My boyfriend’s brother is UNCOMFORTABLE living with us… because we’re not married yet! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, John, you're under arrest. Oh no, don't do it.

(00:03):
I'm an og okay start time podcast host. I don't care.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm making sure that you stay here for the next
two minutes.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
All right, I'll be detained for the two more minutes
before we get into this episode. Yeah, we got some
ads coming up, so stick around.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Stick around. My boyfriend's brother is uncomfortable living with us
because we're not married yet.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
He's clutching his pearls right now. Yeah, you're living in
sin Huth.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years
and lived together for one year. We are not religious
at all, and neither is his father. His mom goes
to church every now and then, but she isn't strict
on it. His parents are super sweet and accepting of everyone.
And by the way, this comes from user this is
kind of funny and if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

(00:49):
So we decided to move in with his parents so
we can save money and finally finish school. Nick, my
boyfriend's brother, calls him and tells him how much he
loves us both and is happy that we're together. Whoever,
Nick and his wife Amy are uncomfortable with us living
together at his parents' house because we aren't married. They
even sat down with his parents and explained to them

(01:10):
how they're going to be hosting dinner at their place
from now on. The kids won't be able to spend
the night or have dinner here anymore. They'll come over
for lunch every now and then, though, and the reality
is that they hardly ever invite my boyfriend's parents over.
His mom told me she's only been to their house
six times in the past fifteen years. It really hurts
his parents. They love the kids and they feel like

(01:30):
they're being punished for this. The kids know that we
live together, so I'm guessing that Nick and Amy just
don't want them to witness it or show that they're
okay with us living together. His parents have done so
much for them, and to hear their own sons say
these words is so shocking.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
I feel awful for his parents.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
My boyfriend's mom just lost her mother weeks ago, and
now they drop this on her. I just don't know.
It feels effed up. We're all pretty hurt from this,
and to be honest, I always felt uncomfortable around them,
but tried my best to get to know them. Still,
now I'm going to feel even more awkward. I was
raised to respect everyone and all religious views, but this
is leaving a bad taste in my mouth for sure.

(02:08):
I even feel like I want to avoid them. But
this is my boyfriend's brother. We are all going to
have to see each other again eventually. I just feel
like we are never ever going to see eye to
eye on anything because we are completely different people. I
usually avoid people like this, so it sucks that I
have to suck it up and just forget about it
and act normal. Have you guys been in this situation?

(02:29):
How did you guys deal with it? What are your thoughts?
Anything will help? Boyfriend is twenty seven male. There is
an update, Andreie.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
Do you have any.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
Thoughts maybe, like, is it the kind of thing where
the brother like doesn't stay with them until they are married? Like,
can he just kind of be annoying for a while
until they eventually get married.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
No.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
Oftentimes the solution is like, all right, you just got
to live your life and his mom not seeing the
grandkids is not on you.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
On You're like not even involved in that situation.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
So it's been about six months living with my boyfriend's.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Parents, and it's been amazing.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Okay, I just feel so blessed to have them in
my life. Before I get into the actual update with
Nick and Amy, my boyfriend's brother and his wife, I
want to be honest and explain the situation with my
boyfriend and I. That way, you guys will have a
better idea of why we're living with his parents. We
never finished college. I've been working ever since I was
sixteen years old. I was doing really well with my

(03:29):
so called career working at a bank, but it was
stressful and I hated it. It was not my passion
at all. Every single day I was dreading that nine
am to six pm schedule. It was soul crushing and draining.
I was living with my boyfriend, paying rent, and going
to school part time. My boyfriend worked with his dad's
landscaping company and went to school as well. To be honest,
it was just too hard. Finally, I quit my job

(03:52):
and decided to go back to school full time. His
parents agree that as long as we focus on school,
they're willing to take care of everything. My boyfriend and
is now at university majoring in computer engineering and I'm
transferring in the spring from my psychology degree, then going
from my teaching credentials. So this looks like it's going
to be a few years before we even get the
chance to move out and be independent again. We are very,

(04:14):
very blessed that we have the chance to finish school
and not worry about bills. We are so effing lucky. Well,
thank god, at least Op knows. Yeah, I read a
lot of storage people don't seem to understand right how
lucky or sometimes unlucky they are.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Op knows exactly where they're at.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
I know that there's no way I can ever pay
his parents back for this, but I know that I
will try my best to make them proud and support them.
So here's a little background about Amy and Nick so
you can also understand them better too. Apparently they weren't
always like this. According to my boyfriend, Nick was a
very fun, goofy older brother. He was more laid back
and care free, and Amy has always been more uptight

(04:54):
and a little clingy, rumors I heard from the family. Anyways,
Amy changed Nick's life around the better when they first
started dating. She got him to finish school and even
got him a job through her brother in law. So yeah,
she has made a huge impact on his life. Amy
is super sweet and nice in person, But there are
some things that I keep hearing about her, like she
got upset last year, which I didn't know about it

(05:17):
at the time, that my boyfriend, his other brother James,
and I put up the Christmas tree without her kids.
I remember them coming late that day and we left
ornaments for the kids to put on the tree. I
honestly did not know she was upset. As a kid, I.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
Only cared about the ornaments. Hmmm, I remember that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:34):
Would would you be her if if you were these
kids that got left out?

Speaker 2 (05:38):
As long as there were still ornaments to put on
the tree, I wouldn't care.

Speaker 3 (05:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
She had a small wedding in a different country with
just the immediate family. Somehow, after returning home, she left
her wedding photo album at my boyfriend's mom's house.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
We'll call her Julie.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
Amy was super upset with Julie because she let Nick's
aunts and cousins see the wedding pictures. Amy felt that
she should have been the one to show it to them.
Amy got mad at Julie for having the same decoration
picture on her kitchen wall. Julie just happened to buy
the exact same one by coincidence. Mm Amy likes to
feel like a special snowflake, doesn't she. Yeah, my boyfriend's

(06:13):
dad went to help out with the landscaping of their
new house. Apparently Nick's cousin, who was also helping, used
the upstairs bathroom because the downstairs bathroom was out of service.
Amy was pissed because she wasn't home and people shouldn't
be walking around in the house without her there. Yeah,
people like your actual husband's family.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
Cool.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
She got upset when my boyfriend and his friend came
over to help Nick move furniture from downstairs to their
upstairs bedroom. She was upset at Nick because the bedroom
was a mess and nobody should have seen it. My
boyfriend said he didn't even notice anything messy.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Backs.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
She gets mad when Nick drinks. Apparently she gives him
the crazy eye look when he has a drink in
his hand.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
This one is new. Apparently.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
She doesn't invite the family over because she doesn't want
them to feel uncomfortable. Their house is huge and nice.
She doesn't want them to think she has a lot
of money. She makes little sarcastic remarks here and there
when my boyfriend and I are holding hands or being affectionate. Wow,
you guys have to hold hands just to walk inside
the house? Was this woman saying Amy needs to learn

(07:12):
to let other people live.

Speaker 3 (07:14):
She's doing too much.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
Man, Amy is a micromanager, a macro manager as well.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
Yeah, she needs to chill.

Speaker 3 (07:21):
Oh man.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
She made a remark at James, the other brother and
his girlfriend when he complained his back hurt and the
girlfriend was like, oh, it's okay and rubbed his shoulders
for a second. Amy was like, hey, guys, not in
front of the kids.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
All other people around their kids have to be like
sim characters and just NPC's just walking around. They can't
interact at all.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
No touching, no touching feet of space, no touching.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
No speaking, no holding hands, no walking around her house.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
No affection.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
We're trying to teach our kids that you're not supposed
to like your partner.

Speaker 3 (07:53):
Yeah, the kids are not allowed to learn any sort
of human affection at all.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
We're raising lizards yep.

Speaker 2 (07:59):
So yeah, yes, these are just some of the things
that I hear about her. I've witnessed the comments but
didn't think anything of it. I'm kind of oblivious that
way though. Did she mean something by it? Everyone seems
to think so. There's more stories from so many different people. Also,
what's strange to me is when she gets mad about something,
she never actually communicates directly to Julie or to the family.
She tells Nick, and then Nick is the one to

(08:19):
call everyone and explain everything, like, Hey, this bothered Amy
because X, Y and Z. What's even more crazy is
we all feel so awkward around her because of everything
that has happened. However, she has this smile on her
face and talks to us like nothing has ever happened.
In the meantime, everyone is just boiling inside and is
trying to keep the peace for the kids. Nobody dares
to say anything. Also, I don't know if this matters

(08:42):
or not, but Julie is actually Nick's step mom. Nick
and my boyfriend are half brothers. Julie has been a
part of Nick's life since he was about six years old. Anyways,
here's the update. Uh oh, Before we get into the update,
I just want to say, people like Amy, you just
got to ignore them.

Speaker 3 (09:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
Fine, if she wants to isolate herself, because it's like
everyone else's values are too like despicable for her children
to be around.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
Whatever.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
Yeah, but if she's up in your space telling you
stuff just in one ear out the other. Yeah, not happening, Amy,
sorry about that, totally onto whatever you were doing.

Speaker 3 (09:19):
She can't control what you guys are doing. You can't
control what she's doing.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
We hardly ever see them. They told us that there
won't be any more dinners or sleepovers, but they're more
than happy to come over for lunch. On Father's Day,
Julie invited them over for lunch. We were going to
have a family barbecue with the cousins, the aunts, the uncles,
the kids, everybody. Nick was the only one who showed up.
He showed up without his kids and without Amy. Everyone

(09:44):
said he seemed different and unhappy and just awkward. This
was the first time he ever showed up without his family.
This was actually the last time he was at the
house too. On James's birthday, we had a dinner at
the house. James being the older brother. Julie and my
boyfriend Dad didn't invite Amy or Nick because they just
assumed they wouldn't want to come. Because of the whole situation.

(10:06):
Nick finds out about it and was hurt. You guys
should have still told us and we would have planned something.
Last night, we had another get together and Julie shoots
a message, Hey, we're having dinner Friday night with everyone.
I know because of the situation, you guys may not come,
but I just wanted to let you know. He responded
with thanks for the invite, but unfortunately the situation is
still the same.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
So why are we upset? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (10:26):
Why are you mad You're not being told about stuff?
You literally just said, yeah, whatever, dude, I guess you're
gonna I would try to have an intervention with Nick
if I'm his family, if I'm related to him directly.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
I know.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
Oh, he's just a girlfriend in this context, so not
a whole lot.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
Of weight, dude.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
Just be like, Nick, your girlfriend is isolating you and
your family from the rest of us.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
Yeah, for no good reason. Yeah, and clearly.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
Nick doesn't actually agree with her because he's showing.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
Up without her, right absurd, Let's keep gone. So yeah,
that's pretty much the update. Julie's super hurt because she
barely sees the kids this year. It's actually Julie's turn
to host Christmas. Not sure how that will go down.
They're still keeping the kids away because I am living
with my boyfriend, and that makes us the worst examples
of all time in their eyes. I forgot to mention

(11:18):
that a lot of the family thinks this might be
an excuse to keep the kids away. Perhaps she wanted
this all along, not for religious reasons, but because I
don't know, she's crazy. Someone were saying how she was
the only daughter in law for many years, and here
comes me and James's new girlfriend. She has known the
family over twenty years, but I think she always kept
her distance for some reason, or kept her guard up.

(11:39):
Absolutely absurd detail that she's known these people for twenty
years and she has to have Nick be the communication
channel between her and everyone else.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
Yeah, and uh, do you ever remember how old the
kids are? Again, they're pretty young.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
I don't think we even got told they might be
in the title. I'm not sure, but clearly they're young kids.
They're grandkids. They're young, impressionable kids who don't we don't
want to teach you to live with your girlfriend. It's
so strange, though, because the family is so awesome. James's
girlfriend and I click so well with them. I attend
all of the family gatherings and even went camping with

(12:15):
them this year. And by the way, you can camp
out and listen to full episodes with stories.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
Just like this.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
If you go to Spotify or Apple Podcasts or iHeartRadio
or wherever you listen to podcasts and search okay, storytime,
you'll find the entire archive and you can look through
it to your hearts content. Oh yeah, we have a
little bit more story left. Let's just daring Verne into it. Y,
let's do it. Okay, I guess I don't really need advice. Great, well,

(12:45):
I'm glad we didn't take any time thinking of any
right there. It's awkward seeing Nick and Amy, but I
just keep my distance. It's definitely hard to be around
people who are so judgmental, but now whatever, I barely
see them anyway. To be honest, I just feel bad
for their parents. They were so attached to the kids,
and the kids are always asking to come over and
asking why they can't. They always mention how they don't

(13:06):
understand it. They say it every single time they see Julie.
They end up crying to every time Julie has to
take them home.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
So, yeah, what are your thoughts on the situation. I mean,
there's nothing we can really do except to just let
it be. I would love to hear what you guys think, though.
I think Amy is gonna be confused when her kids
get older and don't want anything to do with it.

Speaker 3 (13:27):
I agree, I agree.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
Why won't my kids talk to me?

Speaker 3 (13:31):
This is gonna have some backlash in the teenage years,
for sure.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
Do you manage every aspect of their lives as a child, yep?
Don't be surprised when they're like, please leave me alone?

Speaker 3 (13:41):
Yep, yep, yep.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
Anyway, Also, they are Catholic. My boyfriend and I don't
even believe in God. If I had to choose anything,
it would probably be Buddhism. So yeah, definitely different backgrounds.
And that is the end of that story.

Speaker 3 (13:55):
I refuse to kiss my pregnant mother in law's belly.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
Now everyone's upset, as they should be. Trigger warning.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
The story is going to talk about miscarriage and accidents.
So this is going to sound very weird, but it
is what it is. My husband, Jason twenty four male,
was born to his mother, Luna forty two female, when
she was eighteen almost nineteen out of her first marriage. Now.
Luna is from a rich Italian family out of Seattle,
where people sound like they're from Frasier. So even though
that marriage collapsed after Jason's birth, they didn't really struggle

(14:27):
in the conventional sense. But they're really really close to
each other. Like he and she do Tom Brady kisses
with each other. She does it with his sister too.
By the way, this comes from prego mother in law,
and if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay storytime separread it. So we
got married earlier in the year, but the entire time
I've known Luna, it feels like she's been competing with me.

(14:48):
Not in a way for her son's attention, I don't think,
but like as a friendly rival or whatever. I don't
know how to put it since it doesn't seem malicious.
But like two years ago, she saw me doing an
app workout and she joined in. I kept doing it
until she was not only better than me, but had
pretty good apps. That's to give you a glimpse as
to our relationship. I got pregnant earlier this year, unintentional,

(15:09):
but we decided to keep it and I kid you
not two months later Luna was pregnant too. That felt
really weird to me. Who wants their kid to be
older than their aunt or uncle? Real life isn't modern family,
Almost like she wanted to be like sisters who got
pregnant at the same time. I miscarried due to a
really bad car crash that we were in and in

(15:30):
his grief, It's like Jason completely turned to Luna while
I was in the hospital. When I got out, it
was really really weird, Like after visiting his mom's house,
he did the Tom Brady kiss with her and then
kissed her belly because apparently it's what he did when
he was three and she was pregnant with his sister.
I was freaking out when she asked me to do
it too, but I did it to just avoid causing

(15:52):
a fight. Since then, I have left his mom's house
early whenever we go, making up some excuse or another
to avoid the belly kisses, but have had to do
it like three more times. She is six months pregnant now,
and yesterday we visited her house. There she showed us
a picture of when she was seven months pregnant with
her daughter, Rhiannon twenty one female. They were of her

(16:12):
taste old but still, but some were of her and
my toddler husband kissing her pregnant belly. She told us
she wanted to do this again, same style, and my
husband agreed. Apparently Rannon agreed to do it too. She
wants me to do it too, since I'll be the
mom of her future grand babies. I gave a non
committal answer, and when we got home, my husband argued

(16:32):
with me on giving his mom false hope, telling me
it was an a whole thing to just not say yes, okay, wow, So.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
That makes him the aole for not being like you
can say no, yeah, you just need to say yes, yeah, because.

Speaker 3 (16:47):
He can't be mad at leading her on giving her
false hope if he's not okay with the answer being no.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
Right, Like what this is just weird, weird, and yeah,
she's totally allowed to feel uncomfortable about any and all
of this yes and not want to participate.

Speaker 3 (17:05):
You know, I think it's fine for like a mother
to be like, you know, in front of her like
little children. I think it's like, you know, whatever, it's
just nature and everythingever, Yeah it's beautiful, but as an adult,
it's not beautiful anymore it's not the same. Like if
if my future and mother in law asked me to

(17:26):
do that, I just had to be like in a
picture kissing my naked mother in law's belly. This is
a little weird. I wouldn't be okay with that ever,
Super uncomfortable, super weird. I tried to point out to
him just how awkward it is and how I don't
feel comfortable, but he was having none of it. He
hasn't stopped talking to me, but I know he's pissed
that I don't want to kiss his mom's belly. But

(17:46):
am I the a hole for how I went about
this situation? And we have an edit. Felt like I
needed to add this before it came up in every
other comment. Jason and I are in therapy regarding the
fact that I almost passed away in the car crash,
our baby passed away, that my leg doesn't work anymore,
and that he doesn't think he can move on.

Speaker 2 (18:04):
You're not an a hole for giving a non committal answer,
because I feel like you've been made to feel like
you can't say no, which is the answer you would
want to get.

Speaker 3 (18:12):
Yeah, exactly. Belly kisses just didn't seem like a weighty
enough issue given all else that we talk about there,
So for all the people who are going to recommend therapy,
we already go and I will be bringing this up there,
and we do have some comments. But before we get
into those, do we think Opie's the a hole for
being in this situation?

Speaker 4 (18:30):
You know?

Speaker 2 (18:31):
You know, just like if you want to like get clarity,
just start actually speaking your mind.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
Yeah, and then see how they react.

Speaker 3 (18:39):
Yeah, absolutely so. Comments number one says, Wow, never thought
i'd have to say this, But not the a hole
for wanting to kiss your unclothed mother in law's stomach.
Comments are number two says, I can't get over the
fact that mother in law is making her daughter do
this so soon after the tragic loss of her own baby,
and with all of the injuries that she suffered in

(18:59):
the acts, rather sickening. OPI responds, the only good thing
about my leg being like ninety five percent non functional
is that he doesn't pressure me at all to go
to her house when he wants to. Well, that's nice,
I guess, silver lining.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
Silver lining.

Speaker 3 (19:12):
If you ask why I still go, well I do
if he's had a crap day himself and would rather
be by his side. But yeah, we will be going
to the therapist tomorrow and I will point out how
messed up it is, and in particular because of what
we lost. I do know he'll understand that part at least.
And someone else responds. And also for ditching his miscarrying

(19:33):
wife in the hospital to go be by his mommy's
side and kiss her pregnant belly instead, that would absolutely
be divorce worthy for me. I'm not kidding. He would
have papers served to him by the next week. She
almost passed away in that car crash, her leg was
permanently injured, she lost her baby, and her husband left
her to be with his pregnant mommy. Oh Pi responds,

(19:53):
I do want to clarify he never ditched me in
the hospital. He came to visit me every day, but
obviously he wasn't there twenty four cents because of work,
and in case I wasn't there to make us food,
he went back to his mom's place. He had ditched
me in the hospital. Had he not been there as
my crutch for my fed up leg whenever I needed
him and gone to therapy, then yeah, I would have
divorced him. The thing is, he's been there for me

(20:15):
in spite of how weird his mom's gotten about this.
Another person responds, sorry, he had to go to his
mother's because you weren't there to cook. Can he not cook? Oh?
He says he can cook. He initially started going there
because he absolutely refused to eat anything. As he told me,
he felt that he hadn't appreciated my cooking enough, which
made no sense because he absolutely did, and almost losing

(20:36):
me made him feel like he didn't deserve food. A wow.
But obviously a man has to eat, So he started
going to his mother's. I'm guessing his sister told her
and she made him come over, and he just latched
onto her there in his grief, he still absolutely came
to visit me every day. But yeah, I didn't want
to go into that much detail, but I made him
sound like good nuns.

Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yeah, made a little oops. He made it sound like
your husband baned you the hospital?

Speaker 3 (20:59):
Yeah, yeah, what can you do? But yeah, I would
definitely not blame him for not being able to cook
for himself, because he's definitely going through this terrible thing
as well. Right, we do have an updates. Do you
have any final thoughts before we move on?

Speaker 1 (21:17):
I think let's just get into it.

Speaker 3 (21:18):
Let's just get into it. I brought the issue up
in therapy. Thanks everyone for helping me give words to
use and helping identifying my own pain, and I think
the therapist was shocked. I pointed out how it hurt
me to have to kiss a pregnant belly. It only
felt like Luna was having to compete with me. Jason
seemed really regretful. He apologized, and I know he was
holding back tears. He promised that he'd make sure Luna

(21:40):
never asked again. I then pointed out how odd the
idea of taking tasteful news with his pregnant mom was.
He got defensive, but at home he told me that
I was right and that he'd only do the photos
if she was clothed. Still weird, but progress. I also
got him to agree that we wouldn't be having kids
until we were one hundred percent sure that Luna couldn't
have kids anymore.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
Oh wow.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
Unfortunately, two days later, my legs condition got worse. I
woke up, tried to stand and fell, screaming and crying.
I got hospitalized for two weeks and then had in
patient physical therapy for three weeks. During this time, Jason
regressed back to his mom. The photo shoot was taken,
and Luna texted me the pictures. She wasn't nude and
there were no belly kisses, but it was sheer and uncomfortable,

(22:23):
especially with my meds. Honestly, I started googling divorce stuff
until a nurse put my phone away.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
Oh wow.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
After I went back home, it just didn't feel right
with Jason anymore. It was like Luna won and had
replaced me. I guess he realized it wasn't working and
those photos were the last straw. So after a week
he asked for a chance, but said if divorce was
what I wanted, he'd go for it. I told him
I did, because he wasn't the man I married anymore,
and I didn't think he could go back. He just
said okay and was kind of frozen as we started

(22:51):
the process. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I feel like that really
just escalated fast.

Speaker 2 (22:57):
Does mean it can seem that way, But losing a
child and then becoming physically disabled and then yeah, also,
your husband is now seeking comfort from his own mother,
who's kind of way young because she had him when
she was eighteen and she's pregnant at the same time.

(23:18):
That is so much to put on top of a marriage. Yeah,
it makes perfect sense to me that I think it
ended with divorce.

Speaker 3 (23:26):
I think I guess I'm just confused why, Like, like,
it seems like it was working out with the with
going to therapy. It seemed like, you know, he apologized,
he you know, came to the realization that it was
weird to pose with his mother. But I think I'm
confused why the fact that he still took pictures was

(23:47):
like the last straw and why.

Speaker 2 (23:49):
That I think it's I think it's it all comes
back to the kid.

Speaker 1 (23:53):
It all comes back to.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
The loss and that his mom's pregnant and that there's
like it's the pregnancy being a thing and that she
was just like this weird and he never saw it was.

Speaker 3 (24:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
Now it's just like be true too. It's like, do
you want a day little Mommy's boy?

Speaker 3 (24:07):
Yeah, yeah, you know that would make sense, but huh
man yaosa yaosa. But uh, you know what else makes sense?
Is you going to Spotify, iHeart Radio or Apple podcasts
to search Okay, storytime because you know what you're gonna
find there. You're gonna find full episodes with more stories

(24:28):
just like this one. Just wow, search us up. Wow,
it makes so much sense.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
But there is a little bit more into the story.
I'm just gonna jump right into it, all right. But
then I had a bad fall when I stupidly tried
to go down the stairs alone. I hate my leg
and the way he took care of me was like
he was himself again. I asked if he still wanted
another chance, and he said he did, but didn't think
that he could do it here. He asked if I'd
be willing to move somewhere far away from his family

(24:56):
and leave them behind so we could focus on us.

Speaker 2 (24:58):
Oh, wow, brother, Mike, did you know that your problems
will follow you wherever you go?

Speaker 1 (25:04):
What?

Speaker 2 (25:05):
Yeah, it's not really just that your family exists near you,
it's that all this stuff has happened.

Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah, that will follow you.

Speaker 3 (25:12):
And I said yes because I was planning on leaving
as soon as we divorced. We're moving to Albuquerque because
his mom can't go there, and I got a referral
to a treatment facility that will help. Honestly, these last
few days before we leave for our new life have
been just like my old life, except I have a
ninety five percent bum leg now and it's been great
having the man I love back. I don't know much

(25:33):
about New Mexico, but I'm excited.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
All right.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
It's real dry, it's a little dusty. Yeah, it's pretty windy.
I hope you like rock climbing the well. I mean
she can't with the.

Speaker 3 (25:45):
Leg so.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
Well, really, but that is the end of that story. Yeah,
hey's John og host.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick
free minute break of ads from our sponsors. My mother
in law doesn't like me. I don't want her around
my future children.

Speaker 3 (26:11):
It seems fair to me.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
When I first met her, I was very excited because
my husband used to talk about his mom a lot
and they had a very close relationship. She seemed like
an amazing woman from everything he told me, and when
I met her, she honestly reminded me of missus Claws.
She had rosy cheeks, short white hair, and cute circle glasses.
I was so excited to get to know her personally.

(26:34):
By the way, this comes from user throwaway account t
t and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. So at first,
she was very nice and sweet to me. She and
I talked a lot upon our first meeting, and I
felt like there was a real connection. However, she didn't
stay that way, and it was only a faca when
it was announced that my husband and I were engaged.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
She did not like that. At first.

Speaker 2 (26:59):
She was opposed to it because she felt like we
hadn't really dated that long. It had been six months,
and I did agree with that. You don't want your
child rushing into marriage with someone they haven't been with
for even a year. She tried to talk him out
of it, and like I said, at first, I understood
where she was coming from, but after a while that
would be the only thing she would talk about. I
would hear him on the phone with her, and I
could hear him saying yes, I'm sure, like ten times.

(27:21):
He ended up telling me that she thought I pressured
him into proposing to me, which was not even the case.
We never even talked about marriage. Yeah, he brought it
up in passing, like I would want to marry you
one day, But I've heard the same thing from high
school boyfriends, so I didn't think much of it. It
did start to irritate me a little that she would
constantly question him about a big decision like that and
try to make him change his mind, because I thought

(27:43):
she and I had a decent relationship. But when I
talked about it with friends and family, they told me
not to take it personally because he is her only child,
so she's not ready to.

Speaker 1 (27:52):
Let go and such and blah blah blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
So I learned how to swallow it down, but things
only got worse from there. I invited her to go
shopping with me and my family. I thought maybe if
she saw the dresses and whatnot, she would get excited.
And she did look at dresses with me, asking if
I would like this or that, and she was smiling,
So of course, I'm like, good, she's in a good mood.
Maybe she's accepting it. While I was in the dressing room,

(28:15):
she knocked on the door and came in. She grabbed
my hand and got in a very low voice, saying,
I wasn't gonna ask this, but is my son paying
for that dress? The way she asked it in such
a sweet voice made me not realize her true feelings
at first, So I said, yes he was, and she said, oh, well, traditionally,
the bride's family does.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
Soh, yeah, she's right about that, but he wanted to
pay for it, so why were her painties all in
a bunch?

Speaker 1 (28:44):
It was awkward with her after that.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
Then at our wedding rehearsal, she tells him that she's
there for him, and she emphasized it. That really bothered me,
because she should be here for both of us. Then,
of course, at the dinner rehearsal, we did toast. At
the dinner instead of at the wedding. Everyone was saying
all nice and wonderful things about both of us, and
it was really sentimental. His mother gets to make her
toast and all she says is, I've prayed about this,

(29:08):
and I think you need to call off the wedding.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
Ah.

Speaker 1 (29:13):
No, the wedding was literally the next day.

Speaker 3 (29:18):
No.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
I was so pissed off about that.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
Fast forward three years later, my husband was out of
town working and his mom's birthday was coming up and
she was having a party. Of course, with our history,
I was hesitant to show up. We hadn't really had
many interactions after the wedding. There had been some awkward encounters,
but either way, I decided to show my face at
her birthday party. I sent her a little text saying

(29:41):
I was going to be in attendance. About a week before.
I go to the party and I spot my husband's
ex girlfriend there. I had never met her before, but
I knew what she looked like. First off, why is
she here? Why is she in contact with my mother
in law? I know exactly why.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
You want to know why why?

Speaker 2 (29:56):
But all my pop culture heads out there, this is
a hypothetical Justice Bieber in this story is married to
hypothetical Hayley Bieber, but mom wants the marriage to be
with hypothetical Selena Gomez, who she had always thought was
really the one for hypothetical Justin Bieber. YEP, that's all
this is. I completely agree. Thanks for putting it in

(30:19):
terms that I understand. Thank You're welcome. Thank you're welcome.
Thank you for understanding. I come to find out my
mother in law still chats with her. While I was there,
I was forced to talk to this woman and pretend
to be friendly with her. Then his mom makes this
snarky comment to the ex girlfriend that they dated for
eight years and that's a.

Speaker 1 (30:37):
Really long time to be with someone.

Speaker 2 (30:39):
Blah blah blah, as if she was trying to rub
it in my face. I'm just like, Wow, that's crazy.
He dated someone for eight years and didn't want to
marry her.

Speaker 5 (30:47):
Ooh, that's a great thing to say. No, you've been
forced into this position, so I can't. That was the
perfect response.

Speaker 2 (30:59):
I get why it may be confusing why he didn't
get married to someone he dated for eight years, because
that's almost a decade. But he told me he just
never loved her in that way. She kept bringing up
her job and all the things going on in her life,
trying to make me feel inferior. After that, I was
done with his mom. I don't give an f about her.
I told him what she did, that she obviously planned
for this woman to come so she could try to

(31:20):
mess with my head. My husband was also upset that
she did that and did stick up for me. It
kind of created a rift in their relationship as well.
They weren't talking as much, and of course she blamed
me for that. She claimed that I turned her son
against her and that he's whipped. Why would she say
that about her daughter in law? We finally had to
sit down talk about what was going on. We each

(31:40):
had a turn to speak about the problem, so I
said my part. Then she said her real reason for
hating me. She thinks I married her son for his money.
She says that when he met me, I didn't have
a penny to my name, and that really hurt me
because I grew up poor. She's mad that he didn't
get a prenup and it's a standard procedure when someone
has a certain wealth status. She said his last girlfriend

(32:01):
was perfect for him because they had careers and wealth
and she was blonde. That comment made my stomach turn
because I'm black. Oh, man, might as well have just said, man,
she was perfect because she had a job and she
wasn't black and she yeah, and also you're black and
blah blah blah. I don't like that you're black, Like, yeah,

(32:21):
what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (32:22):
Blonde?

Speaker 2 (32:23):
You might as well have been like, oh, well, she
has blonde.

Speaker 3 (32:25):
Hair, blue eyes, you know, perfect.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
I like the literature she reads.

Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yeah, whatever, dude, that's crazy.

Speaker 3 (32:34):
Oh my god, it's an absurd thing to just like
slip in there.

Speaker 2 (32:38):
I got this sick feeling that it was the real
reason she hates me, not because I was poor, but
because of my skin color. She also said that she
hopes we never have children, which is something we both
want dearly, and I couldn't help but get emotional about that.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
By the way, you can get.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
Emotional listening to full episodes with stories just like this
on Spotify app podcasts, iHeartRadio. Wherever you listen to podcasts,
just search Okay, Storytime, and that's all you need to do.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
It's so easy.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
You'll find over two thousand episodes to listen to. Wow, Uh,
there is a little bit more story left here. We
actually kind of a decent chunk amount. But like, do
you have a solution to this awful mother in law?

Speaker 3 (33:23):
I don't know what you do with a mother in
law that is, I don't know what to do with those.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
Yeah. I think you just completely disregard her from now on.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
Yeah, you'll have.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
To, especially if she's like low key just not even
low key, just high key telling a black woman that
you were like, yeah, his extra is perfect because she
was blonde.

Speaker 3 (33:44):
Just adding that in as if we wouldn't notice.

Speaker 2 (33:46):
Just like we see like, oh and coincidentally, there are
no blonde black people right right, unless You'm, well, actually,
I don't know. Maybe you can with a very specific
if they have sessta leels, yeah, I don't know, or whatio.

Speaker 3 (34:03):
Or something, or have certain pigmentation things. I'm sure it exists,
but typically, But.

Speaker 2 (34:10):
That was very much just an underhanded way of saying
like I wish you were white, yeah, which is crazy, Yeah,
and would make sense why she's so anti U.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
Yeah, No one is going to care about someone's hair
color if they don't actually mean their skin color. You
know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (34:26):
Like that kind of right right. My husband thinks I'm
taking the blonde part the wrong way, but he agrees
the statement about the children is low. Well, dude, yeah,
she's not saying anything about the kids if she's not like,
I don't want you to have mixed race kids.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yeah, so of course the hair thing is the same thing.

Speaker 3 (34:41):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
Can you get one of those and not get the
other one?

Speaker 3 (34:45):
They are?

Speaker 1 (34:45):
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (34:46):
I realize he grew up in a small town where
there's nothing but white people. His mom imagined him with
a white woman, and he brings home a poor black
girl and marries her in six months. It all makes
sense now. He keeps saying that she doesn't hate me.
She's just stuck in her way and is very traditional
aka stuck in her ways and very traditional in this
context is just yeah, she's just stuck in her ways.

(35:07):
She's very traditional. She hates black people. Yeah, but it's okay.

Speaker 3 (35:12):
But no, No, it.

Speaker 2 (35:14):
Does hurt that he can't just call it what it
is and stop making excuses for her. I would never
in my life try to get my husband to choose
between me and his mom, because that's just not right.
But I seriously don't want this woman in my life
nor our unborn children's lives. He obviously doesn't want that.
But I don't know where to go from here.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
Comment number one.

Speaker 2 (35:34):
Here, he's going to continuously make excuses for her. You
have to decide if you're okay with that. She's not
going anywhere. She's rist and he either doesn't see it
as that or he's willing to overlook it. I know
you may love him, but to try to keep this
woman in your life shows he doesn't care about you.
I meant to ask your husband why his mother would
prefer a blonde. There's no reason she being you deserve

(35:54):
the right to not be around her. That ain't your mother?
Oh p he said, exactly. We have been over it
too much many times. He is living in denial because
to him, blonde is just a hair color and nothing more.
Comments like that tend to go over people's heads who
have never been exposed to racial microaggressions like that. But
like you said, she's not my mother, so I have
no desire to be in her life. Comment three says
his mom is he is an apologist. You do what

(36:17):
you will with that information. All I will say is
do not bring by racial children into this world.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
Knowing this, Oh p downvoted.

Speaker 2 (36:25):
I think he's just sticking up for his mom and
wants to keep the image he has of her just
being perfect. I would never want to bring my children
into a family where their grandma will make them feel
horrible about themselves.

Speaker 1 (36:35):
Reply.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
See, just with this comment, you're protecting this man. Why, well,
because he's your husband. Yet his mom can say whatever
and he doesn't protect you his wife.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
Guys, why are we.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
Protect Why are we pretending though, like that's not complicated.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
Yeah, that is true.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
It's not like.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
His mom like was like just dropping like flat out
racial slurs and being like you're disgusting and I hate you.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
Sure, and as being like, she's just true. Additional like yeah,
being told I don't know.

Speaker 2 (37:04):
I've been told information about people that completely flipped my
perspective on them. But the moment I was told it,
I didn't just do a one to eighty and go okay.
It was like it had to bake, It had to
sink in. I had to see things for myself.

Speaker 3 (37:19):
Right, you gotta get more context of the situation. Yeah,
but the internet doesn't like right, the Internet likes to And.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
It is important though, like if he is that he's
not seeing this, you need to continue to try to
make him see this.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
Yes, it's not just like a oh, we'll put it.

Speaker 2 (37:36):
Oh, well, it's like a well it's I don't think
he's the devil, but I also don't think it's good
that he doesn't see his mom would be to his
own children.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
In what other situations is he gonna you know, like,
are if people are microaggressive towards his children, is he
going to ignore that let happen or something? You know,
it can cause some other problem.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
If the roles were reversed, you would never allow that
to happen. He's a grown man, he's not a child anymore.
And wife should come before mom, because you are now
his future. Really decide if a husband who won't protect
you is the husband for you. Opie says, he has
stood up for me before, just not when it comes
to the discriminatory comment. I can't make him cut her out.
It's something he has to decide on his own. If

(38:17):
I get in his ear and tell him to cut
her off because she's a horrible person, then he'll just
be upset with me. I think it's something he has
to figure out on his own. And as long as
he understands, I won't nor will our kids be around
her coming for says, Ask him if he can truly
one hundred percent believe that his mom will indefinitely show
your future children love and kindness, that she won't be
cruel or constantly make remarks that they're inferior in her mind.

(38:38):
And if he thinks your children deserve that treatment because well,
she's stuck in her ways.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
Opie says.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
He thinks that she'll come around when we actually have children,
because she loves kids. But I don't believe it. Ooh,
and I don't want to risk my children's mental health
on it. I lived through a spiteful grandma, and no
kid deserves that. There's a reply. Has she ever been
around non white kids? Opie says, probably not. Lives in
a small town with only white people, so unless she
traveled somewhere, then there's a possibility. And that is the

(39:05):
end of that story. My mother is furious that I
got engaged. She thinks I'm too young.

Speaker 3 (39:12):
You can't do it, you too little. She did it while.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
Pinching your cheeks. At'd be great.

Speaker 3 (39:21):
Young too, kiek commune.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
My mother and I have always had a very up
and down relationship. We are either best friends or screaming
at each other. But over the past few years she's
quit work and I've gotten my mental health under control,
so we've been best friends ninety percent of the time.

Speaker 1 (39:37):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
By the way, this comes from user Judiciary Giraffe, and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay storytime separated it. So, my mother
has always been very against getting married young. She is
completely convinced that you will not last if you get
married young, that you change too much in your twenties,
and it's.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
Without fail, a terrible idea. Blah blah blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (39:58):
I disagree with her a sa ve and have many
friends that have gotten married in their twenties and are
very happy. She dismisses all those cases and instead tells
me a few of her own anecdotes, which apparently should
be taken as fact. I generally just rolled my eyes
at this point and moved on, as this isn't something
I really felt the need to get worked up about.
Mom informed me when I was twenty and first met

(40:18):
my significant other that I wasn't allowed to get engaged
until I was twenty six. I jokingly haggled her down
from thirty and married until I'm twenty eight. She also
enforced a strict rule at that as soon as I
move in with, or get engaged to, or just generally
pair off semi permanently with someone, that I was one
hundred percent cut off financially. This included school fees. My

(40:39):
parents are quite wealthy and we're paying my tuition at
the time, although I paid my own living expenses. So
I met my fiance, who I'm going to call John,
in my third year of my undergraduate degree. I was
going to school on the east coast of Canada and
my parents live in the west. We fell for each
other instantly and began dating. We were talking about being

(41:00):
together long term after a few months, much to my
shock and surprise, due to Mom's no financial help if
you move in together rule. When I decided to go
to law school, John and I put off living together
for a few years so that I could.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
Get help with my law school tuition.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
We were planning on spending our lives together anyway, getting
engaged could wait a few years if it meant we
wouldn't have to carry law school dead around for the
rest of our lives. That being said, we would spend
most nights together at one apartment or the other, usually
staking out at my apartment so I didn't have to
carry all my law textbooks around. Mom was well aware
of this, and, other than a couple of snarky comments

(41:35):
about not having fun with dating around and being with
someone below the pay grades she would expect, John is
in the army, and as I mentioned, I grew.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
Up quite wealthy. Other than this, she was generally fine
with it.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
I graduated from law school this past spring and began
articling almost immediately. I also began the process of moving
into John's apartment, although my lease didn't expire until the
end of August, so I'm still keeping my apartment for
when he's on exercise because it's closer to my work
and there was no point in rushing the horror that
is moving. John and I took a trip out west

(42:09):
to celebrate my dad's sixty fifth birthday. Because it's quite
a long trip, we turned it into a mini holiday,
spending a lot of time in the mountains, which I
missed dearly living out East. During this holiday, at the
top of a favorite hike, John proposed, que so cute.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
Oh, it's cute.

Speaker 6 (42:28):
I am worried about the bag though, about his his bag, No,
about her bag, her bag.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
She don't got no bag. Well, her parents are like, we.

Speaker 3 (42:36):
Will cover you until you get married.

Speaker 2 (42:38):
Yeah, but then she still got the bag. I guarantee
you there's a trust fund in this situation.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Somewhere she shall have to wait for.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
She's just not getting like monthly payments anymore. Yeah, she
still got assets on deck. Mon helps a lot, sure,
but like, come on, honestly, if you have a family
of your own, like, I don't think you should be
getting paid monthly bamits.

Speaker 6 (43:00):
Oh yeah, I mean I'm not, but I'm just saying,
in this particular situation, that'd be nice.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
Ooh ooh, Now I'm thinking on your train of thought here. Yep,
you know exactly I said, all aboard.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
I just hopped on.

Speaker 2 (43:10):
What's the next thing we need to do after being proposed?
This is the only way I would be okay with
doing this?

Speaker 1 (43:16):
What the prenup? No? No, no, no. The other thing
you try to choke hold me to do? Oh, the
secret wedding. No way that I would have.

Speaker 2 (43:24):
Never thought you were gonna I'm on board here and
Chris in the secret wedding.

Speaker 1 (43:27):
Yeah, and this one, oh yeah. It was like a
fairy tale.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
It was exactly as I would have wanted it in
an ideal world. We were so happy and made our
way back to town to celebrate with my parents. When
we got home and announced the news, Dad burst into.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
Happy tears and came to hug us both okay.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
Mom went stone cold, gave us the most awkward, stilted
hugs of all time, and barely spoke for the rest
of the evening. All she would say is Dad was
congratulating us, was that she hoped it worked out. I
was rush. It took all of my self control, not
to burst into tears and all of John's not to
go off on her. That crazy, awkward night was last Friday,

(44:08):
and we were due to leave first things Sunday morning.
I had a good cry that night, and John and
I decided that maybe if we can get her excited
about individual aspects of the wedding, she'll accept that her
baby girl is old enough to get married and maybe
being engaged at twenty four is not the end of
the world. So Saturday night, Dad decides he wants to
take us all out to this beautiful dinner to celebrate.
He picks a place Mom at doors on purpose, manages

(44:29):
to get us in last minute by some miracle, and
orders champagne everything. After the initial toast, we don't talk
about the engagement much because although Mom is less outright angry,
she still refuses input, aside from one word when Dad
asks her a direct question. When dessert comes, the waiter
asks about when the wedding will be, so the topic
comes up again when he leaves. I suggest that my

(44:50):
mom and her sister come out east at some point
to go wedding dress shopping. That's a moment every mom
waits for. Right wrong, She mutters something about ew something
else I'll have to pay for all, which my dad
responds with, Oh, come on, oh PE's mom.

Speaker 1 (45:06):
Yeah, whose money is this?

Speaker 6 (45:07):
I know as a couple, you guys both have money
and it's both of your money, and I agree with that,
and this is really a wrong question.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
I'm thinking about it. Whose money was it?

Speaker 2 (45:17):
Well, I think regardless of that, it's just weird that
you're like, all right, once you get married, you're cut off,
and now at the very finish line you're like, great,
one more thing. It's like it's the wedding dress, and
then after that literally nothing ever again you're gonna complain
about that? Feels weird. It feels weird.

Speaker 6 (45:33):
Wow, So everyone's saying twenty four is a great age.
You get engaged too? Can everyone clip that?

Speaker 1 (45:39):
Thank you? Stop it? I'm not for me. Riley's building
is a gender. I don't want to get engaged.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
I had no plans to ask for money for the wedding,
zero none, not a I'm making good money articling, and
John has been saving for years.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
We want a.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
Small wedding close to home, at a friend's property outside
of town. Mom goes on a tirade about how I've
always just taken advantage of her financial generosity, and now
that it was convenient, I was breaking her trust by
getting engaged this young when I knew she was against it,
and so on and so forth. She stormed into the
bathroom and I went to go cry outside. It was

(46:18):
a disaster. Dad suggested John and I take a cab home,
and we did and went straight to my room. We
left Sunday morning with a stilted hug, and I haven't
talked to Mom since.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
From what Dad tells me, she's still refusing to.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
Admit she was wrong. Dad also won't push back too much.
Although he disagrees with her, he doesn't want to destroy
his marriage, and I didn't expect him to. Dad has
also dismissed all indications that I work out a payment
plan to pay them back for my law school tuition,
saying it was important to them that they invest in
my education.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
I am heartbroken.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
I am very close to my mom and I want
her desperately as an integral part of my wedding. At
the same time, I am a self supporting adult. John
and I know this is what we want, and this
wedding is going forward next autumn regardless of her judgment. Honestly,
we feel we have put off enough for my mother
and this is absurd. I just don't know how to
convince her that this is not going to end in disaster.

Speaker 1 (47:10):
I really want her to be a part of this. Help.

Speaker 6 (47:13):
I'm all for some people have their own way of thinking,
and you just gotta let them live that way, and
they're probably gonna die that way.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
Change them. It's like, sad, it's hard.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
How do I change someone? It's a question in and
of itself. The change has to come from within someone.
So it's like if anyone' seen the movie Inception, It's like,
how do I plant that little seed inside someone's brain
that makes them want to change? Yeah, and I think
if you want to get your mom on board here,
then it needs to be instead of being about like

(47:42):
what you want from her, just tell her like where
you're actually at with this guy, and that you just
want her to be there as your mom, not someone who's.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
Like disappointed in you. Agreed. There's an edit.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
Thank you all so much for your thoughts. This is
definitely a situation that requires time. I will most likely
talk to my sometime this weekend, since I need to
ask dad about something, and if I call the house,
we'll probably end up talking.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
I'll let you guys know about any developments.

Speaker 2 (48:07):
John would also like to give his thanks since we've
been reading your responses together and it's helped him see
the situation rationally as well.

Speaker 1 (48:14):
And we're at the update, folks.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
Let go ahead and dive or right into it update.

Speaker 1 (48:22):
Thank you all for your advice. It was so useful
to ac.

Speaker 2 (48:25):
I wasn't crazy b understand my mother's possible motivations and
see have some general consensus to be patient. So Mom
called a couple times over the past couple weeks to
ask about work, update me on the family whatever. I
didn't bring up the wedding. I figured she could bring
it up when she got curious enough to apologize. Last night,
I called Mom to ask her about one of her recipes,
and she, out of nowhere, asked if we'd set a

(48:48):
date for the wedding yet.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
I told her not exactly.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
But we were planning on early October twenty sixteen. She
then asked if we wanted it west or east, and
I told her east because John's family doesn't have the
money to go out.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
Weaste. There was a pause that seemed like an eternity
before she finally said, I'm sorry, I've been so classless.
Judiciary giraffe, this just really wasn't what I expected for you.
I asked her what she was expecting, trying not to
sound as snarky as I felt, and she went into
this thing about how she thought I should focus on
my career and then marry someone with similar goals in
a similar background.

Speaker 5 (49:22):
Hmmm.

Speaker 2 (49:22):
I would like to take this time to congratulate myself
for not losing my mind at her over the phone.
At this point, I told her I was focusing on
my career. No one has been more supportive than John,
and I don't have to worry about dating. John and
I have very similar life goals. We both want to
be working parents, have two kids, but not for another
five years or so, et cetera, et cetera. And then
I pointed out that if everyone was as classist as

(49:45):
she was being, my wealthy father never would have married
someone from a blue collar family like her, even if
she ended up in a professional career.

Speaker 1 (49:52):
Oh my god, mom's blue collar being like ah, I
thought you'd be more like me and marry a man
for his.

Speaker 2 (50:01):
Money, your own medicine oh my god.

Speaker 3 (50:06):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
I was honestly expecting a massive backlash for that comment,
but she just went quiet. I told her, and I
remember this verbatim quote. I love you, mom, and I
know you love me, so I need you to love
John too. This may not be what you would have done,
but I'm not you and I am happy. John is
a fantastic man. She burst into tears. He talked for
about an hour. She apologized to me at my insistence,

(50:29):
and should be calling tonight to apologize to John as well.

Speaker 1 (50:32):
He was out last night. She's done the one eighty.

Speaker 2 (50:36):
I feel like it was kind of the same as
similar to my advice, but it definitely was like way
more like I need you to change your behavior.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
This is my need. Like he was like, Yeah, I
love this guy. I love you, I know you love me.
I need you to love this guy as well because
he's great. Yeah, and he's about to be your son
in law.

Speaker 6 (50:55):
Yeah, that's coming for Christmas and Canadian Thanksgiving if they
celebrate that.

Speaker 1 (51:01):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (51:01):
Yes, she apologized to me, and at my insistence, should
be calling tonight to apologize to John as well. Apparently,
part of the reason she was so upset was that
she thought if she had the no money if you
move in together or get engaged rule, we would break up.
Before I finished law school. I got a little irritated
at this. Why would you want me to break up
with someone that makes me happy? But if she honestly
thought he was a fling and didn't want me marrying

(51:23):
someone that was going to end up with inevitable divorce, eh,
not worth the argument. I told her as long as
she could respect John now, it didn't matter what she did.
But if she didn't respect our marriage, she would be
out of the wedding planning and possibly our future life.
And she agreed with the sentiment. And by the way,
you she'd agree with the sentiment that you can listen

(51:43):
to full episodes with stories just like this on Spotify, iHeartRadio,
Apple Podcasts, and wherever you listen to podcasts.

Speaker 1 (51:52):
Just search what Riley Okay story time the name of
this show. Really, that's all you gotta do.

Speaker 2 (51:58):
And then you will find over two thousand episodes worth
of stories.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
Enough to make the Grinch happy.

Speaker 2 (52:04):
Mmm. Man, he's a tough customer. We have a little
bit more story left, Ali, do you have any closing
thoughts here?

Speaker 1 (52:09):
I'm glad this mom's seeing through the fog.

Speaker 2 (52:11):
Yeah, and I'm just gonna recycle back to that one
point I made, which is when you want people to change,
you can't.

Speaker 1 (52:17):
It kind of has to be a little soft. I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (52:19):
Look, not every situation is like a blanket one, right,
But it's like someone who's that stubborn about something so
like fundamental, where it's like that guy's not good enough
for you. All right, Well, I actually love you, and
I know you love me, and since I the one
you love, love that guy, maybe it would be nice

(52:39):
if you cared about that as well. Exactly, let's finish
this story. I'm wary, super wary, but I'm also going
to give her the benefit of the doubt for now.
I want her to be a part of this, but
I'm also not going to be surprised if her classist
tendencies are a running issue that won't have to be addressed.
So I'm keeping her at an arm's length. John is
less optic. I suppose I would be too if my

(53:02):
mother in law basically said I wasn't good enough for
her child. But he is happy that I'm happy. I'm
declining any offer of money from her from now on.

Speaker 1 (53:09):
If I know her, there.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
Will be one because that's her favorite method of control.
Although both parents have insisted that I not pay them
back for law school, so.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
I won't be all right.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
And there's another very very tiny little micro update before
we finish. She called John tonight. It was kind of awkward,
but she apologized, so that's what matters. Their relationship will
warm up over time, I'm sure. Thank you all for
your kind words.

Speaker 4 (53:31):
Happy ending, and that is the end of that story, folks,
and I feel like, wow, hey, it's Sam. We're gonna
get back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads
from our sponsors.

Speaker 6 (53:42):
My father chose his mother in law over me. I
don't want in my life anymore.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
I mean, would she choose her for kickball or like what?
Let's find out?

Speaker 6 (53:52):
Hi everyone, I seventeen female. Am only really posting this
since my dad's family and even my mom are telling
me that I'm in the row. By the way this
comes from, I'm just to pick one three and if
you were to sing your own stories, good to our slashi. Okay,
storytime subred. So my parents got divorced when I was
twelve and they had a fifty to fifty custody, so
I would stay with my dad for a week and

(54:13):
then my mom. When I was fourteen, my dad got
married to my stepmom. I referred to her as his
wife and I would only see them on the weekends
until they moved, and I only saw them whenever they visited.
My mom got full custody. Anyways, last month, they moved
back to our city and got a two bedroom house.
My dad promised me the room before he moved back
and told me he would do fifty to fifty again

(54:34):
if me and my mom were okay with it, and
we were. I was so excited and I got to
pick out my furniture and bought stuff to decorate it. Anyways,
they moved into the house and invited me. They gave
me a tour and showed me my room in air quotes.
I asked when I could start putting things in it,
and that's when they told me that they were actually
going to give the room to his wife's mom, and

(54:58):
since I was going away to college soon, it wasn't
like I was going to do much with the room.
They also told me that instead of staying the full week,
that I can go on the weekends and sleep on
their couch if I wanted to. I said no to
that and texted my mom to pick me up. It's
been a month and I goes to my dad fully.
He even tried to come to talk to me, but

(55:18):
I was at school. He's been contact with my mom
to what he hates doing. So I just decided that
I didn't want to be in his life anymore or
have him in mind, even though I barely did. I
talked to my mom, and for someone who hates my dad,
she told me that I should just talk to him
and spend time with him. Since I barely got to
for two years, I just decided to cut him off.

(55:39):
It sounds impulsive, I know, but I sent him a
long message detailing how emotionally neglected and wanted he wanted
me to fill and to never contact me again. I
blocked him and blocked his side of the family. This
is a seventeen year old girl.

Speaker 1 (55:53):
Also, yeah, I was about to say seventeen. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (55:56):
In the morning, my mom woke up at five am
and asked what I did. Almost my dad's attires side
of the family have been blowing up her phone asking
what she said, Slash, did that make me want me
to cut off my dad during school. I even got
a few messages from my cousins on Insta that I
forgot to block, insulting me. My mom showed me some
of the messages, and some are insulting both of us.

(56:17):
My dad send a message apologizing to me and said
I broke his heart. His wife is sending disgusting messages
towards my mom. I feel awful because I didn't expect
them to attacked not only me but my mom partially
at that I feel like I messed up, and I
want to know if what I did was the right thing.
We have a small update real quick. Probably talk to
your school counselor sounds like a good place to start

(56:37):
for blocking everybody.

Speaker 2 (56:38):
God, it's just such an overwhelming place to be at
that age. Like if your school has resources, it's hard
to be like lean on your friends because they're also
like seventeen.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
Yeah, you know, it's like.

Speaker 2 (56:50):
It's really hard to feel like you can get guidance
at that age. At least from what I remember, it's
like it was really hard for me to look at
like my parents or like other adults like at that age,
like real mentors. It was more like people who were
also like maybe in their twenties, but then also not
always the best model. You know, for a mentor, I
would just try to, like talk to your parents, talk

(57:12):
to your dad, right, like, well.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
That's what she doesn't want to do.

Speaker 2 (57:15):
I know, but sometimes the things we don't want to
do are the very things keeping us from what we want.

Speaker 1 (57:20):
So you're saying, do what your mom says to talk
to your dad.

Speaker 2 (57:23):
In this context, it's like, you can't just have your
dad blocked forever. You need to just have kind of
what you've expressed to him in the process of blocking him,
but express it in the context of a conversation. Instead
of just being like, hey, here's the last thing I
ever say to you, it needs to be like no,
like I need just.

Speaker 6 (57:39):
Discuss yeah, and agreed Lydia the stepmom and adults are
handling to this wrong. I don't need to be insulting
a seventeen year old girl. Gosh, people have emotions at
that age. Small update, my mom talked to my dad
and set up a time to talk tomorrow after school.
My mom's making me talk to him and recoitile, but
I really don't want to. I'm trying to convince her
not to force me too, but she's threatening to take

(58:02):
away my phone sized laptop that I need for school
and other things.

Speaker 1 (58:05):
I'll update you guys tomorrow present.

Speaker 6 (58:07):
Doug forty two says, unblock him temporarily to let him
know that his family and wife pestering you and your
mom is exactly why you want no contact with any
of them. He continues to take no accountability for his
actions and blame you and your mom. Instead, tell him
your mom is against your decision, but his family's attack
has reassured you that you made the right choice. I

(58:28):
would even send screenshots of messages, ask him to call
off his family and nasty wife that for now you
stand by your decision and that maybe in the future
you will change your mind, but if it continues, it
will only drive you further from him. At that point,
you can either leave him unblocked to get responses or reblocked.
Sparkye Girl says this is not okay.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
You're not the a hole.

Speaker 6 (58:49):
Your dad took away your room to give to his
wife's mother and then said you can sleep on the couch. WTF.
How often does her mom visit? He barely saw you
or made any effort. Why keep emotionally damaging herself. I'd
tell his family, Well, he chose his wife over me
years ago. I guess I shouldn't be surprised he chose
her mother over me too. I decided I don't deserve

(59:11):
to be treated as an old sweater, only useful when
he needs me.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
And Nope says yeah exactly. And also, for my knowledge,
not too much. Her mom is wild and goes to
Vegas a lot, basically lives there, and she's rarely home
in her own house now, so it's like she won't
be in the room much either unless she's back in town,
to which a lot as to why she probably needs
to pay bills, Thank you so much, And we got

(59:35):
an update two days later. Hmmm.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
I think I'm all for expressing all the things you're
feeling about how your dad's treated you. I don't think
that you need to necessarily look at it as like
and the end result needs to be reconciliation. Really, just
approach it as like, I'm gonna get all this off my.

Speaker 1 (59:49):
Chest, tell you how I feel, and you gotta handle
this as an adult. Yep, be on my sign, and.

Speaker 2 (59:54):
Then you can't control how he responds. But you can
let his response inform how you're going to like future
respond interact with him going forward.

Speaker 6 (01:00:04):
Are update two. Hi guys, right now, I'm at a
friend's house and going to stay the night. If you
saw the small update I did on my last post,
blah blah blah blah blah, I made sure to try
and mentally prepare what I wanted to say slash do.
I really didn't want to talk to him, but since
I was forced, I decided to take some advice from
my last post and basically just talk about the few

(01:00:25):
times I felt neglected and why I wanted to cut
him off, including the intimidation from his family. When I
got there, I thought it was just going to be him,
me and my mom, but I was wrong. My mom
came inside with me, but my dad told me to
sit in the dining room and wait. They stayed talking
at the door, and I went to the dining room.
My dad's wife, who i'll just call Becca since it's

(01:00:47):
close to her name, and her mom were sitting there.
They told me to sit down while we wait for
my dad. These women look so angry at me, and
I felt uncomfortable. I sat and was on my phone
and I could just feel them staring at me. I
just wanted to get up and leave, but my dad
eventually came and sat down and he told me we
needed to talk. But I asked him where my mom was,
and he said that she left, and I asked why,

(01:01:09):
and he ignored me, and he started talking about how
sorry he was for what I felt about. Beckis mom
wanted the room and we already broke her lease from
her apartment and was thinking about quitting her job. Guys,
this lady is fifty three and acts like she's my age.
She's gotten fired from all her jobs or quit because
they were hard for everyone. Thinking of a small, fro

(01:01:32):
old lady, you're wrong. Picture someone who loves Vegas, drinking
and partying. There you go, fifty three, that's so young,
putting your.

Speaker 1 (01:01:40):
Young to be like, I'll never work again for us
my life.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
I guess I'm gonna just go work at the casino.
Why are these people even involved? I don't know, you know,
I feel like some of this is like also, as
a dad, why don't you want your mother in law
living with you? I mean, I'm future mother in law
would be great, but I'm just saying, why would you
put yourself up for that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
Ah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
This is a really tough situation to be in at
that age. And it's like the responses like, well, you
get in there. And though these the stepmom and her
daughter are like staring daggers through you, the reaction to
that shouldn't be like to be passive and like on
your phone. The reaction should be all right, let's get
in front of it, be like say, hey, so I
noticed you guys have a problem with me, clearly because
I wasn't born yesterday.

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
Not everyone's built like you, my dog. I know, I know.
That's what it's hard to tell someone who's seventeen.

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
Like again, I wouldn't do that at seventeen, but it's
like that situation demands like getting in front of it,
like taking the reins, but you can't.

Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
It's so hard to do that at seventeen. You know,
I was mad.

Speaker 6 (01:02:31):
They all took turns talking and basically said words that mean,
we're sorry if you're upset, but you're dramatic, and you
being dramatic affects us, so we'll give you a bunch
of excuses and make you seem like the bad guy.
I just wanted to leave, so I said something like,
this isn't just because of the room, it's the promises
that were broken and how you treat me. I'd give

(01:02:52):
them examples of things that he's done to hurt me,
including intimidation, and when I mentioned it, Becka snorted and
rolled her eyes at me and told me, and I'm
being dramatic with the word harassment, and it was towards
my mom, not me. Me and Becker I got into
an argument, but it was more like me going okay, sure,
but you still did this and you're excusing it and

(01:03:12):
raising her voice. I decided to end that and just
tell them that I'm not going to reconcile with him.
If I have to talk to them in the future,
I will only if necessary, but for now I don't
want to build a relationship since we haven't had one
in years. When I asked when my mom was coming back,
they told me she wasn't until Monday. This is when
I got really upset and went outside. I didn't want
to be inside or around them at all. I called

(01:03:34):
and text my mom for an hour straight. I even
walked to a small plaza nearby so I could just
be away from them and my mom didn't answer and
it was getting late.

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
This is so waw dude, like so now thrusting.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
The mom's broken now because she lied and was like, yeah, oh,
I'll set you up and we'll have a conversation. Then
she ditched you and she's like, actually, you're gonna spend
a weekend with the people you despise.

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
Yeah, that was such a huge whiff from the mom
right there.

Speaker 6 (01:03:58):
I didn't want to involve my friends or anything, but
it seemed like the only choice. So I asked one
of my friends if she could come pick me up
and if I could stay with her. She said yes,
And now I'm at her house. She's doing homework right now,
so I'm just in her living room watching TV waiting
for her to be done. Her mom told me I
could stay the whole weekend if I'm okay with going
to church on Sunday and can borrow my friend's clothes.

(01:04:19):
Classic move and another classic move is for you to
go to your favorite podcast platform right now.

Speaker 1 (01:04:25):
Where could that be to Goda, It could.

Speaker 2 (01:04:27):
Be Spotify or iHeartRadio or Apple Podcasts and search up
these magic words okay, story time and boom, you will
be welcomed with so many stories. Your heart has to
be consent, and.

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
Your heart's getting go no no, no no.

Speaker 6 (01:04:42):
And if it's non consent, we'll have more for you
coming soon.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
Eating up all that story juice and yeah, dude, clutch friend, Yeah,
good friend.

Speaker 2 (01:04:51):
It's like that was what I was going to say
when we were talking about like earlier, like all right,
who do you lean on, like your guidance counselor Like
it's like, yeah, if it was me, i'd be like friends,
my friends.

Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
Yeah, I must lean on my friends. But I don't know. Man,
that's crazy to think.

Speaker 2 (01:05:05):
I did see a comment where it's like, as soon
as this conversation wasn't just to you and your dad,
I would have been like, wait, hold on, this is
not what I signed up for. I'm just talking to you.
I don't have anything to say to these people. They're
irrelevant to me. They're your family. I don't want anything
to do with them.

Speaker 6 (01:05:19):
This is me and you man. Yeah, uh, both parents
are going to lose her. Yeah, true, wrap it up.
I texted my mom and let her know I'm staying
with a friend, and I still haven't heard back from her.
I think she turned her phone off. Honestly, I want
to cry out of anger. I'm so confused as to
what happened. I'm mad, very mad, but also very numb.
I don't know what this means. I left my mom

(01:05:41):
voicemails crying asking why she left. It wasn't picking up
inventing to her. I guess maybe I feel numb because
of that. Who knows. I'll try to give you guys
an update, but who knows when that will be. Yeah,
and that's the end of that one.

Speaker 2 (01:05:56):
My mother spoiled the surprise of my engagement and won't
apologize for it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:02):
And they're about to be surprised with her funeral. What okay?
Am I the a hole for telling my mom?

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
I'm used to it after my parents ruined the surprise
of my engagement and the wedding dress. I twenty seven female,
am getting married in September twenty twenty five. I'm in
a long distance relationship. My partner lives in England and
I'm in the US. We're lucky enough that I work
remote and visit about three times a year for six
weeks at a time, and he visits me in the
US about four times a year, once a week, which

(01:06:29):
if we're doing some quick math. Well that's twenty two
weeks out of the year. That's almost half the year
they're spending together. By the way, this comes from user
glitter Glaze Glue and if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime suburnit.
So when he was planning to propose, he had asked
for my parents blessing in March twenty twenty four.

Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
My parents had.

Speaker 2 (01:06:48):
Quote assumed that I would know when he was proposing,
and my dad had told me in a conversation that
the following week he was proposing in December twenty twenty four.

Speaker 1 (01:06:59):
As you can imagine, I was upset.

Speaker 2 (01:07:01):
My mother invalidated my feelings and said I was making
it a big deal and being for not assuming it
was going to be during Christmas, because that's when both
of our families were together. My argument is that while
I could have had a hunch, I didn't want to
be told when it was, and basically could have gone
practically a whole year wondering excitedly when it would be.
For all I knew, he could have proposed before that,

(01:07:22):
and Christmas we would have had an engagement party. Anyways, basically,
my dad apologized, but my mom has stood firm on
saying I'm dramatic for being upset. Since then, more things
have gone wrong and has started to leave me just
so sad about wedding planning. None of this has been
a good experience, and I've started to feel like it's
a chore. Flash forward to today. My partner is visiting

(01:07:44):
just for one week, and while we're all sitting on
the couch in the living room, my mom randomly turns
to me and goes, have you picked up your veil
from the bridal store yet, right in front of him.
Why why, mother, why can't you let her have a
nice thing. My partner smiles and goes, oh, you're wearing
a veil, and I just got super frustrated. There are
only two surprises in a wedding, the engagement and the dress,

(01:08:07):
and both of them have been handled so carelessly.

Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
So I turned to my.

Speaker 2 (01:08:11):
Mom and said, he please not mention anything about the dress,
not the shoes, not nothing. I don't want him knowing anything.
She rolls her eyes, walks around, and about ten minutes
later gives a half hearted apology, just saying sorry, ope,
and I replied, it's fine, I'm used to it at
this point. And now she's gone back and locked herself
in the room, So I guess I'm not the a
hole for being upset.

Speaker 6 (01:08:31):
Nah, she's a human, she's an adult that should be
able to regulate her emotions, you know, averagely or like
an average adult.

Speaker 1 (01:08:39):
So yeah, don't you big facts.

Speaker 2 (01:08:41):
I don't want to reach I feel like your mom ooh,
because it's such an illogical route to travel after like
just making a mistake and then you go, oh my god,
that's terrible.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
I made a mistake.

Speaker 2 (01:08:56):
One thing about They literally almost it would make them
physical ill to admit something like that, so they just
can't do it. And that's what this feels like. And
then you're like, oh, I'm used to it. Another perceived imperfection.
Now it's gonna go take that real personally until you
say I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. It's not real
nice anyway. Boom, there's an edit here. I know a

(01:09:16):
lot of people are asking if this is like her.

Speaker 1 (01:09:19):
It isn't.

Speaker 2 (01:09:19):
She has already had one of her four daughters get married.

Speaker 1 (01:09:22):
I'm the second.

Speaker 2 (01:09:23):
She never ruined the engagement or the dress, and she
seemed to care a whole lot more about her than
she has me during this time. Nowadays, a lot of
brides up to wear veils and tiaras and hats, embellishments,
or nothing at all.

Speaker 1 (01:09:36):
I forgot to mention that my fiance had told me
he didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
Want to know if I was wearing a veil or anything,
and wanted it to be a surprise. Since he's very
mild tempered and sweet. He was surprised, but was trying
to be nice in his reaction because he knew I'd
be upset. There are some comments substantial Air says not
the Ahle, but your parents are on an information diet.
Also know in the future they're always going to do this.
Maybe be prepared for some odd ball wedding toast for them.

(01:10:00):
Structure Key twenty seven thirty nine. I'm used to it
at this point is a brilliant, well deserved answer. Now
she's sulking in her room, Leave her there Mdr nineteen
seventy three.

Speaker 1 (01:10:10):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:10:10):
Let her stay in there as long as she wants to.
Don't give her the attention she's looking for. Your mother
sounds toxic. Stop telling her things and we have an update.
Uh oh, I think the wedding happened.

Speaker 6 (01:10:21):
Oh right, she's probably gonna find something else to do
and reveal it to the groom.

Speaker 1 (01:10:25):
My money's on more mom centered shenanigans. My money's on
I don't know, probably that too, mom centric shenaniganry.

Speaker 6 (01:10:33):
Yep, all right, yay, Or the mother in law gets
in on it, and it's just like a double whammy.
I usually just have one mother that's crazy, not too What.

Speaker 2 (01:10:40):
If the mother in law and the mother have an
exhibitionist boxing match they put it on pay per view?

Speaker 1 (01:10:45):
All right, let's get the update.

Speaker 2 (01:10:47):
So for context, a lot of things have gone wrong
since we've been in talks of getting engaged. Obviously, my
dad had told me about the engagement, but then other
things went wrong, like my partner's sister causing drama the
day before our engagement, the day of our engagement going
horribly wrong, to the point my partner told me he'd
propose again. Finding out last month that my partner's dad
got remarried a year ago, secretly we didn't even know

(01:11:09):
he was dating anyone, and him asking for a plus
one for the wife no one had even heard of,
while also telling my partner he's ridiculous for being upset
because it isn't a big deal, and my best friend
bailing on my bachelorette for someone else's. It's safe to
say that since December it's been stressful, and those are
only the bigger issues that I mentioned. I know everyone

(01:11:31):
was saying Mom should be on an info diet, but
she already was on one by her own choice. She
hasn't asked or been part of anything by her own design,
and it's felt like she couldn't care less about the wedding.
The only time she cared was when she found out
we were only inviting forty people, and people she wanted
there weren't invited, like her friends who I barely see
her know, and her brother and cousin who I both

(01:11:52):
haven't seen since I was eleven. That's when she insisted
on paying for them so they could come. And that's
the only time she's asked about anything having to do
with the wedding, or, to be honest, anything involving me.
She hasn't checked in to see if me and my
partner are okay given all the other stuff that has
happened either. So I ended up speaking with my mom
a little while after what happened, and I told her

(01:12:12):
that while I know I shouldn't have said, I'm used
to it, that ultimately I'm upset because it seems nothing
has gone right. She seemed apologetic at first and said
she didn't know why she said that and knew that
she shouldn't have. I nodded and said, just please don't
say anything else regarding what you know about the dress.
She was there when I got the dress and veil

(01:12:33):
with my sisters. I then told her that I'm just
tired of things going wrong and that my partner and
I have felt super unsupported and alone. She responded back,
starting her sentence with, oh, pe, only a handful of
things have happened. I feel like you're looking for things
to be upset about. At this point, she.

Speaker 6 (01:12:48):
Listed five things that are weekly things we talk about
that are mainly people's issues, and she just briefly mentioned
them while she needs to write them out and share
it with us.

Speaker 2 (01:13:00):
You're right there at the goal line, mom, You're at
the goal line.

Speaker 1 (01:13:03):
Was to goes, Oh, all right, I'll do my best.
I love you. Yeah. She was about to feel supported
since she's like, actually, I think you're being a pain.

Speaker 2 (01:13:13):
I think you're looking for trouble, okay, and we all
know apps when you look for trouble, you give it you.

Speaker 1 (01:13:19):
Find it, isn't that right? Yup? Okay?

Speaker 2 (01:13:21):
To be honest, when she said that I kind of
lost it, I basically said that I didn't go looking
for any of this, and all of these things that
have happened to my fiance and I were out of
our control, like you're the one who brought up the veil,
not me. I didn't go looking for any of these issues.
I told her that if there was one problem, then fine,
I'd have handled it and moved on, but that the

(01:13:42):
repeated offenses coming from every angle have hurt me and
my partner. I've been trying to get over what's occurred,
but something else happens to make the wedding planning even
harder for us. I told her that my fiance and
I both have felt super alone during a time supposed
to be joyful, and that her carelessness and thoughtlessness has
been super hurtful, especially when she's continually invalidated my feelings.

(01:14:04):
She shrugged and says she's done nothing and she's not
going to talk to me or ask about me about
the other problems going on because I've been upset and
she doesn't want to deal with it. It is a crazy
thing to just say to somebody be like, no, I
just don't care that you're upset.

Speaker 1 (01:14:18):
I don't want to hear about your problems. You're upset,
I'm not going to talk to you. You just bother me.

Speaker 6 (01:14:22):
I'm thinking of a one person that if I said
that to, I'll get my head cut off.

Speaker 2 (01:14:26):
Well, if you said that to like anybody, that's I
feel like grounds to like, Well, first of all, thanks
for letting me know you don't care about me at all.
I guess I won't be calling you like I don't know.
It's just a weird, crazy thing for a parent to
say their own child about their wedding.

Speaker 1 (01:14:42):
Yeah, it's like, dude, don't talk to me. It's just
such a downer all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:14:45):
I need to see them react to each other in
public so I can get a better understanding of this dynamic. Cow.
After a lot of your comments, I realized that I
definitely was attempting to include someone who has not only
shown they should not be but that they don't want
to be involved in my wedding. My partner leaves back
to the UK today, but at this point I'm considering

(01:15:06):
eloping with him if I can when I'm visiting him
in England in May. We've already paid half of what
we owe to our venue and photographer, so canceling isn't
really an option, but maybe we'll just have the reception
instead of the ceremony. Thank you to the commenters who
pointed out that if we ever have children, to keep
the important moments to ourselves, so the gender or birthday

(01:15:27):
or names, all that stuff. I think you're right, and
that my mom has pretty much ensured she will be
on a permanent info diet for as long as she's
in my life, because if not, she'll more than likely
spoil it and then invalidate my feelings. I think ultimately
it wasn't about the veil for me. I know my
partner will still be surprised. I'm just sad because he
told me he didn't want an idea of anything and

(01:15:48):
wanted to be completely clueless about what I'd be wearing.
But ultimately this was about the continued thoughtlessness and invalidation
that's pretty much been the theme of the last four months.
If my mom had said when she was sorry, and
left it. It would have been fine, but acting like
I went looking to be upset when she randomly ruins
yet another detail is just wild to me.

Speaker 1 (01:16:10):
Quick edit.

Speaker 2 (01:16:10):
I also forgot to say yes, I am moving to England.
We are hoping to make that jump at the beginning
of twenty twenty six.

Speaker 1 (01:16:17):
Oh wow, people are talking about twenty twenty six now, Hugh.

Speaker 2 (01:16:20):
I know a lot of people are saying, completely cancel
the venue, but we already have friends and family from
my fiance side who have bought their tickets to come.

Speaker 1 (01:16:29):
At least ten have already confirmed their flights.

Speaker 2 (01:16:31):
I don't think I have the heart in me to
cost people that kind of money when they're already invested
into this.

Speaker 1 (01:16:37):
And by the.

Speaker 2 (01:16:37):
Way, you can get invested into full episodes of stories
just like this on Spotify, on iHeartRadio, on Apple podcasts
and what do they need to look.

Speaker 1 (01:16:48):
Up ok Time? Thanks Rley, Just.

Speaker 2 (01:16:54):
To look up Okay Storytime on your platform of choice
and that'll lead you to the resortrove over two thousand
episodes for you to listen to. Wow, we have a
little bit story left, fishure man, you got anything to dude,
get anything to.

Speaker 1 (01:17:10):
Add I kind of forgot what story on. Now we're
back at.

Speaker 2 (01:17:12):
The wedding, the mom's complete lack of support for the
wedding and being like all of your wedding's problems are
you just.

Speaker 1 (01:17:18):
Move to London or wherever and just do your own thing?

Speaker 2 (01:17:23):
You know, you kind of gotta own that no matter what.
You know, even if your family's super sick. If you
feel like you've got to do a thing and it's
your thing and you gotta do your own thing, you
gotta do your own thing. Man back third edit. I'm
not sure if my mom cares that I'm moving. I'm
in England for six to eight weeks at a time
every few months, so she's already used to me leaving
for a significant.

Speaker 1 (01:17:40):
Amount of time.

Speaker 2 (01:17:41):
She doesn't seem sad I'm leaving, and if anything has
said she understands why I'm moving, she is sad or
that's the real reason behind all this, I'd actually be
super surprised. I won't rule it out, but my mom
isn't the type to care about that sort of thing

Speaker 1 (01:17:53):
And I think that's the end of the story.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My boyfriend’s brother is UNCOMFORTABLE living with us… because we’re not married yet! | Reddit Stories