My fiancé’s best friend CROSSED the line… now I don’t want her at my wedding! - r/WeddingDrama | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dearest John, it's been a fortnight since I felt your
warm embrace.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay
Storyteme podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious
story that I think you'll love. Sincerely Sam.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
But before that, thine, divine two minute outbreak must happen.
I bid thee farewell. See you in two minutes.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
My fiance's best friend cross the line. Now I don't
want her at my wedding.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
I mean, when you crossed that line, you get kicked out.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
Hey everyone, I female thirty, am marrying my fiance Jake
Maile thirty two, and the wedding date is in less
than a month. I tried my best to remain stress free,
but I'm struggling with the situation that's been weighing heavily
on me. So I could really use some advice. By
the way, this comes from a Sleep Snow sixty eight
to fifty four and if you want to smit your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate It.

(00:47):
Jake has a childhood best friend, Mary, female thirty. They
have been best friends since they were sixteen, and he
had a crush on her as a teenager, normal stuff.
She was the only girl in a male group of friends,
and everybody had a crush on her. When I first
met her, she unuinely liked her. I thought she was
pretty friendly, and she seemed happy that Jake had found me.
She even told me multiple times how relieved she was

(01:08):
that I wasn't like as crazy jealous. It was so
jealous of her and tried to ruin her relationship with Jake,
and Jake's version seemed to tell the same story. At first,
I didn't question it, but over time, little things started
to add up. Whenever I spent time with Mary, I
left with a bittersweet feeling. She would casually slip comments
about things she and Jay did together, dates, inside jokes,

(01:29):
even some minor high school spicy related experiences, phrased as
if she was just reminiscing. She always tells me these
things in a cool girl way, saying she just feels
so comfortable talking to me about them. I know I
should have done something, but I'm naturally quite a shy person,
and I second guess everything. I felt like all these
things were inappropriate for a best friend to share with

(01:50):
her best friend's girlfriend, but I wanted to think she
was just silly and not meaning any harm. Then there
were the moments that felt deliberate. At group gathering, she
would subtly isolate, stepping between me and others or changing
the subject if I was speaking. She would interrupt conversations
to take the spotlight, and once she even called Jake
into a room and opened the door in just a
top and underwear. Another time she tried to change clothes

(02:13):
in front of him, and when he immediately left the room,
she laughed it off, saying it wasn't a big dealall
I was there in the same room. She clearly did
it on purpose. At first, it was hard for Jake
to see what I was seeing. To his credit, he
never dismissed me, but he tried to justify her behavior.
That's just so she is, or she doesn't mean anything
by it. But in the past year things have escalated.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Escalated it boy escalated beyond her taking off her clothes
in front of your boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
At two separate weddings, she caused major drama, spreading cruel
gossip about the brides and other couples. Some of it
was so mean that I got very upset and left
the main room to get some air. Jake came along
and when I told him, he completely lost it. I
begged him not to make a scene and not to
confront her. You wanted to disinvite her from our wedding.
I finally convinced him not to do anything because I

(03:05):
didn't want to be the reason their friend group fell apart.
But now she has crossed yet another line. She recently
announced that she will be wearing a long, satin, very
whitish dress to our wedding.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
Like I mean, if she got into a car accident,
would be gone in the car accident, you know, and
someone needs to replace, like I would step up. That's
just the kind of friend I am.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
She has seen my wedding dress and what she picked
is very similar, both being long, tight and quite ivory.
And because she's the best man, she will be standing
right next to Jake at the altars.

Speaker 4 (03:40):
Man.

Speaker 3 (03:41):
Oh sorry, if you're about to disinvite someone from your wedding,
maybe they shouldn't be your best man.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, drop drop.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
When I politely pointed it out, she became extremely offended
and defensive. I have no doubt she's now talking bad
about me to their friends, painting me as the jealous
fiance like she did with Jake's X. She even made
a sarcastic remark, I'm sorry if you think I could
steal your attention.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
I mean, okay, that is an evil sentence, but damn
is that a good one.

Speaker 3 (04:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (04:12):
She's like, really, that is the most manipular set. It's
like it's like on par with Like I love how
you can just wear everything or anything.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
I love how you just like don't care about how
you look. Like You're so brave for that.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Jake is furious. He says that if she pulls anything,
he will personally punt her out.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
If you are thinking about punting out your best man,
they are not your best man.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
I'm not your best man.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
They shouldn't even be your guests. They should be your
worst man. They should be your blackmailed man, blacklisted, blackmailed,
put in the cabinet, never to be seen again.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
He resents me a bit. I think he said I
should have just led him uninvite her. I love that
he has my back, but again, I don't want any drama.
Their families are very close. Her whole extended family is
invited to the wedding, and the group of friends would
be forced to take a side. Even if she finally
decides to wear another dress, my fears that she won't
just take attention, she might actually try to ruin my

(05:02):
dress or create some kind of scene. We've already told
her that we know there will be no speeches because
she has a history of making everything about how Jake
was in love with her but finally moved on. I
can't believe that this is even something I have to
worry about on my wedding day. I invited only the
people I love. Most of this wedding, the energy has
been nothing but love, no drama, just excitement and joy
until now, and I feel completely stuck. Uninviting her isn't

(05:25):
an option because it would create massive drama on Jake's side,
and I know I would be blamed as the crazy
girlfriend who tried to ruin the friendship. But at this point,
after knowing everything I do now, I don't even believe
his ex was crazy at all. I think she just
saw the same things I'm seeing now. I don't know
what to do. It's spoiling everything for me. And there
is an update.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
What say you, I mean, let him uninvite her from
the wedding, but he is not a red flag that
he's like, babe, if you want me to uninvite her,
I'll do it. And he's not taking the initiative to
uninvite her. With everything that's going on, It's like it's
like make like I think op is saying I want
him to make the decision, sure, because I want him
to choose me over this woman, And he's like, I

(06:07):
want her to come if my wife doesn't say anything exactly,
I want my second wife there right next to me. Yeah,
a backup wife.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
Yeah, but like, yeah, no, I think I think that's
exactly what's happening here. But yeah, I mean, if you
don't want drama kick around.

Speaker 1 (06:21):
Yeah, but also red flag that he's he's not doing anything.
I feel like this is I think we're on on
very unstable ground with this marriage already. Up, I'm not
feeling good about it. I'm not feeling good.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
But there is an update. First of all, thank you
to everyone who took the time to respond. Sometimes opening
it with strangers helps more than talking with friends. All
my friends are just mad and ready to spill wine
on her. I wanted to clarify a few things and
share an update after a long conversation with Jake tonight.
We are not in the US. Jake and I are
originally from a Nordic European country, but now of abroad.
I mentioned this because cultural difference is play a role here.

(06:55):
Where we're from. It's not common to dictate what the
bridal party wears. We wanted everyone to feel comfortable and
choose their own outfits. We told all our guests that,
but of course we never expected someone to push the
boundaries so far those questioning the timeline. We've had a
long engagement almost two years ago. When we first got engaged,
Jake and Mary were still close, so it made sense

(07:15):
for her to be the best man. All the formalities
have been completed, She signed the paper, her documents have
been sent to the town hall, expensive gifts have been shared,
et cetera. But over the past year everything has changed.
He is distance himself. He never reaches out to her
first anymore. He only replies when she contacts him. Since
we don't live in the same country, we don't see
her often, only at big gatherings like Christmas or weddings,

(07:38):
So in our day to day lives, she's not present
for the people saying your spouse should be your best friend.
Of course, Jake is my best friend. That's not even
up for discussion. But having close friendships outside our relationship
doesn't mean we aren't each other's closest person. This situation
isn't about whether a man and a woman could be
best friends. It's about boundaries. Absolutely well.

Speaker 1 (07:59):
It does feel like at least Jake is putting up
some boundaries. Yes, sure, but I feel like yet not enough,
especially for the level that this person's going.

Speaker 3 (08:09):
I just really don't understand why he can say that
I'm willing to get rid of her from the wedding entirely,
but not change his best man.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
Yeah, maybe he doesn't mean you gotta have other, but
you gotta have other best man.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
Maybe he doesn't, maybe he's only on her. No, for
those wondering if Jake still has feelings for her, if
I had even the slightest doubt about that, I wouldn't
be marrying him. But I don't. This isn't about him,
it's about her. She constantly brings up the fact that
he once had a crush on her when they were teenagers.
When he's not around, she knows he wouldn't take that lightly.
It honestly feels like she clings to that detail as

(08:40):
a way to boost her own ego or my friends, Uh,
she's just sad. I just know that if she gets
uninvited or demoted to guests, she will make sure that
the entire wedding is about her. If you think I'm exaggerating.
At the last Christmas gathering, she was being very clean
towards Jake, acting overly familiar, nothing extremely inappropriate, though he
got irritated and started avoiding her. And what did she do?

(09:02):
She sat there the whole night, throwing daggers at him
with her eyes and making sure people noticed. People did notice,
and talked. And that's the thing. She thrives on making
drama but never grows incredibly overboard. Why on inviting her
isn't simple? In our culture? This would cause a big scandal.
At least eight people, some of whom are very important

(09:23):
to Jake, would refuse to come if we uninvited her.
And even if we could accept that, it would still
turn the wedding into a circus of gossip about her absence.
I'm sure she'll gossip her.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
But she'll be well. It is like, what kind of
gossip do you want? Do you want gossip or do
you want full blown wedding pandemonium, which she will definitely
bring in.

Speaker 3 (09:40):
Yep, this isn't just about the wedding day, It's about
the fallout afterward. The reality is Jake comes from a
small town where people love to talk, and she's very
good at making herself the victim. I'm not a bridezilla
by any means, but I'd rather people enjoy my wedding
and think about us, then wonder why Mary is not
there and speculate, especially because she will make sure people
think she not there Because I am jealous of her,

(10:02):
I wouldn't be able to enjoy my day. I'm in
the wrong, maybe, and I accept it. But I'm not
a confrontational person, and a fight before the wedding will
ruin it for me. There is a little bit left
to this story.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
I think uninvite her. She's she's crossed so many boundaries already.
Demoting her to a guest is not going to do it.
If you lose those eight people, at least you'll have
a wedding that you'll actually feels drama free rather and
like a little gossip like that's fine, but it's not
it's at least it's not a wild card.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
The thing is that I don't know. This person should
not remain in your life. Yeah, like, if you have
the wedding and she's got to be in it, then
you're gonna have to get rid of her after.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:39):
I just don't think she's a good friend to have around.

Speaker 4 (10:41):
No, not at all.

Speaker 3 (10:42):
But there is an update.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
Let's hear the update.

Speaker 3 (10:44):
Jake and I had a long conversation tonight. He's going
to reach out to her directly about the dress. I
asked him to wait for her reaction before making any decisions.
He agreed to hold off until we see how she
handles it. That said, one thing is already decided. After
the wedding, he's going no comment, which is what I think.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
Good.

Speaker 3 (11:01):
You won't engage with her beyond group gatherings, and even
then he'll keep interactions as minimal as possible. This has
been building for a long time, and after everything she's done,
he's ready to be done with it. And that is
the end that story.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
Wow. Wow, I am glad that they are distancing themselves
from her. I am a little bit like suspicious of
not maybe not suspicious of the wrong word. But I
am like, I feel like the husband should have put
down more boundaries without the wife having to do all
of it, you know, Like, I feel like he should
have been the one to uninvite her from the wedding
and be like, like, babe, should you like I think.

Speaker 3 (11:38):
Stop being some wishy wash you guys, someone make a decision.
You guys are both like freaking people, please incapable of
making decisions.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
You're like, well, whatever you you, I don't know, you're
just going to do what some of the best.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
Interest of no one. I'm fine with any options.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
But that is where that story ends.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Indeed, I got rejected by my best friend. Now she's saying,
I'm I'm heartless.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
I think maybe you might be.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
I don't expect you to like or agree with what
I'm about to say, but it has always been the
way I am, and I've never lied about it. My
friends have known this about me for years, and it
just feels like they want me to break my principles
for the sake of doing it, which feels toxic to me.
I'm pretty sure I am in the right, but my
friends heavily disagree. So I wanted to ask for some
out outside opinions. By the way, this comes from Prideful

(12:23):
Witch eight ninety and if you want us to make
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subber.
I've always been prideful to what some would call a fault,
but I would call the lack of pride.

Speaker 4 (12:33):
I witnessed the same if I.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Was being brutally honest in a whole Maybe we're just
different people, but I've had the same friend group for
most of my life.

Speaker 4 (12:41):
We're all in our mid twenties. I do not believe
in the.

Speaker 2 (12:43):
Whole break up, get back together or the yes no, yes,
SnO thing.

Speaker 4 (12:47):
If you say you.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
Don't want me, you don't want me, end of story.
We can close that book and get back to where
we were, no problem, and I won't bring it up again.
Six ish weeks ago, I finally got the courage up
to ask my best friend, someone I had feelings for
for a long time before this out. She wasn't interested,
and I accepted that right away, because why would I not.
We've been friends for a long time and I didn't

(13:09):
expect anything from her. I did distance myself for just
a little bit to get over the awkwardness, but within
a little over the week. It was like nothing happened,
and I was glad, at least until this last weekend,
where during a sleepover with all of our friends at
my place, she kissed me. No one else was paying attention,
and I was kind of a shock, so I just
pulled away and shook my head. I honestly figured she

(13:29):
was plastered and that would be the end of it.
We had all been drinking a lot and I wasn't
even going to bring it up. Next morning, I wake
up and she, as well of a couple of friends
are gone.

Speaker 4 (13:39):
The ones that were still there were really angry.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
No matter how I tried to explain where I'm coming from,
I'm apparently not understanding how hard it was for her
to confess that she felt humiliated by my reaction. I
told them they all knew how I felt about this
kind of thing, and they started talking about how it
was a different situation and that my response was heartless.
I don't know, am I the A and we do
have some relevant comments. But before to get into these

(14:02):
relevant comments, I want some other relevant comments from the
fine gentleman in my company.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
I mean, just because someone goes in for it, like
when you go in for the smooch. There's inherent risk,
inherent risk. There there's risk of failure, there's risk of rejection.
There's risk of being told that you're a little poopy head, bigie.
You'll never be someone that that person would want to guess.
And that is and that's and that's what happens when

(14:27):
you when you go on for this smooch. So I
think you kind of have to be ready for that,
that failure, that rejection.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
I feel like getting mad at and like, look, I
get the I get why you would be sad and mad, Yes,
because it sucks.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, but like we kind of don't have any right
to Well, we've.

Speaker 2 (14:42):
Got some relevant comments groundmaking Gear ten says, not the
a hole, What the heck is wrong with your friends?
Rejecting kiss by pulling away and shaking the head is heartless?
Now do they think you have to accept any approach
by a woman assuming the way you describe a situation
is accurate. You didn't humiliate her, You just rejected her,
which is totally fine, Tim sluck. We've got a comment
for on top of that, he thinks no one seen,
which means that she was the one who told everyone

(15:05):
she can be embarrassed about the rejection, but she humiliated herself.
Right Mute says I'd be more worried about what she
told everyone. Distinct Science AFI four says it not the ahole.
What in the grade school Shenanigan's is this? She rejects you,
then changes her mind and kisses you without saying anything weird.

Speaker 4 (15:21):
Hope your responds to be fair to her. I mentioned
this in another comment.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
When we were young, we made out slash messed around
some when we would drink or smoke, But also we
haven't done that since we were teenagers, so it's still
unexpected for me. It's also why I didn't take it
seriously at all. I thought she was just plastered an
ORNI that she thought that I was the same, not
a crime, and not something that I even thought was
worth bringing up, honestly, And we have an update four

(15:46):
days later. I promised a couple of people an update
if there was one other than me just losing almost
all my friends in one go, and am I surprise
there is, though at the same time, I'm mostly posting
this for me, shouting into a void, because I feel
slightly rock bottom right now and my gut is telling
me to quit my job, pack my crap.

Speaker 4 (16:03):
And leave the state.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
I want to leave half of this country, to be honest,
not even just my city or state, my God, because
life here is unsalvageable for me. I got family out
west to let me stay for a while, and every
second I consider it, it seems like a better idea.
I also wanted to start by saying I would like
to explain my position a little better, So just skip
the next two paragraphs if you don't want to hear it.
Try to make your starting point easy to find. Sorry

(16:25):
if it didn't work, but I do want the chance
to explain myself a little better.

Speaker 4 (16:28):
I was a record writing the first.

Speaker 2 (16:29):
One, and looking back over it didn't give many details
regarding the reasons or how I felt outside of avoiding
the situations. I did not view myself as an epic
legend or whatever else everyone was commenting on the last post.
In fact, I do understand that to many this is
a pretty fatal flaw in my personality. I have accepted
that for a lot of people that opinion is one
that cuts off the possibility of friendship. It sucks, But
I also don't want to change myself or force myself

(16:50):
into uncomfortable situations just.

Speaker 4 (16:52):
Because people don't like a part of me.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
I am very accepting of others views on the situation
and completely agree that my own can seem rigid.

Speaker 4 (16:59):
I don't blame people for disagreeing.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
I think plenty of people could have a wonderful relationship
in that situation.

Speaker 4 (17:04):
I only ever brought it up because it matters in
the story.

Speaker 2 (17:06):
However, I also know when it comes to relationships, it
would be it would not be fair to either party
in this. In a case like this, I know for
a fact I would never fully know that I wasn't
a backup option, or they aren't just saying yes because
it's convenient. Now, I don't want those two kind of
thoughts on my head, and I don't want to constantly
feel like I have to prove I'm worth in a relationship.
I have more pride or maybe, as others have said,

(17:26):
self respect is better wording.

Speaker 4 (17:28):
It isn't meant as a gotcha or to punch the
other person.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
It's because even if I still have romantic feelings, I
genuinely don't think the relationship is a good idea anymore. Anyways,
For the actual update, after almost a full week of
radio silence. She replied to my text and asked if
we could meet and talk. I asked where she wanted
to meet, and she said my place, I assume for privacy,
which is cool.

Speaker 4 (17:46):
I know a lot of.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
People were talking about her trying to set me up
for crimes and stuff, but I'm not really worried about
that from her. I don't think she would. She isn't vindictive.
So when we got here we just sat down. I
pretty much told her that I was so confused about everything.
He didn't even know what to make of all that
had happened, and I asked her to tell me what
happened from her point of view. There were two differences
between her version and my version that I picked up on,

(18:08):
which may well have been accurate. I was plastered, and
they aren't huge differences, but at the same time, I
can see how it would be embarrassing. She claims that
after I pulled away, I made a face like.

Speaker 4 (18:19):
I was grossed out.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
Afterwards, she said I shifted to be leaning away from
her for the rest of the movie, and it just
made it worse. I don't remember either of those moves,
but again, I was wasted, so he made the like
disgusted face going away, and then he said.

Speaker 4 (18:34):
Like he was kind of like leaning away from her
during the movie.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
I mean legendary game Man classic. Sorry I did my
lean The lean away just makes them crazy, you know. Yeah,
that's what the legend does, the epic legend, the epic legend. No,
I mean, I don't know. I feel like he's just
trying to be like I don't want to kiss you,

(18:58):
maybe going out about it a little bit. But yeah,
it's no crime.

Speaker 4 (19:02):
There's no there's no like line it.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
It is a gray area because you obviously don't want
to just like totally stomp someone into the dirt if
you're retecting them. But like, I don't I don't think
he's doing anything that crazy, No, I you know, so
I hope he says, not gonna deny it. I have
a little control over my face when I smoke her drink,
and I absolutely could have made a face without realizing
it just.

Speaker 4 (19:22):
Out of shock.

Speaker 2 (19:23):
I apologized for that and assured her I wasn't disgusted,
just shocked as heck, and also assuming it was a
wasted mistake kind of thing. Heck, we've done all stupid
kinds of crap wasted, no big deal. It was only
the next morning when I was bum rushed with accusations
before I even got a moaning pissin that I was
told it was meant to be some kind of hint
or whatever. She She did look really embarrassed at that

(19:45):
point and told me that she hadn't thought about it
that way and just thought it would be more simple
than everything else. I decided, against my better judgment to
ask the question everyone here told me to ask, why
did she actually reject me at first and what caused
her to change her mind. That's when things got really uncomfortable.
I could tell that she didn't want to tell me,
but eventually she did. Apparently her parents are more bigoted

(20:09):
than she or anyone else led me to believe so,
in her own words, telling them we were in a
relationship quote unquote wouldn't be worth it since I came
out I am non binary, and she said they haven't
liked me since then, but stay civil for her sake,
meaning that they would just trash talk me whenever I left,
which is really frustrating and embarrassing considering all I've done

(20:31):
for that effing family over the years. She was scared
that dating would push them too far and they'd cut
her off from their lives. She said that she'd hope
that maybe we could try dating on the down low,
and if things got serious enough that she could tell
their parents. I pretty much just told her I had
a lot to think about and asked her if I
could have some time. She agreed and left. And I
don't know if I'm more furious or embarrassed or hurt.

(20:52):
Why didn't she tell me before? Now they were saying
that kind of crap about me? What kind of friend
does that? I'm not saying that she had to cut
them off or stop seeing them. I totally understand weird
dynamics with parents, but believe me, but maybe tell me
that they have an open disgust and hatred for my
existence before I decided to keep helping them with household
chores and treat them like I would family. I mean,
I grew up with these people, for God's sakes. I

(21:14):
thought of her mother as a better one to me
than my own. Not a high bar, but she was
doing cartwheels fifty feet over it. In my eyes, I
am so stick to my stomach with greed. I'm pretty
sure we aren't going to be able to be friends anymore,
and it just hurts. I grew up with her. She's
the first person other than my dad I came out to,
and I never ever thought that there would be anything
she would do that I couldn't forgive her for, but

(21:34):
making a fool out of me for years, then suggesting
we date quietly so her family doesn't have to know she's.

Speaker 4 (21:40):
With the local freak show. She just feels way too fine.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
Oh yeah, this is this is this is rough, This
is rough. I want to forgive her, but she's not
even sorry. She didn't even apologize for anything. I want
to see her reasons. I want to give her the
benefit of doubt, but it just hurts. I'm not sure
if I wish I hadn't followed the advice or not
right now, even though I know it's better to know,
I am glad at least that I will know to

(22:05):
stop wasting time, labor, and money on people who hate me.

Speaker 4 (22:09):
But to know that they hate me.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
Is so painful. Yeah, I mean, it's this. This just
took such a huge, huge right turn. Also, Angela, thank you,
they not chi. Sorry I slipped up on there. I
was referencing the person kissing Ope and got confused. But yeah,
this is uh, Opie is just really going through it.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
Yeah, I mean I feel like I feel this this
kiss has I mean like has I feel like the
leaner the person that kissed Op thought that they were
being like hurt more of it really just ended up
hurting Ope, like massively. Because now now, like with all
this information, it's like learning that these these parents don't

(22:51):
accept Ope either.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
You know, it's whole other morning process, not just mourning
a friend or someone you could have been like romantically
interested in. Now it's like you've got a rental figures,
a parental figure. Oh my goodness, but we do have
some relevant comments. For God's sakes, I thought of her
mother as a better one to my own. Along with
everything else, this must stuck. Like, I'm so sorry for you, Op.
If she wasn't even willing to stand up to you

(23:14):
with her family, then it was probably the best decision
to not be involved with her, and certainly not now.
Obie says, Yeah, a romantic relationship is entirely off the table.
I'm trying to wait to speak to my therapist before
I do anything rash, but I do not want to
be here anymore, and I'm just scared it's going to
get worse. I have cried so much over her mom
since we spoke. She's the one who helped me with
my homework, who took me to the doctor when I

(23:35):
was sick, and made sure I had enough to eat,
and now she just hates me.

Speaker 4 (23:39):
It feels so unfair.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
That's heartbreaking.

Speaker 2 (23:42):
Cyrix eighty four seventy two says, So your friend came over.
She explained her embarrassment and interpretation of what happened. She
took your view on what happened and how you were
Anne bushed in the morning and how everyone got mad
at you. Now that she knows all of this, is
she going to smooth it out with everyone else and
get them to apologize to you?

Speaker 4 (23:59):
Are you going to be accepted the friend group again?
Are things going to go back to the way they were?

Speaker 2 (24:02):
I get that her family's bigoted, that you are frustrated
how they view you and how she wanted a relationship
on the down low.

Speaker 4 (24:09):
Her family is a new.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
Second issue that she's raised, But that's separate from your
first issue. Losing your entire friend network on top of that,
and she's responsible for that for isolating you and turning
everyone against you. She needs to reframe you from pulling
away from her kiss as not a rejection, but you
not taking advantage of someone who is intoxicated and confusion
as to her actions after rejecting you. Assigning it to
a wasted mistake is fair enough, but recognizing that in

(24:32):
that moment and acting like a gentleman and not taking
advantage of her was the right thing to do, especially
since she didn't verbalize anything related it to her just
going for the kiss, which by the way, wasn't a confession,
it was just lobbin' the gob.

Speaker 4 (24:46):
A confession uses words. I heavily agree with that.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
Lob in the gob.

Speaker 4 (24:50):
Lobb in the gob.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
Yeah, we need to we need to communicate with We
need to use our lips for sound.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
I think also, I think you can do a lean
in with maybe like a context of a date, but
if there's like context of rejection or something, I feel
like you need to say like, hey, I thought about it,
I actually really like you. I want to do something.
Can we go on a date sometime?

Speaker 5 (25:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yeah, we need that's with everything we've got going on,
or her knowing that her parents hate op she wants
to keep it on the DL.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
That's what it has gone for the kiss with something
like that, you know, like totally not yeah, you know,
have a little conversation.

Speaker 4 (25:22):
Absolutely, OPI response.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
The hateful messages have stopped, but no one has apologized,
and I'm keeping them muted for now just in case
they get angry again.

Speaker 4 (25:30):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (25:30):
I got the feeling they just want to pretend they
didn't say crap and that this isn't happening. Also, that's
an assumption, you know what assumptions do, So take that
with a grain of salt. Maybe they feel bad and
want to reach out. Maybe they're waiting for something.

Speaker 4 (25:41):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
I just want to give that the benefit of the doubt,
because I am not trying to think the worst of
everyone right now. And we have update number two.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
Oh boy, oh boy, Wow, we're really diving in deep.

Speaker 4 (25:53):
We are. We are diving in deep.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
We're diving.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
Indeed, My question is do we think Ope goes one
hundred and ten percent no contact.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
I just don't see anything that unless the friend makes
some big changes. I'm not super I'm not super convinced
of I feel like Ope he is not being treated
with the respect that they deserve.

Speaker 2 (26:14):
I agree, and like it would have been a different
story if Opie shared all the stuff and then she
was like, oh man, you know what, you're right, Like,
I totally like not thinking of that, But it seems
like she kind of hasn't.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
She was just like, didn't do that mistakes.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
No, no, no, not at all. She's just like played victim.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Yeah, but we have update number two. So eight months later,
it's been a while. I was talking to a new
friend yesterday about why I moved and remembered this account,
so I figured i'd give you an update.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
OPI moved. You're joking. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
They were not joking when they said I'm gonna move
halfway across the country.

Speaker 4 (26:48):
It wasn't a joke.

Speaker 2 (26:49):
Well, Opie says, I didn't confront my ex friend's mom
or dad.

Speaker 4 (26:52):
I didn't think it was necessary.

Speaker 2 (26:54):
I believed her. I don't think she was lying. I
spoke to my therapist and we went over my reasons
to stay and my reasons to go, and the list
for leaving was so much longer than staying. It was
pretty simple to move. I was renting on a month
to month lease, and I didn't have much they needed
to keep.

Speaker 4 (27:07):
I regret that now. Partially.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
I think I was a little manic when I started
my little spring cleaning and threw away some stuff I
wished I kept. I'm living with my uncle now, who's
really cool, in a much more populated area. It was
a lot easier to find friends out here than it
was back home. I did receive few apologies from the
friends who were sending nasty texts before I left, and
I accepted those, but I was pretty honest about my plans.
The ones who really show their true colors was my

(27:30):
ex best friend. When she found out I was moving.
She's pretty furious and kept yelling and calling me names
and all the stuff, which I thought was because she
was going to miss me.

Speaker 4 (27:39):
Nope.

Speaker 2 (27:39):
Ended up asking what her parents were supposed to do now,
since I was the one who took care of their
garden for the most part. Nope ended up asking what
her parents were supposed to do now since I was
the one who took care of their gardens for the
most part. Asked how selfish I could be and if
I wanted them to break a hip just because they
didn't like that.

Speaker 4 (27:54):
I wear skirts now.

Speaker 2 (27:56):
She didn't outright call me a slur, but there were
a lot of little digs in that lie talk that
made me keep waiting for it. I don't think she's
a bigoted a hole. I think she was mad and
knew that would hurt my feelings, so.

Speaker 4 (28:07):
She dug deep.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
So anyways, I've had her and most of the people
back home blocked for a while and it doesn't bother
me much.

Speaker 4 (28:14):
I'm doing well. I had a birthday party recently. Side notes.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
I will never ever get over being able to wake
up and decide to go.

Speaker 4 (28:20):
To the beach and just drive there. This is such
a luxury to me, and I hope it never gets old.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
My uncle is a quiet guy. I like spending time
with him and his wife. They never make me feel
like a freak, and I'm so glad to call them
my family.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
Shout out to the uncle for actually being the family
op he needs.

Speaker 4 (28:37):
Dude, cool uncle is a freaking vibe.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
It's a big win.

Speaker 4 (28:41):
Cool aunt and uncle.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
Oh, I love them.

Speaker 2 (28:43):
But we've got some realm and comments to close this out.
Not that useful person says, glad to hear things are
better now. Ex friend might not be bigoted, but if
she's using your identity to hurt you, she might as
well be you're better off without. Opie says, I agree
with the last part. I've been feeling so much lighter
since I moved. Of course it's still new, but I
love it here. I think the initial problem was trying
to start a relationship as a friend in the first place.

Speaker 4 (29:01):
I would almost compare it to don't crap where you
eat for me.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
I know that's work, not friends, but it feels correct
since it imploded my life in a similar way. But
you live, you learn, and a riker Omega three says, wow,
did you ever dodge a bullet with that family? Seriously,
don't spend any time morning that friendship or losing those people.

Speaker 4 (29:17):
They're all kinds of terrible.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
Also, didn't feel like you were in the wrong for
having a if you don't want me now, you don't
get me later kind of attitude. How you handle things
is exactly how a rational person would. You asked her out,
she said no, so you moved on. I am the
exact same way. If if that helps. If you don't
want me now and you reject me when I ask
you out, that's it. I'm never going to change my
mind and I won't wait for you to figure things
out with another dude. I won't be your backup planned

(29:40):
and I dang for sure wouldn't be your side piece
or hidden.

Speaker 4 (29:43):
Boyfriend like your ex friend wanted you. Good for you
for having clear boundaries in life. And that's it.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
I love when we got a little story of someone
choosing a better life for the Yes.

Speaker 4 (29:53):
Opie said.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
Opie literally was like I'm going to move across the
country and then forget it and did it and like
live in it up.

Speaker 4 (30:00):
Yeah, dare I say? Op is an epic legend. Hey,
it's John ere og host here.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
We're going to get back to the stories. But he's
a quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (30:09):
My wife is upset about my weight loss. She wants
me back to my old self. Time to get to work.
Wait what I got married to my wife six years
ago when she got pregnant. Ideally we would have dated
for longer than nine months, but it is what it is,
and we had our sons soon after. By the way,
this comes from Transformer Dad, And if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the rs slash Okay

(30:31):
storytime severed it so within the few years of our marriage.
Life was good. I got to learn a lot about
my wife and we got along really well, more than
when we were dating. Then my dad passed of a
heart attack when I was thirty five. Wow, my dad
had just turned fifty nine. This was a reality check,
and I remember I cared so much because I had
my son, and if I wanted my son to have

(30:51):
me around. When I was thirty five, I was at
least going to have to live to seventy one without
heeling over from a similar health issue. I went and
did a physical blood work found that I had high
cholesterol and high blood pressure. I told the doctor my
workout plan and diet and set on my way. Following
some of the workout and diet reddits was helpful. Within
a year, I was down to my normal weight, and

(31:13):
within two years I had a six pack, something I
never had when I was younger. From that point, my
doctor told me my health had exponentially improved. But I
was thirsty for more, all right. I wanted to look
even more aesthetically pleasing, So I got a picture of
the three hundred cover photo and set about building my
body for that Halloween. In that time, I think my
wife and I must have grown apart. My wife used

(31:33):
to always be fit when we dated, but after having
our son, she must have been too busy to exercise.
I invited her with me to work out. I saved
up money and built a separate two car garage behind
the house to build a home gym, but she would
say she was tired or happy the way she was.
I would go for jogs with my son and the stroller,
and whenever she joined us, she would insist we walk.
I asked her to try jogging, and she would snap back,

(31:55):
asking if I didn't find her attractive, that's tough. I
think she's I think she's probably really quick. I think
she's probably feeling a lot of like insecurities, insecurities, and
I think, oh, he's not even doing this from like
a mindset of like, oh you're not you don't look
good to me, Like I'm putting all this work, you
should put it too. I think it's just when you
are a very active person, you enjoy it anyway. Of course,

(32:18):
I love my wife. I love her as the mother
of my child. I love her as the daughter in
law she is when helping my mother, and most of all,
I love her as my wife. And how she is
forever my companion. This became even more apparent with time.
While I would be cooking chicken, breasts and broccoli for
the week, she would say that I starting lasagna and
fried chicken that I used to eat before. I told
her that I didn't want to go back.

Speaker 4 (32:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (32:40):
Man, I just don't understand her thought process when you
hear presumably he's told her that he was literally like
on the route to pass very early on in his life,
maybe get a heart attack, and then she's like, I
actually don't care. My insecurities are more important than your wife. Yeah,
that's crazy.

Speaker 6 (33:00):
And plus social media, Oh dude, social media makes you
think things of yourself and it's so powerful to people.

Speaker 3 (33:07):
I told her that I didn't want to go back
to being overweight and obese. My BMI used to be
thirty two and the doctor said that was classified as obese.
Now my BMI was twenty five borderline overweight, but I
am at ten percent body fat, so I was careful
with my food and she got upset. She asked if
I thought she was fat, and I calmly told my

(33:27):
wife to go ask the doctor because I thought she
looked good. But I was biased. After her appointment the
next week, she came back home crying. She said her
doctor said she was overweight and should consider a diet
plan and working out. I thought I would see changes
in my wife's behavior, but nothing happened. Now summer has
come around and my son is a bubbling ball of
excitement and always wants to go to the pool. They
take him to the community pool to play with other

(33:48):
kids that live in our neighborhood, and my wife joins
us sometimes. Last weekend, the neighborhood had a pool party
and everyone and their kids were there. My wife came
and my son and I were having fun playing in
the water and socializing with the people who came there.
When we got home, after my son took a nap,
my wife walked me into our bedroom and started questioning me.
She asked me if I was sleeping with ex woman
who was there? Why woman who was talking to me?

(34:11):
Or z woman whose kid I was helping dry off
and talking to. I said I didn't know what she
was talking about, and then she pulled out her phone
to show me pictures she had taken from her seat.
They were pictures of me smiling and talking to these women.
Ah cheating, Ah, cheating. I sat my wife down and
told her I would never cheat. I have a son
that she provided me and a wife that I loved

(34:32):
and cared so much about. She wouldn't accept that answer, though,
She said that I must be attracted to those women
because they can look good wearing bikinis while she's heavier
than them. Her words, not mine. Then she changed the
focus to me. She said I was getting all this
attention because I was now fit compared to before, and
it would cause me to waver in my fidelity now
that other women were attracted to me. My wife told

(34:53):
me that she wants me back to my old self,
when she didn't have to worry about other women and
would be comfortable together. She said she feels this undue
pressure to become fit herself and feels like it's too
stressful to maintain that lifestyle. Can someone please tell me
what to do. I'm not going to lie to my wife,
but if I'm being honest, ah, I think she would
be much more attractive if she tried to get back

(35:14):
into shape, even just trying. Don't tell her that. Yeah,
I keep that to yourself. Don't tell her that, buddy.
I hope you haven't told her that before, But don't
tell her that. Yeah, I keep that one's yourself. I
don't know how I can tell her this without hurting
her feelings, don't or making her feel more insecure? Can
someone tell me how to approach this? There is an update,
but I can I got to stop. Pause, But really,

(35:36):
do you have any thoughts?

Speaker 6 (35:36):
Yeah? I'm thinking about the equal yoke thing because I
feel like couples are better whenever they're on the same
page about things. Clearly you and your wife are not,
and I think it would make life so much easier
if both of you were very fit, or if both
of you weren't very fit.

Speaker 3 (35:50):
It's either.

Speaker 6 (35:51):
It's just like a rubber band and you guys are
doing this right now, and to release the tension of
the rubber band, someone needs to either give in or
follow the other one.

Speaker 4 (35:58):
So someone's going to need to give in.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
And you can't follow her because.

Speaker 6 (36:02):
You might and you understand the you know, limitations of
that couples counseling opening her up to something else.

Speaker 3 (36:09):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (36:10):
I feel like your wife needs to move kind of
closer towards you, And it doesn't mean like your your
wife needs to start working out five times a week
and do eight this and da da da da da.
It's like, you know, being okay with going on a walk.
You know, guys don't have the job, but being okay
with the walk. The wife sees this has a big undertaking. Yeah,
because you went through like a big change in your life. Yeah,
and it sounds like you guys got to go back
to square one. Figure out what's a good step to

(36:31):
ease attention on that.

Speaker 3 (36:32):
Yeah, therapy, tell her, yeah, therapy. Let's approach this from
a health standpoint.

Speaker 6 (36:37):
But it does seem like there's some ego happening on
both sides here, some pride on both sides.

Speaker 3 (36:41):
I think so. But there is an updates, let's get
into it. Thank you everyone for your post and advice.
I really appreciate it. I made a few realizations about
myself and my relationship to my wife. I wasn't easing
my wife into getting into a healthy lifestyle and had
completely forgotten that when I started out. I took it
very slow, which is yeah, kind of what we are saying, like,
don't just drop her into stuff that she doesn't like doing.

(37:03):
Find something that she likes. It took me four years
to get to where I am now, and my wife
was trying to keep up with my current livestyle, which
can definitely be overwhelming. I was trying to look for
the perfect opportunity to talk about this with my wife
and to ease the mood a little. I went and
bought her favorite bottle of wine and a bouquet. I
went to talk to her in our bedroom after our
son had gone to sleep, and she had these old
photo albums. Apparently she had stopped by her parents' place

(37:26):
after work to help them with some summer cleaning, and
she wanted to keep the photo album to go through
the memories. I gave her the flowers and open the wine,
and we looked through the pictures while we were cuddling.
We were leafing through the pictures, and then I saw
one of a strikingly handsome man in a football uniform
holding a girl that looked exactly like my wife when
she was twenty four, kissing him. My wife was so
interested in the picture and she started tearing up a bit.

(37:48):
I asked her what was wrong, and she pulled out
her phone and showed me a picture of her parents.
Now they're in their sixties and still in love, but
they have lost their shape that they had in their youth.
Her dad had a really large adult soda gut and
her her mom was overweight, but they were happy. She
was saying that when we got married, she was hoping
we would be like them. They never worried about losing
faith in one another because their attractiveness faded as they

(38:10):
grew old her, but their love for one another continued
to grow. She talked about her old boyfriend who became
so popular in college and girls threw themselves at him
that he ended up strange. She was worried the same
would happened to me because women in their neighborhood started
to talk and say they wish their husbands worked on
their bodies like I did. She was starting to feel
really insecure.

Speaker 6 (38:30):
Okay, well girl, let me tell you something. Mmm mmmm,
tell me you won the jackpie here.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
You got the jackpie.

Speaker 3 (38:36):
You got the hot guy. You got the hot man
in the neighborhood. You got the hot guy. Oh, ladies
want them, but they can't have them.

Speaker 6 (38:42):
Everybody wants a little bit. But guess who's nibbling old
days at you?

Speaker 3 (38:46):
That's you, girle. Then I took that opportunity. I gave
her a kiss and then told her that she loved
me when I was fat, and women like them never
noticed me. She still loves me, but those women just lust.
M sure in my eyes might dart it is physically natural.
You didn't tell her that, did you, Dude, He's just stop.
I hope that was just an inner monologue. Yeah, yeah,

(39:07):
but I loved her so much, valued our relationship so much,
and only needed her in my bed. I couldn't even
imagine laying with another woman besides her. She started crying
tears of joy, and I didn't stop there. I pushed onwards.
I grabbed the picture of her parents from college, the
picture she had of her parents now, and a picture
of when we started dating on my phone. I told
her what her parents did. Lose track of their health

(39:27):
but still grow old and love each other is one
way to live life. They got the chance to see
their grandkids, but I know the health problems her parents have.
Then I brought up my dad and how he wasn't
able to spend much time with his grandson, and how
I want to have the opportunity to see my future
grandkids and maybe even great grandkids. I said I wanted
her to be by my side. I took a picture
of us now and had the picture of her parents
and said, why can't this be us when we're in

(39:48):
our forties, fifties, sixties till we pass. I told her
I loved her, but because I loved her so much,
I wanted her to become healthy. She doesn't need to
get her pre babyweight or anything drastic. I told her
my st sorry of how I just wanted to get fit,
but then that developed into a desire to look good too.
She admitted that she also wanted to get back her health,
and at the same time, she was hoping to stick
to her new year's resolution to lose twenty pounds. All right,

(40:11):
we talked set up a plan, so she's cutting the
snacks down to two cookies a day and logging everything
she eats and portion control. That was when she brought
up her monthly appointment with her psychiatrist. Apparently she's been
going to talk about how she could get over her
over eating habits. I felt so bad I neglected my
wife when I was trying to become healthy.

Speaker 4 (40:30):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (40:30):
Yeah, when I could have included her in my journey
and it would have been so much easier to do together.
I'm glad that he's realizing, like what, you know, the
part that he's played in this as well. Yeah, yeah,
I appreciate it. We set up an exercise schedule every day,
and she was joking about how we should have spicy
sleep every day to make sure we get our cardio in. See,
she's getting her little she's getting her confidence back. I

(40:51):
appreciate that. I took the inn and we as spicy
sly the rest of the night. Why I haven't been
as intimate with my wife like I was last night
since our honeymoon. I hope to keep the momentum going
tonight since we both took vacation for the long weekend.
I mean, being more active does give you stamina. That
is true, it does. I took the advice of being

(41:13):
more intimate with my wife even outside the bedroom, and
was kissing her and playing around with her while we
were making breakfast today. When I heard a voice shout
from upstairs, Daddy, you said, we're not supposed to touch
girls like that. I ended up having a When a
man and a woman are married and love each other
so much, it's okay to do that because that's what

(41:35):
leads to a baby conversation Today, I could still see
the shock in his eyes, but it had to happen
so I can feel more comfortable kissing my wife and
squeezing her butt in front of my son. Maybe a
squeezerr butt in front of her son. Mamie, we hold
on an hour and the kiss is fine. I don't
know if we didn't do that, Na. I'm so glad
my wife does not have depression and that we were

(41:56):
able to work together to put a plan to get
back her health. She was showing me pictures of power couples,
saying in a year or two, she wants to take
a picture like that together. So I'm so glad she
has that goal in mind.

Speaker 6 (42:06):
I'm so happy because I know she's going to be
seeing so many results, Yeah, by just doing little different
things in her day to day, but also just like.

Speaker 3 (42:13):
The change in their relationship already and talking about this,
bringing this in the open and having this kind of
excitement about, you know, this journey that she's going to
go on. Stuff about feeling good together as a couple,
feeling good as a family, feeling good individually is really exciting.
I think they're on a great track.

Speaker 4 (42:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:32):
I love this. Yeah, I also feel ashamed. When I
was starting, it was to become healthy, but I like
the physical changes I saw in my body. And for
my model, I picked Leonidas from three hundred what but
my wife, who was restarted on her fitness journey, printed
out this picture of a husband and wife who were
both fit. It just goes to show who loves who
more and I definitely need to work on that. Anyways,

(42:54):
thank you so much for the support Reddit. I really
appreciate the help and look forward to helping my wife
with her journey. Together we can live a long and
wonderful life seeing our son grow older and as future kids,
and that's you know, that's a really great kind of
reason to go on the health journey.

Speaker 4 (43:09):
Exactly.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
I think it is really important to understand why you're
going on a health journey, because if it's just to
be like super you know, like to be like a
celebrity type body or like have that like thinness and stuff,
it probably is not going to last. You know, it's
not going to have longevity, You're not going to have
the motivation to keep it going.

Speaker 6 (43:30):
But having this intention of I want to be able
to feel better might feel better and grandkids.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
Yeah, like I want to be able to play with
my kids, and that does not has nothing to do
with weight or like thinness. That just has to do
with you know, activity. Yeah, it's like, do I have mobility.
That's why a lot of you know, older people who
are still very healthy and stuff, have focused a lot
on like their mobility and they're you know, making sure

(43:56):
that they're flexible and stuff as they age.

Speaker 5 (43:59):
My husband is in love with his best friend, so
I befriended her a plot and did thickens. This happened
a while back. All ages are at the time it happened.
My female twenty seven husband male thirty of five years.
Steve had a female best friend long before we met.

Speaker 3 (44:16):
We'll call her Amy.

Speaker 4 (44:18):
By the way.

Speaker 3 (44:18):
This comes from user clown chowder.

Speaker 5 (44:21):
Pies and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay storytime subburt it. So.
I met Amy pretty early on in the relationship, and
I thought the girl best friend thing was kind of weird,
but she seemed cool. I wasn't interested in a friendship
between her and me, but I figured we could be civil.
Steve had other friends, but more text every now and
then friends. Amy was the only one he saw in person.

Speaker 1 (44:42):
Often.

Speaker 5 (44:42):
She even included me on activities occasionally, like movie nights
at her house or trips to the park, et cetera.
I felt more secure because of how kind she was.
The security washed down the drain every time it sprung up. Though,
Steve always looked at Amy in a way he never
looked at me.

Speaker 3 (44:56):
Ooh, with a yearn a long earning. Well, why aren't
they together?

Speaker 5 (45:01):
Then?

Speaker 3 (45:01):
If you love her so much, why don't you marry her?

Speaker 5 (45:03):
He seemed so genuinely happy when she talked, more animated
and excited. He also tried to get me to cut
my hair to be more like hers at one point
and diet to her natural color. Amy had shoulder length
brown hair, beautiful on her, but not the look for me.
I had longish hair that I frequently died fun colors.
He also would drop plans with me at the drop
of a hat if the opportunity to spend time with

(45:25):
Amy came up. Not every time, but one that stands
out from memory is we were about to take a
trip to visit my family, a full day trip if
we don't stop anywhere on the way, and before we left,
he'd texted Amy to see.

Speaker 3 (45:36):
What she was doing that day.

Speaker 5 (45:38):
Mmmmm, She said nothing, and he insisted we stop by
to see her before we go. Amy did not know
our plans. We ended up spending the whole day there.
I rescheduled my family visit. That's actually crazy. Uh If now,
if I had been more vocal at the time, maybe
it would have been different. But I didn't and still
don't like arguing in front of people, and bringing it

(45:59):
up up in front of Amy felt mortifying At the time.
I chalked it up to me being too self conscious
and overworrying. Steve wasn't outright cruel to me or anything,
but the little things and comments tore me down. This
went on for our whole marriage. One night, Steve and
I were drinking at home and watching bad Christmas movies
Love the Ginger, dead Man and such. I got in

(46:20):
my feelings out of nowhere, as I often do when
I've been drinking, and asked him if he ever had
feelings for Amy, and he admitted to it. Oo said
he'd tried to get her to be with him multiple
times since middle school and she always rejected him. I
asked him if she wanted to be together if he
would want to be with her instead of me, He
said something along the lines of stop making up hypothetical

(46:43):
questions like that. That'll just hurt your feelings, Boddy.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
Hypothetical questions like that are like would you love me
if I was a worm? Yeah, that's a hypothetical. This
is just what you This is just true.

Speaker 4 (46:54):
This is real.

Speaker 3 (46:55):
This is the real world, a new real world. Like
that girl.

Speaker 5 (46:59):
I cry, we fought. I told him to leave. He
called Amy and asked her to pick him.

Speaker 3 (47:04):
Oh no, uh.

Speaker 5 (47:06):
When she got there, I, having succumbed to the drink
like a skink, went outside in a not friendly way
and accused her of ruining my marriage.

Speaker 3 (47:15):
Knowingly.

Speaker 5 (47:15):
There was a three way heated argument that I'm fuzzy
on the details of because a I had been drinking
and be even sober. When I'm heated in an argument,
I tend to erase things. And see, this didn't exactly
happen yesterday. At the end of it, Amy ended up
taking Steve to his mom's house. She came back to
me sitting in the yard, crying. This is already too long,

(47:37):
so I'll skip ahead of it. Amy knew vaguely that
Steve had feelings for her, but thought it was a
weird crush that would go away. She liked me, but
thought I was cold, so didn't try to force a friendship.
She didn't know a lot of the stuff Steve had
said to me as far as comparing me to her,
and was pissed about it when she learned. She let
him know that she wasn't and never would be interested
in him romantically.

Speaker 3 (47:56):
He said, you understood.

Speaker 5 (47:58):
Steve and I did a temporary separation that led to divorce.
Amy and I became friends. She was and is a
great friend to me. Oh whoa wait, whoa whoa wait what?

Speaker 3 (48:08):
Sorry? They just got divorced. Didn't we just get divorced
from her husband?

Speaker 4 (48:11):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (48:11):
They did a separation that led to a divorce that
led to a divorce That was like a sentence fung.
I thought this was gonna be way bigger thing.

Speaker 5 (48:17):
No, we knew, you know, way, we knew who was coming.

Speaker 3 (48:20):
I didn't know what happened that fast. I thought that
would be the climax of the story. But that was
just like an offhand remark.

Speaker 5 (48:26):
I think the climax is gonna be that she becomes
best friends with Amy. My friendship with Amy is almost
worth everything Steve put me through.

Speaker 3 (48:33):
She's the sister I never had.

Speaker 5 (48:34):
She is still friends with Steve, but in the text
every now and then way, I'm more self confident now,
no real long term relationships since the Big Dufist, but
now I'm invited to every movie night, in trivia game
and camping trip with Amy. So I'm not at all
bothered by the lack of a romantic partner.

Speaker 3 (48:51):
What what that say? What? What did we just learn?
What friends are?

Speaker 5 (48:56):
I mean, it's never a great thing to put all
your eggs in one basket. I get being committed to
a relationship, but like you should, you know, have more
than just your partner in your life in terms of
h a connection with someone yeah, or being able to
go do activities a bee. You gotta find people to
bebs with to do do Sorry, this was so long,

(49:18):
A little rushed at the end because I realized I
was getting book lenked. I guess that's why the divorce
was one sentence short book. Thanks for reading this if
you did. If you're married to a Steve, there are
better things out there for you, darling, Darling, darling, And
there's an edit. This blew up way more than I
thought an old story would. Before the main update. I
would like to say thank you to all the supportive comments.
I'm so sorry that the world has made you so cynical.

(49:40):
To the people who comment and ed messaged me accusing
me of my story being fake. Seriously, even if it was,
why take the time to comment or message. And also
I am sorry to anyone with a Steve in their
lives and proud of the others who got rid of them.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
Now onto the main update. Okay, main update.

Speaker 5 (49:58):
Steve has found this post good. Good for Steve. Amy
sent me screenshots, not sure how to post them. I
will be trying to figure that out. Someone made a
TikTok video and he saw it. Not super eventful, but
something new on the old story. I considered deleting it
to avoid drama, but I decided instead to include everyone
on the news if they'd like it. I may still
delete it if it becomes too much. I just don't

(50:19):
want to give him the power over me deleting it.
While a little frazzled honestly as he is, and we
have some comments. Oooo, comment one, it's already crappy when
you marry someone while you're in love with someone else,
but to keep that person in your life and prioritize
them over your spouse's heinous, completely unacceptable. Comment to this
was uplifting. Surprisingly, So you don't feel bad for Steve, then, Oh,

(50:42):
I kind of feel sorry for him, but not in
a way that thinks you should regret anything, because it
all happened very naturally. I just feel you can't help
how you feel. But he was bad at hiding it
if he even tried. Hey, you can help not marrying
a woman. Yeah, if you feel you're in love with
someone else.

Speaker 3 (50:57):
Friend or maybe like mm, I don't know, create some
distance with your friend. Op replies to put it the
best way I can.

Speaker 5 (51:04):
The reason I don't feel bad for Steve is because
I realize he did this to himself. Oh, I loved him,
he didn't love me. I left, and I'm happier now.
I worked on myself and didn't stay miserable. He loved Amy,
Amy didn't love him. He clung around and made not
only himself miserable but also me for a while. And
a reply, did he say he didn't love you or
did you just interpret his according to your story? Actual

(51:28):
answer of I've always had feelings for her, and I'd
want to be with her if we weren't together, as
him not giving a crap about you. I think a
lot of people fool themselves into thinking they are the
only one for their partner and then make rash decisions
when they find out that they've fallen in love before
everyone settles, and statistically it's highly improbable you'd be someone's
first and only choice. This is a lonely a lone

(51:51):
individuals much deserves. Let's give him another one hundred down
votes because I'm sorry. What you should not go into
a marriage, a committed relationship with the mindset that, oh,
I don't know you're good enough.

Speaker 3 (52:06):
You should not be settling for your partner. You should
be finding someone that you actually excites you well and
let you want to have a like that you can
see yourself in a relationship with for a long period
of time.

Speaker 5 (52:19):
If you're marrying them, well, oh god, there's more comment here. Okay,
This same dumb comment says, but congratulations on letting jealousy
of a friendship that has existed for longer than your
entire knowledge of this guy's existence f up a marriage
that judging by your lack of complaints of the contrary,
seemed perfectly fine.

Speaker 3 (52:37):
Man did not read the very short story. Yeah it
wasn't that, Bob the guy.

Speaker 5 (52:44):
The guy just read the part where they got divorced
in it his entire memory divorced.

Speaker 3 (52:50):
He read the opening paragraph and then he skipped to
He's like, oh it is too long, skipped to the
we got divorced, and he was like, what, you got
divorced because he has a friend.

Speaker 5 (53:00):
Mm oh and Amy is a crap friend. I'm laughing
at that. Y'all should be together comments, because you kind
of do deserve each other. Oh, Pee replies, Yeah, I
understand what you mean, and maybe I wasn't super clear,
and maybe if I was, you would still have the
same opinion. I'm not upset that he had feelings for Amy,
someone else commented, and I agree, you can't control who

(53:21):
you have feelings for. But I feel the way everything
went down marrying me without ever telling me he had feelings,
constantly putting me his wife on the back burner for Amy,
making me feel like a second place trophy even before
I knew about his feelings for her, trying to get
me to change my looks to be more like her
et cetera. Was not how I deserved to be treated
and was horrific looking back. If it was me today,

(53:42):
I would never let any of that happen, let alone
how long I let it happen. And if Amy had
chosen to remain as close to him, I don't know
if we would be as close. I want to say
yes because of how we are right now, but right
in the middle of everything, I probably would have just
called it a wash and not talked to her. If
tomorrow she decides she wants to be close with him again,
I wouldn't try to stop. I wouldn't be around him,
even if that makes me seem like a bitter child.

(54:03):
It would have to be separate visits at separate times,
but I wouldn't want to lose her over it.

Speaker 3 (54:08):
A very emotionally astute response from OPI comment number three.

Speaker 5 (54:12):
I like this, but kind of not sure why Amy
was still in touch with him after the whole deal
and even during your marriage. Seemed a little odd, but hey,
if it worked out, I'm glad. Opie says they've been
friends for a long time. I guess it's hard to
cut off friendships like that without feeling anything. Mostly I
think she was disappointed in the way everything went down. Well, well,
well that's the end of that story.

Speaker 3 (54:31):
Don't married people unless you like in love with them.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
Hey, it's Sam, your ogi host.

Speaker 4 (54:36):
Here.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
We're going get back to the stories. But here's three
minutes bads from our sponsor.

Speaker 3 (54:40):
I suddenly had a family.

Speaker 5 (54:41):
It all happened so fast, and now they're burying you.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
And oh, folks, this is from the r slash Okay
Storytime subreddette, directly from one of you guys. I a
thirty one year old male, married my wife, a thirty
one year old female, two months ago. But how it
happened was not exactly planned because she had a cryptic
preg And see what is that? I'll tell you in
a minute. By the way, this comes from Whole Call
seventy nine to ten, And if you want to submit

(55:05):
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime
separate at so real quick. From my knowledge, a cryptic
pregnancy is when you don't know you're pregnant and then
you either find out like right before or when you're
giving birth. Oh, which is scary thought that you cannot
know that you're pregnant.

Speaker 5 (55:22):
That's one of the most horrifying things I've ever heard
in my life.

Speaker 3 (55:25):
My wife did not know she was pregnant until less
than two weeks before he was born. That's insane. It
wasn't until two days before he was born that we
found out that she was thirty eight weeks pregnant.

Speaker 5 (55:36):
Oh my god, is that How many weeks are you supposed.

Speaker 3 (55:39):
To be around thirty eight?

Speaker 5 (55:41):
How? What?

Speaker 3 (55:42):
That's crazy? How so? My fiance at the time and
I had been together eight years and planned to get
married one year in the future. We are both dedicated
professionals and live together. We've talked about having children and
decided that it wasn't a good time for us. That
we might try one day, but nowhere in the near future.
One day, I was driving a work my thoughts drifting aimlessly,
and I received a phone call from my wife. I

(56:04):
was expecting the usual conversation. Instead, she was nervous and
inform me of those two life altering words, I'm pregnant.
I was shocked. We used protection. We're very careful. She's
also on birth control, and we've never had a close
call in the past. We kind of thought having a
child would be difficult for her apparently incredibly easy.

Speaker 6 (56:23):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (56:23):
Little did I know I would be out a labor
and delivery room in less than two weeks. My wife
got an appointment with her doctor. They performed a blood
test and found that she was four to eight weeks pregnant.
That sounds like it was wrong. When I came home,
we found time for an honest discussion about our unplanned
journey into parenthood. We acknowledged that the timing wasn't ideal
given our recent home purchases and impending nuptials. Yet we

(56:46):
realized that with love and determination, a week could adapt
and make it work. At least we had time to
adjust to this unexpected twist in our lives. Little did
we know what was about to unfold. One week later,
on Wednesday, I took a half day off work to
join my wife her first ultrasound appointment. We were expecting
to find out the due dates. We found out that
she was in her third trimester and thirty eight weeks pregnant,

(57:09):
with a due date of ten days in the future. Surprise,
you guys, don't even have time to worry your Paris.
You're gonna be Paris right away. So wait, what happens
the whole time. So what if she'd been drinking and stuff, Well,
that's the danger, that is the danger. Got yeah, oh
my god, yeah no. My wife burst into tears. I
did my best to hold my composure and reassure her

(57:30):
that everything was going to be all right. Like it
wasn't the biggest event in our lives. We were completely
unprepared for. We decided to fast forward our nutstuls. Around
ten o'clock that night, we visited a courthouse and legally
bound ourselves in matrimony, signing our names on the official documents.
I turned to my wife, reminding her that when I proposed,
my intentions were sincere. I knew without a doubt that

(57:52):
I wanted to spend my life with her, and that's
what really mattered to me. That night, I had to
travel for work. I was up all night, and not
in the way I expected I would be on my
wedding night. Ruh. At work, I informed my boss of
my situation and that I could have to unexpectedly leave
at any time because my fiance, it was now my wife,
could go into labor at any moment. That was a

(58:13):
difficult conversation. That night, I came home from work. I
have a two hour commute and worked ten hours, four
days a week. My wife was exhausted. She had to
do nine months worth of doctor's appointments in one day.
That is stuff. We both fell asleep quickly. About three
hours later, she woke me up and said her water broke.
She was having contractions and had to go to the hospital.

Speaker 5 (58:33):
Nine hours later, nine hours later, nine hours after your
nine months worth of appointments in one day. Ay, it's time,
it's time.

Speaker 3 (58:41):
Now. I hope you had a full night's sleep. We
timed the contractions and found that they were only five
minutes apart, and rushed to the hospital. We didn't even
have a go bag or car seat, nothing. My wife's
labor was only three hours and she did not get
an epidural because it happened so fast. Girl speed run
that she speed ran.

Speaker 5 (58:59):
That. What by the time they get home, the baby's
going to have like a college diploma.

Speaker 2 (59:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (59:04):
I remember thinking, Wow, I can't believe this is happening
so fast, but that seemed to be the trend before
I knew it. I held my son for the first
time and it didn't even hit me. I was still
in shock and disbelief, but I was happy and immensely
proud of my wife. Yeah, as you should be.

Speaker 5 (59:19):
Yees speed ran giving birth.

Speaker 3 (59:22):
That's crazy. We stayed in the hospital for three days
and found that my son was healthy. I was so
nervous something would be wrong because my wife had no
prenatal care. For those three days, I took care of
my son while my wife was still recovering. I did
not rest. I was either preparing our house for his
arrival or taking care of my son. I literally had
nothing ready. I know fathers often say that they are
not ready, but I literally wasn't. Somehow I managed to

(59:44):
get the essentials with help from friends. It was time
to go home, and that scared me the most. The
hospital was just going to let us go with this
surprise baby and wished me good luck. The drive home
was overwhelming. All of a sudden, I had a family
of my own. I'd never driven so slow in my life.
Next three days, I let my wife sleep. I did
not sleep for five days straight. Dude, what welcome to baby.

(01:00:07):
I took care of my son at night and worked
on essential tasks all day. There was just too much
to do. It got to the point where I could
not function anymore. Yeah, I mean you're past the delirious state.
I've never been so tired and delirious in my life. Yeah,
you're in like hallucinating state. What's the longest is it
like ten days or something?

Speaker 5 (01:00:24):
Oh, there's some creepy pasta about the Russian sleep experiment.
I personally think you could just never sleep. That's wrong,
don't do that.

Speaker 3 (01:00:30):
Well, yeah, you could do that until you pass away.
You could sleep, and it would You should be short.

Speaker 5 (01:00:34):
Although it is crazy that scientists don't know exactly why
we need sleep, but they just know we do.

Speaker 3 (01:00:39):
Our brains are just so active. Finally, my wife was
feeling a little bit better and let me get rest
for one night. I did not know to save my
PTO from work, and I only had one week. They
didn't even give you freaking mind. Oh my god, they
didn't give you a paternity leave. It sounds like the
worst and the worst. They were literally constant things that

(01:01:00):
were important and needed to get done. Even with my
wife's help, there just wasn't enough time. My wife and
I were in survival mode. I look back and don't
understand how we were able to function. We didn't have
much help My family was away on a cruise and
had quite a surprise when they got cell service again,
but we managed. I was about to say, where's your family?
To be fair, they didn't have any knowledge that you were.

Speaker 5 (01:01:21):
Having a child, another nightmare element of this scenario.

Speaker 3 (01:01:25):
Now it is two months later, and things are just
starting to settle down. I realize I am starting to
process what happened. For the last two months. I've just
been in survival mode, and now it's hitting me how
much happened in one week. It's like my mind couldn't
process how fast reality was. It feels like I ran
a three second quarter mile. I did have a slight
mental breakdown recently. Fair, Fair, I'm breaking down right now.

Speaker 5 (01:01:50):
Uh, I'm not really, I'm just my eyes are watery
because I think I'm tired.

Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
Aw, what something to drink?

Speaker 5 (01:01:58):
This is I never you I should be afraid of this.
Now I'm going to be just.

Speaker 3 (01:02:03):
Yeah, Every every couple of weeks, you just tell your
partner go get a test.

Speaker 5 (01:02:07):
You make sure you not secretly pregnant.

Speaker 3 (01:02:09):
I'm sure secretly. We don't know, don't we never know?

Speaker 4 (01:02:12):
How do we know?

Speaker 3 (01:02:14):
I feel like most people think that time has passed
and everything's okay now. But it's lately that it's been
hitting me so much harder, how much my life changed.
I love my wife and son, but I cannot help
look it back and feel like I should have done
more and been more prepared. I think every parent feels
that way at times. Now. I know what everyone's going
to ask, how did you not know? That's the number
one question I get, and my wife gets as well.

(01:02:35):
But there was literally no signs. My wife had no
morning sickness, did not show. My wife even claims to
have had her normal cycle the whole time. Yeah, that
is a case for there are certain women who will
have cryptic pregnancies and still get their period. Just two
weeks before my son was born, we had no idea
he even existed. Is it wrong that, now that things
worked out, I feel the weight of what happened? No,

(01:02:56):
not at all. That's the thing is, when you go
through something so crazy like this, where you literally don't
get to rest for a moment, it doesn't hit you
until you get that moment of like, oh okay, I
get to breathe now, WHOA, my life is insane? Like
that's okay, You're you're coming to terms with it and
that's fine.

Speaker 5 (01:03:15):
Yeah, you're not doing anything wrong. Yeah, I'm just I'm
in awe of you.

Speaker 3 (01:03:20):
Yeah, I'm like, oh, he give yourself a break. It
does not. You don't have to be like overjoyed all
the time. You're allowed to take a minute and say, wow,
this is really not how I expected my life to go.
And also, you know, mourn for the time you lost
in preparation. That's okay, but just like no, you know
you're doing the best you can take it one day
at a time. Comments coming one. It isn't wrong to

(01:03:40):
feel the overwhelming feeling of everything that happened, but try
do you enjoy it and get settled in. I have
four kids now, and I can honestly say you're never ready.
Even after the first one. You both had a blessing
in disguise. Our first baby. Was worrying about everything leading
up to the birth, finances, getting the house ready, trying
to get us ready very short window may have been exhausting,
but in the long run, you see at least six

(01:04:00):
months of stress. Even when you have all those months
to prepare, it really is close to having all the time.
For some reason, there isn't time to get everything done.
Kudos to you guys forgetting it figured out even faster.
The no sleep, no time off autopilot you have to
go into would have happened anyway. I had to work
on and off the day our first was born. Wow.
I worked right across from the hospital. I had to
go back and forth because her labor was so long

(01:04:22):
and my work was not prepared for me to be gone.
Yet that this is me off at work, does not
you know, give proper paternity maternity you know, leave. It
should be criminal, should be. It is amazing what we
can do when we have to try to enjoy it.
And folks, that is the end of that story.

Speaker 4 (01:04:40):
Wow,

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