My boyfriend’s sister is OBSESSED with him… and I think it’s crossing the line! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2321 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are
the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcast and we have
some foundational stories coming up for you. But the thing
is this foundation needs a little support from these sponsors.
So stick around two minutes we'll get into the episode.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
My boyfriend's sister is obsessed with him, and I think
it's crossing the line.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
The lanisers send the agud oh God.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
My boyfriend nineteen male and I twenty female, have been
dating for a little over three years now. He has
one sister, twenty five female, who I feel is obsessed
with him. I was blind to it at the beginning
of our relationship, but over the last year it's been
showing more and more. And by the way, this comes
from user throwaway uh zero eight zero three two one,

(00:46):
and if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay story Time subredit. So she
calls him repeatedly, five or six times in a row,
along with multiple texts. If he doesn't answer immediately, we'll
be hanging out with friends or on a date and
she'll just do this to see what he's doing. Annoying
in any context, doing that to someone, no matter who

(01:09):
you are.

Speaker 4 (01:09):
That's annoying.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
So you're saying I shouldn't do that to you, Dakota.

Speaker 4 (01:14):
Don't do that to a single person. Don't do that
to anyone.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Anytime we go somewhere, she has to know where he's going,
what he's doing, who will be with, and what time
he'll be home. A couple of weeks ago, she came
into his room while we were laying in bed watching
a show and called him my love, just to tell
him his phone was low on pattery. On another occasion,
she sat down and petted his bare chest while.

Speaker 4 (01:38):
Talking to him, completely unnecessary.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
She has his location and watched it like a hawk
twenty four to seven, sometimes just showing up wherever.

Speaker 4 (01:48):
We were without warning.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
The all of the red flags, please, all of them.
I need them in this story right now. I have
a sister that we occasionally hang out with. When we do,
my boyfriend gets texts from his sister or her boyfriend
saying things like thanks for cheating on us, or thanks
for the invite. She has a boyfriend and she's still

(02:12):
treating her.

Speaker 5 (02:13):
Brother this night. This, this is crazy.

Speaker 4 (02:14):
Okay, we're gonna keep going really immature stuff.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Last Thursday, we were driving home from the store when
she and her boyfriend conveniently showed up on the same road.
When we ignored them driving next to us, they sped
past and she flipped us off out the window. My
boyfriend started a new job in April that made him
extremely tired, so he doesn't really talk to her or
anyone else right now. This made her freak out, thinking

(02:40):
he was mad at her. She complained to their mom,
who then asked me about it, like I had something
to do with it, which I didn't. I've expressed my
concerns to my boyfriend and he sees the problem, but
has trouble saying anything because she gets over dramatic and
freaks out. He recently stopped sharing his location with her,
and she pissed about it, constantly requesting access Again.

Speaker 4 (03:03):
Buddy, the block button exists.

Speaker 3 (03:05):
There's such thing as codependent. This is beyond that by
like one thousand miles.

Speaker 4 (03:12):
I wonder.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
I wonder if there's some kind of something that happened
like this. Almost sounds like it feels like like a
trauma response or like a trauma bond like someone has.

Speaker 4 (03:23):
It's crazy. That's crazy to me.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
I think it could also there could be some level
of like neurospiciness with the sister, maybe where she is
just so like she's grown up with him. She's so
dependent on him, she's used to him being like a
constant president in her life and just her just the
way she's wired, she just can't take that change. It's

(03:45):
it's so foreign to her and she's feel like she's
losing it in because of the way she's wired. It
illicit this response. I'm it's not at all excusing. It help,
but that could be something that is prompting this kind
of behavior that could.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Be on the worth of July, my boyfriend got a
little too wasted, so I drove him home. The second
we walked in, she ran out of the bathroom to
take over caring for him, even though I had it
handled and I'm perfectly capable. I feel like she's threatened
by me and is low key obsessed with her younger brother.
There are many other incidents I could never fit into
this post. Any advice please, and we have some additional comments.

(04:23):
But honestly, wait a minute. This is the younger brother. Yes,
he's nineteen nineteen and the older sister is twenty five.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
I lost that in the insanity of this all.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
Yeah, I think it's what needs to be done is
your brother needs to make it very clear how he's
feeling and that he thinks this is kind of crazy
and that it needs to be like we.

Speaker 4 (04:43):
Need to calm down.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
And then if he says that and sisters still can't
respect his wishes, then we need to start putting up
boundaries and limiting contact.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
I'm going to update my potential motivation behind it. I
think a lot of this depends on the relationship with parents.
If the parents aren't very present, and potentially it's sister
who raised the brother. Mm, yeah, yeah, that could be
a very ultra paternal instinct that the sister has developed
because of that. Yeah, gone, and she feels like she's

(05:14):
losing him because of the girlfriend now yeah.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
He even said like she feels more like a mom.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
Yeah, So it's I'm guessing that the parents probably didn't
raise either of them, so it was left to the
two defend for themselves.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
See, let's see if we can gather some more information here.
In the additional comments, are they blood relatives? Oh P
says yes, one hundred percent, they are blood relatives. A
commenter says, how does your boyfriend feel about her behavior
in general. Does his sister have her own life? I mean,
does she have like a job or own apartment. She
should be focusing on her own life and not her

(05:47):
brothers Ohpi says, he just says that she has always
been like this. He just tells me he will create boundaries,
but I think he's scared to make her mad. She's
a nurse and engaged to a boyfriend of eight years.
He still lives at home with him and their parents.
A commentary replies, I don't think there will be any
boundaries until one of the moves out. Why is he

(06:08):
afraid of his sister? Are the parents aware or are
they totally oblivious? Opie says, I think he's just scared
to make her mad or something. I'm not exactly sure.
He doesn't like talking about this subject since it usually
leads to an argument. Their mom told my boyfriend we
need to get along, but I'm not ever rude, and
I just don't talk to her anymore. Commenter says, Wow,

(06:30):
that's a lot, very odd of her to be so obsessed.
At least he turned off his location. I wonder what
her boyfriend really thinks about all this, Opie says. I
don't think her boyfriend sees the problem since he will
take part in some of the things that she does.
He also had my boyfriend's location, but it was just
recently stopped being shared a couple of days ago.

Speaker 4 (06:49):
Are they just like fake surrogant parents?

Speaker 2 (06:52):
Like?

Speaker 4 (06:52):
This is insane? This is insane.

Speaker 3 (06:55):
It's not normal behavior in the least.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
Another commenter says, what does your boyfriend have to say
about all of this?

Speaker 4 (07:02):
This is a suggestion what she should say.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
Hey, I think we need to sit down and talk
about setting some boundaries with your sister. It's obvious she
doesn't respect me or our relationship.

Speaker 4 (07:11):
How would to talk like that? Go with him? If
you said that?

Speaker 2 (07:14):
Op he says, he says boundaries will be set, but
then an opportunity arises to get a said boundary and
he does not do it, and there is an update.

Speaker 4 (07:24):
However, what are we suggesting it's.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
Not going to stop if he's if he's already passed
on several opportunities to have boundaries, and he's just excusing
it over and over again. As she's always been like this,
She's always been like this. It's never going to stop.
She's going to have her own kids and maybe she'll
even like neglect her own actual kids to deal with him.

(07:49):
I think they need to have boundaries in distance, and
until there is something that forces them apart, it's going
to be bad. And even if they're forced apart, I
don't know if she will. I'm just continue to blow
his phone up and keep checking on him relentlessly.

Speaker 4 (08:04):
Let's see what we gotten this next up.

Speaker 2 (08:05):
Dad. First off, the good news is we're still together
and now we're engaged.

Speaker 5 (08:09):
Okay, congratulations.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
It means Back in October, shortly after my original post,
his sister finally moved out.

Speaker 4 (08:18):
That was amazing, and things calmed down for a while.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
I've honestly blocked out some of what happened, but there
are a few major events I remember clearly. At the
beginning of this year, my fiance and I were looking
to buy a house about thirty five to forty five
minutes from our hometown. When we told his parents, his
mom completely shut down and was obviously upset. She tried
listing every reason we shouldn't do it, but I had

(08:41):
answers for everything. She acted like a child for days,
barely talking, and when she did speak it was to
criticize our plan. We ended up not buying the house,
partly due to her lack of support and partly for
work related reasons. Things stayed relatively calm for a couple
more months. Aside from the usual location requests. My fiance
and I have had many long, serious talks about his family,

(09:04):
and we've chosen each other every time. He sees the
issues now and has cut his sister off let's go
since we still live with his parents until our wedding
next year. He'll say hello if she's around, but that's
about it. The final straw happened in April. Around one
am on a Friday night. I started getting multiple calls

(09:24):
from blocked numbers. I didn't answer it first, but then
my fiance started getting them too, so we picked up
on the line where a couple of girls claiming they
had been with my fiance the night before and the
week before, saying they had done the horizontal mambo with him.
They were trying to convince me he was cheating. I
knew immediately it was a lie. We recognized the voice

(09:47):
as his sister and one of her friends, and they
called fifteen to twenty more times, kept changing their story
and couldn't keep their details straight. He finally confronted them
by name and told them to stop. I was furious
and got on the phone, telling her, this is why
we don't talk.

Speaker 4 (10:01):
To you anymore. You need to grow up. You're almost thirty.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
My fiance told his parents about the prank calls that
they denied she would ever do something like that, so
the parents don't know how crazy.

Speaker 4 (10:14):
She is about the brother.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
A few days later, she admitted it to him and
laughed it off, calling it a joke. She didn't care
and never really apologized. That was the moment he completely
cut her off. His mom didn't help matters. She ended
up yelling at my fiance, saying I was the new
variable ruining the family.

Speaker 4 (10:33):
Then, at the end of April, it was his sister's birthday.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
We had already decided not to attend the family dinner
because it was also my mom's birthday. We were going
to her celebration instead. During my mom's dinner, his mom
sent him multiple texts saying she was disappointed and that
he broke her heart by not choosing her. When he
didn't respond, his dad texted, when you come home, don't
bring your woman with you. You mean my fiance, You

(10:58):
mean my soon to be wife.

Speaker 3 (10:59):
This is there's all sorts of ridiculously disrespectful and unhinged.
Also like, so the sister, do you not realize that
your brother knows what your voice sounds like?

Speaker 4 (11:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Just what an absolute no brain move on sister's part,
Like just unbelievable. My fiance went home to talk to
his parents while I stayed at my parents' house in
the front yard. His dad lectured him about how blood
is sticker than water and that no one should come
before your blood family. My fiance asked if his mom

(11:31):
came first in his dad's life, and his dad.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
Said no, which honestly blew my mind.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
Fast forward to June, when his mom insisted we have
a face to face family meeting.

Speaker 4 (11:43):
It was awful.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
I confronted his sister directly, but she had nothing to say,
so most of the conversation ended up being between me
and her fiance. My fiance did defend me, so I
wasn't entirely on my own. Since that day, there's been
no further drama. His sister remains cut off from our lives.
We're happy, planning to move out as soon as possible,
and we're looking forward to our wedding.

Speaker 3 (12:04):
I feel like I'm competing for my husband's attention because
of his sisters.

Speaker 5 (12:10):
Oh not the sisters.

Speaker 3 (12:12):
When I started developing relationships with my new sisters in law,
I noticed some quirks from the both of them. At first,
I chalked it up to the language barrier, despite their
near perfect English, then wondering if I was overreacting or
misunderstanding what they meant. After letting minor comments and actions slide,
it seems like they amped things up to see how

(12:32):
much they could get away with. I only brought this
to my husband's attention when they started doing more blatant things,
but he still defends one of them. By the way,
this comes from consistent Total seven sixty four and if
you want to submit your own stories, just go to
the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So my husband's older
sister practically worships the ground he walks on. She's obsessed

(12:55):
with him. She even uses a POV photo I took
of my husband as her phone wallpaper.

Speaker 4 (13:01):
Creepy Okay, I don't like I. I Do you have
anyone else? You could maybe make it your background.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
Red flag number one that wouldn't be such a big
deal if it weren't for the fact that the photo
is shot as if the photographer is about to lean
in and kiss him, something you'd expect to see as
a significant other's wallpaper red flag too.

Speaker 4 (13:24):
Yeah, that's the red flag, right.

Speaker 3 (13:26):
That's a whole separate red flag, same photo, two red flags.
I excuse the smaller things, but when the wallpaper incident happened,
I was grossed out and upset because it's completely inappropriate.
After this, I tremendously cut down communication with her, as
my husband advised, only speaking to her when necessary. She
messaged me a week later, asking what I'd been up

(13:47):
to and saying she missed me.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
Sweet.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
I thought maybe I was overreacting, after all. I briefly
told her I'd been busy and mentioned that in my
free time I played some video games. Two or three
days after this conversation, she proceeded to make her entire
personality about playing video games red flag three. She posted
Snapchat stories about video games NonStop that were so long

(14:11):
you couldn't even see which snap you were on when
viewing her story. They were thirty minutes or longer, no exaggeration.
I became very upset because I can't stand people like this.
It reminds me of not just pick me girls in
high school. She effectively made herself into a total gamer
girl overnight. Again, I'm disgusted by this behavior because why

(14:32):
is she trying so hard to intimidate and compete with me?
I didn't replace the sister role. I'm literally his wife.
This behavior is absolutely disgusting to me. Okay, so, Dakota,
what do you think is going on here with older sister?

Speaker 4 (14:47):
I just I think there's people brain. People's brains just
short circuit when they.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
Feel like territorial about like relatives or people, and it's
like the only person who can set this straight is
like the relative in question. Your partner needs to go
to his sister and say an office en off.

Speaker 3 (15:07):
His younger sister, on the other hand, is an outright witch,
and she even admits she can be annoying and rude. Sometimes.
She's made straight up discriminatory comments towards me, suggested my
husband doesn't treat me as well as he would a
girl from back home, and even tried to plan my
wedding as if it were her own red flag. Again,

(15:28):
my husband and I are already married, but we plan
to have a ceremony later in his home country to
celebrate with his family. His younger sister has sent me
several photos of near white or full white extravagant dresses.
She says she'll wear it to my wedding, as well
as several over the top hairstyles like those from Bridgerton
that she says she'll have done especially for my wedding.

(15:49):
My husband comes from a culture with very tight family bonds,
which has made this even more difficult. I've talked to
him about this, and he insists the older sister is
just socially awkward and so innocent. She doesn't understand what
she's doing. It was wrong, He says, he can't mention
it to her. I made to feel like I'm wrong
for believing this is strange behavior.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
Yeah, that's crazy because if she really is completely innocent,
why would you not mention it to her. It's like, hey,
innocent sister who doesn't know what she's doing, let me
inform you r on what it is you're doing. You
can't wear white to the wedding, and you can't have
a hairstyle so outrageous it makes you look like the bride.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
Right, and also if you are aware that her behavior
is inappropriate, as the ones who know it is. If
you care for this sister, your responsibility to correct her
behavior so she doesn't get in trouble. Like imagine if
she imagine, if like all the family is like gone,
are doing something else right, and she does this with

(16:45):
someone who does not take any of that nonsense, she's
in trouble. And because she doesn't know, because you didn't
teach her, there is a little bit of culpability knowing
that she behaves like this.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yeah, if that is what's really going on, right, I
don't think that's actually what's going on. I think she
knows what she's doing. But if that's their excuse, hold
poking holes exactly. He said he would address this with them,
but never has and keeps putting it off. With the
rude sister. At least he can agree she's wrong, but
he still won't bring this up to either of them.

(17:18):
I can't stand either of them, and it's to the
point where I don't even want to meet them in
person or move anywhere near them, because I can see
how they are as people and know it will just
get worse. I want to stay in another country altogether.
No closer than flying distance. I'm starting to question if
I made the right decision getting married because my husband
gets offended when I even suggest setting boundaries or addressing them,

(17:41):
as if I'm asking him to cut them out of
his life. I don't want the rest of my life
to be me avoiding his family events. Recently, he's come
around and is slightly more understanding, but he still defends
the older sister one hundred percent as if she's done
nothing wrong. I really love him, and I want this
to work, but I know it may never work if

(18:02):
he can't even see where I'm coming from. I don't
know how to address this with him any further. And
the bigger issue now is him defending his sisters no
matter what, while not being willing to pick up the
phone and stand up for his wife. Do you have
any advice?

Speaker 3 (18:16):
And there are some comments, but what would your advice
for a stuff be, Dakota.

Speaker 4 (18:20):
I think you try to flip the script. You're like,
what if I had a brother?

Speaker 2 (18:23):
What if I had a brother and he was doing
exactly what your sister was doing, would you feel like
it was chill? If I was just like, no, it's okay,
Like I'm sure that would make him go no, but
it's different, and it's like, well, no, it's how it's different.
It's exactly what's happening right now.

Speaker 3 (18:38):
Mm hmm. I think that the husband needs some outside perspective,
So either get a neutral third party like a family
friend who like knows both of you pretty well, or
someone who's like paid to do this, like a therapist
or something, or just spend time away with each other,
like no contact from them, like go on vacation, no contact,

(19:02):
something like that, so that you can just be together
and not have to worry about their outside influence. Because
I think it's it sounds like together they're great, but
whenever the family comes in, that's when the tensions start.

Speaker 4 (19:15):
Yeah. Yeah, it's all coming from the fam, all right.

Speaker 3 (19:19):
Here are the comments. Comment number one. I bet his
parents have coddled the two sisters and treated them like precious,
spoiled brats, so even he believes on some level that
they're perfect angels. I think he's slowly coming around to
understand that what they do is wrong, but it's difficult
for him to go against the family habit of treating
these sisters like perfect little angels, So he's fighting the

(19:40):
realization that these sisters are pretty gross while also dealing
with a family culture that insists they're wonderful. His family
is very tight knit, so he might be afraid of
what standing up to them will mean. I hope he'll
realize that no woman is going to accept the way
his sisters behave, so he has to fight this fight
sooner or later, or else forever be single. The first

(20:01):
sister sounds like she has no personality or very low
self esteem, and there's something going on with her spicy brain.
I think she's a copycat who copies everyone about her
to try to get in their shoes. It was pretty
gross that she tried to be you as if she
could get into her brother's pants. Yes, that's some serious
family dynamic issues that need a heavily paid therapist. Again,

(20:25):
therapy is your friend.

Speaker 4 (20:26):
Therapy is always your friend.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
The other sister sounds like a bad person and the
only way she's agreeing to be in this wedding is
if you spend a lot of money and lavish attention
on her. That's not a good look. I think the
real problem is that your husband says this is a
tight knit family, but I don't think that's true. I
don't even think he realizes it. I think a lot
of this family dynamic is fake and cultured, and the

(20:49):
siblings aren't very close at all. I think he's terrified
to lose them because that's what the family has always been.
These aren't healthy relationships. You coming into this family will
mean having a relationship with your husband and probably not
much with the other two women. That's the only way
I see this working. As your husband starts to stand
up for you more, it will alienate him more from
the family culture that treats the sisters like perfect angels.

(21:12):
If he's this afraid of being cut off from the family,
it makes me wonder if he has a good reason
for that fear. We've already seen unhealthy behaviors here. I
wonder if he's terrified of being outcast and having no
one to talk to him for a decade. If he
doesn't grovel and worship, I don't think you'll have much
traction asking him to do abstract things like talk to someone.
He's too afraid of being cut off. You'll have better

(21:34):
results asking him to do specific, concrete things. Please don't
send any pictures of us to your sister, because I
don't like. What she's doing with them is more specific
and actionable. Also, who are you throwing this big wedding for.
I understand you're already married and this wedding is for
the family, but keep in mind, this wedding isn't for
his side of the family. You don't like them, and

(21:56):
they don't like you. Don't feel like you have to
throw away thousands of dollars for a horrible nightmare that
nobody will enjoy. If it's going to be like that,
you might as well keep your money and go on
a nice vacation instead. Opie says, I ten thousand percent agree.
I have no desire to throw any type of party
just so his family can run around and play dress up,
and I've expressed this. However, it seems to be a

(22:18):
non negotiable for him because it's what the family wants.
I had a small family, mostly just my mom's side.
I think there's some disconnect because I was pushed to
learn that mom and dad aren't always right and it's
okay to live your own path in life, even if
it doesn't please your family. He kind of went against
the grain marrying me since I'm from outside the culture
and it took some convincing with his dad. I think

(22:41):
he doesn't want to rock the boat anymore because people
already assume I'm the evil Westerner coming to assert my
individualistic ideologies on their codependent, collectivistic culture. Each time we
discuss this, he.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
Gets defensive and always acts as if I asked him
to go no contact with his family. I would never
ask him to do something like that, but the mere
thought of discussing some dysfunction is scary for him, I guess.
And there is an update, so we'll get to that next.

Speaker 4 (23:07):
But yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
I think I think this might be like a dude,
if you're unwilling to change this, I'm gonna walk away,
like if you if you can't, If you can't stand
up for me in this situation, what's the next situation
you won't stand up for me, you know? Like, and
I don't you know, I don't believe in using ultimatums
what we want in relationships, but like, you know, that

(23:31):
might be one of the only things that makes him
like like wake up, like oh oh, like this is okay,
It's all I have to choose.

Speaker 3 (23:39):
I think an ultimatum is okay if it's a safety thing, Like,
this is not a safe family for her to be
around because they're always criticizing her and assaulting her mental
health and trying to like take over their wedding of
thousands of dollars. It's not healthy for OP to be
so judged and feeling so marginalized, right, and husband's gonna

(24:02):
have to pick. There's a line in the sand where
you can have a relationship with your family, but it
changes once you bring someone else into that. And I
don't think he realizes that, and it's the relationship is
not going to work if he doesn't defend his wife. Yeah,
like he should.

Speaker 4 (24:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
Yeah, So let's get to this up, dan, shall we.
After reading some comments on my previous post, I'm now
contemplating possibly getting a divorce. Oh well, okay, husband, it's
choice time, buddy boy, It's the time has come. After
thinking about it today, I'm starting to realize that this
small issue will only get worse because I can't make

(24:42):
my husband give a crap about his sister's treating me poorly.
He'll probably always defend them before his wife until he
realizes himself that he needs to change and maybe defend
his wife when she's treated poorly. So there's another update.
But how are you feeling about the potential of divorce.
Do you think it's going to wake them up?

Speaker 2 (25:01):
I think that, you know, maybe, I mean, I'm hoping
that OPI is expressing this to you know, Beyonce or
her husband, like uh, instead of just into the void
of the internet. But like it needs to be Yeah,
I mean, you know, it's unfortunate, and I kind of
flip flop on this, but it's it's all contextually dependent.

(25:22):
It's like, yeah, you're marrying into another family, and so
if that other family is going to be a negative
impact on you, like other family members, it's really important
that your partner can acknowledge that and y'all can work
through it or around it together as a united front

(25:43):
instead of like you know, being like, oh, I'm constantly
having to fight these battles alone.

Speaker 3 (25:48):
Like there's family A, there's family B. But you're also
making family C right, exactly, putting this union together.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
Yeah, And if and if you can't prioritize the new
family you're making as equally at least important as the
family you already have, then I think that's fundamentally a
huge problem.

Speaker 3 (26:09):
If he can't choose now ope and stick to it,
then divorce is the only way that either of them
will be happy.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (26:16):
I kind of agree with that.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
Yeah, so to this update, he truly is a great
guy in my opinion, but he doesn't get the concept
of taking a step back from his immediate family and
starting his own family. See here you go. I don't
want to live a life where my opinions and thoughts
about how we raise our children are constantly overshadowed by
what he and his family think. I'm not going to

(26:37):
make any rash decisions. I'm just contemplating it right now,
and we'll seek out counseling for myself at least, since
he doesn't believe in going to couple's therapy.

Speaker 4 (26:45):
oOoOO, that is.

Speaker 3 (26:48):
A big thing, because he's not even willing to negotiate. Now, Yeah,
it's come on regardless. I'll try to ask him again
and convey how important this is to me, to see
if we can save this. I don't want to get
a divorce, but if he isn't willing to compromise whatsoever
and draw boundaries, I don't want to live a miserable
life where I'm always second to his family. I keep

(27:08):
imagining a future with this issue, and it honestly looks
absolutely miserable. This is crappy to say, but at least
I'm still relatively young, and hopefully if this doesn't work out,
I have a chance to find someone who to marry
later on, who actually cares about how I'm treated. And
unfortunately that is the end of this story. But I
think hope he kinda got it on the head, like

(27:30):
I think maybe together they're great. It's just he can't
disentangle himself enough from his family and culture to be
the individual that she needs him to be all the time. Yeah,
when it's them alone, he can do it. But when
faced with the outside pressure, the outside pressure's gonna win. Yeah,
she's never gonna be the priority.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Yeah, I'm onder in law captain inserting herself into our lives,
and I can't forgive her.

Speaker 4 (27:53):
I object your honor.

Speaker 2 (27:56):
I'm twenty six female, thirty nine weeks and four days
pregnant with my third daughter. My husband twenty seven mail
and I had his mom over to help care for
my two older daughters from my previous marriage while we
awaited our third daughter's arrival. She came during the second
to last week of my pregnancy, and initially was helpful
taking the girls to the beach and park while we

(28:18):
prepared for baby and school. By the way, this comes
from user gold tooth ninety nine on the r slash
Charlotte Dobray YouTube subreddit, and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.
So for context, I'm not the type who likes being
the center of attention. Being pregnant has cast me into
that position with my husband's family and coworkers, and I've

(28:39):
struggled with the discomfort of constantly being asked about pregnancy.
I've realized I don't appreciate that most people have made
pregnancy my entire identity, only interested in my growing belly
rather than getting to know me as a person. I
like to maintain my identity outside of being a parent,
pregnancy and marriage. My husband shares this sense of all autonomy,

(29:00):
and we have an amazing relationship as a result. I've
told him that just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm
completely incapacitated. If I need help, I'll ask, but I'd
like to be treated like a normal person.

Speaker 4 (29:12):
He's been great at being.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
Equally curious about our baby while helping me feel normal.
I had a hard time early in pregnancy adjusting to
all the changes and fell into a depressive hit for
a couple months, but with his support, I became excited
for my new life and welcomed the change with confidence.

Speaker 4 (29:31):
Back to mother in law.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
Almost every day she asked how I felt, and I
began getting annoyed. I had lost part of my mucus
plug the day she arrived plug, and for the next
four days I had bits of the bloody show, but
no rupturing of membranes. My husband and I are excited
and impatient, but we know it'll happen when it happens.

(29:53):
I tried to be open and answer her questions, but
I began feeling pressured to perform. The little contractions I'd
been having stopped. There were no more signs labor was near,
and I slowly realized the lack of relaxation may have
stalled my labor. A couple nights into her stay, she
told us to go into our room and have relations
to speed things along. All right, Mother in law, got you,

(30:16):
got you go home. You're no longer helping. Just go
go home, get out of here.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
There's like there's an unspoken line that you don't The
reason it's unspoken is because you shouldn't have to speak it.
She just crossed it very just wilfully, no qualm.

Speaker 4 (30:33):
Yeah, come on, come on, mother lom, What do we do?

Speaker 2 (30:36):
I felt completely violated by her comment and told my
husband it made me feel unsafe in my body. He
shared the same sentiment, and we went to bed feeling
very awkward. Having someone I didn't know well say something
like that was wholly inappropriate, especially since she didn't know
me enough to understand that I've been hurt by people
in that way before. My husband felt uncomfortable that his

(30:58):
own mom wanted him to perform, and felt violated that
she could make such a request.

Speaker 4 (31:04):
That's where the breakdown began.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
When I wasn't around, mother in law told my husband
that the baby probably wouldn't be here while she was visiting.

Speaker 4 (31:11):
When he told me, I felt it was completely selfish.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
Of her to feel entitled to the birth when she
wouldn't be experiencing my labor pain. Later that evening, she asked,
are we having a baby tomorrow? I very bluntly replied no, yeah, no,
we aren't having anything because I'm having the baby, not you.
I became irate with the pressure to perform for her
and simply wasn't having it anymore. I've been communicating my

(31:35):
discomfort with my husband since she kept asking if we
were going to have a baby.

Speaker 4 (31:40):
As if all three of us were involved. For the
next couple.

Speaker 3 (31:43):
Days, I'm getting just I'm getting the image of the
meme where it's like Solviet Russia, we are having baby.
These is our baby.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
I feel like this is just what happens with like
hyper helicopter moms or like moms.

Speaker 4 (31:56):
You were like, I've always wanted to be a grandparent.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
And then it's like you just have to respect that
this is a process happening outside of you, and you
get to be involved later grandparent, But in terms of
the pregnancy and the baby being born, not you. That
is not something that is happening to you. At the
very most, it could be something that's happening to her
and her husband.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
But really, your laborer pains our baby, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (32:22):
Come on.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
For the next couple of days, I became increasingly avoidant
of her, both vocally and physically, without giving a dang
how it made her feel. In my head, She's a
visitor in our lives, and for her to have said
something like that was meddlesome. I'm also not great at
addressing things like this. I assume people know what not
to talk about, but I'm also non confrontational. It's time

(32:44):
to get confrontational. We gotta tell mom if this absolutely
needs to stop, you know, and whether it's you or
a husband needs to be like, we need to start
changing the way that we're talking about the pregnancy and
we're talking about the baby, because you're impacting my wife's
well being and by extension, the baby's well being, the

(33:04):
baby that you care so much about, mother or you know.

Speaker 4 (33:08):
Come on.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
When I felt like I needed to get out of
the house, my husband and I left together, and on
those small outings, I began feeling contractions again. But when
we got home, I felt like we were walking on
eggshells in our own home and all signs of labor stopped.
She would follow us from room to room without even
trying to make conversation, just sitting in our space. She
made a point of bossing my husband around about taking

(33:32):
the dogs out and feeding them, making him.

Speaker 4 (33:34):
Feel like she viewed him as a child rather than
a grown man.

Speaker 2 (33:37):
She also said she woke up early to make sure
we were up for the girl's open house at their
new school, which annoyed him because he felt she viewed
him as incapable of being responsible for the kids. He
voiced his frustrations to me, the wrong person he should
be doing this to his mom, and I let him
know I was aware of how she was treating him
and had his back. She also seemed not to care

(33:59):
that our family didn't sit or her dietary beliefs, but
tried to get us.

Speaker 4 (34:02):
To eat what she ate.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
My husband and kids don't like mushrooms or sweet potatoes
because of texture, but she made them for the entire family,
knowing this, and burned food into my dishes without apology
or cleaning them. My husband countered by making mashed potatoes
and steamed veggies for himself and my girls. She would
use my dishes and set them aside for her own
use without regard.

Speaker 4 (34:23):
That we might also need them.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
My daughters and I are Native American and fry bread
is a cultural staple passed down through years.

Speaker 4 (34:30):
It's made by hand, like non bread.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
Mother in law made a comment about my daughters having
their hands all over the dough while I was having
a teaching moment with them, making my eldest daughter feel weird.

Speaker 4 (34:41):
I assured her that.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
Her grandma, great grandma and I have made bread like
this for years and it would be okay. She had
washed her hands and tied up her hair, so I
didn't see an issue. And that's because there wasn't one. Folks,
you're gonna lose your mind when you realize every restaurant
you've ever eaten at, do you know that he are
touching your food and they're not always gloved, just clean

(35:04):
hands that have been washed are handling your meal before
it's prepared. And if you can't handle that, then I
guess you should be cooking all of your food just
for yourself.

Speaker 3 (35:13):
Also, have you never seen like any footage of someone
making bread. They're always using their hands to need the dough.
There might be rolling pans, but they like touch the
dough and move it and then they'll roll up. But
you kneed the dough with your hands.

Speaker 4 (35:26):
Crazy, I didn't even think about that. She's like, eh,
she's got her hands all up in the dough. It's like, yeah,
that's where you put your hands when you make bread. Genius,
What are we talking about?

Speaker 3 (35:36):
Also, I know from just reading and stuff that like,
frybread is very very protected by Native American communians because
that has so much cultural and historical for them. And like,
I'm sure that mother in law has no idea and
no care whatsoever, but like for her to try to

(35:56):
coach this Native American woman about fry bread is beyond
colonizer audacious.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
Yeah, it's insane behavior. Mother in law and my husband
are white. My husband knows how I make bread by
hand and doesn't mind. He's open to cultural differences and
receptive to learning about people through food.

Speaker 4 (36:16):
I was offended she.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Didn't clean the burn off of my pants, and she
rarely helped with cleaning aside from loading the dishwasher and
doing laundry, which initially felt helpful until it began feeling
like I'd end up owing her for help when she
was supposedly here to help while I tried to facilitate
labor naturally and peacefully.

Speaker 4 (36:34):
Yesterday, my daughters had.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
Their first day of school, so I got up early
with my husband and got them on the bus. I
went back to sleep and woke up hours later, showered,
and took myself out to lunch while waiting for the
girls to get home. Sundays are my day out, while
my husband normally takes Saturdays. I didn't go out Sunday
because I was focused on the girl's first day preparation,
so I decided to go.

Speaker 4 (36:56):
Out Monday instead.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
While I was out, mother in law texted asking if
i'd be home soon because she was locked out. I
said yeah, but I was running errands. We'd given her
a house key and she knew the garage door code.
She then texted my husband, making it seem like I'd
locked her out on purpose. He shared the text with me,
and I shared what she'd ask me. I didn't grow
up in the nicest places, so I'm accustomed to locking

(37:19):
up before going anywhere. Lock your doors wherever you are,
don't let anyone ever gas light.

Speaker 4 (37:24):
You were to saying you shouldn't lock your doors. That's crazy.

Speaker 3 (37:26):
I've lived in apartments with friends where we didn't lock
our doors, and it's not like when something happens or
when you think like, oh god did we get broken into,
like it clicks real quick in your brain. Oh, this
is why you lock your door.

Speaker 4 (37:39):
Oh this is why I'm locked my doors. Gotcha?

Speaker 2 (37:43):
He told him I was rude, didn't apologize for locking
her out, and gave no fs about how she felt.

Speaker 4 (37:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
True, she said I made her feel unwelcome and played
the victim. My husband called to let me know he
was heading home to talk to her and didn't know
what to say. I let him know again why I
felt of and that despite what she said, I didn't
feel she was owed in apology because her actions had
been adverse to myself, him and my kids. I wouldn't
tolerate the disrespect, whether she was aware or not. I

(38:11):
told him I'd head home to get my girls off
the bus and be with him for whatever he was
about to walk into. We were on the exact same page.
I got home and she was raising her voice at him,
saying I locked her out intentionally and was owed in apology.
Let's remember she knows the correct She knows the door
code for the garage, so this is a non issue.

Speaker 4 (38:32):
She was given a key that you, I guess, didn't
take care of.

Speaker 2 (38:37):
She also stated I was rude and my kids were terrible,
to which he said he wouldn't allow her to disrespect me.
He let her know we were both uncomfortable with her
for our own reasons, and felt that if anyone was
owed in apology, it was us for her lack of
regard for our boundaries. She kept trying to play victim,
and I could see my husband becoming aggravated, so I
stepped in. I tried steering the conversation back to peaceful discussion,

(38:57):
but she refused to understand where we were coming from and.

Speaker 4 (39:00):
Continued victimizing herself.

Speaker 2 (39:02):
She felt entitled to thanks for offering help and made
it seem like I was ungrateful, which I never was.
She said I should apologize for purposefully locking her out
when I knew she had a key. At every turn,
I shut down her excuses while she continued grasping at straws.
It ended with her slamming our front door and leaving
back to Ohio while we calmed down enough to get

(39:24):
the girls from the bus stop. We don't know where
to go from here, but my husband and I talked
about it all, and he realized she had an emotionally
toxic relationship with him, always meddling in his life because
she had no control of her own. In our private
conversations while she was here, we had talked about her
strange behavior and when the shoe dropped, we worked as
a unit.

Speaker 4 (39:44):
Now we have a little bit more.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
Story left, But honestly, I feel like the trash just
took itself out. You know, you did not let her
get away with her sort of gaslighting and her lies,
and when she realized she couldn't get away with it anymore,
she just left.

Speaker 4 (39:58):
So I I feel like you're gonna have that baby
any day now.

Speaker 3 (40:02):
I'm proud of this husband for standing up for his
new family. So you don't really see that in a
lot of these stories. Yeah, it's good to see that
it does exist.

Speaker 4 (40:12):
It does happen, Folks.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
Standing on business for your partner does happen. Now, now
let's see if she gives birth to this kid. Mother
in law has three other kids who don't speak to her.

Speaker 4 (40:25):
So I guess we figured out why.

Speaker 2 (40:27):
My husband has a daughter from a previous marriage that
he can't legally be around much because of quote anger
issues that I believe stemmed from his mom. His previous
marriage fell apart because she got between him and his
wife before. She even went so far as to keep
husband's father away from him for most of his life,
and now as adults, husband and his father have been

(40:47):
navigating their relationship successfully. Mother in law has no contact
with any of her family, and I had always wondered
why I was raised in a similar environment. So when
it came to figuring this out, I always heard him
out and told.

Speaker 4 (41:00):
Him what it looked like to me.

Speaker 2 (41:02):
I told him he could come to his own conclusions
and I would support him regardless of how he felt.
Now we're just rebuilding after the blow up and staying
united on all fronts. So Reddit, am I the a hole? No,
you're not, of course, not like zero percent. You were
very gracious and opened up your home to this woman who,

(41:23):
according to all these indications, delayed your birth by giving
you stress. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like, we don't need
to be catering to anyone here. She was clearly negative.
All of her other children are no contact with her.
She was already directly It sounds responsible for the implosion
of your husband's previous marriage, which I guess is a

(41:47):
good thing because then he got to marry you. But uh,
but anyway, yeah, very complicated, and you don't need any
of that.

Speaker 4 (41:54):
You just let her be and stay away load no
contact Sam.

Speaker 1 (41:59):
Here, We're gon get back to the stories but here's
three of it's bads from our sponsors.

Speaker 6 (42:03):
I refuse to take my step niece on a trip
because of her parents' behavior. If they don't deserve to go,
neither does she. I thirty five female, live and work abroad.
Bet him from the Midwest. I grew up with my
brother Jason forty three male, and our parents seventies. We
were working class, had what we needed, but weren't well

(42:24):
off by any means. By the way, this comes from
f you, Jenny, and if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the r slage.

Speaker 5 (42:32):
Okay, storytime supert it only if your name is as
cool as that. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (42:37):
When I was in high school, Jason married Tiffany, forty female,
a hot mess of a person who was a heavy
drinker and a partier. She was gorgeous, though, and my
brother is a dweb to put it nicely. They had
three kids, Jace nineteen male, Jeff seventeen male, and Hannah
twelve female. Their marriage fell apart before Hannah was born.
They tried working it out, but ultimately divorced, with Jason

(43:00):
working constantly while splitting custody fifty to fifty with Tiffany,
who received child sport and alimony. As a former stay
at home mom, Jason then started dating Jenny. There she Yeah,
we found her, ef you Jenny forty three female. I
liked her initially. She wasn't a complete smoke show like Tiffany,

(43:22):
but she was kind, educated and had a good job.
Much better match, I thought. Jenny got pregnant fairly quickly
with Daisy ten female, and they married. Around this time,
the older kids started refusing to go back to their
moms because Tiffany was always drinking and having a random
guys around. All three moved in full time with Jason

(43:43):
and Jenny, and Tiffany eventually left town entirely years when
things went sideways, Jenny completely changed after becoming a stepmother
to three full time kids us having her own baby.
She quit working but declared she was only a stay
at home mom to her kid.

Speaker 5 (44:03):
No.

Speaker 6 (44:05):
No, once she get married to someone who has kids, Yeah,
you gotta be ready for those all to be your kids,
especially if the mom isn't in the picture.

Speaker 5 (44:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (44:16):
Despite Jason working seventy plus hours to make ends, me
and Jenny's parents helping financially, dang yight, so he's paying
for all the kids and she's like, well, I'm only
gonna care for one, And she's like, well that's your choice.

Speaker 5 (44:29):
You yeah't have to do that.

Speaker 6 (44:31):
I didn't force you to do any of this. Yeah.
She controlled the money and created a clear hierarchy. Jason, Jenny,
and Daisy operated as one family unit, going to dinners,
events and vacations while leaving the older three at home.
I thought this was disgusting and said so, but Jason
just said his divorce had broken him and emotionally, and
he'd do anything to keep Jenny happy, so this.

Speaker 5 (44:52):
Marriage would work.

Speaker 6 (44:53):
Ten years ago, I was younger broker and frankly Dummer,
so my attitude was more my brother sucks as but
I love it another continent. All I can do is
support the kids. Not great, and I'm disappointed in myself
looking back on it.

Speaker 5 (45:07):
I really did my best to step up.

Speaker 6 (45:09):
When they refuse to pay for Jace to learn driving,
even though Jenny wouldn't drive the kids anywhere, my mom
todt him and I bought him a used car.

Speaker 5 (45:17):
Good on you, that's good.

Speaker 6 (45:19):
We had to shame Jason into putting jas on his
insurance and he makes Jace pay for it. You suck
as a father. Oh my gosh, same story with Jeff.
They share the car for all the kids' activities. My
wife and I were child free, made the older three
kids are soul bet of fisharies after learning that Jenny

(45:40):
and Jason plan to leave them only the bare minimum
with everything going to Daisy and he literally, this guy
should not be a father.

Speaker 5 (45:49):
No.

Speaker 6 (45:49):
Six years ago after we married, we started taking the
older kids on annual trips when we visit the US.
Nothing fancy. Were well off but not billionaires, just week
long trips to Florida, Utah, California.

Speaker 5 (46:01):
They're outdoorsy kids and have a blast. Every year.

Speaker 6 (46:04):
We tie these trips when Jason takes Jenny and Daisy
on their own vacations, so there's no conflict. This year,
we planned a fall trip to Maine instead of our
usual summer vacation because Jays gotten an internship. When I
told Jason the dates, he said, we need to start
including Daisy, and then I literally would just go, oh,
then you need to start including your own kids on
your trips.

Speaker 5 (46:24):
That you go on.

Speaker 6 (46:26):
Yeah, what, Jenny's parents made bad investments and can't help
financially anymore.

Speaker 5 (46:31):
That sucks.

Speaker 6 (46:32):
I'm not surprised Jenny's looking for work, but since her
parents always funded their trips, they can't afford one this year.
Here's the brutal truth. Even if everything were fair, I
wouldn't want to take Daisy. She's a huge brat, spoiled, mean,
and constantly bragging about things she gets that her siblings don't.
She once told me the older kids weren't her stipling,

(46:54):
they were Tiffany's kids, which you know her mom is
telling her.

Speaker 5 (46:58):
Oh, of course, which is so.

Speaker 6 (46:59):
Sad because the kid is just being brainwashed into hating
her other siblings.

Speaker 5 (47:03):
Right, I mean, like earlier you said that he can't
be that good of a parent to Daisy either, and like, yeah,
it's clear that he's not right. I mean, with doing
all of this stuff and that separation. It's not just
bad because he's neglecting. It's bad because he's also spoiling this.

Speaker 6 (47:15):
H She throws toddler level tantrums on holidays if she
doesn't get as much and more than the other kids.
Years ago, she told my wife and me we were
going to heck, which Jenny barely disciplined her for.

Speaker 5 (47:28):
Because Jenny is telling.

Speaker 6 (47:29):
Her these things, y, it's like of course, her mom
is not going to discipline her for this, of course,
because she's the one encouraging this behavior.

Speaker 5 (47:37):
Yeah, I mean, like what, no kid just says you're
going to heck? Yeah, because like pig got something like
more toys than you are, more like snacks. I don't know,
Like that's not something that kids learn on their own.

Speaker 6 (47:49):
Nope, since Jenny waits on her hand and foot, she's
also a complete slop. How old is Daisy by now?
I'm wondering.

Speaker 5 (47:57):
I'm wondering too.

Speaker 6 (47:58):
I feel terrible saying this about a child, and I
hope she grows out of it, but there's no way
I want to take her on vacation. When I told
Jason we couldn't handle all four kids and would stick
to just the five of us, he suggested Jenny could
come help. Absolutely not, or our mom could join. She's
getting a hip replacement next month and doesn't want to
go last.

Speaker 5 (48:19):
We'd need a.

Speaker 6 (48:19):
Bigger car, probably two cars for a road trip with
that many people, and honestly, I don't want to. Since
Jason couldn't convince me, they've started shaming us online. It's
working with their friends and Jenny's family, though even my
dad told me to stick to my PuO pews. But
then my wife came to me with a hard question.
Are we even better than Jenny if we're favoring some

(48:41):
kids over another just because we don't like their mom.
Before we were evening things out, but now we're obviously
favoring the oldest three. She said it's my family and
my decision, but asked me to think about the long
term health of our family relationships.

Speaker 5 (48:55):
My gut says, take just the older three.

Speaker 6 (48:57):
But Daisy's only ten, Okay, so I don't know how
old the older three are now.

Speaker 5 (49:02):
I don't know either one of them's old enough to drive? Yeah,
and have an internship. Yeah, so I don't know. She's
not to blame for her parents' behavior.

Speaker 6 (49:12):
Would it make me an evil aunt?

Speaker 5 (49:13):
Leave her out?

Speaker 6 (49:15):
And there is an update, folks, A quick clarification. Daisy
isn't constantly some Vruca Salt esque monster child. She can
be a brat, but she's also funny and caring. She's
the only grandchild who is stuck with the church choir
that my mom runs, even though I don't think.

Speaker 4 (49:31):
She loves it.

Speaker 6 (49:32):
Also, she always calls my wife and me on our birthdays,
and when their dog was too old to go upstairs,
she brought her mattress downstairs and slept next door every
night before she passed away so she wouldn't be lonely.
People aren't cartoon villains, and please stop attacking a ten
year old. I mean, oh, pie, you literally said that
you kind of hated this tenment. Yeah, this ten year

(49:54):
old sucks, right, our surprise that everyone is attacking this
ten year old.

Speaker 5 (49:58):
Yeah, so it's like thing that you added those in there,
because that last part is actually really sat No, I
think it's important, but yeah, I mean, like, what do
you expect from the internet.

Speaker 4 (50:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (50:09):
Sorry, I didn't reply to direct messages. I didn't feel
comfortable doing that. I don't know if that account people
were messaging me was Jenny's, and I honestly wouldn't change anything.
I did change some small details for anonymity, and it
would be a shame if there's more than one person
out there like her. Just a reminder that I live
half the world away a fifteen hour minimum plane ride,

(50:30):
I can't just pop over, and there are time zone issues.
I also do well for myself, but don't have unlimited money,
so stop telling me to take Daisy on trial trips
and buy a four bedroom house for the oldest three
to live in. Lol Ooh, keep in mind I live
in remote, mostly rural areas, not bustling metropolises with vibrant
expat communities and international schools. It's the nature of the job.

(50:53):
I worked hard for it, and it's not conducive to
having kids or young adults living with me. I'm not
a messy person and I don't do social media drama,
so I've been ignoring Jason and Jenny's little vague booking campaign.
I wasn't even going to update until I got some
background information, but basically, I got a call from my
brother last weekend. It was Daisy Ryan telling me she

(51:16):
would be good and she's sorry for being bad, that
she wants to go on the trip, and promising she'll
be quiet and not say anything rude. It was heartbreaking.
Oh ah, her parents are so bad.

Speaker 5 (51:28):
I know.

Speaker 6 (51:29):
She was saying she was going to find a way
to show me, my wife and her parents that she
was good and not a bad person and everything would
be okay.

Speaker 3 (51:37):
Ah.

Speaker 6 (51:39):
I tried calming her down and assured her that both
her aunts love her very much. And don't think she's
a bad person at all. My brother took the phone
and said, see what you've done?

Speaker 5 (51:47):
Oh my god?

Speaker 6 (51:48):
Wait no, no, was he just manipulating?

Speaker 4 (51:52):
No?

Speaker 6 (51:53):
Did he go to little freaking Daisy and say, your
aunt thinks you're a terrible person. She hates you and
that's why you're not going on the trip. Go tell
her you're upset about that. Because I bet he freaking did.

Speaker 5 (52:04):
That is so crazy, dude, He's.

Speaker 6 (52:06):
Literally like playing with his daughter, his ten year old
daughter's emotions.

Speaker 5 (52:11):
Yeah. I tried calling back, but he didn't answer.

Speaker 6 (52:15):
I texted my mom as well as Jason Jeff to
see what was going on. Of course, I wake up
to a post about how cruel people can be to
innocent children. Between my mom and Jeff, I got some
background info. I don't know where all their money goes
or what happened to Jenny's parents, but their financial situation
is bad, as in asking my fixed, low income parents
for money for Daisy's tuition.

Speaker 5 (52:35):
Bad dang, So they.

Speaker 6 (52:38):
Really, because they were seemingly pretty well off if they
were paying for all of Daisy and her parents, like,
if they were paying for all of Daisy in her parents'
vacations and now I have to ask for tuition help
like that.

Speaker 5 (52:50):
Yeah, clearly lost kind of.

Speaker 6 (52:52):
Everything, rightly. Jenny and my brother had told Daisy she'd
have to pick between vacation and her school, and she
picked school. I'm sorry, what, but since it's taken Jenny
longer than expected to find a job, they can no
longer swing that either. I know you all think she's
a little demon, but my heart broke for her with that.

(53:12):
And yes, I'm not getting into it because I'll rage
for too long. But the older three have always gone
to public school. I freaking called it. I do think
it was Jenny's parents paying the tuition though. According to Jeff,
Daisy is getting older and having more of her own
opinions and Jenny doesn't like that. Yeah, when she found
out she couldn't go back to her school, she asked
about a trip, and my brother told Jenny I had

(53:34):
said no. She told Daisy she couldn't go because she
was bad. Yep, call that too heartbreaking and just a
plus parenting all around. Just these guys man, Yeah, these parents.

Speaker 5 (53:46):
So yeah, we need we need ope to call the
parents and be like, hey, love to talk to Daisy
and then tell Daisy, hey girl, that's not true.

Speaker 6 (53:55):
Yes, say like, the only reason you know you haven't
been going on these trips before is because you're parents
didn't want to bring your siblings. Yeah, and so I
want to do something special for them, And then I
think that you shouldn't. I honestly think that you should
take her. Sure, I think that if her other siblings
are like, oh, why are you in fighting, Daisy, blah
blah blah, it's.

Speaker 5 (54:15):
Like you guys are siblings.

Speaker 4 (54:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (54:17):
I don't think this is the end of all this.
Jeff needs to be more discreet. But he told me
Jenny was losing it because of botox and ozenthic withdrawal.

Speaker 5 (54:27):
Oh my wit.

Speaker 6 (54:28):
He sounds like a nightmare. He did say the house
wasn't as bad as you think. She mostly ignores them
and continues that pattern. He works, and Hannah spent most
of the summer at her best friend's house. One quick thing.
I know everyone is worried about my nephews and niece
and think they live horrible, miserable lives, and this vacation
is the only bright spot of the year. Yes, their

(54:49):
lives are completely unfair and I feel awful for them,
But They are happy kids from what Jason has told me.
Since Jenny had Daisy, they've always kind of treated her
like an eccentric roommate that their weeb of a is
sleeping whip. They're not all rude and screaming at one another,
more polite indifference. They also do care a lot about
Daisy and would never ask me to leave her at home.

(55:11):
It's me that doesn't want to bring her because she
needs a parent with her. And as Drill would say,
I would face God and walk backwards into heck before
I ever invited, much less paid for Jenny to come
with us.

Speaker 5 (55:24):
I don't think she does need a parent with her.
Why does she need a parent with her?

Speaker 6 (55:27):
If Jenny says I need to come along and say,
oh sorry, I can't afford it.

Speaker 5 (55:31):
I'll take Daisy, but I can't afford to bring you guys.

Speaker 7 (55:32):
Along, Yeah exactly, there you go. Yeah, sorry, this is
aunt and aunt in nibblings only. Yeah, yeah exactly. No,
No mother's allowed.

Speaker 6 (55:44):
Sack.

Speaker 5 (55:45):
Hey y'all, it's John Ogi host here.

Speaker 1 (55:46):
We're gonna get back to the story, but here's a
quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

Speaker 5 (55:50):
I want to press charges on my kid's aunt because
she's trying to take advantage of me. You're under arrest.
I'm a thirty eight year old male and right after
I got out of the military, I met my At
the time, she was a nanny for a set of
twins whose mother, Lydia, had undergone a double lung and
kidney transplant right after they were born. Their father is
a heavy drinker who always promises to visit but never

(56:12):
shows up, or if he does, he's blaster. My wife
started caring for the twins when they were eleven months old,
before and after school while she attended college. Wow, by
the way, this comes from Admirable Duty forty one and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay storytime and sepredded. So when I
started dating my wife, she said, hey, we're a package deal.

(56:34):
I didn't blink an eye and said let's go. The
twins were amazing and took to me like bees to honey.
Now A is the boy twin. We'll call him Alan, Sure, Sure?
And Bee is a girl twin. What should her name be?

Speaker 4 (56:47):
Betty?

Speaker 5 (56:48):
Alan and Betty. As time went on, we'd hang out
with them and take them on outings. They were our
flower girl and ring bear. At our wedding. Right after
we got married, Lydia down and said her body was
rejecting her lungs and she didn't know how much time
she had.

Speaker 6 (57:04):
Oh wow, and again Lydia is the mom.

Speaker 4 (57:07):
Yes.

Speaker 5 (57:07):
Yes, She had originally planned to have her sister Sachelle
take the twins if something happened to her, but when
Lydia told Sachelle about her body rejecting the lungs, Michelle responded, Okay, well,
I'll take care of your money for you, but your
kids need to go somewhere else.

Speaker 6 (57:22):
I'll take your money, but you're not your kids is
crazy words.

Speaker 5 (57:27):
Yeah. When Lydia said she didn't have anywhere else for
them to go, Schelle suggested foster care. That's when Lydia
crazy work.

Speaker 6 (57:36):
Yeah, like, yeah, okay, I understand that some people just
can't take care of kids or like aren't equipped for
the task. But to be like, I'll take your money,
yeah I don't care about your kids.

Speaker 5 (57:48):
Here's the money, but uh yeah, no, that's that's pretty wild.
That's when Lydia knew what she had to do. Later
that day, after my wife put the twins to bed,
Lydia asked if we would take and raise them of
something happened to her. My wife said she needed to
talk to me first. That night, when I got home
from work, my wife said, hey, we need to have
a talk and told me about Lydia's request. I immediately

(58:10):
said heck yeah. She asked if I was sure, and
I said our whole relationship has been with them, and
I can't imagine one more day without them. Over the
next month that Lydia arranged for us to take custody.
We went to court, signed the paperwork, and officially became
their guardians when the twins were six. Over the following months,
Lydia started to stabilize, and we hoped she'd pull through

(58:32):
and watch them grow into adults. My wife and I
began having biological kids of our own, but included the
twins in every milestone. Although the twins still lived with Lydia,
we made sure we were at every choir concert, wrestling match,
track meet, scout troop, and volleyball competition. In September of
last year, Lydia found out that she'd developed that had

(58:52):
spread everywhere. Oh my goodness, God. Coast doctors said she'd
be lucky to see Halloween and this is September. She
found out. Oh, we'd prepared for this. We knew it
would happen eventually, just not when the Sheelle started coming around.
Mark In early October, Lydia, Sashell, and us sat down

(59:14):
to discuss what would happen when she passed. Lydia decided
that Michelle would handle the financial side and put all
her money in a trust for the kids. Well, we'd
take care of the children. We asked about the process
of the kids needed anything, and Sachelle said, oh, you
just text me, and if it's a need I think
is legitimate, I'll pay for it. Dude, I don't trust

(59:34):
this at all. I'll trust that at all because I'm sorry,
if we look at it super objectively, if the rules
were reversed and Opie Sachelle like, I can understand not
trusting someone else.

Speaker 6 (59:45):
Sure, I'd be like, yeah, I want to make sure
that my sister's money is being handled properly and r
notcket it, like you can't just ask for it for like,
oh the kids need this when you're spending in on
like sure your own things.

Speaker 5 (59:56):
You know, however, Yeah.

Speaker 6 (59:58):
When your sis says I don't want to take your kids,
but I'll take your money. I don't trust her to
give that money out fairly.

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
No.

Speaker 5 (01:00:06):
Also, yeah, because then if she doesn't want to take
care of kids, how is she going to even know
if it's in need that's legitimate? Yeah, what does she
know about raising kids? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (01:00:15):
And also she wanted to take care of the money
before ope was even the picture. She was saying, Oh,
send them into foster care. I don't even think she
was planning on giving that money.

Speaker 4 (01:00:26):
To the kid.

Speaker 5 (01:00:27):
Oh yeah, probably not, so, like, what's to say that
she would do that now?

Speaker 3 (01:00:30):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:00:31):
So that's that's exactly where this is going. And I
don't like it. This sounded off to us, but it's
what Lydia wanted, and we'd figured we'd just pay for
things ourselves if needed. Anyway, after that meeting, Lydia began
declining aggressively. On or around December third, Sachelle had a
conversation with Betty about Lydia's jewelry, diamonds, rings, necklaces, asking

(01:00:52):
where Lydia kept the valuable items. When Betty said that
she wasn't sure and asked why, Schelle said that she
wanted to take them to a safety deposit at a
bank for safekeeping to give to the twins later. Schelle
then told Betty that the doctor had increased Lydia's medication,
so she'd be passing away in the next day or two.
Is she telling the truth? I don't know, but she's

(01:01:14):
literally telling a child this. I don't know if she's
telling the truth. I why would not believe her?

Speaker 6 (01:01:20):
I feel like she's like lying so that Betty tells
her where the jewelry is.

Speaker 5 (01:01:23):
Yeah. Upon investigation, there was no medication increase by any doctor.
Later that day, I went to check on Lydia and
the twins. When I walked into the house, I saw
Sachelle putting jewelry into her bag. I asked what she
was doing, and she said that she was taking the
jewelry to put into a safety deposit box with a
kid's safety. I asked which bank she was taking it to,

(01:01:45):
but she ignored the question. I then asked if Lydia
knew that she was taking the jewelry, and Schelle stated, well,
the mom doesn't know what's going on, so it's not
her decision. I told her she's not gone or unconscious,
and she does have a set day. I went to
ask Lydia about it, but she was asleep from morphine
that had been given to her earlier by either Sachelle

(01:02:07):
or Lydia's father. I asked what else had been taken
from the house without Lydia's knowledge. Sachelle said that she
was the executor of the will and in charge of everything. Anyway,
I explained that nothing should be taken without Lydia's or
the kid's consent. It was at this point that the
hospice company noticed an increase in the morphine administered by
Sachelle or Lydia's father. Adult Protective Services was called to investigate.

(01:02:31):
Adult Protective Services instructed them to allow access to anyone
Lydia wanted to state, including friends, family, nurses, and attorneys.
Once Lydia evened out from the over medication, she asked,
what's going on? Nobody is telling me anything. Betty told
her everything that had been happening. Lydia called Sachelle, who
said that she'd do whatever Lydia wanted, that it was

(01:02:52):
all Lydia's money, including investments and bank accounts, to be
put in the trust for the kids. That's when Lydia
called her attorney back so that she wanted to change
the will to list to me as sole executor and
my wife and me as trustees of the trust for
the twins. It's clear.

Speaker 6 (01:03:08):
I mean, she's like maybe bodily not able to do
a lot, but like mentally it seems like she's still fine.

Speaker 5 (01:03:14):
Yeah. And to find out that.

Speaker 6 (01:03:16):
Your sister has been giving you way more morphine that
you're supposed to be getting, yeah, stealing your jewelry. Like
if I were lady, I'd be like.

Speaker 5 (01:03:22):
Yeah, I don't literally my executor. Yeah, this kid, Betty
is like, you know, can't help but being honest because
she's a child. I forget how old, but she seems
a little older than I thought. But anyway, Betty's like
spilling all the tea and then she's hearing all the lies,
seeing straight through it. It's a shell. Can't get away
with this one. In the early hours of January fifth,

(01:03:45):
Lydia called the twins into her room and said happy
birthday and one last goodbye. She got to see them
turn fifteen. It was a tough rest of the day.
As the day is led up to the funeral, we
heard rumors from family members that Sachelle was planning something.
The day of the funeral, Sechelle attempted to block the
twins in US from attending. I spoke to the funeral director,

(01:04:06):
who told her that that wasn't going to happen. She
sat in the back and sold while the twins and
us grieved for their mom. After the funeral, I was
appointed sole executor of Lydia's will and estate. I asked
the judge what could be done if Sechelle wouldn't return
the items, and he said that he could help with
the court order. Since Lydia's passing, we've reached out to
Schelle to get all items taken from the house without

(01:04:29):
consent returned. This includes the jewelry, vehicle titles, keys to
Lydia's residence, copies of the children's Social Security cards and
birth certificates, and one hundred and eighty thousand dollars that
was in Lydia's bank accounts that Sachelle transferred to her
own account. Yeah, get all that back. Michelle has admitted

(01:04:51):
to having the jewelry to Lydia's attorney, but says that
she just doesn't want to give it back. I filed
a theft report and it's waiting on the d to
decide if they'll press charges. There are some comments, but
before we hear those, I would love to hear yours, dude.

Speaker 6 (01:05:07):
I mean, I don't even I feel like you guys
are going ahead as as well as you could be. Yeah,
because she's actively just trying to steal everything from her
like deceased sister.

Speaker 4 (01:05:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:05:19):
Literally, the attorneys are like, hey, can you like give
back the money that you took and without consent, She's like, eh, yes,
I did take it.

Speaker 6 (01:05:28):
Yeah, and I'm gonna keep it. But I do I
want it though. I want to because I want it.
I don't know if you consider.

Speaker 5 (01:05:35):
That right, Like I thought that was like that would
hold up.

Speaker 6 (01:05:38):
And yeah, man, why did you take the money? I
wanted it.

Speaker 5 (01:05:44):
Like your honor, I just like it. Pretty I robbed
the bank because I wanted to. I don't I don't
see what the problem is.

Speaker 4 (01:05:53):
Your honor.

Speaker 5 (01:05:54):
I plead not guilty. But there are some comments coming.
Number one says no, a hole, and thank you for
fighting for these children. I hope everything works out in
these children's favor. I was wondering, though, is Schelle not
going to face any charges for increasing the mother's dosage
to take her possessions without permission? Did APS not consider

(01:06:16):
this a criminal act? Will the judge who ordered the
return of the items and money consider this an arrestable offense?
How long does she have until there is warrant? I'll
be keeping an eye out for an update. Wishing you
and the children the strength to be able to grieve safely. Sorry,
if these are too many questions, obviously, please don't answer
if you don't want to have a wonderful day with

(01:06:37):
your family. Common an OPI response. APS dropped the case
when the mom passed, which blew my mind. T who
I'm guessing is some sort of attorney in the situation, said, Oh,
we only file charges if she was still doing it.
I'm working on it. But the lawyer that Sachelle has
was the old district attorney in the DA's office, said
that they trust him to convince her to give it back.

(01:06:59):
Of a truly common two says not the A. Hills
sounds to me that pursuing a legal remedy is your
only viable option, so shall it sounds like a piece
of work that can only be trusted to put her
own interests before anyone else's. NOP responds, that's if the
DA will press charges. Common Number three says not the
a whole. Unfortunately, Lydia Rest in Peace should have had

(01:07:21):
the trust administered by a neutral third party, including access
to valuables in a safe deposit box, itemized and listed
in the trust. The important part is you have been
in our family to these children. Just make sure to
do things without malice through your attorney. One eighty K
is no small amount of money. You have to follow
through legally, OPI says, yes, I wish the mom would

(01:07:43):
have listed items specifically and when she passed, had all
her accounts be listed as paid on passing to the trust.
But that's what the aunt was supposed to do, and
that's it. That's all we got.

Speaker 4 (01:07:55):
My gosh, you don't have an update.

Speaker 5 (01:07:57):
Oh man, that's all right, Dane, Well, good luck O
P would luck o P. I mean props to you
for really taking care of these kids.

Speaker 6 (01:08:06):
That I mean, like it really feels like op he
started dating his partner, was told that these the kids
were like part of the deal, and then it was
like yeah, totally on board. And then was told like, okay,
we're literally going to become guardians to these kids, and I
was like yeah, let's do it, and then was told

(01:08:28):
that the mother was passing away so they'd have to
like literally adopt these kids.

Speaker 5 (01:08:32):
Yeah, a lot, but you did.

Speaker 4 (01:08:36):
Doing really well.

Speaker 5 (01:08:36):
You're yeah, you're definitely doing the right thing.

All Episodes

My boyfriend’s sister is OBSESSED with him… and I think it’s crossing the line! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2321

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My boyfriend’s sister is OBSESSED with him… and I think it’s crossing the line! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2321