My friend’s fiancé made the wedding planning too stressful… so I’m stepping down! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2181 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dearest John, It's been a fortnight since I felt your
warm embrace.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay
Storytell podcast.

Speaker 3 (00:07):
Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious
story that I think you'll love. Sincerely Sam.

Speaker 4 (00:13):
But before that, thine, divine two minute outbreak must happen,
I bid thee farewell.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
See you in two minutes.

Speaker 5 (00:19):
My friend's fiance made the wedding planning unbearable, so I'm
stepping down.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
They can't have you if they don't treat you right.

Speaker 5 (00:27):
A former colleague who I'm friendly with but not super
close to, asked me to be one of her two
maids of honor. We've only met around twenty times in
two and a half years, so I was surprised but
flattered and saw it as a chance to grow our friendship.
Since then, she started calling me her best friend, which
feels premature and not mutual. By the way, this comes
from Evaca, do Doovka do evaka, and if you one

(00:50):
has made your own stores, go to the ours lash
Okay star Time subreddit. So I've met her fiance a
few times and frankly, we don't get along. He gossips
comes off secure and has been rude to me and others.
He also micro manages everything. As maid of honors, we're
organizing three events, a bachelorette, the civil wedding will follow

(01:12):
this year, and the religious one in twenty twenty six.
The bride initially said that she wanted a low key
bachelorette focused on quality time.

Speaker 3 (01:20):
We kept that in mind.

Speaker 5 (01:22):
Then her fiance began making specific demands private bed and
bath for the bride, enough breaks between activities, et cetera.
We adjusted our plans accordingly. Now, two weeks out from
the bachelorette, he demanded our full itinerary, said it wasn't
good enough and told us to start over.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
He aggressively messaged.

Speaker 5 (01:41):
The other maid of honor, said that we were denying
the bride the weekend she deserves, and insulted one of
the girls in the group, calling her a dumb witch.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
Oh my gosh. What When we explained we were.

Speaker 5 (01:55):
Keeping costs reasonable at the bride's request, he dismissed our concerns,
saying others' financial situations weren't his problem. Keep in mind
that this man is not working, not earning a living,
not paying for anything, and especially not their wedding. The
irony we were rendered him that both of the maid
of honors were chosen to plan this and he should

(02:17):
trust us. He refused, and he implied that we are
failing as her best friends. I am not excluding the
possibility of him doing this and the bride giving him
hints or instructions in the background because she is not
comfortable with confrontation or saying her mind. I am burned out.
I don't even know why I was chosen in the

(02:37):
first place. I want to support the bride, but I
can't tolerate this level of disrespect. Neither do I want
to help plan another two bridal events in such a
tense atmosphere. What those two bridal events are we don't know.
We have yet to find out. But I digress. My
plan is to follow through with the bachelorette, then tell

(02:59):
the bride that I'm stepping down as made of honor.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
Ideally I would be uninvited to the wedding, but that
will be up to her. Anyone.

Speaker 5 (03:07):
If anyone has suggestions on how to approach the situation,
please let me know, and there are some relevant comments.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
How would you handle this situation? Though? If the freaking
groom yeah, called some like one of my friends of
freaking be Yeah. I'd be like, hey, friend bride, are
you gonna let him talk to us like that? And
then if she said yeah, I'd be like, okay, maybe
be part of the wedding. So yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (03:35):
Like what he's he's saying like, no, you have to
do this better, you have to do this better. This
is not good enough for my coqueen. And then they're like,
so how are we gonna pay for this? He's like,
I don't know, figure it out. It's like, so that's
not gonna happen, and then like that's simply it does
come down to money when you're planning things like that.
There are some relevant comments. A new Aunty twenty six says,

(03:55):
step down as it makes no sense that a casual
friend like you were made made of all. She could
have invited you as an ordinary bridesmaid, but that still
doesn't make a ton of sense.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
People think that it's such.

Speaker 5 (04:06):
An honor, but your unpaid labor to make sure someone
else enjoys their special day. I think that you are
showing great restraint by not quitting prior to the bachelorette,
but I agree that if you did quit before it
would ruin the event.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
OPI responds to this comment, we used to work together.

Speaker 5 (04:24):
I think she made me made of honor because she
knows that I get crap done and done well. Someone
else in the comment said that she is using me
and that starts to resonate. Just started to resonate. Maybe.

Speaker 3 (04:39):
Mr eight thirty says, I don't mean this bad.

Speaker 5 (04:42):
Leave out you at all, but it's telling that she
asked someone that she doesn't know that well to be
her bridesmaid. I'm wondering if other people said no are
dropped out already because of him.

Speaker 3 (04:53):
I hope that.

Speaker 5 (04:54):
She wises up before she marries him. I'd say that
it's no longer doable for you to be a bride.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
It's made, but.

Speaker 5 (05:00):
You'll come as a guest if she'll have you give
specifics about what he is doing that caused you to
come to this decision, and let her know that you're
here for her if she needs anything. OPI responds, agreed,
it'll be important to be factual as to my decision
and still offer my presents.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
To be frank.

Speaker 5 (05:17):
After all this, I'm not keen on being in his
vicinity and would rather not attend the wedding at all,
but that will be their call whether or not they
decide to keep me as a guest. OCPMS one says,
what other events are you supposed to plan?

Speaker 3 (05:35):
I would love to know. The bride and groom are
supposed to plan their own events, except.

Speaker 5 (05:39):
The bachelorette parties and bachelor parties and bridal shower if
there is one. OPI responds, the bride expects our support
and planning both of the civil and religious weddings, dealing
with the location, sourcing and coordinating vendors, setting up and
taking down de corps, organizing surprises for their babe.

Speaker 3 (06:02):
That's a wedding planner, your babe. People get people, get
paid money for that. You're spending all the money and
you're planning all this and he's on her calm people
b words, girl, this is why she only has casual friends.
Oh my gosh, docks, he.

Speaker 5 (06:18):
Has to plan the whole wedding, dude, that is so
not your responsibility at all.

Speaker 3 (06:25):
Do you not have to do that? You don't have
to do that, don't do it.

Speaker 5 (06:29):
Princea Pessa says, to be honest, I would screenshot the
messages of the groom cursing at you and the other
mother in law.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
Send them to the bride and tell.

Speaker 5 (06:36):
Her that you are stepping down and not even wait
until the bachelorette unless you've already stunk money into it.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
Then I understand waiting.

Speaker 5 (06:43):
Oh, he responds, the money I've already put into it
is not worth my piece. Also, he is coming along
and I can't stomach a multiple hour train ride with him. Umm,
micro Bunny says, Oh, what do you mean he's coming
to the bachelorette party, Like, are they having a dule
bachelor bachelorette party or is he just coming? Ope, he says,

(07:03):
the groom is taking advantage of the situation to visit
a friend in the city that we're going to. We
are traveling together but staying in different accommodations. I don't
put it past him to randomly join the bachelorette though unannounced.
What's the situation with the rest of the bridal party.
The rest of the bridal party is a mixed bag.
There are old colleagues, study friends that she's not close to,

(07:24):
and one is the groom's friend's wife. I can hardly
believe that no one in the group is closer to
her than I am, except for the other maid of honor,
who she's known since childhood and is very close to.
I definitely want to let her know that I am
still there and she can reach out at any time.
I just can't morally support this relationship and this idiot's behavior,

(07:47):
and it's thank you.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
For all the insights. It was helpful to have my
suspicions validated whilst figuring out and exit strategy. It is
Monday morning.

Speaker 5 (07:54):
I've messaged the groom asking him to stop intervening in
the planning and it takes a step back for the
sake of the other made of honor. I've also messaged
the bride asking to meet tomorrow in person and we
have an update. Do we have any thoughts before we
move on? Hey girl, Hey girl.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
I'm doing a lot for you, and it's because I
appreciate our friendship. But I want you to know this
is something I'm doing out of the kindness of my heart.
I'm not being paid to do it. Yeah, and uh,
I can't do all of this stuff on my own budget. Yeah,
weddings are expensive. Weddings are expensive. Yeah, I think we'll

(08:31):
be scandling it. Well, I think so too. You don't
owe her anything. No, you don't know her anything. You
don't have to be doing this. No, we do have
an update.

Speaker 5 (08:40):
So first, thank you all for the feedback, which to comfort,
which comforted me and gave me the confidence I needed
to step down a sap. The morning after posting, I
messaged the groom, asking him to take a step back,
as he has made me and the other made of
honor feel uncomfortable.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
Things escalated.

Speaker 5 (08:57):
He was being very defensive, listing everything that he said
and did, appointing to me being in the wrong instead
of finding a way forward, and eventually apologized for making
me feel uncomfortable.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
I did not respond to his apology.

Speaker 5 (09:11):
In parallel, I messaged the bride and we agreed to
meet the next day. In the meantime, the groom must
have brought it up to the bride, as she texted
me letting me know that she heard things become tense.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
She heard things became tense, and that we don't all
hate each other now.

Speaker 5 (09:28):
I replied that this is the reason that I need
to doc to her. The bride and I met up
yesterday evening. I told her that I was flattered to
have been chosen as made of honor, but in hindsight
I should not have accepted. I explained that the situation
blew out of proportion and her fiance crossed the line.
He exhibited controlling behavior and.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
Was downright disrespectful.

Speaker 5 (09:48):
I shared that I can't be in the bridal party
if I'm not being treated with respect and if I
don't morally support the relationship. I told her that this
is not a breakup per se. I still want to
be friends with her, but that she deserves a maide
of honor who could fully be there for the two
of them. I also mentioned that the ball is now
in her court as to how our friendship moves forward
if she still wants me to be there at the wedding.

(10:11):
Her reaction was so underwhelming. She was smiling through and
saying it's okay. She said that her fiance talked to
her about the situation, mentioning that things escalated.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
According to her, he was pretty shaken up.

Speaker 5 (10:25):
No crap, I bet he forgot to mention that he
instigated all of it. I'm not sure if I expected
her to take accountability for her fiance's actions, but she
did not apologize for what he said. Nothing she seemed
so unfazed when I said he disrespected me. She did
not ask about the things that were said, did not
mention that she would speak with him either.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
This speaks volumes to me.

Speaker 5 (10:49):
I wouldn't want my friends to be disrespected by anyone,
let alone my spouse. She said that she understood my
decision and she sort of expected it because she has
never been in one bachelorette party that didn't end up
in drama. In terms of logistics, she had it all
figured out. She asked me not to cancel any hotel
room because her fiance will officially be joining the bachelorette
party anyway. He was initially supposed to travel with us,

(11:12):
but stay in different accommodations with a friend.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
Because of the heated situation.

Speaker 5 (11:16):
She opened up and said that she doesn't expect the
other maid of honor to even attend the wedding unless
there can be a resolution between her and the groom.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
I was again flabbergasted.

Speaker 5 (11:26):
I would have so many questions if two friends would
have a problem with my spouse at the same time
and would consider not coming to my wedding because of it.
I understand that she is marrying this man and decided
that her marriage takes precedence over the rest.

Speaker 3 (11:39):
Fair enough, but I would.

Speaker 5 (11:41):
Find this suspicious and use it as an opportunity to
dig deeper and get to the bottom of the situation.
I reiterated that I'm there for her, just not in
a maid of honor capacity. We left on good terms,
but I wouldn't be surprised if this marks the end
of a short lived friendship.

Speaker 3 (11:56):
Yeah, I mean it was short and she like terrorized
you for her wedding. Yeah, it doesn't have to be
that long exactly. Don't always have to be forevers Yeah,
especially if this stuff happens.

Speaker 5 (12:11):
I later called to the other maid of honor to
inform her about my decision. Turns out that she has
also been thinking of stepping down. By the way, you
should never step down, never back down away from listening
to us and more full episodes of stories just like
this one. We've got all these episodes on Spotify, I

(12:33):
R Radio, Apple podcasts.

Speaker 3 (12:35):
Wherever you get your freaking podcast Audible, there's one. What else?
I learned that they have podcasts, Yeah, and we're on there.
What we are? I did not know wherever you get
your podcast? Just search?

Speaker 5 (12:50):
Okay, story time and you'll find out for yourselves. Go look,
go double check. I might be wrong.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
I hope you're right, but there is a little bit
more to this story. But yeah, what's going on with
this girl?

Speaker 6 (13:04):
Man?

Speaker 3 (13:05):
What's so going on?

Speaker 5 (13:06):
That is really just the truth of it is Like,
you know, you could beat friends with someone, but conflict
in any relationship is really the biggest decider make or
break for real, because how you deal with conflict is
just so important. It's such a relief to be out
of this mess. I'm not great with heavy discussions, so

(13:28):
I appreciate every one of you for pushing me to
step down and.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
Speak to the bride.

Speaker 5 (13:32):
Asap edits, I canceled the hotel room and let the
bride know that she would need to book her own rooms.
She did not respond, but I later received a notification
that her fiance punted me and my husband out of
the whatsap wedding group.

Speaker 3 (13:45):
Oh okay, well that's not that big of a deal.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
Uh.

Speaker 5 (13:47):
That served as a save the date for the civil wedding.
I later learned that the bride asked the other maid
of honor to step down.

Speaker 3 (13:54):
Oh wow.

Speaker 5 (13:55):
The bride asked the maid of honor to step down.
That's crazy. She was also aut invited to the wedding
and we do have some relevant comments. So Clara Mancer says,
sounds like the bride is too comfortable around drama. She
isn't curious about the details of how you were treated
and also doesn't seem to grasp the gravity the gravity
of the situation. If I were in her shoes, I

(14:17):
would be freaking out and apologizing for my fiance's behavior
and reconsidering the relationship.

Speaker 3 (14:23):
Yeah, I would be too. I'm still I absolutely so
embarrassed if like a partner treated my friends like.

Speaker 5 (14:29):
This, right BOPI just says, say, I would want to
know exactly what went on and reevaluate. Either she is
complacent with his behavior. Either she turns a blind eye
because she doesn't want to face reality and jeopardize her relationship.
Crazy for Swayzee for twenty says, have you ever considered

(14:50):
that she already knows everything and just accepts it.

Speaker 3 (14:53):
As being okay? Yeah, that's what I think what was happening.

Speaker 5 (14:56):
I agree with everything you said, but all her responses
tell me that she knows what's going on and just
keeps picking him and ignoring the rest. That's at least
what it seemed like for me from what she wrote. Ope,
he says, yes, that is certainly likely. Maybe it also
makes her feel special that someone is fighting for her
and making it look as though he is putting her

(15:16):
needs before everything else.

Speaker 3 (15:18):
And that is it the end of that story I
see in there. That's really crazy. I know.

Speaker 5 (15:23):
That felt kind of like like psychotic in a way
where she's like, yeah, he disrespected me, and like he
was like seeing all this stuff. I doubt this was
her tone, but like the you know, ba blah blah blah,
she's doing all these crazy things and she's just like.

Speaker 3 (15:40):
Okay, all right, that's okay, okay.

Speaker 5 (15:43):
Like you are you having? I figured there would be drama.
Oh my god, what are they gonna do now? Because
they fired their other maid of honor?

Speaker 3 (15:51):
Yeah, and inspiring everyone left and right, which just crazy.

Speaker 5 (15:55):
Just uninvited both of them to the wedding. How are
you gonna have a wedding? Give no one to plan
it anymore? No one wants to go to your running
because everyone likes you.

Speaker 3 (16:02):
Yeah, yeah, who's even gonna be there? My friends secretly
planned a party without anyone inviting me. Secret secrets are
no fun. Secret secrets hurts so much. I've been part
of a friendship group since I was thirteen. I'm nearly
thirty three now. Wow wow. There are seven us in total. Well,

(16:23):
some are closer to each other than others. We've kept
a group shot going for years. I've always seen them
as my oldest and my most meaningful friends, the kind
you assume will be in your life forever. By the way,
this comes from Chaotic Pumpkins and if you want to
smit your own stories, go to the rs slash Okay
storytime separate it. So this weekend I opened Instagram and
saw that five of the girls had gone on a

(16:44):
long weekend Hindu for one of the group's weddings. Uh oh.
I had absolutely no idea it was happening, no inviting,
no heads up, no mention at all. The only other
one not there as two kids, so I assumed she
couldn't go, but I was simply excluded. The whole thing
was planned behind my back. To be clear, I know

(17:06):
I haven't been the most active in the group chat recently.
I've been doing a PhD, and I even gave them
a heads up a few years ago that i'd be
less present for a while, but I still showed up
when it mattered. I traveled across the country for everyone's
thirtieth birthdays, and I've always backed them, even from a distance.
What's hurt the most isn't just missing the hen it's
the silence. Not one person said hey, just so you know,

(17:31):
or gave me a chance to understand. It just carried
on like everything was normal. After finding out, I spoke
to two of the girls, my closest friends. They were
shocked I wasn't included and admitted they were confused by
the bride's Rachel's decision. They told me there hadn't been
any falling out or issue from me, and they were
really upset to see how hurt I was. When I

(17:53):
said I was thinking of leaving the group chat and
cutting ties completely, unfollowing everyone stepping back, they got really
emotion and said they didn't want me to go, and
that felt extreme. But honestly, I don't know if I
can stay. I feel humiliated, like a spare part in
a friendship I thought I was still part of. The
trust feels broken. Part of me wants to just walk

(18:14):
away quietly, not to punish anyone, but to protect myself
and give myself the dignity of closure. The other part
of me is scared I'll look like the dramatic one
or regret walking away from twenty years of history. So
would I be the ale if I cut them all
off after this? Or should I just distance myself from
the bride? Since it sounds like she made the final decision,

(18:37):
talk to her first. There's some elemal comments in an update.
Talk to her first. Yeah, wait a minute, Like, let's
talk to the bride. Let's find out what happened. Maybe
she'll say, I just didn't really think that we were
that close, and then you have your answer. But I
don't know if we necessarily need to like punish everyone
is the bride one of the friends.

Speaker 5 (18:59):
Yeah, listen, you guys. You've been friends in a big
group of people. Yeah, twenty freaking years. Yeah, yes, this hurts. Yes,
that sucks to be excluded from a group of seven people.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
But seven that sucks seven people. This suff's gonna happen.

Speaker 5 (19:17):
Yeah, if you've been friends for twenty years, you can
talk about problems.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
You can have a twenty minute conversation, you can have
literally twenty years at least equals a twenty minute copies
say chit chat about it. Let's have a chit chat.
I say, hey, I.

Speaker 5 (19:32):
Mean, like, I doesn't understand it's your wedding, Like I
doubt this is the only problem that has come up. Yeah,
come on, come, that's just it does feel dramatic to
completely cut our off without even talking to her. Roll
in the comments slinky malinky eah, sounds like you've not
been around for a few years.

Speaker 3 (19:48):
At this point. Your example of showing up was that
when everyone turned thirty and you're now almost thirty three,
you also told them you won't be available for years.
I don't see this as you being excluded so much
as either the following what she thought you set up
as the perimeters you weren't going to be around or available,
or the bride matching your energy. You don't put anything in,
don't expect others to like, I understand what she's upset,

(20:11):
to be sure, like, I don't think that she's in
the wrong for being upset, but like, I think this
is a conversation, not just a I'm gonna just like
f off and never see anyone again, just disappearing. I've
had a very busy professional and personal times with school
where kids, but I never told people, hey count me
out for years. Yeah, but when you get older, I

(20:32):
mean friendships busy adjust especially with seven people. Yeah, that
you did seems to be your choice, which is yours
to make. But it seems like taking talking out of
both sides of your mouth to make that choice and
then act shocked and betrayed when the others respected your boundary.
I'm guessing it's a big misunderstanding that can be resolved
by a phone call, not one to make the bride

(20:53):
feel guilty or cause drama, but just to say I
saw you all went away, and I hope you ought
to blast. I'm coming out of the weeds with the
school and would love to join you all again going forward.
Obi says, Yes, this does sound like I said goodbye
for a few years. So instead of seeing them every
few months, it was more like twice a year. That's
a big change. Yeah, we are all based in different cities.

(21:15):
I do take some responsibility for this, but I will
say I think being excluded from this event is a
step too far for me. But definitely doing some thinking
to work on this. Thank you for the advice. I
am still thinking. The bride knew that this would cause
a huge problem, and I need to understand if this
was with bad intent, cowardice, or some other reason. She

(21:37):
was aware this would cause a problem, which is why
you talk to her. And if you find out that
she's you know, sucky and did it because she wants
to cause drama, then you know, yeah, that's p oh okay, Yeah,
I don't want to be around this person. Give her
a chance to thirty three. Maybe a group message is
a good shout thank you. Strong conclusion says it's not
only the non invite, but the fact no one told you.

(21:58):
You have to find out via social media or you
invited the wedding. Either way, I take a step back
from everyone, even the two closest friends. Why didn't they
tell you? Why I keep it a secret? O besays
this is exactly the main struggle. They have openly said
they knew I would be upset, and think that's a
big part why they couldn't tell me beforehand. I believe
I am invited to the wedding, but she's not sent

(22:19):
the invites out yet. I have told the two of
them I need a bit of time away, and then
I'm still in my gut reaction phase. They have apologized
a lot, and one started crying when she thought I
was cutting her off. So after this, I really don't
want to do this with these two, but we definitely
have things to work on. Yeah, I don't think we
have to cut them off.

Speaker 5 (22:36):
This is dramatic as super like I don't like super dramatic.

Speaker 3 (22:42):
Like these girls are apologizing and saying like I'm so sorry,
I'm so sorry. Yeah, it wasn't their decision. Yeah, like, yeah,
maybe they should have told you, but again, like they
didn't really have a say in whether or not you
were invited. Yeah, Like that would just be starting drama
on their behalf of being like, oh, by the way,
this didn't invite you. You wouldn't tell I wouldn't tell a
mutual friend that another mutual friend didn't invite them to

(23:04):
a party. No, I just like I don't like, maybe
you guys have different feelings. I just I'm like thinking
of this, and I'm like, if I knew that my
friend wasn't invited to a party, no, I'd be like
I would maybe talk to the bride and say, hey,
like why didn't you invite her? Orth? Yeah, I would
get information, But I don't think I would immediately be like, girl,
you weren't invited to this party and all of this

(23:25):
like turmoil that OP is in right now, It's like,
just talk to them, Yeah, just talk to them that
all of your questions will be answered. Yeah, folding it up?
What is the DoD? Didn't the innocent friend read the
email and text numbers? Did anyone ask hey, why isn't
Susie coming? You were justified and feeling terribly hurt, which

(23:45):
I still agree with. Sure, you would not be considered
nail if you didn't want to continue the group relationship.
He says. They did say that to each other, but
never as a whole group. They felt bad about it,
but felt they couldn't do much about it. Disastrous, Gate says,
be Yes, after twenty years of friendship, they couldn't do anything,
not even so much as asked their other twenty year
long friend, bride host. Why I think they could have

(24:07):
done that? Yeah, I think they definitely could have talked
about it. Yeah, these are the weak excuses of backboneless people,
And I'm so sorry they treated you like this. I
wouldn't feel like I want to be friends with people
that treat me this way, Opie says, I have reminded
them over the past couple of years, but absolutely agree
I should have been more communicative. I didn't go into
the nitty gritty in this post as I wanted to

(24:29):
be brief for more context. After speaking to my two friends,
they were chatting about the fact I wasn't invited for
months before the event. Oh, it was very conscious and
discussed a lot, but usually only between two or three
people at a time. Apparently. I asked them both the question,
what do you think my reaction would be when I

(24:49):
found this out? And they both said absolutely devastated. More
than anything, it's the fact that they didn't tell me
or talk to the bride about the repercussions of this
on what I thought was a tight knit group. Oh,
and absolutely feeling a little low as I'm in my
final year, so taking that into account. But I also
thought they may have taken it into account as well,
waiting a week to decide what to do. But here

(25:11):
but appreciate the direct comments, thinking it may just be
the bride I need to have a proper chat with
and possibly ending a friendship. Yes, that's my point. I
don't know if this is clear because I'm sleep deprived.
My point is not that you cannot end this friendship.
That is not my point. Friendships come and go. Sometimes
you have a twenty year friendship and then you realize
this person is no longer as close to you as

(25:32):
you thought they were. My point is, because you've had
a twenty year friendship, let's have a little chat before
we end it all. Don't just go a wall. Absolutely,
the bride made the decision go talk to her. Update.
Since posting, I've spoken to a few people who know
the group and situation well. Every single one of them
was surprised, and most were very clear I should cut

(25:54):
off the bride and possibly the others too. Just to
add some more context, I was a lot quieter about
a year ago. I was doing my PhD and also
going through a tough time in my personal life, dealing
with some serious issues involving self harm and regular use.
They all knew about this and had offered words of support.
Over the last six months or so, I started chatting

(26:16):
to them a bit more. Again, things felt pretty normal.
I had a phone call with the bride where she
asked for wedding advice, and we also had a proper
catch up I saw three of the others from the
group in person not long after. What makes this all
harder to process is knowing that during these moments, when
we were catching up and everything seemed fine, they already
knew about the Hen weekend and didn't say a word.

(26:39):
Since posting, I've quietly removed myself from the group chat
and taken the burden and taken the bride off socials.
She did message me saying she heard I was upset
and was happy to chat, but to be honest, it
felt more like damage control. If she wanted to talk honestly,
there were plenty of chances to do that.

Speaker 6 (26:57):
Just just do it, Please, just talk to our hasn't
done it yet, Let me talk to her, let me
talk to talk tried, let me talk to her.

Speaker 3 (27:10):
At this point, I've tried to understand why she would
do this, and the only explanations I can land on
are she deliberately didn't want me to there and didn't
have the decency to be upfront about it. She felt
awkward and avoided this situation entirely, or she didn't realize
how hurtful it would be, though I find that hard
to believe. Whatever the reason, it's caused a rift with
some of my most important friendships and put us all

(27:32):
in an incredibly uncomfortable situation. Shut up, I'm sorry, shut
your mouths. I could be misunder misinterpreting the story, but
it feels like there's a giant lack of communication. It's
saying whatever the reason, Yeah, I feel like we get it.
I feel like we know the reason.

Speaker 5 (27:48):
It's tramatics, true, dramatic.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
It's too dramatic. These people haven't come down. It's fine,
it's okay. It's made it clear that this isn't the
kind of friendship I want to keep in my life.
Two of the others still haven't acknowledged anything. I haven't
removed them yet. I'm just keeping my distance and taking
time to process. By the way, you can process with
us by listening to full episodes of stories just like this.

(28:15):
Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search up. Okay, storytime.
But there is a little bit low to the story.
If this doesn't end with her frickin' talking to the
freaking I feel like she's gonna be like, I just
don't understand why she did this, and I guess there's
no way I ever will uh and I'm gonna be upset.

(28:36):
This whole thing has been a sharp wake up call.
I thought things were back on solid ground. Clearly they weren't.
Thanks again to everyone who took the time to comment.
It really helped me get clear and act from a
place that felt calm, not reactive. Relevant slash final comments
Lindon Lil blue balls not the ale. You don't have

(28:57):
to cut them off completely, but maybe just quiet quit.
This is bad advice. Don't make any effort if you
aren't getting reciprocal effort. Put the group chat on D
and D and only reply to texts sent directly to you.
Only answer calls. Don't make them checking on yourself. In
a month, are you happier than before? Are they making
more of an effort to include you? Have any of

(29:17):
the others even noticed you stepped back? Yeah? Let him
put them on D and D. Go ahead and give
them some good day dungeons and Dragon. Ye, turn them
on to that.

Speaker 5 (29:26):
Yeah, I think so, you know, make some fun characters.
They have to see each other because you have to
finish your campaign.

Speaker 3 (29:34):
So, after a bit of thinking, Op says, I have
taken myself out of the group chat and don't think
I can forgive the bride not making a big song
and dance about it, but taking myself away from the
situation and people involved. Those who want to remain in
my life will let me know. I mean, they're like,
two of them have already let you know.

Speaker 5 (29:50):
Gross, two of them have already let you know, o Pee,
you're being gross right now.

Speaker 3 (29:56):
One of the gals I spoke to has messaged me
several times or izing a catch up for this weekend
and is planning to come visit. These questions to ask
myself are really helpful. Thank you. I feel like after
this there may be a couple of friends left from
this group, but I've decided to focus on other friendships
for the moment. And there you go, sure, sure, sure,

(30:16):
go ahead, go ahead, you silly goose. I again, like,
it's totally fine, you don't want to be friends with
these people, but like one one, come the just one
for twenty years, twenty minutes for twenty years. Hey it's Sam,
I'm your og host.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
Here bring it back to the stories. But here's three
minutes fads from our sponsor.

Speaker 5 (30:36):
My friend exposed my past identity and now I'm worried
about the aftermath exposed. So I am, but I come
from a culture where being was dangerous for my safety.
I immigrated to a much more welcoming country. When I
was twenty two, I changed my name and began going
on estrogen. I am much happier as when I met

(30:57):
people for the first time. They assume that I am
assistant femail.

Speaker 3 (31:01):
By the way, this comes from Throwaway zero zero zero.

Speaker 5 (31:05):
Zero zero zero zero one And if you want to
submit your own stories, go to there our slash okay,
storytime Supreddit.

Speaker 6 (31:10):
So.

Speaker 5 (31:11):
I have a small group of friends that I made
three years ago. One of these friends has a rather
interesting hobby. She enjoys going on social media apps and
basically learning everything she can about a person.

Speaker 3 (31:22):
Okay, so that's what we call stalker. My guys, I'm.

Speaker 5 (31:24):
Not really sure why she does this, as it seems
very weird to me, but she basically told me that
she does it because of the trauma that she has
from her high school friends who basically manipulated and bullied
her into thinking that she forgot important.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
Info about them.

Speaker 5 (31:37):
Okay, So I feel like if we're doing something because
of trauma and it's like not the best thing, I
feel like we can like recognize it, yeah, and we
can try to work on that and not just keep
going with it.

Speaker 3 (31:48):
Feel like I feel like that's the move.

Speaker 5 (31:51):
Ever since then, she goes on social media or even
listens to gossips about almost everyone that she knows, just
so she never misses a thing. I don't really understand it,
but as someone with trauma myself, I understand that we
handle things differently than what's normal.

Speaker 3 (32:07):
I haven't told my friends that I'm trying.

Speaker 5 (32:09):
I understand that it seems wrong, but I just generally
don't trust people with that kind of information. It's not
that I don't think that they will be supportive. I
just don't think that they need to know that. I'm
a little afraid of our dynamic changing, as I love
them a lot and I can't stand to lose any
more loved ones. I know that if it comes to
a point where it's needed, I will tell them, but

(32:30):
right now.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
It's not important information.

Speaker 5 (32:32):
So this friend, Amelia fake name, was acting really weird
around me. It felt like she was bringing up or
talking about similar things that I haven't told anyone about,
not directly, but she'll say things like this example, I
heard about this place called a restaurant I went to
when I was younger. The food seems interesting there. I
thought I was just going crazy at first, as the

(32:54):
internet is free.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
And she is allowed to see things from my hometown
without being linked to me.

Speaker 6 (33:00):
See.

Speaker 5 (33:01):
Oh, I get it, she's talking. Oh pe, I know
she's doing all this, doing this deep dive. She's gonna
find out, she's gonna expose. Oh no, that is until yesterday.
She was talking to our friends about baby names as
she is pregnant and brought up my freaking.

Speaker 3 (33:23):
Passed away name. That's not cool, that's not cool, and
this is psychotic one.

Speaker 5 (33:30):
I'm sorry for it to be learning about this person
and then just slowly be like.

Speaker 3 (33:35):
Yeah, yeah, giving out all this. Oh you.

Speaker 5 (33:38):
We made eye contact for a bit as my friends
gushed on how cute it sounded, but all agreed it
doesn't fit her ethnicity.

Speaker 3 (33:47):
She moved on and never brought it up again.

Speaker 5 (33:49):
I don't feel anything towards that name, nor do I
feel like she isn't allowed to name her baby after
if it after it, if she so desires to. But
it feels like a twisted form of power play. I'm
not sure how she found it, but I don't think
that she'll use it against me nor out me, as
she's not that type of person. I feel like maybe

(34:12):
she's just trying to hint that she knows. Right now,
I just want to call her out on what she's
doing and tell her that she needs to stop, as
it is.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
Making me uncomfortable.

Speaker 5 (34:21):
But again, I'm not sure if this is the right move,
as it is her coping mechanism for her trauma.

Speaker 3 (34:28):
But here's the thing. You've got trauma too, babe. Yeah,
you've got lady being creepystly like you've got trauma.

Speaker 5 (34:36):
You move to another country, like I'm sure there were
more reasons besides it just because of like your your transition,
but that's a big part of it.

Speaker 3 (34:45):
That's an insanely personal thing.

Speaker 5 (34:48):
You should not just like you are allowed to set
boundaries even if it involves or like has to I
don't know, intertwine with someone else's trauma who.

Speaker 3 (34:59):
Cares about her trauma. Yeah, you're just going to be
an awful You don't get to be an a whole
just because you have trauma. No, it's not explains why
you do it. And also she's using it as an
explanation like my trauma. That's why I do this. I
don't care.

Speaker 5 (35:12):
Yeah, it kind of makes me feel like it feels
like you're a liar, feels like you're a liar, feels
like I literally actually if I care that much less
because you're being obic. Consensus from the comments, not the
a whole comments are checkered. Some say to ignore Amelia,
Some say to ask her privately what her deal was.

(35:35):
Some say to keep her distance with her. Some say
Amelia is an effing creepy person. Some notable comments not
the a whole just keep ignoring this person. She is
not a friend, and I call her bowl on her trauma.
This is her excuse other than just being a nosey nelly.
If the trauma were true, she would not be doing

(35:57):
the same thing. Your identity is no one's but yours
to disclose if you choose to do so, in your
own way, and to whom you would choose to do so.
I don't think confronting this person is the way to
do it. Some comments from ope though, I don't think
it will affect my friendships with them, but it's a
feeling that's hard to explain. I don't want them to

(36:17):
know because I want to seem like a normal girl,
if that makes sense. I'm worried that by telling them
everything will change. It's also not a very common name
in my culture, and I moved to a more western
country where unless I told her or again she found it,
nobody would know. Nobody would know it. It's hard to
explain without directly outing myself on the internet. And we

(36:39):
do have an update, but before that, it's like, yeah,
it's understandable that you would feel like a weird way
about it, like she's trying to out you, and that
is never Yeah, it's just it's it's talking about your personal.

Speaker 3 (36:56):
History us very dangerous.

Speaker 5 (36:58):
Yeah, yeah, it's it's discussing your personal history like without
your involvement, and that's just weird for anyone, even if
someone was like I don't know, talking so much about
like oh, like remember how you did soccer when you
were a kid, and like talking all about this, like
why are you bringing that up? Like this is just
weird and like random, very different levels of the example

(37:19):
that I brought up.

Speaker 3 (37:20):
This is what's happening. But it feels like like it's
just like why are you why do you know that?

Speaker 5 (37:27):
First of all, and second of all, hey, quit it
something gross, knock it off it. This is about three
months later. First of all, wow, I just want to
thank everyone for the nice comments and messages that were
really sent to me. I'll be honest, the last three
to four months have been so difficult for me, and
the kind words.

Speaker 3 (37:46):
I received really helped. On to the updates.

Speaker 5 (37:50):
Amelia gave birth to a healthy baby boy, and no,
she did not hame him after my passed away name.
I don't think I would have cared anyway because one,
like I said, I don't feel any attachment or try
with that name, and to it's her loss if she
names her son that because she is white as snow
and I am an Arab. Regardless, I still felt happy
for her and celebrated her son because she was still

(38:12):
my friend. Second, there's a trend on TikTok or Instagram
where a person a will record person B and film
The reaction got Carl sentence, I'm so hungry I could
eat this name.

Speaker 3 (38:25):
You freaking called.

Speaker 5 (38:26):
I literally knew it, of course called it because you're
digging up on someone's start.

Speaker 3 (38:31):
And she saw this trend and she's like, oh my.

Speaker 5 (38:33):
God, perfect opportunity for me and my trauma to go
like snoop on other people's past I don't like this person.
For those who might not know the name that they
will say tends to be the name of a person.
That person b has a strong past width, like an
ex or a passed away friend or something. The one
I've seen is just like a random name from like

(38:54):
a yearbook or something, and they're just like, why do
you know that name?

Speaker 3 (38:58):
There's no way.

Speaker 5 (39:00):
He and my friend group went over to my best
friend's house for a girl's night to spend time with
Amelia since she's been busy with her son. They did
the TikTok trend, and since I don't really frequent social
media nor post myself, I mostly watched and chit chatted
with my other friends, who also weren't super into trends.
We were having fun till Amelia pointed the phone at

(39:20):
me and said, hey, my name.

Speaker 3 (39:23):
I'm so hungry I could eat father's name. I was
beyond shocked.

Speaker 5 (39:28):
My passed away name has no meaning to me, but
my father's like a knife twisted into me.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
Hearing his name made me panic.

Speaker 5 (39:37):
I guess my other friends noticed and told Amelia to
stop and delete the video. I basically dissociated during the argument,
but from what my friends told me after, Amlia claims
that it was just a joke and a trend that
people do. I feel fire inside of me right now.
I hate this one I so much. She then went
on to claim that I was in the wrong and

(39:58):
outed me to my friends.

Speaker 3 (40:00):
Oh wow, you really cemented yourself as in the wrong.

Speaker 5 (40:04):
There who luckily didn't care. Good They're not evil like
they were.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
Accepting as I had hoped.

Speaker 5 (40:12):
She basically got punted out of the house after a
long screaming match, and my friends told me that she
wasn't welcome in the friend group anymore after what she
had thanked God good, Oh my gosh, I feel violent
right now. I felt awful about this, as she was
friends with them longer than I was, and felt like
I was ruining things. They assured me that I didn't

(40:32):
and they accepted me. I apologized for not telling them sooner,
and they understood that it was my secret to tell. Yeah,
you don't even have to tell, like you know, you
don't know anyone.

Speaker 3 (40:41):
No, no, coming out, not at all, not at all.

Speaker 5 (40:45):
Emilia did end up posting the video oh and vaguely
posted about me and the rest of the group. It
got taken down after my best friend confronted her and
forced her to and deleted the videos, but the damage
was already done and a lot more people. But on
the brighter side, I never really got questioned by those
mutual friends of Amelia.

Speaker 3 (41:06):
So that's good. By the way, what else would be
so good. Something else would be really really good is
if you.

Speaker 5 (41:14):
Check us out on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, whatever your
favorite podcast app is, because we've got full episodes or
stories just like this one.

Speaker 3 (41:24):
We've got so many of them, so many.

Speaker 5 (41:26):
Just search Okay storytime and you'll see what I'm talking about,
you'll see if you don't believe me, because I'm known
to lie about these kinds of things. Guys, you have
to check to see that I'm I'm being honest, because
I might not be, but you have to exactly exactly and.

Speaker 3 (41:42):
There is a little bit more into the story. Any
final thoughts. Yeah, this girl sucks. Yes, your friends clearly
like you over them. Don't be in the frame of
mind of like, oh I ruined the French. No, you exist.
They chose that she exists as an evil person. Yeah,
and her friends realized that she sucks, and so they crowd. Yeah,

(42:05):
that's not your fault. She sucks absolutely, absolutely, and there's
no two ways about it. Nope, that's all my thoughts.
I agree.

Speaker 5 (42:14):
After that, we never really heard or paid any attention
to her again. I finally started therapy, and my therapist
is the one who suggested to update you all as
some form of closure. She said, So once again, thank
you read it for all the kind words and messages,
and hopefully nothing else this bad happens again. And from
the comments and their consensus, Amelia sucks and the TikTok

(42:35):
trends suck or TikTok trends in general suck. Notable comments,
three guys say that they know what she's like and
that this was the last boulder that broke.

Speaker 3 (42:47):
The camel's back. Yeah. Absolutely, and that is the end
of that story.

Speaker 5 (42:51):
You know. Shout out to the therapist for suggesting that
you finished that story, because then we get to read it.

Speaker 3 (42:56):
Yeah, we get to hate on this, write it now. Yeah,
she's for you. She's she's she's gross, gross like, actually
she's stinky. I can smell her from here. Yeah, and
it's it's ree caged. She's smell like rotten rotten food.
It's a bad smell. I don't Yeah, No, she's stuck,
she s. I hope that she gets what's coming to her. Yeah, freeze,

(43:19):
because she's gonna push all of her friends away by
being an awful person.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
My friends told me to shut my kid up. I'm
distancing myself from her.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
How about you shut up?

Speaker 3 (43:31):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
I thirty five female and my husband thirty six smele
I have a five year old daughter. Recently, she found
our wedding album and has been absolutely obsessed with weddings
and everything to do with them. She's been asking us
a bunch of questions, For example, why we got married.
We've just been answering that we love each other a
lot and thought it was right for us. By the way,

(43:53):
this comes from my kid is a chatterbox five and
if you want to smit your own stories, go to
our slash okay story times up at it. Recently, a
friend of ours invited us to their six year wedding
anniversary party. The friend who was hosting the party and
I are a part of a pretty large female friendship
group that started in our law school days. All of

(44:14):
us are either married, with children, engaged or in a
relationship with some sorts. All this will be perfect for
the kid to join, because kid's like cute all about
weddings right now, it's cute.

Speaker 1 (44:25):
Ah.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
Mandy thirty five female, is a part of this friendship
group and is in a relationship with Bass thirty eight male.
Mandy and Bass have been together for almost eight years now.
For the past five Mandy has been expressing to us
that she really wants to get married, but Baz is
very avoidant about it, to the point when she's brought
it up, he just says, it's just a piece of paper,

(44:49):
and I don't need the government's approval to love you.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
Don't you want to make it official official?

Speaker 2 (44:54):
Despite us gently suggesting that he might be unserious about
her and that they if they have different views on marriage,
they shouldn't be together, she insists that they are meant
to be and that he'll come to his senses soon.
At the party, all of us couples and kids were invited.
My daughter was over the moon about all the wedding stuff.

(45:15):
Mandy eventually strikes up a conversation with my daughter about
school and such. My kid notices Bas and Mandy together
and asks if they're married, why they aren't married, and
when they'll get married in a very awkward when will
you well Wiggs type.

Speaker 1 (45:30):
Manner Benvilville Bewiggs.

Speaker 2 (45:32):
I was nearby and overheard the conversation and immediately tried
to change the subject. I apologize as I knew it
was a touchy subject for Mandy. I made her apologize
to Mandy for being nosy, but when she kind of
snaps back at my daughter saying, well, we aren't married
because I truly love him and I'm not a gold
digger lol. Some context, my husband is very successful architect

(45:54):
and his family comes from some help some wealth. My
family is the opposite, with me being in the first
generation law. I had opened up to Mandy in the
past that I was worried to meet my husband's family
in case they thought I was just with him for
his money. Got nervous about what people thought once they
knew I didn't originally come from wealth. I love my husband,
have a great relationship with this family, and I'm very

(46:16):
successful as in my field as well. Yeah, she like
made her own build to law is not that easy, guys.
You got here, But I knew the comment was directed
at me she is the bread winner in a relationship
and has made snarky comments to me before about the
size of my ring and how big it looks too
big and too greedy, and how she will opt for

(46:38):
a different style when she and Baz get married. She
even implied that my husband is unattractive and made a
comment that only got pregnant early into the marriage because
I wanted to steal that generational wealth down with the
baby when I announced my pregnancy. Each time I kind
of laughed it off and moved on, except the last comment,

(46:58):
which I shut down hard kind of scared her out
of saying anything else. I'll tell this party everyone else
there overheard the conversation and knew the contexts of the comment,
and the room just kind of went silent and awkward.
It was the end of the party, so we kind
of just left and say goodbye to the host. This
was about two days ago. Today, she sent me a

(47:19):
message saying people were texting her that she what she
said wasn't cool, that she should apologize. She gave a
half hearted butt apology and said that she probably wouldn't
have said anything if I had just shut my kid
up earlier.

Speaker 3 (47:35):
And this is basically your fault.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
It's my fault.

Speaker 3 (47:39):
Shouldn't have had a kid that was interested in the weddings.

Speaker 1 (47:41):
She's just jealous of your entire lifestyle and the fact
that it's a little kid.

Speaker 3 (47:48):
Dude, Yeah, it's a little kid.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
You got, you know, get a little kid getting under
your skin. You're pathetic to that.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
I responded to not ever crap talk about my kid,
and that I wanted space from her, and that this
is the straw that broke the camel's back, as it
was said to my daughter. I told the other friends
about the text, and thankfully they backed me up and
told her she.

Speaker 3 (48:10):
Was being a witch.

Speaker 2 (48:11):
I think they were riding her so hard because a
lot of the friend group were also first generational students
with equally successful partners. She sent a follow up apology
that was slightly more sincere and has asked me to
get people off her back. My husband is equally as mad,
but said to maybe cut her a little sight because
she is in such a crap place in her relationship

(48:35):
and she is just projecting out of fear. The comment
really hurt my feelings, but I knew that she was
in a tough place with Baz, and I probably could
have controlled my daughter a little earlier.

Speaker 3 (48:44):
So why am I the a hole?

Speaker 2 (48:45):
No, you're asking the question, should I have controlled my
daughter not to ask if a couple were married and
why they weren't married, and being curious about a couple
not being married.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
It's literally like a five year old? What's wrong with that? Yeah,
the fact that that triggered you to get upset at
a little kid, like why aren't you married?

Speaker 3 (49:04):
What? Is she the a hole?

Speaker 1 (49:05):
No Ope, he's not the a hole. The one thing
I was gonna say is I don't like what the
husband said, like, oh, cut her some slack. No, that
doesn't give it her. That doesn't give an excuse for
her to be, you know, bashing you calling out your kid.

Speaker 3 (49:19):
Maybe cut some slack. I don't. I don't think that's
bad because.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
Sorry that your relationship sucks. Maybe you should fix that.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
Yeah, she's just coming from a bad place. She's just jealous.
You got a good opie update. I originally wasn't going
to update on the situation because I was honestly just
gonna ghost Mandy for a while and just forget about
the whole thing. But I read some of the comments
and decided to talk to my daughter. My husband and
I set her down and talked to her about there
are many types of relationships because there are many types

(49:47):
of people. We told her some people want to get married,
some don't, and that's okay, and how getting married isn't
just about a wedding, it's a big commitment to another person.

Speaker 3 (49:56):
We also said that people have.

Speaker 2 (49:58):
Long and happy relationships without getting married and that that
isn't something to look down on people for. We said
that it's ultimately her choice to decide if she ever
wants to get married in the future, and we would
support her no matter what. We then explain that being
curious and asking questions is a good thing. The marriage
and weddings can be very personal for a lot of people,

(50:18):
and if they don't want to talk about it, to
respect that. You seem to understand and still loves weddings
and looks at my husband's and I weddings off album often,
but thankfully chilled out a little bit. I was still
a bit confused on what to do about Mandy, as
I had some mixed opinions in the comments. I get
a few that's stuck with me, asking why we are

(50:40):
even friends and if she even likes me. I didn't
want to confess the issue again, but in the past
few days, I found out I'm pregnant with a second kid.

Speaker 1 (50:49):
Congrats.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
After the initial joy with my husband subsided a little,
I got sad thinking about this drama and thinking about
how only wanted people around me wholeheartedly supported me. I
ended up sending a message to Mandy asking to meet
me up for coffee. When I met her, I told
her what We had been friends for a long time,
but her past comments about me hurt. I apologized for

(51:11):
my daughter at the party, but that didn't make her
comment okay. I also apologize if I ever came off
to her as being judgmental or unapproving of her relationship
with Bass, that I only wanted her to be happy,
and if she is, I completely support her. I then
told her about the pregnancy and said that if she
didn't like me, that was her prerogative, but I only

(51:32):
wanted people around me that support me in this period
of life. She took it in and actually apologized for
her comments and admitted that they were mean spirited. She
felt that because of her family, she's always had the
pressure to live up to a traditional family life. Even
though she didn't want to and was happy the way
things were with bass. I was happy we reached some

(51:54):
sort of understanding. Things took a turn for the.

Speaker 1 (51:57):
Worst buckle That seatbel because we're turning.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
She confessed that she purposely started saying me in comments
to prevent me from falling into the stay at home
mom trap. I was confused, and she clarified that two
other women in the group have done the same after
having children, and she predicted that I would go down
the same route. So to protect me after I got engaged,
she started indirectly shaming me in hopes I would equit

(52:24):
my job to take care of my kids. I have
never once said I wanted to be a stay at
home mother, by the way, I told her that was
effing crazy, and that I never once said I wanted
to stop working because I loved my job. She said
that was a good thing, but she thought I would
I would do it because of how often I talk

(52:44):
about my daughter and how in her eyes I create
the validation of my husband too much.

Speaker 3 (52:50):
Okay, she is just like to win this relationship. I'm
just helping you, just.

Speaker 1 (52:56):
Making sure you don't, you know, become a stay at
home mom and like become like a loving mother.

Speaker 3 (53:02):
Yeah, because stay at homes mother's worst thing ever.

Speaker 1 (53:05):
Yeah, Like that's gross.

Speaker 3 (53:06):
Can't do that?

Speaker 1 (53:07):
No, wonder Like you guys have such a happy relationship
and I'm not married. But like, here's the thing I
was taught. If you have nothing nice to say, don't
say it.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
I said she was being mean, and I've treasured her
friendship for a long time, but I need to think
as if it was worth saving. I'm now in my
car typing this head spinning. I don't want her to
be my friend anymore, but I'm scared that other people
might shame me into it because of the baby coming.
What do I do? Update two? Get ready with me.

(53:39):
If people don't take your side, just be like, look, uh,
she just share this post.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
Share this post. But like your friend group seems very logical,
and I would also talk to your friend group like, hey,
she said this stuff about you and she didn't like it,
So very simple. Just I think you just tell her, Hey,
this toxic mindset's got to stop, or I'm cutting you off. Exactly,
this mindset of you telling people how to live their

(54:07):
lives and how to have their relationships.

Speaker 3 (54:09):
You're crazy. Update two.

Speaker 2 (54:11):
Hello everyone, this is the last time we're going to
update on the situation because I've decided the stress isn't
worth it. These last few days, I've been making the
calls and visits to my close friends and family to
announce the pregnancy, so pretty much everyone in my circle knows.

Speaker 3 (54:26):
Now. People have just been wanting to talk about the baby,
so no one has asked me about all the Mandy stuff. Thankfully.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
I met up with one of my closest friends in
the group recently. I told her what happened the last
time I saw Mandy. She was just gobsmacked, as was I.
I told her I'm going to be taking some space
for Mandy and this whole drama to focus on the pregnancy,
even though I didn't really want to hear about it.
My friend gave some new info a Mandy and Baths.

(54:55):
Apparently they are going through it right now and are
close to breaking up. Has gotten bad enough that bas
has temporarily moved back in with his mom. According to
my friend, Mandy decided to have a serious talk with
Baz about marriage. She told him that she was okay
with never getting married. By the way, We're never okay

(55:16):
with you not marrying us. All you gotta do is
do these three steps. One go to your favorite podcast
platform Apple, Spotify or iHeartRadio.

Speaker 3 (55:27):
Two what do they search up?

Speaker 1 (55:29):
Okay, story time?

Speaker 2 (55:30):
Three press play Boom. You married us, and we will
be with you for at least.

Speaker 3 (55:36):
Sixty days straight. I'm just about yeah, we got a
little bit more here thoughts.

Speaker 1 (55:42):
It's been obvious she's projecting and she is just jealous
of Oh my god, everyone has a happy relationship but me.
Everyone's getting married, having kids but me.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
Baths then kind of freaked out and accused her of
cheating because he thinks her not I need to get
married anymore means there has to be someone else or
she has lost interest, which is dumb. He apparently won't
listen to reason, so they're taking some time apart. I
feel sad for her. This is not my focus anymore.
I hope Mandy just ends up happy. I'm thriving with

(56:16):
my family, focusing on getting through these early pregnancy days
and spending time with the people who support me. Day
that really took a turn.

Speaker 1 (56:26):
Yeah, but this is you know, when you get older,
when you have a family, your own life, you gotta
do what's best and just focus on your own happiness.
There are your family's happiness. Yeah, don't have other I
really didn't like those comments where she's like, oh, I
have a second baby. Now I'm gonna get people talking
beyond my back. It was just mandy.

Speaker 3 (56:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
I feel like, if you have the right friends and
the right support group, they're only gonna be happy for you.

Speaker 3 (56:51):
Oh yeah, that's it.

Speaker 2 (56:52):
They're not They're not gonna they're not gonna be like,
oh my gosh, you shouldn't be a stay at home mom.

Speaker 3 (56:56):
That's the worst thing you could ever do to.

Speaker 1 (56:57):
Your sound like, oh my gosh, I think you're a
gold digger. That's gonna like you must.

Speaker 3 (57:03):
Sack dude, Like what that's wild? That is ugh ah.

Speaker 4 (57:09):
Hey it's John here og, host of the show.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
We're gonna get back to these juicy stories.

Speaker 4 (57:12):
But here's a quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
My friend doesn't want me to bring a plus one,
so I took back my wedding favor.

Speaker 3 (57:20):
Yeah, you're not getting in any more.

Speaker 1 (57:21):
It's mine. Now Here is the situation. Last summer, I
bought my grandparents house. WHOA. This house was the hangout
spot for all my friends and throughout our childhood. This
includes my friend Dave. The house has a sizeable amount
of land which includes a lake and a gazebo.

Speaker 4 (57:38):
Oohoo.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
By the way, this comes from a user long assistant
eight eight seveny three and if you want to submit
your own stories, go t d R slash Okay. Storytime
subbured it So. I was supposed to buy the house
with my now ex girlfriend, Leslie, but going through the
process of getting approved to buy, I found out that
she has massive amounts of credit card and personal debt

(58:01):
that she hit for me throughout our four years. I
decided to break up as a result. That was about
six months ago. I met Leslie because Dave's long term girlfriend, Kim,
is Lessie's cousin. Dave and Kim are engaged and set
to get married in April. When I was buying the house,
they asked if they could have the ceremony at the gazebo,

(58:23):
which I agreed to. In December, I started dating again.
Leslie has not taken this well at all. She thinks
we're going to get back together and has tried multiple
times to make that happen. I have told her, in
no uncertain terms that isn't happening. Dave and Kim have
asked me to bring a plus one to the wedding

(58:44):
for Leslie's sake. You know, if I was op, I'll
be like, she can come, but she's not my plus one. Yeah, yeah, true,
she's not my plus one. I have told him that
this request is ridiculous, ridiculous. This wedding is happening at
my house, using my land, and I am not allowed
to bring a date because of my crazy X. If
that is the case, then they need to find a

(59:05):
new venue for the wedding, right. They are pissed about
this given the short timeframe of the wedding and when
it is supposed to happen. So we are at an impasse.
Am I the a hole? And before we get into
that question, we have an edit. I have seen a
few things brought up a number of times in the comments,
so I will quickly address them here. I am fully

(59:28):
aware of the liability issues, which is why I purchased
and the and they reimbursed me for a special event
insurance policy which will provide one hundred percent coverage for
any damages, claims, injuries, et cetera to any of the
property or persons up to two million dollars. It is
one of the first things we did after I agreed
to have the event in my home. Second, the wedding

(59:50):
will have a maximum if everyone comes of seventy five guests,
five catering staff, in five security staff. The security is
because of this is an open area that anyone walking
past can access. The house has hosted events twice this size,
and logistically it has been fine. On the property are
two cottages, one with a bathroom and the other with

(01:00:11):
two bathrooms. The only portion of my house that will
be locked during the wedding is the finished basement. The
basement has two bathrooms. Next is every person who was
single i e. Not in an established relationship received an
invitation with a plus one, including me and Leslie. This
talk came after I sent in my return card and
indicated I was bringing a plus one. Now they are

(01:00:34):
saying they do not want me to have the plus
one because Leslie blew up about it and they were
afraid of a blow up at the wedding. Huh, So
who do we invite? Do we invite the person who's
gonna blow up at the wedding or the person who's
hosting your freaking event hosting your wedding. Also, why is
Leslie controlling your wedding? Why does she get to be

(01:00:55):
like yeah, Why is Leslie being like, hey, this is
your wedding, but if OPI has a plus one, it's
over no wedding. Why why are you guys having a
wet wet spine to Leslie to stand up for yourself, spine,
Come on, Leslie indicated she intends to bring someone on
her card. I don't know if she will actually bring someone.

(01:01:18):
And we have an update. So in this case, are
you the a hole? OPI? You're not the a hole?
You're again they're making really weird requests in your being
nice enough to, you know, give them your house as
you know, for their wedding. Onto the update. So I
met with Dave this morning. We talked for almost two

(01:01:38):
hours about everything. I lit it out that I thought
he was at best a crappy friend. I went through
our long history of various things over the years that
has me questioning our friendship. That was the bulk of
the conversation. We then turned to the breakup with Leslie
and the crap show of the last six months. Throughout
the last six months, despite Leslie's craziness. I have bent

(01:02:00):
over backwards to try and accommodate her feelings. She has
showed up to my house in the middle of the night.
My god, I did not go for a restraining order.
When I go out, I do not go to places
I know that her and her family like to go.
She has implied to her family and mutual friends at
various times that I cheated and or that I took
advantage of her financially, neither of which is true at all.

(01:02:22):
I've held my tongue not to embarrass her about these
things in front of her friends and family. Dave knows
all of that, and yet is demanding once again that
I put Leslie's feelings before my own. I said, you
and everyone need to stop coddling her like she's an
effing child. Yeah, she made her decisions. There are two
adults here. Yeah, why is everyone pointing the finger at

(01:02:43):
uop that. Hey, you made decisions and you know you're
allowed to have them. But Leslie made poor ones and
we got a patter on the back.

Speaker 7 (01:02:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
Also, Dave, do you want somewhere to have your host
your wedding? Do you want to have a wedding place
or not.

Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
Like, Yeah, you are literally pushing the mug off the table.
I guess like you're getting really close to the edge here.

Speaker 3 (01:03:01):
You're about to have no more hot chocolate.

Speaker 1 (01:03:03):
There's gonna be no more wedding. Dave concedes that Leslie
has been crazy and ridiculous since the breakup, but he
says she feels like she feels she did not get
closure after the relationship. She wants to have an evening
where she can talk to you to get that closure.
He also told me that Leslie has been very vigilant
about paying off her debt and paid paid off almost
ten thousand dollars of credit card debt. Good for her.

(01:03:26):
She wants to talk to me about her progress to
see if that might cause me to change my mind.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
It was not about the credit card debt.

Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
Honey, it will not change my mind. I asked him.
So do you expect me to go to the wedding
and talk to her because I have her blocked everywhere
and date or not, I do not plan to say
a single mumbling word to her, he said, I fully
expect she would lose it if y'all do not talk
at the wedding. I told him, if that is the case, then,

(01:03:52):
for the good of my property, I can't have Leslie
come if she is so unstable that I need to
be coerced into a conversation with her. She is unsafe
to be a guest in any capacity in my home.
So I have told him, based on what he has
told me, Leslie cannot come to my house or on
my land. I'm willing to still have the wedding at
my place, but I cannot trust Leslie won't do something

(01:04:15):
given what you are telling me. Dave lost it at
this point. He said, af you and your crap. I
don't need it. So I said, the wedding's off, or
in this case, the wedding is no longer on my land.

Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
Oh my gosh, you push the mark off.

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
Yeah, you push it. You you broke it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:37):
I didn't think he's actually gonna do it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:38):
What's more important here, your wedding or Leslie's feelings. Dave left.
So that is the state of things, and we're on
to a second update. Let's go straight into it. People
have asked for an update now that the original date
of the wedding has passed. I think it is appropriate.
In the week's following the discussion, with Dave. From my
last update, A number of our mutual friends reached out

(01:04:58):
to me and asked if everything was okay. I ignored
these messages and went about living my life. I mean,
you can respond back to those messages. He's like, ah,
I'm fine, it's cool. Dave reached out to my grandparents.
My grandparents said said I need to talk to Dave
and figure it out. I ignored them. I don't like
what you're doing up pee. Yah. You can't run away

(01:05:19):
from everyone.

Speaker 2 (01:05:20):
Yeah, you gotta have another conversation or just be like, hey,
put the truth out there because you failed. You're talking
about Leslie. Yeah, I just put the truth out man.

Speaker 1 (01:05:28):
About a month after my last update, Dave's mom reached out.
She said, ope, I hope you are doing well. Can
I come and listen to you. I know number of
people what to tell you what they think, but I
just want to hear you. I will say, I will
say as few or as many words as you want
if you do not want to. I completely understand her

(01:05:49):
tone and tenor was different than everyone else's. So I
decided to meet up. I swear if Leslie is with
the mom. We met on the back porch of my house.
Told her everything that break up with Leslie, including why
we broke up, getting the invitation with the plus one,
the subsequent meeting with Dave and Kim, or sending the
plus one because Leslie was upset, and then meeting up

(01:06:10):
with Dave and everything discussed with him, and my decision
to say they cannot use my property for the wedding.
After I explained everything, I was pretty upset. She asked,
can I give you a hug? I said yes. She
gave me a hug while I cried for a bit. Oh.
She asked if there's anything I wanted her to say.

(01:06:31):
I asked for her perspective on everything. She had talked
about how she did not really know about why Leslie
and I broke up. She had heard rumors about me
cheating and that like, but she didn't believe them. But
she didn't know why we broke up because she thought
we were happy and had a good relationship. She admitted
she was upset by it by it because she was

(01:06:52):
looking forward to coming to our future wedding, Dave and
I having kids around the same age, and those kids
spending time together at her house. Dave and I used
to but Ultimately, she felt it was not her place
to say anything, since I am a grown man entitled
to live my life how I see fit.

Speaker 3 (01:07:08):
This is like the.

Speaker 1 (01:07:09):
Only adult in this entire freaking story. She said, Dave
can be a jack butt and was being one here.
She told me Leslie's behavior was out of line, but
she did deeply empathize with Leslie. Dave's mom told me
things I did not know about her breakup with a
long term boyfriend before she met Dave's dad, and how

(01:07:29):
for a year and a half she was an absolute
wreck of a person. During that time, she said, she
did a lot of things she is not proud of,
and we're out of character for her. She told me
she dreamed about a certain life she was going to
have and that dream was scattered, and for a year
and a half she would have done anything to get
that dream back. So she cannot judge Leslie, but thinks

(01:07:51):
Leslie needs therapy. We shot the crap for a bit
and she then left. For the next couple of weeks,
I kept getting calls and text about what is going
on from various people involved. I decided to just, in
a rather factual way, lay everything out. I drafted a
mass text message and laid out exactly why the wedding

(01:08:11):
was not happening at my home. I went through everything
I had shared with Dave's mom. I also sent an
email I let it be known that if anyone showed
up to my house on the original wedding date, I
would call the police.

Speaker 3 (01:08:24):
He's not playing around.

Speaker 1 (01:08:26):
And by the way, I'm calling you to listen to
full episodes with stories just like this one. Go to Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, or your favorite podcast app and search.

Speaker 3 (01:08:37):
What Okay story Time.

Speaker 1 (01:08:40):
There's plenty of stories like this one and what we're
at sixty days almost.

Speaker 3 (01:08:45):
Somewhere somewhere around there. Yeah, you'll be with us for
a minute.

Speaker 1 (01:08:48):
Uh, there's a little bit left here, Riley.

Speaker 7 (01:08:51):
I is he?

Speaker 3 (01:08:53):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:08:53):
I feel like Dave and his bride to be should
have dropped Leslie's feelings earlier. Maybe Dave got something going
on with Leslie and he's like, heymen, she.

Speaker 3 (01:09:03):
Every time we hook up, she's just sad about you.
So could you just get back with her so we
could still hook up? I?

Speaker 1 (01:09:09):
Yeah, I mean I don't think that to that extent,
but I think you spent four years with Leslie. So
there can't be like a full amount of hate for
this person. So you should be caring for this person.
I mean, you did share four years together. So in
my retrospect, if my ex was going through it like this,
I would want to talk to them, give them the
closure they deserve, or like, hey, let's get you to

(01:09:33):
therapy because one we're not getting back together. Two, like
you are a human being, I care for you. Let's
help get you the help you'd need. Because coming at
my house in the middle of the night not okay.
But let's go in and finish this story. After I
send the message an email, a number of mutual acquaintances

(01:09:55):
and friends apologize to me for how they have contributed
to the situation. Also, crap apparently hit the fan. At
the wedding, Dave had light about our conversation to Kim.
He apparently told her he begged and pleaded with me
to let them have the wedding on my property. Dave
reached out to me to apologize and see if I
would be willing to talk. I told him I thought

(01:10:16):
it was best that we do not talk for a while.
A lot of people are mad at Leslie and her
family is blaming her for the wedding situation. Yep, no
one showed up at the house on the original day
of the wedding. As far as I know, the wedding
date is in limbo.

Speaker 3 (01:10:29):
That's on them.

Speaker 1 (01:10:30):
Oh on you, Yeah, I mean, could a ope have
handled the situation a little bit better? I guess with
the Leslie situation, the Dave and Kim part about their wedding,
they did absolutely the worst possible way of handling this.
Oh yeah, but I think handling the Leslie situation should
have been like, listen, if he really wants the closure

(01:10:52):
she needs, I will go up to her. It's over.
Stop it, Like stop it.

Speaker 3 (01:10:57):
You guys are done.

Speaker 1 (01:10:58):
Yeah, we're done.

Speaker 2 (01:10:59):
If you keep contact, he's gonna get a restraining order
Like stop girl.

Speaker 1 (01:11:03):
Yeah. Also, if you're really demanding about your wedding and setting,
you know, these demands with the location of the wedding.

Speaker 2 (01:11:11):
I just know when I get married, not everyone's gonna
be happy, and there's gonna be one villain and I'm
just gonna be like, all right.

Speaker 1 (01:11:16):
Here's the thing with here's the thing with the weddings
or any planning, any party or anythig event. You can't please.

Speaker 2 (01:11:22):
Everyone impossible, and that should not be your priority. Whatsoever,
you should be making you and the bride happy.

Speaker 1 (01:11:30):
At the end of the day. Who's ever throwing the
party or hosting the party or the event. Whatever makes
you happy. What surround yourself with people that makes you happy,
That's it.

Speaker 3 (01:11:40):
My friend asks for opinions, then gets mad when she
receives them.

Speaker 4 (01:11:45):
Ah, you don't like what you're hearing.

Speaker 3 (01:11:48):
I'm a bride's maid in my friend's wedding in June.
Some backstory. My friend is currently in university and has
an upcoming medical school interview, so she's been very stressed
by the way. This comes from Jungle Juice ones even
two and if you want to spent your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay storytime separate it. So,
since she got engaged in the summer, she has no
idea what she wanted to do for colors. I and

(01:12:10):
the other bridesmaids suggested she orders some swatches from Azazi
so she could start building a color palette. At Christmas time,
she still hadn't determined her colors, but she wanted to
go shopping for her flowers at a local silk florist. Originally,
she wanted to design her own bouquet, but before even
going shopping for those flowers, she ordered four hundred dollars

(01:12:33):
worth of flowers from TEAMU like fake flowers.

Speaker 7 (01:12:36):
That's like for Timu flowers. That's got to be an
absurd amount of flowers.

Speaker 3 (01:12:40):
Goodness, all of what she isn't using. Now. Now that
she has her flowers picked out, she still can't come
to a decision on colors for her bridesmaids dresses. She
originally wanted to get dresses from Park and Fifth, so
she went to the store and tried them on herself
and loved them. Her sister, who is her maid of honor,
hated all of the dresses because because of the style,

(01:13:01):
form fitting, and silk. This past weekend, I got a
text from the bride to show me the color she
had chosen. There was a dusty lilac, A gave, yellow, blue,
and peach. She asked which color I would feel comfortable wearing.
I said any color she wanted me to wear, I'd
be more than happily. I'd more than happily wear. She
then said that wasn't good enough and that she wanted

(01:13:23):
my opinion. I said again that any color would be good.
So she picked purple for me and that was good
enough by me. She has said to us bridesmaids multiple
times that we can pick whatever dress we want as
long as we're comfortable. But then she asks me to
send her the top dress as I liked so she
could pick. I agreed and sent her the ones I liked.

(01:13:44):
She asked, out of all of them, which was my favorite?
So I told her, and then she said that it
wasn't hers and she preferred a different one. Why did
you ask she got you with the curveball? Yeah? I
said to her that I wouldn't be as comfortable in
that one if that's what she was concerned about, but
I would happily wear it. She asked for some time
to think about it and said she would get back
to me. About an hour later. She was freaking out

(01:14:07):
after thinking she found her brides made dress colors and
then realizing they didn't look good with their flowers, so
she asked for advice, and I said if she went
with her gut and stuck to only a gave, it
would look beautiful with her other color navy. But then
she said she should have simplified her flowers if she
wanted bright colors. Why is she asking your advice?

Speaker 7 (01:14:26):
This whole thing is just pick a lane, yeah, driving it.

Speaker 3 (01:14:31):
It became a whole thing, and she can't change her
flowers now because she already has them. I also explained
to her that out of one thousand photos her photographer
will take, ten to fifteen will be with her bridesmaids. Also,
her photographer has a very muted style, so that'll also
change the colors in a picture. Then all of a sudden,
she flips a switch. While I'm telling her that all

(01:14:53):
of these ideas are very pretty and will work, she
then says, I think a gave is the way I
want to go. I think it'll look great on everyone.
And I'm I'm not asking this time. I'm just gonna
be telling. At that point, I was so confused because
she wanted our opinions as to which color we liked.
Only two of the bridesmaids got to pick what they liked.
I told her I would wear anything. Then she said

(01:15:15):
that she doesn't want to come across as pushy. Uh,
I guess we don't always get what we want, and
I told her she wasn't being pushy. Finally, I asked
if she was looking for opinions or for us to
tell her that we didn't like the color she wanted
us to wear. It's her wedding, but she's so wrapped
up in what other people will think that it's inhibiting
her ability to make a decision. I said, the only

(01:15:36):
thing that's making her sound pushy is when she tells
us we can wear whatever dress we want, but then
she wants to pick the dress. I explained that if
she wants us to feel comfortable, that's not how you
go about that.

Speaker 4 (01:15:47):
Pick a lane.

Speaker 3 (01:15:49):
At that point, our fiance texted the other bridesmaids to
tell her to casually mention to me that I was
being rude and that the bride was incredibly offended that
I didn't like her favorite dress because I liked my
favorite dress, but the bride never communicates when she's offended
about something. It ended up being a whole thing, and
I later apologized to her for coming across as aggressive.

(01:16:11):
But I also said to her that if she's seeking
opinions and advice, she can't keep getting mad when someone
gives her advice or opinions. They're in mine for my wedding.
This girl is also my bridesmaid and told me the
dresses I wanted for bride'smaids were ugly and she wouldn't
do her hair I wanted it done. She later tells
me she won't punt me out of the wedding and
that my opinions and advice are incredibly valuable to her,

(01:16:35):
but every time she asks for my opinion, she just
gets mad at me.

Speaker 4 (01:16:39):
Gotta love that.

Speaker 3 (01:16:40):
So I've determined she's seeking validation and just wants everyone
to agree with her all the time. Correct, that's my
bride's illa story. This is incredibly exhausting to me, And
there is an update. But do you have any thoughts?

Speaker 6 (01:16:53):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (01:16:54):
Uh, If you're gonna have a wedding, it's your wedding,
so you decide what it looks like and you don't
worry about what other peple are gonna think or want.

Speaker 4 (01:17:01):
Just worry about what you think and what you want exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:17:05):
Update this weekend, the bride hatter bachelorette party were from Manitoba,
so it's the bridal party's job to plan and pay
for the bride to attend. The weekend began on Friday
at seven pm. We all drove to the bride's condo
where her and two of the other bride's maids live.
We went to activate and had a blast. We came

(01:17:26):
back after that and had snacks and drinks and did
a lingerie shower for the bride, ended with some games
and went to bed. Saturday was where crap hit the fan.
We went for brunch in the morning and then went
on a pedal pub. The bride decided it would be
a fantastic idea to order two punch bowls Margarita and
Moido at the first location, and she had about fifteen cups.

Speaker 4 (01:17:48):
Events Oh lord who she was.

Speaker 3 (01:17:51):
Wasted by our first stop, but it's her batch. She
can enjoy herself.

Speaker 4 (01:17:56):
Are you enjoying yourself after that much alcohol?

Speaker 3 (01:18:00):
Then we had two other stops where she continued to drink,
and then some of the girls wanted to Sangria Tower.
They all hated it but had to drink it. Anyways.
The walk back to the vehicles was slow for the bride. Yeah,
I can imagine. So we asked if she'd be okay
and ready to go to a Mexican restaurant for eight No.
She said yes, So we continued on. Girl, No, why are.

Speaker 7 (01:18:19):
We listening to the wildly intoxicated. Person's opinion, the crazy crazy.
Then the bride started puking poshock. Don't worry, she's just
making space for that dinner you're going to.

Speaker 3 (01:18:31):
At eight, the friend driving us had to pull over
four times for the bride to puke. At that point,
I'd stay pulled over.

Speaker 4 (01:18:37):
You tell me to go home now?

Speaker 3 (01:18:39):
Yeah, some of us suggested maybe ordering pizza, getting into
comfy clothes, and watching movies instead of going to this
Mexican restaurant that would turn into a club at ten pm.
The bride refused and ended up passed out on the
bathroom floor back at her condo. I had to go
get her some electrolytes. She also puked two more times
at home. You know this is really.

Speaker 4 (01:18:58):
Giving the energy that someone is dreading getting married.

Speaker 3 (01:19:01):
Yeah, this does not seem like she's excited. We ended
up getting ready to leave for the restaurant over an
hour later than planned because of the bride passing out.
Like this isn't normal behavior or something is wrong. Not
a big deal. Now, keep in mind, the bride's made
that plan most of this bachelorette trip. Is pregnant in
her first trimester and was dealing with a terrible cold
as well. So we got to the restaurant and the

(01:19:23):
bride was angry that it was their late night menu
because it was after nine pm. She also didn't want
to drink anything. This is important to know for the
rest of the story.

Speaker 4 (01:19:31):
Well, she should be wanting to drink lots of water.

Speaker 3 (01:19:34):
So we eat some aptizers and wait for the restaurant
to turn into a club. Now, the girls that were
there for her all didn't know we were clubbing, except
for two of them, so when we heard about this,
some girls were confused. So ten pm rolled around and
the dance floor opened up. The only things the bride
wanted to do on our bachelorette weekend were get wasted
and dance. Certainly nailed the first one, but she wouldn't

(01:19:58):
dance until twelve am. At that point, she had made
the entire group annoyed because we drove all the way
to this place that she loves just for her not
to want to dance. Out of nine girls, six of
us all hate clubbing, but we were all there to
do what she wanted. So her sister, who was her
maid of honor, explained to her that if she wasn't
going to dance, we would be leaving.

Speaker 7 (01:20:19):
Wow, that's her sister being there and like not cutting
off this situation before it got to this point is wild.

Speaker 3 (01:20:28):
That's it's like, this is the that's the person who
can be like, I don't care what if you get
mad at me, We're going. Yeah. It took another half
hour of getting the bride out on the dance floor,
and at this point the bridesmaid who planned everything, was
nauseous from the smell of vaping and needed to go outside,
and she asked me to come with her. That's when
she started crying. I asked her what was wrong in

(01:20:49):
the bride? Who is this? Bridesmaid's future sister in law
had said to another girl that she just wanted me
and her to leave because we weren't even dancing with her.
We had danced a bunch, but the pregnant one was cramping, tired,
and nauseous and felt that everything she was doing wasn't
good enough for the bride. By the way, it's always
good for us if you listen to full episodes of
stories just like this. Just go Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

(01:21:12):
iHeartRadio and search a poky story time. But there is
a little bit left to the story. Any final thoughts
about this whole bride situation, Dakota.

Speaker 4 (01:21:20):
I would say someone should have cut her off.

Speaker 3 (01:21:24):
Yeah, yeah, or at least like where's when she was
at home, passed out at her condo and she's like
she packs up, She's like, let's go out again. You
go no, sorry, we don't you know, we don't think
it's safe. Sorry, girl, we don't think that.

Speaker 4 (01:21:40):
We already ordered pizza. We can't go to the club's closed,
And she goes, oh, you tell me.

Speaker 6 (01:21:44):
This is my day.

Speaker 3 (01:21:45):
I know, I'm sorry, but you know, we don't think
it's safe.

Speaker 7 (01:21:49):
As you say it was your day until you had
seventeen drinksh.

Speaker 3 (01:21:53):
Sorry, we don't yeah, and then you just keep it
and she goes, oh you wait me, you're so stoufash.
I never want to see you. Yeah, understand you're feeling disappointed.
That's safe. That's what should have happened. She shouldn't have
gotten to the club. At the end of it all,
we left at one thirty am. Everyone was mad at
the bride for making such a scene, and then, of
all the things, wanting to go clubbing and not even

(01:22:14):
get tipsy. She wasted everyone's time and wasn't grateful for
anything that was planned for. She complained the entire time
and made all of us feel horrible for trying to
plan something fun. Now that this weekend is done, we're
counting down for when our wedding is over. This has
been a crap show. Yauser wowsers, that's the whole story.
You need to have a conversation with her.

Speaker 7 (01:22:35):
Yeah, I would be like talking to his sister being like, hey,
so that was really intense, right because she maybe not
what I married.

Speaker 3 (01:22:43):
Well, like, does she have a drinking bro? What's going on?

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My friend’s fiancé made the wedding planning too stressful… so I’m stepping down! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2181

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My friend’s fiancé made the wedding planning too stressful… so I’m stepping down! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2181