My brother DITCHED his own wedding…and ruined his life! | Reddit Stories

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
My brother ditched his own wedding and ruined his life.
So my brother thirty eight has always been an a hole,
but this is next level even for him. He's a
drinker that has long stretches a sobriety before falling off
the wagon pretty hard. He has been drinking again recently,
but during his stagno a couple of weeks back, he
was completely well behaved. He was drinking most of the day,

(00:23):
was perfectly pleasant and responsible to everybody, and went to
bed with no issues. By the way, this comes from
the Mighty Hucks on the Okay storytime severed it Now.
On top of all of that, he's never been completely trustworthy,
always doing the minimum out of work he can to
get by, and often hooks up with the kind of
women that are lonely and willing to do everything for him.
For the last several years he's been with a very

(00:45):
kind lady who still fits that description. This girl can
do it all, painting, decorating, plumbing, fixing cars, anything she
sets her mind to, Absolutely the opposite of my brother.
She asked him to get married, and after he said yes,
she went to work, putting months of time and effort
into planning and buying everything to make it perfect, including

(01:05):
his own suit, shoes, et cetera. And she was working
overtime to make this happen. The night before the wedding,
she was up late decorating the venue, whilst he was
at the pub having a few beers with the father
of the bride and his best man. Around twelve am,
those guys decided enough was enough and it was time
for bed. My brother wanted to head into town, and
the guys were telling him not to be so stupid

(01:26):
and escorted him to his hotel room. Cut to around
eight am the next morning. My sister is doing the
bride's hair and makeup. My mother and Auntie are dressing
up the young bridesmaids, and everyone there is as happy
as you could imagine. Meanwhile, the father of the bride
and the best man are unable to contact my brother
and after gaining access to his room, realize he's not there.

(01:46):
And the bed was clearly.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
It's the hangover. It's the hangover.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
I don't think I've seen the hangover.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
Classic movie Whee The Hangover was Counts and Keeps Bradley Cooper.
I might have seen that they're partying before the wedding. Yeah,
or they're partying in Vegas. They need to get back
to the wedding and where they're from. And then they
supposedly they do a lot of drugs and then they
lose the groom and they need to find the groom.
I have to get to the wedding in time. Yeah,

(02:16):
is what this is.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
They start frantically trying to call and go out looking
services at twelve thirty pm. He finally answers at around
ten thirty, telling the best man to calm down, he's
coming back soon. Jim. It was a tiger or something
in There was a tiger there. There's music and laughter
in the background, and he's clearly at some kind of party.
He then hangs up and turns his phone off. An
hour later, there's still no sign, and the guys make

(02:39):
the decision to head to the Ladies hotel next door
and tell them.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
What's ah not not bro not bro Cone. You gotta
find them on the midom fire before you tell the woman.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
I'm sure you can imagine. The scene is such a
happy morning turns to one of complete devastations. That's so sad,
with the father and mother of the bride balling into
each other's arms, the bride hysterical being consoled by my
sister and bridesmaids, my mother Auntie, and the best man
watching all of this and feeling heartbroken and also complete embarrassing.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Because they were like partying with him ye before messed up.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
It got to twelve fifteen, with the bride holding out
hope for the final few seconds before realizing it was
over and they had to cancel. And that was that.
The next time my brother was seen was randomly by
a wedding reception guest that turned up at the wrong
hotel about three point thirty pm.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
He was drinking in.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
A bar over the road on his own, and when
asked what the heck he was doing, just played it
off with, Eh, what all the fuss about, No big deal,
we can do it anytime.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
He has a point, they can't do it. Anytime you
do it, ain't die. Come on, we'll do it next week.
We got the whole day at the venue.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
The guest left him to it, and we all met
at the perception this.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Guest was imagine.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
It's like, hey, aren't you you bot to get us
me at the wedding and he's like, hill, don't, don't
rush me.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
Hey, there's a lot of pressure to put on.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
The guest left him to it, and we all met
at the perception the bride I decided to go ahead
as a thank you to those who'd made the effort
to travel to be there, take days off, et cetera.
That I'm sure you can imagine how it all went down,
with people randomly breaking into tears or getting angry throughout the.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Night, that's so unfortunate. Yeah, having to do that, that's.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
So embarrassed, so embarrassing to be like, uh, hey, guys,
no wedding, but we're gonna have a party.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
You guys like cake.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
You guys like cake. We're gonna all get our credit cards.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
Out, anya the cake and cry together.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Now it's the next morning and the bride and her
family travel home. My brother's outside the house complaining about
being cold and to be let in. However, when he
sees the faces of the bride, her father, and her brothers,
he swiftly turns on the waterworks and starts apologizing to
them all about how he didn't mean it.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
What does that even mean? You don't mean it?

Speaker 1 (04:46):
He basically got chased out up the street. His bags
were packed and thrown out onto the lawn. His designer
clothes and shoes that she had paid for over the
years were sold on Facebook marketplace that afternoon. He has
no phone as he lost it at some point. His
Maanke account is empty as he spent everything on that
one drinking session, and he has nowhere to go. None
of us would take him in, and my mother is

(05:08):
going to stay with her for a few weeks to
take care of everything. Stay with oh the bride, Yeah,
I think so, Okay, So the groom's mom is going
to spend time with you, Yes, with her, because she's like,
sorry about my son. He's the worst. Wow, that's the story,
and now we're living with the aftermath. The news is
all over Facebook and everyone is feeling heartbroken and humiliated.

(05:30):
My mother has always been a wonderful, kind hearted lady,
but has never been able to have a happy life
since she left my abusive father and his I don't know,
I don't know what that's. Yeah, she's been dealing with
my brother's issues ever since. I think she thought she'd
finally got him over the finish line with this wedding,
and now that hope has turned to dust.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
Put in a frame of it seems like he has
like so crappy for the wife. Yeah, like such a
terrible situation for a family, absolutely awful. And also like
it seems like he needs help and support. Yeah, and
he's like struggling, which doesn't.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
Necessarily mean Yeah, it doesn't necessarily mean that he has
to get that from the fiance or ex fiance now
for sure, but yeah, hopefully he can get that because
it does seem like it's an ongoing problem. Yeah, needs
hop My thoughts are with her and his lovely would
be wife, But I have a deep level of anxiety
and dread over what happens now with my brother. He
doesn't deserve to be allowed back into her life, and

(06:26):
obviously her family utterly despises him at this point, along
with most of my family, his friends, and best man.
I hear a neighbor has put him up in a
hotel outside of town for a few days, always a
bleeding heart for him to turn to to clear his head. However,
with no family phone home, it's in her name, car,
it's in her name or money. I just can't see

(06:46):
where he goes from here, but I know where you
can go from here. Joining us live every week to
have three PMPSD just to have a profile. I got it, actually,
and there is a little bit more SEP story.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
OP. He is very resentful, I think so other and
like holds no empathy for him.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
Well, I think this is behavior that OPI has.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Seen for I could understand that, which is.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah, I think it's like hard like for us. We
can see, you know, there's definitely he's got his own things.
The brother has his own things going on, and it's trying,
probably battling addiction and stuff. But I think when you're
close to that and you've been on the receiving end
of bad behavior, I think it's hard to.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
Yeah, I get that it makes so much sense to
like build resentment. Yeah, and also like it doesn't seem
like he's done anything vidictive or malicious. He's one hundred
percent hurt people very much, but at the same time
it seems just like just major struggling. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
But I also think that with addiction you can only
give so much advice and like say, hey, I think
you should go, you know, go to rehab or stuff,
but they have to make that step too, which it
doesn't seem like he's at that point unfortunately. Yeah, And
garden pieces, Happy belated Halloween and Dwally.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
Well, actually, I don't know. We don't know how the
conversations if there's just solely been blame, like you do
this and this and this, or coming from a point
of like you're obviously struggling. What do you need support? Like,
what do you need? What's going on? Yeah, you could
talk to us and be transparent. We don't Again, I
don't know if those conversations have happened. Maybe that happened

(08:16):
a long time ago and there's over them. I don't know, Petty.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Patty says, at a certain point, you have to walk
away from these types of family members. You can't help
someone who clearly doesn't want it yet. It's part of
why I'm no contact with my mother, which I do.
I think agree with that. I think putting yourself in
like harm's way in terms of emotionally when people are
constantly disappointing you and you're trying to help them, which
we don't know. Again, we don't know what their relationship

(08:40):
here is. But yeah, yeah, I think he has to
make part of that step too.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
Sure. Yeah, I have a friend whose mom has addiction issues,
and hearing my friend's perspective. Growing up with that is
like so heartbreaking, and so I could understand, like to
be on the receiving end of being in some form
of relationship with someone who abuses substances, how traumatizing it

(09:04):
is for them. And then obviously the person who does
have the substance addiction issues is probably traumatizing their own
right and is seeking solace from the substance.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
Absolutely, at almost forty, the days of him using his
boyish good looks and charmed to worm his way back
in or elsewhere are pretty much done, and the big
fears him that he goes down the same path hiss
Dad did. The bride my mother's sister and now possibly
her mother in his place, along with the kids, are
about to fly out on the honeymoon for ten days,
which I couldn't be happier about. At least they're using

(09:36):
that honeymoon.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
Yeah, you deserve it.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
That will really help him. My brother, however, is now
on his own, penniless, alone with his thoughts until he
has to check out on Monday morning. I have an
overwhelming sense of anxiety and despair. Cliffs brother is a
wiener And that is the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
What was that last line. Brother is a wiener who
said that.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
I think op Opie was like Cliff's note.

Speaker 2 (09:58):
Oh short version. Our friends tried to ruin our wedding,
but they just ended up ruining their own. I thirty
eight male, have been married to Mike, thirty five year
old male for three years, together for twelve years. Wow,
long relationship. We are very quiet, nerdy, nature loving guys,
not into flashy displays or drama at all. It was
a tail end of the pandemic and since the borders

(10:20):
were partially open, excuse me, we decided to road trip
to GiB Gibraltar. Gibraltar, so they decided a road trip
to Gibraltar and a lopem. I love a good eloping.
The pandemic was a great excuse not to invite anyone
to our wedding and just do what we wanted. And
by the way, this comes from you dash Uka forty
on the r okay storytime subreddit. So when we told

(10:41):
our lesbian friends d forty five year old female and
Ann sixty year old female a fun age age gap
slig slight big slite, what we were doing, they decided
on the spot that we were going to have a
double wedding and immediately started taking over, suggesting a bunch
of trashy, expensive things we didn't want. We initially decided
that we'd get a rental car together and split it

(11:03):
four ways, with Mike and D splitting the driving. A
month before the wedding, D and A decided to be
cheaper to take the train. Well, six trains actually across
three countries. That's kind of fun, but I immediately said no.
It turned out turned out D didn't even have her
driver's license. I've been driving illegally free. D Mike offered
to do all the driving if they split the rental

(11:25):
car with us. They declined because it was too expensive
and took the train instead. Obviously, it went terribly for them.
Trains were canceled, tickets were lost, and they missed out
on an entire night in Gibraltar because they were stuck
at a random train station in the Spanish countryside. Mike
and I had a wonderful road trip and spent a
magical night in an airbnb in Cartagena on the way.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Just think.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
Their main tickets cost more than half of the rental car.
We initially agreed to get a really fancy airbnb in
Gibraltar with a hot tub and all that stuff, split
four ways we could get something really nice. Well, and
decided she want at a real hotel and pulled out
of the air MenB plan. After his book that's pretty rude.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah, that's messed up. You can't do it.

Speaker 2 (12:07):
After his books, I found a gorgeous little one bedroom
place for us with a hot tub and a view
of the c DN. Ann forgot to book a real
hotel and ended up in a freaking off well place
by the port, like a place for merchant sailors to
crash while they're in port. It was on a busy
roundabout opposite Burger King, so meant there was no bath,
no balcony, and it was basic a f It was

(12:30):
more expensive than our lovely place. Ooh, that sucks.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
That sucks.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
They got no sleep because of the drunk sailors and
traffic noise. They didn't even get any towels provided. The
night before the wedding we met for dinner. They'd barely
been in Gibraltar for two hours, whereas we've been relaxed
since the day before with a little bath. At dinner,
things were tens but d was really trying at some point,
she signaled to the restaurant host, and the lady came
over with a super fancy VIP bucket with champagne on ice.

(12:57):
She popped the cork and gave it to d who
had a saying, just like the one I gave you
in New York. Baby. Oh, it was clearly supposed to
be the champagne. Oh baby, remember that other cork I
gave you?

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, but I don't know.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
It was clearly supposed to be a romantic moment. And
refuse the cork.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
Yeah, I think the cork.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
Why she refused the cork, I don't know. The host
poured two glasses of the champagne and gave the glasses
to D n N and took a sip and immediately
spat it out, announcing loudly it's corked. What does that mean?
I don't know. It's all like it went bad.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
Yeah, maybe the cork fill in like it got stuck.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
Okay. We all tried the champagne and told her it
was delicious. Mike and I don't really drink, but we
know what champagne taste like, and insisted the champagne was corked.
Andy announced they weren't paying for it. It's corked.

Speaker 1 (13:46):
I don't I don't drink alcohol, so I need to
look this up. The term corked means that the wine
has been tainted by a chemical compound called two four
six trichloransol I do not want that is developed in
the cork and transferred into the wine. This can only
happen with wine that a seals with the natural quirk,
not a synthetic one.

Speaker 2 (14:03):
The more you know, the more you know. She threatened
to call the police, like the manager of the host
in so D sheepestly paid for it. Yeah, So she
was like, it's COURTD. I don't want to pay for it.
The host was like, you better, we're gonna call the
police on you. So D paid for it and soaked
the rest of the night. I was so embarrassed, and
her whole evening was spoiled. Wow, nothing's going well by

(14:26):
this eloping.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
How are you gonna not pay for seven hundred and
fifty dollars? Why did you even pay for seven hundred
fifty dollars?

Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah, and soaked the rest of the night. I was
so embarrassed, and our whole evening was spoiled. When we
got back to our Airbnb to take a bubble bath
and eat java cakes.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
I've never had a java cake.

Speaker 2 (14:44):
I don't know if I've had it. I told the
Mike there was no way I was going to allow
them to ruin another minute of our trip. But if
they wanted to ruin theirs, that wasn't my problem.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
Damn.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
The actual weddings went off okay, apart from the fact
that they were still drunk from the night before.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
M why they were drunking their wedding?

Speaker 2 (15:01):
But oh, are you get so drunk? Because they were
just like, f this I need to get Yeah, they
were like, this.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
Is seven hundred fifty dollars fifty pounds wines champagne. We
got to drink it.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
We're paid. Yeah, honestly, you better drink that. So the
registry office was nice, and I married the man of
my dream major Sligh. Afterwards we brought we bought them
brunch to soak up the booth and faithfully walk them
around the park taking lovely photos of them. Do you
had her finger over the lens of every picture she
took of us?

Speaker 1 (15:31):
No, she was, Oh, she was going like this, yeah,
pulling a little pulling a little figure on the like
on their wedding. Come on, but also, why were you
only taking pictures only? I don't know if that's true.
I was about to say it was they were just
with friends.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
Yeah, it was just the four of them.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
So when we were done, they suggested we all go
to the and why didn't you look at the Yeah?
I was pretty important.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
Can you get some more grubby little thumbs all.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
Thumber out of there? So when we were done, they
suggested we all go to the pub and get wasted. Wasted,
white girl wasted. As if they said.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
What the heck? Okay, now I feel like you're not
that fun?

Speaker 2 (16:17):
Are you fun or not? We dropped them off at
the pub and win our separate ways. Well, they're just
like Opie and their husband. They just got yeah, just
like like these guys be like this, this beer is corked.
It's corked, coolidge. But I was honest and just told
them I want to be alone with my husband. Quite

(16:38):
reasonable them. They couldn't really argue with that. The wedding dinner, Mike,
d and I all had fairly casual preferences for a
restaurant for the wedding dinner, but An insisted on a
fine dining fish restaurant that didn't even serve dessert. How
are you gonna get your java cakes?

Speaker 1 (16:52):
Are you gonna get your freaking java cakes?

Speaker 2 (16:54):
Outright refused, I don't eat fish at all. Quite reasonable
to not want to go there on your wedding if
you don't like fish. Yeah, and and was insisting on
the fish restaurant, so we decided not to meet up.
Fair and also sure convinced. Tried to convince us to
chip in two hundred pounds for a custom wedding cake
to get delivered to the restaurant, but we said hell no, Yeah,

(17:15):
if you're getting eloped like, who are you trying to impress?

Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, Like the point of an elopement is for it
to be cheap.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
Yeah. But also like if you want to have a
you know, expensive elopement, you want to put money into it,
go for it. But like op and their husband don't
want to do this. Spend a lot of money on
things that don't seem to matter at all.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, they're like, we want to spend money on a
nice airbnb and not on like champagne. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah, they asked us, you know, to spend money on
that custom wedding cake and we were like, hell no,
Mike and I went to the best steakhouse in Gibraltar.
I had at one point to Kilo steak that sounds
so good, an amazing cheesecake for dessert. They got the dessert.
We had a lovely time and the wait staff went
out if the other way to spoil us. Around eight
p the message just where are you? And we ignored

(18:02):
the messaged message as it turned out, and forgot to
make reservations and the fish restaurant was fully booked, but
they couldn't leave and go somewhere else because they had
to wait for the cake to be delivered. Oh just
everything is going, Oh my god, what are they doing?

Speaker 1 (18:17):
It was booked, so they said it was. The place
was fully booked, Yeah, but they couldn't make reservations.

Speaker 2 (18:22):
No, so yeah, they were going to go to this
fish restaurant. It was fully booked, but they couldn't go
to somewhere else because the two hundred pound cake was
getting delivered.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
You didn't check to see if it was booked before
you delivered a cake.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
There, what on your wedding. It's like, there's not really
a lot of room for things to go wrong. They
ended up taking the cake back to their crappy hotel,
eating it with their credit cards because they didn't even
have cutlery and plates in the room.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
You okay, I'm sorry. You chose not your hands, which
presumably are clean and you can clean.

Speaker 2 (18:56):
You chose to eat it with credit cards. Oh they're
so dirt, so dark. So I don't like these people.
You guys suck the AIRBB was one thing.

Speaker 1 (19:08):
But your credit card credit cards. You're disgusting, dude.

Speaker 2 (19:12):
And it's like also almost a wedding thing to like
get the cake with your fingers, like put it on
your partners. It could have been it could have been Central,
it could have been Usual, and then you put your
dirty little credit card, dirty little credit cards. Just use
her hands. Watch those geez guys. This is a sad visual.
This is Yeah. They got hammer that night on supermarket vodka.

(19:36):
Mike and I had the perfect email. God, I loved it.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
He's just like my time is great.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah, they're like us fantastic. I took another bubble wrath
hands quite romantic. Central. We watched a movie. It was
beautiful everywhere. I was with the love of my life
and they were yelling over champagne. They're like galloming for
a cake with credit I can see like a movie

(20:03):
of this, and it's like romantic music of like them,
and then just cut some of them, like yelling like
trying to eat with a credit card, and like yelling
about the court champagne. I'm like, the restaurant's closed. I
want my fish.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
But what a story they'll have to tell.

Speaker 2 (20:18):
I don't think they're gonna be happy with this. Mike
and I had the perfect evening. We got a taxi home,
smoked Devil's let us, smoked smoke Ganja on our balcony,
watched the stars and kissed for hours. If you want
to watch the stars and kiss us for hours, you
can go on live on YouTube every weekday at three
pm PST. Just tap our profile. Okay, my question is,

(20:41):
what's the intense of the stories? Are they just like
talking crap and then like literally just brag, keep bragging
about her own or their own eloping because it feels like.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
It didn't really hurt you that much.

Speaker 2 (20:54):
I don't think any of this it's hurting.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
I think nothing just really affected you that much.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
I don't even think they're mad. I think they're just
like idiots.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
I don't have any other thoughts on this, just I
guess like, good for you.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
We're done discussed. The next day, Mike and I set
out for a day of hiking in the UNSCO World
Heritage Site National Park. It was the best day ever.
Mike got robbed and bitten by a monkey, which was
effing hilarious. We ate a full English breakfast in the
Sky restaurant and explored Saint Michael's Cave. Unforgettable memories were made,
d and fought, decided it was Gibraltar's fault and spontaneously

(21:30):
excuse me, decided to leave. They booked a beach resort
up the coast somewhere in Spain, and headed on foot
to the train station. They were like, this place suck, like.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
Something about gibraltars cursed.

Speaker 2 (21:40):
We need to get out of here. There's monkeys and
bad champagne. We're leaving.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
They stole my they stole my husband's.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
No forts here either, only credit cards, credit cards. The
trains were all messed up. They got stranded somewhere in
Spain with all their luggage.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
This is so sad, what a just crap series of
unfortunate events. Honest call Lemony snicket because these people are
going through something.

Speaker 2 (22:04):
They really are, So it took them fourteen hours to
get to the resorts. They arrived at eleven pm and
were checked out the next morning. Mike and I spent
a few more nights enjoying our honeymoon and the road
trip home. We stayed in the same little place in
Cartonhena on the way back, and the host threw us
a little surprise party. It was magical. Dan Ann got
stranded again on the way home, lost half of their

(22:27):
luggage and caught COVID.

Speaker 1 (22:28):
Oh my god, God, this isn't even honestly, at this point,
this isn't even dan Anne's fault.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
This is like, yeah, this is the universe. This is universe.
It's like, I hate you guys, honestly.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
I honestly feel like maybe they're there. Champagne was corked.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
I feel like maybe it was, But it's gotten so
bad that potentially the stampagne was cork it might have
been corked. That's the end of the story.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
The point of that, well, someone said the point of
it was a geography lesson.

Speaker 3 (22:58):
I want to go no content with my child's dad,
cause he's in prison.

Speaker 4 (23:02):
Won't be that hard to not be in contact.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
I twenty six female.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
I have a six month old sun with my ex
thirty one male of one month. I know what you
may be thinking, and yes, you read it right. Before
my son, I was a hopeless romantic and I accepted
love in all the wrong places. When I broke up
with my ex and soon after found out I was pregnant,
I learned my lesson about having relationships and being too
trusting of people I barely know. I have been single
and focusing on taking care of my son ever since.

(23:27):
A little background on the history of my ex and I,
and by the way, this comes from user routine librarian
eight eighty three on the Okay Storytimes subreddit. He met
on social media last year and he texted me first
with a line that I've never heard from anyone. It
made me laugh, so I thought I'd give him a chance.
He said all the right things to me and lied
about so much. For example, he lied about having a

(23:47):
twin sister and she's the same age as me, and
I fell for it.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
What a weird lie.

Speaker 4 (23:52):
Maybe people find lying attractive.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
That was just a weird, compulsive lie.

Speaker 3 (23:55):
We ended up meeting in person and he told me
that he loved me after a week or so being together. Oh,
a major red flag that I ignored. And that was
the very night I conceived my son.

Speaker 4 (24:05):
Let's go I love you.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
That's a love baby, I love you to go to
that's how I love you. Baby.

Speaker 3 (24:11):
Shortly afterwards, I found out he was cheating on me
and he stole money from me. Then about a month later,
I found that I was pregnant and when I told him,
he was excited.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
At first.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
We kept a line of communication, but he made most
of my pregnancy stressful. He denied my child and told
people that I was pregnant.

Speaker 2 (24:27):
When we met. We only had spicy sleep once.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
We didn't, but if we did, the dummy doesn't realize
that it only takes one time to get pregnant and
that we were never in a relationship. In the same breath,
he was trying to cheat on his several girlfriends with me,
but I wasn't having it. I would also notify him
of appointments to check on the baby and he would
say he'll come and ended up being a no show.

Speaker 2 (24:48):
I tried to keep him updated on the baby and
he would say that I didn't.

Speaker 3 (24:51):
He had me involved in so much drama, and I
eventually found out he had two other women pregnant at
this same time as me. This guy's an overachieved suver
whoa very very strong swimmer, sharp shooter. He denies getting
one of those two pregnant, but I know he's lying.
It was just all too much. Eventually we went no contact,
and shortly after he went to jail. He stayed for

(25:13):
the better half of the pregnancy and for about the
first month of him being incarcerated. We got back in
contact with each other again, and he tried to make
me do favors for him that I wasn't comfortable doing
because it would start drama or I just wasn't obligated
to do any of these things.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
And this became a.

Speaker 3 (25:28):
Huge problem for him since I was not doing what
he wanted. It turned into an argument and he told
me not to contact him again. So I told him
he wouldn't hear from me again and blocked him. Imagine
having the kahonas to be in prison and being like,
don't contact.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
Me, you were done. Wow.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
For months, he had strangers texting me on his behalf
asking me to contact him because he felt remorseful. I
blocked those numbers as well, because I didn't want to
stress anymore during the rest of my pregnancy than I
already have. Long story short, We were in contact on
and off, and he eventually was released from jail. He
didn't attend the birth of the baby because I didn't
want him there, Thank God.

Speaker 4 (26:01):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (26:01):
I wanted to have a peaceful labor and delivery, which
you deserve. After my son's birth, he was asking to
see him, but I didn't want him anywhere near us.
My mom made me change my mind by telling me
that I should let him see the baby because I
don't want to give him the chance to say that.
I never let my son see him if he were
to ask in the future why he couldn't come around him.
To this day, he has not physically seen my son

(26:21):
since he was born and has only helped once with him. Financially,
he's only seen him via FaceTime, and after a month
of my son being born, he went back to jail
for violating his probation.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Ever since, we have been on and off with communication.

Speaker 3 (26:33):
He always tries to get back into relationship with me,
even when I have told him no several times, and
he knows why, but expects me to get over him
treating me like crap when I was pregnant. This guy
sounds like a great a scumbag. Don't get back together
with him. Probably keep your child away from him as well.
He flirts with me and calls me bay, even after
I would tell him to stop. We still fight from
time to time, and he always goes out of his
way to disrespect me. So now I don't answer when

(26:55):
he calls unless the baby is awake, and he says
things to me like when I call, you need to
and don't let anyone keep you away from me. These
are huge red like flags. Yeah, don't let him know
where you are, change a number, move, get out of
the area you're in. Yeah, you don't want this guy
mess around. He sounds like he's kind of going to
go off the deep end here. I don't want to
talk to him unless it's about our son. I've made

(27:16):
this clear to him several times, and he blatantly dismisses
it and gets angry because he can't get any control
over me. He doesn't respect me or my wishes, and
I don't want to deal with it any longer. But
I don't want to deny my son of his father.
I feel like he thinks he has some kind of
sense of ownership over me because I have his child
and it doesn't sit well with me at all. Would
I be the a hole if I stopped contacting him
because he makes me feel uncomfortable. You'll never make us

(27:37):
feel uncomfortable when you join us live on YouTube every
weekday at three PMPST, just tap on our profile.

Speaker 4 (27:42):
I understand your consideration for your kid, not wanting him
to be angry at you that you never saw that
they never got to sell their father. I think it's
safe that if they make you feel uncomfortable, you don't
owe them the right. Just stay in contact and you
can explain that to your kid when they get older.
They may hate you for a little bit, but I
think it's you have to protect you and your own first.

Speaker 3 (28:03):
The vibes I'm getting from this guy are definitely not
someone who would be safe to have around. Yeah, like
I think, literally for your safe, for the safety of
you and your son, it's probably best that he does
not ever find himself in a position where he could
have power or control over either of you. Thank all
of you that have been giving very helpful advice. I
really appreciate it. Also, any negative comments will be deleted

(28:26):
and you will be blocked. I know what I did
was not the best thing, but as I stated in
the beginning of this post, I learned my lesson. I
have an example this set for my son, and I
will never believe anything or trust anything another man tells
me unless I see some action behind it and he
matches it.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
I'm not dating and don't intend to.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
My main focus is on my healing and making sure
my baby is taken care of. Yeah, you don't need
to focus on dating. You just need to focus on
the healing and focus on raising your kid.

Speaker 4 (28:52):
It'll be a minute, but be patient with yourself.

Speaker 3 (28:54):
Yeah, because if we don't heal, we can't really be
there for others if we don't be there for ourselves.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
First, canceled my wedding after my ex cheated, but now
my sister's trying to steal my wedding. I was meant
to get married on the first of February, which was
my and my ex fiancees anniversary. We ended the engagement
shortly after the New year because he cheated on me.
That's so very sad, but at least it happened before
you got married.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
That's that's true.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
Thank god. The wedding was initially planned with just my
money but was very low key, and my parents asked
if they could put up some additional money to make
the whole thing a bit bigger. And by the way,
this comes from you dash deleted on the rs okay
storytime subreddit. So by the end, about sixty percent of
the wedding was paid for by me and forty percent
my parents contribution. My ex and I had agreed that

(29:39):
I would pay for the wedding while he covered the honeymoon.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Damn, you didn't even get to the honeymoon.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
Yeah. My ex left me to deal with canceling the
wedding as his money wasn't involved.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
That's so messed up.

Speaker 2 (29:50):
So he cheated on you. Yeah, and it was like,
deal with the wedding. Yeah, wow. And I turned to
my mother and sister for help because I didn't have
the mental or emotional capacity to call vendors and venues
and whatever else and cancel everything. My sister is engaged
and helped me with a lot of the wedding planning.
Next thing I know, my mother and sister are asking
me if I wouldn't mind my sister just taking my wedding.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
Okay, I understand, like optics here are not good. I
kind of get it.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
It seems quite easy. It seems to cancel everything and
lose it all on that money.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
Yeah, as long as they're like, hey, we'll pay for it. Yeah,
that I would think we're gonna take it, and you
still have to be crazy.

Speaker 2 (30:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:30):
But if it's just like hey, like I want to
pay for it, is it okay? If I take it,
wouldn't want to go to waste that way that you
don't you don't have to go through canceling.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
Did sister shoot with fiance? That was another story. If
you're if you're referencing that other story, yeah, oh that
was a wild one.

Speaker 1 (30:42):
That was a wild one.

Speaker 2 (30:43):
Every part of it, from the venue to the cake
and everything in between. The sole difference would be the
wedding dress. And even then she said, if she can't
buy off the rack, she might have to get mine
Taylor to fit her instead. I called off my engagement
less than three weeks ago. I am an e fing mess.
I reached out to my family to help me cancel
the wedding, and my sister is planning to take it
over and said okay, she asked you. Yeah, OPI seems

(31:05):
quite mad, but it seems like her sisters, her family's
trying to be like creative and find a way to
manage the situation.

Speaker 1 (31:12):
I honestly, I totally understand she's going through a lot
of emotions right now.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
Yes, but we will, we will recognize that. Yeah, my
sister has wrung round our family explaining that she's taking
over before she told me this. Okay, well that's.

Speaker 1 (31:26):
That's a little bit.

Speaker 2 (31:27):
Yeah. Yeah, you can't just be like assume that, you know, Op,
he's gonna be chill with this, and then just start
telling the family so they are all attending. Her fiance
has contacted his family and given them the date he
will be getting married. Okay, I understand why mad so
before checking like, hey, this is a Crown show, can
we help out? I think creatively if we do that,

(31:47):
like this would really help out. But they're just like
assuming and they're like telling everyone and like making plans
around it.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
That's not cool.

Speaker 2 (31:54):
I found out all of this today. She asked me
if I was okay with this, Like she hasn't already
arranged everything. I told her to go f herself. I
have until the twenty third to cancel things and get
the money back. Oh, you get money all back?

Speaker 1 (32:07):
Do you get all of the money back or you
get you probably lose the deposit.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
Yeah, there's a couple of things where I won't get
money back at the stage, but over two thirds of
it is still refundable. But is the sister going.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
To give you That's what I want to know. If
this is and he's paying you everything, then that's different.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
But yeah, the money will be refunded to the card
it was paid by, so both me and my parents
will get the correct amounts back. Everything is shut right now,
but it's the twenty first tomorrow. As I've not been
in contact with these companies and it's my name on
all the contracts, I have full power over this wedding.
My sister said she'd pay me back eventually, but knowing her,
I'll never see that money again. Okay, so that's I think.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
Well, I think what you can say is you can
have the wedding if you pay me.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Upfront or if you pay me by this date.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
Yes. Yeah yeah, but oh he needs to cancel, so
it's like she might not get this money.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
No, Like, are you gonna like, are you gonna agree
with me if we do this. Yeah, if you take
over the wedding, you will pay me by this date.

Speaker 1 (33:03):
Yeah, but I guess it's like, what if she doesn't
pay you by that date? Yeah, you can't cancel anything
for sure, So it's like I think that I think
you just have to say, like, okay, you have to
pay me by this or I'm just going to cancel
it because I can't be sure that you'll pay me.

Speaker 2 (33:15):
Yeah again, so eventually, but knowing her, I'll never see
that money again. So would I be the a hole
if I wrung round everything and canceled update.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
I think just have a conversation with her and say, hey,
that was like really inappropriate that you told everyone that
you were taking my wedding before.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
You without consulting with me, like it possibly could have happened.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
Yeah, I might have considered it, but you just assume
so much. And if you really want this wedding, I'll
consider it, but you need to pay me upfront for sure.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
One hundred percent of conversation, Pixie.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
Loved Us says, I'm so petty I would cancel without
communicating because she took over the date without.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
Communicating Josephine, I'm just trying to you know. Update time,
I talked to my sister who would have thought and
explained how upset I was and how hurt this made
me feel, and she said that this was a good
thing and it would be therapeutic for me to see
good come from bad. I said, that is really not
what it's feeling like on my end, And to me,
it feels like I got cheated on a month before
my wedding, and my sister said she would cancel everything

(34:08):
for me and then decided that getting married in my
dress in the venue my ex and I picked out
together on my anniversary date. And this did not feel good. Yeah,
from her perspective, also totally could see like this was
the wedding. Oh my god, you're gonna have your wedding.
You're gonna marry this person, be with them for the
rest of your life. You get cheated on right before
the wedding, and then you have to watch your sister

(34:29):
have the wedding that would have been yours and get
reminded by to the detail of all the things you
could have had wedding dress too, and to the wedding dress. Yeah, yeah,
pretty messed up, I said, So this could have all
been avoided if the sister was like, just what about
this option and she's like, actually no, that would make
me feel like crap, and then it could have all
been avoided. I said. If she wanted to buy the

(34:49):
wedding off me, then I needed payment in full, okay,
like you said, for my sixty percent by the twenty third,
and I wanted to switch out our names on the contract.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Fair, very fair, very fair.

Speaker 2 (34:59):
She said she was hoping for closer to a payment
plan where she paid me back fifty percent of the
sixty percent I put down in monthly installments over the
next ten months.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
Well what about that last ten percent? Does no one
pay you back the last ten percent?

Speaker 2 (35:13):
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (35:14):
She's like, I'm going to pay you back fifty percent
of the sixty percent over ten months. Huh. So she's
just not going to pay back the ten percent the
last ten percent?

Speaker 2 (35:22):
Oh okay, So she's yeah, yeah, it's.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
Just an extra ten percent that she's not going to
pay back.

Speaker 2 (35:26):
Maybe I don't know. She wanted to pay me back
five percent per month for ten percent, and I still
want to get all of my money back. Yeah what Yeah,
I've made calls and canceled everything. Everything was paid for
by me and my parents' money, paid primarily for upgrades
to the things I'd already bought. The money will be
refunded who ever paid for it, so myself and my
parents will all get the correct money back. However, with some,

(35:46):
like the caterer, we've lost a deposit entirely. With some,
like the venue, they kept part of the money average
fifty percent, but some kept more and some kept less.
And with some like the baker who was a family
friend and had it started on the cake. Yet thank god,
they completely refunded it. We found out from the last
story how expensive cakes are.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
Pretty expensive when you're in Gibraltar.

Speaker 2 (36:07):
When you're in Gibraltar. I think the fact that I
was open that the wedding was off because he cheated
and made them feel bad for me and probably made
a few of them more lenient on refunds. Yeah, yeah,
like I got cheated on. I'm like, oh okay, yeah,
it's not like just randomly trying to change the day.
It's like, you know, like you got left over. Yeah,
didn't just bring it up for the sake of it.

(36:28):
But most of them asked if he if I'd wanted
to reschedule on the whole, I've gotten a little over
half back, which is not as much as I thought. Really, Yeah,
that sucks. You could have got more if your sister.

Speaker 1 (36:38):
Yeah, if you're willing to do the ten months plan.

Speaker 2 (36:42):
Yeah. The thing is that I put these cancelations through
on the twenty first, and if i'd done it on
the eighteenth, two full week's notice, i'd had gotten more.
But they waited until the twentieth to tell me the
dates are now oh yeah, because she thought she was.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
Supposed to be her sister was supposed to be canceling everything.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
Yeah, So she thought her family was going to cancel it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
And then they tell her, no, we didn't do that.
We're gonna take it from you.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
And she's like, so the dates are not open, the
plans are now there. If she wants to rebook everything
in her name, she was welcome to. She helped me
with an f ton of planning, knows the details better
than I do, and she could easily rebook the exact thing,
same thing, or will probably be doing. The vendors a
favor of considering how close we are to the big day,
and if you want to have a big day every day.
You can join us live on YouTube every weekday at

(37:23):
three pm PST.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
Just have our profiles happen.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
Also, there's another relevant update. But let's discuss. But we
it feels like we disciscussed, we discussed, We've we decided, discussions,
discussions over. Yeah, So some refunds will be instant, some
will take a bit of time. Longest is two weeks
and I'm no longer going on my honeymoon, so once
all the refunds have come through, I might book a
week away somewhere.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
It seems like in other stories when like I just
never seen someone do that. What blow your hair out?

Speaker 1 (37:49):
I do it all the time.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
Nice. It seems like in other stories where people like
like the wedding crashes or something, Yeah, that they just
go on their honeymoon.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
I think you got it. It's like you're you got
the trip plant. Well, in this case, she doesn't have
a trip plan, but most times they have trip plans,
and you're like, I don't want it to go to waste.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
Yeah, it's just kind of like so tainted. That's a curse.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
Oh, this is fun.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
I could have gone on this with my husband, but
I guess I'll go on it with my family. Were
going to cry in a hotel room in Spain now,
I guess, though I'm not sure what's happening with my sister,
mother family at large. In total, I would have gotten
more back from my sister than I would from the venues,
but it would be a year wait, I mean ten
months wait, yeah, on her repaying me versus a few

(38:32):
weeks on the venues. Currently drafting a Facebook post to
tell the family what happened without me looking like a
total b She's gonna post this.

Speaker 1 (38:38):
Where are we why? Okay, let's like, let's think about
it and then not, Let's not do it.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
Let's like make a different decision.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
Let's not do that.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
I have a the way people use Facebook, so like.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
I've been thinking about it and need it. I need
to let everyone know on Facebook. Yeah, oh wow, I
don't know what Chat's gonna think about this.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
I have a feeling they've already guessed what went on,
but only one way to make sure.

Speaker 1 (39:02):
And that is the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (39:05):
Again, it's seals is pointless, like my X ruined our relationship,
but won't leave me alone.

Speaker 4 (39:11):
Give me one more shot, one more chance.

Speaker 3 (39:13):
Hey, let me make your life a mess one more time. Firstly,
I have really struggled to write this all down. Our
friendship groups are so heavily entwined that it's got so
many people involved now and I don't even know where
to start. So much has happened, and I'm doing a
lot of work on myself after all this.

Speaker 2 (39:27):
By the way, this.

Speaker 3 (39:27):
Comes from users stressed pressy Messi on the r slash
Okay story time subreaddit I female twenty six started talking
to my ex j male twenty three in February. We
were in the same extended friendship group and I was
really worried about dating within this group. I already had
an ex in the group see who I had dated
five years ago before. He had met my friends through
work in a small town two years after we split.

(39:49):
He had no idea they were my friends until about
a year before a wedding we both attended. We're now
on good terms after a lot of work after a
messy split where Chester cheated on me with his ex
at a fest of a We don't hang out or
go for coffee or anything, but we do have a
chat and get on well enough. If we're both out
on a night out from the onset, Jay pursued me
and messaged me. Originally I thought he was gay, but

(40:11):
it turned out he wasn't. I ended up finally agreeing
to a date after our mutual best friend M female
twenty three pushed both of us to pursue the developing feelings.
We had an amazing first date and we talked all evening.
We went on more dates and the topic of spicy
Sleep started coming up more. I had made it clear
that I don't sleep with someone until a romantic connection
has really been established due to past trauma that made

(40:33):
it hard to connect. After Spicy Sleep, he really understood
it made me feel completely.

Speaker 2 (40:37):
Safe and relaxed with him about it. We love that.

Speaker 3 (40:40):
Our biggest disagreement was arguing over condiments and which are
the best.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
He eats his.

Speaker 3 (40:45):
Fries dry, and that is truly abhorrent to me. As
stupid as it was, it made me laugh and it
was like dating my best friend because he was already
my friend beforehand. When things started to progress, we finally
slept together and it was great. I didn't feel sick
having him in my bed, and he was the first
man to stay in my bed after my last boyfriend

(41:06):
who caused all my trauma. I'd told him everything about it,
in more details than I had with any of my friends,
and he'd been so understanding and supportive about my issues
and the commitment problems I've since faced after the severe
trauma I experienced. Glad to hear you're on the path
of healing op for real. We started planning further in
advance for things in May. We had two big date
nights planned. One was a work event for him and

(41:26):
the other was going to be an event with friends.
My birthday was a few weeks before these things, as
it is at the beginning of May, and I'd asked
if he wanted to come on the day out with
my friends. I made it clear that there was no
pressure for me to come, and I just thought he'd
enjoy the day as a lot of our mutual friends
were coming, as well as a couple of my friends
from UTI in childhood. He didn't even hesitate when he
said yes. Our next date involved us going out for dinner,

(41:49):
where he started making Christmas plans for me to spend
time with his family. I ended up having a minor
panic attack at planning so far in advance because We
were in mid April at this point, and he stopped
immediately once I said I wasn't to talk that far
in advance. We'd agreed not to sleep with other people
after the first time we'd slept together, as we were
both serious about our developing relationship, or so I thought.
Oh no, oh, no, here comes the cold water. My

(42:11):
birthday came and we had an amazing time, despite the
little things that irritated me. He was over an hour late.
The boys had gone to the pub whilst I went
to brunch with the girls, and they all ended up
trashed and incredibly late. After a few stern words, they
eventually showed up. I had a bit of a wobble
about being the center of attention, but Jay took me
off for some time where I was one on one
with someone and talked me down from the incoming panic.

(42:34):
We rejoined my friends at the pub and he pulled
me for a chat about our future.

Speaker 2 (42:38):
He asked me to be.

Speaker 3 (42:39):
His girlfriend, but I told him I wasn't quite ready
for a label. We then agreed to complete exclusivity, where
we didn't see anyone else anymore and basically committed, but
without the official label.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
According to Jay, interesting.

Speaker 3 (42:51):
After this, he spent the night chatting to my friends
and told our married friends that he was going to
take care of me and that he was serious about me,
something They relayed the next out of happiness and excitement.
All of my friends loved him and were so happy
for us. We left at nine pm and he stayed
the night, something that was becoming more routine. I loved
spending time with him, and my work colleagues were all
enthusiastically rooting for us, as I'd been single for three

(43:13):
and a half years with very little luck in the
dating feel I was completely smitten with him and started
to see myself falling head over heels in love with
them who During our evenings, we'd talk about the days
we were having, and he expressed his frustrations about his friends.
Some of his opinions were questionable, to say the least,
and were offensive. I called him out for the most part,
but ashamedly I didn't make it clear enough that he

(43:35):
was being mean and shouldn't have said some of these
things at all. He was going out of the country
to a festival with the boys and em a couple
of days after my birthday. I had no issues with this,
until EM had asked me how I was so chilled
with the situation. I trusted him up until EM mentioned
being chill. I am not famous for my chill amongst
my friends. When I asked for more details, he explained

(43:55):
that his long term bad blood x L female twenty
three and his ex fling B female twenty four were
both going as well. He'd completely omitted this, but I
just noted it and didn't mention to him.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
I knew as I started to get suspicious.

Speaker 3 (44:09):
During the week he was away, we'd gone from speaking
every day to no contact at all. I'd assumed that
he had no data, but he was viewing all my
social media posts within ten minutes of posting.

Speaker 2 (44:19):
I knew something was up, but I had no evidence.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
Oh come on, dude, this guy can't keep a secret.
Once they were back, I still heard nothing. EM came
over for dinner and proudly announced that nothing happened when
they were away. I didn't believe her. I knew something
had I just had no evidence.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
Still.

Speaker 3 (44:34):
Finally, after a drink, I asked to speak to Jay.
He called me and I told him I knew everything,
so this was his chance to tell me the truth.
This was the biggest bluff of my life. Yo op,
he's pulling the police interiator tactic. He immediately told me
that he'd slept with Elle while they were away.

Speaker 4 (44:50):
Yes, come on.

Speaker 3 (44:52):
He even followed it up with I thought about you
the whole time. Oh gross. Within five days of my birthday,
he'd slept with her. He didn't even apologize for any
of it, not even those bad I'm sorry I hurt
your feelings apologies. After some insults hurled from my end,
I ended it. I didn't cry until I was finally
off the phone, and EM was devastated. M shared a

(45:13):
hotel room with Lisette, and she had lied about the
night she'd spent with Jay. We had no idea if
Lisette knew about me, and she lived with one of
Jay's friends, so we had assumed she'd known, as Jay
had told this guy about us. EM stayed with me
that night as I was a total mess. She had
never seen me so upset, as I normally have kept
it together when things go wrong. She had known Jay
for ten years and decided to cut him out. We

(45:34):
called married friends so we could let them know the
situation and that I wanted to stay away from Jay.
But I wanted them to stay friends if they wanted.
I told the married friends that em and I support
their respective friendships with Jay. Realistically, I didn't want to
be that girl who split up the group, and I
didn't want them to choose between me and him. Prizingly
to me, they all cut him off. Yeah, that's a

(45:55):
good group of friends. They said that they all found
his actions awful and were appalled by it all, especially
after the way he'd acted less than five days before
with me and all my friends. Emma and I spoke
about it NonStop so I could piece my feelings together
and work out where I stood. He'd made it clear
that this was premeditated cheating during our breakup chat, and
I couldn't fathom what I had done to deserve it.

(46:16):
To be honest, you didn't do anything to deserve it.
I can tell you that right now. I'm not perfect,
and I never pretend to be, but I don't think.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
I deserve this. Jay idolizes Chester.

Speaker 3 (46:25):
In the weeks that followed, I was egged on to
confront lysett for her part in all this. I reached
out to Beth, who had heard on the grapevine about
what had happened. I knew Beth through Jay and wanted
to get to know her more before everything happened. We
met for brunch and she just asked me what happened.
I told her everything, sparing most details. She informed me
that Lisette had no idea. I was so glad I
hadn't confronted Lisette, but I had spoken horribly behind her back.

(46:48):
I contacted Lysette that night to apologize for the things
I'd said, and she immediately responded, apologizing for the part
that she'd played in everything, and asked to meet up.
I was hesitant, but we ended up going for dinner injury.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
Within a week.

Speaker 3 (47:00):
She told me everything about that night, including the fact
that he wasn't as intoxicated as he'd made out. He
used her grief from losing a parent to angle their closeness,
and he'd even done something similar to her when they
had dated the first time around. She explained about how
he has since been saying that I was horrible and controlling,
which is why he cheated on me. Garbage man. Throw

(47:21):
this man into the deep space. I had one question
for her. Realistically, in the month after the split, I'd
unpaused my dating apps on one of them, someone had
liked me using my late partner's name and photos of
us from before his death. I was shaken to my core.
The married friends automatically said they thought Jay was behind
the fake profile. I wasn't sure, but they were almost certain.

(47:41):
I tore him to shreds in our breakup call, but
surely not enough to warrant this.

Speaker 2 (47:45):
I needed to know if she thought he was capable
of this.

Speaker 3 (47:47):
Lisette informed me that something similar had happened following their breakup,
but she never knew if it was him. For Lisette,
this confirmed it was him who had done this to her. Yeah,
I feel like, oh yeah, that's too much of a
coincidence not to not line up.

Speaker 2 (48:01):
You both break up.

Speaker 3 (48:01):
With this dude, and then you both get ghost profiles
of your previous lovers who are now dead.

Speaker 2 (48:07):
Like he's trying to traumatize you, guys. This guy sucks.

Speaker 3 (48:10):
I was devastated. It ended up being a rather lovely
eve where I felt connected to my body and she's
actually really lovely. We are quite good friends now. In fact,
Lisette had a go at Jay for his behavior that evening.
After leaving, Beth cut off Jay as well as her
and I hang out so regularly now that she didn't
want the negativity he brings around anymore. I heard rumblings

(48:30):
that Jay has since said we weren't together, so it
wasn't cheating, and that I'm exaggerat it hurts, but I
didn't want to keep it going. Really, those who knew
what happened knew. Those who didn't want to be involved
had my full support. I just wanted to heal and
move on, to be honest, And if I'm being honest,
you guys can join us live on YouTube every weekday
at three PMPST.

Speaker 2 (48:51):
Just tap that profile.

Speaker 4 (48:53):
This guy's dirt bag and you've got a friend out
of it.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
Yeah, you did.

Speaker 3 (48:56):
It sounds like you got really a lot of solid
friends out of this. For the whole married friend group
to cut him off.

Speaker 4 (49:01):
I would encourage you to maybe look for some ways
to like continue to heal yourself because I know you
got cheated on, you have a late partner, you got
cheated on like twice. It seems like you've got a
lot of stuff to work through and you're probably already
working through it. Yeah, like maybe finding a therapist to
help you. Therapists can go with this stuff and be
like because it's emotionally heavy, so that brings us to now.

(49:21):
He was called out by Lysette's housemate.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
The housemate met up with Jay, who was acting as
if he hadn't done anything wrong. Housemate and I were acquaintances,
but he is close with Lisette, Beth and M, so
he knew everything at this point. The housemate was angry
at him for his conduct and told him as such.
He made the point that he has split everyone up
and everyone is angry. So Jay got whiny and upset
and sent apologies out. He sent one to M detailing

(49:44):
how upset he was about the situation and how he's
left it so many months because he was so scared,
but he's done loads of growth. He sent one to
Lysette about how he was so sorry for his treatment
of her and he's sorry for not telling her the
details about the week away. I had been reduced to
the details. Lisette had two apologies. M had one, and
I'm still waiting. The married friends want apologies for his

(50:05):
behavior and the lying on my birthday because he clearly
wasn't serious about me. I don't think an apology would
have changed anything for me, especially one he only sent
because he was told off by his housemate, but I
do think it would have given me that last bit
of closure. I don't really know why I shared this,
but I just think I needed to get it out.
It's been months of working on my self worth and
just connecting with my friends. Friends and time are the

(50:27):
best healers for everything, and on that I certainly agree.

Speaker 4 (50:30):
I agreed.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
I'm glad that you have.

Speaker 3 (50:32):
You have yourself a nice little friend group that's supporting
you during this. I knew my husband was perfect for
me because I stalked him.

Speaker 4 (50:40):
I think it just makes your relationship easier.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
You're just putting in the extra effort. Ope, I see you.

Speaker 3 (50:45):
I twenty four female, married my husband twenty eight mail,
about a year and a half ago. The first time
I saw my husband, I was a freshman in high
school and he was a freshman in college. He was
walking his dog at the park when he stopped to
talk to my brother twenty seven male, because they happened
to go to high school together.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
That was the moment I became hooked. Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (51:02):
That same day, I found his Instagram, his family social media,
and also where he lived, since my brother offered to
walk him home while I tagged along. When I got
home that day, I knew I wanted him, but of
course I was only fourteen while he was eighteen.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
So I came up with a plan.

Speaker 3 (51:15):
By the way, this comes from user hot relation eight
ninety nine on the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I
found out his younger brother was only one year younger
than me and would be attending my current high school.
I figured that I had to befriend his younger brother
by any means possible next year when he moves up
as a freshman while I become a sophomore.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
And I did.

Speaker 3 (51:33):
It took about halfway of my junior year, where we
became best friends and he invited me over regularly to
his house to hang out. This is where I was
able to befriend my current husband's mom, and God did
she love to talk about him.

Speaker 4 (51:46):
Flip was switched and this is in Crazyville. We were
in Crazyville.

Speaker 2 (51:50):
Hey, this is just a girl who knew exactly what
she wanted.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
Yes, at fourteen, knew exactly who her husband was going
to be and was like, I have a plan.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
From her.

Speaker 3 (52:02):
I found out what college he goes to his past girlfriends?
What is elementary slash middle school was his favorite slash
least favorite foods, his pet peeves, what he likes, et cetera,
et cetera.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
This is actually starting to scare me. This is scary.

Speaker 4 (52:15):
It's also scary like knowing what's going through your head
right now and talking to the mom to get all this.
At least she's not snooping. She's just asking questions. I mean,
she's not snooping yet.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (52:26):
It seemed like she think day one she snooped, Bro,
you're talking about day one. She has idoctored him. He
was fully doffed no, and.

Speaker 4 (52:34):
She found out where he lived. You can do a
little social media stock, but once you find where they live.

Speaker 3 (52:38):
Eventually, when my visits started getting more and more frequent,
I formally met current husband again.

Speaker 2 (52:43):
Current husband, who i'll call e it's call Ethan.

Speaker 3 (52:46):
Ethan would come over every other week and stay for
either Friday through Sunday or Saturday to Sunday. On those days, specifically,
I would wear my cutest outfits to impress him and
also joke around with him a lot. Eventually I befriended
him as well. A little background on Ethan. He's the
school record holder for a certain sport at my school,
which I just so happened to do. And around halfway
through my senior year, Ethan came back during the season

(53:07):
to help coach the current high school athletes, which included me,
in order to get some more volunteer work hours in,
and I got to spend a lot more time with him.
I loved every second of it. We were friends before,
but then we became much closer since I got to
spend lots of extra time with him after school, where
sometimes he would even drive me home since we lived
relatively close. Oh boys, I can only imagine like the

(53:29):
little trophies and trinkets that this girl was like secretly
like taking, like.

Speaker 2 (53:33):
From his car.

Speaker 3 (53:34):
Like she would just like run her finger like over
the like the dashboard, and like a hair was on there,
and she would just like to just eat it.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
This is what true love looks like. Don't let anyone
tell you this.

Speaker 4 (53:44):
Goodness, gracious, this is some of this was cute.

Speaker 2 (53:48):
What's not cute is that this guy became her husband.

Speaker 4 (53:51):
Like I think I got married. It's all planned out.
That's what I don't like it. It's like all methodically
planned out. Then I come then I get her mom,
then I get her Yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:58):
It was like this of like first I'll get to
the little brother, yeah, and then I'll work my way up.

Speaker 2 (54:04):
It's pretty scary.

Speaker 3 (54:05):
I don't know how i'd feel if I was the
husband reading this. Fast forward to when I had to
move away to New York City for college. Ethan moved
with me since he coincidentally got a job near my college.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
Edit.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
I lied, It wasn't a coincidence.

Speaker 3 (54:16):
I found out he got a job offer and applied
to a college nearby his workplace.

Speaker 2 (54:21):
This girl's going the extra extra mile.

Speaker 3 (54:24):
Being each other's only friends in a new state, we
became incredibly close. We started dating when I was a
sophomore in college. He proposed to me after I graduated,
and we just got married almost a year ago. He
knows absolutely nothing about how I truly know him and
believes it is fate that brought us together through his
younger brother. Lately, I've been debating on whether or not

(54:45):
I should tell him, or at least tell his younger
brother the truth, since the only reason I befriended him
was to get closer to Ethan. I feel guilty every
time he tells others our love story, because the truth
is I've known him for ten years, while he's only
known me for about seven. This also started at fourteen.
Think about a fourteen year old brain. The level of
an infatuation that this fourteen year old had with this guy.

Speaker 4 (55:05):
Oh boy.

Speaker 3 (55:06):
I told him this fourth of July, after the fireworks
mostly ended and we were heading back, I asked him
in the car, wouldn't it have been weird if we
had met each other before the first time we actually met,
but we just didn't think of each other as significant
at the time. He smiled and he said, that's impossible.
There's no universe where we would have met, and I

(55:26):
would not think of you as significant. That statement struck
me in my heart because I knew I would soon
prove that sentence very wrong.

Speaker 2 (55:34):
But I continued on with my plan. Anyway. Oh my god, girl,
your commitment.

Speaker 3 (55:38):
What if I told you we have met each other
before before that time I was introduced as Ethan's little
brother's friend. He looked at me like I was crazy.
So that's when I pulled over on the side of
the road and pulled out my phone to show him
the post I put up here before that explained everything.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
She showed him this post. Oh my god, you are
built entirely different.

Speaker 4 (55:58):
This would be such a good movie.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
This is a good script.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
He took about eight minutes to read the whole thing,
and when he finished, he put the phone down and
stared straight ahead like he was dumbfounded, scared, confused, all
at the same time. I started throwing out every excuse
an apology I could muster at the moment for about
fifteen minutes straight when he decided to tell me to stop,
and I did.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
Then he just sat there.

Speaker 3 (56:20):
And sobbed uncontrollably for about ten minutes before he finally
asked me how much of our relationship and how much
of my identity was fabricated according to his liking. I
told him the honest truth that none of my personality
or identity was fabricated for him.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
Girl, do you believe that? That's because if you believe that.

Speaker 4 (56:37):
So I was playing this whole game, some of the
parts of it would be like my TRUSSEEU, I probably like,
I'm really not that into.

Speaker 3 (56:42):
Star Trek except for the fact of how we met.
The only thing I ever changed about myself to make
him like me more was lying about liking Chinese food
because I hate Chinese food.

Speaker 4 (56:52):
Okay, okay, that's what okay?

Speaker 2 (56:53):
Oh cool.

Speaker 3 (56:54):
Well, that's one thing. It's one thing, But other than that,
everything else was real. Although my friendship with his young
your brother was built upon ill intentions, my friendship between
his brother and I is now one of the most
genuine friendships.

Speaker 2 (57:05):
That I have.

Speaker 3 (57:06):
He just cried and told me that he doesn't want
a divorce at all, but he does want us to
have some time of part so that he can absorb
the truth that I gave him. He also said that
he expects me to tell his brother and mom this Friday,
because they deserve to know the truth just as much
as he did. I told him okay, and we drove
the rest of the ride home in silence. When we
got home, he hugged me and cried for about five
minutes before he got out of the car, packed his

(57:26):
stuff and said that he'll be staying at a nearby
hotel for now. He said that he knows that he
still loves me, but does not yet know how to
react to the fact that the beginning of our relationship
was very, very orchestrated. To sum it all up, I
guess telling him was a success. I honestly don't know.
He sent me a good night and I love you
text last night while he was at the hotel, so
I guess he's not so much mad as he may

(57:47):
feel betrayed.

Speaker 2 (57:49):
And there's another update.

Speaker 4 (57:50):
I think they filled it portrade.

Speaker 3 (57:51):
Can you imagine if you felt like you had been
tricked for ten years by your wife that you just
married a year ago, Like if you like your girlfriend,
like if she if she's secretly told you, like, yeah,
I've known you for seven years, and that random happenstance
how we met wasn't random at all. I entered that
contest to win that.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
So that he would bring me there so I could
meet you.

Speaker 3 (58:09):
Hey, what did I say at the beginning? Guys, find
you a girl who actually likes you this much? Well,
it scares you?

Speaker 2 (58:14):
Oh right?

Speaker 4 (58:15):
My response is, oh, that's cute. But I've never been
that deep into it, So I don't really know.

Speaker 3 (58:19):
How many people have really been in that deep where
it's like somebody is scheming for ten years.

Speaker 4 (58:26):
I do kind of have like someone that kind of
stalks me a little bit, but like I'm not interested
in them.

Speaker 2 (58:31):
Okay, see, but it's you already know about it.

Speaker 4 (58:32):
Yeah, I already know.

Speaker 3 (58:33):
I did I know about it until a year into
their marriage. I woke up this morning to find out
that the hubby not only lied about going to a
hotel to stay at, but also lied about not wanting
a divorce through a text message. Well, if I can
just interrupt the real quick, I don't think he was
necessarily lying. I think he was just trying to compute
one of the most unbelievable things he's probably heard in

(58:54):
his entire life.

Speaker 4 (58:55):
And he's probably scared.

Speaker 3 (58:57):
I mean, he didn't know what to say it that moment.
He probably meant it. In that moment, He's like, I
don't want a divorce. I just need time to think.
Then he thought about it and he was like, yo,
I need a divorce now. He went to his family's home,
not a hotel, and then told the entire story himself,
probably exaggerated it too to make me seem crazy.

Speaker 4 (59:15):
That could be boss, you know what.

Speaker 2 (59:17):
I don't want to I don't want to say. That's impossible.

Speaker 3 (59:20):
His whole family wants nothing to do with me and
claims I'm a psycho. He said that he lied about
going to a hotel because he knew if he told
the truth, I would try to stop him. Honestly, I
feel so betrayed. Shut the hell up, girl, you lied
to him. The entire time you with.

Speaker 4 (59:34):
This happens, they're like, you can't do this, you can't
do that, you can't do this, can't do that. And
the second they do one of the things, while they're
doing all these other things, it's like, watch you do that,
you trade me, And it's like huge double standard.

Speaker 3 (59:43):
It's like you got to be able to understand that
this guy just had the biggest like truth bomb of
all time dropped on him, this woman he's in love with,
and thought it was all just magical fame. Now has
all been thrown completely upside down. And by the way,
you can join us live on YouTube every weekday at
three p MPSC just tap our profile.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
I tried to be a good wife by showing him
the true me.

Speaker 3 (01:00:05):
This person is completely unhinged and this is what he does.
I did all this work just for it to end
up like this. Honestly, I kind of deserve it. I
didn't even tell him in the first place because I
felt bad. I told him because I had a suspicion
that he was catching on to the fact that I
knew him for two and a half years before he
knew me, largely because I found out he was keeping
my old phone in his work desk, my old phone

(01:00:27):
that has screenshots of a lot of his old Instagram posts,
plans in my notes app about him, et cetera. So
I guess he never truly loved me if he can't
even get past an honest confession like this one. I
might update this in a few years when I find
a new husband.

Speaker 4 (01:00:41):
New project.

Speaker 3 (01:00:42):
Shout out to the unfortunate soul that becomes this person's
next husband.