November 20, 2025 ā¢ 55 mins
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00:16 r/relationship_advice - [4] Please tell me if I'm making the right decision or not. I (28F) packed up some of my stuff and moved back to my parents house impulsively after a huge argument with my (29M) Fiance. Does this relationship sound salvageable?
20:05 r/BestofRedditorUpdates - That awkward moment when you get a phone call from an anonymous person telling you to stay away from your boyfriend of three years, because his wife has already been chosen for him.
43:02 r/okstorytime - Am I overreacting? My (24f) Fiancé (26m) Gambled with my grandmothers engagement ring so I called off the engagement
Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated
#reddit #funnyredditposts
okay storytime, okstorytime, okopshow, okop show
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are
the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
But the thing is this foundation needs a little support
from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes we'll get
into the episode.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
My fiance is furious that I'm asking to celebrate our marriage.
How dare you? And there's a trigger warning here for
emotional and verbal abuse. My fiance twenty nine male, and
I twenty eight female, have been together for three years,
living together for two and a half. We had gotten
into a huge argument that blew up. He was tressing
out about the housing crisis, telling me that we need
(00:36):
to buy a house as soon as possible because he
predicts interest rates will keep on horizon. I told him
I agreed, However, I would like to be married before
buying a house with someone. By the way, this comes
from a deleted user and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Stortime Suburate.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I'm Dakota, I'm Riley Angie's boyfriend.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Then I'm Carly Keon's girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Thought we share a little bit more about ourselves.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Just turning out Dakota and I bother everybody, and this
is the show. We give you good advice, goofully. We try.
We don't know everything, okay, despite what it feels like,
we actually don't have all the answers. We only know
what we would do given any situation.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
So you.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
If you would do something else, just let us know
in the comments.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
And we'll read them personally, every single one of them.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Sometimes, as Op says, he said, we can't afford a
wedding plus a house right now, and ask me to
pick one or the other, putting or a house. I
mean it depends. Like, if it's like twenty nineteen, which one.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Are you picking?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Twenty nineteen? You know it's about twenty nineteen, know.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
What's about to happen in two years?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Well, if I know it's gonna happen in two years
in its twenty nineteen, then I can do all of
the gambling.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
No no, and I can win all of the gamble
only gambling thing house or we can put one hundred
pe trillion dollars on Okay, house, wedding, rams win the
super Bowl? Nope, wrong house or wedding. In this scenario,
which are you getting?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
PlayStation? It was pretty obvious which choice he wanted. I
made a compromise with him that I at least wanted
to be married on paper before we bought a house together,
and he ended up agreeing. He also said that after
the house, when we are more financially stable, we can
have a wedding then, which I was fine with.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Done, don't duh, get that on contract, get that on paper, and.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Get that recorded. Put that into the docket. The next day,
I had a change of heart and asked him if
he would be willing to go on a celebratory trip
together after signing our marriage papers as a way to
celebrate our marriage without a wedding. I don't know why,
but this set him off, and he started ranting about
how weddings are a waste of money, that this is
just pissing money away, and how stupid weddings are.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Oh, I think he just needed a co signer for
this house.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Why is he freaking out?
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Man?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Why you just want to be like, we're married, let's
do a thing. He's like, I literally hate this. I
don't want to be married. I think it's stupid and
you're dumb for wanting it as well, and I hate it.
Might be a little bit of a red flag. I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Oh yeah, he just wants you as a financial support
towards his dream house or his house he's gonna flip
into stumping mouse.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Who knows yep uh. I had to ask him multiple
times to please stop ranting that I got his point.
The next day we got into it again, but this
time it fully blew up. I asked him again if
he was willing to go on a less expensive trip
with me again to celebrate our marriage after signing the papers.
He would only be covering his portion and I would
(03:45):
pay for myself. I suggested a short road trip to
a small town near where we live. Again, this triggered him,
and he got very angry, to the point where we
started raising our voices at each other each time. I
felt like he didn't want to spend any money to
celebrate our marriage with me. I tried to compromise with
him and lowered the stakes. It ended with me saying
(04:07):
that I just wanted to do something beyond just signing
a few papers. I told him we could go out
for a nice dinner or even just buy me flowers.
I would be happy with that. I don't know why,
but this has made him very angry.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
This is where we stop compose ourselves, go for a
little walk and really think of the future ahead of us.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah, honestly, I think at this point I would compose
myself on a walk to the nearest divorce attorney's office.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
There's only one. You don't even need to do that
because you're not married yet. Yeah, exactly what house would
you go through with this? Like?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Where would what house? Would you go to?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Any? Any house? It could be the Hobbit house, It
could be any house.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Does the tartists from doctor who count as a house?
I would go to that one.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Okay, that's the one you would go for, Carly.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
I don't want to deal with this for any house.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Wow. Okay, well facts, if you have a house in mind,
put in the comments. I'm interested.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
He responded that I was asking for crumbs and that
I couldn't even accept that gesture. Wait what what he said?
He was making the financially smart decision to buy a
house and secure a decent future for our children one
day and accuse me of not trusting his decisions. Hey, dumb, dumb,
you can buy a dozen roses. It's not going to
(05:27):
impact your ability to buy a house, and if it does,
you can't buy a house.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Yeah, don't, don't buy a house because with the house,
isn't there like this thing ah shoot that covers it
in case something happens to it. What's that called?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
What insurance? Yeah? You have to yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
And then what's those pipes that go into it that
like give you pipes? Yeah yeah, but like it gives
you something at the other end of the water.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Yeah, and those It's almost like when you buy a
house that comes with bills that you have to buy exactly.
Yeah that stuff. Yeah, dude, No, I'm leaving this guy
that's crazy for our children one day.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Oh my god, Now he wants you to being a manufacturer.
Come on this.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I know this it might sound extreme to like leave
him for this, but like, this is one of those
moments that happens in a relationship where I feel like
you just fundamentally can't go back. Oh yeah, no, Like
you're talking about getting married and just getting a marriage
certificate and you didn't even get rose and getting flowers
going out to dinner.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Dude, you can get flowers for five bucks.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Crazy, get your girlfriend's flowers, Like short of like a
growth in your brain causing you to react this way,
there's no coming back, and we've had stories, but that's
been the thing I thought. It's like, oh my god,
my partner just changed their behavior out of nowhere. They're like,
I don't even recognize them, and it's yeah, because they
had a freakin tumor in their head.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
I thought a few of those today, but that wasn't
the case.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
I replied that we don't have children yet and we
should focus on making our relationship work right now. He
ended the conversation by telling me to f off and
get out of my face. All right, I'll do that,
I'm leaving. I was so stunned that I didn't move
the first time he said it. I want to add
that I try very hard to never yell, insults, curse,
(07:04):
or negatively label him when we argue. I believe the
purpose of an argument is to try to understand each
other's point of view. The worst thing I'll do is
raise my voice. After he screamed in my face, I
left the house and went to my girlfriends. Then I
saw a text from him telling me that I might
as well pawn the engagement ring because he wouldn't tolerate
this level of disrespect for leaving the house without a
(07:28):
word of where I was going. He did not ask
me where I was going. Thank God, you have not
bought a house or gotten married to this guy. Now
you have the perfect way to get out.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Has anything like this happened before?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Ope?
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Did this all of a sudden just now happen. There's
had to be something.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
There has to have been. There's no way this came
out of nowhere. There's no way this is not the
first time something like this has happened. A few months
a few months ago, I expressed to him I was
upset he had nothing planned for my birthday, and again
he blew up in my face.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Dude, Okay, I think you were just a financial support
for his plan.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Like what, this is crazy. Your man's got a little
tiny man energy, little tiny man yelling at you because
he forgot your birthday. He's crazy.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Dakota's favorite.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
It's a little one inch mane.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
This man has the self worth of a little one
inch man. Okay. He called me an effing psycho and
said that he wasn't going to change. He told me
if I didn't like it, I could f off. I
ended up leaving the house again that night and sleeping
over at my friend's house. We ended up making up
and he apologized profusely and did end up planning something
(08:50):
for my birthday. No, he planned something that happened after
your birthday. Yeah, after he felt guilty does not count.
He told you to go f yourself and to leave
if and he's never gonna change.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
And if you don't start listening to your best friend
that you're staying at house, that best friend's like, girl.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
M dude, not gonna lie. Like going back to like
a guy like who's so clearly liked to someone you
should leave over and over again is a great way
to lose all of your friends. They will stop tolerating
your nonsense. So blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
We made up back and made them something for my birthday. Bat.
We just talked this morning, and he's extremely hurt that
I moved my stuff out and slept in my parents'
(09:29):
house last night. We're not officially broken up yet, but
I have a feeling that's where this is headed because
of me. Oh my god, get out so bad, you're brainwashed,
Get out. Run This is him, This is because of
his decisions and his actions. You're like I demanded, like
the shred of positive energy, you know, when we're getting married,
(09:50):
And he said no and yelled at me and told
me to go f myself and f off. He said
he's not willing to do therapy because he thinks it's
a waste of time. Did I do the right thing?
Was this relationship? Salvagable?
Speaker 3 (10:01):
No?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I would appreciate hearing any stories similar to mine. And
there are some comments.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Ope, you have come to read it and you have
given your situation. You get all the passes on this
one because you didn't know if the next update is
not I am breaking up with him. You have failed us.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
All, truly, none more than yourself.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
And these comments are about to put you in your place.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Please be nice to her, though, Please I hope been
nice to you in the comments. Please. Okay, we've got
comment number one. Your relationship is not ending because of you.
It is ending because your fiance had an absolutely irrational, hurtful,
and unacceptable reaction to you asking for something totally reasonable,
(10:44):
and he refuses to work on himself. Loving someone doesn't
mean you let them treat you however they want. Also,
this kind of behavior tends to escalate after marriage and
or pregnancy. If he had come back after self reflecting,
had sincerely apologized and gotten into therapy before you move
back in, then maybe there would be something salvageable here.
If he's not willing to compromise, work on himself, or
(11:06):
treat you with basic respect, then there is nothing to save.
Marriage is an agreement to learn and grow together, and
he's not interested in that. Think about what you would
say to someone you loved if their partner was treating
them this way. This is not your fault, it's one
hundred percent is A second comment says, why would you
want it to be salvageable? This guy has huge anger problems.
(11:28):
Your life would be a nightmare with him. A reply says,
I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't able to buy
a house.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
On his own.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Yup, the co signer theory coming around, so he's trying
to get ope to subsidize the purchase before she realizes
how toxic he is. That's why he's so insistent that
they do it now and refusing to spend money on
anything else. Comment three says, I have been married for
forty five years and the number of times my husband
(11:55):
has screamed at me is zero. You deserve a man
who respects you and is kind to you. It is
difficult to think of leaving a relationship because you think
to yourself, it's not that bad, but it really really is.
Once you're out of the relationship and over the initial emotions,
you will realize that life is better without an emotionally
(12:15):
harmful partner. I wish you all the best, dude.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
I wish I could say that. What I haven't yelled
at my friend.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
No, not Angie, not Angie. No, yelled that she's amazing.
Get out of my butt, Stop talking my butt. I've
had a moment of silence for Riley's butt.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
How else was supposed to stop her?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
All right, there's an update, hyas sah, we broke up.
I initially considered dating him again. Dude, Oh me, why
are you here?
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Didn't you just did you read zero comments?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I initially considered dating him again while still continuing to
live apart. At first, he was very apologetic, calling me
a few times every day telling me how sorry he was.
The Next day, he sent a string of texts where
he promised to change many specific things about himself to
repair our relationship. This all changed once I told him
I wasn't going to immediately move back in. Each time
(13:17):
he phoned me, I typed out what he said in
my notes app. He told me that day he didn't
say f off or get out of my face. He said,
get away from me. Oh whatever, So he's lying, whatever,
Just it's okay, leave him. He asked why I always
misremember things and remember him in the worst way possible,
because he is the worst, and I'm so glad that
(13:39):
you are breaking up with him. He claimed that nothing
he did was ever enough for me and that I
didn't love him anymore, and said that when he calls
me names, he's not calling me that, but saying that
I am behaving a certain way. He said the points
I was making were stupid and that I was being crazy, illogical,
showing my true colors, acting like a victim, delusional, selfish,
taking advantage of him, manipulating him in lying.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
You can tell that this guy clearly does not respect
her as a woman or as a partner whatsoever, because
like he's freaking out that you're not moving in. Huh.
I wonder why, because you're probably the bread winner as well,
and he probably won't be able to afford living by itself.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
He comes back for like two days, being like, oh,
I'm sorry, I'll changelah blah blah blah, and then immediately,
as soon as he doesn't get exactly what he wants,
flips the script a dozo one to eighty. And it's like, like,
I just don't know. She's so pathetic, such a pathetic
little baby. So oh, he continues, he didn't believe me
when I said I wasn't doing any of those things.
(14:39):
But we do have a little bit more story left.
I think we're all just glad.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
And I saw someone say they've been in the situation
and they'll never go back. Yeah, And like you probably
don't know what it looks like until you've been through it.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yeah, it's hard to see it from the inside. It's
like if you know you're a fish, what does water
look like? It's like you can't tell it's there. It's there.
We've seen the same clip, haven't we. Yeah, so it's
it's just one of those things. It's hard to see. Uh,
but once you do, you gotta get out. Anyway, let's
finish this story. When I asked him to stop speaking
(15:13):
to me in a demeaning way. He said I deserved it.
He stinks. He insisted that he was just calling it
like he saw it. He questioned why I was painting
him as a piece of crap, because he is. I
told him I was just explaining why I was upset,
and asked what he wanted me to do. He said
I should speak nicer to him. Heybody wanted to take
your own advice? Uh, this guy's crazy.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
He literally listed off so many things to you, and
you're just supposed to sit there and take it like so.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Sam, Yeah, right, what's up?
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I got a little game. Yeah, I bought three special
gifts for me to.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Secret. He's one has a memory tied to it. It's
a good one, I would hope. Well, I want to
you guys because you guys like this has been working
so hard.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yeah, Sammy, Okay, I got a small but mighty package
here that I'm going to open.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
What I approve of this? Okay? It's a cassette player?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Whoa Okay, So I mean this is old technology here,
which I think means goes to our oldest member on
the podcast on status Dakota.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yeah, yeah, is that right?
Speaker 4 (16:23):
Right?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Right? You got a right I am the uncler. No,
you just mentioned like you have a bunch of accepts
with your mom.
Speaker 6 (16:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
No, I have all these cassettes that I can't play
from my child. A lot of them are just Ricky
Martin cassette taps, and now I will be able to
listen to them. Which is where you gonna listen to
the Cassette's probably in my room while I dance. And
there's also a radio in here. Every time I go
like hiking, always forget to download my music onto my phone.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Come on, So what's the next.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Thing we got anything?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yeah, Dakota, if you want to guess, right, there is
a gift at my feet. Now it is in my hands.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Whoa, I feel like it's got to be our resident
gamer key is.
Speaker 7 (16:59):
The Wrecked Angle of childhood supportable game console. I used
to have this as a kid, This game console I
used to play all the time. And you know when
your mom came into the room when you're a kid
and like you're pretending to escape. Yeah, this guy was
definitely under the This was under the under the pillow, right,
heart pounding.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
So but Riley, what what a thoughtful gift?
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (17:24):
Right, But we have one more gift.
Speaker 7 (17:30):
Hey, it's not about the size that what's inside about
to find out.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Camera, an old timey camera classic. This is awesome.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah, because you know how I love to take pictures
on my travels. Yeah, you're always somewhere, whether it's in
Kyrgyzstan with some nomad, were just New York, you know,
with a nice little piece of trash.
Speaker 7 (17:53):
Or a rat taking pictures with the birds.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
So Riley, you got all this from eBay, Dude.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
EBay, it was really fun finding it with you guys,
like I had very specific things for each one of you.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Yeah, it was all there. Thanks Riley, and thank you eBay.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
And guys shop eBay for millions of fines each with
a story ebe Thanks people love.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
I asked why I should have to mince my words,
explaining I was telling him exactly what he said and
why I left. He said it was about how I
think of him, not about his actions before he screamed
in my face. Initially, he had told me he couldn't
explain things to someone who doesn't work, who's never had
to deal with money, or who's never had to allocate funds.
He said, if we were a part for too long,
(18:36):
he's not going to love me anymore, and then I
had to move back in or he will stop loving
me and move on, though he claimed he still loved
me at that moment. Thank you to everyone who commented
on my original post and recommended the Lundie Bancroft book.
It has confirmed everything I was thinking, and that is
the end of that story. And let me just say,
(18:58):
it horrifies me that guys like this just walk around.
I know, right, we might be like next to them
in line at the store, like truly horrific.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
This is insanity.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
It doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
I feel like people like this need to go to
the military or something and learn how to respect women more.
I don't know, bow down to your queen ten times,
give me ten bows.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
I do feel that the military is not the place
for that.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Okay, we've revamped the military in order to make it
place for that.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Definitely the direction the military is going in now, are
you're gonna respect more women?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Yes, that's wherever going I wish. But a military where
it is that, where they let go and.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
They Riley's new military where they just respect the heck
out of women boom.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
I really do think we should have a new military
where they just bow down to my girlfriend, your girlfriend,
and then she has an army.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Just be okay with that. A bunch of dudes being
near that, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Dude, what she could just be like you go and
he'd be liked. But we got the next story coming up.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Guys. I received a phone call saying my boyfriend is
already engaged to someone else.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Well, uh, that the operator. I think you guy, your
numbers mixed up. Yeah, my boyfriend is from Zimbabwe. That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
And when he was sixteen and she was thirteen, he
was betrothed to marry a girl from the town he
grew up in. He has only met her a handful
of times since then. He has gone overseas to study,
which is where he met me. By the way, this
comes from Oh no, oh my. If younis me your
old stories, go to the r slash okay story jump
sub reddit.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
I'm Riley, he's and she's boyfriend. I'm Dakota he has
a girlfriend, and.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
I'm Carly Kean's girlfriend. I almost said Kean's boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
No, that's me.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Yeah, dude, that's us actually, And we're here to give
good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers,
but I think you might, so let us know your
comments down below. Ann o'peake says, I'm devoted to him.
He's the best and kindest man I've ever met. We
make each other very happy. I'm starting to worry about
him becoming depressed because of the impossible expectations his family
(21:12):
have of him to study, get married, send money back home,
and look after his younger sibling. Ooh. I've come to
accept that I will almost certainly have to let him
go to marry this other woman. But I'm having a
hard time working out how I can support him and
make him happy and, if I'm honest, encourage him to
stay with me.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
WHOA. None of that is necessarily what you have to
do or should do. Certainly, this is a cultural difference
that I can't really speak to. Although I once dated
somebody who was in an arranged marriage in high school
and guess what, they didn't want to do it? Oh,
and they didn't. I don't know. It's complicated, but I
(21:56):
think at the end of the day, it's like not
something that has to be done and not something that
you have to just like be like, okay, well, this
is now my life and I'm just gonna have to
deal with this and figure out how to subtly convince
him to want to stay with me instead. And it's like,
I think, this is just wow. You're gonna pick an
arranged marriage over me? Then I'm that's not for me.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Then I just wanted to ask Reddit if anyone has
a similar experience with an inner cultural relationship? Do I
have a hope? And heck? And edit pretty amazed by
how many people have replied, I'm still reading everything. Also,
does anyone know where I can buy a sword? Boom?
I have two? All right?
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Edit?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
I've been asked to put our ages in the original post.
I'm twenty three. He's twenty sixty seven, also has a
permanent visa, and is not from a royal village. He
grew up in a middle class mining town where his
father is an engineer. Comment her, you need to have
an honest heart to heart with this man. You need
to tell him your fears and your expectations for your relationship.
(22:56):
If he's going to leave for her, then you too
need to separate now instead of dragging it on. If
he is going to be with you, that he needs
to talk with his family and let them know that
you were his love and to cut the crap. Good
love friend, hope, He says. We've had so many of
these discussions and tried several times to separate. It's become
clear that while the two of us still care for
(23:19):
each other, cutting ties just doesn't work. I don't know
how to assert my expectations because I don't really have
any other than he is good and loyal to me. No,
he's not arranged marriage. It's hard to know who he's
being disloyal to.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
What are you taught? I'm sorry, but you saying cutting
ties doesn't work because he's so loyal to me. No,
he's not. He's gonna go into an arranged marriage with
somebody from his town that he's met a handful of times.
I get it that it's a cultural difference, but it's like,
if he's truly like unwilling to you know what, be
(23:55):
like you know what, I'm shirking that I don't care.
I know it's going to be an issue with my family,
but like you are my wife, I want to marry you.
If he can't do that, then this is not the
relationship for you.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Yeah, agreed. A little bit more context to the situation.
He told me about his arranged marriage about one and
a half years into our relationship. It took me another
six months to fully understand what he was telling me,
and since I've been struggling with the moral implications as
well as the practical side of being in a relationship
that isn't likely to be approved by its family, we
(24:30):
were unsuccessful in breaking up because there was never a
moment where we questioned whether we were happy together. Separations
seem like the logical thing to do to avoid further pain,
but it felt as far as I am being dishonest
with his family, Well, you may be right, but I
don't think it's that simple. I don't fully understand the culture,
(24:51):
but it's nothing like what I grew up with. The
best way I can describe it is that it seems
similar to family dynamics in the fifties, where the dad
is the head of the household and doesn't have a
very emotional connection with kids. The mom is someone who
worries about him and he feels he has to protect
and his older brothers are like, why is I father
(25:12):
figures while he has responsibilities for his younger brothers, I mean,
don't want him not to have a relationship with his family,
But does he know what no contact is.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
He's clearly not going to go no contact with his family.
And if you do stay in a relationship and it
does ruin his connections with his family, he's probably gonna
present you for it and blame you for it. Yeah,
regret that they did that. He did this, and today
this was all a big mistake. So the thing you
need to do is walk away from this. Don't tell
me you don't know how to do that, or call
(25:44):
the girl and be like, yo, still want to go
through this?
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Yeah, I'm going to op, explains to another commenter, When
I said it took six months, what I was trying
to imply that it took me six months to really
understand the gravity of the situation and to really understand
that there's strong possibility that love will not conquer all
in our case.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Yeah, what do you mean a strong He's telling you
that he's going to get married to this other person
and that there's nothing to be done about it because
it's what his family expects. So he's telling you that, Yeah,
there's relationships on life support and one day the plug's
gonna get pulled.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Yeah, In college. I was on and off again with well,
we kind of broke up, got back together, kind of
broke up, got back together, and my other relationship his
parents didn't really approve me and we should have just
walked away at the first one. And it's hard because
it's just like, I love you so much. I think
we're great together. The only reason we're not together is
because of my parents. It's easy to come like they're
not breaking up because they have beef with each other.
(26:39):
They're breaking up because of the circumstances. Since why they
get back together so easily. I feel like.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
He's got to be the one then to be like
I'm pulling the plug because this is something that like
I knew that I had to do this whole time,
and it's affecting you that, like I'm also caving to
date you again. He's just got to be like, Okay,
I gotta do the tough thing now.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I'm worried. Op he's just being ideal, realistic, and that
this guy is being like I mean, yeah, I don't
have to feel guilty. Why would I feel guilty. I
told you that this was the situation, so I don't
have to end anything. I'm not being tortured about it
because I already know I'm getting married. I'm worried that
that's what's happening. I hope it's not, but I'm worried
that's what it is.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Yeah, we have another update. Two months later. He decided
he has no choice but to marry the girl he's
betrothed to. He hopes we can remain friends and keep
in touch. He will be going back home to marry
her in September, after which he will return here with
his new bride start married life together. The good news
is that they will be living in the same suburb
(27:38):
as me, so the chances of me bumping into them
are high. No clarified in the comments, this is sarcasm.
How shall I move on and avoid spending the next
year sitting in the dark drinking gin Get a hobby,
meet new people.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
I think you really do need to reanalyze this relationship.
You dated him for a year and a half before
he told you about this, then it kind of didn't
sync in for another six months, so you've been together
for two years at the point where you realized, oh,
this is like serious, this is a real thing. I
don't know if this was necessarily the fairy tale love
conquers all situation being stifled by you know, family tradition
(28:17):
that you might think it is. And I think reframing
it in that way would definitely help you move on,
because now you're not imagining like you've lost like the
love of your life in this fairy tale situation, and
it's like a divine tragedy, Like it's really just like
a guy kind of strung yell along.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Yeah, can you ask him, for the sake of his
feelings for you to move to a different suburb. It's
not going to matter to the new girl where she lives,
so he at least should do one less thing right
by you. The reason he's moving to the area is
to finish his masters. The college he wants to go
to happens to be about five minutes away from my house,
and the city I live in isn't all that big.
(28:56):
Another commenter says, just talk about it with someone, you
can share this. I tried dealing with it by myself
when my girlfriend of seven years left me when I
found out she had been cheating on me. I thought
I was over her, and so when I tried to
date someone again a year later, I realized I was
still left up. Thankfully, I ended up dating a girl
(29:16):
who my best friend, and I could talk about everything
with her. Now I feel great, probably the best I've
ever felt. But who says thanks, shall try to do
the same. But tell me, do you feel embarrassed to
talk to your friends about your situation? The reason I
asked is because I feel ashamed about the whole thing.
And even though I don't believe my friends would judge
me fre like an idiot for believing things might work out,
(29:40):
the idea of discussing that idiocracy anyone else who knows
me is really repellent. At the moment. You're in love
when you're.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Young, sometimes you gotta eat the l You just gotta
eat it go and then just swallow it and it's gone.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
It's like lizard leather.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
You ate that l that leather, lizard l Well.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Same commenter. Honestly could not talk about this with any
of my friends. I really only have male friends. It
wasn't until I became friends with this other girl who
was going through a breakup too, that I could finally
talk about the things that bothered me. And I felt
a little embarrassed talking about it. But when I realized
she wouldn't judge me. I was able to open up.
You just need to find someone that you are comfortable
(30:21):
sharing with, hope, He says, Thanks sound advice. I've started
at a new university, so at least the chances of
meeting new people are pretty good. It would have been
a shame if my only option would siddle up people
at the bus stop. Another commenter, how do people do this?
How do you leave someone you shared your life with
for three years? How could you marry someone you don't
(30:41):
even know? How do you make it work with someone
of a completely different upbringing assuming he grew up in
North America and her in Zimbabwe. Who's that scared of
their parents that they are willing to throw it all
away to please them? Please? These stories shock me always.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Yeah. Culture difference, different cultures, different expectation.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Yeah, my culture is if I don't, you know, give
my first born son to go to the work of
the saw mill for a summer, I have ashamed of
my family. During that Boy's Collar Blue, I ask him
very similar questions and the answers were all of the
lines of I have to choose between you and my
entire family. If I stayed with you, they would be
humiliated and would never fully accept you. Also, any misfortunes
(31:23):
that we my experience in the future, you know, a
baby passing will be attributed to the fact that I
betrayed my family and you are a heathen and this
is our punishment from God.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Honestly, that's like the most heathen belief you could probably have.
That a bad thing that happens to you is you
being smited by God because you didn't listen to your parents. Okay, sure.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
He has spoken to her a few times and can
only hope for the best. She comes from a good
Christian family and has been trained since she was young
to be a good wife. He said that he will
regret it for the rest of his life if he
can't find happiness with her, but this is the decision
he has to make. Another one. He only came here
to study a few years ago when he was in
(32:06):
his early twenties, so they have had similar upbringings, the
major difference being that he has experienced years in a
totally different secular culture and can see the value of it.
She has never left her hometown except for short stays
with relatives in other cities. She still has her V card, etc. Etc.
It's not that he's scared of them, is that he
(32:27):
feels guilty because he feels that he's bringing them. Also,
this goes beyond his parents to his extended family, and
family is very important to him culturally. The prospect of
not having his family is more or less unthinkable for him.
I don't know if I feel more sorry for him
or myself. I guess it's probably me because of Disney what.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
But look the way that Disney love It's like everyone loveful,
triumph everything.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
The whole way that this guy's been moving. It's like
he knew he had this arranged marriage thing. Clearly he
was never ever intending on not fulfilling it. And he
is in a different country and a different culture, and
he knows that anything with you cannot be long term
because his family won't accept you, and he puts his
(33:17):
family family's approval above everything else. So he literally just
ran around with you like, oh, this is just a
little toy. This is just a little phase of my
life where I get to play around with her, and
then I put her back on the shelf and I
go marry my arranged marriage wife and find happiness with her. Yeah,
I'd be like, go find happiness with your wife. I
(33:37):
hope you have a miserable time.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Reminds me of I'm watching a lot of Game of
Throns right now. This reminds you of pro whenever. Yeah,
he married one girl, and he should have did the
arranged marriage. You come in her. The fact that he
felt the need to go mention that she has been
trained to be a good wife is a kind of
indication of the respect he might have had for you
if you ended up marrying him. He says, that was
me paraphrasing, perhaps slightly bitterly, not a direct quote. He
(34:03):
was saying that she has had a sheltered upbringing, is
very religious as whiting for the day she gets married
for her whole life. I mean same, I've been waiting
for that since I was five, then trained to be
married and praying trained.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
To be wed.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
Yeah, you didn't say in a condescending she's a good
little woman way, or even say that those qualities are
universally valued by the standards of his hometown. However, she
is a good hand.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
I don't know what's going on here, girl, get yourself
worth up off the floor. Man, it's down bad, and
this guy's hot. Honestly, this guy's hot. I was actually
gonna give op a little bit of grief because after
you've realized the seriousness of this that you should have
immediately walked away as soon as he was like, oh, yeah,
well you know this, I'm gonna get married and then
we can't do this anymore. As soon as that like
(34:52):
sank in all the way, you should have walked off,
and you should have been like, why would you do this?
Like why would you create like this thing with me
and have this bond in this relationship where I can
see a future with us, and then you pull this
a year and a half afterwards, like you're pathetic, your liar,
you deceived me. Lose my number, lose my info. That's
where you should be at.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Honestly, he knows what he has to do. Ope on moving.
The wedding is overseas, so thankfully mutual friends attending is
not an issue. I can't move at the moment, though
I've gotten a two year release. More importantly, I've just
started a course that I love, and my UNI offers
one of the best programs available in my field. I
can't sacrifice that at the moment, because really a major
(35:33):
reason that I haven't locked myself in my room with
stack of DVDs and several cases of wine. Poor op
this is before the internet, to a longer comment saying
she's not mad enough, he didn't fight it, and she
should move. Just a couple of things to clear up.
I've explained above why I don't want to move. I
have rental and university commitments that are very important and positive. Respectfully,
(35:56):
he did tell his parents about me, he said. The
extent of their response is don't even think about it.
Apparently a few words were spoken, but they have made
themselves very clear. Whether this can be considering fighting for
the relationship, I'm still unsure. I don't know. For him
to even bring it up with his parents was a
big deal for him. When he told me about it,
(36:17):
he seemed upset with himself. He said something like it
was a short conversation that they cut off almost immediately.
I may live to regret that I did not have
the balls to say more.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
I'm not mad.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
To be real, I don't even think this woman is
a thing. I don't think this woman is a real thing.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Yeah, I don't know. It's like oh, you mean the
more that you could say today or tomorrow or immediately
like oh I wish oh, they shut down the conversation.
I might regret it the rest of my life that
I didn't say more. WHOA, Well, you could fix that immediately, actually,
but you won't because you just want to say what
makes you sound like you gave it your best shot.
(36:58):
It's just crazy, dude, wild I hope that you come
out from under this spell that this guy had you on.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Sam.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Here, we're gonna get back to the stories, but here's
three of it's bads from our sponsors.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
I'm not mad because I can see that he isn't
happy and that he feels strapped. I still care for him.
I can't bring myself to write him off just because
I don't get what I want. I can see why
you imagine him to be innipotive, but I think this
is just one of those things in life that suck
for all who is involved. Was a future wife. The
person who called you, Opie says. The idea of the
(37:30):
caller remains a mystery. The call seems to come from
inside the country, which would indicate that it wasn't her.
I'll never know because understandably, he doesn't want his future
wife to know about us. Wonder why asking her if
she made the phone call would be fruitless if it
was her, and devastating if it wasn't. In any case,
I get another call, I'll politely insist that they identified
(37:53):
themselves properly. Least I asked the police to identify them.
Shan't be harassed. And about keeping in touch with her
lover A pardon me wants to think that we will
keep in touch and try to look out for each
other from distance. The danger is that I think I'll
always feel that he's really mine and that I'll have
more legitimate claim to him than his wife. That's why
(38:15):
we need to stay away from each other, especially in
the first couple of years. It wouldn't be fair to anyone. Dude,
do not be near him if he's like freaking married.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Don't be near him ever. Again. Leave this guy in
the past. And again, I just feel like this guy's
lying to you. You're like he's upset. It's like you
can fake that very simply. You just gotta go, oh, baby,
I'm oh. I just don't want to do like and
I don't know you sound a little GULLI blow pee.
I'm not gonna lie, so he probably wouldn't take that
much to fool you. Yeah, hey, I'm just calling out.
(38:43):
I see it. I hope. I wish nothing but the
best for you. But man, well she did say Disney.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
I mean, I had a fairy tale Disney aspect about
love with my ex and then that all crumbled.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
I was like, oh, yeah, you've got to be pretty
tolerant to be told he has an arranged marriage. And
still it takes six months for that to sink in.
Like you don't immediately go, hey, what did you just say?
Like arranged? How like you're gonna marry it like you were,
or you are going to marry this person? How did
we not get to the bottom of that immediately as
(39:17):
soon as it was spoken out loud.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
Where op is and whether they will live their long
term not in the US, in Australia and no, she
will come here while he finishes his masters, then they
will go back to Africa.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Update two, Nice.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
No mate, naar gnra mate. Okay, So update two we
still see each other a couple of days a week. Dude,
She's all right, she's digmatized. Nah, he does shift work.
So that minimizes our opportunities for spending too much time together.
We've agreed to make the most of her time together
(39:54):
before September. That is not fair to you, That is
not fair to his future wife. He's just using.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
You human torch because I'm flaming right now.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
I'm sure people will criticize me for it, but we've
tried to separate completely. It makes us both miserable.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Oh no, I have zero sympathy for you at this point.
I'm sorry, but I'm not.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
It's going to suck when the time comes to properly
say goodbye. It's nice to have sound sleep snuggled up
to someone.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
I was in a situation with my ex.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
I know to keep bringing her up, but she was
gonna leave in a month to go to Atlanta. But
we still like spend as much time together as we could,
knowing we probably weren't gonna make it.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
Well, that's yeah, I mean, that's it's different. That's different.
She's not going to Atlanta to marry somebody that she
has been planning to marry for I don't know her
whole life.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
She ended up did doing that a year later?
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Wasn't the plan though? Maybe no Betrothal. Yeah, I don't
know that's different. That really is like what op He's
kind of thing. I was just like, oh, circumstance, this
is are you know, forcing us apart? You're going to Atlanta?
I mean not whatever either call would be correct. It's
like you can either spend that time together, you can
be like, I don't want this to hurt more than
it's already going to. So I think we should just
(41:13):
if we know this is what's happening, we should just
call it right now cause I don't want to, you know,
I don't want you to play with my part.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
Okay. Update three nine years later, editors know I included
this to show Opie's life did move on. I have
my phone in silent because a baby is sleeping on me,
even without sound. I woke the babe from silently shaking
with laughter. Worth it and to a commenter, I sure
do miss babies, Opie says, yep. Never used to get it,
but I can say, hand on my heart now. Best
(41:41):
thing ever did editors No, Ope hasn't been active since
twenty twenty one. Oh she's doing really well. Editor's note two.
I couldn't find the context for the comment, but Opie
initially clarified Dex wasn't planning on living in Australia forever.
That could have changed, but here is the comment. His
big plan is he wants to start a farm with
his best friend in Zimbabwe, in Zambia. Who know, trouble,
(42:06):
I'm justlexic. It's fine.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
You just say you saw z and you swung.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
No, I just pronounced it wrong rather than going back
to zim Babe. It's the worst I know. Oh my god.
I recently went overseas with him to meet his best
friend and his best friend's fiance, who both are white
South Africans. We all get along beautifully.
Speaker 6 (42:33):
What that's the worst thing I've ever heard. You're still
going on trips with him to Africa when he's getting
married to what. I hope you've moved on.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
I hope you move on. A lot edde.
Speaker 5 (42:53):
Lot of.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
A fever dream right there? A little crazy, But guys,
we got another store.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Are you coming up right now? My fiance gambelled my
grandmother's wedding ring.
Speaker 3 (43:05):
Did he double his money?
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Oh? This is from the Okay storytime subreddit. It's one
of you. I'm so sorry, so oh god. I twenty
four female. I've been with my boyfriend now fiance, twenty
six male for three years. Yes, he's wonderful in a
lot of ways, kind, attentive, makes me laugh, great with money.
(43:29):
We've been talking about marriage seriously, and I knew a
proposal was coming because my mom accidentally let it slip
that he asked her about my grandmother's ring. Dude, this
is actually a good way to gamble.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
I didn't even think about this.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Explain yourself, Okay.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
I go to Angel, Yeah, and I'm like, hey, getting
pretty serious about your daughter. Do you guys like have
like a ring in your family that you guys passed down?
Speaker 2 (43:55):
This is truly the best way to gamble. The long
con you get in a long term, real relationship with somebody,
the point where you make your family think you're serious
about marriage, you steal their.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
Air own ring. No no, no, no, no, and turn it
into you don't hear playing with heirloom rings. Okay, now
you're getting to the end of moore plan. You pawn
it knowing like you can buy it back. Oh okay,
and then you go if it's a lock, you have
to make sure it's a lock. Lock double money and
you can get two heirloom rings, right, it's better than
one two. And then you take those two heirloom rings.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Oh now, cook, and now you got four rings. You
do that enough, you can start your own ring shop.
It's a family heirloom, a delicate Art Deco diamond band
that has been passed down for three generations. My mom
gave it to him to hold on to until he proposed.
By the way, this comes from User Aware issue twenty
two thirty nine, so at least you're aware of the issue.
(44:48):
And if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay storytime separate where this story
was submitted.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, the one that can't read.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
I'm wearing glasses too hot. But I'm Carly and we're
here to give you good advice. Googly, But we don't
have all the answers. We only know what we would do,
So if you would do something different, let us know
in the comments, and Op says. Fast forward to last
weekend in July. He goes out with his buddies for
poker night. Nothing unusual. Oh my god, he gambled it up.
(45:21):
Just a poker game.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
Dude, he's practicing stopt Oh no, but he came home
late and I noticed something shiny in his pocket when
he threw his jeans in the hamper.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
I pulled it out into my absolute shock. It was
my grandmother's ring.
Speaker 3 (45:38):
Yeah, he's probably waiting to propose.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
I confronted him right there because yeah, because what are
you doing just carrying around the heirloom ring? That's crazy
in his pocket? Where else is it supposed to be
somewhere safe? But if you have the.
Speaker 3 (45:53):
Ring you're waiting for, if I'm bindering, I'm keeping it
in my pocket until it's.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Not my thoughts. That's crazy. What that's crazy?
Speaker 3 (46:00):
It's not an DC every day carry No, that should
stay safe.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
Pie, you know you're proposing. What if I'm like, because also,
who just goes you're just gonna Oh, I feel like
I'm gonna propose right now. I guess I'll put that's
how it happens. That's not how it happens. It's something
you should plan. You're not gonna babe me. Hey, y'all,
it's John og Host here. We're gonna get back to
the story. But here's a quick three minute break from
ask for more sponsors. So and he admitted he's been
bringing it to poker nights for luck. He said it
(46:28):
started as a joke. His friend called it the engagement talisman,
but then he swore it actually helped him win. He
promised he never bet it, just kept it in his pocket.
We were able to work it out over a few weeks,
and he promised he wouldn't do it again. He even
stopped going to poker weekly and now only goes once
a month. About a month or so after this, he
(46:50):
finally proposed with my grandmother's ring and I said, yes,
okay ooh you didn't try.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
Okay, I bet you. He still wants to ring on
Thursday nights though.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
Then came our engagement party. Oh boy, he's gonna gamble it.
Speaker 5 (47:03):
After he's proposed.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
We are celebrating. Everything's perfect until one of his friends
makes a joke about how my fiance almost had to
propose with a crackerjack ring and I froze when I
pressed him. Later, my fiance admitted that months ago he
actually did gamble the ring and lost it. He only
(47:28):
got it back after weeks of playing until he won
it back. Woo.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
What what do you call the people that play pool
to get money? And they like, what do you call
that a hustler? Yeah, he had a hustle for your
getting the ring back.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Okay, I'm gonna say this, Kian. If this is a
good the Boys Boys poker night and someone's gambles the
engagement ring and loses it, we are not taking that.
We are immediately giving him the most crap he has
ever had in life.
Speaker 5 (48:00):
Giving you three warnings. I'm telling you get three strikes
if you keep putting it on the table, saying I
want to keep going.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
I'm taking I'm taking that ring three strikes, and then
you're what I mean, then you're engaged to keon. I'm
gonna need a grand I'm gonna need something. You're gonna
have to win it back.
Speaker 5 (48:18):
You're messing up the fact that I've worn you three
times to not put that ring on the table, and
I'm your friend and I love you, and you say
I gotta keep going. I got to Chase. I'm like,
you had a problem, brother, but let's play this game.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
I would like to think your friends would never let
you actually lose that ring forever. I don't, but I
don't like that the heirloom ring was just with another
person who's not related to it. I could have also
lost it because they're carrying it around in their pocket.
Speaker 5 (48:45):
You see, gambling with that. He has a gamble and.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
That's yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think they no
one there probably even realizes the value of it. But anyway, okay,
so not only did he risk my grandmother's heirloom, but
he lied to me when I could rented it. You
let me believe we had worked through it, when really
he was hiding the worst part of the story the
entire time. Now I feel like the proposal itself is
(49:08):
tainted because all I can think about is how that
ring was sitting on someone else's poker table.
Speaker 3 (49:13):
This is why we don't keep engagement rings in our pockets, Riley.
So now this gives me another reason.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
My read on this is that this was a bit
that went out of control and got out of hand.
Nobody in the group should have entertained this, should have
entertained this. No one should have been taking the ring.
I don't know. I'm sure that if the ring was
at some point the ring would have been got meg
whoever had that ring. I think the biggest thing is
(49:39):
the disrespect of allowing it to even leave your person.
But whoever had that ring, if he went in and
goes like I'm proposing to her, like I need that
ring back, I'm sure they would have given it back.
But I think it's more now at this point the
principle of you were lied to and you were deceived,
and that he would even do something to treat the
ring with such flip and sea, I think, yeah, it's like, well,
(50:00):
and now that the whole proposals tainted because it's like,
what if you wanted to propose before, you couldn't because
you had to get it back. And also you're treating
it like it's just like a poker chip, which then
how much does it really mean to you that you're
proposing to me with this ring if you were willing
to gamble it. So, yeah, it does really mess a
lot of stuff up. It does complicate things.
Speaker 4 (50:17):
He put that in his pocket knowing he was putting
that on the table, There's no way he didn't.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
I would give an ultimatum, no more gambling or we're done,
and then i'd also talk to all his friends. If
you guys tell me he's gambling, I'll give you fifty
bucks on the spot and a hundred bucks if you
can tell me before we get married, and a thousands.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Anyway, we have a little bit more story left. Obi says,
right now, I've gone to stay with my mom for
a bit. I gave you the ring back because I
don't feel comfortable wearing it anymore. And I told my
fiance that if he still wants to marry me, he
needs to propose again with a different ring or it's over.
He says, I'm being dramatic and ruining a good thing
over one mistake.
Speaker 6 (50:57):
Ugh.
Speaker 2 (50:57):
Nah, but I can't shake the feeling that this was
more than just a mistake. It was reckless, disrespectful, and dishonest.
So am I overreacting by making him get a different ring?
Or is this a fair boundary after what he did? Yeah? No,
I think that is fair. This is exactly like I said.
It's like it makes you think to propose me with
this ring that was supposed to be so meaningful, but
you literally lost it at a boys night poker game.
(51:19):
Like clearly you didn't give two shits about the ring.
So I think yeah, And now if you want to
guess what, go out and use that poker money that
you're winning to go buy me another ring hustle. There
you go. But that is the end of that story,
and we have some comments to read. Okay, these comments
(51:40):
are from the video I Discovered my Girlfriend's doc Secret,
and that was posted on September thirtieth, twenty twenty five.
The TLDR is Op thirty Mail was ready to propose
to his girlfriend, twenty eight female when he got a
shocking Facebook message. She had been married before and had
a son who had tragically passed away, something she had
(52:00):
never told him. Opie felt betrayed, but when she finally
opened up about her past, he saw how much pain
she had been carrying. Now op has to decide if
he can move forward and marry the woman he loves
knowing the heartbreaking secret she kept hidden. And if you're
curious to know how the full story goes, you can
watch it on YouTube.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
I'm gonna go watch it because I don't know the
heartbreaking secret I do.
Speaker 2 (52:24):
I remember this story and it was a very intense.
Speaker 3 (52:28):
Oh like a Steinfeld episode, more intense than Seinfeld.
Speaker 2 (52:32):
Woo, all right, let's get these comments ready.
Speaker 4 (52:38):
We got some comments. Nana Pee eight twenty seven says
she was wanting a fresh start from the pain in
her past. Her personality that you love is part of
her hurt that formed her who she is today. You
can bring up what you know from that phone call
and tell her you love her and you're here for her,
and if she wants to talk, you're there for her
when she's ready.
Speaker 3 (52:58):
Yeah, that's smart, sounds good. I would definitely do that
because that's in the past and you're gonna have to
work on how to move forward with her during this.
So if you are ready to do that kind of
work with her, go for it.
Speaker 4 (53:10):
Cool Yellow Daisy Sunshine twenty forty eight says, omg, it's
not even seven am. I'm putting my kids on the bus,
enjoying the morning on the front porch and this I
have literally cried why. I can only imagine that poor
woman's heartbreak. When OPI said she couldn't stand to look
at Sam's brother because he looks so much like him,
(53:31):
my heart.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
Broke for her.
Speaker 5 (53:32):
Oh yeah, life is so hard.
Speaker 4 (53:35):
Be kind y'all. You never know what someone's facing.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
You never ever know, that's the thing. It's like, there
were so many assumptions about like why this was kept
hidden and all this stuff and blah blah, blah blah,
and like it's like, uh, you never want to really
jump to conclusions.
Speaker 4 (53:49):
Okay, And the last comment is djxx y. I don't
have to find out anything like that from someone is
going to be my partner. I understand about the kid part.
But a man after twenty twofold marriage and he finds
out she was married before. W TF If you think
I'm wrong, imagine if you the one find that information
(54:10):
after twenty years of marriage.
Speaker 3 (54:13):
That is a lot to digest. Actually, I would hope
that whoever I'm with wouldn't mind telling me the truth,
and even if it is heartbreaking, they just you know,
I trust you fully and that's a big part of
your past and I think it's a big part of
who we are. Not like super big, but like you.
Speaker 5 (54:29):
Know, if it's the truth you can't handle, it.
Speaker 3 (54:31):
Doesn't matter if I can handle it or not. You
gotta tell me that.
Speaker 5 (54:34):
Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 3 (54:35):
Yeah, but that's ane of those comments. So if you
love us, make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 5 (54:39):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (55:00):
Passsssssssssssssssss.
Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are
the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
But the thing is this foundation needs a little support
from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes we'll get
into the episode.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
My fiance is furious that I'm asking to celebrate our marriage.
How dare you? And there's a trigger warning here for
emotional and verbal abuse. My fiance twenty nine male, and
I twenty eight female, have been together for three years,
living together for two and a half. We had gotten
into a huge argument that blew up. He was tressing
out about the housing crisis, telling me that we need
(00:36):
to buy a house as soon as possible because he
predicts interest rates will keep on horizon. I told him
I agreed, However, I would like to be married before
buying a house with someone. By the way, this comes
from a deleted user and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Stortime Suburate.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I'm Dakota, I'm Riley Angie's boyfriend.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Then I'm Carly Keon's girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Thought we share a little bit more about ourselves.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Just turning out Dakota and I bother everybody, and this
is the show. We give you good advice, goofully. We try.
We don't know everything, okay, despite what it feels like,
we actually don't have all the answers. We only know
what we would do given any situation.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
So you.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
If you would do something else, just let us know
in the comments.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
And we'll read them personally, every single one of them.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Sometimes, as Op says, he said, we can't afford a
wedding plus a house right now, and ask me to
pick one or the other, putting or a house. I
mean it depends. Like, if it's like twenty nineteen, which one.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Are you picking?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Twenty nineteen? You know it's about twenty nineteen, know.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
What's about to happen in two years?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Well, if I know it's gonna happen in two years
in its twenty nineteen, then I can do all of
the gambling.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
No no, and I can win all of the gamble
only gambling thing house or we can put one hundred
pe trillion dollars on Okay, house, wedding, rams win the
super Bowl? Nope, wrong house or wedding. In this scenario,
which are you getting?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
PlayStation? It was pretty obvious which choice he wanted. I
made a compromise with him that I at least wanted
to be married on paper before we bought a house together,
and he ended up agreeing. He also said that after
the house, when we are more financially stable, we can
have a wedding then, which I was fine with.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Done, don't duh, get that on contract, get that on paper, and.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Get that recorded. Put that into the docket. The next day,
I had a change of heart and asked him if
he would be willing to go on a celebratory trip
together after signing our marriage papers as a way to
celebrate our marriage without a wedding. I don't know why,
but this set him off, and he started ranting about
how weddings are a waste of money, that this is
just pissing money away, and how stupid weddings are.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Oh, I think he just needed a co signer for
this house.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Why is he freaking out?
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Man?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Why you just want to be like, we're married, let's
do a thing. He's like, I literally hate this. I
don't want to be married. I think it's stupid and
you're dumb for wanting it as well, and I hate it.
Might be a little bit of a red flag. I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Oh yeah, he just wants you as a financial support
towards his dream house or his house he's gonna flip
into stumping mouse.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Who knows yep uh. I had to ask him multiple
times to please stop ranting that I got his point.
The next day we got into it again, but this
time it fully blew up. I asked him again if
he was willing to go on a less expensive trip
with me again to celebrate our marriage after signing the papers.
He would only be covering his portion and I would
(03:45):
pay for myself. I suggested a short road trip to
a small town near where we live. Again, this triggered him,
and he got very angry, to the point where we
started raising our voices at each other each time. I
felt like he didn't want to spend any money to
celebrate our marriage with me. I tried to compromise with
him and lowered the stakes. It ended with me saying
(04:07):
that I just wanted to do something beyond just signing
a few papers. I told him we could go out
for a nice dinner or even just buy me flowers.
I would be happy with that. I don't know why,
but this has made him very angry.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
This is where we stop compose ourselves, go for a
little walk and really think of the future ahead of us.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah, honestly, I think at this point I would compose
myself on a walk to the nearest divorce attorney's office.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
There's only one. You don't even need to do that
because you're not married yet. Yeah, exactly what house would
you go through with this? Like?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Where would what house? Would you go to?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Any? Any house? It could be the Hobbit house, It
could be any house.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Does the tartists from doctor who count as a house?
I would go to that one.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Okay, that's the one you would go for, Carly.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
I don't want to deal with this for any house.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Wow. Okay, well facts, if you have a house in mind,
put in the comments. I'm interested.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
He responded that I was asking for crumbs and that
I couldn't even accept that gesture. Wait what what he said?
He was making the financially smart decision to buy a
house and secure a decent future for our children one
day and accuse me of not trusting his decisions. Hey, dumb, dumb,
you can buy a dozen roses. It's not going to
(05:27):
impact your ability to buy a house, and if it does,
you can't buy a house.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Yeah, don't, don't buy a house because with the house,
isn't there like this thing ah shoot that covers it
in case something happens to it. What's that called?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
What insurance? Yeah? You have to yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
And then what's those pipes that go into it that
like give you pipes? Yeah yeah, but like it gives
you something at the other end of the water.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Yeah, and those It's almost like when you buy a
house that comes with bills that you have to buy exactly.
Yeah that stuff. Yeah, dude, No, I'm leaving this guy
that's crazy for our children one day.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Oh my god, Now he wants you to being a manufacturer.
Come on this.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I know this it might sound extreme to like leave
him for this, but like, this is one of those
moments that happens in a relationship where I feel like
you just fundamentally can't go back. Oh yeah, no, Like
you're talking about getting married and just getting a marriage
certificate and you didn't even get rose and getting flowers
going out to dinner.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Dude, you can get flowers for five bucks.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Crazy, get your girlfriend's flowers, Like short of like a
growth in your brain causing you to react this way,
there's no coming back, and we've had stories, but that's
been the thing I thought. It's like, oh my god,
my partner just changed their behavior out of nowhere. They're like,
I don't even recognize them, and it's yeah, because they
had a freakin tumor in their head.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
I thought a few of those today, but that wasn't
the case.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
I replied that we don't have children yet and we
should focus on making our relationship work right now. He
ended the conversation by telling me to f off and
get out of my face. All right, I'll do that,
I'm leaving. I was so stunned that I didn't move
the first time he said it. I want to add
that I try very hard to never yell, insults, curse,
(07:04):
or negatively label him when we argue. I believe the
purpose of an argument is to try to understand each
other's point of view. The worst thing I'll do is
raise my voice. After he screamed in my face, I
left the house and went to my girlfriends. Then I
saw a text from him telling me that I might
as well pawn the engagement ring because he wouldn't tolerate
this level of disrespect for leaving the house without a
(07:28):
word of where I was going. He did not ask
me where I was going. Thank God, you have not
bought a house or gotten married to this guy. Now
you have the perfect way to get out.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Has anything like this happened before?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Ope?
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Did this all of a sudden just now happen. There's
had to be something.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
There has to have been. There's no way this came
out of nowhere. There's no way this is not the
first time something like this has happened. A few months
a few months ago, I expressed to him I was
upset he had nothing planned for my birthday, and again
he blew up in my face.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Dude, Okay, I think you were just a financial support
for his plan.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Like what, this is crazy. Your man's got a little
tiny man energy, little tiny man yelling at you because
he forgot your birthday. He's crazy.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Dakota's favorite.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
It's a little one inch mane.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
This man has the self worth of a little one
inch man. Okay. He called me an effing psycho and
said that he wasn't going to change. He told me
if I didn't like it, I could f off. I
ended up leaving the house again that night and sleeping
over at my friend's house. We ended up making up
and he apologized profusely and did end up planning something
(08:50):
for my birthday. No, he planned something that happened after
your birthday. Yeah, after he felt guilty does not count.
He told you to go f yourself and to leave
if and he's never gonna change.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
And if you don't start listening to your best friend
that you're staying at house, that best friend's like, girl.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
M dude, not gonna lie. Like going back to like
a guy like who's so clearly liked to someone you
should leave over and over again is a great way
to lose all of your friends. They will stop tolerating
your nonsense. So blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
We made up back and made them something for my birthday. Bat.
We just talked this morning, and he's extremely hurt that
I moved my stuff out and slept in my parents'
(09:29):
house last night. We're not officially broken up yet, but
I have a feeling that's where this is headed because
of me. Oh my god, get out so bad, you're brainwashed,
Get out. Run This is him, This is because of
his decisions and his actions. You're like I demanded, like
the shred of positive energy, you know, when we're getting married,
(09:50):
And he said no and yelled at me and told
me to go f myself and f off. He said
he's not willing to do therapy because he thinks it's
a waste of time. Did I do the right thing?
Was this relationship? Salvagable?
Speaker 3 (10:01):
No?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I would appreciate hearing any stories similar to mine. And
there are some comments.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Ope, you have come to read it and you have
given your situation. You get all the passes on this
one because you didn't know if the next update is
not I am breaking up with him. You have failed us.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
All, truly, none more than yourself.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
And these comments are about to put you in your place.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Please be nice to her, though, Please I hope been
nice to you in the comments. Please. Okay, we've got
comment number one. Your relationship is not ending because of you.
It is ending because your fiance had an absolutely irrational, hurtful,
and unacceptable reaction to you asking for something totally reasonable,
(10:44):
and he refuses to work on himself. Loving someone doesn't
mean you let them treat you however they want. Also,
this kind of behavior tends to escalate after marriage and
or pregnancy. If he had come back after self reflecting,
had sincerely apologized and gotten into therapy before you move
back in, then maybe there would be something salvageable here.
If he's not willing to compromise, work on himself, or
(11:06):
treat you with basic respect, then there is nothing to save.
Marriage is an agreement to learn and grow together, and
he's not interested in that. Think about what you would
say to someone you loved if their partner was treating
them this way. This is not your fault, it's one
hundred percent is A second comment says, why would you
want it to be salvageable? This guy has huge anger problems.
(11:28):
Your life would be a nightmare with him. A reply says,
I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't able to buy
a house.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
On his own.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Yup, the co signer theory coming around, so he's trying
to get ope to subsidize the purchase before she realizes
how toxic he is. That's why he's so insistent that
they do it now and refusing to spend money on
anything else. Comment three says, I have been married for
forty five years and the number of times my husband
(11:55):
has screamed at me is zero. You deserve a man
who respects you and is kind to you. It is
difficult to think of leaving a relationship because you think
to yourself, it's not that bad, but it really really is.
Once you're out of the relationship and over the initial emotions,
you will realize that life is better without an emotionally
(12:15):
harmful partner. I wish you all the best, dude.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
I wish I could say that. What I haven't yelled
at my friend.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
No, not Angie, not Angie. No, yelled that she's amazing.
Get out of my butt, Stop talking my butt. I've
had a moment of silence for Riley's butt.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
How else was supposed to stop her?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
All right, there's an update, hyas sah, we broke up.
I initially considered dating him again. Dude, Oh me, why
are you here?
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Didn't you just did you read zero comments?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I initially considered dating him again while still continuing to
live apart. At first, he was very apologetic, calling me
a few times every day telling me how sorry he was.
The Next day, he sent a string of texts where
he promised to change many specific things about himself to
repair our relationship. This all changed once I told him
I wasn't going to immediately move back in. Each time
(13:17):
he phoned me, I typed out what he said in
my notes app. He told me that day he didn't
say f off or get out of my face. He said,
get away from me. Oh whatever, So he's lying, whatever,
Just it's okay, leave him. He asked why I always
misremember things and remember him in the worst way possible,
because he is the worst, and I'm so glad that
(13:39):
you are breaking up with him. He claimed that nothing
he did was ever enough for me and that I
didn't love him anymore, and said that when he calls
me names, he's not calling me that, but saying that
I am behaving a certain way. He said the points
I was making were stupid and that I was being crazy, illogical,
showing my true colors, acting like a victim, delusional, selfish,
taking advantage of him, manipulating him in lying.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
You can tell that this guy clearly does not respect
her as a woman or as a partner whatsoever, because
like he's freaking out that you're not moving in. Huh.
I wonder why, because you're probably the bread winner as well,
and he probably won't be able to afford living by itself.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
He comes back for like two days, being like, oh,
I'm sorry, I'll changelah blah blah blah, and then immediately,
as soon as he doesn't get exactly what he wants,
flips the script a dozo one to eighty. And it's like, like,
I just don't know. She's so pathetic, such a pathetic
little baby. So oh, he continues, he didn't believe me
when I said I wasn't doing any of those things.
(14:39):
But we do have a little bit more story left.
I think we're all just glad.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
And I saw someone say they've been in the situation
and they'll never go back. Yeah, And like you probably
don't know what it looks like until you've been through it.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yeah, it's hard to see it from the inside. It's
like if you know you're a fish, what does water
look like? It's like you can't tell it's there. It's there.
We've seen the same clip, haven't we. Yeah, so it's
it's just one of those things. It's hard to see. Uh,
but once you do, you gotta get out. Anyway, let's
finish this story. When I asked him to stop speaking
(15:13):
to me in a demeaning way. He said I deserved it.
He stinks. He insisted that he was just calling it
like he saw it. He questioned why I was painting
him as a piece of crap, because he is. I
told him I was just explaining why I was upset,
and asked what he wanted me to do. He said
I should speak nicer to him. Heybody wanted to take
your own advice? Uh, this guy's crazy.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
He literally listed off so many things to you, and
you're just supposed to sit there and take it like so.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Sam, Yeah, right, what's up?
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I got a little game. Yeah, I bought three special
gifts for me to.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Secret. He's one has a memory tied to it. It's
a good one, I would hope. Well, I want to
you guys because you guys like this has been working
so hard.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yeah, Sammy, Okay, I got a small but mighty package
here that I'm going to open.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
What I approve of this? Okay? It's a cassette player?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Whoa Okay, So I mean this is old technology here,
which I think means goes to our oldest member on
the podcast on status Dakota.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yeah, yeah, is that right?
Speaker 4 (16:23):
Right?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Right? You got a right I am the uncler. No,
you just mentioned like you have a bunch of accepts
with your mom.
Speaker 6 (16:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
No, I have all these cassettes that I can't play
from my child. A lot of them are just Ricky
Martin cassette taps, and now I will be able to
listen to them. Which is where you gonna listen to
the Cassette's probably in my room while I dance. And
there's also a radio in here. Every time I go
like hiking, always forget to download my music onto my phone.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Come on, So what's the next.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Thing we got anything?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yeah, Dakota, if you want to guess, right, there is
a gift at my feet. Now it is in my hands.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Whoa, I feel like it's got to be our resident
gamer key is.
Speaker 7 (16:59):
The Wrecked Angle of childhood supportable game console. I used
to have this as a kid, This game console I
used to play all the time. And you know when
your mom came into the room when you're a kid
and like you're pretending to escape. Yeah, this guy was
definitely under the This was under the under the pillow, right,
heart pounding.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
So but Riley, what what a thoughtful gift?
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (17:24):
Right, But we have one more gift.
Speaker 7 (17:30):
Hey, it's not about the size that what's inside about
to find out.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Camera, an old timey camera classic. This is awesome.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah, because you know how I love to take pictures
on my travels. Yeah, you're always somewhere, whether it's in
Kyrgyzstan with some nomad, were just New York, you know,
with a nice little piece of trash.
Speaker 7 (17:53):
Or a rat taking pictures with the birds.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
So Riley, you got all this from eBay, Dude.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
EBay, it was really fun finding it with you guys,
like I had very specific things for each one of you.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Yeah, it was all there. Thanks Riley, and thank you eBay.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
And guys shop eBay for millions of fines each with
a story ebe Thanks people love.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
I asked why I should have to mince my words,
explaining I was telling him exactly what he said and
why I left. He said it was about how I
think of him, not about his actions before he screamed
in my face. Initially, he had told me he couldn't
explain things to someone who doesn't work, who's never had
to deal with money, or who's never had to allocate funds.
He said, if we were a part for too long,
(18:36):
he's not going to love me anymore, and then I
had to move back in or he will stop loving
me and move on, though he claimed he still loved
me at that moment. Thank you to everyone who commented
on my original post and recommended the Lundie Bancroft book.
It has confirmed everything I was thinking, and that is
the end of that story. And let me just say,
(18:58):
it horrifies me that guys like this just walk around.
I know, right, we might be like next to them
in line at the store, like truly horrific.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
This is insanity.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
It doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
I feel like people like this need to go to
the military or something and learn how to respect women more.
I don't know, bow down to your queen ten times,
give me ten bows.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
I do feel that the military is not the place
for that.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Okay, we've revamped the military in order to make it
place for that.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Definitely the direction the military is going in now, are
you're gonna respect more women?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Yes, that's wherever going I wish. But a military where
it is that, where they let go and.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
They Riley's new military where they just respect the heck
out of women boom.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
I really do think we should have a new military
where they just bow down to my girlfriend, your girlfriend,
and then she has an army.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Just be okay with that. A bunch of dudes being
near that, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Dude, what she could just be like you go and
he'd be liked. But we got the next story coming up.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Guys. I received a phone call saying my boyfriend is
already engaged to someone else.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Well, uh, that the operator. I think you guy, your
numbers mixed up. Yeah, my boyfriend is from Zimbabwe. That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
And when he was sixteen and she was thirteen, he
was betrothed to marry a girl from the town he
grew up in. He has only met her a handful
of times since then. He has gone overseas to study,
which is where he met me. By the way, this
comes from Oh no, oh my. If younis me your
old stories, go to the r slash okay story jump
sub reddit.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
I'm Riley, he's and she's boyfriend. I'm Dakota he has
a girlfriend, and.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
I'm Carly Kean's girlfriend. I almost said Kean's boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
No, that's me.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Yeah, dude, that's us actually, And we're here to give
good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers,
but I think you might, so let us know your
comments down below. Ann o'peake says, I'm devoted to him.
He's the best and kindest man I've ever met. We
make each other very happy. I'm starting to worry about
him becoming depressed because of the impossible expectations his family
(21:12):
have of him to study, get married, send money back home,
and look after his younger sibling. Ooh. I've come to
accept that I will almost certainly have to let him
go to marry this other woman. But I'm having a
hard time working out how I can support him and
make him happy and, if I'm honest, encourage him to
stay with me.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
WHOA. None of that is necessarily what you have to
do or should do. Certainly, this is a cultural difference
that I can't really speak to. Although I once dated
somebody who was in an arranged marriage in high school
and guess what, they didn't want to do it? Oh,
and they didn't. I don't know. It's complicated, but I
(21:56):
think at the end of the day, it's like not
something that has to be done and not something that
you have to just like be like, okay, well, this
is now my life and I'm just gonna have to
deal with this and figure out how to subtly convince
him to want to stay with me instead. And it's like,
I think, this is just wow. You're gonna pick an
arranged marriage over me? Then I'm that's not for me.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Then I just wanted to ask Reddit if anyone has
a similar experience with an inner cultural relationship? Do I
have a hope? And heck? And edit pretty amazed by
how many people have replied, I'm still reading everything. Also,
does anyone know where I can buy a sword? Boom?
I have two? All right?
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Edit?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
I've been asked to put our ages in the original post.
I'm twenty three. He's twenty sixty seven, also has a
permanent visa, and is not from a royal village. He
grew up in a middle class mining town where his
father is an engineer. Comment her, you need to have
an honest heart to heart with this man. You need
to tell him your fears and your expectations for your relationship.
(22:56):
If he's going to leave for her, then you too
need to separate now instead of dragging it on. If
he is going to be with you, that he needs
to talk with his family and let them know that
you were his love and to cut the crap. Good
love friend, hope, He says. We've had so many of
these discussions and tried several times to separate. It's become
clear that while the two of us still care for
(23:19):
each other, cutting ties just doesn't work. I don't know
how to assert my expectations because I don't really have
any other than he is good and loyal to me. No,
he's not arranged marriage. It's hard to know who he's
being disloyal to.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
What are you taught? I'm sorry, but you saying cutting
ties doesn't work because he's so loyal to me. No,
he's not. He's gonna go into an arranged marriage with
somebody from his town that he's met a handful of times.
I get it that it's a cultural difference, but it's like,
if he's truly like unwilling to you know what, be
(23:55):
like you know what, I'm shirking that I don't care.
I know it's going to be an issue with my family,
but like you are my wife, I want to marry you.
If he can't do that, then this is not the
relationship for you.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Yeah, agreed. A little bit more context to the situation.
He told me about his arranged marriage about one and
a half years into our relationship. It took me another
six months to fully understand what he was telling me,
and since I've been struggling with the moral implications as
well as the practical side of being in a relationship
that isn't likely to be approved by its family, we
(24:30):
were unsuccessful in breaking up because there was never a
moment where we questioned whether we were happy together. Separations
seem like the logical thing to do to avoid further pain,
but it felt as far as I am being dishonest
with his family, Well, you may be right, but I
don't think it's that simple. I don't fully understand the culture,
(24:51):
but it's nothing like what I grew up with. The
best way I can describe it is that it seems
similar to family dynamics in the fifties, where the dad
is the head of the household and doesn't have a
very emotional connection with kids. The mom is someone who
worries about him and he feels he has to protect
and his older brothers are like, why is I father
(25:12):
figures while he has responsibilities for his younger brothers, I mean,
don't want him not to have a relationship with his family,
But does he know what no contact is.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
He's clearly not going to go no contact with his family.
And if you do stay in a relationship and it
does ruin his connections with his family, he's probably gonna
present you for it and blame you for it. Yeah,
regret that they did that. He did this, and today
this was all a big mistake. So the thing you
need to do is walk away from this. Don't tell
me you don't know how to do that, or call
(25:44):
the girl and be like, yo, still want to go
through this?
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Yeah, I'm going to op, explains to another commenter, When
I said it took six months, what I was trying
to imply that it took me six months to really
understand the gravity of the situation and to really understand
that there's strong possibility that love will not conquer all
in our case.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Yeah, what do you mean a strong He's telling you
that he's going to get married to this other person
and that there's nothing to be done about it because
it's what his family expects. So he's telling you that, Yeah,
there's relationships on life support and one day the plug's
gonna get pulled.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Yeah, In college. I was on and off again with well,
we kind of broke up, got back together, kind of
broke up, got back together, and my other relationship his
parents didn't really approve me and we should have just
walked away at the first one. And it's hard because
it's just like, I love you so much. I think
we're great together. The only reason we're not together is
because of my parents. It's easy to come like they're
not breaking up because they have beef with each other.
(26:39):
They're breaking up because of the circumstances. Since why they
get back together so easily. I feel like.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
He's got to be the one then to be like
I'm pulling the plug because this is something that like
I knew that I had to do this whole time,
and it's affecting you that, like I'm also caving to
date you again. He's just got to be like, Okay,
I gotta do the tough thing now.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I'm worried. Op he's just being ideal, realistic, and that
this guy is being like I mean, yeah, I don't
have to feel guilty. Why would I feel guilty. I
told you that this was the situation, so I don't
have to end anything. I'm not being tortured about it
because I already know I'm getting married. I'm worried that
that's what's happening. I hope it's not, but I'm worried
that's what it is.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Yeah, we have another update. Two months later. He decided
he has no choice but to marry the girl he's
betrothed to. He hopes we can remain friends and keep
in touch. He will be going back home to marry
her in September, after which he will return here with
his new bride start married life together. The good news
is that they will be living in the same suburb
(27:38):
as me, so the chances of me bumping into them
are high. No clarified in the comments, this is sarcasm.
How shall I move on and avoid spending the next
year sitting in the dark drinking gin Get a hobby,
meet new people.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
I think you really do need to reanalyze this relationship.
You dated him for a year and a half before
he told you about this, then it kind of didn't
sync in for another six months, so you've been together
for two years at the point where you realized, oh,
this is like serious, this is a real thing. I
don't know if this was necessarily the fairy tale love
conquers all situation being stifled by you know, family tradition
(28:17):
that you might think it is. And I think reframing
it in that way would definitely help you move on,
because now you're not imagining like you've lost like the
love of your life in this fairy tale situation, and
it's like a divine tragedy, Like it's really just like
a guy kind of strung yell along.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Yeah, can you ask him, for the sake of his
feelings for you to move to a different suburb. It's
not going to matter to the new girl where she lives,
so he at least should do one less thing right
by you. The reason he's moving to the area is
to finish his masters. The college he wants to go
to happens to be about five minutes away from my house,
and the city I live in isn't all that big.
(28:56):
Another commenter says, just talk about it with someone, you
can share this. I tried dealing with it by myself
when my girlfriend of seven years left me when I
found out she had been cheating on me. I thought
I was over her, and so when I tried to
date someone again a year later, I realized I was
still left up. Thankfully, I ended up dating a girl
(29:16):
who my best friend, and I could talk about everything
with her. Now I feel great, probably the best I've
ever felt. But who says thanks, shall try to do
the same. But tell me, do you feel embarrassed to
talk to your friends about your situation? The reason I
asked is because I feel ashamed about the whole thing.
And even though I don't believe my friends would judge
me fre like an idiot for believing things might work out,
(29:40):
the idea of discussing that idiocracy anyone else who knows
me is really repellent. At the moment. You're in love
when you're.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Young, sometimes you gotta eat the l You just gotta
eat it go and then just swallow it and it's gone.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
It's like lizard leather.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
You ate that l that leather, lizard l Well.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Same commenter. Honestly could not talk about this with any
of my friends. I really only have male friends. It
wasn't until I became friends with this other girl who
was going through a breakup too, that I could finally
talk about the things that bothered me. And I felt
a little embarrassed talking about it. But when I realized
she wouldn't judge me. I was able to open up.
You just need to find someone that you are comfortable
(30:21):
sharing with, hope, He says, Thanks sound advice. I've started
at a new university, so at least the chances of
meeting new people are pretty good. It would have been
a shame if my only option would siddle up people
at the bus stop. Another commenter, how do people do this?
How do you leave someone you shared your life with
for three years? How could you marry someone you don't
(30:41):
even know? How do you make it work with someone
of a completely different upbringing assuming he grew up in
North America and her in Zimbabwe. Who's that scared of
their parents that they are willing to throw it all
away to please them? Please? These stories shock me always.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Yeah. Culture difference, different cultures, different expectation.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Yeah, my culture is if I don't, you know, give
my first born son to go to the work of
the saw mill for a summer, I have ashamed of
my family. During that Boy's Collar Blue, I ask him
very similar questions and the answers were all of the
lines of I have to choose between you and my
entire family. If I stayed with you, they would be
humiliated and would never fully accept you. Also, any misfortunes
(31:23):
that we my experience in the future, you know, a
baby passing will be attributed to the fact that I
betrayed my family and you are a heathen and this
is our punishment from God.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Honestly, that's like the most heathen belief you could probably have.
That a bad thing that happens to you is you
being smited by God because you didn't listen to your parents. Okay, sure.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
He has spoken to her a few times and can
only hope for the best. She comes from a good
Christian family and has been trained since she was young
to be a good wife. He said that he will
regret it for the rest of his life if he
can't find happiness with her, but this is the decision
he has to make. Another one. He only came here
to study a few years ago when he was in
(32:06):
his early twenties, so they have had similar upbringings, the
major difference being that he has experienced years in a
totally different secular culture and can see the value of it.
She has never left her hometown except for short stays
with relatives in other cities. She still has her V card, etc. Etc.
It's not that he's scared of them, is that he
(32:27):
feels guilty because he feels that he's bringing them. Also,
this goes beyond his parents to his extended family, and
family is very important to him culturally. The prospect of
not having his family is more or less unthinkable for him.
I don't know if I feel more sorry for him
or myself. I guess it's probably me because of Disney what.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
But look the way that Disney love It's like everyone loveful,
triumph everything.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
The whole way that this guy's been moving. It's like
he knew he had this arranged marriage thing. Clearly he
was never ever intending on not fulfilling it. And he
is in a different country and a different culture, and
he knows that anything with you cannot be long term
because his family won't accept you, and he puts his
(33:17):
family family's approval above everything else. So he literally just
ran around with you like, oh, this is just a
little toy. This is just a little phase of my
life where I get to play around with her, and
then I put her back on the shelf and I
go marry my arranged marriage wife and find happiness with her. Yeah,
I'd be like, go find happiness with your wife. I
(33:37):
hope you have a miserable time.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Reminds me of I'm watching a lot of Game of
Throns right now. This reminds you of pro whenever. Yeah,
he married one girl, and he should have did the
arranged marriage. You come in her. The fact that he
felt the need to go mention that she has been
trained to be a good wife is a kind of
indication of the respect he might have had for you
if you ended up marrying him. He says, that was
me paraphrasing, perhaps slightly bitterly, not a direct quote. He
(34:03):
was saying that she has had a sheltered upbringing, is
very religious as whiting for the day she gets married
for her whole life. I mean same, I've been waiting
for that since I was five, then trained to be
married and praying trained.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
To be wed.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
Yeah, you didn't say in a condescending she's a good
little woman way, or even say that those qualities are
universally valued by the standards of his hometown. However, she
is a good hand.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
I don't know what's going on here, girl, get yourself
worth up off the floor. Man, it's down bad, and
this guy's hot. Honestly, this guy's hot. I was actually
gonna give op a little bit of grief because after
you've realized the seriousness of this that you should have
immediately walked away as soon as he was like, oh, yeah,
well you know this, I'm gonna get married and then
we can't do this anymore. As soon as that like
(34:52):
sank in all the way, you should have walked off,
and you should have been like, why would you do this?
Like why would you create like this thing with me
and have this bond in this relationship where I can
see a future with us, and then you pull this
a year and a half afterwards, like you're pathetic, your liar,
you deceived me. Lose my number, lose my info. That's
where you should be at.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Honestly, he knows what he has to do. Ope on moving.
The wedding is overseas, so thankfully mutual friends attending is
not an issue. I can't move at the moment, though
I've gotten a two year release. More importantly, I've just
started a course that I love, and my UNI offers
one of the best programs available in my field. I
can't sacrifice that at the moment, because really a major
(35:33):
reason that I haven't locked myself in my room with
stack of DVDs and several cases of wine. Poor op
this is before the internet, to a longer comment saying
she's not mad enough, he didn't fight it, and she
should move. Just a couple of things to clear up.
I've explained above why I don't want to move. I
have rental and university commitments that are very important and positive. Respectfully,
(35:56):
he did tell his parents about me, he said. The
extent of their response is don't even think about it.
Apparently a few words were spoken, but they have made
themselves very clear. Whether this can be considering fighting for
the relationship, I'm still unsure. I don't know. For him
to even bring it up with his parents was a
big deal for him. When he told me about it,
(36:17):
he seemed upset with himself. He said something like it
was a short conversation that they cut off almost immediately.
I may live to regret that I did not have
the balls to say more.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
I'm not mad.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
To be real, I don't even think this woman is
a thing. I don't think this woman is a real thing.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Yeah, I don't know. It's like oh, you mean the
more that you could say today or tomorrow or immediately
like oh I wish oh, they shut down the conversation.
I might regret it the rest of my life that
I didn't say more. WHOA, Well, you could fix that immediately, actually,
but you won't because you just want to say what
makes you sound like you gave it your best shot.
(36:58):
It's just crazy, dude, wild I hope that you come
out from under this spell that this guy had you on.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Sam.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Here, we're gonna get back to the stories, but here's
three of it's bads from our sponsors.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
I'm not mad because I can see that he isn't
happy and that he feels strapped. I still care for him.
I can't bring myself to write him off just because
I don't get what I want. I can see why
you imagine him to be innipotive, but I think this
is just one of those things in life that suck
for all who is involved. Was a future wife. The
person who called you, Opie says. The idea of the
(37:30):
caller remains a mystery. The call seems to come from
inside the country, which would indicate that it wasn't her.
I'll never know because understandably, he doesn't want his future
wife to know about us. Wonder why asking her if
she made the phone call would be fruitless if it
was her, and devastating if it wasn't. In any case,
I get another call, I'll politely insist that they identified
(37:53):
themselves properly. Least I asked the police to identify them.
Shan't be harassed. And about keeping in touch with her
lover A pardon me wants to think that we will
keep in touch and try to look out for each
other from distance. The danger is that I think I'll
always feel that he's really mine and that I'll have
more legitimate claim to him than his wife. That's why
(38:15):
we need to stay away from each other, especially in
the first couple of years. It wouldn't be fair to anyone. Dude,
do not be near him if he's like freaking married.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Don't be near him ever. Again. Leave this guy in
the past. And again, I just feel like this guy's
lying to you. You're like he's upset. It's like you
can fake that very simply. You just gotta go, oh, baby,
I'm oh. I just don't want to do like and
I don't know you sound a little GULLI blow pee.
I'm not gonna lie, so he probably wouldn't take that
much to fool you. Yeah, hey, I'm just calling out.
(38:43):
I see it. I hope. I wish nothing but the
best for you. But man, well she did say Disney.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
I mean, I had a fairy tale Disney aspect about
love with my ex and then that all crumbled.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
I was like, oh, yeah, you've got to be pretty
tolerant to be told he has an arranged marriage. And
still it takes six months for that to sink in.
Like you don't immediately go, hey, what did you just say?
Like arranged? How like you're gonna marry it like you were,
or you are going to marry this person? How did
we not get to the bottom of that immediately as
(39:17):
soon as it was spoken out loud.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
Where op is and whether they will live their long
term not in the US, in Australia and no, she
will come here while he finishes his masters, then they
will go back to Africa.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Update two, Nice.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
No mate, naar gnra mate. Okay, So update two we
still see each other a couple of days a week. Dude,
She's all right, she's digmatized. Nah, he does shift work.
So that minimizes our opportunities for spending too much time together.
We've agreed to make the most of her time together
(39:54):
before September. That is not fair to you, That is
not fair to his future wife. He's just using.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
You human torch because I'm flaming right now.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
I'm sure people will criticize me for it, but we've
tried to separate completely. It makes us both miserable.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Oh no, I have zero sympathy for you at this point.
I'm sorry, but I'm not.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
It's going to suck when the time comes to properly
say goodbye. It's nice to have sound sleep snuggled up
to someone.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
I was in a situation with my ex.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
I know to keep bringing her up, but she was
gonna leave in a month to go to Atlanta. But
we still like spend as much time together as we could,
knowing we probably weren't gonna make it.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
Well, that's yeah, I mean, that's it's different. That's different.
She's not going to Atlanta to marry somebody that she
has been planning to marry for I don't know her
whole life.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
She ended up did doing that a year later?
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Wasn't the plan though? Maybe no Betrothal. Yeah, I don't
know that's different. That really is like what op He's
kind of thing. I was just like, oh, circumstance, this
is are you know, forcing us apart? You're going to Atlanta?
I mean not whatever either call would be correct. It's
like you can either spend that time together, you can
be like, I don't want this to hurt more than
it's already going to. So I think we should just
(41:13):
if we know this is what's happening, we should just
call it right now cause I don't want to, you know,
I don't want you to play with my part.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
Okay. Update three nine years later, editors know I included
this to show Opie's life did move on. I have
my phone in silent because a baby is sleeping on me,
even without sound. I woke the babe from silently shaking
with laughter. Worth it and to a commenter, I sure
do miss babies, Opie says, yep. Never used to get it,
but I can say, hand on my heart now. Best
(41:41):
thing ever did editors No, Ope hasn't been active since
twenty twenty one. Oh she's doing really well. Editor's note two.
I couldn't find the context for the comment, but Opie
initially clarified Dex wasn't planning on living in Australia forever.
That could have changed, but here is the comment. His
big plan is he wants to start a farm with
his best friend in Zimbabwe, in Zambia. Who know, trouble,
(42:06):
I'm justlexic. It's fine.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
You just say you saw z and you swung.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
No, I just pronounced it wrong rather than going back
to zim Babe. It's the worst I know. Oh my god.
I recently went overseas with him to meet his best
friend and his best friend's fiance, who both are white
South Africans. We all get along beautifully.
Speaker 6 (42:33):
What that's the worst thing I've ever heard. You're still
going on trips with him to Africa when he's getting
married to what. I hope you've moved on.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
I hope you move on. A lot edde.
Speaker 5 (42:53):
Lot of.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
A fever dream right there? A little crazy, But guys,
we got another store.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Are you coming up right now? My fiance gambelled my
grandmother's wedding ring.
Speaker 3 (43:05):
Did he double his money?
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Oh? This is from the Okay storytime subreddit. It's one
of you. I'm so sorry, so oh god. I twenty
four female. I've been with my boyfriend now fiance, twenty
six male for three years. Yes, he's wonderful in a
lot of ways, kind, attentive, makes me laugh, great with money.
(43:29):
We've been talking about marriage seriously, and I knew a
proposal was coming because my mom accidentally let it slip
that he asked her about my grandmother's ring. Dude, this
is actually a good way to gamble.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
I didn't even think about this.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Explain yourself, Okay.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
I go to Angel, Yeah, and I'm like, hey, getting
pretty serious about your daughter. Do you guys like have
like a ring in your family that you guys passed down?
Speaker 2 (43:55):
This is truly the best way to gamble. The long
con you get in a long term, real relationship with somebody,
the point where you make your family think you're serious
about marriage, you steal their.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
Air own ring. No no, no, no, no, and turn it
into you don't hear playing with heirloom rings. Okay, now
you're getting to the end of moore plan. You pawn
it knowing like you can buy it back. Oh okay,
and then you go if it's a lock, you have
to make sure it's a lock. Lock double money and
you can get two heirloom rings, right, it's better than
one two. And then you take those two heirloom rings.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Oh now, cook, and now you got four rings. You
do that enough, you can start your own ring shop.
It's a family heirloom, a delicate Art Deco diamond band
that has been passed down for three generations. My mom
gave it to him to hold on to until he proposed.
By the way, this comes from User Aware issue twenty
two thirty nine, so at least you're aware of the issue.
(44:48):
And if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay storytime separate where this story
was submitted.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, the one that can't read.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
I'm wearing glasses too hot. But I'm Carly and we're
here to give you good advice. Googly, But we don't
have all the answers. We only know what we would do,
So if you would do something different, let us know
in the comments, and Op says. Fast forward to last
weekend in July. He goes out with his buddies for
poker night. Nothing unusual. Oh my god, he gambled it up.
(45:21):
Just a poker game.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
Dude, he's practicing stopt Oh no, but he came home
late and I noticed something shiny in his pocket when
he threw his jeans in the hamper.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
I pulled it out into my absolute shock. It was
my grandmother's ring.
Speaker 3 (45:38):
Yeah, he's probably waiting to propose.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
I confronted him right there because yeah, because what are
you doing just carrying around the heirloom ring? That's crazy
in his pocket? Where else is it supposed to be
somewhere safe? But if you have the.
Speaker 3 (45:53):
Ring you're waiting for, if I'm bindering, I'm keeping it
in my pocket until it's.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Not my thoughts. That's crazy. What that's crazy?
Speaker 3 (46:00):
It's not an DC every day carry No, that should
stay safe.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
Pie, you know you're proposing. What if I'm like, because also,
who just goes you're just gonna Oh, I feel like
I'm gonna propose right now. I guess I'll put that's
how it happens. That's not how it happens. It's something
you should plan. You're not gonna babe me. Hey, y'all,
it's John og Host here. We're gonna get back to
the story. But here's a quick three minute break from
ask for more sponsors. So and he admitted he's been
bringing it to poker nights for luck. He said it
(46:28):
started as a joke. His friend called it the engagement talisman,
but then he swore it actually helped him win. He
promised he never bet it, just kept it in his pocket.
We were able to work it out over a few weeks,
and he promised he wouldn't do it again. He even
stopped going to poker weekly and now only goes once
a month. About a month or so after this, he
(46:50):
finally proposed with my grandmother's ring and I said, yes,
okay ooh you didn't try.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
Okay, I bet you. He still wants to ring on
Thursday nights though.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
Then came our engagement party. Oh boy, he's gonna gamble it.
Speaker 5 (47:03):
After he's proposed.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
We are celebrating. Everything's perfect until one of his friends
makes a joke about how my fiance almost had to
propose with a crackerjack ring and I froze when I
pressed him. Later, my fiance admitted that months ago he
actually did gamble the ring and lost it. He only
(47:28):
got it back after weeks of playing until he won
it back. Woo.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
What what do you call the people that play pool
to get money? And they like, what do you call
that a hustler? Yeah, he had a hustle for your
getting the ring back.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Okay, I'm gonna say this, Kian. If this is a
good the Boys Boys poker night and someone's gambles the
engagement ring and loses it, we are not taking that.
We are immediately giving him the most crap he has
ever had in life.
Speaker 5 (48:00):
Giving you three warnings. I'm telling you get three strikes
if you keep putting it on the table, saying I
want to keep going.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
I'm taking I'm taking that ring three strikes, and then
you're what I mean, then you're engaged to keon. I'm
gonna need a grand I'm gonna need something. You're gonna
have to win it back.
Speaker 5 (48:18):
You're messing up the fact that I've worn you three
times to not put that ring on the table, and
I'm your friend and I love you, and you say
I gotta keep going. I got to Chase. I'm like,
you had a problem, brother, but let's play this game.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
I would like to think your friends would never let
you actually lose that ring forever. I don't, but I
don't like that the heirloom ring was just with another
person who's not related to it. I could have also
lost it because they're carrying it around in their pocket.
Speaker 5 (48:45):
You see, gambling with that. He has a gamble and.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
That's yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think they no
one there probably even realizes the value of it. But anyway, okay,
so not only did he risk my grandmother's heirloom, but
he lied to me when I could rented it. You
let me believe we had worked through it, when really
he was hiding the worst part of the story the
entire time. Now I feel like the proposal itself is
(49:08):
tainted because all I can think about is how that
ring was sitting on someone else's poker table.
Speaker 3 (49:13):
This is why we don't keep engagement rings in our pockets, Riley.
So now this gives me another reason.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
My read on this is that this was a bit
that went out of control and got out of hand.
Nobody in the group should have entertained this, should have
entertained this. No one should have been taking the ring.
I don't know. I'm sure that if the ring was
at some point the ring would have been got meg
whoever had that ring. I think the biggest thing is
(49:39):
the disrespect of allowing it to even leave your person.
But whoever had that ring, if he went in and
goes like I'm proposing to her, like I need that
ring back, I'm sure they would have given it back.
But I think it's more now at this point the
principle of you were lied to and you were deceived,
and that he would even do something to treat the
ring with such flip and sea, I think, yeah, it's like, well,
(50:00):
and now that the whole proposals tainted because it's like,
what if you wanted to propose before, you couldn't because
you had to get it back. And also you're treating
it like it's just like a poker chip, which then
how much does it really mean to you that you're
proposing to me with this ring if you were willing
to gamble it. So, yeah, it does really mess a
lot of stuff up. It does complicate things.
Speaker 4 (50:17):
He put that in his pocket knowing he was putting
that on the table, There's no way he didn't.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
I would give an ultimatum, no more gambling or we're done,
and then i'd also talk to all his friends. If
you guys tell me he's gambling, I'll give you fifty
bucks on the spot and a hundred bucks if you
can tell me before we get married, and a thousands.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Anyway, we have a little bit more story left. Obi says,
right now, I've gone to stay with my mom for
a bit. I gave you the ring back because I
don't feel comfortable wearing it anymore. And I told my
fiance that if he still wants to marry me, he
needs to propose again with a different ring or it's over.
He says, I'm being dramatic and ruining a good thing
over one mistake.
Speaker 6 (50:57):
Ugh.
Speaker 2 (50:57):
Nah, but I can't shake the feeling that this was
more than just a mistake. It was reckless, disrespectful, and dishonest.
So am I overreacting by making him get a different ring?
Or is this a fair boundary after what he did? Yeah? No,
I think that is fair. This is exactly like I said.
It's like it makes you think to propose me with
this ring that was supposed to be so meaningful, but
you literally lost it at a boys night poker game.
(51:19):
Like clearly you didn't give two shits about the ring.
So I think yeah, And now if you want to
guess what, go out and use that poker money that
you're winning to go buy me another ring hustle. There
you go. But that is the end of that story,
and we have some comments to read. Okay, these comments
(51:40):
are from the video I Discovered my Girlfriend's doc Secret,
and that was posted on September thirtieth, twenty twenty five.
The TLDR is Op thirty Mail was ready to propose
to his girlfriend, twenty eight female when he got a
shocking Facebook message. She had been married before and had
a son who had tragically passed away, something she had
(52:00):
never told him. Opie felt betrayed, but when she finally
opened up about her past, he saw how much pain
she had been carrying. Now op has to decide if
he can move forward and marry the woman he loves
knowing the heartbreaking secret she kept hidden. And if you're
curious to know how the full story goes, you can
watch it on YouTube.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
I'm gonna go watch it because I don't know the
heartbreaking secret I do.
Speaker 2 (52:24):
I remember this story and it was a very intense.
Speaker 3 (52:28):
Oh like a Steinfeld episode, more intense than Seinfeld.
Speaker 2 (52:32):
Woo, all right, let's get these comments ready.
Speaker 4 (52:38):
We got some comments. Nana Pee eight twenty seven says
she was wanting a fresh start from the pain in
her past. Her personality that you love is part of
her hurt that formed her who she is today. You
can bring up what you know from that phone call
and tell her you love her and you're here for her,
and if she wants to talk, you're there for her
when she's ready.
Speaker 3 (52:58):
Yeah, that's smart, sounds good. I would definitely do that
because that's in the past and you're gonna have to
work on how to move forward with her during this.
So if you are ready to do that kind of
work with her, go for it.
Speaker 4 (53:10):
Cool Yellow Daisy Sunshine twenty forty eight says, omg, it's
not even seven am. I'm putting my kids on the bus,
enjoying the morning on the front porch and this I
have literally cried why. I can only imagine that poor
woman's heartbreak. When OPI said she couldn't stand to look
at Sam's brother because he looks so much like him,
(53:31):
my heart.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
Broke for her.
Speaker 5 (53:32):
Oh yeah, life is so hard.
Speaker 4 (53:35):
Be kind y'all. You never know what someone's facing.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
You never ever know, that's the thing. It's like, there
were so many assumptions about like why this was kept
hidden and all this stuff and blah blah, blah blah,
and like it's like, uh, you never want to really
jump to conclusions.
Speaker 4 (53:49):
Okay, And the last comment is djxx y. I don't
have to find out anything like that from someone is
going to be my partner. I understand about the kid part.
But a man after twenty twofold marriage and he finds
out she was married before. W TF If you think
I'm wrong, imagine if you the one find that information
(54:10):
after twenty years of marriage.
Speaker 3 (54:13):
That is a lot to digest. Actually, I would hope
that whoever I'm with wouldn't mind telling me the truth,
and even if it is heartbreaking, they just you know,
I trust you fully and that's a big part of
your past and I think it's a big part of
who we are. Not like super big, but like you.
Speaker 5 (54:29):
Know, if it's the truth you can't handle, it.
Speaker 3 (54:31):
Doesn't matter if I can handle it or not. You
gotta tell me that.
Speaker 5 (54:34):
Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 3 (54:35):
Yeah, but that's ane of those comments. So if you
love us, make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 5 (54:39):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (55:00):
Passsssssssssssssssss.
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