March 1, 2025 • 44 mins
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00:00:00 r/trueoffmychest - PART 5: I just found out my fiancé is a LIAR…but I’m supposed to marry her in TWO WEEKS!
00:29:54 r/MarkNarrations - AITA for thinking my boyfriend should help my daughter?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og
Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories
coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute
break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.
I just found out my fiance is a liar, but
I'm supposed to marry her in two weeks.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Part five. WHOA all right?
Speaker 1 (00:15):
This is a story that we've been going down the
last couple of days. It is insane and it's about
to get more insane. Or we got some some tldrs
for if you just are hopping into this. So, hi everyone,
It's been a while since I logged into red on
this account only to see a couple one hundred messages
begging me for an update. So I figured I wouldt
(00:35):
least sort a few things out that are commonly being asked,
by the way. This comes from one top three nine
three four on the r slash Okay story Time subreddit.
So so tldr for everyone who's just joining. So Op
called off his wedding after finding out Sarah his fiance
was helping her sister Evelyn hide an affair. Drama Level
is teleing novella. We are we are going deep. Things
(00:57):
escalated when Evelyn attacked op got arrested, and later tried
to frame her soon to be ex Marty for child abuse.
All right, so Evelyn's a piece of poop. Sarah flip side,
spilled all the family tea and helped Marty win custody,
but OPI is still on a wait and see terms
with her. Now, OPI's questioning trust, love and why his
life feels like a Reddit soap opera. Oh yeah does yeah?
(01:21):
And like really importantly, Sarah has been flipping side? But
was There was all this family drama about how Evelyn
had always been like, in her eyes, someone that she
couldn't upset, and so she's finally getting over her people
pleasing tendencies. But op is like, wait, is she still
trying to people please me? Is this relationship real? Am
I just seeing this like mirror image version of her?
(01:43):
But I think we're going to see if op is
going to stay with this person. Oh all right, there
we go. So, first off, Marty and Evelyn are divorced.
Took a bit over a year and a half for
it to be finalized, but despite Evelyn's high jinks installing,
that seems to be about typical for where we live.
The only notable things about the divorce itself is that
Marty was granted primary physical custody of their daughter, which
(02:05):
was seen as a bit of a coup considering how
these things usually go. But to be fair, Evelyn mostly
did that to herself. Yeah, by lying about the abuse. Definitely,
Marty's lawyer was able to make a huge stink about
her false charges in the court, as well as the
psychologist reports that were combined with the fact that Marty
already had custody, and also the psychologist reports were from
(02:25):
their child basically saying that they had seen Evelyn and
her affair partner doing the spicy sleep yep which you
know you don't should you shouldn't expose your children to.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Don't do that.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Him and his daughter had been living with his parents
since he filed. The judge seemed to think that it
was appropriate to basically just leave things how they were.
It's true what they say, guys, possession is nine tenths
of the law. I what does that mean? Can you
guys tell us what that means? Possession? I don't know.
I've never heard that that. I mean, that's insane.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Like so, if you like, I am accusing you of something.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
If you have, you know, the weapon that did it,
then that's basically all you need, even if we don't
get the full story.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
A legal expression that means a person with physical possessions
of something has a stronger legal claim to it than
anyone else. It can be used in reference to property
law or criminal cases.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Ah okay, so it's almost like a squatter, Like all
right if you're.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Oh, because the kid kind of had already been with Marty. Yeah,
so that's the kid should be able to continue to
staying with Marty. Keep that in mind if you ever
get divorced yourselves. The financial fallout didn't seem to be
that big of a deal. The house was sold, Marty
got a slightly bigger share of it than Evelyn did
in lieu of maintenance slash alimony. And that was that.
(03:42):
I actually had dinner with Marty at a little bar
and grill close to where I work one night, and
he thanked me again for my help and had a
lot of nice things to say about Sarah Whish. I appreciate. Wow,
Sarah OPI's fiance or was fiance now now just maybe
girlfriend is complicated. She's really been coming through as an
aunt for his little girl and spending time with her
pretty frequently. I didn't point out to him that this
(04:03):
is because there's no way she'd get to see her
when it was Evelyn's weekend, as the sisters are still
not talking. But I'm sure he can figure that out
on his own. One interesting, but I still think that
shows that she cares, even like I believe her, I
believe her. I think that shows that she cares. One
interesting thing that came out of that dinner is that
Marty told me that Evelyn wrote him a big letter
(04:26):
during the proceedings, begging him for another chance. And in
this letter she confessed a lot of things that even
Sarah was unaware of. Oh, so we're getting even more
tea like. Just to be clear, Evelyn not only cheated
on Marty but accused him of abuse to try to
get custody of their daughter.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Of their child, and then did weird things.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
And did weird weird things.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
What more can one person do?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Oh there's more. John turns out this wasn't Evelyn's first
adultery rodeo. Of course, She's been riding many horses. Oh,
she had cheated on Marty when they were dating, and
again shortly after they got married. Of course, Marty and
I were both stymied by that. Why would you marry
someone you were cheating on? Like, no offense to Marty here,
but he's not rich and he's not some super stud,
(05:12):
just a slightly quirky, normal looking high school teacher. If
Evelyn didn't like that, then she certainly didn't need to
marry him. Anyway. It blew my mind. I feel I
feel like Marty's getting dunked on unnecessarily getting dun he said.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
He said, uh, slightly quirky looking high school teacher, and
I went.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
To just just zumed it on me.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
I mean, tell me, you don't tell me you don't
teach history.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I could see you as my cool history teacher. I
could totally see you as my cool history teacher. Give
me like threekish look, does John look like a cool
history teach art teacher or something? Not a history teacher? Dude?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
History?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, h history teacher's cool, but it's not history history teacher.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Art, Like I teach you how to paint? Like, like,
who is it?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
What did he teach? Huh huh?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
People always say that's me.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Kind of both.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I literally have the same haircut.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
But John John with no b oh.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Yeah, young John, that's true. That's fun John. Back in
the day, people do call you that. If people call
me that all the time because.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
The hair, Yeah, it's so you for real, for real, And.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I did I used to have glasses just like that.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Yeah, we need to get you some some circle some like.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Really some really big ones too.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Yeah. See, princess, says our teacher.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
So boom, all right, all right. If Evelyn didn't like that,
then she certainly didn't need to marry him anyway. It
blew my mind. She went on to say that she
was seeing a therapist and working on herself and all
the usual stuff, but neither Marty nor I felt like
therapy would help her very much. I mean, it was
clear to me that Evelyn's cheating wasn't because of some
undiagnosed childhood trauma or self esteem issues. Given what she
(06:48):
tried to pull in court, it's way more likely that
she has a morality problem. And I don't think therapy
can fundamentally change the nature of someone that drastically. What
do we think about that? Do you think that's true?
Speaker 4 (06:59):
I mean I think that like and but this is
like you need you need the freaking the Cavalry, the
Michael Jordan, Lebron James of.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Therapy to get you this, to get to this.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
But I think I don't think it can hurt, you, know,
like I feel like you can get better. Yeah, I
think she can get better. Is she just like at
her core, an unchangeable just source of pure evil?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Maybe?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I don't know. I think uh, I think there's extreme
edge cases.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I don't think anyone is a irredeemably bad I think
we can all make improvements. That being said, do you
have to be there while someone's improving.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
No?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
And I don't think you should be anywhere close to
this woman, uh.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
For them to get back together?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
No? Please No. I share with Marty some of the
insights I had gotten from my conversations with Sarah about
her relationship and child with Evelyn, and we came to
the conclusion that fundamentally Evelyn is just a user. She
will basically do whatever she wants, use anyone how she wants,
and she will never consider how it impacts other people
(08:09):
because she feels she can just manipulate everyone into getting
off her back. Suffice it to say, Evelyn's letter didn't
have much of an impact on Marty, or rather, it
only firmed up his already solid resolve to divorce her.
Good Marty said that he felt that she was so
dishonest and manipulative that even her miacolpa confessions had an
air of manipulation about them, and I tend to agree.
(08:31):
I think it was a last ditch effort to try
and appear truthful to him, but too little, too late. Secondly,
during this dinner, Marty also told me that he had
finally contacted the wife of Jake, the affair partner, a
couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
WHOA, he's been waiting on that one. He's been making
him sweat.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I asked him why he waited so long, and he
said he just wanted to make sure that it didn't
impact his divorce with Evelyn in some way. I didn't
like that answer, but I could at least understand it.
He said that she was a nice lady who was
apparently incredibly shocked when he presented her with the evidence
of what Jake and Evelyn had been up to. Remember,
Marty had a video of them in his house. It
seems like missus Jake had absolutely no clue that anything
(09:16):
was going on. She was too busy dealing with their
small child, I think one or two years old. Marty
felt pretty bad about the whole thing, but he said
that if the situation was reversed, he would want to know. Yeah.
I think that's true. I could only nod in agreement
with him here. It seems like a difficult but necessary
thing for him to do. There's no update on if
that couple are getting divorced or not, but Marty said
(09:36):
he had the impression that she was going to try
and salvage something due to their small child. I did
ask him if he was interested in getting back at
the guy, but Marty just waved me off. He said
that anything he did to him would probably just make
it harder for his wife and kid, and he'd rather
just get on with his life. I think that feels true.
I can understand that. But I think Marty is a
better guy than I am, because if I was in
(09:58):
his shoes, I would I've really put the screws to
that guy. Well, I guess Jake has enough of his
own problems right now. Anyway. Lastly, I know people really
want an update about me and Sarah, so here it is,
because again, Opie was about to get married to Sarah,
and then it was put in its complicated territory, so
let's see what happens. We had a good trip in Queensland.
(10:20):
The weather was hot, but evidently pretty mild this last Christmas.
There were lots of beach days, lots of spending time
with my nieces. Sarah's an elementary school teacher and she's
fantastic with kids, and all in all, it was a
great time. I think Sarah and I both found it
really helpful to be away from home for a couple
of weeks. Being together in a different setting really helped
us focus on the here and now and not so
(10:41):
much on the wild trip we'd both been on. By
the time we left to come back to the States,
we were both in a very relaxed state of mind,
and a lot of problems that we had that seemed
very difficult to get past started to feel a lot smaller. Okay,
I feel like we're sailing into good territory here.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
We're getting there.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
That's not to say there aren't still sore spots for
both of us. Predict my newfound desire to never get
married has not been easy for Sarah to adjust to
and to be frank, the better our relationship got, the
more this became an issue. I had to explain to
her It's really not about us or just about us.
It was more about witnessing a bunch of bull crap
in a short period of time by a lotted from
(11:17):
people that just turn me off to it. In general,
the cheating, physical and emotional lies, the pain, all of
that just seems way too heavy for me now to contemplate.
She stowed on that for a few days, and then
one night while we were washing up from dinner, pausing
right here, do we think she is going to break
up with Opie or stay together with Opie?
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (11:37):
I feel from everything I know, just making a total guess.
Sarah is the type that's like, I want to get married,
I want to have the wedding, I want to do
all this. I do think, I mean, Opie said like
it became a problem because they were basically becoming serious
about their relationship again, and she's.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Like, well, I want to get married.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
You know.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
At this point, all that being said, I don't think
like Schole she would break up with him.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
I think so pull one or two.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
I think she I think she cares about marriage a lot. Yeah,
and if she believes that Op never wants to get married,
I think she might not want to see in that relationship.
And we got three votes to break up. John's saying, Nah,
I'm hanging in with Naman ash m r. All break up.
We got seventy one, oh change.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
That's going back and forth all over the place.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I think she's had time to reflect on herself and
stop the people pleasing. She's finally found out what she wants.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
And she wants to get married.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
That would be kind of a cool character arc for her,
but I think it's not all right.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Let's see. She stud on that for a few days,
and then one night, while we were watching up from dinner,
she asked me if I still intended to have children
someday or not. It was a fair question, one that
I hadn't really been asking myself. You see, one of
the things I had been working and looking forward to
was starting a family with Sarah. I mean the sincerely,
she would be amazing mom. She works with kids every day,
so you would think it would put her off, but
(13:00):
rather you can tell it's basically her calling. Just the
way she is with my nieces is freaking adorable, So
probably having kids is like something she needs in a relationship. Anyway,
I realized that while I may have emotionally given up
a marriage, I hadn't given up on having a family.
What's the difference, hear me out really quick to me,
(13:21):
Let's say you have a kid and all this stuff happens.
It's just as it's just as heartbreaking as having a marriage.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
But the legal but don't have to go.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
But I feel like the legal wasn't like the most
toxic part of this whole process. It was like the
ripping a part of like this family union.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
She did accuse him of what she accused him.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Of, Yeah, but she accused him because they had a kid,
not because not because of And so like all this
could still happen if you don't have a marriage. Pinky
Slayer says, Yeah, you don't need to be married to
have a family exactly. And the family was what was
broken up. Yeah, and that's what was so hard. And
so I'm like, if you're not emotionally ready for a marriage,
how are you emotionally ready for a kid?
Speaker 4 (14:05):
Well, I maybe his thought process here is like, hey,
like I do want kids, but knowing how bad it
can go, I want to mitigate. You know, it can
go bad, like if you have a kid, you are
going to court to decide customer right. But I think
my guess is he's like, let me just mitigate how
much that would be? And it's like, yeah, I really
(14:25):
really do want kids, I really really maybe even do
want a relationship with with someone a life partner, but
I don't want the headaches that come with being legally married. Yeah,
you're right, it's very similar.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
It is very similar.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
But I think he's basically like, Hey, I want a
life partner and a kid, but how do I make
it as less bad as possible?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Emmy says, legally he is more protected.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
Not getting married may allow them to remain separate in
finances and set expectations.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Yeah, I do. I do think it minimizes things. But
I think I feel like, I guess your point. Yeah,
what I'm saying is like, if you're not emotionally marriage,
if you're not like emotionally ready for like the finality
of marriage, the finality of having a kid ties two
people together too, Like that's also I think as an
emotional burden, if not more of an emotional burden.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
The marriage baby solf problems.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
That is true, but I didn't forgot baby solve problems anyway,
Opie says, I know that sounds odd, but you can
tell that I hadn't thought this through all the way.
Sarah's question basically made me think much more long term
than I had been willing to do previously, and I
struggled to come up with a good answer at the time.
I was pretty open to Sarah about what I was
feeling at the time, and she seemed like she understood.
She said, I want a family too, but if you
(15:40):
don't want one, I'd still want to be with you.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I was not expecting that.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
There was some respect on my nerves.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
John, God, Wow.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
John, you have twenty three.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
That's okay. I still love you. I still love you four.
I was boom. Almost changed my mind.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Oh oh yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
It's the peer pressure too.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
You you you stood fast.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I stood on this visited business down.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
It was nice to hear, but I'm not sure that
I would be happy if that's the case. Like I said,
Sarah would be an amazing mom, and it feels like
bull crap on my part if being with me denies
her that opportunity. We went back and forth on this
a little bit, with me trying to convince her she
was giving up too much and her holding fast to
what she said and not backing down. We basically ended
the discussion with an agreement on both sides to think
(16:29):
about it more and come back and talk about it later.
So that's what I did. I know some people don't
want to have kids, but deep down inside I knew
that I did. More than that. I wanted a family,
something approximating the family I grew up in as a kid,
and to me, that means a mother and a father
together with their children, all in the same house. At
this point, the point of me being married or not
(16:51):
becomes essentially moot, because if you split, there's still child's
important custody, and you'll likely be a de factove spouse anyway.
So splitting communal property and all that jazz, it's like
the old saying six of one, half a dozen of another.
What does that mean? I've got I don't know these sayings.
Of course, six of one, half a dozen of another,
you get six and one.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
But then I think it's like tomato tomato.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Yeah, yeah, you can call it whatever you want, but
effectively it's a marriage just with a certificate or not.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Idiom used to say that one does not see any
difference between the two possible choices.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah, six of one, like because like you can either
have six one or half a dozen, and half a
dozen is six to two, so it's like.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
The same thing got them.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Once I had accepted that, I asked myself if I
would get into this kind of child rearing slash common
law slash marriage type situation with any other women other
than Sarah, Like, would it be easier for me to
commit to that if it was a different woman. The
more I thought about it, the less I felt that
this was true. I love Sarah that had never been
in doubt. My trust in her have been damaged pretty seriously.
(17:52):
But if we had more time and hadn't had a
wedding looming over our heads, we might have been able
to make it work. I felt pretty strongly that the
time constraint had played a bit a big part in
me pulling the pin on the impending nuptials. Now before
anyone gets their hopes up, Sarah and I didn't rush
out and get married. We did, however, sit down again
(18:14):
and have a more serious talk about our future. One
that was frankly way overdue. I acknowledged that I still
wanted to have a family in the future. She said
that if we did have children together, she would prefer
to be married or at least cohabiting or cohabitating. I
pointed out to her that these were basically the same
thing in our state, at least after a couple of years.
She said she knew, and that's when she surprised me
(18:37):
to something. She went to her purse and retrieved an
envelope and handed it to me. I was expecting it
to be another letter, but it was not. It was
a pre nuptial agreement prenup and he ate seeing the biz. No,
you ain't to jump. I asked her when she had
this drawn up, and she said shortly after we separated.
She had intended to plead her case with it at
(18:58):
the time, but thought better of it once she came
to understand my position on where things had landed in
our relationship. I felt like I needed to listen to
what you were telling me instead of trying to change
your mind. She said, that's pretty solid. That's that's a bar,
right there? Is that not a bar? That's kind of
a bar. If I heard that I would be like, damn,
I would. I would fall harder for the person that
(19:20):
said that to me, like the slip and fall, like
the slipping fall. Yeah, exactly. Boink boink.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
That's what they say. It's what cheaters use. But oh yeah, instead.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Of oh I slipped the bell, but this time, it's
like I'm slipping and falling on purpose.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yeah, instead of a heart on it's my heart on
the floor.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
I'm slipping and falling on my heart.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Oh god.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
That was a bit eye opening to me because I
thought evidently and correctly that she was much more resentful
about the marriage being called off. She said she was
more hurt than resentful, and if she was angry, it
was at herself for being stupid. Still, she had held
onto the agreement, probably because she was hoping that the
opportunity ever came up, it might prove how serious she
was taking what she had done. I asked her, if
(20:06):
I had asked you to marry me, who do you
have shown this to me? She said absolutely. I need
you to have complete trust in me. I don't want
to let you or me down. Again. I'm pretty good
at reading people, and this felt like an honest statement
as I've ever heard from someone. I read the agreement
and yes, I checked the date on her signature. Her
story checked out. Seemed pretty sensible to me, and there
(20:26):
was even an infidelity clause in it where it was
spelled out exactly what was considered infidelity. It was pretty
eye opening to me. Sarah Eventley considers a lot of
behavior that I might have given a pass on much
more serious. I mentioned that to her and she said
we could revise it later after a good discussion, but
the main points were pretty solid, and I agreed.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
It mentioned infidelity, but didn't mention helping someone else with infidelity.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Hmmm, maybe that counts because that's.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
The problem here.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
That's that's what she did, so.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
You know, heye, we'll see. Anyway, We put the agreement
aside for now and talked a little bit more about
where we go from here. Short and long of it,
I asked her to move back in with me. Question
two with the chat question of John and Riley, is
that a good idea to move in right now?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
We don't know the exact number of months that has passed.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
But they went on a trip together.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Yeah, maybe it's not a good idea. I feel like
they can progress in like every other thing except for
moving in. I feel like, like, like he said, it's like, oh,
it's a bit overdue. They did take a while for
op to just kind of like sit with the stought
they were they were again, like he said, like mutually exclusively,
patonic or whatever. They weren't seeing other people, they weren't
(21:40):
doing you know, hooking up with each other or anything.
But I would pursue everything else in a relationship minus
moving in together.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Yeah, I feel like they've been doing a lot of
deep talks. He I think he's just scarred of relationships
seeing what happened to Evelyn and her husband, So that's
why he's hurt. But I'm down for the movie together.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I think we need a little bit more time. I mean,
how long has it been a year.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I don't even know if it's been a year.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I feel like I think maybe at the year mark
year mark, but I feel like it just feels a
little fast.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
But if you love someone, love them well.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I think she was stunned by this because she immediately
broke down crying. Sarah's a messy cryer even when she's happy,
and my t shirt suffered for it. She still has
a few months left on her lease, so she's going
to write it out until that's over, and then it
will move back into her house. She said that when
she moves in, she should sign some sort of rental
agreement with me. I told her that I thought that
was a bit over the top and months away, so
let's just park that for right now. I won't say
(22:36):
that it felt like we closed one chapter and start another,
because it's not quite like that. We've been going through
a long process of sorting out our feelings, talking to
each other, and on my part, really observing her actions.
In fact, one of the things that was kind of
a downer at the time is that Sarah said to me,
this is the best thing that's happened to me a
long time. And I have like almost no one I
can talk to about it. You see, it's not just
(22:57):
Evelyn that she's not talking to, but she's still not
talking to her parents. Her father has made some overtures
to stay in contact, but her and her mother are
basically treating each other like they passed away. Wow. I
have some pretty complicated feelings about this. On one hand,
I think her family has been a big problem for her,
and even if she's working through it with a therapist.
Neither of us think she's prepared to deal with them yet.
(23:18):
But on the other hand, I do wish that things
didn't have to be like this for her. After all,
my family and hers seem like almost opposites, and I
guess I just wish she had been born into a
family like mine instead. There's a lot of really good
parts of family life and having good siblings and parents
that Sarah has never really experienced, and this makes me
sad for her. But if there's a bright spot, it's
that my family never stopped caring about her. Even my parents,
(23:41):
I think, have been silently rooting for us to figure
things out. By the way, if you want to figure
out how to put more of us in your ear
holes when you're working out, when you're cooking, when you're reading,
when you're at work, or whatever whatever you're doing, you
could listen to us by searching Okay Storytime on Apple podcast, Spotify,
ever you get your podcasts, So put this in your
ear holes. Twenty four to seven. But we got a
(24:03):
little bit more of an update, and I'm going to
jump right into it. So that's where we are today.
We're still working things out what probably feels like a
glacial pace for readers here and Reddit, but that's just
how life works sometimes. Overall, I would have to say
that despite appearances, our relationship is much stronger now than
it was before I called off the marriage. We both
have a much deeper understanding of each other, and frankly,
Sarah has really demonstrated a lot of emotional growth in
(24:25):
the last year. Jesus, it's been a year, an entire year,
so it has been a year. It's surreal to me
how much time is flown by, but I'm glad to
put most of it in the rear view mirror. Like
I said, I don't think we turned a corner. It's
been more gradual than that. But I definitely do feel like,
after some soul searching, that we are back on track.
PS for anyone who cares, I plan on finishing the
(24:45):
Pagoda this year. There's still enough time to get it
done before summer is over, and I'd like to have
at least a few fireside nights outside with my ex
fiance and current girlfriend. And that is where this story ends.
But we do got all another story for you before
this episode ends. No more updates are updates.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
On this story reached the bottom of the barrel.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Whoa, hey, it kind of ended good, you know, kind
of ended good. Foods here, oh sick? Oh maybe a
little little food break, a little food bro. We also
put the air on too.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
You guys want to eat chat? Do you want to
eat with us?
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Yeah, lunch break, it's a new segment.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Yeah, yeah, lunch break. Oh let's talk any tea. I
don't think my parents are on here. I could I
gave I gave John a bunch of like family drama
that was happening when I went back home.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Oh tee, yeah, I could talk about some of it, dude,
whatever you got.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Number one, my great grandpa who's like ninety one wants
to divorce his wife who's like eighty six.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Wow, why well, so, like, what what wife is? This
is this first wife?
Speaker 3 (25:53):
Uh? No, first wife died. This is his part time wife.
Part time meaning she only comes on the weekends whenever
COVID happened. He kind of called her and gave her
like a kind of a mean like don't be coming
around here with that, like, don't get me sick, And
it was I don't know, she kind of took hard.
I would say, and hasn't really been hanging out with
(26:15):
my grand grandpa since then.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
His name's George, and I think they bang.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
They did, that's when they got married. Now heck, you know, man,
this man, wait, how long have they got married Whenever
my mom was little her five, my mom's forty seven,
five years later, probably like thirty years ish, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
But he just gives her time for a weekend wife.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Well, she lives in like another like an hour away,
and she has her own business, but she only gets
takes money from them in away. Well, they don't really talk.
She kind of like visits for a little bit then leaves,
and he always gets like kind of pissy about it.
But over Christmas she came and I saw her and
I was like, hey, life's great. Yea, she's loving it
(27:02):
and she's talking to everybody everybody there, but does not
talk to George, and then leaves and does not talk
to George. And George gives her like like a present.
He gives everybody in the family present. He also gave
Andreie a present, which has never has only happened to
one other girlfriend. But they didn't get as much as
she did, I know.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
So Andre's getting a special treatment.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Then special treatment and the good like one of the
girlfriends that treated me right back in the way, got
it not the latest ex but uh he she basically
got the money and left and didn't say bye to George,
And George was like, kind of like what, like she
didn't say bye to me. Mom was like, well, you
could take away the good things out of this day
and like kind of forget about like the bad things. Yeah,
(27:44):
that has been interesting. But he only wants to divorce
her so he can like clean out one of his rooms.
And I'm like, dude, you can just go ahead and
clean out one of your rooms in your house.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
You don't have to wait and divorce a room for her.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Yeah, it's like her bedroom where she like keeps her
stuff and everything. But I'm like, what do you one?
You're ninety one, what are you gonna do in there?
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Dude? Games could get pinball machines.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Dude, he could be he could start live streaming, he
could have his own chat man.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
He going hinge.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
Honestly, being being insanely old is low key like a
content hack. You just do something like that. Young people
do that, they would not expect an old person to
do and you're there. H a secret admire ninety seven
donated five dollars. Sam, you're looking online, but you got.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Me, baby. I can be your Mandy.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Oh man, Can I get a?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Can I get a?
Speaker 4 (28:37):
You might be Mandy right now? And he's about to
add the big and the wife next to it? Oh baby,
who's reading again?
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Does it mean we're finishing up this episode?
Speaker 2 (28:48):
We're finishing up the episode.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Hey, it's Sam, your og host. Here. We're gonna get
back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads
from our sponsors. My boyfriend prioritizes his friends who discriminate
me and my daughter. Oh boy, it's long story because
I need to give some context, so please bear with me.
I am twenty two, a white Puerto Rican female this
will be mentioned later, and my boyfriend is twenty five white.
Also sorry for this word vomit. I'm not great at
(29:12):
telling stories, so I hope this is understandable. Sorry if
I get sidetracked things in advance for the help. By
the way, this comes from Manic Pixie xxx on the
r slash Okay Storytime sub wrote it. So I often
visit my boyfriend and my three year old daughter even
has a room in his house. However, we live next
door to his friends. And while it is fantastic to
live with friends when they are responsible and reasonable, helpful friends,
(29:34):
my situation is the opposite. Oh dear, they are usually
nice when they are by themselves. These are twenty six
and twenty eight white males. Sorry to mention race, but
it'll come into play later. They typically have a revolving
door of tinder girls and dates coming over. So I
meet some who are ninety nine percent of the time white.
While I have pale skin, my naturally big and curly hair,
as well as mixed race black white and Puerto Rican daughter,
(29:57):
we stick out like a sore thumb. Still, my way
of talking is more on the Hispanic or a guest
urban side. I guess I grew up with my mom
whose first language was Spanish and a family who didn't
speak English well without a heavy accent. So anyway, I
meet new people, and in my attempt to make them
feel more comfortable with me, I try to do a
white girl voice. As terrible as that sounds. I am
(30:19):
the type of person who sits back and watches before
I interact. I see them joking about a brown band aid,
saying why they would buy the black people band aid,
and one of the girls laughs and says it is brown,
not black. Sea Haha, this will have meaning later, laughing
at her boyfriend twenty eight male, we're gonna do some
icy territory here we are. I'm two twisted teas in
(30:40):
at this point. I don't often drink, so I'm feeling
tipsy and start my valley girl voice because I unfortunately
did feel uncomfortable around them, to which they responded by
speaking in a valley girl voice back to mock me
whenever I was around, to which I ignored. So op
speaking in a valley girl voice to be just kind
of inclusive but like the other people. But the other
(31:03):
people like know she's putting on a voice, so they're
making fun of her.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
She like she's code switching.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
She's trying to like fit in, like fit in essentially,
but it's like fitting in too much. Yeah, quote unquote,
and now they're like catching on to what she's doing
and mocking her with it.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Well, my daughter is playing with her friend. We are
all still playing UNO, and they conveniently forget to deal
me in claiming they did, and I stuck it back
under the stack, which I didn't it was very far
away from it, and my boyfriend said, no, she never
got one, but it's okay, she can play with me.
I get a call from my sister and start talking
still in a valley girl's voice, which the girls eat up.
But I am a very anxious person and was wasted
(31:41):
and honestly would have rather been made fun of for
talking like them versus my authentic voice and way of speaking.
My sister immediately knew something was wrong and asked why
I spoke like that. Me and my boyfriend are significantly
better looking than his friends and the girls they bring,
so there's sometimes a bit of issues with the tender
girls favoring to look at my boyfriend, which I ignore
because I'm confident into myself and I'm building a life
(32:01):
for myself that will surpassed what they could all ever do.
And I'm an honor role university student. Yeah. I mean
these sound like really whack people, And I'm like, is
your boyfriend not a little whack if he's friends with
all these whack people?
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Yeah? So are they the tinder dates of his friends?
Speaker 1 (32:16):
I think the tender dates of his friends. Okay, that's
where it sounds like, but like, I mean, why would
you hang out with these people? Well, we've all had
one bad tinder date. Yeah, but I don't know. It
feels a little whacky. But anyway, back to my sister.
I told her, and she said, I'm very disappointed you
around people that make you feel uncomfortable and that your
(32:39):
boyfriend continues to put you in a place like that. Sam,
this makes my anxiety worse. So I decide to go
for a walk and my boyfriend's friend's parents are watching
my daughter and our friend. Before I left from my walk,
I opened my notes app and told my boyfriend I
was very anxious. Can we go back home together and relax?
He said no, So I understood he wanted to be
with his friends. Ming Wing says, what is a value voice?
(33:00):
It's like and so I texted him and let him
know I was going on a walk and asked if
you could keep an eye out for my daughter like that?
Like that? So I texted him to let him know
I was going on a walk and asked him if
he could keep an eye out for my daughter, who
at this point she thinks is her father.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Wait, that's a big detail.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
That's a huge detail.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
And I guess the daughter is there with them all.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Yeah, dude, there's a baby in the midst that's a
huge detail. Baby, and that was just completely overlooked.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
I've been with him for over two years, so that's
most of her life. She's already being watched. But I
wanted to kerm she would looked at by him uh
Op's boyfriend, to which he responded by saying, when you're back,
we can call my daughter Nina back, which led me
to believe she was missing, only two blocks away and
hauling a to get back.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
So she's saying, like, oh, can you watch my daughter?
Speaker 4 (33:57):
And he's like, oh yeah, like, we'll call her back
when you get back.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
And she's like, well, why do you got to call it?
Where's there right now? Like why you gotta call her?
Speaker 1 (34:06):
I called him while I was on the way, and
he said I should call my friends and hung up,
which made me even more concerned, But he didn't care.
He was upset that I didn't want to hang out
with his friends. All he would have had to do
was open the door five steps away from where he
was sitting to see my daughter, but he didn't. I
come back, literally in a full blown panic attack because
she doesn't know where her daughter is, like if her
daughter's being taken care of. My daughter's fine, right where
(34:28):
I left her. I get her and she goes to
her room to watch her iPad while I start to
cry downstairs, not understanding why my boyfriend wouldn't give me
confirmation that my daughter's okay. Okay, so really quick to
go back, so op, he's feeling anxious yep, and she's like, hey,
can we leave? And the boyfriend's like I want to leave.
He's like, okay, I'm just gonna leave for a little bit,
like go down the street. Can you watch my daughter?
(34:51):
Boyfriend's like okay. And then later OPI asked, hey is
my daughter? Then he's like I don't know. And all
you had to do was like walk five steps to
see if she was act actually in the next room,
but he wouldn't do that. Yeah, and now she's having
like a panic attack.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
What a stupid thing to say.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Yeah, that's stupid, bro. My daughter is fine, right where
I left her. I get her and she goes to
a room to watch her iPad while I start to
cry downstairs, not understanding why my boyfriend wouldn't give me
confirmation that my daughter was okay. He told me it
was my fault because I should have confirmed with him
in person before I left, and it wasn't his responsibility
to check on her for me. This completely shocked me.
(35:27):
He'd been so good to us and never acted like
my daughter was a burden. He helps me in almost
every way with her. So am I the eye hole
thinking that he should have checked on my daughter for
me really quick? I think you shoul dump the boyfriend.
But also I don't know if putting father responsibility on
him is a good idea. One one, yeah, one because
(35:50):
there's like they're young, but also two, h for a
bunch of reasons. They're young. Two, he's like your boyfriend
and maybe he isn't ready for that responsibility. And three
he seems like he sucks at given being given that responsibility.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
Yeah, it's it's like she was kind of she was
basically assuming that he was taking that role.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:10):
Now, I think in this specific microcosm, didn't didn't she
say before she left, Hey, I'm just gonna go.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
You don't want to leave, okay, cool, I'm gonna go
for a walk. Just watch her. Yeah, right, So the
fact that she said I'm going for a walk. Just
watch her. That's the time. If he said no, I don't.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Feel like doing it, yeah he should have said it.
Then yeah, but he agreed to it.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
He agreed to it.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
And then it's like, okay, if someone says watch this child.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
Regardless of you're a father figure or not, you just
do that.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
Yeah. He's like, bro, you're trying to make a fight.
It's like, I just want you to watch it for
ten minutes while I took a walk.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
So there's there's yeah, things going on both sides, but
it's like, bro, you should have just watched the child
and don't be a freaking Idy'd be like, whoa.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Out of the worst shoes.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Maybe she ran away.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
I'll go find her when you're back.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Yeah, I think I think, Uh, I think, don't I
feel like this might be you know, and and the
relationship territory.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
I think I think we're accidentally stumbling upon all of
the misalignment.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Yeah and leave it.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Hey, it's John ere og host here. We're gonna get
back to the stories. But here's a quick three minute
break of ass from our sponsors.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
So am I able for thinking he should have checked
on my daughter? For me? The parents that were watching
my daughter, after seeing how Distrada was, offered to give
me their number, but I just said that's okay, thanks
and took my kid inside, wanting her to be safe
with me. But I want to clarify she was never
in danger. I was just scared as a loving mother, okay,
I believe. So. She was already being watched by some
other parents and OPI just wanted the boyfriend to check
(37:39):
and it was like, you know a few it's like
five steps away basically.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
And he's like like this, I'll go find her when
you're back.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah, like or like I'm not gonna leave. He told
me it was my fault. I should have confirmed with
him in person before I left, and it wasn't my
response and it wasn't his responsibility to check on her
for me. This completely shocked me because he's been so
good to us and never acted like my daughter was
a burden. He helps me in almost every way with her,
So I might ask, am I the a hole for
thinking he should have checked on my daughter for me?
(38:06):
The parents that were watching my daughter, after seeing how
distraught I was, offer to give me their number, but
I just said that's okay. Thanks, and took my kid inside,
wanting her to be safe with me. But I would
like to clarify she was never in danger. I was
just scared. As a loving mother, my daughter is everything
to me. I would have brought her on the walk
with me, but it was dark, so I didn't want
I didn't feel that that was safe. I didn't plan
on going far anyway. My boyfriend storms out, adamant it
(38:29):
was my fault. He returns five minutes later, putting on
his shoes and saying he will go to the bar.
Mind you, I'm still hysterical crying over the scare with
my daughter. I start to have a full blown panic attack,
crying and I can't breathe. He stays to comfort me
and make sure I'm okay. He doesn't end up going
to the bar and tells me I guilted him into
staying still. He was telling me over and over it
was my fault and if something did happen to her,
(38:50):
it would be my fault she which is what set
me off because he was right. I just assume he
would have checked on her since he always has. And
also going to the bar with these people after an
argument sounded weird to me considering I'm not allowed to
go to bars because he says I'm too pretty. It
will be hit on, and then the next.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
Sentence and then the next sentence is a classic like oh,
he's so perfect, but but.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
He's almost a perfect boyfriend. I'm young, so that social
media would bother me. Lol. He does not follow any
girls but me, and we are barely on social media,
which I love and it's hard to find these days.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Okay, just because he's trying to isolate you doesn't mean
he hasn't already isolated himself.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Still, I don't want to he hated, and tell him
to go. He doesn't. Oh God, really just pulled out
his own mic. He was serious, guys, he says, and
tells me how he loves my daughter and me and
he would always want to protect us, which then why
couldn't you look out the door? Still, he told me
I needed to be nicer around his friends. I told
him I didn't feel comfortable as the only Hispanic in
(39:50):
a group of the whitest of the white, and I
was wrong for saying that. And he took some air saying,
don't play the race card because I'm paler than him.
He indeed he loves the sun, but they asked me
what a Jamaican song was saying, I guess they thought
it was Spanish. One of the friends said, don't be
racist in response to that to another friend. So it's
hard not to think it's about me being hispanic at
(40:12):
least a bit. And I'm sure that's not their issue
with me, and that they are just insensitive and want
to bother me. But then he starts to tell me
ways that he stands up for us, like when his
friends and their girlfriend started saying the little black girl
randomly as a joke. He told them to stop and
that she's mixed and it's irrelevant and she shouldn't have
been brought up. I was not there to hear that,
(40:35):
and neither was my daughter, which is where the brown
band aid joke came about my boyfriend saying my daughter
wasn't black, she was mixed. These are his lifelong friends,
so he made it clear I can't be mad at
him for hanging out with them, but he is moving.
So am I the ahole for expecting him to check
out my daughter? And should I even be with him anymore?
I don't think my boyfriend is racist in any way. However,
my friends told me I should still be concerned with
(40:57):
his friend's comfort in talking about my daughter like that
after years of dating. He said, they must have been
trying to look tough for their tendi dates since my
boyfriend is much bigger than them and they were all drinking.
And I am a very pale Puerto Rican. They call
me la ringa, So I don't worry too much about
things like that, but now I feel like I have
to for my daughter. So it's a good mom should
(41:17):
I leave him. I love him very much and don't
want that to happen. We got so close so fast,
but I need to think that my daughter is first. Also,
when you stay with a man with friends like that,
I probably wouldn't, but I would always stay with us.
Listening on our podcast, okay, storytime. You can search it
up anyway where we get podcasts and that way you
can listen when you're doing anything. But on this story, yeah,
(41:41):
I mean, he sounds like a poopy bag.
Speaker 4 (41:42):
He has so many, so many layers of reasons of
why you should leave you should leave him, and like
so many reasons.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Yeah, so many reasons, so many reasons. I think you
should leave him. But let's see what Opie says. I
want to take my daughter around him again, since she
was referred to as little black girl as an insult.
I also think it is weird that her being black
would be a bad thing. My daughter is not dark
skin either, so the whole situation feels so weird to
me that I would even have to think about these
things even if she was dark skinned. I don't see
(42:13):
the issue or why sane people would ever bring it
up as a joke. My boyfriend didn't tell me to
the extent or with much context on context, and I
didn't ask. It wasn't enjoyable to me. Thanks for reading.
If you made it this far, I would love the
help also throughout this mark. I'm a big fan and
love your podcast. I would love to hear your opinion
since I enjoy your honesty and fair judgment.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Oh we got a fan.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
We got a fan, dude, we love that leave leave
he doesn't he doesn't sound like a good guy. Yeah,
he does not sound like a good guy. I need
to do what's best for you and your daughter.
Speaker 4 (42:44):
He's so controlling and you know, just again a million reasons,
but him trying to be like, Oh why I do
all of this and that, and I think, I think truly. Also,
it's like a lesson in trying to find alignment. Know,
is he a criminal for not wanting to be a
dad yet? No, But that's something that like you got
(43:08):
to figure out and like work out, like, Okay, yeah,
is he really you know, if he keeps going down
the road two years in, well eventually one would presume
he would be a dad. So it's like, okay, figuring
out if he is actually once and.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Is ready for that?
Speaker 1 (43:21):
Yeah, And also like think about your daughter, Like is
this guy and his friends a good influence on your daughter?
So like I really don't think so, but I would
love to know what y'all think. Put your answers in
the commons, blow let us know. But that is where
this story and this episode ends.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
It was a doozy.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
It's quite a douzy.
Speaker 1 (43:43):
Yeah, So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
We love you and Sorrow
Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og
Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories
coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute
break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.
I just found out my fiance is a liar, but
I'm supposed to marry her in two weeks.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Part five. WHOA all right?
Speaker 1 (00:15):
This is a story that we've been going down the
last couple of days. It is insane and it's about
to get more insane. Or we got some some tldrs
for if you just are hopping into this. So, hi everyone,
It's been a while since I logged into red on
this account only to see a couple one hundred messages
begging me for an update. So I figured I wouldt
(00:35):
least sort a few things out that are commonly being asked,
by the way. This comes from one top three nine
three four on the r slash Okay story Time subreddit.
So so tldr for everyone who's just joining. So Op
called off his wedding after finding out Sarah his fiance
was helping her sister Evelyn hide an affair. Drama Level
is teleing novella. We are we are going deep. Things
(00:57):
escalated when Evelyn attacked op got arrested, and later tried
to frame her soon to be ex Marty for child abuse.
All right, so Evelyn's a piece of poop. Sarah flip side,
spilled all the family tea and helped Marty win custody,
but OPI is still on a wait and see terms
with her. Now, OPI's questioning trust, love and why his
life feels like a Reddit soap opera. Oh yeah does yeah?
(01:21):
And like really importantly, Sarah has been flipping side? But
was There was all this family drama about how Evelyn
had always been like, in her eyes, someone that she
couldn't upset, and so she's finally getting over her people
pleasing tendencies. But op is like, wait, is she still
trying to people please me? Is this relationship real? Am
I just seeing this like mirror image version of her?
(01:43):
But I think we're going to see if op is
going to stay with this person. Oh all right, there
we go. So, first off, Marty and Evelyn are divorced.
Took a bit over a year and a half for
it to be finalized, but despite Evelyn's high jinks installing,
that seems to be about typical for where we live.
The only notable things about the divorce itself is that
Marty was granted primary physical custody of their daughter, which
(02:05):
was seen as a bit of a coup considering how
these things usually go. But to be fair, Evelyn mostly
did that to herself. Yeah, by lying about the abuse. Definitely,
Marty's lawyer was able to make a huge stink about
her false charges in the court, as well as the
psychologist reports that were combined with the fact that Marty
already had custody, and also the psychologist reports were from
(02:25):
their child basically saying that they had seen Evelyn and
her affair partner doing the spicy sleep yep which you
know you don't should you shouldn't expose your children to.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Don't do that.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Him and his daughter had been living with his parents
since he filed. The judge seemed to think that it
was appropriate to basically just leave things how they were.
It's true what they say, guys, possession is nine tenths
of the law. I what does that mean? Can you
guys tell us what that means? Possession? I don't know.
I've never heard that that. I mean, that's insane.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Like so, if you like, I am accusing you of something.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
If you have, you know, the weapon that did it,
then that's basically all you need, even if we don't
get the full story.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
A legal expression that means a person with physical possessions
of something has a stronger legal claim to it than
anyone else. It can be used in reference to property
law or criminal cases.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Ah okay, so it's almost like a squatter, Like all
right if you're.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Oh, because the kid kind of had already been with Marty. Yeah,
so that's the kid should be able to continue to
staying with Marty. Keep that in mind if you ever
get divorced yourselves. The financial fallout didn't seem to be
that big of a deal. The house was sold, Marty
got a slightly bigger share of it than Evelyn did
in lieu of maintenance slash alimony. And that was that.
(03:42):
I actually had dinner with Marty at a little bar
and grill close to where I work one night, and
he thanked me again for my help and had a
lot of nice things to say about Sarah Whish. I appreciate. Wow,
Sarah OPI's fiance or was fiance now now just maybe
girlfriend is complicated. She's really been coming through as an
aunt for his little girl and spending time with her
pretty frequently. I didn't point out to him that this
(04:03):
is because there's no way she'd get to see her
when it was Evelyn's weekend, as the sisters are still
not talking. But I'm sure he can figure that out
on his own. One interesting, but I still think that
shows that she cares, even like I believe her, I
believe her. I think that shows that she cares. One
interesting thing that came out of that dinner is that
Marty told me that Evelyn wrote him a big letter
(04:26):
during the proceedings, begging him for another chance. And in
this letter she confessed a lot of things that even
Sarah was unaware of. Oh, so we're getting even more
tea like. Just to be clear, Evelyn not only cheated
on Marty but accused him of abuse to try to
get custody of their daughter.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Of their child, and then did weird things.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
And did weird weird things.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
What more can one person do?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Oh there's more. John turns out this wasn't Evelyn's first
adultery rodeo. Of course, She's been riding many horses. Oh,
she had cheated on Marty when they were dating, and
again shortly after they got married. Of course, Marty and
I were both stymied by that. Why would you marry
someone you were cheating on? Like, no offense to Marty here,
but he's not rich and he's not some super stud,
(05:12):
just a slightly quirky, normal looking high school teacher. If
Evelyn didn't like that, then she certainly didn't need to
marry him. Anyway. It blew my mind. I feel I
feel like Marty's getting dunked on unnecessarily getting dun he said.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
He said, uh, slightly quirky looking high school teacher, and
I went.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
To just just zumed it on me.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
I mean, tell me, you don't tell me you don't
teach history.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I could see you as my cool history teacher. I
could totally see you as my cool history teacher. Give
me like threekish look, does John look like a cool
history teach art teacher or something? Not a history teacher? Dude?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
History?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, h history teacher's cool, but it's not history history teacher.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Art, Like I teach you how to paint? Like, like,
who is it?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
What did he teach? Huh huh?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
People always say that's me.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Kind of both.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I literally have the same haircut.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
But John John with no b oh.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Yeah, young John, that's true. That's fun John. Back in
the day, people do call you that. If people call
me that all the time because.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
The hair, Yeah, it's so you for real, for real, And.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I did I used to have glasses just like that.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Yeah, we need to get you some some circle some like.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Really some really big ones too.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Yeah. See, princess, says our teacher.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
So boom, all right, all right. If Evelyn didn't like that,
then she certainly didn't need to marry him anyway. It
blew my mind. She went on to say that she
was seeing a therapist and working on herself and all
the usual stuff, but neither Marty nor I felt like
therapy would help her very much. I mean, it was
clear to me that Evelyn's cheating wasn't because of some
undiagnosed childhood trauma or self esteem issues. Given what she
(06:48):
tried to pull in court, it's way more likely that
she has a morality problem. And I don't think therapy
can fundamentally change the nature of someone that drastically. What
do we think about that? Do you think that's true?
Speaker 4 (06:59):
I mean I think that like and but this is
like you need you need the freaking the Cavalry, the
Michael Jordan, Lebron James of.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Therapy to get you this, to get to this.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
But I think I don't think it can hurt, you, know,
like I feel like you can get better. Yeah, I
think she can get better. Is she just like at
her core, an unchangeable just source of pure evil?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Maybe?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I don't know. I think uh, I think there's extreme
edge cases.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I don't think anyone is a irredeemably bad I think
we can all make improvements. That being said, do you
have to be there while someone's improving.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
No?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
And I don't think you should be anywhere close to
this woman, uh.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
For them to get back together?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
No? Please No. I share with Marty some of the
insights I had gotten from my conversations with Sarah about
her relationship and child with Evelyn, and we came to
the conclusion that fundamentally Evelyn is just a user. She
will basically do whatever she wants, use anyone how she wants,
and she will never consider how it impacts other people
(08:09):
because she feels she can just manipulate everyone into getting
off her back. Suffice it to say, Evelyn's letter didn't
have much of an impact on Marty, or rather, it
only firmed up his already solid resolve to divorce her.
Good Marty said that he felt that she was so
dishonest and manipulative that even her miacolpa confessions had an
air of manipulation about them, and I tend to agree.
(08:31):
I think it was a last ditch effort to try
and appear truthful to him, but too little, too late. Secondly,
during this dinner, Marty also told me that he had
finally contacted the wife of Jake, the affair partner, a
couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
WHOA, he's been waiting on that one. He's been making
him sweat.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I asked him why he waited so long, and he
said he just wanted to make sure that it didn't
impact his divorce with Evelyn in some way. I didn't
like that answer, but I could at least understand it.
He said that she was a nice lady who was
apparently incredibly shocked when he presented her with the evidence
of what Jake and Evelyn had been up to. Remember,
Marty had a video of them in his house. It
seems like missus Jake had absolutely no clue that anything
(09:16):
was going on. She was too busy dealing with their
small child, I think one or two years old. Marty
felt pretty bad about the whole thing, but he said
that if the situation was reversed, he would want to know. Yeah.
I think that's true. I could only nod in agreement
with him here. It seems like a difficult but necessary
thing for him to do. There's no update on if
that couple are getting divorced or not, but Marty said
(09:36):
he had the impression that she was going to try
and salvage something due to their small child. I did
ask him if he was interested in getting back at
the guy, but Marty just waved me off. He said
that anything he did to him would probably just make
it harder for his wife and kid, and he'd rather
just get on with his life. I think that feels true.
I can understand that. But I think Marty is a
better guy than I am, because if I was in
(09:58):
his shoes, I would I've really put the screws to
that guy. Well, I guess Jake has enough of his
own problems right now. Anyway. Lastly, I know people really
want an update about me and Sarah, so here it is,
because again, Opie was about to get married to Sarah,
and then it was put in its complicated territory, so
let's see what happens. We had a good trip in Queensland.
(10:20):
The weather was hot, but evidently pretty mild this last Christmas.
There were lots of beach days, lots of spending time
with my nieces. Sarah's an elementary school teacher and she's
fantastic with kids, and all in all, it was a
great time. I think Sarah and I both found it
really helpful to be away from home for a couple
of weeks. Being together in a different setting really helped
us focus on the here and now and not so
(10:41):
much on the wild trip we'd both been on. By
the time we left to come back to the States,
we were both in a very relaxed state of mind,
and a lot of problems that we had that seemed
very difficult to get past started to feel a lot smaller. Okay,
I feel like we're sailing into good territory here.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
We're getting there.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
That's not to say there aren't still sore spots for
both of us. Predict my newfound desire to never get
married has not been easy for Sarah to adjust to
and to be frank, the better our relationship got, the
more this became an issue. I had to explain to
her It's really not about us or just about us.
It was more about witnessing a bunch of bull crap
in a short period of time by a lotted from
(11:17):
people that just turn me off to it. In general,
the cheating, physical and emotional lies, the pain, all of
that just seems way too heavy for me now to contemplate.
She stowed on that for a few days, and then
one night while we were washing up from dinner, pausing
right here, do we think she is going to break
up with Opie or stay together with Opie?
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (11:37):
I feel from everything I know, just making a total guess.
Sarah is the type that's like, I want to get married,
I want to have the wedding, I want to do
all this. I do think, I mean, Opie said like
it became a problem because they were basically becoming serious
about their relationship again, and she's.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Like, well, I want to get married.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
You know.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
At this point, all that being said, I don't think
like Schole she would break up with him.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
I think so pull one or two.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
I think she I think she cares about marriage a lot. Yeah,
and if she believes that Op never wants to get married,
I think she might not want to see in that relationship.
And we got three votes to break up. John's saying, Nah,
I'm hanging in with Naman ash m r. All break up.
We got seventy one, oh change.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
That's going back and forth all over the place.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I think she's had time to reflect on herself and
stop the people pleasing. She's finally found out what she wants.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
And she wants to get married.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
That would be kind of a cool character arc for her,
but I think it's not all right.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Let's see. She stud on that for a few days,
and then one night, while we were watching up from dinner,
she asked me if I still intended to have children
someday or not. It was a fair question, one that
I hadn't really been asking myself. You see, one of
the things I had been working and looking forward to
was starting a family with Sarah. I mean the sincerely,
she would be amazing mom. She works with kids every day,
so you would think it would put her off, but
(13:00):
rather you can tell it's basically her calling. Just the
way she is with my nieces is freaking adorable, So
probably having kids is like something she needs in a relationship. Anyway,
I realized that while I may have emotionally given up
a marriage, I hadn't given up on having a family.
What's the difference, hear me out really quick to me,
(13:21):
Let's say you have a kid and all this stuff happens.
It's just as it's just as heartbreaking as having a marriage.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
But the legal but don't have to go.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
But I feel like the legal wasn't like the most
toxic part of this whole process. It was like the
ripping a part of like this family union.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
She did accuse him of what she accused him.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Of, Yeah, but she accused him because they had a kid,
not because not because of And so like all this
could still happen if you don't have a marriage. Pinky
Slayer says, Yeah, you don't need to be married to
have a family exactly. And the family was what was
broken up. Yeah, and that's what was so hard. And
so I'm like, if you're not emotionally ready for a marriage,
how are you emotionally ready for a kid?
Speaker 4 (14:05):
Well, I maybe his thought process here is like, hey,
like I do want kids, but knowing how bad it
can go, I want to mitigate. You know, it can
go bad, like if you have a kid, you are
going to court to decide customer right. But I think
my guess is he's like, let me just mitigate how
much that would be? And it's like, yeah, I really
(14:25):
really do want kids, I really really maybe even do
want a relationship with with someone a life partner, but
I don't want the headaches that come with being legally married. Yeah,
you're right, it's very similar.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
It is very similar.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
But I think he's basically like, Hey, I want a
life partner and a kid, but how do I make
it as less bad as possible?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Emmy says, legally he is more protected.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
Not getting married may allow them to remain separate in
finances and set expectations.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Yeah, I do. I do think it minimizes things. But
I think I feel like, I guess your point. Yeah,
what I'm saying is like, if you're not emotionally marriage,
if you're not like emotionally ready for like the finality
of marriage, the finality of having a kid ties two
people together too, Like that's also I think as an
emotional burden, if not more of an emotional burden.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
The marriage baby solf problems.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
That is true, but I didn't forgot baby solve problems anyway,
Opie says, I know that sounds odd, but you can
tell that I hadn't thought this through all the way.
Sarah's question basically made me think much more long term
than I had been willing to do previously, and I
struggled to come up with a good answer at the time.
I was pretty open to Sarah about what I was
feeling at the time, and she seemed like she understood.
She said, I want a family too, but if you
(15:40):
don't want one, I'd still want to be with you.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I was not expecting that.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
There was some respect on my nerves.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
John, God, Wow.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
John, you have twenty three.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
That's okay. I still love you. I still love you four.
I was boom. Almost changed my mind.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Oh oh yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
It's the peer pressure too.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
You you you stood fast.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I stood on this visited business down.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
It was nice to hear, but I'm not sure that
I would be happy if that's the case. Like I said,
Sarah would be an amazing mom, and it feels like
bull crap on my part if being with me denies
her that opportunity. We went back and forth on this
a little bit, with me trying to convince her she
was giving up too much and her holding fast to
what she said and not backing down. We basically ended
the discussion with an agreement on both sides to think
(16:29):
about it more and come back and talk about it later.
So that's what I did. I know some people don't
want to have kids, but deep down inside I knew
that I did. More than that. I wanted a family,
something approximating the family I grew up in as a kid,
and to me, that means a mother and a father
together with their children, all in the same house. At
this point, the point of me being married or not
(16:51):
becomes essentially moot, because if you split, there's still child's
important custody, and you'll likely be a de factove spouse anyway.
So splitting communal property and all that jazz, it's like
the old saying six of one, half a dozen of another.
What does that mean? I've got I don't know these sayings.
Of course, six of one, half a dozen of another,
you get six and one.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
But then I think it's like tomato tomato.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Yeah, yeah, you can call it whatever you want, but
effectively it's a marriage just with a certificate or not.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Idiom used to say that one does not see any
difference between the two possible choices.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah, six of one, like because like you can either
have six one or half a dozen, and half a
dozen is six to two, so it's like.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
The same thing got them.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Once I had accepted that, I asked myself if I
would get into this kind of child rearing slash common
law slash marriage type situation with any other women other
than Sarah, Like, would it be easier for me to
commit to that if it was a different woman. The
more I thought about it, the less I felt that
this was true. I love Sarah that had never been
in doubt. My trust in her have been damaged pretty seriously.
(17:52):
But if we had more time and hadn't had a
wedding looming over our heads, we might have been able
to make it work. I felt pretty strongly that the
time constraint had played a bit a big part in
me pulling the pin on the impending nuptials. Now before
anyone gets their hopes up, Sarah and I didn't rush
out and get married. We did, however, sit down again
(18:14):
and have a more serious talk about our future. One
that was frankly way overdue. I acknowledged that I still
wanted to have a family in the future. She said
that if we did have children together, she would prefer
to be married or at least cohabiting or cohabitating. I
pointed out to her that these were basically the same
thing in our state, at least after a couple of years.
She said she knew, and that's when she surprised me
(18:37):
to something. She went to her purse and retrieved an
envelope and handed it to me. I was expecting it
to be another letter, but it was not. It was
a pre nuptial agreement prenup and he ate seeing the biz. No,
you ain't to jump. I asked her when she had
this drawn up, and she said shortly after we separated.
She had intended to plead her case with it at
(18:58):
the time, but thought better of it once she came
to understand my position on where things had landed in
our relationship. I felt like I needed to listen to
what you were telling me instead of trying to change
your mind. She said, that's pretty solid. That's that's a bar,
right there? Is that not a bar? That's kind of
a bar. If I heard that I would be like, damn,
I would. I would fall harder for the person that
(19:20):
said that to me, like the slip and fall, like
the slipping fall. Yeah, exactly. Boink boink.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
That's what they say. It's what cheaters use. But oh yeah, instead.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Of oh I slipped the bell, but this time, it's
like I'm slipping and falling on purpose.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yeah, instead of a heart on it's my heart on
the floor.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
I'm slipping and falling on my heart.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Oh god.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
That was a bit eye opening to me because I
thought evidently and correctly that she was much more resentful
about the marriage being called off. She said she was
more hurt than resentful, and if she was angry, it
was at herself for being stupid. Still, she had held
onto the agreement, probably because she was hoping that the
opportunity ever came up, it might prove how serious she
was taking what she had done. I asked her, if
(20:06):
I had asked you to marry me, who do you
have shown this to me? She said absolutely. I need
you to have complete trust in me. I don't want
to let you or me down. Again. I'm pretty good
at reading people, and this felt like an honest statement
as I've ever heard from someone. I read the agreement
and yes, I checked the date on her signature. Her
story checked out. Seemed pretty sensible to me, and there
(20:26):
was even an infidelity clause in it where it was
spelled out exactly what was considered infidelity. It was pretty
eye opening to me. Sarah Eventley considers a lot of
behavior that I might have given a pass on much
more serious. I mentioned that to her and she said
we could revise it later after a good discussion, but
the main points were pretty solid, and I agreed.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
It mentioned infidelity, but didn't mention helping someone else with infidelity.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Hmmm, maybe that counts because that's.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
The problem here.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
That's that's what she did, so.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
You know, heye, we'll see. Anyway, We put the agreement
aside for now and talked a little bit more about
where we go from here. Short and long of it,
I asked her to move back in with me. Question
two with the chat question of John and Riley, is
that a good idea to move in right now?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
We don't know the exact number of months that has passed.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
But they went on a trip together.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Yeah, maybe it's not a good idea. I feel like
they can progress in like every other thing except for
moving in. I feel like, like, like he said, it's like, oh,
it's a bit overdue. They did take a while for
op to just kind of like sit with the stought
they were they were again, like he said, like mutually exclusively,
patonic or whatever. They weren't seeing other people, they weren't
(21:40):
doing you know, hooking up with each other or anything.
But I would pursue everything else in a relationship minus
moving in together.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Yeah, I feel like they've been doing a lot of
deep talks. He I think he's just scarred of relationships
seeing what happened to Evelyn and her husband, So that's
why he's hurt. But I'm down for the movie together.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I think we need a little bit more time. I mean,
how long has it been a year.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I don't even know if it's been a year.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I feel like I think maybe at the year mark
year mark, but I feel like it just feels a
little fast.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
But if you love someone, love them well.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I think she was stunned by this because she immediately
broke down crying. Sarah's a messy cryer even when she's happy,
and my t shirt suffered for it. She still has
a few months left on her lease, so she's going
to write it out until that's over, and then it
will move back into her house. She said that when
she moves in, she should sign some sort of rental
agreement with me. I told her that I thought that
was a bit over the top and months away, so
let's just park that for right now. I won't say
(22:36):
that it felt like we closed one chapter and start another,
because it's not quite like that. We've been going through
a long process of sorting out our feelings, talking to
each other, and on my part, really observing her actions.
In fact, one of the things that was kind of
a downer at the time is that Sarah said to me,
this is the best thing that's happened to me a
long time. And I have like almost no one I
can talk to about it. You see, it's not just
(22:57):
Evelyn that she's not talking to, but she's still not
talking to her parents. Her father has made some overtures
to stay in contact, but her and her mother are
basically treating each other like they passed away. Wow. I
have some pretty complicated feelings about this. On one hand,
I think her family has been a big problem for her,
and even if she's working through it with a therapist.
Neither of us think she's prepared to deal with them yet.
(23:18):
But on the other hand, I do wish that things
didn't have to be like this for her. After all,
my family and hers seem like almost opposites, and I
guess I just wish she had been born into a
family like mine instead. There's a lot of really good
parts of family life and having good siblings and parents
that Sarah has never really experienced, and this makes me
sad for her. But if there's a bright spot, it's
that my family never stopped caring about her. Even my parents,
(23:41):
I think, have been silently rooting for us to figure
things out. By the way, if you want to figure
out how to put more of us in your ear
holes when you're working out, when you're cooking, when you're reading,
when you're at work, or whatever whatever you're doing, you
could listen to us by searching Okay Storytime on Apple podcast, Spotify,
ever you get your podcasts, So put this in your
ear holes. Twenty four to seven. But we got a
(24:03):
little bit more of an update, and I'm going to
jump right into it. So that's where we are today.
We're still working things out what probably feels like a
glacial pace for readers here and Reddit, but that's just
how life works sometimes. Overall, I would have to say
that despite appearances, our relationship is much stronger now than
it was before I called off the marriage. We both
have a much deeper understanding of each other, and frankly,
Sarah has really demonstrated a lot of emotional growth in
(24:25):
the last year. Jesus, it's been a year, an entire year,
so it has been a year. It's surreal to me
how much time is flown by, but I'm glad to
put most of it in the rear view mirror. Like
I said, I don't think we turned a corner. It's
been more gradual than that. But I definitely do feel like,
after some soul searching, that we are back on track.
PS for anyone who cares, I plan on finishing the
(24:45):
Pagoda this year. There's still enough time to get it
done before summer is over, and I'd like to have
at least a few fireside nights outside with my ex
fiance and current girlfriend. And that is where this story ends.
But we do got all another story for you before
this episode ends. No more updates are updates.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
On this story reached the bottom of the barrel.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Whoa, hey, it kind of ended good, you know, kind
of ended good. Foods here, oh sick? Oh maybe a
little little food break, a little food bro. We also
put the air on too.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
You guys want to eat chat? Do you want to
eat with us?
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Yeah, lunch break, it's a new segment.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Yeah, yeah, lunch break. Oh let's talk any tea. I
don't think my parents are on here. I could I
gave I gave John a bunch of like family drama
that was happening when I went back home.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Oh tee, yeah, I could talk about some of it, dude,
whatever you got.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Number one, my great grandpa who's like ninety one wants
to divorce his wife who's like eighty six.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Wow, why well, so, like, what what wife is? This
is this first wife?
Speaker 3 (25:53):
Uh? No, first wife died. This is his part time wife.
Part time meaning she only comes on the weekends whenever
COVID happened. He kind of called her and gave her
like a kind of a mean like don't be coming
around here with that, like, don't get me sick, And
it was I don't know, she kind of took hard.
I would say, and hasn't really been hanging out with
(26:15):
my grand grandpa since then.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
His name's George, and I think they bang.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
They did, that's when they got married. Now heck, you know, man,
this man, wait, how long have they got married Whenever
my mom was little her five, my mom's forty seven,
five years later, probably like thirty years ish, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
But he just gives her time for a weekend wife.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Well, she lives in like another like an hour away,
and she has her own business, but she only gets
takes money from them in away. Well, they don't really talk.
She kind of like visits for a little bit then leaves,
and he always gets like kind of pissy about it.
But over Christmas she came and I saw her and
I was like, hey, life's great. Yea, she's loving it
(27:02):
and she's talking to everybody everybody there, but does not
talk to George, and then leaves and does not talk
to George. And George gives her like like a present.
He gives everybody in the family present. He also gave
Andreie a present, which has never has only happened to
one other girlfriend. But they didn't get as much as
she did, I know.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
So Andre's getting a special treatment.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Then special treatment and the good like one of the
girlfriends that treated me right back in the way, got
it not the latest ex but uh he she basically
got the money and left and didn't say bye to George,
And George was like, kind of like what, like she
didn't say bye to me. Mom was like, well, you
could take away the good things out of this day
and like kind of forget about like the bad things. Yeah,
(27:44):
that has been interesting. But he only wants to divorce
her so he can like clean out one of his rooms.
And I'm like, dude, you can just go ahead and
clean out one of your rooms in your house.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
You don't have to wait and divorce a room for her.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Yeah, it's like her bedroom where she like keeps her
stuff and everything. But I'm like, what do you one?
You're ninety one, what are you gonna do in there?
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Dude? Games could get pinball machines.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Dude, he could be he could start live streaming, he
could have his own chat man.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
He going hinge.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
Honestly, being being insanely old is low key like a
content hack. You just do something like that. Young people
do that, they would not expect an old person to
do and you're there. H a secret admire ninety seven
donated five dollars. Sam, you're looking online, but you got.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Me, baby. I can be your Mandy.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Oh man, Can I get a?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Can I get a?
Speaker 4 (28:37):
You might be Mandy right now? And he's about to
add the big and the wife next to it? Oh baby,
who's reading again?
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Does it mean we're finishing up this episode?
Speaker 2 (28:48):
We're finishing up the episode.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Hey, it's Sam, your og host. Here. We're gonna get
back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads
from our sponsors. My boyfriend prioritizes his friends who discriminate
me and my daughter. Oh boy, it's long story because
I need to give some context, so please bear with me.
I am twenty two, a white Puerto Rican female this
will be mentioned later, and my boyfriend is twenty five white.
Also sorry for this word vomit. I'm not great at
(29:12):
telling stories, so I hope this is understandable. Sorry if
I get sidetracked things in advance for the help. By
the way, this comes from Manic Pixie xxx on the
r slash Okay Storytime sub wrote it. So I often
visit my boyfriend and my three year old daughter even
has a room in his house. However, we live next
door to his friends. And while it is fantastic to
live with friends when they are responsible and reasonable, helpful friends,
(29:34):
my situation is the opposite. Oh dear, they are usually
nice when they are by themselves. These are twenty six
and twenty eight white males. Sorry to mention race, but
it'll come into play later. They typically have a revolving
door of tinder girls and dates coming over. So I
meet some who are ninety nine percent of the time white.
While I have pale skin, my naturally big and curly hair,
as well as mixed race black white and Puerto Rican daughter,
(29:57):
we stick out like a sore thumb. Still, my way
of talking is more on the Hispanic or a guest
urban side. I guess I grew up with my mom
whose first language was Spanish and a family who didn't
speak English well without a heavy accent. So anyway, I
meet new people, and in my attempt to make them
feel more comfortable with me, I try to do a
white girl voice. As terrible as that sounds. I am
(30:19):
the type of person who sits back and watches before
I interact. I see them joking about a brown band aid,
saying why they would buy the black people band aid,
and one of the girls laughs and says it is brown,
not black. Sea Haha, this will have meaning later, laughing
at her boyfriend twenty eight male, we're gonna do some
icy territory here we are. I'm two twisted teas in
(30:40):
at this point. I don't often drink, so I'm feeling
tipsy and start my valley girl voice because I unfortunately
did feel uncomfortable around them, to which they responded by
speaking in a valley girl voice back to mock me
whenever I was around, to which I ignored. So op
speaking in a valley girl voice to be just kind
of inclusive but like the other people. But the other
(31:03):
people like know she's putting on a voice, so they're
making fun of her.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
She like she's code switching.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
She's trying to like fit in, like fit in essentially,
but it's like fitting in too much. Yeah, quote unquote,
and now they're like catching on to what she's doing
and mocking her with it.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Well, my daughter is playing with her friend. We are
all still playing UNO, and they conveniently forget to deal
me in claiming they did, and I stuck it back
under the stack, which I didn't it was very far
away from it, and my boyfriend said, no, she never
got one, but it's okay, she can play with me.
I get a call from my sister and start talking
still in a valley girl's voice, which the girls eat up.
But I am a very anxious person and was wasted
(31:41):
and honestly would have rather been made fun of for
talking like them versus my authentic voice and way of speaking.
My sister immediately knew something was wrong and asked why
I spoke like that. Me and my boyfriend are significantly
better looking than his friends and the girls they bring,
so there's sometimes a bit of issues with the tender
girls favoring to look at my boyfriend, which I ignore
because I'm confident into myself and I'm building a life
(32:01):
for myself that will surpassed what they could all ever do.
And I'm an honor role university student. Yeah. I mean
these sound like really whack people, And I'm like, is
your boyfriend not a little whack if he's friends with
all these whack people?
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Yeah? So are they the tinder dates of his friends?
Speaker 1 (32:16):
I think the tender dates of his friends. Okay, that's
where it sounds like, but like, I mean, why would
you hang out with these people? Well, we've all had
one bad tinder date. Yeah, but I don't know. It
feels a little whacky. But anyway, back to my sister.
I told her, and she said, I'm very disappointed you
around people that make you feel uncomfortable and that your
(32:39):
boyfriend continues to put you in a place like that. Sam,
this makes my anxiety worse. So I decide to go
for a walk and my boyfriend's friend's parents are watching
my daughter and our friend. Before I left from my walk,
I opened my notes app and told my boyfriend I
was very anxious. Can we go back home together and relax?
He said no, So I understood he wanted to be
with his friends. Ming Wing says, what is a value voice?
(33:00):
It's like and so I texted him and let him
know I was going on a walk and asked if
you could keep an eye out for my daughter like that?
Like that? So I texted him to let him know
I was going on a walk and asked him if
he could keep an eye out for my daughter, who
at this point she thinks is her father.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Wait, that's a big detail.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
That's a huge detail.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
And I guess the daughter is there with them all.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Yeah, dude, there's a baby in the midst that's a
huge detail. Baby, and that was just completely overlooked.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
I've been with him for over two years, so that's
most of her life. She's already being watched. But I
wanted to kerm she would looked at by him uh
Op's boyfriend, to which he responded by saying, when you're back,
we can call my daughter Nina back, which led me
to believe she was missing, only two blocks away and
hauling a to get back.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
So she's saying, like, oh, can you watch my daughter?
Speaker 4 (33:57):
And he's like, oh yeah, like, we'll call her back
when you get back.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
And she's like, well, why do you got to call it?
Where's there right now? Like why you gotta call her?
Speaker 1 (34:06):
I called him while I was on the way, and
he said I should call my friends and hung up,
which made me even more concerned, But he didn't care.
He was upset that I didn't want to hang out
with his friends. All he would have had to do
was open the door five steps away from where he
was sitting to see my daughter, but he didn't. I
come back, literally in a full blown panic attack because
she doesn't know where her daughter is, like if her
daughter's being taken care of. My daughter's fine, right where
(34:28):
I left her. I get her and she goes to
her room to watch her iPad while I start to
cry downstairs, not understanding why my boyfriend wouldn't give me
confirmation that my daughter's okay. Okay, so really quick to
go back, so op, he's feeling anxious yep, and she's like, hey,
can we leave? And the boyfriend's like I want to leave.
He's like, okay, I'm just gonna leave for a little bit,
like go down the street. Can you watch my daughter?
(34:51):
Boyfriend's like okay. And then later OPI asked, hey is
my daughter? Then he's like I don't know. And all
you had to do was like walk five steps to
see if she was act actually in the next room,
but he wouldn't do that. Yeah, and now she's having
like a panic attack.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
What a stupid thing to say.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Yeah, that's stupid, bro. My daughter is fine, right where
I left her. I get her and she goes to
a room to watch her iPad while I start to
cry downstairs, not understanding why my boyfriend wouldn't give me
confirmation that my daughter was okay. He told me it
was my fault because I should have confirmed with him
in person before I left, and it wasn't his responsibility
to check on her for me. This completely shocked me.
(35:27):
He'd been so good to us and never acted like
my daughter was a burden. He helps me in almost
every way with her. So am I the eye hole
thinking that he should have checked on my daughter for
me really quick? I think you shoul dump the boyfriend.
But also I don't know if putting father responsibility on
him is a good idea. One one, yeah, one because
(35:50):
there's like they're young, but also two, h for a
bunch of reasons. They're young. Two, he's like your boyfriend
and maybe he isn't ready for that responsibility. And three
he seems like he sucks at given being given that responsibility.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
Yeah, it's it's like she was kind of she was
basically assuming that he was taking that role.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:10):
Now, I think in this specific microcosm, didn't didn't she
say before she left, Hey, I'm just gonna go.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
You don't want to leave, okay, cool, I'm gonna go
for a walk. Just watch her. Yeah, right, So the
fact that she said I'm going for a walk. Just
watch her. That's the time. If he said no, I don't.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Feel like doing it, yeah he should have said it.
Then yeah, but he agreed to it.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
He agreed to it.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
And then it's like, okay, if someone says watch this child.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
Regardless of you're a father figure or not, you just
do that.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
Yeah. He's like, bro, you're trying to make a fight.
It's like, I just want you to watch it for
ten minutes while I took a walk.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
So there's there's yeah, things going on both sides, but
it's like, bro, you should have just watched the child
and don't be a freaking Idy'd be like, whoa.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Out of the worst shoes.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Maybe she ran away.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
I'll go find her when you're back.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Yeah, I think I think, Uh, I think, don't I
feel like this might be you know, and and the
relationship territory.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
I think I think we're accidentally stumbling upon all of
the misalignment.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Yeah and leave it.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Hey, it's John ere og host here. We're gonna get
back to the stories. But here's a quick three minute
break of ass from our sponsors.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
So am I able for thinking he should have checked
on my daughter? For me? The parents that were watching
my daughter, after seeing how Distrada was, offered to give
me their number, but I just said that's okay, thanks
and took my kid inside, wanting her to be safe
with me. But I want to clarify she was never
in danger. I was just scared as a loving mother, okay,
I believe. So. She was already being watched by some
other parents and OPI just wanted the boyfriend to check
(37:39):
and it was like, you know a few it's like
five steps away basically.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
And he's like like this, I'll go find her when
you're back.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah, like or like I'm not gonna leave. He told
me it was my fault. I should have confirmed with
him in person before I left, and it wasn't my
response and it wasn't his responsibility to check on her
for me. This completely shocked me because he's been so
good to us and never acted like my daughter was
a burden. He helps me in almost every way with her,
So I might ask, am I the a hole for
thinking he should have checked on my daughter for me?
(38:06):
The parents that were watching my daughter, after seeing how
distraught I was, offer to give me their number, but
I just said that's okay. Thanks, and took my kid inside,
wanting her to be safe with me. But I would
like to clarify she was never in danger. I was
just scared. As a loving mother, my daughter is everything
to me. I would have brought her on the walk
with me, but it was dark, so I didn't want
I didn't feel that that was safe. I didn't plan
on going far anyway. My boyfriend storms out, adamant it
(38:29):
was my fault. He returns five minutes later, putting on
his shoes and saying he will go to the bar.
Mind you, I'm still hysterical crying over the scare with
my daughter. I start to have a full blown panic attack,
crying and I can't breathe. He stays to comfort me
and make sure I'm okay. He doesn't end up going
to the bar and tells me I guilted him into
staying still. He was telling me over and over it
was my fault and if something did happen to her,
(38:50):
it would be my fault she which is what set
me off because he was right. I just assume he
would have checked on her since he always has. And
also going to the bar with these people after an
argument sounded weird to me considering I'm not allowed to
go to bars because he says I'm too pretty. It
will be hit on, and then the next.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
Sentence and then the next sentence is a classic like oh,
he's so perfect, but but.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
He's almost a perfect boyfriend. I'm young, so that social
media would bother me. Lol. He does not follow any
girls but me, and we are barely on social media,
which I love and it's hard to find these days.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Okay, just because he's trying to isolate you doesn't mean
he hasn't already isolated himself.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Still, I don't want to he hated, and tell him
to go. He doesn't. Oh God, really just pulled out
his own mic. He was serious, guys, he says, and
tells me how he loves my daughter and me and
he would always want to protect us, which then why
couldn't you look out the door? Still, he told me
I needed to be nicer around his friends. I told
him I didn't feel comfortable as the only Hispanic in
(39:50):
a group of the whitest of the white, and I
was wrong for saying that. And he took some air saying,
don't play the race card because I'm paler than him.
He indeed he loves the sun, but they asked me
what a Jamaican song was saying, I guess they thought
it was Spanish. One of the friends said, don't be
racist in response to that to another friend. So it's
hard not to think it's about me being hispanic at
(40:12):
least a bit. And I'm sure that's not their issue
with me, and that they are just insensitive and want
to bother me. But then he starts to tell me
ways that he stands up for us, like when his
friends and their girlfriend started saying the little black girl
randomly as a joke. He told them to stop and
that she's mixed and it's irrelevant and she shouldn't have
been brought up. I was not there to hear that,
(40:35):
and neither was my daughter, which is where the brown
band aid joke came about my boyfriend saying my daughter
wasn't black, she was mixed. These are his lifelong friends,
so he made it clear I can't be mad at
him for hanging out with them, but he is moving.
So am I the ahole for expecting him to check
out my daughter? And should I even be with him anymore?
I don't think my boyfriend is racist in any way. However,
my friends told me I should still be concerned with
(40:57):
his friend's comfort in talking about my daughter like that
after years of dating. He said, they must have been
trying to look tough for their tendi dates since my
boyfriend is much bigger than them and they were all drinking.
And I am a very pale Puerto Rican. They call
me la ringa, So I don't worry too much about
things like that, but now I feel like I have
to for my daughter. So it's a good mom should
(41:17):
I leave him. I love him very much and don't
want that to happen. We got so close so fast,
but I need to think that my daughter is first. Also,
when you stay with a man with friends like that,
I probably wouldn't, but I would always stay with us.
Listening on our podcast, okay, storytime. You can search it
up anyway where we get podcasts and that way you
can listen when you're doing anything. But on this story, yeah,
(41:41):
I mean, he sounds like a poopy bag.
Speaker 4 (41:42):
He has so many, so many layers of reasons of
why you should leave you should leave him, and like
so many reasons.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Yeah, so many reasons, so many reasons. I think you
should leave him. But let's see what Opie says. I
want to take my daughter around him again, since she
was referred to as little black girl as an insult.
I also think it is weird that her being black
would be a bad thing. My daughter is not dark
skin either, so the whole situation feels so weird to
me that I would even have to think about these
things even if she was dark skinned. I don't see
(42:13):
the issue or why sane people would ever bring it
up as a joke. My boyfriend didn't tell me to
the extent or with much context on context, and I
didn't ask. It wasn't enjoyable to me. Thanks for reading.
If you made it this far, I would love the
help also throughout this mark. I'm a big fan and
love your podcast. I would love to hear your opinion
since I enjoy your honesty and fair judgment.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Oh we got a fan.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
We got a fan, dude, we love that leave leave
he doesn't he doesn't sound like a good guy. Yeah,
he does not sound like a good guy. I need
to do what's best for you and your daughter.
Speaker 4 (42:44):
He's so controlling and you know, just again a million reasons,
but him trying to be like, Oh why I do
all of this and that, and I think, I think truly. Also,
it's like a lesson in trying to find alignment. Know,
is he a criminal for not wanting to be a
dad yet? No, But that's something that like you got
(43:08):
to figure out and like work out, like, Okay, yeah,
is he really you know, if he keeps going down
the road two years in, well eventually one would presume
he would be a dad. So it's like, okay, figuring
out if he is actually once and.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Is ready for that?
Speaker 1 (43:21):
Yeah, And also like think about your daughter, Like is
this guy and his friends a good influence on your daughter?
So like I really don't think so, but I would
love to know what y'all think. Put your answers in
the commons, blow let us know. But that is where
this story and this episode ends.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
It was a doozy.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
It's quite a douzy.
Speaker 1 (43:43):
Yeah, So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
We love you and Sorrow
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