My boyfriend MOCKED a friend who didn’t go to college… I won’t tolerate it! | Reddit Stories | EP2262 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, Alyssa Sale and this is Joe. Welcome to the
Okay Storytime Podcast game show.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
The show where you can hear the greatest stories on
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Speaker 3 (00:18):
My boyfriend mocked a friend who didn't go to college.
I won't tolerate it.

Speaker 4 (00:23):
Not going to school is for losers.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
And it's back to School Week on Okay Storytime Podcast,
where we're cracking open the wildest campus tales from college
sweethearts to evil professors that'll make you question is my
student loan worth it? If you're new here and looking
for the story my boyfriend's professor is way too friendly
and now I'm seriously suspicious. Just click the link in

(00:46):
the show's notes and description, or search back to School Week,
Okay Storytime wherever you get your podcasts. Let's dive into
this one. So, my female twenty two boyfriend, Eric Mail
twenty three, graduated with the masters in the spring. Oh
big Man's got a master's and had a party to
celebrate in the summer. He's hoping to be a teacher

(01:09):
after attaining his master's degree, and I graduated with my
bachelor's recently. We've been dating for almost three years after
meeting in college. But when I stumbled upon something that
I brought to his attention, he made me out to
be the enemy.

Speaker 5 (01:24):
For being untrustworthy and not on his side.

Speaker 3 (01:27):
By the way, this comes from throw Away the Pye
this and if you want to submit your own stories,
good to the r slash okay story time, supparate it.
I'm Sophia, I'm.

Speaker 4 (01:36):
Riley, I'm Dakota, and I'm not eating lunch.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
Eric is involved in a few role play groups on
Twitter and has a few accounts that portray various media characters.
He's also into D and D, but writing stories for
the role play group is his hobby, and while I'm
not a part of the group, I follow the accounts
and sometimes keep up with his story lines. However, he
made an account that role played one of our friends,
an account that I wasn't supposed to to find but

(02:01):
ended up stumbling upon because one of his other accounts
followed him. Long story short, there was a guy named
Evan who was in his D and D group and
Evan would often invite his younger brother Todd to play along.
I played D and D with the group a few times,
and Todd would often help bring it to life by
drawing characters or whatever my boyfriend would imagine, and I
always thought it was cool. Evan came from a military

(02:23):
family where both of his parents served, but he went
to college. Todd wanted to serve following his high school graduation,
but Eric would try to convince him to go to
school instead and believe that an education would be better
in the long term. However, Todd still wanted to go
into the service upon graduation, so he would talk to
Evan to get him on his side, but Evan reinforced

(02:44):
that the choice is ultimately Todd's and that there are
benefits to both college and military, so neither of them
would be a bad choice. However, when an injury would
prevent him from being able to join the service, Eric
believed that he would opt for college like Evan, but
he decided to do an internship through a connection his
father had instead, and that would lead to what happened. Recently.

(03:08):
Eric made a Twitter account that impersonated Todd, but unlike
his role play accounts, he actually made it look like
Todd's actual account and used it to make fun of him.
And see this is that's now it's an issue.

Speaker 4 (03:21):
Called it called now it's an issue real quick to
Tom la as someone who did a crap tone of
role playing. It's always creeping when someone starts role playing
as an actual perse.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
I didn't realize that they were role playing as like
he was roleplaying as this actual person. I thought it
was just you know, they were playing together. But now
this is drawing a lot, like we need to draw
the line here because this is.

Speaker 4 (03:42):
This is too far. This is how you get rocks off.
This is how you get off at the end of
the day.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
Now you're just being a bully. He downloaded photos of
Todd and used them to make memes that degraded him
for not going to college, some calling himself stupid or
wanting hand me downs, to name a few. And he
also made posts about Evan and his family, which led
me to want to talk to him. When I told
him what I saw, I asked why he thought it
was appropriate to do that, to which he said that

(04:07):
everyone sucks up to military families and that they get
a pass for being our word and that Todd got
what he deserved with his injury. He also said that
they're poor enough to probably get free college and that
it proves he was right all along. I want to
deck this guy. But when I told him that I
couldn't believe what he was saying, he said, what do

(04:27):
you expect? And then he's going to be a teacher
who obviously prioritizes education. But he didn't stop there. He
also said that I was being inconsiderate because he is
ADHD and uses Twitter to vent his feelings. I am
terrified of the kids that this man will be teaching.

Speaker 4 (04:43):
Yeah, what's gonna happen to the kid that's the back
of that class that's sleeping and doesn't want to be
in your class? Are you going to make a Twitter
account about them too?

Speaker 5 (04:50):
I just I always hate people that are like I
have ADHD, and that's why I literally am awful. Yeah,
it's like you just suck.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
But I told him that that's not an excuse for
what he did and that he should take it down.
He refused and told me to mind my own business.
We argued before, but he's never told me off like
this until then, and said that venting on Twitter helps
him be a better person in real life because it
drains his frustration. When he talks to Evan at D
and D, he'll speak his opinion, but never as rudely

(05:18):
as I found on Twitter. He's still telling well, I
don't think that guy knows that he's been like cyberbuling
on Twitter.

Speaker 4 (05:24):
Yeah, how do you not have Twitter? Okay? This is
this is another thing? Yeah, I see on Instagram. You know,
John made it like a fake test account, and I
saw him like, oh, you should follow this. How do
you not be on Twitter? Notice that there's a fake
profile with you with your face on it and not
have it linked somehow because it's linked to your friend's
number or email? How does that not pop up?

Speaker 3 (05:44):
But finding this account was like finding a different side
of him. And after I found it, he became really
defensive and told me that he didn't want me to
follow his role play accounts. And you're not role playing,
you are being You're cyberbullying your friend accounts, quote multiple accounts,
So how many people are you cyberbowling? Do you have
one of op? But I've been reconsidering our relationship after

(06:05):
this because he thinks it's right and is still upset
at me while still making new posts. I'm considering breaking
things off, but I'm afraid that he do to me
after finding his new method of venting. At the same time,
I don't care if he does it to me, but
I want to ask if anyone's ever dealt with anything
similar and how to handle distancing from someone like him

(06:26):
who uses social media to do what he did just
break up with him? Like you said that, he went
to the accounts of Todd's family to get photos from
there too, and I'm afraid that he'll pester the accounts
of people close to me, which is why I'm also
thinking about safeguarding myself from that too. Aside from what
I'm thinking, is there anything else I should consider before
telling in my plans to make sure I'm safe?

Speaker 5 (06:47):
Why?

Speaker 3 (06:48):
I think that's fair? There is an update. It seems
like Ope wants to break up. She just wants to
make sure she does it safely, which I think is fair.

Speaker 4 (06:55):
If I was this woman, yeah, I would be going
through my head thinking mm hmm, have I sent him
something he could use against me?

Speaker 6 (07:03):
Mmm?

Speaker 4 (07:04):
Have I sent him anything that he could post about me?
I would do the thing. Sophia will probably not agree
with this, probably go on his phone, log into it
and delete everything so he doesn't have access to it.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
I actually don't disagree with that, Okay, I would. My
thing about going through phones is like it breaks the trust.
You already know that you want to break up with
this person, and now you're trying to think about like
protecting me, how do I protect myself? And so I
think at that point, I think it's fine if you
have anything that you need to delete, because people.

Speaker 4 (07:35):
On Twitter they go correct I had I can't with
Twitter update.

Speaker 3 (07:41):
After we talked that night, I planned to tell him
that I wanted a break, but I didn't want to
say it without preparing for him to potentially do the
same to me on Twitter. So after taking the advice
of a lot of people, I decided to tell my
family and relatives about how he had gone on a
rampage of downloading photos of Todd's family and relatives and
advised them to make their accounts private or block him,

(08:04):
and a lot of them were really thankful that I
told them. The main reason I did was because Eric
downloaded photos of miners who were related to Todd yikes,
and I didn't want him doing the same to my
family and making memes out of uninvolved people. I also
spoke to Evan and told Slash showed him what had happened. Yikes,

(08:25):
and he was really upset and said that he and
his parents were going to call the school Eric's interning
Slash subbing at and let them know of what he's
been doing, not only to Todd, but also to miners
in their family who he downloaded images of. Don't let
this man be a teacher.

Speaker 4 (08:41):
He's going to be the worst influence on kids. Oh yeah,
like agree with everything.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
I'm sorry if any of those kids have like dyslexia
or any other like learning, you know, things, he's going
to bully them. This man bullies everyone. He also said
that he and his parents went to the police to
address it. But as of writing, the account of Todd
that Eric made is still somehow up and not yet deleted.
And maybe it's because Eric made the account private after

(09:07):
our initial conversation, but I don't know. I gave them
all my screenshots, but as of now, nothing has happened.
Evan's parents also told Slash show the school what happened,
but he's still employed and subbing at the moment, and
Evan said that they were having a hard time proving
the account was Eric's, although they are still trying to
get it taken down. He also has relatives who are

(09:29):
complaining to the school too about photos Eric downloaded of
them and their children. But almost a month later and
nothing has happened yet. After talking to Evan and my family,
I told Eric that we were done, but he began
making posts about.

Speaker 4 (09:42):
Me, and there it is.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
We all knew that was coming on one of his
role playing accounts, and now I was apparently cheating on
him and trying to start rumors, and I screenshotted what
he posted, but still nothing has happened. He also started
posting about some prescriptions I've taken that I never told
anyone besides family, but my relatives have been supportive throughout,

(10:06):
but I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt.
He's also started posting memes about me too, and I
have a record of all of it, and I'm hoping
that with time and all the people and relatives reporting
that something can happen soon. But I'm slightly surprised nothing
has happened yet. I mean, yeah, you guys have so
much information on this Lastly, I want to say that
this whole thing has shown aside of him that I've

(10:26):
never really seen before. Like we've argued, but stumbling across
this account and what he uses to vent and cope
with ADHD just made him so aggressive because he said
that it was as if I was removing an inhaler
from someone who needs it.

Speaker 4 (10:43):
You are the worst.

Speaker 3 (10:45):
I'm sorry you're comparing Twitter to inhaler.

Speaker 4 (10:48):
You will need Twitter.

Speaker 5 (10:49):
To breathe can someone say chronically online.

Speaker 4 (10:52):
You were the worst example to your community of ADHD
family because you're saying you need this in order to
to get on with your life, Like, do you see
what you're doing? No? He cannot.

Speaker 3 (11:04):
When we talked to that night and he got so defensive.
That's when he compared it to me making fun of
people with special needs, as he's also posted about that.
And that's where I am now. I feel like I've
done almost as much as I can and waiting is hard.
So if anyone has any advice on how to push
through this time with an ex who's trying to destroy everyone,

(11:26):
I know, I would really appreciate it, but it's hard
right now. And I'll end with this, but actually that
is not the way that OPI ended it.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
There is a little bit more good good. Honestly, I'm
glad this happened. I'm glad all of this happened because
this lets us know that he cannot be around kids
and teach kids how to do stuff. Yep, all screen
like the love of the education that he has. If
he loves education this much, he would understand and he

(11:55):
would probably educate himself on how other people not going
to school has actually been to society in some ways
and shapes and forms. This is the lack of education.
I don't believe this guy. I don't think he even
likes education. I don't think so either. I think he
has this like very elitist view.

Speaker 3 (12:12):
He's like, I'm so smart, I've got a college degree,
and I'm going to teach the youths. But I don't
actually think he has the passion. He's also gone about
posting images of me too, but nothing explicit, as we've
never taken those. However, he started posting photos of me
when I was in high school and in dance and
making degrading comments about my body, and I've taken screenshots
of those to the police too, as I'm still waiting

(12:34):
to see what happened. I've been told that it can
be a process, but that is hurt the most and
is what I'm trying to push through. And if anyone
has any advice on how to just get past a
toxic X who goes to such measures, I would really
appreciate it because right now is really hard. I'm hoping
something happens soon, but maybe it's just a process. But

(12:55):
I could just use all of the advice I can get,
and folks, that's the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
I want to leave my wife, but she just gave
birth to our son.

Speaker 7 (13:07):
Bad timing. Become a debbie, dad, do it right now?
I dare you? My thirty four male wife thirty two
female and I have been married for seven years. She
admitted to me that she had multiple affairs over the
last four years of our marriage.

Speaker 5 (13:20):
Oh oh no, Well, maybe it's a better time than
I thought.

Speaker 7 (13:26):
Her last affair ended a year ago. She begged for
us to go to therapy to work on our marriage,
but I.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
Refused to go. By the way, this comes from Velvet
Chartruse and if you want to submit your early stories,
go to the arslash Oki storytime subreddits. During this time
I had moved out of the house. Occasionally I would
go back to take care of the house and animals,
and she would constantly try to manipulate me into coming back.
I had every intention of getting a divorce, but the
process is slow. I hated the betrayal I felt, but

(13:54):
I also missed my wife. During the separation, one thing
led to another. We had spicy and wouldn't you know,
she got pregnant.

Speaker 5 (14:03):
That is the order of operations for getting pregnant. That's
how it happens. Oh boy.

Speaker 7 (14:09):
Well, shortly after the news came out, I had to
leave for work about twelve hours away from her. She
would call to give me updates about the pregnancy and
talk about our marriage. We were separated for a majority
of her pregnancy. I told her that I still wanted
a divorce, but I would consider reconciling after the baby
was born. After several months away from her, I came

(14:29):
to the realization that I could not trust her nor
forgive her for the infidelity. I feel like the last
seven years of my life have been a lie.

Speaker 5 (14:39):
Yeah, dude, that's tough, pretty hard to come back from that.

Speaker 7 (14:42):
While I was away from her, I met someone and
a relationship blossomed between us.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
So I truly feel like I love this one.

Speaker 7 (14:49):
She has been made aware that I am still married
and that I have a baby on the way. My
wife is not aware of my new girlfriend. Fast forward
to a month ago, I had to go home for
the birth of our baby boy. My wife has been
pressuring me to reconcile, but I told her that I
plan to divorce her again after the birth of our
baby boy. She has been blaming me for ruining our

(15:11):
family because I don't want to stay with her and try.

Speaker 5 (15:13):
To fix our marriage.

Speaker 7 (15:15):
I think you might have ruined the family when you
had multiple affairs over four years.

Speaker 5 (15:21):
You should go give family applications to all the men
you cheated on me with and see if they're down
to maybe you know.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
I think like this idea.

Speaker 7 (15:30):
I want to have a co parenting relationship with my wife,
but she is acting very erratic while I'm still here
for our son. Am I the a hole for wanting
to leave my wife? Any advice on how to deal
with this is appreciated and a quick edit. Thank you
for all the mixed reviews. It was expected. I will
be talking to a lawyer and will update once I
have a chance to talk to one appreciate the sound

(15:51):
advice as well. We have some relevant comments and an
update coming up on the Horizon. But ladies and gentlemen,
before we get into that, I have to talk to
my esteemed co hosts and handsome man Dakota the man Pain,
he says, I'm pretty Dakota is op the a hole

(16:12):
for wanting to leave the mother of his newborn child.

Speaker 5 (16:17):
No, but you are for like having hooked up with her, Like,
what are you doing? That's so messy? Like you knew
what you were doing. Yeah, I do have known what
you're doing. Now you miss your wife, you're separated, and
blah blah blah blah blah.

Speaker 7 (16:28):
But I do feel for him, you know, it's like
he's he's just found out this is the last seven years,
uh were you know, kind of a toss and he's
probably feeling lonely and all these things.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
And while I understand it was definitely not the move.

Speaker 5 (16:46):
Ooh, start with the paternity test though, yes.

Speaker 4 (16:49):
Yes, because I don't know if he's yours.

Speaker 5 (16:52):
He could be, it could be it'd be great, right, yeah, horrible.
I don't know whichever.

Speaker 4 (16:58):
That's up to y'all.

Speaker 5 (16:59):
To feel, but uh, it prioritized the life of the child.

Speaker 7 (17:05):
Moving forward, We got some relevant comments in an update.
Bep DHC says, info, are you sure this baby's yours?
Op says the baby's mine. Okay, we don't know what
that means, but okay. Extra Camera thirty six to eighty
five says, get a paternity test to ensure see a lawyer.
Take your time with someone who is involved with a
married man expecting a baby and is okay with it.

(17:29):
That's probably also good advice. Jitario says, everyone sucks here.
Your wife sucks for cheating on you repeatedly for four years.
That's a serious betrayal, and it's understandable that you'd feel
like the entire marriage was a lie.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
But you're not innocent. It's either here we go.

Speaker 7 (17:45):
You're you were emotionally and physically indecisive for months, which
gave her mixed signals. You told her you wanted a divorce,
but kept showing up, had unprotected spicy sleep resulting in
a baby, and continued. I think, honestly, yes, sleeping together
was a mistake. Not using protection to meet that was
the like real you know, it's kind of like a

(18:06):
one eye open situation, the ultimate oops, the ultimate oopsy dude,
and continued entertaining her hopes of reconciliation even while emotionally
checking out. You even said you'd consider reconciling after the
baby was born. That's a huge breadcrumb to someone already
trying to save a relationship. Then, instead of clarifying things,
you started a new relationship while still married, didn't tell

(18:28):
your wife about it, and are still hiding it from
her now that the baby is born. That's not just messy,
it's dishonest. You're fully within your right to leave the marriage.
Infidelity is a deal breaker for many, but your execution
has been cowardly and passive.

Speaker 5 (18:40):
You didn't set.

Speaker 7 (18:40):
Clear boundaries, didn't communicate with honesty, and avoided taking firm
action when it mattered most, And now you're reaping the
chaos that comes from that. My advice divorce her now,
No more delays, no more maybes. Tell her about your
new relationship, not to rub it in, but because she
deserves clarity. She's parenting with you and should understand the
new dynamic and lawyer up and establish a formal custody

(19:02):
and support and support agreements. Don't leave us don't leave
us up to emotional negotiations. Stop playing emotional games with
her and yourself. You're not the victim anymore, your participant
in this mess. Get man, they just keep going. Get therapy,
not for reconciliation, but for you to process the betrayal,
learn better communication boundaries, and avoid repeating this kind of

(19:23):
a mess in the future. You're not the a hole
for wanting to leave, but you are the ahole for
how you handled it.

Speaker 5 (19:29):
We have an update. I think a lot of that
lays on the presumption that this is taking place in
the United States, because I think that is it's like
you could just like leaven divorce like relatively quickly, but
there are as we've read, like several places where it's
actually not that easy to just get divorced, Like there's
a whole process that goes through it where you have
to like still live with somebody for a certain amount

(19:50):
of time or live away from somebody for a certain
amount of time, and then like it can officially go
through like after a piod of separation. Yeah, so it's
totally relative. But I do think that the rest of
that was pretty Jews like pretty yeah, it's you should
be like Hey, I'm actually like with someone else.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
We have an update. Here we go.

Speaker 7 (20:09):
Who thank you to all those who did not think
I was the a hole here. It's been a tough
two years. Here's how it went down. I took a
paternity test. Okay, and my son is confirmed.

Speaker 5 (20:23):
To be mine. Okay, Okay, we have the exercise. There
we go, there we go.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
Okay.

Speaker 7 (20:28):
I have filed for the divorce, but the state in
which I live is very conservative and and a and
has a waiting period before it can be finalized to
Dakotas point from earlier, the divorce was filed as uncontested,
and I will be paying child support while also staying
in his life. I am selling her house and she
is moving to a state close by where my son will.

Speaker 5 (20:48):
Only be a couple of hours away.

Speaker 7 (20:50):
This option also makes her closer to family custody arrangements
will be updated once she has moved. This has been
hard emotionally because she has blamed me for rooms our
chance as a family and our son's future. It feels manipulative.
Since I no longer want to be with her and
I've taken care of her our entire marriage, I would
agree my wife still does not know about my girlfriend

(21:12):
at the request of my girlfriend. As much as I
want to integrate my girlfriend, this will take time to do,
and I also felt like my wife doesn't have to
know about her until everything is settled.

Speaker 5 (21:23):
And the divorce is finalized.

Speaker 7 (21:25):
It's been difficult for me being away from my son,
but I do get to see him every day. Okay,
I was there for his birth and three weeks afterwards.
I will be taking time to leave again to spend
more time with my son, take care of the house,
the divorce, and to help her and my son get moved.
I'm glad this marriage is ending, and while it's tough
right now with my son, the mutual goal is to

(21:47):
have a co parenting relationship. Despite the things my wife
has said and her wanting to continue the marriage, I
feel my son will be better off knowing what an
actual loving relationship is.

Speaker 5 (21:57):
I do agree.

Speaker 7 (21:59):
My girlfriend has been very supportive of me, and I'm
ready to move on in my life with her. Trying
to get any Trying to get any help or legal
advice in the state we got married has been a
nightmare and has been overall negative to the choice I
have already made. The marriage is gone but I will
be in my son's life. I do not agree with
the empty values there.

Speaker 5 (22:20):
Any advice on.

Speaker 7 (22:21):
How to ensure a healthy co parenting relationship without a
lawyer is needed.

Speaker 5 (22:25):
Thank you all again. Well we got some relevant comments.

Speaker 7 (22:28):
Tsunami surve for thirty five that sound dangerous, says not
the ahle, but you should not have slept with your
wife that last time without protection. This made everything more
complicated by giving her leverage.

Speaker 5 (22:40):
Dude, that was a comment from Captain Hindsight, right there.

Speaker 2 (22:43):
Captain Hindsight.

Speaker 7 (22:44):
Yeah, spirited AD sixty one to forty four says, why
would you have a kid knowing she was an ahole
and that you weren't sure you were fitting back together?

Speaker 5 (22:53):
Poor child?

Speaker 7 (22:54):
Imagine snap Dragon says, and now he wants to integrate
his new girlfriend, which I can only guess means bring
her in as a third parent. These people had no
business making a child. Yeah, they were not ready, All right,
buys and girls. So update number two. My wife was
served with the voice papers and hired a lawyer. Despite
us agreeing on fifty to fifty division on marital assets,

(23:15):
child support, and limited alimony, she told me that because
I was leaving her, she wanted to make sure things
were done fairly. She advised me to not get my
own lawyer since we already agreed on stuff, but I
got one to represent me anyways.

Speaker 5 (23:30):
Thank god. Good is exactly what we were talking about.
She's getting a lawyer and trying to actively tell you
you don't need one.

Speaker 7 (23:38):
Hey, I think you should not get a lawyer so
I can just like set all the terms and legally
like slide everything.

Speaker 5 (23:43):
Out of the freaking no. Yeah, don't worry, it's our lawyer. No, no,
no, no no.

Speaker 7 (23:48):
I have recently seen my son again, despite her efforts
to keep me away from him. She has told me
that she doesn't want to see me. After expressing how
unfair that is, she agreed to coordinate with me to
see him.

Speaker 5 (23:59):
I told her that.

Speaker 7 (24:00):
I've been seeing someone, and she said that she suspected
it during our separation, but that it didn't matter. She
doesn't care that I love my new partner.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
She believes we.

Speaker 7 (24:08):
Can still recover the marriage, even though I have moved on.
I do not understand how she thinks this after her
cheating throughout our marriage and me finding someone new. I
told her I am upset and that she can't take
accountability for the breakdown of the marriage, hurting me and
our son. I explained to her why it wouldn't be
a good idea to stay together if she truly thinks

(24:30):
I cheated on her. She is only concerned with herself
in the life that I provided to her, instead of
caring about our son. She destroyed the last seven years
of my life with her and distorted how I saw myself.
I tried to get over her infidelity the first time.
It was a mistake and was something we could work through.

(24:50):
I'm not willing to give her a third or fourth chance.
I want to resolve, but every time the issue comes up,
she says something that feels manipulative. Some comments. Peace loving
sister says, the only thing you and you're soon to
be ex wife should be discussing is the care of
your son.

Speaker 5 (25:07):
Bo.

Speaker 7 (25:07):
By engaging with her, you are setting yourself up to
be manipulated and trapped, just as you were trapped by
the pregnancy. Sorry to have to say this, but you
were really stupid to get yourself into that position. Pun
intended that position.

Speaker 5 (25:20):
Yeah, that pregnancy position. Yep.

Speaker 7 (25:24):
Ever heard of wiener rappers? No, that's our word for
you know, what.

Speaker 5 (25:31):
Just a pack of hot dogs.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
Exactly.

Speaker 7 (25:35):
You knew this woman had been with other men, yet
you had unprotected spices sleep with her.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
Yes, that was stupid, So.

Speaker 7 (25:42):
You are not without blame for those seven years and
in fact, all of the rest of your child's life.
The fact that you would even ask whether you're the
a hole for wanting to leave reveals your very problem
with the logic and common sense. Casual Yash twenty eighty
eight says, I could honestly understand and how she could
manipulate you into discussing other things with you. But I'm

(26:05):
still not trusting you fully on this, as you were
stupid enough to make a baby with her after knowing
that she cheated. Well, now the lawyers are involved, I
think you should ask your lawyer to communicate with her
for you, with the pretext that it would be easier
in your divorce, so that she won't be the problem
with it, So that she won't have a problem with this.

(26:27):
I would suggest you not to help her move as
it can be very well used against you in court
if she plans to make a false case against you.

Speaker 5 (26:35):
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 7 (26:36):
Uh, And it would be set up, and it would
set up a wrong example for the future where she
will always expect you to help her move My dirty
A seventy nine says she cheats repeatedly, gets a lawyer
and then says you shouldn't get one.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
That's hilarious. Good luck man and sloke.

Speaker 5 (26:53):
Oh to Bide says, oh, be get a lawyer.

Speaker 7 (26:58):
Prima Diamond says you're all the ahole or you're the
a hole for not divorcing before all of this culminated
as a Divorceay, it really isn't that hard to file
if you have intentions of moving on. Bear prior to
Tenity fives ten fifty eight says not the ahole, foolish,
but maybe not the a hole. Please listen to your
lawyer and have everything in writing. This is going to

(27:19):
define how and when you can interact with your son,
communicate with your soon to be x via text. So
some mixed reactions, a lot of people calling OPI the
a whole. I think you know what, I think everyone
made some sort of a whole move here. Everyone made
some sort of mistake here, like it's it's it's a
bit of an everyone sucks here. Everyone sucks at different levels.
Takes two to tango you both made mistakes to get

(27:40):
to Yeah.

Speaker 5 (27:42):
Everyone sucks.

Speaker 7 (27:43):
Everyone's a little bit. Everyone sucks at least a little bit.
John here og host. We're gonna get back to these stories,
but a quick.

Speaker 5 (27:50):
Three minute break from has from our sponsors. My husband's
been taking inappropriate photos. I feel like I don't know him.

Speaker 2 (27:57):
Ooh, that's right.

Speaker 5 (28:00):
My husband, Toby and I met in twenty eighteen and
we were twenty seven. We were only dating for a
couple months when he moved in. He was great, so sweet, thoughtful, helpful, kind,
and I fell in love hard. We got engaged after
only seven months. We did the whole when you know,
you know, justification and anyways, hindsight is always twenty twenty.

(28:22):
By the way, this comes from user Important Fail seventy
eight fifty seven and if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the r slash showcase story time subready.
So we got married near our one year together anniversary
in twenty nineteen. It was only two months in when
I got pregnant with our daughters Susie.

Speaker 4 (28:39):
Oh.

Speaker 5 (28:40):
We moved in with my parents to save money and
luckily we did as the world shut down. When I
was six months pregnant, I had to have a C section,
and this is important for later due to that time
in history. When I was on maternity leave, Toby was
also off work. We spent the entire first year of
Susie's life off together every day. When she was about

(29:03):
six months old, we moved into the townhouse I'm still in.
That's when the bickering started. Little things would set him
off and I started walking on eggshells. We would fight
over money, personal time, division of housework, parenting, everything. I
chalked it up to being around each other every day
all day. When I went back to work, I started

(29:25):
a new job and excelled at it. I started making
a lot more money and quickly became the bread winner.
I got him a job where I worked, and he
slacked off and changed jobs after six months. I hadn't
noticed that he frequently changed jobs every six to nine
months until much later. We were more like roommates at
this point, miserable roommates who slept in the same bed.

(29:45):
He frequently demanded alone time, and I was happy to
oblige because he was always so miserable to us. It
gave my daughter and me time to be able to
be ourselves. We by a miracle because it was only
once in five months. Got pregnant with with my son
Frank in early twenty twenty two. You're very fertile. During
my pregnancy, I had a lot of issues. My body

(30:09):
was not doing well with pregnancy. We fought constantly, and
the stress was so bad that I had to go
on sick leave a month before my du date. It
was at the point that I could barely sit at
a hard time standing, could hardly walk, and laying down
was agony. He was more helpful than before, but he
would frequently guilt trip me and make me feel like
I owed him and should worship him for doing everything

(30:29):
for me. I had my second sea section at the
beginning of twenty twenty three, ten days after I had Frank.

Speaker 4 (30:34):
Toby was yelling at me.

Speaker 5 (30:36):
I have a recording that I no longer have an
excuse because I'm no longer pregnant and I need to
get off of my booty and contribute to the house
to clean, cook and do laundry. I started recording all
of his tangents because he would gaslight me that he
didn't say that I didn't hear him right, and I'm crazy.
Oh god, gross, yep. Money was tight. While I was

(30:56):
on maternity leave. He had switched jobs and worked from home,
constantly telling me I was lazy because I wouldn't do
anything but take care of Frank and Susie. My postpartum
depression was so bad. The intrusive thoughts were bad and intense,
and looking back, he made it so much worse. I
put Susie in daycare so I could manage Frank easier.

(31:17):
A year that was supposed to be magical and beautiful
was miserable, and I hated it. He was cruel and
rude all of the time. I ended up going back
to work four months early, hoping that making more money
would lessen our fights, because that must be what's causing
our issues. I see you. It's not call line. I
see you. He's mad that you make all so much money.

(31:40):
Hem is so mad that you make the money, and paradoxically,
we'll do nothing to make.

Speaker 4 (31:45):
More of his own.

Speaker 5 (31:47):
I always justified his behavior, and this is when things
get messed up. Timeline is important on this, so I'm
going to do my best to keep the info organized
it gets messy. October twenty twenty three, I went back
to work. We fought a lot, and he avoided hanging
out with us on the weekends. He had another new
job at this point, working in a family arcade place.

(32:09):
This is important. Oh, we happily avoided him on the weekends.
It was more stressful if he was around anyways. End
of November twenty twenty three, I had ordered us a
shed and checked the security cameras frequently to see when
it arrived so I could run home and move it
to the backyard to avoid it getting stolen. One day,
I looked on the camera and Toby's car was home.

(32:29):
Weird because he left when I did and he dropped
Susie in Franket daycare. Okay, I got the app notification
confirming that I called and texted him and got no answers.
I got worried. I got off work and got the
kids and rushed home and he was making dinner. I
asked him about being home, and he told me he
went to work and they said he deserved the day off.

(32:50):
That evening, his brother, sister in law and their baby
came to stay for the weekend. I couldn't shake the
feeling he had lied to me. The next morning, I
called my mom when I ran to get everyone's coffee.
She said to trust my gut and to check the
cameras for timestamps on the other days. Well I did.
He didn't go to work that entire week. The timing

(33:11):
wasn't going to work and coming home. It was dropping
the kids and coming straight home every single day that week.
I got back to the house with coffee and was fuming.
I asked him to come outside and chat. I asked him,
He lied, I called him out. He lied again and again.
Finally he ended it with me being the reason he

(33:33):
needed some time alone and didn't tell me because I
would react like this to him taking time off work.
This time his gas lighting didn't work on me though. Yes,
trust was broken and it had to be repaired. His
brother and family left that day, and the next day,
my kids and I went out shopping with my mom,

(33:53):
giving Toby some space. Now December twenty twenty three. On
our way to her house, I really I forgot something
at home, and so we stopped and I ran in.
Toby wasn't downstairs, but the baby gate was up. Odd
because I have the babies. I go upstairs and the
top baby gate is closed.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
Also odd.

Speaker 5 (34:13):
Then I noticed rolled towels at the bottom of our
bedroom door. I was once a teenager. I know how
to stop a certain smell from moving to other rooms.

Speaker 4 (34:23):
I opened the door and.

Speaker 5 (34:25):
He was standing at the end of our bed wearing
a VR headset, smoking the Devil's lettuce in our room
where we and our baby's sleep. So the Devil's lettuce
is not illegal here. But I lost it, not because
he was smoking it, but because he didn't do it
outside and chose to breathe it all over our baby's beds.
Much much after this happened, my friends pointed out what

(34:45):
else he could be doing. My best guess is watching
VR corn and the shock he had was because he
thought that was what I would be mad about. Anyway,
back to the storyline, I was mad. I left and
told him as much. The and I went to my
mom's for dinner. And when I came home that evening,
he had moved all of his stuff into his office
and locked himself in. Turns out, he created a whole

(35:08):
room for himself. It had a twin bed set up,
went through the whole house and put everything he felt
was his into the room and locked the door whether
he was in there or not. After two days I
asked him, and he said, our marriage was over.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
Babe. You did this, You allowed this to happen.

Speaker 5 (35:24):
You did this to us. Over the next month, he
would have violent and terrifying outbursts. He wouldn't help with
the kids. He'd lock himself in the room. He'd take
food and eat him there. There were no dishes left downstairs,
and a smell was coming from the room.

Speaker 8 (35:38):
Ugh.

Speaker 5 (35:39):
I called his brother and he came from the island
an island and convinced Toby he needed to take a
vacation and go stay with them for a week. This
was my idea to get him away from the kids
and me. I had never been afraid, but was now
and needed him out. My mom and I got into
the room and it was disgusting. We cleaned it up
while he was gone. His brother had him call me

(36:00):
daily and he was sweet and kind and apologized and
said he wanted to make our marriage work.

Speaker 4 (36:04):
No, I agreed he could come home.

Speaker 5 (36:07):
It was all live. It was actually worse. It was
worse when he came home. Oh. No, I have audio
recordings of him screaming and yelling. I won't get into
detail because most of it is a part of our
court stuff. Now now I'm gonna skip on over to
Christmas Eve, he went to work. I was sick of
him locking himself in his room. I changed all of

(36:28):
the locking doorknobs to non locking ones because our daughter
spent an hour crying outside his door while he ignored her.
I had decided he wasn't a tenant anymore and he
needed to contribute to parenting and everything else or leave
the kids. And I went to my mom's for Christmas
Eve and Toby got off work. I knew because that's
when the phone calls came. He screamed, screamed at me

(36:48):
that I would regret removing his lock, that I don't
deserve privacy, that he needs it, and I need to
stay out of his room. He said he went and
got a lock, and that I can do the whole
magic of Christmas by my shelf, and I'd be lucky
if I ever saw him outside that room again. Needless
to say, I was flappergasted. I went home and snuck

(37:08):
out all the presents for the kids, got us clothes
and what we needed, and the kids and I spent
the night at my parents' house and did Christmas morning there.
I had texted him informing him and said he could
come if he didn't start a fight. Anyways. He ended
up moving out December twenty eighth and stayed with his
brother for a few weeks while he looked for a
place January through July of twenty twenty four. I essentially

(37:30):
forced him to spend time with our kids. I had
gone to court without him. He didn't reply to being served.
It's a thing that because he didn't bother doing paperwork,
he didn't get to go. I got a really good
order from the judge, which included a conduct order because
I showed her texts and videos he sent meant for
the kids bad mouthing me. Now, this is where it
truly goes off the rails. Oh, we've been on the

(37:52):
rails this whole time. This is literally the scene from
Bridge over the River Kwai where they blow it up
and the train falls in the river. That's been the
whole story. Train in the river. But I'm afraid.

Speaker 4 (38:05):
Here we go.

Speaker 5 (38:06):
I'm afraid.

Speaker 7 (38:07):
Okay, let's let's dive this little train back to the future.

Speaker 4 (38:10):
Three.

Speaker 5 (38:10):
The planes flying through the sky. Now, not the plane,
the train. The train is taken off. Lordy, Lordie July
twenty twenty four. We had been getting along quite well
for a few weeks and he invited me to go
with him and the kids to visit his family on
the island. I went to the island. It didn't go great,
and we fought, and without going into detail, he broke

(38:32):
the conduct order by calling me horrible things in front
of our kids. They put in an application for enforcement
for the conduct order and had him served. Meanwhile, I
had found my old tablet while cleaning up the house
to turn Toby's old office into a room for Frank.
I charged it up and turned it on. Toby's Gmail
was logged in. I got nosy and noticed there were

(38:53):
current photos. I scrolled and scrolled, and what I found
made me rage and pause here really quick because I
just remembered they so did I. What could this possibly be?

Speaker 7 (39:05):
We need to actually legitimately have this man in the
jail cell and go beck over his actions and realize
the painous things he's already done, even up until this moment, horrendous.
He needs to be in the box and think in
the box and understand what he's done wrong.

Speaker 5 (39:26):
He's the man in the box. They were a photo
so many photos, some of his junk while we were married.
You only really take those to send to people, and
he sure wasn't sending into me photos of him, photos
of his bottom, photos of him in women's underwear. M

(39:49):
so many photos.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
Using some toys.

Speaker 5 (39:54):
Were the body, but none of those sent me into
my rage. It was the photos of his sister in
law while holding his brother's hand and her baby, of
her rear end, zoomed in and cropped in.

Speaker 4 (40:10):
Some photos.

Speaker 5 (40:11):
Oh eoh, there were some of our daughter's soccer coach.
There was our cleaner, my tattoo artist. Some patrons of
the ARCADI worked at all of their rear ends, and
all from January of twenty twenty three when I had
our son until current. I documented it and moved on.
I don't know if that's a man in the box scenario.

(40:31):
I feel like that's a crime. It feels crimish to me.
I agree, feels pretty crimy. Yeah, crime and grimey. If
it's not should be. And he can crime a river
when he gets sent to the box. Boo doo doo, doo,
doo doo doo doo. I had a tattoo appointment with
my friend who was in the photos Later that week,

(40:52):
I told her about them and we laughed. Grows but whatever.
Right then her husband laughed and suggested he posted them
on some public but reddit for him, and I should
check the reddit on the tablet. Well, folks, if you're
still here, I apologize for the length and thank you
for sticking it out, because it's all honestly needed to
get off my chest. Here's the thing. I didn't see

(41:12):
any of the photos I had found. Instead, I found
candid photos he took of my mother in her house,
oh four years ago, of her face and cleavage. Ooh.
They had titles that still make my body shake with rage. Hmm, okay,
I'm just gonna skip them. Yep, I'd be very upset.

(41:35):
This is teeth through the back of the head territory.
I documented and deleted them, but man, I was angry.
I confronted him via text, and his response was, how
did you find these?

Speaker 4 (41:46):
Where did you get these?

Speaker 2 (41:47):
I feel so exposed.

Speaker 5 (41:49):
A few times since I found them, he tried to
tell me they didn't exist.

Speaker 4 (41:53):
They do.

Speaker 5 (41:54):
I have them in a secure folder on my phone,
and my lawyer has them in case the divorce goes sideways.
There we go. I never got an explanation about any
of the photos, and I likely never will. I'm sure
he cheated on me, but at this point would it
even matter? Where do we think the path forward here?

Speaker 9 (42:08):
Oh, this guy is so slimy and the things that
he has done are very very heinous, very very creepy.

Speaker 2 (42:23):
We need to.

Speaker 7 (42:26):
My ideal dream scenario. We get him as far away
from the family as possible, and we siphon all of
the pennies he has for the kids to pay for
his crimes of creepiness.

Speaker 5 (42:43):
Indeed, indeed, and that's about it.

Speaker 7 (42:46):
And get like he was able to stay there and
he was already doing all this stuff. It's like and
I get it. I guess op was like trying to
be kind, empathetic. This is the father of her children.
I understand why she would maybe be more forgiving and
give him these chances, but he does not deserve them.

Speaker 5 (43:06):
At this point, when.

Speaker 7 (43:07):
We get to these kind of territories, it's not necessary
the children are involved.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
You just deserve your piece, point blank, period. Get that.
Protect the children, get them in the best situation possible.
See if we can get any of.

Speaker 7 (43:23):
His two pennies he's rubbing together to help the children
and everything, and then that's it.

Speaker 4 (43:29):
Over the next few months, he.

Speaker 5 (43:30):
Would continue our custody battle with me trying to organize
and get things sorted in him ignoring me and weaponizing incompetence.
I have filed for divorce. I currently have the kids
ninety nine percent because his schedule doesn't work to have them,
and moving in with his girlfriend and changing jobs for
the third time since we split has made it hard
for him to give them time. This guy's got to

(43:50):
go crazy. Ace guy's got a go friend. I plan
on moving on with my life with the nicest guy
I've ever met, who adores my kids and wants them around.
However much we can court is but I'm confident because
Toby has.

Speaker 4 (44:02):
Made it clear where his priorities are.

Speaker 5 (44:03):
He doesn't pay a child supports still, but there's a
government program to enforce, so I don't have to chase him.
Nice I don't really have to even deal with him
at this point because the parenting time we have in
writing doesn't work for him, so he has to request
taking them, which I would never prevent. But he simply
doesn't try to see them, and I'm done forcing it. Yep.
Sounds like a deadbeat dad, I don't know. On the

(44:25):
sound of that room, sounds like he regrets to the
state of an actual teenager.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
You know, that was that was his goal and dream.

Speaker 10 (44:32):
He's like, yeah, I've got my like little girlfriend and
then can smoke my stuff and then I can play
the VR the VR games. Yeah and yeah, and I'm
happy I have no job.

Speaker 4 (44:49):
Yeah, dude, like.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
He got, he won.

Speaker 5 (44:52):
You can't get exact dream of a fourteen year old boy. Like.

Speaker 7 (44:56):
That's got to change our dreams, budd he is, and
that's that's where he's atta.

Speaker 5 (45:03):
Gotta let our dreams ebb and flow as we move
through life. We've got to lock.

Speaker 7 (45:07):
In in at fourteen and not DEVI eight one freakin'
millimeter wait, locked.

Speaker 5 (45:12):
In at fourteen unemployed gamer for the rest of my life.
Go yeah, oh brother, yup.

Speaker 4 (45:23):
Well that's the end of that story, folks.

Speaker 7 (45:27):
My wife refuses intimacy with me, so I started looking
for attention elsewhere.

Speaker 4 (45:32):
We're over there, who's over here?

Speaker 5 (45:35):
You sure about that? So a little backstory.

Speaker 7 (45:38):
My thirty four male wife thirty one female and I
have been together for five years and married for three.
The past two years have been pretty stressful for her
for her and me as she was finishing up Masters
in a really competitive program. By the way, this comes
from Throwaway seven eight seven seven sixty six and if
you want some ear own story, go to the r
slash Okay storytime Separate. So the last year of the

(45:58):
program was last year, and it was and it really
pushed her heart. During that time, our time in the
bedroom dwindled away to nothing, as she was always either
studying or in class when you should have been studying
dead ass.

Speaker 5 (46:15):
She should have been studying each other's bodies.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
Oh god. She finished the Masters June of last year.

Speaker 7 (46:23):
I was expecting that things would pick back up in
the bedroom again after it was over, but it hasn't.
She still turned me down all the time, stressing about
finding a job. It's to the point where the last
time we had spicy sleep was April of twenty eighteen.
Every time I tried initiating or doing a date night
or being romantic, it always ends up with her being

(46:44):
too tired. I even told her I'd settle for dirty
talk every once in a while, but she didn't feel
like doing that either. I suggested we go to counseling.
She said that she would find a counselor she liked.
I waited, asked again, she called me selfish.

Speaker 5 (47:00):
I gave up.

Speaker 2 (47:01):
I lost my mind for the first couple of months,
and then I decided to focus on myself and start
working out and keep doing my own thing.

Speaker 6 (47:09):
By the way, John, this is from six years ago.
Six years ago, so twenty nineteen, twenty nine.

Speaker 7 (47:14):
Okay, so it had been like a maybe a year
or less roughly since they had done a hanky painting.

Speaker 4 (47:21):
I don't know, man, it feels like your wife doesn't
like you.

Speaker 7 (47:25):
Before the lack of spicy sleep thing, we had a
pretty good relationship, but now it's gotten to be more
like roommates than husband slash wife. Fast forward to this
past weekend. We went out to watch the Super Bowl
with another couple who are good friends of ours. While
we're at the sports bar, we met and started hanging
out with a random group of people also watching the game.
A very attractive woman who is part of that group
kept winding up next to me and making small talk

(47:47):
with me and looking at me in a way that
was obviously flirty.

Speaker 5 (47:53):
Ooh.

Speaker 7 (47:54):
I kept it clean, but definitely kept up the banter.
When the girl went to the bathroom, my wife pulled
be over and said in front of our couple friends,
something to the effect of, it's obvious that girls into you.

Speaker 5 (48:04):
I don't want to hear talking to her.

Speaker 7 (48:06):
Something about the way she said it she said it
to me triggered something, and I just came back with
something like, I'm just happy to have some attention.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
Baby.

Speaker 7 (48:15):
It's been a long time, almost a year now, done,
done done. The secret has been exposed. At the sports bar.
The only person winning the super Bowl is not you,
because you lost.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
And you didn't get anything.

Speaker 7 (48:35):
She looked shocked, then angry, then angrier. Our friends just
turned around and started watching the game again. Okay, and
right then the other girl came back and introduced herself
to my wife. Ooh, gotta love timing. My wife walked away,
and the wife of our friend followed her. We left

(48:55):
the bar soon after and shared a newer back with
the other couple. We got into a fight we never fight,
about her lack of interest in going to counseling, and
she told me that she thought I was selfish and
not understanding. We haven't talked much since. I don't want
to end my marriage, but I don't see any compromise
in her.

Speaker 5 (49:11):
At all before I start divorce.

Speaker 7 (49:13):
I want to know if there is anything we can
do to say things thanks and there is an update
on the horizon. Yeah, I mean, it seems like clearly
something is happening with her or or she has the
most insane case of chronic tiredness that we've ever ever seen.

(49:35):
But it's probably the former, and it seems that she
isn't addressing it or or talking about it and kind
of giving o po leeway. I don't know what say
udakodees this A is this a reasonable thing?

Speaker 5 (49:45):
To be trillion million reasons under the sun why someone
could lose their drive in the in the boudoir. Uh,
you're a goofy for not having had like a real
conversation about I mean, it sounds like maybe you've had
what could be the beginnings of a real conversation. It's possible,

(50:07):
but it has always started as like a confrontation where
it's like, hey, you're.

Speaker 4 (50:11):
Doing the wrong thing.

Speaker 5 (50:13):
I need this, and then your wife's being like, well, no,
I'm not, I'm tired of this. I'm that I feel
like it could start from a different place of like like, hey,
I clearly I feel like all my needs aren't being met.

Speaker 4 (50:29):
Do you feel like all of yours are? M boom.

Speaker 5 (50:33):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
Oh, let's get into this update.

Speaker 8 (50:36):
Wow.

Speaker 7 (50:37):
So that Saturday, after my original post, I tried again
to talk to her about what I felt was missing
in our relationship.

Speaker 5 (50:43):
This did not go well.

Speaker 7 (50:45):
The next Saturday, I went out and rented an apartment
with at least starting March. First, I went back home
and told her that I would be moving out. I
said I did not know what was going on with her,
and since she did not want to do anything about it,
I wanted a divorce.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
I loved her, but I.

Speaker 5 (51:00):
Didn't live like a hostage anymore.

Speaker 7 (51:02):
She got really quiet and then started sobbing and telling
me that I was cruel and selfish, and that my
focus on spicy sleep was the issue and that I
should go to counseling for that.

Speaker 5 (51:14):
Again.

Speaker 7 (51:15):
I was hoping that she would have said something else,
but since she didn't, I just started packing a.

Speaker 5 (51:20):
Few things for work.

Speaker 7 (51:21):
She asked me where I was going, and I told
her that I would be staying at my parents for
the next few weeks until my lease started. As soon
as I told her I would be staying at my parents,
she got really quiet and asked me if I'd told.

Speaker 5 (51:33):
My parents yet.

Speaker 7 (51:34):
Sirens started going off of my head immediately I had
said I said that I had not.

Speaker 5 (51:40):
This was a lie.

Speaker 7 (51:41):
Then she got quiet for about five minutes, and right
when I was about to walk out the door.

Speaker 5 (51:47):
She asked me not to leave. Conspiracy. I see you theory.
Courtney Electro in the chat said, I think she cheated
and is feeling guilty. I think maybe at Mabby what happened, maybe.

Speaker 7 (52:03):
Because we had a little bit of a projectione. Maybe
allegedly in the earlier scene where the girl came up
to Opie.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
And she's like, oh no, no, She's like, I don't
want you to talk to her.

Speaker 7 (52:15):
Yeah, which you know, in a in a different scenario,
it's like, Okay, this girl is trying to give with you.
But if we think about it in this context, it
does make sense if the alleged is true.

Speaker 2 (52:27):
Then she got quiet.

Speaker 7 (52:28):
She got quiet for about five minutes, and right when
I was about to walk at the door, she asked
me not to leave. She wanted to talk, and then
she told me something I didn't want to hear. She
cheated on me with a guy in her classes here
and got an st.

Speaker 5 (52:42):
I so she was actually just being considerate.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
Oh, so considerate this whole time, so considerate. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 7 (52:50):
Nothing fatal, but not the kind you can get rid of.
She told me that it only happened one time, but
I am not sure that that is true.

Speaker 5 (52:57):
I was numb.

Speaker 7 (52:57):
One of my female friends told me that my wife
cheating was a possibility, but I didn't believe it. I
didn't say anything while my wife talked, mostly because my
mind was reeling, but also because I didn't really have
anything to say. I realized now that I had said
everything I had to say over the course of the
previous year, and now I had nothing. After she finished talking,

(53:18):
I just told her, okay, I will write okay, and
then I left the house with her in it and
went to my parents' house about two hours away. I
told her that I would be back, but I've not
been back to the house or seen her since. I
got to my parents' house and told them everything. They
told me they could tell something was wrong for a
few months and that they.

Speaker 5 (53:38):
Were very sorry.

Speaker 7 (53:39):
I had planned to go back to the house, but
my mother told me that if I was moving forward
with divorce, that I should not go so my mother
and father went and got a few personal items for me.
Everything else I left. I also contacted a lawyer and
told him to contact to contact wife to start the divorce.
Wife has called me on seal and at work a

(53:59):
few times and even emailed me even AOL and then
just kidding, but I didn't read it. She also had
one of her friends call me and tell me to
please talk to my wife and that she is very sorry.

Speaker 5 (54:13):
But as soon as I realized it was a friend
of hers, I hung up.

Speaker 7 (54:16):
I have two weeks off coming up in April, and
I planned to go to Vegas with my buddy. Just
be careful, I guess it sounds dangerous. Yeah, go to
like go to like some nature or something, go like
have like a nice wholesome thing.

Speaker 5 (54:31):
Yes, yeah, skate keeping all my spots, yes, oh oh, gatekeeper.

Speaker 7 (54:39):
My parents and friends have been very supportive, and I
honestly feel better than I have felt in a long time.
I never thought I would get divorced, and that first
week I felt like a failure because I.

Speaker 5 (54:48):
Knew my marriage was over. It's not on EUOPI.

Speaker 7 (54:51):
But my father told me something that I've said to
myself over and over someone else doing the wrong thing
makes them the failure. I hung out this week with
a girl from my job who have always gotten along
with oh by. She saw me at work last week
without my ring and asked me what happened.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
Oh, she wants clock and that I think.

Speaker 7 (55:14):
I think Opie might be a little bit funny because
the very attractive girl approached him. This girl from work
is clocking his ring being off. That's crazy.

Speaker 5 (55:23):
Guy's built like a statue. Oh good, hot statue.

Speaker 4 (55:27):
Oh God.

Speaker 7 (55:29):
I told her that my wife and I were divorcing.
She gave me a hug in the office, and that
hug felt like the best.

Speaker 5 (55:35):
Thing in the world. Oh, be careful, buddy.

Speaker 7 (55:38):
After work this weekend we went out for a few
drinks and just hung out and had fun and ended
up back at my place.

Speaker 2 (55:47):
Op is not heeding the warning I just gave a
four point five seconds ago.

Speaker 7 (55:53):
I am not ready for, nor do I want a relationship, obviously,
but it felt so good to be in bed with
a woman where it felt so relaxed and accepting.

Speaker 5 (56:02):
I felt completely at ease.

Speaker 2 (56:06):
I wonder why.

Speaker 4 (56:09):
I won't What was what was relaxing you so much?

Speaker 5 (56:12):
Yeah? Yeah, what was?

Speaker 7 (56:13):
What was the thing that happened that you were then
just immediately like relaxed. So I know the divorce is
going to be tough, but this weekend, even after all
that's happened, I feel like it will be worth it.
There is a second update to which I'm diving straight into.

Speaker 5 (56:33):
Let's do it.

Speaker 7 (56:34):
Have I talked to my wife or seen her since
I left the house? I haven't confused. I haven't communicated
or seen soon to be X at all since I
moved out. For the first few weeks, she tried calling me,
but I stopped answering any unknown numbers. She left me
to I R c U crying messages, but as soon
but soon after the lawyers got involved, though stopped. Is

(56:55):
the divorce going smoothly? Through a lawyer, I offered espousal
so amount. He suggested a lump sum. She could have
everything in the house. I tried to make it as
simple as possible and keep the conversation to a minimum, which,
in my opinion, for infidelity, I mean, that's and no kids, that's.

Speaker 5 (57:13):
A pretty generous offer.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
About a month or.

Speaker 7 (57:17):
So after I started, I found out that she had
been telling her friends that I had been emotionally harmful
to her. Oh that I kept pressuring her to do
spicy related things that she didn't want to do.

Speaker 5 (57:33):
How do you make cheating on your husband worse like this?

Speaker 7 (57:39):
Yeah? Oh boy, that I wasn't supportive of her pursuing
a graduate degree that man, which just keeps getting worse.
All of this is a lie, of course, and I
almost called it and tell her to quit her bolt.
This is the one point where I can say that
I felt anger, but thankfully my parents and friends just
told me to let the lawyer handle it and not
to let her get me to call her, and not

(58:01):
to lose my cool for even one second until the
divorce was done. Also, through mutual friends, I found out
that she has a dating profile on a dating app
and is dating. Lawyer tells me that this is a
good thing, and I tend to agree. It does kind
of a confirm the storyline.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
There is a lot of information lawyers ask about.

Speaker 7 (58:22):
It's surreal to have someone you hardly know asking very
specific details about your spicy sleep, life, finances, and other
very very personal things that would be weird. It's like
it's like the doctor for your life details. Overall, this
part of the process has been the hardest for me
and has left me drain. But on the plus side,

(58:43):
the lawyer thinks this will be done in a few weeks,
so I will finally be free.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
What do we think.

Speaker 7 (58:49):
About Op's kind of rebounding going to Vegas sleeping with
I believe it was the coworker seemingly weeks.

Speaker 2 (58:57):
I believe could have been even sooner after.

Speaker 8 (59:00):
Or rather, you gotta do what you gotta, don't. Yeah,
with so much you like to do whatever you got
cheated on, you get a SD we're not allowed to
use the d Yeah, I mean, I'm not far that
it's not it's the best way to get get over

(59:20):
someone is get under someone.

Speaker 5 (59:22):
No, not that, I just mean that, like if you're out,
it's not that it's like, oh I need to, but
it's like if it happens, it's not like it's like,
well you shouldn't. It's like I don't think you should
go jump into a relationship with her, and I don't
think that's what he's gonna do. I sure, going to
Vegas with your dudes, like it's cliche, But there's a

(59:43):
reason that it's cliche. It's because it's what people do
sometimes like and as long as you don't go so
ballistic that you endanger yourself or others. They you're okay,
but you know, it's definitely not something you can do forever.

Speaker 6 (59:57):
I don't think vegas is the best remedy for things. Personally.
Hey do to each their own. I guess me go
hit the gym.

Speaker 9 (01:00:08):
You know.

Speaker 7 (01:00:08):
I I The one thing I will say in uh,
to your point Dakota is because of his specific scenario,
because it was spicy sleep related, he did say like, oh,
it did feel like I think he did get probably
a sense of like relief and confidence back of almost
like oh I'm not crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
You know, and uh, maybe a sense of normalcy back.

Speaker 7 (01:00:35):
I don't know, but yeah, I feel like generally, if
if one can can avoid it, that's that's or like,
you know, let it, let it, let it rest. But AnyWho,
we've got we've got a bit left of the story,
so let's dive on in. But a plus, ie the
lawyer thinks she will be done in a few weeks
so I'll finally be free. And yes, and that she

(01:00:58):
got an STI and that we hadn't had spicy sleep
in a year. I had to explain why I just
got up and left. I was very candid. I'm not
going to carry any shame for her. How much is
the divorce costing? I can't say exactly. Between one hundred
thousand and one hundred and fifty thousand.

Speaker 5 (01:01:14):
Dollars for a one time buyout? Do I get any
incentives with that? Do I get a limited edition T shirt?

Speaker 7 (01:01:22):
I have myself checked once right after she told me,
and another time since, and I'm clear. Am I still
dating the colleague from work? We haven't slept together in
a few weeks, but we still hang out and I
enjoy it. I would call us friends again. Back on
the other point, too, though she she jumped on the
chance right after he had the ring off, I'd just

(01:01:42):
be worried about her, like getting wrapped up and involved,
and then it's at work, and then yeah, it gets
sticky pun intended.

Speaker 5 (01:01:53):
Yeah it's getting It's certainly possibility.

Speaker 1 (01:01:59):
Sam Ogi host, We're going to get back to these stories,
but here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (01:02:04):
First, I refuse to defend my brother in law, even
though we both missed our child's birth.

Speaker 5 (01:02:09):
A same boat, different paddles.

Speaker 3 (01:02:12):
So my wife thirty one female and I twenty nine
Male have two kids, our older son and younger daughter.
My brother in law Josh twenty six Mail, has just
had a baby girl with his partner Brad. By the way,
this comes from am I the ale missed birth and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay storytime suburt it. On the day
my daughter was born two years ago, I was with

(01:02:32):
my other brother in law, Dan, also twenty nine Mail,
when he was hit by a car. Understandably, he was
in a bad shape and I called an ambulance and
his parents told me my wife was in labor. My
wife told me over the phone to go with Dan
to the hospital and that she'd be fine. He was
more worried for Dan than anyone. We were both at
different hospitals, my wife at the local hospital and Dan
and I at a bigger city hospital, and it culminated

(01:02:55):
in me missing my daughter being born while I stayed
with Dan so he wasn't alone and I could keep
everyone updated. Dan ended up making a full recovery with
some physio, and my daughter was born with no complications,
and I met her when she was a few hours old.
Now Josh and Brad had a baby do in late August,
but Josh had a vacation with his friends booked for July.

(01:03:15):
Note it was a vacation within the country and within
the VID restriction. Brad asked him not to go so
close to the baby being born, and I also advised
him not to go, but he chose to anyway as
he thought he had enough time. Evidently he did not.
Brad went into labor while he was gone, and his
daughter was born without him there. Like my case, it
was a few hours before he could get back to

(01:03:37):
meet her. The entire family is fuming at him because
we all told him not to go on the vacation.
He asked for my support because he thought I would
understand and told them it's a completely different scenario and
that I had no choice and more importantly, my wife's permission.
Apparently he and his friends all believe that we, but
more specifically me, because I should get it, are a
holes because it wasn't his choice to miss the burr

(01:04:00):
because she was born pre MEI I think he's the
ale because there is a huge difference between the reasons
I couldn't be there versus his reasons. I seriously don't
get his logic. So I'm asking you guys for some
more perspective. Am I the ale?

Speaker 4 (01:04:12):
Edit?

Speaker 3 (01:04:13):
I didn't put this in the post to avoid any
off topic questions or transpost. But Josh's partner is frans Man,
not a wife girlfriend lady. I keep getting asked this.
So baby was five to six weeks early. Edit three, Wow,
this made it to Twitter.

Speaker 4 (01:04:24):
I'm amazed.

Speaker 3 (01:04:25):
My wife has two brothers called Dan and Josh. They
are brothers, not in a relationship. Josh's partner is the
unnamed because, as I said, I tried to avoid gender
Edit four, last edit, I promise I've gone back and
named Josh's partner Brad to hopefully clear things up. And
there are some comments not the ale. He clearly didn't
have his priorities straight. If he chooses to go on

(01:04:48):
a vacation when his pregnant partner is asking him not to,
he's already an a hole. He is just trying to
use you as a shield. Oh, Bie. His logic was
that the vacation was booked pre baby, so he should
still go, which seems stupid to me. Oh and I
don't want a nitpick, but Josh, his partner is a
trans man. I just didn't gender him in the post
because I didn't want to attract off topic questions. Commedo

(01:05:09):
two info how long was he supposed to be away
for and what day of him being gone did the
partner go into labor? Opie says, I think it was
a week long trip. He left on Sunday morning, and
his partner was in labor by Thursday night slash Friday morning.
Commeda three says not the ale, especially because his partner
is trans. I am sis, but as far as I understand,
childbirth for a transman can be incredibly stressful and dysphoric,

(01:05:32):
not to mention everything else that can go wrong. Opie says, yeah,
his partner was really worried about how his previous HRT
would affect the pregnancy and baby, and.

Speaker 4 (01:05:41):
His dysphorio is pretty bad.

Speaker 3 (01:05:43):
The doctor said that the HRT shouldn't affect it, but
you know how pregnant people are for worrying about stuff
like that. Common four says he chose to go on
a vacation knowing the risks, so he did choose to
miss the birth of his child. I'm so sorry his
partner had to go through this alone. I hope he
had family there to support him. Obi says he did.
Rest assured my wife and I, her parents and his

(01:06:04):
parents too. I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to
have your fingers crushed by someone in labor too. Ohpi
clarifies on if Dan is his wife's brother and how
she told them to be with Dan at the time
of the accident. Obi says, yeah, Dan is her brother.
He wanted me to stay with him because there was
a decent possibility we could have lost him, and she
wanted someone to be with him justin case. Just a
little different to going on a lad's holiday in my opinion.

(01:06:28):
How did Brad feel about Josh going on holiday? Obie says,
pissed off and upset with Josh. He was really upset
when he realized Josh couldn't come back in time. Omitter
five says there are so many increased risks for complications
and trans mail berths. I'm surprised the obiguyn didn't bash
your brother in law over the head anytime after month seven.
His butt should have stayed at home. Where did he

(01:06:49):
go that was so dang important? Opie says, Lad's strip
to Scotland? You know something clearly more important than his
pregnant partner. I'm not sure on the VIDIC restrictions in Scotland.
On update, says well, I wasn't expecting the response on
my last post. I thought some of you might like
an update, and a couple of people on Twitter requested it.
It's a happy ending. Whoooooo, you'll be glad to hear.

(01:07:13):
I did send Josh this post and he admitted that
heifed up. Brad has reported to me that Josh is
well and truly repented. Their baby girls now four weeks old,
and Josh has been on night duty since she was
a week old. He apologized to Brad for not being
there for him and me for dragging me into it.
Both of us forgave him and it seems everything will

(01:07:33):
be okay. Their daughter is a happy, healthy little girl,
and a very vocal one at that. He's apparently a
big fan of yelling at her dads and not sleeping,
so Josh is certainly receiving his karma. Unfortunately, she's yet
to meet her cousins and most of the family thanks
to the VID but we've received plenty of video calls
and photos. There is a little bit left to this story,
but do you have any final thoughts?

Speaker 5 (01:07:52):
They made a choice forgive and forget, forget, I guess
not forget forgive and be like, hey, remember when you
did that thing.

Speaker 4 (01:07:58):
You're on night duty again, you are on night duty.
Let me tell you know.

Speaker 5 (01:08:02):
I wouldn't necessarily say it's like a complete breakup situation,
but it certainly is like a conversation. Don't ever do
nothing like that to me ever?

Speaker 2 (01:08:10):
Again.

Speaker 4 (01:08:10):
Absolutely, I think that's like a one strike.

Speaker 3 (01:08:13):
Yeah, I mean truly, just I don't know how you
think that that's okay, it's just truly a lack of
thoughts or is this just oh I don't care, that's
what I would be wondering.

Speaker 5 (01:08:23):
I think we would truly need more like info on
like there, because we didn't really get into too much
of like how they actually are, like their personalities.

Speaker 3 (01:08:31):
Yeah, and maybe this is the only thing that has
ever happened that's been you know, bad.

Speaker 5 (01:08:36):
There was some other reason why Dad got scared.

Speaker 3 (01:08:39):
He was like, I'm about to become a dad. I
gotta go in the lad's trip. No one last.

Speaker 5 (01:08:44):
Time someone on the lads trip where they may be
sick or something, and like they don't want anyone to
know the.

Speaker 3 (01:08:51):
Lad's trip can't be complete without all six of.

Speaker 5 (01:08:54):
Us, So this is a entire hypothetical, But like, just imagine,
like you're on this lad trip Scotland. One of them
has cancer, doesn't want to tell anybody. Now you're in
a horrd rock and a hard place because you can't.
You're like, why either betray the trust of the friend
who doesn't want anyone to know about his diagnosis, or
I betray my partner who's yeah giving bird. But maybe
I can make it back for both. I can do both.
This is an entire hypothetical I have just cooked up

(01:09:14):
in my brain. But it's like, maybe the world isn't
black and white. There's good the most Almost everything in
the world is in a gray zone.

Speaker 3 (01:09:20):
But folks, there's a little bit left to this story.
Brad also saw the post and thanked everyone for their
congratulations and support. He's recovering well at home and he's
almost ready to start binding again, as well as slowly
returning to taking HRT. I'm sure some of you will
be disappointed to hear that Josh has been forgiven, but
that's just the way it goes. My niece will grow
up in a happy family with two dads who love

(01:09:41):
her and hopefully Josh will never be so dumb again.
Relevant comments, so, he says, clarifying on the meanings of
binding an HRT binding is the practice of flattening down
the front airbracks with a special type of vest to
make them a pure non existent HRT. Hormone replacement therapy
is injecting oneself with testosterone for transmen to give the
more masculine features, or estrogen for trans women to give

(01:10:03):
them more feminine features. Hope this helps Opie on his
new niece's health progress after her premature birth.

Speaker 4 (01:10:09):
During the pandemic.

Speaker 3 (01:10:10):
Opie says she was able to go home after one
point five weeks due to the VID infection risks in
the NICU ward as she was able to support her
own breathing. I'm obviously not a doctor, but they made
the call to send her home so she wasn't at
risk of exposure. It's probably not normal protocol, but these
are not normal times, my friend. I'm honestly not sure

(01:10:30):
if it was the nick you, as I've never had
to experience a PREMEI baby myself. Both of mine were
full term, and I did mention many times in my
last post that she's a fat little thing. My wife's
family does have a history of heavy babies. Again, I'm
just the uncle, so I don't know every single in
and out of her case. Ah I know specifically is
that I was told she was sent home after one

(01:10:51):
point five weeks to prevent the risk of catching the
VID and they were told to isolate. What did Opie
do to get Josh to take his responsibility and make
it right with Brad? Opie says, it was actually my
suggestion for him to volunteer for night duty as a
means of an apology. No, I Sopie, I'll never understand
fathers who don't share their parental responsibilities equally. I have
children if you don't want to care for them. By

(01:11:12):
the way, thank you so much for the award.

Speaker 5 (01:11:13):
I'm grateful.

Speaker 3 (01:11:14):
Opi on his history with his wife's family and how
healthy the relationships are. Opie says, I do love that
about my wife's family. I've been a de facto member
since I was eleven when I met Dan, her brother,
and started dating my wife at thirteen, so I still
really respect the amount of accountability and conflict resolution they
go through as a family unit. We claim responsibility for

(01:11:35):
our idiots, and we love them. Opie says her parents
are now at the point where they say they have
five kids. They're actual children, my wife, Dan, and Josh
and then you, Brad. Most of my friends think it's
odd that my core friendship circle consists of my wife,
her two brothers, and one brother's partner. But it really
just makes spending Christmas together really freaking easy. Sometimes just
find the people you like, man, And sometimes it's your

(01:11:56):
wife's brothers.

Speaker 4 (01:11:57):
Yeah, wh who's got problems with that? What I'm talking about?

Speaker 3 (01:12:01):
Yes, Opie shared a surprise. Obie says, Oh, there's no
doubt about it. If you can keep a secret. And
because I'm absolutely passing away to toss someone, my wife
is actually two months pregnant with baby number three. Tell
Dan to stay in the car. I can already sense
how close they'll be with the Editor's note, Josh and
Brad's baby. That's so sweet, man,

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