My dad’s AFFAIR BABY just showed up at our door… | Reddit Stories | EP2218 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam, this is John.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
We're the ancient two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we
have some ancient wisdom in the stories coming up. If
you want to hear the wisdom from two old heads
that know more than they know what to do with,
you're go'da have to wait for a quick message from
our sponsors for the next two minutes or so.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
My family abandoned the affair.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Baby it's just a little baby.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Oh yeah, I thirty five male, was at home with
my parents helping out with something. Mom and dad sixty
four male, were out when the doorbell rang. I opened
up and saw this really nervous woman twenty female standing there,
asking if my dad's name lived there. I said, yes,
he does, that's my dad, and she got even more nervous.

(00:43):
By the way, this comes from throw A twenty eight
twenty eight thirty two oh three to three, and if
you want to sumit your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay, Storytime separate it. So I asked if
she was okay. She was really nervous. Then I got
nervous and asked if something had happened to my uncle.
He had been ill for a while, and I thought
maybe she was a nurse or something, and she said, no,

(01:03):
it's not about that. I don't know why, but I
told her she could come in and wait since they
were due back in twenty minutes. She said yes and
asked if I could get her anything. He just said water.
I was really intrigued and wondered why she was so
nervous and why she wanted to see my dad. We
chitchatted for a bit and I heard the car pull up,

(01:24):
but Mom had apparently stayed behind with my aunt to
do something, and my dad came alone, which I would
be very thankful for. Within the next ten minutes, Dad
walked in and said, oh, am, I interrupting something. I said, no,
she's here to see you. Apparently, I told her she
could wait inside until you came home. My dad, being

(01:45):
the upbeat guy that he is, just asked what he
could do for and shook her hand. She introduced herself
and then asked if he knew a woman by the
name of Laura made up name. My dad rose. Then
she said, I think you may be my father.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
WHOA, that's out of no way.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
She just showed up. He had no clue.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
How did she know where you lived?

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Whoa. She probably did a little bit of research.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
You know, the old the old fashion with the yellow book.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Yeah, the yellow book, the yellow pages, yellow pages all that.
Dad sat down and looked at her. You're Laura's daughter,
She said, yes, and her mom had admitted to her
father that she was not his biological daughter and that
she was born as a result of an affair twenty
one years ago. I expected my dad to deny everything,
but he just went, oh, my god, Laura got pregnant

(02:40):
in check in.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
Come on, man, yeah, yeah, you had an affair. And
then you're like, all right, by yeah, there's no consequences
to that.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
No. He looked shell shocked. The woman then explained that
her mother had told her that dad. My dad could
not have known about it since she never told him.
Her parents' marriage had gone to hell apparently, and her dad,
who raised her, wants to divorce her mom after finding
out her entire life had exploded. Her parents had not
dealt with this well. My dad did not deny it

(03:08):
and said the timeline fit. Her mom had also said
that she had not been with anyone else besides my
dad and her husband. Paternity test taken the next day
would prove that she was indeed Dad's daughter. She had
two sisters as well, who were her dad's biological daughters.
After her dad demanded a paternity test. I was sitting
there in silence, just staring at Dad. I had been

(03:29):
an only child all my life, and now this woman's
sitting across from me at the table is my half sister,
little sister.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
No less.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
I knew this meant that Dad had cheated on Mom ooh,
which angered me, but I still felt so bad for
this poor woman and just told Dad I think we
better finish this conversation at my place before Mom gets here.
I said to Dad, you are going to tell Mom
about this, but not with her here. Yeah, don't like

(03:58):
surprise her with your a fair baby when you're like, yeah,
so I cheated on you.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
Proof we have family. Yeah, she has half of my looks.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
And none of yours. Whoops, I'd cheated on you. Oh wow.
That is a lot to take in. And poor Ope's
just like yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
Can you imagine, like wow, yeah, like new half sister.
Dad cheated on Mom. Yeah, And I just wanted to
have like lunch. Yeah, and I just I just got here,
like I just got here. I just got home. Home alone.
I was like, Oh, this is great. I'm gonna have
like a sandwich.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
Oh well, I was worried how my mom would react
to my little sister and did not want all hell
to break loose. They both agreed, and I told her
that she could stay at my place if she needed
somewhere to stay. How kind. Wow. I got in my
car and drove her to my place. She had traveled
quite a while by train and she lived on the
other side of the country. Meanwhile, my dad had told

(04:55):
my mom and admitted to everything. My mom was not happy, Yeah,
but she was actually more concerned for my half sister
and her family and all of this, and she told ordered,
most likely dad to take responsibility for this poor girl.
My dad just said yes. Dad and Mom came over

(05:15):
to my place and my half sister woke up. She
had been resting on my couch. I had never been
more scared to see my mom in my life. Mom
came in, just winked at me and kissed me on
the cheeks. She's taking this super well. My dad looked
like he had just had the biggest dressing down of
his life. Mom introduced herself to my half sister and

(05:36):
to my relief Mom was not upset with her at all.
This mom sounds great. I mean, why did he cheat
on her? Not that anyone should be cheated on, but
she sounds awesome.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
Well, it's one of those things you're like, there's no
point of getting upset now, I guess, I guess.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
So she totally would be in the.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
Right if she No. No, she's one hundred percent allowed
to be. But like, what is going to be yelling
and like throwing things and pointing the finger gonna do?
Now it's happened, it has happened twenty one years later.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
She just seems so chill about this.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
Yeah, it's crazy.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
My mom seemed more curious than anything else, and they
had a lot in common. Apparently, me and my dad
were confined to the kitchen during that conversation. Yes, my apartment,
but I did not want to argue with mom. Now.
My mom walked out twenty minutes later and just said
she's a lovely girl. She's so chill about this. Mom

(06:27):
and dad are not separating. My dad was relieved. Mom
had said to Dad, I'm too old to start dating,
and you're stuck with me now.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
Regardless, Mom's got jokes moms.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
She's like, yeah, you cheated on me, but I guess
I'm cool with it.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
Mom's chill auf. She's just like, all right, this is
life now, Okay.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Then girl, whatever floats your boat. Dad was relieved, and
Mom had demanded to know if there were others, and
my dad said no, not that he would know. Didn't
know about this one for twenty years.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
Yeah, whoops.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
Dad and I had been talking quite a lot. I'm
still aying with him for cheating. He knows that, but
he said if he's gonna spend the rest of his
life making it up to Mom, he would. My dad
also has answered every question my have sister asked of him,
and she I guess he's trying to find out who
she is. She loves her dad, who raised her, and
she told my dad she could never call him dad.

(07:18):
She loved her dad, and my dad understood that. She however,
asked if I was okay with her telling her friends
she had a brother. I said, that's fine. Not sure
why I was so accepting of this, but I just
felt like making sure she was okay. Somehow. I had
a long conversation with Mom as well. I was worried
if she was handling this as well as she showed.
And yeah she was pissed at Dad, but she also

(07:40):
felt horrible for the girl and her father. Her mom,
dad's a fair partner. On the other end, she had
no sympathy for her. Uh, yeah that makes sense. Yeah,
she's not gonna have sympathy for the person that her
husband cheated with.

Speaker 3 (07:53):
Yeah there's she's cool, but you're not cool. Yeah, No,
she's reasonable. Yeah makes sense. There's no there's no reason
to be mad, especially at the child. The child in
this case.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
Dad has gone the extra mile for Mom these last
few days. Breakfast in bed, flowers, you name it. Mom
is probably gonna enjoy this for a while, as she should.
So yeah, that's how my last two weeks have been.
But with my dad's extended family calling me non stop
as well, all curious about her. My aunt's on my
father's side are wanting to meet their niece. Not gonna
throw that young woman to the wolves also known as

(08:26):
my aunt's until she has some time to absorb this herself. Hi,
for one thinks she's nice and she's my little sister.
Not how I expected this year would turn out, to
say the least, There is a little bit left to
this story. But that was the smoothest cheating story I've
ever read.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
As butter, It's like a new.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
Kid, cool, cheated on your wife.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
She's fine, her mom sucks, and then like for her like,
welcome if you need, Welcome to the family.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
Everyone like this is the chillest family out. They're all like, yeah,
we have a new affair, baby sibling, daughter, Welcome to
the family.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
I mean yeah, it's She was like, this is real.
Let's be realistic here. I'm too old. We've been through
this way too long. We've been together. There's no reason
to like end it to start new lives. Let's just
you know, you owe me and the breakfast in bed
do this? Get me flowers?

Speaker 1 (09:21):
Like you owe me? But it feels like he like
forgot to pay a bill rather than had a whole
Like that's what that. This is what She's like, you're
gonna be cooking from me.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
You're not bad boy. But yeah, no, this is great. Yeah,
I guess everything's working out. Op. It seems like get
to know your half sister now and I have a
new sister. Yeah it's great because Op, he's been an
only child, so makes sense. He's like I have a
sister now sick.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, boys don't care how they sourced her. But there
is a little bit left to this story, Sophie says.
Opie's dad looked out. Yeah, I honestly just hope her
parents will make it through this. Her sisters are around
my age, thirty two and thirty four. She said she
had not been treated differently by them, which is a relief,
and her dad still loved her, but she needed to

(10:15):
meet my dad despite that, you just wanted to know.
You had hoped we were all clowns, and instead she said,
you're all nice people. Yeah, you guys are just too nice.
Oh yeah, twenty twenty one, any more surprises in store
for me? Just you adop Just Jewa comments, Uh, props
to your mom for being good to her. A lot
of women tend to be mean to the affair kids,

(10:36):
as if it's somehow their fault and not the person
who actually at the affair. Comment two says this kind
of situation is so much more common than we would imagine.
There are several therapists who specialize in helping families deal
with these big shifts and changes, and lots of resources,
including podcasts about it too everything's relative great one. I'm
happy to hear you and your mom seemed to be

(10:58):
able to accept the situation well, and I'm sure your
sister is really appreciative too. When I signed up for
the DNA databases, I secretly hoped I would find a
sibling somewhere, just because it feels so lonely being the
only person in my family who is like me, sensitive,
empathy driven. And I didn't find any siblings, but I
did find out more about my dad's biological family. He

(11:20):
never knew his biodad and I also didn't have him
around long enough before he died, and knowing more has
had a huge impact on my life and how I
see myself in a very positive way. I hope that
you grow to have a great relationship with your sister
and that you two stay connected. Comment three. Your family
should avoid her. She is not a part of it.

(11:41):
It's sad but true. It won't end well. The only
one she could have some kind of relationship with your
sor dad. You and your mom didn't sign in for
that mess? Dude, did you not read the story? Normally
I'd be like, yeah, I get what you're saying. This
family is chill they want this girl.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
If the child was looking for like money or like
looking for drama or looking just like get something.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
I don't even think she was.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
I get I guess like having your hands a little
bit more up. But like she came like, hey, I
just found this out and I just want to see
who my real dad is. And that's that.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
And then they were like, yeah, she's like I was
not expecting this.

Speaker 3 (12:21):
Yeah, though she was like I was expecting clowns, literal clowns.

Speaker 1 (12:25):
And three, I don't know your name.

Speaker 3 (12:27):
She suck a little aggressive commentary. Three.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yeah, but that's the bit of that story so wholesome.

Speaker 3 (12:34):
That was great. That was probably one of the nicest,
like a fair stories we've.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
Had, really like huge affair problem, very simple solution.

Speaker 3 (12:43):
Yeah, I guess you know it's on the show when
you cut the wrapping paper.

Speaker 1 (12:46):
Yeah, you just get like.

Speaker 3 (12:48):
That was that was easy? Gee? Easy? Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
But we've got another story, folks. Yeah, Samantha Alisa's I
want to do a DNA test. I can almost guarantee
I have half siblings out there from my dad. What
stopping you or is it just like you're like, I
want to do it, but I'm gonna uncover so.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
Many secrets, secret secret tricky.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
Caleb von Compen says, my mom did twenty three and
meter and found out that she was the affair kid.
She was forty two at the time.

Speaker 3 (13:14):
WHOA, that's stuff better late than never, I guess. So, yeah,
is it? Did you?

Speaker 1 (13:19):
Would you rather find out that you were an a
fair child or never find out?

Speaker 3 (13:23):
I would want to find out, Okay, but I know
for a fact I'm not.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
Yeah. Well yeah, I oh that be.

Speaker 3 (13:27):
Because I was literally a mistake. Oh yes, My parents
are like, ooh, that's why you have two last names.
Oh yeah, yeah, I was a mistake.

Speaker 1 (13:36):
My mother, who abandoned us, wants to reconcile.

Speaker 3 (13:40):
You abandon us, No second chances.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
She and my father were high school sweethearts. We lived
in a rural place that's not big enough to be
called a town, but still larger than your average village.
That what's the Is there a term for that, like hamlet?
That's not Maybe that's smaller than No, I don't anyway.
They settled into a farm life after graduating and had
my brothers seven years later. She left us when my

(14:04):
brother was only a month and a half old. Baby.
By the way, This comes from throw a Farmer, and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash. Okay, story time separate it. So to
this day, I can still remember waking up to get
ready for school and finding my father on the ground,
kneeling over and crying holding one of my notebooks. I
was just a child at the time, and seeing my

(14:26):
father curled up like that made me cry too, And
that's when my father got a hold of his emotions
and righted himself up to pick me up. She, in
her hurry to leave, literally took a notebook from my
school bag and wrote her half but excuses for why
she was leaving us. Whoa wow.

Speaker 3 (14:45):
So we start off with childhood trauma for ope.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
Oh my goodnes noomenal OPI like comes home or sorry,
Opie comes downstairs or whatever? Ye seize her father? Yeah,
sobbing into a note one of her notebooks that her
mother is just written I'm leaving you with.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
With like, well, we'll here see why why she's leaving,
which I want to know how.

Speaker 1 (15:07):
She never wanted kids, how she shouldn't have gotten pregnant,
how things should have turned out differently, how this small
town was smothering her.

Speaker 3 (15:15):
She's just a small town girl living in a lonely world.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Took the midnight train going anywhere. Jeez, she needed to
get away. And now the second child, my brother, was
the final noose that wouldn't let her breathe. I learned
what she wrote in that notebook a year or so later,
when I found it in the drawers. She left with
our truck and had someone deliver it to us a
month or so later, without even sending a word or anything.
Just some guy came and said, here's your truck. My

(15:41):
father was a mess afterward, not taking care of the farm,
stopped eating, started drinking. It was the fact that I
stopped going to school to take care of my brother,
along with my aunt, her sister, and her husband's words
that finally made him bounce back. But you could see
he was sad for a lot of years, and still
even after a decade, he would get all closed up

(16:02):
around the time she left or on their anniversaries. It
was us, Dad and I who took care of my brother.
I'd come back from school, do the dishes that were
left over from our breakfast, and take care of my
brother until he was a few years older. Then I
slowly became the woman of the house go to speak.
I'd cook the food, do the dishes, take care of
my brother after school, while my father would spend nearly

(16:25):
all his waking hours trying to manage the farm. Wow,
we weren't the richest people around, but with only one
depressed adult and two small kids, we earn more than
what we needed and even saved up a bit for
my brother's college fund. My father insisted that I should
have won for myself as well, but I was spending
too much time on domestic and farm related stuff to

(16:45):
actually focus on my studies. And if I have to
be honest, I loved the farm, the animals, in taking
care of my brother. Anyway. Nearly a year ago, she
returned to visit her family, my aunt and us two,
and she was apparently planning on settling back here permanently.
He knew that she had a good few years of
modeling what she ran away and became a model. That's crazy,

(17:09):
that's insane, being like a child, and they're like, yeah,
my mom left me. Here she is in the magazines.
She's voguing as my mom, which led to her joining
the staff of some sort of magazine from her aunt,
as she still called her from time to time. She
tried calling us a few times as well, but I
refused to talk with her, and I think she was

(17:30):
too ashamed to ask to talk with my brother anyway.
When she came back, she apparently had enough to settle
back here with a new house and some land. After
a few days of her coming year, she tried to
contact us again when she and my dad ran into
each other at the town Center. My dad says he
told her about my opinion on her, but she insisted.
Apparently she owed that to me and I shoved it

(17:52):
for the lack of a better term. With a few
extras on the side as well. She tried the emotional
regretful parent on me. They're crying at all, but I
don't buy it, or rather, I just wish she never
came back to disturb us and had lived in her
very breathable big city life and left us the heck alone.
My brother was not there at the time, as he's

(18:13):
in his first year of college. He was admitted via
early enrollment thanks to him being the lovable genius that
he is. I knew my dad was still in love
with her. I tried to set up a few dates
for him before, but it never went anywhere in that summer. Well,
this summer they started dating again, to my dismay and

(18:33):
my brother's joy.

Speaker 3 (18:36):
I mean, he's been so lonely, but I don't Yeah, no,
that's terrible.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
No, you're wait, I'm sorry. You're dating the woman that
abandoned you and your kids.

Speaker 3 (18:47):
Now he's dating a model.

Speaker 1 (18:49):
Yeah. Now he's like, well, no, she's a model. You
have to understand. She's just doing very well.

Speaker 3 (18:54):
For she's the hottest part of the town. Now he's
the talk of the town.

Speaker 1 (18:57):
I would feel so betrayed as Opie. Yeah, like seeing
your mom, like literally your dad sobbing on the floor
over your mother. You having to become parentified because your
mom abandoned you and your dad was in this depressive
state and left you. Like yeah, he was doing a
lot of work and trying to keep his family together,
but he did parentify you, and you did have to

(19:17):
like miss out on schooling and stuff like no matter
if he said, oh, you should have a college fund too,
and you were like, oh, it's fine, it's fun. He
should as a parent be like, no, we're getting you
a college fund, you know. But he didn't because he
was dealing with all this stuff, and then after all

(19:37):
of those sacrifices, to accept her back is crazy to me.

Speaker 3 (19:43):
Yeah, I mean that's that's insane to me that she'd
even like zero It seems like zero contact. Yeah, zero
help you know, Yeah, is.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
There any monetary like financial passy?

Speaker 3 (19:52):
Seemed like it. It seemed like he was just they
were working hard all you know, there's no reason to
welcome her back with open arms.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
Yeah, now is to date her is crazy?

Speaker 3 (20:03):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (20:03):
My dad invited her over to dinner when my brother
came back from his summer break and we had a
family dinner. I wanted to warn my brother about her,
but seeing his enthusiasm about it, I couldn't break his heart,
so I just stayed civil and didn't speak unless spoken to.
My father had kept that notebook for more than a decade,
but I decided to burn it when I was nineteen.

(20:24):
My father and I had a pretty big fight about
how I had no right to burn it, but I
said to him that it was better than my brother
accidentally finding it and reading his mother thought him a
noose around her neck that wouldn't let her breathe. The
excellent point why is like, why is ope? Yeah, I know,
why is op having to be the adult in this situation?

Speaker 3 (20:47):
It seems like the dad is holding on to like
the last Yeah, he's wanting.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
To fail them, like I do understand that he has
gone through this really terrible, Like, yes he was depressed,
Yes he was betrayed. But when you're a parent, yeah,
like you can't. You're still culpable.

Speaker 3 (21:04):
First, the father is grasping to the notion of what
she was before. Yeah, you know, when they were together.
He's like, oh, I've been yearning for this, I want
this back, and that's what it is. And it's not
the same. It's never going to be the same.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
No, Kim findes his prodigal model.

Speaker 3 (21:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
Now, whenever I see her in our house talking with
my brother, who looks up to her like a genie
finally granted his wish. I remember what she wrote, and
the rage and hatred that goes through my very soul
is becoming that goddamn noose that won't let me breathe.
My brother had a talk with me this morning about
me being cold towards her, and it turned heated when

(21:43):
my brother said, why wouldn't I be happy? I finally
have a mother. We finally have a mother, And I
shouted back at him, I was your mother, not that,
and I don't have a mother. I made my brother
storm out of the house crying, and seeing him cry
made me cry, while my father tried to mediate between
us and failed. Of course he's failed, He's failed over

(22:05):
and over again. Yeah, the guy says he needs therapy.

Speaker 3 (22:09):
Absolutely, he failed. The second he letter back, Well, he.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Failed when he made Ope a parent. You feel when
he didn't go to therapy after you know, years and
years of being in this you know, whole like depressive
hole that like, I just am very upset on OP.

Speaker 3 (22:28):
Yeah, it seems like OPI literally once she left out
that door, childhood gone.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
Yeah. The fact that I can't tell him that I
hate her because she detested us, her own gosh darn children,
because it will hurt him more. The fact that she
abandoned and scorned the loveliest, most innocent looking baby with
sky blue eyes when she was supposed to be a
mother to him. I was a gosh darn seven year
old child.

Speaker 3 (22:51):
That's insane, seven years old, and then that day, you're
now a parent. Pretty much, I cooed at.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
Him, and Shane Stipers for the first time with my
aunt showing me how it's done. And I didn't resent him.
I loved him like a brother, and I loved him
like she was supposed to. And the little comments people
make about her and me now that she's back are
just salt to the wound about our likeness. Even my
brother once commented on how we look so alike, smile
like each other, and how she probably looked like me

(23:21):
when she had him and took all my willpower not
to snap at him. I know that being this bitter
cold person will drive my brother away, and I know
I should stop if I wish to preserve this blissful moment,
even though the cause is her, But I can't help it.
The worst part is since she came back, she's not
the heartless piece of crap that left us. She never

(23:42):
raised her voice when I cursed at her when my
brother was not around, or told her to leave us alone,
or when I asked if she was avoiding me because
I shouldn't have been born at all, and she's trying
to fix a mistake by avoiding me. I once even
told her, does she think about the noose? When my
brother hugs her, and she just looked gut wrenched and
got teary, but only apologized and didn't try to defend herself.

(24:03):
I can't even enjoy hurting her. He doesn't fight back.
She's not the monster I made her out to be.
At least she isn't now. The worst part today made
me resentful and tired, like I don't even have the
strength of feel emotions. I actually understand the resentfulness, but
there is a little bit left to the story. Yeah,
I think that she, like your mom, has probably gone

(24:26):
through a lot. She was probably very young when she
had you two, and she didn't know how to deal
with being a mother, and she probably had to take
on a lot of the child care while your dad
was working on like the farm. Does that mean that
you have to forgive her right now? No?

Speaker 3 (24:43):
No way, no, but no. I feel like you, Opie,
you don't owe your mother anything. No, but I feel
like a conversation just you and her, just say how
you feel and how she made you feel when you left,
and everything you know that's happened and what she made
you go through. You need to tell her that, and
she needs to understand and realize that she failed as

(25:05):
well as a mother.

Speaker 1 (25:06):
And also I think therapy because you don't want to
hold on to this resentment and anger and stuff.

Speaker 3 (25:13):
It's just it's just gonna grow because it just it
just hurts you.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
Yeah, and your dad has forgiven her. Okay, your brother
is I mean, your brother probably never had those feelings
because he was too young.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
Yeah, and he's also just he's it's the he's blinded
by I have a mom now, I finally have a mom.
But also that that kind of like is again a
got wrench to Op, because.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
For everything that you've done, even though he doesn't quite
understand everything you've done, you have still done it. You
have still helped him get to this point, you have
still taken care of him. And that like her being
back doesn't negate all of the time and effort.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
It doesn't feel the void. Yeah, it doesn't feel that
void that you guys are motherless. Yeah, yeah, bless you.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah no, Op, it doesn't mean that you haven't You
didn't do all that. You were there when she wasn't.

Speaker 3 (26:02):
And don't let your family try and course you and
make you feel bad for the way you feel, because
it's true you these are your feelings. Don't don't just
shove them down.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
And your brother's gonna have totally different feelings and that's
his right, and maybe she'll hurt him again, hopefully not.
But I think it's just focusing on you and trying
to not you know, direct that anger at anyone else. Yeah,
you know, feel that anger, feel your emotions in a
healthy way. Uh, and then just you can, you know,

(26:34):
have that conversation with her and say like, hey, unfortunately
I understand you're back with my dad, you have that
relationship with my brother. You've lost your chance to have
a relationship with me. Yeah, you know, I'll be nice,
but you've lost that.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
It's not going to be You're my mom, now you
are you? I am me great, says to be adult here, but.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
There's a little bit left. Am I truly just like
her for resenting my brother, for forgiving her and calling
her his mother when I raised him myself with the
depressed father at home when I was just a child myself,
or the fact that my father accepted her so quickly
makes me see him as a weak willed man. That
makes me question the respect I have for him. Did
I resent the fact that I stayed here on the

(27:14):
farm and not going to college. They made me skip
a grade as well before my mother left us. When
I find some sort of new outlook on life at
college that would make me more like my brother or
father and be happy instead of being resentful. So my
question is what am I going to do now? I
think very easy answers doesn't seem easy. Therapy and focus

(27:36):
on yourself. You've spent so long being the adult, being
the parent that you don't know how to be a kid.
You don't know how to look after yourself, to look
at yourself. What do you need? Do you want to
go to college?

Speaker 3 (27:47):
It's never too late.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
Astram was like, you know, like talk to your dad.
I'm going I want to go to college. I know
that we spoke about. Yeah, it's like, no, you if
you want that, take that, do that.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
If she's back and we don't know, you know, for
how long, or if she's you know, there for good.
Your brother is an adult, your dad is an adult. Now,
I mean your brother's in college too. But I think
this is what Sophia said, just go be free. You've
had this shadow over your head of your mother leaving.
This is the perfect time or not the perfect time.

(28:18):
There's no really perfect time now. But this is the
time for you to actually just go learn who you are,
what you want to do. And I mean, I know
you like it seems like Opie likes farms.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yeah, maybe you can get like a degree in farming. Yeah,
you know, in agriculture.

Speaker 3 (28:32):
There's a big world out there.

Speaker 1 (28:34):
Yeah, folks, that is the end of that story, and
we have one more we're going to get into. Hey,
it's John your og host here.

Speaker 3 (28:41):
We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's a
quick three minute break of aths from our sponsors.

Speaker 1 (28:44):
My mother tried to control my wedding.

Speaker 3 (28:47):
No more control.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
To start to even loosely explain my current situation, we
have to go back to around September last year, twenty
twenty four. My fiance twenty four female and I at
the time we're looking to get married and had finally
found the perfect place for the ceremony, reception and place
to stay for the wedding night. By the way, this
comes from Trauma Dump throw A and if you want

(29:09):
to spit your own stories, go to the rs slash
Okay storytime separate it. So the planning was going really
smoothly and everyone on both sides of our family were
extremely excited to be involved in the planning and the
big day. Then one day, my mother contacted me regarding
who the bridesmaids were, as well as who my best
man was, and I informed her that I would be
choosing my brother in law as he was the one

(29:31):
to introduce me to my partner and I have known
him longer than my fiance. He then asked me to
change the best man to my younger brother and for
my fiance's bridesmaids to be reorganized so that my two
younger sisters could be a part of the bridal party.

Speaker 3 (29:45):
No, yeah, that's ah, that's not your choice.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
That's immediate.

Speaker 3 (29:50):
No ye, easy.

Speaker 1 (29:52):
Peasy, whoops. I gently put the foot down and told
her that it was mine in my fiance's day, and
she had already chosen her bridesmaids, and that I had
unfortunately informed my brother in law that I would like
him to be my best man. This is when crap
hit the fan for the first of many times, and
trust me, it gets a lot worse. No now. She

(30:13):
proceeded to bombard me and my partner with messages saying
that she, along with my stepfather forty one mail and
my brother and sisters would not attend the wedding if
my brother and sisters were not up frightened with me
and my soon to be wife.

Speaker 3 (30:26):
Guess what that sucks there, I'm gonna give.

Speaker 1 (30:29):
Them all recorders and they're gonna be upfront in a
little band from Titanic.

Speaker 3 (30:35):
Yeah, my heart will go on.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
That's what you guys get. Okay, you get what you get.
You don't get upset.

Speaker 3 (30:42):
You guys don't get to get to practice.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
No, you just get up there. We give you. No, no, no,
it's ten minutes before the wedding starts. We go, okay,
So this is These are the notes. This is how
you play the recorder. You guys got this. Here's the
sheet music. Figure it out. You got the You me
trying to come to some form of compromise to ensure
that I can still have my family there to witness
me getting married, and finally agreeing to put a pin

(31:06):
in it for now, however, explicitly informing my mother and
stepfather that my brother and sisters were not going to
be my best man flash my fiance's bridesmaids, and despite
the conversation we had via text, I left it on
what I thought was a nice note. The following week
after this conversation, myself, my fiancee, my mother, my mother
in law both forty four female, my twin sisters, both

(31:29):
in their early teens at the time, my sister in
law twenty six female, and my grandmother seventy two female,
had booked ourselves into an open evening at the venue
we had chosen to view it, all done up as
if it were prepared for our big dang. My mother
then turned up one hour late to the agreed time
to be at the open evening with my sisters and grandmother.

(31:52):
After a brief hello and exchanging some pleasantries, my mother
addressed the entire group, so are the girls bridesmaths? Yet?
My mother in law partner both had a confused look
on their face. So I spoke up her and said, no, Unfortunately,
the bride's maids have been chosen by her and for her,
because there's there're the bride's maids, not the mother in

(32:14):
law's mates.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
It's not in the name exhausting. I'm already exhausted from her.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
You know what, This mother in law needs to go
talk to the people from the first story, because she
would just I feel like if she went under her
tree with the people from the first story, she would
come out in enlightened. She would reach Nirvana. She would
be a what is it both bully's Satva? She would
be one of the enlightened people.

Speaker 3 (32:36):
Would you call me?

Speaker 1 (32:37):
My mother then proceeded to go eighth scrap in front
of the entire staff at the venue and caused a scene,
which then set my mother in law off, who then
began arguing back with her, calling her a few choice
words and some names for causing this drama. Myself and
my partner quickly left afterwards, well it was still going
on to go home and deal with the situation later

(32:59):
as we were exhausted from the embarrassment and how mentally
taxing it was to be involved in such a situation.
Around five hours ish later from this happening, we both
got a bombardment of messages from my mother and stepfather
hating on my mother in law, me and my fiance
for planning an ambush, as well as a few violent

(33:20):
threats being made to myself and my partner. Well, this
is so fun, because you guys won't be coming to
the wedding anymore.

Speaker 3 (33:27):
Yeah, it's so easy.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
We don't even have caught the recorder, caught the recorders.
You're just not gonna have you at the wedding. Don't worry.
At this point, I was mentally done with the situation
and also was done.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
Oh look look at that. We can all agree.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
At the time of this all happening, we were living
in a property that belonged to an extremely good and
longtime friend of my stepfather's.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
Uh oh uh oh.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
And because we didn't take my mother's side straight away,
my stepfather also said he would have a word with
his friend to thee if he could punt us that
seems illegal. I feel like you could prove that's illegal.
You could be like, hey, police, they're trying to kick
us out because my stepfather doesn't like our wedding choices.
Are knowing what you heard it here? First?

Speaker 3 (34:14):
Police, Well that's not allowed.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
We actually need some people for our recorder orchestra. Are
you freeze? So, after talking to my mother in law
and relaying what was said over the phone that night,
my mother in law, along with my sisters in law
and brothers in law, moved us out the very next
day with a few vands to avoid any further conflict
or strings attached to my mother and stepfather. Now they

(34:37):
have nothing to hold over you, effectively making us homeless. No,
and the both of us sleeping on my mother in
law's couch.

Speaker 3 (34:43):
Okay, so they had their roof over you. They had
that dang take a bad plan.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
Okay. This then somewhat fortunately turned into us staying at
my fiance's boss's guest house for two months. Nice that
your fiance's boss is school. All the while, my mother
and stepfather were going an ape crap at us for
leaving my stepfather's friends property that they threatened to get
you kicked out of.

Speaker 3 (35:05):
So yeah, at this point, I say, we postponed the wedding.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
Oh because the housing situation.

Speaker 3 (35:11):
Yeah, get back on your feet. There's no People always
seem like, let's just rush it, let's just rush it.
You don't want to rush it. This is your day.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
But I mean, you might lose all those deposits, which
if you're already financially you know, kind of iffy. You
don't want to waste all that money, which, but I
totally understand what you're saying, Like if you truly are
in just not the right headspace at all, and you
can afford to or you won't lose all those deposits.

Speaker 3 (35:38):
Maybe postpone most of it back.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah, however, if you can or if you can't do that.

Speaker 3 (35:43):
Because this just makes things so much more stressful.

Speaker 1 (35:46):
If you can't do that and you have to do
the wedding, don't invite any of your Don't invite your
mom or your father, your step father, keep them out.
After going no contact for a while, while we were
staying in the guest house and searching for a proper
that was more suitable for us, we then found out
that my fiance was pregnant. Whoa a lot.

Speaker 3 (36:07):
Is going on read the next sentence.

Speaker 1 (36:09):
So, like an idiot, I wanted to try and maintain
some form of relationship with my mother, like an idiot,
and to ensure she met her first grandchild when they arrived.
Did we forget that she tried to get you kicked
out of your place and now you're living in somewhere
else because you were worried about getting kicked out of

(36:29):
your place by your mother and staf She.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
Also try to hijack your wedding planning and pretty much
make it her kind of wedding.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
Oh, he's got very short term memory. I informed my
mother that we were expecting our first child. Then, for
the first time in around three months, we managed to
put the differences we had aside for my sake and
my soon to be child's sake. My fiance and I
finally found a property and began focusing on the new
arrival instead of the wedding. It was canceled until further notice.

(36:58):
Honestly makes sense. You're about to have a child.

Speaker 3 (37:01):
The baby was what broke the camel's back there. You're like, oh, right, okay,
we don't.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
Have a place. Okay, my mom sucked. Oh we have
a baby. Okay, Okay, that's it. Well okay, yeah, as
far as we knew anyway. Then for a good while,
everything slowly but surely began to get better and was
looking like it was before, except my fiance I had
next to no contact with my mother. My son was
finally born this year. Yeah, happy and healthy, although a

(37:28):
bit premature. Once he was born, I was living life
in absolute My partner finally managed to find it within
herself to bring yourself around to my mother's house with
our son without any pressure for myself mine I add,
and without a single apology from my mother and stepfather.
That's a thing. If they had apologized, I might be

(37:49):
a little bit more inclined to be like, yeah, okay,
they're never d you know you had a kid, you
didn't have a kid. I'm sorry you had no apology
from them, They have made no attempts to reconcile with you.
Why would you want to welcome them back into your life?

Speaker 3 (38:06):
I don't know why we're going back distance. Yeah, I
don't know why we're going back.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
I don't have no idea.

Speaker 3 (38:10):
There was no that. I don't really why not to
an apology? Yeah, exactly until an apology was said or given? Yeah,
why would I especially if they're my parents, why would
I want to go back? Yes, I have our son.
I'm living my life with absolute bliss, Zach, Why do
you want to ruin that?

Speaker 1 (38:26):
My mother has met my son a grand total of
two times. The first time was a week after he
was born, and the second time was four days after that.
As of this post, he is nearly four months old.
Flash forward to his baptism two weeks ago. I had
organized the entirety of both families to be there for myself,
my fiance, and my son.

Speaker 3 (38:47):
The mom's gonna be like, could your sisters also get baptized?

Speaker 1 (38:50):
Yeah? Can can you just baptize them? Please?

Speaker 3 (38:52):
Can I also get baptized? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (38:54):
Everyone should get baptized? Can be?

Speaker 3 (38:56):
It's about our family.

Speaker 1 (38:56):
Can we baptize your child? Can I? Can I do that?
Head dunking please? And begged my mother to be there
and to bring my sisters and brother. Ultimately, she never
turned up and made an excuse that she wasn't feeling well.
I had made it known to my fiance, my mother
in law, and grandmother that I was quite upset that
my mother hadn't made an effort with my son, her

(39:18):
first grandchild since he was born, and didn't make the
effort to attend the baptism service or function for even
one hour of her time, and that my mother could
have at least organized it so my brother and sisters
could attend. This infuriated my mother in law, and she
was very empathetic towards me. My mother in law then
took it upon herself to message my mother, oh, expressing

(39:39):
her disapproval that she didn't attend that day. Unbeknownst to
my knowledge, that's not going to turn out well.

Speaker 3 (39:45):
Oh, you remember Juli's They.

Speaker 1 (39:47):
Literally had like a screaming match or at that other
wedding event. I can't imagine this is going.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
To tell so so well. She'd be like, you're right,
you called me out. You're so right. I should have
been there and.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
Be there for my son and his child. This then
snowballed into a hate campaign being made towards my mother
in law by my mother, including a bunch of nasty
messages being exchanged between both my mother and my mother
in law. After a week of nasty messages being exchanged
periodically between them, my mother in law messaged and phoned

(40:20):
my mother asking to come around to her house to
talk this out.

Speaker 3 (40:24):
Like adults, Oh man, I want to see this, dude.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
They're gonna be like they're like like, yeah, let's talk,
let's talk.

Speaker 3 (40:31):
Let's talk, let's talk with.

Speaker 4 (40:32):
My mother in law is doing way too much.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
But I actually kind of agree that the mother. I
understand that the mother in law is doing this from
like a good place.

Speaker 3 (40:42):
She's trying to yeah, but she's trying to protect Ope,
she's talking to immovable object.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
Yeah, it's like sometimes we.

Speaker 4 (40:50):
Just do you think she is doing this because she
was a bad mom to Oh he's husband.

Speaker 1 (40:54):
Oh p he's does No.

Speaker 3 (40:56):
No, I think she's doing this because she's a good
person and she understands.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
I think that she wants to protect dope.

Speaker 3 (41:03):
She wants to be a motherly figure towards her son
in law.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
Yes, but I think that I think that, like sometimes
when you got a crazy person, the best thing is
just to take a step back and not interact with
them and not poke the bear.

Speaker 3 (41:16):
It's the screaming match of like you can scream louder,
just walk away. They just just look like an idiot.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
Yeah, yeah, I think you just need to focus on
your fiance, your child and leave your mom your own device.

Speaker 3 (41:28):
Yeah, stop giving. I know you want to have that
relationship with them, but there's no point in doing that.
They're just toxic and they're narcissistic and they just want
their way and that's it.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
And that there were no physical threats being made towards her.
And if she can message all those nasty comments, she
can also express herself really face to face. Those are threats.
They're about to tussle one. They're about to tussle man.
I'm ready with the ring because they're about to throw down.
They're about to throw down. The blind one says, ww

(42:00):
granny style in the ring, we have a mother.

Speaker 3 (42:04):
In the other ring, we have mother in law. Which
mom is gonna win the belt? I don't know, and
I don't watch that. That's all I got for you, guys.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
Upon arrival at my mother's house with my sister in
law driving as she can't drive, my mother in law
approached the door and knocked. As my mother answered the door,
it got physical immediately, like who's who's there?

Speaker 3 (42:31):
Who's call an ambulance?

Speaker 1 (42:34):
Not for me? Dude, who could have saw that coming? Literally?
Anyone with eyes, Yeah, anyone with eyes.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
I wish I ah man, I wish I was there.

Speaker 1 (42:43):
Your mother in law specifically said, oh, yeah, it's not
gonna get physical. Why would she mean Why would she
say it's not gonna get physical?

Speaker 3 (42:52):
Read between the lines of it was going to be
extremely physical.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
She meant, it's not not going to be physical.

Speaker 3 (42:59):
Tell your friends, tell your husband, tell your family. You're
about to get embarrassed.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
My mother in law finally managed to escape through the
front door. Wait, wait, it's at so your mother in
law shows up at your mom's house. Your mom opens
the door, your mother in law, it's we don't know
who threw the first bunch. Someone throws the first bunch.
Your mother in law escapes through the front door or
was she already in the house?

Speaker 3 (43:23):
And then let's cool, want to I want to video
of this?

Speaker 1 (43:27):
Well, my sister in law punted my mother's front door
as she had seen there was a scuffle behind the
door as it had frosted glass on the front. And
to finally fast forward to now, my mother in law
had just been arrested two hours ago as my mother
had filed a police report against her breakface. My mother
in law has photographic evidence of the aftermath and the

(43:47):
text messages to prove this. So I'm not sure how
things are going to proceed. Advice is appreciated, and folks,
there is nothing more to that story. But I honestly
we don't have really information on who started it. Mother
in law had to have known what was gonna happen.

Speaker 3 (44:04):
Yeah, once you get yeah, she had to have. No,
that's what you always say, meet in a neutral zone. Yeah,
you don't go into this property. Yeah, mother in law
is doing a little bit too much. My advice to you,
op is just live with your family. Yeah, focus on
your new baby boy.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
Who is that No?

Speaker 3 (44:22):
Baby boy and just have a good time and then
plan the wedding when you guys are back on your
feet and more stable. Stop giving the light of day
to your mother. There's no point in it. She's gonna
sit on that pompous horse that she's on. That's my advice.

Speaker 4 (44:37):
Yeah, the mom is a tricky one. She's waited for
the mom to show up on mother in law's property.
It does not look good to show up at the
mom's house.

Speaker 3 (44:47):
No, it doesn't know. I think mother mother in law
probably what she got arrested. Yeah, no, one hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (44:51):
Mother in law.

Speaker 3 (44:51):
It was just like baffled by, like how dumb your
mom is?

Speaker 1 (44:55):
Mother in law showed up on mom's mom.

Speaker 3 (44:58):
Yeah, yeah, no, I think she doesn't know. Mother in
law was just so fed up. She's like, I don't
care anymore. I'm too old. I want, I need, I
want to have a conversation with her.

Speaker 1 (45:07):
I'm gonna talk to her. Yeah, we're gonna show a
couple words, if you know what I mean. And then
she went over.

Speaker 3 (45:15):
To the mom's It's like it was all brewing, like
she can't fathom how dumb Opie's mom is, and like
how selfish he is so personally.

Speaker 1 (45:25):
I think that you should limit contact with your mom
a lot because this is just too much.

Speaker 3 (45:32):
Yeah, she doesn't deserve to see her grandson your child,
not at all.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
Not at all. But folks, that is the end of
that story and the end of this episode. We no,
I lied. We have one more folks, Sam here ogi host.

Speaker 3 (45:45):
We're gonna get back to these stories.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (45:48):
First, my boyfriend chose me over his mother, and now
she's blaming me for it.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
You had to make a choice to start.

Speaker 3 (45:56):
I'm twenty two female and my boyfriend is twenty four male.
He's in the military and gets out in a year.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
Woo.

Speaker 3 (46:03):
We're very close and he's the love of my life
and he has expressed the desire to get married. I've
told him I'd say yes when his contract is over
and we have more money. By the way, this comes
from user astro billisk and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime Subburty.
So we're currently saving for a house. In other words,

(46:23):
this is a serious relationship and is definitely headed towards
marriage and starting a family. Since we started dating. I
have not been to his home state to meet his
family due to my job. I haven't accrued enough paytap
off to be able to take off the amount of
time that would be needed to drive ten hours and
stay a few days, because I just started accruing in
March when my contract became permanent. He's opened up to

(46:46):
me about his family dynamic, though, and more specifically his mother.
His mother is a very my way or the highway
type of person, and she tends to get very upset
when he refuses to comply. He decided last winter that
he would stay with me over his holiday leave instead
of going home, because he said to me that he
wanted to spend Christmas with me and my family because frankly,

(47:09):
we're emotionally easier to be around. He felt as if
his mother used him as a therapist when he was
home due to his brother passing two years ago. At
his job.

Speaker 1 (47:17):
Oh at his job. Oh that's rough.

Speaker 3 (47:21):
Yeah, yeah, And I guarantee you she probably holds that, like,
not not necessarily blaming him, but it's definitely one of
those things where like, your brother passed away, and it's.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
Just yeah, you need to take care of me.

Speaker 3 (47:32):
Yeah, ooh, I had a problem with this, and expressed
the want to buy Christmas presents for his family and
mail them. I had bought them and everything, and we
put them up to wait until closer to time Thanksgiving.
She facetimed him, and I thought it would be a
good opportunity to introduce myself. I'm normally very shy slash
don't speak much, so this was a big deal to me.

(47:53):
I waved and said hello and tried to introduce myself,
but she jumped straight into talking to her son. Okay,
it's okay, Okay. Maybe it was the wrong time to
do that, or she didn't hear me, so I'll wait
and try again later. I ended up introducing myself to
a few other family members, though, when she passed the
phone around. Once she got the phone back, I was

(48:13):
about to try again when she asked him if he
was coming home for Christmas, and I guarantee you, this
is not going to be good.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
There's going to be a problem.

Speaker 3 (48:23):
Yeah. We both kind of froze, and I knew my
introduction to her was not going to happen that day.
She loudly exclaimed to his grandmother that he would not
be coming home and she seems sad, which made him
feel guilty.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
Oh wait, sorry, I thought the mom was saying that.
The grandma said, are you coming back for Christmas? And
the mom was like, he's not coming back.

Speaker 3 (48:44):
No, no, mom. Mom asked like, are you coming home?

Speaker 1 (48:47):
So oh, okay, maybe okay the first time I got it.

Speaker 3 (48:50):
Right, Yeah, yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (48:52):
Then his mom took the phone and went into a
private area and let him have it. You're not coming
home for the holidays.

Speaker 1 (48:59):
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 3 (49:00):
It was so bad that my own mother texted me
to come help her with the tablecloth. She asked me
if he was okay because of how badly his mother
was talking to him like a dog. Basically, this guy's
also in the military, so could you imagine a big military.

Speaker 1 (49:16):
Man being berated by it, and just.

Speaker 3 (49:18):
Like just I guarantee you he's taking it too. He's
not saying anything.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
Yeah, that's really rough, because this guy, he's probably taken
a lot of like kind of this not like adulting
or anything, but like care take her role of his
mom and grandmother because of the loss of the son, yeah,
or of her other son, lash his brother, and so
like he doesn't want to like push back against her
or anything.

Speaker 3 (49:42):
And this is pretty much the first time too that
OPI is Yeah being basically meeting Yeah introduced over the
phone on FaceTime. I cried after he got off the
phone with her because I never realized how badly she
could talk. Another time he was on the phone with her,
he told her an idea we had that he was
excited about, and she told him it was stupid.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
She's stupid. Don't get that other mother in lawn here.

Speaker 3 (50:05):
Get her in the ring. She's got words, Get her
in the ring. I don't think she realized I was
right there and can hear her, but she specifically told him,
And this is what stuck with me. I don't care
about your little friends on bass or your little girlfriend.
I care about you, and I will always be your
number one cheerleader in this life.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
Also like Emesis freaking hates you.

Speaker 3 (50:29):
Number one point of anxiety, Yeah. Stress. This took me
aback because I felt I had been doing most of
the cheerleading recently and all she had been doing was
tearing him down. He got sad at that and ended
the call with her, and I ended up comforting him
and telling him I still thought his idea was good
and that his intentions were good. There have been other
insistance of them fighting and her saying terrible things to

(50:51):
him by calling him by his biological father's name ooh,
very sore spot. And he expresses the feeling that she
only ever calls him with terrible news. For instance, someone
passed away his step bother that he calls Dad's heart
is not doing well, so just bad stuff. And I
guarantee you she wants to use him as like a
cheer me up kind of thing.

Speaker 4 (51:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
I think she just puts all that emotional turmoil on him,
and all of her anger and frustration and stuff. He's
like this emotional punching bag.

Speaker 3 (51:21):
I have been too scared to reach out to her
myself after all these instances, to introduce myself and try
to bond with her.

Speaker 1 (51:28):
But the thing is that, like she she's awful. It's
really hard to bond with someone who's just awful.

Speaker 3 (51:33):
Yeah, and Opie is very shy herself.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
Yeah, and you have this person who just screams at
her own son, like, I don't think it's gonna bode
well for you.

Speaker 3 (51:41):
I feel like the one that should really introduce them
is the son. But I feel like he's tried. Yeah, like, mom,
this is my girlfriend, and like I don't care about her.
I want you, who are you?

Speaker 1 (51:52):
I think he needs to make you know a lot.
I mean, this is maybe a conversation that you can
have with him, but I think it's you need to
create some boundaries or he needs it's a great boundaries
with his mom.

Speaker 3 (52:01):
This makes it even harder for him to go no
contact with her because he's the only one left.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
Yeah, I mean, yeah, when you don't have a lot
of family left, you kind of bond with the ones
that you have. But she's she's not worth that, you know,
it's not worth the pain, and just like yeah, miss mistreatment.

Speaker 3 (52:20):
He wants to marry you, and he there's a reason
why you really haven't met. He's part of the family. Recently,
it's gotten a lot worse. Uh oh. He has expressed
the desire to get married, which I'm very excited about,
and has started telling his family back home that I
am the one he wants to be with for ever.
This was met with overwhelming support for him, and I

(52:41):
was happy his family seemed to like me, even if
I haven't met them physically just yet. His mother seemed
to not really care, and when he pressed her about it,
she admitted she felt indifferent towards me. This angered my boyfriend,
and he asked her how could she say that, because
this is very important to him, and I'm important to
him as well. Oh, he asked why she hadn't put

(53:02):
in any effort to get to know me or even
ask about us as a couple. She then responded that
she was tired of being the villain in his story
and refused to talk about it any longer.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
That's something a villain would say.

Speaker 3 (53:15):
Yeah, true villain, Yeah, true villain.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
Self aware.

Speaker 3 (53:19):
This hurt his feelings and mine because I felt that
I tried towards the beginning to make an impression, but
she ignored me. Since then, he's been getting phone calls
from others in his family expressing disappointment about him fighting
with his mother about something like this. He is now
refusing to go see her when we plan to go
to a state to visit the rest of his family.

(53:40):
I understand things are strained, and it's inadvertly my fault.
It is not your fault.

Speaker 1 (53:46):
She's been training him like this for much longer than
you've been around, it seems it's not your fault.

Speaker 3 (53:51):
Yeah, she's making.

Speaker 1 (53:52):
A decision that has nothing to do I mean, like, yes,
in part, it has something to do with you, but
in reality, it has everything to do with your partner's
relationship with.

Speaker 3 (54:04):
His mother A one and as she's two hundred percent,
I feel bad for upe because I guarantee you if
he's like, it's my fault, it's my fault, and she's
berating him more because she loves she loves her husband
or soon to be a husband, but she's like, it's
my fault that he's No, it's not.

Speaker 1 (54:15):
Not at all.

Speaker 3 (54:16):
So I want to know how I can fix it.
If there's something I can do to show her that
I don't want any strife between her and her son.

Speaker 1 (54:24):
No, nothing, there's not You didn't do anything in the
first place, so there's nothing that can be done to
fix it on your end.

Speaker 3 (54:29):
Here's a therapist, Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
Therapy for your partner. Showing your partner that you are
family and you support him and you're gonna be there
for him in a way that his mom has not done.

Speaker 3 (54:39):
Should I steal my nerves and reach out to her?
How do I help in a situation like this? I
don't want him to cut contact with his mother because
she doesn't really care for me. But I feel like
maybe I can turn things around if we meet in
person too.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
He's not cutting contact with his mom because she doesn't
care for you. That's not wep. He's got like I.
He's got it all. Oh yeah, it's not like not
in a mean way, but it's not about you. It's
about again, how your partner has been treated by his
mom and it's not been good. And she's made her choices.
She's you know, she's got to own up to her

(55:15):
own actions, which you won't.

Speaker 3 (55:17):
But and I guarantee your consequences. She's going to play
the victim card of.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
Life absolute and she'll blame it on you.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
So she reached out to me, she has the goal
to tell me to be a better mother, or.

Speaker 1 (55:28):
Oh she didn't reach out, like she's pulling my son away.
She's gonna blame it everything on you. That doesn't mean any.

Speaker 3 (55:33):
It's like one of those diagrams, like whatever angle it
goes to, it's going to come back to you. Yeah,
because she doesn't gonna be in a negative way take responsibility.
My father says to stay out of it because she
sounds like a self absorbed person is but I really
don't have any experience with people of that nature. You
don't want to have any of that. Reddit, have you
dealt with somebody like this? What should I do? And
there's an edit splash update. Let's go into that. I

(55:55):
didn't expect the overwhelming response and feedback, so I'm glad
to see so many people have been supportive of my
boyfriend and giving us helpful advice. Thanks to all who
competent it on or message me privately with advice and
reassurance that I did not miss a social cue or
do something wrong to cause any problems. I'm a big
worry wart about those things. So the update is that
we've spoken about this post, and we've looked into some

(56:17):
of the terms that people mentioned, and he's seen some
of the things people have said about narcissism. I think
he's still processing things that his mother could actually be
capable of hurting him this way. That's crazy that he
hasn't noticed that at all.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
Yeah, I mean it's hard when you when you grow
up with that, that's really hard to notice that this
is not normal, and then you're around people who actually
have good family members self aware.

Speaker 3 (56:41):
He was self aware.

Speaker 1 (56:42):
Sorry to cut you off there, No, no, no, I was
just saying, then you're around people who have good relationships
and you're like, oh, this isn't how my mom's supposed
to treat me.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
Yeah, he is self aware. He's like, I'm embarrassed. Yeah,
I don't want don't be around my family. It's just
very toxic. But yeah, that's very true. He's very angry
at right now at her for these reasons. I've also decided,
thanks to the comments, that there is indeed nothing I
can do in this situation to make things better. I
wanted to believe that maybe I could, but it definitely

(57:09):
seems that no matter what I do, it wouldn't be productive.
Like we said, we've also made a small plan regarding
what to do when we go down to visit the
rest of his family. In the event she is there,
we will definitely be staying in a hotel so it
can strategically retreat if she begins her antics. Lol, there's
a little bit left, Sophia. I mean, we said the advice,

(57:30):
Opie's taking the advice. It's just you can't. You can
take a horse to water, you can't force them to
drink it.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
I think that, I mean in just for Opie's you know,
it's fine. I think when you grow up in a
really good environment and you have people around you who
are reasonable and you're able to solve problems through communication,
and you've never been around a person who's so self
absorbed and just in their own world. This you think

(58:01):
that you can approach the problems that you have with
them in a reasonable way by talking to them. You
can't because they're not reasonable. You can't reason with unreasonable people.

Speaker 3 (58:15):
No. Again, it's like the last story, you're talking to
like a brick wall. Yeah, it's just not worth it.
So it's something that you have something.

Speaker 4 (58:25):
Yes, I hope he can experience unconditional love from a parent.
He seems to need to provide something to be able
to get the approval from his mom.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
Yeah. I mean he lost his brother. He probably has
again that bond with his mom.

Speaker 3 (58:38):
But again there's a sore spot with his father.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
Yeah. Just yeah, let him know that you're there and
you guys are in a partnership and that's all you do.

Speaker 3 (58:46):
Yeah, And I guarantee you that's why he's like, can
we just do holidays with your family? And that's oh yeah,
and that's probably like, Oh, that's what it looks like.
That's insane.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (58:57):
So, and I guarantee you he wants to maybe have
that with his mother, but it's again, you can't. You
can't force them. Regarding our non existent but future children.
The only reason I said I would be okay with
seeing them is because he told me his stepdad wouldn't
be able to see them if she didn't. And I
don't want to deprive them of seeing any grandkids because
he didn't do anything and has always treated my boyfriend

(59:20):
as his own son. He's a nice man and it's
not his fault. His wife is the way she is.
I wonder at times how he fares on his own
now that the boys have their own lives. Will definitely
revisit this though when the time comes anyways, So trust
that will always do what's best for us as a
couple and our little family. When we do begin that
journey and we have some comments, come a number one,

(59:42):
you didn't cause a rift. It sounds like his mom
looks for any reason to make herself Number one. The
only way to be around someone like that is to
keep a distance. If you end up marrying your boyfriend.
You might never be liked by his mom. You're very
young and need to have positive influences in your life.
She doesn't sound like she would be very uplifting to
either one of you, to be honest, and looks like

(01:00:03):
and that's the end of that story.

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
The end of that story. Yeah, I agree with that. Gee,
you don't need it in your life. And if you
want the stepdad in your life, then talk to him.
I have a conversation and say, hey, don't feel comfortable
having a mom in your life. We would love for
you to meet the kids, but you have to make
that own choice, your own choice.

Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
Yeah, it makes sense. But that is the end of
that story.

Speaker 1 (01:00:24):
And it's the end of this episode. So if you
love us, make sure to subscribe.

Speaker 3 (01:00:28):
We love you and see you tomorrow.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My dad’s AFFAIR BABY just showed up at our door… | Reddit Stories | EP2218