My friend took advantage of my kindness… so I handled her stuff while she was away! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Cowboy Sam, and this is ye how John,
and we've last owed.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
In some amazing stories for y' all the Okay Storytime podcasts.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
But before that, we got to wrangle a quick little
two minute out break from those bucking sponsors.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
We bucking love so much they paid us the bucks
to help this show stay alive.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
My friends took advantage of my kindness, so I sold
her things while she's in.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
Jailah in jail for how low those prices are.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
The title might make me sound bad, but there are
a lot of factors that play here. Let me explain.
I am a twenty five female dog trainer with underlying
mental health issues, including being on the autistic spectrum. I
mentioned this because I think it's important info that I
am easily overstimulated, anxious, and mostly importantly at the history
of being taken advantage of it because I don't understand

(00:46):
social cues all the time. By the way, this comes
from Vegetable Feeling eighty five. And if you want to
spit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story.
I'm subredded. So about a year ago, I'm at Lisa
fifty six female. I was in a sticky situation trying
to help someone with her dog and had very little support.
I had been meeting with Lisa to help her dogs,
and she said she was able to help me with

(01:07):
the situation I was dealing with. This was fantastic and
much needed relief for me, and I appreciated it so much.
I saw Lisa several times a week and we got
pretty close. I was dealing with some heavy relationships stuff
at the time, and seeing as Lisa was currently unemployed
ex therapist, she actually helped me work through some issues

(01:27):
amazing right while, over time I started to notice some
things were off about Lisa. She's always been a little
hard for me to read, a little demanding, entitled, but
it seemed to sprinkled into charming, funny jokes, so it
seemed almost like she was just putting on this big,
funny character. One of the first red flags was when
she called me from the er. At this point, we

(01:50):
weren't that close, and when she called me, she had
already been discharged and just needed to ride back home.
She sounded weak, distressed, and oriented, and she requested I
bring her some food when I come to get her.
I was in the middle of a work day, but
I dropped appointments to go get her because I assumed
she must have already called everyone else and got no help.

(02:12):
By the time she got to meet. We weren't that
close yet. It wasn't a big deal until it happened
several more times. It also seemed like the more I
gave her, the more she expected, and therefore the less
grateful she was or what I could do. I'm all
for helping people when they need it, but for example,
after one of her discharges, the medical team told her

(02:33):
she should be okay, but she should probably not be
completely an alone overnight, just in case of an emergency.
She didn't actually even ask me if I could help
with this, just kind of expected it from me. I
told her I wasn't prepared to do that after working
all day and needed to go to work the next day. Pus,
my long term partner was sleeping at home, and we
don't do stuff like this without talking to each other.

(02:54):
She tried to guilt trip me a little bit, but
eventually conceded. She said that she has a new friend
who would call her throughout the night to make sure
she's at least responding. Again, I'm all for helping people
but you can't expect someone to drop their entire world
to do it for you. I also want to mention
that throughout all this I was always around, always listening

(03:16):
to her complain about things and supporting her the best
I could. I got her food, picked up groceries for her,
helped her a simple furniture. I brought her treats, I
gave her rise, and I was continually helping train her dogs.
It's not like I was totally icing her out. I
started out so grateful to help her, and I just
started to feel like I was being used over time.

(03:37):
She would text or call with emergencies or big feelings
a lot, even when I was at work, and would
leave voice smails, always telling me to call her back asap,
and I would always try to do my best to
respond as quickly as possible with kindness and, like I said,
bring her treats and things to make it better. Sometimes

(03:57):
she would text and call and even show up in
my work hoping to talk to me. To be fair,
she never demanded I stopped a training session or anything,
but sometimes she would gesture while I was with the
customer to her phone, trying to get me to look
at her to talk to her. So as the months progressed,
I noticed her attitude more and more. Not only is
she being pretty demanding with my time, but the way

(04:19):
she talks about her friends and family is a little slimy.
For some context, Lisa lost her job in another state,
I later learned because there's a malpractice suit against her.
She came to my state because her sister Karen, who's
twenty years older than her, lives here and that was
her only option. Karen let Lisa in her house rent

(04:42):
free with her two docs, one is not party trained.
Karen paid all the utilities, all the internet bills, and
got a surplus of groceries on a regular basis. Karen
wanted to support Lisa so that she could find a
good job and go back on out on her own
and be successful again. Lisa would come plain to me
that Karen was being stingy and she wouldn't help her

(05:04):
buy really expensive and fancy things like Lisa decided she
needed to remote control mindible bedframe and a mattress, even
though the room Karen had for her staying in already
had a bed. All the while, Lisa would periodically say
she was broke until my sister gives me my allowance,
which I later learned was six hundred dollars a week. Yes,

(05:27):
you read that correctly.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
That's that's like a full job.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
That's a minimum wage full job, depending on what state
you're living in. Yes, twenty four hundred dollars a month.

Speaker 5 (05:38):
Oh my god, and she's still paying for your groceries
other things that you complain.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
About, to pay rent. Yeah, you probably don't have to
pay taxes on that either.

Speaker 5 (05:48):
No, because that's not a formal income, she probably doesn't
have to.

Speaker 4 (05:52):
She should claiming, but she's not.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
This is wild. Lisa was getting six hundred dollars a
week to live rent free at her sister's house with
her dogs, and still demanded help with larger purchases and
extra money for projects. Oh, while telling me Karen has
the money and just my hout to be fair, Lisa
pays her phone bill and she has some storage units

(06:16):
that she pays with as well. However, six hundred dollars
a week is sometimes more than I make, and I've
got a lot more bills in that. Lisa's dogs are
also on the most expensive dog food ever. And not
only does she have expensive taste and wardrobe but despite
having too many clothes to fit in a clause that
at her sister's house, she would continually buy more things,

(06:37):
more expensive things. After probably ten months with her sister,
she finally got a job. She was decided about it,
and I was so proud of her. However, pretty soon
she just stopped talking about it. When I asked, she said, oh,
I didn't work there. I just clashed with the dumb
lady who runs it, and that was all that was said.
She had a job for maybe two weeks. Get much worse.

(07:01):
Karen and Lisa both got sick trrying the cold and
flu season. They really don't have the best relationship, and
besides financial support Karen gives, there's not much emotional support.
They have a long history that I don't know that
much about. Well, with the illness in the house, Lisa
didn't pay much attention to Karen. She's probably turned out
to be a major problem because since Karen is in
her eighties, her getting sick turned out to be very,

(07:25):
very bad. Karen ended up being hospitalized for two to
three times over the next month. The first time was
after Lisa found her and realized she'd been stuck in
bed for like forty eight hours. She was so weak
she couldn't even get her seapap machine off her face.
She was severely dehydrated, and the pooped it all over
the bed. I know all this because I was the

(07:46):
one who came over late at night after a long
day of work to help out with stains and sanitize
the bed, since Lisa said she just coulda handle it.
And honestly, I didn't even really mind. I just felt
bad for Karen and had severe uti and I was
showing and was showing signs of dementia overnight. When Karen's

(08:07):
family's friends got involved, they blamed Lisa for this ended
up finding a complaint with an Adult Protective Services and
the nurses at the hospital did the same. Lisa was
insanely angry at Karen and Karen's friends, and she was
also angry that while Karen was in the hospital she
couldn't fork over any money again. The attitude was getting crazy.
You gotta cut it out to the streets, Lisa, to

(08:29):
the streets, Lisa, to.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
Your jail cell though we know you're going to.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
Oh my gosh, I forgot about that.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Noticing these behaviors and growing increasingly wearying, of her draining
and my emotional energy. I tried to do a sort
of intervention with her. I told her I was really
bad at managing my own finances and I had seen
some of my bad habits reflected in her, and said
we could both use some accountability and practice managing our money.

(08:58):
So I suggest did we keep law of her spending.
We set limits for ourselves, and we report back to
each other each week so we can motivate each other
and hold each other accountable. I was hoping if I
could help her become more financially independent, then she would
be able to get some distance from her sister, and
then maybe her relationship would improve. I told her that

(09:18):
we could start this practice in just a couple of weeks,
as I was really busy with some personal things coming up. Well,
I never got that far. Karen's friends helped her draft
an emergency protective order against Lisa and had her punted out.
The next few weeks were totally insanity. Since Lisa didn't
have a job, she was pulling and borrowing money from
anywhere she could possibly get it. She managed pretty well

(09:39):
to get some of her dogs fed and kept herself
in a hotel room. The entire time she was out
of her sister's house. She was so overwhelmed with everything
as she couldn't make herself get a job, but could
ask friends and family from all across the country to
send her money, and for the most part, they did.
When this happened, I was in the middle of moving
to a much more expensive apartment closer to my job,

(10:00):
so I decided to set a cap on the amount
of money I would give her. That cap was fifty dollars.
Anytime she asked me to cover a couple extra dollars
I'm purchasing or bring her food, I would add it
up in my head keep track of it. Again. I
felt so awful for her, but I can't be supporting
of another person when I'm barely capable of supporting myself

(10:20):
and my family. Since most of Lisa's belongings were with
her sister, she was determined to get an outfit to
make herself look presentable in the courtroom when she goes
to do with this, so she asked me to drive
her to Target. She had about one hundred bucks on
a gift card, and I was more than happy to
take her there and shop with her. After the clothes
shoes and a couple of very small basics. Her total

(10:40):
was so much that I had to pay about twenty
five dollars out of my pocket, and she had gone
over the gift card limit. I am only including this
detail to express I didn't. I'm only including this detail
to express it didn't seem like to her behaviors were changing,
even when she didn't have a place to live or
a job, because there were so many ways to get

(11:01):
what she needed for much less. Even at Target, she
was intentionally choosing more expensive brands. Anyways, within a couple
of weeks she gets arrested. And this was a crazy twist. Apparently,
even though Karen wasn't trying to press charges, when the
police looked into what was happening between the two sisters,
they decided it was enough to take it upon themselves.

(11:22):
I'm not really sure how all of this works out,
to be honest, all I know is I'm starting to
get calls from the jail because I had the only
phone number she memorized.

Speaker 5 (11:31):
Oh okay, yeah, yeah. Honestly, it's probably because Karen has
signs of dimension now that I'm sure, like the hospital
of the state can deem her unable to make her
own medical decisions, so they.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
Get to take care of it.

Speaker 4 (11:50):
And yeah, she neglected her.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
This is wild. Here's where we get close to my
current problem. My partner and I get my stepdaughter over
the summers. I absolutely adore her, even though we don't
get to see her as much during the year Bio
Mom took her to the old to the other side
of the country. We remained a great relationship and our
summers are hectic but full of so much love and life.

(12:13):
We are really excited because this new expensive apartment has
a very nice pool and my baby loves a swim.
That being said, the expenses of this place, plus having
another mouth to feed and a little body to clothe,
is a huge financial adjustment. Overall money's side, things are crazy.
Of course, I wouldn't change it for the world, but

(12:33):
that's the situation. Bear in mind. So after the arrest,
I ended up being the one who goes to the
hotel that she was at to get her things and
pick up her dogs. I was the only one she
can get hold of and the only one who was willing.
This process alone was so stressful, and between shifts at work,
I had to go over there and pack up things.
She had gotten more belongings from her sister's house to

(12:56):
the hotel, and her room was crazy packed with items.
Some of the and those were really fancy appliances steal
in the box, like a stainless steel air fire and
a two hundred dollars Hepa air peer fire. There was
so much stuff that I couldn't fit it all in
my van, and luckily the hotel staff helped put smilar
things in an empty room they used for storage. Since
I was coming and going for a little bit of time,

(13:18):
the room cleaners packed up most of her stuff for me.
I didn't even look through it. I just had to
pack it up and go. I even had to bring
my kiddo up to the hotel while I did some
of this, because I couldn't just materialize childcare all the while.
All the while, she calling me every few hours from
the jail, frantically asked me to reach out to people
on her behalf and asked for money so she could

(13:38):
post belt. Every person I reached out to said no
or didn't respond at all. Three days after the rest,
I stopped hearing from her. The next week, I get
a call from a representative that works in the jail's
mental health unit, and it's basically a caseworker for Lisa.
Her original message says something like this. Lisa says that
you have access to her tablet. She wants me to
give you a pass code so you can reach out

(14:00):
to X y Z again asking for more money. She
says she wasn't able to use the phones because she
got moved to the mental health unit unless someone puts
money on her books. I do everything I can. I'm
growing increasingly stressed. Her dogs are on expensive food, and
when I tried to give them my dog's food for
the first night, they were with me and with me

(14:20):
because I didn't have because I didn't have theirs yet,
they pooped all over my house with liquid diarrhea. And
this was awful. I had to spend hundreds of dollars
on their very expensive food to wean them on to
my dog's cheaper food. One of their dogs is it
potty trained, as I mentioned, and the other one has
bad anxiety with storms and loud noises and almost anything.

Speaker 4 (14:43):
Oh, I don't even know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
How did you get yourself into this?

Speaker 5 (14:47):
Because she kept giving her everything that she asked for. True,
would you fund her jail fund one more time.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
Nah.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
Heck, no, man, Nah, you can't do that.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
I'm selling everything she got in the to pay for
the dog food and pay for my dog taking care
of the dogs. That's my money.

Speaker 4 (15:04):
Those are your dogs now too.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
For the most part, most importantly the stress, the financial stress,
the stress of having extra dogs to walk and feed
a monitor, plus live in an apartment complex with strict
regulations by the pets you can have. My dog, who
is registered with the complex, has been having major behavioral
issues because of the other dogs ruining our routine and
me not having nearly as much time to dedicate to him.

(15:27):
I know it's not his phone at all, but I
feel awful and I don't know how to change it
right now. While we wait, I spend so much money
on them that it was that I was late on
my rent and electrical bills less than two months after
moving in. I feel crazy, stupid for taking this on
at all when I clearly need to focus on my family.
But here I am. I made it. Rent is taken

(15:49):
care of, electrical is being paid off, and I got
some extra dogs sitting jobs the next couple of months
lined up to help me stay afloat. Oh my gosh, Oh, pe,
this is wild. Oh do you like how the story is?

Speaker 4 (16:04):
Yeah, this is crazy.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
Where's your line in the sand here? Where were you been? Like,
I'm done taking the dogs to the pound, selling all
her stuff.

Speaker 5 (16:12):
So my my biggest issue would also be giving up
the dogs to someone, because I would feel so bad
doing that. These aren't your dogs though I know, but
they're dogs that are innocent and like, that would be
my line, but I think personally i'd be like, hey,
not the pound, but let's find a foster home. Let's

(16:32):
find someone that can watch them until we know how
long you're in jail for. But she probably shouldn't even
have guts to do these.

Speaker 4 (16:38):
Dogs when she gets back out.

Speaker 5 (16:40):
Oh, we're not giving her any more money. We're selling
her things. We are making back what she owes us.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
We go, there, we go.

Speaker 4 (16:48):
The dogs would be my issue.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
For sure, plus like is this really your friend?

Speaker 4 (16:54):
No, this isn't This is not your friend.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
She has been using you, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
She really has been. Oh gosh. When I was really struggling,
I posted that extremely expensive air purifire on Marketplace because
I felt like I didn't know what else to do,
even though I really wasn't even though it really wasn't
mine to sell. I feel really guilty about this, But
on the other hand, I felt like I have struggled
so hard with the problem that really isn't mine. It
is justified. I said that I got Rent taken care of,

(17:21):
and I want to clarify it set us back far
back that we're gonna be in a similar boat next month.
And the electrical bill is being paid off in installments,
but it's going to continue to rack up. I'm out
of immediate danger, but I'm also behind on my own
storage unit bills and other things too. Anyways, there's a
lot more drama in the story, but the real details

(17:42):
about our history are what's important making these decisions about
me selling a couple of her items to making meat
while she's incarcerated and I'm taking care of her dogs. Anyway,
any helpful thoughts would be welcome. Did I make a mistake,
Should I reimburse her for the air perier fire? Or
should I even sell more of her things? Thank you
in advance. I don't know, man. I think selling her

(18:04):
stuff is the best route to take.

Speaker 5 (18:06):
I think I think you can sell the obvious stuff
that's back in boxes that she bought recently. Yeah, yeah,
I think you can do that.

Speaker 4 (18:16):
At the most. It's not morally right, but you can say, oh,
I just I.

Speaker 5 (18:21):
Never even got those from the hotel, like maybe I
don't know, like.

Speaker 3 (18:25):
That where.

Speaker 4 (18:27):
So it's not the most moral thing to do.

Speaker 5 (18:31):
But she took so much money from you that I
think you can do that to get back to that the.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Most moral thing to do. But what Lisa did, opie,
was that moral.

Speaker 4 (18:39):
No, So it's just moral non moral against non moral.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
Yeah, And it's like an eye for an eye makes
a whole world blinde.

Speaker 4 (18:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
If you got to get little frugal with money and
like savvy with it, you gotta do what you gotta do.
You gotta you gotta fee, you gotta look out for one.

Speaker 5 (18:54):
First, I want to ban my bridesmaid because of her
jealousy made zilla. I twenty seven female, am getting married
this summer to the love of my life, twenty eight
Mal Andrew. Andrew and I met two years ago online.
I had only been on my dating app for one
to two months. We had gone on a few dates

(19:15):
and instantly clicked. We have been together ever since. By
the way, this comes from honey g nineteen the r
slash too Hot Take subreddit, and if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay
storytime subreddit. So Andrew and I have been through a
lot over the last year. In April of twenty twenty four,
my mother got diagnosed with progressive stage with a progressive

(19:37):
stage of ovarian cancer, where she needed to get a
huge surgery removing two pounds of tumor that spread, then
had to quickly decide on what treatment plan after she
was somewhat recovered. Shortly after her diagnosis, Andrew's grandparents were
placed into hospice, needing extra daily home care. Sadly, his

(19:58):
grandfather had just recent we passed away from organ failure,
and it has been extremely hard on us, including his
entire family, through the mix of all of my mother's
health issues and his grandparents. In September twenty twenty four,
Andrew had booked us a four day trip and proposed which.

Speaker 4 (20:15):
I happily said yes too.

Speaker 5 (20:18):
We both knew that if we were able to get
through all of the challenges we were facing, we could
get through anything together, and there were no doubts we
had about wanting to spend our lives with one another.
Fast forward to the start of my wedding planning. Personally,
I did not want to wait a long time to
get married. In the back of my mind, I had
this huge fear of losing her before we got married.

(20:38):
Most days she couldn't get out of bed, and I
didn't know where we would be years ahead. So Andrew
and I chose a venue and a date very quickly.
By the time we would get married, we would have
been engaged for eleven months. I quickly started to plan fast,
and by the time we were reserved everything, Andrew and I
had booked the important things within three months of our engagement.
Soon after that, I started picking out my bridal party

(21:00):
and even spent the time to make cute bridesmaid proposal boxes.
I had chosen my sister as my matron of honor
and my bridesmaids, my future sister in law, and my
three best friends, Cecilia, Felicity, and Rachel. Whenever Andrew and
I got engaged, our family and friends were over the moon,
and you could tell how excited and supportive everyone was

(21:21):
for us, except for Felicity. Backstory on Felicity twenty nine
Female Felicity and I have been friends for about three years.
We both have a love for the city and adventure,
so there were plenty of times that we would plan
things out spontaneously. Throughout the years I've known her, she
has always been a bright and free spirited kind of person.
We grew close pretty quickly, even treated each other as sisters.

(21:44):
The more I got to know her, I started to
see that she had been somewhat involved with a man
back and forth. He worked in his family business and
came from family money. Felicity actually spent a lot of
her time with him going to expensive restaurants. Felicity is
known to have an extensive taste. Going out with her
can be a little difficult, as she would always want

(22:06):
to go to expensive bars. Money for me has always
been somewhat tight. I had about two other jobs on
top of my main full time job babysitting and dog sitting.

Speaker 4 (22:17):
Around this time, I was a single pringle.

Speaker 5 (22:19):
But over time I would find Felicity changing plans on
me if something better came along.

Speaker 2 (22:23):
Opportunist, opportunist, and keep an eye on that.

Speaker 4 (22:28):
You're gonna follow a Oh, she's a.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
Very opportunist mindset when it comes of guys.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
Oh, this guy makes more money than this one.

Speaker 4 (22:33):
I'm just gonna go over here now.

Speaker 5 (22:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:35):
So that even with plants like.

Speaker 5 (22:37):
The guy she was involved with whenever he was in
our city, or her inviting herself to his house for
the weekend, eventually I started noticing that she was low
key stalking him, as he never seemed to put her first.

Speaker 4 (22:49):
I know the result of his behavior does.

Speaker 5 (22:51):
Not excuse stalking, but it was getting frustrating seeing my
friend not being treated first by someone who couldn't commit.
This would start a lot of conversations with her about
how important self worth is and how she deserved better.
These conversations eventually ended as it was getting extremely redundant,
and I found people change if they truly want to,

(23:12):
so I would let it go. Around the time I
met Andrew, I was personally longing to get back into
my faith and started going back to church regularly. I
used to be very devout in my Catholic upbringing and
personally felt like I needed a positive outlook in life again.
So whenever I met Andrew, we started going to church
together more and spending more time with each other. I
know it is not common in today's society, but Andrew

(23:35):
and I are waiting to have spicy sleep until we
aren't married.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
Let's go. I'm a huge supporter of that.

Speaker 5 (23:40):
This is something that Andrew and I chose to do
together as we were only looking for a seriously committed
relationship and our life partner, Felicity, always seemed to judge
this feature in our relationship. We were really close, but
when it came to my personal relationship, she always wanted
to know his size.

Speaker 4 (23:57):
If he was a good kisser, and if we had
gone first.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
Also, who you surround yourself with is like a reflection
of yourself. Yeah, and then this person doesn't seem like
your brand.

Speaker 1 (24:11):
No, not at all.

Speaker 4 (24:13):
I want to know the backstory where you found Felicity,
not Andrew.

Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah, yeah, I know right liked that work out.

Speaker 5 (24:21):
I was normally not the kind of person to share
those personal details of any partner I had, so I
found it weird that she kept asking and laughing about
it when she would ask. Also, whenever all of us
would hang out, she would talk more to Andrew rather
than me, and always seem to just want to hang
out with the two of us, not just me or her.
Fast forward to when I asked her to be a bridesmaid.

(24:43):
Whenever Andrew and I got back from our trip, I
noticed she did not seem excited for me at all.

Speaker 4 (24:49):
She would keep saying, I'm really excited for.

Speaker 5 (24:51):
You, I'm just really busy. I sort of overlooked this
because I thought she may have been going through something
at the time. Whenever I asked her to be my bridesmaid,
they'll look on her face was not pleased. She had
mentioned that her sister, who just got married, really put
her through the ringer with her in her finances. Whenever
Felicity was the maid of honor for her sister's wedding,
her sister made her by all of the bridesmaid of presents,

(25:13):
a yacht to rent for the bachelorette trip, and a
lot more. Her and her sister didn't fall too far
from the tree, though they both have expensive tastes and
are very particular. I am not like the typical bride
who expects everyone to spend more than five hundred plus
dollars for a wedding day. I was already planning to
make it really easy for my bridal party, like making

(25:34):
it optional for getting the hair and makeup done, finding
inexpensive dresses, and even not really caring if I had
a bachelorette party. So whenever I shared with Felicity that
she is one of my closest friends and explained why
I wanted her to be a bridesmaid, she didn't look
a static but said she.

Speaker 4 (25:50):
Would do it. Dude, what, Yeah, I guess I'll come
to your wedding.

Speaker 2 (25:54):
Corly, you just want a million dollars, that's cool, I guess, dude,
what this is not your friend? Yeah, okay, from what
I've seen, yeah, your a backup friend. Anytimes she doesn't
have something else going on in her life, she's gonna
hit you up. Hey, let's go to the town. Hey,
let's go to the bars. Have you ever looked at
where you go and how she acts if you're going

(26:16):
to the bars, is she like trying to like talk
to guys or not really like you're just.

Speaker 4 (26:19):
There to be there.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah, she's using you. And then in this case, you're
like advancing in life and she's still in another lane.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
She's like backup friends do not get to be bridesmaids.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
Friends are get excited whenever you ask them to be bridesmaids.
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 5 (26:34):
Soon after that, I started noticing Felicity's behavior change. Whenever
we would go on our walks together, she would make
comments like it's tradition that the bride pays for the
hair and makeup, or whenever I'm a bridesmaid, I like
to know who they're marrying and be close with them
and so on. I would also reach out in a
group text to the girls and plan on when to

(26:55):
go dress shopping, bridle showers and such.

Speaker 4 (26:58):
Felicity seem to not want to be a part.

Speaker 5 (26:59):
Of any of it and only made an appearance at
our bridesmaid fitting. I noticed this behavior more and more
so whenever I asked her about her thoughts on being
a bridesmaid, she started saying how she was indifferent with
it all. She mentioned that she was still unsure only
because she couldn't support being at a bridal party if
she wasn't super close with the groom or know him enough.

(27:21):
This really took me back, because the whole point of
being a bridesmaid is to show support for the bride
and show that you as a close circle, are going
to walk the bride through this new journey in her life.

Speaker 4 (27:33):
That that's not your friend solicity.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
Felicity Delicity convictually that angel friend.

Speaker 5 (27:42):
This sparked a whole conversation with her about how our
friendship seemed different. I know she was telling me how
she missed how things were and that we needed to
hang out more, but in all honesty, our friendship definitely
took a shift due to lack of support and understanding
the person I knew would be supportive and not be
catty about it. I also felt like she didn't understand
the amount of pressure I have been under and the

(28:04):
lack of social life I have due to our family troubles.
I ended up telling her again that I will try
to make more time, but it is limited just because
I have no idea how my mom will be feeling
and so on. We ended on a good note, but
I was still getting a huge feeling that she was
not convinced. As more of the planning went on, our
family started planning for my bridal showers and close friends

(28:26):
started planning for bachelorette parties, Felicity didn't want to be
a part of any of it. Anything mentioning something that
was about me, she would rudely respond in the group
message and make everything awkward.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
She's so jealous?

Speaker 4 (28:40):
Why is she still in your bridal party? Get rid
of her, Carl.

Speaker 1 (28:45):
You been pridging this all day. Where's the line in
the sand?

Speaker 2 (28:49):
Where is it?

Speaker 1 (28:49):
Where is it?

Speaker 4 (28:50):
We need to find it.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
We need to find it. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 5 (28:53):
She even had the nerve to be extremely rude to
my sister in law when she asked for help to
set up one of my bridal showers. Fast forward to
most recent I just had my bridle shower and I
was expecting her to be there.

Speaker 4 (29:08):
Shocker, she wasn't.

Speaker 5 (29:10):
I had message to her that night asking if she was
able to get her dress yet, and quickly found out
she didn't even.

Speaker 4 (29:15):
Purchase her dress.

Speaker 5 (29:17):
When I read this over my phone, I immediately saw
red and sadness. This response just proved to me that
she never wanted to support me through any of it,
and that our friendship was completely over. Every time I
would have an opportunity to have free time, she always
responded along the lines of I don't have the time
to commit to anything scheduled right now, as it has

(29:37):
to be more in spontaneity. At this point, I was
very close to just having her not be in the
wedding at all.

Speaker 4 (29:42):
That'd be a great idea.

Speaker 5 (29:44):
I had realized in that moment that she was going
to have a huge attitude the whole day of the wedding,
even if she showed up, if she even showed up. Honestly,
after how wrong she has treated me, I don't even
have the energy anymore to make sure she's going to
be pleased. Also, it's your wedding, At.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
Your wedding, you should be the one that needs to
be pleased. Yeah, not her, Felicity. All this complicity needs
to be Oh, basically the city.

Speaker 1 (30:12):
Oh five, that was good.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
That's a basketball term thing they'll do like okay, see
KFC UFC, Legas and five.

Speaker 4 (30:21):
What's in five?

Speaker 2 (30:22):
Like they play? They played a seven okay, best four
out of seven, so it'd be like Legas and five,
so they'll win in five games. Yeah, Keon and Dakota
would understand.

Speaker 4 (30:32):
I thought you were doing a theater reference. I'm not
gonna lie than Nope.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
Sorry.

Speaker 5 (30:36):
After thinking it over, I gave her an option to
just be a wedding guest instead, as she may have
more trouble getting her dress in time and completing alterations.
I gave Felicity the option in case time and money,
we're too hard for her right now and said it's
okay if she decided to do that. She responded back
somewhat annoyed, saying that she was busy and would message

(30:57):
me the next day. She hasn't attempted to reach out,
even after I asked her before I went to bed
to call me when she gets five minutes. I am
seriously debating punting her out by the end of the
week if she doesn't respond to me, and fear that
she is going to ghost me completely. This whole situation
around my engagement has been extremely upsetting to me, and

(31:17):
I am heartbroken that she will not give me the
courtesy to be an adult and back out herself. My
bridal party is also fed up and thinks I should
rip the band aid off that she is not in
the bridal party. They also think it is ridiculous how
she has treated me from the beginning and are saying
I am better off. I could really use some advice
on this. Please help and we have an update. Girl.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
I feel like a lot of people who are confronted
with making the decision whatever the hardest thing to do,
most likely the right thing to do.

Speaker 5 (31:48):
Yeah, I mean, she's taking herself out of it already.

Speaker 4 (31:52):
We don't need her here. She's done nothing to help this.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
Yeah, yeah, you just got to some text. Hey something,
it's best for you to be in the way.

Speaker 4 (32:00):
Yep, yep, boom. She's probably not even gonna answer. Probably
won't we have an update.

Speaker 5 (32:06):
I wanted to thank everyone who all had the time
to comment on my original post. After she had ignored
me for about six days, I had officially cut her
out of the bridal Party. I had a feeling she
would not have answered my phone calls, so I only
gave her the news through text. I said something on
the lines of this, I know you've been incredibly busy
with work slash family stuff, but with this being crunch time,

(32:28):
I really need to be organized and can't have things
fall through. So I've decided to make some changes to
the bridal party. Overall, it seems like you haven't had
time to fully enjoy or participate in the bridal parties events,
so I am just going to take this off your plate.
I would still love for you to be a part
of the wedding in a way that is less demanding.
If you are unable to make it, I understand, although

(32:49):
it is a huge relief that I took the initiative
to cut her out. I'm still very sad that this
was how I ended a four year friendship. I'm somewhat
grieving still over the relationship we used to have, but
I realize now what has been gone for a while
and the damage has been done. I know now that
it will never be how it used to. Her response

(33:10):
of that works for me was closure enough to me.

Speaker 4 (33:14):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (33:15):
I still hate that it had to come to this,
but I know this will be able to help me
enjoy my day even more now that she's out. I
don't see myself continuing our friendship either, which is probably
for the better.

Speaker 4 (33:26):
We have another update. Do you have any thoughts?

Speaker 2 (33:29):
Like I said, you just got to send that text out.
I think no matter what her reaction is, well we
got the reaction. Oh well, no matter what it is,
it's not your fault. Yes, it's hers. She decided not
to show up to any of this things. She decided
not to be happy in, decided to be jealous. So
please don't put that on you. With whatever you do.
I understand you can be sad this.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
Yeah, this person not on you. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (33:52):
Her saying that works for me that's the end of it.
There we go, that's restop.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
There we go.

Speaker 5 (33:56):
I do want to end this post on a happy note.
I was able to ask my family's best man's wife, Lindsay.
Andrew's best man happens to be his cousin, and we
are all very close as we have had frequent double
dates together. Lindsay's extremely awesome and before this all went down,
she even volunteered to take charge in my planning slash
hosting my bachelorette with my close friends a bride a party.
I'm extremely happy that I decided to listen to my

(34:19):
gut and do what was best to enjoy my wedding again,
thank you all for reassuring me that I was not
crazy and right to pump Felicity out. I'm extremely excited
to have no stresses on my wedding day and can't
wait to call Andrew my husband in a few months.

Speaker 4 (34:33):
And that's the end of the story.

Speaker 3 (34:35):
Hey, John og host here, we're gonna get back to
this episode, but a quick three minute break of ads
from a sponsor's keeping the show alive. I took back
my gifts for my niece after she went through my phone.

Speaker 1 (34:47):
This is my safe Song, not your Snoop and Zone.

Speaker 3 (34:50):
Yesterday, I went over to my sister's house to help
her with some things. I was there for a couple
of hours and took a little nap for like four
hours because I was tired. After I woke up, I
I went home and my husband was being a little
off and seemed kind of upset or unhappy.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
I'm like, what's up?

Speaker 3 (35:07):
And he says, I'm being nice for someone who just
texted what I did. I sent my kids upstairs and
started asking what was going on. By the way, this
comes to me user throw away Stacks and Rice and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the ar slash Okay Storytime subpread it. He says I
sent him divorce texts. I'm shocked because I never did that,

(35:28):
which I let him know. I even showed him my phone,
which did not show any such texts. He then shows
me his messages under my name and apparently I want
a divorce. I was bamboozled because not only did I
not think it, but I definitely did not text that.
This affected him a little more because we had to
fight the previous night. But we have a tradition of

(35:51):
sorts which is reassuring each other that we still love
and care, but are just upset in the moment. I'm
only adding this because I said something along those lines
in the morning before I left, which I brought up
when I was defending myself against the text I had
supposedly sent. He then says I had done something similar previously.
This is in reference to when I was pregnant and

(36:13):
had some pseudo bipolar symptoms which have since been mostly resolved.
I've only done this once, and it wasn't even on
the same level. I just kind of used to have
terrible mood swings. Also, this was only during the pregnancy.
I have no bipolar diagnosis or anything like that. That
whole journey was kind of traumatic and is not a
pleasant memory for me, which he is aware of. Anyway,

(36:36):
after we bicker for a little bit, I decided to
call my sister and explain what was happening. And then
I'm like, hey, can you pull up your house footage
from while I was there this morning? We're on FaceTime
and we fast forward to when I went to sleep.
The outlet in the room I was in wasn't working,
so I had plugged my phone in the dining area
to charge.

Speaker 1 (36:55):
While I slept.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
We see my sixteen year old niece on my phone.
She was on it off and on for like two
and a half hours, smiling and giggling.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
I'm upset and her mom is upset.

Speaker 3 (37:08):
She calls her and asks if she touched my phone
while I was there, and she lies and says no.
She asks her again two more times if she touched
my phone, and she says she didn't. The laptop is
faced away from her, and I believe she didn't realize
I was on the phone, or that we both already
saw what she did. It was after my sister started
trying to send me the footage, which I had initially
asked for, that she saw that her mom had already

(37:30):
seen what had happened. She started apologizing and saying it
was supposed to be a prank and she didn't mean
anything by it. She called out to me too with
apologies while she was crying. My sister is one of
those silent when angry types, so she wasn't saying anything.
I did not even know what to say at all
at this time, because why would she even think this
was a fun prank?

Speaker 1 (37:50):
Not to mention going into my phone without my permission.

Speaker 3 (37:53):
How she knows my password, I'm not sure because it's
not simple or related to me. I had initially promised
I would answer her seventeenth birthday, which is next month.
She had previously also asked for a new PC, which
I got, but it's supposed to be a surprise. I
also happened to be her godmother. My question is will
I be overreacting if I take all these gifts back and.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
Keep a distance from her. Is that overkill?

Speaker 3 (38:17):
I feel maybe I'm punishing her for the way my
husband reacted and brought up something traumatic for me. Also,
maybe his response is justified because he thought the text
were for me, and then I was all smiley and
sweet when I came back. I'm confused on how to proceed,
but Reddit has previously helped figure stuff out before, so
I decided to turn to them again. Sorry if this
was too lengthy, and let me know if there's anything

(38:37):
I have to clarify.

Speaker 1 (38:39):
Thanks.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
I don't think taking this away from her is gonna well,
it probably will sting, but she probably doesn't know what's coming.
I think there needs to be more consequence on Hey,
this is what happened, and this this is a consequence.
I don't know if this were to happen, what would
the courts do or like what would something to do
and kind of like I don't know, reenact that as
ant because like before you turn eighteen, I believe that

(39:04):
if you make any mistakes or things that need consequences,
you need to prepare for the real world. Like if
you pull this in the real world, this is probably
what's gonna happen, and you need to prepare to that
if you want to keep these behaviors up, or you
could learn from this and become a smart person, and
I'll do them. That's what I would want for my kid,
and I would have to like with my partner Dakota

(39:25):
in this scenario, mm hmm, we would talk about something
and I think what you and I came to is
what we would do.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (39:33):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
The thing the thing I'll say, out of all this,
there's one caveat, and it's that Op said that they
were going to pull away too m And like I
would this. Clearly you're not their parents, so it's not
like you're responsible their parent them, but like you don't
need to do that, Like clearly they're still sixteen, they're No,
they're old enough to know that was wrong, but like

(39:55):
they're also sixteen.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
Yeah, relevant comments Irish Watcher.

Speaker 3 (40:00):
The most important thing first is to make sure your
husband knows what really happened, and to have your sister
send him the video feed showing your niece on your
phone after you make sure he believes you.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
I would then go scorched earth with your niece.

Speaker 3 (40:12):
Actions have consequences and she needs to understand that now.
And that is in no way any type of prank.
The person is there. With most pranks, the person is
there to see the outcome and say ha ha. Your
niece would have had no idea what was going on,
so how would she even know the prank that was
successful or not. And obviously I would change all my

(40:33):
passwords on everything, including banking apps.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
Opee replies.

Speaker 3 (40:37):
He was present when I asked for the footage and
he has seen it too. Right, and there's an update.
Thank you everyone for all the comments and advice. It's
incredibly appreciated. All of this happened yesterday. I only posted
because I was slightly conflicted to answer common questions. Yes,
I did sleep for four hours at my sister's house.
She's my sister. And we do stuff like that. I

(41:00):
didn't say I was tired from what I helped with her.
I was simply just tired. Both of my sisters and
niece weren't aware of my husband's and my fight from
the previous night. Nice also was not aware of the
full extent of my mental health struggles from the pregnancy.
Niece wasn't texting for two and a half hours straight.
She was on and off the phone. I assumed she
got off it when she thought she would be caught.

(41:22):
Apparently she has known my password for a while now.
She learned it from looking over my shoulder at a
family event from a couple of months back. Also, according
to my sister, she has gone into my phone before
at least three times that she fessed up to. She
has transferred money to herself, taken videos and pictures on it,
gone through my text with my kids and some other relatives,

(41:44):
stolen other people's numbers, gotten passwords for my streaming services
that they didn't own, and gone through my other text
with my husband. And yes, there's some nots safe for
work stuff in there. I think you're I think we
need to maybe put a little more focus and attention
at the nie, Yeah, making sure she's not secretly like
developing very negative behavioral patterns. What because yeah, I wasn't

(42:10):
gonna say it, but blush uh oh oh, I think
they deleted their.

Speaker 1 (42:14):
Well there it is again. So she's a thief.

Speaker 3 (42:17):
Yeah, yeah, it said faif in annoy, she said on
a sounding money. Yeah, send sending money. This night years
is crazy. My husband is okay. We talked and he
apologized for how he spoke to me, but I told
him I totally understood why he would say what he said.
I also apologized for my reaction. We are okay on

(42:37):
our front and decided we're both justified given what we
both individually knew. Back to the niece, the only other
thing she did, according to her, was transfer more money.
I checked my recently deleted text and there was nothing
suspicious there. But I don't know if you can delete
text from recently deleted you can. She also said she
thought the prank would be funny because there was no
way my husband would believe all that stuff she texted, because,

(42:59):
according to her, he loves me too much and we
have a perfect relationship. In the texts, he had only
replied that we would talk when I got home and
that he wasn't going to have that conversation with me
over texts. This girl went all the way to add
that I would send the papers in a couple of
days and talk about the kids with lawyers. I can't
explain how absolutely pissed I am. The plan is to

(43:21):
go absolutely no contact with her after learning of all
the other stuff she did.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
There will be no birthday and no PC.

Speaker 3 (43:28):
Someone said to put up a post saying if anyone
got a questionable text for me in the last twenty
four hours to let me know. I did that and
no one had reached out yet, so I'm hoping it
was just my husband. I'm getting my money back. I checked,
and in total she has sent over seven hundred dollars
to herself that I wasn't aware of. She did not
send it in bulk, just little bits here and there.

(43:50):
I guess I didn't catch on because I do send
her money often and I do have quite a bit
in my account blecks, so it wasn't obvious her mother
will send the money to me from her daughter's savings.
Later this weekend, I told her mother about the suggestions
you guys gave on community service and therapy. I'm low
key scared for her future relationships and college life. She

(44:10):
would not have any electronic devices for the rest of
the summer. Personally, I do not want to lay eyes
on her in the near future. Oh and yeah, she
has done this before to one of her friends, whom
she's still friends with. I don't know why anyone would
remain friends with someone like that. This hurt me a
lot because I love this child so much. I was
more present than her father the first eleven years of
her life. She used to come to me for her

(44:32):
struggles and problems and all that teenage stuff.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
She had her first period at my house.

Speaker 3 (44:36):
Her other cousins on her dad's side are jealous of
our relationship. For goodness sake, she was my favorite one.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
Riley, I was a crappy teenage girl, and I'm telling
you I did the same crap at sixteen. I absolutely
knew what I was doing. However, to your credit, I
also didn't understand adult implement implications.

Speaker 3 (44:53):
Except when someone needs to start teaching her at the
very least. I mean, she's sixteen. She's not a monster.

Speaker 2 (44:59):
Iride like.

Speaker 1 (45:01):
She has time to change. Uh, faith reactions have time
to change.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
Sixteen. Is you need to be harsh because in two
years they will be eighteen and out of this world. Right,
A lot of yard work, dude work, I'm sorry. I know,
like everyone's like child labor. On my I did a
lot of child labor. And look at me and your
pro child labor. Yeah, I am.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
I don't really care what her mom does about all
these I just want my money back and to never
speak to her for now.

Speaker 1 (45:27):
In the future, I might be open to some contact.
I've blocked your number.

Speaker 3 (45:30):
So she sent me a long email which I haven't
read yet, and her mom also brought a handwritten apology
letter from her to my husband. My sister is aware
of my decisions and has apologized for her daughter's behavior.
My mom is also aware of the situation. Now I
have no doubt it is about to become an extended
family problem. Anyway, that's that for now. We have some

(45:54):
relevant comments.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
Let's get into them a little bit.

Speaker 3 (45:57):
Scenario scenario ing, Uh, there will be no birthday and OPC.
Will there be police for all the different crimes she's sixteen?

Speaker 1 (46:07):
All the different crimes. How many different crimes were there?

Speaker 2 (46:09):
Well, there were some like not for safe things and
that could be considered in some things like maybe revenge
corn or like if you got end of.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
The shs any of that stuff.

Speaker 2 (46:19):
She didn't know, but like I don't know if she
didn't really dive into that either privacy.

Speaker 1 (46:23):
Well, it's the stealing all the money. Well now sorry,
I'm remembering now.

Speaker 3 (46:26):
Oh yeah, it's stilling the money from three different people.
So Op replies, we have decided not to go the
legal route. I already got my money back with an
additional three hundred dollars. I have not really decided what
to do about the snooping, pictures, videos and passwords for now,
do Cup twenty eight sixty seven says, not the a hole.
Please tell me you've now changed all of your passwords.

(46:48):
Op says, we have me and my husband and my
kids nice and that is the end of that story.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
Hey, it's Sam.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
We're gonna get back to these stories.

Speaker 3 (46:58):
But here's three bits of ads from our sponsors that
keep the show alive.

Speaker 2 (47:01):
I'm scared to watch my niece again after the stunt
she pulled.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Oh, she tried to jump over seventy two school buses.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
Wow, this snants of a novella. This happened a couple
of weeks ago, but I'm posting here due to pressure
being put on me by her mother. I'll start with
a little background. By the way, this comes from throwaway
Uncle twelve twelve and if you would have spend your
own stories, go to your slash okay stories. I'm subbur
at it. So my brother Jeff twenty eight mel was
and is reckless throughout high school. He dated mini girls,

(47:31):
sometimes more than one at once, and was always cut
in class to smoke or meet a girl. I was
already off to college, but my parents were always on
his case, and it seemed like whenever I was home,
he was being punished for something or another. Well, eventually
he went to college himself and everything caught up with him.
He grew up in a small town and people let

(47:53):
him get away with a lot. He ended up getting
punted out of school for a series of pranks and incidences.
Instead of learning his lesson, he just came home and
started partying and sleeping around. Cuts her. A few years
later and he gets Janis pregnant, and none of us
were surprised. He was always careless. What did surprise us?
That Janie kept the kid? We call her Natalie Jeff

(48:14):
freaked out the whole pregnancy and ended up ignoring the
fact that it even happened. Except for child support, he
has done nothing to do with his child, despite us
pleading with him to be in her life. It's not
that he's a bad guy, he just suffords anything serious
in life anyway cuts it out. And Natalie is an
absolutely awesome young lady. She would be the best thing

(48:34):
to happen to my brother if he would acknowledge her.
Jani's parents disowned her for a bit for ruining her
life by having Natalie, so me and my parents have
always helped out. I do this for Natalie because I
actually am not fond of Janis. She confided to me
once that she only had Natalie, thinking Jeff would step
up and she could be a stay at home mom.

(48:55):
She has a history of bringing random guys a home
around my knee. Also, I don't think it's ever been physical.
I think she is abusing Natalie. Her punishments are often extreme.
She once took everything out of Natalie's room except her
bed because she drew on the wall with crayon. I
live only a couple of towns over more than an

(49:16):
hour's drive, so I'm happy to take Natalie for a
weekend or so. Over the last summer she stayed with
me for a month. I think Janie looks forward to
these as times to spend partying and going out with men.
Natalie is funny and sometimes very profound, and we have
a blast exploring the city together. She's also very smart,
sometimes in devious ways, which will be important for later.

(49:38):
The incident happened a couple of weeks ago while she
was staying the weekend with me. It was Friday afternoon
evening and we are at the grocery store. If I'm
watching her, we get up early on Saturdays and watch
cartoons and eat cereals, so we always pick a box
of cereal to eat. I was talking to my girlfriend
on the phone when Natalie comes up with the fan

(50:00):
size frosted flakes. She's been beaming it like she just
wanted a contest. I tell her it was a nice tribe,
but put it back and get a regular size, and
she starts to throw a tantrum. I regret this, but
between her and my girlfriend, I was getting a bit stressed,
so I snapped at her to put it back. I
regretted it instantly, She looks stunned for a second. This

(50:20):
is the first time I've ever snapped at her, and
this alone makes me feel horrible. Then hung her head
and went and went to put it back. I said,
I decided to finish the phone call and just let
her get the big box. She just standing there in
the aisle with her head hanging. My heart strings were
being yanked at this point. I go up to grab
the box she had, but when my hand touches her shoulder,

(50:43):
she clowns away and yells get away from me, loud
enough that a few people turn their heads. I was
a bit shocked myself and moved towards her again, and
she really started on it. She kept yelling for me
to get away, asking who I was, and yelling for help.
Now I was getting a bit terrified, so I began
begging her to please stop, that she's going to get
in serious trouble, even though I was really more scared

(51:04):
of what was going to happen to me. Finally, a
manager approaches and starts talking to her. She tells him
that she doesn't know me and can't find her mom.
Oh no, my heart is breaking a bit right now,
and I'm panicking a bit, especially when the manager asked
over the rea idio for the police to be called.
I guess he saw that I wasn't running, so he
asked me to step into his office with him and

(51:24):
that they would watch Natalie. What followed was the scariest
three hours of my life. First, the police came and
asked me a bunch of questions. They had Natalie in
another room. After a while, they believe me, but couldn't
release her to anyone but her legal guardian. They called
Janie and requested that she come pick up her daughter,
so Janie had to leave work early, drive about an
hour and a half to come get Natalie. To say

(51:46):
she was pissed at her daughter would be an understatement.
A piece of me regrets letting Janie leave with her
when she was so mad, but there wasn't much I
could do. Everyone was full apologies to me, the manager,
of the police, and especially Janie. Natalie just shut down
and wouldn't look at me. I was nomb at that point,
and at the time it was like a bad dream.

(52:09):
I went home and laid in bed until some point
and I just went to sleep. Now it has been
about two weeks and Janie has been calling or texting
me almost every day, saying I can come by when
I can. She tells me that Natalie wants to apologize
and feels really bad that she heard her uncle like that,
And I know I should, but the idea of being
around her right now makes my anxiety spike. Jannis has

(52:30):
also been pushing me, taking her for a few weekends
during the holidays. That used to bring me joy, but
now I'm just scared. I keep thinking, what if someone
less reasonable than the manager came along and thought I
was kidnapping Natalie. I could be in the hospital. But
then I go back to her being a kid. She
didn't think about the consequences. She probably is really sorry.

Speaker 1 (52:50):
Then I feel guilty and I can't get over it.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
What do I do? Reddit? How do I get back
to a normal relationship with my niece after this? We
got an edit, We can get into it. But do
you think, Dakota, well.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
Wow, you're scared, like it's okay?

Speaker 3 (53:04):
Well, first of all, kid probably is doing this because
they saw something on YouTube or on TV, or they
saw this somewhere where someone has done this.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
Clearly, they did not come up with this idea on
their own. They are seven.

Speaker 3 (53:16):
They don't understand the implications and the seriousness of Oh.
They're just going, Oh, I can say this and it'll
get me. It'll make me get out of this. Then
he'll lose, or it's eye win.

Speaker 1 (53:29):
She's not understanding no, that that's a lose lose clearly anyway,
I think your fear is misplaced. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
It sucks. You've seen the devious work she has done before,
so this shouldn't be a surprise. I don't know if
this altercation makes you more scared than I would be
more mad at my niece than scared of the police
coming to me. I would be more like, Hey, you
don't understand how much of a protector and how much

(54:00):
I'm looking after you to say that about me. I'm hurt, right,
you've displaced your trust in me. Not I'm afraid someone's
gonna beat me up. Like, no, that's right. If someone
If I'm with my niece and someone's like she does
she pulls a stunt and they're like, hey, who are you,
I'm gonna be like, I'm her uncle, this is proof.
Call the police. Let's tie of the police interest, Like

(54:21):
I'm not leaving her side I'm protecting her. Let's get
the police involved. But we got an edit. Okay, Wow,
I don't know what to think anymore. First off, I
don't have a problem saying no to the girl. I've
said it. It's on. It was about the way I
said it. I've never been that abrupt with her. Some
people are also bringing up possibilities I had it considered.
I always hear on the news or see articles on
Facebook about a man falsely accused of Spicy related misconduct.

(54:43):
Natalie has always had apprankaster mindset, but it's never been
anything close to this, and never once has she hurt me.
I think it's best if I don't see her alone
for a bit. I can visit her at my parents
and I've also been toying with the idea of introducing
her and my girlfriend. We've been going out about six
months now and she's the coolest, so maybe the three
of us could hang out. It's really upsetting because I'm

(55:05):
going to miss chilling with her like we used to.
I feel like I got to I feel like I
got to be a kid all over again. The other
problem is that Janis is going to be all over
me to take care of her. Thanks for the replies, guys.
I've read them, all of them, even if I haven't responded.
I'll edit and update if anything new happens. We got
some comments. Oh wow, I was so angry reading this.

(55:27):
I can't imagine how upset you must be. I saidcerely
hope her mom handled her when they got home. That's
really effed up and scary manipulative for a child at
that age. Honestly, this is just one of those crappy
kid things they do. They like to push boundaries and
don't understand their actions can have serious consequences. The kid
doesn't have the emotional maturity to understand how badly this

(55:47):
could have implicated you. I'd be terrified of this happening again,
because what if she says something weirder when you're alone
with her. I'm genuinely afraid for men in these situations
because that whole absurd social stigma that arises when a
man is seen taking care of a little girl. If
this happened to my significant other, I wouldn't really want
him around the kids alone much. Can you discuss these

(56:09):
concerns with the mom and what she thinks. We got
an update. It's been a very emotional week for me,
and I wouldn't say things have blown over, but I
wanted to update everyone on what has happened. First, thank
you all. Everyone's advice has been helpful. Blah blah blah
blah blah. Now, before I get into what happened with Natalie,
I need to go over a couple of things. One
is that I won't be avoiding Natalie no matter what happens,

(56:32):
even if we don't ever hang out one on one,
I would never conceive of not seeing her again. Maybe
that makes me an idiot, Fine, I'm an idiot. Second
thing is the weird relationship with me and Janice have
For Natalie's first year. Janis was a really great mom.
She lived with my parents and they supported her and Natalie.
Jannis didn't even work. I started coming over more and
more frequently after a few months of offering to watch

(56:55):
my niece so my parents and Janice could have a
break even. Over the next couple of years, as Janice
got a job and moved into her an apartment, I
was still in town and made myself available to babysit well.
I mentioned how Janis and Natalie, thinking my brother would
still take care of them, well, I think she started
transferring those feelings to me. At the time, I was
a nerdy kid and Janis was an attractive girl. I

(57:18):
wasn't used to attention from attractive girls. We never actually
went on day or had spicy sleep, but there were
nights where we hooked up, but she always wanted more,
and for me, the nights we hooked up were the
moments of weakness. She had a kid with my brother
after all. Anyways, fast forward to now, Janie acts as
if she got me wrapped around her finger and that's

(57:39):
the one who got away. I've never robbed her of
this perspective because it makes it easier to see Natalie.
She doesn't know about my girlfriend, this will be more important.
Oh my gosh, this dude just doesn't know how to
like actually have conversations with people. Is this why it's
getting into this?

Speaker 1 (57:56):
Oh my god, that's what I'm saying. That's why I'm
this what I've been saying.

Speaker 5 (57:59):
Joe.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
He's like, Oh, I'm gonna be with nat I want
to see my niece Natalie, and I'm not gonna like
get rid of this like mommy and daddy complex here
because I'll get to see Natalie dude.

Speaker 1 (58:08):
Yeah, you gotta learn how to talk right.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
Dude.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
These are talking right situations and he's been Danish good
for six months to jannible up your speech. Come on, man,
Charisma increase for real, dude, you need charisma increase. Okay,
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
This makes sense why Janis has like because I was like,
why is like op Oka with taking care of Natalie
so easily? This makes sense?

Speaker 1 (58:31):
Sound yeah, because they're freaking.

Speaker 2 (58:34):
I called my dad after I posted on Sunday and
we had a long talk about what happened. My dad
is good to go to advice because you can see
things from multiple angles. He said a lot of the
same things I heard from Reddit when I brought up therapy.
You're counseling because of possible He mentioned some deserving things.
He said that Natalie had some other problems with guys

(58:54):
that Janice would bring home. No, my hair was standing
up on my neck when he said that. But it's
not as bad as it could be. I guess at
least that's what she willing to share. Just some things
like being able to hear weird noises from her mom's
room when guys come over, or one of them getting
wasted and yelling at her or Janis. That got me
pretty mad, especially because Janis has already had a harmful

(59:16):
relationship that we all helped her get away from, so
the fact that she was bringing guys back who were
yelling at them is worrisome. Anyways, I made plans with
my dad to see Natalie on Wednesday on my parents.
Janis had already cold once while I was talking to
my dad, so I rang her back. This was one
I got nervous because I knew she was going to
try and guilt trip me into watching my niece, but

(59:37):
I managed to hold my ground. I explained to her
that I didn't feel comfortable seeing Natalie alone for a bit.
I would still see her at my parents or at
a place if our schedules aligned, but I couldn't see
her alone at least until the new year, and we
would revisit it. Janie didn't take this well. She kept
telling me she had made plans the weekend after Thanksgiving

(59:58):
and that I was put her in a real bind.
I tried explaining that as she put herself in a
bind if she made plans without confirming I could help.
She didn't like that. The real drama though, happened when
I floated the idea that my girlfriend could come down
sometime and meet Natalie. Janis got real upset and then
started accusing me of ignoring Natalie and her so I

(01:00:21):
could beat with my girlfriend. I really didn't care about
the grocery store incident. I just wanted it out. Oh,
so he's like, he's like getting at her. He's like,
this is this whole grocery store thing is a ruse
so you can hang out with your girlfriend instead of Natalie.

Speaker 1 (01:00:34):
You're trying to get out of seeing Natalie. Does his
girlfriend know that he cheated on her with Janie? No, no, no,
no no no no no no, no no no.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
He's been dating his girlfriend for six months. He used
to hook up with Janis in the past, so he
used to make out and stuff in the past, not
while he was with his new girlfriend. No, okay, no, okay,
this story's not confusing me. Does everyone need a TLDR
dig you spot give me a teal. I wasn't the
only one thinking that, I think for sure. I know
I wasn't for free anyways, I know. So he just

(01:01:04):
hasn't told Janis about his girlfriend, and Jannis thinks that
there's some kind of like relationship.

Speaker 4 (01:01:09):
To stop it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:11):
Stop doing this.

Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
You can't be in None of this is working for anybody,
least of all you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
Ope.

Speaker 2 (01:01:21):
I argued as best as I could, but she hung
up after a few minutes, not sure what's going to
happen with that. And we come to Wednesday. I was
so nervous all day. I didn't get much work done.
I just stared at the clock and tried to ignore
what I had to do. The whole ride down, my
palms were sweating. I didn't know what to expect. When
I walked through the door, my parents greeted me and

(01:01:42):
told me they'd go get Natalie. She had been in
a room since she got out of school. I sat
on the couch and tried to plan what I was
going to say. She came down and had her head
hanging down, and I went up and hugged her, and
we both started crying. I said I missed her, and
she was really starting blubbering and kept saying she was
sorry over and over. I just kept hugging her, so

(01:02:03):
she calmed down a bit. I raised her head and
looked in her eyes and told her I knew she
was sorry, but that things had changed now and she
couldn't come over to my place for a bit. She
started crying again, saying she was sorry over and over
and kept asking me not to leave her Like Tim,
That got my attention. Tim was over the worst guy
that Janas saw for a few months. It was probably
the best guy she's seen yet. He had his own boy,

(01:02:25):
who was a couple of years younger than Natalie, so
he knew what to raising a kid was like. Well,
Natalie loved him, actually, we all loved him. He was funny,
easy to get along with, had a decent job. We
were all hoping that Tim would be around permanently, but unfortunately,
Janie and em had a falling.

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
Out and broke up.

Speaker 2 (01:02:42):
Well. After asking Natalie why she was saying that, she
told me that her mom had not only told her
that Tim was leaving, but it was her fault and
that if she did anything like that what she did
in the supermarket again, then I would leave forever too.
Oh my gosh, get Natalie out.

Speaker 1 (01:02:59):
I've never seen him more.

Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
Were like just acutely child breaking sentence than that?

Speaker 1 (01:03:05):
That's crazy?

Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
What did red boy wants?

Speaker 3 (01:03:10):
It should be illegal for you to raise a child?
If you say something like that to your innocent child.

Speaker 2 (01:03:17):
Oh my god, Jannis, we just gotta get We gotta
OPI adopt Natalie.

Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
We're banning all stories with the name Janie.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
After time, me and my parents were pretty mad after
hearing that. I reassured her that I would never leave
her and that she stuck with me. I did tell
her that what she did to hurt me was dangerous
and we couldn't spend much time together like we used
to for a while. I used I used a line
that like it Mistress posted in the last thread, I

(01:03:46):
love you, but I don't love what you did. She
told me she was sorry over and over, and I
accepted her apology. I hung around until her bedtime. We
watched the Adventure time, I helped her with her homework
and put her to bed. We were both in a
much better mood by then. If Jeff and Janice got together,
Janis probably has a lot of attributions Like Jeff. Two,

(01:04:08):
she is not very the smartest person because she thought
that Jeff would stay with her whenever she had the kid.
And three, she's not really ready or built to be
a mother yet because she was like whenever she was
a stay at home mom. Basically she was a great mom,
but whenever she had esca work and provide for a kid,
she's not ready for that. And she's thinking she's doing
the best that she can, but she's being very selfish

(01:04:30):
and prioritizing herself rather than her kid because she was
hoping to be a part of the family. But now
she's stuck with this, and I think it's time to
for Janice to just give Natalie up.

Speaker 3 (01:04:42):
I just a horrific chain of events that, dude, you're
breaking your kid.

Speaker 1 (01:04:46):
Yeah, you're breaking your kid, like acutely. By Saint God.

Speaker 3 (01:04:50):
I just can't I truly can't imagine what hearing something
like that at seven.

Speaker 1 (01:04:56):
Would do to me.

Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
Oh yeah, like.

Speaker 3 (01:04:59):
I wou I didn't even know it, and I'd like,
oh my god, that's like not even a thing you're
conscious of. I think it's something that you like. Slowly
over time, you just go why do I think this?
And it's like, oh, it's because my mom told me
I was the reason Tim left when I was seven.
Now that's why I think everything's my fault.

Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
Yeah, back to the story. I'm now in another word
spot On one hand, I want to chew Janis out
big time for pulling all that crap on my niece's shoulders.
On the other I'm actually afraid that if I poke
the bear too much, Janis may withhold her daughter from
me indefinitely. I think Janis feels like she lost control
of the situation and maybe do something jurassic to get

(01:05:41):
it back. I do risk being cut out of my
niece's life by putting her mom in her place. Is
there any one we can call? Thanks in advance, we
got a comment. I do remember reading your first post
a while ago and not really knowing what to say,
but actually have some advice here. I spent the majority
of my younger years being taken care of by my
grandmother and aunt and uncle. My parents had issues and

(01:06:04):
I was catered off to them during the weekdays. They
were good parents, just made mistakes. I want to say
that if she been taking care of you as much
as she is, she considers you a father too. I
used to tell people I had three moms, my grandmother,
my aunt, and my mom, and called my cousins my
brother and sister. Lines of uncle, aunt, grandmother, mom, dad

(01:06:25):
are blurred when kids are taken care of in the
extended families. In my mom's home country, it's really common
to foster your kids out of extended family because you
can't afford to take care of them. So I have
a lot of relatives who have seen these lines blurred together,
and Natalie seems to have an abandonment issues. It seems
to me that Janis expects you to take care of

(01:06:46):
her or your brother and blames Natalie because no one
wants a woman with a child or whatever she believes
herself and her dating situation. Sleeping with her was a
big old mistake. But what you need to focus on
is that Natalie gets help. Whatever Janice has taught Natalie
about parental love, it has definitely been warping her ideas

(01:07:09):
about you, and it's making her act out in front
of you. Getting her counseling, get her to talk to someone,
maybe your mom, and get the full story. Ask her
about exactly what happened with Tim. This might sound drastic,
but would you or your parents ever consider taking over
custody Hope, He says, it's come up before, not a
serious option, but it's just a case scenario. It would

(01:07:32):
be my parents likely they were well off and retired
early and could be true full time caretakers. They're in
their late sixties, though, so I would have to help out.
I'm sure I get the same feeling about Janie. It
seems like she hops from one guy to the next,
hoping of one of them will start will start taking
care of her and Natalie. I do want to stress
real quick that me and Janie did not have intercourse,

(01:07:55):
although we fooled around and got closed once or twice.
Counseling seems to be conscientious now. But I'm in the
last thread, so I will start looking up resources. We
got to reply. If you can find a way to
have your parents become the legal guardians, please do so.
Otherwise the good that you can do for your Natalie

(01:08:15):
will always be limited by having to tiptoe around Janie,
and Janice will keep damaging her and letting others damage her.
That's it. Wow, that's the story, guys,

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My friend took advantage of my kindness… so I handled her stuff while she was away! | Reddit Stories