My friend INTRODUCED me to a guy… now I’m losing my favorite coffee shop! - r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP2179 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John.

Speaker 2 (00:00):
This is your og okay Storytime podcast hosts, and we.

Speaker 3 (00:04):
Have some rocking stories for you coming up.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
But before you rock out with your socks out, I
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keeping the show rocking and rolling.

Speaker 4 (00:14):
My friend introduced me to a guy. Now I'm losing
my favorite coffee shop.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
Well, that just sucks. Not again.

Speaker 4 (00:21):
I live alone in a city and I've had some
trouble making friends. I go to the same cafe every
day and the owners have taken on almost a parental
role since my family's so far away. I'm close with
them and I trust them and they care about my
well being. So when one of the owners, Sarah, gave
me the number of another regular Derek, I trusted her judgment.
By the way, this comes from user wrong competition, and
if you want to submit your own stories, submit them

(00:42):
to the r slash Okay Storytime separate it. I know
Derek a little bit from spending time in the cafe.
It's a small place and we both sit at the
counter so we can chat with the owners. Usually we
sit next to each other. We've chatted about movies. He
once helped me with my language homework, and he's generally
in the cafe, hanging out most afternoon, sometimes reading, sometimes
working on his computer. He's also friends with the owners

(01:03):
of the cafe and has always seemed like a nice person,
so I certainly wasn't against getting to know him better.
When Sarah gave me his number yesterday, she was selling
him pretty hard. I asked her about the book she
was reading and she said, Derek lent it to me,
And when I asked about a card game, she said,
Derek taught it to me, so I said, okay, I
get it. I'll text him. I texted Derek after I
left the cafe, and I thought it was maybe a

(01:24):
bad idea, because if things went south, it would be
uncomfortable to see him in the cafe almost every day.
But it seemed like Derek had already set things in
motion by asking Sarah to slip me his phone number
in the first place. Derek told me that he could
use more friends in the neighborhood and that he'd like
to get to know me outside of the cafe, so
he went for a few adult sodas. So last night

(01:44):
I learned that Derek is thirty one. Yay, unemployed boo
and he sees passed away people. He's a full on weirdo,
which is fine. I still had fun hanging out with him,
and I didn't feel unsafe for a threaten until I
got home. In the ten minutes it took for me
to get into my apartment and get ready for bed,
Derek sent me about twenty messages about how he wanted
to kiss me and asking if he could come upstairs.

(02:05):
I told him no, thank you for a fun evening,
good night, and went to bed. My phone overnight and
when I woke up I plugged it in. He had
sent me more messages confronting me about blocking his number,
which I didn't do. These messages were over the top
and intense, and honestly they worry me a bit. It's
obvious to me that I need to back away from
this person, but right now I have no idea how
to do this gracefully. I wouldn't mind a friendship, but

(02:28):
he's made it clear that he's interested in a romantic relationship.
I just want to be able to get coffee and
enjoy myself without any awkwardness. What can I do? What
should I say to Derek? And should I tell Sarah
that this guy freaked me out. We have a small update.
Thank you for your advice. I just went to have
some coffee and talk with Sarah. I didn't tell her everything,
but I told her I found Derek a little strange
and she asked me what happened, and I told her

(02:49):
what he said about seeing ghosts. I mentioned in one
of my comments that Sarah shares some of Derek's interest
in spirituality and mindfulness. We talked a little more about this.
She's a very open minded person. Sarah knows Derek believes
he sees and hears ghosts and said she wasn't sure
if it was true, but she didn't believe he was deranged.
I probably misunderstood some of what he was telling me
about seeing passed away people because we weren't speaking English. Okay.

(03:13):
She asked me overall how I felt the date went,
and I told her that he was getting pretty intense.
He's too old for me, and I'm feeling a little uncomfortable.
She told me that she thinks Derek is a good boy,
but agreed that he can be a little over the
top and told me to let her know if he
did anything else that made me uncomfortable. Do we tell Sarah,
I think.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
Yeah, what's what's Sarah's relation to Derek again?

Speaker 4 (03:32):
He just goes to the cafe as well, like their friends,
like their friends, and he's he's like a regular.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (03:37):
I feel like you could like how Opie, how careful
Opie is being around Sarah makes it feel like Sarah's
like related to him like a mom or something or
like that.

Speaker 4 (03:47):
Very it's very possible that Sarah's known Derek longer than
Opi because he's been going there longer. He's a little
bit older, okay, and they share the same interest and
maybe they have a tighter connection than Opie and Sarah do.
And she doesn't want maybe she doesn't want to ruin
that relationship very much.

Speaker 3 (04:01):
Yeah, I guess so.

Speaker 5 (04:02):
Or maybe she's worried that like she won't be believed.
I guess it's like they know Derek Moore or something.
But yeah, I think it's totally fine, and tell Sarah like, yeah, actually,
there were more things that made me uncomfortable.

Speaker 4 (04:12):
Yeah, the fact that Sarah's asking, Ope, did you do
anything else that made you uncomfortable?

Speaker 3 (04:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (04:17):
Like is this more?

Speaker 4 (04:18):
Is this common?

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Ye?

Speaker 2 (04:19):
So?

Speaker 4 (04:19):
And we have some comments Common Number one screenshot the text.
Tell Sarah about your date and your reservations about his
mental well being, and show her the screenshots. She is
the owner, she has the right to refuse service if
she feels someone is a threat to other customers. You
also say they have a parental role to you. Someone
in that role would likely want to protect you. Don't
blame her for setting you up. It doesn't sound like

(04:40):
you took much convincing, so his facade of normalcy must
be pretty good. And don't demand she banned him from
the store, But explain that you aren't comfortable around him
and let her take the lead and see what she does.
Good comment as for Derek, lock him. Don't try to
be his friend after he has already pestered you to
this extent. Oh P says, I'll let her know what happened.
I feel guilty, some like it's my fault for letting

(05:01):
this happen. I'm sure Sarah thought we'd been a good pair.
She wouldn't have known about the huge age difference, and
she never would have sent me on a date with
a guy that she didn't think was a good person.
And we have an update. So I had been meeting
to post an update about this for a while, but
never got around to it. And then last night something
really big happened. And I think it's really important that
you guys keep in mind. This is all happening in

(05:22):
my second language. Nobody involved in this story speaks English
except Sarah a little bit. So where we left off
with my last posts, I had had a conversation with
Sarah about Derek that made me feel better. Derek later
reached out to me apologize, said he was a little
wasted too much on an empty stomach, and that he
was embarrassed about his actions. I'm sorry, you guys, but
I agreed to hang out with him again, this time

(05:44):
over coffee. Things were fine, and he further integrated me
into the neighborhood by introducing me to the people he
knows and inviting me to join other neighbors for drinks
and such. He opened up to me about a traumatic
event that happened to him in the past and about
his mental illness. He brought me around his family and
his nieces, who were all lovely. Other people seemed to
adore him. I really liked all of this, and we

(06:04):
quickly fell into a romantic relationship. What I guess the
second chance was well worth it, I guess. Derek seemed
to be almost flaunting the relationship around the neighborhood. I
had one other conversation with Sarah where she asked me
some questions about how I felt about him. I explained
that I liked him, but felt confused and that he
was moving quickly. She told me in English, so I

(06:27):
know she was serious, take your time. Soon after this,
Derek broke things off with me, very suddenly and rather forcefully.
I found his sudden change of heart very confusing and upsetting.
A week after he broke up with me, I asked
him to come over to my apartment to talk about
what happened, and we agreed to remain friends since we'd
have to see each other around the neighborhood now. I
spoke all about this with Sarah, who told me that

(06:49):
she didn't know anything about it and said that she
was sorry. About a week after I agreed to remain
friends with Derek, he invited me out for a drink,
gave me a necklace, and we got a little bit intimate.
But he clearly told me do not talk about me
at the bar, which I found strange. What is going on?
What is this story where this story was making sense,
and now I'm confused.

Speaker 5 (07:10):
Yeah, I feel like maybe he's got someone else suddenly
and now he can't.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
He's cheating with Ope.

Speaker 4 (07:17):
Perhaps very possible, but this is again you just show
I think why OP was so like open to it,
because you're like, oh, wow, he's actually like a popular guy. Yeah,
Like he's a talk of the town. People know him,
and I like that. Yeah, and I yearn for, you know,
just to get make this more my home, which makes sense.
Why rush into the relationship just like that, It just
it kind of jumped there.

Speaker 5 (07:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
Ah, it feels weird.

Speaker 4 (07:42):
Something's not adding up, feels weird. This is getting longer
than I wanted it to be, So I'm going to
jump to last night. Sarah and the other woman who
owns a cafe are a couple. They've been together for
ten years, and they invited me to spend Christmas Eve
with them since they knew I would be alone. I
brought up Derek, of course, and asked him why they
thought that he wouldn't want me to talk about him
in the cafe. Sylvia, which I'm assuming is Sarah's partner.

(08:03):
Sylvia played dumb until we had some privacy, and then
she revealed to me that she and Derek had had
a relationship while he was seeing me. At first, he
had lied to her and said that we were strictly platonic,
but that lie quickly fell apart. Sarah said that she
wanted to talk to me about it, but never had
the opportunity because we were always in the cafe. She
apologized that some days she had acted cole towards me,
which I hadn't noticed, and she said that after a

(08:25):
few weeks, she had insisted that Derek choose either her
or meat. Apparently he chose her. Soon after that, she
ended things with him completely. The next evening, he invited
me out for a drink to try and rekindle things.
By the way, you can rekindle things and rekindle with
us with full episodes with stories just like this. Just
go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, or your favorite podcast

(08:46):
app and search Okay Storytime, where we have a plethora
of amazing stories and some crazy stories and some weird
stories just like this one. Uh, there's a little bit
more to this story. But Angie, what the heck is
going on here?

Speaker 3 (08:59):
I don't have a lot of hope for it.

Speaker 5 (09:00):
I don't, but I hope that Opie like or I
want ope to not want to be friends with this person. Yeah,
but I have a feeling that she's gonna forgive because.

Speaker 4 (09:11):
She has other support system.

Speaker 5 (09:13):
Yeah, it's seemly she did that when they started dating.
I'm glad that Derek got dumped by Sylvia because, yeah,
he doesn't deserve either of these people.

Speaker 4 (09:22):
It does seem like Opie is a person who easily
forgives because again, one night she's like he was really
weird and all that stuff, and the next time you're like, yeah,
I'm into him.

Speaker 3 (09:31):
Yeah, she doesn't seem that like confrontational.

Speaker 5 (09:34):
Yeah, Harvey conversation hard for standing up for herself probably,
but this is a great time to practice that.

Speaker 4 (09:39):
Yeah, don't get back together with Derek. Very obvious. Yeah,
what Sarah did was kind of messed up. She She's like,
I didn't have the opportunity to tell you, especially if
you're going to the cafe, I don't know every day,
I mean to tell me. You didn't have an opportunity
to like five seconds or like a minute, like hey,
Derek shooting on you exactly with Sylvia or whoever. Yeah,
very questionable. But let's get to the end of the story.

(10:00):
So Sarah apologized to me. She said she felt stupid
and like a bad person, but that she had been
feeling old and unattractive lately. She is fifty. I told
her that I wasn't upset with her at all, just shocked,
and that I was sorry. I had been so oblivious
to the real situation, so I definitely didn't see that coming.
I'm not going to confront Derek about this. I'm just
going to let it go and move on. Sorry for
acting like an idiot. I wish I could say I've

(10:21):
learned something, but I probably haven't. Merry Christmas, everybody, and
we have comments coming. Number one. Wait, wasn't Sarah the
one who set you guys up on a date while
she was I don't know, let's omit that one. Why
would she do that? These people sound strange. Ope, if
you love the coffee shop that much, by all means,
but I wouldn't be attending their family Christmases and being
all buddy buddy. Ope. Derek wasn't playing both of them.
Sarah and Derek were playing. Ope?

Speaker 5 (10:42):
What?

Speaker 4 (10:42):
I am so confused?

Speaker 5 (10:44):
I feel like we always get the most confusing stories
when we're in here.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
Why, I don't get it, no sense?

Speaker 4 (10:51):
Who was it supposed to be Sarah because it said Spee.

Speaker 5 (10:54):
Because you know, we didn't hear about Sarah Sarah, Sarah
and O and Derek were playing pee.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
I'm so confused. Maybe awful story.

Speaker 5 (11:04):
Yeah, maybe she was maybe Opie saying that meaning like
they never like told her. They were just kind of like, hey,
like we're just gonna be dating. But like Derek has
to choose.

Speaker 4 (11:15):
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, and.

Speaker 3 (11:17):
Don't get it. I have another flder is at the end.
That's the end.

Speaker 4 (11:20):
That's the whole story, the end of the whole story.
So it makes zero sense.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
My boyfriend lied about his life for three years.

Speaker 4 (11:27):
Now, uh, double it and make it six years.

Speaker 5 (11:30):
I'll try to make this as short as possible, but
it's going to be long as heck because there is
so much lying going on. My boyfriend and I have
been dating for almost three years, living together for two
We have a pretty good relationship, obviously with ups and downs,
but we make it work and are happy. By the way,
this comes from intelligent to add three four one two
and if you want to submit your own stories, go
to our slash Okay storytime. It's separddit A little background

(11:51):
on me and my boyfriend for context. I come from
a single parent home. My father was absent, My father
was Slash is by no means perfect, but she did
her best with what she we report. Life was never
easy for us, but we had each other since I
was pretty young. I wanted to pay her back someday.
I've worked incredibly hard to be able to do so.

Speaker 3 (12:08):
I've helped her.

Speaker 5 (12:09):
I help her financially as much as I can, and
regularly pay her bills and send her cash. I'm also
her only living child now, as my brother passed away
five years ago, which basically left me to help her.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
I don't care. I love my mother and the right
thing to do is to help her when she needs it.
But it is stressful.

Speaker 5 (12:25):
This is relevant because my boyfriend described coming from a
somewhat similar past, and it is something that we have
bonded over. Having the mutual experiences seemed to bring us closer.
He told me that he also helped his parents financially
and would often and we would often vent to each
other about the stress it brings. I'm not one to
confide to many people, so having someone who I felt
like actually understood me was meaningful to me.

Speaker 3 (12:46):
So here is where the lies come in.

Speaker 5 (12:48):
And I need someone to either tell me I'm not
crazy and this is effed up, or that I am
crazy and it isn't a huge deal.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
I'm fine with either.

Speaker 5 (12:55):
When we met, my boyfriend lived in a condo in
a pretty swanky part of the city. I live in
the northeast. He told me that he owned that apartment
in condo. I found this to be interesting slash odd
because he was twenty eight at the time, and I
know this property is upwards of sixty six hundred and
fifty thousand dollars on the low end, and he was
in an entry level job for only like two years,

(13:16):
so the numbers just didn't really add up. Whatever, maybe
he's good at saving. But then since living together, I
never once sought a piece of mail for mortgage payment,
electric bill, taxes, nothing, not for a two whole years.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
Very odd.

Speaker 5 (13:30):
Also, when we started living together, he didn't have his
room rented out in the former apartment yet, so he
was still responsible for the portion of the rent. He
would send a Venmo payment to his mother on the
first of every month for his portion. I don't own property,
but I can't think of a scenario where I would
venmo my mom to pay the mortgage on a property
I supposedly own. Getting more odd, he would then go
to his parents' house for an afternoon and come back

(13:52):
really upset. Usually when I would ask why, it was
because they were having financial problems and he needed to
help them out. I totally understood this and supported him.
He literally lee has cried on my shoulder.

Speaker 3 (14:01):
About this many times. He tried to start a company
years back and ended up getting into debt. Somehow.

Speaker 5 (14:06):
He told me that this debt was seventeen thousand dollars
and that he paid it off. I'm confused because I
met him only two to three years ago, after the
supposed debt occurred and the company dissolved, and it was
already paid off. He told me when he moved back
home after the business failed, he was seventeen k in
debt and living at his parents' house working at a
minimum wage job. How someone with a minimum wage job

(14:28):
pays off that much debt in three years, I'll never know.
We got into a fight a few weeks ago, and
I finally had enough and confronted him about these things.
Long story short, he doesn't help his parents. They actually
pay his phone bill, and this was all a lie.
He doesn't own that apartment, He didn't pay off that
debt from his company. He initially told me that his
parents helped pay it off, and then like three minutes

(14:49):
later he came clean and so that his business partner
paid it off.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
So I have.

Speaker 5 (14:53):
Literally no idea what the truth is here, and if anything,
in my eyes, his parents are the ones who are
financially supporting him. Now I'm dating a thirty one year
old man who doesn't pay his own phone bill, was
lying to me and or completely fabricating aspects of his
life for three years, and then, when confronted about it,
continue to make up lies and then come clean about
it five minutes later. I'm obviously concerned that he could

(15:15):
lie for this long about fundamentally important things like our
values and so on.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
I sincerely thought that I would marry this man. He
seems to understand me like no one else, and to
be a truly caring and genuine person. Now I'm having
a hard time rationalizing actually planning a life around someone
who would not only lie about their background and family,
et cetera, but also financial aspects. Aside from that, I
now can't tell what is the truth and what is
a lie.

Speaker 5 (15:39):
I've also noticed other things that he has lied about,
called him out on it, and he.

Speaker 3 (15:43):
Has denied it outright to my face.

Speaker 5 (15:45):
I see this as a form of gaslighting, as I
know I'm not wrong, but he is trying to convince
me otherwise.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
Am I overreacting? Is this a white lie that went haywire?

Speaker 5 (15:56):
Or is this actually a series of complete and utter
bs use to manipulate me? And also, isn't insane for
me to actually consider a life with this man?

Speaker 3 (16:04):
Any advice is appreciated. There are some.

Speaker 5 (16:06):
Comments, but oh boy, oh wow, I want to hear yours.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
This guy's a pathological liar. Yeah, why would why did
you even say these are little white lies? No, he's
been lying to you for three years straight about everything.

Speaker 3 (16:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (16:18):
But also you haven't met his family? Yeah, like you
have been three years in, three years in and you
and you haven't met his family. Would have been like, oh,
we're like we're supporting him, like, and you I would
have brought up like, oh so he owns a complex, right,
Like yeah, right. No, yeah, oh he says, you got
like he's helping you guys out, Like, how's that going? No, yeah, they.

Speaker 3 (16:35):
Would expose everything, probably why he didn't want them to
meet them.

Speaker 4 (16:38):
Yeah yeah, whoa, this is you are okay? First thing first, OPI,
you are not overreacting. This is all you think you
were dating somebody and you're dating a completely different person. Yeah,
lied to you consistently. You don't even know what you
said to yourself. You don't even know what's real and
what's not real.

Speaker 3 (16:56):
Exactly exactly. Yeah, No, this is so insane. You're again
definitely not in the wrong.

Speaker 5 (17:03):
This is complete a utter bs used to manipulate you,
because you know, if all this stuff isn't true, then
he was just agreeing with you for all this. Like,
you don't know this man, You don't know him any
like anymore. It is clearly everything is a lie, so.

Speaker 3 (17:18):
You don't know him. That means you don't know who
you want to marry in this situation anyway.

Speaker 4 (17:22):
Yeah, the idea of him is what you want to marry,
but that's not him, not him anymore at least we
that's what well we know. Yeah, and I I don't
want to like downplay anything, but I guarantee you to like,
because he related his trauma traumatic pass with your traumatic pass.
I don't want to downplay that, but he possibly lied
about that to like share that connection with you and
be like, oh, like he gets it, he gets me. Yeah,

(17:42):
this is I get him, I get he, We get
each other.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (17:46):
So I don't want to say he's lying about that,
but he could be potentially well lying about that time.

Speaker 5 (17:50):
I mean, it seems like he is because they pay
for like his This is ridiculous. I yeah, I think
it's definitely safe to say that he is lying about that.

Speaker 3 (17:59):
So oh my god, yea, yeah, who do you have
some comments?

Speaker 5 (18:01):
How?

Speaker 3 (18:02):
Number one says, this isn't a white lie.

Speaker 5 (18:04):
This is a huge web of lies on which he's
built the foundations of your relationship. I would forever be
wondering what else he's lied about. Get out, Oh, he says,
this is the issue for me. It honestly wouldn't be
as big of a deal if this wasn't like a
huge part of our relationship, bonding and confiding in one another.
I mean, I come from a harsh background, and I
had a difficult life growing up, and it was very

(18:24):
special to me to have someone who I thought could
at least mildly understand. I've also told him so many
painful and personal things while he was lying to me NonStop. Apparently, Okay,
so that seems like it's a big part of your relationship.

Speaker 4 (18:36):
I'm saying what I exactly said, like, your traumatic past
is your traumatic past. But he tried to relate everything.
He tried to relate to that, and you don't even
know that's real.

Speaker 5 (18:47):
That's insane, Yeah, because I mean, I'm sure there's more
to your relationship.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
This isn't the only thing.

Speaker 5 (18:51):
But if this is something that you connected about and
something that you valued him for, then that's one problem.
But again, the fact that he lied to you about
all of that is just like, there's no reason for
him to do that. But we do have an update.
My previous posts got more attention than expected, so I
figured I would update.

Speaker 3 (19:06):
Well, it's over.

Speaker 5 (19:07):
As many of you suggested, I couldn't possibly build my
life around someone who lied so pathologically good. I initially
agreed to work on the relationship provided that my ex
get therapy to work through why he felt so compelled
to lie about so many aspects of his life. I
also requested that he come clean to his parents, my parents,
and anyone else he lied to or embellished the truth to.
He agreed to this and seems genuinely interested in working

(19:28):
on things and himself. I really wanted it to work
out and was willing to accept that maybe he was
just wildly and scure, or had some attachment issues or
something that caused him to act this way. I waited
four months for the therapy and confessions to happen, and
they never did.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
Not.

Speaker 5 (19:42):
Surprisingly, for those of you who were confused about how
I didn't know that he did not own this apartment
for so long, or thought that I had never met
his parents, I had met them many many times. But yeah,
to be honest, they are pretty cold people who I
never really connected with that much and was definitely not
comfortable enough to be like.

Speaker 3 (19:59):
Hey, is not about the logical liar or is all
of this true?

Speaker 5 (20:02):
On top of that, he also told a lot of
these lies to his parents as well, so they wouldn't
have been keen to what I was talking about anyway.

Speaker 3 (20:09):
I got to the point.

Speaker 5 (20:10):
Where basically anything that came out of his mouth seems
like a lie, or at least a half truth to me. Also,
I lost respect for someone who could lie so easily
and then not even feel guilty enough or any remorse
come clean about it. I'm pretty honest, almost to a fault.
So the cognitive dissonance there that occurred from being with
someone who had basically opposite values for me was tough.

Speaker 3 (20:30):
And you know what's never tough.

Speaker 5 (20:33):
Going to iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple podcast, whatever, your favorite podcast stepp.

Speaker 3 (20:37):
Is and searching.

Speaker 5 (20:38):
Okay, story time and you're gonna find full episodes with
more stories just like this one.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
There is a little bit more to the story. But good.
I am glad they are broken up.

Speaker 4 (20:47):
You did it, you, you did the easiest thing. Yeah,
so proud of you. Yeah, we didn't have to tell
you. You already knew.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
You already did a job.

Speaker 4 (20:54):
Girl.

Speaker 5 (20:54):
I'm sure there were a lot of other things that
he was hiding, but I don't even care. I've been
single and living alone for a week. To be frank,
I'm killing it. I am now responsible for one hundred
percent of my rent and I barely have any savings left.
But I still feel like a giant weight has lifted
off my shoulders. Crazy how that works. I want to
Thank all the people who gave me the hard truth
straight up and encouraged me to leave. Even though it

(21:15):
was all coming from internet strangers, it still helps to
hear people tell you that.

Speaker 3 (21:19):
You deserve more than what you're getting.

Speaker 5 (21:20):
I'm so happy and I must be giving off a
much better buye because I've already had two dates and
been asked for my number a handful of time.

Speaker 3 (21:27):
I'm a server at a restaurant.

Speaker 5 (21:29):
I well, I sound like a weenery a hole, but God,
does it feel good to remember that you're not as
worthless as someone made you feel. Thanks Reddit, and if
any of you are in a relationship with someone who
is like this, get the f out and don't look back.

Speaker 4 (21:43):
Yeah for op Yes, positive positive ending there. Yeah he
got out of it. You that's crazy, Like you get sure,
it's been like a week, but imagine like a month ago,
You're like, I'm going to marry this guy. I want
to marry this guy. Yeah, that's wild. My girlfriend wants
to take a stressful job and I'm against it.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
I have to save you from the stress. Girl friend.

Speaker 4 (22:04):
We have been together for seven years now. She's twenty eight, female,
and it has been thinking about taking a stressful job
which will leave her with no time to do anything.
We did that before, when we were right out of
college and we didn't have any money at all. It
was hard. I twenty seven mail was able to handle
the soul destroying nature of sixty plus hours a week
a bit better than her. By the way, this comes

(22:24):
from user Revolutionary Exam forty five And if you want
to submit your own stories, submit them to the r
slash Okay Storytime subpret it. She was a mess. She
leaned a lot on me emotionally to get through it.
She was close to burnout. She was starting to become unhealthy.
She also had a habit on lashing out on me.
She always apologized, but I don't like being yelled at,
being yelled at else me up and those three years

(22:45):
were the only time we got into yelling matches. It was,
without a doubt, the worst years of my life. We
had to move from my job and she was able
to get a much less stressful job and higher pay job.
She became much more happier, I would hope, so a
lot less annoyed, and we were able to patch our
relationship In Are You Closer? I told her that if
she took that job, I would have to think about
where this relationship is going if I can't handle the
emotional turmoil that comes with it. I realized that it

(23:07):
was not the right thing to do, and I'm a
fool for letting my fears and panic take over make
a manipulive attempt to force her to not take the job.
I am planning to apologize for this. I thought we
had paid our dues and could try to climb the
ladder slowly, try to build our life slowly, get married
and start a family. We have talked about this and
she says she wants all the same things, but I
don't know anymore. She wants to take a job which

(23:28):
is really great pay and what has set set us
up for great things. We are really comfortable right now,
and even if she takes another less stressful job, it
would not be a huge difference. She is promising me
that she will handle it better this time. My emotional
reaction is not to trust her on this. I know
that is unfair, but she almost said the exact same
words when we were in the bad patch after fights.
But the thing is, if she doesn't, I don't think

(23:49):
I will have the courage to leave her when she
is struggling. I won't be able to deal with the guilt.
I don't know why she's doing this. We are doing well.
I know that she isn't a greedy or materialistic person.
She loves her workplace and culture. She has a scope
for promotions. She loves her work. It seems really odd
that she wants to switch all the all of a sudden,
especially to something which would be so destroying. When I

(24:09):
asked her about it, she said it is the money,
and I asked her if it is worth the money.
She just shrugged and changed the topic. Someone pointed out
that it could be something that may have happened to
her at her current workplace. I really fear I have
f things up due to setting an ultimatum and hurt
her feelings a lot. I feel like a crappy boyfriend.
She was willing to move for me, even when she
was reluctant to do it. She just pointed out that
I am placing my career above hers and that I

(24:31):
didn't get to dictate what she did with her career.
And we have comments. Yeah again, it's it's the thing
of how you went about that conversation, and you know
this is like this is about me, not you. It's
like what about how is this going to work for us?
Kind of thing? Yeah, And you know last time again
you did have a brief conversation about it, but giving
her the ultimatum, it just doesn't work. Man.

Speaker 3 (24:51):
Yeah, ultimatums are never never a good idea. But I
feel like if.

Speaker 5 (24:56):
Your initial emotional reaction is to not trust her, then yes.

Speaker 4 (25:00):
That that's yeah.

Speaker 5 (25:02):
Yeah, because also too, I mean with trust, like you
can you know except that she's saying that and believe
her with that and say like, okay, cool, I'm glad
you think it'll be different. Yeah, but keep an eye
out because you don't know if it actually will be
until it's happening. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (25:16):
And the worst part is, and I know it's probably
just a traumatic thing that happened when you guys were
going through high stress. And again, you guys have grown
up and you guys have matured. You did this right
after college and that was probably high strung. What is
it seven years later or six years later? What have you?
Things can change over time. She may be better with
high stress. You don't know that until she does it.
And then you when that first you don't know until

(25:37):
you try exactly, and it's kind of crappy on op
not trying to call you out, but it seemed like
you had no support for her. There was no like
positivity like yes, like oh my god, you got you
have another job, like what about your workplace? But like
that's so great, like I'm so excited for you, or
like that's cool your Your first initial thought was yeah,
that's a no no, Yeah, that's like I don't like
that a little bit. Yeah, at least show some you know, support. Yeah,

(25:59):
you've been together for some years. You'd think just a
little bit of support. We have some comments come in.
Number one, she is right that you don't get to
make her professional decisions, et cetera for her. However, if
she is going to take this job and not have
a repeat of the past again lashing out, you will
both need an action plan. Whether we like it or not,
our jobs, income, and other practical aspects of life can
have an impact on our partners. Although we should be

(26:21):
making our personal decisions just for our partner, being in
a healthy relationship sometimes demands compromise and at least consideration
of how our choices will affect our significant other. In
regards to an action plan, how is she going to
deal with the stress. It's no good saying you'll just
deal with it. You need to have it, and you
need to have an idea of How will she agree
to start seeing a professional a therapist if the stress
becomes too much? Will she learn new healthy helping mechanisms

(26:44):
to employ when things become too much? Will you both
work on developing a trigger to de escalate tension if
it becomes too much. You will also need to separate
set appropriate boundaries with her Again. If she needs to
vent about work or get snappy you distress, but it
gets excessive to the point it is affecting your mental
well being, you may need to set a firm boundary.
Couple's therapy can help with this. If you are unsure

(27:04):
of how to set healthy boundaries with each other again,
you can agree in advance that if she feels she
is lashing out and the situation is escalating into a row,
you can remove yourself from the situation temporarily to give
you both time to come down. Fighting often causes a
psychological reaction in us, similar to fight or flight that
makes it very hard to think clearly or be generous
in understanding to the other person. If you agree to

(27:25):
remove yourself temporarily from instances where then this occurs, it
will allow both time to calm down and come back
to each other to discuss the issue with more kindness.
This is just one example of a boundary that may
be worth discussing. There's something wrong with rescinding your ultimatum
if you regret it and having an open discussion with
her about how you feel. You can tell her that
you regret giving an ultimatum, but you made it because

(27:45):
you are scared of a repeat of past behaviors. You
may not understand her reasons for wanting this job, but
that doesn't matter. It's down to her at the end
of the day. But that doesn't mean that you should
just accept any unfair treatment that may arise as a result.
You need to work together on this and figure out
how you are going to combat it moving forward. Wow,
that comment is a therapist. Literally, that was a great

(28:06):
That was no flus. That was one hundred and ten percent.
I'm giving you an a plus plus. Yeah, good job. Absolutely,
that was really good. Wow, that was like perfect, that
was incredible.

Speaker 5 (28:16):
Yeah, no, because like that like changed my mind a
bit because Yeah, I think at first I was a little.

Speaker 3 (28:22):
More on OPC. I'm like, yeah, like she shouldn't need
the job whatever.

Speaker 5 (28:25):
I mean, I guess I didn't really know if she
should or not, but I think, yeah, like if it's
you're right, If if it's it's something that you should
be celebrated, it's not something that you should decide. And
if if the problem is the stress causing problems, then
you can't just like not take the job because it's
going to be stressful, because stressful things are going to

(28:46):
come up in your life in general.

Speaker 4 (28:47):
Yeah, you just can't keep doing this, yeah, because guess
guess what that's going to build up more stress, Yeah,
and more resentment. So yeah, exactly, Again, what that commater
said was perfect work a game plan out because she
says one thing, You say one thing, and those are
just words. Actions speak louder than words, exactly, So you
won't again, back to my point earlier, you won't know
until you get there, right, right, And if it gets there,

(29:09):
then how do you work from that?

Speaker 1 (29:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (29:11):
What happens when you like start a family or you
have you know, extended family problems where there's like health
or something like like that causes stress anyway, and you
can't just devoid that stuff, So you got to figure
out how to deal with stress first.

Speaker 4 (29:23):
Yeah, one hundred percent. Again, you guys are a couple,
but you guys are also your own separate beings. Yeah,
you guys want to build each other up, not take
each other down exactly. Oh Pee, this post really helped
calm me down. I don't think she'll be up for
therapy or counseling, and I don't think bringing it up
right now will be helpful. We have talked about therapy
before and she was very reluctant about it. But I
do think we can talk about it and make a

(29:44):
plan of some kind which doesn't involve therapy in producer
stress and allows us to have a healthier relationship. Okay,
I feel a bit frustrated, not understanding why she is
doing this. When we had to move from my work,
I spent a lot of time explaining why I wanted
to do it, trying to make a sense of how
our relationship would look what how it look like, and
spending a lot of time mapping out the impact it
will have on her career. I know she isn't required
to do it, but it kind of is hurting me,

(30:06):
and we have an update. I twenty seven mail, would
like to think everyone who took the time to give
me valuable advice. It helped me realize I was going
about it the wrong way and possibly ruined a relationship
of seven years. Yesterday we sat down and had a
proper conversation. I apologized to her for lashing out with
an ultimatum. I explained how scared I was of things
sliding back. She twenty a female, was able to understand it,

(30:28):
and she also pointed out how hurtful me sitting down
an ultimatum was. I talked about mapping out a plan
so that we don't slide into the mess we had created.
I think me being open to the idea of her
working allowed her to be vulnerable and reveal why she
wanted to chase money. Okay, she wants to put down
roots in the city and buy a house here. She
grew up in a pretty unstable circumstance and moved around

(30:49):
a lot. She's adamant that we have our own house
before we get married and have kids, and the home
market here is booming. She also thought that it was
a bit embarrassing to be so fixated on owning a
house and wanted to take the whole burden on herself.
Oh I really love this woman. I know that her
actions in the past have not been great, but even
after that, I trust her to be kind by the way.
I trust you to join episodes with stories just like

(31:11):
this one. Just go to Spotify, Apple, iHeartRadio, any of
your favorite podcast app and look up Okay, storytime, do it.
There's a little bit left to this story. But Angie,
this is looking pretty great.

Speaker 3 (31:23):
I think so too. We've got communication, we're working through things.

Speaker 5 (31:27):
You know.

Speaker 4 (31:28):
Yeah, we have we have planning out, we have reasons.
This is great.

Speaker 5 (31:31):
Yeah, we're possibly saving a seven year relationship, right is great?

Speaker 4 (31:36):
And you know how you're saving it just by talking
to each other, not by pointing the finger. But it's like, hey,
why are we doing this? Okay, Like you know, it's
like a building block you're building exactly do you want
to build each other out your relationship? I love it,
love it. Let's finish the story. I think this perspective
is not something I could have ever thought of. I
come from a more privileged background, and even though my
parents raise us to be independent, but we always knew

(31:58):
that if things got ugly, we had a safety. She
never had that, and I understand her need to create one.
After we stopped crying and talking, we went through the
budget and talked about areas where we could cut expenses.
She really doesn't want to change jobs, so we are
planning on her asking for a raise, and I think
I will start looking for a new job. I am
pretty indifferent about my workplace and I don't mind jumping
ship to increase my salary. She is happy and would

(32:20):
have disliked to move to another company. I have to
really thank the people here for helping us talk it out.
I'm planning on bringing up counseling on a later date.
We have a lingering issue on communication that we need
to sort out. Okay, okay, great, Wow, amazing.

Speaker 5 (32:34):
Even if the communication isn't perfect, at least you know
that and you know that you can communicate to fix that.

Speaker 4 (32:39):
And again, Rome wasn't built in a day, exactly, things
won't get fixed in a day. It takes time, It
takes time, it takes trust, and it takes effort, and
that's all you need to do. And it needs to
be positive. You know you don't want to be negative,
because if you put into those thoughts negative thoughts, it's
gonna have negative output. So a negative outcome you don't
want that true.

Speaker 3 (32:59):
So exactly, So it looks like it's ending pretty well.

Speaker 4 (33:02):
Yeah, good, good on you guys.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
Here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

Speaker 3 (33:07):
But here's three minutes of fads from our sponsors.

Speaker 5 (33:10):
I contacted my excess fiance without his permission.

Speaker 3 (33:14):
He got furious.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
Uh I would too.

Speaker 5 (33:19):
I thirty female, was engaged to Anthony thirty two male,
four years ago. Our relationship ended for a number of reasons,
but we had been together since high school.

Speaker 3 (33:27):
We did not have the best ending and there was
a lot of hurt.

Speaker 5 (33:30):
I moved across the country when I moved out of
our shared at home. We cut contact following our split
and have remained no contact ever since. We have mutual friends,
so I still occasionally receive updates about his life, and
I am sure that he receives the same. By the way,
this comes from Dense Entrance seventy eight eighty one and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay story time subreddit. So five years ago,

(33:53):
Anthony's mother, Liz, passed away after a long illness, and
because we were engaged, Liz had given me a letter
and wrapped gift that she wanted me to give to
Anthony on our wedding day. It was not specific to
our wedding day, but since she knew that she would
not be there, she decided that I should be the
one to do it. She asked me to just keep
it between us. She did not want her ex husband
or other kids to know. Eight months later, when we

(34:15):
actually called off the wedding, I had forgotten about these items,
as I had stored them in my childhood bedroom for safekeeping,
and in the midst of moving across the country, I
left the items behind, which I am aware was careless.
Fast forward to now and I recently learned that Anthony
is engaged to Beth, who is in her thirties, and
my first thought was that I'm really happy for them

(34:35):
and wish them all the best. I then was thinking
about our canceled wedding and his mom. I really loved
her like a second mom, and I was struck with
the sinking feeling that I still had the letter and
gift from her, and that I had never returned it
to the family.

Speaker 3 (34:49):
I then remembered.

Speaker 5 (34:50):
Liz asking me not to share it with her other
children or ex husband, and while I was unsure the
exact reason, I think it's because she had done the
same for her other children. But I'm I'm not sure
who is holding on to their letters and gifts hmm.

Speaker 3 (35:04):
I brought it up to my.

Speaker 5 (35:04):
Husband and explained how guilty I felt about still having
these things, and I just didn't know what to do. Together,
we talked through all the different options. I could have
called him, but felt that it would ruin the surprise
on the actual wedding day, which is what his mom wanted.
I could have contacted a sibling, but then it felt
like it would have ruined their surprise since they are
not married yet. I thought about relatives, but I just

(35:26):
didn't know who, so I settled on Beth. It just
felt right that Liz wanted it to come from his
soon to be wife. I reached out to her via
social media DM and wrote her an extensive letter detailing
what I stated above. I told her that she could
do with this information what she wanted, but that I
would be in my hometown next month and would love
to get these items to her.

Speaker 3 (35:44):
Apparently this was the wrong thing to do. Oh oh.

Speaker 5 (35:49):
She told Anthony about this message, and he is pissed
that I reached out to her.

Speaker 3 (35:54):
He says that I have no business contacting his fiance.

Speaker 5 (35:57):
I am torn now because I was honest trying to
honor his mother's wishes and return the items.

Speaker 3 (36:03):
To their rightful owner.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
I see now.

Speaker 5 (36:06):
Yeah, I really felt like I was doing the right
thing for everyone. And we do have some comments, but
I want to hear your comments.

Speaker 3 (36:13):
Riley.

Speaker 5 (36:14):
Do you think that she's a whole or not for
reaching out to this fiance.

Speaker 1 (36:18):
I don't think so, because it's above her and her
own intentions. She's honoring people that, you know, his mom
that's passed. Other people may not see that. Yeah, stand
that maybe clear some stuff up, maybe afterwards, be like, hey,
people are gonna be mad, but just do you help
me out be on my side here because I'm trying

(36:39):
to honor his mother.

Speaker 3 (36:40):
Yeah, I think it's fine.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
I don't think. I don't think it's that big of video.

Speaker 5 (36:44):
Yeah, I really get that I might look weird, you know, like, oh,
what my fiance's ex wife is texting me telling me
to like give him something that she was gonna give
on their wedding day or I guess ex fiance, but
that never happened. This feels weird, but at the same time,
like it really does seem like her intentions were pure

(37:06):
and then she really just didn't know what to do.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
She's just passing along a message, she's giving a gift back.
She's not trying to get in her advantage at all.

Speaker 5 (37:17):
Absolutely, and it wasn't even from her in the first places,
from the mom so it's not like she was trying
to give him a present, you know.

Speaker 3 (37:23):
She was just like, oh shoot, forgot to delivered that.

Speaker 5 (37:26):
But the verdict from the comments is not the a
hole some questions from the comments. Was it a bad breakup?
OPI responds it was not great. I had gotten a
job in another city. We both agreed that I should
take it, and then he decided at the last minute
that he didn't want us to go. I ultimately decided
to go anyway, and he thought I would stay. He
was very angry that I.

Speaker 3 (37:46):
Did not stay.

Speaker 5 (37:47):
His version of events is usually that I left him
right after his mother passed away.

Speaker 3 (37:52):
Ohp.

Speaker 5 (37:52):
He is responding now to a downvoted commenter who is
saying bringing up his passed away mom and talking behind
his back to his fiance are pretty terrible things to
do when you could have sent those items to him. Oh,
he says, I guess I figured I could give her
the choice to share these things with him on their
wedding day instead of robbing him of that moment. I
still felt like it was her choice how to go
about it, since it was intended to be given by
the bride at the wedding. This was his mother's intention,

(38:14):
the commentary says, because if it were really important to
you to deliver them because you want to honor his mom,
you would have not forgotten about it until it was
convenient to you.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
He responds, A we called off our wedding and I
moved three days later.

Speaker 5 (38:26):
I've only been home to my home state one time
since that day, and it was for my brother's wedding,
So I did not go back to my parents' home,
where my old bedroom has boxes of things from my
canceled wedding, including my wedding dress.

Speaker 3 (38:37):
Oh uh yeah, I honestly, i'd probably forget about it.

Speaker 5 (38:41):
I'm not gonna lie because if you're like, this isn't
even your present, right, you're just passing it on and
then and then the wedding doesn't even happen.

Speaker 3 (38:52):
That's gonna be on your mind like crazy, and moving away.

Speaker 1 (38:55):
Like separate yourself from the breakup and moving away exactly.

Speaker 5 (39:00):
That would slip my mind. Not gonna lie. I'm very
forgetful in general. So yeah, all this stuff is happening.

Speaker 3 (39:08):
I'm not remembering that.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
President for me what you have left our son with
me for like three weeks straight though that was on purpose.
I love. We have a son named Guava and he's a.

Speaker 5 (39:22):
Copy bar that we got, a little pink copy bar
with a green apple on his head.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
Yep, he's the best.

Speaker 3 (39:27):
He's the best son we could ever ask for.

Speaker 1 (39:31):
Uh, doesn't require a lot. Don't don't frustrate that.

Speaker 5 (39:35):
Don't clip that and send that to our future children
that might end up poorly.

Speaker 3 (39:41):
But anyway.

Speaker 5 (39:42):
I met my husband a few weeks after I moved,
and we got married during the pandemic, so I have
not had a ton of time to think about my ex.
It was his engagement that made me think about Liz,
and then about the gift and the realization that it
was tucked in one of those boxes that I left
years ago, so why not just mail the package. I honestly,
I would not have known where to mail it. I
do not know where they live, and I did not

(40:03):
want to ask any mutual friends because I honestly.

Speaker 3 (40:05):
Wanted to keep them out of it.

Speaker 5 (40:07):
I wanted it to be best's decision right, not tell
the ex's fiance herself or give it to his family.
I know I could have reached out to him or
his siblings, but not without spoiling his mom's plans.

Speaker 3 (40:18):
She wanted him to have it on his wedding day
from his wife. I was trying to honor her wishes.

Speaker 5 (40:23):
I thought about all the possible scenarios and chose the
one that I thought most reflected what his mom would
have wanted and also gave everyone a choice. If I
told him, it ruins that moment between them. If I
told a sibling, steals their future moment. But I told
his dad, I risked him.

Speaker 3 (40:36):
Not knowing about any of this and not following through.

Speaker 5 (40:39):
I thought about his mom's sister, but I'm not sure
what the status of that relationship is. The Only person
that I could think of that was in a position
to not cause all that collateral damage is the person
who is in my former position when the gift and
letter were handed over. Okay, Like, yeah, I think she
really had to put his headshels.

Speaker 1 (40:57):
This is the only way, really.

Speaker 5 (41:01):
Yeah, Like I feel like maybe she could have risked
spoiling something with her siblings or something like that.

Speaker 3 (41:08):
But still, it's like, you really didn't mean anything bad
by it. I think she should be forgiven.

Speaker 5 (41:13):
H Opie clarifies that the letter wasn't written for her,
but for her ex fiance. No, she wrote her son
a letter when he was a little boy and he
was to open it on his wedding day. Oh wow,
so she wrote it when he was a kid. That's
that's really special.

Speaker 3 (41:31):
Then, oh my gosh.

Speaker 5 (41:33):
She planned to give it to him herself, but she
knew that she was not going to make it, so
she gave it to me to share with him, with
instructions to give it to him at our planned first look,
I was.

Speaker 3 (41:41):
Not in the position to a question of passing away woman.

Speaker 5 (41:44):
I also thought that I would be marrying her son,
so it seemed like a simple talk. I never thought
I would be in a position of having to pass
it on to someone.

Speaker 3 (41:50):
Else to give to him.

Speaker 5 (41:52):
But here I am Opie's comments on the move and
when the ex told her that he wouldn't go. So
we were planning the move together before she got six,
since we both originally wanted to get out of our
hometown and moved to my current city. We put those
plans on hold when his mom got sick, and I
waited until he was ready to restart our plans before
pursuing a job in said city. It was eight months
between his mother's passing and the move. It was four

(42:13):
months after that that he told me that he was
ready to start the process. He also had a job
lined up, but worked for his family business in our hometown,
so he could give up the new job without an issue,
whereas I had already quit my job. I get that
I'm the one that moved, but he is really the
one that ended the relationship by changing everything three days
before we were.

Speaker 3 (42:32):
Set to move.

Speaker 5 (42:33):
I am not saying that he is to blame, but
your interpretation of what happened is far from reality. And
he told me four days before we were set to
move that he wasn't going. I was going because I
was starting a new job a week later, and we
had given up.

Speaker 3 (42:46):
Our apartment and I signed a lease in my new city.

Speaker 5 (42:48):
We went to bed that night and I asked him
if he would ever join me the next day, and
he said probably not. So I told him that I
think the relationship is over and we need to call
off the upcoming wedding, which was three months away. He
was very, very upset, and he left to stay at
his dad's house. The movers arrived the next day and
they took my stuff and I stayed at the hotel
near the airport. That night for my early flight, I

(43:09):
boarded the plane and I have not been back except
to his tend my brother's wedding, which was not in
my hometown.

Speaker 3 (43:14):
So I did not return to my parents' home. And
we do have an update. But ouch, that would suck.

Speaker 1 (43:21):
That's so tough on both of them. Mom, Yeah, houses,
here's a feel ready to make that step because he
needs to be there for his family. He seems like
a pretty big family guy.

Speaker 3 (43:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
Then he's like, well, we already signed the lease.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
Yeah I gotta go.

Speaker 5 (43:36):
I don't blame her at all for still going, because yeah,
she already said the lease. She quit her current job,
so that that's just so tough though.

Speaker 3 (43:45):
H My goodness, yeah, uh, breaking up of three months
before your wedding. Oh ouch man ouch.

Speaker 5 (43:53):
But we do have an update, so in case anyone
is interested in an update to this story. So I
heard from Anthony again over the week, but this time
it was a phone call, which I was very surprised about.
We have not spoken a word to each other since
the day that we broke up. Well, he was at
a get together with friends on Saturday, and he was
still pretty angry about my reaching out to Bed. He
was telling some of the partygoers about the interaction and

(44:14):
that I should have never reached out to her, and
the following is what he told me about their reaction
to the conversation. I guess the people that he was
talking to, who are not friends that I've kept in
touch with, thought that he was overreacting.

Speaker 1 (44:26):
Okay, good, He's a bit hurt from this.

Speaker 5 (44:29):
They told him that it sounded like I was trying
to fix a mistake that I made and did not
mean any harm. So then his best friend Mike asked
him why he was really angry. And I want to
ask you to go to iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, whatever
your favorite podcast app is and search Okay, storytime because
you're gonna find more full episodes of stories just like

(44:51):
this one.

Speaker 3 (44:52):
Do you have a theory there's a little bit more
to the story, but he.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
Is still in love with her.

Speaker 5 (44:58):
Oboy, oh boy, that'd be crazy.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
I want to know how much do we know?

Speaker 5 (45:07):
How much time has passed? I don't think three years
That's what I would want to guess. But are we
just guessing that?

Speaker 1 (45:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (45:15):
Okay, I just wonder, like, you know, if if like
a significant amount of time has passed since they called
off their engagement and then the uh, he got engaged
with this new girl, because I feel like that that
does change things. Maybe he didn't have time to get
over her or something woos but let's find out. Anthony

(45:37):
said that this got him thinking about his reasoning and
he realized that he wasn't actually mad about my contact
with Beth, but the fact that four years ago, here's
our answer, I actually moved and cut contact. He said
that when he decided not to move, he was sure
that I would change my mind, and that when I
left it was a total shock to his system and
he was really angry with me. I acknowledged that the

(45:58):
way that I left was terrible, but also implored him
to take responsibility that he completely blindsided me and left
me with very few options. He apologized for this and
for his anger, and I apologize for leaving and cutting contact.
I let him know the dates that I will be
in town and I will happily send the items to
them if he gives me his address. Instead, he asked
if he could come pick them up, which I said

(46:19):
was fine. Overall, it was a good conversation that I
am glad we had. I doubt that we will ever
be friends, but I am glad that we seem to
be at peace with each other.

Speaker 3 (46:27):
And that is the end of that story.

Speaker 1 (46:30):
I started dressing down around my ex husband's new wife
to make her feel comfortable just for the drive. You
are right, my ex husband M let's call them Gary
for the purpose of the story, and I female. Both
approximately thirty ish give or take six months difference, have
been divorced for five years, separated for six, and have
a seven year old son. The divorce was h double

(46:52):
hockey sticks in more ways than one. On My ex
was a office cleaner at the time. He'll even admit
that that means.

Speaker 3 (46:59):
D A D bag.

Speaker 1 (47:01):
Yeah, d bag, that's all it is. We meant to
say orphus, you said office because I can't spell. By
the way, this comes from Accomplished Rough twelve. And if
you want to make your own stories, what are the
r so I show, okay stories, I'm subredded. So the
short story is he cheated and then brought the woman
home and had me feeder at my table.

Speaker 3 (47:20):
What how does that work?

Speaker 1 (47:22):
Okay? So this is what happens. I cheat on you
and then I bring it around and say, hey, make
us both sandwiches.

Speaker 3 (47:28):
Hey, this is my bestie. Can you make us dinner please?
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (47:33):
I cooked a full home made meal and everything. I
was four months postpartum in pain from additional procedures that
were necessary due to some medical malpractice that occurred during labor,
in addition to my initial diagnosis of severe that the
obgnyn told me i'd likely had at the beginning of
my pregnancy, which they had biopsy twice. It eventually came

(47:56):
back the beginning, but originally they wanted me to have
a pregnancy termination to be able to perform the bob see,
and I decided to continue. I don't think Gary ever
forgave me for that, and it probably led us some
resentment that led to the cheating. All he adores our son.

Speaker 5 (48:13):
That's interesting, so he wanted to follow through with the
pregnancy termination.

Speaker 3 (48:17):
Yeah dang, but.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
He likes the son now well out hope. Nothing against
people that would have chosen differently, But it's my choice
and I'll personally never regret choosing my son. I needed
some repairs because of the medical malpractice. Nurse pulled a
semi inflated Fawley catheter and enriched myretho to shreds while
I was in labor, so for medical purposes, I wasn't

(48:40):
exactly available spicy relatedly initially, and then it hurt a
lot and there was a bunch of miscommunication. He said.
She was a former coworker slash friend who'd come through town,
and I needed to make it special if I could.
I was a stay at home mom at the time
because of my recovery from birth and the procedures. It
didn't make sense to send our little baby to daycare

(49:01):
when I couldn't work, really, and if I was able
to work, it would barely cover the cost of daycare.
Like I said, this is the short version. There was
so much more going on and it would more than
fill up the word amount in this the prequel, essentially
to show the turnaround In the end, he ended up
with the NASTD that he gave me from this woman.
While curable, it left me functionally sterilized due to scarring

(49:23):
and my postpartum state. While I have some things can't
be done to fix it. Time is my biggest friend here.
My new obg NYN has been monitoring this and it's
hopeful that the scarring is finally starting to fade.

Speaker 3 (49:37):
Seven years later, seven years man.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
Like you looked in a mirror and broke it. That's
the curse you got here. Since our separation and divorce,
he actually manned up and went to therapy and made
himself a better man and gave me a full apology
in every way he could. He was and is someone
I could have been officially co parenting with and trust
with our son's safety, but not the safe of my

(50:00):
own heart and help. Needless to say, we never got
back together. It sounds bad, I know, but I never
doubted he loved our kid, just that he didn't love
me in the way that I needed it. In the end, yeah,
he sees our kid almost every weekend, goes out of
his way to school events, etc. He's a good dad,
and Gary's mom is amazing. This woman has loved me
like I was her own since I first met her.

(50:21):
She was never wavered in her acceptance of me and
her love. Even through the divorce, she was accepting and supportive,
more so than my own mother at the times. She
is my bonus mom and I'm beyond lucky that I
have her in my life. About four years ago, he
met my son's stepmom, Laurel female thirty two, fake name.
They dated for two years, got engaged, then she got
pregnant about a year and a half ago. They got

(50:43):
married eight months ago. I know other people saw, but
she was the only one I remember the name of
at all. At this point, we agreed to tell each
other the names of the people we were dating for
safety reasons with her son, so we knew who was
around and names that didn't surprise us. I never thought
about that.

Speaker 3 (50:58):
I didn't think.

Speaker 1 (50:59):
About that either, Like when you're co parenting and dating, yeah,
I'd be like, Hey, by the way, I'm seeing this
person right right. I like that. I like that. I
dated a few people when I initially started dating again
about three years ago, only really dated two people seriously
for longer than three months, and I have been in
my current relationship for two years now. I couldn't ask
for a better man in al ways. I could spend

(51:19):
years on poetry dedicated to describing all the ways my
Alvin thirty one fake mal is my piece and how
he loves me and sings for me in a chickenmunk voice.
However it is too short. Cuddles are life, no pressure,
no nothing, just consistent physical reassurance. He's there and has
my back, A brush of the shoulder, quick ham grass there,
kissing the forehead or cheek, a quick squeeze at the

(51:41):
hip or shoulder when moving around me in the kitchen. Dang,
I didn't know what Appa was, just tall, thought it
like I thought it was like this.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
Big at most.

Speaker 1 (51:52):
Yeah, I never felt so secure and connected and confident
in my life. He literally redecorated his house after I
mention how something be a safety issue for my son
after lett him meet him after three months of dating,
He's already cleaned out a bedroom for him for when
we will move in and made it clear it's on
my schedule, but he's doing his part because he intended

(52:12):
to marry me from the date one.

Speaker 3 (52:14):
Oh wow ah, this is so sweet. Everyone gets yourself
at Alvin.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
He got new curtains and betting after finding out my
favorite color for his bedroom. He put up bookshelves for
me as we finally started moving things in. I didn't ask,
I didn't say anything, but he's changing a room in
a dang library for me because I mentioned it once
one day time on our first date. It was my
to do dream. Am I really getting off track? Sorry, Alvin.

(52:40):
She's got the Alvin eyes.

Speaker 3 (52:41):
Here, guys. So sweet.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
Alvin is the love of my life, and the way
he loves me is beyond anything I could believe to
be real. I'm very lucky and very well loved. He
knows I might not be able to have another child,
and it's fine with it either way. Laurel was always
really interested in who I was dating and seeing to
be on edge a lot, especially when I started losing
weight and dressing nicer again because I could actually fit

(53:06):
my clothes again. I started dressing down initially around her,
wearing baggy clothes, a little to no makeup. I even
put my hair up when I noticed how uncomfortable she
seemed to be with me around Gary's Mamma vance and
she seemed more comfortable. Look, I'm not meaning the brag
or anything. I'm pretty like getting called cat called at
twelve pretty.

Speaker 5 (53:25):
Getting called like in the middle of the day, yea,
rather than getting cat called once she would turn twelve.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
Yeah, not at noon age twelve, any cat called around
lunch time.

Speaker 3 (53:39):
I was like, I guess because like if it happens
red night, we're doing double chickd up during this lunchtime,
which happens. But I was like, Okay, I guess that's
like a. I guess that's like a I don't know.
Why is this sad? Flex though?

Speaker 5 (53:57):
Yeah, I don't think we should be flexing about any
sort of cat calling things like, yeah, I was cat
called since I was a minor. Yeah, I'm so pretty
that people disrespected me and too.

Speaker 1 (54:07):
Like when I was a child, I've been hot for
a while now. Yeah, it's like age. She might have
been lunched on too. We did not mean you.

Speaker 3 (54:17):
Guys are probably right about that, but just watching it's okay.

Speaker 5 (54:23):
If you don't get cat call at twelve ideally still
means we're.

Speaker 3 (54:27):
Cackll Yeah, hopefully you're not being cat called.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
I used to win beauty pageants and it was a
bat arena. Eighteen years even overweight, I still have an
hour glass figure that is more than a bit over
full in the right places, and with hair down my
back that looks like spun gold in summer. I'm used
to the idea of making other women on comfortable.

Speaker 3 (54:50):
Dude, I love this. I love this confidence eropene, this
is great pop off queen.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
It was so great girl, it really is.

Speaker 3 (55:00):
Yeah, I am here for it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:04):
Laurel is adorable. A bit mo mousey, but cute and
petite and much more boyish, obviously athletic a build even
post part of the meat. So still very pretty, just
in a different way. At the time, I didn't mind
less drama, better for everyone, mind her discomfort for me
compared to dealing with some resentment around me and taking
it out on my son. And she genuinely seemed to
love my son at the time. How could I complain

(55:26):
about that? But as time went on, things kept happening
slip center facade, or maybe it was something else. Once
Gary and Laurel were engaged, Laurel went to Gary's mother
and said she didn't need me anymore because she had her.
I overheard it, and Mama's response had me crying. My
relationship with her is not defined by her relationship to
my son. She's my daughter because I say she is,

(55:48):
and she is the mother of my grandson, so there
is no replacing people. Each relationship is unique. That being said,
I am their mother and mistreat my children, and that
will define my relationship with you. I love that woman
like crazy. But this was one of the first signs
of things to come. With Laurel taking all the leftover
his mama, Gary's mom was counting on and packing them

(56:09):
for herself after a family meal, leaving nothing for her
and taking the last of the soda cans too. Happened
three times before Mama put her foot down, eating all
the food that was specifically textures safe for my son
and aside for him after being told he couldn't eat
the other without gagging, consistently bad mouthing Gary in front
of his son over things that are just pure petty.
Keep in mind she is a stay at home mom

(56:31):
and her kid is in daycare, not cooking something that
she likes every night, working too much, not doing the
laundry right, including taking too much time with his son,
which also means bad mouthing our kid. I just motherly
rage is a thing. And from what she is loudly
always complaining to me, what I'm getting is he cooks,

(56:52):
he cleans, he does laundry, he works, he picks up
the kid from daycare, he takes her daughter to the doctor,
and she loved to on he hasn't cheated either.

Speaker 3 (57:03):
That tells me that maybe, yes, I mean, maybe that's
not necessarily.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
Mean that was working, but it's it's just stopping someone,
that is it.

Speaker 3 (57:14):
Yeah, I mean that just kind of is like why
would you mention that?

Speaker 1 (57:18):
But maybe she hasn't figured out if I make him
do all the things, he has no time to cheat.

Speaker 3 (57:23):
Listen, great tactic, Great tactic. Write that down everyone. Yeah, No,
that just just like it's like, why would you even
mention that.

Speaker 5 (57:33):
It's like, oh, oh my husband hasn't like you know,
it just it just feels like, oh, my husband hasn't
robbed from any banks, so he must be a great person.

Speaker 3 (57:45):
It's like, well, why was that in question? He No
one should be doing that, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (57:52):
So I just just stopped holding back, starting dressing up again. Honestly,
the heck a lot better, and Mama and my for
all practical purposes adopted siblings seemed happier that I'm just
being me again. So number one am with a hole
for my attitude and frustration on this that I accidentally
set her up to hate me when I stopped holding

(58:13):
back for her comfort when she started being passive aggressive
in her actions towards my mama and my son. Number two,
She's always wanting to be in the middle of conversation
about Gary's and my sons, having her own ideas about
how to raise them, which would it be an issue
except she's trying to shut down all communication between Gary
and me, stop co parenting essentially at this point, not completely.

(58:34):
We will make it work still, but it all came
to a head this weekend. We've got an update. Trying
to get in between the co parenting. Seems to be
fully platonic in co parenting, like, yeah, it's like this
is a business.

Speaker 3 (58:48):
We're just co parenting like we should because we have children.

Speaker 5 (58:53):
But yeah, she's just like John's and insecure it seems,
and trying to get in the way, and it's just like, not.

Speaker 3 (59:04):
Not good. This is not gonna have good outcome.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
I feel, Sovie. Do you think there's any a holary
coming from Ope right now?

Speaker 5 (59:12):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (59:12):
From my limited grasp on the story, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (59:19):
Thanks Sophia, we got an update.

Speaker 3 (59:23):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
It'd been planned for a week that our son would
spend Friday night with Gary and Laurel to have some
time with his dad and sister, but plan to go
and stay with Alvin to get more work on the
house together and get some adult alone time. Alvin lives
two hours away from where Gary and Laurel live stay
an hour away from where I live currently. I get
the initial message from Laurel about what the plan is
around three forty five pm. I am driving. I can't reply.

(59:47):
I dropped my son off at four fifteen with his dad,
and I get back to my place around five ish,
eat quickly, lunch, throw the last of the things I
need in a bag along with a couple more items
to move out, and I don't I've forgotten the text
message from Laurel at this point and get back on
the road asap. I have double triple checked at this point,
and the message says nothing about the little girl my
son's sister being sick. This matters for later when I

(01:00:09):
reached Alvin's house. I have fourteen messages from Laurel raging
asking when my son is going to be there. The
baby is sick and I need to get my son
or I need to tell him to come home. He
even calls me to tell me I need to make
that decision with her on the phone on speaker. His
dad's arguing in the background, not harshly, just protesting the
way she is doing this, and I'm not happy, but

(01:00:29):
I'm almost two hours away. My bio mother, my mother,
bio amazing woman too, had agreed to be on contact
for emergencies. Gary had her number. I told him that
I couldn't do anything right now because I couldn't. I
wasn't just down the road. I also mentioned that Gary's
mom I told them stop by. I later found out
at this point get tossed my son things out the house,

(01:00:50):
and my axe is the only reason his wife didn't
stuff him in a car. My son is now having
nightmares about being punted out of the house for the
past two nights, still watching to see if it happens
this time. It was at this point I hung up,
praying I made the right call. I'm sure I did.
Not Indian. Gary handled it and took his son to
his mom's house to spend the night and stayed there
with him. Out of the a hole for making him

(01:01:10):
be the one to handle it and not being the
bad guy to my son making him come home.

Speaker 3 (01:01:15):
No, you're not the a hole.

Speaker 1 (01:01:17):
No, just dropped your son off thinking it would be
a regular weekend and Rural had her pants on fire.

Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
Yeah. Absolutely, so definitely not. Yeah, they are also parents.
They can figure it out too.

Speaker 1 (01:01:29):
This is Gary's mess defix.

Speaker 3 (01:01:32):
Yeah, exactly. He's Gary's son too.

Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
If his sister was sick for two days, I could
have been told earlier and that would have changed the
plants he has. Gary got the little one to the
doctor and it was just allergies. By the way, if
you have any allergies from the BS you go through
every day, the way to cure it is taking a
daily dose of okay, story time. All you gotta do
is go to your favorite podcast platform, Apple, Spotify, Ourheart
Radio for's your poke storytime, A press play on one

(01:01:57):
of the many stories we have there for your allergies
to go way of the daily BS you go through.
That's right, we got an update too. Oh, gosh, Gary
and Laura, we're gonna stay together hopefully not.

Speaker 5 (01:02:10):
I mean, I kind of agree with Sophia Colan's comment
where it's like, yeah, he kind of deserves her after
what he did, OP, but OP doesn't deserve to keep
dealing with this so hopefully, Like, yeah, if they stay together, whatever,
But the fact that they have to copare it, and
that she still has to be involved with OP. She
clearly is like trying to go against Opia at any

(01:02:33):
moment she can. She doesn't deserve to deal with that,
So get her out of the picture there.

Speaker 1 (01:02:38):
Get her out O.

Speaker 3 (01:02:41):
My goodness, I can't wait.

Speaker 1 (01:02:43):
Keep off a hole moves from OP Sophia. Nice, nice, Okay,
all right, I'm still only clear from OP Sophia's perspective.
You have Sophia's stay up of approval. Update two. All right,
no more nightmares last night, which is one of the
most immediate of my concerns outside of just keeping my
kid away outside of mandatory visits, which his dad has

(01:03:06):
already confirmed he's willing to work on me with until
we have a chance to actually talk in person. Neither
of us want our kid to go through this again,
and any spent the nights and visits will be taking
place at Gary's mom's house if my son wants one
before this is all sorted. It's a patch job for now,
Gary and I know it, but it lets our son
have access to his dad and sister with more witnesses

(01:03:28):
for safety.

Speaker 2 (01:03:29):
Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.
Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors
that keep the show going.

Speaker 6 (01:03:34):
I told my ex'es mother that I refuse to marry
him because of his family.

Speaker 3 (01:03:39):
I gotta marry the whole family comes. It's a package deal.

Speaker 1 (01:03:45):
There we go.

Speaker 6 (01:03:45):
I'm still reeling from this myself. We are Indians, and
respecting our elders is drilled into us firsthand.

Speaker 3 (01:03:52):
But this feels crazy to me.

Speaker 6 (01:03:54):
X twenty four male and I twenty three female, dated
for a year in high school. A year and I
got good grades and entrance tests, left for a good university,
moved for higher studies abroad, and I swear I haven't
seen or heard from this guy after leaving high school.
Last I heard from old friends was that he was
doing a very good job in his career. I haven't
been home in two years, so I came back to

(01:04:15):
see my parents, and because of some issues, I am
stuck here for an extra month. By the way, this
comes from Infinite Ads seventeen thirty five and if you
want to submit your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay storytime separate it. So again, we grew up
in different circles. My parents were never friends with my
ex's mom, who, since we were in middle school, would
hound my mother in parent teacher conferences on how nice

(01:04:36):
it must be to come to your daughter's school on
acy cars. And now my ex's family could never do
that because they are humble people. What they're just sweating profusely. Oh,
we could never do that.

Speaker 3 (01:04:49):
Yeah, we're just we're so humble, we're what. My dad
takes nobody's barbs.

Speaker 6 (01:04:55):
And after that he would loudly ask my exes parents
every time he saw if if they needed to be
dropped off somewhere, and I found out later that his
mom used to tell my friends if I was not there,
that my parents were show offs. Still, she was nice
to me my entire school life. Both my ex and
I competed to be the highest in class. We came
from a pretty large town but went to the same

(01:05:16):
school for years. And I was one of his closest friends.
I also happened to be the eldest daughter of a
brown household with a mother who has been sick for years,
and I have been picking up slacks since I was eleven.
When I lived at home, I used to handle the
majority of tours, took care of my younger sister, and
managed my studies. I didn't do it to get recognition,
and my parents never told me to do all of

(01:05:36):
these things. They were just constantly in and out of hospitals.
But my exes mom got it into her head that
I would be the perfect daughter in law. Mind you,
I was a kid, her son was a kid. We
were in high school. And even though we are a
fairly progressive community Bengali's, he came from a severely conservative
family where women never worked, house helped was not allowed,

(01:05:57):
and you can't wear anything except traditional. I would literally
rather stab myself.

Speaker 3 (01:06:02):
In the eye than have married him. Dang man, someone
said that about me. Ouch, ouch, how it hurt.

Speaker 6 (01:06:11):
After telling my ex this is what led to our breakup.
Ex's mom saw me after a long time when I
was out with my mom and sister at a function.
Immediately hugging me, telling me how pretty I've become, et cetera.
I was very respectful and made small talk, then went away,
except the next day she calls my dad up and
sends her son's match to me. She told my dad

(01:06:31):
I'm not getting any younger. Her son is doing very good,
and she has known for years how responsible and talented
I am at household work, how this was the best
opportunity for.

Speaker 3 (01:06:40):
Ex and me. My dad passed the phone to me and.

Speaker 6 (01:06:42):
Told me to analyst myself, is this like arranged too?
I think the mother is trying to arrange it, but
not successfully. At first, I was very polite and told
her I didn't see her son that way, and that
I've lived abroad and was not going to marry for
at least five years. She got at that and told
me her son liked me a lot and I should

(01:07:03):
be respectful of my elders, and that she was praising me,
so I should be considerate of her proposal. I was
just done, and I told her our family was not
accepting her son and there was no way I was
gonna marry into her ultra conservative family.

Speaker 3 (01:07:16):
I told her not to bring this up ever again,
and hung up.

Speaker 5 (01:07:19):
My ex calls me after years, we hadn't blocked each
other because the breakup wasn't that bad. But he was
so mad that I apparently made his mom cry, And
how I am so high up on my horse that
I'm looking down on him.

Speaker 3 (01:07:33):
That's crazy. Why don't you have a horse?

Speaker 5 (01:07:35):
Huh? Sor right?

Speaker 3 (01:07:37):
I have a horse. Sorry, I'm really cool. I mean
I don't get taller or get your own horse. God
did really easy fixed here that someone doesn't want to admit.

Speaker 6 (01:07:53):
I told him his mom was ridiculous, and why on
earth would you ever think I'd sacrificed my happiness to
be to his family. We got into a pretty nasty fight,
and I ended up telling him to go cry on
his mommy's lap. I think there will be more drama
after because I know he and his mom are people
who go around spreading misinformation. But my own mom thinks

(01:08:15):
I was too rude. She says I could have handled
it more respectfully or made up a lie. My mom
is a very soft hearted person, and she feels I
have made my ex's mom feel lesser than us. Two
of my old school friends I don't talk to them,
sent me text on how they expected better of me,
and this is why they don't like me.

Speaker 3 (01:08:31):
I don't care.

Speaker 6 (01:08:34):
I don't understand why people from high school are messaging you.

Speaker 3 (01:08:38):
That's so weird. Yeah, have we not moved on? Have we?

Speaker 5 (01:08:42):
Like they you were rejected so long ago, long just
accepted instead of being like, oh I just by the way,
I still remember you're a terrible person to you you
a tall woman on your horse, you tall woman.

Speaker 6 (01:08:59):
But the fact that my mom thinks that I was
wrong is making me feel really bad.

Speaker 1 (01:09:04):
Am I the a hole?

Speaker 3 (01:09:05):
And there is an update? You're not a n a hole?

Speaker 4 (01:09:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:09:09):
I mean, like maybe you didn't need to hang up
the phone like that, I guess. But also like she
was calling and being rude. Yeah, so it's like I
think your mom.

Speaker 6 (01:09:17):
Is operating from probably like respect your elders kind of standpoint, like, oh,
you can't be rude like that.

Speaker 3 (01:09:24):
But yeah, I doubt she means she wants you to, like,
you know, marry this guy. Yeah, it's like, well I don't.
I'm not gonna marry him. She said that she wanted
me as a as a daughter in law. Yeah, hopefully
she doesn't think so.

Speaker 5 (01:09:38):
Now cool, because I don't want to be that don't
want to be that update. I booked a ticket and
I'm going back home to my city in two weeks.
I would have stayed longer, but there are too many
cultural programs around this time of the year. And well,
as much as I love my parents, I love my
late night walks with my friends and waking and eating whatever,

(01:09:58):
which living under your parents proof is not possible. Ex
His mom called my mom after getting her number from
the old parents WhatsApp group of my high school.

Speaker 6 (01:10:06):
This woman is crazy. My mom is scared. She may
be one of those psychotic ones.

Speaker 3 (01:10:12):
She called my mom and told her.

Speaker 6 (01:10:13):
They got off on the wrong foot and she got
too excited at the prospect of me being in the family.
But her son said he wouldn't marry anyone else. Creepy,
so please consider. I thought the Sun was mad about
being rejected, didn't.

Speaker 3 (01:10:26):
He messaged like three years her and and he.

Speaker 5 (01:10:28):
Was like, hey, just by the way you're you still suck.
You're still a terrible person for rejecting me. Yep, but
he he loves her. Yeah, he's like yanking her pigtails and.

Speaker 3 (01:10:41):
He's saying, marry may except they're out of high school.
Except he's a weird. Then it becomes weird. You grow
up and yeah, yanks, someone's pigtails. Now it's all weird,
going weird.

Speaker 6 (01:10:58):
My mother told her she would never me to marry
a man who did not have the guts to talk
to me myself and got his mother to do his
work for him.

Speaker 3 (01:11:05):
Yay mom.

Speaker 6 (01:11:06):
My mom had a very stern tone towards her. She
told both my ex and his mom that since we
are snobs, then these snobs are not ruining their daughter's
life by forcing her to marry into such a conservative,
problematic household. Ye nice. And yes, since they think we
think of them as lower than us, they are lower
than us. Oh shoot, yeah, She's like, yeah you think

(01:11:30):
that is true.

Speaker 3 (01:11:31):
It's true. Sorry, we have horses and still we're tall.
They don't, so they're short. Just how it works.

Speaker 6 (01:11:39):
I just want to make sure you are being sarcastic
about horses, right, Okay, Yeah, they don't actually have horses,
but if they.

Speaker 3 (01:11:46):
Did that I'd be really okay. I yeah, because I
thought you were joking, But then I like you were,
like wait a second, We've done this too many times.

Speaker 6 (01:11:53):
Be super hard.

Speaker 1 (01:11:54):
Focused on this.

Speaker 3 (01:11:57):
I just got a double shot.

Speaker 6 (01:11:59):
It isn't, so they should stop bothering us because we
are such awful people and they are so humble. I
know letting my ex piss off my mom was the
right move because she's actually terrifying when mad. By the way,
you know what isn't terrifying listening to full episodes of
stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

(01:12:20):
or i art radio and search a boocused story.

Speaker 3 (01:12:23):
Time to it.

Speaker 1 (01:12:24):
Do we do it? Do it?

Speaker 3 (01:12:27):
But there's a little bit left to do this story.
Do you have any final thoughts they're weird related or otherwise.
I think they're weird. If they are weird, they're.

Speaker 1 (01:12:38):
Trying to guilt trip in their own weird way. You
think you're better than us, We don't deserve you, ye?

Speaker 4 (01:12:45):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:12:45):
Yeah, yeah, I think you're so high and mighty.

Speaker 1 (01:12:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:12:50):
It's like Doctor Draken from Kimbosa when he goes you
think you're roll that much?

Speaker 4 (01:12:55):
You're not.

Speaker 3 (01:12:57):
You're not. I get the reference, do you?

Speaker 5 (01:13:01):
Mm hmm?

Speaker 3 (01:13:02):
Okay.

Speaker 6 (01:13:03):
It's like whenever Doctor Dragon is beat bike Impossible, he's
always like.

Speaker 3 (01:13:07):
Can't buzzard?

Speaker 4 (01:13:08):
You think you all that?

Speaker 1 (01:13:09):
But sa not.

Speaker 3 (01:13:11):
That's what she literally just beat him. Yeah, she's like, wow,
she is all that is just all that he laid
the house boots.

Speaker 6 (01:13:21):
But yeah, these people are weird. Stick with your mom
and your dad who are standing up for you, and
block this guy.

Speaker 1 (01:13:29):
And that guy's gonna stay with this Yeah, and that's
sad for him. Yeah, she can't marry.

Speaker 3 (01:13:35):
Mom on it's been years. It's been years. It's crazy years.
But there is an update.

Speaker 6 (01:13:42):
My sister and I were laughing when Mom was on
the call, so I didn't hear the last part, but
she told me she handled it and I should focus
on my work and on not letting such idiots bug
me again. Turns out it was my exes idea shocker
as I suspected, and he made his mom pester me
to agree to be with again. I still don't understand why,
because my ex has made it very clear how much

(01:14:04):
he hates me and everything I stand for. He said
my independence would make me a horrible wife, but he's
drawn to you like a moth to the flame. I
am selfish and can't love anyone, et cetera. Every time
I replied I can love you, are just not worth it,
he would yell at me. Yeah, our breakup all those
years ago looking back, seems pretty funny to me. I

(01:14:25):
had a trusted mutual friend deliver a sober message to
my ex that I did not like him. I stopped
liking him at seventeen and have always considered him an
annoyance at best. There was no way anything was happening,
and he should apologize to his mom for embarrassing her.
From what I heard back, he told our friend he
understood and wouldn't bother me again.

Speaker 3 (01:14:42):
So there it is.

Speaker 6 (01:14:45):
As much as I like drama, I am thinking of
skipping it for the next couple of visits to my parents,
so I think I'll ask them to come stay with
me instead. And that is the end of that story.

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My friend INTRODUCED me to a guy… now I’m losing my favorite coffee shop! - r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP2179

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My friend INTRODUCED me to a guy… now I’m losing my favorite coffee shop! - r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP2179