My boyfriend DEMANDS gifts for his daughter… so I muted his notifications! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, John, you're under arrest. Oh no, don't do it.

(00:03):
I'm an og Okay start time podcast host.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
I don't care. I'm making sure that you stay here
for the next two minutes.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
All right, I'll be detained for the two more minutes
before we get into this episode.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Yeah, we got some maths coming up. Just stick around.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
Stick around.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
My boyfriend demands gifts for his daughter, so I muted
his notifications.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Seeza, I can have some more.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
I Female thirty two went on an eight day business
trip to Japan. I work as an external consultant for
a company. This would be a visit to scale our services.
Me and three other colleagues would visit, but we would
be at the same site for only two days until
we were spread out to other areas. Was very excited
until I told my boyfriend Brian thirty eight of eight months,

(00:48):
by the way, this comes from Fragrant Range sixty three
and if you had just meet your own stories, go
to our slash Okay story time suburd it. So his
reaction was very not positive. I asked what's going on,
and he said he was spaced out because of the
situations at his job. But he reassured me that everything
was fine. Days later, he asked if I could take

(01:11):
them to the trip to Japan. This caught me off guard,
and I said I needed to think about it. And
then he said he would want his daughter to come
along too, and then his mom and his dog. And
I think his cousin's interested.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
Oh yeah, totally, totally yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
I understand his point. She's seventeen, female, loves anime and
has an impressive knowledge on how some very niche characters.
But also I have my own kids, four and five,
and I would rather share that breakthrough with them, although
realistically taking slash bringing them would be unprofessional. My accommodations

(01:51):
were paid for by the client, and that I had
already confirmed. I got a very nice accommodation, but it
was definitely booked a single traveler. My colleagues had other rooms.
Bringing his daughter would require a separate bedroom or a suite.
I would not go back to cancel the accommodation or
ask for larger space unthinkable, unprofessional, or do anything to

(02:15):
mess up the schedule. When I told Brian, he said
I should be able to ask for some changes. I
also realized that he was ready to pay for any
of it, since he said he would reimburse me later. Ah,
I'm financially okay, but the whole idea of this trip
is to make more money, not spend it and potentially
be unable to recover it. Also, this was never a

(02:39):
vacation or anything, and he said things that showed me
he didn't understand. So I believe that me and my
team and I were on a tight schedule. I could
surely spend time with him and his daughter after work,
but while bringing them to another time and not in
that situation. I didn't ask the client at all because
I was embarrassed. Yeah, this is a boyfriend of eight

(03:02):
months of a year or two.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yeah, you're not like married or like related or something.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
Also, I began to worry about his sense of humor.
Uh oh, Keon knows where this is going. I think
we all know where this is going.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
I see you.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like I've mastered Japanese business etiquette,
but I took the time to learn, and Brian sometimes
does things that get him in trouble. We would be
having dinner with our client and colleagues, and I could
either have him stay at the hotel. Not a great
way to treat a partner or bring him along if

(03:41):
that was permented awkwardly, especially if it messed up the
accommodation schedule. When I candidly expressed his concern, he got
extremely pissed off and gave me the silent treatment. This
stressed me out, and I told him. I left the
airport while he was still not talking to me. We
only talked a few times while I was abroad. His

(04:02):
daughter did not reply to any of my messages. I
don't know if he falsely told her that she was
getting an early high school graduation present trip or if
she was just mad at me. I got a hold
of a huge plush anime character and took good selfie,
asking if she liked it. No answer. About one or
two days before I flew back, he started texting me

(04:24):
with request He wanted me to get xyz this that
for his daughter and nieces. I got very angry because
she didn't even reply, but he had no problem asking
for more and more stuff, and that put me off.
I told him that his daughter never replied to any
of my messages, and he didn't say anything about it.

(04:46):
I ended up silencing his notifications and buying presents for
only my family. When I got back, all I wanted
to do was spend time with my kids, since I've
never been away from them for that long. I kept
putting off seeing Brian Friday when we met for pizza,
and he looked uncomfortable. He said I let his daughter

(05:07):
down by allowing her to think she was getting the
plush toy, and it was also in disbelief when I
confirmed that I didn't bring her anything. I told him
that I didn't think it mattered since she completely blanked
out on me. We had it back and forth, but
there was no resolution. I feel more and more lost
than when this whole thing even started. I feel like

(05:29):
he thinks a gift for his daughter was a solution
to everything, and I disagree. I'm doing my best to
Cree a good future, and I'm a bit on the
fence about continuing the relationship. I care about him and
his kid, but I'm afraid of being used, slash dragged down,
and the way he prew and the way he pressured
me really made me uncomfortable. I'm also a bit hurt

(05:51):
because I had built a relationship with his daughter and
not getting a single reply to any of my messages
is honestly a bad look. I'm tipped to think that
she's either angry because I didn't bring them along, or
that maybe he told her to ignore me. I'm planning
on any things because I need clarity, but also maybe

(06:13):
I'm being unfair. I think there's the possibility that he
got overly excited and got carried away, but I know
he will likely be unable to pay me back. Am
I the a hole?

Speaker 4 (06:25):
Well? I mean, does he need to pay you back
for anything? Because I thought she didn't get anything for
his daughter.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
Ultimately, Uh, that wasn't the thing. It was if he
comes along, I'll put you back for the plane tickets. Yeah,
I'll put you back for the hotel.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
So it's kind of like if he did, if she
did get something for his daughter, it's like he wouldn't
even be able to.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
Yeah, he might not be able to. He might not
be able to trust that.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
We got some comments commenter, never bring a family on
a business trip, not even to Orlando. A woman I
worked with did and we all thought it was weird. Yeah,
and then she spent her evenings with them instead of
on group outings. Completely unprofessional. Yeah. I hope he says,
that's exactly what I didn't want, didn't want to, didn't
want didn't make any sense at all. Commoner says, in Japan,

(07:08):
respect is very important. Bringing them would show you do
not respect this business meeting. And it seems he does
not know how to behave in many situations. Opie says, yes,
I've told him many times. I don't know of any
sending where what he wanted would be okay. In top comment,
says Lady Scorpio, his demands were insane. Cut your losses

(07:28):
and don't feel even a little bit guilty. This guy
showed Opie a laundry list of red flags. Opie needs
to move on and we got an update. All right, update,
Thanks to everyone for your advice. I wanted to clarify
about the plush toy incident. His daughter and I used
to spend time together some afternoons after school while her

(07:50):
dad was at work. I did give her spontaneous gifts
that she enjoyed. We would email and text each other
through during her time with her mom joint custody. When
I sent the picture, I wanted to know if it
was up her Ally I would have bought it if
she said she liked it, but got the silent treatment. Instead.
I know some of you think that I was in
the wrong for not bringing her anything, but that part

(08:13):
of my decision to leave to him comes from feeling
like they acted like an exclusive clique where others can't
be accepted unless they give in to them. She left
me unseen and left me asking hello like an idiot.
We broke up last night.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
Boom did it.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
He wanted to come to my place, but it didn't
allow it. I drove to his place instead and delivered
two packages that had been delivered at my PO box
and told him that I would turn any mail or
package addressed from him from now on. I didn't get
out of my car. The conversation was very short, but
the verious hour. I told him that he acted too

(08:55):
greedy in Vain for me to feel any interest in
prolonging the relationship. He tried to explain that his daughter
was hurt because she had her hopes set on the trip,
but I said this was for a lesson for her,
so that she learns to work for her own things
when she becomes an adult instead of piggybacking her way.
And also this is on him as a father. Yeah,

(09:18):
I took off to avoid more back and forth. I
asked him never to go contact me again and block
them both already changed my locks, changed all my streaming passwords, who,
et cetera. And that's the end of that story.

Speaker 4 (09:35):
My boyfriend has a really cleany best friend. I'm getting suspicious.

Speaker 1 (09:40):
It's time to take a couple steps back best friend.

Speaker 4 (09:43):
So this is a really long story, but basically, I
don't trust my boyfriend and his best female friends relationship,
and I think they've either had spicy sleep before or
dated ooh.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Best female friend.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Oh, don't worry about her.

Speaker 4 (09:58):
By the way, this comes from a seventeen eighty six
and if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay storytime Separate it. So We've
been dating for about six months now and I'm really
head over heels in love with this guy. He's amazing,
really good looking, and the best spicy sleep.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
I've ever had, probably had a lot of practice.

Speaker 4 (10:16):
I really don't want to lose him if I'm just
being paranoid, but he's my first ever proper relationship, and
I don't know if I'm missing red flags. After two
months of dating, I noticed that she facetimes him a lot.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
I'm talking at least three times a day.

Speaker 4 (10:29):
Oh, and they always seem to make goofy faces at
each other and act super close and silly, way different
to how he is with me three times a day.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
Facetiming anyone is a lot. I tell that to the
guide in the room next door.

Speaker 4 (10:43):
They've been friends for five or six years, and they
met through someone else. She is the only person on
his phone with an emoji next to her name is
a crown and then a heart. You have to run
no pie, And he told me that the reason why
that is is because her nickname by everyone is Princess,
so it's all always been that way.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
Since they met. He can take the heart off, though.
Emoji's fine, hard emoji different message.

Speaker 4 (11:07):
I didn't really care until one day we were in
a shop together and I asked if they ever dated before,
and he casually told me that they were going to
date before, but she slept with one of his friends,
so they never did, and she regretted it and actually
had feelings for him, but he didn't feel the same way,
so they just continued being friends. That made me worried,
especially because they text in FaceTime all the time and

(11:28):
she calls him.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Even if it's three am, just to chat.

Speaker 4 (11:31):
Or if she needs help with something, and he always
drops everything to speak to her. They have a secret
SOS code with each other, which means that they have
to drop everything to help each other out, even if
we are on FaceTime, and he will tell me that
she has an SOS and will call me back later. Today,
he was on FaceTime with her and she asked where
he was, and he said that he was out with

(11:52):
a friend. And then later another friend called him a
guy and he told him he was with me, his girlfriend.
I asked him why he told her he was with
a friend, but to the other guy he specifically said girlfriend.
He told me to drop it and that I was
being paranoid and didn't remember.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
Then he admitted that he hadn't really told her much
about me, although.

Speaker 4 (12:14):
She knows me roughly, because he didn't want to tell
all of his friends unless we were one hundred percent serious,
so he only has told a few friends. However, he
has another female friend who he told about me, and
he's really close to her.

Speaker 2 (12:28):
So I think he's lying, Opie, So do I? I
do doo?

Speaker 4 (12:33):
I was playing with his phone he was on mine
and as a joke, we were going through each other's pictures.

Speaker 2 (12:39):
He didn't mind. He allowed it and it.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
Was just a joke. I don't like this, it's a
dangerous joke.

Speaker 4 (12:47):
And we were laying on bet when I found a
video she said him of her having spicy sleep with
the guy. I asked him why she would send him
that if they are just friends, and he said that
it was years ago with an ex of hers and
she sent it to him as a joke. That was
super weird anyway, I guard it, but still felt like
something was off, so I went back on his phone

(13:10):
later when he wasn't looking. I know one hundred percent
this is wrong, but I felt like he was lying,
and I found messages from him to her saying that
they have to tone down their facetimes to a friendship
level because his aunt is coming over for the weekend,
even though it was me that he was seeing over
the weekend, so he lied to her about me being here.
I couldn't confront him as I didn't want him to

(13:31):
know that I went through his phone. Then he invited
me out to spend the day with his friends, one
guy and a girl, and I asked if his female
best friend would be coming and he said.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
No because she's sick. I also thought that he was
lying and hiding something.

Speaker 4 (13:44):
I feel like they have dated before or she has
feelings for him, and I don't trust them too together,
especially as he does photography as a side job and
has taken pictures of her and his other friends in
lingerie for his portfolio at his house. He showed me
all the picks and he has a separate Instagram for it.
I told him that I don't trust her because of
the spicy sleep video and the fact that he's seen

(14:04):
her in lingerie because of his side job. So he
finally agreed to tell her about me on the phone
in front of me, and I told her to reassure
me that they are just friends and told me that
whatever friendship she and him have is none of my
business and that I should just trust whatever he says
or break up with him. He didn't even back me
up or anything or tell her off. He hung up

(14:25):
and we didn't speak about it, and I left because
I was so upset. Good get out of there. I
just feel super insecure and worried. And he always tells
me that I'm being paranoid and that if he wanted
to date her, they would already, but now I feel
super betrayed and like he doesn't even stand up for me.
And I went home and cried and haven't spoken him since.
Should I give him an ultimatum stop being friends with her?

(14:46):
Or am I just being a paranoid, crazy girlfriend and
we have an update?

Speaker 2 (14:50):
But was your answer?

Speaker 1 (14:52):
Hope you understand that this is your first proper relationship.
And yes he looks good, he does the thing really good.
But there's other guys out there. There's other possibilities out there.
If you go out and you pursue yourself in better ways,
you will find someone that actually values a relationship with you. Yeah,
and loves you and doesn't love their girl best friend

(15:12):
and is going on this weird romantic journey with him
while you're kind of in the middle of it.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
He texted me all day begging me to come over
so that he can explain. I came all the way
to his house, crying my eyes out, asking him to
tell me the truth about his female friend, and I
admitted that I saw the text between them both about
me being an aunt. Then he said that I must
have been confused and said that he'd never sent her
that I went back on his phone and he deleted it.

(15:38):
Then I cried and asked him why he allowed his
friend to talk to me like that, and he said
that when I left, he called her back and told
her that the way she spoke to me was unacceptable,
and even deleted the emojis next to her name to
try and prove it.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
That's one hundred percent a lie. One hundred percent a lie.

Speaker 4 (15:54):
I cried and said that it wasn't good enough and
that he needs to get her to apologize on the
phone because I didn't believe him. He was reluctant, and
finally he called her and when she answered, he was
being super weird and didn't even want to say that.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
I was in the room.

Speaker 4 (16:07):
Then she asked why he was calling and why he
was acting weird, and she was like, oh, are you
with your aunt? So then I got so fed up
and shouted and asked him why she would ask that
unless he didn't send her the text.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
Then he got flustered and was like, Oh, I don't
know what you're talking about. There's no aunt.

Speaker 4 (16:24):
And then his friend was like, Oh, I know it's
that girl you're with again. And I asked her outright
to apologize, and she refused, saying that she had.

Speaker 2 (16:31):
Nothing to be sorry for.

Speaker 4 (16:33):
Then he feebly tried to ask her to apologize, saying
where I was coming from clearly just to please me,
not really meaning it, and she could tell. Then he
said that he can't force her to apologize and he
can see both sides. Then he tried to say that
it was my fault and I shouldn't have been snooping
through his phone and that I shouldn't have shouted at

(16:53):
his friend at as his girlfriend, even though she was
rude to me.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
First, girl, if you don't break up with him, dude,
I'll do it for you. Yeah, Like, do you not
understand how deep this guy's going. He's trying to juggle
two people at once.

Speaker 2 (17:07):
I just love the consistent lying for both people, Like
the best friend's lying to and he's lying to the girlfriend.

Speaker 4 (17:13):
He's just like, wait, literally, I can't take his manipulation
and lies. I started crying again, and his female friend
then turned on me, calling me a red flag for
going through his phone and being obsessed and weird and
saying me and him haven't been going out that long
to get involved in hers and his friendship, but.

Speaker 1 (17:31):
We're going out and like we're a couple.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (17:35):
Then I shouted that we were together for six months
and she didn't know either way, she didn't care, and
so that I'm not.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
Good enough for him.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
Poor she's gonna say that?

Speaker 4 (17:44):
Yeah, of course he didn't even interrupt her or explain
or anything.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
I had enough and I stormed out. I cried the
whole way home, and.

Speaker 4 (17:52):
I have blocked him. God, he has called me about
thirty times. My best friend thinks that he may have
been trying to use me for a power because he's
from another country, and thinks that the girl may have
been in on it. I'm so heartbroken and I can't
stop crying. I honestly thought that he was the one,
but I am very naive and easily let on. I
should have known better. Toad face, And there is an update.

(18:14):
I should probably make a whole new post. But anyway,
he has a separate phone, which he has been calling
me on all day.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
Why does he have a separate phone? Yeah? Was that about?

Speaker 4 (18:24):
I feel like they're so young, so why at probably
a young age, why does he have a separate phone?

Speaker 2 (18:30):
I ignored all of them.

Speaker 4 (18:32):
Then a different number called me and it was his
other female friend, and basically she was trying to vouch
for him and explain that he's a really good guy.
Then when I told her everything, she was shocked because.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
She didn't know.

Speaker 5 (18:44):
You're like, yeah, what about now?

Speaker 2 (18:46):
Are you still thinking he's a good guy now?

Speaker 1 (18:47):
Oh uh?

Speaker 2 (18:49):
Shoot back? Yeah.

Speaker 4 (18:52):
Then she admitted even more stuff that I didn't know before,
that they all got wasted and kissed before at a
club that her and him and the other girl, and
once they played truth or Dare and the other female
best friend was dared to kiss his wider.

Speaker 2 (19:06):
As a joke. Both was it and both were years ago.
That creeped me out so much. Yeah me noo h.

Speaker 4 (19:13):
Then she was like, apart from this stuff, nothing else
that she knows has happened, and that even though that
stuff happened.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
They still are only just friends.

Speaker 4 (19:23):
She admitted that the other girl did have feelings for
him and probably still does, but he doesn't feel the
same way, and told me that she did try to
tell them that their weird friendship would stop any of
them from being in a.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
Relationship with others. Anyway.

Speaker 4 (19:37):
I told her to forget it. I don't need his
friends begging and doing his dirty work. For him and
that I don't need this kind of drama in my life.
Good for you. Op, that's true. Then she was like, oh,
but you shouldn't have been rude to her and him.
That shows disrespect as his girlfriend. I'm just being honest
and you should be careful as he's a good guy.
He's just not good at explaining himself. How did he

(19:59):
get all of these people to believe him he's.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
Trying to get that passport Lockdownary?

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Did he manipulate all these people to believe that he's
a good guy? I worry for this group.

Speaker 1 (20:09):
Of friends soundative, clearly, I worry.

Speaker 4 (20:13):
I'm mentally a bit slow. I have autism and my
English isn't that great. People always make fun of me
or take advantage of me and my good nature, and
I can get wrapped up in stuff like getting excited
with dating and I forget.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
That it's not even that real.

Speaker 4 (20:27):
I can't explain, but if you know what I mean,
they are still trying to make it seem like it's
my fault, and then I'm the crazy, rude one and
shouldn't have gone on his phone. Plus it's too crazy
him getting other people to call me begging for me back. Now,
I'm one hundred percent sure that he's trying to use me,
Otherwise he wouldn't be trying so hard to still be
with me. Anyway, I blocked the other girl and told

(20:48):
her to leave me alone too, and for people to
stop the calls to me.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
And that is the end of that story. My friend
invited an extra person on our trip, but doesn't want
to pay for her.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
It's all right, you can take in the bags, can
clean and cook for me. Then here's the story.

Speaker 2 (21:05):
Basically, my friend, let's call her Ashley, and I are
going on a trip with three other people Jess, Emily
and Sam.

Speaker 1 (21:12):
Sam Mintionined, Sam Minchined.

Speaker 2 (21:14):
Ashley and I were discussing what the cost of splitting
up prices was gonna be like for the hotel. I
booked our hotel, and since there's five of us going,
I told her it's gonna be split up into five.
By the way, this comes from Just Individuals thirty seven
forty nine and if you want to smit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay storytime separate it. So
Ashley says she's paying for her friend Jess and wants

(21:37):
it to be split up into four, because even though
Jess is going, Ashley is the one paying for both,
and her friend isn't paying her back for it, so
there are five people going. But Ashley's like, I'm paying
for Jess, so I only want it split four ways. No, no, no,
you have to pay two of the things if you're

(21:59):
paying for Jess Ashley.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
So let's just say this trip's like twenty five hundred, yeah,
to go on for a week, because the last story
we read about this was like around twenty five hundred,
So twenty five hundred divided about five people five hundred
bucks five hundred bucks, okay, twenty five divided by four
six hundred and twenty five bucks.

Speaker 2 (22:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
So is this person that we've all never met worth
one hundred and twenty five dollars each? Yeah? If not,
we're splitting five ways, and you're paying one thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
You're paying one thousand. That's tough if you want to
pay for her, sure, but you're paying the whole thing.
I personally don't think that's fair to me, Emily or Sam.
Ashley is choosing to pay for her friend's hotel part
the way I see it, splitting it into four only
benefits Ashley and Jess. Jess because she doesn't have to
pay a penny. Yeah, Ashley. The thing is, oh, Ashley,

(22:48):
Ashley is not paying for Jess. Jess is just not paying.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
That's the problem. I'm at. My brother's actually going through
this exact same scenario with a couple because the couple's like,
we're a couple. We hate that four ways. I hate that.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
I'm like, no, you're two people. You didn't conjoin.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, I was like. My solution to this is like, oh, okay,
if we want to split it evenly, So what we're
gonna do is we're gonna find the square footage of
the hotel room. Yeah, We're gonna be like, okay, this
is your section, this is your section, and then we're
gonna split it up by like Cosper scare Foot.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
Exactly, not me, Emily or Sam, because we'd be paying
more than we should, just because Ashley is paying for two,
but she's combining two into one because it's just her paying.
If this is confusing at all, here's a mini breakdown
of fake prices. But we've already done this, so.

Speaker 1 (23:35):
Yeah, but I mean we can give her fake prices cue.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
Total of hotel one hundred dollars. Five people equals five
payments twenty dollars each. How Ashley wants to do it,
five people equals four payments twenty five dollars each, because
she's paying for two people, including herself, but she's only
counting them as one. That would mean me, Emily and
Sam have to pay more than what we're supposed to owe.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
I don't think this is right, No, Bennettle's just give
Ashley the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she missed like
eighth grade math.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
Yeah, maybe she's just bad at map.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
And she doesn't know how this works.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
She's like, no, no, no, it's it's the same you guys
don't get it.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, I think just sitting down with her.

Speaker 2 (24:15):
And running what you just said over with her, you know,
like a whiteboard. Yeah, you're like, okay, Ashley, here you go,
and you.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
Can use like cows, Like so there are four cows
and they have to eat this much.

Speaker 2 (24:28):
Better take one cow away the way she wants to
do it. It makes it to where Sam, Emily and
I are also paying for justice part, not just Ashley.
I'm pretty sure Ashley is upset with me because I
told her that it needs to be split into five
to make it fair for everyone else. And she's not
really been talking to me, so am I the ale?

(24:48):
And there are some relevant comments. Commoner one says, not
the ale. What are the sleeping arrangements? Could hinge price
on that? Who's on a bed, a couch, sharing a bed,
et cetera? Says I believe it's two full sized beds
and a sofa bed. Ashley and Jess would be sharing
a bed because they're closest with each other. We haven't
decided the rest of the sleeping arrangements yet though, but

(25:11):
two on the other bed and one on the sofa
bed most likely. Commoner two says, not the a hole
to your logic, Yes, Ashley should be paying forty dollars
while the rest of you are at twenty. I have
to ask, though, is your friendship worth whatever the real
additional amount you three would.

Speaker 1 (25:26):
Have to pay is it? Is it worth it?

Speaker 2 (25:29):
Also? Is she just paying for Jess for the hotel
or is all split cost items for the trip? Opie says,
I've talked to the others and they're not comfortable paying
extra either, and they don't know Ashley very well. I'm
not gonna make them pay for someone they don't even know.
Ashley did say it's just for the hotel that she's
paying for Jess, but that might actually but that might

(25:49):
change in a couple of months when our trip actually
takes place. Who knows. But my main focus right now
is the hotel. Opi is mentioned a few times in
the comments about the prices listed. Opie says, I don't
know how many times I have to say this, but
I said in the post that the prices I used
to the post were fake prices. The hotel price was

(26:12):
so much more expensive than the fake prices I used.
It's not just five dollars. I thought that was obvious. Okay,
no one is comfortable paying the extra because Emily and
Sam hardly know Jess, and we've all got our own
stuff to pay for during this trip. This trip is expensive.
It's not that I'm not willing to keep the piece.
It's that I'm not willing to be scammed.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
I think if you added two zeros to her fake yesh, Yeah,
I agree, but there was an up date.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
First of all, I wanted to thank everyone who responded
and for the tips. I made the post to make
sure I was thinking correctly, even though I truly couldn't
make sense into what Ashley wanted to do, but I
mainly posted it because my friend wasn't talking to me,
so I thought I might have been the ale putting
out there that everyone going on the trip are young
adults ranging from eighteen to twenty two. Makes sense. Ashley

(27:01):
and I are twenty one. I noticed a lot of
people misunderstood my post, so I'm going to clarify a
few things. Jess was going on this trip, whether Ashley
pays for her or she pays for herself, she was
always going to come and is an original member of
the group that's going. I had just gotten the news
that Ashley is deciding to pay for her share of
the hotel, but Jess isn't paying Ashley back. So I

(27:25):
think Ashley got confused because since there's only four people paying,
she thought the bill should be split up into four.
She just is dumb. It's okay, I knew it. She's
just silly.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
I knew it. She missed eighth grade math.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
But that's not how the bill should be split up.
It should be split up by However, many people are
staying not paying because Ashley is choosing to pay for Jess,
she doesn't have to do that. The prices I used
in my post were fake prices to make it simpler
to explain the actual cost of the hotel was way
more than the examples I use it. Something I forgot

(28:03):
to mention is that Ashley and I have never had
an issue splitting up bills before, so I thought this
was extra weird of her to try and pull. We
just never had this problem before. Also, a lot of
you were saying this will be a continuous problem during
the trip, like for food or anything else. But whenever
we've been on trips before and ordering food or whatever,
usually we order separate, so that shouldn't be a problem

(28:24):
during the trip. Another thing I didn't mention in the
original post was that the hotel room states it sleeps
six people. There's two full size beds two. There's two
full sized beds and a sofa bed. I don't know
if this is really that important, but a lot of
people were asking Jess and Ashley would be sharing a bed,
and most likely me and Emily will share a bed

(28:45):
because Sam made it very clear that she wants the
sofa bed lol. But I do not think it should
be split up by beds or sleeping arrangements because we're
all sharing the same space. Also, something I didn't mention
was Ashley said she was only paying for Jessice hotel part,
and that anything else was coming out of Jess's pocket.
She's not paying for Jess's hotel part, She's paying for

(29:06):
her own. Now for the actual update, I've talked to
both Emily and Sam about it and both agree it
should be split five ways, and if one person wants
to pay for another person, then they have to pay noble.
Neither of them are comfortable paying the extra because they
don't know Jess very well, if at all. I also
tried to explain to Ashley with examples like if I'm
paying for Sam and Emily, then it would be split

(29:28):
up into two and you're paying more for just two
people than I am for three, and then explain to
her that it just wouldn't be fair if I did
that to her. I also emphasized that the way she
wanted to do it makes it to where everyone is
paying Jess's share, not just her. I was not gonna
back down until she got it.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
Now. I think her play was the act home so
she could save money.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
Yeah, she's say, what do you mean I should only
pay five hundred dollars and that's for everyone?

Speaker 1 (29:59):
Kay?

Speaker 2 (30:00):
No, Ashley, that's not how life works or money or hotels.

Speaker 1 (30:07):
Oh man, I was thinking about, like other scenarios in
her life, where might come up again, A lot gets scammed,
she can get scammed by we could be one of
the stick And.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
She finally says that makes sense now, and she apologized. Whoa,
She gets it, guys, she gets it, And I mean,
I'm happy she finally understands how it's not fair to
do it her way. But I'm still annoyed that I
had to, you know, reverse card and use her logic
against her to make her understand it should have made
sense from the very beginning. But it's whatever. I'm hoping

(30:41):
this whole situation won't make this trip any awkward. But
it's two months away, so hopefully everything will pass uh
and we'll have a blast. If anything else crazy happens,
I'll be short up to you, guys. Thanks for all
the replies and common says. Comment Want says, splitting four
ways means everyone's paying for the fifth person. Math really
isn't that hard? Reply? But then Ashley doesn't get a

(31:02):
claim she's the one paying for Jess. Reply, that's all
I could think while reading this. OHP should have just
stated it's exactly like that. No, we're not splitting it
four ways, because then you're not paying for Jess. We are,
and you are the only one who wants to pay
for so you pay for her a portion which is
split five ways. And Comma two says the math was
not mathing. Ain't that the truth? But uh, folks, that's

(31:26):
the end of that story, and Ashley finally learned how
to do math.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Yay, yay, the whole goal here. Hey, it's John here,
og host here. We're gonna get back to the stories.
But he's a quick three minute break of ass from
our sponsors. I trusted my friend's mother to live in
my deceased father's apartment. I regret it.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
Never trust him.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
My father passed away unexpectedly two and a half months ago,
of the ripe age of fifty eight. Oh this is
still very much of trauma for me. I'm the only
child and he was not married. He left everything to
me and his will, I inherited a two bedroom apartment
that I am not need of since I already have
a place on my own and by the way, this
comes from holographic Peaches And if you want to spit

(32:10):
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story
teme to subredd it. So, my best friend's mother, Nicole,
has recently come home from living abroad for six months.
She came home early because she missed her family and grandchild,
but it basically left her homeless. She's been CouchSurfing and
living with her sister and daughter aka my best friend

(32:31):
since early childhood. Natalie. Almost immediately when Nicole heard that
my father passed away, she asked if nic Coole, just
if Natalie could ask me if the apartment was available
for a crash for a few months while she's fixing
up her life situation long term. I trust Natalie with
my life, and I had no reason not to trust

(32:51):
in Nicole. We all thought it would be a good
temporary fix since I wouldn't be able since I would
be stuck paying Dad's rent and alone, as well as
my own rent and bills. And she said she could
be there as much as I needed to to go
through Dad's things and clear through the apartment in stuff.
He'd just be thankful to have a place to go
at night, and I wanted to help. She moved in

(33:13):
just shy three weeks after my dad passed and promised
me to be respectful of everything in the apartment. We
didn't sign a rent contract, but we said that a
three months notice both ways is standard and would do
here as well. I gave her permission to use things
in the kitchen if needed, as well as the washer, dryer, detergent,

(33:34):
fabric softener, cleaning products, toilet paper, eat up unopened food items,
et cetera, everything that goes with living in an apartment.
When Nicole had lived there for five weeks, she sent
a text saying she'd be moving out later that week.
She had found and rented a house. She also wanted
half the rent back that she had already paid me
for the upcoming month. Everyone asked said that I shouldn't

(33:58):
have complied and sent her the back, but since this
is my best friend's mom, I still wanted to help
her and I knew that she needed the money. She
was grateful. This is where a contract comes in. I'm
just glad she didn't stay and didn't leave. That's what
I thought was about to happen.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
I'm a little concerned.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
I would rather pay her back half rent. Know when
she's getting out of the house, I hope she's getting
out than staying.

Speaker 2 (34:22):
I hope she's getting out.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
Hope she doesn't stackt just her pr squat.

Speaker 2 (34:28):
I think she might be.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
As soon as I got the keys back and walked
through the apartment, I noticed that there was left stuff
around than usual.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
Oh no, she cleaned, she hoped clean. She helped clean
all of your valuables.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
My dad liked to keep, like to keep extra of
his things he used regularly, like hand soap, dish soap, detergent,
fabric softener, toilet paper, cooking things like olive oil, aluminum foil,
parchment paper, plastic bags, and all that kind of stuff
was just gone, even though no person possibly could used
it up in five weeks. For example, I know for

(35:04):
a fact there were three extra rolls of illumina foil
that aren't there. Now. The worst thing was I noticed
that there were fridge magnets missing.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
No, not the fridge magnets, yeah no, wait what the
fridge magnets.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
Specifically magnets that have bought for my dad, round bed
neo round bead magnets that he used to make little
designs in graphs with oh yeah, they were a sentimental
OW immediately texted her and as if she had taken
the magnets by accident, and I got this reply, Hey,
holographic pieces. Yes, I took them because grandson thought they

(35:42):
were so fun to play with and I didn't think
they were very important.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
No, give them back through mine, give them.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
Back, I answered her. You can't just take whatever you like,
and it can be really dangerous for little kids to
play with magnets. If they swallow them, it can cause
serious damage. I want them immediately. A reply to that
was just, hey, ohp just relax. Yes, you shouldn't take
things that aren't yours. I'm beyond furious.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
That's crazy. I feel like, yeah, you're right, you shouldn't
take things that aren't yours.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
Proceeds to think I would be like wherever her new
house is, take her stuff, be like steal. Hey, I
need a place to stay. Both of my house and
my dad's apartment is flooded right now? Can I stay
at your house for a second and then just take
it all back? Take it all back? Come on, take
a little extra too, mm hmm interest. I am beyond furious.

(36:35):
I feel like the whole violated my trust in the
worst kind of ways. I trusted her to be respectful
in the apartment, not to steal things. I'm just wondering
what else goes missing. I have not had the chance
to go through everything, and it's not like I keep
inventory either. Depending I'm sorry, depending on when this guy
was like born, you could have money all over the

(36:57):
place my great grandpa's house. He was born during the
Great Depression era. They are taught not to keep money
in one place. That's true, So that's true.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
You could you could be scraunging up money every year.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
You might have keep on a little. Yeah, I'm so
aware that I'm going through the trauma of losing a parent,
and I might be more sensitive than usual. I just
want to scream in her face and never ever ever
see her again or speak to her, but I think
that might be impossible since her daughter, he's my best friend.
We were running to each other on occasion, no doubt,

(37:30):
we have not spoken other than the text, and I
have not gotten a hold of her, and I have
not gotten a hold of my friend either. I just
want to know how I best should handle the situation
going forward, and if I should include my friend or not.
We got an update.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
I think you should absolutely. I mean, if your friend
was involved in the conversation about your her mom moving in,
I think she should absolutely be involved. If she wasn't
and that was just a converse between you and her mom,
then maybe don't involve the friend.

Speaker 1 (38:04):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (38:05):
I think that can just be you talking to her
mom and be like, hey, you need to give me
those things back, those sentimental value. I let you stay here.
I took off rent price. Ah, that's stealing.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
How can you be so insensitive towards death kind of
take advantage of someone I don't know? It's weird. This
update is a long time coming. I wrote my past
one one and a half years ago, man, and I've
been wanting to update you all for a while now.
So unfortunately it gets worse. We left off with my
best friend, Natalie's mother. Nicole had been living in my

(38:41):
dad's apartment for a few weeks, and when she got
moved out, I found out there were things missing. In
my post, I specifically wrote about a set of magnets
that and some household items. Well. A few days after
me writing the post, I started to notice there were
a lot more things missing. This is a few examples,
but not everything. Two full sets of towels from a

(39:01):
luxury brand, as well as a few odd towels same brand.
Two sheets, three sets of betting, and a small mirror,
A couple of movies, a few children's books, my old ones,
several things from the kitchen, like a vase and a picture,
and a small bathroom carpet that was stored in the closet. Yeah,
she snooped through my dad's storage and stolen things from

(39:23):
there as well. She's got a house to furnish.

Speaker 2 (39:27):
Yes, she's like, I'm moving into a new place and
neat stuff.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
This is your housewarming gift. Yeah, I don't think your
dad's gonna use this anymore. I have since gotten a
few things back, like the magnets that were most important
to me, Not all of it. She keeps coming up
with excuses. The sheets, the towels, books, et cetera. Are
moving box somewhere, or in a moving box somewhere, or
they're in storage. You'll get everything back soon, or I'll

(39:52):
just need to watch them first, or I haven't seen them.
I don't know. I don't even know if I have them.
Are you sure you don't have them. First off, did
you why did you take this in the first place?

Speaker 2 (40:02):
Yeah, come on, come on. I honestly think at this
point maybe you could bring in the daughter your friend
and say like, hey, I've been having a lot of
trouble with your mom. If you're able to talk, like,
don't put it on your friend, because we don't know
that she's at all involved. She might not know anything
about it.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
Can you help me set your mom?

Speaker 3 (40:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (40:20):
I think you could say, like, hey, your mom, this
has been kind of taking advantage of the situation. Do
you you mind like helping me talk to her or something.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
I'm more okay with it, but when I but when
it just had happened, I was furious. I'm very sad
about it. Now the situation is much more different and weird.
I don't necessarily like the idea of Nicole using my
deceased father's very nice sets of bettings and hows, but
they are just things, and I don't know if i'd

(40:47):
actually use them myself. Pee. Natalie has been trying to
help me as much as possible, and she's very upset
with her mother. She tried to ruimburse me for everything,
but I don't think it's her job to do that.
We have left it at If Natalie sees something that's
my dad slash minds and Cole's, she'll grab it and
give it back to me. But this is where things

(41:09):
get weird. My original post, I wrote that Nicole moved
out because she had found a house to rent. Turns
out she actually hadn't. She moved in with her boyfriend
in his department. They have since broken up, and I
left Nicole homeless again with no one else to turn to.
She had to move in with Natalie about eight months ago,
who reluctantly agreed. She had a spare room and the

(41:32):
rent is high, so she needed the extra money.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
Oh okay, Nicole again, this is Natalie's mom, right yep.
Nicole once again has a situation where she doesn't have
a place to live and so now she's living with
her daughter. Hopefully she doesn't steal from her daughter.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
Who knows? Yeah, who knows, dude, who really knows? These
days things have been crazy since this is a very
short list of how Nicole's acting right now. What she
will pick facts with Natalie constantly, and then immediately after
she'll pretend like nothing happened and that she's normal again.
Oh that's a good one too. She spends a lot

(42:07):
of money on things she can't afford electronics, clothes, shoes,
beauty stuff, and then she'll be late with the rent
or cause a huge fight to prove she shouldn't have
to pay rent this month. She also won't return things
that won't fit so I's suit her because it's too hard,
and she has piles of clothes that are just too
small and laying around her room. Three She's gained a

(42:28):
lot of weight and she complains about it all the
time but won't do anything about it. For she's sick
all the time, as in, I'm not feeling good today,
think I have a fever, and then she'll just stay
home from work for a full week. Now, with everything
that's going on with the Avid, she's apparently saying she
wants to quit her job because she doesn't feel safe
outside anymore, and if she does this, she won't have

(42:51):
any more income, yet she has no plan B. Five,
She expects Natalie to shop for food, pay for all
of it, and cook food every day. Six she'll whine
and complain that the apartment is messy, needs to be cleaned.
Natalie has a four year old son and a dog,
so there are a lot of toys in the living
room in this son's room, but Nicole refuses to clean

(43:15):
anything herself because it's not her mess, even if some
of the mess is hers. Seven. She spent an hour's
sorting her grandson's lego and then yelled at him when
he was playing with it because he rumined it. She
also complains that the grandson doesn't like her anymore and
says that he is mean if she doesn't want to
play with her. She says this is the front of

(43:36):
both Natalie and the kid. Eight. She'll lose something like
her phone charger or house keys, and then Nicole will
say that Natalie has taken the item from her and
that it's Natalie who's lost them. She also says it's
on Natalie to reimburse her for the things she loses,
clash her responsibility to get her a new set of keys,
et cetera. Nine. I also had the unfortunate run in

(43:59):
with the coole last fall at Natalie's son's fourth birthday.
She's act like nothing's happened. She talked to me laugh,
just pretending like nothing had happened even before though I
hadn't seen her or talked to her in almost a year.
It was super weird because it didn't feel like it
was just for show everyone else that had also been there.

(44:21):
How many more points do we have? What the heck?

Speaker 2 (44:23):
Seems like she's just a nuisance is the issue. She's
living with Natalie, her daughter, and is a nuisance and
doesn't know how to act like an adult and you know,
kind of live on her own and that's it.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
She also adopted a four month old puppy act as
a co signer to the apartment where she's not and
she says that the dog did it on purpose, Peter
poop outside her door, have a spite for.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
Her, And the list goes on, and the list goes on.

Speaker 1 (44:51):
I think she's got to go on the streets, man.

Speaker 2 (44:54):
I just don't think that. I think that Natalie needs
to set boundaries. I understand that it be especially you
know your mother. This is not just a random person
who's taking advantage of you, but neither Nonetheless, she's taken
advantage of you, and she's acting awful and she's just
being an overall nuisance. As Wrestling Mama says, Uh, so

(45:17):
I feel like you need to set some boundaries, or
you need to tell Natalie to set some boundaries and
say this is not going to stand. If you need
a place to live, you have to follow my rules
or you're out.

Speaker 1 (45:25):
Yeah, And if.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
She, you know, ends up being out, then that's.

Speaker 1 (45:29):
That's on her. That it's just I don't know. Whenever
the red flag to me was whenever she traveled for
six months and didn't have a place to land after
that kind of shows.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
She relies on other people and she expects them to
like pick her up when she has nowhere to go,
even though she's not actually doing any work to find
a place, Like she's quitting her junk because she doesn't
want to do it.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
She's yeah, ah ah, last little bit here. I stated
in the list she's very worried about the virus. She
stays up all night to read about it, and she's
and she'll say to Natalie she's convinced if she'll get
sick from the VID, she knows she's going to pass
from it. I think she show first from untreated depression,

(46:12):
but it would not be good enough to explain what's
going on. I feel for Natalie because these last few
months have been hard for her. Nicole critiques her about
everything from how she looks to her parenting. Natalie cries
every day and she tries to be home as little
as possible. Someone has any insight might be happening, I'd

(46:33):
appreciate some advice. Thanks for reading. Sorry I don't have
a nice for update.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
I think Nicole probably has some sort of mental issues, absolutely,
And people are saying Wrestling Mama says, I think some
sort of kind of mental evaluation for sure. But regardless,
she's taking advantage of the people who are offering her
help and that's not okay. And you guys need to
set boundaries at the end of the day.

Speaker 1 (46:55):
Yeah, it could be.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
Like a literally of different things wrong with her. That
doesn't well, that doesn't mean that she can get away
with treating you guys poorly.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Like I think, boundaries with a moderator around, sure, someone
that'll take her serious. But I don't know. She might
be a lost costs too, because sometimes I feel like
people at a certain age don't like to learn, don't
like to hear anything new. They just kind of live
their life that way, staying at the same level you're
she's losing money taking advantage of your daughter. Where's the

(47:28):
line though?

Speaker 2 (47:29):
We just don't know.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
We just what do you mean you don't know? Where
would you put the line?

Speaker 2 (47:32):
So she doesn't? Oh? I know, I know where I
would put put the line. I just meant like these
people don't clearly.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
No, But where would you put the line?

Speaker 2 (47:40):
I put the line up like she's stealing stuff? That
would have been I'd been like, whoa, if you don't
stop doing that, you have to find a new place
to live. I put the line at she's literally I
don't know, bringing a dog in and yeah, like without
I don't know all of this.

Speaker 1 (47:59):
All of this is the line I would have drawn
the line at you're buying stuff and not paying rent. Yeah,
come on, hey, it's Sam' your og host here. Bring
it back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads
from our sponsor. I don't want my friend as my bridesmaid,
but I'm afraid to hurt her feelings.

Speaker 5 (48:16):
Oh, you're still gonna have to decide.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
I'm getting married next fall to my best friend of
eight years Max. What do you know? And I've been
struggling to put together my bridal party because I no
longer wish to have my best friend Lindy as one
of my bridesmaids. I say my best friend in quote
Marx because for all that she proclaims herself to be
my best friend. I'm so glad I'm your best friend.

(48:40):
I've had to do that to a few people, so
glad I'm your best.

Speaker 3 (48:43):
Friend, that I'm your best friend, and they're like, yeah, yeah, Riley, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
One are my eye colors? What is my color in
my eye? Beautiful?

Speaker 5 (48:53):
That's the best response if you don't know someone's eye color.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
Love it. She hasn't been treating me like a good
one for a while, and I also no longer regard
her as one of mine as all the details below
and more ooh tea. By the way, this comes from
screaming in the morning, and if you would to sbmit
your own stories, go to the r slash okay storytelling subreddit.
So long backstory for context. And they are blue and green,

(49:17):
not really, Hazel. I have been friends with Lindy ever
since we were in elementary school together. We've been each
other's best friends for almost as long as I can remember.
I've always had each other's backs and supported each other
and been there for each other. We used to have
a lot of shared interests, but as we've grown up
and gone to different universities and pursued different things, those

(49:39):
shared interests have decreased. I don't think it's entirely due
to no longer having many or any at all shared
interests that we have grown apart. I have many friends,
some of who I have known for almost as long
as Lindy and others less than that, and even after
our shared interests have changed, we have managed to remain close.

(49:59):
There have been some stumbling blocks in our longtime friendship
that I have over time caused me to grow a
bit more guarded around her, but for the most part
I didn't make it much of an issue about it.
In retrospect, I should have. Oh boy, I know exactly
where this one's going.

Speaker 3 (50:17):
Oh he can see the future, folks. He's like what
he can smell the future? Right?

Speaker 1 (50:26):
Oh he smells what's cooking? Yeah. So the incident that
has caused me to start truly revaluating our friendship took
place last spring. Our beloved family cat of ten years
was diagnosed with late stage cancer. Less than two months later,
we had to make the decision put him down to sleep.
As he was suffering too much rip cheese puff. Arrangements

(50:49):
were made with his vet to have him put to
sleep in the familiar comfort of our home. Since it
was a plan thing, I asked Linda ahead of time
if she'd be able to come over to be with me,
as I didn't want to be alone at such time.
She said she had plans in the afternoon, and I
told her that that was fine, as I didn't know
how long things would take with the vet and funeral

(51:11):
and Sarah may with the funeral company. Anyways, I asked
her if she could come afterwards, anything from the evening onward,
as I'd really appreciate the company. She said she wasn't
sure she would have the energy to do so, so
she had planned to head home after her afternoon outings
to rest once more. I told her that this was

(51:31):
fine and she didn't have to come over too early,
that she could take a nap first if needed, and
come after she felt more rested again. She said she
wasn't sure if she could make it afterwards, and I
decided to stop pressing the issue.

Speaker 3 (51:43):
Okay, sometimes when we stop pressing issues, issues developed.

Speaker 5 (51:47):
No, I we ain't pressing it.

Speaker 1 (51:48):
I'm sorry, you were now demoted to friend. Dude. If
someone's cat was being passed away and they're like, I'm
gonna have the issue, I'm just said like, oh, he
had to ask her to come over times instead. I
asked Max and then my boyfriend, if you could keep
me company that evening, and he immediately told me he'd
be there and whatever I wanted to arrange for food

(52:11):
that that that I might like to eat that he'd
cheer me up with. Then, when the day came to
say goodbye Cheese Puff, my siblings and I were all there,
along with some of my siblings close friends, I cat.
Max updated as to what was happening so that he'd
know what time to come over. That whole day, Lindy
never once called or even texted a check gran on

(52:32):
how I was doing, or offered any words of comfort
or condolences. That night, I made a bunch of social
media posts about Cheese Puff cheese Buffs passing. It was
really hard to type them out and select the pictures.
Even now, more than a year on, I can't look
at my photos of Cheese Puff without tearing up. He
and my friends, both close ones and acquaintances like offered

(52:55):
their condolences and shared pictures and stories about cheese Puff.
Good number of them even reached out to me privately
support in various ways, but not Lindy. I know exactly
why Lindy didn't want to come over, But Lindy only
strives on taking other people's energy. Thus, if you don't
have any energy take, she's not gonna be there. So

(53:19):
she was with other people taking their energies and she's
gonna feast on that through the afternoon. Because Lindy is
an energy vampire. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:30):
Yeah, if you don't have any energy in your bucket
to pour into hers, she's not coming around.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
Lindy has a few cats of her own, one of
which is older than cheese Puff, So it isn't that
she doesn't understand the love between a person and their
fur baby. Even the next day, it was radio silence
from her until the afternoon when she asked my family
how I was holding up. When I said I wasn't
really doing well, she sent me a thumbs up reaction

(53:57):
and then immediately began venting about related stuff that she
was going through.

Speaker 5 (54:03):
Uh, he was right doing it, is doing it.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
It is.

Speaker 3 (54:12):
His nose is approximately eight minutes in the future at
all times.

Speaker 1 (54:17):
Really is that would be wild. That is undeniably would
be wild. When I tried to explain how I was feeling,
how much I was missing cheese Puff, and how overwhelming
the hurt and grief was, she just sent me a
gift and a heart react. So modern day condolences.

Speaker 3 (54:37):
That's like, remember how they say, like the worst they
can say is no, Like that's the worst thing I
could have been sent in that moment, especially because this.

Speaker 5 (54:45):
Person has cats, so they understand.

Speaker 2 (54:49):
It's not like.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
They're just like, oh, I don't get it because whatever.

Speaker 3 (54:54):
Cheese puff, right, So it's just like, dude, after this,
never associating with you, don't call me, don't go by
my house.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
Also, let me know if you have a friend like
this or did in the chat right now. And then
Lindy goes to me for the rest of the day
until the next day, when she texted me about how
she was going to get a new cat and also
a salon makeover she was planning to have. Anytime I
tried to talk about how I was feeling, she would
either give me a token reply and then continue talking

(55:24):
about her own plans or issues, or just outright not
addressed what I had told her. I tried a few
times throughout that conversation until I eventually gave up trying
to see comfort from her. After that exchange, I just
stopped talking to her about anything related to my grief
since she was just showing no interest or empathy, in fact,
only making me feel more upset that I already was.

(55:46):
It was really hurtful how she was completely dismissing my
pain and made everything about her that eventually turned to
me no longer turning to her for any form of
emotional or mental support, as she didn't seem willing to
offer it to me. Something also happened in her personal
life such that I didn't want to add my personal

(56:07):
burdens to what she had to deal with. All that,
along with some other instances in the past and more
instances till now, has shown me this pattern of behavior
with her. She treats me like a sounding board all
of her problems, but doesn't reciprocate when I approach her
with mine. She'll come to me with struggles or unhappiness

(56:28):
regarding the inconvenience to me, but only dane to address
mine if she's available or filling up to it. Otherwise
she makes excuses or simply withdrawals from me with the discussion.

Speaker 3 (56:42):
One way, bucket, dude, one way only, one way, fill up,
filling up, feeling you're filling up my bugget.

Speaker 5 (56:49):
I'm not feeling up your bugget, my bucket, all this
belonging in my buget?

Speaker 1 (56:53):
Okay, you, Benny. How does a person engineer themselves to
become an energy vampire?

Speaker 3 (56:59):
I think a lot of accidentally, I feel like a
lot of the people who do this kind of thing
aren't acutely aware that it's what they're doing, Like they
might have a vague sense that, like, you know, they
don't do that for others, but they probably just write
it off in a way of like, oh, let's just I.

Speaker 1 (57:18):
Just don't do that.

Speaker 3 (57:19):
I just that's just not who I am. I'm more
of like a talker, not a listener. And then they
just are like, and that's fine. They don't understand how
much of a detriment it is to just always eat
someone else's crap. Yeah, even when you're going through it,
they come over and they're like, yeah, whatever, shut up. Anyways, Yeah,
so they totally scuffed my shoe and I got into

(57:41):
the elevator, and like basically from there, my whole day
just got worse and worse. And it's like, you know,
but I put my cat down, yet yesterday I put
my cat.

Speaker 5 (57:49):
You no, no, we'd shut up because I'm getting the best
part of the story.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
And it's like, what the heck?

Speaker 3 (57:55):
You have to be fully unaware because no one would
consciously live their life that way.

Speaker 1 (57:58):
Hope. He continues to my therapist about cheese puff incident,
and subsequently about the other instances. It's good, advised to
draw up boundaries to better protect my emotional mental health.
I have since then severely curtailed my deeper interactions with Lindy.
This person reads books. The boundaries are drawn, which everyone
relts respects, but Lindy often treats as if they don't

(58:21):
apply to her. She's a foreign The integram test, Wait
what you'll take the test? The ingram? Yeah, okay, I haven't.

Speaker 5 (58:29):
I think I've done that once.

Speaker 1 (58:30):
I can't remember. It's like the Christian version of like
the the gym ni astrology astrology stuff. Oh okay. Have
helped immensely, But at the same time, I often worry
that it's coming off as me icing her out, and
that I'm being unfair or mean to her by doing so. Dude,
what do you want do you want not to be

(58:50):
having a good friend or do you want this not
good friends? Like, yeah, you're icing around?

Speaker 5 (58:56):
I mean, yeah, you can tell her why. Yeah, So
I did have the thing close.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
This is this for me?

Speaker 3 (59:00):
It was like I had a buddy who would always
just like complain, where it's like we could be talking
about something great and then it's like, all of a sudden,
it's like about how something sucks, or it's like how
they don't like this or don't like that. And I
eventually told him, I was like, hey, we gotta can
you like, I really don't like how you do that.
You seem to do it like a lot, like almost
without knowing. And then he changed it and it improved

(59:23):
all that and more. I have left and said has
left me not wanting her to be part of the
bridal party for my next fall. Oh yeah, the broader
party thing.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
When we were younger, we talked about weddings and such,
swore to be each other's maids of honor. When it
came time, I no longer want her to be my
maid of honor. I don't even want her to be
a regular bridesmaids. I've already asked masks brother's wife to
be my maid of honor, and I've already asked two
close friends of ten to fifteen years to be my bridesmaids.

(59:52):
I no longer trust Lindy to be there for me,
to support me, prioritize me ahead of herself on a
day when I'm likely to be stressed out and in pain.
I have chronic pain issues and needed all the support
mentally and emotionally, but possibly physically as well as I
can get. I don't expect to have anything crazy bride

(01:00:12):
I don't expect to have any crazy Bridezilla demands, but
it's going to be a long and tiring day, and
I can't rely on someone I no longer trust who
might just peace out on me halfway through if she's
just not feeling it. Additionally, Lindy has her own chronic
conditions that do affect her stamina and energy levels. Even

(01:00:34):
if our friendship wasn't rocky, it would be unfair and
setting her up for failure to expect her to take
on that role, as it will start really early in
the morning and last easily sixteen hours or longer. I've
come up with the way for her to still be
a part of my wedding beyond just attending as a guest,
as I don't want her to fill left out or

(01:00:55):
that I'm deliberately shunning her. However, I worry that no
matter what alternatives I offer and how I make it work,
she'll be hurt by me not asking her to be
a bridesmaid. I've tried to best bride size her as
many aspects of my life. I kill the cheese book incident.
Even now, I still can't help but feel like I

(01:01:16):
owe it to our many years of friendship, show her
the favor to or to cut her some slack. I
don't know what to do regarding this whole bridesmaid's matter.
Do I go ahead with my alternative option, or do
I not have her involved at all beyond just being
a guest?

Speaker 5 (01:01:32):
Yeah, that one.

Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
My indecision is founded in a nagging feeling that maybe
I'm being too harsh on her. I would really appreciate
the advice on how to proceed with sensitivity and kindness.
Thank you all for taking the time and effort to
read this ridiculously long post. There's so much backstory and
so much more context. And there are many more incidents
that have happened in the past since losing my cat.

(01:01:54):
They've all added up to me making me feel this way,
and I do not want to make these decisions. I
only spoke to this about the main one, which she's
puff Oh Pie's.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Just just sweetie pin.

Speaker 5 (01:02:05):
Like, I feel like I'm being too harsh. Dude, she
literally ghosted you after your.

Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
Cat passed away.

Speaker 1 (01:02:11):
Yeah, that's not really a best friend. That's more of
a friend at that point. And people grow. I'm talking
to a friend right now where her and her girlfriend
that like, I've been like friends for years years she
they now have different interests and they're like, hey, like
she wants to go do this, but I kind of
want to go and do that, and they're not like
matching on that. I'm like, I know, it's really hard

(01:02:34):
because you guys have been like friends since like you know,
elementary school. People grow apart, and it sounds like emotionally
you guys are going apart, and just as marriage, I
feel like friendships, good friendships should be like equal yoke,
Like you want people around you that'll support you and
set you up for your best self. You don't want
people like taking that from you. Sometimes you can give

(01:02:55):
that and you can give energy to others. But if
like people are taking it from you where they're not
supporting you in their best with day, even on your
worst days, I should show you something. It should

All Episodes

My boyfriend DEMANDS gifts for his daughter… so I muted his notifications! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

24/7 News: The Latest

The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show

The Charlie Kirk Show

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My boyfriend DEMANDS gifts for his daughter… so I muted his notifications! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories