My boyfriend’s step mother CONFISCATED our baby shower gifts… in case “we break up”! - r/relationship_advice | Reddit Stories | EP2239 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are
the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcast and we have
some foundational stories coming up for you. But the thing
is this foundation needs a little support from these sponsors.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
So stick around two minutes and we'll get into the episode.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
My boyfriend's stepmother confiscated our baby shower gifts in case
we break up, Just.

Speaker 4 (00:21):
In case of emergency.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
Me and my boyfriend had only been dating about two
months when we got the positive test. Oh wow, this
is a quick one, a quick one. We have now
been dating for about nine months. He has made it
clear that he never wanted kids and has been struggling
with parental anxiety, but has made it clear that he
would like to be involved in her life. By the way,
this comes from sufficient Ball two six four five, And
if you want to submit your own stories, good to

(00:44):
the our slash Okay Storytime Separate it so as two
twenty some year olds as first time parents, these baby
showers will help us both financially to make things work
the best we can. It's been a really hard pregnancy
and it's just getting more difficult to work full time
as they get further along. We had previously considered living
together upon knowing the circumstances, but for financial and personal reasons,
our daughter will be staying full time with me at

(01:05):
my parents' house, which ended up being our only option
for the time being. My due date is August first,
and his lease for his apartment with his current roommates
ends on December first. It's important to know he has
two sets of parents, a step mom and biological father
that lived together, and a biological mother and stepdad. They
hosted a baby shower for me on June first. My

(01:26):
boyfriend's step mom, let's call her Jay, is married to
his biological father.

Speaker 5 (01:31):
This baby shower was mostly for this side of the.

Speaker 3 (01:33):
Family, his aunt's, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and great grandparents. We
received so many wonderful gifts and the baby shower was lovely.

Speaker 5 (01:41):
Something strange happened at the end of the shower.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
Though, Jay and his biological mother started hurriedly putting the
gifts away in her closet.

Speaker 5 (01:49):
I was confused.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
When me and my boyfriend had discussed what we were
going to do with the gifts after the party, we
both agreed that we would put as many gifts as
possible in his car to not make it weird with
his relatives when any bigger items would go in my parents' suv.
The whole thing seemed weird to me, and the people
that were still there sat in silence as they hurriedly
shuffled gifts away. I felt so small and like I

(02:11):
couldn't do anything. I was in his parents' house, surrounded
by his relatives. My boyfriend said that he thought that
she was just moving them out of the way. When
I asked him about it, this also seemed weird. Why
were the gifts just not brought to the cars? Jay
came up to me when she was about halfway done
putting gifts away and told me, don't worry, I'm just
putting the gifts away so I can make returns if

(02:32):
there are duplicates. Exchanges and thank yous on your behalf,
and they went back to quickly stashing away the gifts.
I received no duplicates out of the shower except for
two swings. But even then, why do I not get
to pick which swing I want out of the two?
This is where we both made a mistake, with us
both being equally confused and tired of from the festivities.

(02:52):
We left with no gifts his family was just as
you would imagine a twenty two year old's baby shower
to go.

Speaker 5 (02:59):
I think we'd get the picture.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
It was littered with comments such as get ready for
your life to end.

Speaker 4 (03:04):
It's like say goodbye to the rest of your life.

Speaker 5 (03:06):
See he'll be.

Speaker 4 (03:08):
Sentenced to eighteen years on fatherhood.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
Like that was so not what I was expecting. But
also say goodbye to your free time. Pretty much just
usual hassling that people receive from relatives, regardless of age,
which just made things so much worse with his anxiety
already about being a first time dad. I found out
later that she had decided that she would keep the
gifts at her house without talking to me or my boyfriend.

(03:31):
She chose to put them in her closet without even
letting one of us know that's what she planned to do.
I got a text from Jay about a week later
telling me that she had gotten everything split up between us.
I just got more confused. Do they not know that
she will be living with me full time? Turns out
Jay didn't agree with our living situation and told my
boyfriend that she was scared that I would just rush

(03:52):
off with the gifts and keep his daughter away from him.

Speaker 4 (03:55):
What which is tradition, the baby shower tradition?

Speaker 3 (03:58):
Yeah, absolutely, It's just strange to think that, Like, you know,
even if they didn't stay together, I feel like the
baby might still need some of these things.

Speaker 4 (04:07):
Right, It's just like, what's the real motive here, because
that doesn't make any sense. So are they selling it?
Are they dating cash? Are they giving it to another family?
Is there a black market underground baby shower gift like
network and they pass these around? They selling this stuff
for money? That's my guess.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
Uhh, yeah, that's a Greek guys. The stuff gets add
up get expensive. His stepmom and dad wanted to make
sure that he had something after trying time and time
again to explain our situation to them and that if
we were to move out together, it would be in
December or later.

Speaker 5 (04:41):
He works full time.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
He hasn't worked at his current job long enough to
qualify for a paternity leave, meaning that I will be
with her full time on my maternity leave, night and day.
He wants to see her every time that he can,
after work, on weekends, et cetera. Right now, with our
combined incomes, we just can't afford to move in together.
When Jay had sent her son to drop off the
baby shower gifts, I immediately noticed that there were two
big ticket items missing. A swing I received two and

(05:06):
a pack and play. I planned on returning one of
the swings and buying a car seat or crib. Both
gifts were about four hundred dollars. Dang, yeah, they're definitely
going to sell these keep it for themselves.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
I don't like, what are they selling it for? For money?
But like what are they using the money for? You
know what I mean? Like, maybe this is like actually
a tative.

Speaker 5 (05:26):
Oh yeah, well given to the poor? Why you look
like Fred Flintstone broke it look like an actual fit.

Speaker 3 (05:34):
Jay had her daughter make a detailed thank you list
with every gift given, which I use as a checklist
for every item given to me. A very smart opie.
The stepmom had taken and withheld about two.

Speaker 5 (05:44):
Thirds of the gifts.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
Every time that he tries to speak to his family
about this, trust me, I would never say a word
to them. She's saying, this is his family. They give
him another excuse. We were scared her family was going
to run off with the gifts to wear my family's house,
where she will be staying full time for the time eating, She's.

Speaker 4 (06:03):
Just gonna run off and use these gifts for child
that she's having with you. Oh dare she?

Speaker 3 (06:10):
Oh my goodness, we wanted to make sure you had something.
It just seems like she's running off with a bunch
of free stuff and abandoning you. Or my personal favorite,
why is your girlfriend being so materialistic?

Speaker 5 (06:22):
It's obvious she plans to leave be Who are.

Speaker 4 (06:25):
You materialistic about the stuff for the baby she's having?

Speaker 5 (06:29):
For real? This is like such useful stuff.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
Baby shower stuff is like please, I need a help
kind of stuff.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
Like what are they gonna buy with this money? I
don't want any because clearly whatever it is is completely
taking hold of their lives. Yeah, but I would like
to know what it is that has caused them to
do this.

Speaker 3 (06:47):
Yeah, Like because didn't they also buy some gifts for them?
Like if they were so worried about all this stuff,
like I would they even bring gifts to the baby shower?
I guess I'm just assuming that they didn't actually specifically say,
but that's what I would guess.

Speaker 4 (07:01):
I don't know. It's like someone had a puppy shower.
You know, we're getting a puppy. Yeah, we're gonna take
care of it over at my place. And they're like, yeah,
all these bags of dog food we're just gonna keep
in the closet here in case you get any funny
business ideas.

Speaker 5 (07:13):
Yeah, but he's you've run away anyway.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
I've gone out of my way to build good relationships
with his entire family, and it hurts to know that's
what they really think of me. I think the funniest
part about all of this is the fact that he
specifically said that he didn't want anything from the Showers
baby wise, except for a car seat. It's like his
family expects me to withhold the gifts from him, or
like we aren't two adults that can make decisions for

(07:37):
our own child. They're not just keeping the gifts from me,
the girl their son knocked up, but they are actively
breaking my trust as the mother of their unborn grandchild.
Just a handful of confiscated gifts include lactation pads, what
the heck, front airbag, milk storage bags, newborn diapers. All
of the ones I received were taken actually splitting and

(08:00):
opening packs of Onesies between US. Cards and return receipts
are included with the gifts, gift cards, bottles, newborn onesies.
I'm so serious. She took a front airbag pump from
me because she was splitting things up. I feel sick
knowing that she kept literal diapers from us and items
only I would ever use, regardless of our living situation.

(08:21):
Jay made me feel like every gift given to us
was conditional, like it had to be earned or begged
for until she got her way. It felt like a
toddler throwing a fit that things weren't exactly the way
that she wanted them. I've thought through every possible reason
about why someone would do what she did.

Speaker 5 (08:38):
Is it because Jay's daughter just found out that she's pregnant.
Is she keeping the gifts for her daughter?

Speaker 4 (08:43):
Probably?

Speaker 3 (08:44):
Is it about the money when she is already so
well off? Is it an attempt to control us both?
Or does she really think that she's doing the right
thing on some level or another. I understand some random
girl he knocked up won't have the same level of
trust that her steps has, but why does she get
to choose what is the right thing for him to do?
I understand it looks weird that he is living with

(09:05):
me full time for the time being, but we literally
have no other choice. It's not like his parents are
offering him a spare bedroom. They don't want to make
solutions to the living space, They just want to control it.
I can't afford anything better. It makes me feel like
a horrible person already that I can't give my daughter
a better life, and all of their judgment just made
me feel so much worse. I'm trying my best to

(09:26):
make the circumstances work. I love my daughter and want
her to have everything she needs the best of my ability.
At the end of the day, I just don't understand,
even if she was splitting things up between us, why
were the milk storage bags and lactation pads taken from me?
Why did I not get to keep the nice onesies
with the zippers or get to pick out which swing
I wanted? Why does Jay get to pick and choose

(09:48):
what we each need for a child. Why don't I
get to own the front air bag pump? They are
literally my front airbags. You are so right about tho.

Speaker 5 (10:00):
I don't know. I don't know why you don't get.

Speaker 4 (10:01):
To keep those favorite sensors front airbags.

Speaker 5 (10:04):
Front airbags.

Speaker 4 (10:06):
Yeah, but like it's again, like hopefully. You know, we
can't always learn every lesson the hard way, so we
hear stories like these and we learn lessons the easy way,
which is if people are shoving your baby shower gifts
into their closet saying don't worry about these, don't worry
about these, Maybe just take them. Maybe say hey, actually, no,
you don't worry about these because they are ours.

Speaker 3 (10:27):
I got them. I know I'm pregnant, but front airbag
pub is not that heavy. I got you. This entire
situation has just made me feel so small. It feels
like I can't do anything at all. I feel so
frustrated and like this is the worst way to manipulate
someone by withholding nonconditional gifts from a literal unborn child.
I have another baby shower coming up with his other
side of the family. His biological mother and stepdad are

(10:49):
hosting this one. Knowing his biological mother helps his stepmom
bring the gifts into her closet and helped to withhold.

Speaker 5 (10:55):
Them from us. I am just so anxious.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
If they're trying to control both of our now and
the lives of an unborn child, what about when she's
here my entire pregnancy? They have told me horrible things
such as, you need to stop taking your parents' money
and sign up for government daycare, I work full time
and pay rent to my parents, or you're making it
so much more difficult for each other by not moving
in together, and of course all of the usual unwanted

(11:20):
pregnancy advice and comments about different things. Usually the first
thing people ask me is whether or not I'm planning
to front airbag feed even strangers, and the random belly
rubs from absolute strangers are even worse. The last thing
I need is comments from people I actually know. My
boyfriend feels indifferent to the situation. On one hand, he
understands why they did it and isn't angry. On the

(11:42):
other hand, he realizes this is them being controlling towards
us and is literally telling us exactly how they will
be when she is here. Regardless of it, it's been
in his best interest. He shouldn't have decisions made on
his behalf by his parents as a moved out adult
without even heads up. I do have three more baby showers,
one with the other side of his extended family, one
with my side of the family, and one with my

(12:03):
friends and coworkers.

Speaker 5 (12:05):
That's a whole lot of baby showers.

Speaker 4 (12:06):
Good for you, man, that's great, squeaky clean.

Speaker 5 (12:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:11):
He tells me not to worry because I have three
more showers. But what I keep trying to tell him
is that I can't just rely on those people to
buy everything we need. What if we needed the extra
money from returns to buy something super essential?

Speaker 4 (12:24):
This is principle. Yeah, this is not like, ah, whatever,
We'll just let him imply that you're like a kremlin
who wants to steal pregnancy and baby supplies to leave me. Yeah, like,
first of all, think better of my partners. Second of all,
give us our stuff yesterday. Like what are you doing?

Speaker 5 (12:46):
Yeah, oh, we have three more showers.

Speaker 3 (12:48):
Stand on madness, especially since these people are gonna be
at at least one more of those showers. So like,
what's the point of even having the showers if you can't.

Speaker 5 (12:58):
Keep the gifts?

Speaker 3 (12:59):
That's what they're pretty much not to be materialistic, but
babies are expected.

Speaker 4 (13:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:04):
I don't even have a crib, a car seat, a dresser,
a changing table topper. Now, I don't even have diapers.
I cannot possibly depend on three or more people to
spend upwards of one hundred dollars reasonably, these might be
the only big gifts we received that we could return
for something else we need more. He's told me that
growing up they made him feel like he was just there,

(13:25):
and he didn't have a good relationship with his stepmom
for a long time over how controlling she was growing up.
It makes me sad that she made a little kid
feel like he wasn't as valued as her biological children
even when he became older. She did this like paying
the full amount for her biological children to go on
vacations Disney, et cetera, but if he wanted to go,
it became conditional. He had to pay for the plane

(13:45):
ticket if you wanted to go to California beaches with
her biological children while they got a full ride. I'm
scared Jay is just going to do this again to
my daughter, and now that her biological family member is
carrying a grandchild too.

Speaker 5 (13:56):
What do we think? Do we have any final thoughts
before we wrap things up?

Speaker 4 (13:59):
Used everyone? I think these people are not gonna be
a positive force in your life. They other your partner.
He's not the biological child. Like They're gonna do the
exact same thing your kids, leave them in the past,
leave them in the in the mud.

Speaker 5 (14:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:16):
I think you get people on your side of the family,
gather them up, and then you text these people that
are the thieves and you say like, Hey, I forgot
something at your house, or Hey you want to meet up,
or Hey, better yet, I have a gift for you.
Can I come over to give it to you? And say, Hi,
just drop by really quick. Yeah, yeah, and just me,

(14:37):
don't worry about it.

Speaker 5 (14:37):
It's just gonna be me.

Speaker 3 (14:38):
Then you walk in with three people and at least
and then you just go straight for their closet and
just start picking things up and go.

Speaker 4 (14:44):
Yeah, and you say, there's my gift to you on
making more space.

Speaker 5 (14:47):
Yeah, there's a little bit more to the story. Let's
get on into it.

Speaker 3 (14:50):
It's such a complicated situation and I am lost on
what to do. Every answer makes me feel materialistic or
selfish for wanting these gifts, but I wouldn't be able
to afford them out the wise. Obviously, if he wanted
to the gifts from his family, he is more than
welcome to keep, but they were supposed to be for.

Speaker 5 (15:07):
Both of us, for our unborn child.

Speaker 3 (15:09):
It feels like I'm going through a divorce, trying to
split our assets. Why did his family have to make
it so weird for me? And there are some comments
coming to her. Number one says, Okay, boyfriend needs to
cowboy the f up.

Speaker 5 (15:21):
He needs to go talk to his dad.

Speaker 3 (15:22):
I'm assuming the stuff is at his house and tell
him that he's there to pick up the stuff. Maybe
best he do this while the stepmom is out. Then
he walks to the closet starts collecting the stuff.

Speaker 5 (15:33):
What did I say?

Speaker 3 (15:34):
If dad stops him, boyfriend needs to remind him. Then
these gifts that were given to his granddaughter that's about
to be born. As that baby's father, your boyfriend gets
to decide what happens to them. He also gets to
decide about who can see his baby and be.

Speaker 5 (15:49):
Involved in her life.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
You shouldn't be involved in this at all, though, doubtless
you'll be blamed. Someone responds, OPI I agree with above
post about contacting the police. Oh WHOA, I guess someone
said attack the police, but I do that. First, take
your information to the police, all the charges, then give
them the opportunity to return the items. These miscreants don't
warrant advanced notice. They'll immediately remove everything to another location.

(16:15):
They do not warrant the benefit of the doubt. Go
attack mode they stole from you. Good luck, o Pee,
please keep us apprized.

Speaker 4 (16:23):
Attack mode.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
Command it too says I think you need to take
this public, tell his entire family how she is behaving.
Someone responds this, send out a group message thank you
for all the generous gifts. It's unfortunate that we won't
be able to use two thirds of them because they
were taken away. If you would like to have your
money refunded, please contact Jay. Honestly, yeah, good because so
many of these people, I mean all of them, all

(16:46):
of these people bought these gifts for the intention to
help out Ope and her boyfriend. So it's like, it's
so unfair to them to just be like, oh, actually
it's not gonna be used for that adult. It's just
gonna be wasted. His front airbag pump is gonna be
wasted in this non pregnant woman's home. Comment number three says,
I'd be very concerned that they plan to help out
with the baby, and a heck of a lot more

(17:08):
than you want them to, because, as you said, you're
young and he's not that invested, get a formal custody
agreement set up, and be careful babies might people go
effing nuts. Comentre number four says name probably Jay Jay.
We need you to return all the baby shower gifts
you have taken. They were not intended for you, and
while we prefer not to file a police report, we

(17:30):
will do so if we do not have everything returned
to our home by Saturday, June fifteenth, twenty twenty four.
Are If you force us to file a police report,
we will not be shy about sharing it and what
you have done with everyone at the baby shower, as
well as family and friends. Please contact us with any questions.
I might include a list because you know what was
taken and that is the end of that story.

Speaker 6 (17:52):
I dated my ex girlfriend's sister. Years later, she confessed
I ruined her life.

Speaker 4 (17:57):
Ain't that always the way it goes?

Speaker 6 (17:59):
Editors note original names are g and V. I changed
it to Gigi and Veronica. This might not seem like
a big deal to most people reading, but it's become
a big deal for me and my fiance. When I
was fourteen, I became best friends with a girl let's
call her Gigi. When we were sixteen, we started dating
spent all our time together basic teenage love stuff. By
the way, this comes from Marino Scopie and if you

(18:21):
want to spit your own stories, go to the rs
slash Okay storytime subbout it. During this time, I became
close with her little sister, Veronica, who was thirteen. Veronica
and I were always friendly with one another, some teasing,
some fighting, but just general kids being kids. So Gigi
and I dated for four years and ended up breaking
up when we were in college because we wanted different
things in our life. I was fine with having only

(18:43):
Gigi as my partner for life, and Gigi felt like
she'd be missing out on her girls just want to
have fun day. This was obviously a pretty rough time
for me, for Gig and for our whole friend group.
The relationship was basically a corpse for several months, dragged
along by our unwillingness to let each other go. She
proposed an open relationship several times, and I just couldn't

(19:03):
bring myself to agree to it. During this time, Veronica
got pretty angry with her sister Gigi, because Veronica, by
that point, saw me as part of the family. I
found out later that Veronica and Gig got into regular
fights about Gigi's inability to commit to me. At this time,
Veronica was seventeen years old and Gigi was twenty, so
it's not like Veronica could really.

Speaker 5 (19:22):
Force Gigi to do anything.

Speaker 6 (19:23):
Eventually, Gigi and I broke up and our four year
relationship and six year friendship came to an end. I
felt the right thing to do was probably distance myself
from Veronica as well, because being as close to Veronica
as I usually was would mean that I'd never quite
leave Gigi's life. This ended up backfiring because it made
Veronica very upset, and she basically interpreted this to mean

(19:44):
that Veronica and I were never really friends and I
was only tolerating.

Speaker 5 (19:48):
Her for Gigi's sake.

Speaker 6 (19:49):
Out of guilt or out of some selfish desire to
not lose yet another piece of my life. I acquiesced
to Veronica and we stayed friends. This was in twenty fourteen.
By twenty fifteen, Veronica I was eighteen and I was
twenty one. You came to the same college I was in,
and we were good friends. I always kept some distance
with Veronica out of respect to Gigi. This means that
no matter how friendly I was with Veronica, never really

(20:11):
talk to her about really personal stuff for my romantic life.
It was a good friend, but not a close friend. Then,
in late twenty fifteen, there was incident where Veronica behaved
extremely jealous towards a girl I was casually seeing that.
There was another incident in early twenty sixteen where Veronica
was found to be crap talk and a different girl
I was seeing, and when I confronted Veronica about it,

(20:32):
Veronica basically confessed that she had developed feelings for me.
I shut that down immediately because every part of it
felt totally and viscerally wrong. But at the time, Veronica
assured me that Gigi was okay with it and her
mom was okay with the two. She put all her
cards on the table and says that while she understands
I view her as a kid, she'd like the chance
to at least date me and change my mind. Obviously,

(20:55):
she succeeded, because as of February this year, she and
I are engaged.

Speaker 4 (21:00):
Oh oh, okay.

Speaker 6 (21:01):
We've been together for five years now, and it's by
far the best relationship I've ever been the Only problem
is that it turns out Veronica lied about one thing
at the start of the relationship. While it's true that
her mother loves me and was totally fine with Veronica
dating me, Gigi was never okay with it. In fact,
Gigi was very much not okay with it and has
been vocal about this to Veronica. Gigi never said any

(21:23):
of this to me because she and I were no contact.
All of this is coming up now in twenty twenty
because Gigi is over our apartment for the week and
on day two, yesterday, she gets wasted and blurts out
how I upgraded to a younger, prettier model by dating
her little sister. Veronica was already passed out by this point,
so she had no idea that Gigi said these things

(21:44):
to me. But at the time I got defensive and
said that Gigi was okay with it at the time,
so why did it bother her so much. Half a
decade later then Gig told me the truth about how
she was never okay with it. But then she found
out that I had agreed to give Veronica a chance,
and it broke her heart and she tried to let
go of the jealousy she was feeling. Five years later,
she still feels intense pangs of jealousy, all made worse

(22:07):
by the wedding planning for our twenty twenty one marriage.
Gigi says that she regrets asking me for a breakup
and the single life wasn't worth losing love for. She
assured me that she wasn't trying to break Veronica and
myself up or trying to get me back. She said
that she just needed me to know how she really feels.
She also attributes these feelings of rejection and loss as
the cause of her depression, which incidentally has derailed her

(22:29):
life for the last four years. So the times match up.
I guess what's the right move here. Do I tell
Veronica about Gigi's confession? Do I pretend like I didn't
hear any of this? Absolutely tell her she's your fyance
and this is her sister confessing that she's in love
with you.

Speaker 5 (22:43):
Yes, you should tell your partner.

Speaker 6 (22:45):
Gigi doesn't seem to remember what she said or is
playing it off like she didn't confess anything. I'm going
to talk to my fiance and let her know what happened.
I'm not going to turn this into any more drama
or big fight. Before I post to the last thread.
I was going to just let this whole thing pass
us away and never speak to Veronica about it, but
the majority of you felt it was best to at
least be honest.

Speaker 5 (23:06):
To Veronica, and at some point you all convinced me.

Speaker 6 (23:08):
So yesterday morning, I sat Veronica down and told her
what had happened. Gigi was away at this point, so
I had the privacy for a real conversation. A lot
of people in the last post really mistook what kind
of person Veronica is. In my opinion, Veronica isn't some
kind of evil mastermind that was playing me, her mother,
her sister, and everyone else like puppets dancing on her strings.
When I met her, she was an earnest kid, and

(23:30):
she grew to be an honest but determined teenager at
the time that we started dating. I mentioned this so
the people understand that this conversation wasn't an interrogation. I
just wanted to know what she thought about what Gigi said.
As it turns out, the truth is always somewhere in between,
and I've learned a lot of new information. I just
let her speak and get everything off her chest. I
didn't interrupt to ask for clarification or interject to argue

(23:53):
at any point. The way I'm going to write this
down is probably annoying to read, but it's the way
I processed them. New equals totally new, confirmed equals info.
Gigi told me that Veronica confirmed MESSI equals Infoggi told
me that wasn't fully honest new information. Veronica's been in
love with me for longer than I thought. Gigi and
I were planning on taking her to the carnival in

(24:14):
town on her fourteenth birthday along with her group of friends,
but Gigi got sick and Veronica was starting to get sick,
so they figured the whole plan was canceled. I don't
remember much of this event, but she remembers that I
cheered her up and convinced her to go to the carnival.
So it was me plus Veronica plus Veronica's friends, and
when Veronica would get tired or need to sit down
and rehydrate, I'd sit with her. She remembers that one

(24:34):
of her friends was flirting with me and at one
point gave me a compliment, and I redirected the compliment
to Veronica, and it made Veronica feel like a million bucks,
says this was the night she fell in love. Confirmed
Gig suspected Veronica number one. I used to shower at
Gigi's house once in a while, especially during summer vacation.
This only used to happen after pickup games. If Gigi

(24:54):
wanted to hang out afterwards, I'd leave dirty laundry here
for Gigi to throw into the watch. Turns out Veronica
started helping her later on, and Gig noticed that Veronica
only helped her when my dirty clothes were in the hamper,
never on a normal day. Confirmed Gigi suspected Veronica number two.
Senior year of high school, I took art history. I
didn't give a crap about the class, but Veronica was

(25:16):
super interested in hearing from me about it. Turns out
GG caught Veronica researching my class topics several times so
that Veronica could hold conversations with me. Confirmed Gigi suspected
Veronica number three. Gigi knew that Veronica would put on
makeup and tidy herself up every time I came to
visit Gigi. Even if I'm just picking Gigi up to
take Gigi out, Veronica would come downstairs with makeup on

(25:37):
to chat with me for a bit. Before I left,
I didn't mention to Veronica that I didn't notice at all.
Messy Gigi opposed Veronica's feelings then came around, so Veronica
told Gigi earnestly about her feelings for me before she
even told her mom. This was six months after Gigi's
and my relationship ended. Oh gg got pretty heated at this,
and a week after Veronica told Gigi, there was an

(25:58):
incident between the sisters. Gigi basically chewed Veronica out. Gigi
then told Veronica that I'd never fall for Veronica. This
was when Veronica basically called out Gigi and said that
Gigi would never be happy for me. In this conversation,
Gigi explicitly said that if by some miracle, I said
yes to Veronica, then Gigi would put her tail between
her legs and admit she was wrong. Gigi later one

(26:20):
monthish apologized about how she spoke to Veronica and said
that if Veronica truly loved me, she was happy for
Veronica Massi. Gigi encouraged Veronica to confess to me. The
next big episode regarding me came the month that Veronica
confessed to me. Veronica and I were in a bit
of a fight because I didn't like how she had
behaved to a girl I was friends with benefits with.
Veronica was crying at home, and Gigi basically encouraged Veronica

(26:44):
to rip the band aid off and tell me how
she feels this way. If I rejected Veronica, Veronica can
at least move on, which I think is what Gigi
was betting was gonna happen.

Speaker 4 (26:54):
Correct.

Speaker 6 (26:55):
Veronica asked Gigi if that was really okay, and Gigi
said yes, Massi. Gigu was happy and scared. When Veronica
was about to confess in a conversation the evening that
Veronica was going to tell me her feelings, Veronica and
Gigi spoke again over the phone. Veronica remembers that Gigi
made a very ify joke that's just that that Gigi
was hurting. Veronica paused the convo and asked gig if

(27:16):
she was really okay with this. Gigi backpedaled and insisted
it was just a joke and so she was excited
for her little sis. Veronica remembers the joke comment being
something like, good luck getting the love of my life.
The truth is more complicated, I guess. Turns out that
Veronica had feelings for me a long time ago. Things
like falling in love with me and for taking her
to a carnival on her birthday seemed dramatic and immature

(27:36):
in retrospect, but it's important bits that make up a
bigger truth. Also turns out that Gigi had small, nagging
suspicions over the years. But most important is that it
turns out when I was single and Veronica was working
up courage to make a move, Gigi wasn't actually in opposition.
Gigi ended up being a good sister and encouraging Veronica
to chase what she wanted. What further complicates things is
that Gigi used to express some insecurity about her body

(27:59):
and how much more beiful read write curves Veronica was
back during the last two years of dating. I dismissed
these insecurities and I used to laugh them off because, oh,
at the time, Gigi was eighteen and Veronica was fifteen,
How does an eighteen year old even compare herself to
a fifteen year old. I didn't know that there was
this underlying sentiment of competition over the years. To spend

(28:20):
years feeling jealous of your little sister and must have
been torture. This was the least dramatic way I could
think to resolve this. Since Gig either deceitfully or genuinely
doesn't remember any of her confessions to me, I'm going
to let Sleeping Dogs lie. I think Ronica is perfect,
and I wish I could go back in time and
take away the heartache she must have felt over the
years as some insecure kid, not knowing if I'd ever

(28:40):
love or not. I'm posting this update partly to organize
my thoughts, but also in case anyone feels strongly that
I should.

Speaker 5 (28:46):
Talk to Gigi.

Speaker 6 (28:46):
I believe letting this rest and not poking it anymore
is the best option. Agree or disagree, Agree, leave it alone.
You've already told your fiance that's all you needed to do.
Don't bring this.

Speaker 4 (28:55):
Up with Gig.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
Here.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
We're gonna get back to this, but here's three minutes
of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 5 (29:02):
My girlfriend is afraid I'll cheat on her. It's really
our relationship.

Speaker 4 (29:06):
Well you might as well just do it then.

Speaker 6 (29:08):
I Mail twenty five met my ex Mike Mail twenty
nine last year through Instagram. I started talking to him
in an effort to forget my previous ex who cheated
on me multiple times with men and a sweet girl
who wanted a family with him. Just for clarification, I'm
not the type of man that likes to hook up
just for the sake of it. I love the intimacy
of being in a relationship. By the way, this comes

(29:29):
from only Alive because and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime
suburn it. Having said that, I just wanted to try
my luck with a fairly handsome guy since I wasn't
having any luck with the ladies on by. We hit
it off from the first message, but I did notice
that every time we talked about the type of guys
we like, he's just gay. Mike talked about liking guys
older than me, taller than me, the works. So because

(29:52):
of that, I decided to keep him as a friend,
since I don't have any male friends from the LGBT community,
even though I'm part of it myself, and even though
I was already falling in love with him. This happened
in the span of four months more or less. Fast forward.
We went out clubbing one night with some friends of his,
three women Mike and me. Two of them are savvoc
and I wanted to get with the only straight one. However,

(30:13):
we drank a lot more than we could handle, and
after getting rejected by his friend, I went back to
Mike just to dance and for him to cheer me up.
We started dancing and getting closer and closer, and then.

Speaker 5 (30:24):
He kissed me.

Speaker 6 (30:25):
I was taken aback by this, and he chuckled and
then said I knew you wanted this, sup Ben, and
I started laughing with him. We kissed a lot more
that night and kept dancing and having fun. The next
day I realized what had happened, and the feelings I
tried so hard to ignore were bursting out of my
heart again. We kept going out periodically, at least one
night a month, sometimes two. The concerts, the movies, you

(30:47):
get it. Somewhere down the line, my birthday happened. I
don't like to celebrate it, but I get sad when
people don't remember it, and Mike forgot. The following week,
he realized he had forgotten my birthday and said he
would make up for it. We planned to meet up
at them All to watch a movie and for him
to give me my birthday present his idea. When I
got there, he gave me a big hug. I freaking
love hugs. I'm a very physical guy, and he apologized

(31:08):
and said that he left my gift in his car.
I told him not to worry and said we could
get it later. So we went to the movies, then
for coffee. I did notice that he was hugging me
a lot more than usual, but I didn't mind, as
I said, I love hugs. Finally, Mike told me to
accompany him to his car to get my present.

Speaker 5 (31:24):
I went with him. Then in his car, he told me.

Speaker 6 (31:26):
To get in, as in he wanted to hug me
and didn't want people to give us looks. I live
in a very closet officery country in Latin America. That
set an alarm in my head since he was hugging
me not even thirty minutes ago, but I complied. I
got in, he gave me my gift. I thanked him
and he gave me a hug. After that, he whispered
in my ear if he could kiss me. It caught

(31:48):
me off card and I couldn't answer, but he went
for it and kissed me. I was floored the same
guy that I wanted to forget I had feelings for,
and that I came to the conclusion I had no
feelings for me was kissing me. Not only that, but
while being sober, Mike told me that he liked me
and asked if I liked him bat and I couldn't
think of words to say it back, so I kissed
him and we started laughing and kissing.

Speaker 5 (32:07):
After that we became a formal couple.

Speaker 6 (32:09):
We went out every two weeks, since he lives a
bit far from me and he didn't want me to
make the commute just for him. We both live with
our parents and are still in the closet. Relevant information.
Mike is a swiftie. I swear this will be important later,
and I am not. I don't really like Taylor that much,
just some songs here and there. Mike has a group
of friends that know each other just because of being swifties.

(32:30):
They make parties of their own, made a party when
the aerostore was announced, things like that. Since I'm not
a fan, I didn't mingle with their group, and when
they had parties, I had no issue with him going
alone with them.

Speaker 5 (32:40):
Since you know, he was among his friends.

Speaker 6 (32:42):
Then it came Christmas, or more specifically, December twenty third,
Mike's Mom's birthday. His family made a dinner party at
his house, and he invited me, of course as a
friend for his family.

Speaker 5 (32:52):
Say.

Speaker 6 (32:52):
I was so excited, as this was my first time
meeting all of his family and I wanted to make
a great impression. So I really made an apple and
bought his mom a great gift and also a gift
for Mike since we wouldn't see each other on Christmas Day.
I gave her the gift and she was very happy
with it. And then I gave Mike his gift and
told him how much I loved him, how much he
meant to me, and that he deserved all of the

(33:13):
goodness in the universe. He kept repeating that he didn't
deserve it and that I was being too generous. Do
we think that he's guilty?

Speaker 4 (33:19):
Sounds like he's got some internalized guilt.

Speaker 6 (33:22):
It struck me as weird. But I too don't know
how to take compliments or receive gifts. Sad I know,
so I brushed that off. Then on Christmas Day, we
kept chatting updates on what our families were doing. Unfortunately,
I had to work that day, but we made the
best of it. At nine pm, when the last members
of my family were going home, I got a message
from Mike. It read, we need to talk. I fed up, ominous,

(33:44):
and we all know what that message means. He called
me crying and confessed that he kissed a friend of
his during the Christmas Swifty party they had at the
beginning of December. He told me that he was so
sorry and he didn't want to hurt me, but that
he was accustomed to being alone. I didn't take it well.
He knew my exited to me, and I asked him
not to do the same thing to me, and he
went and did the same thing to me. I was

(34:05):
laying into him with my heart bleeding each bird. At
one point, I guess he got fed up and said,
I know I cheated on you, but it doesn't look
I did something illegal. I was flabbergasted at that, then
told him that I hoped he was happy. I hope
you're happy now, and not to do the same thing
to the next dude that came into his life that
we were over. Mike only answered, you really think there'll
be another one? I couldn't take it anymore and I

(34:26):
disconnected the call. I cried myself to sleep that night,
and the following day and the day after that. I
was destroyed. He played me the same way my previous
acts played me and made me believe that in him,
being older, you would be a centered, mature individual who
wouldn't cheat on someone who loves them with all their heart.
I slowly started making progress and getting over him. Since
January twenty twenty four, I started going to the gym

(34:48):
more I returned to college. Even then, I still missed
him and wanted to get back with him, but hope
for his next relationship to be successful. An old teacher
of mine who I told what happened and was in
shock that he could do something like that that and whose
boyfriend is part of the Swifties group, told me that
he was cheated on by the guy he cheated on
me with, whoa those guys serial cheater, and that if
it were in my hands, that relationship would work for him.

(35:10):
Last week, I went to a concert at a bar.
The same band we went to see together for the
first time was performing there, and even though I knew
them only because of him, I wasn't willing to stop
going to their concerts just because Mike could be there.
I went with a friend of mine and lo and behold,
Mike went to the concert with no other than the
guy he cheated on me with.

Speaker 5 (35:30):
But I didn't know that yet.

Speaker 6 (35:31):
At the time, I didn't mind all that much because
I was with my friend. But when I went for
more drinks for my pal and me to the counter,
which was where they were unknown to me before going,
I noticed that they were avoiding me. He went as
far as getting up and going to the end of
the bar with the other guy. I talked to my
ex teacher and he was like, I'm gonna be honest
with you. That's why I and diego his boyfriend friend
of Mike, Remember the swifty friend group didn't come with you.

Speaker 5 (35:52):
We knew he'd be there.

Speaker 6 (35:53):
And the guy Mike's with he cheated on you with him,
they're still together. I don't know why, but that text
broke me. I felt, and still feel, like the most
replaceable piece of crap in the whole world. It feels
like all the progress I was making of getting over
him was destroyed, that it never happened. I feel as
hopeless as that Christmas night. I thought I was ready
to see Mike again, but I wasn't ready to see

(36:13):
him with the guy he replaced me with. Now on
to the issue. As I stated before, I still love Mike.
I'm not downplaying the cheating or any of the other
things he did to me in the past. One of
them was arriving at my house almost three hours late
for a road trip I planned a month in a dance,
and then getting angry with me for being mad at him.
There was no emergency, he overslept and unfortunately it was

(36:33):
a bad day for traffic. But I still miss him,
and after seeing him with another guy, I'm second guessing
myself on whether or not I made the correct decision
in breaking things off when he called me. Now, he
hasn't contacted me or anything since the call, nor even
tried to text me. Would it be a good idea
to contact him and try to then things?

Speaker 3 (36:50):
No?

Speaker 4 (36:51):
Like, what do you mean? Oh, what do you mean
by that?

Speaker 3 (36:53):
No?

Speaker 5 (36:54):
I don't care what you mean by it. I don't
care if you just want to be friends.

Speaker 4 (36:56):
Nope? Do you mean like you have like a shirt
you have a hole in? And yeah? Yeah, and you
maybe for me?

Speaker 5 (37:00):
Please be kind.

Speaker 6 (37:01):
I truly am on the brink of pulling my hair
out because of the situation. Sorry if I lost the
trail of the story at multiple points, I tried to
provide all of the context possible for you to understand
how we went from friends to a situationship to a couple.
And there is an update shout out to another user
for your interest. Yea, one day what he told me
then came back to me three day to night Christmas party,

(37:23):
Christmas trip and they only kissed.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
Yeah. Nah.

Speaker 6 (37:25):
Chances are that they were doing the nasty up until
the morning of the first day, then some of the
second day, and on the third day he might have
felt a little bit guilty and only told me about
the affair for me to break up with him, make
me the bad guy in his mind, and for him
to be able to go with the other guy without
feeling guilty. Not much of a follow up to my story,
but an update of how things are going as for today.

(37:45):
Therapy has been great is helping me address my lack
of self worth and to be able to set firm boundaries.
From what my ex teacher last told me, it seems
that Mike's new relationship with the guy he cheated on
me with didn't last, or it wasn't as smooth as
I thought it to be. I don't have any more
information about Mike's life other than his motorcycle was stolen
at the beginning of twenty twenty four and that he

(38:06):
still went to the Aerostore, a trip that we were
planning to do together. But I guess you can't stop
people from accomplishing their dreams, even if you wanted to
be part of them. My ex teacher broke things off
with his then boyfriend because of the same swifty friend group,
so that goes to show how toxic those people are,
and then same friend group had a falling out because
of my ex teacher's X. So in a way, I

(38:26):
feel a tiny bit bad for Mike. He lost the
friends he was most close with and the relationship he
chose over mine. Not quite sure about this last one, though.
I would like to tell you that I'm fully over
him and that things have been amazing ever since. But unfortunately,
since our breakup, my life has been in a steady
all time low. Not because of the breakup, but because
that's life.

Speaker 5 (38:45):
I guess that's life.

Speaker 6 (38:47):
I lost my first long lasting job in April twenty
twenty four, I changed to a new one where they
stole my bonuses. Changed to another one when I was
fired with forty plus people, got another job that let
me continue in college, lost that one for underperformance. Now
I'm looking for a new job that pays enough to
continue into college and to pay my credit card debt.
Regarding love life, I've had swings here and there, usually

(39:08):
with men who can say they want a series relationship,
but I can now see through their lies and don't
fail to disappoint time and time again. They want to
have someone only for them while being able to hook
up with whoever they want. Yeah, no thanks. I haven't
been lucky with the ladies. Unfortunately. I went out with
one sweet, kind and gorgeous girl, but she only wanted
to hook up. Props to her for being upfront and
not lying just to get what she wanted, though I

(39:30):
appreciated that, but unfortunately that's not what I'm looking for.
So yeah, that's my life I'm putting till now. Please
send positive thoughts to be able to break this bad streak.
Some of my friends told me that there might be
something regarding witchcraft behind my bad luck, but I digress.

Speaker 5 (39:43):
He ope it'll come take your time.

Speaker 4 (39:46):
Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors
that keep the show going.

Speaker 4 (39:51):
My fiance thinks I tricked her to live with my friend.
She wants to leave.

Speaker 5 (39:57):
Get out of there. No tricks allowed, traps.

Speaker 4 (40:01):
We've been together for six months and I know that
even though it seems fast, I know she's the one.
She loves me just as much. But lately we've been
having a problem. By the way, this comes from user
Throwaway Unsure GF eighty three and if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay
Storytime suburday.

Speaker 3 (40:18):
So.

Speaker 4 (40:18):
We were living in my car for the last four
months because she was taking care of her grandfather with
dementia and couldn't do it anymore. He was becoming increasingly
combative and has been placed in a memory care facility.
I offered to let her stay with me. My lease
ended four months ago. We've been living in my car
while finding a new place. I'm from a city in
the southern area of the state, and we were making

(40:40):
regular trips down to visit my friends. I had a
job but was unhappy and about to quit because I
knew I could easily get back into my old job.
A couple of weeks ago, she suggested that we moved
in my city because she had nothing holding her there,
and she said she noticed I was unhappy in her
city and seemed happier in mind. She is on disability

(41:01):
and I work. So we got to my city and
I told her that there's a female friend of mine
who will let us stay with her for a few days.
My fiance and her don't know each other except for
a couple of brief meetings. It's been two weeks that
we've been staying with my friend now, and my fiance
and I got into a very heated argument this morning
because she blew up at me and said that she

(41:21):
didn't sign up for this. She said that she feels
like she's watching me have a life with another woman
and wants to end the relationship and go back to
her city. I've asked her to just hold on. I'm
trying to get a few paychecks because I just started
back at my new job as soon as we got here.
She said no, that she's tired of watching me build
a life with another woman. To be fair, I guess
I can see why she feels like this. My friend

(41:43):
is a single mom, and she has asked for my
help a lot so far. I moved a chair for her,
taking out the trash, cut her grass, opened jars, and
watched her son. My fiance and I were both raised
in a traditional value family, and she feels like my
friend is asking too much of me. I feel like
I'm I'm just helping her out in exchange for a
place to stay for a while. I've been paying her

(42:05):
though I think my fiance is being ridiculous. But she
said she's suspicious of my friend's intentions because of her
asking me for help all the time. She said she's
heard that if another woman is constantly needing a man's help,
she's doing it with the intent to steal him. I've
tried telling her that I'm not going anywhere, but she's
mad because she said she feels like I'm putting myself
in a situation where my feelings for my friend could

(42:27):
become romantic. Brother just run. She said she feels like
I don't care about her point of view. She's made
it clear she doesn't exactly like my friend because she
knows what she's up to and doesn't appreciate me just
brushing it off. Okay, go sleep, uyside, I did this
so we'd have a roof over our heads, and honestly
because I feel like, because I work, I deserve to
have a place to rest. My fiance said that it's

(42:49):
been a couple of weeks and that it seems like
I'm becoming complacent and don't want to leave or will
decide that I don't. She said, if I decide to
become roommates with my friend, she's definitely leaving. She acknowledged
that it it's her issue to deal with, but that
she's been feeling jealous because she's been watching me do
things for another woman and eating another woman's cooking.

Speaker 7 (43:08):
Where I'm from, that is pretty big if it's just
you eating another woman's cooking and not like a you know,
family get together.

Speaker 4 (43:14):
Really counterpoint?

Speaker 7 (43:15):
Come on, Okay, Let's say let's say your friend, your friend,
the one that we're both thinking of right now, he
just cooks me a meal.

Speaker 4 (43:21):
Okay, not you, just me, me and her. That's pretty intimate.
I guess here's my point. There's nothing preventing Opie's fiance from,
I don't know, cooking for everyone in the apartment, seeing
as they're being put up there. If she's like, you're
eating another woman's cooking, I don't see you cooking. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (43:37):
I just feel like the context is very important here
because I feel like if it's like I'm gonna invite
you specifically to my house, I'm going to cook a
meal for you, like I just want to be so
nice to you right now, right but.

Speaker 4 (43:50):
Not a dinner date.

Speaker 3 (43:51):
But yeah, like like I don't know, I am a
Microwhi girl.

Speaker 5 (43:54):
I don't cook for a lot of people. If I'm
cooking for someone, it's probably special. I don't know.

Speaker 4 (43:58):
It's just f that's just how it functions.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
It feels like it's not the deal break I feel
like it any more.

Speaker 4 (44:03):
Info she hasn't had the chance to do any of
that for me because of our situation, and she said
that she's afraid that I'll choose my friend over her
because of this. She said she feels like my friend
is too close and she doesn't like it, and that
she knows because she's a woman, what other women get
up to, and that I'm just ignoring her concerns. I
just don't know what to do anymore because I want

(44:23):
her here with me, but she seems very unhappy. I
don't want her to going back to her city because
there's no one there for her. She has a lot
of friends who've after her over and I just want
her here with me, and I want us to have
a life, but she seems very unhappy. I'm not really
sure what to do to resolve this. There's an edit
to add. My fiance said that she feels like I
tricked her into this because I didn't discuss this with her.

(44:46):
She said that she knew that we would be staying
for a few days, but not this long. She said
that she now thinks that I discussed this with my
female friend before moving down here and did not tell
her how long we would be staying, and therefore took
away her choices. She said that if she had ever
known it was going to be this long, she would
never have agreed to come back with me. I didn't
plan this behind her back. It just sort of happened.

(45:08):
But that's what she thinks, and I can't change her mind.
Another edit to add I should have clarified that my
friend has made no attempt to get to know my
girlfriend at all. We usually go into her room to
talk about our day. My girlfriend is never invited.

Speaker 7 (45:22):
I have a theory room big is it the biggest
room in the whole apartment?

Speaker 4 (45:27):
Why are we in your room? What's in your room?
Why are we having private time in her room?

Speaker 2 (45:32):
Though?

Speaker 7 (45:33):
Sometimes I'm going to Sam's rooman talk to him because
it's very big and spacious, But I don't invite people
to my room to have conversations because it's very small. Yeah, yep,
unless it's a group more than three. Well, could maybe
something have happened? What OP doesn't know about.

Speaker 4 (45:45):
That's my theory is that at some point early in
the meeting, like his fiance did some crazy cringe stuff,
being like, I know what you're doing. Don't try to
be my friend. I know you're just trying to take
my man and yeah, And if someone said that to me, I'd.

Speaker 5 (46:00):
Be like, Okay, well, we're not going to.

Speaker 4 (46:01):
Talk about our days anymore. Yeah, I guess I'll just
leave you alone and I'll talk to your fiance, who
I have known much, much, much much longer than you.
And by the way, I don't know if you guys
remember this. I am the one preventing you from being
homeless right now, right I'm doing you a gigantic favor.

Speaker 6 (46:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (46:21):
I haven't said anything to her about this because I
don't want us getting punted out. Also, I'm aware that
they don't know each other, and I just don't want
to ruffle any feathers right now, so to speak. Also,
I should have clarified that I have met a few
of her friends and they don't seem to be good people.
Some of them cannot help her because they are subsidized housing.
She is saying that she has a few friends that

(46:43):
are willing to help her, and her sister and brother
in law who live in another city are willing to
help her. I don't want her to leave because I'm
worried that I won't be able to help her if
she needs me. I can admit that I have been
neglecting her. I usually go right into my friend's room
when I get back from work. Then I spend about
an hour doing work stuff on the computer and go
to sleep. My girlfriend said she understands that I'm working

(47:04):
a lot, but that it's no excuse to neglect our relationship.
She has said that maybe she's not ready for a relationship,
but I'm reluctant to let her go. She has also
said that she's thought, maybe I'm not at a point
where I should be having a relationship right now. She
wants out.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
Dude.

Speaker 4 (47:19):
Yeah, she said that she doesn't feel like I have
time for one. She said that it would be better
for us to just split now since it's only been
six months, rather than months or years down the road.
She has tried explaining to me that sometimes things just
don't work out, but as I said, I'm reluctant to
let her go. Comment one, You should let her go
if she wants to go. She's unhappy. She's sitting in

(47:42):
an apartment with your friend who ignores her. You work
the whole day and the little free time goes to
your friend. You say yourself that you want to stay
there for several paychecks, so it's a few months. You
rushed into this relationship as if you are a teenager.
You didn't even know this woman and live with her.
Was this a savior thing? But you just hurt her
right now, even if it is her issue. The situation

(48:03):
makes her crazy and you can't change the situation. You
don't want to let her go for selfish reasons, but
actually you also don't spend time with her just let
her go. You can still stay in contact if you
have a steady life again, you can ask her and
try again.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
But this no.

Speaker 4 (48:20):
And if you also don't see how it feels that
your friend totally ignores her, never ask her for the
favor just you even such small things. And as soon
as you come home, you go to your friend and
you say that you pay for staying there, So why
pay with favors for you to stay and lose the
little time you have? You also wrote your daily plan

(48:40):
and there was no time for your girlfriend, Opie says.
I'm planning on getting a place for the both of us,
but as I said, I want to save up a
few paychecks. I was planning on staying in the car
with her after these couple of weeks. But I'm honestly
thinking about asking my friend to stay a little longer.

Speaker 5 (48:53):
Yeah, just not compute like dah nah.

Speaker 4 (48:58):
I understand how it may they seem messed up that
my friend ignores her, but I want us to have
a place to stay right now. She doesn't want to
stay in that place right now though. It's just the
fact that this guy's like, yeah, my girlfriends saying she's
completely miserable here and we can't stay any longer, so
I'm considering asking to stay longer. I know she'll be miserable,
but we're not anywhere else to go. Ah, brother, you

(49:21):
lived in the car for four months, what's another two weeks?

Speaker 3 (49:24):
Yeah, dude, I don't get Oh, Pete, I don't get
all of the people in this story.

Speaker 5 (49:30):
I think I don't get it. I don't get it.

Speaker 4 (49:33):
I don't get it.

Speaker 5 (49:34):
I don't understand.

Speaker 4 (49:36):
Stare at the sun for twenty five seconds. I just
don't want to not be able to help her if
something goes wrong because she is disabled. She has suggested
it maybe living apart for a while and then seeing
if things are more stable in a few months, But
I need her here without her. This whole thing collapses
because I will not be able to afford an apartment
without her. She suggested maybe living apart for a while

(49:57):
and then seeing if things are more stable in a
few months. But I need her here without her. This
whole thing collapses because I will not be able to
afford an apartment without her.

Speaker 3 (50:07):
Is this the friend or the field? Just the fiance
and the fiance is not staying with the friend?

Speaker 5 (50:12):
And ope right DG. Yes, I'm sire all staying together. Oh, oh,
my point.

Speaker 4 (50:17):
Is he's just saying that she's a dude. She's half
the rent. You just married her because she's half the rent, Wow,
says exposed. Oh my god. She has said that maybe
I should just stay here with my friend and be
roommates with her, But according to my friend, that can't happen.
My girlfriend said she doesn't even understand what I brought

(50:39):
her here for, and that she feels like she sticks
out like a sore thumb. She has even said that
she wonders if her being gone would change my friend
being okay with me being roommates with her. I just
worry about what would happen to her if I let
her go. Reply, you are just digging a deeper hole
for yourself with your edits. In what world is it
okay for you to go into your friend's bedroom to
talk about your day and ignore your fiance. If you're talking,

(51:01):
you should be in the living area. Totally understand where
your fiance is coming from. Ope, he said, my friend
just always hangs out in her room. I didn't think
anything of it because we leave the door open. Come
it to your ex. Girlfriend just responded, It's funny how
she has a different point of view. I'm glad she
left you. You and your girlfriend suck. Have fun with
your other girlfriend.

Speaker 5 (51:20):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 7 (51:21):
Oh when we have the update from the girlfriend, Oh
my gosh.

Speaker 5 (51:25):
I love it when this happens. We both sides and
we had one story update.

Speaker 4 (51:31):
From user throwaway one to three four five seventy nine.
Woo the ex girlfriend. Hi, I'm providing this update because
I'm almost sure this is about me and my ex.
The details are too fitting. Anyway, Yeah, I suggested we
move down to his city. I said we could start
looking for a place immediately. It's true that I agreed
that we would live in the car and get a
gym membership. He waited until we got down there to

(51:53):
tell me we would be staying with a female friend
of his for a few days. I was fine with that.
A few days turned into three weeks. He completely neglected me,
and our relationships suffer. I get that he's adjusting to
a new job, but that's no excuse. Every time his
friend needed something, he would jump right up. He was
so busy kissing her butt that he didn't have time
for me. M He expected me to clean her house.

(52:16):
I refuse to be a made especially when I wasn't
even given a choice in being there. I presented the
idea of us living apart for a while until he
got more established, and he would not hear it. He
would follow me outside and prevent me from calling anyone,
and even snatched my phone out my hands every time
I tried throwman jail boy, Roman jail. This guy is

(52:36):
going a stinky jail.

Speaker 5 (52:37):
Oh my gosh, that's terrible.

Speaker 4 (52:40):
So, like any of that behavior at any point should
be an immediate.

Speaker 5 (52:45):
The it's done, Like, yeah, I'm done. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (52:49):
He wouldn't even sleep unless I was with him because
he was afraid of me sneaking off. As he put it,
he kept saying he needed me there because he loves
me and needed me to get a new place. It
was obviously after a while that he just wanted me
there because he wouldn't be able to get a place
without me.

Speaker 3 (53:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (53:04):
Sure, he's probably just going to stay with her, But
I don't care anymore, it's not my concern. It became
clear to me that he didn't care what I wanted.
He wanted to do whatever he wanted and just expected
me to deal with it. He would accuse me of
being rude to him and his friend. Then, despite the
fact that she completely ignored me, even when I was
standing right next to him, she would act like I
wasn't there and only talk to him. He made no

(53:26):
attempt to fix this. It also became clear to me
that she expected him to act like a dad to
her son and act like a partner to her. He
couldn't understand why I seemed jealous, even though the minute
we arrived he stopped touching me and started ignoring me.
This is just silver lining. You didn't marry this absolute dufius. Yeah,
good job. I think he didn't give that far. Universe

(53:49):
really helped you out here. He started doing her favors
and spending all his free time with her. Then, when
I brought it up, he said I was making baseless accusations.
He tried to to excuse them closing her bedroom door
by saying her son closed it. Be that as it may,
he should have immediately opened it. Maybe just don't have
conversations with another woman in her bedroom. Why you're with

(54:13):
your fiance.

Speaker 5 (54:14):
Yeah, there's a communal space for a reason. Does a
living room? Does a kitchen?

Speaker 7 (54:18):
Like I said, it is the biggest place in the
whole apartment, because that only justifies it because it's the
living room smaller than the bedroom.

Speaker 4 (54:25):
I want to be hanging out in the living room.

Speaker 5 (54:26):
Yeah, what else it was he doing in her room?

Speaker 4 (54:28):
What this happened twice? Yet he couldn't understand why I
did not trust him. I waited until he calmed down
by pretending everything was cool. Then when everyone went to sleep,
I took his fob, got my stuff out of the car,
and ordered an uber Yes, queen. I went to a
hotel and then got a bus ticket the next day. Yes, queen. Period,
I'm staying with a friend in my hometown until I
find a new place. Of course, he blew up my phone,

(54:49):
so I just blocked him, but not before telling him
it was over. He seems like a player anyway. Most
of his friends are women, and he was also friends
with his ex, who he talked about constantly. Red flag,
red flag, red flag. Ay. Yeah, he never shut up
about his female friends, a fear that he told me
that he considered dating in the past. I just wasn't

(55:11):
happy and he refused to let me break up with him.
He was showing a lot of red flags, and I
was done. I'm refusing to let you break up with
him is like the sun in terms of how intense
the red flag is. I've learned my lesson about moving
in with someone I hardly know. I'm just glad to
be away from him in his drama that he is
always accusing me of creating. Thank you for reading comments

(55:31):
here comment number one. It's always nice to hear the
opposite side to the stories that are posted here. Oh,
he says, I know I already replied to you, but
I wanted to add that I'm glad I saw it
because I see how he spun it in his favor
to make me look entitled. I honestly think he only
brought me there to be a live in housekeeper and babysitter.
He deceived me. He told me that we were going

(55:52):
to have a house ready, and then the minute we
got into town, he was like, we're gonna be staying
with my friend for a few days, and it became
three weeks. He stopped being as affectionate and we stopped
having spicy sleep. It happened once in three weeks, when
normally it was a few days a week, and even
in a car. Living in the car can we not
also forget this couple has been without home for four months,

(56:13):
living in first Op's car.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
I thought he was just talking about an X of his,
like someone that he like kind of knew before. And
he's like, yeah, like I'm gonna go see my friend. Yeah,
we like stopped sleeping together.

Speaker 5 (56:25):
Is that right? Did I hear that right?

Speaker 4 (56:26):
No? This is from the original, op Yeah, so this
is from her perspective. The original was the man what
he was talking about, Okay, in a car crazy? Living
in a car for four months is nuts. We're doing
in a car is wild?

Speaker 2 (56:43):
Well?

Speaker 4 (56:43):
Yeah, and then that consistently for four months is untenable. Yeah,
did you think that there was gonna be a place
ready when you moved to this new city after living
in a car for four months? Of course?

Speaker 3 (56:54):
Why? Like did want more info about that, about why
they were moving in a car?

Speaker 4 (56:59):
He like, what he did have a job, and she
says she's on disability and it's like, how are you
guys going to move into a place in the new city.

Speaker 5 (57:05):
Yeah, I'm just.

Speaker 4 (57:05):
Glad you had this learning experience, Opie. Yeah, but I
feel like you did learn a lot.

Speaker 5 (57:09):
Yeah, honestly, it's a good lesson to learn.

Speaker 7 (57:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (57:11):
Also twice they were in her room with the door shut.
I see he lied about that. He claims your son
shut it, but even if he did, he should have
immediately opened it. He blamed me, saying I should have
opened it if I had a problem with it. I
don't know her, so I wasn't going to do that.
He took advantage of that and spun it in his favor.
He knew exactly what he was doing. It doesn't matter, though,
because I'm done. Reply says, no need to worry about that.

(57:32):
Even in his own version of the story, he came
off terribly in Lots of people called him out for it.
The truth makes him sound even worse. Glad you got
out of there, Opie says, oh, oh, thank you. I
am too. He was throwing up so many red flags, girl,
he was made out of red flags. I don't know
how he thought any of that was okay. I think
he just wanted to do what he wanted and expected
me to go along with it. He must have thought

(57:52):
I had zero self respect to put up with that.
I'm sorry, but I don't care what they were doing.
How was it okay for them to have the door closed.
I don't care that her son supposedly closed it. He
should have opened it immediately. He can try to justify
it all he wants. He shouldn't have been in there.
Why are we so focused on him being in this room, bro,
We're focused on the wrong things.

Speaker 5 (58:12):
Sorry, I agree. Just leave.

Speaker 4 (58:14):
He can try to justify all he wants. He shouldn't
have been in her room to begin with. I love
how he lied and said that they left the door open.

Speaker 2 (58:22):
That's the end of that story.

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