My coworker asked me to be her man of honor…but we’re not even friends! | Reddit Stories

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
My coworker is upset that I refused to be her
man of honor. I had to involve h R Oh boy,
HR is involved. This happened yesterday and I'm still confused.
Yesterday was my first day back to work after being
off for two weeks. This is kind of important. One
of my coworkers had gotten engaged the week before I left.

(00:21):
When she announced at work, we all did the congratulations
and happy for her type of things, ingrats. I thought
it was over, so when I left for vacation the
last I knew, no plans had yet been made. By
the way, this comes from user just a rn on
the r slash ok storytime subreddit. Then yesterday, when I

(00:41):
went back to my work, Boss k Let's say, Boss
Kim and best friend el Lisa. Kim and Lisa said
that coworker C Chris was looking for me. I asked
what was up and they weren't sure, but she was
carrying a little gift bag. A few minutes later, Chris
found me and asked how my vacation was. I was

(01:02):
telling him about it, and she cut me off and
said she had a very important question to ask. She
handed a little gift bag and asked if I would
be her best man of honor for her wedding. I
thanked her and told her that typically this would traditionally
go to a close female relationship. She responded that there
was nothing traditional about her wedding, so it was all good.
I looked over at Lisa and Kim, who were both

(01:24):
trying to keep from laughing. I again thanked her, congratulated her,
and told her that I wasn't interested in being part
of her wedding party and that I would be happier
being a guest in the audience. I swear when I
said this, it was when we watched her entire demeanor
change flipped. Switch went off. She went off saying I
have to be in her wedding and that she doesn't

(01:45):
understand why I would say no, I just got back
a vacation.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
I don't really know you.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
I don't know you like that. I told her that
we only knew each other for a short time and
that I had no interest in trying to plan parties,
dinners and shopping trips. She told me I needed to
think about it and she would get back to me later.
You need to think about this and I'll be right back.
I told her to go for it, but my answer
will be the same. She walked away, and I looked

(02:10):
at Kim and Lisa and asked what the ever loving, fresh,
creepy heck was that. Kim started to laugh and said
she didn't know, but saying no like I did, might
have saved me a lot of headaches in the future.
Lisa made the comment that she went straight to Bridezilla
and this was a look into what she was going
to be like Chris came back today, however, she went

(02:33):
with a different approach and had me a list of
what she wants me to do and her vision of
how she sees things. I asked her why she gave
me this, and she said that as her man of honor,
that these were my responsibilities. I told her again that
I was not going to do any of this. She
started again that she needs me to do this and

(02:55):
how much fun it was going to be. Then she asked,
haven't you ever wanted to be part of something special?
I don't know you. I told her I was. I
was a nurse enter Kim who could sense that I
needed help and told Chris one of her patients needed
her help. I told Kim, if this keeps up, I
might need her help. She said she was already watching

(03:17):
it and it would intervene if I needed it.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
That's nice.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
I think you needed it at the very beginning. Oh yeah,
you're laughing over there. But guys, throw me a bone.
I just got back. I don't want to be part
of this. What did I miss? We aren't that close.
She just transferred down to my unit from a different
unit six months ago. I had no idea who she
was until that point. Lisa is saying that she is
close in age to me, and she might feel that

(03:41):
to be enough of a connection, which it's not. Did
I miss something when we were asked, are we supposed
to automatically gush and jump up and down in excitement?
Why is saying no a bad thing? There's an update Cloud.
This is all for clout. Nothing's traditional about my wedding.
And she has no guy friends and like this is
like the only guy here.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
I don't even think she'd how many no guy friends?
I think she just wants to have a mate. Well,
probably because she doesn't have any guy friends. You can't
get a man of honor.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Yeah, I think all of them backed out and like, oh,
he'll have to say yes.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
Well, I'd to say yes. I could not imagine knowing
someone for six months and then hey, you're gonna be
my man of honor. Yeah, imagine if she does have friends,
they would fit as if like Keon was my like
best man, my brother.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
I would say no. I would be like, oh, dude,
that's I appreciate you. But no, that's okay, And I'll
be like, yeah, I'll celebrate with you, but I'll go
to the wedding. I'll maybe have a fun speech for
like two seconds, but I'm not taking that mantle. Update.
Hey everyone, first, I apologize. I never thought this was
going to go as crazy as it did. I want
all of you to know I read all of your

(04:43):
responses and responded to as many as I was able
to thank you all for your amazing insights and comments.
Many that made me laugh, which I needed. I have
been sick and that really helped to cheer me up.
Thanks Internet. I had to meet with my lawyer today
regarding family issues. My neighbor slash best friend slash coworker

(05:04):
Lisa took me. Shout out to Lisa. I really felt
awful and driving wasn't a good idea. We were talking
about this on the way, and we both were asking
a lot of the same questions that all you were asking.
The big one was that we were asking about the
circumstances of her transfer. She went from med surge for
w to the er to those who are in the

(05:26):
medical field. I don't know what that means. It sounds
like a lot, but maybe in the comments, you guys
know how crazy of a transfer that is. That is
a huge change. I have to work tomorrow, so we
will see what happens. But Lisa and I are going
to ask Kim about the transfer and raise a couple
of other concerns. After I got home from the meeting
with my lawyer, I slept the rest of the day.

(05:49):
And if you asked about if Chris and I hang
out outside of work, the answer is a flat no.
I really don't know anything about her. I've helped her
a few times with patients and different things, but that's
in the workplace. But our relationship is one hundred percent
purely work related. Oh, come on, war more than just
work buddies or buddies. That was why I was so
surprised that she asked me to do this. It didn't

(06:11):
seem like she was asking anymore, seems like she's attacking,
like forcing. That is why I was so surprised that
she asked me about being the man of honor. I
have a very small friend base, and in all honesty,
I like to keep it that way. I really have
no interest in being part of this. I'm not a
wedding person. After reading so many Bridezilla stories and hearing
about over the top weddings, they become a huge turn

(06:32):
off to me. Spending tens of thousands to hundreds of
thousands of dollars with insane, unrealistic demands that turn people
against each other. Yeah, we've heard about those. Why I
would rather use that money and spend that time planning
my next trip or vocation, which we never went about
two weeks off. That's crazy. Many people said that I
was being used as a token or a prop in

(06:54):
a wedding or a gay best friend. I never really
thought about it. I admit that I'm out and proud,
but I'm not going to just pretend to be someone's
friend just so they can fulfill some kind of fetish
they have for wanting to have a gay best friend
or some kind of status. She feels the need to fulfill,
or she could.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Pay you for it and be like, hey, Besty, I
will do this for ten grant.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
I would be your gay best friend. It takes me
a lot to get offended, but if this were actually
the case, I would really be rather offended. I was
not put on the face of the earth to be
someone's playtoy. A lot of people have said that maybe
she doesn't have a boyfriend. She does, she has brought
him in before. If she has any insecurity, I don't
understand it. She's attractive, smart, and knows her stuff, so

(07:37):
I'm at a loss as to why she's acting like this.
A lot of people say, go to Hr, it's not
even respectful anymore. At this point, He's like, you're going,
here's the list, do this. Thanks, love you, buddy. I'm
starting that process with my boss Kim. Especially if both
Lisa and Kim are your bosses, they already know what's
going on. She's completely aware of the situation, being with

(07:59):
us when all this happens. She has told me that
she is watching the situation and will jump in if
I need her to. I trust her completely. While Kim
and HR can control the situation from the hospital, they
can't control the situation from a personal level if she
were maybe to follow me home or something like that.
So I think that covers it all. I wish I

(08:20):
could say this is over, but most likely there is
more to come. Set your update me update three. I
keep forgetting to thank my boyfriend. He has been with
me on this, but more in the background first when
we were laughing about it, but when everything happened Thursday,
he was there as well. Lisa was able to get
him away from his unit for a little bit before
It'll be okay for a boyfriend, hug. He stayed the

(08:42):
night with me a couple of nights as well, also
helping with me being sick. So yeah, I'm very lucky
to have such a great support. This intro is going
to be long, but I'm telling you about this for
a reason, and later in this update it will make sense.
I'm hoping this will be done and that this will
be the last of the whole situation. I was born
into a family where I was referred to as an

(09:05):
issue that needed to be dealt with.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
Ooh, that's not good, it's not fun.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
No. I lived in the shadows of my sister, who
was the child my parents wanted. They wanted one child,
which was a girl. That way, Dad had his daddy
girl and mom had her mommy little princess. Then I
came along. Keep in mind that I'm twenty three, so
back then my parents had options, but chose to not
use any of those options. So instead my parents raised

(09:31):
my sister, and I was raised by a nanny who
even to this day, is one of the biggest influences
in my life and I am so grateful for her.
She helped me with so much. I finally realized that
all these years later, that by referring to as a
issue that needed to be dealt with, that they stripped
me of my humanity and individuality and self worth as

(09:53):
a person. I think that's why I have worked so
hard to establish myself in my career and in my
life as a way to become a person again and
not to just be that issue that needed to be
dealt with. This past Thursday, things came to a head
with the bridezilla known as Chris, and the truth came out.
All right, now we're getting somewhere. My best friend Lisa
has been sticking close to me when we worked together.

(10:15):
If Chris was to start something. We weren't sure if
she was going to leave it alone or start up again.
I was really hoping that it was done, but she
had to try one more time. I've been sick, I
had a busy morning, so I really just wanted a
few minutes to go to the bathroom, grab a quick snack,
and maybe, I don't know, breathe. Chris came up and

(10:36):
had her list and asked if I had a few
minutes to talk about the wedding planning. I looked at
her and told her again no, that I was not
interested in being part of her wedding and that I
was not going to help in any way, and she
needed to drop the subject and leave me alone. Again.
She went into the whole thing of how I was
going to do this and how much funny was going

(10:56):
to be. Does this look like I'm having fun?

Speaker 2 (10:58):
This is looking I'm enjoying myself.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
Here, here we go with that line, all of you
love the first time? Why in the ever loving fresh
is it so important for me to be your man
of honor. I'm not interested and I'm not doing it.
It is exactly as a pretty much all of you
told me it would be. She was just planning on
using me as a token or a play toy. She
took all of our fed up gay stereotypes that are

(11:21):
out in society and put them into one sentence. What
modern liberal woman isn't going to have a gay bestie
on her arm for special events. I felt everything in
my stomach move and a wave of nausea came over me.
I felt like I couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough.
This pissed Lisa off to no end. Lisa is really kind,

(11:42):
like the overprotective sister that I wish I would have had.
And took Chris off to visit our boss Kim and
they laid it all out everything that was said. While
I wasn't in on the conversation, Lisa and Kim filled
me in on what was said. Kim came back to
check on me and I was still hiding in the bathroom,
knocked on the door and asked if she could come in.
I asked her for a bottle of water first. While

(12:04):
I was waiting, I realized two things. I realized why
I chose not to hang out with her and why
I didn't like her. I couldn't figure out why I
didn't like her, just that there was something that gave
me the heby gebis. But I realized that I didn't
like her because she's a different version of my sister, Bossy,
you do what I'm going to tell you to do.
While Chris is educated and employed, she doesn't care about

(12:27):
other people and their feelings. She's like my sister in
that sense. If she wants something bad enough, she'll figure
it out how to get it. The second thing I
realize was that she did exactly what my parents did
to me. She completely dehumanized me and reduced me to
an entity, just kind of turned me into a token
or a thing for her. I think the word that

(12:48):
best describes it is I'm of just a play toy
what really gets me, just like my sister. Chris doesn't
think she did anything wrong, and I'm being too sensitive
and a delicate snowflake. Well, if you don't want to
be sensitive snowflake, you can joined us every day live
three pm PST. Just tap our profile. We have a
little bit more in the story, Riley. But again, like

(13:08):
you said, you called it, called it Chris's scum.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah, disgusting dude.

Speaker 1 (13:13):
The fact that again you heard the first thing was like,
is this a different type of wedding.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
You're like, oh, yeah, that's what they're using them for.
Super sad and I hate that you were looked at
as just kind of an object or like something to
boost their morale instead of as a human.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
You stood your ground. Good for you, and good on
your friends. Your boss friends shout out to youp But
let's just go and finish off the story. The next day,
an emergency meeting was held at work and Chris is
being suspended pending investigation and a new transfer is being
looked into. Kim made the request for her to be terminated.
The director of Emergency nursing said this was the last resort,

(13:49):
but she was going to be or looking into options,
which could be sending her to a new hospital or facility.
This didn't go over well with me. I asked what
would happen if she did the exact same thing to
someone different. She didn't really give me an answer, but
she said she still needs to look into a few
things and at this point she is suspended. Anyway, here
it is. I'm still pretty sick and had to work

(14:11):
this weekend. If I can, I'll respond. I want to
thank everyone for all the amazing support I am going
back to my lawyer to see if he can figure
out how to send her a cease and assist letter
to make sure she doesn't contact me. I'm heading to bed,
have a good night, and that's the end of it.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
That's the end of it. Awesome workplace.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
I think we've seen enough Grey's anatomy to know, like, yeah,
maybe it is real.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
Maybe the diseases here are better than some of the
people here.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
Well, I think maybe if she's getting transferred, they'll have
like a little like asterisk for Chris or against ce
for this story that hey, she's got some problems, like
she does her job well, but other than that, she
got no friends and she's got problems. But that's the
end of the story. Guys, again, don't be forced into
a wedding that you don't know the person. That's the

(14:57):
more of a story. I just say no, don't don't
be coursed or be forced to, you know, do something,
especially if you don't know the person. So that's it.
My infertile coworkers are rude and disrespectful, so I announced
my pregnancy to them.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
That'll shut them off.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
I thirty two female, recently discovered that I'm pregnant. Congratulations.
This is great news as at a not so great time.
I'm coming up on the anniversary of my siblings' death
depression I found them happened several years ago. Just lost
my job, and I'm generally not in a good place mentally.
By the way, this comes from user a dark Happy

(15:32):
on the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. So my thirty
five male husband, I'll just call him Frank, is very
supportive and he's encouraging me to take a year off
from work anyway, since I do not like my career
field and I am seeking to transition. My parents are
very well off and have agreed to help pay our
bills until I figure out what I want to do.

(15:53):
I was the breadwinner, but only by like seven thousand.
I'm very fortunate they made the money they did, and
I'm very aware of that. Yes, this is relevant. The
problem comes in with my coworkers all year. I have
been feeling like they were in on something I wasn't,
meaning me not having a position. Started in the summer

(16:14):
with where I work. I had my first child in
July when I was hired, and I was hired starting
on maternity leave, so no one met me until the
beginning of October. But since October until now, I've been
asked various questions such as what I plan to do
in the summer. Do I plan to finish getting my degree?
I have two masters, so I have no clue why
I keep getting asked this, and some of them cannot

(16:36):
be bothered to even remember my name. So I feel
like I was hired for one of two reasons. First reason,
I'm a minority, and it just makes the company I
work for look good because they cannot find minorities. Insert
side eye here, Because I think we all know that's
bowl number two. They needed someone to fill the position
until a new graduate came along that was a cheaper

(16:59):
hire to fill this pace. Number two is what ended
up happening. They actually had me train the person and
then told me afterwards they'd be taking my position. What workplace?

Speaker 2 (17:09):
Oh man, that's one will tell key on certain things.
Who doesn't take my job.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
I was like, what, I'm going to train somebody and
they're like, all right, you're gone. Yeah, if you're wondering. No,
I was never evaluated, nor was I ever told I
was doing something wrong anyway, No one knew I was
pregnant until yesterday. I work in a female dominated industry
and a lot of women I work with are experiencing infertility.
I normally don't mention my baby unless someone asks, which

(17:35):
is rare. They can't even remember my name, let alone
that I have a nine month old, but I wanted
to share with people that I'm having another because it
really is a win for me. I told my husband
that I can't share the news at work because of
the other women's infertility. Frank asked what that had to
do with me and why that was my problem, but
I told him it was a respect thing. He said

(17:56):
he didn't understand why I was extending respect to people
who can't even remember who I am, but we ended
the conversation there. Yesterday, I was talking to two people
Mary fifty four and Alan twenty eight, who are the
only ones I feel are people who care about me
at work. They talk to me all the time, but
it's hard to get them on their own because other

(18:17):
coworkers often intrude on my conversation to speak to them,
interrupt me and talk over me. I really want to
know what this workplace.

Speaker 2 (18:23):
Is interesting are in They're probably an RN.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
It's been happening since I got there.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
Got a fashion place, or they teach kids how to
do gymnastics?

Speaker 1 (18:31):
Where are you getting these?

Speaker 2 (18:32):
Or hear me out they're a tutor.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
I told them early that morning that I wanted to
tell them some good news that had finally come my way.
They set aside time to talk to me. When I
arrived to talk to them, it was just us there.
They were finishing their work, and when they were finally done,
they asked me what the big news was. I cannot
make this up. At this exact moment, several other women

(18:56):
came in and interrupted my conversation with them. What the
heck may He told them that I just needed a
quick word with her and Alan, but one of my
coworkers said I could wait because they had an appointment
to get to. They only talked about work related stuff.
But five minutes goes by, then another five, and then
another and another. Soon I had been standing there for
thirty minutes. Mary, I think, could see I was getting mad,

(19:19):
and she said she was going to talk to me briefly,
but another coworker interrupted and said she needed to talk
real quick. What is this workplace where you can only
like have like one person talk.

Speaker 2 (19:28):
Dude, are in teachers so many possibilities.

Speaker 1 (19:32):
I feel like you can have a small conversation on
the side and like, guys, I'm having a kid.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yeah, oh oh my god.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
Potentially I just want trying to think of like what
can seclude multiple people talking, yeah, or like having small
conversations in like a workplace. She turned to me and said,
you don't mind, do you? And before I could answer,
she proceeded to start her conversation. Why are they so mean?
Are they because she's a minority?

Speaker 2 (19:53):
Minority?

Speaker 3 (19:54):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (19:55):
Because she like, they don't have many minorities there too,
so maybe that has to do some time. So I
remember what Frank said again, Frank is her husband, And
I did something I didn't think I would do. I
blurted it out. I announced that I was pregnant. Everyone
there froze for a second, but Mary and Allen then
congratulated me and asked for how far along I was,

(20:17):
and all the tiple questions of pregnant women get asked.
They were the only ones happy for me. I told
Frank what I did, and he said he was proud
of me for allowing myself to have good news. Let's
go the good news you do op sounds like a
religious thing. You need the good news. This morning, though,
I came into a really chilly office. It got around
that I announced my pregnancy in Mary's office, and the

(20:39):
rumor is that I did it on purpose because several
of the women I know of, at least three of
the seven or eight that were there, were struggling with infertility.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Yeah, that's of course why she was doing it to
rub an inn y'all's nose.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
This.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
Actually, she's not even pregnant. She just wanted to piss
you guys off.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
Yeah, honestly, screw you guys. I'm out of here. She's
literally leaving because they're like, oh, yeah, you're just training someone.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
To be replaced.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
Mary told me this was going around, and she knew
it wasn't true, but she wanted me to know.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
W Mary.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
About an hour ago, I went to get coffee and
one of my coworkers, who is struggling with infertility, started
talking to me. She was being nice at first, but
she isn't someone who has ever spoken to me before. FYI.
There were other coworkers there too, some who have infertility
issues and others who don't, but none are my friends.
So this coworker asked me in front of everyone, so,

(21:30):
how do you plan to pay for everything without a job?
Babies are expensive?

Speaker 2 (21:35):
What do you mean? What do you mean by that?

Speaker 1 (21:38):
You know what isn't expensive? Joining us live on YouTube
every weekday at three pm PSD. Just have our profile.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yeah, that's why I would go to HR and that
if they're going to fire me, I would be like,
all right, I'm done, assuming you guys, that's like the
practical thing. Why are we laughing?

Speaker 1 (21:50):
I would actually confront all these women and be like,
what what's your problem with me? Obviously go to HR.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
It's not that, it's what do you mean, I'm not
going to have a job. I don't think at this
point they know that they're training someone to get to
hire them.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
Apparently she knows, though I don't.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
Think at this point. I think she was told earlier
and it was like this is for context, keep it
up for later.

Speaker 1 (22:08):
This is just a toxic workplace that I don't know
why she didn't go to HR at the very beginning,
besides the oh the baby thing or like how are
you gonna get this if you don't have a job,
I would have been like, why is everyone being so
toxic in this workplace, especially to me. Hr should have
been a thing in the very beginning. But again, she's
a minority. That is a hurdle one. But I just
don't understand all the hatred towards her that she's not

(22:29):
rubbing it in now she is. It was well deserved.
No one laughed or anything, but it was clear everyone
was waiting for an answer. This is my response, verbatim.
When your dad's a millionaire, anything's possible, and I left
he is. By the way, that wasn't a lie. My
parents are living in a very nice retirement right now
because of how they handle their finances. Four oh one

(22:50):
K's and Roth's, Frank and Alan support me. But Mary
thinks that last comment was a little too far and
sounded Braddy, but she also understood why I said it.
But since then, it's obvious no one is willing to
work with me or talk to me. I've asked for
some things and I'm getting the cold shoulder, but I
want to be happy about something. I need to be

(23:11):
happy about something, and I only have six more weeks
left here. Anyway, am I the ahole? No?

Speaker 2 (23:17):
I don't think you are. They were really pushing it
and they've been pushing it for a while and they
push you over the edd You just had the best
clap back, and they're pissed about it.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
They're really upset. The workplace was already toxic enough, and
I guess you still need the job per se. The
last thing you want to do is make your last
couple months at work even more of a living hell,
which it already is. So it kind of is like
you got the last like laugh, but now you're gonna
be laughing or be laughless at this workplace for the

(23:46):
next two months, which is going to be even worse. Like, yes,
you have a couple of friends, great, but one no
one respected you at the very beginning. Now people kind
of have like a target on your back or like, oh,
that's the girl who's like mocking us. I don't think
you're the a but it just wasn't a smart thing
to do if he went to HR and like, because
it just takes time for everything to get proceded.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
But you did shut them up.

Speaker 1 (24:07):
You should be happy about you shut them the hell up. Great,
but now it's used to be a very quiet two
weeks or two months, I mean, so you're not the
a hole but I think you should take a little
bit more precaution of what was said at the workplace.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
I think you're good. They broke you and that's how
you responded, and they're just pissed that they don't have
a better clap back.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
My old coworker said my swimwear is inappropriate, so I
told her off.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
Oh, it's because you don't look hot in your stuff.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
I look in fine right now. I twenty six female,
work for an amazing small engineering company, but have always
had an issue with a woman named Cheryl Cheryl. Cheryl
Cheryl is a holdover office manager from when the current
owner's dad founded the company, and the company is her
queendom nepotism. We love nepo babies, by the way. This

(24:57):
comes from user daf dad DM on the are slash
Okay storytime sub reddit. So I actually feel very sorry
for her because she's divorced, her kids don't speak with her,
and I think the company's the only thing that she
has going on in her life. She's like a grandma
to the current owner, but he has admitted that he
can't wait until she retires because she is overbearing with

(25:19):
him too. The company had an amazing year, and our
owner decided that we were essentially going to shut down
for the month of June and he was going to
host an optional retreat in Mexico where he would pay
for all food, drinks, and accommodations, but we had to
pay for our own plane ticket done. When I found
out Cheryl was not planning on going, I could not
sign up fast enough. I flew down with a friend

(25:41):
slash coworker, and the second we got our bags put
it away, it was bikinis on and straight to the
swim up bar. On the way down the hallway, we
ran smack into Cheryl. We tried to be pleasant, but
she looked me up and down like I was dressed
like a street walker, and she looked so disgusted. She
was just jealous. My friend and I walked along, smirking

(26:01):
that we weren't in the queendom and made jokes about
finding Cheryl a nice man so she'd either get spicy
sleep or By the time we got to the pool,
Cheryl has sent out a group text reminding us that
we were on a work trip and we should choose
our outfits to reflect the prestige of the company paying
for the trip. We could not stop laughing, and we
agreed that our best bet was to avoid Cheryl for

(26:24):
the week. When we were on our way back to
the room, Cheryl intercepted us in the hallway. She seriously
must have been staring out her people waiting on us,
and she said that when she sent the group text,
she meant that I should change out of that immediately,
she said, while pointing basically at my butt. Nice I said,
I was sorry, Cheryl, but this isn't a work trip,

(26:44):
and mike bikini was totally appropriate for the resort. She said,
we are a company founded on Christian principles and we
should dress as such. I suck so bad at confrontation,
and this was one of those things where five minutes
after I had a million witty things to say, but
all I could come up with was that I will
wear a sarong in the hotel. But this is all

(27:04):
I brought for the pool and beach. She said, you
get paid well enough, go buy something more appropriate. The
get paid enough comment made me see red because that
is so none of her business. And I worked my
butt off through a male dominant field and crap jobs,
and took a huge risk to work for a small
company because I wanted a job that cared about me.

(27:26):
I told her, Cheryl, I hate confrontation, but you can
go after yourself. That was so out of line.

Speaker 3 (27:32):
WHOA all right?

Speaker 1 (27:34):
For the first time since I've met Cheryl, she was
actually speechless and just turned around and went in her
room and closed the door because probably no one ever
told her off, and it's in her queendom. Yeah, whole
life in her queendom. No one's gonna tell Cheryl to
shut up. My friend thought it was the funniest thing
she'd ever seen and said she was so proud of
me for sticking up for myself. Initially I felt good

(27:55):
about it too, but ever since yesterday, I am just
wrecked with guilt and I feel like a major a hole.
I feel like there were a million other ways I
could have handled it, and I should have not let
Cheryl see that she upset me. She's a very lonely person,
and though I don't like her, I don't need to
say such cool things to her. I feel like an
a hole? Am I the a hole? There is an edito?

Speaker 2 (28:18):
I don't think you should put that she's a very
lonely person and stuff on you. It's understandable why you
feel guilty. Honestly, I'd say you could have handled it
a little bit better. She came up on you, she
did attack you.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Cheryl is definitely being out of line.

Speaker 2 (28:32):
Yeah, it was good of you to confront her. Better
word choice.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
Better word choice, But again, I think you're just so
many emotions that are going through your head. Yeah you
can't think I get it.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
If we could rewind and do it over again, we could.
But if we can't rewind.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
I do think a confrontation and an apology from op
to Like Cheryl, listen, I didn't mean to like that
was out of line, but again, you were out of line.
Oh yeah, so I'm sorry. Let's let bygones be bygones.
Yeah yeah, Like, let's enjoy the strip. The last thing
you want to do is be upset in a Mexico Yeah,
come on. Edit for the people asking, my swimsuit was
from a company called Coco Lobo. They really only make

(29:08):
one style, and I guess it's probably best described as
cheeky and not really a thong, but they do have
a tendency to ride up the butt since I have
wider hips. Yes, my cheeks were visible, but it was
far from dental floss. So yeah, you were wearing a
swimsuit and maybe you just have a nice butt ANDed
it too. Wow, people are really focused on the swim
where I do have picks up the swimsuit on me

(29:29):
when I was doubing with my family last weekend on
my Instagram. But not sure if that's safe to send
out on a link. No, never do that. This is
my first ever post on a sub like this, so
I guess can I get some input on that?

Speaker 2 (29:40):
If anyone's wondering what it is, look it up on
yourself like.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
You just did it and it was pretty straightforward. Yeah, no,
it's cute. Again, if you got cheeks, it will make
your cheeks look nice. I probably will look so good
at that. Also, my friend actually had on a one piece,
but it's a full on thong. Very cute on her,
but she did get the same look from Cheryl because
she had to cover up on her bottom when we

(30:06):
were in the hotel, so she had a towel on. Okay.
Edit three, I had zero idea this would blow up
the way it did, and I had no idea this
would get so much Internet stark. Please keep in mind
I tried to post this. Originally on the other am,
I the a whole sub but they have a word limit,
so I had to come up with some word economy,
and even then didn't make it. So I posted here

(30:28):
some of the things I wish I could have included
in the original. This is not a work trip. In fact,
the evite said specifically it's not a work trip. It's
tangible bonus for a job well done this year. There
is no mention of a dress code, and I am
dressed well in line with other women at the resort.
In fact, some are way more scantily dressed than me.
The resort is huge, and I would guess there are

(30:48):
probably two thousand plus guest total. I think maybe ten
people from our office are coming, plus some families and kids.
There are no dinners, events, meetings, hangouts, or obligations, So
no way could this be considered a work.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
Trip because I thought it was like my other thought
process small company. She's probably like some of you there.
It's a small resort. You guys are like, oh, we're
going to get dinner this day.

Speaker 1 (31:10):
I feel like maybe on the evite it was like, oh,
if you guys want to do a dinner, let's do
a dinner, but like, like.

Speaker 2 (31:15):
You can get lost in the resort and no one
would probably see you for a week.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yeah, okay, great, this is for you guys doing a
job well done. It's on the company. It's on the boss,
and it's like not sponsored by the company. It's like,
if you want to go, just pay for your ticket,
have fun. You deserve it.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
Yeah hmmm, interesting she specifically targeting you as well instead
of the friend.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
Another point I wish I could have been more clear
about the company closing for the month. We aren't closed,
but have no projects due until mid July, and we
all have the option to work from home, take time
for graduations and vacations. This hasn't happened in the three
years I've been here, and I don't think it will
happen again. But it's been really nice. The trip to
Mexico is also not a month long. It's up to

(31:55):
a week, so not around yesterday to Saturday. But you
know what you can do seven days a week. You
can join us live three pm PSC just type our profile.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
Just happened, Yeah, Cheryl, come on, girl, you're a little alone.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
The fact that this is not stamped like this is
a work trip it's like, no, this is a trip
paid for by work. Yeah, that's what all it is.
You guys did a job, well done, Go have fun.
I think Cheryl needs to again, Opie said, mind her
own business. But again, the way you went about it
with Cheryl, like I said, let bygones, be bygones and apologize.
Even the manager or the boss or whatever of the

(32:29):
company was like, I can't wait for her to go.
Oh man, because Cheryl is just like so everbearing. Oh boy,
just yeah, she's an older woman and doesn't have you know,
and he seems like not many friends or doesn't do much.
So I get it. She's just a little like on
the line of just like, let's do this, let's do this.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
So I just think you're not the a hole. Opie
would just be like, hey, let's talk this out. I
am not a mean high schooler. I'm actually very, very
shy and bookish. I am probably considered pretty, but it
took me a long time to see myself as such.
I was a swimmer in high school, and it took
me years, well after college in fact, to even try
on a bikini. I decided last year I liked the

(33:06):
cheeky look because it's probably more common than not where
we go tubing on the weekends. The part about getting
Cheryl spicy sleep or kidnapped was a total joke, and
we meant no harm. It was only between the two
of us. It really surprises me people are so hung
up on that, and I find it hard to believe
that most of everyone hasn't made a similar sort of

(33:28):
joke about a frustrating co worker. I say this about
Riley all the time. If you haven't, I guess that's good.
Gallo's humor is huge in the engineering field, and I
deal with jokes along those lines all day at work.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
That is it nice? Yeah, hopefully your trip is funner
and you don't have to worry about Cheryl and Cheryl
gets loose.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
I think Cheryl needs to get loose. Cheryl definitely is.
She's there.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
I'm pro getting laid for Cheryl.

Speaker 1 (33:53):
Oh yeah, help. I think I would go up to
Cheryl'm like, hey, Cheryl, listen, we're in Mexico. Let's get
you la you girlfriend, Let's get you some spicy sleep.
Let's have some fun. If she's not like that, like
all right, then we're going to go have fun. You
do your own thing. We won't bother you. You won't
bother us.

Speaker 3 (34:07):
There we go.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
It's a big resort, easy money. You're in Mexico. Come on,
come on, guys, let loose. But that's the end of story.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
Guys, so if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

Speaker 1 (34:17):
We love you and see you tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (34:20):
My family is upset with me for trying to change
my name. It's my name, y'all, word out. I gotta
get a new one, change it to mc lovin. When
my son got back from a New Year's party today,
he asked for a talk. We sat down and he said,
with a new year, he's changing his name to something
completely different to what his name is currently. By the way,

(34:41):
this comes from name change throwaway on the R Size Okay, storytime,
subbur so for some context. His name has been passed
down for several generations in the family. I'm the sixth,
he is the seventh. It really meant a lot to
me that I was able to continue the tradition with him.
I was hoping he would continue the tradition with his
own children. When I brought it up with him, he

(35:03):
said he has always hoped that he has daughters, just
did not have to pass the name on. He has
a little bit of a complicated.

Speaker 3 (35:11):
Yeah, you know what, And that's what happens when you
set expectations, You're setting yourself up for disappointment.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
As we talked, he said he's always hated having the
same name as someone else and wanted to pick something new.
I just don't get it. Having the family name has
always made me feel more connected to the family and
its history. Now I'm left heartbroken and he wants this.
Is there anything I can do to say to him

(35:38):
or way I can approach him with this. I know
I can't stop him from finally the paperwork, but the
fact that he wants to change his name is very upsetting.
And by the way, he's also twenty years old.

Speaker 3 (35:49):
You just gotta have a heart to heart. The hearder
you try to tell him that he can't do it,
the more it's gonna backfire. Oh yeah, do it.

Speaker 2 (35:57):
Oh yeah. I've always hated my name. I was named
after my dad and he was after his own, et cetera.
For eight generations, we all have exact same name, first, middle,
and last. Growing up, I hated it being called junior,
and now it's a pain because all our male keeps
getting mixed up, and because you'll never really know who's

(36:18):
being addressed to when Dad, Granddad, and I are all
in the same room.

Speaker 3 (36:22):
I mean, that's fair, first, middle last.

Speaker 2 (36:24):
On top of all of that, there is a part
of me that feels like I have no identity in
a way. I feel like I was just born to
fill a quota or just be a link in the chain,
and not because I actually was desired as a person.
I hope that makes sense. I know now for sure
that I'm supposed to carry on the tradition, but there's

(36:45):
no way I will. I actually do want kids someday,
but if I have a boy, he's sure as heck
is getting his own name. That's that's pretty fair.

Speaker 3 (36:54):
By the time you're in your twenties, you have the
agency like you can. Yeah, you're allowed to do whatever
you want.

Speaker 2 (37:01):
But honestly, I want my own name. I have looked
into having my name changed legally, and when my parents
found out, they were pissed. I kept getting inundated with
comments either in person or text, of how can you
turn your back on our family like this. I kept
being told that I'm being disrespectful to all the namesakes

(37:22):
that came before me. My only problem is no one
can tell me a single thing about them other than
their names being the same as mine. No one has
any information about them or their lives. So it just
strikes me as a complete hollow argument. Yeah, if it
was like a dope name, like I'm Michael Jordan the
third and you're also a really great basketball player.

Speaker 3 (37:44):
Well I think I think they're just get it speaking
to the point of it's like, it's just the same name.
Like nobody's like, yeah, and he built the courthouse and
he did that, and it's just Nope, this is just
the same name that we've always had, and that's what
we always do. And if you don't give your kids
this name, think of Think of all if your ancestors
who are not alive, who will be upset about.

Speaker 2 (38:03):
The face you're gonna give them.

Speaker 3 (38:05):
All these ancestors whose we don't know anything that they did,
but we know what their name.

Speaker 2 (38:09):
Is, their name, we know their first, middle last name.
And I've tried to be as rational as I can
about this. Honestly, I've been approached by my parents and
said that I'm willing to work with them to pick
a new name for myself so they can still have
the role of having named me, but they won't budge
And am I wrong for feeling this way? I just
hate being the next link in the chain. On top

(38:31):
of that, feeling that the names are for my own
children are being predetermined rather than being left to me
and my hypothetical future wife. Can I do anything to
keep the peace regardless? I am still determined to change
my own name. I just don't want to cause a
huge family rift, can I do?

Speaker 3 (38:52):
I think you you sit them down, yep, and you
have the conversation of all right, tell me what some
of our ancestors have done. Yeah, do we really even
care about them? Yeah? Because it sounds like we don't.
And since we don't, I want to name my kids
something else.

Speaker 4 (39:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:06):
And I want a different name too, because what are
we even doing this for at this point, we don't
even remember anything about these people here?

Speaker 2 (39:13):
We do have an update, so kind of a strange update.
In my original thread, uh you, dragonfly type pointed out
that there was a threaft that was similar, but from
the other perspective, or a thread thread. Oh, so I
think it was from their dad. They found the thread
from their dad. Oh, that was the first one. This
is the second one, and now we're getting into uh

(39:35):
the sun op, not the Dad op. I checked it
out and it was eerily similar to my situation from
what OP said in the remaining comments. I asked my
dad about it, and it turns out that he actually
did post about it. Some minor things didn't match up.
We both changed a couple of minor details to preserve anatomy,
but he kind of gave away that he said my

(39:55):
name in the comments anonymity. I wonder what that name was.
So the update, everyone is still pretty upset about it.
My dad has been sulking a lot about it. He's
still struggling with the idea that he's going to be
the last of his names. And here is what I
was thinking, that your father's name meant his last name,
not the whole thing. My brother, who is more like

(40:17):
my dad than I am, is mad.

Speaker 4 (40:20):
He's got a brother.

Speaker 3 (40:20):
He's got a brother, so can't the brother.

Speaker 4 (40:22):
Continue the name?

Speaker 3 (40:23):
Why is this even that big? What are we talking about?

Speaker 2 (40:28):
I think he does like the tradition, and his pissed
that I came first, so he's mad at me too.
Dad called my granddad and he's on his side. Too.
Mom has been more quiet. She's really conflict avoiding, and
I think that this might be why she agreed to
the name in the first place. So it's been a
rough but more than anything, it's been strengthening my resolve.
No one has talked to me about my feelings, just

(40:51):
how I'm turning my back on the family legacy. All
I could do at this point is to point out
to them is that their arguments are exactly what I
was talking about. They're making me feel like I am
nothing more than a vessel to carry the name on
rather than someone who was a desired as a person.
They got a little heated when my dad and grandpa
and brother had an introvervention of sorts with me about it.

(41:15):
I was pissed and told them straight up that the
tradition is dead.

Speaker 3 (41:19):
It's done. The tradition is God just done. I mean,
they are really sitting out that they're acting like this
is like a like they're like the king, and they're like,
you don't understand. You have to pass on the lineage
of the firstborn. You're next in line for the throne.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
Because it is like a respectful thing.

Speaker 3 (41:37):
I think still though, op needs to be like, show
me why we're keeping this name. Give me some receipts.
I'm like, what are because apparently all he's gotten is like,
I mean, we know they existed. We don't know what
they did, but we know that they were. What if
you don't want this name? What if somewhere down the line,

(41:57):
someone with this name did some something really bad? Yeah,
and you just don't know about it. That's why they
don't know. They've all been scrubbed from history.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
It's all been scubbed from history, and the only way
to remember the name is to keep passing it down.

Speaker 3 (42:10):
Yeah, you might be actually breaking like a long curse
that the family doesn't even know about. You guys got
tricked by a witch.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
You can either have this decision with me now and
a loan, or in a few years when I have
a pregnant partner and they can have us both on
at once. I would never want to put this pressure
on GF or wife, especially while she's pregnant. That part
of why I think it is important to do it now.
After their total lack of support and the offer to

(42:41):
work with my parents on picking out a new name
together is off the table.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
I've made a.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
Decision on my own and I love my new name.
My friends are cool with it, and I've given my
family one month grace. At the end of February, I
will correct them every time and it will last two months.
After that, I will refuse to respond they called me
by my former name. The paperwork is filed to make
it legal, so I think it's going well overall. Also overall,

(43:08):
we go live every weekday at three PMPSD just to
have a profile.

Speaker 3 (43:12):
I think at the end of the day, you gotta
do what's best for you. And if you really don't
like this name, and you feel like your own agency
has been sort of removed from you, like you're just
this vessel to carry on legally, you can always change
it back. Right If you realize that this is actually
going to completely erode and tear down your whole family life,

(43:37):
and you find that that's not worth having your new name,
you can always change it back.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
Picking out my new name obviously caused its own problem.
As I've told my dad, I got immediate response that
that's too modern. Why are you giving up a name
with a storecor integrity for something so new. Brother again
was pissed that I followed through with it the name
is dead. I actually don't think either name I've picked

(44:02):
out or myself is particularly modern, but they are probably
a bit newer than William. We have the name now
it's William, So that's kind of where we are now.
My family is now pissed with me, but I'm holding
my own. I've got a new name, which I absolutely love,
and I'm in the process of a legal name change. Nah,

(44:22):
that's that's good. I think you know, you're twenty, This
is a good age to do it, and you have
like some pretty good like legal reasonings to how to
change your name.

Speaker 3 (44:32):
And also your family's allowed to be mad at you
about it. Oh yeah, and you're also allowed to deal
with that however you decide. And that's the wonderful world
of personal choice that we all live within. I refused
to confront my brother after he got cheated on. Why
is that? What do you mean by that? Hmmm? About

(44:53):
nine years ago, my brother's wife left him for another man.
A did is she was cheating on him. All that
my brother was devastated. They had married very young, and
I was always against that. I had my brother in
my apartment for months. By the way, this comes from
user East sixteen seventy four on the a slash Okay
story Time subburd it So he'd fallen to a severe depression,

(45:18):
and I was the one who paid for his psychologist
since he didn't have the money and even lost his
job because he didn't even want to move from the
couch to the bathtub. I even gave him a bath
at some point. What I love this man?

Speaker 2 (45:32):
Oh my god, I.

Speaker 3 (45:33):
Bathed this man. I loved my brother.

Speaker 2 (45:36):
And he could go through a lot of hard things,
but he his arms are gonna have to not work
for me to give him bath.

Speaker 3 (45:42):
I wasn't bothered by that. I did everything for my brother.
She just left and blocked him from everywhere. Oh. She
simply confessed to him that she had been cheating on
him for a year and that she was in love
with that man.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
Oh boy, oh boy.

Speaker 3 (45:56):
That's gotta hurt. No. Four years after after that, when
my brother was finally starting to feel better, she reappeared
in everyone's life. Oh great time. Yeah, oh yeah. The
worst person ever's back was. He just got back from
feeling good.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
This is ah again.

Speaker 3 (46:14):
Uh, this the typical thing happened. She and her lover
were no longer together and she had begun to receive
psychological help and change completely. She felt regretful, she was
really sorry, et cetera. I told my brother all the
time to cut off contact with her for the sake
of his mental health. He didn't. I always had a

(46:37):
bad feeling and I could smell the crap from afar.
He started to justify her past actions all the time
by saying that she changed. They were too young, she
was having problems, ah blah blah, blah blah blah. And
he got angry when I told him that she's still
a b.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
Dude, this happened four years ago, and he's gonna take
her back.

Speaker 3 (47:02):
I mean, hey, four years is enough time to let go,
right right right.

Speaker 2 (47:07):
That's a presidential cycle. We get a new president. Usually
after four years, new president, old relationship.

Speaker 3 (47:13):
That's how that works. Every time there's a new president,
you get back with your et. So shortly after that,
they got back together, and my brother cut off all
contact with me because I didn't accept their relationship and
he didn't want anyone to come between them. I told
him to f off and that we we don't talk anymore.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
What the heck? Wow, dude, Okay, this guy's not thinking
with the right head.

Speaker 3 (47:39):
I mean, yeah, you can't. Yeah, yeah, I couldn't think
of a single thing, not at all. I couldn't. Just
you gotta move on from somebody who does this stuff
to you.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
Dude, especially to the point where your brother had to
bather with you.

Speaker 3 (47:51):
Now, my brother has reappeared at my house after years
without him wanting to talk to me, only to tell
me that his wife cheated on him again, but this
time they have children. Oh boy, he tried to tell you, Oh, Pete,
tried to tell you this was gonna happen, dude, and
you didn't listen.

Speaker 2 (48:10):
You know, whenever you read a book, you're gonna get
the same ending, even if you read it again.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (48:15):
Yeah, the ending didn't change. The ending did not change.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (48:21):
Okay. In the past, I would have let him in.
I would have hugged him into everything. But he has
been gone for years without even inviting me to meet
his children, and he has not even spoken to me
or congratulate me on my marriage or on my pregnancy.
I even invited him to my wedding and he didn't come.

Speaker 2 (48:41):
Oh dude, so he just wow, contact all contacts.

Speaker 3 (48:44):
Yeah, well, he didn't go to your wedding because he
was too busy being a simp for his wife that
was cheated on he is, Yeah, he was too busy
standing up for the woman who was cheating on him.
H yep, yep. I told him that at this moment,
I can't let him be in my house, which is
actually true, because I can't have that kind of stress.

(49:07):
He told me that we are siblings and he needs me,
but I told him that I needed him too, but
he was never there because he cut me off for
that woman. We had an argument and my husband ended
up kicking him out because I was already crying. He's
staying with our parents now, and my mother just tells
me it's not the time to hold a grudge against him,
and he needs me. But I can't forget how he

(49:28):
didn't think twice before cutting off all contact with me
for her.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
I stand by this. You were there for your brother
in his worst moment, and he couldn't be there for
you in your best moments because he was too distracted.
I stand by it. Yeah, it sucks. I wouldn't completely
completely cut him off. I would be like, hey, I'm
not taking you in. I love you. Let's start rebuilding
it a little bit more.

Speaker 3 (49:52):
That's probably the best way to approach it is not.
But I'm not bathing you man, not being like a
get out of here, like you're unwanted, but being like, hey,
they would be great if you could come into my
house right now, but you really can't because we've become
estranged and if we want to rebuild that relationship, we
can't start at I'm now taking care of you again. Yeah,
we have to start somewhere else. Update. I've spoken to

(50:15):
my mother because she kept trying to persuade me to
talk to my brother. She came to see me since
I can't move too much. She basically told me that
my brother is very sorry, and I told her that
he should tell me and not her, But my mother
replied that my brother is too embarrassed about his actions.
I told her that I'm not going to let her

(50:35):
be any kind of mediator, and my brother is old
enough to speak for himself. I know he was sending
her to insist that I talk back to him, but
my brother is an adult and can speak for himself. Yes,
he certainly should be.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
Oh yeah, for sure.

Speaker 3 (50:53):
That being said, two days ago, my brother came to
my house to talk about everything. He told me something
that I always knew, which is that he never got
over his ex wife and he was always totally blind
for her. Really, don't say.

Speaker 2 (51:12):
I can tell.

Speaker 3 (51:15):
I'd be pretty embarrassed about that too. Yeah, he believed
that all of us who were against him coming back
to her were toxic and he should cut us out
of his life because we were an obstacle that didn't
believe people could change. So that's what he did with me.
He blocked me out of his life. Oh boy. He

(51:36):
said that he feels ashamed of himself for having been
so blind since she cheated on him. Again, I never
told him I told you so, Nor am I going
to because he already knows that. Yeah, there were many
people worried about whether their children were his, but I
can assure everyone that they are. They look identical to him,
and luckily she was maybe faithful at that time. Anyway,

(52:00):
after talking, he apologized to me and told me that
he needs me. But I told him the same thing
as that day. I needed him to and he was
never there. I forgive him for everything, but that doesn't
mean that I want to go back to everything being
like it was before. Because I don't want to put
myself in that situation again.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
I don't want to bathe you again.

Speaker 3 (52:22):
I don't want to be your your bather, no matter
how rough it gets.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
Look, I'm not doing it again.

Speaker 3 (52:29):
Okay, man, you're talking to somebody who was at one
point your bather designated bather, and I can't go back.
I don't want everything to go back like before, because
I don't want to put myself in that situation again.
He didn't even tell me what he's gonna do with
his wife, and I don't want the situation to repeat. Well,
I hope what he's gonna do is leave her, for

(52:51):
God's sake.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
Leave her a few years for her to get better,
and then go back with Y.

Speaker 3 (52:56):
And we're gonna rinse and repeat, baby, rinse and repeat.
I never did anything expecting something in return, but it
did hurt me a lot that he turned his back
on me without thinking twice and only came back when
things got bad for him. I'd had invited him to
my wedding, maybe foolishly, believing that he would come, but

(53:17):
he didn't even do that. I even kept a seat
for him, thinking that he was maybe coming late. And
I really feel dumb for doing that. I told him,
I'm sorry, but I want things to continue as before,
since I got used to not having him in my
life and I don't trust that he won't use me
as a nurse and therapist anymore. At first, he didn't

(53:38):
understand and said that we're siblings and we should be united.
But when I told him that he forgot that for years,
he shut up. Yeah. Yeah, it's like we're supposed to
be united. Dude, you left, you left for years. I
was your bather bathe, I bathed you a grown man.
I bathed you out of love and show up to

(54:00):
my wedding and then you're not. You can't. You don't
get to play the card of we're siblings. Where you
united you left first. Yeah, it goes for your cheating
scoundrel wife that everybody told you not to take back.
You cut off your whole family for this woman who
cheated on you again. Wild And by the way, we
don't ever want you to cheat on us by not

(54:21):
joining us live on YouTube every weekday at three pm.
Just tap our profile and if you don't, we now
officially consider it adul tree. Yeah, just like that, you
have to be in the stream or you're cheating on
us exactly. I simply told him that I prefer to
continue without contact with him as before, and I've made
it clear to my mother that I want to spend

(54:42):
these months peacefully. Maybe some will call me cool and
say I should think about my family, but I'm not
going to let him treat me like she treated him,
and that is the end of that.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
Good riddance. I hate to see a broken relationship between brothers.

Speaker 3 (54:59):
I am a huge and sister brother and sister. Oh,
I think I might have made a mistake at the
beginning of the story where I gendered the op as
a male got it, got it your sister?

Speaker 2 (55:10):
Well, still, I hate to see a broken relationship between siblings. Yeah,
and ah, that's good. Good for you for stand your grounds.
That's huge.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (55:19):
I mean he left first, and it's definitely a situation
where he came back because now he needs something. And
I think maybe you could slowly let him back into
your life, but certainly not at a level that like
would be anywhere considered like back to normal, like it's
It would have to be a long process of rebuilding

(55:39):
the foundation of y'all's relationship. Yeah, because he broke up
that foundation. He took a jackhammer to it when he
took back his cheat gnassx wife.

Speaker 4 (55:47):
My wedding was perfect because none of my family showed up.
Oh what a twist twist. I, thirty female, and my
fiance thirty two male, have been planning our way wedding
for over a year. We're planning a small, intimate wedding
with only forty of the coolest people in town and
doesn't say that but h and no plus ones. We

(56:11):
are paying for everything and I'm even getting my brides
Bay makeup done at my expense. But with all of that,
this is where things start going south. First instance that
happened was my wedding dress shopping. My older sister was
my maid of honor. By the way, this comes from
No Cookie to nine seven seven on the Okay Storytime
subvered it. So I booked an appointment for David Bridle

(56:35):
and they called a day later to let me know
they were closing down the store, so I would need
to come this weekend. Also, Socrates, were you the one
who was talking about the weather, because thank you for
saying no, hey, I appreciate it. I have always pictured
my dress shopping experience that all my family would be
there and be happy for this special day as most
people do.

Speaker 3 (56:55):
Yeah, but it did not go like that.

Speaker 4 (56:58):
Once I received the car, I called my older sister
and let her know. I asked her if if she
could come on Sunday. She let me know she was
busy that day. Bummer. I asked about Saturday and she
said it was perfect because she had no plans. Saturday
rolls around and I'm super excited, thinking my whole family
is going. I called my older sister. She says, Ooh,

(57:20):
I don't know if I'm gonna be able to get
everyone because I have a bunch of things to do.
Maybe brunches. My friend's kid's birthday party is today. I
was pissed because she didn't say this the other day.
I didn't say anything, it just asked if I pushed
the time back, will you be able to bring bring
some She basically said, I'll see what I can do.

(57:41):
So the time of my appointment starts to roll around.
Me and my cousin and dad show up at the store.
My older sister isn't answering, and at this point I'm
trying to stall. I end up spending three hours in
the store. At this point, my older sister nor my
other family are not here. That's a double negative.

Speaker 3 (57:59):
Yeah, nor her family are no are so they're all there.

Speaker 4 (58:04):
I start trying on dresses and I finally find the
perfect dress. After that, I call my sister one last time,
one more. She is walking in the store. As she
comes in, I let her know I found the perfect dress.
She's like, well, this was a waste of my time.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
I shouldn't have even come there.

Speaker 3 (58:24):
Like walking, you tell me it's over, and it's like, you're.

Speaker 4 (58:28):
Late, you are late, you missed it all. Also, she's like,
oh my god. She like comes the sister walks in.
She's like, Sis, look I found the perfect dress. And
the sister's like, wow, great, there goes my day.

Speaker 3 (58:44):
I guess maybe she's being supportive. She's agreeing. She's like,
you did find the perfect dress.

Speaker 4 (58:50):
I'm here for At this point, she didn't have my
mother or my other family. I've been in the store
for nearly four hours. I was beyond annoyed, but didn't
say anything. I was like, I'm sorry you feel that way,
and left. Days go by. I'm starting to send out invitations.
I stopped by my grandma's house to hand her an invite.
She's asking where other invitations are for her side of

(59:13):
the family. Small context about my grandma and I. We
were never close. I don't know her side of the family,
so I was a bit confused because the wedding is
for immediate family. As I explained to her, she catches
an attitude and says she wants one invite so her
cousin can come. I let her know that if someone cancels,
I'll give her an invite. She gets more upset says, well,

(59:35):
if I can't get another invitation, I'm not going. At
this point, I got upset and said don't come and
walked out.

Speaker 3 (59:42):
Yeah that's what you do. You say, Oh, guess what,
you don't have an invitation anymore, so.

Speaker 4 (59:49):
Someone else is getting a blessed one. You don't get
this one anymore.

Speaker 3 (59:52):
One invitation to zero invitations, So have fun with that.

Speaker 4 (59:56):
Bye bye. A few hours go by, my their sister
calls me screaming, saying I'm wrong, and then I need
to invite who grandma wants. If not her kids in
her will not be a part of the wedding. I
was a beyond mad because she knew everyone I was
inviting now she's acting like I'm in the wrong. I
basically say I will figure it out because I want
all of my family to be a part of it.

(01:00:17):
So two people end up saying they're not coming. I
give my grandma two invites, even though she only asks
for one. But I was being generous. Oh he's being
strong armed into all this. So with the invitations, there's
no plus one, only one invite for one person because
we can only have forty people. As the weeks go by,
my grandma kept asking if anyone canceled, even my fiance,

(01:00:41):
and I explained several times, you know, if anyone cancels,
we'll let you know. So it was a week before
my birthday. I'm on the phone with my older sister.
She's at my grandma's house trying on her bridle dress.
As I'm talking to my sister, my grandma hops on
the phone to ask if I received the invitation from
the people she invited. I say, I received one. She
states she invited her cousin and a married couple. I'm

(01:01:04):
a bit confused because I only gave her two invites.
I say, what are you talking about? She repeats, And
at this point I'm pissed because everyone has RSVP'd already.
If she wanted the married couple to come, she should
have used the two I gave her to invite them.
I felt like she didn't care about my feelings. I
was fed up, expressed how selfish she was being. My

(01:01:27):
sister gets back on the call to tell me she
is tired of my effing wedding, her and her kids
won't be coming and hung up. I was over it,
so I blocked everyone. The next day, my sister trying
to call, but I'm not trying to hear it. Why
are they so? Why is it so important that the
grandma's friend the cousins come.

Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
Yeah, this this feels like we're missing some contact in
the dynamic. And I feel like it's like this really
intense matriarchy of like the grand.

Speaker 4 (01:01:52):
Grandma, you must be like grandmama.

Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
If you don't do what Grandma says, you're one. She's
gonna make everybody life miserable, which is why then everyone
immediately is conditioned to go to Grandma says, because we
don't want to deal with it, and you don't want
to deal with it, right, so's do it.

Speaker 4 (01:02:09):
And also the fact that Ope gave her two extra tickets, yeah,
or two extra invites already, It'll be fine. And then
the girl was like, I need another one. I knew
another one and she was like, okay, well no one's
dropped at the wedding. And she's like, okay, well I
invited them anyway. So it's like, you can't do anything
if you can only have forty people. You can only
have forty people.

Speaker 3 (01:02:28):
My grandma would never do something like that.

Speaker 4 (01:02:30):
Toddter's grandma would never do something like shout out. The
next week, I called my dad to get his opinion
on the situation. I thought, maybe I'm overreacting. As I
speak to him on the phone, he says, and I quote,
I do not care about your feelings at this point.
I just want to know if you're allowing grandma to
invite who she wants. This is crazy. This is Opie's wedding.

Speaker 3 (01:02:52):
Yeah, it's like, I don't care about your wedding.

Speaker 4 (01:02:54):
I got upset, I said no. He hung up. It's
safe to say he's not coming. I cried, and I've
been up. I want to know if I'm in the
wrong in this situation. PS. It's been more drama with
my sister not being there through any of the wedding planning.
She only cares when it's about her and her kids.
My dad was not really in my life growing up
until I turned into an adult. I thought he would care.

(01:03:17):
I don't know what do you guys think. I'm sorry,
it's super long and there is an update.

Speaker 3 (01:03:23):
Oh boy, bull bully boy.

Speaker 4 (01:03:27):
Yeah, don't invite these people. The thing is that it's
not even you, like uninviting them, it's just them uninviting themselves.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
Yeah. They've already done the thing of like, well, if
you're not going to do this, then I'm not coming,
and that now it's your turn to be like, hey,
I didn't do that, So what happens next.

Speaker 4 (01:03:44):
Till you're end of the bargain?

Speaker 3 (01:03:45):
I guess I guess you're not coming.

Speaker 4 (01:03:46):
Huh bummer. Yeah, call everyone's bluff man. Don't let them
push you around, and this is your wedding Hugh update.
It's a week before the wedding. For three weeks. My
grandmother has been calling my phone. My little brother called
me today after talking to my sister, who is not
coming to the wedding, saying, my grandmother and my dad
are still coming. Oh would you look at well, well,

(01:04:09):
the grandma who caused all of the problems is still coming.
This is honestly, I think you know what the grandma did.
She was like, I'm gonna start this whole uprising, get
people to say I'm not coming to the wedding, and
then take the spots.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:04:23):
Yeah. So she's like, no, I can't invite my cousin.

Speaker 3 (01:04:25):
She's like, I have an idea.

Speaker 4 (01:04:28):
My grandmother and told her that she is not coming,
neither is my father or the people she invited. She
calls my sister and tells her. My little brother calls
me again, saying how pissed my sister was that I'm
doing this to my grandma that if she sees me,
she's gonna beat me up.

Speaker 3 (01:04:45):
What excuse me, it's my wedding.

Speaker 4 (01:04:47):
She's like, if I see you on the streets with
throwing hands. At this point, I'm just annoyed because they've
been harassing me for three weeks. My sister has been
having her kids try to call me and I I
haven't been answering. All I want to do is be
left alone. I'm going to let the venue know there's
going to be a cop there. I'll keep everyone posted

(01:05:08):
on how the actual wedding is. But all I want
is to have a peaceful wedding. I haven't talked to
these people in months, and they are still harassing me.
I let my brother know after today. I just don't
want to hear about them. And you can always hear
from us every weekday at three pm PSD if you
join us live just to have her profile.

Speaker 3 (01:05:27):
That's right.

Speaker 4 (01:05:27):
I think I've said what I've said, don't have them.

Speaker 3 (01:05:30):
Yeah, they suck. Exclude them like active way to exclude
them from the wedding. And I would also say, go
like low contact with them.

Speaker 4 (01:05:38):
I think so, Yeah, they really really suck. Update my
family didn't show. We had an amazing time and I'm
truly happy. WHOA, there we go. Yeah, the solution is
just to not invite any of your family.

Speaker 3 (01:05:51):
Oh when your family's toxic, don't vie their wedding, don't
invite the.

Speaker 4 (01:05:58):
What I am taking from this experience that everything happens
for a reason. I want to thank you guys, because
you guys help me get through it. So thank you.
You're welcome.

Speaker 3 (01:06:06):
You're welcome.

Speaker 4 (01:06:07):
Couldn't have done it without us. What can I say?

Speaker 3 (01:06:10):
Yeah, none of this stuff happened until we talked about it.

Speaker 4 (01:06:14):
None of this would have been possible without.

Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
So where do where do we put the family? Do we?
I think we put the family on the moon.

Speaker 4 (01:06:22):
I think the moon.

Speaker 3 (01:06:23):
I think they have a chance, right, yeah, no contact.
I think slowly they'll trickle in and be like, hey,
I really regret how I acted during your wedding. I
wish that we could have been there. I just had
the grandma brainwash. Yeah, the grandma poisoned mind. Yeah, poisoned
mind against you.

Speaker 4 (01:06:42):
I think they can come back if they if they
m h if they do it the right way, enjoy
some low gravity on the moon, take some steps on
the moon, put a flag up there, come back.

Speaker 3 (01:06:54):
More importantly, take some steps to be a better family member,
to opee, and then you can come back. And then
you can do a little, do a little, you know,
we'll go around the block and picky back up, which
in moontime takes what like a week and a half
to go back to Earth and come back. Take a
week week and a half on the moon. We'll have

(01:07:14):
you right