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0:00 r/charlottedobreyoutube - WIBTA if I let my sister get revenge on my ex husband/best friend?34:20 r/relationship_advice - Found out I (23F) got cheated on at least 10 times by my now ex (28M). He wants the opportunity to change. How do I handle this?
Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og
Okay Storytime podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Host, and we got some great stories coming up.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Before that, we have a quick two minute break from
the sponsors that keep the show a lot. My ex
husband left me for my best friend. My sister wants
to take revenge. Go the trigger warning for animal abuse.
I thirty three female, was in a relationship with my
ex husband thirty five male, for twelve years, married for
two He was a couple of years ahead of me
(00:25):
in high school and we started dating the week before
I turned sixteen. For the most part, our relationship was
very good, but around college things became stressful. His family
was very conservative and I was very liberal. He was
a more left leaning moderate, and so it wasn't as
much of an issue between us, but there was definitely
a lot of sucking it up around some of his
(00:46):
family members. By the way, this comes from proft Confused
on the Charlotte Debray YouTube subrede it and if you
want to submit your own stories, good to the r
slash Okay Storytime subred it. So the thing about him
was he was a very smart person who just now
he ever actually achieved his full potential. For one reason
or another. He would have a lot of good ideas,
but talk about and did open various businesses, but they
(01:09):
would eventually crumble and he'd go back to doing what
he always did, work for his parents or within his network.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Mmm.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
He wanted to believe he was better than he was,
but he never did anything to actually prove it or
be better. You just expected people to recognize his brilliance
in advance. He was very charming and charismatic. So it
worked when we were in high school and college, not
so much afterwards when he entered the workforce.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
See, I see this because I am similar to this. Yeah,
when you answer the workforce, you have to do it
in a different way.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Plus, and if you're in a comfortable situation, like you know,
I could work for my family, Sawmill, I'd be comfortable.
I wouldn't like it, but I'd be comfortable. You gotta
put yourself in uncomfortable sit you exactly. Gotta he put
himself there, exactly. Yeah, he kind of settled and he
was like, people should just think that I'm brilliant and
get me the opportunities instead of working or showing value first. Exactly,
(02:04):
because you showed value for your brother's podcast for exactly yes,
and I rode for free yep, and then now three
years look where you're at here.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I wanted to go to graduate school as soon as
I finished my undergrad work. He insisted it was a
terrible idea because I had so many student loans already
and I should pay those off before going into more debt.
He wanted to move back to his family and work
for his mom, and I reluctantly agreed it probably made
financial sense. They lived in a very rural area and
(02:34):
finding work was difficult, and often I'd have to drive
forty five minutes or an hour and a half plus
to get to work every day. I didn't have any
friends in the area, and the only people I could
really spend time with were his family. I did love
them despite our differences, especially his dad, but there was
a lot of chafing. My dad retired at one point
and offered to use some of his pension to pay
(02:56):
both mine and my then boyfriend's student loans. I was ecstatic.
I've been drowning under over one thousand dollars a month
payments and it was literally a lifeline. You're wow, thousand dollars,
it's so crazy that your dad offered to pay for
both your payments and your boyfriend's loans.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I thought it was his.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
No, it's it's Ope's dad. Wow, he was going to
use his pension to pay off Ope's and her boyfriend's
student loans.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
So was chafing me, Like Robbie, Yeah, dude, that is
very generous.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Once the loans were paid off, I brought up graduate school.
I wanted to get my PhD. It was important to me.
My boyfriend insisted he didn't want to move, that he
had a job here and his family was here, and
he couldn't afford our household on his own if I
was a full time student. I looked at the universities nearby,
but we couldn't afford it, so I agreed to put
it on hold until we were more financially stable. I
(03:55):
should mention. At the same time all of this was
going on, I was writing books. Wanted to be an author,
so I was constantly writing short stories, novellas, et cetera,
in hopes of one day selling. Traditionally, my boyfriend never
read anything I wrote and insisted it was a nepotism
game and I never sell something, So it was foolish
(04:15):
dream really messed up that he never read anything you wrote, Like,
I can't imagine being with a partner who like, never
read anything I wrote. Yeah, or like as a person
who writes.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Or never watch a YouTube video you were on, never
came to one of my shows. That's not supporting. He's
not supporting you. That's that's what it looks like.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yeah, I dang.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I support my girlfriend. She got She made me toe
bag and I barely take it out because it's so specially.
I ruined so many things.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
You can't take it out.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I kept doing it anyway. I love to write. I
met my best friend while writing. I was looking for
a translation for something, and she offered to translate it
for me. We kept talking after that, and we became
very close. She lived in France, and we texted each
other ever for hours a day. She kept me company
during very long days at work where I had nothing
to do but wait for an email or phone to ring.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I see you.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Because there was no one local I could really be
friends with. She became my only real contact that I had.
I loved her dearly.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Are they in France right now?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
I see you?
Speaker 1 (05:18):
No? No, the friend lived in France. I don't know
if a pie.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Still I see you. Okay, Fringe activities are about to happen.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Fringe activities. After my boyfriend and I were together for
ten years, you were with him for ten years, and
he never read any of your writing.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
He did have the time, he was too busy looking
for people to seize opportunities and his potential yikes.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
We agreed to get married. I invited my best friend
to be my maid of honor, and she flew over
from France. He still had no money, and because of
various tensions with family members, we basically eloped. It was
just me, my boyfriend turned husband, his best friend and mine.
We went to the courthouse, exchanged private vows separately at
a park and for a lovely long walk across a
(06:01):
beautiful bridge, and at sushi for dinner. It was lovely
at the time, barely costing more than a few hundred dollars,
though in retrospect I do miss the fact I never
got a proper wedding, and wonder if the lack of
care leading up to it meant more than it seemed
at the time. His mother, who knew all about this
in advance, did not agree. She refused to speak or
(06:24):
see me afterwards because of the disrespect. She never told
us she didn't approve of us getting eloped, but she
blamed me for the wedding anyway. While we did interact afterwards,
it was always very strained and even worse than it
had been before, always subtle digs in clear signs she
did not like me, despite me being in their family
and living by them for over a decade. At this point,
(06:47):
my husband respected her opinion greatly, so her lack of
affection only further caused strain between us.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Dude, I've almost got in a relationship like this family
did not like me. I don't know, people comment below
my thought. If your family doesn't like if the partner's
family don't doesn't like you, limiting contact. Yeah, so you're
not exposed to that resentment every time, all the time,
because do you know how many little wedges it takes
(07:14):
to break open a rock on a lot a lot
a lot, one big one, yes, one big one, But
whenever you have a lot a lot of small ones
that every day are Yeah, guess what's gonna happen to
the rock?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Shatter? Split? Feel like this is a test you're right,
but that was rocks. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Your rock knowledge is.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Very limited, so limited. Throughout all this, my husband's work
life was complicated. His mom's company sold, so he started
working at a wedding venue. He'd run bar on weekend
weddings and do grounds keeping work at the venue during
the week off and on. It meant that I'd be
working full time nine to five, not including the one
point five hour commute Monday through Friday, and he'd be
working twelve hour more shifts over the weekend and do
(07:58):
very little during the week. If I asked to do something,
go out to dinner, take a walk, visit some colleagues
that I was becoming friendly with and hoping to make
friends with, Visit my own family that happened to be around.
He was always busy on weekends, and he was too
tired during the week. How was he too tired during
the week?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yeah, you need after two twelve hour shifts, I feel
like you need like two or three days, yeah, to
get ahead of it.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yeah, I don't know. We do to twelve hour ships
a week, Like, Yeah, maybe he's doing more on his feet,
but it's at a bar, so it's not like super like,
you know, he's not doing the groundskeeping work for twelve hours.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Also, I think your activity outside of where you work
also reflects how tired you are, because I feel like
the more you do outside of your work that like
I've gotten more energy recently because I'm working out more.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, I have less energy because I haven't been able
to work out.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yeah, so dank sure that's my thought. Uh this again
not supporting you. You want to do these things? Lack
of support.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
I felt very isolated and alone. He already had one
dog and cat, but the dog was my husband's and
he refused to let me do anything with her because
she was his dog. You guys are married, what So
I got a dog for myself and adored him. I
took my dog everywhere, and while it wasn't the best
dog in the world, he was my dog and my buddy.
My husband hated my dog. He constantly put him down,
(09:20):
called him stupid, insisted he was my responsibility and mine alone.
If my dog threw up in the middle of the
night and my husband noticed it while going to the bathroom,
he would wake me up and tell me to clean
up my dog's mess. If my dog chewed garbage. It
was my dog and my problem. I would always take
care of things if his dog caused trouble, but my
dog was my responsibility. And yes, when he was upset,
(09:43):
he did hit or throw my dog across the room.
I excuse this behavior because he would always tell me
he didn't hit the dog that hard and that he
had to be an alpha and it wasn't really armful
because he never hit me.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
What.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
No, there's different ways to be an alpha through a dog.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I I'm sorry he hit and threw the dog across
the room. That's full on animal abuse. Yeah. Also I
leave that man. And also his excuse of well, it's
fine because I didn't hit the dog that hard and
I've never hit you. Concerning super concerning.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Because first i'd probably hit you and then the dog.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Yeah, he's like, well I haven't. Like imagine telling someone that, Like,
imagine telling your friend they were like, oh my god,
he hits the dog and you're like, no, no, no, don't
worry because he said he didn't hit me, so it's fine.
I'd be like, he said, what, dude, girl, why would
even bring that up?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
You should see clearly now the red flag's there, yes,
but over time, I was very aware of the fact
that my husband was becoming angrier and angrier, and I.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Would be doing what I could not to make him
mad and worried about what would be the next thing
that would set him off. You are an abusive relationship.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
There you go definition right there, and.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
It's gonna be really hard to get out of because
you can't see that right now. But I really hope
that you have a support system around you. My husband
would continue to say he hated his job, but when
it came to looking for other jobs, he would only
submit one application at a time and wait to hear back,
rather than doing batch submissions. He refused to let me
look at his resume, even though I consistently always was
(11:16):
hired very quickly when I transitioned to increasingly more high
paying jobs. To try to cover our bills, he would
create businesses. I would cover bills and try to manage
things and always offer support. His businesses continued to fail
because he just never did anything to actually get out
and market himself appropriately, So he'd continue working at the
wedding venue but complain NonStop about it. It was exhausting.
(11:40):
Time went on and politics became politics, and after Trump
was first elected president. My husband decided he didn't want
to stay in the country anymore and we should think
of immigrating. He told me that the best way to
get a visa was to be a student, and suggested
I could finally go to graduate school so we could
start an immigration process elsewhere. I was ecstatic and looked
(12:02):
up all the foreign universities that I had programs I really
wanted to take. He vetoed almost all of them. Leave
him and then go to those foreign universities.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
The only pattern that I see that this relationship is
working is when he's using you.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Yes. Yeah, when he wants something, he's like, Okay, you
can go to university because I want to leave the country.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
He vetoed almost all of them, explaining where he wanted
to live and what lifestyle he wanted. No cities, no
big infrastructures. He wanted to stay rural.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Dude, what are you going to do?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Oh, so you're not going to find a graduate school.
It's going to be very hard to find a graduate
school in a rural.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Area unless you do it online. Yeah, which I don't
think anyone. Hey, I'm going to go to the University
of China. But he couldn't do it online.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Yeah. Crazy. He selected the area he wanted to move to,
and I said that the universities there had only course
adjacent things to the topic that I wanted to study,
medieval history. There were history programs, but nothing I had
originally been interested in. He insisted that, and since it
felt like the only way to both move and get
the degree I wanted, I agreed to apply. I was
(13:06):
accepted at both schools I applied to, and we selected
one school and we moved. Why so frustrating. I don't
want you to do this for him? Leave for yourself.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
I was given a full ride for the university, but
because I wasn't working, I took out a student loan
to cover my living expenses over the two years to
get my MA. My husband said he would look for work.
While all of this was going on, my best friend
and I continued to be very close. And now you're
presumably I don't know where you guys moved to a.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Bit, Yeah, I would say, probably not by much.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah, definitely, now maybe in.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Europe instead of halfway across the world, you're just now
the country's way countries away.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
And my husband and hers started to get close as well.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Oh no, Like I said, for French activities.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
We'd play online video games together and chat con instantly.
But I noticed in the year before we moved out
of the country that she started talking to me less
and less and to him more and more because of
the time difference. I would be working while she was
off work in France, he'd be home during the weekdays,
and so they'd start playing video games together. She stopped
(14:18):
texting me during my workday because she was playing games
with him. I mentioned I felt sad because, hey, you're
my friend and I'm working a receptionist job. It would
be nice to have someone to talk to while waiting
for a phone ring. But I was also of the
belief that it wasn't fair to monopolize anyone's time, and
if she and my husband were friends, that was good, right,
(14:39):
we can all be friends together, and since I trusted
them both bad idea, then it didn't matter if they
enjoyed spending time with each other. I was just being
jealous for no reason.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
And I wonder how you thought that way, oh man.
As if there was a light that was powered by
gas and your husband gave.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
It to you and he's really good. He's really good
using it. Still, I started to feel left out. Yeah,
rightfully so. My friend also was having personal issues with
her late parts. I won't go into detail here, but
she would discuss them with me in detail for a
while and I would try to comfort her. But after
a while I felt very uncomfortable with her describing the
(15:19):
specific details of her parts to me, and I very
awkwardly eventually asked her not to discuss it with me.
My husband felt it was unfair that I was withdrawing
my support from her when she needed that support. I
think she needs a gynecologist.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
I'm not a gown jelly, but I'll take a look
if it was one person. Sorry, that's just a joke.
They say they made t shirts of this.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
And that if I was a real friend I should
be there for her since she had no one else. Bro,
she's you're not her guy to collogists.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Yeah, dude. Also, you're doing it again. You're doing tell
me you need something from your wife, you're giving it
get to her.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
It's like you should be there, and because you're not there,
I'll be there for her.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Well, he's probably like, I don't want to hear about
these girl parts you gotta. I can't do it, dude.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
He asked if I was comfortable with him still discussing
the issues with her.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Like I said, she's got a she's got a cave,
and somebodies need to park in there. Need somebody to
park in there.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Terrible. And I told him I was still uncomfortable, but
I eventually agreed because I felt so guilty about withdrawing
support from her. Girl. He just asked you if he
could talk about her like that is totally inappropriate, Babe.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
I think I can help her.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
I want to be I realized I have a great
passion to be a guynecologist.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
All of a sudden.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
But I didn't freelance. Our conversations continue to dwindle. When
we moved and I started to graduate work, it was
even worse.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Dude. I'm sorry, I see t shirt. Potentially freelance guy.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
My husband's previous work ethic continued. He sent out one
or two applications but never heard back, and he started
complaining about it. Where he was getting immigrant jobs like
being weight staff or box moving, et cetera. And he
was better than that. Dude. You were literally working as
a bartender before. What other experience do you have but.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Didn't you See, he has so much potential and people
just assume he doesn't have it, but he does, and
they should assume that he does have potential and just
give it to him because he's really smart.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yeah, remember the same it's literally the same excuses he
was using back home, different ball game, except now he
has a different excuse. He's saying, Oh, because I'm an
immigrant in this country, that's why, dude.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I think it's just you know, you're also from the
United States, and you've given you have so many more
other resources and opportunities that other people haven't had, so
you can also use that.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Yep, you could literally student loans paid off. Dude.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Yeah, you could literally learn another language and be a
second language teacher or whatever. You can do that.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
He insisted how unfair it was. He was a white
male American, he had a BA in criminal justice. He
absolutely could have gotten a better job, but he kept
refusing to let me help with the CV and he
would not that submit for work. He's not trying at all.
He just one application, then wait four weeks before submitting another.
(18:25):
They spend all day chatting with each other. Yeah, he's
not spending any time frying of fine jobs. I'd be
in school all day and then come home to write
papers and study. My loans paid all our bills. They
did invite me to play a game with them, but
I hated the game they were playing and I needed
to study, so it just gave up and tapped out.
But I got more and more resentful because I never
(18:47):
got to spend time with either of them anymore. While
they were playing online games together. They're cheating on you. Yep,
on our twelve year anniversary.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
I can't wait.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
No, no, together with him for twelve No.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I need to piss up. I need to pit stop.
What is this man about the pool in your twelve
year anniversary?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
You're twelve year anniversary.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
It's about to come up with a secret. Does he
have a new plan? Is he gonna go to France? Now?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
He's like, I have to Well, she's I think they
might be in France because they're they're hanging out so
much with this woman. So I thought it was just
virtually no, No, they're hanging on in person, what I think?
So what? Unless I misread that, I'm pretty sure they're
hanging out.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
It's just video games. If they're hanging in person. Do
we already know what's happening?
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Oh? Maybe they are hanging out virtually. Oh that's yeah.
Maybe maybe that makes win.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I don't know. I don't know, but I do, girl,
I don't. What does ope need? I mean, I know
she knows. She keeps saying, then boyfriend, But what what's
her line here? You know?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Oh? Yeah, they played online video games.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Okay, so definitely emotionally cheating, definitely being on Discord Servers
overnight saying my little kitten. Yeah, he's definitely telling her
about how he's aspiring to be a freelanceing gynecologist and
all the things he's looking to help.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Her out with. It's like her first client.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Sign me up?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Ah good? Not good. On our twelve year anniversary, ah,
my husband and I went out to a restaurant and
he couldn't stop bringing her up. I furiously asked if
we could go one night without mentioning her name. Oh gosh,
and he said I was acting irrationally. She's his friend too,
and I was at fair that he can't mention his
friends around me. I felt like she wasn't my friend anymore,
(20:24):
and I admittedly called her a witch and several names
that weren't nice because I was so resentful of how
they were treating me. I was told again I was overreacting.
They were being nothing but nice to me, and they
were allowed to be friends. It wasn't fair to isolate
them when they were doing nothing wrong. I was also
reminded that it was my fault for not being a
(20:45):
better support for my friend. She was only talking to
him more because she needed out with her medical issue.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
He's not a doctor, yeah he is. He's a freelance
kuyd in college is fat.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
And I already told them both that I didn't want
to discuss her issue. So it was on me for
giving permission for them to speak, and on me for
getting upset when they were doing exactly what I told them.
I felt more guilty gos fighting. She came to visit
us a week later for my birthday, and everything felt
awkward and sour. I has been admitted he hated living
(21:18):
in the country we're in and suggested that we look
at moving to France. I wonder why, hell no, what's
in France?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Way shock activities?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Maybe he can professionally become a guy to cologist in France.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Dude, you're not going to get a job there. You
don't know French. I know that You're.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Man doesn't know a thing. He doesn't he doesn't know
a thing.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Oh dude, I have so many thoughts about this guy.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
I was so exhausted by his refusal to look for
work and everything else that I just said, I'm only
half a semester into my degree. We can't move to
France right now. He suggested he could go first check
it out and we could look into moving later.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Stop stop it stop stop stop stop stop stop stop
stop we already stop.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Uh huh dude, Yeah, maybe he has a place to
stay already. Pro maybe he has a bed to share already.
I just said, fine, oh my gosh, and she would
return to France together. He'd look at the area and
see if it suited our needs, and he'd report back
if he liked it. He booked a flight on her
plane out, and the departure at the airport was excruciatingly depressing.
(22:22):
A few days later, he texted me how happy he
was there and now I'd love it. I told him
I missed him, and after a pause, he told me
he didn't miss me.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
I hung up on him, and he texted me that
he wanted a divorce.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
No, and I bet you tim bucks. He bought a
one play one way ticket there. Yeah, one way ticket
to France.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
It was the start of finals week for my first
term in graduate school. He literally just wanted a ticket
into the country. He wanted to use you to get
a visa here.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
He did all that, and now you're stuck halfway through
a semester doing something he suggests so to make him happy,
and you're stuck with that.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
He gave me a list of my faults. I didn't
clean the house the way he preferred. I didn't brush
my teeth good enough. I brushed them with neurotic attention
because he kept pounding me about it. He hated the pets.
He felt like I wanted a caretaker more than a husband.
I admit not cleaning her cooking much, but I was
working NonStop and my loans were what kept us afloat. Yeah,
he wasn't doing anything. He played video games throughout the
(23:26):
work week, and I'd come home to find him continuing
to play games with my friend. I could have cleaned
and done more, but honestly, he was already home, and
I felt like he could at least keep the house clean.
He insisted he wasn't having an affair, right, Yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yeah, of course, no fringe activities.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
At the time, I really wanted to believe him, even
so I texted my friend I never wanted to speak
to her again. I also asked him if I could
keep all the pets, including his dog, since I did
love her, and he agreed by saying, if you're going
to extort me for the dog, then fine, take her.
He didn't get about his dog. I thanked him and
moved on. The only other thing I asked for is
that he tell me when his father passes, because I
(24:06):
loved his father, baring him my much and even called
him dad. He agreed and asked me for four k
I just said yes because I was tired what he said. Yeah,
I'll tell you if my dad bashes, but you have
to pay me four thousand dollars. Dude, stop agreeing to
everything he does.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
My gosh, stop it.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
What This man's a freaking cheater.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Hey, Hey, it sucks we're breaking up. Could you also
just give me four grand?
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Please? And you just said yes. You didn't have to
say yes.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Well, technically he was there to give her support and
clean the house and cook. Remember that he didn't do
any of that though, Yeah he did, don't you remember?
Don't you remember, Sophia, This whole story's been about that.
Like that's how much gas lining has been going on
where he got he How can you break up with
someone moved to another country with her friend and did
get four k? How How does he have this kind
(24:57):
of control?
Speaker 1 (24:58):
It's crazy. He said we would absolute stay in touch
and still be friends afterwards. Okay, I believe him. We
finalized the divorce at the end of February twenty twenty.
Yay the vid. I was forced to move back in
with my parents. They had a secondary home nearby. After
also working to immigrate because of the VID, I just
did my studies long distance. Then I find out that
(25:19):
my student loan payment was not enough to give him
four k. Also, I don't even think you could give
him that four k from a student loan payment. Student
loan payments are for student loans, not for whatever he's
using them for. Uh.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
He actually, don't you remember his freelance gayonecologists. Yeah, courses
he's taking. Yeah, he needs four grand to help her
his friend.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
He got to help his friend, he's.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Got to how selfish? How selfish are you got to
get four grand I.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Told him I didn't have the money to give it
to him. He didn't even let me explain why. He
just ended the call. I never spoke to him again.
So much for being friends, Op, you need therapy so desperately.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Dude, she doesn't even know.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Would you want to be friends with this crazy man?
Speaker 3 (26:02):
What?
Speaker 1 (26:03):
And then in the span of a year, all three
pets passed away, one of them very suddenly. Aside from
my parents, I was very alone, with no friends in
a foreign country, trying to complete my graduate studies, feeling
betrayed by the people I love most in the world,
I fell into a deep depression. Work became the only
thing I could do in order to function, because it
(26:25):
kept me from thinking about anything else. I was one
of the few people who completed their MA on time
during the VID at my university because I just didn't
give myself time to stop. I finished with a four
point zero and a degree I hadn't even wanted to
get in the first place. I was now a medical
historian rather than a medieval historian.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Bobee, this is the same thing. This, This is what
the boyfriend said, Bobee, they both start with IM just
become a medical same thing.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I kept working. I tried getting into a PhD program,
and very few unifies were accepting new students because of
the VID. Someone I had applied to forwarded me an
application for a project that was completely different from everything
I'd ever done, still in medical history, but so extremely
contemporary that it was nothing close to my research profile.
I submitted an application anyway, because unlike my husband, I
(27:18):
always submit to jobs and make a decision after I
got hired. I got hired. It was in France, dude, stop.
I moved to France in October twenty twenty one, taught
myself a language and didn't speak, took care of a
home without a caretaker. Husband, adopted a new pupper so
I could finally no longer be alone after the huge
losses of twenty twenty and twenty twenty one. A pup
(27:40):
that is never and will never be treated the way
my ex treated my old dog. I mean again, if
you have a partner who's mistreating your animals, please don't
say with that partner, get that get that animal out
of that situation, big thing.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Please break up with them.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Too, And yesterday I defended my PhD ranked very good
and excellent and with an enthusiastic encouraging me to publish
and a transition into public policy work. It's work I'm
genuinely excited about, and it's focused in a domain where
I can do a lot of global health good. And
while all this was going on, because I continue to
write novels. In twenty twenty three, I submitted a novel
(28:15):
to a literary agent, got a deal, and sold it
to a big five publisher. Oh wow, it was just
published last month, and my advance is enough to pay
off all of my outstanding student loans. So far, reviews
are going well.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Heck, yeah, man, this is is a fever dream. Not
like a fever dream, but.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Like what everything really turned around for a b see?
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Okay, remember whenever the boyfriend was like, I have so
much potential, I'm so smart. Yeah, and she said that,
I was like, in order for you to actually achieve that,
you need to have like a downfall of drive or
downfall of some sort for you to achieve that.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Yeah, and what happened? B Yeah, she hit kind of
rock bottom, was treated terribly by people around her, was
not pursuing any of her own dreams for like, you
know what she wanted to do, and then hit this
rock bottom moment and was like, I have the drive
to actually get myself out of it, and.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Did and did, because when you rock bottom, what's the
only way to go up? That's right, dude, It's crazy.
The whole time, you were the smart and intelligent one.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Yeah, man, he was just putting you down. My two
major life goals have been accomplished between one month of
each other, and I have made a new list of
goals to achieve that I'm very much looking forward to
working on to No one's surprised my ex husband and
ex best friend are married to each other.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
They got married a year after our divorce. He is
listed as working at a business where he fabricates clothing
or some sort. The man never once picked up a
needle in all our time working together. I almost guarantee
it's another nonsense business he made up. There's no marketing,
no signs, no way to contact the store, no storefront.
It's a joke. But he's living in France. We're on
(29:54):
opposite sides of the country. I have not run into
either of them. I hope they're very happy together. Unburning
moment of rage was only this. I discovered his dad
passed last year on my own. No one told me,
no one reached out. I guess he was still bitter
that he lost four thousand dollars. He didn't lose four
thousand dollars. He never had four thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
He just he just said, I wonder to earn. You
just get four thousand dollars from this.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Chick, and you almost give it him.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
That does suck having to learn. I was, I'm surprised
you didn't stay in contact with like his mom though.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Yeah, well maybe the mom's not around or like past.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Yeah, I don't know. I don't think I would have
gave him the responsibility to do that. Yeah, I'd probably
reach out to his sister something like such sort of
family member.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
But it broke my heart and I definitely cried. This
is where the question comes in. My sister loathes my
ex husband. She wants nothing more than to take a
copy of my dissertation in my book and mail it
to him. His address is publicly listed because of this
fake business of him, and tell him just how stupid
he was for constantly diminishing me this whole time. She
(31:00):
wants to list all of his flaws and rake him
through the calls for his behavior. By the way, I'd
rake you, guys if through the calls, if you didn't
listen to full episodes of stories just like this. Yeah,
just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast, or iHeart Radio and
search up Okus storytime. There is a little bit left
to this story.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Should she do it?
Speaker 1 (31:18):
I don't think so. I think you should. You are
in a great place your You know, you got this
book published, you got the dissertation, You're happy living in
France on your own, you got your sister supporting you.
Don't bring him back into your life.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
You're punching thin air.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Dude, he's gone. Let him stay gone.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Yeah yeah, and also how much hold in gas lining
you put op through. He could probably do it again
and re answer it to her life.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
I don't want him to come back and see that
she's successful and be like, oh my god, like I
would love to do like I've always loved you, blah blahlah,
because I feel like Ope would take him back.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Yeah, don't don't.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Let him worm his way back into your life, Hope.
Let him stay gone.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Yeah, honestly, sister, write the letter, send it to some address,
don't send.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
It to him.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Yeah, and then they're like, what is you have a
link to the post bo It's like oh wow, wow, okay,
this makes so much sense.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Yeah, they're like, wow, this is a good.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Book commenter here. Hey, I actually got the book and letter,
and that was a lot.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
But there is a little bit left. Hey, it's Sam.
We're gonna get back to these stories. But here's three
bits of ads from our sponsors that keep the show alive.
A part of me is happy to let her do
it and rub my accomplishments and my success in their faces,
but another part of me doesn't want the drama that
it might punt up. Yeah don't. I don't have anything
nice to say to them. I do hope they'll be
happy together, since clearly it was worth ruining my life
(32:50):
at the time for their happiness. Gosh, it's a miracle
I pulled through as well as I did. But I
also don't want to be aware of them anymore. And
somehow I feel like this will just make things messy.
Then again, after all the time I've been put down,
it's nice to have someone stand up for me, and
there is a part of me that can't help thinking
(33:10):
he could have had everything he wanted if he just
stayed patient. We could be living in France together, having
a beautiful life, with a PhD that I've grown to
love and cherish and be proud of, and a book
deal that's helping to fund my lifestyle. But instead, he
was a failure of a partner and a man, and
he deserves to be ashamed.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
He didn't want that life with you.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
The thing is that you were never going to get
that life with him. If you stayed with him, like
there was no patience, he would have brought you down
with them.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
I still feel hints of OPI hoping that it worked out. Yeah,
Like I mean, yeah, she's not over him, She's with
him for twelve years.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
That's true. So would I be the ale if I
let my sister go through with their plans? What'd be
the a hole? But it wouldn't be good be the
ale to yourself. This isn't revenge, Yeah, it doesn't do
anything nothing.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
It feels like you just wanted we click baited ourselves.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Yeah, it just feels like you want to send it
with Tim so that he realizes that he made a
mistake and that that's crawling back or really the love
of his life, Like, don't don't try and learn back.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
She needs to go fall in love, not like with
another person or yeah frenchman, but she just needs to
fall in love with life and also other things. My
ex boyfriend repeatedly cheated on me. Now he wants another chance. Nope, bye,
I have no definite proof that he actually went any
further than matching with women on dating apps. That's cheating
because he deleted everything. Backstory. We've been together exclusively for
(34:37):
six months, but I've been seeing each other for ten.
There have been many instances where I've caught him lying
directly to my face about how he knows someone while
we were not exclusive. He would tell me a girl
he follows is just a friend of a friend, when
I really knew he met her on a dating app.
He also tells me I was the only girl he
(34:59):
was talking to, when I knew that wasn't true. By
the way, this comes from Throwaway fifty nine, and if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r sash Okay storytomp superate. So yesterday evening I had
a disgusting feeling. I felt so gross. I felt such
a bad feeling that something was off. I had never
once gone through his phone or pride into his private life. Wait,
(35:21):
aren't you a part of his private life?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Yeah? I think just meaning like on his private like stuff.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Got it well, he was out getting groceries. I checked
his Emo since it was logged into my laptop once.
He had emails from Tender indicating he had new matches
for months.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Hit emails from Tinder. Man was getting emails from Tinder.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
I get emails from due Lingo saying I need to
do stuff like this is just marketing for apps. I think,
got your emails, They'll just do whatever they can.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Crazy.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Months we were together. If a Tender account is an
active for more than seven days, you're not visible to others,
so there should be no reason this is happening. I
should have just waited for him to get to my
house to confront him, but I couldn't hold it in,
so I facetimed him and asked him to go through
(36:14):
his phone. By the way, you can FaceTime someone and
also go through their phone while face timing, that's true.
I was like I was like doing I was facetiming
aergie one time and I was like, here, let me
like control your phone so I can like like do
something like edit something while she was adding the video,
and I was like, wait, I could literally be on
FaceTime with you and go through your phone while you're
there and I don't have to be there.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
I was like, dude, do you have games on your phone?
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Dude, there's someone that has done that.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Probably.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Oh my goshike get a redownload tender where I saw
he had matches as recent.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
As eight days ago.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
I was on a business trip eight days ago. He's
wore up and down that he didn't have the app
while I was gone, despite having two matches from that time.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Come on, like, I feel like we always these cheating
stories and they're like, oh no, I don't know why.
It must be a glitch.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
No, someone hacked my phone.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
No it was you.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
I didn't. I told him one of my house immediately,
as soon as he walks inside, he tells me he
deleted his tender a ground because he's serious about me
and never wants to use the app again.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Y'all have been dating. What do you mean he's serious
about you? You were dating, You were officially dating.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
He's finally got his mind made up.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
It is like, I know that we've been officially dating
for six months, but I realize now after we've been
officially dating, that I am serious.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
I started thinking of my past and I was like,
you know what, I'm gonna be serious.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
I was serious from now on, starting now.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
I was furious because he knew I wanted to look
through it myself. Who knows what else could have been deleted.
Here's his original story. He downloaded Tender twice throughout the
beginning of our relationship, never kept it any longer than
a day, and was rarely never really on it. He
said he wasn't thinking when he did it, and it
(38:08):
was just an ego thing for him. He swore it
never responded to messages, send any messages, or met up
with anyone. I have no proof of that because he
deleted his account. I didn't find anything in his tax messages.
He said he wasn't swiping on anyone. You would just
see the name of someone who liked him, swipe right
on her and just wait for her to send him
(38:29):
a message. Here's what I got him to admit. He
redownloaded Tender at least ten times while we were together.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Done, break up. Bye, You're done. I don't want to
see you were at these parts anymore.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Son what he said he would do it when he
was bored at work, and he wasn't thinking. You know
how much thought it takes to go in your app,
search up a word in the search bar and hit buttons.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Come on, come on?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
He wasn't thinking, you know what I have to do?
That requires zero thinking? Walking, walking, breathing, breathing, blinking, blinking.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Probably it would have been easier to text your girlfriend
if you were bored. I don't know if you need to.
If you're feeling spicy, spicy texture, I don't care, text
your girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Yep, there you go. He said he would swipe ride
on women when pop was attractive, but he would never
initiate anything. He lied to me about watching Corn. He
told me he didn't watch it. I told him before
that I don't care if he does. I just don't
want to know. He constantly assured me he didn't watch it.
Prior admitting to this, he received a message from a
(39:41):
random woman on social media, which I found screenshots of
in his camera roll, the message and profile. I asked
him why I had these screenshots he said he showed
his friends. I couldn't find any proof in his messages
that he actually showed them unless he deleted it, so
I have no idea what he said. He said he
had no intention on telling me about the message, but
(40:04):
decided to brag to his buddies instead. I felt so broken.
I've given this man one hundred and ten percent and
he half budded our whole relationship. I've had to beg
for the bare minimum so many times just to find
out that he's cheating on me behind my back.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Trash, trash man, trash to the dumb sight, Go get
him a truck because he's the garbage man.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
I know what to do.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Breakup, Oh, there we go, easy what I had no.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
Idea, that was never thought. Breaking up facts.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
Facts. We had one last conversation. Oh, it was a
breakup conversation where I just tore him apart. I told
him he doesn't do anything, and he was a bad boyfriend,
bad and also.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
He cheated on you.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Bad boyfriend, bad boyfriend. And we went back to things
as normal.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
No. I was ridding, Okay, no, no, that's all.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
You gotta do these days. Just tell your boyfriend he's bad.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah, and he's like, you're right, You're right.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
He says he can change, he can't and wants to
prove to me that he can't. He says he planned
his whole future around us. He's so gonna do whatever
he can to make it work. You gotta believe him, Sophia.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
I don't believe him.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
He's gonna make it work.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
I don't believe him.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
I told him, I can't believe he's going to change
because all I've known from him is half butt effort.
He said he's going to take time to change, show
me that he's capable put in an effort, and it's
something he said. He's worried he has underlying issues gonna
make him act this way. No, because he's never done
this before. Ow Hes and Sophia, this is the best
(41:42):
relationship he's ever had.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
By hate this man.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
I don't I don't know why I do these things, Dude.
It must be something in my.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Past, dude, Okay, okay, okay, it probably wasn't a hackerize
he was hypnotized, Sophia.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
He's like, oh he was.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
I went to this like this magic show, and I
think he did something to my brain.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Dude, you're the problem. Leave this man. He can't even
own up to what he did. This is the brush
relationship by bebar Rhud.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
What are you talking about? He he knows he's able
to change.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Bye bye.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
He said he's going to seek professional help and quit
his bad habits. Like Tinder, we kind of left it
on an open note, like what we want to work out,
but he needs to do some serious work on his end.
Bad boyfriend. I don't know. I haven't done anything yet.
I'm the one that's having to pick up the pieces.
I got a puppy during the time we were together,
(42:42):
and he was amazing and helping me with her. It
felt so nice, like we have a little family together.
It's hard coping with that loss where I stand. I
just don't know of making it work as possible. Has
anyone been in a similar position? Were you able to
make it work? I just don't know if I'll ever
get over the fact that I won't know. I won't
know how bad it really was. I won't know if
(43:02):
he was really telling me the truth.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
And I'm not telling you the truth, and.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
I won't know the reason why he did it.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
He did it because he didn't be stupid.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Any advice is appreciated. Edit he just admitted at least
twenty times. We got an up date.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.
But here's three of bits of bads from our sponsors
that keep the show alive.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
We got an update. Ah, Sophia's hitting herself.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Yeah we so it went from two to ten to twenty. Sophia.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
He's changing, He's omitted his flaws. He's like getting through this.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
The only thing he's changing is his profile.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Sophia, I don't really think you understand his effort he's
putting into this.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
I hate this man from the bottom of my heart.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Also, like in a story we read earlier today, you
were as stupid as him. If you continue this.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Relationship, yeah, well I don't want to. I don't want
to be so rshapie because I think he's manipulative. But like, girl,
come on, we know what he's doing. We know he's lying.
You don't need to know why he went on tender.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
We already know why.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
He's like wants a cheat. Cheeters just want to cheat, man.
They don't need a reason.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Because the change gonna cheat.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Leave this man, that's my advice for you to leave him.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Update. I got some new information. This is my last post.
He originally told me it was ten times at the
beginning of our relationship, and then he stopped. I texted
him after our last conversation because it didn't add up.
That's when he told me it was actually every week
or every other week throughout the whole relationship, so at
least twenty times. He insists it was just re downloading
(44:44):
the app, swiping on a few people, reading the messages,
and then deleting it no harm. He said he never
messaged anyone or took it further than just the match.
When he did share his screen with me. I did
see that that appeared to be true unless he unmatched
with people, which he insisted he didn't, and he didn't
(45:05):
know how to do.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
His freaking mother Terre say he's never told a lie,
come on, or Abraham Leagan, Yeah, that's maybe better.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
I didn't know. Murther Dresa was cool like that.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Actually, she probably told lies. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
He also admitted that he lied about the severity when
he told his friends, but sent me a screenshot of
him texting them and admitted he lied and then telling
them the truth. They had both said they were disappointed
and could feel bad for him, but they were glad
he's working on himself. Now, this is what happened. This
is what actually happened. Hey, guys, So I'm gonna send
(45:37):
you a text message saying I feel bad and I
want you guys to say you're disappointed, but also they're
proud of me for working.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
Call myself exactly what happened.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Okay, now text ou. I'm gonna send text message in
a minute. Okay, did you want to go? He continues
to say, but he doesn't have a good reason for
why he did it, and that it wasn't serious as
all to him, which is why he is difficult. He
remembering the specific dates and times he was on there.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
Because he did it so many times.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
Before I left my business trip about two to three
weeks ago. We had a brief conversation where I told
him it's one of my worst fears to get cheated
on while away from home because there's absolutely nothing I
can do. Hey, Sophia, don't think about elephants.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
It's too late. It's too late.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
I just have to cope from afar. He admitted he
may have used tender while I was gone. But once again,
no messages, no meeting, nothing.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
What do you mean he may have he ether did
or he didn't.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
And we know he did Sofia, it's not that serious.
He doesn't remember, you said.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
I remember, but I could have used tender may I'm
not quite sure. I forgot. There were a lot of messages.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
It's not that serious, of course, is memory fades.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
Memory phages. None of them were like you, babe, do.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
You remember what you made for lunch last week, today,
last Wednesday? Just like that. It wasn't it wasn't that
big for me. I don't remember.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Since then he showed me proof of making a therapy appointment.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
We already know that you can make appointment.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
Him throwing away all his vapes and yeah, he says
he's going to send me pictures of his bank statements
and screen time every week to prove he'sn't vuying more
vapes like cash doesn't exist, that he is actually going
to therapy, and that he's going to produce time spent
on his phone and social media. He also sent me
a huge apology apologizing everything he's ever done wrong, specifically
(47:34):
naming each thing.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
And I'm sorry for messaging Tina, and I'm most so
sorry for messaging Megan. I'm also sorry for that one
time that I met up with Susan. And there's a
couple more to bear with me. It's good take a while.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
Yeah, I can name another thing he definitely didn't do.
What watch more? Okay, story time? Like you can do.
All you gotta go to is your favorite podcast platform?
Search a okay story Time and boom, you can listen
to more crazy stories just like this on iHeartRadio, Spotify
or Apple.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
Don't commit a sin like this, man, don't do it.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
I just don't understand the sudden effort. Now we're broken up,
and I'm pretty confident it's gonna stay that way.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
What you mean pretty confident? What do you mean? Pretty confident?
Speaker 2 (48:15):
F I get back with him, I don't know if
I could ever fully trust him. He's asked us about
going to Copples therapy, and I told him that he
needs to get therapy because there's no us anymore. Okay o,
p okay. He says he's gonna change and going to
prove to me whether I block him or not. I
(48:35):
don't see it working out. I have pretty bad insecurities
and self esteem issues. So this is unfortunately a tough
situation for me. I'm trying to stick out, let everyone
told me and respect myself. Thank you all for the advice.
My brain feels like it's filled with bees. So even
though the answer may be clear to you guys, I
was having a hard time seeing it and edit, he
(48:57):
is blocked.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
Thank goodness. Girl. Proud of you. Girl, out of you.
Oh p I'm proud of you.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
That's how you gotta do it.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
Block him. If someone is telling you that they're going
on tender while they're dating you, bye bye. That's not
your partner, dude, that's tender's partner.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
I haven't seen these kind of like gas lighting tips
and tricks before.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
The thing is that he didn't even really gaslighter. That's
the thing. That's the crazy thing he kind of did.
I mean, besides like lying about how many people he
was messaging, he admitted he was messaging people like he
gaslit her and saying like, oh, but it's the reason. Yeah,
but like he just told her and then he was like,
I don't know why I did it.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
What's scary to me. The most scary thing here, how
easily he brought up these excuses and he just kind
of threw them out.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
He was just like, yeah, I did it, but like
it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (49:51):
This is a pro at work. This man has done
this time and time and time again. Who knows there
might be three more of you out there he's talking.
Speaker 1 (49:58):
To right now. Yeah, probably, folks. That's the end of
that story and the end of this episode. So if
you love us, make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og
Okay Storytime podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Host, and we got some great stories coming up.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Before that, we have a quick two minute break from
the sponsors that keep the show a lot. My ex
husband left me for my best friend. My sister wants
to take revenge. Go the trigger warning for animal abuse.
I thirty three female, was in a relationship with my
ex husband thirty five male, for twelve years, married for
two He was a couple of years ahead of me
(00:25):
in high school and we started dating the week before
I turned sixteen. For the most part, our relationship was
very good, but around college things became stressful. His family
was very conservative and I was very liberal. He was
a more left leaning moderate, and so it wasn't as
much of an issue between us, but there was definitely
a lot of sucking it up around some of his
(00:46):
family members. By the way, this comes from proft Confused
on the Charlotte Debray YouTube subrede it and if you
want to submit your own stories, good to the r
slash Okay Storytime subred it. So the thing about him
was he was a very smart person who just now
he ever actually achieved his full potential. For one reason
or another. He would have a lot of good ideas,
but talk about and did open various businesses, but they
(01:09):
would eventually crumble and he'd go back to doing what
he always did, work for his parents or within his network.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Mmm.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
He wanted to believe he was better than he was,
but he never did anything to actually prove it or
be better. You just expected people to recognize his brilliance
in advance. He was very charming and charismatic. So it
worked when we were in high school and college, not
so much afterwards when he entered the workforce.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
See, I see this because I am similar to this. Yeah,
when you answer the workforce, you have to do it
in a different way.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Plus, and if you're in a comfortable situation, like you know,
I could work for my family, Sawmill, I'd be comfortable.
I wouldn't like it, but I'd be comfortable. You gotta
put yourself in uncomfortable sit you exactly. Gotta he put
himself there, exactly. Yeah, he kind of settled and he
was like, people should just think that I'm brilliant and
get me the opportunities instead of working or showing value first. Exactly,
(02:04):
because you showed value for your brother's podcast for exactly yes,
and I rode for free yep, and then now three
years look where you're at here.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I wanted to go to graduate school as soon as
I finished my undergrad work. He insisted it was a
terrible idea because I had so many student loans already
and I should pay those off before going into more debt.
He wanted to move back to his family and work
for his mom, and I reluctantly agreed it probably made
financial sense. They lived in a very rural area and
(02:34):
finding work was difficult, and often I'd have to drive
forty five minutes or an hour and a half plus
to get to work every day. I didn't have any
friends in the area, and the only people I could
really spend time with were his family. I did love
them despite our differences, especially his dad, but there was
a lot of chafing. My dad retired at one point
and offered to use some of his pension to pay
(02:56):
both mine and my then boyfriend's student loans. I was ecstatic.
I've been drowning under over one thousand dollars a month
payments and it was literally a lifeline. You're wow, thousand dollars,
it's so crazy that your dad offered to pay for
both your payments and your boyfriend's loans.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I thought it was his.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
No, it's it's Ope's dad. Wow, he was going to
use his pension to pay off Ope's and her boyfriend's
student loans.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
So was chafing me, Like Robbie, Yeah, dude, that is
very generous.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Once the loans were paid off, I brought up graduate school.
I wanted to get my PhD. It was important to me.
My boyfriend insisted he didn't want to move, that he
had a job here and his family was here, and
he couldn't afford our household on his own if I
was a full time student. I looked at the universities nearby,
but we couldn't afford it, so I agreed to put
it on hold until we were more financially stable. I
(03:55):
should mention. At the same time all of this was
going on, I was writing books. Wanted to be an author,
so I was constantly writing short stories, novellas, et cetera,
in hopes of one day selling. Traditionally, my boyfriend never
read anything I wrote and insisted it was a nepotism
game and I never sell something, So it was foolish
(04:15):
dream really messed up that he never read anything you wrote, Like,
I can't imagine being with a partner who like, never
read anything I wrote. Yeah, or like as a person
who writes.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Or never watch a YouTube video you were on, never
came to one of my shows. That's not supporting. He's
not supporting you. That's that's what it looks like.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yeah, I dang.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I support my girlfriend. She got She made me toe
bag and I barely take it out because it's so specially.
I ruined so many things.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
You can't take it out.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I kept doing it anyway. I love to write. I
met my best friend while writing. I was looking for
a translation for something, and she offered to translate it
for me. We kept talking after that, and we became
very close. She lived in France, and we texted each
other ever for hours a day. She kept me company
during very long days at work where I had nothing
to do but wait for an email or phone to ring.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I see you.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Because there was no one local I could really be
friends with. She became my only real contact that I had.
I loved her dearly.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Are they in France right now?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
I see you?
Speaker 1 (05:18):
No? No, the friend lived in France. I don't know
if a pie.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Still I see you. Okay, Fringe activities are about to happen.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Fringe activities. After my boyfriend and I were together for
ten years, you were with him for ten years, and
he never read any of your writing.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
He did have the time, he was too busy looking
for people to seize opportunities and his potential yikes.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
We agreed to get married. I invited my best friend
to be my maid of honor, and she flew over
from France. He still had no money, and because of
various tensions with family members, we basically eloped. It was
just me, my boyfriend turned husband, his best friend and mine.
We went to the courthouse, exchanged private vows separately at
a park and for a lovely long walk across a
(06:01):
beautiful bridge, and at sushi for dinner. It was lovely
at the time, barely costing more than a few hundred dollars,
though in retrospect I do miss the fact I never
got a proper wedding, and wonder if the lack of
care leading up to it meant more than it seemed
at the time. His mother, who knew all about this
in advance, did not agree. She refused to speak or
(06:24):
see me afterwards because of the disrespect. She never told
us she didn't approve of us getting eloped, but she
blamed me for the wedding anyway. While we did interact afterwards,
it was always very strained and even worse than it
had been before, always subtle digs in clear signs she
did not like me, despite me being in their family
and living by them for over a decade. At this point,
(06:47):
my husband respected her opinion greatly, so her lack of
affection only further caused strain between us.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Dude, I've almost got in a relationship like this family
did not like me. I don't know, people comment below
my thought. If your family doesn't like if the partner's
family don't doesn't like you, limiting contact. Yeah, so you're
not exposed to that resentment every time, all the time,
because do you know how many little wedges it takes
(07:14):
to break open a rock on a lot a lot
a lot, one big one, yes, one big one, But
whenever you have a lot a lot of small ones
that every day are Yeah, guess what's gonna happen to
the rock?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Shatter? Split? Feel like this is a test you're right,
but that was rocks. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Your rock knowledge is.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Very limited, so limited. Throughout all this, my husband's work
life was complicated. His mom's company sold, so he started
working at a wedding venue. He'd run bar on weekend
weddings and do grounds keeping work at the venue during
the week off and on. It meant that I'd be
working full time nine to five, not including the one
point five hour commute Monday through Friday, and he'd be
working twelve hour more shifts over the weekend and do
(07:58):
very little during the week. If I asked to do something,
go out to dinner, take a walk, visit some colleagues
that I was becoming friendly with and hoping to make
friends with, Visit my own family that happened to be around.
He was always busy on weekends, and he was too
tired during the week. How was he too tired during
the week?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yeah, you need after two twelve hour shifts, I feel
like you need like two or three days, yeah, to
get ahead of it.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yeah, I don't know. We do to twelve hour ships
a week, Like, Yeah, maybe he's doing more on his feet,
but it's at a bar, so it's not like super like,
you know, he's not doing the groundskeeping work for twelve hours.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Also, I think your activity outside of where you work
also reflects how tired you are, because I feel like
the more you do outside of your work that like
I've gotten more energy recently because I'm working out more.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, I have less energy because I haven't been able
to work out.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yeah, so dank sure that's my thought. Uh this again
not supporting you. You want to do these things? Lack
of support.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
I felt very isolated and alone. He already had one
dog and cat, but the dog was my husband's and
he refused to let me do anything with her because
she was his dog. You guys are married, what So
I got a dog for myself and adored him. I
took my dog everywhere, and while it wasn't the best
dog in the world, he was my dog and my buddy.
My husband hated my dog. He constantly put him down,
(09:20):
called him stupid, insisted he was my responsibility and mine alone.
If my dog threw up in the middle of the
night and my husband noticed it while going to the bathroom,
he would wake me up and tell me to clean
up my dog's mess. If my dog chewed garbage. It
was my dog and my problem. I would always take
care of things if his dog caused trouble, but my
dog was my responsibility. And yes, when he was upset,
(09:43):
he did hit or throw my dog across the room.
I excuse this behavior because he would always tell me
he didn't hit the dog that hard and that he
had to be an alpha and it wasn't really armful
because he never hit me.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
What.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
No, there's different ways to be an alpha through a dog.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I I'm sorry he hit and threw the dog across
the room. That's full on animal abuse. Yeah. Also I
leave that man. And also his excuse of well, it's
fine because I didn't hit the dog that hard and
I've never hit you. Concerning super concerning.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Because first i'd probably hit you and then the dog.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Yeah, he's like, well I haven't. Like imagine telling someone that, Like,
imagine telling your friend they were like, oh my god,
he hits the dog and you're like, no, no, no, don't
worry because he said he didn't hit me, so it's fine.
I'd be like, he said, what, dude, girl, why would
even bring that up?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
You should see clearly now the red flag's there, yes,
but over time, I was very aware of the fact
that my husband was becoming angrier and angrier, and I.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Would be doing what I could not to make him
mad and worried about what would be the next thing
that would set him off. You are an abusive relationship.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
There you go definition right there, and.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
It's gonna be really hard to get out of because
you can't see that right now. But I really hope
that you have a support system around you. My husband
would continue to say he hated his job, but when
it came to looking for other jobs, he would only
submit one application at a time and wait to hear back,
rather than doing batch submissions. He refused to let me
look at his resume, even though I consistently always was
(11:16):
hired very quickly when I transitioned to increasingly more high
paying jobs. To try to cover our bills, he would
create businesses. I would cover bills and try to manage
things and always offer support. His businesses continued to fail
because he just never did anything to actually get out
and market himself appropriately, So he'd continue working at the
wedding venue but complain NonStop about it. It was exhausting.
(11:40):
Time went on and politics became politics, and after Trump
was first elected president. My husband decided he didn't want
to stay in the country anymore and we should think
of immigrating. He told me that the best way to
get a visa was to be a student, and suggested
I could finally go to graduate school so we could
start an immigration process elsewhere. I was ecstatic and looked
(12:02):
up all the foreign universities that I had programs I really
wanted to take. He vetoed almost all of them. Leave
him and then go to those foreign universities.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
The only pattern that I see that this relationship is
working is when he's using you.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Yes. Yeah, when he wants something, he's like, Okay, you
can go to university because I want to leave the country.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
He vetoed almost all of them, explaining where he wanted
to live and what lifestyle he wanted. No cities, no
big infrastructures. He wanted to stay rural.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Dude, what are you going to do?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Oh, so you're not going to find a graduate school.
It's going to be very hard to find a graduate
school in a rural.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Area unless you do it online. Yeah, which I don't
think anyone. Hey, I'm going to go to the University
of China. But he couldn't do it online.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Yeah. Crazy. He selected the area he wanted to move to,
and I said that the universities there had only course
adjacent things to the topic that I wanted to study,
medieval history. There were history programs, but nothing I had
originally been interested in. He insisted that, and since it
felt like the only way to both move and get
the degree I wanted, I agreed to apply. I was
(13:06):
accepted at both schools I applied to, and we selected
one school and we moved. Why so frustrating. I don't
want you to do this for him? Leave for yourself.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
I was given a full ride for the university, but
because I wasn't working, I took out a student loan
to cover my living expenses over the two years to
get my MA. My husband said he would look for work.
While all of this was going on, my best friend
and I continued to be very close. And now you're
presumably I don't know where you guys moved to a.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Bit, Yeah, I would say, probably not by much.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah, definitely, now maybe in.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Europe instead of halfway across the world, you're just now
the country's way countries away.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
And my husband and hers started to get close as well.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Oh no, Like I said, for French activities.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
We'd play online video games together and chat con instantly.
But I noticed in the year before we moved out
of the country that she started talking to me less
and less and to him more and more because of
the time difference. I would be working while she was
off work in France, he'd be home during the weekdays,
and so they'd start playing video games together. She stopped
(14:18):
texting me during my workday because she was playing games
with him. I mentioned I felt sad because, hey, you're
my friend and I'm working a receptionist job. It would
be nice to have someone to talk to while waiting
for a phone ring. But I was also of the
belief that it wasn't fair to monopolize anyone's time, and
if she and my husband were friends, that was good, right,
(14:39):
we can all be friends together, and since I trusted
them both bad idea, then it didn't matter if they
enjoyed spending time with each other. I was just being
jealous for no reason.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
And I wonder how you thought that way, oh man.
As if there was a light that was powered by
gas and your husband gave.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
It to you and he's really good. He's really good
using it. Still, I started to feel left out. Yeah,
rightfully so. My friend also was having personal issues with
her late parts. I won't go into detail here, but
she would discuss them with me in detail for a
while and I would try to comfort her. But after
a while I felt very uncomfortable with her describing the
(15:19):
specific details of her parts to me, and I very
awkwardly eventually asked her not to discuss it with me.
My husband felt it was unfair that I was withdrawing
my support from her when she needed that support. I
think she needs a gynecologist.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
I'm not a gown jelly, but I'll take a look
if it was one person. Sorry, that's just a joke.
They say they made t shirts of this.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
And that if I was a real friend I should
be there for her since she had no one else. Bro,
she's you're not her guy to collogists.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Yeah, dude. Also, you're doing it again. You're doing tell
me you need something from your wife, you're giving it
get to her.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
It's like you should be there, and because you're not there,
I'll be there for her.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Well, he's probably like, I don't want to hear about
these girl parts you gotta. I can't do it, dude.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
He asked if I was comfortable with him still discussing
the issues with her.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Like I said, she's got a she's got a cave,
and somebodies need to park in there. Need somebody to
park in there.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Terrible. And I told him I was still uncomfortable, but
I eventually agreed because I felt so guilty about withdrawing
support from her. Girl. He just asked you if he
could talk about her like that is totally inappropriate, Babe.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
I think I can help her.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
I want to be I realized I have a great
passion to be a guynecologist.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
All of a sudden.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
But I didn't freelance. Our conversations continue to dwindle. When
we moved and I started to graduate work, it was
even worse.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Dude. I'm sorry, I see t shirt. Potentially freelance guy.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
My husband's previous work ethic continued. He sent out one
or two applications but never heard back, and he started
complaining about it. Where he was getting immigrant jobs like
being weight staff or box moving, et cetera. And he
was better than that. Dude. You were literally working as
a bartender before. What other experience do you have but.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Didn't you See, he has so much potential and people
just assume he doesn't have it, but he does, and
they should assume that he does have potential and just
give it to him because he's really smart.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yeah, remember the same it's literally the same excuses he
was using back home, different ball game, except now he
has a different excuse. He's saying, Oh, because I'm an
immigrant in this country, that's why, dude.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I think it's just you know, you're also from the
United States, and you've given you have so many more
other resources and opportunities that other people haven't had, so
you can also use that.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Yep, you could literally student loans paid off. Dude.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Yeah, you could literally learn another language and be a
second language teacher or whatever. You can do that.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
He insisted how unfair it was. He was a white
male American, he had a BA in criminal justice. He
absolutely could have gotten a better job, but he kept
refusing to let me help with the CV and he
would not that submit for work. He's not trying at all.
He just one application, then wait four weeks before submitting another.
(18:25):
They spend all day chatting with each other. Yeah, he's
not spending any time frying of fine jobs. I'd be
in school all day and then come home to write
papers and study. My loans paid all our bills. They
did invite me to play a game with them, but
I hated the game they were playing and I needed
to study, so it just gave up and tapped out.
But I got more and more resentful because I never
(18:47):
got to spend time with either of them anymore. While
they were playing online games together. They're cheating on you. Yep,
on our twelve year anniversary.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
I can't wait.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
No, no, together with him for twelve No.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I need to piss up. I need to pit stop.
What is this man about the pool in your twelve
year anniversary?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
You're twelve year anniversary.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
It's about to come up with a secret. Does he
have a new plan? Is he gonna go to France? Now?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
He's like, I have to Well, she's I think they
might be in France because they're they're hanging out so
much with this woman. So I thought it was just
virtually no, No, they're hanging on in person, what I think?
So what? Unless I misread that, I'm pretty sure they're
hanging out.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
It's just video games. If they're hanging in person. Do
we already know what's happening?
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Oh? Maybe they are hanging out virtually. Oh that's yeah.
Maybe maybe that makes win.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I don't know. I don't know, but I do, girl,
I don't. What does ope need? I mean, I know
she knows. She keeps saying, then boyfriend, But what what's
her line here? You know?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Oh? Yeah, they played online video games.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Okay, so definitely emotionally cheating, definitely being on Discord Servers
overnight saying my little kitten. Yeah, he's definitely telling her
about how he's aspiring to be a freelanceing gynecologist and
all the things he's looking to help.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Her out with. It's like her first client.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Sign me up?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Ah good? Not good. On our twelve year anniversary, ah,
my husband and I went out to a restaurant and
he couldn't stop bringing her up. I furiously asked if
we could go one night without mentioning her name. Oh gosh,
and he said I was acting irrationally. She's his friend too,
and I was at fair that he can't mention his
friends around me. I felt like she wasn't my friend anymore,
(20:24):
and I admittedly called her a witch and several names
that weren't nice because I was so resentful of how
they were treating me. I was told again I was overreacting.
They were being nothing but nice to me, and they
were allowed to be friends. It wasn't fair to isolate
them when they were doing nothing wrong. I was also
reminded that it was my fault for not being a
(20:45):
better support for my friend. She was only talking to
him more because she needed out with her medical issue.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
He's not a doctor, yeah he is. He's a freelance
kuyd in college is fat.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
And I already told them both that I didn't want
to discuss her issue. So it was on me for
giving permission for them to speak, and on me for
getting upset when they were doing exactly what I told them.
I felt more guilty gos fighting. She came to visit
us a week later for my birthday, and everything felt
awkward and sour. I has been admitted he hated living
(21:18):
in the country we're in and suggested that we look
at moving to France. I wonder why, hell no, what's
in France?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Way shock activities?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Maybe he can professionally become a guy to cologist in France.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Dude, you're not going to get a job there. You
don't know French. I know that You're.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Man doesn't know a thing. He doesn't he doesn't know
a thing.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Oh dude, I have so many thoughts about this guy.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
I was so exhausted by his refusal to look for
work and everything else that I just said, I'm only
half a semester into my degree. We can't move to
France right now. He suggested he could go first check
it out and we could look into moving later.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Stop stop it stop stop stop stop stop stop stop
stop we already stop.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Uh huh dude, Yeah, maybe he has a place to
stay already. Pro maybe he has a bed to share already.
I just said, fine, oh my gosh, and she would
return to France together. He'd look at the area and
see if it suited our needs, and he'd report back
if he liked it. He booked a flight on her
plane out, and the departure at the airport was excruciatingly depressing.
(22:22):
A few days later, he texted me how happy he
was there and now I'd love it. I told him
I missed him, and after a pause, he told me
he didn't miss me.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
I hung up on him, and he texted me that
he wanted a divorce.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
No, and I bet you tim bucks. He bought a
one play one way ticket there. Yeah, one way ticket
to France.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
It was the start of finals week for my first
term in graduate school. He literally just wanted a ticket
into the country. He wanted to use you to get
a visa here.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
He did all that, and now you're stuck halfway through
a semester doing something he suggests so to make him happy,
and you're stuck with that.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
He gave me a list of my faults. I didn't
clean the house the way he preferred. I didn't brush
my teeth good enough. I brushed them with neurotic attention
because he kept pounding me about it. He hated the pets.
He felt like I wanted a caretaker more than a husband.
I admit not cleaning her cooking much, but I was
working NonStop and my loans were what kept us afloat. Yeah,
he wasn't doing anything. He played video games throughout the
(23:26):
work week, and I'd come home to find him continuing
to play games with my friend. I could have cleaned
and done more, but honestly, he was already home, and
I felt like he could at least keep the house clean.
He insisted he wasn't having an affair, right, Yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yeah, of course, no fringe activities.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
At the time, I really wanted to believe him, even
so I texted my friend I never wanted to speak
to her again. I also asked him if I could
keep all the pets, including his dog, since I did
love her, and he agreed by saying, if you're going
to extort me for the dog, then fine, take her.
He didn't get about his dog. I thanked him and
moved on. The only other thing I asked for is
that he tell me when his father passes, because I
(24:06):
loved his father, baring him my much and even called
him dad. He agreed and asked me for four k
I just said yes because I was tired what he said. Yeah,
I'll tell you if my dad bashes, but you have
to pay me four thousand dollars. Dude, stop agreeing to
everything he does.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
My gosh, stop it.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
What This man's a freaking cheater.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Hey, Hey, it sucks we're breaking up. Could you also
just give me four grand?
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Please? And you just said yes. You didn't have to
say yes.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Well, technically he was there to give her support and
clean the house and cook. Remember that he didn't do
any of that though, Yeah he did, don't you remember?
Don't you remember, Sophia, This whole story's been about that.
Like that's how much gas lining has been going on
where he got he How can you break up with
someone moved to another country with her friend and did
get four k? How How does he have this kind
(24:57):
of control?
Speaker 1 (24:58):
It's crazy. He said we would absolute stay in touch
and still be friends afterwards. Okay, I believe him. We
finalized the divorce at the end of February twenty twenty.
Yay the vid. I was forced to move back in
with my parents. They had a secondary home nearby. After
also working to immigrate because of the VID, I just
did my studies long distance. Then I find out that
(25:19):
my student loan payment was not enough to give him
four k. Also, I don't even think you could give
him that four k from a student loan payment. Student
loan payments are for student loans, not for whatever he's
using them for. Uh.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
He actually, don't you remember his freelance gayonecologists. Yeah, courses
he's taking. Yeah, he needs four grand to help her
his friend.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
He got to help his friend, he's.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Got to how selfish? How selfish are you got to
get four grand I.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Told him I didn't have the money to give it
to him. He didn't even let me explain why. He
just ended the call. I never spoke to him again.
So much for being friends, Op, you need therapy so desperately.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Dude, she doesn't even know.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Would you want to be friends with this crazy man?
Speaker 3 (26:02):
What?
Speaker 1 (26:03):
And then in the span of a year, all three
pets passed away, one of them very suddenly. Aside from
my parents, I was very alone, with no friends in
a foreign country, trying to complete my graduate studies, feeling
betrayed by the people I love most in the world,
I fell into a deep depression. Work became the only
thing I could do in order to function, because it
(26:25):
kept me from thinking about anything else. I was one
of the few people who completed their MA on time
during the VID at my university because I just didn't
give myself time to stop. I finished with a four
point zero and a degree I hadn't even wanted to
get in the first place. I was now a medical
historian rather than a medieval historian.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Bobee, this is the same thing. This, This is what
the boyfriend said, Bobee, they both start with IM just
become a medical same thing.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I kept working. I tried getting into a PhD program,
and very few unifies were accepting new students because of
the VID. Someone I had applied to forwarded me an
application for a project that was completely different from everything
I'd ever done, still in medical history, but so extremely
contemporary that it was nothing close to my research profile.
I submitted an application anyway, because unlike my husband, I
(27:18):
always submit to jobs and make a decision after I
got hired. I got hired. It was in France, dude, stop.
I moved to France in October twenty twenty one, taught
myself a language and didn't speak, took care of a
home without a caretaker. Husband, adopted a new pupper so
I could finally no longer be alone after the huge
losses of twenty twenty and twenty twenty one. A pup
(27:40):
that is never and will never be treated the way
my ex treated my old dog. I mean again, if
you have a partner who's mistreating your animals, please don't
say with that partner, get that get that animal out
of that situation, big thing.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Please break up with them.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Too, And yesterday I defended my PhD ranked very good
and excellent and with an enthusiastic encouraging me to publish
and a transition into public policy work. It's work I'm
genuinely excited about, and it's focused in a domain where
I can do a lot of global health good. And
while all this was going on, because I continue to
write novels. In twenty twenty three, I submitted a novel
(28:15):
to a literary agent, got a deal, and sold it
to a big five publisher. Oh wow, it was just
published last month, and my advance is enough to pay
off all of my outstanding student loans. So far, reviews
are going well.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Heck, yeah, man, this is is a fever dream. Not
like a fever dream, but.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Like what everything really turned around for a b see?
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Okay, remember whenever the boyfriend was like, I have so
much potential, I'm so smart. Yeah, and she said that,
I was like, in order for you to actually achieve that,
you need to have like a downfall of drive or
downfall of some sort for you to achieve that.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Yeah, and what happened? B Yeah, she hit kind of
rock bottom, was treated terribly by people around her, was
not pursuing any of her own dreams for like, you
know what she wanted to do, and then hit this
rock bottom moment and was like, I have the drive
to actually get myself out of it, and.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Did and did, because when you rock bottom, what's the
only way to go up? That's right, dude, It's crazy.
The whole time, you were the smart and intelligent one.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Yeah, man, he was just putting you down. My two
major life goals have been accomplished between one month of
each other, and I have made a new list of
goals to achieve that I'm very much looking forward to
working on to No one's surprised my ex husband and
ex best friend are married to each other.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
They got married a year after our divorce. He is
listed as working at a business where he fabricates clothing
or some sort. The man never once picked up a
needle in all our time working together. I almost guarantee
it's another nonsense business he made up. There's no marketing,
no signs, no way to contact the store, no storefront.
It's a joke. But he's living in France. We're on
(29:54):
opposite sides of the country. I have not run into
either of them. I hope they're very happy together. Unburning
moment of rage was only this. I discovered his dad
passed last year on my own. No one told me,
no one reached out. I guess he was still bitter
that he lost four thousand dollars. He didn't lose four
thousand dollars. He never had four thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
He just he just said, I wonder to earn. You
just get four thousand dollars from this.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Chick, and you almost give it him.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
That does suck having to learn. I was, I'm surprised
you didn't stay in contact with like his mom though.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Yeah, well maybe the mom's not around or like past.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Yeah, I don't know. I don't think I would have
gave him the responsibility to do that. Yeah, I'd probably
reach out to his sister something like such sort of
family member.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
But it broke my heart and I definitely cried. This
is where the question comes in. My sister loathes my
ex husband. She wants nothing more than to take a
copy of my dissertation in my book and mail it
to him. His address is publicly listed because of this
fake business of him, and tell him just how stupid
he was for constantly diminishing me this whole time. She
(31:00):
wants to list all of his flaws and rake him
through the calls for his behavior. By the way, I'd
rake you, guys if through the calls, if you didn't
listen to full episodes of stories just like this. Yeah,
just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast, or iHeart Radio and
search up Okus storytime. There is a little bit left
to this story.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Should she do it?
Speaker 1 (31:18):
I don't think so. I think you should. You are
in a great place your You know, you got this
book published, you got the dissertation, You're happy living in
France on your own, you got your sister supporting you.
Don't bring him back into your life.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
You're punching thin air.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Dude, he's gone. Let him stay gone.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Yeah yeah, and also how much hold in gas lining
you put op through. He could probably do it again
and re answer it to her life.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
I don't want him to come back and see that
she's successful and be like, oh my god, like I
would love to do like I've always loved you, blah blahlah,
because I feel like Ope would take him back.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Yeah, don't don't.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Let him worm his way back into your life, Hope.
Let him stay gone.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Yeah, honestly, sister, write the letter, send it to some address,
don't send.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
It to him.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Yeah, and then they're like, what is you have a
link to the post bo It's like oh wow, wow, okay,
this makes so much sense.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Yeah, they're like, wow, this is a good.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Book commenter here. Hey, I actually got the book and letter,
and that was a lot.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
But there is a little bit left. Hey, it's Sam.
We're gonna get back to these stories. But here's three
bits of ads from our sponsors that keep the show alive.
A part of me is happy to let her do
it and rub my accomplishments and my success in their faces,
but another part of me doesn't want the drama that
it might punt up. Yeah don't. I don't have anything
nice to say to them. I do hope they'll be
happy together, since clearly it was worth ruining my life
(32:50):
at the time for their happiness. Gosh, it's a miracle
I pulled through as well as I did. But I
also don't want to be aware of them anymore. And
somehow I feel like this will just make things messy.
Then again, after all the time I've been put down,
it's nice to have someone stand up for me, and
there is a part of me that can't help thinking
(33:10):
he could have had everything he wanted if he just
stayed patient. We could be living in France together, having
a beautiful life, with a PhD that I've grown to
love and cherish and be proud of, and a book
deal that's helping to fund my lifestyle. But instead, he
was a failure of a partner and a man, and
he deserves to be ashamed.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
He didn't want that life with you.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
The thing is that you were never going to get
that life with him. If you stayed with him, like
there was no patience, he would have brought you down
with them.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
I still feel hints of OPI hoping that it worked out. Yeah,
Like I mean, yeah, she's not over him, She's with
him for twelve years.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
That's true. So would I be the ale if I
let my sister go through with their plans? What'd be
the a hole? But it wouldn't be good be the
ale to yourself. This isn't revenge, Yeah, it doesn't do
anything nothing.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
It feels like you just wanted we click baited ourselves.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Yeah, it just feels like you want to send it
with Tim so that he realizes that he made a
mistake and that that's crawling back or really the love
of his life, Like, don't don't try and learn back.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
She needs to go fall in love, not like with
another person or yeah frenchman, but she just needs to
fall in love with life and also other things. My
ex boyfriend repeatedly cheated on me. Now he wants another chance. Nope, bye,
I have no definite proof that he actually went any
further than matching with women on dating apps. That's cheating
because he deleted everything. Backstory. We've been together exclusively for
(34:37):
six months, but I've been seeing each other for ten.
There have been many instances where I've caught him lying
directly to my face about how he knows someone while
we were not exclusive. He would tell me a girl
he follows is just a friend of a friend, when
I really knew he met her on a dating app.
He also tells me I was the only girl he
(34:59):
was talking to, when I knew that wasn't true. By
the way, this comes from Throwaway fifty nine, and if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r sash Okay storytomp superate. So yesterday evening I had
a disgusting feeling. I felt so gross. I felt such
a bad feeling that something was off. I had never
once gone through his phone or pride into his private life. Wait,
(35:21):
aren't you a part of his private life?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Yeah? I think just meaning like on his private like stuff.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Got it well, he was out getting groceries. I checked
his Emo since it was logged into my laptop once.
He had emails from Tender indicating he had new matches
for months.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Hit emails from Tinder. Man was getting emails from Tinder.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
I get emails from due Lingo saying I need to
do stuff like this is just marketing for apps. I think,
got your emails, They'll just do whatever they can.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Crazy.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Months we were together. If a Tender account is an
active for more than seven days, you're not visible to others,
so there should be no reason this is happening. I
should have just waited for him to get to my
house to confront him, but I couldn't hold it in,
so I facetimed him and asked him to go through
(36:14):
his phone. By the way, you can FaceTime someone and
also go through their phone while face timing, that's true.
I was like I was like doing I was facetiming
aergie one time and I was like, here, let me
like control your phone so I can like like do
something like edit something while she was adding the video,
and I was like, wait, I could literally be on
FaceTime with you and go through your phone while you're
there and I don't have to be there.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
I was like, dude, do you have games on your phone?
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Dude, there's someone that has done that.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Probably.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Oh my goshike get a redownload tender where I saw
he had matches as recent.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
As eight days ago.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
I was on a business trip eight days ago. He's
wore up and down that he didn't have the app
while I was gone, despite having two matches from that time.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Come on, like, I feel like we always these cheating
stories and they're like, oh no, I don't know why.
It must be a glitch.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
No, someone hacked my phone.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
No it was you.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
I didn't. I told him one of my house immediately,
as soon as he walks inside, he tells me he
deleted his tender a ground because he's serious about me
and never wants to use the app again.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Y'all have been dating. What do you mean he's serious
about you? You were dating, You were officially dating.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
He's finally got his mind made up.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
It is like, I know that we've been officially dating
for six months, but I realize now after we've been
officially dating, that I am serious.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
I started thinking of my past and I was like,
you know what, I'm gonna be serious.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
I was serious from now on, starting now.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
I was furious because he knew I wanted to look
through it myself. Who knows what else could have been deleted.
Here's his original story. He downloaded Tender twice throughout the
beginning of our relationship, never kept it any longer than
a day, and was rarely never really on it. He
said he wasn't thinking when he did it, and it
(38:08):
was just an ego thing for him. He swore it
never responded to messages, send any messages, or met up
with anyone. I have no proof of that because he
deleted his account. I didn't find anything in his tax messages.
He said he wasn't swiping on anyone. You would just
see the name of someone who liked him, swipe right
on her and just wait for her to send him
(38:29):
a message. Here's what I got him to admit. He
redownloaded Tender at least ten times while we were together.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Done, break up. Bye, You're done. I don't want to
see you were at these parts anymore.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Son what he said he would do it when he
was bored at work, and he wasn't thinking. You know
how much thought it takes to go in your app,
search up a word in the search bar and hit buttons.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Come on, come on?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
He wasn't thinking, you know what I have to do?
That requires zero thinking? Walking, walking, breathing, breathing, blinking, blinking.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Probably it would have been easier to text your girlfriend
if you were bored. I don't know if you need to.
If you're feeling spicy, spicy texture, I don't care, text
your girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Yep, there you go. He said he would swipe ride
on women when pop was attractive, but he would never
initiate anything. He lied to me about watching Corn. He
told me he didn't watch it. I told him before
that I don't care if he does. I just don't
want to know. He constantly assured me he didn't watch it.
Prior admitting to this, he received a message from a
(39:41):
random woman on social media, which I found screenshots of
in his camera roll, the message and profile. I asked
him why I had these screenshots he said he showed
his friends. I couldn't find any proof in his messages
that he actually showed them unless he deleted it, so
I have no idea what he said. He said he
had no intention on telling me about the message, but
(40:04):
decided to brag to his buddies instead. I felt so broken.
I've given this man one hundred and ten percent and
he half budded our whole relationship. I've had to beg
for the bare minimum so many times just to find
out that he's cheating on me behind my back.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Trash, trash man, trash to the dumb sight, Go get
him a truck because he's the garbage man.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
I know what to do.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Breakup, Oh, there we go, easy what I had no.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
Idea, that was never thought. Breaking up facts.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
Facts. We had one last conversation. Oh, it was a
breakup conversation where I just tore him apart. I told
him he doesn't do anything, and he was a bad boyfriend,
bad and also.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
He cheated on you.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Bad boyfriend, bad boyfriend. And we went back to things
as normal.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
No. I was ridding, Okay, no, no, that's all.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
You gotta do these days. Just tell your boyfriend he's bad.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah, and he's like, you're right, You're right.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
He says he can change, he can't and wants to
prove to me that he can't. He says he planned
his whole future around us. He's so gonna do whatever
he can to make it work. You gotta believe him, Sophia.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
I don't believe him.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
He's gonna make it work.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
I don't believe him.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
I told him, I can't believe he's going to change
because all I've known from him is half butt effort.
He said he's going to take time to change, show
me that he's capable put in an effort, and it's
something he said. He's worried he has underlying issues gonna
make him act this way. No, because he's never done
this before. Ow Hes and Sophia, this is the best
(41:42):
relationship he's ever had.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
By hate this man.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
I don't I don't know why I do these things, Dude.
It must be something in my.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Past, dude, Okay, okay, okay, it probably wasn't a hackerize
he was hypnotized, Sophia.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
He's like, oh he was.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
I went to this like this magic show, and I
think he did something to my brain.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Dude, you're the problem. Leave this man. He can't even
own up to what he did. This is the brush
relationship by bebar Rhud.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
What are you talking about? He he knows he's able
to change.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Bye bye.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
He said he's going to seek professional help and quit
his bad habits. Like Tinder, we kind of left it
on an open note, like what we want to work out,
but he needs to do some serious work on his end.
Bad boyfriend. I don't know. I haven't done anything yet.
I'm the one that's having to pick up the pieces.
I got a puppy during the time we were together,
(42:42):
and he was amazing and helping me with her. It
felt so nice, like we have a little family together.
It's hard coping with that loss where I stand. I
just don't know of making it work as possible. Has
anyone been in a similar position? Were you able to
make it work? I just don't know if I'll ever
get over the fact that I won't know. I won't
know how bad it really was. I won't know if
(43:02):
he was really telling me the truth.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
And I'm not telling you the truth, and.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
I won't know the reason why he did it.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
He did it because he didn't be stupid.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Any advice is appreciated. Edit he just admitted at least
twenty times. We got an up date.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.
But here's three of bits of bads from our sponsors
that keep the show alive.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
We got an update. Ah, Sophia's hitting herself.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Yeah we so it went from two to ten to twenty. Sophia.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
He's changing, He's omitted his flaws. He's like getting through this.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
The only thing he's changing is his profile.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Sophia, I don't really think you understand his effort he's
putting into this.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
I hate this man from the bottom of my heart.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Also, like in a story we read earlier today, you
were as stupid as him. If you continue this.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Relationship, yeah, well I don't want to. I don't want
to be so rshapie because I think he's manipulative. But like, girl,
come on, we know what he's doing. We know he's lying.
You don't need to know why he went on tender.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
We already know why.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
He's like wants a cheat. Cheeters just want to cheat, man.
They don't need a reason.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Because the change gonna cheat.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Leave this man, that's my advice for you to leave him.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Update. I got some new information. This is my last post.
He originally told me it was ten times at the
beginning of our relationship, and then he stopped. I texted
him after our last conversation because it didn't add up.
That's when he told me it was actually every week
or every other week throughout the whole relationship, so at
least twenty times. He insists it was just re downloading
(44:44):
the app, swiping on a few people, reading the messages,
and then deleting it no harm. He said he never
messaged anyone or took it further than just the match.
When he did share his screen with me. I did
see that that appeared to be true unless he unmatched
with people, which he insisted he didn't, and he didn't
(45:05):
know how to do.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
His freaking mother Terre say he's never told a lie,
come on, or Abraham Leagan, Yeah, that's maybe better.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
I didn't know. Murther Dresa was cool like that.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Actually, she probably told lies. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
He also admitted that he lied about the severity when
he told his friends, but sent me a screenshot of
him texting them and admitted he lied and then telling
them the truth. They had both said they were disappointed
and could feel bad for him, but they were glad
he's working on himself. Now, this is what happened. This
is what actually happened. Hey, guys, So I'm gonna send
(45:37):
you a text message saying I feel bad and I
want you guys to say you're disappointed, but also they're
proud of me for working.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
Call myself exactly what happened.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Okay, now text ou. I'm gonna send text message in
a minute. Okay, did you want to go? He continues
to say, but he doesn't have a good reason for
why he did it, and that it wasn't serious as
all to him, which is why he is difficult. He
remembering the specific dates and times he was on there.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
Because he did it so many times.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
Before I left my business trip about two to three
weeks ago. We had a brief conversation where I told
him it's one of my worst fears to get cheated
on while away from home because there's absolutely nothing I
can do. Hey, Sophia, don't think about elephants.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
It's too late. It's too late.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
I just have to cope from afar. He admitted he
may have used tender while I was gone. But once again,
no messages, no meeting, nothing.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
What do you mean he may have he ether did
or he didn't.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
And we know he did Sofia, it's not that serious.
He doesn't remember, you said.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
I remember, but I could have used tender may I'm
not quite sure. I forgot. There were a lot of messages.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
It's not that serious, of course, is memory fades.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
Memory phages. None of them were like you, babe, do.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
You remember what you made for lunch last week, today,
last Wednesday? Just like that. It wasn't it wasn't that
big for me. I don't remember.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Since then he showed me proof of making a therapy appointment.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
We already know that you can make appointment.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
Him throwing away all his vapes and yeah, he says
he's going to send me pictures of his bank statements
and screen time every week to prove he'sn't vuying more
vapes like cash doesn't exist, that he is actually going
to therapy, and that he's going to produce time spent
on his phone and social media. He also sent me
a huge apology apologizing everything he's ever done wrong, specifically
(47:34):
naming each thing.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
And I'm sorry for messaging Tina, and I'm most so
sorry for messaging Megan. I'm also sorry for that one
time that I met up with Susan. And there's a
couple more to bear with me. It's good take a while.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
Yeah, I can name another thing he definitely didn't do.
What watch more? Okay, story time? Like you can do.
All you gotta go to is your favorite podcast platform?
Search a okay story Time and boom, you can listen
to more crazy stories just like this on iHeartRadio, Spotify
or Apple.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
Don't commit a sin like this, man, don't do it.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
I just don't understand the sudden effort. Now we're broken up,
and I'm pretty confident it's gonna stay that way.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
What you mean pretty confident? What do you mean? Pretty confident?
Speaker 2 (48:15):
F I get back with him, I don't know if
I could ever fully trust him. He's asked us about
going to Copples therapy, and I told him that he
needs to get therapy because there's no us anymore. Okay o,
p okay. He says he's gonna change and going to
prove to me whether I block him or not. I
(48:35):
don't see it working out. I have pretty bad insecurities
and self esteem issues. So this is unfortunately a tough
situation for me. I'm trying to stick out, let everyone
told me and respect myself. Thank you all for the advice.
My brain feels like it's filled with bees. So even
though the answer may be clear to you guys, I
was having a hard time seeing it and edit, he
(48:57):
is blocked.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
Thank goodness. Girl. Proud of you. Girl, out of you.
Oh p I'm proud of you.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
That's how you gotta do it.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
Block him. If someone is telling you that they're going
on tender while they're dating you, bye bye. That's not
your partner, dude, that's tender's partner.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
I haven't seen these kind of like gas lighting tips
and tricks before.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
The thing is that he didn't even really gaslighter. That's
the thing. That's the crazy thing he kind of did.
I mean, besides like lying about how many people he
was messaging, he admitted he was messaging people like he
gaslit her and saying like, oh, but it's the reason. Yeah,
but like he just told her and then he was like,
I don't know why I did it.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
What's scary to me. The most scary thing here, how
easily he brought up these excuses and he just kind
of threw them out.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
He was just like, yeah, I did it, but like
it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (49:51):
This is a pro at work. This man has done
this time and time and time again. Who knows there
might be three more of you out there he's talking.
Speaker 1 (49:58):
To right now. Yeah, probably, folks. That's the end of
that story and the end of this episode. So if
you love us, make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
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