My girlfriend CHEATED on me… her parents took her back to their country! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story
Time podcast host.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Oh yeah, and we got some great stories coming up.

Speaker 3 (00:06):
But before that, we get a teeny two minute break
from the sponsors that keep the show propped up like
a little house.

Speaker 4 (00:12):
Oh ye, my girlfriend cheated on me and her parents
took her back to their country. Good girlfriend and I
have been together for six years since we met at
orientation week in university.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
We were each other's.

Speaker 4 (00:25):
First ever relationship, kiss, spicy, related relationship, et cetera. We've
had a largely uneventful relationship, many many ups and some downs,
but we worked through it as we grew up from
being teens into young graduates and professionals. By the way,
this comes from throw Me two thousand and if you
will smit your own stories, go to the rs slash

(00:47):
Okay Storytime supperate it. So last year, around October she
cheated on me. I was in my final year of
medical school. For six months prior, I was overseas for rotations.
Then when I came back, I studied and crammed for
a month for my final exams. During that time, our
relationship was very strained, firstly by the distance and then

(01:08):
by my exams. During the rough patch. She befriended her
coworker in the pharmacy she works at. On the day
she cheated, it was a couple of days before my finals.
We had a fight in the morning about me waking
her up after I got in at four am from
the library. She said I was neglecting her and not
considering her needs. I apologize for being so stressed out

(01:30):
and not being a good boyfriend for the last few weeks.
She said she was frustrated and we'd have a serious
talk after her work. She went off to work, then
decided to have some drinks with her coworkers. She got
schwated and ended up having some spicy times with one
of the guys in the toilets of a bar. She
freaked out and called a mutual friend, who picked her up.

(01:52):
She then immediately confessed to me what had happened the
same night, and she was genuinely shaken and crying about
the incident. At that point, I was just numb and
frazzled from studying. I completely blocked all my feelings out
and focused on my final studies. Since that night, she
has been the perfect girlfriend. She resigned from her old work,
which she really enjoyed. She has been completely understanding and

(02:15):
tolerated me, even when I was so cold to initially.
After the discovery, she has been an absolute saint and
has been trying her hardest to save the relationship. The
problem is, I just can't get myself to give a
crap about any of it. And that's okay, you don't
have to. It doesn't really matter how hard a person
tries after they cheat on you, because they still cheated

(02:37):
on you and you're still allowed to go. I can't
forgive you for that, no matter what you do.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
That's fine.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
Yeah, if you close your eyes and the first thing
you see isn't like her giving you a hug, it's
her in the bathroom with her, Okay, Yeah, it's gonna
be hard to come back from that.

Speaker 4 (02:53):
When she first told me, I was numb to the
whole thing. Since then, I haven't experienced any strong emotions.
I just can't seem to give an f about it.
I'm not angry at her, but when I see her,
all I feel is discussed. I know rationally she is
doing everything right and is being so understanding, but even
then I can't seem to muster any emotion for me
other than disgust and indifference. She's tried to kiss me.

(03:17):
I have spicy sleep since the incident, and all I
could manage so far are half hearted hugs. I asked
her not to come to my graduation, which really hurt
her feelings, but she completely abided. Every time I reject
her advances, I see her sadness, and that makes me
feel sad as well. But I can't get myself motivated

(03:38):
to move on from the incident. I know that time
and therapy will help overcome my numbness, but I don't
feel like doing it. I've already lessened in my disgust,
but I feel that even if she were one hundred
percent faithful for the rest of our lives, this incident
will always be in the back of my mind. Also,
I feel relationships shouldn't be this hard this early on.

(03:59):
If we're going going to therapy to deal with the
guilt and resentment in our twenties, I can't imagine how
bad our relationship will be when we are in our thirties,
with the stress of finances and kids, etc. I have
discussed my feelings with girlfriend over the holidays. I've told
her that I feel every other aspect of my life
is fine. I've been getting into shape over the past
two years. I've just started working as a doctor, which

(04:21):
I absolutely love.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
I've got a.

Speaker 4 (04:23):
Good apartment and new friends, etc. The only part of
my life bringing me down is this relationship. However, she
is unwilling to accept a break up. She says she
always she will always fight for us, even if I
don't want to. I've already moved out away from her,
but she always stays over in my new apartment. I
know I could easily just get her keys back and
block her from my apartment, but I feel like that

(04:44):
would be heartless after all the effort she has put in. Dude,
let her go. I've discussed this with my friends and
most agree I should at least try and salvage the relationship.
Your friends are telling you to salvage the relationship.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
They're lying to no lying no no no no no
no no no no no no. That's gotta be like
a He's going to his friends and then he's being like,
I just love her so much, bro, just he's probably
giving them a reason to be like I maybe try try.
He's probably he's definitely framing it in a way where
it's like, well, there's something there.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
But even then I still can't muster the willpower to
actually try. I'm very happy to move on with my life,
but I kind of feel guilty for not trying. So
my question is, should I try and save this relationship,
which is what everyone and my rational part says, or
go with my gut and move on. There is an update, folks,
but uh, I need you to update me with your thoughts.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
In the words of Kimberly, fine, you're just gonna remember
that touts No, I can't even say I can't even
say funny. Can't even say funny. That was so funny.
I can't say it here. But it's like, every time
she does a nice thing for you, it's gonna be
like the principle of like the guy when you're like,
I don't think about elephants, and now you immediately think
about elephants. Every time she does a great thing for you,

(06:02):
you're gonna think back to when she was in you know,
Flute and Tutin's Bar or whatever it was called with Joshmo.

Speaker 4 (06:12):
Joshmo, I feel over at Flute and Tutin Briology says
guaranteed one hundred do.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
You just you just you just leave, you just leave.

Speaker 4 (06:22):
But folks, there's an update. Thanks for the advice everyone.
Several posts really at home. Firstly that she is being
selfish by push by pushing to continue the relationship. Secondly,
my feelings are justified even if my friends keep pushing
for reconciliation. Thirdly, that breaking up is the way to go. Fourthly,
that if I loved her, I would be able to
forgive those want those words, and some introspection got me

(06:46):
to understand that the ambivalence I am feeling towards her
is because I don't love her anymore.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
The moment she cheated.

Speaker 4 (06:52):
Is the moment when all my love was replaced with disgust,
and I'm just wasting both of our time. I realize
the only reason and I hadn't broken up with her
was because I was being meek, lazy, going for the
path with least resistance. Two days ago, I decided a
man up knew indeed, I took the day off work.
I called three mutual friends and they came to my

(07:12):
apartment to pack her stuff up. I then called her
over to visit me after work. She had a half day.
When she came over, I explained to her why I
was breaking up, and then I am giving back her
stuff and the gifts she bought, and will reimburse her
for the Antarctica trip. I told her I don't love
her anymore. All I feel is discussed and it's been
a few months. These feelings won't change and the relationship

(07:34):
has passed away. The relationship is done. She wailed and
cried and said she too.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
Better give her another chance. I'm the only man for her.
We're supposed to get married, have kids, et cetera. Adul't
throw our future away.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
You did that, and not only it's now, I'm also
being like, ugh, are you just doing this because because
I'm going to be a doctor, Like you're like, yeah,
because you're the only one for me, because my life
was gonna be easy, you were gonna make a lot
of money.

Speaker 4 (08:01):
Frankly, all her emotions had no effect on me. I
just couldn't give a single f which just confirmed my
intuition was right. She started causing a scene, so my
mutual friends escorted her out. She took her staff, but
left me her gifts and said she doesn't want my money.
I told her to keep no contact and lose my
number and give me back my house keys. We parted

(08:21):
and I thought that was that. As I said, her
parents are crazy traditional Indians. My dad called me yesterday
to tell me about the shenanigans my ex girlfriend's parents polled.
After I broke up, ex girlfriend went to her parents' house.
Ex girlfriend's dad and two brothers then stormed into my parents' house,
taking talking all sorts of trash about how I am

(08:43):
a player, dirt pickle who ruined their daughter, how my
family owes no honor and I have to marry the
daughter if we would decent people.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Lol.

Speaker 4 (08:54):
They also threatened to ruin our reputation in the Indian
community if we don't. My dad told them that I
broke up with her or due to cheating, not the
other way around. My dad has proof and will tell
the rest of the Indian community about their daughters orring
around if he hears anything negative about my family. They
asked to see the proof, so my dad showed them

(09:14):
the emails ex girlfriends sent to me after her cheating,
which I had forwarded to my brother for his advice.
Ex girlfriend's family apologized us us not to say anything
and then left, you're enough.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
You're gonna have to give me some more reasons not
to say anything after barging into my house and accusing
me of all this shenaniganry.

Speaker 4 (09:36):
And we have a unanimous vote to leave, which is
what hope he did.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Thank God.

Speaker 4 (09:42):
Today I got a couple of calls from mutual friends.
Apparently ex girlfriend's parents are dragging ex girlfriend back to
India and will probably get her an arranged marriage. Some
of my friends suggested I reconciled to save her from this.
I told them to shut up and stop trying to
influence my love life. If they feel so bad of
the situation, then they should marry her before she gets

(10:03):
taken to India. If they can't respect my feelings, then
they should lose my number. Frankly, I couldn't care less
about some of these mutual friends. I've made new friends
at work, so I don't care if I lose some
old friends over the breakup.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
He said, I'm actually a hot doctor making hot doctor friends.
But I don't care what these layme os have to say.
If there's anyone in our community that's on the other
side of this coin, and you you know, I just
don't want people to think that these stories constitute blanket statements.
There are context in which infidelity can happen in a
relationship and people can forgive each other and it's fine.
This is just not one of those times.

Speaker 5 (10:35):
No.

Speaker 4 (10:36):
To get over infidelity, there has to be work on
both sides. Both sides have to be willing to uh forgive,
you know, work on that forget to giveness, prove that
they can be trustworthy. There's like a lot of a
lot of a lot of a lot of work that
needs to be done to get over infidelity. It is
not a passive process.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
And does he does not have the time for that.

Speaker 4 (10:59):
And also it's totally okay to be like, I don't
want to do that work, right, I can't do that.
I don't feel like I you know, I don't feel
invested in that process.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
That's okay, Yeah, I just yeah, that's all I ought.
Because I've already said everything I thought about this throughout
the whole story.

Speaker 4 (11:16):
Okay, I've been busy at work and loving every moment
of it, even the crap parts. When I do a
rectal exam on some sixty year old guy, it feels
like a weight has been lifted off of me. I'm
going to focus on being single for the next year
and just enjoy it. My parents are also glad I
broke up. Apparently they hated ex girlfriend because she had
no clue about her Indian background, couldn't speak the language,

(11:37):
didn't know our history, et cetera. They've gotten off my
back about marriage and said they wouldn't push for it
at least for the next few years. Everything's coming up Millhouse.
I hope there's no more Bollywood style shenanigans and drama
for my ex girlfriend's parents and that is the end
of that story.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
I left my fiance after I caught her cheating. Now
her family.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
Broke Is that correlation or causation?

Speaker 2 (12:04):
We'll find out. There's a trigger warning here mentions of
us and keep that in mind. So I come here
for advice because everyone in my family and friends circle
thinks I'm overreacting and need to forgive and the usual bs.
So I want to know if you guys think the
same thing. Let's give you the context first. I paul
A Trade's thirty three male, met my fiance Andrea, thirty

(12:25):
two female, in high school. We were both fifteen at
the time, and since then we've stayed together. We had
our rough patches when I went to study in a
nearby city, but I used to visit her regularly. When
I finally finished my studies and was able to work
in the town we both are from, things got better.
And by the way, this comes from user Mortar spelled
with like numbers instead of letters, which is really cool.

(12:47):
And if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slashowcase story time subredd it. I have
to add Andrea comes from a really poor family. We're
talking eight siblings, a house made out of wood and
a zinc roof got a less South America standards. So
knowing this, I was mostly the provider of our relationship,
it didn't bother me. I loved to take her out

(13:08):
to eat ice cream and see her smile, same when
I took her on car rides in my father's car.
As time progressed, the things I could afford got better.
Since I studied it and landed a high paying job
working at the town bank, I was almost set for life.
I could say to that I got myself a nice
place to live that I rented from an old man.
My parents knew. We're talking one of those ranch houses

(13:31):
with plenty of rooms. To spare and two floors. Also,
she could live in a bigger house than she used
to stay in. Then one day she asked me if
her parents and two of her sisters twelve female and
fourteen female, could come live with us since their living
conditions were really bad. I knew that, so I said yes,
we had rooms to spare, and we weren't expecting a child,

(13:52):
so why not, I thought, I knew them, and even
humble as they are, they're good people. Fast forward, I
helped pay for private school for her two sisters, plus
some medical treatment for her mother. I must say. The
rest of their brothers tried to pitch in some money,
but mostly had day to day jobs. And you know
how the economy is down here, not very good for

(14:15):
day labor. So it never bothered me helping them because
I could. Now comes the famous D day. Now comes
the famous D Day. We got invited to the birthday
of one of her nephews, and I told her she
should go first. Then after I was out, I'd go.
I arrived two hours later and asked one of her
nephews where she was. He pointed me toward the restroom

(14:36):
place that the park has, So I walked over there,
and I turned the corner to see my fiance hugging
and kissing one of her family friends. She saw me,
of course, she panicked told me, this is not what
it looks like. I bolted toward my car. That was
a funny scene, me running out of the situation because
it made other kids follow me, thinking I was playing

(14:57):
a game. But her family picked up fast at some
was happening, and she started banging on my glass windows
and screaming as I turned the car on and drove off.
I have no idea what happened after that, just know
that I felt like crap and went to my parents'
place and hid in one of their empty rooms. After
a week, I had to face her, of course, and
return home to see a whole congregation, basically, her whole

(15:20):
family was there. Imagine two parents, eight fing siblings with
kids included, and her all coming together to try to
see if I could forgive her, if I could see
past the betrayal.

Speaker 4 (15:30):
Okay, normally I'm like, no, they're awful, agl you know,
why are they even trying it?

Speaker 1 (15:36):
Obviously is still not right.

Speaker 4 (15:38):
But it makes a lot of sense for the family
to be involved, because you're paying for everything right.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
They're like, oh my god, she's an idiot. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
Please correct. We kind of fought a little bit, but
of course I was overwhelmed. Then I asked the question
if the cheating had been going on for long. She
didn't answer, so I just walked away to a bunch
of people screaming at me to come back. Don't be
a coward, try to see beyond this. You get the idea.
Then three days later I asked her to talk alone.

(16:10):
I told a couple of mutual friends to help us,
and we set up a meeting. Then as I arrived,
first I explained to them, then told them who he
was and all that, And then I learned from one
of my friends that the guy she was with was
one of her exes from what period. I don't really know,
and I don't want to know, so you get the idea.

(16:30):
The moment I learned of that information, I dropped the
meeting and sent her a message saying it was canceled
and I was going to go pack my stuff, and
so I did. Two weeks later, after the whole fight,
I was moving out of the place back to my parents' place.
We fought a lot and I had to face each
and every single one of them trying to convince me
to forgive their sister's mistake, but I ended up blocking them,

(16:51):
putting my foot down, telling them it's not their business.
Then her friends showed up, even some of my friends too,
saying it was just a mistake and blah de saddi
blaody blah. Then what hurt the most was both of
my parents saying that seeing me like that wasn't right,
and perhaps I should forgive and fix our relationship. In
this whole parade of people, nobody gave a dang how

(17:14):
I was doing, only about our relationship, to which I
ended up cutting ties with most of them, beside some
of my best friends and my parents on a low
contact deal as I moved to a one by one
crappy block apartment I could rent fast. Now two months
after the whole ordeal, I paid the last month of rent,
then cut ties with all payments. The house I was

(17:37):
renting gone, the private school gone, her mother's medical treatment
and pills gone also. And I must say I was
doing all of this while supporting two teenagers, two retired folks,
and a housewife who barely finished nursing school. You get
the idea. When the bill came to her, she lost
it and came running to my parents, expecting to find me,
but she didn't, so she went to my work and

(17:58):
came to talk. When I went out, she groveled and
cried that she didn't want this for us, and asked
to give her another chance, if not for her, for
her mother. I said that I had no attachment anymore
to her or her family and drove off. Now she's
talked with most of the people in my circle again,
and of course they say I shouldn't be this cruel,
that I have the money to spare, And to that,

(18:19):
I'd say, do you want to give them the money?

Speaker 1 (18:21):
Give them the money yourself? Have you feeling so helpful?

Speaker 2 (18:25):
Hey? I think if all of you pulled your resources together,
you guys could provide for all that yep, bye, and
then you got you guys could all share in being
such great people together.

Speaker 4 (18:37):
I don't understand why people think that, like when people
are generous in your life, that you can do literally
anything and still expect them to keep up that same generosity.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
It's just the well, because you have it and I don't,
but I should, So you need to get with babes
outwe My parents again even said why would I let
them suffer all this time? That I should have a
little more compassion for them, to which I think, who
has compassion for me? So readit? Am I the ale
here for cutting the payments and possibly unliving grandma because

(19:07):
I stopped paying or caring that they go back to
their crabhole house because they can't pay the other one
like the thing else? No, no, because then it's like, okay, yeah,
if we make you with the a hole because you're
not paying for her grandma's bills and because you just
know of her existence, where does that stop. It's like,
now you're an a hole for not paying every grandma's bills.

Speaker 1 (19:27):
Why aren't you paying for my grandma's bills?

Speaker 2 (19:29):
Yeah, you've got the money for it. Give me my
give my grandma her bill money.

Speaker 1 (19:32):
Give my grandma her bill money. Like, no, you're not.

Speaker 4 (19:35):
If they wanted to for you to continue to fund
things after this happened, you still would have had a
right to say no. But they could have gone about
it in a way where it's like, I'm so sorry
that she did that to you. If there is any
way that you could continue to loan us some money
while we try and you know, get our bit, get
back on our feet. Blah blah blah. Maybe that would

(19:56):
have been reasonable. They're literally harassing you and so saying
that like trying to guilt you into giving them money
and staying with their daughter.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
Yeah, they're basically being like, Grandma's fate is on your
hands this year, you're un alive in Grandma's Actually, I
think Grandma's fates on my ex girlfriend's lips. Think about that.
Let's give me to this edit. First of all, I
want to apologize to all of you for reading such
a mess of a text. I wrote it on my phone,
but that's no excuse. I should have put it on
work guy. It's fine. Secondly, I want to thank you

(20:25):
for all the comments. I was really overwhelmed here and
I really needed someone else's input who could understand my
point of view. Sides a couple of best friends. The
majority wanted me to forgive and move back. But now
I think I get the message. I'll try to move
on and block everyone. For my parents, I'll stay low
context since I do understand why they kind of side
with her, but I don't want to hear what they

(20:46):
have to say. And as for my fiance, I'll try
to stay away as much as I can. I know
it would be hard, being in this small town and all,
But right now I feel like crap, and I don't
want to know the whole story of why and when.
Perhaps one day, when I get the courage, I'll humiliate
myself and ask her. I thank you all very much
for the comments again, and I hope you all can

(21:07):
have a nice day. And there are comments. Comment one
is bro she cheated on you? Why is this even
a question? Comment two not the a hole. Sounds like
everyone knew and was keeping it quiet because they knew
you paid for everything. Tell them to back off, or
that you'll get lawyers involved to get your money back
from them. Comment three. From what I've read here, this

(21:30):
is not a simple betrayal, but an ongoing affair. It
sounds like it started a while ago and has either
continued for years or has started up again at some point.
It sucks that her family is impoverished, but that has
never been your responsibility. You were their golden goose, but
you are now free. The reality is that the only
thing she had going with you was your history together,
and that she has, and that has been tarnished by

(21:52):
her affair and the uncertainty of how long that's gone
on for and how many other guys she's eft or
at the very least smoothed. At the end of the day,
the details aren't important. The trust is gone and you're
not married and do not have children together. Go get
an STD test. Don't ruin your future happiness by listening
to what other people dictate to you, especially when it
comes to who you choose to be with. That was

(22:13):
such a banger. Yeah, that was like, we need air
horns after that, I'm editor air horns.

Speaker 4 (22:23):
Yeah, y'all know, most of the time you know who
you want to be with. Sometimes, like in our last stories,
you know you should leave those people, but you know
in your heart that you should leave them.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
Just listen, trust your gun, but.

Speaker 2 (22:43):
Don't let nobody taint your heart of hearts go. Staying
with her prevents you from finding someone worthwhile that you
can trust and building something special with them. Personally, I
would not take that block them. And if you can
go on a holiday somewhere far far away for a
few weeks, do it and don't let anyone know but
your parents. It sounds like you need a break from

(23:05):
the drama. Comment for says, freeze your credit. Someone might
feel like you owe them and might open up some
lines of credit in your name.

Speaker 1 (23:13):
Do we have an update?

Speaker 2 (23:14):
So we're gonna get into that.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
Well.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
I never thought i'd be back writing an update, but
after a couple of private messages asking for it, and
a couple of life changing revelations and some major bad news,
I think I'm ready to write this. So before I
begin the update, I'll add some information I learned about
a month and a half ago about my ex. Basically,
a friend of hers saw my frail appearance while I

(23:37):
was working. I had lost about fifteen kilograms from this
whole drama, so she felt guilty about hiding so many
secrets of my ex and wrote to me on Instagram
telling me to meet up. We met up in one
of the plazas and she told me that she was
getting married soon. She felt guilty about what she hit
about my ex. For starters, she explained when it all started.

(23:58):
Like many guess from the previous post, it was around
the time I was doing the fourth year at university
to my graduation. Since it was a heavy time for me, personally,
I didn't come back home much, so we kept it
long distance for a time, and the stress made me
not focus on other things like social interactions and such.
During this period, she was studying to become a nurse,

(24:20):
but then she stopped studying. Her reasons, Oh, she didn't
have the money for it, or so she said. The
actual reason was that she got pregnant.

Speaker 4 (24:29):
By the gun terminated the pregnancy.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
I was about to say, because I was like, if
it was a money.

Speaker 4 (24:35):
Thing, she totally could have asked him and been like, hey,
can you help me out with nursing school? And he
probably would have done it. So there had to be
something else.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
Dang, man, OPI. If I'm you, I'm like, don't don't stop.
Don't tell me this. What are you telling me to
stop talking to me about this? Why are you doing
this to write this in a letter to me? And
then John said it like actually though, like would you
want to like if you're in this situation, yeah, right,
and you've got all this stuff, It's like, yeah, it's
terrible loss weight, you're distraught, you're distressed. Do you now

(25:04):
want to hear all of this from your friend? Or no?
I certainly don't can we get over that? Do you
want the truth or do you want peace? Peace?

Speaker 1 (25:15):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (25:15):
I like, once you're already out of the relationship, I
think there is a limit to the knowledge that you
need to continue.

Speaker 1 (25:21):
To hear about your ex.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
Yeah, this feels like it's more for the friend. Yeah,
Like I had to get this off my chest, Like,
can you maybe do that? Just anyone? Do it to
someone else, please, anyone else on earth. I don't want
to know. Her friend was there at that moment and
told me that after that happened, she started to hate
the hospital and she dropped out of college. Yet she

(25:45):
kept seeing this guy until I came back after I graduated.
She then told me that he is a trucker. Hence
their escapades were few, but still enough. In the years
that I was with my ex. The reason you guys
guessed it it was that he was better than me
in bed. It wasn't love or attention, it was just

(26:05):
the horizontal mumbo. Later, during our time together, while also
trying for a kid ourselves, she got pregnant a second time.
She didn't know who the father was, not wanting to
risk the life she had at the time, she called
that same friend to accompanying her to the hospital and
did it again. For me, it was just something to
do with her bladder. For what I can remember, her
friend kind of told me some more important revelations, but

(26:27):
I was so shocked I couldn't listen anymore, like more
times they met, or what excuses she used. That same day,
I went home and cried myself to sleep.

Speaker 4 (26:36):
I just see, Okay, we're getting a lot of people
who said that they do want the truth to me.
I think it's kind of like I would be pretty
frustrated to be finding all of this out after the fact,
because it seems like the friend knew about it, Yeah,
during that when it was happening, and it is now
just telling ope, like after he's left the relationship. I

(26:59):
would I would be really frustrated to be like, why
are you trying to ruin my peace now by bringing
all of this up that you didn't bring while we
were you didn't bring up while we were dating.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
Yeah, that would be my point. She because it's like
it feels like she's saying this, like and now I
can forgive myself, But I would just hear her with
the hey, so you should have told me that a
long time ago, So I just want to let you
know this doesn't really absolve you have any guilt. You're
gonna have to reckon with that yourself because I'm not
giving you the forgiveness. So, uh, don't talk to me,

(27:29):
don't call me. And I wish you would have never
told me any of this. I agreed, of course. Well,
she went to live with him, and since he goes
out most of the time due to his job, she's
staying at the place he's renting almost every time he
went out. She came to my home calling for me,
asking for forgiveness, saying how bad she felt. At the time,
I kind of felt like I was overreacting, but after

(27:50):
learning such things about her past, I was seething for
the next time she showed up. So that same week
I learned of her cruel past, she came to visit me.
Before I knew it, I was lashing out against her,
screaming and insulting her. It was loud enough that my
throat hurt for for three days. Then I decided that
that was enough, so I went to the police. But
when I wanted to press charges for a restraining order

(28:11):
against her, the policeman at the time laughed at me
like I was saying a joke and told me to
man up. I think at that point you do. Just
go to the gym and you lift heavy objects until
the anger turns into strength. I just move.

Speaker 4 (28:23):
I mean, you probably have a job in life here,
but like all of your friends, freaking suck. Your family sucks.
Her family sucks. Let's out of there start over.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
After that fight, I spoke seriously to my parents since
our relationship was kind of rocky from them supporting my ex.
Now they fully support me and kind of stopped that
boomerish way of thinking. I never saw my ex again
after that time. After I knew, A whole month went
by in silence while I tried to fix the bits
and pieces of my life thanks to friends and co
workers trying to cheer the gloomy guy up. And that

(28:56):
is the end of that story.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
Oh pee, cut off these people off.

Speaker 2 (29:00):
Yeah, you don't need that. It's a great place to
end that story.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
Oof out of there.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
Your life is on the up. Yes, upswing John here
og host, We're gonna get back to these stories, but
a quick three minute break from hops from our sponsors.

Speaker 6 (29:12):
I refuse to attend my ex wife's wedding. It did
not go well with our kids.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
I don't think you would want to go.

Speaker 6 (29:20):
So we've been married fifteen years, together longer and have
three kids. She has a daughter from her first relationship
who is now eighteen, a classer is mine. I've done
everything for her and we have a sixteen year old
and a thirteen year old sons. By the way, this
comes from deleted if you want to spit your olwn
stories or the r slash okay story, Tom subredd it.
So now, she was upfront and honest when we got

(29:42):
together that she was by and it was never an
issue last year until she said she thought she was
ultimately a sapphik who had fallen in love with her
now fiance thirty five female, and it led to a
divorce as I am unwilling to open up the relationship
or consider a poly religlationship. So we've been divorced a year.

(30:03):
Although we are still good friends. We have a good
parenting relationship, a good co parenting relationship. Even though we're good,
I'm still suffering. I can't say I'm even close to
moving on yet. The kids live with her primarily, although
I see them a couple of times a week and
can say if I didn't have them, I'd have nothing.
So basically, I got a call from my ex earlier

(30:25):
on in the week saying she had to tell me
something that she is now engaged. I was shocked as
f Basically, she said they're not going to do the
typical thing and have a long engagement. They're getting into
a marriage as soon as the lockdown has been lifted,
and they're on about moving in together as soon as possible.

(30:45):
And there's more, and she says she wants me to
have her as the best man, and she still considers
me her best friend and can't think of anyone else
she'd rather have there. Suffice to say, I told her
I wasn't happy with it, and said I'm not going
to be her best man or don't think it'd be
a good idea for me to be at the wedding,
and definitely don't like the idea of moving someone into

(31:06):
or around my kids. After a year now, my kids
love the fiance, My kids are always talking about her.
Sufficed to say, she was upset and we haven't spoken since.
I mean, if that is what it is, then I
then I wouldn't be that upset. I mean, in what
way is going to a wedding seeing my wife Mary,
the woman who she left me for, seems like a

(31:27):
good idea and to be the best man. My kids
found out, though, somehow are really upset. My daughter particularly
really went off and says she thought I was better
than that and if I don't want to be in
the wedding, she'll never talk to me again. The youngest
dud don't want to come and see me this week
and also have refused to talk to me. I'm still
close and have a relationship with my in laws, and

(31:49):
they've also been on my case about saying I should go,
especially for my kid's sake. There's where I need help
and someone to talk to.

Speaker 1 (31:57):
What do I do?

Speaker 6 (31:58):
I mean, it's the last thing I want to do
is to be false and go to a wedding watching
the woman who I thought I'd be with forever marry
someone else.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (32:06):
I hate the thought of my kids are suffering and
the prospect of not having them in my life, even
for a short while is like torture. Help dang, how
long do you have to be there for?

Speaker 1 (32:18):
Can you be there for? Like a minute? Show up?
And I was there, Yeah, what do you want?

Speaker 7 (32:25):
You just didn't see me, You just weren't looking with
saying there, Yeah, that's not my yeah, uh Pattis Patty
says it.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
Do it for dam Yeah.

Speaker 7 (32:36):
I feel like, maybe go for the kids if that's
really what they're upset about.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
Did you get how old they are again? Thirteen?

Speaker 6 (32:43):
Like sixteen and eighteen?

Speaker 1 (32:44):
Oh wow, okay, so they're young, but not.

Speaker 6 (32:46):
Like that young teenagers.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
Yeah. Yeah, maybe maybe go for the kids, but maybe be.

Speaker 7 (32:51):
Like, hey, I just don't feel comfortable being your best
man because you know, because it's just it just feels
weird to me. This is just a boundary that I
know to put up. But I can maybe be for
the there for the wedding. I don't know if I'll
stay for the whole time now that is uncomfortable.

Speaker 6 (33:07):
Chat has some thoughts here, What if she was marrying
another man? Would be different?

Speaker 1 (33:12):
Interesting? I think so?

Speaker 6 (33:14):
I think I think it's the same. I would go
to see my eggs that I was gonna be with forever. Yeah,
be with another person.

Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yeah, I think I think that would be the same feeling.

Speaker 7 (33:26):
If not works in a way, because because then that
would I mean, that would change the whole divorce reason,
because if they got divorced because she realized that she
wanted to be with a woman, then it's like, you know,
and then she ended up being with a man, It's
like what the heck?

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Like wait, what you know?

Speaker 7 (33:42):
But yeah, I feel like I don't think it's about
any sort of like homophobia if that's what that suggests.

Speaker 6 (33:48):
No, definitely not. But we got some comments. One, I
get it. It took me seven years to get over
the hurt of my ex cheating before I let it
be able to pursue another long term relationship. So why
she or anyone else thinks you should be dealing with
it like a man after a year is insane in
my opinion, especially after a fifteen year relationship. Your kids

(34:09):
are old enough for you to tell them the truth
about how you're feeling and how you're unable to deal
with her request this soon after the divorce. If they
can't accept your decision, then maybe use your analogies they
can understand about their own lives. Ultimately, stick by your
pup pews and your mental health is more important. Sounds
like you need to focus on your healing right now. Ope,

(34:31):
he says, absolutely, I mean I do not feel any way,
shape or form ready to start dating or get into
a relationship yet. However, she's been trying to push me
to date or even set me up with a suitable woman.
She knows she feels guilty and thinks I would be
a great catch for someone and deserves someone who appreciates me,
which is all dandy, but I just don't want it yet.

(34:54):
I'm trying to get through to our oldest so I
can talk about this with her. She's eighteen and the
one they all look up to. If I can at
least get her to understand, then it might help the
other two come around.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
Come it two.

Speaker 6 (35:07):
It's tough when your ex takes up with the person
they left you for. But your ex wife clearly values
you and sees you as an important person in her life.
That's why she wants you at her wedding as her
best man. She's not trying to rub her new relationship
in your face, but honor the relationship you have as
two people who have cared for each other for almost

(35:28):
two decades. It sounds like you're grieving your marriage and
the pain is still raw. Ending a marriage is a
huge adjustment, and I think you owe it to yourself
to seek a therapist out to talk things over with
a therapist who has experienced with LGBTQ plus families and issues.
That would be your benefit having attending the wedding and

(35:50):
supporting your ex in her new life as goals you
want to work towards. Tell your ex wife that you
won't be her best man, but you would be happy
to be in her new life. You're just not there
quite yet. Let your ex no, you're not planning on
attending this time, but you will keep a spot open
for you and the chance you change your mind. Also

(36:10):
consider intending the reception if the ceremony would be too
rough for you. That way you get to celebrate with
your ex your children while skipping what could be the
toughest part. Ask if you can bring along a supportive
plus one male or female you can take a side
and invent with. Just make sure you're out of earshot
of your ex, her fiance and your kids. I don't

(36:32):
I disagree with this one? Yeah, this one, I don't know.
I feel like they're not listening to where Opie is.
They're like a just say you can't make it, but
you should celebrate with the X you can't celebrate with
the X, you.

Speaker 1 (36:45):
Know, Yeah, because I think that's the issue.

Speaker 7 (36:47):
Yeah, Like you don't feel it's weird to celebrate with
your ex, you know, Like, I'm sure the thought of her,
you know, being in another relationship, especially if he's maybe
not in one right now, and then especially them getting
married after like a year being together, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
That's weird in general. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (37:07):
So then adding the extra layer of even being at
the wedding and being the best man is like, oh,
it's just adding more to the uncomfort.

Speaker 4 (37:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (37:15):
Oh I get being like, oh, we were best friends
for twenty years. Like you can't do that to your
best friend too, you know, like.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
You can't you can't like not go to your best
friend's wedding.

Speaker 6 (37:26):
Yes, yeah, like if your best friend I'm remarried someone else.

Speaker 7 (37:29):
But it's just different. It's just different. There's more than
that in this situation. There's more ope response that approaches one.
I'd consider saying I'd consider it or not commit to it,
but needed to think about it as if what is
best for me. But the way she's gone about it
was just completely the wrong way. Just zero to sixty

(37:49):
in a second flat and getting kids involved had made
it worse. She had even spoke to me calmly asked
me in a decent way. It gave me time to
consider I have reacted differently.

Speaker 1 (38:01):
We've got an update. Don't are we going? Ke On?
You going?

Speaker 2 (38:04):
Heck?

Speaker 1 (38:05):
No, man, not going. You're going maybe for the kids,
but not as the best man. I'm not going.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
I'm not going.

Speaker 8 (38:14):
I will take the kids and say hi to my
ex wife and like here the kids.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
I can't be here.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
Dude.

Speaker 6 (38:20):
What if I what if I we get married, have
a beautiful life, three kids, four kids, you know, four kids,
and then I'm like, hey, we gotta tell you something.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Yeah, me and Keon we're getting married. All this time
I should have known. Yeah right, I don't want you.

Speaker 6 (38:35):
To be my maid of honor as I go off
into the distance with Keon.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Yeah, I don't know. It's just weird.

Speaker 7 (38:42):
It's just weird because do we know how long it's
been since they got divorced?

Speaker 1 (38:47):
Just a year?

Speaker 7 (38:47):
Yeah, so she got into a relationship with this woman, yeah,
right after yep, and they're getting married.

Speaker 2 (38:53):
Okay, yep.

Speaker 7 (38:55):
This adds so much more to the situation. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 8 (39:00):
No, it's if I were in op shoes again, I
would tell how I'm feeling. Hey, this is where I'm
at for you, it seems great. For me, I just
don't feel comfortable and I'm not happy with this and
I'm still grieving. Yeah, and if you can't respect that,
I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna go. That's very easy,
it's very adult, a very dult conversation. Just tell how

(39:22):
tell them like how honest and you're just your feelings.
To tell them your honest feelings.

Speaker 6 (39:27):
We got an update basically everything all moved forward today.
So I thought i'd be best to reach out to
my daughter. So I messaged her along lines of Hey,
I know you're not talking to me now, but I
really think we need to talk. To my surprise, she
agreed and came over very quickly basically said to her
that she's an adult and I won't sugarcoat thinks.

Speaker 2 (39:46):
Now.

Speaker 6 (39:47):
I'm really not in a good place and your mom
is getting married to her girlfriend and asking me the
best man is a bit too much for me when
I'm struggling to move on with my life. She sort
of understands, but it hit her close to home. She
came out out to me as a saffoc herself. She
says she's known for a while. She told her mom
and my ex a while ago, but wasn't sure how
to tell me, and because of the way I reacted

(40:09):
to the wedding, she was worried I wouldn't be able
to accept her. I reassured her that I really do
love her dearly and I'm proud of her for being
honest with me, and stressed the way I feel about her.
Mom and our fiance is doing nothing with the fact
with her saffix, but because she's my ex wife and
I can't just turn my feelings off like that, I'd
feel exactly the same if Mom was marrying a dude.

(40:31):
We hugged it out, and she said she talked to
her brothers and see if she can get them to
come around. Because they live with Mom and see the
fiance often. They see her a lot, and so they
don't understand. I said to her, I can't promise that
i'd go to the wedding eventually, but if I fill
up to it, I may try, but it would be

(40:52):
hard for me while she's here. She facetimed her mom
from her phone, and I got a chance to talk
to my ex basically was honest. I said, I feel
like she blindsided me and sprung it up with me
without thinking how I would feel, especially putting me on
the spot and making her ask me to be the
best man.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
I said.

Speaker 6 (41:12):
The invitation to the wedding was one thing, but it
was a bit much for me. She took it all
in and apologized and admitted is because she'd all loved
up and her family are giving her all the platitudes
about how happy and how proud they are, so she
got caught up in the moment.

Speaker 1 (41:28):
Wow.

Speaker 6 (41:29):
So see communication reddit does change lives.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
I guess it does. I guess it does.

Speaker 6 (41:36):
Yeah, this one conversation after getting with clarity, yep, and
everything went well.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
Everything went well.

Speaker 7 (41:42):
I feel like maybe the eighteen year old didn't need
to be there for the conversation like with the parents.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
But I'm sure she can handle it.

Speaker 6 (41:49):
She's an adult now, not going to sugarcoat anything else.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
I guess is that what he said? Yeah? Okay, word
for word, letter for letter.

Speaker 7 (42:00):
Well, well, yeah, see communication is the answer to all
of your problems.

Speaker 6 (42:04):
Yep, and I got a little bit left here. She
asked me I would feel about it now? I said
in all, honestly, it's a bit too much to consider
at the moment, but I definitely am not going to
be her best man regardless. She understands said she won't
accept that of me. But if I don't want to
go to the wedding itself and it would I be
interesting in going to just reception? I said not, Honestly,

(42:25):
I don't know if I can, and she would shouldn't
expect me to. She agreed and said she'd leave it
to me and will try to understand if I can,
but would it be made up if I can. The
boys were there, so I asked if she could put
them on, but they didn't want to talk to me. Honestly,
feels like the O one to two in the balls.
So I left it there before it made me start crying.

(42:48):
She saw it and let the daughter leave so I
could be on my own. I've never liked her to
see me like this, too emotional, especially when I cry.

Speaker 1 (42:56):
So there you have it.

Speaker 6 (42:57):
We've all made a peace as such, but there's a
long way to go yet. A lot of people have
said about her cheating whilst she met or now fiance
before the split. I don't believe there was physical intimacy,
possibly an emotional thing, but I don't believe they got
together until we split at two. A lot of people
have picked up on me not showing my emotions around

(43:19):
my kids. I do or show emotion around them. I'm loving, funny, affectionate, humble,
et cetera. I do show sadness at things like funerals,
but I generally don't like them seeing me cry, especially
at things like this, Yeah that I read a documentary
about like why I'm in don't cry, and uh it
make it makes sense, Like they only cry like very

(43:40):
very like uh, big things that happen, and if they don't,
and if they cry other things around it, they are
seen as like weak, like they cry a breakup or
like cry that they stubbed their toe and the other
and it's like.

Speaker 7 (43:55):
A bad uh pressure to put on. But that that
is honestly a thing. Seeing your dad I cry for
the first time or ever is always like augh because
like it's you know, in most cases so rare. My
family deserted me when I was younger, and now they
want to reconnect.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
You're all big, now let's talk.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
So little backstory.

Speaker 7 (44:15):
I'm a twin and when I was born, I hadn't
developed my lungs fully, so I had to stay in
the hospital for quite a while. Due to this, I
had a lot of developmental and emotional issues, dyslexia and
other anger issues.

Speaker 1 (44:26):
By the way, this.

Speaker 7 (44:27):
Comes from deleted and if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime sub
bredd it. So now, I don't know if this is
the reason, but I believe so that because of these issues,
I was treated poorly by my family, like I was
somehow a burden to them.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
Not to say that they were harmful, but the neglect
I received was a lot.

Speaker 7 (44:44):
For example, on our birthdays, I would ask for something,
my brother would get it instead. One year, I asked
for a boombox, and not a big one, but a
smaller one. They were all the hit in the eighties,
and instead my brother got it.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
Christmas came around, asked for a remote controlled car. Brother
got one.

Speaker 7 (45:00):
I told the dude funds I had to wait until
after the first of the year. That never happened, so
basically got nothing but clothes for Christmas while my twin
got toys. I tried for years to show that I
was as good as my brother. He was always good
at school, while I, of course struggled. In sixth grade,
I worked hard to make sure that I got good
grades all bees, which was good for me, and they said, oh, nice,

(45:21):
your brother got all a's. I think it was at
this point that I realized where I stood. I was
just a roommate that they had to take care of,
nothing more.

Speaker 1 (45:29):
Oh my god.

Speaker 7 (45:30):
So as a kid, I figured that if I can't
get attention for positive things, then I'll do whatever, and
if I get in trouble, at least they would be
forced to pay attention to me. Not the brightest idea,
but when you are eleven to twelve years old, what
do you expect. When I turned eighteen, shortly after graduating
high school, I was met at the door with a
bag of clothes.

Speaker 1 (45:47):
I was told that I had to go, that they
did their job and I needed to leave.

Speaker 7 (45:52):
I asked what about my brother, and they stated that
he was gonna be somebody as he was going to
college where I struggled in school, So clearly I was
going to be a bumm.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
To tell you the truth, I was ready to go. Anyways.

Speaker 7 (46:03):
I already knew how they felt, so this didn't even
bother me, I grabbed my bag. My mom tried to
hug me, but I ignored it and walked out the door.
Never looked back. It took a while for me to
get on my feet. Nowhere to go, no place to sleep,
not a penny to my name, but I had some
friends to rely on, at least temporarily. Fast forward a
few years and I met my wife while I was
working at a gas station. Wow, we just clicked a

(46:25):
few years later, we got married. We built a home together,
something I never really had growing up. Back in two
thousand and five, we had a baby.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
Girl and two years later a boy.

Speaker 7 (46:34):
From my perspective, my life is perfect, family, home, a
great job in it.

Speaker 1 (46:39):
That was until yesterday.

Speaker 6 (46:41):
Oh no.

Speaker 7 (46:42):
I received a phone call from my mom telling me
that my dad passed away and that she and the
family would hope that I could make it to the funeral.
Mind you, I don't know how she got my number,
but probably for my brother. But I was shocked, to
say the least. I told her that I was busy working,
which I was, twelve hour shifts are fun and would
let her know later. She started to say something to
the effect that they missed me and would like to

(47:04):
be a part of my life or something like that,
But I hung up kind of rude, I know, maybe
even a wholeish, But from my perspective, I haven't heard
a word from these people in thirty two years, so
why would I give them any more of my time?
I told my wife, and although she knows about my family,
she thought it would be the right thing to do,
seeing that my mom reached out to tell me where

(47:24):
she could have not told me that they are family
and probably feel bad.

Speaker 1 (47:28):
And want to reconnect.

Speaker 7 (47:30):
Mind you, my wife has a big family and they've
always treated me like fam so her view of family
is different than mine. However, as far as I'm concerned,
I already have my family, as those other people are
former roommates that I have no obligation to anyone but
those who I care about and who care about me,
which are my wife and kids.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
I get it.

Speaker 7 (47:49):
My wife loves me and is thinking of me, and
how I might regret not going just seems like they
now know that dad is gone and life is short,
so now guilt is creeping in and they don't want
to pass away with that girl. I mean, do I
go at the wife's suggestion and be miserable being around
people that I learned to let go of and not
care about in order to look like the better person.

(48:09):
Or do I stay at home and continue to live
my life putting my own family first and ignoring those people.

Speaker 8 (48:14):
This is what you say, he died. I'm sorry he
unlive to me the day you kicked me out.

Speaker 7 (48:19):
There you go, yeah, yeah, all of that you did,
honestly because they were acting that way towards Ope. Yeah,
and he was the child in this situation, so it's
like there's nothing for him to mourn anymore.

Speaker 1 (48:32):
He already did that thirty two years ago.

Speaker 6 (48:35):
And I kind of feel bad for the other twin
two because he was just a by center, couldn't really
do anything. It doesn't seem like I have much of
a relationship. But did he One did he fold in
and believe the parents?

Speaker 1 (48:45):
Or two?

Speaker 6 (48:45):
Does he kind of feel bad but it has to
keep like a good stance for the parents so he
can survive in this world.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
I'd like to know that about the Honestly, I could.

Speaker 7 (48:52):
I could see that happening, because like, yeah, if he's
the favorite child, he obviously has a different relationship with
the parents, but it still wasn't really his like.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
Fault, and I wonder, you know, if there were things.

Speaker 7 (49:03):
Of like if the brother was being like kind of
bratty about being the favorite or something that's possible, but
we don't really know that yet. And obviously I mean
Opie soa that the brother still has oh piece number,
and that might be how the mom got the number,
So maybe they are still in contact like a little bit.
But yeah, I could see like from being the favorite

(49:23):
child having that different relationship, he's maybe a little bit
more forgiving of the.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
Parents for this stuff.

Speaker 7 (49:27):
I guess I'm asking those that have gone no contact
with their family if they let them back in, was
it worth it or did it backfire in your face
and something you wouldn't ever do again or suggest to
others additional info? Mind you, I live in Florida and
they're probably still in California, so that would be a
long trip and I'm not sure worth it. As far
as my twin, we don't talk, okay, not that we

(49:48):
hate each other, we just walked different paths in life.
I get slash send the occasional Christmas card, but that's it.
Unless some miracles happened. My mom is probably still the
self centered person that she's always been. She always wanted
to be seen a good person by family and friends.
And there is an update, but yeah, that checks out
if she be cause if she's gonna have this like
funeral with friends and family and then her son isn't there,

(50:11):
How's I gonna look on her?

Speaker 6 (50:13):
If you go to this funeral, everyone's gonna be like,
who is that? No one's gonna be like, oh, you
had another song, Everyone's gonna ask her more quiet. This
is my backfire on her. Actually, who's that other kid
that looks like your son?

Speaker 1 (50:27):
Who is that?

Speaker 7 (50:28):
Or if they do know the son, then it's like, well,
I guess I was friend. I was thinking like people
might put the blame on the sun for not being there,
but they should be like, you not invite your son
or something like she's probably just inviting it for that.
We do have an update. Okay, First, Holy crap. I
didn't think my post would get so many comments. I
tried my best to respond to as many comments as
possible as they came in, but after signing out to

(50:50):
cook dinner and spend time with the family, when I
came back, there were hundreds of comments. So although I
didn't respond to each one. I read them all, all
seven hundred and fifty plus even had to read some
this morning. Second, thank you everyone for taking the time
to read my post and then to take time out
of your day to comment, share your story, post some
kind words, and even the few that were blunt about

(51:13):
what I should do.

Speaker 1 (51:14):
Third, at the suggestion.

Speaker 7 (51:15):
Of so many of you, I sat with my wife
and we went through the comments together so she could
get a better understanding of where I was coming from.
Although somewhere a little brutal, she understood and apologized for overstepping.
I reassured her that her heart was in the right
place and it was nothing to be sorry for. Fourth,
at the suggestion of someone who posted sorry your last
name sorry lost your name in the vast comments, they

(51:35):
suggested that I contact my brother, and I did just that.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
So update time.

Speaker 7 (51:40):
Okay, folks, I hope you are ready for this crap
show of karma that is about to unfold. Drop in
and hold on. I called my brother to talk to him.
I asked him if he had time to talk, and
he did. I asked him if he gave my number
to his mom, and he mentioned that he did. He
thought it would be better to hear about our dad's
passing from Mom than from him. I asked him why

(52:00):
I would want to hear from someone who punted me
out at eighteen and never heard from in thirty two years.
He was shocked and he told me that Mom said
that I could stay but I had to pay rent.
But I told them that I would never pay rent
and left on my own. As others said in MYOPI
self absorbed people do and say things to make it
about them and make themselves look better. I can't really

(52:22):
be surprised at this, to tell you the truth, this
is exactly who she was back then, and even now
she make me look like the bad apple and her
slash auld theay oh wait and her slash them as
the ones that never do wrong. So we had a
good talk, never getting that sibling twin bond back, but
we did agree to try and at leach and at

(52:42):
least catch up more instead of Christmas cards and Birthday messages. Okay,
like I said in MYOPI he's not a bad guy.
We just walked different paths. So then I asked him
why Mom wants to reconnect and why she wants me
at the funeral you guys.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
Were right, she wants a kidney.

Speaker 7 (52:59):
Turns out they spent everything that they had their entire
lives trying to live like the Joneses.

Speaker 1 (53:06):
So now the dad is gone, she has nothing to
her name. That's always what it.

Speaker 7 (53:11):
Is, isn't it. It's always the money. They come back
for the money, dude.

Speaker 9 (53:15):
I did not think, yeah, oh man, no savings, just
a small amount of Social Security per month and a
small portion of my dad's pension.

Speaker 1 (53:28):
Living in a small trailer.

Speaker 7 (53:30):
They heard that I actually became somebody, and she was
telling others that she couldn't wait to see me at
the funeral. She was hoping that I would bring my
kids so that she could see her grandchildren. She actually
told my brother that I would be coming, what the
hef and was hoping that we could fix our relationship.
I'm guessing so that she could start asking for money,

(53:51):
as many of you said that she would, seeing that
she's dirt poor. Now.

Speaker 1 (53:55):
I informed him, after thinking about it, mostly listening.

Speaker 7 (53:58):
To you guys, that I would not be to and
at no time did I tell his mom I was coming.
I feel bad that dad has passed away, but I
already mourned them years ago.

Speaker 1 (54:08):
I'm at peace with myself and his slash.

Speaker 7 (54:10):
Her deaths and his and her passings are and will
be no different than that of a stranger.

Speaker 1 (54:17):
That I feel that it won't be that. I feel
that it won't be for.

Speaker 7 (54:21):
Me if I go, it will be for his mom
and making her look good. I'm not interested in doing
anything for her. They wrote me off thirty two years ago,
and I'm in a way better place without her toxicity,
narcissism and lies. There is a little bit more to
the story, but I think that's a great answer. I think, yeah,
he's putting his boundaries down. We know the ulteriator, we

(54:43):
know the ulterior motives. Don't let a leach latch on exactly.
She was gonna plan her way at the funeral. Okay,
so ope, he's gonna step here, twenty steps, and then
he's gonna go to the left, and then boom there
I am hello. And then and Frenda's gonna talk to
him and be like, oh my gosh, other's such a
great person. And then Uncle Charles is going to be like,
oh my gosh, you should actually catch up with your

(55:04):
mom sometime.

Speaker 1 (55:04):
And then little cousin.

Speaker 6 (55:05):
Vinie's going to be like happy and mom happy, and
then that's a whole lamb.

Speaker 7 (55:10):
But we do have a little bit more to the story. Oh,
I have to give him credit. He wasn't a knucklehead
about it. He understood where I was coming from. I
told him, if anyone asks why, I'm not there to
tell them the truth or lie. At this point in
my life, my immediate family is more important than people
who have been absent from my life for thirty two years,
So don't really care what he tells them. As far

(55:32):
as his mom, I'll be staying no contact and blocking
the number that she called me from. My wife and
I both agree that it's best for me and our family,
not only for our mental reasons, but for financial reasons.
I didn't work as hard as I did to get
where I am to lose it all to her. Some
of you suggested I'm going to have a small goodbye
for my dad on my own time. Again, thanks Internet strangers.

(55:53):
I never knew so many random people could be so
nice and caring this old guy truly thanks to.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
All of you. And that is the end of that story. Wow.

Speaker 5 (56:01):
Yeah, I think that's great, making the great decision because
I was I was thinking too, like even if it
wasn't for financial reasons that he wanted to see her
like and he and she's wait that she wanted to
see him and she somehow just did want to reconnect it,
I mean one like no, but even if he went
along with that, it probably wouldn't be a good relationship

(56:21):
anyway because of how she just is as a person.

Speaker 7 (56:24):
So it's just yeah, putting the boundaries down for herself,
not losing any more time or money to them.

Speaker 1 (56:33):
Good. It's wild good for you and O's in a
great place with this fan really is.

Speaker 6 (56:38):
It's just kind of crazy how Op's life just turned
around to be amazing too.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
Two kids and a wife. He did that, t he
did that put all that work in himself, and that's amazing.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
Sam here og host. We're gonna get back to these stories.
But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

Speaker 6 (56:58):
First, my aunt refused to pay her debts, but always
has stuff.

Speaker 1 (57:02):
I always got money for fun things.

Speaker 6 (57:05):
Right contexts. My grandma had four kids, three daughters, and
the youngest child is a son. My mom is the
older middle child, being the youngest daughter. She had very
close relationships with my grandparents. My grandpa was a successful
banker in the Central Bank of the country and has
subsequently retired and now it works in the Pinsioners Association

(57:25):
of the bank. By the way, this comes from South
Asian overkill and if you want to spit your old stories,
go to the arsash Okay story telling selbru It. Then
my mom and dad moved away after they got married,
and then they had me an oversimplified rewind of the
last twenty to thirty years of my extent family history,
so the main story. A few years ago, my mom
and my dad gave my eldest aunts entitled Aunt, almost

(57:49):
ten thousand dollars to fund their older daughter's college aspirations.
This was before the VID and my parents' finances were good.
We would go on holiday and they were in the
process of buying their first home. And the following years,
due to my aunt's failing food processing in company, my
parents and my mother and my other aunt gave more
and more money for no return. Today I estimate my

(58:12):
parents had given more than two hundred and fifty thousand
and my other aunt around one hundred and fifty thousand.
The VID hit and my grandma passed away. Family politics
and the fact that we're so far away on the
other side of the planet, strapped down by lockdowns and quarantines.
Nothing was easy. During this time, my parents' finances became tougher.
My parents wanted to send me to a good secondary school.

(58:35):
The only one good in my area is a private school.
So a huge chunk of my dad's monthly salary goes
to my school fees, which I really appreciate. My mom
had to have multiple treatments and therapies done for her
frozen shoulder, not to mention the cost of living crisis.
That means our weekly groceries would have been twenty five
pounds or even thirty pounds. Now we're at fifty pounds

(58:59):
or in extreme case, sixty pounds. The Baines are getting
up there. The bans are expensive for brecky uh huh,
because they're they're they're they're English.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
Oh my gosh. There's expensive equipment around.

Speaker 6 (59:14):
Boys not there, not actually between here and there, there's
not that much expensive.

Speaker 2 (59:18):
Well, we have a really I need torpedoes. I need torpedoes.
So when Dakota goes off the rails, yeah I can.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
That would help them. That just would scare them, That
would that.

Speaker 7 (59:29):
Yeah, get those little like pool diving torpedoes that like
kids dive after the test them.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
Yeah, they're they're tough. They got to synk to the
bottom of the lot. I really do that makes sense.

Speaker 6 (59:39):
So my mom asked my entitled aunt to return to
return some of the money she was out, not even
all it just some. My in response cut her off
and said, what would you know? You live away to
fory country. This is already a sensitive issue for my parents.
My dad had lost his mother and my mom did too.
Not only did this, not only this, but the fact

(59:59):
that my parents were I felt helpless, unable to do anything,
desperately calling doctor for doctor, hospital after hospital. I saw
the trauma on my parents' experience during the VID watching.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
It was hard.

Speaker 6 (01:00:11):
I couldn't imagine what my parents felt. Then twenty twenty one,
we finally got the chance to come to our home country,
and we did. Once we had reached our grandparents' house,
it was rough. It was custom for relatives, mainly siblings,
to drop in say hi, even given some snacks when
someone is visiting their parents home. All right, we thought

(01:00:32):
it was quite It was quite late anyways, despite leaving
two streets away they didn't visit the first day, or
the second, nor the third. Excuses after excuses, and finally
they came in to take food a week later. My
cousins were distant and not even bothering to say hi,
it's fine. I thought, I really shouldn't expect these things

(01:00:53):
from people, and either way, it was a long time
ago since we had spoken. Then, once we came back
home after our trip, I entotled aunts Oa Datta, the
same one that my parents, without a second thought dumped
their savings for, called my mom. She was really disrespectful.
She was like, you can look after you and your son.

(01:01:15):
That might not sound bad, but she said some stuff
before that I do not wish to translate input here.
My mom considered her like a daughter going shopping, and
she was even one of the bride'smaids for my mom
when she got married with my dad. This devastated her
and my mom was shattered.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
I don't think. I don't think she ever got that money.
You think, so, what do you think intercepted it?

Speaker 6 (01:01:39):
The aunts put that bill up to a four hundred
and ten k. The entitled aunt took the money.

Speaker 7 (01:01:44):
The entitled aunt, I thought you were saying that you
don't think the aunt actually got the money.

Speaker 6 (01:01:48):
Because like they gave her money for the daughter's school.

Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
Mm hmmm, oh you think that. I see, I see,
I'm following. I'm following. Yeah, I am assuming. Maybe not,
maybe not. I wouldn't be surprised with this lady, dude,
Like what amulyn?

Speaker 6 (01:02:06):
Why did the aunt need money again? Because she doesn't work.
She's keeping up with all the Joneses.

Speaker 1 (01:02:12):
It's hard. It's hard guming up with Joneses. They always
buy new things. Yeah, those jones Is.

Speaker 6 (01:02:17):
My aunt just separated herself from the rest of the family,
owing debts with almost everyone. But then more recently they
bought more jewelry at a time when gold price is
so high. They bought a new TV, new fridge, new
ac and my mom's younger brother thinks that they might
sue buy a new car. It's clear that they have money,

(01:02:38):
they just refuse to repay us. Then my other aunt,
she holds her housewarming ceremony she has been preparing for
more than five years. It'd be the first proper event
my family has been since the passing on my grandma.
My titled aunt makes a ruckus for weeks before finally
agreeing to come, but her husband wouldn't come. One day

(01:03:00):
in the event, my mom had asked her about her
dress and she said it looked new. My aunt suddenly
becomes very defensive, and I don't think to say this lightly.
She raises her voice and stomps on the ground. She shouts,
what do you mean? I've had this for years?

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
Why are we being so defensive about this, Aunt? Why
can't you just say it in a column tone? I've
had this for years?

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
Boo, no, no, no.

Speaker 6 (01:03:30):
This was at the private clubhouse area inside of the
new apartment complex in my other aunt's new place. This
was really embarrassing. My aunt never calls or even texts
my mom unless she needs my dad, who is a doctor,
to look over her medical reports. But then she blames
my mom for isolating her. I mean, I don't really
feel like we have any advice. She'd even I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:03:52):
I don't feel like you should ask for advice. But
liked this aunt.

Speaker 6 (01:03:55):
What would you do with this ant? What can you
do with this ant? She took all your money.

Speaker 7 (01:04:00):
You gotta have a common conversation with this ant, even
though you may not want to.

Speaker 1 (01:04:04):
You might have to do that.

Speaker 7 (01:04:05):
If you want to see your money again, you can
go to her and you can be like, you know, hey,
this is so cool.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
Oh my gosh, I love these kitchen appliances. Whoa, this
is such a nice TV. Wow. Oh wow.

Speaker 7 (01:04:18):
You're thinking about getting a new car or like someone
told me that you're thinking about getting a new car?

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
Which one are you getting? Talk about that? Oh my god? Cool?
Are you thinking of like a certain color? Oh my gosh,
that's a great color. I love that. Oh my gosh,
that's such a nice car. How much do these guys
go for nowadays?

Speaker 7 (01:04:35):
And then pull it up and be like, well, if
you can afford that much, then maybe you can afford
to pay me back, right right, And then the problems solved.

Speaker 1 (01:04:46):
I agree with that problem solved. I like that tactic.
I mean, you know, who knows how she'll react, But
but maybe.

Speaker 6 (01:04:52):
I don't know if it would be with a family member,
but maybe someone that's also bougie like and they're a
plant and they.

Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
Do what you did.

Speaker 6 (01:04:59):
But then at the they're like, huh, that's funny because
everything you just said totals out to be one hundred
thousand dollars and you owe your family four hundred thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (01:05:07):
Yeah, you know, you do something, get a paid actor. Yeah,
that'd be cool. Update.

Speaker 6 (01:05:12):
So today my mom finally got the chance to call
my entitled ant.

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
They spoke.

Speaker 6 (01:05:17):
So my mom is done with the niceties and for realities.
She straightly and squarely says, so when can we expect
some money back? I'll write down transcript of the entitled
ant and my mom, who do you want to be? Okay,
I'll be, I'll be the entitled dant.

Speaker 1 (01:05:31):
I've told you I don't have the money.

Speaker 6 (01:05:34):
Look, we're strapped for cash too, but we need some
money back.

Speaker 7 (01:05:37):
Unlike you, I've not got any money to spend on
lavish holidays and gold.

Speaker 6 (01:05:43):
My mom had also bought gold earlier, but this was
under a gold scheme from a jewelry store heavily discounted
and way before gold price hiked. My mom usually never
wears her jewelry and sees it as an investment. The
only way my entitled ant even found out is when
my retired grandpa was setting into his bank locker for

(01:06:03):
safe kipping, and she was there when he took it
out of his homelocker to take.

Speaker 1 (01:06:08):
It to the bank.

Speaker 6 (01:06:09):
We can do that because we saved up money, and
that holiday was our first proper family holiday in five years.

Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
We saved up for almost a year ago. We save
up money as well, but we are poor as peasants. Yes,
you are going on holidays and buying new phones.

Speaker 6 (01:06:28):
Either way, we don't owe anyone money, so we can
buy things, because that's what money is for, isn't it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:36):
I mean, what did you do with the money we
gave you?

Speaker 7 (01:06:39):
You are stepping out of your boundary as a younger sister.

Speaker 6 (01:06:43):
Oh, he's mom, I don't care anymore. Just give us
some of your money and we'll give you time, and
you can do it in chunks. How about five hundred
pounds to start with? Okay, So anyway, how's the weather heard?
There's been heavy rains. The call is ended by intitledam.
Then my intitledet proceeds to block my mom on WhatsApp.
My mom says she doesn't care anymore and will keep

(01:07:04):
on pressuring them until they get their money back and
apology from my cousin who insulted her. I might be biased,
but no matter how tight our finances are, we must
almost never compromise on things for our family. My mom
has always fills her suitcase with snacks and inninities, stationary
and utilities they don't find in their country. Or when

(01:07:26):
I helped my mom save up to buy my grandma
a new phone, my uncle and Apple watch, his wife
a new phone, and their kid in Ninendo switch and
as he's always looking out for mine, my entitled aunt
saw these things and called out favoitism, favoritism among the
family and said that we didn't deserve the money back

(01:07:47):
because my mom was able to buy these things for
the family. My dad, who is a psychiatrist and has
been for the last twenty years, says my aunt is
essentially jealous of all these things and it is expecting
something from my mom. My uncle, my mom's younger brother,
the one who's got Napple Watch, was able to save
up and buy my other aunt an airfryer as a

(01:08:09):
housewarming gift. My entitlant aunt tried to swindle the package
on the way there, as we had to travel to
two different vehicles. That's crazy for an air frier.

Speaker 7 (01:08:18):
It's like she's like, oh, you're getting all of these
other fine utilities for these other people. I deserve something too,
And it's like, well, yeah, you got four hundred thousand dollars, like, think.

Speaker 1 (01:08:31):
We got youa dude. That's wild? Yeah, an air frior
interest on this.

Speaker 6 (01:08:37):
Honestly, this woman doesn't know what Facebook marketplace is.

Speaker 1 (01:08:40):
Well.

Speaker 7 (01:08:40):
I mean, if you want to get a brand new something,
you guess yeah, yeah, thief, thief.

Speaker 6 (01:08:47):
Our car left earlier, but due to some car issues
and breaking down, we had to stop and stay in
a small village off the motorway until someone rescued us
or repaired the car. My uncle, who was driving the
other car, my entitled aunt, and other people wanted to
come and pick us up or at least connect with
us for comfort's sake. The village was very hot, as
a heat wave was sweeping through. It was around fifty celsius,

(01:09:11):
and the ac was one of the things that broke
in the vehicle. We had no place to actually sit down,
nothing to eat properly, as we didn't want to eat
something bad and be sick on the road trip, and
not to mention, there was literally nowhere to go to
the bathroom. My dad and my phone didn't have any signal,
and this was only twenty minutes away from the state border.
My entitled aunt said no in order my uncle to

(01:09:32):
keep driving and to essentially leave us stranded. My grandpa,
who was on it as well, then said to my
uncle to ignore my aunt and to drive to us. Dude,
this aunt, what is the problem? She literally wants you dad,
so she can take all your things.

Speaker 7 (01:09:47):
Yeah, I don't know, Like what we're wrong to get
her to be this entitled in her life? Like was
she always like this even as a child.

Speaker 1 (01:09:57):
Or she always got the can first before dinner? Yeah?
I guess so. God, It's just like, how do you
even talk with this person?

Speaker 7 (01:10:06):
Because she avoided the question earlier when when the mom
was like, so what did what do you even do
with the money that we gave you?

Speaker 1 (01:10:13):
If you're poor as peasants? What do you spend your
money on?

Speaker 2 (01:10:16):
Then?

Speaker 1 (01:10:16):
And she was like, how dare you speak out of line?

Speaker 2 (01:10:19):
I'm older, you little sister.

Speaker 1 (01:10:22):
You can't ask me questions about what I do with
your four hundred thousand dollars. Dude.

Speaker 6 (01:10:26):
She definitely would have slapped her if they had that
in person.

Speaker 1 (01:10:30):
You take the glove off and slap her with the glove.
That's what she would do because she's a rich person.

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
Back to the story, the air Friar was in their vehicle.

Speaker 6 (01:10:38):
My uncle didn't tell anyone what it was. Actually, it
was just an unmarked heavy box, but it was meant
to be surprised to everyone. Once they had reached us,
my uncle and grandpa came to us while my aunt
and my uncle's kids and wife stay behind. I told
them that tried to open the package see what was
in it. Other kids were trying to figure out. I
didn't make sure it returned with them. My uncle came

(01:11:01):
back to the car soon after since something was wrong,
and moved the package to our car. When my entitled
aunt went on a walk. Geez, didn't expect this supposed
to be so long. My finger's hurt. So all my
parents clowns to pressure my aunt for their money, for
her money, my mom for not being nice to my aunt,
and my uncle suspecting something to trying to seal something

(01:11:22):
from him.

Speaker 1 (01:11:22):
Uh.

Speaker 6 (01:11:23):
I didn't understand that last one. But with the money,
no get your money back. Also, there's this thing called
you can take it to higher people and they can
like put it through like these logistics and laws and
things like that.

Speaker 1 (01:11:35):
Right, what is that called lawyers?

Speaker 2 (01:11:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:11:38):
Yeah? And you take it to what court?

Speaker 9 (01:11:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:11:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 9 (01:11:42):
Do that

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My girlfriend CHEATED on me… her parents took her back to their country! | Reddit Stories

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My girlfriend CHEATED on me… her parents took her back to their country! | Reddit Stories