My friend’s husband PRETENDED to be her… to ask me to be their “third”! - r/okstorytime | Reddit Stories | EP2185 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are
the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcasts.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support
from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll
get into the episode.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
My friend's husband pretended to be her to ask me
to be their third Oh.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
I don't understand what's going on, but I don't think
I like it.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
This is an our slash Okay Storytime subreddit submission.

Speaker 4 (00:30):
So this is one of y'all okay wow wowee.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
Uh, this is a doozy.

Speaker 3 (00:36):
I am a twenty seven year old female and this
friend is also twenty seven and female. So my friend
at the time, let's call her Jessica, started seeing this
guy toward the end of twenty twenty. No one in
our friend group liked him.

Speaker 4 (00:51):
She knew this.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
After about a year of them seeing each other, they
got engaged. This guy pretty much only is with her
for spicy time.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Don't like that.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
By the way, this comes from Witchy Woman nineteen ninety eight,
And if you want to spend your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay Storytime.

Speaker 4 (01:04):
Separate it.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
So one of our mutual friends came to me and said,
how Jessica's man asked her for a double sloppy toppy repeatedly,
even though she says no, we're reading this story. I
always get these stories because she was in a relationship.
You tried bribing her with victorious secret. All right, I'll

(01:30):
talk about that later. When she yelled at him saying no,
he said it was just a joke. A few days
after she told me about this, I get a text
from Jessica's number asking if I would do a double
sloppy toppy or just spicy time in general with her
and her man. I immediate responded saying no, and you

(01:51):
should know better than ask me. I'm not into that
type of spicy time. I would never consider it with
a friend.

Speaker 5 (01:57):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
Ever, the next day I get a FaceTime from her
and I mentioned that I'm super irritated that she.

Speaker 4 (02:04):
Sent that text. She swore she didn't know what I was.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
Talking about, but the look on her face went red
with embarrassment, and she said her fiance sent it without
her knowing.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
After this, I had run into them both, and he
tried asking me again and tried telling me each spoiled
me with Victoria's secret seems to be his gotu.

Speaker 4 (02:24):
I've lat out said no.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
I told her that I didn't believe she didn't know
that I don't support them getting married and wouldn't attend
the wedding do to now being uncomfortable around her fiance.
Valid so valid, she didn't believe me and kept asking
me to be your wedding photographer. Two piasa pod Yu,
keep asking you to do things for them and telling

(02:46):
me where she was gonna seat me if I didn't
want to do pictures. When it came to her actual
wedding twenty twenty three, no one in our friend group
showed up. In fact, only one of her friends not
in our mutual group showed up because we all didn't
like him. Since then, we all distanced ourselves from her
and even told her why. She would then message us

(03:08):
irritated we never wanted to hang out with her, never
messaged her first, and would say we're all ales for
not going to her wedding, saying we didn't support the marriage.
I would be civil with her, told her I was
too busy with things to hang out every time she
did this, and also reminded her I didn't want to
be around her husband seems how he can't seem to
be away from her for more than a half hour

(03:30):
without telling her to get home. She went off on
me a few months ago, saying how I was the
biggest a hole for not showing up to our wedding
since I had known her the longest in our friend group.
Instead of responding, I blocked her number in all of
her socials. Two days later, someone still on her Facebook
sent me a screenshot oh she had posted to Facebook

(03:53):
saying she was happy she was no longer my friend
because I never cared about her, even though she was
always welcome at my parents when she was fighting with
her parents and brother or was in a fight with
her fiance. But the unexpected update a few days later,
she tried getting a hold of me on my business
Instagram account, as well as her husband trying to talk.
I told her to stop getting a hold of me,

(04:15):
didn't respond to her creep harmful husband then blocked her
on my business accounts on all social media because apparently
it wasn't obvious I was completely done with her when
I blocked her a few months ago, not even responding
to her five paragraph text of all the reasons as
to why I am an.

Speaker 4 (04:31):
A hole, comments comment one, you made the right call.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
As for your friend, she's heading towards one of those
open marriages, which I don't know if she's heading towards it.
I think she's in I think she's already in it
where he pushes for it. But it's really just an
excuse for him to cheat.

Speaker 4 (04:51):
He's already cheating. He's already cheating. He's propositioning woman. They're
just not accepting. He's trying to. He's just feeling at
it because no one likes him. He's just weird and creepy.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
Eventually, she'll be on Reddit sharing how her husband drove
her away from all her friends by being creepy and
using the open marriage to sleep around. She'll become a
hollow version of herself, not realizing why she can't seem
to maintain any lasting friendships with other women. Until then,
stay away from her and her husband as long as
you can, including no contact. This guy will only cause

(05:27):
more trouble down the line, Opie says in her last
text of her telling.

Speaker 4 (05:31):
Me how I was an ale.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
She tried telling me she didn't understand why everyone uses
her husband as an excuse because he's only for her.
Yet he has asked more than just me and the
other friend I mentioned in the story. For this, he
actually got hit in the face by the one friend
that showed up at the wedding for asking her while
she was pregnant. Comment too, I'm sure once she catches

(05:55):
him in bed with one or two of her new friends,
she'll reach back out to you and ask for support.
He sounds like a total creep. And I don't blame
you for keeping your distance. Oh, he says, I probably
won't try to be friends with her again if she
finds a way to contact me if slash when that happens.
This is just the tip of the iceberg with drama
when it comes to this friend. She's cheated on past boyfriends,

(06:17):
stolen friend's boyfriends, stolen things from multiple friends.

Speaker 4 (06:21):
Oh, can't another friend money?

Speaker 3 (06:23):
There's always job hop and yet complains when she struggles
to find a job, and she constantly threatens to throw
hands and throw stuff at people who disagree with her.

Speaker 4 (06:32):
Oh my god, Okay, she sounds delightfit. There's quite a
few reasons.

Speaker 5 (06:36):
Yeah, Because to University of how to become a better person,
One on one.

Speaker 4 (06:40):
Yeah, it doesn't.

Speaker 3 (06:41):
Seem like he's the only problem in this relationship, not
at all. She also tries to copy things her friends
want to do. I sat there and mentioned going into
real estate, possibly as a career, and.

Speaker 4 (06:52):
She started taking courses less than a week later, then
got mad when I was honest with her and told
her she'd be a horrid realtor because she can't control
her mouth or her fists. Common three.

Speaker 3 (07:03):
I would definitely end that friendship. Opie says it's been
ended for a bit now, not planning on re kindling
it ever. Update my ex boyfriend left me just to
end up with his sister's pregnant best friend.

Speaker 4 (07:18):
Less than a week later. Whoa, this is a whole
nother story. This is all another story.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
What uh?

Speaker 3 (07:25):
This is my second post in here. My ex friend
from my last post title is the along the lines
of am I aol for not going to my friend's
wedding after her husband wanted spicy time with both of us?
Set me up with a guy let's call him Chris,
she considered to be like a brother back in twenty twenty.
Anyone this woman considers to be a very close friend

(07:48):
cannot be great yep. I twenty two at the time,
don't really date. Guys don't really seem attracted to me.
I'm a bigger woman with HG DSPCS pots among other issues.
What guy seem interested only seems to be interested to
get me in the bedroom, so I rarely get to

(08:09):
the relationship basis.

Speaker 4 (08:11):
Oh. Chris twenty three at the time, had a child
from a previous marriage, and my ex friend thought he
was looking for someone to settle down with after the
stuff he went through with his ex.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
She was violent.

Speaker 3 (08:21):
Oh no, I was ify due to the last guys
I tried dating with kids, leading me on just to
ghost me after a few weeks, but I finally caved
and had her tell him to message me.

Speaker 4 (08:31):
We talked and hung out for a few weeks to
a month.

Speaker 3 (08:34):
He said he wasn't sure if he wanted a relationship.
What was hoping he would be soon. I told him
there was no rush because I'd rather be sure than
him lead me on. About a week after he told
me that, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and
I asked him if he was sure, being it wasn't
long after he said he wasn't sure if he was
ready for one he told me he was one hundred

(08:56):
and ten percent sure he was ready, so I said, yeah, yes,
Oh I don't think.

Speaker 4 (09:03):
He used right.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
I don't think so either.

Speaker 4 (09:06):
About a week into us dating, he decides he wants
me to meet his family. A week red flags? Red flags?
A week into a man? What is't it talking into? Like? No,
they just started dating?

Speaker 2 (09:19):
Is really?

Speaker 3 (09:23):
I think in this relationship, I think he's like ok
which I figured was going to happen quick, being they
all lived across the street from my friend Okay, and
I was going over there quite often.

Speaker 4 (09:35):
That makes a little bit of sense.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
All of his family seemed to love me, except for
his sister Lola. That weekend I met his family. His
sister showed up with her baby daddy and her pregnant
best friend. This was Chris's first time meeting Lola's best friend, Grace.
As I was talking to Lola before they left, I noticed,
for some reason, when Grace said bye, she hugged onto

(10:01):
Chris for an awkwardly long time.

Speaker 4 (10:05):
Oohoo.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
I mean, Chris looks sort of uncomfortable with how long
it was, so I wasn't concerned, especially being Chris hadn't
given me any reason to really not trust him. A
couple days later, my ex friend tells me Grace thought
I hated her because of the hug. So I went
and found her social media and messaged her to let
her know I didn't hate her, as I had no
reason to not trust Chris. For some reason, Chris at

(10:28):
this point had gone radio silent on me. We went
from texting and video chatting very often to him leaving
me on red or giving me one to do word
responses other than him telling me he was going through
something mentally and thought he needed some space. I thought
it was a bit weird, but said I understood and
left him be for about a week. After a week,

(10:50):
he just continued to leave me on Red. His family
would ask me if we were still together. I would
just say at this point, I don't know. Go ask
him yourself, because he doesn't know how to respond to me.

Speaker 4 (11:03):
Dude, truly, like, why are they asking you? Yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:06):
About a month after he asked me to be his girlfriend,
two months since we started talking, he comes over to
my ex friend's house in a T shirt I gifted
him with his kid I haven't met before. Oh wow,
mind you he's still leaving me on red other than
a couple one word responses.

Speaker 6 (11:22):
What.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
Three to four days after that, I get a message
from Grace asking if Chris and I are still together.

Speaker 4 (11:28):
Oh, He's like, I don't, I don't know. I asked him. Yeah,
I told her to ask him because he's not responding
to me.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
She responded to that with you should ask him again. So,
of course, being that is a weird message to see
from another a female, I asked Chris lo and behold
he does not respond. Shocker, shocking, Wow, Chris not responding
so out of the norm.

Speaker 4 (11:54):
What.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
A couple days later, I'm sick of it and message
Chris and go we need to talk cause are we
even to other? He responds with I'm sorry, but I
forced myself to be in a relationship with you when
I wasn't ready for one. Again, I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (12:12):
You got it. I hate this.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
It's so frustrating when people who aren't ready for a
relationship are like I wouldn't.

Speaker 4 (12:20):
Do it anyway, like when they know not not.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
Just like oh you know, like I didn't realize, like
they know they know they're not ready. Because he said
he wasn't ready, and then a week later it was like, oh,
do you.

Speaker 4 (12:33):
Want to be our girlfriend. He's sure. When you're not ready, don't,
don't force yourself to be in a relationship. Yeah, with
someone the other person. It's so not fair.

Speaker 2 (12:43):
It's so not fair.

Speaker 4 (12:44):
You are being selfish.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
Two days later he blocks me on everything. About two
days after that, I see on Grace's Facebook that here
that Hurt and Chris are in our relationship.

Speaker 4 (12:57):
Oh, look at that. So all the time when Grace
is like, you should ask him if you're in a relationship. Yeah,
you should ask him if you're still in a relationship. Yeah,
nobody for a relationship with you. Yeah, that's what it is.
That's it's the dot dot dot man. My first thought
was they knew each other longer than they mentioned, and
she was pregnant with missus baby. But my ex friend

(13:17):
and Chris's other sister confirmed that she was pregnant with
another man's baby. Okay, who wanted nothing to do with
Grace or the baby. My ex friend through a fit
to both of them because she knew I had started
to fall for Chris pretty hard.

Speaker 3 (13:30):
When he'd had me meet his family and when you
were actively dating him. Yeah, I tend to fall for
someone pretty hard, and sometimes a bit fast. The fit
my ex friend through had Chris's sister Lola, messaging me
mad that I was upset that Chris was already with
another woman, not even a week after he told me
he wasn't actually ready for a relationship. A couple months

(13:51):
go by and I'm finally mostly over him, only to
find out they're engaged, which only bugs me a tiny bit.
It had been months, but there was still a bit
of a sting knowing they were working out the way
I was hoping. About eight to ten months after that,
my ex friend asks me to go look at Grace's
page because it was interesting. He and her and Chris

(14:13):
got married the day after what would have been his
and I's one year anniversary, but my ex friend told
me she overheard Grace wanting to do it on the day,
but there was no time slots at the courthouse.

Speaker 4 (14:24):
To do it, so strange.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
The only good thing that came out of this relationship
and the friendship with my ex friend is I had
gotten my wonderful dog who absolutely loves Dakota and Riley reading.

Speaker 4 (14:38):
Oh my gosh, she loved to hear it.

Speaker 3 (14:40):
Look at that Wow from my ex's younger sister not Lola,
who is best friends with my ex friend. I also
learned don't trust most guys named Chris, because if Chris
crossed applesauce.

Speaker 4 (14:52):
What would he do to you? Whaharude?

Speaker 3 (14:56):
My boredom got the best of me, and I went
to see if my ex's wife, the woman he before,
still had me blocked on Facebook. Love it mainly because
I saw she viewed.

Speaker 4 (15:04):
My TikTok profile and liked a few of my videos
from five years ago right after he broke up with me.
She had blocked me on Facebook when I laugh reacted
to her and Chris making things Facebook official. By the way,
you can make things official with us if you listen
to full episodes of stories just like this. Just go
to Spotify, Apple Podcasts in iHeartRadio and search a Pokes

(15:26):
story time.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
Well, she unblocked me. I immediately noticed her profile picture isn't
of her and my ex or her and the kids
like normal, But I quickly realized who is in the
picture with her. It's my ex's brother. What so naturally
I got more curious.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
Oh my gosh, I.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
Looked up my ex's second Facebook, the one I wasn't
blocked on, to see what's on his page. His profile
picture is with the same brother's baby mama wife swapped. Chris,
my ex has one biological kid with the woman he
married after breaking up with me, and his brother as
one biological kid with the woman my ex is now with,
so my accent his brother I have become Uncle Daddy's apparently,

(16:07):
let's go on. I'm sorry that the concept of this
is so funny to me because it seems like they
literally went I like her better, Yeah, only I like
her better, and the girls were like, yeah, may be
even more glad I'm not with Chris anymore and totally

(16:29):
made me laugh because what kind of Jerry Springer bs.

Speaker 4 (16:33):
Is going on with that family? Common one says, wow,
that is some Jerry Springer material.

Speaker 3 (16:39):
You dodged a bullet with Chris. Trust me, he is
not the one. I'm sorry that happened to you, and
Opie says, thank you. It hurt at the time, even
though we weren't together long. But the situation is sort
of laughable the more information I end up finding out.

Speaker 6 (16:52):
My fiance will take my last name. It did not
go well with his.

Speaker 4 (16:56):
Parents ooh so bad that he wanted to forget their
name by fiance male twenty one.

Speaker 6 (17:02):
Alex and I female twenty two have been together for
six years, getting married this year.

Speaker 4 (17:08):
Congratulations.

Speaker 6 (17:09):
I never cared much about my last name, but after
some recent family events, realized that I want to keep mihnd.
Alex doesn't mind and chose to change his last name
so we'd match.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
Heck.

Speaker 6 (17:19):
Yeah, by the way, this comes from throwway my last name.
And if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the our slash Okay storytime Separate Yeah. Upon finding
out Alex's parents, Lisa and Luke yelled at him. Lisa
cussed him out, so my parents let him stay with
us for the last week.

Speaker 4 (17:37):
Of winter break. We were hall on break from college
and live a few miles apart.

Speaker 6 (17:41):
Lisa and Luke say Alex is destroying and disowning his
family publicly humiliating them and say that I'm stripping him
of his manhood. Wow, he really is pretty powerful. They
told us were unbiblical and that women should submit a what.

Speaker 4 (18:00):
Wow, this is crazy language. Here ya yaie to them.

Speaker 6 (18:05):
It's political too, they said, the queer community is the
reason that.

Speaker 4 (18:08):
We're sa scept them all to this. Transgender people are
to blame and America is in its downfall. This is
just another sign wow wow, Okay.

Speaker 6 (18:20):
Alex has gotten plenty of texts from Lisa calling him hateful, cruel,
and cold, asking how can he let her suffer. The
meetings Alex had with his parents went poorly. They told
him that they wanted to see him and not talk
about the name, but then they did.

Speaker 4 (18:35):
One meeting involved both sets of parents. Lisa and Luke.

Speaker 6 (18:38):
Talked to ninety percent of the time before getting up
and leaving. They're mad Alex stayed with us and said
that even if we go with his name, they'd resent
us and my family for supporting us.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 6 (18:51):
Lisa friend to cut Alex off and says he won't
get another penny they had planned to contribute to our weddings,
stating that there were no strings attached and they fund
his college apartment. Lisa said that this is the worst
thing to happened to her since losing her first.

Speaker 4 (19:05):
Baby, Oh my god.

Speaker 6 (19:08):
Wow, and that it's worse than if Alex had gotten
me pregnant, unlived, someone wasted driving, or was attracted to
the same gender. She's telling Alex that his grandparents will
have to move to assisted living from heartbreak, and Luke
keeps telling Alex that his choice.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
Is hurting people. Holy crap, man, calm down. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (19:29):
Their main reason seemed to me that it is tradition
and that they want the same last name carried on.

Speaker 4 (19:35):
It's not an uncommon last name. Certainly he doesn't want
their last name. Yeah, I want to carry on that legacy.

Speaker 6 (19:41):
I also learned that Lisa Borderline tried to talk Alex
out of proposing. Alex asked me to marry him anyway,
and Lisa called my mom in the midst of the
engagement excitement to share her disapproval.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
Great.

Speaker 6 (19:56):
They said that they get a say until Alex is
married and that's when they'll leave us. Be uh what
Lisa and Luke keep texting Alex and my parents, But
I have never gotten anything. They openly dislike me now,
bad mouthing me whenever I'm there or not. I've decided
my relationship with Lisa and Luke is over. It was

(20:17):
rocky before, as they tried to push their religion onto
me numerous times. Alex is deciding how much more he
can give. He hasn't taken a harsh tone or spoken
rudely to his parents, but is tired now. His parents
say if Alex won't move back home, their financial support ends.
They say the family won't come to the wedding, and

(20:37):
one of his siblings actually has left the wedding party. Obviously,
I have decided to stay mostly away from Lisa and
Luke now, but they are Alex's family. With the weddings
still coming up, we're unsure how to move forward, and
it's add Lisa and Luke's financial support is not necessary
and the wedding will proceed with or without it. Just
thought it relevant to point out that the money that

(20:59):
was offer no strings attached clearly does have strings. We
know we are young and are still getting married after
spending six years together.

Speaker 4 (21:08):
Postponing the wedding isn't something that we're willing to do,
but we do have some comments.

Speaker 6 (21:12):
Commentare number one says, family, you're awful, evil people and
we're not coming you, okay, Opie response to this easier
said than done, but this may need to be the
route that we take. A commentare number two says, it
sounds like he has really good reasons for not wanting
to be associated with that last name any longer. Yes,
it's not a traditional thing. And people will look at

(21:34):
him funny for it. They can just f write off.
If you're happy and he's happy, that's all that matters.
Comment tur number three says you shouldn't be getting married
before you have achieved financial independence from your parents. This
is just the first issue that will come from this.
You're too young anyway. Opie says, I appreciate the insight,
but we don't need their financial support. Just thought it
was worth mentioning that money offered without strings clearly does

(21:56):
have strings. We have a solid plan in place financially,
but came to this sub for the relationship aspect. Someone
else responds, if you and your fiance don't need their
financial support, why have you guys been taking it? I'm
sure this isn't the first time that they've shown they're
not good people. So you both have agreed to benefit
from their finances despite the kind of people that they are.

(22:18):
Hope He responds, it hasn't been a trade of money
for control up until now. If your parents wanted to
give you money, would you not take it if it
was truly out of kindness? Alex surely isn't the only
college student being put through by his parents.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (22:33):
Now, silly common Yeah, that is now that it is
money for control, we're planning not to accept it anymore.

Speaker 4 (22:40):
He guess what we've gotten updates, let's freaking jump in.

Speaker 6 (22:44):
Alex and I got married last month and everything was
absolutely beautiful Since my original post. After more months of
emotional and verbal abuse, Alex made the difficult decision that
his parents were no longer welcome at our wedding. He
explained that he couldn't trust them to respect his boundaries,
respect us at all, or respect what the event was about.

(23:05):
As expected, they freaked out, asking if he was trapped
and needed help, saying everything had become about me ope,
and telling him that he'd been isolated from everyone that
he loves.

Speaker 4 (23:19):
We're not sure what.

Speaker 6 (23:20):
Story they told Alex's extended family. Alex reached out to
everyone to explain what had been going on, but every
response that he received was more discussed towards his name choice,
refusal of wedding invitations, and saying that he needed to
apologize and grovel.

Speaker 4 (23:35):
And fix the family. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 6 (23:38):
Most of Lisa's family were the ones talking the most
about how dishonorable he was and how he was breaking
apart the family interesting seeing none of them share Lisa
and Luke's last name. Luke's family does. Luckily, only one
invitation was returned with nasty notes inside, but the rest
of the digital responses took Lisa and Luke's side, berating

(24:00):
Alex for doing this near the anniversary of the passing
of Lisa's first child and called him cool and hateful.

Speaker 4 (24:08):
Oh my gosh, God's so not the same at all.
This is just so insane. He might need to go
very limited to no contact.

Speaker 2 (24:17):
With these people.

Speaker 4 (24:18):
Sorry about that boy.

Speaker 6 (24:23):
For context, Lisa's first child passed away a few days
after birth, over twenty five years ago. Alex says there
has never been any remembrance that he knows of, and
they do nothing on the anniversary.

Speaker 4 (24:35):
He doesn't even know the date of the anniversary.

Speaker 6 (24:38):
Lisa and Luke explained what happened once when he was
young and never mentioned anything again. We're unsure why it's
all coming back up now after presenting this is trying
to tell him he exactly after presenting as generally unimportant
his whole life. Apparently, this drama being four months from
the anniversary was disrespectful. Four months a third of the

(24:59):
year away from mandilsary too soon.

Speaker 4 (25:01):
I'm sorry, what what is not soon? Oh my gosh.
His sister Alice also went off the rails.

Speaker 6 (25:09):
After checking in to see how Alex was doing, Alice
got angry that he wanted to discuss things over text
instead of on the phone.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
They're just grasping at straws at anything.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (25:24):
It became obvious that she wanted him on the phone
to braid him because she ranted about how he was
steamrolling their parents and wasn't really an adult because he
wasn't married yet.

Speaker 4 (25:36):
About what you get married? How don't you get married?
And also that's silly, that's silly, that's stilly.

Speaker 3 (25:41):
Clear, but it's also funny because like they're actively trying
to stop him.

Speaker 6 (25:45):
Yeah, I know because the parents mentioned that earlier, Like
we can't tell him what to do, like unless he's
or we can't.

Speaker 4 (25:52):
We can tell him what to do until he gets married.
So strange stray people.

Speaker 6 (25:57):
She said that she had encouraged Lisa and to cut
him off long ago and that I Opie wasn't acting
like family since I stopped letting her follow my Instagram account.
This was after she'd dropped out as a bridesmaid and
made it clear she didn't support our marriage. I decided
not everyone gets full access to my life. Good yeah, exactly.

(26:18):
As his only sibling. It was devastating for Alex to
watch Alice spiral into fully taking their parents' side after
initially leading him to believe that she had his back
and being supportive after saying not to expect her and
Alex's brother in law at the wedding. There's been no
further contact since Alice refuses to speak to him unless

(26:39):
he'll talk on the phone. At this point, he won't
do any phone calls, as we'd rather have record of
everything that goes down. Many people tried to talk to
Lisa and Luke, my own parents', mutual friends, etc.

Speaker 4 (26:53):
To encourage them to choose the relationship.

Speaker 6 (26:55):
And explain the damage that they were causing wasn't worth
the loss that they door.

Speaker 4 (27:01):
It seemed to have no effect.

Speaker 6 (27:04):
Alex was quick to become no longer financially dependent on
his parents. We've changed his phone plan, reclaimed all of
his bills from Lisa and Luke, fully moved him out
and finished college. We're not sure if they attended graduation.
They texted Alex the day before to say that they'd
be there, but then turned off their location services. Graduation

(27:24):
day was stressful and nerve wracking, with Alex not knowing
if they'd make a scene or corner him. He left
as soon as he walked across the stage and made
it to his car, with no interactions since then. As
most redditors suggested, we've been nearly no contact with Lisa
and Luke. We spent the first six weeks of summer
finishing wedding details, and our day last month was gorgeous.

(27:47):
Alex received no communication between graduation and the wedding and
has no plans to continue the relationship without an apology.
Lisa and Luke did not show up to the wedding
or say anything the day of. The only reason change
Lisa on following and unfriending both of us and my
family on all social media. And by the way, you
can follow us on all social media just search Okay

(28:10):
story Time, but you can especially do it on iHeartRadio,
Apple Podcasts, Uh, Spotify, whatever your favorite podcast app is.

Speaker 4 (28:18):
Just search Okay Storytime. Do it do it for me.

Speaker 6 (28:23):
My in law relationships are basically over apology or not learning.
They'd never supported our engagement, ignoring my existence and hating
me because.

Speaker 4 (28:32):
Of my political and religious beliefs is.

Speaker 6 (28:34):
Enough for me not to keep contact. Good Thank you
editors for your kind help and good wishes. Our day
was truly perfect and straight out of a fairy tale.

Speaker 4 (28:43):
And we're looking.

Speaker 6 (28:44):
Forward to the next chapter of our lives with hopefully
less drama.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
And that is that. Hey's John, you og host here.

Speaker 5 (28:51):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a
quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors. My
wife refused to stop tying my EMT boots.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
I ended up hurting her feelings.

Speaker 5 (29:00):
Yes, I know this title is bizarre and I can't
believe I'm actually writing this. My wife is a neat
fore always has been. She throws notes on my desks
out assuming their garbage. My belongings get rearranged to the
point where it takes me hours to find them. It's
something I have come to accept. I'm not happy about it,
but we have a pretty happy marriage on the whole.
By the way, this comes from Thoroughway Shoes And if
you want some earon stories, go to the arsash Okay

(29:21):
Storytime Celebretta. Now, I am a volunteer EMT and I
keep my boots unlaced up against the wall next to
my clothes hamper, so that way I can throw them
on along with my uniform if a call comes in
during the middle of the night. Well, my wife has
been taking to tying the boot laces when she sees
them untied. Not only does she tie them, but she
tightens them and double knots them to the point where

(29:42):
I need to undo the not open up the boots,
let a little slack out to fit my feet into them.
I ignored it the first two times, but the third
time she did it, I made a point to bring
it up to her. The next day, I very calmly said, Han,
I appreciate that you want everything neat, but please do
not touch my boots in the future.

Speaker 2 (29:57):
Time is of the essence.

Speaker 5 (29:58):
When I'm going on a call and it two am
in the morning, I don't have time to unlace them
and open them up. It's not just a minor inconvenience.
It's people's lives. So I would appreciate it if you
let them alone. She rolled her eyes and said I
was being dramatic and that she wouldn't help me out
by keeping my things.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Neat in the future.

Speaker 5 (30:14):
Well, she never stopped, no matter how many times I
asked her, told her, begged her. She just laughs and says, well,
you know how I am. The other night, a page
went out for a CPR in progress. I went to
throw my boots on and they were once again tightened
beyond recognition. So I'm sitting there on the edge of
the bed, cursing, trying to get my boots open, and
fumbling due to the stress of the situation. My wife

(30:34):
opened her eyes groggily, looked at me and said, don't
you need to go on that call. I slammed the
boot into the ground and yelled, yes, I do. I
would have been out the door five minutes ago, except
some stupid mother effort. Fed with my god dang boots again,
my wife got up without another word, walked into the
bathroom and slammed the door. I got my boots open,
went to the call. By the time we arrived, the
police had gotten her back, so I didn't have to

(30:56):
do CPR, but I was sweating and shaking, thinking the
delay have cost a life.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
I got home and my wife isn't talking to me.

Speaker 5 (31:03):
She ignored me the entire day until we finally sat
down and talked She said I had scared her with
how angry I got. That she thought that I was
going to harm her, and she didn't know I was
capable of getting so angry.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
Note I have never raised anne to her, nor if
I ever yelled at her before.

Speaker 5 (31:17):
I am absolutely not a violent person in any way,
shape or form. I apologized for yelling at her and
acknowledged that I hadn't meant to snap at her. I
was frustrated with the situation, as I needed to get
to the person in need of CPR as soon as possible,
and it was a delay that didn't need to happen.
I once again pleaded with her to not touch my
boots because lives were literally on the line. She told

(31:37):
me that if I was going to overreact and make
her afraid, that she would never touch my boots again
because she didn't want to live like that. Last night,
before I got into the bed, I had a sinking feeling,
so I went over and I checked my boots. I
was very disappointed to find them tightened up again, so
I decided to show her how it felt. I went

(31:58):
over to her closet and put pulled out her running shoes.
I unlaced the both of them, removed them from the
shoes completely, curled them each into a little coil and
put them inside the shoes and put them back and
went to sleep. At six fifteen, I was woken up
by my wife screaming, how could you? Why would you
do this, holding up both laceless shoes with tears in
her eyes. My wife likes to go for an early

(32:19):
morning run, and I knew she would want to go
out the door as soon as possible.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
I smiled and said, you know how I am.

Speaker 5 (32:24):
I just like things neat. She continued sobbing and walked
out of the room. So by the time she was
all laced up again, it was raining, so she missed
out on her run. I actually feel pretty terrible about that,
because I really only wanted to delay her and not
ruin her plans entirely. At this point, she's alternating between
prying that I went out of my way to hurt
her and ignoring my presence. I acknowledge that what I've
done has been pretty childish and not at all constructive.

(32:47):
I just don't know what to do. I mean, I do,
I do feel for ope in that Like you tell,
like you said before you tell someone once, Hey, this
is a life or death thing.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
Please don't do this.

Speaker 5 (32:58):
Unless again, there was the know the military sonic noise
disruptor going off like one would hope and pray that
they would just get the message. Yeah, right, little burb
says cheater in chat I see a.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
Lot of people it's like, Oh, it's like she's trying
to find a reason. She's trying to make him leave
so that she doesn't get caught cheating or something interesting.
Op's being like, I know this isn't like mature and
it's childish, but it's like you already did the mature thing.
You've done all of the mature options and they did
not work.

Speaker 5 (33:29):
Like I feel like he's kind of almost losing his
mind as a little bit because he's like, what can
I possibly do to tell you that this is this
is crazy?

Speaker 2 (33:37):
Okay? So she said, through tears.

Speaker 5 (33:38):
You admitted you were totally in the wrong for yelling
at me, and then you turned around and took it
out on me in a different way.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
What is wrong with you?

Speaker 5 (33:45):
The problem is, to her, an apology means taking on
one hundred percent of the faults when I apologize for
blowing up. She took that to mean that she was
one hundred percent in the right and that my feelings
were completely unjustified. So at this point I haven't apologized
for ruining her because she'll take that to me, and
she wasn't wrong to touch my boots. I've tried to
have these discussions, but it's win one ear out the other.

(34:07):
We have such good relationships otherwise, but I feel like
this issue has reached a tipping point and it's going
to continue to result in arguments until we resolve it.
How do I make things right with my wife while
still letting her know that I won't tolerate her disrespecting
my property anymore?

Speaker 1 (34:21):
Edit?

Speaker 2 (34:21):
Wow, this blew up.

Speaker 5 (34:22):
I went through comments for six hours last night and
it still have eighteen hundred to get through. I promise
you I'm reading every one of your comments, and I
appreciate the advice. A couple of things to address that
keep getting brought up. My wife has never been a
diagnosis having OCD as an EMT. I'm very careful about
labeling someone as having a disorder, as I don't have
the proper qualifications to make that diagnosis. I do agree
that it's time for her to see somebody and get

(34:43):
a proper diagnosis and address these issues. My boost lay
put lace up in the front and zip her on
the side. They're not a full unzip, but rather an
unzip to open them a bit. The way my wife
is tying them makes them impossible to get on even
with the zipper down. Their weather proof and great for
standing on rough terrain or the highway after after accidents.
They're only about a year old and we're actually a
gift from my wife. I've not considered velcro before, but

(35:05):
I'm a bit hesitant to do that as I don't
know if that if they wouldn't catch on things or
wear out quicker. I tucked the laces in, but she
still tied them up. This is a bit of compulsive
behavior on my parts. I don't leave my boots in
the garage because my mother was a smoker growing up
and that's where she would smoke. So I ended up
with ashes in my shoes and having them wreak of
tobacco afterwards. So I developed a bit of a habit

(35:26):
of wearing them into my home. If I leave them there,
they're likely to get moved to someplace safe where it
will take me even longer to find them, putting the
boots in the closet, you found them and tied them,
putting them under the bed or out of sight until
they were found, tied, or moved to the closet. I
honestly believe that if foot locker or any other kind
of box would get moved to where I would have
to wake her up to find it if it's locked,

(35:48):
then my keys would likely go missing for some reason.
Sitting them on my dresser is not appropriate, but in
the pocket of a jacket downstairs in the closet is.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
I am likely going.

Speaker 5 (35:58):
To start putting my boots in the car though I
had to laugh at the people suggesting decoy boots.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
Dude, what are you talking about? That's like that honestly
sounds like the best suggestion I've heard so far. Yeah, yeah,
the decoys ready to go.

Speaker 5 (36:11):
But also like thinking about the ridiculousness of the scenario
we've reached, you know what I mean, As much as
it may seem like it, I'm not living in a
spy versus spy cartoon.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
I am a volunteer EMT.

Speaker 5 (36:24):
We respond from home to answer some of the chat
comments I saw before too. We don't have sleeping quarters
and I work the overnight shift, so I sleep during
my shift, get out of bed when a call comes in,
drive to the building and take an ambulance to the
seame scene. This is typical of volunteer organizations. Paid EMS
is more likely to have sleeping quarters or even require
EMTs to be in the truck throughout their shift.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
Community based EMS is.

Speaker 5 (36:46):
More likely to take nine one one calls and respond
to emergencies, whether paid or volunteers. Private EMS is likely
to take transport requests such as to and from dialysis
or chemotherapy, as well as the hospital to nursing facility
discharge to those who have told me that I don't
have the right to use the word life saving. On
my dress uniform, I have pins for three defibrillator saves

(37:08):
and four CPR saves.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
I've crawled into a car wreck.

Speaker 5 (37:12):
I've crawled into a car wreck to open someone's airway
and bag.

Speaker 2 (37:15):
Them until we could get them out.

Speaker 5 (37:17):
While transporting a patient, I recognize silence of an internal
injury and ordered we divert to a trauma center where
he was put directly into surgery that changed his life.
Did I do those things entirely by myself? Yes, no,
of course not. I would never claim that I was
the sole reason someone lived. However, I am, at my
very basis level as vital a link in the chain

(37:38):
of survival. So while I can't claim credit for any
of the things that I've done, I would certainly put
a lot of blame on myself if someone didn't live
because of something I failed to do. I have a
full time job that I work eight to five Monday
Friday outs Monday to Friday outside of EMS. That is
why I volunteer on the night shift. My wife works
as a payroll manager for a mid sized office earned

(37:59):
I earned about ten thousand dollars a.

Speaker 2 (38:00):
Year more than her.

Speaker 5 (38:01):
We've been married for two years, and when I lived
on my own before we were married, she didn't move
into the apartment until we got engaged, so I think
to her that was my place, not ours, and she
didn't really touch my things. I was with another EMS
organization until we moved to a new town after our engagement.
When we bought the house, I joined the local volunteer
squad as an EMT. My wife regards my job as
part of my identity, while she sees the EMS as

(38:24):
something I volunteer to do. She would say, this is
my husband, he is job title. Not this is my
husband he is an EMT. And we have an update.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
I want to poll.

Speaker 5 (38:35):
Poll not if you think they should divorce or not?
If you predict divorce? NA, are we predicting divorce?

Speaker 2 (38:42):
NA?

Speaker 5 (38:42):
Are we predicting divorce or not? Dakota, I am curious
what your predictions are.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
I vote yes, you vote yes, I vote definitely divorce.

Speaker 5 (38:51):
I think it might take a lot for him to well.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
I think he absorbs all the opinions of the internet,
and they mostly go, hey, I think your a wife
means like therapy. If you guys are gonna stay together,
she needs to figure out how to be healthier about
this stuff. Yeah, about that learning that there's such a
thing as a gray area, and that just saying sorry
doesn't mean that you're just like flee. Oh nothing you've
ever done is wrong Now because I said sorry, I resolved,

(39:16):
it's okay. Yeah. I think she's gonna go no, what
are you a baby? And then he's gonna go okay, goodbye. Yep. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (39:22):
So if our eighty two percent of chat is saying
that Opie will divorce, but we got an update, Amen, brother,
here we go, let's go.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
My wife and I started talking again.

Speaker 5 (39:32):
We had a very serious conversation, and I did apologize
for what I did to her running shoes. Then I
told her that I had to speak some truth, and
I wanted her to promise me that she wasn't going
to roll her eyes, interrupt me, scoff or get sarcastic
with me, which she did. I told her that I
was not kidding about my boots. That while most of
the time I caught geriatric transports balls nausea, there were
other instances where a response time was of the essence

(39:55):
and I didn't have time to play around with my
boots in the middle of tonight. I told her that
there have been times where my intervention has been critical
in saving a life, when my training has helped me
recognize an underlying emergency, or when a call I made
ensured that a patient was prioritized upon arrival at the hospital.
I explained that a lot of crap I see I
don't tell her about because I don't want to give
her nightmares or make her worry about me. She actually

(40:17):
listened and didn't dismiss what I had to say. She
responded that she was trying to help by keeping things neat.
I responded, but you're not, sweetie. I'm not trying to
be mean, but you're not helping. You're hindering me. One day,
it may be the difference between life and death. I
need you to not touch my gear. It's where I
know it is. It's where I can easily find it

(40:37):
in a short amount of time, and if you move it,
you're impeding an emergency process. I don't care if it
looks neat. It serves a function, it doesn't look pretty.
You want to help me, please leave my gear where
I put it. A few nights later, I had my friend,
Officer Rich come over. Officer Rich was one of the
two cops that did CPR that night on the victim.
The three of us sat on a deck had a
few social distancing bus He talked about getting there, doing

(41:00):
the CPR, giving narcan, waiting for the ambulance, and getting
her back. Shortly before we got there, he pulled out
a few of the photos of car accidents that I
had work. He showed them to my wife and pointed out,
this car went into a tree, your husband crawled into
the wreck, put a collar on the driver and stayed
in there while giving him oxygen until we could get
him out. Dude, Oh, your husband pulled a three year

(41:21):
old out of this wreck.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
I hope it's just ex husband though, it's like this person,
I don't care. There's certain things where it's like I
don't If you don't get this, like I don't, I
have no time in my life or my heart for you. Dude. Yeah,
if you don't get like, don't touch my stuff because
I'm trying to save a light like lives and you
still do it. And then you're like, ooh, you're so overreacting.
You yelled at me. I thought you were gonna kill me.

(41:44):
It's like, all right, leave bye, goodbye. Yelled at you,
Okay bye. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (41:47):
We we even still in this, like in the most
like the best conversation they've had a quote unquote that
they've had so far. I feel like she's still she's
just like, oh, I just want to keep him meet.

Speaker 2 (41:57):
It's like, no, don't. You're not listen. You're not like
or at least you're not like acknowledging you know.

Speaker 5 (42:04):
Anyways, So your husband, your husband recognized that the driver
had a stroke and took her to a stroke center.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
Which literally which likely saved her life. After that, I told.

Speaker 5 (42:13):
Her I had something I wanted to show her, and
I asked her for the same promise I'd ask for earlier.
When she agreed, I showed her a video on YouTube
of a police bodycam from an od The video showed
how critical time is in getting someone back and the
training someone goes through in order to give someone that assistance,
do CPR and.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
Utilize a AED.

Speaker 5 (42:32):
I told her, I'm not trying to attack you. I
don't want to have a fight, but I want you
to understand what I go through. That I hope every
call I go on is transporting a booboo, because otherwise
it means that if I don't do everything right, someone
could pass away. If I don't get at that door
as quickly as possible, someone could suffer brain damage while
they're waiting for me to give them oxygen. If I'm
upset and shaking because I had to waste time opening

(42:53):
my boots, I might miss something critical and someone might
not make it. She acknowledged that she understood and told
me that she hadn't really thought about the danger of
what I had to do until the other night when
she saw the photos of the Rex.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
Again. This is like I've said, I've used this example before.
I broke up with someone because they didn't know there
were two world wars, but they knew about World War Two.
They knew that World War two existed, but they didn't
know they were two world wars. And after that came
to light, I said, I can't. I can't. I can't
keep dating you. I can't. I didn't make it about that,
but in my own head I was like, oh my god,

(43:26):
this is so over. I can't. And this is one
of those moments where it's like, what did you think
you think we wrote around the neighborhood giving people candy
and lollipops? Like what what did you think? The EMT
did well?

Speaker 5 (43:39):
And well, the thing is he's already explained to her, like, hey,
this is life or death.

Speaker 2 (43:43):
He said it. He said it's so many like oh man.

Speaker 5 (43:45):
So I told her that I think she has OCD
and needs to see a therapist because it's hurting our marriage.
I listed examples of her throwing important things out, moving
things without permission, and messing with my gear. I offered
to go together in staid I'd be willing to work
on things together. After I point out the pattern, she
agreed that it was time to speak to someone. She
wants to think about whether she wants to go together
or go by herself. But she promised me that she's

(44:07):
going to try to change her patterns. I brought up
her saying she thought I was going to hit her,
and she acknowledged that she'd been with guys who flew
off the handle with little provocation and scared her that
she'd never seen ME get that angry, and it triggered
her because she didn't think I was capable of blowing
up like that, which I I will give her that,
like like how you you had this reaction and I

(44:27):
was afraid. I totally get it out. But it's like
all of the other all of the other things we
need to address it, acknowledge and like truly truly, like that's.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
I would understand this, or if it was if it
had nothing to do with her, like it's it's her
literally just being like poke poke poke poke poke poke
poke poke. And then the most annoying thing I've straight
up ever heard, which is after tying the boots over
and over and over again, he's trying to go on
that call and he's untying the boots, like, and she goes,
shouldn't be like going to that. Oh my god, I

(44:55):
would have disintegrated. Actually. So however, all this to say,
I also really question her ability to be truthful based
on what we're hearing. Yeah, because she's seeing a lot
of stuff that is just actual nonsense. I think I
think you totally could be right.

Speaker 5 (45:10):
I think I think she might be just kind of
giving maybe O people he wants to hear in this
moment or something like that. Also, Alina says trauma responses
are so scary. I think think like, I think I
kind of view her response to that and this like
in a vacuum a little bit. But it's like she
just again she just doesn't acknowledge. It doesn't seem to
me like she actually friendly gets it.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
Now.

Speaker 5 (45:29):
She's been very emotional lately and has been going through moodswings.
She's been worried about me going out on calls. The
other day she started crying and said, I hope you
know how much I appreciate what you do.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
You know what I appreciate? Oh, I have a feeling
I do I appreciate people.

Speaker 5 (45:42):
They go to Spotify, Apple and iHeart and search Okay,
story time and listen to it because it's there for
you to listen to pleasure while you're doing the dishes.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
Two thousand episodes. It's a treasure trove.

Speaker 5 (45:54):
Of content that you literally would have to spend fifty
three fifty four days listening straight too. I wish other
other shit I listened to you had fifty four days
straight of content that ichlists.

Speaker 2 (46:02):
Do you know? I think there's there's a conspiracy out
there were up to fifty eight Wow, regardless, is this
really a divorced situation? Like I can't say that because
I'm not in it, but like, I don't think. I
think this is something that would fundamentally shift the way
I look at my wife and I don't know if
it'll ever go back.

Speaker 5 (46:24):
I think like if I'm if I'm in op shoes,
I'm like, oh, I literally can't communicate with this person
because I'll literally say something and something very serious and
it'll just be complete, whether it's ignored, whether she doesn't
understand whatever the means of it not being received, she's
not gonna receive. It will be completely misaligned, and it's
just going to cause all kinds of all kinds of

(46:47):
Uh right, we still have a little bit of the
story left. We'll see knock on wood. Since we've had
the big talk, she hasn't touched my boots. Is everything resolved?
Not by a log shot, that's what Hope actually said,
but she seems avenue of appreciation for what I do.
Thank you for all your responses. I wound up not
showing her the thread because it was a lot of
pretty harsh things towards her. I recognize I cherry picked

(47:08):
incidents that didn't put her in the best light. And
there's a lot more to her in our marriage than that.
She is the person I chose to the rest of
my life, and I want us to work.

Speaker 2 (47:16):
Oooh all right, divor wow wow, Okay, yeah, dude, okay,
but that's the end of that story. That's it.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
Hey, it's Sam your ogi host here reading it. Back
to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsor.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
He cheated on me while I was pregnant. I don't
need him.

Speaker 4 (47:33):
You don't need him, that's right, gig about.

Speaker 2 (47:36):
You don't need that piece of trash.

Speaker 4 (47:39):
No one needs them.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
In April, when I was twelve weeks pregnant, I found
out that my female twenty eight husband male twenty eight,
had recently started cheating on me with a girl at
his work, and I still haven't gotten over. And by
the way, this comes from someone who's not a trash person.
It comes from user falling for you and on on
on the r slash Okay, storytime subredding. We've been married

(48:01):
since summer of twenty eighteen, but together since summer of
twenty fourteen. It's nearly our nine year anniversary now, and
I'm currently thirty weeks pregnant with our first child. I
always thought that if my partner ever cheated on me,
I would be out the door in a hurry, because
it's a type of disrespect I could never stand for. However,
I never thought it would happen to me, let alone,

(48:22):
after I had put eight and a half years into
this man, plus a house, two cars, two dogs, a cat,
and a baby we both wanted for as many years
at that point. I know I am more sensitive right
now due to the pregnancy, but it's now August and
I am so tired of waking up hurting every day.
After I found out about the cheating, I confronted him

(48:43):
and he admitted that he had started sleeping with her
and at the time had done so three times. I
was in my first trimester, and he knew how sick.
I had been literally spending all day every day barfin
my morning sickness lasted until about dinner time usually and sleepin'
hope he's just barfing and sleeping. He has a job
that has always kept him pretty busy, but he would

(49:04):
always check in with me throughout the day. I work
from home and am self employed, making much less money
than him, but was something we had discussed in depth
after the loss of my first pregnancy and agreed that
me being home and dealing with the house in pets
was something we should try. Plus we both wanted me
to be a stay at home mom for whenever we
did have a baby, so while I made less, it
was something we fully agreed on together. When he would

(49:27):
check in, it was always so sweet. He called me
in between meetings on the road driving anytime he was free,
and he would text me to announce his safe arrival
every time he had to go anywhere. It was never
a burden that I asked for him to check in,
because we both just naturally wanted to talk to each
other all the time during free moments in the day,
which is how our relationship had been for the entire duration.

(49:49):
There was no asking at all. Really, it's just how
it was with us. I gave him another chance when
I confronted him because I was so blindsided. It didn't
make sense to me, and now it still doesn't. But
I was twelve weeks along with a baby I had
been wishing for for years. We struggled with conception, and
I had a vision in my head of our family
that I couldn't let go up. We agreed that he

(50:11):
would go into work and end it with her the
next morning, which he didn't think would be an issue
because it was just the passest sleep and they had
no feelings involved. Yeah, oh that makes it okay. Yeah,
you can cheat on your well pregnant wife, well pregnant wife.
I didn't feel anything emotionally.

Speaker 4 (50:28):
So's fine.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
I'm actually in the clear. I'm actually a cold hearted psychopath, so.

Speaker 4 (50:32):
I have no emotions at all.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
Let it be known that this girl knew about me,
and I had stopped in at his office many times
for lunch visits with my husband, and he had photos
of me on his computer and desk so they were
constant reminders that I was real for the both of them.
He told me in later conversations that before the affair started,
she would joke with him that I'm too hot for
him and she planned on stealing me away. She apparently

(50:58):
is by with a heavy lean towards women, and when
my husband would talk about her before the affairs, I
was told she was lesbian and that he and all
the guys at work besides one found her highly unattractive.
What happened when he ended it with her is I
guess she took it all right, left and then a
few hours later came back and begged him not to
leave her. He told me that she was crying and

(51:19):
clinging onto him, and there was something about abandonment issues
that I truthfully do not care about because I was
his partner of almost nine years and carrying his child.

Speaker 4 (51:29):
Letterly, who cares about this girl? You are their party, babe.

Speaker 2 (51:34):
She has abandonman issues, babe? Was I supposed to do?

Speaker 4 (51:39):
She would have been really upset if I had left her.

Speaker 2 (51:41):
Do you know I was trying to be nice?

Speaker 5 (51:44):
Nah?

Speaker 2 (51:44):
Don't you want a nice husband like you?

Speaker 4 (51:46):
Can't?

Speaker 3 (51:47):
You can't be mad that you started dating a spade
if you knew it was a spade.

Speaker 2 (51:51):
He told me that he had ended their relationship. Next
he went on to get tested. There was no crossover
at all while this was going on, and he was clean.
He showed me all the test results, as this was
an important stipulation obviously. For the next month, I watched
him leave early morning and broke down as soon as
he left, sometimes begging before he went to work for
him to call and sick and stay home with me.

(52:13):
I was a wreck. We had a vacation plan for
months before coming up in May, and I somehow thought
it would be good for us to get away and
just be the two of us. I was counting down
the seconds until that trip, keeping everything I was going
through just to myself and quickly deteriorating. In that month,
I lost twenty two pounds because I could not eat,

(52:34):
and every time I did, I would barf. My husband
watched me in agony, a complete shell of who I
once was, trying to grow our child and not being
able to stomach food literally at all. It got so
bad that my whole face broke out and what looked
like hives from how hard my body was trying to
throw up when there was nothing left inside me. Every day,
like the little blood vessels popped all over my skin
from sobbing and puking all day.

Speaker 3 (52:55):
O'spen aten separation from this man, because clearly, like even
if you know, oh, it's like, oh, I don't know
if I can do it alone right now. Your safety
and your health is at risk because of him, So
you need to get out of there.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
Yeah, one hundred percent. We went on our trip what
girl Girl Hospital. I hope it was a trip to
the hospital, and it was painful. There were good times,
but also I was still so broken and I had
no trust in him this whole month long period. I
felt something was still off, but he gave me access
to his phone and I would check it in front
of him, and also whenever he was asleep or in

(53:27):
the shower, just to be sure. After the vacation, it
got really really bad for me. The intuition in my
head that I felt back in April had never really
gone away, but it was so incredibly loud that I
felt like I was going crazy. He was telling me
he loved me, reassuring me that it was really over
with her and that he was going to be a
good husband to me and the best father to our daughter.
No matter how much I wanted to believe him, there

(53:48):
was something in me telling me he was lying. While
he showered one morning, I went into the bathroom to
pee and his phone was sitting on his pile of
work clothes for when he got out. I grabbed it
and brought it with me while I peed, thinking it
would be like every other time where I looked at
his phone and found nothing. Instead, in his WhatsApp there
was a thread of messages with her from the night before. Well,

(54:09):
you need to leave him. I guess he proved you
wrong now, like it's literally.

Speaker 3 (54:12):
Not helping you out all to be with us. Man,
I feel like she's somewhat staying with him for the kid.

Speaker 4 (54:17):
But you need to leave him for the kid.

Speaker 2 (54:19):
Yeah, A hundred percent day before it was a long
workday for him, something I dreaded even before the affair,
because being apart from him for crazy hours made me
miss him, but I knew there was no way to
avoid it. I remember I had offered to bring him
food for lunch even though we lived an hour away
from the office, and he told me not to worry
about driving that he'll bribe one of the guys into
bringing him something so I didn't have to waste the

(54:40):
gas money. In reality, she was bringing him lunch and
he was texting her about it at the same time
he was texting me. Those texts haunt me so badly.
Even now she has told him I missed you and
he replied the same. So clearly they had only progressed
more in the last month.

Speaker 4 (54:57):
I thought it wasn't emotional. I thought it was just
a physical relationship.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
This guy has already earned the black hole treatment for me. Yeah,
when she was bringing him lunch, he told her I
just want you and a burgher. And then there was
some hours later messages where they laughed about getting everyone
out of the office and conspicuously so they could be alone,
and she said, now I get to have you. And
reading those messages sixteen weeks pregnant and the first thing
in the morning quite literally made me want to cease existing.

(55:23):
When confronted, he promised me that they didn't have the
spie to sleep, even though it sounded like it would
happen in those messages, but that he has still been
sleeping with her, just not that day. I guess the
horrible thing to have to read for OP. I just,
oh yeah, it's like the most nightmare text was making
my stomach flip even thinking about this man. This was

(55:43):
back in May. I left him the next day, yes
after I confronted him again and he admitted that he
never actually stopped. He tried, and his story was half true.
He says that when he spoke with her, she came
back crying and begging and then apparently forced him into
an empty office where she tried to add some I
say things to him. He promised me that he stopped
her and shoved her away. Lie, but that she had

(56:05):
gotten his pants down and gotten this This is the
dumbest lie of all time. Okay, well, was like, uh,
nothing happened, It's just one time my pants were accidentally.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
Seems like he's a freaking liar. And he's like, oh yeah,
she pulled my pants down and we had a little
bit of spicy to sleep.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
But uh so he says nothing happened that day. He
swore to me, but that in his mind it was
over then, because in our initial conversation I told him
I would give him a second chance, but if he
did this again, I would leave him. He counted this
as doing it again, even though when he broke down
and told me this, it sounded more like she did
the SA on him while he was saying no, rather
than him cheating another time. Which again I'm fully convinced

(56:43):
this guy's lying, but he didn't see it that way
at the time and thought I'd leave if he told me,
and figured he might as well not stop if I
was just going to find out and leave him in
the long run, because he had already messed up. Now
fast forward to August. I've been living alone since May.
I left him the day after I found out the
second time, going to stay with my aunt for a
few days with my dogs. I ended up coming back
to the house and kicking him out because it didn't

(57:05):
seem fair to me that everyone besides him had to suffer.

Speaker 4 (57:08):
Yeah, fine, job, get your house, take that ouse, gehady.

Speaker 3 (57:12):
I hope he has to go find like a full
of new house, and you get the house, and you
get all the money and we never have to see
him again.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
Me being pregnant and hauling around two six year old
dogs who are very used to being homebodies and were
confused and stop eating due to this dress plus our cat,
who has deeply bonded to me and is used to
me being home with her all day, was now left
alone while he was working for ten plus hours, and
all of our animals, our friends, So it was really
effed up for everyone but my husband, who was the
one who did the wrong thing. Anyways. So now I'm

(57:39):
thirty weeks pregnant, preparing to sell our house and move
back into my dad's house with the three animals and
my daughter when she's born, and I'm still so so hurt.
I really felt like this man was the love of
my life and my soulmate. All of our friends who
I've spoken to about our separation. I cannot afford a
lawyer until the house sells, and I'm unfortunately a sorry
excuse of a woman and sob whenever I think of

(58:00):
the word divorce, even though I know that has to
be the one of the steps I take down the line.
I have been absolutely shocked due to how out of
character this was of him. We were known as the
couple that could handle anything together. My family was the
same way because of how wonderful my husband was to
me for eight and a half years. He was so
emotionally supportive and sweet, and I like to think I

(58:20):
was to him as well. I lost my mom, who
was my best friend, and we together lost our first child,
and he dealt with going no contact with his mother,
and we were truly each other's rock for so long
through all of those moments, just to name a few.
And I'm carrying his daughter, who I love deeply already.
I know he hurt me and changed me as a person,
but it's so incredibly hard to forget the years of

(58:41):
happiness I had with him and see that they're seemingly
over now. The crappy thing is I would probably take
him back if he came to me and set all
the right things and made the right promises and made
me believe him. But instead I live alone, while growing
this baby and taking care of the animals we pick
and have raised for six and two years together, dealing
with this trauma by myself, and he is all but

(59:01):
living with the girl he cheated on me with. Every
time I drive past his apartment, her car is there
sometimes when even his car is gone.

Speaker 4 (59:08):
Obviously, you know, when there is kind of like an
asset thing, you can have kind of emotional trauma. But
I think going based off of his past lies and
his behavior, the fact that he's living with her, like
he definitely lied about that.

Speaker 2 (59:22):
Of course he would lie about that because he's a
liar with no conscience for his lies. And it was
like the most like first grade, like, how did you
get myself out of this?

Speaker 6 (59:31):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (59:31):
Yeah, it wasn't me at all, It was just all her. Yeah,
And then grazed my knee and I was like, oh,
I remember if she said that I touched her again,
it would be over. So I just decided to then
fully cheat on you. What he promises that she doesn't
have a key, and that when the baby is born,
she won't get in the way of him being a father.
She hates children and babies, cats and dogs, so clearly

(59:54):
she's a super great person on top of knowingly effing
a married man. But at this point, it's been months
of him knowing he's hurting me, still publicly married. His
friends have no idea about any of this. Only our
mutual friends and my family know any of what's happened.
Though not with all the details I've put in this post,
I should mention that when I did come face to
face with this girl, only once she laughed at what

(01:00:14):
she had done. Ooh, and when I told her that
she broke apart my family and took my daughter's father
away before she was even born, she literally shrugged and muttered, yeah, I.

Speaker 4 (01:00:22):
Know, cheesy evil.

Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
I only say this because I know people will say
not to blame me a fair partner, but only blame
my husband, who was the one who broke his vows
to me. But I fully blamed them both.

Speaker 4 (01:00:33):
The person who broke the vow with you is the
person that you should direct your ire the full like
anger and argument should be directed towards your partner. But
you know her, and you had a conversation with her.

Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
You're allowed to be mad at her and direct some
ire towards her.

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
Some yea all, she knew what she was doing, and
so did he, and she seems to like knowing how
powerful she was in this situation. He tells me often
that he doesn't want to end our relationship, that right
now he isn't right for me, that he can't be
who he was because he effed up so badly that
he doesn't know how to fix it. And now he's

(01:01:08):
saying that going with monogamy just isn't for him, even
though he and his affair partner are living together, recreating
the life we had, living very obviously in monogamy.

Speaker 4 (01:01:18):
No, he's just.

Speaker 3 (01:01:18):
Saying he doesn't want to do monogamy because he wants
an excuse to like cheat on this girl too.

Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
He's a bad he's a bad lier, worst liar. So
it hurts so much because he's already replaced me with her,
some twenty year old girl is sleeping beside my husband
and having meals with him and sitting in his passenger seat.
It just isn't how my life was supposed to go.
I wish so much that I could stay firm on
hating him, because, trust me, I do, and I've had

(01:01:44):
several hours over the last few months where I make
sure he knows what he did to me and how
much I hate him for ruining the woman I was
before this betrayal. But I also love him still and
I want the family I was all but promised we
couldn't get pregnant for nearly three years, and the month
I I did get pregnant, I literally told him if
it doesn't happen for us, it doesn't happen. I wanted
to be a mom, but if it's not in the cards,

(01:02:06):
I will come to terms with it, and I know
I can be fulfilled in our relationship without a baby.
And then I shockingly did get pregnant, and I felt
like it was all falling into place finally, that we
would be happy and us like I pictured, but now
with a little baby we both day dreamed about for years.
I'm really unsure how Reddit works, and I know this
post is so long, so no one probably read it,

(01:02:26):
and I don't really know why I wrote it here. Anyways,
I know in this situation, he's in the wrong, and
I don't need anyone to point that out to me.
And I also don't want anyone calling me names for
still loving this man who had disrespected and mistreated me
so immensely over the last four months. It's just coming
up on our anniversary and I'm desperately lonely in this
quiet house that I now have to pack up all

(01:02:47):
by myself, and I wanted a place to put my feelings.
If you comment, please be nice. I feel stupid and
weak enough as it is. I've been with him since
we were both barely nineteen, and moved straight from my
childhood home into an apartment with him. I've not spent
a single adult year alone, and I'm just really sad
all the time and don't know what to do. I
try to go no contact with him, but we're selling
a house and am in my third trimester with his baby.

(01:03:10):
I just hate him and I hate myself. I want
him to wake up and see what he's doing, but
I don't think he ever will because he has to
avoid the accountability of his actions. Yeah, don't wait for that,
that'll never happen. And don't hate yourself because you haven't
done anything wrong with your It's not like I could
ever trust him again anyways, But now I have to
co parent a child with him for the next several years,
and I don't feel strong enough for any of the

(01:03:31):
future anymore. I don't know how he could do this
to me. Tiodr. I am a sad, pregnant lady who
doesn't know how to move on from my husband of
nearly a decade cheating on me, and I needed a
place to share what I'm going through. And we do
have some comments.

Speaker 3 (01:03:43):
Regardless of how much time you're with someone, whether it's
one month or nine years, there's gotta be a time
period of just getting over them and sometimes it feels irrational.
Sometimes you're like thinking about a person for two months
and you're like, why am I still thinking about them?
It takes time. Grief is not a linear thing.

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
Yeah, comments Happy Banana one three four. I am a sad,
pregnant lady who doesn't know how to move on for
my husband of nearly a decade cheating on me. You
need to add in strong. Seriously, you're super strong. Deciding
to leave is really really hard, and you've absolutely done
the right thing here. Things are going to seem bleak,
but they will get better. One day it'll hurt less,
and then one day it won't hurt at all. He

(01:04:20):
is the one losing here. He's thrown away a loyal
partner and what could have been a happy family unit.
All you've lost is someone you could never trust. Op
He says. It's very hard for me to feel strong
because it seems like this is the only thing I
can think about every day. So thank you. It's difficult
not to be hard on myself in this situation, but
I do think you are right. I know that he
is the one losing here. I just wish my daughter

(01:04:41):
could have the life we both wanted for hers. For
so many years, but he decided to ruin it for
her nihilistic fish stick. I wanted you to know I
read every word. You're a human being and nobody reasonable
would expect you to be a robot. I left my
relationship of twenty one years almost three years ago, and
even though I ended it for my own own mental
health and for my kids and have a fantastic partner now,

(01:05:03):
there isn't a day that goes by that I don't
get a random thought about him. The conversations we had,
our routine, the dinners he cooked, the intimacy we had,
all the family videos are still way in the back
of my phone's gallery to this day. Your feelings are
completely normal and it will get better. I promise you
are the main priority at the moment, and you have
to keep being strong to get yourself ready to move
on and be there for your baby girl. The hard

(01:05:24):
part is over, friend, and you survived it. You got this,
OPI says. I hope that one day I will be
able to find a fantastic partner who will show my
daughter the way a woman is supposed to be treated.
I really thought I had that already, or else I
wouldn't have pro created with him. Your story gives me hope.
I'm in no place to go looking being seven months pregnant,
moving and emotionally fed up beyond belief. But maybe one

(01:05:45):
day and by the way, one day could be today,
could be tomorrow, could be every day for the rest
of your life, for every day, every week, as long
as it's a week day. Yeah, you can join us
when we go live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok and Twitch
at three p mpst. All you have to do is
tap on our profile and you're in the live top ben.
If you're watching this in the future, you might even

(01:06:07):
be live right now. Check update ten months later if
you don't want to read the whole post. The synopsis
is essentially that my husband cheated on me after eight
and a half years together while I was twelve weeks
pregnant with our first child. That was a great synopsis. Ope.
It's now June eleventh and my daughter just turned eight
months old. My water broke and I drove myself to

(01:06:28):
the hospital and then labored and gave birth alone. Who
My daughter was born two weeks early only, and she
was completely healthy and had no issues. She's doing amazing
and the love I have for her is so all
encompassing that sometimes I don't even know what to do.
She is a great baby and is so loved by
not just myself, but my dad, my brothers, my aunt.

(01:06:49):
She's adored by my whole family, and because we lived
with my dad, her birth has brought all of us
closer together than we've been in a long long time.
I absolutely love being her mom. My ex husband was
served divorce papers in February by my dad, who volunteered
to be the one to do it, and our divorce
was finalized in May. The way that my feelings for
him changed almost in an instant after I had given

(01:07:12):
birth to my daughter was shocking. But it was like,
as soon as she was born, just the thought of
this man disgusted and no.

Speaker 3 (01:07:18):
And sometimes there is that weird switch where, like you
find out information or something like this happens where you'd
give birth to a child and you're like, oh, I
actually hate that man, Yeah, I actually hate that person.
I don't know why I was so hung up over them.

Speaker 2 (01:07:30):
Psychological switch flipped. He visits for about an hour a week,
once a week, and has done that since she's been bored.
We have a parenting plan in the works, but every
time it's drawn up by my lawyer, he finds something
else that's wrong with it and chooses not to sign.
It's been very irritating having to deal with this man
who I once loved and now don't recognize, and watch
as he pretends on social media that he is an active,

(01:07:52):
attentive father when I've done quite literally everything for this
baby and he does the barest minimum he can get
away with. The next part may be very shocking, but
the girl he cheated on me with and moved into
an apartment with directly from our marital home, ended up
cheating on him literally within the same week that our
divorce finalized. It took about a year, but he did
come back groveling after all, which was absolutely wild to me.

(01:08:14):
Now for the actual shocking part of this update.

Speaker 4 (01:08:17):
I have met a man.

Speaker 2 (01:08:21):
Oh yeah, get the After spending my entire pregnancy alone
and heartbroken, I had sworn off men in relationships, and
then this one just kind of appeared in my life.
I have horrible trust issues now, and it's been really
really hard considering the deep betrayal that happened to me
last year. But my boyfriend is the most gentle, calm,

(01:08:42):
understanding guy I could have found. We met when my
daughter was two months old, and he started taking me
on little weekend dates for just a couple hours at
a time, and was always very considerate of me having
a newborn, which he reassured me several times over that
was not an issue and he actually has experience working
with kids in the past. And then in March we
had the conversation and find the relationship. In these past

(01:09:02):
six months, he has met my family and has become
one of my daughter's favorite people.

Speaker 4 (01:09:07):
Yay. Oh, I'm so happy. What a positive twist to
this story it is.

Speaker 2 (01:09:11):
I was like, is this gonna be the first story
where we're like, ah, it's not a good one. No,
we have like all good bangers for stories. Today, I've
met his brother and sister in law, and when his
parents come into town later this month, he's introducing me
and we're all getting dinner together. I feel lucky to
have this man in my life and a stable father
figure for my daughter, and I'm really hoping he is
actually who he's been showing me he is. Obviously, when

(01:09:33):
my ex husband came to apologize and cry for what
he'd done to me. I was already very locked in
with my boyfriend. But even if I hadn't been, the
answer would have been a big n oh.

Speaker 4 (01:09:42):
Because you did the work.

Speaker 3 (01:09:44):
You did the self work to get over this man,
and you know, sort out your own life and your
own you know, self love journey, and I.

Speaker 2 (01:09:51):
Don't need them. Our house has not sold yet, and
I'm kind of losing my mind about that, but there's
nothing to really be done to help that matter. I
know this may sound like revenge corn on the cob,
but I promise it's not. Karma has just been working
hard for me and my little bean. My boyfriend dotes
on us and makes me believe in love again. He's
so handsome and so sweet and the complete opposite of
who my ex husband ended up being. I am really

(01:10:14):
hoping he's a good egg because I accidentally fell in
love with him when I didn't mean to. But I
do now know that I was strong enough to leave
a marriage with a baby on the way, So if
he does end up scroomy over I, now I'll be
strong enough to leave him too. You don't need a man, Nope,
don't need no man.

Speaker 4 (01:10:29):
You don't need a man.

Speaker 2 (01:10:30):
The fact that my ex is a fair partner cheated
on him absolutely tickles me, to be completely honest. I'm
still living with my dad and two dogs and a
cat that he abandoned me with during my pregnancy, but honestly,
it could absolutely be worse. My dad helps as much
as he can and loves his grandbaby so much, and
it's been so sweet watching him turn into this absolute
softy of a grandpa. I don't know if anyone remembers

(01:10:52):
me or my post, or if this update is necessary
at all, but here it is. I am big time
not in love with a guy who cheated on me
me and is an absent father to the baby I
grew all on my own and raise all on my
own TLDR. I'm a single mother with a gorgeous baby girl,
and we're both doing really really well while I watch
my cheating ex husband's life slowly crumble into pieces. Zah,

(01:11:14):
I love it. Yes, you have to see it, and
we do have some comments.

Speaker 4 (01:11:17):
That's freedom.

Speaker 2 (01:11:18):
Libby's mom says, yay, you not only landed on your feet,
but he got a taste of his own medicine. A
truly satisfying update. Ben Zoma says, it's not irony when
if they cheated with you, they'll cheat on you comes
to pass, but it sure is hilarious and satisfying to see. Congrats, Ope,
keep on living your best life, and some mowers says,
good job you survived. It's all gravy from now on.

(01:11:40):
He pretends on social media that he's an active, attentive father.
Can you get some relative to be on watch out
and shoot him down every time he still hasn't even
signed a parenting plan or sold the house. Good luck,
you can do this. I believe in you. And that
is the end of that story.

Speaker 4 (01:11:56):
Wealth.

Speaker 2 (01:11:57):
Okay, I can see that my mind's eye right now.
Oh wow, that guy's hot. Dang, that guy was so
hot that one

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My friend’s husband PRETENDED to be her… to ask me to be their “third”! - r/okstorytime | Reddit Stories | EP2185

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My friend’s husband PRETENDED to be her… to ask me to be their “third”! - r/okstorytime | Reddit Stories | EP2185