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00:00 r/relationship_advice - My Friend (43F) is Expecting, And My (42M) Husband (48M) is Convinced it's His or Mine. How Do I Convince Him Otherwise?
30:12 r/BORUpdattes - AITA for refusing to recover at home after surgery?
Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Cowboy Sam and this is Eh John, And
we've last showed in some amazing stories for y'all the
Okay Storytime podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
But before that, we got.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
To wrangle a quick little two minute out break from
those bucking sponsors.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
We bucking love so much they're paying us the bucks
to help this show stay alive. My friend is pregnant.
My husband is convinced it's either his or mine. Oh boy,
A little confusion trigger warning.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
There is a pregnancy loss and miscarriages in the story.
If you want to go to another one, please do that,
but we're gonna get into this one.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Oh daddy, who's the daddy? Well?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I tried to stay off social media, but I have
no clue where to go since three people I would
go to are the three people involved in this some
background everyone are their current ages. I forty two Mail,
have been involved with Gail forty two Mail since I
was in my senior year of high school, and it
became close when he started dating his now wife June
(00:54):
forty three. I got even closer with her as we
had way more in common.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Wait wait, so so Op and Gail were romantically.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Inlved romantically involved a forty two Mail and forty two
Mail ye Op and Gail, and then there's the wife
June forty three as well. By the way, this comes
from a throwaway, dumb decision And if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay
storytime subbreddits. June was diagnosed with PCOS at sixteen and
was told she'd have a very low probability of having kids. Unfortunately,
(01:26):
Gail also had fertility issues, so the chances of having
children are near impossible. They've tried IVF four times and
every time they lost the baby sometime in the first trimester.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
That is rough. Yeah, and also that process is not
easy on the body.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Oh like super hard on the body, just like the
expectation and the heartbreak four times.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
When I first started dating my husband forty eight Mail,
I found out he worked in social work and I
got to ask about the adoption process and he was
very open about it. This is all info I passed
on to Gale in June, but they still were trying
to make IVF work, so they weren't interested at the time.
My husband became fast friends with them, and after a
few years Galen June decided on their own to adopt,
(02:09):
so we helped them. Amazing, that's great. They adopted two
boys from a rough background. They love these boys, but
they always wanted to raise a baby together. My husband
and I also have three kids around the same age
that we adopted, but that's not important to the story
at hand. Now that that's out of the way, here's
even more context for the problem at hand. A lot
of at hands. All of our kids are now in
(02:31):
high school and my husband and I's oldest is in college.
We all found out we had a lot more free
time on our hands, so we started hanging out more.
But we do game nights, movie nights, weekends away, et cetera.
Also shout out to like older into watching our kids
and still like making the time to hang out. One
night when the kids were gone, we all hung out
being dumb, horny, wasted or high on some stupid mixture
(02:53):
of both, and flat out stupid.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
We had the grand idea to.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
All hook up all of them. So it's the three
guys and the one girl.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Four people.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Now, so Opie and his husband Yep, and then a
Gale and his wife June. Yeah, so we're just we're
just mass frickin orgy.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Wow. Wow while the kids are at high school. Wow.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yeah wow, So it is a full that that's a
full on spit roast.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
They're gone for man.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
All of us were pretty open, spicy, sleep wise, so
it was whatever we had fun.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
So we all agreed we could very occasionally.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Continue doing this with the permission of everyone's partners. We
never did one on one with each other's partners, so
I wouldn't call it polyamory. We didn't even do threesomes
or foursomes. I guess it was always one weekend every
month or two where the four of us went on
vacation together and kind of just all hooked up. I
(03:54):
don't know what we were thinking, but we must stress
we did use protection, all right.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Hey, listen, I like that he's not saying like I'm
a stret Like he's like, we are coming today.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Yes, they get a whole it's it's it's group activity.
You know, no one's left out, sharing is caring.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
That's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful, beautiful I truly
believe uh uh. The strongest society is a society that
all hooks up with each other. Wow. I truly believe that.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Here we go ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
So for the past three weeks, June's been pretty sick,
yet it didn't seem to affect her emotionally at all.
No matter how sick she got, she still wore a
genuine grin, even if only slightly. Gail was also pretty
happy as well. I thought it was weird, but my
husband wasn't two phased, so I let it go. That
was until two days ago. June and Gail called us
(04:48):
to a celebratory dinner, but said what we were celebrating
was a surprise. Before we ate, Gail poured out the
drinks and I noticed that June wasn't drinking. Oh boy,
she started a new diet.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Oh boy, a.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Diet that is young. I tried to think of a
clever mom. It didn't work. It didn't work.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Sorry, guys, sometimes you shoot, sometimes you missy.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
You know, a baby die.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
These people.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
We're trying over here, So I guess you noticed my staring.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
And she started crying and happily and laughing, happy, nodding,
and confirmed that yes she was pregnant.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Let's go, But whose is it?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
But whose is it? Who's the father?
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
This is like a Mama Mia type situation. Yeah, we
got three boys.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
That happened. They all I also know.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Awkward following silence, Did you have any more? He wanted?
Did no, you don't get those.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Thus this is the question. I haven't watched MoMA Me
in a while.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I don't think you've ever watched Momia.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I think. I don't think that I remember the opening scene.
But if the opening scene is something like that.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
The opening scene is them seeing Mamma.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Mia maat down anyway, anywhoy. So she was a few
weeks long, but they wouldn't announce it until she made
it to the second trimester. I was ecstatic and quickly
ran over to hug Gail and her gently. Of Course,
when I looked at my husband, instead of a happy face.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
He looked suspicious.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
The best face I can reference is that woman doing
a math meme or the Futurama squint.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Hmm.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
He just looked accusing, not the normal reaction to friends
being pregnant, especially given the circumstances. He then asked how
far along are you again, very rudely, which is shocking
because he never takes a tone with people. Gail and
June started uttering, June saying that she didn't know. While
Gail was saying that it didn't really matter, my husband
pushed the issue. They both then started getting very defensive,
(07:09):
suddenly saying it wasn't his business. He said it was
his business as nine weeks ago aligned with something we
all did together aka.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
The hook Oh Boy. And again as a reminder, the
husband of the pregnant lady was infernile or at least
had swimmers that weren't swimming too well.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
I think those are pretty relevant questions, your husband's asked me.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I think so.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
We We did not have Michael Phelps and Ryan Lacy
on our Is that his.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Name on our swim?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
No, we don't.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
They're not present.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Who can't swim? Yeah? Bag of sand?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Old bag of.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Sand didn't make it to TSA this year. So they
angrily punted us out. The second we got into the car.
What we started fighting, and I mean really having a go.
He was fuming at me for not taking a side
and asking, do you really not see the problem here? Honestly,
I don't see a problem.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Though.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I don't think that Junior Gail would hide this from
either of us if one of us could have been
the dad.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I don't know, man, how they're acting is suspicious. Yeah, yeah,
I think they very well could be the dad.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
It's like a huge live of omission to just be like, oh, hey,
we're pregnant, but it's like, hey, you're pregnant from around
the time we all hooked up, so like you're kind
of omitting that one of us.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Very easily could be the father.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Nilsen says, some fertility issues can be helped, so maybe
husband tried a new treatment or something. I mean not
to say that that couldn't happen, but that did go
through IVA four times.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Four times. You're telling me he didn't try the treatment
earlier than that before. Like IVF is not cheap. It's
like twelve k per session or something.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
I think it's like, of course it could be a possibility,
but also it seems like they're totally discounting the fact
that the other two guys could be The timing.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Is very suspicious.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Also, she is forty three, by the way, so just
kind of an insane overall scenario, like that's it's very
pretty miraculous, honestly that she got pregnant that late given
her previous issues.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Yeah, he said that they should have just confirmed that
then if if like one of them was the father,
or if there was anything suspicious.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
He believes the fact.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
That they skirted around the topic and got angry it
was cause for concern.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I agree, I.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Think, being like very naive, Yeah, agree, little naive.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Like it could be a case where they're still happy,
but it's like, are they like chill with that? You know,
they didn't ask They didn't ask that, which, if by
some chance one of us was a dad, it more
likely than not would have been me, as my husband
is more preferential to me and Gale than June.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
He still does hook up with her during our.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Vacations, so it's possible he it might be the father,
but not likely. I also don't see an issue if
I was a father, because Gale and I discussed with
me being a baby juice donor in the past, as
I look quite a bit like June. When I explained
that to my husband, he blew up, saying he wasn't
comfortable with the thought of me fathering someone else's kid,
(10:17):
which I found ridiculous. We now have a made huge
misalignment here.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I don't think it's out of the question. Yeah, to
be a little uncomfortable with your partner fathering another kid.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I think that is definitely a conversation.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
It's obviously, I think totally okay if the other person
is like people are donors all the time and have
agreement and everyone's everything's in on it.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
But yeah, that is like, is that going to be
your child?
Speaker 4 (10:44):
Now?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
What does that look like?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It does kind of yet it complicates things. It complicates things.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Good to like have the discussion to kind of like,
you know, get to the bottom of it. Oh interesting,
whoa Nina Nelson says info pcos people can get more
fertile with age until menopause.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
WHOA, interestingly not know that.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
I did not know that either.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Is it like you start off like super unfertile because
of the pcus at the time, and it like gradually
like kind of like releases. It's its hold on the
fertility kind of a thing. A little Benjamin Button type situation.
Let me know, Benjamin Button uterus, let me know, but
I'm researching. Uh, producer, Sophia is on the case. She
(11:30):
will let us know when she finds it. That would
be my decision, not his, and I would be supporting
our friends. He then asked what would the four of
us do if he was the father. I think it's
more important to mention now that my husband is Middle Eastern,
darker skin, extremely curly dark hair, dark eyes, and very
middle Eastern facial features. Meanwhile, June and Gale are white,
June being blonde and Gale having light brown, straight hair
(11:52):
with very Eurocentric features. So it'd be very obvious if
he was the father, especially given he's the only person
in their immediate group with those features. It doesn't help
that June's family, specifically her mom's side of the family,
is discriminatory, so any mixed baby she would have would
face a crapstorm in her family. I wonder how she
feels about their orgy. I'm very curious. Probably not great,
(12:19):
Probably doesn't love that, probably doesn't love this. He pointed
out that if we didn't get the paternity clear now
and he was the father, it would look like he
and June had an affair, and we'd have to explain
our hookups to all three families, June's, Gail's, and mine.
That would be I mean, you could just say they're
a donor, which like, yeah, yeah, could, I mean, It's like,
(12:40):
but it be more.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Fun to explain your hookups in.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Detail, dude, just like, guys, look, we turned forty three
and we're like, we got an orgy. That's that's what
we need to do here. That would be mortifying for
obvious reasons. I told him he was being ridiculous and
selfish and that this was June and Gail's baby first,
and he was villainizing them when they had yet to
be proven guilty. I mean, technically, if if it is
(13:04):
one of you guys's babies, it's literally literally one of
your babies first, like from a biological perspective, From a
biological perspective.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Yeah, I mean I think Op is being way too
dismissive here.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Yeah, Like I think he needs to consider his partner's
feelings like it is. That is a shock, you know,
like I could. Yeah see you need to process that.
Yeah yeah, Yeah. That pissed him off. We had a
screaming match the whole drive home that continued when we
got home. It didn't help at Jun and Gale fanning
the flames by texting us that they didn't want to
(13:38):
see either of us for a little while about how
he ruined a good moment. Why I don't blame them
for being emotional I just wish that they had just
let it sit for the night. But it also falls
on me because I was the one to use it
against him in the argument. It all derailed into a
fight about when and why I had agreed I would
be a baby juice downer if they needed one without
(14:01):
talking to him, which got me sentenced to the spare
bed in my office for the past two nights and
tonight as well. By the looks of it, especially given
this this scenario, I feel like the legal default is
Gail would not be the father of this child.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
So it'd be like, Oh, it's like their family, it's
their baby, like it's it's it's them.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
But it's like, dude, unless you like take legal action,
if it's if it was you or or your husband,
one of you would legally be the father legally be like, you're.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
Not a sperm donner. Yeah you're You're just not if
that is your child you had spicy sleep, Yeah, you're
not a sperm donner. It's a totally different scenario.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Yeah, And like I feel like you could probably do
the paperwork to essentially to be to be that. Yeah,
but we're not there right now. And you know, husband's
like yo, like, what are the implications He did not
talk to me yesterday. In fact, we avoided each other,
or he didn't put a note in my life like usual.
I did try to make up with him at bedtime,
(15:03):
but he was not interested in discussing anything with me
quite yet, and he said he still needed time to
get his thoughts in order. Today, he was petty enough
to leave a note in my lunch, but it was
only a reminder that he was still mad at me
and that his packing my lunch didn't mean I was forgiven.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
He did not say that exactly.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
It was a heart shaped note that said f you
with a little angry face. Not the most mature, but okay,
still got a lunch. I guess when you're so petty,
you will still make lunch for someone to.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Get a penny off. Yeah, we were distant and cold
enough that our youngest felt the need to bring me
my dinner tonight when I wouldn't come down and asked
why we were fighting. Reminder, they have high school aged
three children, at least one of them high school aged,
so yeah, those kids are definitely picking up like yas
(15:54):
what's going on? What's going on with mommy and Daddy
hardguar Daddy and daddy yeah double daddy squared.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I just soothed him by saying it was over dumb,
grown up stuff. I can't stop thinking about it now,
and though I trust Galen June, they're acting extremely weird.
I also know that a large part of this falls
on me, as I didn't ever consider it that my
husband might care if I was a baby juice donor
for them, even if theoretically that seems to have heard
him the most in this bizarre, make believe situation. But
(16:22):
I don't understand why.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
I don't think it's that bizarre or make believe.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Yeah, Like, even if you don't fully understand it, why
can't you just respect your husband's feelings and concerns and
talk about.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
It, yeah, instead of shutting it down so immediately.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Yeah, Yeah, I wouldn't care if he was their baby
juice donor. Admittedly I agree with him that if he
or I was the father, I certainly would like to
know sooner rather than later. Yeah, especially if my husband is,
because I need to prepare for the crap storm if
he is. Because he is right, I'm sure a lot
of our family will question why they chose him over me.
(16:57):
But I just feel there was a time and a
play to ask that question, and I know June and
Gail wouldn't hide that from us. It has to be
Gail's and this was a huge overreaction on his part.
They both didn't tell you proactively, and then we're kind
of like shutting you down when you started. Yea, it's
(17:17):
so suspicious, but they did not make themselves look good.
I don't even know what to ask for exactly how
to make up with my husband, first and foremost about
the baby juice donor thing. I know I messed up there,
but does anyone have advice on how to handle the
paternity situation as well. I'm sure they're innocent, but I
don't know how to prove their innocence when they want
(17:38):
space and I don't want to wait nine months for
a paternity test because I don't want to keep having
this argument over and over. Thanks ahead of time for
any advice, provided we have a small edit update we.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Have more to the story.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Okay, but ladies and gentlemen and Sam, yes that's me.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
What do you think?
Speaker 1 (17:59):
I think the couple that is having this baby is
very suspicious, acting very suspicious. I think op is completely
oversimplifying and skimming over their partner's valid concerns. I think
they need to have a deep talk about this, and
I think OPI's partner just needs to be to be
(18:20):
heard in terms of finding out the truth, trying to
establish some kind of contact with your friends and saying
like hey, like or that was a special day and
I'm very happy for you, but like we have some
I think valid concerns about it, this child being one
of ours, and I just wanted to like know a
little bit more about the timeline.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
I feel like they're not saying that they should it's
at this point where they should do this right now.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
But I feel like they.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
Could probably get like a court ordered paternity test, especially
with the they probably have texts and stuff of.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Them saying like, oh, we're hooking up or like I.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Think you could do that, but that is that It
definitely is like a big Eschel not there yet. Yeah,
I don't think we're there yet, but like, I mean,
it could go all the way up to that point.
I would, but it would be it would be a lot.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
I think I think, like you said, we first need
to be like, hey, we have some valid concerns and
I think it's you know, fair to ask that you
can hear those out and we have a conversation about this.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
But we have a small edit slash update.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Ladies and gentlemen, I really want it to be theirs.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Ooh, I don't know which is a proper term, but
we're getting into it.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
My husband is still upset and so am I. Today
was bad.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
Anytime we spoke it led to a mini argument, admittedly
instigated on both sides. We were annoyed with each other.
I still think he's acting very self centered when this
should be a time of celebration for June and Gale,
something I don't even get to do with them because
he made them uncomfortable. He's basically locked himself to the bedroom.
And I'm writing this as I watch a movie with
(19:50):
the kids. He's acting so oddly and I don't know why,
but I'm going to just give him space. And Ladies
and gentlemen, we've graduated from the small update to the
big update pop update.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
All right, I'm ready for a big up.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Here we go. Who's the daddy? Let's see if we
find out. So thank you for your patience.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
This has been a doozy of a week sounds like it.
So I read all the replies and I responded to
a lot too. I appreciated all the different perspectives. My
husband and I did get to make up as best
we could for nat for right now, but our marriage
was in a way worse spot than I even knew.
I know I was pretty wishy washy in the comments,
(20:31):
but once we communicated, I understood reading myself back. With
his point of view in mind, I can see everything
so much clearer. Apparently he never wanted to be in
an open relationship in the first place. In fact, he
didn't even like me kissing someone else, so even the
hookup the group hookup before was cross the lines. When
(20:53):
I asked why he agreed to keep hooking up if
he regretted the first one, he explained that he would
do anything for me, and that he do a heck
of a lot for Gale in June two. So, just
like I guess, people pleasing to the max, a lot
of pleasing going on. So when all three of us
wanted to continue hooking up, he didn't want to be
(21:14):
the only one to say no and make everyone upset,
so instead he set boundaries that he thought would be enough,
but warn't.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
He thought that he'd just get used to it, and
he never grew okay with it.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I think he also never came forward with a second
or third or so hookup because the three of us
were very open about how much we enjoyed it, and
he always just smiled and nodded or shrugged until this
subject changed. He didn't like how we all interacted with
each other during or progressively after those hookups. Admittedly, I
see how lines were getting blurred. While we never went
(21:49):
one on one dates, we did jokingly flirt with each
other vocally and physically, something we did before, but now
he said it felt like it had undertones after everything.
It's like maybe jealous that he's getting with Gail, you know,
as a part of it too. He didn't like when
Gail and June would flirt with him, and he especially
didn't like when they flirted with me. That's when when
(22:11):
he also admitted he felt like he was competing for
my attention and affection, which I didn't get why. I
always thought I was pretty affectionate to him, but I
guess I wasn't reassuring him enough. It's also possible that
another new insecurity caused by the hookups. But it still
feels awful to know my husband could ever think that
I could love someone as much as him. Instead of
(22:32):
talking about it with us, he just let it all
ste and he started to resent Gail in June. Then
he just blew up his words, not mine, and he
admitted that wasn't fair and apologized.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
When I asked why.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
The final straw was the pregnancy specifically, he admitted it
was probably some culmination of his fears of this happening
anyways and the repercussions it would have on our friendship
as a whole.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
I mean, if he wasn't uncomfortable with you hooking up
with other people then and I could totally see why
he'd be uncomfortable with you fathering their child.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, and not already feeling like he's competing for love.
Imagine if he has a kid with them.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Yeah, And I believe correct me if I'm wrong. He
didn't know that. Months earlier, they had some kind of
conversation where Ope was open to the idea of being
a donor, But I believe the husband wasn't privy to
that conversation. I guess it didn't it didn't develop to
that point. So and when Gale and June got dodgy
(23:32):
about the exact date of how far along she was
in her pregnancy, he assumed that they had manipulated this
into happening. It really didn't help that it looked that
way too. At some points, I was even considering that
he was also just extremely uncomfortable with the thought of
me fathering someone else's child.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Yeah, I mean again, this is like totally normal.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
They valid concern We don't need a judge the concerns.
We can just listen first. We can have a conversation first.
He then asked why I agreed to be a baby
juice donor without telling him. I explained I didn't think
about it when I first offered, and since Gail turned
me down, I didn't think it was important. He informed
(24:15):
me that he would never have even suggested that without
talking to me first, and for me to not do
the same felt like I didn't care about his feelings
or his opinion in major decisions. This has been an
issue in the past with me making big decisions slash
offering things without talking about it first, so I understand
why he feels like this. I apologized and suggested we
go to therapy individually and together. He accepted that easily,
(24:37):
and we've gone in the past during our roughest patches,
so it's not a taboo topic for either of us.
It's just been a long while since we've gone.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Now for the bigger post and probably why you're all, yes.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Whose baby is it? Who is the father? Let's fine?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah, want to know?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Now?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
This is the tea.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
So after our talk, I helped my husband curate a
text to June and Gale where he apologized for ruining
their celebration dinner. He explained it in much less detail
what he told me about his insecurities over the change
in our relationship, and he was sorry for letting his
worries and pessimism get the.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Better of him.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
They were pretty understanding and apologized that he felt uncomfortable
with the arrangement. We all agreed to end it right there.
That's the group hookups, by the way, which I can't
convince my husband to not feel guilty over, but we're
working on it. As for the paternity, and while the
dates absolutely do line up, we all agreed it shouldn't
(25:43):
matter right now and we'd figured out whatever happens because
there is a world where like, oh, he's like, I'll
be the donor and everyone gets on the same page
and it's fine.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Like I think there's definitely world where it's fine, he's
just a donor. We all knew this risk of sleeping together.
And what mattered was June and g finally we're having
a baby. I think that soothed any remaining fears in
Jewel and Gale, because they admitted they refuse to get
specific about dates because they thought my husband was going
to fight for custody.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
What are we thinking about that?
Speaker 1 (26:14):
I mean, if it's his kid, he has the right
to fight for custody.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Yeah, and it's his kid exactly. He just has the
right to know. So it's like you can't withhold information.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Yeah. Him, it's the kind of whack.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
I get that you'd be afraid of that, but it's like, yeah,
he's entitled to He's entitled to that for so you know,
don't don't laugh, don't don't just say nothing.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
They asked to do a paternity test once she was
deeper in the third, in the second trimester.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Maybe even the third.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
By the way, you don't have to wait as long
as I was baking in my mom's stomach, which was
fifteen months.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
To get a near unlimited amount of incredible podcast episodes,
there's a lot. There's a lot because you can go
to Spotify, Apple iHeart and search Okay Storytime and get
an amazing catalog of again, almost limitless podcast episodes for
your listening to light Let's and Sophia, I'm curious on
(27:16):
quick closing thoughts from both of you before we get
into this finale.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
It's last a little bit.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Like like I said before, I really think that Opie's
significant other is entitled to know if that's their kid
or not. Indeed, and uh and the fact that their
their couple friend is is trying to obfuscate that feels
whack and suspicion.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
What's the use?
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Sophia, I agree. I think there's a lot of on
Ope's part, just a lot of you know, not really
considering his partner's feelings. And then on the front of
the Gale and June's part, they're being sneaky and weird
about it.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Sneaky.
Speaker 4 (28:02):
I want the DNA test.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
I want a DNA test too.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Where's the DNA test? Where As the paternity I think
we're about to get it. So things are extremely awkward,
and honestly, I don't think they'll get any better for
a while. My husband is still very uncomfortable around June
and Gale, no matter how many times we all try
to reassure him that no one's upset with him for
ending the hookups and that no one's upset about his reaction.
He's just distanced himself for now. I don't know what
(28:27):
else to do with the situation, but I think we
just need to spend time away from them and maybe
even a little more space from me as well, just
to build himself up a bit more beyond a relationship.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
I also know that Gail, June, and I feel bad.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
We never noticed how uncomfortable my husband was, but he
always said that he was fine, and being that shyness
to spicy related situations matches his personality.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
It made sense, but we should have just stopped. I
just wish he had told us, but I can see
why he didn't lie. It was just a crappy situation.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
I don't wish we didn't all sleep together, because it's
entirely possible that's what led to June finally getting pregnant,
but I wish things didn't end like this, but everyone
just feeling sad and guilty. I know there's no quick
fix here. I want to go back to normal. I
have to ask for more advice. But if there are more,
any more ideas you all might have on how to
make this less awkward.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
I mean, I'm not going to be that awkward, or
it's not going to be It's not going to be
easy for it to be not awkward. This is a
weird situation. I think you just got to wade into
the awkwardness absolutely and hope for the best.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Yeah, hope for the best. I think again, I feel
like you can get a donor type relationship legally, get
locked in. Uh you kind of get what you want.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Op.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
The family is out of everyone's hair. It's as uncomplicated
as possible, and that's it. I think that's all you
can do.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
It's all you can do. But I'm curious what y'all think,
uh oh, he should do.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
But I'm also curious to hear this next story.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
John here Og host, We're gonna get back to these stories,
but a quick three minute break from Hoss from our sponsors.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
I refuse to recover at home after surgery because my
husband prioritizes mother.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
No, don't do that.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
I twenty nine female, am really disappointed with my husband
thirty male and furious at his mother. Hag aged female.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
That's rough, that's original, though I've never seen that before.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Sorry, this is so long and throwaway for privacy. So
for context. My husband is from the West Coast. Let's
go where his mother still lived. He moved to the
East Coast for college and that's where we met after graduation,
and in the start of our relationship, she would visit
three to four times a year and make him take
pdo so he could entertain her throughout her visit. By
(30:59):
the way, this from puzzleheaded Tooth twenty five five and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay storytime separated it. So after two
years of this, while we were still dating, I asked
him how we are ever meant to go on vacation
together if his PTO is spent at home with his
visiting mother. We agreed to save PTO for a trip
(31:20):
to Europe we took in twenty twenty three, and he
agreed to tell his mother couldn't take off from work
every time she visited it, and my last job was
able to work from home four days a week. Every
time she visited, she's sulked all day like a puppy
who's had their toys taken away. But once my husband
(31:43):
came home, a switch flicked and she was happy and
clinging again. So here's the issue.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Now, are your eyes open? You're reading it like this.
Here's the issue.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
Now, Sophia coming in hot with the notes today.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
Your eyes are full closed.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
My eyes are open. They're not they are husband. I
just have eyes like that, don't I? Do you have
to open your eyes? I am husband and I move
states about six months ago, close to my family. I
have a new doctor who recommended me for a surgery
(32:23):
that my old doc kept putting off. It's not a
complicated procedure and it will greatly increase my quality of
life for decades. My mother in law decided my mother
in law decided she's due for a visit.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
Your eyes are fine. Stop.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
My mother in law decided she's due for My mother
in law decided she's due for a visit and wants
to explore our town and she'd come to help around
the house while OPI recovers I'm going to be out
of surgery and in pain, and I really don't want
to put up with her energy. However, we agreed, with
my husband saying, this isn't a sight seeing visit.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
She's here to see sights with her eyes. No, not
uh uh.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
She's here to help out, cook, clean laundry so I
can rest and recover. She can come for a proper
visit later in the year. My husband dropped me off
at the hospital on Wednesday, it was meant to be surgery,
and then one night overnight at the hospital for observations.
On Thursday, the doctor told me my labs were not
where he'd like them to be and I should stay
(33:36):
another night for observation and new lab work. In the morning,
I called my husband and told him that i'd hopefully
be home the next day over the phone early afternoon.
He did not visit on Thursday at all.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
We are not going to make it through this story.
We have to lock in as a team, lock in
as a family.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
As a family. We're locking My eyes are open.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Yeah, I know, look at those beepers, all right.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
So on Friday, I was discharged and called my husband
to tell him i'd be ready in about an hour,
it went straight to voicemail, and I figured he's probably
in a meeting, and I'll try again in a little bit.
After calling a few times over the course of the hour,
I called my sister, who was lucky enough to be
excused from work for the afternoon many thanks to her
understanding boss. She drove ninety minutes to get me and
(34:28):
took me home, and the house was in shambles, laundry
baskets on the dining room table, the litter box not
cleaned since Wednesday morning, days of dirty plates in the sink, et, cetera.
And I just broke down crying. She packed me a
bag and took me to her apartment to recover for
(34:50):
two weeks. On Friday night, my husband called me, asking
me where I am and that the hospital said I
was already discharged. Been on a hike with his mother,
and there was no cell service, so he missed my calls,
which also meant he took PTO first mom visit again. Mmm,
(35:12):
obviously I can't ban him from taking PTO, But wouldn't
you rather spend that freedom time with your wife at
the hospital instead of on a date with your mom?
Speaker 2 (35:24):
And what kind of date with my mom.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
I mean it was aphoon date.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Nature. I like nature and my mom.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Yeah. So I mean also, you're you're asking him to
choose between the nature and the hospital's. Dude's like, why
would I Why would I go spend time with you
in a hospital.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
That's boring when I can go out there breathe in
fresh clean air, see some trees. Yeah, there's no trees
in a hospital.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
There's no no trees. I'm trying to live life and
breathe there and know somehow I'm going to get there, Yeah,
and have life be so wonderful. I'm gonna go on
that hike. I told him that I no longer feel
comfortable recovering in our house, and I won't be returning
(36:12):
until it's thoroughly clean and his mother is gone, the
dirtiest wench of them all. He's calling me the a
hole because his mother just wanted to get to know
our new area and I was able to leave the
hospital anyway, and that I was making a big deal
out of this. I gelt that he essentially abandoned me
(36:33):
at the hospital and entertained someone who's being here was
to help make recovery easier, not more stressful, true, and
that she was here for support, not on a vacation,
not to make things.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
So much harder. I mean, she leaves them with this
like pigsty and then now is like getting Op's husband
on her side so that opis no one supporting her after.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
She just had surgery.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Yeah, and the whole point was like, oh, I'll cook
or clean, I'll like do everything that you doing nothing.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
You make it worse.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
She don't cook, she don't clean. Maybe it's just the
pain and pain meds. But am I wrong? Here's a
stupid hill to pass away on. There's part of me
telling me just to visit a divorce lawyer to see
what my options are because I'm not sure this will
ever change. I know this is going to sound incredibly selfish,
but I want kids, but I now don't see myself
(37:26):
having any with my husband in the foreseeable future. And
if this isn't going to work out, I don't want
to spend the next five years of wasting time and
money on therapy and missing a chance to find someone
I actually can start a family with someone who can
be a committed father and husband before he's a son.
Many thanks to anyone who's read all of this, and
we do have comments, we do have an update. We
(37:49):
are less than halfway through. Wow, John, I want to
know what you think. But I'm also going to take
out my contacts and put on glasses so I'm not
squinty McGee.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
I Sam.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
Yes, So, I think that it's very clear that the
husband is not at all siding with his partner in life,
his wife that he showsen to be with, and it's
it's insane to me that he he basically abandoned her.
Was it while she was in the hospital that they
were doing the hike. It's kind of sounded like.
Speaker 4 (38:23):
It, Yeah, I think, so I'll double check that.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Yeah, so we'll double check on that.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
But like at any point, you know, before, during after,
it's like, Okay, why are you going on the hike
with the mom. It's clearly not communicating or getting the
check in or o K from her. She needs you
right now, and Mom's the whole spiel to let mom
stay was like, oh, she'll actually like help and cook
and clean and stuff, which is doing the opposite.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
It seems like from what I'm reading, it seems like, uh,
what seems like the husband like calls her and it's like, hey,
where are you because they said that you were discharged
on Friday, and it's like, I'm going on a hike
with his mom, so I didn't know where you were.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
So okay.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
So it's like, yeah, so's she's been with her sister.
She's been recovering with her sister. But like she was
discharged from the hospital and had her sister pick her
up because he was on a hike with his mom.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Yeah, with no service. Crazy. He's like, there's no babe,
how am I supposed to see the trees?
Speaker 4 (39:25):
When yeah, yeah, sorry, so she was discharged, he didn't
pick up. She gets her sister and then.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
He's like, where were you? Yeap? What are you doing? Brother? Uh?
Speaker 3 (39:35):
So yeah, I think he needs to drop his mom
and maybe start uh maybe go to ask op and
be like, hey, I'm so sorry, Like how can I
be more supportive now?
Speaker 1 (39:44):
If he didn't drop his mom and his girlfriend's gonna
drop him?
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Uh oh sounds true.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
So comments you know you're crazy, says he left you
alone in the hospital. He went somewhere without self service
when he knew you were being discharged. He didn't call
you back until that night, hours after you were meant
to be discharged. This man is ridiculous and that is unforgivable.
(40:09):
Let his mom have him. You are not overreacting thinking
about divorce and you were definitely not the a hole.
And mm leven Cake says, this being unreachable while your
wife is in the hospital is despicable. But he must
have had miss calls and messages from her because she
called him when they wanted to just charge her. Did
(40:29):
he not have effing voicemails from her that said, hey, babe,
where are you They want to discharge me? I needed
to come pick me up? And he never called her back.
And the alienated Penguin said, it is despicable and unforgivable.
Then the house on top of it. I don't think
I could come back from that. Beth twenty one, two
eighty six says he's her next of kin who was
going to make medical decisions if there had been an
(40:51):
emergency or she required further surgery and couldn't consent. This
man isn't worth the carbon he's made from.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
That's I've never heard that. That's that's a wild that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
And must Ike Bedenkan says, what the flying f he
is an a hole. His mother is the a hole.
You are not an a hole. No, I didn't fall
on caps lock. I'm mad, not the a hole. Additional,
this is not a stupid hill to pass away on.
You're passing away alone on that hill because your husband
will be hiking with his mother around the hill and
(41:26):
ignore you. Go and see a lawyer. He left you
when you needed him most. And judgment is not the
a hole. And we have an update one month later, John,
Are we feeling good about this relationship?
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Not at all.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
I think we need to clearly communicate like, hey, you
you know not being there, Like here's all the thing
that's wrong again, Mom. We need we need to put
a lid on mom because she seems to like come
in and just do something like, oh, let's go on hike.
I wonder if she intentionally invited him on the hike
during the surgery.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
I think she's actively trying to avatage in the relationship,
which that wants her little boy, her little boy toy.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
I mean that commentary.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
I didn't even think about it that commentary was like
she would be uh, he would be her next of kids.
So I guess as like decision making power, like what
if something happened to her, and like if the mother
law is the one that like instigated that, and oh god, terrible.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Terrible, pretty bad, pretty bad. But luckily, John, we don't
have to just exist in suspense. Oh about this one,
we can go straight into the update. Let's dive right in.
All right, So update one month later. Hi all, I
posted a month ago about my husband basically abandoning me
at the hospital to entertain his visiting mother. I thought
(42:42):
i'd post an update. We're done. Oh, I'm still at
my sister's place and my boss is letting me work
remotely to the commute. But I have an apartment i'm
moving into in July that's a ten minute drive from
my job. Thank you. Everyone who responded was bit overwhelming.
I went into defensive mode and thought I put my
(43:03):
husband in a bad light. But you all really slapped
the rose colored glasses off me. We spoke on the
phone every day the first week I was away. He
asked his mother to leave asap so i'd feel comfortable
coming back home after a week. I told him I
still needed space and I was coming the next day
to grab more things. Once he saw that I had
an empty bag and my sister brought two empty piece
(43:25):
of luggage. He realized, I'm taking a lot because I'm
not planning to come back soon. He asked to talk,
and I figured we should get it done and over with.
I told him we needed to separate. He tried to
argue that his mother only visits a few weeks out
of the year and that things are great otherwise. I
told him that the issue is he expects me to
(43:46):
be okay during those weeks, with him ignoring my feelings
to cater to hers. I said, things don't magically go
back to normal when she leaves. There's resentment towards him
for weeks for him doing it again, and self hatred
for me allowing it to happen again. He asked to
go back to couples therapy. I told him it didn't
work last time. We had a great therapist who helped
(44:09):
him put boundaries in place and to be able to
deliver consequences when his mother overreached. But as soon as
she arrived, she'd break one boundary, he'd let it pass,
and then she had carte blanche to step on all
of them.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Oh we don't like that, Yeah, we don't like that
kind of stop.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
I Also, it's not that the mother is visiting, you know,
a few times a week and he's spending time with her.
It's that he is letting his mother stomp all over
the boundaries, Like it's fine to have your mom visit
and spend time with her, but it's not fine to
leave the house an absolute pig style. It's not fine
to abandon your wife while she's in the hospital. It's
(44:47):
not fine to just let your mom walk over your
entire relationship. And I think that's exactly what he's done.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
Well said I mean, and again, if she was actually
like cooking, cleaning, like doing what she said in the
beginning of a story of helping out O, people probably like, hey,
bring her over more, like, let's have her as much
as we can.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
So, yeah, bro, you are not getting bit she's a
terrible house guest. And when I tried to reinforce them,
I get no support and I'd be the bad guy.
Here's where I may have been a bit mean though.
I told him I'm turning thirty this year and I
want to start a family, but I can't see starting
one with him if he can't put me first. When
I'm just out of surgery. Why would I think he'd
(45:26):
put our children first. I reminded him that his mother
is retiring in less than ten years. What happens when
she decides she's frail and lonely? I asked him if
he'd move her in, whether I was okay with it
or not. He replied, I'm all she has. It really
hit me then. This was not the life I thought
we were building together. It was not the life I
(45:48):
wanted or could settle for. He asked if he was
really that bad of a husband. I sort of lied
and said, no, but you're just not the husband I need. Hey,
it's Sam, We're going to get back to these stories.
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
I mean, because basically it's like, uh, this is referring
to like him, like not showing up the hospital totally annoying.
I mean, I I think it is a lot fair
in this specific context to tell him like, hey, you know,
you messed up. You weren't by my side, you didn't
you didn't call me, and I'm you know, I think
(46:25):
that's good and fair feedback to give him as well.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
So I also like with the idea of the mother
moving in, you know that is a common thing for
people to do to have their moms. Yep, move in.
I mean, especially like in other cultures and such. But
you guys both have to be on board. You can't
gotta both be can't. You can't just be moving someone
(46:49):
in with or without their permission.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
Can't shove your mom down someone else's throat.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
No, you can't do it. And so this is not
the life you want. Don't don't don't stop living it,
stop living it, throw it out. Not forgetting out of here.
I told him he either needs a wife who's okay
with being the side piece in his relationship with his mother,
or no wife at all, who dang. I left with
my sister, and ten minutes into the ride back to
(47:17):
her place, his mother called me. I sent it the voicemail.
Ab I started laughing, and my sister asked, what was
so funny. I said, the first thing he did was
call his mommy and taddle on me for leaving. Yep.
Papers have been served and it's pretty amicable so far.
Fingers crossed, and there are some comments. Ooh, anonymous head
(47:41):
one two three says good for you for sending up
for yourself. A little throwaway said he called his mom immediately.
Congratulations on ditching that loser baby man boy. Cicata Nois says,
if Op needs any other indicators that she did the
best thing for herself, this detail right here. Nosey Bystanders says,
he already has a wife. Her name is Mommy. Playing
ten seven, seven and five says, yep, he's a great
(48:02):
husband to Mommy and a crap one to Ope. I
mean that's where that story ends, John, But like, do
you think Op put down the right boundaries? Do you
think it was too harsh? Do you think it was
not harsh enough? What are your thoughts?
Speaker 3 (48:17):
I mean she basically said like, hey, I don't want
your mom around, right, And it was it was only
with the mom being like, oh I'll cook, clean and
like being a help that she like acquiesced to it, right.
So I think that was a good boundary initially that
they just blew past. Alicia says, I'm leaving you because
(48:37):
you can never put me first. Then immediately he calls
his mom.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
Alex Thompson says, your mother can still be important to you,
but the second you throw your wife under the bus,
you no longer deserve her. I think that was another
huge issue that we had is Ope and her partner
agreed on boundaries, yes that they would and forced together
and as soon as the mother transgressed one of those boundaries, oh,
(49:05):
Pie's husband did not support op and like like reaffirming
those I think you know that. That shows what side
of the team Opie's husband is on.
Speaker 2 (49:16):
Yeah, he he will.
Speaker 3 (49:17):
He'll give you lip service and not respect what you
guys decide as a team together and not and not
like specifically uphold for like your well being.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
Right.
Speaker 3 (49:29):
So yeah, pretty pretty pretty cutting, cutting, clear case of
a MoMA's.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
Boy and dry. I think it was important to set
him free, kind them loose.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
Yeah, OPI Opie did the right thing.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
Yeah, but that is where that story and those episode ends. No,
don't don't do it. I'm gonna do it. No, I'm
doing it. I'm doing it. So if you love us,
make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
We love you. And seeing them a
This is Cowboy Sam and this is Eh John, And
we've last showed in some amazing stories for y'all the
Okay Storytime podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
But before that, we got.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
To wrangle a quick little two minute out break from
those bucking sponsors.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
We bucking love so much they're paying us the bucks
to help this show stay alive. My friend is pregnant.
My husband is convinced it's either his or mine. Oh boy,
A little confusion trigger warning.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
There is a pregnancy loss and miscarriages in the story.
If you want to go to another one, please do that,
but we're gonna get into this one.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Oh daddy, who's the daddy? Well?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I tried to stay off social media, but I have
no clue where to go since three people I would
go to are the three people involved in this some
background everyone are their current ages. I forty two Mail,
have been involved with Gail forty two Mail since I
was in my senior year of high school, and it
became close when he started dating his now wife June
(00:54):
forty three. I got even closer with her as we
had way more in common.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Wait wait, so so Op and Gail were romantically.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Inlved romantically involved a forty two Mail and forty two
Mail ye Op and Gail, and then there's the wife
June forty three as well. By the way, this comes
from a throwaway, dumb decision And if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay
storytime subbreddits. June was diagnosed with PCOS at sixteen and
was told she'd have a very low probability of having kids. Unfortunately,
(01:26):
Gail also had fertility issues, so the chances of having
children are near impossible. They've tried IVF four times and
every time they lost the baby sometime in the first trimester.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
That is rough. Yeah, and also that process is not
easy on the body.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Oh like super hard on the body, just like the
expectation and the heartbreak four times.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
When I first started dating my husband forty eight Mail,
I found out he worked in social work and I
got to ask about the adoption process and he was
very open about it. This is all info I passed
on to Gale in June, but they still were trying
to make IVF work, so they weren't interested at the time.
My husband became fast friends with them, and after a
few years Galen June decided on their own to adopt,
(02:09):
so we helped them. Amazing, that's great. They adopted two
boys from a rough background. They love these boys, but
they always wanted to raise a baby together. My husband
and I also have three kids around the same age
that we adopted, but that's not important to the story
at hand. Now that that's out of the way, here's
even more context for the problem at hand. A lot
of at hands. All of our kids are now in
(02:31):
high school and my husband and I's oldest is in college.
We all found out we had a lot more free
time on our hands, so we started hanging out more.
But we do game nights, movie nights, weekends away, et cetera.
Also shout out to like older into watching our kids
and still like making the time to hang out. One
night when the kids were gone, we all hung out
being dumb, horny, wasted or high on some stupid mixture
(02:53):
of both, and flat out stupid.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
We had the grand idea to.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
All hook up all of them. So it's the three
guys and the one girl.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Four people.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Now, so Opie and his husband Yep, and then a
Gale and his wife June. Yeah, so we're just we're
just mass frickin orgy.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Wow. Wow while the kids are at high school. Wow.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yeah wow, So it is a full that that's a
full on spit roast.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
They're gone for man.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
All of us were pretty open, spicy, sleep wise, so
it was whatever we had fun.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
So we all agreed we could very occasionally.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Continue doing this with the permission of everyone's partners. We
never did one on one with each other's partners, so
I wouldn't call it polyamory. We didn't even do threesomes
or foursomes. I guess it was always one weekend every
month or two where the four of us went on
vacation together and kind of just all hooked up. I
(03:54):
don't know what we were thinking, but we must stress
we did use protection, all right.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Hey, listen, I like that he's not saying like I'm
a stret Like he's like, we are coming today.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Yes, they get a whole it's it's it's group activity.
You know, no one's left out, sharing is caring.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
That's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful, beautiful I truly
believe uh uh. The strongest society is a society that
all hooks up with each other. Wow. I truly believe that.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Here we go ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
So for the past three weeks, June's been pretty sick,
yet it didn't seem to affect her emotionally at all.
No matter how sick she got, she still wore a
genuine grin, even if only slightly. Gail was also pretty
happy as well. I thought it was weird, but my
husband wasn't two phased, so I let it go. That
was until two days ago. June and Gail called us
(04:48):
to a celebratory dinner, but said what we were celebrating
was a surprise. Before we ate, Gail poured out the
drinks and I noticed that June wasn't drinking. Oh boy,
she started a new diet.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Oh boy, a.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Diet that is young. I tried to think of a
clever mom. It didn't work. It didn't work.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Sorry, guys, sometimes you shoot, sometimes you missy.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
You know, a baby die.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
These people.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
We're trying over here, So I guess you noticed my staring.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
And she started crying and happily and laughing, happy, nodding,
and confirmed that yes she was pregnant.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Let's go, But whose is it?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
But whose is it? Who's the father?
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
This is like a Mama Mia type situation. Yeah, we
got three boys.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
That happened. They all I also know.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Awkward following silence, Did you have any more? He wanted?
Did no, you don't get those.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Thus this is the question. I haven't watched MoMA Me
in a while.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I don't think you've ever watched Momia.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I think. I don't think that I remember the opening scene.
But if the opening scene is something like that.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
The opening scene is them seeing Mamma.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Mia maat down anyway, anywhoy. So she was a few
weeks long, but they wouldn't announce it until she made
it to the second trimester. I was ecstatic and quickly
ran over to hug Gail and her gently. Of Course,
when I looked at my husband, instead of a happy face.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
He looked suspicious.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
The best face I can reference is that woman doing
a math meme or the Futurama squint.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Hmm.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
He just looked accusing, not the normal reaction to friends
being pregnant, especially given the circumstances. He then asked how
far along are you again, very rudely, which is shocking
because he never takes a tone with people. Gail and
June started uttering, June saying that she didn't know. While
Gail was saying that it didn't really matter, my husband
pushed the issue. They both then started getting very defensive,
(07:09):
suddenly saying it wasn't his business. He said it was
his business as nine weeks ago aligned with something we
all did together aka.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
The hook Oh Boy. And again as a reminder, the
husband of the pregnant lady was infernile or at least
had swimmers that weren't swimming too well.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
I think those are pretty relevant questions, your husband's asked me.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I think so.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
We We did not have Michael Phelps and Ryan Lacy
on our Is that his.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Name on our swim?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
No, we don't.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
They're not present.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Who can't swim? Yeah? Bag of sand?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Old bag of.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Sand didn't make it to TSA this year. So they
angrily punted us out. The second we got into the car.
What we started fighting, and I mean really having a go.
He was fuming at me for not taking a side
and asking, do you really not see the problem here? Honestly,
I don't see a problem.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Though.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I don't think that Junior Gail would hide this from
either of us if one of us could have been
the dad.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I don't know, man, how they're acting is suspicious. Yeah, yeah,
I think they very well could be the dad.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
It's like a huge live of omission to just be like, oh, hey,
we're pregnant, but it's like, hey, you're pregnant from around
the time we all hooked up, so like you're kind
of omitting that one of us.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Very easily could be the father.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Nilsen says, some fertility issues can be helped, so maybe
husband tried a new treatment or something. I mean not
to say that that couldn't happen, but that did go
through IVA four times.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Four times. You're telling me he didn't try the treatment
earlier than that before. Like IVF is not cheap. It's
like twelve k per session or something.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
I think it's like, of course it could be a possibility,
but also it seems like they're totally discounting the fact
that the other two guys could be The timing.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Is very suspicious.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Also, she is forty three, by the way, so just
kind of an insane overall scenario, like that's it's very
pretty miraculous, honestly that she got pregnant that late given
her previous issues.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Yeah, he said that they should have just confirmed that
then if if like one of them was the father,
or if there was anything suspicious.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
He believes the fact.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
That they skirted around the topic and got angry it
was cause for concern.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I agree, I.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Think, being like very naive, Yeah, agree, little naive.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Like it could be a case where they're still happy,
but it's like, are they like chill with that? You know,
they didn't ask They didn't ask that, which, if by
some chance one of us was a dad, it more
likely than not would have been me, as my husband
is more preferential to me and Gale than June.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
He still does hook up with her during our.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Vacations, so it's possible he it might be the father,
but not likely. I also don't see an issue if
I was a father, because Gale and I discussed with
me being a baby juice donor in the past, as
I look quite a bit like June. When I explained
that to my husband, he blew up, saying he wasn't
comfortable with the thought of me fathering someone else's kid,
(10:17):
which I found ridiculous. We now have a made huge
misalignment here.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I don't think it's out of the question. Yeah, to
be a little uncomfortable with your partner fathering another kid.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I think that is definitely a conversation.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
It's obviously, I think totally okay if the other person
is like people are donors all the time and have
agreement and everyone's everything's in on it.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
But yeah, that is like, is that going to be
your child?
Speaker 4 (10:44):
Now?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
What does that look like?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It does kind of yet it complicates things. It complicates things.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Good to like have the discussion to kind of like,
you know, get to the bottom of it. Oh interesting,
whoa Nina Nelson says info pcos people can get more
fertile with age until menopause.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
WHOA, interestingly not know that.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
I did not know that either.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Is it like you start off like super unfertile because
of the pcus at the time, and it like gradually
like kind of like releases. It's its hold on the
fertility kind of a thing. A little Benjamin Button type situation.
Let me know, Benjamin Button uterus, let me know, but
I'm researching. Uh, producer, Sophia is on the case. She
(11:30):
will let us know when she finds it. That would
be my decision, not his, and I would be supporting
our friends. He then asked what would the four of
us do if he was the father. I think it's
more important to mention now that my husband is Middle Eastern,
darker skin, extremely curly dark hair, dark eyes, and very
middle Eastern facial features. Meanwhile, June and Gale are white,
June being blonde and Gale having light brown, straight hair
(11:52):
with very Eurocentric features. So it'd be very obvious if
he was the father, especially given he's the only person
in their immediate group with those features. It doesn't help
that June's family, specifically her mom's side of the family,
is discriminatory, so any mixed baby she would have would
face a crapstorm in her family. I wonder how she
feels about their orgy. I'm very curious. Probably not great,
(12:19):
Probably doesn't love that, probably doesn't love this. He pointed
out that if we didn't get the paternity clear now
and he was the father, it would look like he
and June had an affair, and we'd have to explain
our hookups to all three families, June's, Gail's, and mine.
That would be I mean, you could just say they're
a donor, which like, yeah, yeah, could, I mean, It's like,
(12:40):
but it be more.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Fun to explain your hookups in.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Detail, dude, just like, guys, look, we turned forty three
and we're like, we got an orgy. That's that's what
we need to do here. That would be mortifying for
obvious reasons. I told him he was being ridiculous and
selfish and that this was June and Gail's baby first,
and he was villainizing them when they had yet to
be proven guilty. I mean, technically, if if it is
(13:04):
one of you guys's babies, it's literally literally one of
your babies first, like from a biological perspective, From a
biological perspective.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Yeah, I mean I think Op is being way too
dismissive here.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Yeah, Like I think he needs to consider his partner's
feelings like it is. That is a shock, you know,
like I could. Yeah see you need to process that.
Yeah yeah, Yeah. That pissed him off. We had a
screaming match the whole drive home that continued when we
got home. It didn't help at Jun and Gale fanning
the flames by texting us that they didn't want to
(13:38):
see either of us for a little while about how
he ruined a good moment. Why I don't blame them
for being emotional I just wish that they had just
let it sit for the night. But it also falls
on me because I was the one to use it
against him in the argument. It all derailed into a
fight about when and why I had agreed I would
be a baby juice downer if they needed one without
(14:01):
talking to him, which got me sentenced to the spare
bed in my office for the past two nights and
tonight as well. By the looks of it, especially given
this this scenario, I feel like the legal default is
Gail would not be the father of this child.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
So it'd be like, Oh, it's like their family, it's
their baby, like it's it's it's them.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
But it's like, dude, unless you like take legal action,
if it's if it was you or or your husband,
one of you would legally be the father legally be like, you're.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
Not a sperm donner. Yeah you're You're just not if
that is your child you had spicy sleep, Yeah, you're
not a sperm donner. It's a totally different scenario.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Yeah, And like I feel like you could probably do
the paperwork to essentially to be to be that. Yeah,
but we're not there right now. And you know, husband's
like yo, like, what are the implications He did not
talk to me yesterday. In fact, we avoided each other,
or he didn't put a note in my life like usual.
I did try to make up with him at bedtime,
(15:03):
but he was not interested in discussing anything with me
quite yet, and he said he still needed time to
get his thoughts in order. Today, he was petty enough
to leave a note in my lunch, but it was
only a reminder that he was still mad at me
and that his packing my lunch didn't mean I was forgiven.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
He did not say that exactly.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
It was a heart shaped note that said f you
with a little angry face. Not the most mature, but okay,
still got a lunch. I guess when you're so petty,
you will still make lunch for someone to.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Get a penny off. Yeah, we were distant and cold
enough that our youngest felt the need to bring me
my dinner tonight when I wouldn't come down and asked
why we were fighting. Reminder, they have high school aged
three children, at least one of them high school aged,
so yeah, those kids are definitely picking up like yas
(15:54):
what's going on? What's going on with mommy and Daddy
hardguar Daddy and daddy yeah double daddy squared.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I just soothed him by saying it was over dumb,
grown up stuff. I can't stop thinking about it now,
and though I trust Galen June, they're acting extremely weird.
I also know that a large part of this falls
on me, as I didn't ever consider it that my
husband might care if I was a baby juice donor
for them, even if theoretically that seems to have heard
him the most in this bizarre, make believe situation. But
(16:22):
I don't understand why.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
I don't think it's that bizarre or make believe.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Yeah, Like, even if you don't fully understand it, why
can't you just respect your husband's feelings and concerns and
talk about.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
It, yeah, instead of shutting it down so immediately.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Yeah, Yeah, I wouldn't care if he was their baby
juice donor. Admittedly I agree with him that if he
or I was the father, I certainly would like to
know sooner rather than later. Yeah, especially if my husband is,
because I need to prepare for the crap storm if
he is. Because he is right, I'm sure a lot
of our family will question why they chose him over me.
(16:57):
But I just feel there was a time and a
play to ask that question, and I know June and
Gail wouldn't hide that from us. It has to be
Gail's and this was a huge overreaction on his part.
They both didn't tell you proactively, and then we're kind
of like shutting you down when you started. Yea, it's
(17:17):
so suspicious, but they did not make themselves look good.
I don't even know what to ask for exactly how
to make up with my husband, first and foremost about
the baby juice donor thing. I know I messed up there,
but does anyone have advice on how to handle the
paternity situation as well. I'm sure they're innocent, but I
don't know how to prove their innocence when they want
(17:38):
space and I don't want to wait nine months for
a paternity test because I don't want to keep having
this argument over and over. Thanks ahead of time for
any advice, provided we have a small edit update we.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Have more to the story.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Okay, but ladies and gentlemen and Sam, yes that's me.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
What do you think?
Speaker 1 (17:59):
I think the couple that is having this baby is
very suspicious, acting very suspicious. I think op is completely
oversimplifying and skimming over their partner's valid concerns. I think
they need to have a deep talk about this, and
I think OPI's partner just needs to be to be
(18:20):
heard in terms of finding out the truth, trying to
establish some kind of contact with your friends and saying
like hey, like or that was a special day and
I'm very happy for you, but like we have some
I think valid concerns about it, this child being one
of ours, and I just wanted to like know a
little bit more about the timeline.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
I feel like they're not saying that they should it's
at this point where they should do this right now.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
But I feel like they.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
Could probably get like a court ordered paternity test, especially
with the they probably have texts and stuff of.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Them saying like, oh, we're hooking up or like I.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Think you could do that, but that is that It
definitely is like a big Eschel not there yet. Yeah,
I don't think we're there yet, but like, I mean,
it could go all the way up to that point.
I would, but it would be it would be a lot.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
I think I think, like you said, we first need
to be like, hey, we have some valid concerns and
I think it's you know, fair to ask that you
can hear those out and we have a conversation about this.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
But we have a small edit slash update.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Ladies and gentlemen, I really want it to be theirs.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Ooh, I don't know which is a proper term, but
we're getting into it.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
My husband is still upset and so am I. Today
was bad.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
Anytime we spoke it led to a mini argument, admittedly
instigated on both sides. We were annoyed with each other.
I still think he's acting very self centered when this
should be a time of celebration for June and Gale,
something I don't even get to do with them because
he made them uncomfortable. He's basically locked himself to the bedroom.
And I'm writing this as I watch a movie with
(19:50):
the kids. He's acting so oddly and I don't know why,
but I'm going to just give him space. And Ladies
and gentlemen, we've graduated from the small update to the
big update pop update.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
All right, I'm ready for a big up.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Here we go. Who's the daddy? Let's see if we
find out. So thank you for your patience.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
This has been a doozy of a week sounds like it.
So I read all the replies and I responded to
a lot too. I appreciated all the different perspectives. My
husband and I did get to make up as best
we could for nat for right now, but our marriage
was in a way worse spot than I even knew.
I know I was pretty wishy washy in the comments,
(20:31):
but once we communicated, I understood reading myself back. With
his point of view in mind, I can see everything
so much clearer. Apparently he never wanted to be in
an open relationship in the first place. In fact, he
didn't even like me kissing someone else, so even the
hookup the group hookup before was cross the lines. When
(20:53):
I asked why he agreed to keep hooking up if
he regretted the first one, he explained that he would
do anything for me, and that he do a heck
of a lot for Gale in June two. So, just
like I guess, people pleasing to the max, a lot
of pleasing going on. So when all three of us
wanted to continue hooking up, he didn't want to be
(21:14):
the only one to say no and make everyone upset,
so instead he set boundaries that he thought would be enough,
but warn't.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
He thought that he'd just get used to it, and
he never grew okay with it.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I think he also never came forward with a second
or third or so hookup because the three of us
were very open about how much we enjoyed it, and
he always just smiled and nodded or shrugged until this
subject changed. He didn't like how we all interacted with
each other during or progressively after those hookups. Admittedly, I
see how lines were getting blurred. While we never went
(21:49):
one on one dates, we did jokingly flirt with each
other vocally and physically, something we did before, but now
he said it felt like it had undertones after everything.
It's like maybe jealous that he's getting with Gail, you know,
as a part of it too. He didn't like when
Gail and June would flirt with him, and he especially
didn't like when they flirted with me. That's when when
(22:11):
he also admitted he felt like he was competing for
my attention and affection, which I didn't get why. I
always thought I was pretty affectionate to him, but I
guess I wasn't reassuring him enough. It's also possible that
another new insecurity caused by the hookups. But it still
feels awful to know my husband could ever think that
I could love someone as much as him. Instead of
(22:32):
talking about it with us, he just let it all
ste and he started to resent Gail in June. Then
he just blew up his words, not mine, and he
admitted that wasn't fair and apologized.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
When I asked why.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
The final straw was the pregnancy specifically, he admitted it
was probably some culmination of his fears of this happening
anyways and the repercussions it would have on our friendship
as a whole.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
I mean, if he wasn't uncomfortable with you hooking up
with other people then and I could totally see why
he'd be uncomfortable with you fathering their child.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, and not already feeling like he's competing for love.
Imagine if he has a kid with them.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Yeah, And I believe correct me if I'm wrong. He
didn't know that. Months earlier, they had some kind of
conversation where Ope was open to the idea of being
a donor, But I believe the husband wasn't privy to
that conversation. I guess it didn't it didn't develop to
that point. So and when Gale and June got dodgy
(23:32):
about the exact date of how far along she was
in her pregnancy, he assumed that they had manipulated this
into happening. It really didn't help that it looked that
way too. At some points, I was even considering that
he was also just extremely uncomfortable with the thought of
me fathering someone else's child.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Yeah, I mean again, this is like totally normal.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
They valid concern We don't need a judge the concerns.
We can just listen first. We can have a conversation first.
He then asked why I agreed to be a baby
juice donor without telling him. I explained I didn't think
about it when I first offered, and since Gail turned
me down, I didn't think it was important. He informed
(24:15):
me that he would never have even suggested that without
talking to me first, and for me to not do
the same felt like I didn't care about his feelings
or his opinion in major decisions. This has been an
issue in the past with me making big decisions slash
offering things without talking about it first, so I understand
why he feels like this. I apologized and suggested we
go to therapy individually and together. He accepted that easily,
(24:37):
and we've gone in the past during our roughest patches,
so it's not a taboo topic for either of us.
It's just been a long while since we've gone.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Now for the bigger post and probably why you're all, yes.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Whose baby is it? Who is the father? Let's fine?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah, want to know?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Now?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
This is the tea.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
So after our talk, I helped my husband curate a
text to June and Gale where he apologized for ruining
their celebration dinner. He explained it in much less detail
what he told me about his insecurities over the change
in our relationship, and he was sorry for letting his
worries and pessimism get the.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Better of him.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
They were pretty understanding and apologized that he felt uncomfortable
with the arrangement. We all agreed to end it right there.
That's the group hookups, by the way, which I can't
convince my husband to not feel guilty over, but we're
working on it. As for the paternity, and while the
dates absolutely do line up, we all agreed it shouldn't
(25:43):
matter right now and we'd figured out whatever happens because
there is a world where like, oh, he's like, I'll
be the donor and everyone gets on the same page
and it's fine.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Like I think there's definitely world where it's fine, he's
just a donor. We all knew this risk of sleeping together.
And what mattered was June and g finally we're having
a baby. I think that soothed any remaining fears in
Jewel and Gale, because they admitted they refuse to get
specific about dates because they thought my husband was going
to fight for custody.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
What are we thinking about that?
Speaker 1 (26:14):
I mean, if it's his kid, he has the right
to fight for custody.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Yeah, and it's his kid exactly. He just has the
right to know. So it's like you can't withhold information.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Yeah. Him, it's the kind of whack.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
I get that you'd be afraid of that, but it's like, yeah,
he's entitled to He's entitled to that for so you know,
don't don't laugh, don't don't just say nothing.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
They asked to do a paternity test once she was
deeper in the third, in the second trimester.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Maybe even the third.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
By the way, you don't have to wait as long
as I was baking in my mom's stomach, which was
fifteen months.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
To get a near unlimited amount of incredible podcast episodes,
there's a lot. There's a lot because you can go
to Spotify, Apple iHeart and search Okay Storytime and get
an amazing catalog of again, almost limitless podcast episodes for
your listening to light Let's and Sophia, I'm curious on
(27:16):
quick closing thoughts from both of you before we get
into this finale.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
It's last a little bit.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Like like I said before, I really think that Opie's
significant other is entitled to know if that's their kid
or not. Indeed, and uh and the fact that their
their couple friend is is trying to obfuscate that feels
whack and suspicion.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
What's the use?
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Sophia, I agree. I think there's a lot of on
Ope's part, just a lot of you know, not really
considering his partner's feelings. And then on the front of
the Gale and June's part, they're being sneaky and weird
about it.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Sneaky.
Speaker 4 (28:02):
I want the DNA test.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
I want a DNA test too.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Where's the DNA test? Where As the paternity I think
we're about to get it. So things are extremely awkward,
and honestly, I don't think they'll get any better for
a while. My husband is still very uncomfortable around June
and Gale, no matter how many times we all try
to reassure him that no one's upset with him for
ending the hookups and that no one's upset about his reaction.
He's just distanced himself for now. I don't know what
(28:27):
else to do with the situation, but I think we
just need to spend time away from them and maybe
even a little more space from me as well, just
to build himself up a bit more beyond a relationship.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
I also know that Gail, June, and I feel bad.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
We never noticed how uncomfortable my husband was, but he
always said that he was fine, and being that shyness
to spicy related situations matches his personality.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
It made sense, but we should have just stopped. I
just wish he had told us, but I can see
why he didn't lie. It was just a crappy situation.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
I don't wish we didn't all sleep together, because it's
entirely possible that's what led to June finally getting pregnant,
but I wish things didn't end like this, but everyone
just feeling sad and guilty. I know there's no quick
fix here. I want to go back to normal. I
have to ask for more advice. But if there are more,
any more ideas you all might have on how to
make this less awkward.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
I mean, I'm not going to be that awkward, or
it's not going to be It's not going to be
easy for it to be not awkward. This is a
weird situation. I think you just got to wade into
the awkwardness absolutely and hope for the best.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Yeah, hope for the best. I think again, I feel
like you can get a donor type relationship legally, get
locked in. Uh you kind of get what you want.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Op.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
The family is out of everyone's hair. It's as uncomplicated
as possible, and that's it. I think that's all you
can do.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
It's all you can do. But I'm curious what y'all think,
uh oh, he should do.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
But I'm also curious to hear this next story.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
John here Og host, We're gonna get back to these stories,
but a quick three minute break from Hoss from our sponsors.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
I refuse to recover at home after surgery because my
husband prioritizes mother.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
No, don't do that.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
I twenty nine female, am really disappointed with my husband
thirty male and furious at his mother. Hag aged female.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
That's rough, that's original, though I've never seen that before.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Sorry, this is so long and throwaway for privacy. So
for context. My husband is from the West Coast. Let's
go where his mother still lived. He moved to the
East Coast for college and that's where we met after graduation,
and in the start of our relationship, she would visit
three to four times a year and make him take
pdo so he could entertain her throughout her visit. By
(30:59):
the way, this from puzzleheaded Tooth twenty five five and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay storytime separated it. So after two
years of this, while we were still dating, I asked
him how we are ever meant to go on vacation
together if his PTO is spent at home with his
visiting mother. We agreed to save PTO for a trip
(31:20):
to Europe we took in twenty twenty three, and he
agreed to tell his mother couldn't take off from work
every time she visited it, and my last job was
able to work from home four days a week. Every
time she visited, she's sulked all day like a puppy
who's had their toys taken away. But once my husband
(31:43):
came home, a switch flicked and she was happy and
clinging again. So here's the issue.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Now, are your eyes open? You're reading it like this.
Here's the issue.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
Now, Sophia coming in hot with the notes today.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
Your eyes are full closed.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
My eyes are open. They're not they are husband. I
just have eyes like that, don't I? Do you have
to open your eyes? I am husband and I move
states about six months ago, close to my family. I
have a new doctor who recommended me for a surgery
(32:23):
that my old doc kept putting off. It's not a
complicated procedure and it will greatly increase my quality of
life for decades. My mother in law decided my mother
in law decided she's due for a visit.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
Your eyes are fine. Stop.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
My mother in law decided she's due for My mother
in law decided she's due for a visit and wants
to explore our town and she'd come to help around
the house while OPI recovers I'm going to be out
of surgery and in pain, and I really don't want
to put up with her energy. However, we agreed, with
my husband saying, this isn't a sight seeing visit.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
She's here to see sights with her eyes. No, not
uh uh.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
She's here to help out, cook, clean laundry so I
can rest and recover. She can come for a proper
visit later in the year. My husband dropped me off
at the hospital on Wednesday, it was meant to be surgery,
and then one night overnight at the hospital for observations.
On Thursday, the doctor told me my labs were not
where he'd like them to be and I should stay
(33:36):
another night for observation and new lab work. In the morning,
I called my husband and told him that i'd hopefully
be home the next day over the phone early afternoon.
He did not visit on Thursday at all.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
We are not going to make it through this story.
We have to lock in as a team, lock in
as a family.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
As a family. We're locking My eyes are open.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Yeah, I know, look at those beepers, all right.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
So on Friday, I was discharged and called my husband
to tell him i'd be ready in about an hour,
it went straight to voicemail, and I figured he's probably
in a meeting, and I'll try again in a little bit.
After calling a few times over the course of the hour,
I called my sister, who was lucky enough to be
excused from work for the afternoon many thanks to her
understanding boss. She drove ninety minutes to get me and
(34:28):
took me home, and the house was in shambles, laundry
baskets on the dining room table, the litter box not
cleaned since Wednesday morning, days of dirty plates in the sink, et, cetera.
And I just broke down crying. She packed me a
bag and took me to her apartment to recover for
(34:50):
two weeks. On Friday night, my husband called me, asking
me where I am and that the hospital said I
was already discharged. Been on a hike with his mother,
and there was no cell service, so he missed my calls,
which also meant he took PTO first mom visit again. Mmm,
(35:12):
obviously I can't ban him from taking PTO, But wouldn't
you rather spend that freedom time with your wife at
the hospital instead of on a date with your mom?
Speaker 2 (35:24):
And what kind of date with my mom.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
I mean it was aphoon date.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Nature. I like nature and my mom.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Yeah. So I mean also, you're you're asking him to
choose between the nature and the hospital's. Dude's like, why
would I Why would I go spend time with you
in a hospital.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
That's boring when I can go out there breathe in
fresh clean air, see some trees. Yeah, there's no trees
in a hospital.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
There's no no trees. I'm trying to live life and
breathe there and know somehow I'm going to get there, Yeah,
and have life be so wonderful. I'm gonna go on
that hike. I told him that I no longer feel
comfortable recovering in our house, and I won't be returning
(36:12):
until it's thoroughly clean and his mother is gone, the
dirtiest wench of them all. He's calling me the a
hole because his mother just wanted to get to know
our new area and I was able to leave the
hospital anyway, and that I was making a big deal
out of this. I gelt that he essentially abandoned me
(36:33):
at the hospital and entertained someone who's being here was
to help make recovery easier, not more stressful, true, and
that she was here for support, not on a vacation,
not to make things.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
So much harder. I mean, she leaves them with this
like pigsty and then now is like getting Op's husband
on her side so that opis no one supporting her after.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
She just had surgery.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Yeah, and the whole point was like, oh, I'll cook
or clean, I'll like do everything that you doing nothing.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
You make it worse.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
She don't cook, she don't clean. Maybe it's just the
pain and pain meds. But am I wrong? Here's a
stupid hill to pass away on. There's part of me
telling me just to visit a divorce lawyer to see
what my options are because I'm not sure this will
ever change. I know this is going to sound incredibly selfish,
but I want kids, but I now don't see myself
(37:26):
having any with my husband in the foreseeable future. And
if this isn't going to work out, I don't want
to spend the next five years of wasting time and
money on therapy and missing a chance to find someone
I actually can start a family with someone who can
be a committed father and husband before he's a son.
Many thanks to anyone who's read all of this, and
we do have comments, we do have an update. We
(37:49):
are less than halfway through. Wow, John, I want to
know what you think. But I'm also going to take
out my contacts and put on glasses so I'm not
squinty McGee.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
I Sam.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
Yes, So, I think that it's very clear that the
husband is not at all siding with his partner in life,
his wife that he showsen to be with, and it's
it's insane to me that he he basically abandoned her.
Was it while she was in the hospital that they
were doing the hike. It's kind of sounded like.
Speaker 4 (38:23):
It, Yeah, I think, so I'll double check that.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Yeah, so we'll double check on that.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
But like at any point, you know, before, during after,
it's like, Okay, why are you going on the hike
with the mom. It's clearly not communicating or getting the
check in or o K from her. She needs you
right now, and Mom's the whole spiel to let mom
stay was like, oh, she'll actually like help and cook
and clean and stuff, which is doing the opposite.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
It seems like from what I'm reading, it seems like, uh,
what seems like the husband like calls her and it's like, hey,
where are you because they said that you were discharged
on Friday, and it's like, I'm going on a hike
with his mom, so I didn't know where you were.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
So okay.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
So it's like, yeah, so's she's been with her sister.
She's been recovering with her sister. But like she was
discharged from the hospital and had her sister pick her
up because he was on a hike with his mom.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Yeah, with no service. Crazy. He's like, there's no babe,
how am I supposed to see the trees?
Speaker 4 (39:25):
When yeah, yeah, sorry, so she was discharged, he didn't
pick up. She gets her sister and then.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
He's like, where were you? Yeap? What are you doing? Brother? Uh?
Speaker 3 (39:35):
So yeah, I think he needs to drop his mom
and maybe start uh maybe go to ask op and
be like, hey, I'm so sorry, Like how can I
be more supportive now?
Speaker 1 (39:44):
If he didn't drop his mom and his girlfriend's gonna
drop him?
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Uh oh sounds true.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
So comments you know you're crazy, says he left you
alone in the hospital. He went somewhere without self service
when he knew you were being discharged. He didn't call
you back until that night, hours after you were meant
to be discharged. This man is ridiculous and that is unforgivable.
(40:09):
Let his mom have him. You are not overreacting thinking
about divorce and you were definitely not the a hole.
And mm leven Cake says, this being unreachable while your
wife is in the hospital is despicable. But he must
have had miss calls and messages from her because she
called him when they wanted to just charge her. Did
(40:29):
he not have effing voicemails from her that said, hey, babe,
where are you They want to discharge me? I needed
to come pick me up? And he never called her back.
And the alienated Penguin said, it is despicable and unforgivable.
Then the house on top of it. I don't think
I could come back from that. Beth twenty one, two
eighty six says he's her next of kin who was
going to make medical decisions if there had been an
(40:51):
emergency or she required further surgery and couldn't consent. This
man isn't worth the carbon he's made from.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
That's I've never heard that. That's that's a wild that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
And must Ike Bedenkan says, what the flying f he
is an a hole. His mother is the a hole.
You are not an a hole. No, I didn't fall
on caps lock. I'm mad, not the a hole. Additional,
this is not a stupid hill to pass away on.
You're passing away alone on that hill because your husband
will be hiking with his mother around the hill and
(41:26):
ignore you. Go and see a lawyer. He left you
when you needed him most. And judgment is not the
a hole. And we have an update one month later, John,
Are we feeling good about this relationship?
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Not at all.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
I think we need to clearly communicate like, hey, you
you know not being there, Like here's all the thing
that's wrong again, Mom. We need we need to put
a lid on mom because she seems to like come
in and just do something like, oh, let's go on hike.
I wonder if she intentionally invited him on the hike
during the surgery.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
I think she's actively trying to avatage in the relationship,
which that wants her little boy, her little boy toy.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
I mean that commentary.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
I didn't even think about it that commentary was like
she would be uh, he would be her next of kids.
So I guess as like decision making power, like what
if something happened to her, and like if the mother
law is the one that like instigated that, and oh god, terrible.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Terrible, pretty bad, pretty bad. But luckily, John, we don't
have to just exist in suspense. Oh about this one,
we can go straight into the update. Let's dive right in.
All right, So update one month later. Hi all, I
posted a month ago about my husband basically abandoning me
at the hospital to entertain his visiting mother. I thought
(42:42):
i'd post an update. We're done. Oh, I'm still at
my sister's place and my boss is letting me work
remotely to the commute. But I have an apartment i'm
moving into in July that's a ten minute drive from
my job. Thank you. Everyone who responded was bit overwhelming.
I went into defensive mode and thought I put my
(43:03):
husband in a bad light. But you all really slapped
the rose colored glasses off me. We spoke on the
phone every day the first week I was away. He
asked his mother to leave asap so i'd feel comfortable
coming back home after a week. I told him I
still needed space and I was coming the next day
to grab more things. Once he saw that I had
an empty bag and my sister brought two empty piece
(43:25):
of luggage. He realized, I'm taking a lot because I'm
not planning to come back soon. He asked to talk,
and I figured we should get it done and over with.
I told him we needed to separate. He tried to
argue that his mother only visits a few weeks out
of the year and that things are great otherwise. I
told him that the issue is he expects me to
(43:46):
be okay during those weeks, with him ignoring my feelings
to cater to hers. I said, things don't magically go
back to normal when she leaves. There's resentment towards him
for weeks for him doing it again, and self hatred
for me allowing it to happen again. He asked to
go back to couples therapy. I told him it didn't
work last time. We had a great therapist who helped
(44:09):
him put boundaries in place and to be able to
deliver consequences when his mother overreached. But as soon as
she arrived, she'd break one boundary, he'd let it pass,
and then she had carte blanche to step on all
of them.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Oh we don't like that, Yeah, we don't like that
kind of stop.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
I Also, it's not that the mother is visiting, you know,
a few times a week and he's spending time with her.
It's that he is letting his mother stomp all over
the boundaries, Like it's fine to have your mom visit
and spend time with her, but it's not fine to
leave the house an absolute pig style. It's not fine
to abandon your wife while she's in the hospital. It's
(44:47):
not fine to just let your mom walk over your
entire relationship. And I think that's exactly what he's done.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
Well said I mean, and again, if she was actually
like cooking, cleaning, like doing what she said in the
beginning of a story of helping out O, people probably like, hey,
bring her over more, like, let's have her as much
as we can.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
So, yeah, bro, you are not getting bit she's a
terrible house guest. And when I tried to reinforce them,
I get no support and I'd be the bad guy.
Here's where I may have been a bit mean though.
I told him I'm turning thirty this year and I
want to start a family, but I can't see starting
one with him if he can't put me first. When
I'm just out of surgery. Why would I think he'd
(45:26):
put our children first. I reminded him that his mother
is retiring in less than ten years. What happens when
she decides she's frail and lonely? I asked him if
he'd move her in, whether I was okay with it
or not. He replied, I'm all she has. It really
hit me then. This was not the life I thought
we were building together. It was not the life I
(45:48):
wanted or could settle for. He asked if he was
really that bad of a husband. I sort of lied
and said, no, but you're just not the husband I need. Hey,
it's Sam, We're going to get back to these stories.
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
I mean, because basically it's like, uh, this is referring
to like him, like not showing up the hospital totally annoying.
I mean, I I think it is a lot fair
in this specific context to tell him like, hey, you know,
you messed up. You weren't by my side, you didn't
you didn't call me, and I'm you know, I think
(46:25):
that's good and fair feedback to give him as well.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
So I also like with the idea of the mother
moving in, you know that is a common thing for
people to do to have their moms. Yep, move in.
I mean, especially like in other cultures and such. But
you guys both have to be on board. You can't
gotta both be can't. You can't just be moving someone
(46:49):
in with or without their permission.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
Can't shove your mom down someone else's throat.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
No, you can't do it. And so this is not
the life you want. Don't don't don't stop living it,
stop living it, throw it out. Not forgetting out of here.
I told him he either needs a wife who's okay
with being the side piece in his relationship with his mother,
or no wife at all, who dang. I left with
my sister, and ten minutes into the ride back to
(47:17):
her place, his mother called me. I sent it the voicemail.
Ab I started laughing, and my sister asked, what was
so funny. I said, the first thing he did was
call his mommy and taddle on me for leaving. Yep.
Papers have been served and it's pretty amicable so far.
Fingers crossed, and there are some comments. Ooh, anonymous head
(47:41):
one two three says good for you for sending up
for yourself. A little throwaway said he called his mom immediately.
Congratulations on ditching that loser baby man boy. Cicata Nois says,
if Op needs any other indicators that she did the
best thing for herself, this detail right here. Nosey Bystanders says,
he already has a wife. Her name is Mommy. Playing
ten seven, seven and five says, yep, he's a great
(48:02):
husband to Mommy and a crap one to Ope. I
mean that's where that story ends, John, But like, do
you think Op put down the right boundaries? Do you
think it was too harsh? Do you think it was
not harsh enough? What are your thoughts?
Speaker 3 (48:17):
I mean she basically said like, hey, I don't want
your mom around, right, And it was it was only
with the mom being like, oh I'll cook, clean and
like being a help that she like acquiesced to it, right.
So I think that was a good boundary initially that
they just blew past. Alicia says, I'm leaving you because
(48:37):
you can never put me first. Then immediately he calls
his mom.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
Alex Thompson says, your mother can still be important to you,
but the second you throw your wife under the bus,
you no longer deserve her. I think that was another
huge issue that we had is Ope and her partner
agreed on boundaries, yes that they would and forced together
and as soon as the mother transgressed one of those boundaries, oh,
(49:05):
Pie's husband did not support op and like like reaffirming
those I think you know that. That shows what side
of the team Opie's husband is on.
Speaker 2 (49:16):
Yeah, he he will.
Speaker 3 (49:17):
He'll give you lip service and not respect what you
guys decide as a team together and not and not
like specifically uphold for like your well being.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
Right.
Speaker 3 (49:29):
So yeah, pretty pretty pretty cutting, cutting, clear case of
a MoMA's.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
Boy and dry. I think it was important to set
him free, kind them loose.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
Yeah, OPI Opie did the right thing.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
Yeah, but that is where that story and those episode ends. No,
don't don't do it. I'm gonna do it. No, I'm
doing it. I'm doing it. So if you love us,
make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
We love you. And seeing them a
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Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.