My friends didn’t invite me to their wedding…now they’re blaming me! | Reddit Stories

🎁 Become a member and get bonus livestreams on Mondays & Fridays! 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@OKOPShow/join

👯‍♂️ Hang out with us on Discord! 👉 [discord.gg/okstorytime](http://discord.gg/okstorytime)

✍️ Have a story? Join our subreddit and submit your story there for a chance to be featured! 👉 https://www.reddit.com/r/okstorytime/

🏆 Want ad free podcast episodes? Join our Patreon 👉 https://www.patreon.com/okopshow

👀 Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@OKOPShow

Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated

#reddit #funnyredditposts
okay storytime, okstorytime, okopshow, okop show

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
My friend didn't invite me to his wedding. I just
found out he's never lying to me.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Now, just tell him that you never liked him first,
and I'll get him a friend.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Greg twenty eight in my circle of friends met Shannon
twenty eight about five years ago, and they immediately hit
it off. Everyone instantly fell in love with Shannon because
she's friendly and really fun to hang out with.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Everyone loves Shannon.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
They were everybody's favorite couple and really made her own
hangouts marry fun. We all knew they were perfect for
each other. They both made our crew that much better.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
It's the perfect situation that could never go south.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
By the way, this comes from filling left out on
the r slashowcase story tom subreddit. The engagement was expected
but much welcome news. Our friend's circle was buzzing about
the inevitable wedding. Then the invitations went out. You know
those save the dates magnets that people send out, Well,
it really sucks seeing them on everyone else's fridge when
I visited friends, knowing I didn't get one and wasn't invited.

(00:57):
Filling left out really sucks, but it gives what I
completely understand how stressful wedding planning is, and I believe
nobody should feel that way when they have to invite
people they don't want in their wedding. It's their day
and their ceremony. They shouldn't have to have people there
who they don't want there. I didn't call it the
fuss or expressed to anyone that I was hurt and
that I felt excluded from the wedding and by extension,

(01:19):
excluded from the group. I didn't want to be looked
on in a even worse way that I feel I
was apparently being looked at, But no one actually stood
up for me when their wedding came up in conversation
and people talked about booking flights and rooms destinations in
New York City. Eventually I was asked if I book jet.
I said we, me and my girlfriend weren't invited. Nobody

(01:41):
could believe it, but I insisted that I wasn't upset
because I know how situations like this can go. I
didn't want to cause any trouble because then the happy
couple might resent me. Then I'd be the bad guy.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah, you don't want to be the bad guy. You
just don't go to the wedding. I goes.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
I heard through other friends that my friend Tracy thought
it was really messed up that I wasn't invited. She
and I never spoke of how I wasn't invited to
the wedding, but she really felt a certain way about it.
So a month before the destination wedding, I got a
text from Greg basically saying sorry for forgetting to send
an invite, but that they would love to have us
come to the wedding. It was way too late at
that point for me. This is a pity invite. I

(02:17):
couldn't get away from my job, and I didn't have
a chance to put money aside for a year for
an expensive New York City destination wedding like everyone else did.
I didn't even get as saved the date. Every flight
and hotel no rooms were everyone else was staying obviously
too late for that was affordable for me. I texted
them back and said I couldn't make it. The wedding

(02:37):
came and went, and I felt bad about everything. I
saw the Facebook pictures of my friends all having the
time of their lives. It looked like a great wedding.
There's even a picture of just the group of friends
labeled the crew the crew I didn't think of. I'd
ever felt so left out. Honestly, it really made me
feel worthless and unwanted. So naturally, the typical thoughts surfaced.

(02:59):
They don't like you. They think you're annoying. They think
you're an a hole. If you can't identify as the
show ruck in the group of friends, that means you're it.
They think you try way too hard to be nice.
They think you're a phony. Then, as if I couldn't
get it any worse, Shannon messages me on Facebook asking
why I did an RSVP and they said they missed
me at the wedding. RSVP doesn't one have to be

(03:22):
invited in order to RSVP. Everyone got a year to
prepare between getting saved the dates and actual wedding invitations.
I got a text from a month before the wedding,
just as I feared I'm being made out as a
bad guy, and even made a point to keep my
feelings to myself to play cool. But as usual, I
didn't say this to her because I know how I

(03:42):
would end up looking. I actually apologized for her. I
don't even know, but I made a point to mention
how I spoke to Greg about it. I also made
sure to compliment the wedding pictures and say it looked fun.
I did everything I could in that conversation to make
it easier for her. And of course I feel like
a total schmuck.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, you should have stood on business there, buddy, That's
what I'd say. She's like, why didn't you RCP. It's like, well,
I couldn't RSPPI I didn't get invited, And then she'd go,
what maybe, Like, well, I mean, yeah, I wasn't gonna
make a big deal out of it, but.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
I got three paragraphs and then two updates. Oh boy,
but no, I agree. I would have been like, oh
I got invited from Greg a month he said, Yeah,
I would.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
Have definitely mentioned it's honestly fishy. The way that he
just put that, it's like it maybe it does sound
like they don't like you because you're maybe a bit
of a people pleaser. You know, have a backbone. You're
not real, dude. You should have kept it real in
that moment. They didn't feel like you were being real.
Come on, that was this past summer and I haven't
seen them since. I feel like that's it for me.
In the group. Now.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
I see some of the friends in our group every
now and then, but everything feels different now. None of
them even responded to my birthday party Facebook invite this month.
I feel like things are being said behind the scenes
and I feel completely out of the loop. It felt
like a passive aggressive message that maybe Greg and Shannon
never liked me. My fiance gets along great with Shannon,
and she's just confused. Seeing her confusion that makes my

(04:57):
heart break even more because she's a sweetheart who's never offended.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Anyone in her life.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
I wish I could break it to her that I'm
just the guy in the group that Greg and Shannon thinks,
but I don't know how, and it feels like a
complete loser who deserves this. I'll always appreciate Tracy for
sticking up for me. She may never know how awesome
it feels hearing how she told everyone it was messed
up that I was left out. Dude, w Tracy, get

(05:24):
yourself a Tracy. Okay, a friend, Tracy. I haven't even
spoken to her about it, and about a whole thing
made me feel or anyone for the matter. Reddit, you
were the first to hear about it, because I didn't
want to appear like I am making a stink, and
even become more disliked this whole thing, as I feel
like I don't have any more friends, and to make
it worse, soon I'll have a wedding of my own

(05:46):
and I'm afraid I won't have any friends there except
for Tracy. Of course, how am I supposed to handle
who I invite so it doesn't seem like I am
leaving people out for petty revenge? How the heck do
I even navigate a toxic situation that I had no
hand in creating. I feel like I'm in the dark
or could be overreacting.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
What the heck?

Speaker 1 (06:05):
I wish I could see this friend group and know
who these people were so I could really understand the
full context.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, there's clearly something that we're missing here.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
We got two updates, by the way, two updates.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
It always feels bad to be excluded, right, Oh yeah, No,
one likes to be excluded. Nope. But op to say that,
like this is a situation that he had no part
in creating. It's like you weren't the genesis of this situation,
Like that started when you weren't invited to the wedding,
but you not saying anything about it or expressing any

(06:36):
way about how you felt about it until literally this
post is what he just said that in and of itself,
is you participating in this toxic affair? Like if you
just clearly stated it outright that like, yeah, I didn't
get invited, like just asking Greg, like, hey, was I
not invited to your wedding? Because it's happened like June July.
As soon as you found out you were invited, you
should have within like a week reached out to them

(06:57):
and been like, hey, so what's going on? Might not
invited to your wedding? I would just like to clarify that,
And is it something wrong? Are we not cool? You know?
By being that passive, like you've kind of allowed this
situation to become as stinky as it is. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
Update, and then we have another update three days later.
I have took everyone's advice and brought it up with Tracy.
She just confirmed that Shannon was full of crap when
she asked me why I didn't get my RSVP and
wanted to absolve herself of guilt. I'm sure if they
ever forgot or I just wasn't invited yet, but Tracy

(07:32):
said we'd talk about it more tonight when she gets
off work. So Shannon was on Greg's side.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Yeah, Shannon was like low key, trying to be like, oh,
why didn't your RSVP? It's like, you know why he didn't?
You know why, Shannon, Oh my gosh, I was clever.
This sounds like a circle of friends you don't want
to associate yourself with because they're literally conspiring against you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
because Shannon and Greg led it.

Speaker 1 (07:56):
And then and now Tracy's kind of done with the
group of friends because Tracy was probably there. Yeah, she's
an informant. Get yourself a Tracy final update. I spoke
about it in depth with Tracy. Turns out Greg's best man,
someone who was never in the gang but grew up
with Greg, always hated me, and Greg thinks I'm annoying.
Shannon later felt bad that they chose not to invite

(08:16):
me and pressured him to invite me over text, knowing
I wouldn't be able to make it. Also, it wasn't
only Tracy who thought it was wrong that I didn't
get an invite, and the chatter is what made Shannon
think why I didn't RSVP to make it seem like
my invite was lost in the mail. You will never
be lost if you joined us LAV every dew week
day a three pm PSD. Just tap her profile.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
That's right, you'll be found right here in the comments section.
Sounds like she heard all the chatter about like where's Op?
Why is an OP here? Yeah? And then she's like, hey,
I wish you could have made it. Why didn't you? RSVP?
It's like, come on, but again not saying this is
Op's fault because he didn't start this, but his lack
of straightforward communication about it as soon as he realized

(08:58):
how he felt about it allowed this to sort of persist.
You know, I understand not wanting to be the guy
who like makes a big deal out of anything, but
it's like you're not necessarily doing that if you're just asking, hey,
did you invite me to your wedding? Because I didn't
get an invitation? That's literally just asking did it get
lost in the mail? What's going on here? Yeah? And yeah,
I don't know. It sounds like Greg and Channon are
not your friends. No, no, no, and Greg's whatever his

(09:22):
best man is. Yeah, I thinks you're a tool. For
some reason, which that sounds like a tool. Man, He
sounds like a tool.

Speaker 1 (09:27):
It feels better than knowing this, because, like I said,
they don't have to have people they don't want at
their wedding. But knowing Greg doesn't like me effing hurts
because I always thought we were friends. Turns out he's
a phony. Unfortunately, everyone else, except for Tracy and a
few others, like Greg more than me, So they kind
of felt like they had to choose the side. After
Tracy and a few others, it turns out, brought up

(09:48):
why I didn't get invited. Lots of people feeling guilty
about this. Apparently they still feel like they had to
choose a side for whatever reason, probably because most of
them went to high school with Greg. Oh, well, that's live.
Thanks for the vice about being more certive. Those of
you who are polait about it were very helpful. Thanks,
But deg was not nice to you about this.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
I mean, I can definitely see people being like, this
is your fault because you didn't speak up because you're
a little beta, and it's like, that's not no. It's
a delicate situation to bring up, but it's like politics, man,
just be a little more sert about it next time,
take an active role in figuring the situation out. Yeah, exactly.
My queer friends are mad that I got a girlfriend,

(10:27):
so I dropped them.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
Well that's a curve ball.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
You heard it here first, folks. I am a bisexual
guy and my friend Steve, whom I've known for ten years,
is gay. So we come from conservative families, so we
didn't even know the concept of queerness when we were young.
Steve and I were inseparable throughout our teenage years, and
people joked that we were like brothers. By the way,
this comes from user Victor Reid's on the r slash
Okay story time, so I read it. So we managed

(10:49):
to get into the same college and move to a
big city when we were seventeen years old. This exposed
us to a completely different world, and Steve realized that
he was gay. I realized that I, who was attracted
to men. Not knowing anything about the queer stuff, I
thought I was gay too. Steve and I found other
queer people, and our new friends circle was made of
gay people. We couldn't tell our families that we were queer,

(11:10):
so Steve and I could only depend on each other
underground queer roads Underground queer roads grade A A A
plus commentary. That would be the underground queer railroad would
just be from the Midwest to a big city. That
is the underground railroad for gay people or West Hollywood.
Move out of like the middle of Iowa to West

(11:31):
Hollywood and you go, oh, I'm gay. We couldn't tell
our friends that we were queer, so Steve and I
could only depend on each other. We started dating men,
but our initial relationships weren't very serious. After my first
gay relationship ended, I realized that I was attracted to
both men and women. I was bisexual. I told this
to my group of queer friends, who said that I
was going through a phase, that years of brainwashing was
the reason that I was attracted to women, that I

(11:52):
would get over it, and they told me that I
was gay. Steve refused to accept that I was bisexual
and told me that bisexuality wasn't real. So this is
something I've heard from some of my gay friends or
bisexual friends, like within the gay community, that they can
be very sort of not tolerant or accepting of bisexual people.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
Dude, that's crazy because like some of the straight community,
isn't accepting of gay people, so they're like, no one's
accepting anyone.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
Yeah, just a circle of I don't know, maybe it's
just human nature.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
Not accept one. Like I don't like what you.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Bro And I'm not going to try to generalize the
entire gay community in a sentence. I'm just telling you
what's I've gotten from my own first hand accounts of
my friends being like, yeah, I had like a group
of friends and they found out I was bisexual, and
they like nothing to do with me, or they were
telling them. It's like that's not real, Like Steve is said,
is where it's like you're actually just gay or you're
actually just straight. So it's like pick one, you're pretending interesting, huh,

(12:45):
Which what it's like? Let people be who they are.
I tried to convince him, but he refused to accept
that I wasn't gay. We were roommates, and this started
causing a lot of tension between us. I decided to
let it go and stopped trying to convince him. Things
went back to normal and I had two more gay relationships.
Steve got into a serious relationship with a senior. Our
families didn't know anything about this. Then I met my

(13:08):
current girlfriend Mary at a bar. Mary and I hit
off immediately. We exchanged numbers and kept talking for a
week before I invited her out to our flat. I
introduced her to Steve, and Mary and I went into
my room. When she was leaving, I noticed that Steve
was glaring at her. I didn't think much about this.
Mary and I started meeting more often than Steve refused
to talk to her. I decided to ask him about it,

(13:30):
and he told me that Mary was not good for
me and asked me why I was being so close
to a woman. I asked him what he meant by that,
and he just stormed off. He's a pick me. Why
won't you pick me? Can't you just be my gay
best friend lover that I grew up with? He wants
to live his idealized fantasy. Well, what's going to a
mountain and you're not real bisexuality? It's really throwing off
my entire life plan. Steve started fighting me about trivial

(13:52):
things that didn't matter before Mary and I made our
relationship official a few weeks later, and I posted about
it on my story. When I got back to our flat,
Steve and a few friends were waiting for me. They're
having like a bisexual intervention. Steve started shouting at me,
asking how I could betray him. He told me that
I turned my back on him, and he called Mary
a witch. I reminded him that I was bisexual and

(14:15):
assured him that I wasn't leaving him. Our friends took
Steve's side and asked me why I started dating a woman.
They agreed with Steve that Mary bewitched to me. Oh wow,
you know, apparently that's a thing. I left our flat
and when I came back later, Steve refused to talk
to me and told me that he wouldn't talk to
me as long as I was in a relationship with Mary.

(14:35):
I hope that this would blow over, but Steve refuses
to talk to me. A month later, a month long
silent treatment. Who I really like Mary and I don't
want to end our relationship, but Steve needs my support
and nobody back home knows anything about us being queer.
We would most probably be disowned if they found out.
How do I handle this situation? We got to edit.

(14:57):
I don't want to leave him because he has nobody
else to support him when he comes out to his family.
I'm sure that it'll be ugly, and I want to
be there for him when it happens. Yeah, but he's
not really giving you the opportunity to do so by
saying that bisexuality is a trick invented by women to
bewitch gay men back to being straight, which is insane.

(15:17):
That's an insane thing to think. Well, it's always the women. Yeah,
I'm a stand on that being bisexual is real.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
He probably wanted to come out with you. That's why
he's upset. He's like, you're gonna be right there with me,
and you were gonna be my gay lover, and I
can't do that.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
Now my plan is gone. He can still come out
with you.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
He's bisexual, and it does think that Steve doesn't have
anyone else to kind of support him, and I think
he's disappointed.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
I think he just low key wanted to date Ope.
Oh yeah, he's just mad that he can't date Opee
because he's got a girlfriend now. It really is not
very cool vibes from Steve. All Right, we have an update.
After I posted on Reddit, I decided to tell Mary
about Steve not talking to me. She was extremely supportive
and told me that she'd support me and anything I
decided to do. Some people ask if Mary knew about

(15:58):
my gay relationships. I told her about my earlier relationships
and me being bisexual in our first date, and she
was okay with it. I did not know by phobia
was a thing until the comments told me about it yesterday.
I assumed that everybody in the LGBT community supported each other,
and I thought I was doing something wrong. As many
people suggested, I decided to cut off my toxic friend circle.

(16:18):
Nice and I won't be talking to them in the future. Nice,
good job, Ope, I fully support that. A comment about
the relationship between Steve and I being codependent made me
rethink our friendship. I didn't even think about that, but yeah,
that codependency could be a real thing. There. I realized
that we were depending on each other too much. We
were the only connection to home left for each other,

(16:39):
and this made us way too dependent on each other.
I felt like we just needed some space from each other.
I decided to move out, and when I told Steve
about this, he started crying and begged me not to leave.
He said he would talk to me and that he
would tolerate Mary, and I told him that we were
just being codependent, and he wouldn't need to tolerate me
if he didn't like my choices. I told him that
I would be there for him when he decides to

(17:00):
come out, and that he could always count on my support.
Steve kept crying, but I told him my decision was final.
Good job, Ope, you made a decision. You're putting a boundary.
You're standing on business. I went back to my room,
called Mary and started crying and again, sometimes standing on
business is hard. I did not want to leave my
friend alone. She listened to what I had to say
and reassured me I had to look for a new
place to live. But Mary called me a few hours

(17:23):
later and told me that one of her friends has
a room and then I could move in with him.
I thanked her for her help. W Mary, let's go
a good girl friend. Good job Mary. Steve's friends started
calling and yelling at me for abandoning them for a girl.
They accused me of being a bad friend and accused
Mary of breaking up our friendship. When I called Mary later,
she told me that my friends were calling her and
shouting at her for breaking up my friendships. I apologized,

(17:46):
but she was very understanding and told me that she
would be there for me if I needed her. Hearing
hearsay that made me feel better. Yeah, Mary, Hey, big
W for Mary. That's another W for Mary, And you
know it's another W for you is if you join
us live on YouTube every weekday at three PMPST just
tap our profile. So we do have a little bit left.
I think, honestly, you've had a root awakening that I

(18:08):
guess biphobia is a thing in the gay community. You know,
I think you're making the right call here. You've done
it in a way that I think as the highest
likelihood of maintaining a positive relationship with Steve. Yeah, forget
all those other people that you guys know, they're not important.
What's important is that this guy that you've had a
friendship and a relationship with your entire life. Essentially, it's
still maintained. You don't want to lose that. And you know,

(18:30):
it's a confusing time.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
They'll probably come around. Yeah, you know, they'll probably like, hey,
I understand the way I treated you. They might apologize
one day, and I hope, hope you were open to
that if they apologize.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
Yeah, I would hope. So it's a lot to go
from being like closeted not even knowing you're gay, to
moving to a big city with your best friend and
then both of you are like, oh, I'm gay. That's
a lot to digest, like in a brief period of time,
for sure. So it's going to continue to develop. I'm
moving out, putting some distance between Steve and I and
blocking my earlier friends. Soor deal has made me understand

(19:00):
that I made the right decision by sticking with Mary,
and I appreciate her way more now. A lot of
you mentioned that Steve might have feelings for me. I've
only ever thought of him as a friend, and I
might have given it a shot before, but now I'm
afraid of a romantic relationship with him. Thank you to
all the people who gave me advice and to help
me decide. I think that's a pretty accurate statement. You
do not want a relationship with Steve that would go

(19:21):
full blown nuclear at the drop of a hat. Oh yeah, yeah,
I think they're right too. I think it's clear that Steve,
maybe I've said some feelings for you, so but you know,
time will heal all wounds. Hopefully. Good job standing on business.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
My entitled best friend keeps ruining my birthday. I'm sick
of her attitude.

Speaker 2 (19:37):
I would be too.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
I think this is going to be a very long story,
but I'll try to make it a very long short story.
My boyfriend twenty two melt through a surprise birthday dinner
for me, twenty two female, last year. He invited a
few close friends of mine, and obviously my best friend
twenty two female was invited too. He chose a pretty
decently prized restaurant. I was surprised. I had a bust.

(19:59):
We had a eight time, or so, I thought.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
The plot thickins.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
By the way, this comes from Fuzzy Newdy branch on
the r slash Okay story time subrad it. So the
next day, I was talking to my best friend about
planning my boyfriend's birthday dinner. His birthday is like two
weeks apart from mine, five days apart from my girlfriends.
That's when I found out that she was actually upset
with my boyfriend because she had to pay for her
own meal during the dinner. She said, he invited us

(20:26):
to your birthday surprise, so he should have paid for
everyone's meal. You guys are already working anyways, Well, I'm studying.
You guys should have the money to spend the audacity
that he didn't spend the money on us.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
Why didn't he pay for us? Men should always pay, Yeah,
And I've always said that I.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
Do agree with that that men should pay on the dates.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
I think that it needs to just be a conversation,
and I've always said that.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
So I'm old school, old school gentleman. My girlfriend's friend
paid for their meal. I took them all out to
this place, and they paid for their own meals, which
I'm very happy for. Thank you, Emma and Julia for
being so great. You guys are also cool.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
Also, it's his birthday and we're gonna go out for
a meal soon, so uh oh, happy birthday surprise. I
was speechless. Technically, we are working, but we just started
working right out of university. We both got a decent
salary above minimum wage, and we just entered adult team,
talking over our phone bills, helping our parents out with
house bills because we still with our respective parents. We

(21:21):
are saving up to get married, et cetera. They are
handling business. She was the only one who had a
problem paying for her own meal. Everyone else were either
like me, who just got a job or like her
on their last semester of UNI. She went on and
on up to me about how a host to a
birthday party like that should pay for everyone's meal, because

(21:43):
that's just how it is. She didn't say any of
this to my boyfriend, though, so in the end, she
did pay for her own meal, but she wasn't happy
about it. Then she said to me, I hope you're
paying for everyone's meal on your birthday's dinner. It's not
nice to invite us and force us to pay for
our own meal when we're celebrating your boyfriend. I didn't
know how to react. I just said, sure, I'll pay.

(22:04):
I was just in shock and was thinking more of
my boyfriend's happiness to see all of his close friends
there to celebrate with him. We had his birthday dinner
with a few close friends because I couldna pay for
more than eight people.

Speaker 3 (22:15):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
He was surprised and at a wonderful time and was
so appreciative. Fast forward to this year, We're getting close
to my birthday, so I told my boyfriend what had
happened last year about this whole who should be paying thing.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
He was kind of hurt.

Speaker 1 (22:28):
What my best friend said and told me he didn't
know how it was supposed to be and he felt
really crappy about not being able to pay for everyone.
I told him I don't expect that from him for everyone,
because we aren't rich yet to be able to do so.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
No, that's not a thing. You don't go to a
birthday dinner and just expecting everything to be paid for
you because it's not your birthday. Like what.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
I had a freaking brunch on my birthday last year
and I had to pay for my own brunch.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
And that's the world of being an adult. Baby. Ain't
nobody gonna pay for your birthday brunch but you unless
you you know.

Speaker 1 (23:01):
Yeah, they were okay, friends, I said. Because of this,
I just want the two of us for my birthday
dinner this year. No friends, so you won't have to
pay for everyone, just.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
You and me. He agree, and that was that.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
A week later, my best friend texted my boyfriend to
ask what his friends are for my birthday this year.
He told her my wishes, but she was not having
it and insisted that she wanted to be a part
of the birthday and celebrate together.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
He told her that I was.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
The one who wanted just the two of us dinner,
and she said that was very boring of us. She
was hurt by this. I feel bad. I love her,
we've been friends since we were sixteen. But also, it's
my birthday. Don't I get to say on how I
want to spend it? So am I the a hole
for not wanting her at my birthday party? Or is
my boyfriend the a hole for not paying for everyone's meal?
We have an edit. I'm going to read the edit

(23:44):
real quork edit. Thank you for everyone commenting your thoughts
and suggestions. Here's a little update. My boyfriend did clarify
to everyone that they were paying for their own meal
and drinks while he pays for his own and mind
my birthday dinner happened, oh boy, so he clarified. He
went back and said, Hey, this is what's gonna happen.
Everyone's gonna pay for their meal. He communicated clearly. I
think that's fair.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
I mean, I think it's ridiculous for like grown adults
to not even just well, she's a stood in Uni. Okay,
never mind, that actually makes a lot more sense now.
She was last year, but I don't think she's this year. No,
but It's like it's still at the age where like
people could realistically be.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
Like, well, I mean, dude, even in college, I would
never ask my friends.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
To do that. Can you assume someone's gonna pay for
all your stuff because you're gonna go to their birthday dinner?

Speaker 1 (24:27):
I'm assuming this is just a hot girl and she's like,
I think everyone should.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
Pay for me. Whoever thought that clearly is very entitled.
Also hate me in the camelments. Hate me. I'm ready
for it, Come and find me. I don't even know
how people get hate you for that. It's like they're
clearly entitled as hell. You'd be surprised.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
Update alrighty, so my now twenty three female because new
year boyfriend twenty three female is taking me out for
my birthday again this year. Well, there were some complications
with that transport. He could have picked me up because
reasons I'm too lazy to explain. Tony me could take
a grab. It's like uber, but he doesn't. I like
that idea because I'm not used to it since I
always drive everywhere. I couldn't drive because my car was

(25:05):
in the workshop. So he told me that tomorrow my
best friend twenty three female is picking me up and
in sending me to the restaurant, and she was passing
by in that area on her way to her aunt's place. Now,
I know what y'all are thinking, but sometimes I'm naive
and didn't think much of things. I genuinely thought it
was just gonna be a drop off. This is a surprise
birthday that's happening. The day arives, she hasn't told me

(25:25):
she's picking me up, and I'm like, okay, I'll get
ready by eight pm just the case. I was getting
ready and she calls me at six pm, sobbing because
she had a fight with her boyfriend twenty four mail.
I listened to comfort her, and while we talked, I
was still doing my makeup. The sobbing ends, and she
still hasn't told me she's picking me up. So I asked,
by the way, are you picking me up? My boyfriend
said you are? She was, oh, yeah, I am forgot

(25:46):
to let you know. Let me get ready. Now it's
now seven pm.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
I'm ready.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
She comes at seven fifteen. I get in her car
and she is in a screaming match.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
With her boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
The call ends and she says he wants to see
me should I me. Not knowing him to say, I said,
I don't know what could happen if you don't. But
in my head I was like, man, can you do
this after you drop me off? She stays silent. Her
boyfriend keeps calling, she keeps dodging his calls, and I'm like,
question mark. We reach a fork in the road, left,

(26:15):
continue on her journey to drop me off. Go to
her boyfriend's place. Y'all guess where we're We went right,
I was like, smiling, I'm fine, I'm fine. Anyway, she
goes to see your boyfriend is seven thirty. They talk
at his porch. It's now seven fifty five pm. Going
to drop her off. She's at her boyfriend's doing this.
I got out of the car and said, so, are
y'all done? Because I got somewhere to be. Can y'all

(26:36):
just take a grab if y'all want to continue? Her
boyfriend said they're done. I sat back in the car
waited for her to drive off. I wrap at my dinner.
It's now eight twenty pm. I see my boyfriend with
the biggest, guiltiest smile ever, and my closest friends beside
him smiling and shouted surprise. I didn't expect that, but
I thought I was really happy for a second, and
then I thought, man, that means my best friend is

(26:57):
probably gonna be here too. I sat down and ask
my friends what time did you guys arrive? They said,
we were here since seven pm. When I tell you,
I became so infuriated. That meant my best friend picked
me up when we were already late and had the
audacity to see her boyfriend to reconcile their relationship, to

(27:18):
make things worth Her boyfriend also knew about my surprise
birthday dinner.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
They both knew.

Speaker 1 (27:23):
But you know, you can join us live every weekday
at three PMPSD just tamper profile.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
We got a little bit more. What the I think.
What no one's really I'm talking about or realizing right now,
is that she's actually the main character. Yes, they actually
both are the main characters, which is why very selfishly
just like ruined the surprise dinner and made everybody wait
an hour and a half for them, because their problems
are more important than everyone else. Of course, oh my gosh,

(27:47):
their problems are bigger than everyone's else. He forgot, you
all forgot. But we're all just side characters in their story.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
Dude, that is so yeah, so I would know contact
after that.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
Oh no, that's getting cut out of the friend group
stuff where it's like if you're willing to just like
do that and like literally inconvenience every single person, zero consideration,
where you could just have that conversation at any other point, Yes,
right after drop off, go have the conversation, any other
time you could have had that conversation. Just selfishness.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
I shoved the anger towards my BFF during dinner and
enjoyed the time I had with my other friends and boyfriend.
I had a good time. And since my boyfriend and
I got an increment from performing well at work last year,
he could afford to pay for everyone's meal at this time.
He did it willingly, or that's what he told me.
So BFF shut up about that. BFF and her boyfriend

(28:36):
did apologize to me for possibly ruining my birthday surprise,
but I'm ignoring their messages from now because I'm too
angry to reply. I would cool down before I replied
to tell them nicely that they did partially ruin my day.
Just send this and all the other relevant comments. Do this,
But that's the end story.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
Good job on you realizing I shouldn't send this right now.
I'll wait cuz sometimes you send things in the moment.
They get a little hot, they get a little heated,
they're a little spicy, very spicy. You might want to
not hit them with the Cayam pepper right off the bat.

Speaker 1 (29:06):
Yep, saw them up with some garlic.

Speaker 2 (29:08):
Yeah, good on you for realizing you need to take
some time. But yeah, sorry that happened. Yeah those Sorry,
he had so many snaffoos with that person. But I'm
glad that they're no longer a part of your life,
or I hope they're not. And that is it. My
brother and I have always fought, but now his reactions
are so extreme that I'm worried about him.

Speaker 3 (29:26):
I was gonna take something. Really, There's like nothing witty
there that was just like, that's a serious We.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Are all worried. Me Male twenty three and my brother
mal twenty have been fighting for as long as I
can remember, but I'm starting to worry about his situation.
I believe he's going crazy. By the way, This comes
from user Historical Industry seventy seven on the r slash
Okay storytime subreddit. So context, my brother neither works nor studies.

(29:50):
He completed his high school's final year online by choice,
saying he would study for the university entrance exam, but
he didn't. Instead, he just played online games all day
and night. Up until this year, that's all he did.
Now he just browses YouTube all day as far as
I know. Here are the latest three instances since I
returned to the country. Instance one, I came back from

(30:13):
my six month exchange program abroad. We spent two weeks
together as a family on holiday, and nothing bad happened.
On the way back home, my brother constantly harassed and
humiliated my mom because she didn't know how to control
her new car's smart panel, like the radio and all
that thing. You know, it's not if you used a car.
It's just like a new car and there's a lot

(30:33):
of technology with it. For the first time, I said, quote,
how can you speak to your mother like that? He
then went silent for one to two hours. Later, my
mom tried to figure out the radio again, and this
time my brother got even more furious. My mom couldn't
understand his instructions because she's not good with electronics, and

(30:53):
my brother being someone chronically online, gave commands that were
impossible for her to follow. The only thing I said
was your instructions are bad stures and pointing at me
like he was possessed, he punched his side of the
window full force. Thankfully nothing broke, and went even crazier
in his seat. The first thing my father did he

(31:16):
was driving the car was pull over and tell my
brother he could drive the car. This is how my
father's brain works. He gives candy to the crying baby.
More context. Every time my brother acts out, my parents
reward or enable his behavior to calm him down or
avoid dealing with the problem. They live their lives quietly
in a house where three people never leave their designated rooms.

(31:38):
Even then, my brother insults all of us as a family,
despite my parents enabling his lifestyle. Instance number two. After
a period of no contact between me and my brother,
even though we live in the same house, I felt
bad and decided to cheer him up. I told him
I found a server for an old MMO we used
to play as kids and asked if he wanted to play.

(32:01):
He said okay, and we spent some good time together,
acting like he hadn't behaved like he was possessed in
the car. In the game, he constantly tried to scam
or take advantage of people who were helping us because
we were newbies. He called them the r slur context.
I called my brother this countless times growing up, including

(32:21):
in our last fight, so I am partly to blame
for this. I got bored and quit playing the game,
but my brother kept playing. He progressed a lot further
and started joining player versus player lobbies. After a while,
he came to me and said he quit too. I
asked why, since he seemed to enjoy the game so much,
and he told me that his groups started kicking him

(32:41):
out because of his behavior towards other players.

Speaker 3 (32:44):
Oh, I wonder why he's toxic?

Speaker 2 (32:46):
Yeah hello, I said whatever, and we moved on to
playing League of Legends as a duo.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
That's not good.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
Picked a more toxic game to play.

Speaker 3 (32:56):
Not the best choice. You knew that was gonna be
a bad time.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
Let's keep going.

Speaker 3 (33:01):
I don't want to keep going.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
Let's ask League of Legends immediately.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
I like, how we get legal Legends bought up a lot.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
My brother was a very high ranked player before he
stopped gaming this year. Think like top zero point one percent.
We were playing together and it was supposed to be
just two brothers playing for fun, but he started dying
in a ranked game and falling behind. I told him
it was okay and we could still play together and

(33:28):
have fun and win. Instead, he acted like a mad dog,
breaking loose in the chat and arguing with teammates. His
insults shifted from you suck to a little more intense,
like you have no life and you're an animal. That's
when I started believing my brother has low self esteem
and projects it onto others.

Speaker 3 (33:47):
Oh, you don't say.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
We were kind of on that track a little earlier.
Let's continue instance number three. I was about to leave
the house to go to the gym when my mom
called me to help her connect an Ethernet cable to
her wall mounted TV. She couldn't find the port. I
checked it and couldn't find it either. I suggested using
my brother's Ethernet to USB adapter, which should work. She

(34:09):
called my brother, and as I stood by the door
ready to leave, my brother asked me to help take
the TV off the wall because he believed there was
an Ethernet port behind him. I told him I didn't
want to both verbally and physically. Because I was about
to leave for a kickboxing class, he insisted. I cussed
at him, he cussed at me, and eventually we laid
the TV flat and it turned out there was indeed

(34:31):
an ethernet port. My brother was right okay. He jumped
with joy, but quickly turned angry. Within seconds, he was screaming,
cussing at me and my mom, acting possessed. He screamed
his lungs out and then stormed off to his room.
We had no contact for three days.

Speaker 3 (34:47):
I would have taken your brother to kickboxing class. I
think he's got some energy that he just needs to get.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
He might need to release.

Speaker 3 (34:53):
He need to release that in.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
But it's like, to me, it sounds like the wires
are getting cross where. It's like it should have just
been a moment of like, hoh, see I was and
then it turned like, see I was right. Why didn't
you believe me? Yeah, it's like something there. There is
a therapy.

Speaker 3 (35:08):
The therapy would deeply help, for sure, therapy, but also
exhuberate that energy into something positive.

Speaker 2 (35:16):
Oh yeah, you need a hobby. You need discal activity.
That's not something out of the house sitting and playing
games are like screaming.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
At people, being toxic. Just like just going to the gym,
go for a run, going for a run. It starts small,
It starts begins with small things. So trust me, it
helps that mental state so much. It makes you feel
so much better.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
Indeed, now today I got injured at work, went to
the hospital and decided it was all stupid. I went
to my brother's cave to apologize for my behavior. Never
once in our fights has he apologized first. He doesn't
even apologize back when we both act stupid. I apologized.
His eyes turned red within seconds, and he told me
that all of us, the whole family, are dead to him.

Speaker 3 (35:57):
Why after an apology like, hey, I'm I'm sorry, what
how things went? And then he blew up again, complete.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
And total emotional dysregulation. I think you're worries about your
brother are not in value. No, I think your concern
is well placed. And you know, like I said, I'm
not a psychologist. I'm not a psychiatrist. I can't make
any calls, but I can also I can make the
judgment call that therapy would generally be a positive impact needed.

(36:26):
He said these terrible things while eating his online ordered
food and watching YouTube for more context. For years, after
every fight, my brother refuses to eat anything my mom
cooks because he knows it makes her sad. Dude, that's
not cool.

Speaker 3 (36:41):
I'm trying to cook you some good food, some homemade meal,
and you deny it because you know it's going to
make her sad. You want to make her feel more work.

Speaker 2 (36:47):
And this is from before, so he's had very intense
negative behavioral loops. She eventually just starts bringing food to
his room, hoping to fix things. And for a while
he stopped this behavior because he had no income and
online orders we're expensive. But now my dad funds his lifestyle.

Speaker 3 (37:04):
The parents are supporting it rather than fixing.

Speaker 2 (37:07):
Hard work is ahead for this guy for.

Speaker 3 (37:09):
The family, sure, but it's going to take for the brother.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
It's going to be hard work for the whole family this.
It's going to require the whole family being a part
of this.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
The most work is going to be Opie's brother.

Speaker 2 (37:20):
Yeah, yeah, of course, but you know it's not really
hard work. What's that you joining us when we go
live every weekday at three pm PST on Facebook, YouTube, Twitch, TikTok.
I feel like I changed the order every time all
you gotta do is tap our profile, stop it and you're.

Speaker 3 (37:36):
In you know what, we might even be live right now,
but don't check that out just yet. We're going to
make sure that we have some resolution or we at
least have a follow up on Opie's brother. A little
bit story left here, but I think we said our piece.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
Yeah he needs help. Your brother needs helps or perfect
age range of like where things start to develop and
you know, exacerbated, like things that may have been there
for you know, a handful of years through the you know,
mid early or late teens are now blossoming into like
full blown mental issues slash disorders.

Speaker 3 (38:06):
It's taking it out on everyone, and it's draining everyone.
It's making everyone miserable. And again you're seeing that Opie, It's.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
Time to stop it.

Speaker 3 (38:13):
At least pump that breaks before he gets more out
of hand. He's got a lot of pens up energy,
Like I said, therapy, some exercise or at least some
hobby like yoga, something that just takes that anger and
puts it into something positive.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
Let's finish this off. I don't know what to do.
Sometimes I think about cutting off contact with my brother
and family for real, Unlike my brother is empty threats.
My parents will enable his behavior as long as they can.
But other times I think that this is all stupid.
No one except me seems willing to admit that they've
done things wrong or acknowledge that there's a problem that

(38:45):
needs addressing. Has anyone experienced something similar? I'd appreciate your
thoughts and advice. And that is the end of the story.
When he's going low, you gotta go high. In this situation,
you gotta move with love. I mean, based on his behavior,
he doesn't deserve it. But but if you are in
the mind state of I want to help him, and
that's what you gotta do.

Speaker 3 (39:05):
Is not just helping the brother, it's helping the mom.
He's helping the dad. He helps helping family, the whole
family as just the whole so as the oldest. This
is where you stand up. Either you let go, you
run away, or you'd pick up up the work and
you just put in a lot of effort.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
Maybe approach the parents first to try to get them,
you know, to see the severity of the situation.

Speaker 3 (39:24):
Well, that's the end that story, guys.

Speaker 2 (39:26):
The expense is for my best friend's wedding. Keep piling up.
I don't think I'll be able to pay them.

Speaker 3 (39:31):
Why are you paying for this wedding?

Speaker 2 (39:33):
Good point. Let's find out. So I, thirty two male,
have this ex friend thirty one female that I met
years ago. Let's call her Rita. We met in childhood,
although we grew closer about five or six years ago
as adults after not having any contact for years, our
paths just happened to cross again later in life. I
also have another bestie, let's call them Cleo twenty nine,

(39:53):
non binary. We ended up moving to the same city,
and Rita and Cleo became close friends too. We had
our little friend group. We shared all our happy times
and hardships. We come from the same country but moved
away as adults. There's a lot that we worked through,
traumatic experiences, the pandemic, the loss of loved ones, sicknesses, unemployment, everything.

(40:15):
I was quite sure our friendship is strong and would
last for decades, if not forever, But I was so wrong. Wrong.
By the way. This comes from user low key miso
Maniac on the r slash Okay storytime subrenden. So Rita
got engaged and told Cleo and I that she will
be getting married in summer of twenty twenty four. Cleo

(40:36):
and I knew this would be a challenge because of
all the expenses and organizational tasks that come with a wedding,
as well as the bride's expectations. It was supposed to
be a three day wedding in our homeland. The groom's
family is from another country, so we were all supposed
to travel to a secluded village to take part in
the celebrations. Cleo and I were engaged in many things
from the beginning. I also said I am happy to

(40:58):
help decorate the venue and try earlier to set things up.
I was also asked to help with some administrative tasks,
which I happily agreed to. All of this was to
help save money. My thing is I don't like weddings,
but Rita was like my little sister, and I wanted
to support her, especially given that her mom passed away
a few years ago, so did one of her siblings,

(41:20):
and I knew the three of us were like family.

Speaker 3 (41:22):
Okay that's rough.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
Yeah, well, I mean good call being there for her.
But it started to get more and more intense in
terms of financial and emotional contribution expected from us. We
were supposed to go to a different city for dress
adjustments and cover accommodation costs. Why do you need to
go to a different city for that seems extra?

Speaker 3 (41:41):
Maybe that's the hot spot.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
I think that's what he's talking about. We helped choose
clothes for the groom. We were supposed to participate in
a bachelorette trip that was supposed to be a surprise
for Rita. Although she explicitly stated she wants to go
to a place with sun, beach and a pool, she
also told us as her closest friends who she wanted
to come to therette, so it's not really a secret.
She was the one managing the entire thing. We were

(42:03):
expected to cover all of the participation costs for ourselves
and for Rita. We started organizing the trip and the
travel and accommodation cost was about four hundred dollars per person.
At least. Rita didn't expect us to order tailored suits
that we would also be expected to fully pay for.
Around that time, Rita sent Cleo and I a message

(42:24):
that there is a room prepared for us and our
partners at the wedding venue and told us the cost
in case we did not intend to stay at the
wedding venue. There was a hotel fifteen miles away from
there that we could book ourselves. The transportation to the
wedding venue that was initially meant to be a rented
bus to bring wedding guests from the closest big city
to the village, which we were supposed to pay about

(42:45):
thirty dollars per person, was canceled and Rita told us, quote,
there are affordable ways to rent a car. Well, let
me tell ya that it is not affordable for everyone,
and it's apparently approximately ten times more expensive than the
bus ticket, which, if my math is right, that's three
hundred bucks.

Speaker 3 (43:01):
That's not thirty dollars.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
Yeah, the math ain't math in on that though. Not
everyone has a driver's license, and some rental services refused
to rent a car if you go to another country.
I know because I had to deal with it last year.
At that time, I was dealing with serious health issues,
had to undergo extensive surgery, went through a cancer scare,
and got my job contract expired. Needless to say, I

(43:24):
was rock bottom and struggled to even pay my rent.
Around that time, Rita's father unexpectedly passed away we both
found ourselves in very vulnerable positions and could not support
each other the way we would have liked to. Cleo
was also facing possible job loss and financial hardships and
had a hand surgery.

Speaker 3 (43:41):
Everyone's going through it right now. Mercury was a gatorade
or something. What is going on here? You gotta go
down so everything can go up. I'm sorry for everyone
in this story.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
This sucks. The moment Rita started pressing us about the
wedding trip accommodation, which we discussed before, and we both
said we will be staying at the wedding venue with
our partners, something broke in me and I said in
our group chat that given the amount of support we
offer and the expenses we were expected to cover to
merely participate in the wedding, I felt exploited. Dang, that

(44:11):
takes a lot of courage dropping that in the group chat.

Speaker 3 (44:13):
Let's see how that's gonna make everyone else respond.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
I felt like certain things in communication about the overall
cost was not fully transparent from the beginning, and that
there was little understanding on Rita's part that this is
in fact a lot of money that we don't have.
This triggered something in Rita and she sent multiple paragraphs
saying how ungrateful we are that she regrets thinking of
us as her family and went no contact.

Speaker 3 (44:37):
This is rough.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
I'm rolling my eyes though, dude, Like, straight up, you're
organizing an international wedding. You're having all of your friends
organize it, pay for it, make it happen. I don't
know if that's just how things roll where you're from, but.

Speaker 3 (44:53):
It doesn't work.

Speaker 2 (44:54):
That's not how that works.

Speaker 3 (44:56):
Plus here at least a plus on top of that.
I mean, it depends depends a wedding and who agreed
and what no.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
I feel like the you know, the bride and the
groom are expected, Like if you're doing a bachelorette party,
how much of the expenses are expected to be covered
by like the bride.

Speaker 3 (45:10):
It depends on who. Like if the bride said, hey,
if everyone's going to chip this in, great, but like
that is coming from the person who is planning the party,
you know, the bachelor, the wedding. If it's all communicated
from the very get go, and that's a very understanded,
that's okay. But if you're expecting people to be paying
more money when it wasn't expected that's not okay. It
just depends on how it was communicated.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
The one thing, it seems like she went way overboard
in terms of oh yeah, well response, Well guess what.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
Here's the thing. Everyone is going through it, and she
is in a mixed bag of emotions right now. It's
true she just lost her father. Everyone's going through it,
so it's not fair for her to be a point
of the finger. But she's also just in a completely
vulnerable state. So I don't know.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
Well, let's find out.

Speaker 3 (45:51):
I would posted on the wedding with just everything going on,
like personally.

Speaker 2 (45:54):
Let's see what happens. These words were meant to hurt us.
I did not expect this to escalate so much. That
was already a few months ago after the initial blowout,
I twice sent her a message saying that I'd be
willing to meet in person to discuss everything, so that
we are not communicating in text where details and tone
get lost or misinterpreted. I never got an answer. I
know now that she was basically going through a meltdown

(46:17):
due to lack of communication. Cleo and I decided to
not go to the bachelorette trip, although we already paid
for our flight tickets and couldn't cancel them. We had
a heated discussion with other bachelorette participants, which was very
unpleasant and difficult. The main organizing person booked a huge
villa without the possibility to change or cancel the reservation.
I just could not imagine going to a trip where

(46:38):
the person we were supposed to celebrate does not want
to talk to me. According to our mutual friend, shortly after,
Rita contacted Cleo and I and we met in person.
The whole meeting, she barely looked at me, mostly talking
to Cleo. It was a difficult conversation. Rita couldn't answer
my question if she even wanted Cleo and I to
come to the bachelorette or the wedding. She said that

(46:59):
we knew about the wedding for over a year and
could have saved money, and that she wanted us to
support her in making her dream come true without making objections,
and that she found it ridiculous that we're arguing over
a month.

Speaker 3 (47:10):
I don't like that. That's not fair.

Speaker 2 (47:13):
That is entirely self centered, and your perspective is so
narrow you can't see past right here.

Speaker 3 (47:19):
All I'm hearing is me, me, Me, me, me.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
That you guys could have saved. Did you say anything
at all that implied they should be saving because the
wedding was going to cost them?

Speaker 3 (47:27):
Like a thousand plus? My wedding was coming up, so
you should have saved for it.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
Four hundred dollars, you know, accommodations, three hundred dollars, rental cars,
you know, paying for all the dresses, paying for the clothes.

Speaker 3 (47:40):
Like but again, you knew about the wedding. You knew
about the wedding. You should have known. No it again,
things happen flipped back onto you.

Speaker 2 (47:46):
You knew about your wedding, So if you knew it
was going to be this expensive, you should let people
know that. Out of one hundred guests, Cleo and I
were the only ones to complain about the wedding and
the cost and the emotional distress. That we could have
told her about our financial issues, which we did that Usually,
if a wedding is happening elsewhere, the guests cover all
the costs. No, all, right, then I'm gonna have my

(48:07):
wedding in Fiji. I hope everyone else is willing to
pay for everything for me.

Speaker 3 (48:12):
Sorry, brother, I ain't paying for that.

Speaker 2 (48:13):
Yeah, of course not, that'd be ridiculous. That's when she
decided to cover the costs of all meals for our partners.
At first, we were supposed to pay for it. We
did not even appreciate her generosity that she did not
know how much we were supposed to pay for the
bachelorette since it's a surprise and she did not organize it. True,
but she did specify what she wanted, or that we
could have organized something cheaper and easier and she would

(48:36):
have been happy anyways, which is not true because she
explicitly said that she wants to go away to the beach,
to the sand, to the sun, to the pool, like
you wanted a resort get away.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
I mean, yeah again, at the end of the day,
your wedding, your choice. You just got to make sure
you understand everyone's footing in this.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
She goes on Tuesday that we could have said in
the bachelorette group chat that our budget. We did, and
the budget ended up being almost double what we said
it should be. Rita said she is warning our friendship
and that she felt like she already made a decision
to end it. I want to add that Rita and
myself never had a major fallout, and I thought that
we would have been able to work this out. I

(49:14):
absolutely don't want to take away from what she's been
through over the past months, but I'm also learning to
set boundaries, and this time, as so many times in
my life, I got punished for doing so. A few
weeks ago, Rita was celebrating her birthday. I sent her
an honest and heartfelt message apologizing for hurting her, explaining
that it was never my intention to contribute to her pain,

(49:35):
but that I also felt hurt and that I would
be open to meeting with her in person if she
ever had the capacity to do so, but that I
will not press it on to her and respect her decision.
She said thank you. Two weeks later, my birthday came
and I only got a very generic, somewhat cordial message
from Rita. We didn't attend the bachelorette. Out of twelve
people who were supposed to go, only Rita and three

(49:57):
other friends went to spend a weekend in a villa
for fifteen people that we all paid for. If you
already paid for it, I'm going, I would go. I'll
do my own thing.

Speaker 3 (50:09):
That's it. I'm gonna do my own thing.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
Nah, I'm gonna do my own thing. I'd pull a
Miles Morales on that for sure. And by the way,
Miles Morales, if you're listening, you can always join us
when we go live on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch, and TikTok
every weekday at three pm PST. All you gotta do
is tap our profile until you're in the live and
if you're watching this right now, in the future, we

(50:32):
might even be live right now. So once we finish
the story, maybe go check on that.

Speaker 3 (50:36):
But let's find out more. I mean, before we go
and find out more.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
We do have a little bit of story left. But
I think the whole friend group has gone through a
whole lot of trauma in the last handful of you know, months,
so Rita's in a full blown meltdown. I don't necessarily
think Rita needs to you know, cut off. She's making
all these executive decisions.

Speaker 3 (50:53):
The fact that you said I'm already mourning our friendship.

Speaker 2 (50:55):
What you're kind of like it's an escalation intention making
things more dramatic. From my perspective, op is being very reasonable.
And it wasn't like it was immediate. It wasn't like
whoa four hundred dollars woo you think I am like
missed the money bags. It was like the four hundred
dollars and then like the you know, the bus spe
going from thirty bucks to like now it's a three

(51:16):
hundred dollars rental car, and like, you know, they're buying
all the food, and it's like they're expected to handle
all of the costs of the bachelorette party. And it's
like it's wanted to be fancy on the beach there,
you know, and.

Speaker 3 (51:27):
It's just again, here we go. Read's expectations were so
high and again it's your day, great, but you gotta
be reasonable. The fact that you had three out of
fifteen people come to your bacheloulette, that people paid for
that speaks volumes. I think it knew speaks in volume volumes.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
Let's see what we're doing here. All in all, we
were expected to spend at least one thousand dollars to
participate in our friend's wedding, and when we voiced our
feelings and concerns, our friendship of many years just ended.
I understand that people sometimes go no contact after a
big argument, but I feel like this was uncalled for
and that the reaction was blown out of proportion, keeping

(52:06):
in mind what Rita went through and how important the
wedding was for her. I extended my hand three times.
I apologized. I signaled that I'm ready to talk one
on one, and I now know that it's over and
I will probably never hear from her, and I never
got an apology either. I never would have thought we
would end up in a place like this, but here
we are. I sometimes feel like I'm in the wrong

(52:28):
and the feelings are still coming back in waves. Sometimes
I'm mad, other times I'm sad. I also know that
this friendship breakup took an enormous toll on Cleo. If
you read all of that chaotic novel up here, thank you.
And that is the end of that story. My best
friend accidentally saw a spicy pick of my girlfriend. I

(52:49):
think I'm ending our friendship.

Speaker 3 (52:51):
Spicy spicy ooh la la.

Speaker 2 (52:52):
All right, So this is kind of a weird situation,
and I know the logical answer is to cut him off,
but it's really hard for me to do that. He's
my only friend and I'm an awkward guy. Outside of
him and my girl and my family, I have no
other friends. By the way, this comes from user certain
cut three one three on the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

(53:14):
So so this all started a little over two months ago.
Me and my friend were chilling and I was showing
him some stuff on my phone. We were going through
my camera role because I wanted to show him something
and it was in my hidden folder. I opened it
without thinking, and a bunch of pictures that me and
my girlfriend took together when we were bored popped up instead.
They were months old and I forgot they were there.

(53:36):
Otherwise I wouldn't have opened the folder either way. He
saw it for a split second, and I quickly moved
the phone away, laughing and saying sorry about that. And
to all those watching, let this be a lesson, be
aware of your camera role, be aware of what is
on your phone. This is one hundred percent OPC. Literally
what like lay look? Oh wait? Oh totally? That only
that My bad. Either way, he saw it for a

(53:57):
split second and I quickly moved the phone out of
the way, laughing and saying sorry about that. He asked
what was that, and I just said, my girl likes
to take spicy picks with me because she finds them hot.
I don't know, nothing too explicit, but they were definitely
for my eyes only. He asked to see and I
said no. He was like, oh, come on, man, don't
be like that. I laughed it off and told him

(54:19):
to drop it. He did at that moment until he
saw my girlfriend in person and wrapped an arm around
her when we said hello. Obviously, she was confused and
pushed him off, asking what his problem was. He laughed
and said nothing, but he was blatantly staring at her chest.
She shrugged it off, but it just pissed me off.

(54:41):
I told him to knock it off and he said
he wasn't doing anything. Since then, he always asks to
see something on my phone and normally I just hand
it to him because I have nothing to hide on
my phone. But I found myself not being able to
trust him and asked him what for. He said that
he wants to look at the screenshots of the powerpoints
I took in class. I told him I just air
drop it to him, and he says he doesn't want

(55:03):
them in his camera role and it'll be quick. I
handed it to him and let him take a quick
look at it for a few moments as I went
back to playing my game, but I noticed he was
typing a lot on my phone when he was just
supposed to be looking at pictures. I stood up, pretending
to grab something from my bedside table and saw him
swipe out of the hidden folder after failing to guess

(55:23):
my passcode to unlock it, and then scroll through my
camera roll for the photos. A few seconds later, he said, oh, man,
I can't find him and handed it back to me.
So it's obvious he was trying to unlock my folder
to look at the photos of my girlfriend, and it
just pissed me off. I also want to confront him,
but I don't know what to say. I also suck

(55:45):
at confrontation and it's scary, and like I said before,
he's my only friend and I don't want to piss
him off and make him leave. Well, dude, this is
not a friend you want to have. It's plain and simple.

Speaker 3 (55:54):
Would you rather have one really gross and weird bad
friend or just your girlfriend?

Speaker 2 (55:59):
I think that your girlfriend would be upset hearing you
say that you have no friends when you have your girlfriend,
who I would hope you think that's.

Speaker 3 (56:06):
Your best friend?

Speaker 2 (56:06):
My friend? Yeah, anyway, my girlfriend doesn't know he saw
a glimpse of the photos, but I reckon she doesn't care,
because she told me once she showed her friends the
spicy content because she thought it was hot and wanted
to show show off whatever. I don't know what she
showed them, but it doesn't bother me. My friend trying
so hard to get a look at them does bother me.

Speaker 3 (56:28):
Though I don't like what the girlfriend did. I don't
know if she asked for consent. She's like, I showed
spicy videos. I don't care, and I know he doesn't care,
but like that's one thing.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
I'm like, Yeah, that is something if you're gonna show
stuff like that, consent, especially to like mutuals, Like if
those friends that you have are friends that OP knows, Yeah,
that's weird. You should make sure that he's crystal clear.

Speaker 3 (56:47):
Okay, put a little like flag up on that one.
If she asked her consent and he said, okay, that's fine.

Speaker 2 (56:52):
We do have an update, so let's get into it.
So I went to see my girlfriend before she finished
her shift, and while I was walking her home, I
told her about the higher incident. I told her how
we accidentally saw one of the photos we took all
those months ago and told her how he's been really
weird about wanting to see more. She said he was
being weirder than usual, but never would have guessed that.

(57:12):
She wasn't mad at me and understood that it was
all an accident, which was good. I was scared she
would think I showed him on purpose and get mad
at me, but the opposite happened. I also asked her
if he had been weird to her behind my back,
or if he said or did anything to make her uncomfortable.
She said not that she can think of, and I
mentioned the time I saw him staring at her chest

(57:32):
in my old post, and she said she even she
barely even noticed. She just always found him annoying, and
she's glad that I'm starting to see the same thing.
Guess I was just blind to his weirdness. I told
her I'm cutting him off, and she said she'll support
me all the way, which is good and really quick.
Just to clarify, there's nothing wrong with being weird. This
particular brand of uncomfortable behavior gross, this weird not really acceptable.

Speaker 3 (57:57):
Yeah, it's the gross weird.

Speaker 2 (57:59):
As a weird guy, I have plenty of friends.

Speaker 3 (58:01):
As an awkward guy. I have plenty of friends, but
this goes past weird. It's just gross. It's gross the
fact that he's so he's pushing. He's pushing, like I
just want to look at it. I just want to
keep looking at it. Dude, stop, let it go.

Speaker 2 (58:11):
Dude, better yet, get your own girlfriend. I haven't spoken
to him yet. Quite frankly, I'm a bit scared because
I'm about to cut off a half a decade long friendship,
so I just need a bit of time to process it.
But I haven't spoken to him in a few days.
He has no access to my girlfriend. We don't live together,
so there's no reason for him to like show up
at her house or anything. He sent me a text

(58:32):
like three days ago, and I haven't responded. I don't
know if I should just block him or talk to
him in person. My girlfriend says that she wants to
scream at him for being a weirdo, but I don't
want him getting in her face if something happens, so
I told her I'll be doing it when we are alone.
I don't want her getting involved. If things get down
to it. Things get down to it, oh, he says,

(58:53):
good by the way you can always get down to
it with us. Every weekday at three pm PST when
we go live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch. Just
tap on our profile and you're in.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
But you know what, we might be live right now,
but don't check that out just yet. We got a
little bit more and then you can go.

Speaker 2 (59:11):
You got just a little bit left either, a little bit.
Younger friendships inevitably tend to come and go. There is
an ebb and flow, and this person, even though you've
been friends with him for five years, is not displaying
the characteristics that one should value in a friend. You know,
he's not respecting your girlfriend, he's not respecting your boundaries,

(59:33):
he's not really even respecting you. He's got no respect
for you. And who's to say? You know, you can
cut him off real, you know, be mature about it,
don't go off the handle, Just be like, look, man,
your behavior is unacceptable to me, and I don't think
we should be spending time together right now. And y'all
will drift apart, but you never know what the future holds.
He could take grey change and get you as a person,

(59:54):
and then y'all would be friends again.

Speaker 3 (59:56):
I think maybe if you guys have a conversation and
he apologizes and he stops the your grossness stuff and
apologizes to your girlfriend like, hey, I'm sorry, Like I'm
you know, I acted it that way. People grow up,
people mature. But again, if you're still continuing the grossness,
then yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
A second thought on what you just said, you're this
is you're really the only friend that you've had. There
are plenty of people out there who will be your friend. Man.
I know it, it's hard to make friends because it's scary,
like you said, but like everybody's scared, I think it's
easier once you realize that literally everybody out there is
scared of the exact same thing, which is like talking
to a stranger and trying to make new friends and

(01:00:31):
putting yourself out there. Pretty much everybody is uncomfortable in
that scenario.

Speaker 3 (01:00:35):
You go's your girlfriend and she has friends, and they
may have friends, and guess what, it just branches out.
It just they have friends. They could be your friends,
or you know, it just keeps going.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
Find a hobby that you enjoy. You know, I personally
love pickleball, and the pickleball community is fantastic. It's a
great way to meet new people and make friends.

Speaker 3 (01:00:51):
I love baseball and sports and video games.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
Look at that, we've known each other for ten years, folks,
it's beautiful. Let's finish this story. I also plan on
going to therapy to get some more confidence, because some
people in the comments were saying that I need to
work on my confidence and issues on being alone, and
I know that it's true. I've been holding back from
doing so for many years. But I want to make
things work with my girlfriend and I want to become

(01:01:15):
a better man for her. So if something like this
happens in the future, then I'll be quicker to act
rather than prolonging it. Yeah. I didn't even think about that.
But therapy, just a general note, therapy is helpful for
like pretty much everyone who does it if you've got
a good therapist that you connect with. Once again, thank
you for the advice. It was so obvious in hindsight,
but I was holding back a lot and I regret

(01:01:36):
it so much. And that is the end of that story.

Speaker 3 (01:01:40):
Okay. I have a couple end notes there. One to
everyone out there and to Opie. You got to know
what you're showing with your photos.

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
For God's sakes, be aware of what's on your camera
role and.

Speaker 3 (01:01:50):
Then two accidents happen. That's okay. Sometimes you show your
photo role and yeah oops, oopsies if you're gross, don't
be gross.

Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
You wouldn't let it go. It's just great and incessant
and not cool, not okay. You know, the reality is
is that a lot of adults have adult pictures.

Speaker 3 (01:02:06):
Yeah, with your adults.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
Yeah, you know, it didn't start with the smartphone. That's
been going on for a long long time. Like I'm
pretty sure there's like like little naked paintings in like
cave paintings. Again, spicy picks have been going around for
a long time. Just know, if you're about to show
your friend you're hidden folder.

Speaker 3 (01:02:25):
You just be wary of what you're doing too. You
can make friends, friendships and what you can make new ones.
Don't be afraid. And I know it's like that's a
confidence thing.

Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
Go to therapy and maybe you know the therapy can
help you work on your confidence.