My father wasted company profits on his secret affair… while I sweat building it! - r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP2157 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:06):
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Speaker 3 (00:18):
My father Blue Company, profits on his mistress while I
sweat building it.

Speaker 4 (00:24):
Well, that's just not fair. Some background.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
My dad started his own business a little over twenty
years ago. It started as a one man band and
has grown slowly. It is a small but profitable manufacturing
operation in a fairly niche market with quite a bit
of room to expand. I've been working there ever since
I was old enough, and began full time as soon
as I completed college.

Speaker 4 (00:43):
Literally the day.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
Of my final exam, I went into work in the afternoon.
By the way, this comes from underdad's thumb, And if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay Storytime.

Speaker 4 (00:52):
Separate it.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
So I started encountering some issues with my dad and
some serious clashing of heads pretty much as soon as
I started working full time. It took an age for
him to get around to moving me onto a salary package,
and the first one he presented me with was disappointing.
It was very small, maybe twenty percent lower than a
starting salary for any entry level job. He didn't believe me,

(01:13):
thinking it was a competitive wage. It took his accountant
to actually convince him of what the minimum I should
be getting paid was. And that's what I got, the minimum.
That's why to pay your own child like the minimum,
right and not mark.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
Well, at the time, I kind of just grinned and
bored it.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
It wasn't ideal and it barely covered the cost of living,
but I reminded myself that the long term goal of
eventually owning the place would be worth it. Once I
moved into full time hours, he began to travel extensively.
I got about two weeks of training in the day
to day operation of the business. Previously I handled all
the manufacturer, and off he went. The first year was
pretty brutal. I was swimming in the responsibility of maintaining

(01:52):
a business for the first time, and Dad was securing
new contracts and distributors. I was getting swamped from learning
on the fly while still being the prim manufacturer some
weeks for twelve plus hours a day and a lot
of weekends, and you're still not getting paid for like properly.
Yikes that I like at that point you got a
self advocate. Yeah, you know, like if someone's not regardless

(02:14):
of whether or not other family, if they're not paying
you what you deserve.

Speaker 4 (02:17):
HM say, hey, I need more money than this, right.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
It eased off a bit when I convinced him to
hire some more full time employees. I became more comfortable
in the extensive list of responsibilities I had, and it
felt like things for me started to stabilize after about
the third year. To give you some perspective, in the
first eighteen months, he was probably around for maybe six.

Speaker 4 (02:35):
To eight of them.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
Wow, as of right now, he's probably out of the
country or interstate for a minimum of thirty to forty
percent of the year. After the first three year stint,
I started to feel quite a bit of financial pressure.
I felt undervalued, was essentially making just enough to pay
rent in utilities and wasn't saving a dime. Throughout this period,
I received no increase to my salary. I had to
fight him for over six months to recognize that. At

(02:58):
the very least salary adjustment for inflation needed to be made.
Once again, it took the account and to confirm that, yes,
inflationary adjustments are a thing. This is why all of
your meetings with them about finances. Accountant should be there.
I think, I like, if I were to give you advice,
it seems like this story is you know, going to
continue for sure.

Speaker 4 (03:16):
God, this is my advice.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
But in this moment, if I were to give you advice,
I think, get a meeting with the accountant, show them
what you like, what finances you're paying for, what you need,
all the work that you're doing.

Speaker 4 (03:28):
Just like lay it all out for like a mediator. Yeah,
I think the account Yeah. Yeah. This was about the
time that I first caught wind of his shutter mistress.
Uh oh.

Speaker 3 (03:38):
He had been spending a lot of time visiting one
of our suppliers overseas. This was the primary destination of
most of his travel. I didn't really think much of
it as they were being right bees. I was under
the impression that we were gearing up to drop them
in favor of someone else that was already secured. But
this process dragged on for what was eventually years. Every
time he was in the country and I would come

(04:00):
into his office. I could hear him talking to someone
on Skype, and he would bang his laptop lid down
with a start of look on his face every single time.
That's not suspicious at all, not at all. On one
of those days, I needed a file off his computer
while he was out. He told me where to find
it over the phone, so I stopped upstairs and opened
it up. He forgot to close Skype, or even minimize

(04:20):
it for that matter. What I was presented with was
a chat history that was very incriminating.

Speaker 4 (04:26):
I was furious.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
This was family destroying stuff, considering he is still married
to my mother. I confronted him about it and absolutely exploded.
I don't think he's ever truly seen me so angry before.
Without going into too much detail, he managed to convince
me that I was just a close friend and that
nothing spicy related was going on. He managed to convince you, bro, dude,

(04:47):
you need to.

Speaker 4 (04:48):
Both advocate for yourself and also like trust yourself.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
Trust your gut, because come on, that was the most
obvious cheating that you.

Speaker 4 (04:55):
Already confronted him for it. Yeah, you don't try to
like slam the computer down and hide. Yeah, just a friend.
The explicit stuff that I saw was just joking around you.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
He convinced you there was explicit stuff, and he convinced
you that it was just a friend that they were
joking around with.

Speaker 4 (05:13):
Oh no, Op is so deeply in denial.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
He's like, I'd rather not be true, So I'm just
going to believe that really bad lie, I think, in
a desperate attempt to not see the family torn apart,
I accepted his explanation, along with a mention that anything
spicy related is literally impossible for him now due to
some health issues slash old age. So like a chump,
I ate his crap and buried it in the back
of my mind. A couple more years past, and life happened.

(05:39):
I got engaged than married. Oh dude, wait, I'm sorry.
You just like never followed back up on that.

Speaker 4 (05:45):
You were like, well, he says, he's not cheating, So
I'm gonna put the blindfold on for a bit. Yeah,
just go live my life.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
He's not cheating.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
He continued to travel extensively, always winding up in the
same place. My hackle started getting up as the issue
with one of our suppliers dragged on and on. I
simply couldn't even understand why he was continuing to even
entertain doing business with them. He started making some weird decisions,
like setting up an overseas office and renting a small property.

Speaker 4 (06:11):
For storage storage so that.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
We could ship immediately from a supplier we were going
to trump, a supplier that we continued to purchase from
despite them jacking up prices that nearly pushed it past
the point of profitability. It turns out the property he
has been renting for the past two years is just
an apartment, one that I have a fairly educated guess
is for his mistress. He also kept talking about getting

(06:33):
a visa for a few people to come over and train.
I ended up finding a visa rejection letter for who
I'm certain is the mistress. Anyway, About a year ago,
I once again started feeling some pretty extreme financial pressure.
I'd found my own place with my wife, and we
were barely covering rent and utilities with three jobs between us.
I requested a salary increase, which would be my first

(06:54):
ever raise. Dad wasn't having a bar of it. After all,
when he's in the country, I'm just a grunt, right,
All I really do is basic manufacturing, What worth this
or in increasing my salary. Besides, he hasn't even yet
seen me step up to that plate. To his satisfaction,
not to mention then asking for a comparable salary that
I showed him evidence of industry standard for basic workers
in manufacturing may not be financially valuable. It's really about

(07:17):
what the business can afford, and high salaries just aren't affordable.
I bit my tongue hard at that remark, considering his
twelve plus international trips per year, plus half as many interstates.
He assured me he looked into it, though, and a
few months later I received a very modest pay bump.
I'm pissed at OPI. I'm pissed, like one, you're staying
in this business, right, you're not getting paid in too. Right.

(07:40):
You know about this affair, regardless of whether or not
you're willing to like actually recognize that it's happening.

Speaker 4 (07:47):
You know about it, right.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (07:49):
And even if you're not gonna tell your mother, which
is already a messed up, Yeah, you should at least
be freaking blackmailing him. I don't know if you're not
gonna tell your mom, which is so stop using your advantage. Yeah,
Like you're just sitting there with your blinders on, right.

Speaker 4 (08:05):
Being like, can I have a little bit of a race.

Speaker 3 (08:08):
And your dad's like no, and you're like, well, I
guess I'm gonna stay here forever.

Speaker 4 (08:12):
Yeah, Yeah, honestly, just get another job.

Speaker 3 (08:14):
I like why, Like he's like, do I want to
stay here because I want to like take over the business?

Speaker 5 (08:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (08:20):
Do you have any proof that he's going to give
you the business?

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (08:23):
So far does not seem like that's gonna happen. Nope.

Speaker 3 (08:25):
So like you're just waiting in this like dead end
job with your cheater father doing nothing about either thing.

Speaker 5 (08:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
To the present and my predicament, it is now extremely
obvious that he's traveling overseas exclusively to visit this mistress.
He doesn't even give excuses as to why he's going
overseas anymore, just says, go in to ex country.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
For why weeks?

Speaker 3 (08:44):
Yeah, because he thinks, you know, and that you're just
like ignoring it for him. Right, we don't even do
business with the supplier of the country he was Slash
is going to anymore. So here I sit managing a
business that pays me pennies to fund my dad's extravagances.
I have their very little capacity to save, and as
it stands, it will take me over six years to
save for a house deposit in a housing market that

(09:07):
is increasing in value at a rate of over fifteen
percent per quarter. Having children is an impossibility, as even
a month out of work for my wife will see
us in debt. Of the small number of employees we have,
every one of them works a second job. No one
except the boss man is earning a comfortable living. The
difference between my salary and our general office worker is
about one hundred dollars per week. She's been working here

(09:29):
for two years. I've been here since I was sixteen.
What has brought this to a head is a little
digging into my very limited access to the business's finances.
It's the one aspect he has absolute control over, and
I have a feeling it's to mask his own excesses.
He is now taking the mistress on international and local
holidays regularly, all on the company's dime. Is continuing this

(09:50):
relationship is handicapping the financial security of the employees of
this business, and he has made poor decisions over a
number of years in an effort to maintain the charade
that every trip is in the best interests of the business.
We haven't had any new customers in two years that
was supposed to be a big part of his travel.
In fact, I recently learned that he had a conversation
with our office worker and he's stopped effing looking for

(10:11):
new business because we're now making enough money and we're
in a comfortable place. To be clear on this point,
He's right. I don't have much access to the finances,
but I know without going into too much detail, that
we make very good amount of money for the size
of the business.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (10:24):
And also because he's not paying his workers.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
Yeah, he's like, yeah, we're comfortable because if I pay
all of you under what you're supposed to be paid, Yeah,
then the business is profitable.

Speaker 4 (10:34):
Right, But it's like, what's the point of it being
profitable if no one's gonna actually like reap the benefits
besides you.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
Yeah, that's how all giant businesses operate. Like, that's why
places like Amazon and like those big places are profitable
because they rely on really really cheap labor, most times
labor abroad, so you can get around labor thing. And
that's like to a much smaller extent. That's what he's doing.
He's getting his workers nothing for massive amounts of work. Right,

(11:02):
How in holy heck am I supposed to navigate this?
I've sunk my career building years into this business, and
the inevitable confrontation that will result after I bring this
cluster f to light with him could spark him to
just up and sell the business from under us. Over
the past couple of years, he off handedly mentioned how
tempting it would be to take an offer on the
sale price this business would attract.

Speaker 4 (11:21):
Then why are you here? He's gonna sell it. You're
not gonna get it. He's not gonna give it to you.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
Right, I'd be left with my button the breeze, with
very few transferable skills and a degree that has been
collecting dust in a field that would be extremely difficult
to break into. As it stands, I have no stake
in the business, there's no way to realistically force him out,
and his total lack of interest in teaching me the
few critical aspects of running the place that are left
means that if he just vanishes or says ef it

(11:46):
and dumps into my lap, there's a high risk of
seeing the place collapse if I'm not on top of
my game. And always in the back of my mind,
which I have barely acknowledged, is the followut that will
occur with my family and my poor effing mother. I
can barely even process this side of it. Even if
I don't confront him, I don't really know how he's
going to repair our relationship. My resentment is building, my
furious absolute I mean.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
Do you guys even really have a relationship?

Speaker 3 (12:10):
Like he's gone six to eight months of the year, right,
she's paying pennies and cheating on your mother? Like, do
you have a good relationship in general?

Speaker 4 (12:19):
Sound like it.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
The only consolation I can take is that without this
ridiculous situation, I would have never met my wife. Truthfully,
if I had my time again, I'd still put myself
through this effing Gautlant. She is the shimmer at the
end of this dark void, the lip candle that prevents
me from cursing the darkness. As always, any advice will
be appreciated and there is an update.

Speaker 4 (12:38):
But do you all be thoughts? I just I feel like,
you know, you know, oh, he is like asking what
should I do? What I need to do? I feel
like you know, I agree ts your gut. You know
that what he's doing is wrong. So yeah, he needs
to be confronted about it, and that can be uncomfortable,
but it's necessary.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
Yeah, come front him, Quit all of them, all of
the above, all of the above.

Speaker 4 (12:59):
Man, I just can't stay here.

Speaker 3 (13:01):
Update well read it. This is a not so happy update.
A few days after I put up the op, I
brought all the evidence I had to my mother. She
was mortified, and we spent the next week while he
was overseas collecting evidence.

Speaker 4 (13:13):
Oh weit.

Speaker 3 (13:14):
Also, I wonder, depending on whether or not they signed
like a prenup, she might be able to get the business. Yeah,
in which case we can just take over, right, I
mean he said he doesn't know how to run ashore.
You've been there since you were sixteen.

Speaker 5 (13:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
Turns out he wasn't as smart as I thought he
was and was barely covering his tracks. Over a three
year period, he spent probably one hundred K on various
trips in salary for his mistress, including joint travel to
various countries.

Speaker 4 (13:42):
Flying business class.

Speaker 3 (13:44):
Mom took the evidence and brought it to a lawyer,
putting all the pieces into place, for a possible divorce.
I was told explicitly not to interfere, as she wished
to preserve the relationship I had with my father.

Speaker 4 (13:54):
Doesn't have one.

Speaker 3 (13:55):
From phone calls over the course of several days, I
found out that she was trying to make it work
and salvage the marriage. What salvage what? He's been cheating
for at least three years, probably more.

Speaker 4 (14:10):
He has no desire, like he's not. He doesn't feel
bad about that at all. Everyone is just so hopeful
every Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:19):
I learned fairly quickly that despite the boatload of evidence,
he had managed to convince her that it was merely
a friend.

Speaker 4 (14:26):
You and your mom are exactly alike.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
These poor people, these poor silly people, These poor silly
dum dumbs. She promised me that she was still suspicious
of everything he had said, but told me to keep
out of it and said she was working through it.
A week later, I received a substantial salary increase. See
that's what I said, dude, blackmail ages ago for the

(14:49):
first time in my life, pushing me into middle income.
It was still pissed off and incredibly angry, and kept
my head down A couple of months past where I
was monitoring what was happening, continuing to collect evidence in
stance that the friendship was done did nothing for my
state of mind, as I could clearly see the opposite.
He was still interacting with her on a daily basis.
When this was brought to mom again, nothing happened, and

(15:10):
I realized I was on my own.

Speaker 4 (15:12):
I was like, what I mean, it kind of makes sense.
Why a little bit?

Speaker 3 (15:16):
Whyop He never brought this to the mom until he
had like, really really solid proof, because she probably wouldn't
have done anything at all. Then Yeah, if Opie was like, hey.

Speaker 4 (15:24):
I saw these like explicit messages and she was like.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
Oh no, he said it was a friend right, Like
even mountains of proof doesn't change her mind, I Yeah,
the anger got the better of me, and I sunk
into a pretty bad lethargy. I was procrastinating at work,
not being all that productive. I should have been more
proactive in my planning, but I was acting with my
head so mad that I just felt like I was
falling into a pit with no way out. Fast forward

(15:46):
to two weeks ago. I uncovered evidence that he was
making moves or had already succeeded in getting the mistress
to my country here. That snapped me out of my
funk pretty hard well in either a move a blinding stupidity,
or rage, I confronted him. It quickly turned into a
crap fight, with most of it being me standing there
listening to him rage. He basically told me that I
was in Shane, was overthinking things and making connections on

(16:08):
my head that weren't really there. I interrupted a few
times to refute this, and it then turned into him
screaming into my face that his personal life was none
of my business. I told him that when his personal
life affects our business, then I absolutely have the right
to say something. I expressed my belief that his personal
life was leading to and has led to, poor decisions
for this business, and that he didn't really care about

(16:29):
its development as long as the money was rolling in
for him to do whatever the heck he wants. He
called me ungrateful and said that all the things he's
done for me gives me no right to speak to
him like this, that the reality of the business was
far removed from what I believed it to me, and
that I'm basically a clueless kid who makes assumptions because
I've never been at our real job and don't understand
how businesses work.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
I won't go.

Speaker 3 (16:50):
Into detail, but the argument evolved pretty rapidly from there.
It turned into him going on at length about my
personal failings and criticisms of me being a happy husband
to my wife because of hobbies. I chose to pursue
how he should command and respect being my dad, and
then I am no right to I even speak to
one with a raised voice, and mostly kept my cool,
but I won't lie. I went off a few times

(17:12):
refuting some of the more ridiculous things that he said,
making sure that he understood that some of the crap
he said was completely unacceptable. I don't think there's anything
I said in the moment that I regret. I was
strangely calm after the fact. I was expecting a mountain
of stress and anger to crush me. By the way,
you know what will crush you? What the amount of
full episodes and stories that we have waiting for you

(17:34):
on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or iHeartRadio.

Speaker 4 (17:37):
Just search up.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
Okay, storytime. Get crushed by all this episodes, but there
is a little bit left to the story. You have
any final thoughts.

Speaker 4 (17:42):
I thought it was really funny when he said, like,
you've never had a real job in your life, and
it's like, I've been working for you, like since I
was sixteen, been working in your company. So what do
you mean. Either's your job fake? Yeah, either you're totally
discounting like your own job or admitting that you haven't
been giving me a real job this whole time exactly.

(18:04):
He's like, you don't have the skills, like you haven't
taught me anything.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
Yeah, yeah, like there's been no I think a good
job teaches you new skills like you start off with.
Of course you have to have some skills when you
start off with show. Sure, but it's all about like
your learning, Like why would you.

Speaker 4 (18:19):
I don't know. You can learn so much. That's like,
you know, especially if you're not getting paid that much,
Like if you're learning something, then that's like that's almost
as good.

Speaker 3 (18:27):
Agreed, But there is a little bit more. As it stands,
I have no idea if I have a job on Monday.
The last thing he said to me before storming out
was that I better effing apologize for the thing, so
I shed to him, so, yeah, I think my world
just exploded.

Speaker 4 (18:40):
PS. Probably the best one liner I heard from him
was an anecdote where he believed the most successful people
in business get to a point where they don't have
to do anything. I laughed at that.

Speaker 3 (18:49):
Okay, yikes, I mean, like, I think to an extent,
that's true. Like, at a certain point you do want
you you've delegated so much that you can kind of
just let you know your underlings, Yeah, run the business.
But you were not there yet, Bud, Yeah, you were
not anywhere near there.

Speaker 4 (19:09):
Bake it till you'll make it, doesn't look in this situation.

Speaker 3 (19:11):
It's also just like other tasks that you then have
to take over once you like let the more menial
labor tasks, Yeah, you give those off to someone. So, yeah,
you're never doing nothing. But that is the end of
that story.

Speaker 4 (19:27):
My sister's actions make everything unbearable. It's tearing the family apart.
Tell her to knock it off. I'm one of four girls.
Our childhood was great, and up until about two years ago,
I thought I was lucky to be part of such
a perfect family. I have two younger sisters, Bela fifteen,
Daisy seventeen, and an older sister, Lena, twenty one. By
the way, this comes from Square circles and if you

(19:49):
want to submit your own stories or the our lash
okay story time separated it so growing up, Lena and
I never got along. I did not find it much
of a problem, despite many arguments over our shared bathroom
and her purposefully excluding me from everything that she would do.
She would purposefully exclude me from everything that she would
do because they had my two younger siblings to play with.
Lena is extremely diligent about her academics and has little

(20:11):
to know social life. She went to a prestigious boarding
school at fourteen, in a fantastic university after that, and
graduated in three years with the four point zero GPA.
Look at her go the resume man. Immediately after her graduation,
she moved back to our small town and got a
summer job at one of the local businesses. This was
last summer. She then decided that she wanted to stay

(20:31):
for the entire year, which I didn't care about because
I was about to leave for my freshman year in
college and would not have to be around her. However,
she recently decided to stay for yet another year, and
I don't know what to do as she is ruining
our family. Wait, boy, oh, what she doing, what she doing,
So I am her polar opposite. I've also been academically successful,

(20:54):
but like to balance my life and prefer to get
grades that are not perfect in order to do everything
else that I love. I held leadership phosicians in high school,
had three serious boyfriends who spent a lot of time
in our home, and was surrounded by tons of friends.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
Okay, brag. Oh, he's like, yeah, I know. I was
also good at school, but my life was more fun.

Speaker 4 (21:12):
Yeah exactly. I also like to go out and did
your typical teenage things, such as sneaking out or sleeping
at my boyfriend's house when I was not supposed to.
Lena has never had a boyfriend, and I'm convinced that
she's never had Spicy City. She is extremely judgmental of everyone,
in addition to being discriminatory and oh, okay, okay, hello,

(21:32):
not good. She does not trust anyone outside of our
family and has two friends who don't live in our
town that she sometimes remains in contact with. She has
no social media accounts and has a strange fear that
anything about her online will somehow affect her later in life.
We had a slightly crude slash and inappropriate name for
our family group chat for example. But we are a
funny family, except she freaked out and made us change it.

(21:55):
So after coming back home, she does not realize how
our family has changed and how we have grown up.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
It seems like she's like gotten in this very like
modesty like purity culture.

Speaker 4 (22:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (22:08):
I don't know, like maybe she's like like it seems
like she like the family is not like that. Yeah,
and somehow she's kind of like because Opie said sexist,
And I'm wondering if she means like, oh, like she
doesn't like men, or if it's like she ought like
she thinks women should do you know this, this and this.

Speaker 4 (22:23):
Like like you know, fake feminism where they're like women
are better than men, that kind of.

Speaker 3 (22:27):
Oh well, no, I'm wondering if it's like the massandry
or if it's like she's saying like traditional values for women,
you know, like because maybe if she's doing the traditional
values for women thing, that could kind of go in
line with the purity right where.

Speaker 4 (22:41):
She actually maybe she resented all of my boyfriends, and
when she would be home for breaks, she would complain
to my parents how they would give her a look
or how she felt that they didn't treat her correctly.
They never did anything to her though. Additionally, she is
extremely jealous of the relationship I have with my two
younger sisters. They are my best We've seriously made an
effort to include her whenever she would be home, but

(23:03):
she is honestly no fun to be around. You just
kind of shot it. Sorry, but it's like, well, yeah,
if you're gonna, you know, exclude them from doing things
with you, yeah, because you're just like pushing all of
your younger siblings together. But it's like, yeah, they're gonna
be closer exactly.

Speaker 3 (23:20):
I mean, yeah, your whole life, she's done this, and
now every time you guys try to have fun, she's like, now.

Speaker 4 (23:25):
That's stop it. Yeah, it's kind of on you, man. Yeah.
I will take drives of my little sisters to get froyo,
for example. And here is one of two scenarios. One,
if I invite Lena, she will first check with my
parents if this is okay. She will also need about
a day's notice, as she very specifically plans the time
of day when she does things, even though she does
not do much outside of work downtown, so obviously if

(23:45):
I invite her twenty minutes before, she will get mad
and say that she would have come if I told
her sooner because she needs to get ready. We will
then proceed to leave for Froyo without her, and she
will tell my parents that we didn't tell her in advance,
and now she feels excluded. My little sisters and I
will get yell by my parents.

Speaker 3 (24:01):
Oh, so you're supposed to plan all of your Frodo
trips like a week in events.

Speaker 4 (24:05):
Yeah, okay, I put on the calendar Froyo right. Yeah.
And another likely scenario if I do not invite Lena,
she will later find out that we went to Froyo
without her and will cry to my parents about how
excluded she feels. She's twenty one, alas, my little sisters
and I will still get yelled at. This happened over
and over again in the summer, and there came a
point where we'd have to sneak around both of my
parents and my sisters. I feel relieved that I do

(24:28):
not live at home anymore, but the way in which
she has terrorized my sisters makes me furious. Here are
some examples of what she does. One she refuses to
give my sister's rides to school, even when promised that
she would. My parents and Lena have a rotation. Keep
in mind, my school is a seriously three minute drive away,
and even on the way to her work, she has
refused to drive them because she was quote about to

(24:50):
make her oatmeal or because she had to focus on
preparing for work. Her work involves sitting behind a desk.
She's like an intern who gets paid really well because
she ended up staying after summer. Her work does not
involve preparation outside of the office. Another example, she will
refuse to let my younger sister, who is seventeen, take
a car when she needs it for tennis practice, and
she will hide her keys. She brainwashes my parents into

(25:13):
thinking that this is okay by telling them she's only
seventeen and can't be trusted on the road. My sister
has had to walk to tennis because of this or
beg my parents for a ride. Three. Lena used to
be overweight and is now more towards a normal way. However,
she body shames me even though I have no reason
to be insecure, and body shames my younger sisters constantly.
Whenever we eat. She says that we need to stop

(25:34):
stuffing our faces, and she will just stand and linger
in the kitchen to watch what kind of snacks we
eat and if we will clean up after ourselves, she
will yell at us constantly to clean things or do things.
My parents, though, still think that she's an age for
Lena even went to quote parents stay at my sister's
school and accompanies my parents to all adult events that

(25:54):
they attend, such as cocktail parties, dinners, or other events.
She even polices my mom's booze and takes all these
responsibilities upon herself even though no one wants her to.
She eats dinner with my parents every night, does not
go out, does not have friends, and gossips about us
to our parents. Lena also has an irrational fear of
bad things happening. She triple checks that all of our
doors are locked at all times, even though we live

(26:17):
in a town with virtually no crime and my parents
like them open. It sounds a little bit like OCD.
That's what I was thinking too.

Speaker 3 (26:23):
I think sounds like she's undiagnosed. Yeah, yeah, And it
sounds like a lot of your problems would go away
if you talk to your parents about getting her diagnosed.

Speaker 4 (26:31):
Right when I came home for Christmas, there were signs
all over my room. Don't forget to turn the lights
off when leaving and one's in the bathroom. Unplug everything
when done, because she thinks that the house could set
on fire. Like I mentioned earlier, she has an extreme
distrusted outsiders as well, and will treat someone differently heavily
based on their appearance. She once refused to eat ice
cream inside of an ice cream store because a black

(26:52):
man was sitting there. Yikes, that's just that's not OCD.
My guy, that's that's just plain yeap. What your parents
are just fine with this? Yeah? What, dude? The heck?
There are so many more things that she does, but
it comes down to her being a wanna be mom,
but a terrible one. She just yells at my sisters,

(27:14):
yells at me, and then has mental breakdowns about how
we exclude her. I'm sorry, and I know this is harsh,
but she has no life. We live in a very
small town. There is nothing for her here, yeap, and
she really needs to leave. I get angry when I
think about how she's basically free loading off my parents
for another year. She doesn't contribute any gas of food
or anything for free housing. She takes up space and

(27:36):
causes a lot of stress. She has all these strange
routines and ways in which things have to be done
or else she will freak out. You would think she
is OCD or something. Yet her room is always disgustingly messy,
and that does not seem to fit the profile. There
are different things. It's not OCDA. I feel like OCD has.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
Like this repetition of everything has to be neatly in order,
but it can also just be like, uh, like invasive
thoughts is a lot of from what I know of it,
it's like, oh my god, if I don't do this,
it's got like someone's gotta pass away. Oh my god,
if I don't do this, I'm gonna get like you know,
the house is gonna go on fire.

Speaker 4 (28:09):
So it's it's more invasive thoughts. Yeah, And I wonder
if it's like if if the messy room could still
fit into OCD, if it's like it could, Yeah, if
it's like the kind of thing where it's like she's
in control of that, but then when she's she gets
really freaked out when she's not in control of everyone
else's yeah stuff and like what everyone else is doing
or eating or anything like that. But I mean, I
don't I don't think, yeah, I don't think flying with

(28:30):
the messy room keeping a clean room. I think it
can be, but I don't think it's like the textbook
definition because it's just obsessive compulsive disorder. So it's right, right,
you obsess over things. So yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't
rule it out because of that. It almost feels like
like you don't have ADHD because you can sit grades
and you can sit still. Yeah, yeah, it's like, no,

(28:50):
there are different types of ADHD, right, But anyway, I'd
like to note that when she was in college, she
called my parents every day. She would get furious if
they didn't make time for her and needed their divided
attention for about forty five minutes daily. My parents just
think it's sweet and that she means well, but her
obsession with our family in a sense is really driving
me and my sister's crazy. When my parents and sisters

(29:11):
came to visit me in college for a long weekend,
all she did was mope around. I invited her to
go out with me to parties et cetera, but she
always refused. When I asked my dad what was up
with her, he told me that I needed to stop
rubbing it in her face how amazing my college experience is,
and that we need to let her be a little upset.
This is crap. I made my college experience amazing because
I wanted it to be. She could have done the same.

(29:33):
Her behavior towards us is so awful that I'm spending
the summer in my college town and I'm not going
on our annual trip to Florida. I know it sounds stupid,
but this is a big deal for my family. My
little sisters have expressed interest in staying with me, which
I would love, but my parents need to be on
board with this and financially support them, as I only
have the money to sustain myself at the moment. The
worst part is that my parents are brainwashed. They think

(29:55):
she's perfect, and when she comes to them crying about
how we exclude her, they actually I agree with her
and we get punished and reprimanded. My parents' marriage is
going to crap as well, as she constantly points out
what my dad isn't doing and sides with my mom
and everything my dad is too afraid to stand up
for himself as he does not want to deal with
more criticism from my mother. He now goes out of

(30:16):
town three days a week for business and stays with
his best friend. I have been in therapy as a
consequence of Lena's abuse towards me. I was painted as
the impulsive, overacting sister, as I would stand up against
the things that she did and said, but was always
seen as the bad guy. I have never seen Lena smile, laugh,
or simply let go. She is so uptight that it
really is making her life hard to live. But she

(30:38):
seems comfortable being angry and upset with things all the
time and a lack of friendship or romance in her life.
I have never met anyone like her, and I really
find her personality absurd, and I'm looking for some insight.
What is her deal? How can I help my little sisters?
They call me several times a week and I always
get a news story or two about Lena. My parents
do everything for her, and I think that she needs

(30:59):
to leave and get on with her life. I got
a big scholarship to my college, work two jobs for
pocket money and long term saving money. Signed my own
lease for a house next year, get good enough grades,
and rely less on my parents than she does. She
seems like an alien to me, as I don't understand
her at all and have never met anyone with such
extreme tendencies or rules that people around her need to

(31:22):
abide by. If she really is so upset about having
such a horrible relationship with her younger sisters, she needs
to look at herself instead of blaming it on us.
So what should I do? I should add that despite
the difficulties she brings, I want her to live a
happy and fulfilling life. I want her to be freed
of whatever this is because she deserves to be happy,
and I will always be open to trying to build

(31:42):
a relationship with her if she tries to work on
these issues and we do have an update. But what
should OPE do?

Speaker 3 (31:49):
I think that op is kind of coming at this
from a very neurotypical standpoint. She's like my sisters weird.
I don't understand her. How do I fix her? And
it's like, yeah, there are things that you can elements
you can fix, like hopefully the U and like the
other's like other little things that you can work through
with her in therapy or like if she was medicated.

(32:11):
But I think, like a lot of these you know,
things about her might be something like I am also
just kind of guessing here, but it might be something
that she needs to go to like a or a
psychologist for her.

Speaker 4 (32:25):
Yeah, but we do have an update. So first of all,
I don't think words can show how grateful I am
for the time that so many of you took to
comment and give me insight and advice that I had
never considered. Thank you so much. It gave me clarity
and a much clearer approach to take rather than just
assuming that my sister is incredibly annoying. So I called
my dad last night and in a very nice way,

(32:45):
explained how I was concerned about Lena exactly what we
should and outlined some of the behaviors to him and
explained how it isn't simply annoying to us. There has
to be some inner turmoil that she's dealing with. He
then revealed to me that she saw a therapist when
she was about twelve years old because a compulsion associated
with cheese. Dude, we freaking nailed it.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
I think also, just probably because Ope was basing this
off of like assumptions about about disorders like OCD, Like
that's I think it's really I mean, like, I really
do think that people should be more educated even if
you don't have.

Speaker 4 (33:19):
Like those diagnoses.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
Yeah, I think you, like, people should be more educated
on the behaviors and stuff that go along with these
diagnoses because like when you just base it off of
stereotypes of like oh clean, yeah, it's so.

Speaker 4 (33:30):
Much harder to catch. Oh yeah, absolutely, there's so many
more nuances to all of them.

Speaker 3 (33:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (33:34):
Apparently, whenever she saw cheese and our refrigerator, she had
to eat it. She could not go to bed and
fall asleep, or continue any daily routine without finishing the
cheese she had seen in the fridge. This explains why
she once physically hit me because I ate some of
her mozzarella balls last summer. I didn't know that they
were hers. They were just in the fridge. If in
the fridge, I think, I think it's hers. I think

(33:55):
we've established So I explained that I didn't think this
issue was resolved and had manifested itself in many different
ways that go far beyond cheese. Unfortunately, my dad was
not as receptive as I thought. He would be. Despite
my best efforts to make this come across as a
concern from a loving sister, I think he still interpreted
it as me trying to find fault and flaw in Lena.
He quickly turned the conversation to my younger sister, Bella fifteen,

(34:18):
and how her academic performance is his main concern right now,
and that Lina will figure out what path she would
like to take. I'm in a different state for about
two more weeks until finals are over. I am going
home for two weeks to see old high school friends,
et cetera. But I am then returning to my college
town for the summer as to avoid this toxic family
dynamic during those two weeks. I'm going to do this

(34:38):
one not instinant Lena in anyway. I know this will
require a lot of tiptoeing and being very careful, but
I really want to observe her behavior and watch how
she reacts to others. I texted her yesterday and asked
if she wants to go to dinner with me when
I'm back home. She agreed, and we set a date,
time and location and discussed what we were going to wear.
This is totally in her comfort zone. And I'm glad
that we have this setup two with Lena. I'm just

(35:01):
going to ask how everything is going, but am also
going to tactically ask some questions. Any help or ideas
with this will be appreciated about how certain things my
sisters do make her feel. I want to hear her
side of things. Hopefully during this conversation I can give
her a sense of my genuine concern for her well
being that comes from a good place. Hopefully she can
come to realize that her anxiety and routine is stopping

(35:22):
her from living a happy life and that she has
to seek help. But you know what you should seek
is full episodes with stories just like this one so
freaking true. Just go to Spotify, iHeart Radio or Apple
Podcasts or whatever your favorite podcast app is, do it
and searge Okay, story time, come on, seek it out.
Seek But there is a little bit more to the story.

(35:44):
But man, but I think that's a good idea what
we said. Yeah, I just want to point out nailed it,
but uh, there is a little bit more to the story.
My parents have never been ones to believe in mental
illness necessarily. Yike, yeah, kinda saw coming.

Speaker 3 (36:01):
I mean, like the fact that she has such obvious
symptoms and they were.

Speaker 4 (36:04):
Like, well, it's just Lena, She'll just figure it out. Yeah. Yeah,
like that was pretty obvious. We are estranged from both
sides of our family because they are, according to them, crazy.

Speaker 3 (36:14):
Now.

Speaker 4 (36:14):
I have no proof to back that up, but I
think if my parents are in denial about how problematic
our family dynamic has become. My mom has no tolerance
for talk about mental illness. So if my dad didn't
see this as a priority, my mom would honestly laugh
at me. This is why Lena needs to realize for
herself that she needs help, and I don't know what
else to do but to have a mature, one on
one conversation with her. Again, thanks so much for all

(36:35):
the comments. So many of you came from different angles,
and it was very helpful to see different sides of
the situation I had not considered. If any of you
have ideas about how to carry this conversation with Lena,
that would be greatly appreciated. And that's the end of
that story.

Speaker 2 (36:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
I think approaching it from like I love you, from
I want to help you, and just like yeah, treating
her like the adult that she is. Yeah, and saying that, like,
especially if your parents aren't supportive of like any mental
illness talks, I think you have to go to where
and say like hey, like once that conversation comes up,
saying like hey, I know that our parents have never
been very supportive, but I want you to know that

(37:09):
I'm here for you, yeah, and that I care a
lot about you, and there's nothing to be ashamed of.
This is just like a diagnose. Like I think people
have this weird fear of di like of getting diagnosed,
because they're like, oh, this litill change how people see me.
But it's like and it I mean there is a
lot of there's a lot of stigmas around diagnosis, but uh,

(37:31):
you have not changed at all.

Speaker 4 (37:32):
You just have a label now. Yeah, yeah, I'm still
the same. I think what comes along with it too,
is like, especially if you have parents that are invalidating
of your mental illness, then you kind of internalize that
too and think like no, like it's just a problem
with me. It's not like because my brain is different.
It's because like I just need to figure this out.
I'm too lazy, I'm too yeah whatever. So that's definitely

(37:55):
a struggle too.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
So you're on a good track, incredibly validating to get
that diagnostic.

Speaker 4 (38:00):
Yeah. Absolutely have someone that's supporting you in the family.
I think that's very big of you, very mature, and
I think you've got it. Yeah, you got this. Ope,
good luck to you. But that is the end of
that story. John here, we're gonna get back to this
juicy story.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
But a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (38:18):
My doctor illegally exposed my medical information. It made my
family turn a candst.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
To me, Uh, who's this doctor and why are they
still doctoring?

Speaker 4 (38:28):
My oldest sister's lifelong best friend has been my doctor
for a couple of years. Initially, my doctor, doctor A,
was a colleague of hers from the same clinic. But
after my doctor, doctor A was away on maternity leave,
I temporarily switched to my sister's friend, doctor B as
my primary physician, and it's been that way since the
pandemic began, and I never switched back. By the way,

(38:49):
this comes from Jukebox Rocks on the ur slash ookey
story Time separad it. So I have ADHD and get
prescription meds for it and have been for a few
years now. Something I haven't shared with any of my
family members for fear of backlash, since I come from
a long line of type A overachievers who don't believe
in ADHD and write it off as laziness.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
Oh brother, do I have news for you. Spend an
afternoon with me.

Speaker 4 (39:13):
Yeah. A few days ago, my siblings and I were
hanging out of my sister's house watching the Matthew Perry
Diane sawyer episode where he shares his history with substance
about and I made a comment about how skinny he
looks during one of the seasons of Friends. My sister,
then out of nowhere, says to me, well, it started
with prescription medication, so I hope you don't get hooked.
I was initially gripped with a feeling of absolute horror.

(39:38):
My other siblings were confused and looking at her for
further clarification, but she didn't say anything more. I spent
the whole night just frozen and with a deep pit
in my stomach. Later, when I found some time alone
with her, I had to pry the information out of her.
She had just gotten back from a girl's ski trip
and they were extremely wasted. Her friend, my doctor Bee,
slipped up and mentioned that she saw me recently for

(39:58):
an increase in my dosage and basically revealed to my
sister that I have been taking prescription Vivance for a
few years now. I am so livid I for your
utterly betrayed and have a strong urge to report her
for breaking HIPAA regulation hippo relations.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
I thought I was going to be so firmly against
that doctor, but now m M, I just of course
she shouldn't have said that. But it's not like she
was out here like yeah, oh they're taking this and
it's for that and blah blah blah. She's just like, oh, yeah,
I just saw your sister recently. She came in and
get more vivance something right, right, Just a complete one off,
drunken sentence. It's not even thinking about it.

Speaker 4 (40:37):
It sucks because it's like, it wouldn't be so bad
that the doctor did that, if the family wasn't so bad, you.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
Know, right, Yeah, that wouldn't really be a problem.

Speaker 4 (40:45):
Oh my sister won't stop texting and calling me about it,
literally all day long, begging me not to ruin her
friend's life forever. After years of hard work. She's obviously
worried about losing her friend, but she couldn't care less
about how disrespected I feel and how my privacy was violated.
And more than any thing, I worry that my sister
will share it with my parents, and my family will
never look at me or my achievements the same. So

(41:06):
ed to add a little more info. I've known doctor
B my entire life as long as my sister has.
She was my sister's friends since they were in first grade,
and they've remained close, and we've hung out with our
families on multiple occasions over the years. We've got on
trips together, including my sister's bachelorette. I always looked up
to her and found her cool growing up. She and
my sister both have kids around the same age and
they're close as well. She currently brings in the bigger

(41:28):
chunk of the income in their family and they rely
on it. And my sister keeps reminding me that I'm
also ruining two innocent children's lives in the process, which
is the only thing I feel guilty about. I adore
those kids and they don't deserve that, but I also
cannot get over how betrayed I feel. I always keep
a safe distance between personal and professional relationships, and would

(41:48):
have never picked her to be my doctor had the
circumstances not unfolded the way it did. She was the
next best doctor and was the obvious choice because I
wasn't really looking to switch to a new clinic during
the pandemic. We have some relevant comments, Opie on her
sister's personality. Doctor B doesn't know that my sister told
me yet. So far has just been conversations between my

(42:09):
sister and I. She's making it seem like they were
so sloppy wasted that it was a slip up and
a complete, one time, total accident. But I don't understand
why that would even come up at all, and don't
believe that my older sister flaunting sensitive info about my
siblings and I is a tale as old as time.
When we were kids, she would hold onto a secret
she found out about one of us till the perfect moment,

(42:29):
and would thrive on dropping the bombshell to our parents
during a road trip or in the interval of a
great movie and ruin the entire thing. It was her thing,
and I fear she hasn't fully gotten over that habit
as an adult. I feel like we've seen that though
she did that in front of everyone pretty much, right,
a very slight mention, but it would raise my brothers.
My older sister considers herself our parent too and has

(42:51):
always knocked or used stuff as leverage against us. I
used to fear her growing up and would hide my
journals at my friend's house because she would snoop. Definitely
lacks empathy. We do have an update. It's okay, wows up.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
Yeah. Yeah, It's just a lot to have, like responsibility wise,
I know chat everyone's flaming me right now because I
was like, eh, I'm not saying she didn't do anything wrong.
I'm not saying she didn't violate HIPPA and she can't
be sued or anything, right, But it's like it's a.

Speaker 4 (43:22):
Little more complicated of feeling well, yeah, it's really grey,
like yeah, because you're blowing up someone's entire life.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
They have kids, You're blowing up those kids' lives, and
I know that you're not doing it. She did it
when she said your medical information out loud.

Speaker 5 (43:35):
M Yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
But it's just a lot to It's a lot of
responsibility to be put in your hands where it's like
you're now essentially responsible for the trajectory of three different
people's lives, but we do have.

Speaker 4 (43:45):
An update three months later. Thank you for all the
advice and support on my original post. After reading the feedback,
I reached out to a close lawyer friend for advice
as well, and he, like most of you, agreed that
I should report it, and to do it without informing
anyone else. He said it was better for me to
do it sooner to have it on record. They prefer
any complaint to be filed within one hundred and eighty

(44:06):
days of when you knew that the act or a
mission complained of occur. Two days after that, I reported
to doctor B to ocr for violating HIPPA and a
Patient Safety Act in breaching my fundamental right to health
information privacy. I didn't tell my sister or anyone else,
but a few days later I saw my entire family
when I went home for the holidays. I haven't heard

(44:26):
anything back yet on my complaint, so I wasn't sure
if doctor B was aware yet, let alone tell my
sister that I had reported her, so I didn't say
a word. Turns out that wasn't my biggest issue at
that moment, though my sister had already told my parents
that I was on an extremely high dose of controlled substances.
I knew that my parents wouldn't take this news well,
but they were far more upset about it than I

(44:46):
could have imagined. My dad doesn't believe in ADHD and
thinks it's merely an excuse for those that allow themselves
to get easily distracted, especially since the age of social media.
He even remarks that he noticed that I was quite
slow with my responses since dropping out of my chess
club really absurd and offensive comments. I can't even remember
a lot of it because I was frozen. I just

(45:08):
sat there, nausea's and livid, with tears in my eyes,
just listening to the three of them, my parents and
sister take turns going off at me. My mom wanted
me to stop all medications immediately and that I'm better
than this and smarter than this, and even threatened to
tell your professors that you're on substances if you leave
us with no choice. But when she said that, it

(45:29):
hit me I had a choice. I could choose. I
could choose to never have to deal with this again
and to not let them treat me this way anymore.
So I did. Oh hell, yeah, yeah, exactly what my
take was going to be.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
At the end, I was gonna be like, oh, p,
did you ever consider that you actually didn't have to
sit there get dreamed by your entire family right over
something that they don't understand.

Speaker 5 (45:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
You could have just gone up and said, I'm actually
not going to take this.

Speaker 4 (45:53):
Yeah, get left. Exactly.

Speaker 2 (45:54):
I'm glad you know that.

Speaker 4 (45:55):
Exactly. I chose to say nothing and allowed them to
interpret my silence as agreeing and submitting to their ways,
as I have done so many times before. And then
I went to my room, chose to book a flight
and pack up most of my stuff. My books would
need buses of their own to be transported anywhere. The
next morning, I chose to call an uber a few
hours before my flight while they were still asleep, and

(46:16):
flew back to my university. Look at that, now she
is doing what you're doing. I choose me. In January,
I found out that doctor B had prior complaints from
patients against her, and my report had opened an investigation
that is currently ongoing. WHOA, So you can't even feel
bad about it, because it's already gonna happen next one
way or another.

Speaker 2 (46:34):
She was already bad doctors.

Speaker 4 (46:36):
Oh my gosh, she's been placed on temporary leave till
the case is resolved. I can't share more details on
that for now, but I will come back and update
once it's done. And we do have some relevant comments.
Let's go comment to number one says, I also have
ADHG and I studied neuroscience partly because I wanted to understand.
I also come from a family that things like ops
and I got the same bs from them all my life.

(46:57):
We now finally come to be able to make ADHD
visible and MRI scans what that's so cool and predicts
the presence of symptoms with an accuracy of up to
eighty percent. We can make visible the ways ADHD brains
are different from normal brains, not in their structure, but
in the way they make use of it. We can
see where our bodies use more oxygen at neurotransmitters, and

(47:19):
ADHD brains are visibly different from normal ones in a
way that is congruent with the symptoms. We can even
tell a part the inattentive type and the hyperactive type
with an accuracy of up to seventy five percent. This
is crazy. I want to give an MRI scans. Who's
going on up there? See where my ad issue is
shown up.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
I've got inattentive me too, for sure.

Speaker 4 (47:40):
People who say ADHD patients are lazy and their symptoms
are their own choices and a character flaw are as
ignorant and backwards as someone still believing that the flu
is caused by bad air or cancer is God's will.
If this family is so smart, they are doing a
really good job at remaining ignorant with all the evidence
out there. They have to really choose not to read

(48:00):
and educate themselves and become advocates for their child and sibling,
but instead actively avoid the newest scientific evidence that their
opinion is stupid and they have been crappy people all along, Opie.
It took me thirty years to make the step that
you made. Kudos on being so brave and mature while
still being in college. I'm still trying to come to
terms with self doubt, imposter syndrome, and depression. If you

(48:22):
can afford it, do some therapy. Growing up in such
a negative environment takes its tolls, even after you cut ties.
I'm proud of you. Yes, the hurdles together where you
are today were huge, and you did it all by yourself.
Never forget that here's an article about it. I want
to know that article. This is just a small study
in China, but they are happening everywhere and they all

(48:43):
come to the same conclusion. Opie responds, I have tears
in my eyes. Yeah, that really was I really needed
to read every single thing that you typed out here.
I'm so tempted to send this to my family, but
I don't want to interact with them right now, so
I won't. I love science just as much as they do.
Studying physics brings me so much purpose. I just know

(49:03):
I need some help in staying ahead of my course
and completing my assignments. And I'm finally okay with that,
Ohpi continues. In the short time that I've been away
from my family, I've felt so much more freedom in
accepting who I am, that I'm still smart and capable,
and that I will still become a scientist even if
I do it my own way. And I'm okay with
the fact that my family doesn't approve of my choices.
If they can't be bothered to listen to me, let

(49:24):
alone attempt to learn anything about my diagnosis, and try
to be there for me. They aren't worth worrying over.
I have spent far too much of my life doing
that already. I have no more time or energy to
give to that anymore. I'm channeling all of that towards
me achieving my goals and healing my trauma. Thank you
for listening and for sharing. I am so grateful for you.
And Opie comments on her family, it's their whole image.

(49:46):
We come from a long line of scientists, and many
of my family members have a PhD, and as far
as I know, none of them have been officially diagnosed
like I have, or maybe they struggled with it secretly,
but their work, ethic, and achievements are everything to them.
They would never reveal anything that would show otherwise. It's
the way we were raised, and I didn't know anything
else for the most of my life. Anyone who couldn't

(50:07):
pay attention was distracted in their eyes. Nothing more. Commentre
Number two says, sad thing is I get the feeling
that you could show all of this to Opie's family
and it wouldn't make much of a difference. Opie responds,
it wouldn't. You're right, I considered it for a second.
But you are so very right. I was seriously so blind.
For years. All I wanted was to be good enough
for them. Therapy is now making me realize so many things.

(50:30):
It's so bittersweet. My heart aches. And we do have
another update. But what do we think about those comments?
Those were some good ones.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
There was that first comment I really liked. Yeah, sees
a lot of discourse going on in the chat right overall.
It's like if your family is the kind of family
who's like, we don't even believe in like mental health
disorders in any way. Yeah, it's just your lit it's
a character flaw, yeah, which is like I've had to
deal with my own processes of going getting through shame

(51:02):
and guilt and you know, because nia's not helpful at all. Yeah,
And a lot of times when you're reinforced with that,
you're actually just lazy, you're actually just distracted, you're just bad,
You're just wrong. It really is a way for those
negative loops.

Speaker 4 (51:15):
Yeah. Yeah, and you you you really internalize it and
it just makes it all so much worse, so much worse.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
So it's good to be out of there. It's good
that you don't care, don't you don't have to worry
about these people's opinions about how you're living your life.
Just worry about getting good grades in college setting yourself
up for a nice career exactly.

Speaker 4 (51:33):
But we do have a second update three weeks later.
The worst part about going no contact with your sister
missing out on getting to hang out with your niece
and nephew.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
All.

Speaker 4 (51:42):
I don't know how many of you have actually gotten
no contact with your family, especially to the extent that
I have currently, but I'd love to hear any advice
you might have. At this point, I don't have any
form of communication with my parents and older sister, and
haven't since December. The most awful part about this whole
thing is my inability to reach out to my youngest nephew,
who I'm so close to. Every year I received a
Valentine's Stake card from them, and this year I got none.

(52:05):
It's incredibly lonely and I don't wish this on anyone.
I'm always wondering why they think I haven't called them.
As much as I'm growing and healing from this, I'm
also dealing with a lot of trauma and it's rough.
And there are some more relevant comments to that.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
Definitely some therapy to help with that.

Speaker 4 (52:20):
Yeah she's in it.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
Yeah you're so.

Speaker 4 (52:23):
Young, Opie comments on learning about herself. I think it's
so hard for me right now because for years, so
much of what mattered to me was getting approval and
being good enough for my family, especially since they're all
overachievers and place a lot of value in academic excellence,
and to feel no support from them at a time
when I could really use it, I've never felt so
alone and just out of place in this world. But

(52:45):
I'm also learning a lot about myself and how codependent
I was and relied too much on their opinions to
ever even form strong ones of my own. So the
bright side to this is figuring myself out. And Opie
on losing her sister, I've been having an extremely hard
our time the last few days dealing with this. I'm
also looking forward to when I can say my life
is much healthier and happier without my sister. I know

(53:06):
it will come, but right now I'm just experiencing so
much sadness. As a younger sister who looked up to
my sister so freaking much, all I wanted was to
be good enough for her to be proud of me
or think that I was worthy of her time and attention.
But I'm not, and coming to terms with that is brutal.
Comment Number one says, it really is like grieving the
death of a left one. Therapy helps, having support helps,

(53:26):
and being kind to yourself helps. For me, a big
issue with second guessing myself. Maybe I'm blowing these things
out of proportion. I should just apologize again. Those thoughts
were hard to get past. Opir responds, I'm having those
exact thoughts. I'm currently in therapy and it's not easy.
It seems like so much of the affection I thought
I felt for my family wasn't real at all, and
most of it in my head. Thank you for sharing

(53:47):
with me. It might not seem like much, but it
really does help to know that there are others out
there dealing with similar situations. It is so hard comgre
number two says, could I make a suggestion to you
create an email address for them, something like I love
Nephew at Gmail and I love Nissa at Gmail. Then
email them every time that you would have sent a
card or reached out, send emails that say happy Valentine's Day.

(54:09):
I miss you guys. Hey, I saw pictures or heard
through the grape friend that you did this. That's awesome
and I'm proud of you. This reminded me of you
today and I wanted to share. I would have the
first email to the account be a this is what
happened between your mom and dad and I and why
I'm no contact. It was never about you, guys, and
I'm always here when you're ready to contact me.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
That's a cute idea.

Speaker 4 (54:28):
Then when they're old enough to decide for themselves, maybe eighteen,
maybe you're earlier or later, depending on circumstances. At that point,
you can give them the password. Ope responds, this is
a wonderful idea, and I might actually do this. It
feels like a good way to express my feelings without
bottling them up. Thank you. Op comments on trusting herself.
It feels so awful to know that they don't really
have your best interests at heart, and it's a very

(54:48):
raw kind of pain. But you are right. I do
feel more confident in my decision as each day goes by,
and I know I did the right thing. And guess what, Dakota,
We've got another up day. Oh all right? Update number three.

Speaker 2 (55:04):
Hopefully it's more positive.

Speaker 4 (55:05):
Hopefully.

Speaker 2 (55:06):
Man, this is right after it happened, and now it's like, yeah, yeah,
you're gonna be really emotionally raw after such a big
kind of change or upheaval in your family life. So
it makes sense. But as you get more time in
between when it happened and where you're at now, it's
probably gonna be a lot easier to cope with, especially
after you see positive changes happening in your mental health

(55:26):
right now.

Speaker 4 (55:27):
Because you know you made the right decision long.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
And you're not carrying a lie anymore. Yeah, exactly, Carrying
that lie forever gets real heavy after a while.

Speaker 4 (55:34):
Oh yeah. So update number three two weeks later. Thank
you to every single person that has commented, reached out
via DM, or shared any advice with me. My ADHD
in current anxiety has me extremely overwhelmed, so please excuse
me for not being able to respond to each of
you individually. I get quite a few questions every day
about any update with the case. I'm not sure how
many of you are still finding this post, but I
really appreciate everything you've said to me to help me

(55:56):
get through this. I'm sorry I can't answer any questions
right now. Please know that once I have enough to
share or any real information, I most certainly will, but
for now there isn't much. The only thing I can
share is that I'm currently working with an attorney well
versed in hip of violations who is handling the matter
on my behalf. We have received a notice regarding the
outcome of the investigation from the ocr which I am
not allowed to share yet. I'm not sure if we,

(56:18):
along with the other patients who faced breach of privacy
from the same doctor, will be suing, because that's usually
the most unlikely outcome since it almost always falls on
the employers rather than the doctors. I've been told we
might proceed with the civil claim. There's a lot of
bureaucracy involved and it seems quite complicated, so I don't
have a timeline on what to expect it. I'm just
grateful to have a lawyer that knows what they're doing.

(56:38):
Thank you for your support. It's been the most hardest
and loneliest period of my time, and your kind words
help me get through it. And we do have some
relevant comments. Commented Number one says, Hey, it sounds to
be a good update so far. How did the situation
with your family turn out? Did they contact you? I
hope you're emotionally okay and have time to heal. Opie responds,
my mom has tried to contact me a few times,

(56:59):
but I have answer. My dad and sister haven't. I
have checked in with my other two siblings a few
times when I've just been so incredibly lonely that it
feels like the world is ending. I am not emotionally
okay at all. I am going to therapy and getting
help for it. But processing trauma is a very hard
and painful process. I can't explain to you in words
how it feels to have a stranger It make you

(57:20):
realize that your family has never loved you at all.
As much as my older sister was a bully to
me in some twisted way, she was my idol growing up,
and all I wanted was to make her proud of me.
I never felt worthy of her time or attention back then,
and never did even as an adult with many achievements,
and to know that she would pick her friends and
a heartbeat over me, it really was such a painful
stab in my back. I know things will get better.

(57:42):
I feel it in waves. I am finding confidence in
things every day. And we have another update, update number
four problem. I just found out that my family cut
me out of their insurance plan and I no longer
have access to health coverage, including my prescription meds for
ADHD or therapy, both of which I really need right now.

(58:05):
What are my options?

Speaker 3 (58:07):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (58:07):
Wow? Ooh, dang, Well that's kind of a dang that well, wow.

Speaker 4 (58:12):
That is a really aggressive approach on their end.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
Yeah, parent, your parents stuck a little bit more now.

Speaker 4 (58:18):
They don't want their insurance to be covering your medication. Dude,
do what you can to send them that MRI information.
Try your best to convince them if you can. I
know that's like a lot of heartache, but like I mean,
this is this is gonna be. This is affecting your
health at this point.

Speaker 2 (58:33):
Yeah, dude, that's a terrible like FAFO moment. Yeah, f
around and find out if you're not familiar with.

Speaker 4 (58:40):
Was not sure. I'm a full time student under the
age of twenty six, and my health insurance so far
had been included in my family's plan under dependent coverage extension.
A few months ago, I win no contact with my
family after they found out that I was on prescription
five AANS for my ADHD, something they absolutely do not
believe in and they refuse to support me. But I
haven't been able to get my meds this month and
it has been awful. Since I study full time, my

(59:02):
only means of income is a part time TA job
on campus which is currently on hold since the semester
has ended, and some tutoring I do during my very
limited free time. I'm struggling and on the verge of
a mental breakdown and could use any advice I can get.
What options do I have to get some health insurance
or any assistance whatsoever? Sorry if this has been hard
to read. My eyes fill up with tears anytime I

(59:23):
try to type this out. We do have some more
relevant comments. What QLI did they use to drop you?
Is one not required on the marketplace plans to experience
a life event to drop an inrollly mid year OPIE
dependent no longer eligible because of full independence, is what
I was told. I am currently involved in an ongoing
lawsuit due to hip a breach by my doctor. It's

(59:44):
caused a major rift between my family and me since
the doctor is the best friend of my older sister.
Hence the no contact and probably why they did this
common tre Number two says, you will most likely be
able to get medicaid. Do you have a local department
of social services that you can go to? Opie responds,
would I be able to qualify for Medicaid independence even
though my family has a high deposable income. I am
financially independent, but have been on their plan my whole

(01:00:06):
life until last month. I've reached out to a few
that were recommended by a university, but since my official
address is out of state where my parents are, I'm
having to get that sorted. First comment to number three says,
make sure that they're not claiming you as a dependent
on their taxes still, but generally yes, it's not based
on your family's income since you're not a minor and
don't live with them. OPI responds, I hadn't even considered this.
I need to look up how to check if they're

(01:00:27):
claiming me as a dependent. Thank you for pointing this out.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
I assume they can't if they've taken you off of
their insurance on the basis of independence. Yeah, then you can't.
Then then claim it can't be a dependent dependent on
your taxes.

Speaker 4 (01:00:40):
You think I would assume yeah, but I.

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
Don't know, and that they would fact check each other
qualifying life experience. It's like a reason why, which would
probably be them being like she came over and she
smashed all our windows and said I hate you all.

Speaker 4 (01:00:55):
Yeah, you could hers, which is not what happened. Yeah,
number five my final update. Farewell and thank you for
your support. I hope you read this. Hello everyone. I
want to express my deepest gratitude to all of you
who have reached out, offered advice for a safe space
for me to be heard, and providing unwavering support during
my time here. Your kindness has been a guiding light.
It has been the absolute darkest time of my life.

(01:01:18):
I was so incredibly lonely after making the difficult decision
to go no contact with my family. However, admitst to
this awfully painful period that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
I discovered a newfound sense of belonging provided by all
of you compassionate strangers of Reddit. To those of you
that were proud of me, I cried a long cry
for every single time I read those words, and I
will carry them with me till the very end. Science

(01:01:39):
is my purpose here I will rise again and hopefully
help change this world for the better someday. By the way,
you can change our world by checking us out on Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio. We've got full episodes, so as
just like this one. Just so story, Okay, story, Tom,
That's why I got search.

Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
I gotta search and then we'll be bango. The world's
in the palm of your hand.

Speaker 4 (01:02:01):
Yeah, we've changed your life. You're welcome. But there is
a tiny bit more to the story. Do we have
any final thoughts?

Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
All the same thoughts I had before me too.

Speaker 4 (01:02:11):
As I embark on a healing journey, I've decided to
take a step back from here. As someone navigating ADHD,
I can sometimes become overwhelmed with the feedback. Therapy has
taught me the importance of focusing on my mental well being,
and given the financial challenges I'm facing an ongoing legal issues,
I will be working two jobs to make ends meet
and afford the healthcare and stability that I need while
I'm off from school. I cannot express how much your

(01:02:34):
support has meant to me, but at this time I
must prioritize my responsibilities and take care of myself till
I'm back. I want to leave you with a quote
that resonates deeply within me. Pass on the kindness of strangers,
for they have the power to mend the broken and
inspire the lost. From the bottom of my heart, I
thank you for becoming the family I needed to when
I felt most alone. May your lives be overflowing with happiness,

(01:02:55):
love and success. Take care.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
Oh well, Saga, we did it.

Speaker 4 (01:03:01):
Sweet how sheet she did it?

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
We did it, she did that, We have collectively done it.

Speaker 4 (01:03:07):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 5 (01:03:08):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:03:09):
Yeah, it's still a lot to go through. Yeah, but
we're we're looking.

Speaker 4 (01:03:13):
It's looking run the right path. It's looking better run
on the right path. And someday, you know, I'm sure
she already feels a little bit grateful for this happening.
But someday, once all the like grief of it has passed,
she'll feel really grateful that she did this for herself.
And yeah, consider her life changed. Boom, I think you
already knew that changed life, changed life right ahead of us.
But yeah, that's the end of the stories. At the

(01:03:34):
end of the.

Speaker 2 (01:03:35):
Episode, Hey it's sam og host.

Speaker 4 (01:03:39):
We're Gonnet.

Speaker 2 (01:03:39):
Back to these delectable stories.

Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors to
help support the show.

Speaker 2 (01:03:44):
My family mistreated me after I came out as queer.
I don't want to be a part of them anymore.

Speaker 5 (01:03:50):
Sounds like you need to hit the highway.

Speaker 2 (01:03:52):
I thirty three female. Am struggling with so many things
that have happened and are happening between me and my family.
This year has been a very rough but great year
for my kids and me. By the way, this comes
from user a Malanka thirteen and if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay
Storytime Summer. So I met a woman out of left
field and fell in love. My family, on the other hand,

(01:04:14):
did not approve of me coming out. My mom pushed
me away and stopped communicating with me as much. We've
always had a strained relationship as an mother and daughter
relationship where I could never do good enough. When I
came out to my Baba, my grandmother, who I had
a very close relationship with. Her reaction came out of
left field and she completely cut me out of her life.

(01:04:34):
She refused to respond to my text but I saw
she opened and read them the night I was there
with my kids for dinner, and I tried to have
a conversation with my baba about my new partner. She
told me she never wanted to hear about her, meet her,
and she would never be family. When leaving that dinner,
I went to my partner and I drank until blacked out,
went for a walk, slipped and fell and broke my

(01:04:55):
foot in two places. And kids, let that be a lesson.
Don't drink doingscess.

Speaker 5 (01:05:00):
Drink and walk.

Speaker 2 (01:05:01):
Guys, don't drink to excess when you're upset. I'm just
gonna break your foot in two places. My family got
more and more distant. I ended up moving in with
my now fiance a couple of months after moving because
one we had a really hard time not being together,
and two my parents were pushing me out of their
house before school started and I wasn't able to find
anywhere to go. I was living with my parents after

(01:05:22):
I separated from my abusive ex husband, going through workers'
compensation due to workplace PTSD, and fighting for coverage for
two and a half years with no income, finally winning
my battle just as I met my partner. Oh wow, one,
but yeah, it's a lot to deal with here. Certainly
you've got a full full plate. My mom kept making

(01:05:44):
comments about my partner, saying that she was only with
me for the money I won, and trying to find
reasons other than her loving me for her to be
with me, trying to put crap in my head convincing
me to break up with her. It took me a
couple months after moving in with my partner to find
somewhere to move my stuff from my parents' house for
storage due to us moving into a townhouse and not
having enough room for everything. I constantly updated my mom

(01:06:05):
on the situation and told her ahead of time when
I was going to stop by and get stuff, but
that apparently wasn't good enough. I had full access to
their house and property, yes, but I never showed up
without a heads up after moving out. However, the moment
I started moving everything out with a truck and trailer,
things started going insane. They locked me out of the house.
They didn't tell me they did this, and I had

(01:06:26):
to find out when going to the house to get
stuff after telling them I was going. Then, once I
found that out, they told me I had to make
appointments to come and get my stuff. When one of
them was home. I asked what I did for things
to change, and they never answered me.

Speaker 5 (01:06:39):
Well, they got a lie. I saw it before you
get there, and then li, I saw it after you
get there. Yeah, makes sense.

Speaker 2 (01:06:44):
Your parents don't support you being gay. That's all this is.
Your parents are bigoted.

Speaker 5 (01:06:49):
That's so sad man. That's tough.

Speaker 2 (01:06:51):
It's one I feel is pretty much virtually impossible to
come back from as well. But I digress. It took
me three months from August to October to get most
of my stuff out, and ended up leaving some big
furniture because they chose to take my mattress without asking
and refused to give it back. Out of all the
stuff they would hold hostage, they'd take your mattress, the
grossest thing you own.

Speaker 5 (01:07:12):
Maybe because they don't want to support her and give
her the thing that she will do the bad things on.

Speaker 2 (01:07:18):
She's like, I don't want you committing sins on this match.

Speaker 5 (01:07:22):
I'm not going to give you the support to commit
those sins.

Speaker 2 (01:07:25):
Then they told me and my friends who came to
help to get out. I made the decision to just
walk away from what was remaining. This was the last
day they were allowing me to get my stuff, and
they insisted I bring my kids, yet hovered while we
did things. My partner was not allowed on the property
because she called the cops one time while moving stuff
as my mom blew up. My mom locked my helpers

(01:07:46):
outside and me inside the house to yell at me,
and my partner was concerned for my safety. My mom
initially threatened to call the cops before they were called
over the fact that we wanted to prop the door
open to make moving easier, and I offered fifty for
hydro as that was an issue for her. I had
to put my dog of fourteen years down, which broke

(01:08:06):
my kids and me as he was a huge part
of our family, My Bob, I didn't respond to my text.
My mom was happy she got to hold him the
day before, and then she was more concerned about me
signing my snowmobile back into my dad's name. Fast forward
to December, when I got a message from a cousin
I don't talk to through her mom's Facebook messenger regarding
my Gigi, my grandfather. She told me that my Gigi

(01:08:28):
was put into pallative care due to pancreatic cancer that
had spread to his liver and that he had been
declining very fast. She told me she wasn't sure if
I was aware, but it wouldn't have been fair if
I didn't know. She said she was in town and
had helped him listen to a voicemail of mine, but
wasn't sure if he had called me back due to
his lack of ability, and that his phone had now

(01:08:48):
been disconnected. I completely broke down and ran to him immediately.
At that point I had left him two voicemails and
no response. I went and visited him every day or
every other day, half the time with my kids and
the other half without. He loved every single visit. He
lit up and told us how much he loved us.
I cried so much over the two week span, but
also saw his decline really fast. One night I went

(01:09:11):
to see him and they were changing his diet to
minced food and had put a needle in his arm
as he was having difficulty chewing food and swallowing his
crushed meds in apple sauce. Was there for over two hours,
just helping him get comfortable and calming him as he
woke from sleep every five minutes, reaching to the sky
and mumbling. I had a very hard time leaving him.
He would calm when I spoke to him and would
grab and hold my hand.

Speaker 5 (01:09:32):
Dang ah, wow ah, that's hit a little close. Oh man,
that's hardang.

Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
Hard being around It's hard. That's hard. That's just difficult.
Just letting that simmer for a second. I made a
post about my Gigi, how sad we were about his condition,
but also how we were enjoying as much time as
we could while we still could. The aunt, whose daughter
had reached out through her messenger, then contacted me, or
rather attacked me over the fat that I was going

(01:10:01):
against my Gig's wishes and that I was risking my
Baba denying me any access to Gigi due to making
that post. I lost it because I didn't know any
of his wishes or really any information. No one had
told me anything. How was I supposed to know this?
She told me to contact my parents, to which I responded,
you even made a comment about your daughter not caring

(01:10:21):
if my mom ever spoke to her again when she
told me about my Gigi. So what do you mean
talk to my parents when I have no contact with them.
I'm still confused as to what it was that the
Gig did not want, probably what Baba didn't want, which
I think is what just having your having Op's girlfriend around?

Speaker 5 (01:10:39):
Can't we have it on that? Well?

Speaker 2 (01:10:41):
Guess what turns out Gigi still loves Opie, doesn't that? Oh? Really,
that's what it sounded like. She was there taking care
of her. The following day, I received a message from
my cousin, whom I had started messaging through her profile
to keep her updated on Gigi after she initially told
me about him. She told me that he had passed
two hours ago and wasn't sure if any one had
told me, But after consoling her mother, she reached out

(01:11:02):
to me. The moment I read the message, I yelled
to my partner and then collapsed to my knees crying.
I wasn't going to get the chance to go see
him before he was taken to the morgue. I wasn't
going to have time to pick my kids up and
then take them to say they're goodbyes, and none of
my family had the decency to tell me. My Gigi's niece,
whom I have been in constant contact with, admitted to

(01:11:23):
knowing about him, but waited to hear from my dad
if it was okay to tell me. Despite knowing everything
that was going on, she kept things from me, even
when I asked her to keep me up to date
on my grandparents. I have a brother who wasn't really
a part of my kids and my life due to
his choices. We had a big falling out over lots
of things, and instead of taking accountability for his actions,
he chose to double down and blame me for everything.

(01:11:45):
He also chose not to allow me to meet my
niece and told me i'd see her at family gatherings
a couple times a year. I'd asked to make arrangements
to see her once a month, which he denied. I
blew up on him because he hadn't told me anything
and chose to block me on Facebook instead. Partner has
been absolutely amazing through everything.

Speaker 5 (01:12:02):
Let's go.

Speaker 2 (01:12:03):
She keeps blaming herself for breaking up my family, but
it's not her fault. It's the fact that after people
pleasing my whole life, I finally found the real me
instead of being what everyone else wanted me to be.
Well yeah, no, no no, But like if you take
that like at face value, it's like, yeah, it's theoretically
it's Opie's fault because OPI is now living their truth.

(01:12:24):
But what you gain out of living in truth so
much better than what you're losing because you're finding out
that you're losing, you're just losing a bunch of people
who wouldn't have accepted you anyway. So really you're kind
of like not even losing anything. You're just making space
for more positivity to enter your life. But on a
very real level, it's the bigoted family's fault for gutting

(01:12:47):
you out. That's his fault. It really is, You're on
the right track. My family is fully refusing to accept
me for who I really am. My kids absolutely love
her more than they do their own dad. And by
the way, if you love us, you can listen to
more stories like this in the full episodes that we
have waiting for you on Spotify and iHeartRadio and Apple

(01:13:07):
podcasts and wherever you listen to podcasts. What they have
to search Riley.

Speaker 5 (01:13:11):
Okay, story time.

Speaker 2 (01:13:13):
Okay, we do have a little bit more story left.
Let's finish it off. When my partner picked up my
kids from my ex on Christmas Day, the kids made
a comment that my brother had reached out to their
dad to wish them a merry Christmas and my daughter
a happy birthday. This hurt because my brother didn't like
my ex and had stayed away from my kids because
of a comment my ex made to his now wife

(01:13:33):
before we got married. They were holding that comment against
my kids and even me after we separated, which they
admitted to me. I am huge on family and being
close to them, but with everything that has happened, I
don't think I can continue trying to be a part
of such a toxic family. I don't think I can
keep trying to connect with them, please them, or continue
subjecting my kids to such a toxic environment. Am I

(01:13:55):
the a hole for not wanting to have anything to
do with my family after everything that has happened? And honestly,
that's going to be a big fat no from me
when there's like bigotry involved and like, of course you
don't want your kids around that. Imagine the stuff they
could say about you and your partner to your kids,
like while you're not around, you know, like, I don't know, man.

Speaker 4 (01:14:14):
Like, especially if like the kids grow up to be
part of the LGBT community, you know what I mean,
They're not going to be accepted.

Speaker 2 (01:14:20):
Either, right, It's like, I just don't want if I
had hypothetical kids, I wouldn't want them being influenced by
people who have like bigoted beliefs about someone who's literally
their daughter, who was in an abusive relationship with a guy,
broke up with him and then realized maybe I like girls.
And now it's like, no, you're your tainted meat. You know,

(01:14:42):
I don't know. I think you are better off without
trying to please these people who you fundamentally won't be
able to please because they have a core belief that
you are just incorrect. Yeah, so that is the end
of that story.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My father wasted company profits on his secret affair… while I sweat building it! - r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP2157