October 7, 2025 • 48 mins
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00:17 r/relationships - I want to make sure I'm not going crazy (23 M)
20:18 r/AIO - AIO? GF and DND mate
36:16 r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC - ITAH for blocking my partners ex who we co parenting with?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John, this is the m Okay Storytime podcast hosts,
and we have some.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Good story is coming up for you. That's right. But
before that, we have a little morsel of a two
minute outbreak from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
My girlfriend cheated with her friend who's living with us.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
That's a complicated living situation.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
I'm a twenty three year old male and my partner
is a twenty three year old female. We've been together
since we were fourteen, starting as a long distance relationship
that evolved into living together throughout college. Our relationship was solid.
Both families treated us like their own children, and we
were completely in sync with each other. By the way
this comes from, I'm only sleeping and if you want
(00:43):
to spit your own stories, go to the r slash
Okay Storytime, separate it.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, and I'm Dakota.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
And Op says. During college she started talking to a
guy named Asher online. Eventually they began skyping regularly, and
I talked to him many times as well.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Okay, were you gonna say ash Roth or not?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
No?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Is that why you paused? Why did you pause?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I was gonna say what kind of name is Asher?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
No, I thought you were gonna say catch them all?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yuh dang.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
We had three completely different takes right there.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
But then I felt like that would be rude to
anyone named Ashers, so I wasn't gonna say it, and
then you made me say it.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Shut out my boy, Asher, queen.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
I don't know any Ashers.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Did you named a kid that? So you do know what?
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yeah? Yeah? Then I go, what kind of name is Asher?
To my kid? Every day? He's high functioning, autistic, kind
of weird at times, but you wouldn't think he had
autism if you met and I've learned that you actually
apparently put autism into like three. It's like autism one
onto something like that, like levels.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Oh wow, there's tears.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
I don't think it's tears. I think it's just instead
of high functioning low functioners, it's like you refer to
it in levels.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Wait, I'm trying to increase my level.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
We all got along pretty well initially, though she'd sometimes
stay up with him until one to three am, which
pissed me off because we wouldn't get to spend the
night together. We argued about it frequently. Their relationship became
unhealthily close. They'd fall asleep on Skype, but keep it
running or just leave it on without even talking.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
See, that's what my girlfriend and I do, and that's
what girlfriend and boyfriend should do.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
You know, but they're not girlfriend boyfriend Opie.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Yeah, yeah, I know. I know. This is this is wrong.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
This is wrong.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You should not fall asleep on discord. I will sleep
a kitten.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
They leave it on without talking. I do that with
a lot of my friends. I just overnight, not overnight.
But I'm not talking about the leave it on while sleeping.
I'm talking about the other one. Oh, he said, of
just leaving it on without even talking, I do that
with a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Wait, Dakota, do you based on your girl overnight? No? Okay,
because I actually no.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
We did that one time and we both asleep.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Dude. I have a hack, and it's getting a tripod. Dude.
It has made my life so much easier.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I can't fall asleep on FaceTime.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Wait is fall asleep tripod? Hold on?
Speaker 3 (02:58):
That just caught up to me.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
You have a tripod for you know the thing that
face times? Yeah, you know the thing that I use
whatever I'm like face like calling Eddie or something. I
have to show him something in the computer.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Despite this, she and I were still happy together wait
wait wait wait, doing activities and maintaining our connection. Six
months ago, she graduated while I still had a full
semester left. During my final semester, I was swamped with
a capstone project and three other CS classes. She felt
lonely at home without a job, and her identity as
a student was gone. Asher also lives at home doing nothing,
(03:32):
no job, no education, just living in his parents' garage. Mmm,
and Lou says, as per the DSM five ASD support
needs are categorized in three levels. Yeah, okay, so I
was right.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
So what I'm getting here is a lack of greater
purpose with two people, so they found each other.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Mmm.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
So if you don't have a job, kind of have
a lack of purpose within how do I contribute back?
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yeah? I mean a lot of my friends are who
are you know, graduated This is kind of their first
year as little baby adults like have had a lot
of trouble figuring out how to manage that transition where
they want to live. A lot of them either live
with their parents or are still living, you know, near
our college and it's a yeah, it's a tricky transition period,
(04:18):
so I understand what she's feeling. The rate at which
they talked increased dramatically. I was distracted by my coursework
and didn't realize what was happening. After I graduated two
months ago, I finally understood the situation and gave her
an ultimatum, him or me. She convinced me the compromise
unlimited contact instead, but that didn't actually happen. They seem
(04:41):
to need daily contact constantly on Skype or aim. Earlier
this month, Asher came to stay with us for two weeks.
I had mixed feelings, but wanted to make her happy,
even though it meant a twenty hour round trip to
pick him up. I thought to myself beforehand that I'd
regret it, and I was right.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Dude, he's trying to boing your girl.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Wait as sure the guy that is trying to take
your girl is staying with you. That was the compromise.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Oh also, their twenty hour round trip. That's that's the
cherry on top right there. So even if you kick
him out, guess what, you still.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Have to travel twenty hours. Why did you all do this?
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Why?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Why?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
That's a forty hour work week.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
That's crazy to pick up the guy that your girlfriend's cheating.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
With because a round truck is picking him up and
coming back. Yeah, boom boom ten hours. Dude.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
He's been nice and generally fun, but how they interact
disturbs me. They both sat in the back of the
car together while I drove. They made you uber them.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
My gosh, what is this?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Oh pee? At a certain point you gotta put your
foot down.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Is this the non confrontational, oh whatever you say kind
of guy?
Speaker 3 (05:57):
The other day, I was with one of my best friends.
It was me and my other friend were in the
back of the car and uh, the friend who was
in the upfront seat left and I went, thanks, hooper driver.
She said, no, not happening. Get in the front. So
you could have just done that op Yeah, making me
feel like a dang chaperone. When I asked her to
sit up front with me, she refused. They were laying
(06:20):
on each other with legs crossing over. Dude, oh pee.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I was this guy once where whatever my girlfriend wanted
I did, but I would never let it get this far.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
When they sit together, he touches her face and head
and grabbing it sometimes and she doesn't seem bothered. He
lays on her and sits very close, more than friends
would do. She reciprocates by laying on him, touching his feet,
laying with his big toe ros ew and leaning toward him,
even when I'm sitting right next to her. One time,
he was laying with his head touching her leg while
(06:52):
we watched TV ew Riley showing me his big toe.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
I thought we were friends, grows, grows, I thought we
were frad.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
No, get it out. She's been staying up extremely late
with them until five am one night, one am the
previous night, when we normally go to bed by midnight. Okay,
so at least emotionally okay?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Was this guy? Yeah, seems like he's cool with all this.
I would request that my girlfriend do one thing. Yeah,
yassidy belt. Hey, so, but.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
They're emotionally cheating.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
I'm okay with you emotionally cheating on me apparently, but
physically I'm not. Would you mind wearing this and if
you do take it off? I don't think I can
continue this.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
I think I would also get the emotional cheating chastity belt,
which is just a the bottomy like just straight up
turn my brain into mush and I don't care anymore.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Yeah, emotions.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
These people would never see you or hear from me again. Yeah,
I saw this behave if you're happening, I would, dude,
immediately become a feeling and live in the wood.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
To imagine driving ten hours there picking up the guy
and you have to drive another ten.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Hours playing with his big toe.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
No, I would be like, get out.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
I would be like, you can walk, you can use
that walk.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Fifteen minutes into the trip, Okay, you got to get out.
Here's a restaurant.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
I need to know if I'm being crazy or if
these behaviors are something I should worry about. And there
is an update? Oh pee, why are you worrying about them?
So little brother? You gotta worry about the way more.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
You let this go on too long. You shouldn't even
let him sleep over at night.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
To get Yeah, I shouldn't have gone to pick him
up twenty hours to pick up the guy that's cheating
with your girlfriend is wild? Move brother, wild dude.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Imagine these Reddit comments right after he posted it.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Oh, the comments are like you need to wake the fox,
wake the girl out, Like what are you doing I
was like the top comments, It's like, can you imagine
driving twenty hours to pick this guy up now and
then do nothing about it?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
No, I certainly cannot, But there is an update. After
posting this, around midnight, I waited for comments that gave
me confidence to address the situation. They would probably mean comments.
I went to bed and asked my SO to stay
with me, saying I needed to tell her something. She
said she'd be back in a bed. I stayed up
all night waiting for her until I fell asleep at
(09:29):
five am. When I got up to pee, I saw
him on a laptop with her sleeping on the couch
next to him. I woke up again later and found
he was finally in the guest room, while she was
still on the couch. I gently woke her and we
went to bed together. At two pm, I woke her
up for the conversation we should have had days ago.
After discussing the inappropriate behavior, which she agreed was problematic,
(09:51):
I told her I was thinking about punting him out
real quick.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
He woke her up at two pm.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
Yeah, he let her sleep. After seeing her sleep with
the other guy. He went to bed. Sorry, okay, just
to understand that again, I'm gonna condense that he stayed
up all night, presumably she was in the other room. Sure,
he stayed up all night waiting for her to come back,
falls asleep at five am, wakes up, sees her sleeping
(10:19):
with this guy, lets it lie, comes back out, sees
she's still sleeping there. They go back to bed, still
doesn't bring it up, and then at two pm finally
has the conversation, Wow.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
This is what happens when you don't have a purpose,
You just and she's attaching herself to this other guy
and they're just kind of, you know, together, wondrously walking
around the earth doing whatever. Yeah, she thinks it's fine, Like,
so why was when people get lost crazy?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
She didn't like this idea, but as we argued about it,
I decided I was going to do it. Once he
woke up as I was getting dressed. That's when she
told me they kissed last night. Of course they did.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
And you can kiss my ars goodbye.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
See, they were literally sleeping together, slightly crying. I immediately
went to the guest room, banged on the door and
punted it open. He was sleeping on an air mattress
below me. I should have punted his effing face and
thrown him out violently instead, knowing only about the kiss.
Is there more that you now know about? I angrily
but calmly told him to get the f out. He
(11:28):
instantly woke up and nearly fell off the bed with
fear in his eyes. I repeatedly told him I wasn't
going to hit him, which I now regret. I told
him to use the bathroom quickly and pack his crap.
While he was in the bathroom, I gathered his belongings
in the living room so he could pack faster. When
I felt he was taking too long, I banged on
the door, saying, if you don't come out soon, I'm
(11:49):
gonna have to come in there and get you out.
He came out and packed up. When he was almost done,
my s so started pleading for me not to punt
him out. I immediately interrupted, shut the f u I
can get really mean, real fast. Then I was out
the door with him.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but the speech.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Why is it happening now?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
It's like, clearly, op, he is capable of a lot
of you know, aggression and confrontation. Why is it? Why
is it now coming out.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Also, the way he's going about it, I'm like, not great.
I can get really mean real fast.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Yeah, let's just kick him out or you leave, you
break up with them.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
I feel this is my personal opinion in these moments,
whenever you're angry, the quieter you are, the bore deadly,
you can make the situation. Yeah, it's like get out,
ooh oo.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Made you made yourself scared. Yeah, then I was out
the door with him. I should mention that I always
made sick jokes with this guy nobody else, and he
didn't like it either, But I do it anyway. For example,
the day before I printed out a shopping with but
also included pictures of a mask, rope, knife, and duct tape.
When he saw it while shopping, I told him those
(13:02):
were things I needed for our hiking trip in the woods.
He found it awkward and disturbing, while I laughed. I
don't like you. I don't think.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I think everyone in this situation sucks. Here needs new
friend groups and new social circles.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
What do you mean you make sick jokes with just
this guy?
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Who are you that right there? That joke makes me
feel like your subconscious knows what's happening. Yeah, but you're
not like accepting it, and your suconsciounce is like, I
want to take this guy out of the middle of
the woods.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Yeah, weird. Two days before punting him out, I'd gotten
very wasted. Starting at lunch, I played GTA online, flying
planes into buildings while crying and listening to that song
on repeat for hours.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Dude, this is going downhill so fast.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
I also wrote love messages to my esso and notepads
during bathroom breaks. I never do crap like that, but
I was so disturbed by the situation that I hit
in myself and inadvertently pushed my ESSO away. Days later,
I found out he told my esso I was unstable
during that time. That's true. You are very clearly unstable.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
I would agree with him on that.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
A lot of things that are unsettling about this story, so.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
That combination works great. When I was punting him out,
he thought I was unstable and possibly dangerous. You see
him both. It seems like you are both unstable and
possibly dangerous.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Nah, it's just the fun little game.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
He's a ruse.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
He's just playing five dimensional chessh.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
My calm anger must have freaked him out completely. I
told him i'd drop him at a hotel. He was
going to sit and back, but I made him sit
up front. I wanted him as uncomfortable as possible. While driving,
I thought about taking him to the woods as a joke.
I live in a rural area, so that wouldn't have
been that hard this time. The sick joke was meant
to scare him, but my desire to get him away
(14:58):
from me overrode my desire or to scare him. I
took him straight to a hotel. As I parked, I
told him, don't try to contact my SHO unless she
contacts you. Because of free will and all.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
You did not do that.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I'm sorry you didn't do that.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Bro did not say that.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
More importantly, I drove back to my s O, who
was taking a shower. When I got back, I opened
the bathroom door as she was drying off. I immediately asked
if anything else happened besides the kiss. She didn't answer
right away. I repeatedly asked, becoming more agitated as she
stayed silent, thinking the worst. Then she told me that
(15:35):
other stuff had happened too, and that.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Can you can you be very creative with how you
say it because our podcast listeners.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Then she told me went to third base, that he
he did some typing practice, he.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Did some head shoulders food and uh.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Oh wow.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I immediately broke down, crying and broke her cell phone
to prevent them from contacting each other right away. Dude,
you're such an idiot you broke her cell phone. Stop it.
You are unstable, dude, it's weird. She needs to get
out of there. Like, obviously she's the a hole for
cheating on you, but she needs to get out of
there because she's not safe.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
She probably didn't feel like she could get out of there.
That's why she's been doing this with this other guy.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
I mean, like, you are very clearly unstable, Opie. In
the next few days are a blur of crying, sleeping,
and randomly driving around. It's been a rough week, though
we're both feeling better now. What we've talked extensively that
what happened, leaving nothing as an elephant in the room. No,
you've always been truthful with each other and discussed everything. Huh.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
This person needs to be your insignificant other, an insignificant stranger.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Not only do you need to break up with her,
for her cheating on you. She needs to break up
with you because you're acting crazy. There's a little bit
left to the story, but it sounds like they're staying
together and that's insane. Well, you know why they love
each other.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
They've been together since fourteen. This is all they ever know.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Apparently, Apparently they don't know how a relationship and properly.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
The biggest thing that I'm seeing here is how they
are super codependent on one another, and they don't. I don't
think they realize that one breaking up to an option
and that two you can go out and do things.
Because we can clearly see here with a girlfriend one,
she has a lack of greater purpose. She doesn't really
seem to have that many like social.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Circles, doesn't seem like she has a lot of friends.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah. And and the person she did make a friend of,
she's had to convince her boyfriend to become this friend.
This guy had other intentions. He's kind of also in
the same boat. Yeah, And of course they make a
dependent relationship there. And this isn't good. This isn't good
for anyone.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
All bad, all bad across the board.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Wow, this is crazy, break up, break up now, hopefully
you bought a new phone and got her some flowers. Yeah,
I don't know. I don't even know that hell.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Broke hurt phone. That's insane. We love each other the
same way we did before we realized situational factors played
a role. What situational factors? That you saw that they
were cheating on you and did nothing and then went crazy,
and that she cheated on you, those are the situational factors.
She cheated on you, though she still takes full responsibility.
(18:18):
I thought Asher was my friend, but he completely disrespected
me and did one of the worst things possible. I
will never talk to him again, and neither will my ESSO.
I doubt that. If I ever see him, I plan
to punt him in the face. If my ESO ever
talks to him again, I will leave her. Leave her now. Yeah, no,
you won't, bro You didn't even leave her now. She
(18:40):
cheated on you physically and emotionally going to contact him.
The only reason I've forgiven her for doing the worst
thing she could do to me is because of how
much I love her. Yikes, she's my soulmate, and I
understand the situational factors, and that she didn't fully understand
what was happening.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Didn't fully understand what was happening. Oh, it's just typing practice.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
What do you mean she didn't understand what was happening.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Stayed up all night, she was playing with the big.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Seem like she understood when she was talking to him
all night, seemed like she understood when she went twenty
hours to go pick him up.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
So she could play with his big toe in the
back seat.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
And certainly seemed like she understood when she hooked up
with them.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Boom boom boom. It's the really, the most disturbing thing
to me is definitely what ope he's doing here. It's
a big toe. It's a big toe thing.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
For me in the back seat.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
That's weird. That's different.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Even I didn't part denial, part weird crap going on.
I do blame her and hold her accountable. She now
needs to earn my trust again, especially regarding online communication
with others.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Oh, now it's even worse because now you're gonna see
and look over everything she does online.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Yikes, he's gonna be so controlling. Like again, he broke
her phone and did all of this crazy stuff. After
finding that out, there's no way that he's not gonna
be look it over her shoulder at everything.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
She needs to earn my trust again? Hikes, this is
Is that a sentence you can ask someone, Hey, you
need to earn my trust again? Can you say that
to someone?
Speaker 3 (20:09):
I think you can. But there are situations where it
becomes very controlling. But that's the end of that story, folks.
And we've got another one coming right up.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
My girlfriend's D and D role play with another guy
continued outside of the game.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
Ooh, they got a little bit into.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
Their characters and a little bit into each other.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
A bit of context. My female twenty three girlfriend, female
twenty one of eight years, has been with her D
and D group for let's say two years or so.
In every campaign they had, she's never established a romantic
relationship with any of the other players characters. Neither does
the DM, giving her roots to have any romantic relationships
(20:49):
strictly platonic. By the way, this comes from karasou Oa.
And if you want to speak your own stories, what
are the r slash okay story telling subreddit? I'm Riley,
I'm Sophia, I'm key on no, he says this new campaign. However,
I found out that one of the new players that
will hide with the name Josh Mel twenty one. I've
(21:10):
pitched an idea of his character and my girlfriend's character
falling in a loving relationship. He pitched it, Yeah, Is
that okay?
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Personally? If he's pitching it as them falling in love,
that is a little weird to me because you don't
usually plan that.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
It's usually a brand new character, like a it seems
like a new.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Normally, what I would let's say I were pitching this,
it would be like we have a relationship or we
had a relationship and that is our character background, like
we're divorced or whatever. It wouldn't be like I want
to fall in love because that's an improv quo quote.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
My Archer character human Archer needs a key in your queen,
and I pitched the idea that I have to sleep
with the queen in order to you is that weird?
Speaker 3 (21:56):
If not? If it were in game?
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Now now real quick, what if my Archer care needs
to sleep with the little Grimlin guy and it's Keon's character,
and I pitched that I have to sleep with But.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
That would be in game. You would be saying, like
during the game, you'd be like I want to roll
to do this, or like, oh, this is my plan.
You wouldn't do that when you were creating characters.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Even if your character is the Queen and his is
the Gremlin. If it's in game, it doesn't matter. But
if I'm like, mine should hook up with your character,
that's weird. Yeah I would say mine should hook up
with Keon's character. Is that weird?
Speaker 3 (22:23):
But no, I'm just saying.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
I'm just if it's like male the male, if that's weird.
If it's male the female outside of the game, it's
still weird birthways.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
I'm not even seeing it as like, oh, it's a
weird thing, male or female. I'm just saying it doesn't
make sense game mechanic to pre plan relationship because it's not.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Improv Can we get a poll real quick?
Speaker 3 (22:45):
But I think that is weird for him to say.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yeah, cheating or na real quick. At first I was confused,
but then went with it, considering as an RPG and
doesn't really translate into real life. My girlfriend is also
an artist, so she creates arts works for other players,
which I find absolutely great for her since she gets
(23:07):
to exercise her skills and such, so naturally in her instinct.
She will draw her character and Josh's character in romantic
comments that illustrates as to what is happening to the
campaign and to show me, hey, look it's my and
Josh's character and would explain that this was what was
currently happening in the campaign. As usual. I find her
(23:30):
works awesome and I get interested with the story, so
I tell her to keep me updated. Every now and then,
she keeps giving me updates about the romantic progression of
her and Josh's character, and there were times where I
felt awkward about it, but I didn't press her for it.
She showed me a conversation of her and Josh from
her phone that was talking about the campaign and their
(23:53):
characters love for one another and all that that it
came to the point of me feeling weird about it.
This is also whenever coworkers have a this is my
work wife m M that kind of vibe.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
It is a little bit different, but again because it
was premeditated, I think it is.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
A little weird, Like, can you I imagine He's like,
I can't wait to go see my girlfriend today at
D and D.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Like I think if they were coming, they were like, oh,
my God, and like this character we had like my character,
Like we realized this whole thing, and it was coming
from purely a storytelling thing. But again, I think because
he was like, I want my character to be in
love with your character.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
And that's the only story.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Yeah, that's the only story. It's like, what that's.
Speaker 4 (24:35):
My character's background is my character falls in love with
your character.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
It doesn't even make sense to plan that.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
I know this might be a bad move that I made,
but I had a hunch that something else was going on.
This is all she could talk about was her and
Josh and their characters. I took a peek at their
conversation from her phone. I know privacy and all, but
we both don't necessarily mind if we look into each
other's phones as we do it all the time went away,
(25:00):
I just got weirded out even more. I saw chats
and texts of them, both with romantic undertones and even
spicy related ones, as if they were both role playing,
as if their characters even outside of the game.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Weird, weird, weird. Why are you role playing as your
characters outside of the game in a romantic context?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
That's weird, Sophia, How else am I supposed to get.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Better in prova or in D and D.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
D one that takes time and money. Why can't I
just text the person I'm already role playing with and.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Just role playing with them. I think it's totally fine
to have people have role playing groups all the time.
I think, do you have a one on one role
playing group where you're having a romantic relationship with someone?
Is weird?
Speaker 2 (25:46):
For example, Josh referring to my partner as her partner's
name and vice versa, and my blood instantly boiled in
my disbelief. When she woke up. I immediately confronted her
about it, and she was just like, it's D and D.
We roll play.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
That's such a cop out. No, And you guys know me,
like I have the like we read other stories where
I've been like, no, this is just D and D.
That's role playing. They're improvising. This is not that. There's
a huge difference.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
If I was weird, I wouldn't done what OPI was doing. Yeah,
I would have gone to like could I see a
session or could I joined in a session as like
a one off character or just like an NPC.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
And like, I get that, but it's necessary for them
to do all that even outside of the campaign. No,
maybe I'm just overthinking it. What do you guys think
we have some comments?
Speaker 3 (26:39):
You know, what is normal outside of campaign? Oh my god,
Like Mike, like, that was really cool thing that your
character did. That's crazy, Like that was really interesting storyline.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Oh, it'd be interesting if you had this potion. I've
ever thought of this potion. We just could do this.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Wait, okay, I know we have a battle coming up.
Do you think that if we like strategize.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
Like what's our what's our tactics here?
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Yeah, that's normal. Not Oh, it'd be crazy if like
the next time our people have made like she like
does her weird thing with her thing and then her
crazy ponytail does this with my butt and then ye yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
I really wish you were on my dn D session
because it sounded exactly like that. You think I'm kidding.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
This makes me think, does she not feel threatened by
Josh at first because she's like, oh, my partner is lesbian? Well,
we don't know, she could be bye, but like she's
attracted to me. I'm not threatened by Josh because I
know she's attracted to me. But what I'm trying to
say is she's in a relationship with OP. She's like, Oh,
I'm not threatened, it's just Josh whate. That's probably another
(27:36):
thing happening here, potentially so coming number one. It's weird
that the DM would even allow this. This is a
really common problem with an easy rule workaround no relationships
between PC characters, simple enough. But yeah, it's super weird
and I would be sketched out too, especially because they
are talking it oh oge out of game. I considered
(27:59):
this emotional cheating in my opinion, not really one for ultimatums,
but I'd pretty much let my significant other know it's
me or them continue to fantasy role play relationship or
have a real one with me your choice. Ope, says
the DM actually told them basically, Hey, this is a
new route for us to try and drama for the
(28:19):
entire team and the storyline, so let's try it out.
By says, Oh, so the DM is enabling it. Gotcha?
Why does this feel premeditated?
Speaker 3 (28:28):
Because it was premeditated. He asked to have this relationship
before the campaign started.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Does this new guy like your girlfriend? And got the
DM to play along with them so he can re
enact his fantasy with her under the guise of role play.
Super creepy ope, he says, honestly, I have no idea
if he does or not. Plus even if we ask
him about it, he'll just downright deny it. I find
it also weird that my girlfriend has established that she's
(28:57):
a sapphig and hates anything has to do romantically with men,
but role plays different. I guess you can say, but
her character might be straight, but it feels off for me.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
No, okay, okay, Well that goes to your point of
the girlfriend being like, oh, it's not a problem because
I'm not interested in men. Again, I do believe there's
something fishy going on here, But in the sense of
like D and D, I think it's pretty common for
people to play very different characters to themselves, because again,
it is a character. Like I've played characters that are
men in D and D, which is just like totally
(29:33):
different from like obviously me. I think the issue here
is that they're taking this outside of game and premeditating it,
and I think.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
That's strange comming too. Your reaction is valid, as with
anything that comes to fantasy. The problem lies when it
started to affect real life.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
Agreed.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
The same happens more often than not when work, school, church,
or whatever. Friends start doing this outside of the place
of meeting and without their partner or significant other. Always
start intentionally, and it is very easy to view it
as just friends when on the inside, so they can't
see when boundaries are being crossed and emotional cheating is started.
(30:11):
If you two have a solid relationship, then definitely have
a talk with her about these things and that whole campaigning.
You are totally cool with it since it's in the game,
others are participating and so on. It's the taking it
to the real world that has you concerned, because it
is very easy to step into problem territory without realizing it.
(30:32):
It is very possible that her gamemate could have a
thing for her, so, whether intentional or not, it's encouraging
and inappropriate via the game without knowing if she's super
naive and not picking up on it, or if she's
just openly enjoying the flattery, or even if she is
interested in him as well and utilizing this in a
(30:54):
way to see what happens. Nobody but her and you
can say talk to and discuss what's happening and how
it is causing you her in concern. Hopefully she will
understand and cut the communication to just game night, or
at least cut the role playing communication to that. If
she doesn't, then the next cushion would have to be
about the relationship between you both and whether or not
(31:18):
she wants to continue it.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
I think that's a great point. I think another way
to look at it is like when I'm doing a
play that has like intimacy choreography in it, Like usually
if you're doing like a you know, a play that
has good safety measures around it and stuff, Yeah, wouldn't
go tell your actors to go practice the kiss at home.
You would do that with a choreographer and with the
(31:41):
director there and be like, okay, this is these are
the beats. Okay, now this is the part where we kiss,
And a lot of times you don't even do that
kiss until much later. And so in this sense, you
wouldn't be role playing at home together alone and not
in the actual campaign. Yeah, I think this is weird.
Whether or not she's into him, he's.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Her Oh absolutely. If I'm a game night and I'm
entertaining this kind of conversation, yeah, I said a game
I'm definitely into this person. Come on, so update John here.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
We're gonna get back to this juicy story, but a
quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
I've opened this up to my girlfriend once more after
taking a few hours to cool off and think what
my next actions are. Her reasoning was basically, it's only
role playing for me, since that's what we players do
and we role play in general. Am I reply to
that was I know it's role playing, and I know
(32:36):
that's what you do with D and D, but what
you and Josh are doing is taking it to another
level by being private and even talking in a spicy
related manner. I've told her what she did started to
hurt me in an emotional way, and I somewhat felt
betrayed that she would even have the thought of doing it.
(32:56):
It came to the point where tears were being brought
out because I couldn't control my emotions and frustrations anymore.
She gave me a hug and apologized for her actions
and told me, I didn't know that this was going
to affect you this much. It really was just a
game for me. I enjoyed it too much that I
started neglecting what you're feeling and Honestly, at that point,
(33:19):
all I could do was cry. He then sat me
up next to her laptop station and pulled up the
conversation with her DM and told him to erase every
part of the story that had anything to do with
the love story between her character and Josh's. The DM's confusion,
he said, but I already finished the story for the campaign,
so now I'll have to redo it again. After that,
(33:41):
she told me she was going to chat with Josh.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
I don't understand why the player character relationship has so
much to do with the story of the campaign.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
MMMM week campaign, because a lot of movies and stuff
usually rely on a relationship and maybe the campaign's.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
A week and so in other campaigns, I'm basing this
off of a lot of like the D twenty campaigns
I've seen, there's a lot of romantic relationships in those stories.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
And tell them about the situation and that it was
already too much. I was watching by her side as
she did it, telling Josh that it was wrong and
she saw the wrong in it now and that she
was going to walk away from this role play romance.
After a few minutes later, Josh replied and basically said, uh, Okay,
can I keep all the art though we have a
(34:24):
little bit more. What do you think the art is now?
Speaker 3 (34:27):
I'm like, well, well, I don't want that art. You
just want it because it's cool art and it's good,
well for other reasons suspicious.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
After that, she decided to take a break from interacting
with their D and D friends and decided to hang
out with me the rest of the day. Though. After
the hangout, me resting on her arm while watching TV,
she decided to check her phone for updates in their
group chat and showed me the conversation of Josh and
the others still going at the topic of his character
and her character being together and all the art and whatnot,
(34:56):
as if he's very still into it. She asked me
if she should intervene with her friends now. I just
gave her a look. She nodded, and texting them to
stop with the issue. I don't know if this was
the right move for me to make, since people in
the comments told me it's basically cheating, but for now
I'm relieved it ended. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
I guess my final comments on this is going back
to the confusion about this DM setup, because when you
have two non player characters, the DM has almost complete
control over their relationship. Let's say they're in a romantic relationship.
If you have a non player character and a player
a PC better character who are in a relationship, the
DM has control over what that not NPC does, okay,
(35:39):
but not over what the player does, okay. And when
you have two player characters in a romantic relationship, the
DM has no control. I don't understand why. He was like, well,
I have to change my entire storyline. You can't plan
anything that your players do. I feel like the DM
was in on it.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Bro, Bro, I'm kind of into this chicken.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
Yeah. It's like when the teacher. It's like the teacher
puts two kids who have a crush.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
I feel like that. Again, the DM was enabling it.
But the DEM was like, okay, guys, let's do something different.
They're like, why don't we just base this off like
just a romantic relationship.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
You're like that.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
Doesn't it make sense?
Speaker 4 (36:11):
Why?
Speaker 3 (36:12):
But that's the end of that story. Well, we got
another story book. I'm co parenting with my boyfriend's X
and it's a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
I was like, you need to wake up.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
I started dating my partner about a year ago. He
told me from the jump that he had kids and
actively co parented with his ex. I couldn't have the kids,
so the idea of being a bonus mom appealed to me.
By the way, this comes from Bag three sixty seven,
and if you want to smit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay, storytime, separate it. I'm Sophia,
I'm Riley, and.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Oh, my gosh, all the time.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
That is the third time she sent it today.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
No, no, I apolo josic human I see you as
a human. Anyways, let's do it again.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, Oh I have time, I'm ke
On and op says.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
I realized quickly, though, that their situation wasn't typical. On paper,
it's fifty to fifty, but in reality he has them
eighty twenty. She had moved too far away to get
the kids to school on time without them having to
wake up at the crack of dawn. She has a
job with a set in time, so it's the only
way they decided it could work. She does stuff with
(37:24):
their sports and its two weekends a month. About three
months into us dating, I had to go on a
date with her, essentially for her to feel me out.
It was their agreement. The whole thing was weird, but
she approved of me. So I got to meet the kids.
A few months later. I moved in a few months later,
you moved in. Girl. Also, just like, what is the
(37:45):
dad doing? I mean, personally, I feel like, if you
had kids in the picture, take a little bit longer,
you know, to introduce Yeah, yes, II one hundred percent.
Speaker 4 (37:56):
No.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
By most people's common timelines, it was fast. It was
a necessity thing that ended up working out better for
both of us. He's a disabled amputee veteran who has
problems cleaning around the house. The kids also got into
STEM programs across town from each other, so having someone
else to take one is essential now that school has started.
So you moved in so that you could help him
(38:18):
care for his kids.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
All right, you're very sweet. Seems like a very sweet
thing to do.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
It is a very sweet thing to do.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
I just also, you're giving a lot of yourself very quickly.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
Yes, honestly, they took to me really quickly, and I
to them. I couldn't imagine life without the three of them.
I know he's ring shopping so this is my fit.
Here are the issues. She claims to want a co
parent with all of us. She has a partner his
ex wife and them don't co parent well at all.
She wants better with me and my partner, or so
(38:48):
she says. She won't acknowledge me on social media. She
won't take my picks from events and tag my partner
and act like they are there together co parenting. I
eventually got tired of it and blocked her. He won't
accept her tags now unless they really were doing it
together and it's like a big day event. As far
as the schooling goes, I know full well classroom management
(39:09):
and grades is their area, not my place. But I
drew drop my bonus daughter off every morning. I will
be going to field trips and helping with projects for
both kids, homework if needed, that kind of stuff. But
anytime something comes up that it doesn't fall in her plans,
she claims we need to put her before me. Example,
meet the teacher. I could only go to the morning
(39:30):
session her the PM for our son, so me and
my partner went. I introduced myself to the teachers as
bonus mom said their mom would be at the afternoon
one after work, got the info we needed, even pre
shared it with her. Mmmmm, Well she got there and
said everyone thought I was the mom, so in the
future he needed to attend the events only with her.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Oh appearances, y'all.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
She can't even make a single school thing because her
job times won't allow it. She's a teacher as well,
and another district, so the chances of her stepping foot
at the school all year are slim. But we tried
everything to make sure everyone and was involved, and that
wasn't good enough. Fast forward to tonight. We were talking
about the school district scores for ours and the neighboring towns.
(40:16):
My twin is a teacher, so me, my twin, and
our older sister were talking about the scores. I mentioned
it to the ex wife and she thought I wanted
to move the kids districts. I said multiple times, I'd
never move them from the opportunities they have here.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Yeah, they seems like they got pretty awesome opportunity here.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Yeah, they go into a STEM school. Her response was, well,
it's the parent's choice, so there is no discussion. You
won't be moving, bro one, I'm a grown adult. Your
agreement says one hundred miles so if we want to move,
we can't. Two. There are four grown adults here and
all of us can talk things out. If we did move,
(40:54):
it would be to the higher rated district. She doesn't
like that it wasn't her idea. She's twenty percent involved
in this parenting agreement.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
I know she feels threatened by this. She feels threatened
by you. She wants to have influence on her kids' lives,
but she can't hot take. I don't think that this woman,
the ex wife, is the villain. I think her perspective
and everything is I had to move for a job,
I had a divorce. I want to keep up with
my kids, but I can't. Ye now, the only way
(41:26):
for me to voice or have any influence is to
disagree with my ex husband's new girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
I think that's absolutely true.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Like she hasn't done anything super a holy Yeah, there's
some comments that she's gonna makee better, but this is
the only way she feels like she has control in
the situation. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
I feel like she sees herself being replaced. Yeah, and
sees op, you know, taking a really big role in
her kids' lives, and a role that she's not able
to fill.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
And she wants to fill it. She just can't. Honestly,
ex wife, you got to have it out with op conversation. Hey,
it's sam og Host.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
We're gonnaet back to these delectable stories.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors to
help support the show.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
She told my partner, I'm just playing mom and she's
the mom.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Bro.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
I buy your kids groceries, cook them dinner, switched my
whole schedule so that they could get to school, something
you wouldn't or couldn't do. And I go to all
of their events. I don't parent them in the sense
of punishment or telling them what to do at school
or doing their doctor's appointments, but me and partner do
discuss all of those things. He values my input and
then makes the final call. We are a well oiled
(42:34):
machine right here.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
For example, if they had that conversation, Hey, I cook,
I pay for the groceries, the x Y could be
that's a good point. Maybe I should help out in
those ways. Maybe I should help up with groceries. I'm
want to be involved in my kids' line. Yeah, and
put an effort of that. Because this is the husband
or the boyfriend he needs help around the house because
he can't do it all. Hope he's stepping into it.
(42:56):
You did x fIF have a conversation.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Yeah, So finally I said I can't do this and
blocked her in my phone too. Anytime I suggest stuff
she fights it anyways, parties, vacations, sports, you name it,
and she has to argue. So I said I can't
keep giving her my piece. That means he is to
go between us. So does that make me the A hole?
There are some comments and an update, but no, I
(43:20):
think that it is absolutely like in part you are
involved in this conversation because you are, you know, one
of the guardians of these kids. Now, however, this is
his ex wife and he needs to handle that and
he shouldn't be putting you between I mean, not that
he is, but you shouldn't have to be bearing the
brunt of these arguments with his ex wife.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Oh. Absolutely, yeah, common one, not the A hole.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
But I'm worried she will try to claim parental alienation
due to your behavior. I think their dad needs to
get a lawyer and consider going back to court to
hash out a proper custody agreement. On paper, it's fifty
to fifty, but you say reality is more like eighty twenty.
Already tells me they should have the custody agreement a
long time ago. The ones who will long term suffer
(44:04):
are to those children. If there are major changes, then
the custody agreement needs to be amended. Every single time
Opie says she used that term, I googled it. I
haven't met any of the requirements. Though we don't bash
her to the kids. We inform her of everything, sent
picks of the school documents we were given. Comment two says,
it sounds like bio mom doesn't want to interrupt her
(44:26):
life or schedule for the kids, so she mostly dumps
them on their dad, but then still expects to have
full control of what happened with the kids even when
they aren't with her. You're kind of being forced to
step up faster than a stepparent normally would because their
dad needs help and biomm isn't willing to make sacrifices
for her kids so that she can be there and
help out. That's not your fault, but you need to
(44:47):
be careful here. You are in the worst possible position
right now, no actual rights, but still given a bunch
of responsibility. If anything goes wrong with the kids, you'll
get blamed and everyone will call you the a hole
because they are aren't yours and what right you have,
et cetera, while totally ignoring that you are one of
the only people putting the kids first. I think the
(45:08):
move here is for you to step way back on
interacting with biomm I think the reason she wants you
so involved is she sees you as another person that
she can make take care of her kids for her
by ordering you around. Going forward, all communications should be
between her and their dad. You just keep doing all
the great things you do for the kids, but now
it will be with their dad's permission, and bio mom
(45:30):
won't be your problem. He is an equal parent and
he is fully allowed to make parenting decisions without you
having to deal with the biomom directly. Comment three says
I don't agree with the first, saying you're overstepping. You're
doing what your boyfriend asks you. Don't try to punish
or anything. It sounds like if you have a discipline issue,
you refer to dad and Dad handles it. At the
meet the teacher, you said, bonus, mom, not your fault.
(45:52):
The teacher misspoke when mom came. You're not letting them
break your boundaries, and your boyfriend in certain situations will
have to be less laid back though. Reply. Maybe he's
asking too much about pe, but there is a little
bit left to the story.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Only people that can intervene here, Yeah, or you and I,
And that's true. We sit down to dad, Yeah, sit down,
the ex wife? Yeah, suit down, OPI who would you call?
Like you have the buddy up with the one person?
Speaker 3 (46:17):
Who would?
Speaker 4 (46:18):
I feel like it could Ghostbusters?
Speaker 2 (46:21):
But okay, you get ex wife. Actually I want to
talk to the X wife.
Speaker 4 (46:24):
I don't want to talk to the ex wife.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
I want to talk to the ex wife. Who do
you call?
Speaker 4 (46:28):
I just want to talk to open talk to the
dad that oh, perfect, perfect, this is perfect.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
So I feel like we all Number one, we all
have a one on one session write down everything.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
Number two, we enact as their lawyers, so we speak
to one to know as mediators, not legally binding on
that too bad.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
You are lawyer, Well we're not.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
It's like a lawyer, but we're not lawyers. But we
all like media and we talk around it and we
like X wife would be like geez doing this and this, this,
and I'd be like, it feels like my client is
as if op you were taking her spot as a mom.
And then what about your client?
Speaker 4 (47:04):
My client is just the chill guy, so she doesn't
deserve any of this.
Speaker 3 (47:09):
Yeah, perfect, and then we figure it out.
Speaker 4 (47:12):
Your honor, she said, leave me alone.
Speaker 3 (47:15):
Yeah, you don't understand. But I think at the end
of the day, I think those comments are right. Your
partner should be taking more of the kind of mediation
role between all of the speaking should be happening between
him and his ex wife and not really you know,
you should have to be put in the middle of it.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
Yes, exactly.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
But there is an update, folks. Update. She messaged him
that she wanted to talk to me, that it had
to be in person. She wanted to set the record
straight so that I could see her point of view
and believe her over my partner. We found out yesterday, oh,
that she's been spreading lies per year that heesayed her.
If y'all knew him, you would know that he could
(47:54):
never she dies ever saying it. But it's a thing
now I denied her access to me. She wants a
healthy co parenting relationship, but is saying this. When she persisted,
I listed out five things in detail that she was
doing to make this not a good situation for all
of us. Her response was see me in person or
I'm not talking. Nope, I like my text evidence and
(48:17):
I'm not listening to her for an hour. I reblocked
her after I sent it and told him it's them too.
Now I'll support him and the kids, but see zero
reasons to talk to her. And that is the end
of that story. Folks, smart, yeah, I think you keep
a text, keep your proof, yeah, and don't let her
lie about things.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
Get receipts, yeah, get them receipts early.
Speaker 3 (48:41):
But that is the end of that story and the
end of this episode. So if you love us, make
sure to subscribe.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
This is John, this is the m Okay Storytime podcast hosts,
and we have some.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Good story is coming up for you. That's right. But
before that, we have a little morsel of a two
minute outbreak from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
My girlfriend cheated with her friend who's living with us.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
That's a complicated living situation.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
I'm a twenty three year old male and my partner
is a twenty three year old female. We've been together
since we were fourteen, starting as a long distance relationship
that evolved into living together throughout college. Our relationship was solid.
Both families treated us like their own children, and we
were completely in sync with each other. By the way
this comes from, I'm only sleeping and if you want
(00:43):
to spit your own stories, go to the r slash
Okay Storytime, separate it.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, and I'm Dakota.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
And Op says. During college she started talking to a
guy named Asher online. Eventually they began skyping regularly, and
I talked to him many times as well.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Okay, were you gonna say ash Roth or not?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
No?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Is that why you paused? Why did you pause?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I was gonna say what kind of name is Asher?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
No, I thought you were gonna say catch them all?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yuh dang.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
We had three completely different takes right there.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
But then I felt like that would be rude to
anyone named Ashers, so I wasn't gonna say it, and
then you made me say it.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Shut out my boy, Asher, queen.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
I don't know any Ashers.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Did you named a kid that? So you do know what?
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yeah? Yeah? Then I go, what kind of name is Asher?
To my kid? Every day? He's high functioning, autistic, kind
of weird at times, but you wouldn't think he had
autism if you met and I've learned that you actually
apparently put autism into like three. It's like autism one
onto something like that, like levels.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Oh wow, there's tears.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
I don't think it's tears. I think it's just instead
of high functioning low functioners, it's like you refer to
it in levels.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Wait, I'm trying to increase my level.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
We all got along pretty well initially, though she'd sometimes
stay up with him until one to three am, which
pissed me off because we wouldn't get to spend the
night together. We argued about it frequently. Their relationship became
unhealthily close. They'd fall asleep on Skype, but keep it
running or just leave it on without even talking.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
See, that's what my girlfriend and I do, and that's
what girlfriend and boyfriend should do.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
You know, but they're not girlfriend boyfriend Opie.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Yeah, yeah, I know. I know. This is this is wrong.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
This is wrong.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You should not fall asleep on discord. I will sleep
a kitten.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
They leave it on without talking. I do that with
a lot of my friends. I just overnight, not overnight.
But I'm not talking about the leave it on while sleeping.
I'm talking about the other one. Oh, he said, of
just leaving it on without even talking, I do that
with a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Wait, Dakota, do you based on your girl overnight? No? Okay,
because I actually no.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
We did that one time and we both asleep.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Dude. I have a hack, and it's getting a tripod. Dude.
It has made my life so much easier.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I can't fall asleep on FaceTime.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Wait is fall asleep tripod? Hold on?
Speaker 3 (02:58):
That just caught up to me.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
You have a tripod for you know the thing that
face times? Yeah, you know the thing that I use
whatever I'm like face like calling Eddie or something. I
have to show him something in the computer.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Despite this, she and I were still happy together wait
wait wait wait, doing activities and maintaining our connection. Six
months ago, she graduated while I still had a full
semester left. During my final semester, I was swamped with
a capstone project and three other CS classes. She felt
lonely at home without a job, and her identity as
a student was gone. Asher also lives at home doing nothing,
(03:32):
no job, no education, just living in his parents' garage. Mmm,
and Lou says, as per the DSM five ASD support
needs are categorized in three levels. Yeah, okay, so I
was right.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
So what I'm getting here is a lack of greater
purpose with two people, so they found each other.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Mmm.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
So if you don't have a job, kind of have
a lack of purpose within how do I contribute back?
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yeah? I mean a lot of my friends are who
are you know, graduated This is kind of their first
year as little baby adults like have had a lot
of trouble figuring out how to manage that transition where
they want to live. A lot of them either live
with their parents or are still living, you know, near
our college and it's a yeah, it's a tricky transition period,
(04:18):
so I understand what she's feeling. The rate at which
they talked increased dramatically. I was distracted by my coursework
and didn't realize what was happening. After I graduated two
months ago, I finally understood the situation and gave her
an ultimatum, him or me. She convinced me the compromise
unlimited contact instead, but that didn't actually happen. They seem
(04:41):
to need daily contact constantly on Skype or aim. Earlier
this month, Asher came to stay with us for two weeks.
I had mixed feelings, but wanted to make her happy,
even though it meant a twenty hour round trip to
pick him up. I thought to myself beforehand that I'd
regret it, and I was right.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Dude, he's trying to boing your girl.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Wait as sure the guy that is trying to take
your girl is staying with you. That was the compromise.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Oh also, their twenty hour round trip. That's that's the
cherry on top right there. So even if you kick
him out, guess what, you still.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Have to travel twenty hours. Why did you all do this?
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Why?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Why?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
That's a forty hour work week.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
That's crazy to pick up the guy that your girlfriend's cheating.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
With because a round truck is picking him up and
coming back. Yeah, boom boom ten hours. Dude.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
He's been nice and generally fun, but how they interact
disturbs me. They both sat in the back of the
car together while I drove. They made you uber them.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
My gosh, what is this?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Oh pee? At a certain point you gotta put your
foot down.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Is this the non confrontational, oh whatever you say kind
of guy?
Speaker 3 (05:57):
The other day, I was with one of my best friends.
It was me and my other friend were in the
back of the car and uh, the friend who was
in the upfront seat left and I went, thanks, hooper driver.
She said, no, not happening. Get in the front. So
you could have just done that op Yeah, making me
feel like a dang chaperone. When I asked her to
sit up front with me, she refused. They were laying
(06:20):
on each other with legs crossing over. Dude, oh pee.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I was this guy once where whatever my girlfriend wanted
I did, but I would never let it get this far.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
When they sit together, he touches her face and head
and grabbing it sometimes and she doesn't seem bothered. He
lays on her and sits very close, more than friends
would do. She reciprocates by laying on him, touching his feet,
laying with his big toe ros ew and leaning toward him,
even when I'm sitting right next to her. One time,
he was laying with his head touching her leg while
(06:52):
we watched TV ew Riley showing me his big toe.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
I thought we were friends, grows, grows, I thought we
were frad.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
No, get it out. She's been staying up extremely late
with them until five am one night, one am the
previous night, when we normally go to bed by midnight. Okay,
so at least emotionally okay?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Was this guy? Yeah, seems like he's cool with all this.
I would request that my girlfriend do one thing. Yeah,
yassidy belt. Hey, so, but.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
They're emotionally cheating.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
I'm okay with you emotionally cheating on me apparently, but
physically I'm not. Would you mind wearing this and if
you do take it off? I don't think I can
continue this.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
I think I would also get the emotional cheating chastity belt,
which is just a the bottomy like just straight up
turn my brain into mush and I don't care anymore.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Yeah, emotions.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
These people would never see you or hear from me again. Yeah,
I saw this behave if you're happening, I would, dude,
immediately become a feeling and live in the wood.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
To imagine driving ten hours there picking up the guy
and you have to drive another ten.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Hours playing with his big toe.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
No, I would be like, get out.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
I would be like, you can walk, you can use
that walk.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Fifteen minutes into the trip, Okay, you got to get out.
Here's a restaurant.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
I need to know if I'm being crazy or if
these behaviors are something I should worry about. And there
is an update? Oh pee, why are you worrying about them?
So little brother? You gotta worry about the way more.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
You let this go on too long. You shouldn't even
let him sleep over at night.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
To get Yeah, I shouldn't have gone to pick him
up twenty hours to pick up the guy that's cheating
with your girlfriend is wild? Move brother, wild dude.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Imagine these Reddit comments right after he posted it.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Oh, the comments are like you need to wake the fox,
wake the girl out, Like what are you doing I
was like the top comments, It's like, can you imagine
driving twenty hours to pick this guy up now and
then do nothing about it?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
No, I certainly cannot, But there is an update. After
posting this, around midnight, I waited for comments that gave
me confidence to address the situation. They would probably mean comments.
I went to bed and asked my SO to stay
with me, saying I needed to tell her something. She
said she'd be back in a bed. I stayed up
all night waiting for her until I fell asleep at
(09:29):
five am. When I got up to pee, I saw
him on a laptop with her sleeping on the couch
next to him. I woke up again later and found
he was finally in the guest room, while she was
still on the couch. I gently woke her and we
went to bed together. At two pm, I woke her
up for the conversation we should have had days ago.
After discussing the inappropriate behavior, which she agreed was problematic,
(09:51):
I told her I was thinking about punting him out
real quick.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
He woke her up at two pm.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
Yeah, he let her sleep. After seeing her sleep with
the other guy. He went to bed. Sorry, okay, just
to understand that again, I'm gonna condense that he stayed
up all night, presumably she was in the other room. Sure,
he stayed up all night waiting for her to come back,
falls asleep at five am, wakes up, sees her sleeping
(10:19):
with this guy, lets it lie, comes back out, sees
she's still sleeping there. They go back to bed, still
doesn't bring it up, and then at two pm finally
has the conversation, Wow.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
This is what happens when you don't have a purpose,
You just and she's attaching herself to this other guy
and they're just kind of, you know, together, wondrously walking
around the earth doing whatever. Yeah, she thinks it's fine, Like,
so why was when people get lost crazy?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
She didn't like this idea, but as we argued about it,
I decided I was going to do it. Once he
woke up as I was getting dressed. That's when she
told me they kissed last night. Of course they did.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
And you can kiss my ars goodbye.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
See, they were literally sleeping together, slightly crying. I immediately
went to the guest room, banged on the door and
punted it open. He was sleeping on an air mattress
below me. I should have punted his effing face and
thrown him out violently instead, knowing only about the kiss.
Is there more that you now know about? I angrily
but calmly told him to get the f out. He
(11:28):
instantly woke up and nearly fell off the bed with
fear in his eyes. I repeatedly told him I wasn't
going to hit him, which I now regret. I told
him to use the bathroom quickly and pack his crap.
While he was in the bathroom, I gathered his belongings
in the living room so he could pack faster. When
I felt he was taking too long, I banged on
the door, saying, if you don't come out soon, I'm
(11:49):
gonna have to come in there and get you out.
He came out and packed up. When he was almost done,
my s so started pleading for me not to punt
him out. I immediately interrupted, shut the f u I
can get really mean, real fast. Then I was out
the door with him.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but the speech.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Why is it happening now?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
It's like, clearly, op, he is capable of a lot
of you know, aggression and confrontation. Why is it? Why
is it now coming out.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Also, the way he's going about it, I'm like, not great.
I can get really mean real fast.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Yeah, let's just kick him out or you leave, you
break up with them.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
I feel this is my personal opinion in these moments,
whenever you're angry, the quieter you are, the bore deadly,
you can make the situation. Yeah, it's like get out,
ooh oo.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Made you made yourself scared. Yeah, then I was out
the door with him. I should mention that I always
made sick jokes with this guy nobody else, and he
didn't like it either, But I do it anyway. For example,
the day before I printed out a shopping with but
also included pictures of a mask, rope, knife, and duct tape.
When he saw it while shopping, I told him those
(13:02):
were things I needed for our hiking trip in the woods.
He found it awkward and disturbing, while I laughed. I
don't like you. I don't think.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I think everyone in this situation sucks. Here needs new
friend groups and new social circles.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
What do you mean you make sick jokes with just
this guy?
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Who are you that right there? That joke makes me
feel like your subconscious knows what's happening. Yeah, but you're
not like accepting it, and your suconsciounce is like, I
want to take this guy out of the middle of
the woods.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Yeah, weird. Two days before punting him out, I'd gotten
very wasted. Starting at lunch, I played GTA online, flying
planes into buildings while crying and listening to that song
on repeat for hours.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Dude, this is going downhill so fast.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
I also wrote love messages to my esso and notepads
during bathroom breaks. I never do crap like that, but
I was so disturbed by the situation that I hit
in myself and inadvertently pushed my ESSO away. Days later,
I found out he told my esso I was unstable
during that time. That's true. You are very clearly unstable.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
I would agree with him on that.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
A lot of things that are unsettling about this story, so.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
That combination works great. When I was punting him out,
he thought I was unstable and possibly dangerous. You see
him both. It seems like you are both unstable and
possibly dangerous.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Nah, it's just the fun little game.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
He's a ruse.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
He's just playing five dimensional chessh.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
My calm anger must have freaked him out completely. I
told him i'd drop him at a hotel. He was
going to sit and back, but I made him sit
up front. I wanted him as uncomfortable as possible. While driving,
I thought about taking him to the woods as a joke.
I live in a rural area, so that wouldn't have
been that hard this time. The sick joke was meant
to scare him, but my desire to get him away
(14:58):
from me overrode my desire or to scare him. I
took him straight to a hotel. As I parked, I
told him, don't try to contact my SHO unless she
contacts you. Because of free will and all.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
You did not do that.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I'm sorry you didn't do that.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Bro did not say that.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
More importantly, I drove back to my s O, who
was taking a shower. When I got back, I opened
the bathroom door as she was drying off. I immediately asked
if anything else happened besides the kiss. She didn't answer
right away. I repeatedly asked, becoming more agitated as she
stayed silent, thinking the worst. Then she told me that
(15:35):
other stuff had happened too, and that.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Can you can you be very creative with how you
say it because our podcast listeners.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Then she told me went to third base, that he
he did some typing practice, he.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Did some head shoulders food and uh.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Oh wow.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I immediately broke down, crying and broke her cell phone
to prevent them from contacting each other right away. Dude,
you're such an idiot you broke her cell phone. Stop it.
You are unstable, dude, it's weird. She needs to get
out of there. Like, obviously she's the a hole for
cheating on you, but she needs to get out of
there because she's not safe.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
She probably didn't feel like she could get out of there.
That's why she's been doing this with this other guy.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
I mean, like, you are very clearly unstable, Opie. In
the next few days are a blur of crying, sleeping,
and randomly driving around. It's been a rough week, though
we're both feeling better now. What we've talked extensively that
what happened, leaving nothing as an elephant in the room. No,
you've always been truthful with each other and discussed everything. Huh.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
This person needs to be your insignificant other, an insignificant stranger.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Not only do you need to break up with her,
for her cheating on you. She needs to break up
with you because you're acting crazy. There's a little bit
left to the story, but it sounds like they're staying
together and that's insane. Well, you know why they love
each other.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
They've been together since fourteen. This is all they ever know.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Apparently, Apparently they don't know how a relationship and properly.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
The biggest thing that I'm seeing here is how they
are super codependent on one another, and they don't. I don't
think they realize that one breaking up to an option
and that two you can go out and do things.
Because we can clearly see here with a girlfriend one,
she has a lack of greater purpose. She doesn't really
seem to have that many like social.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Circles, doesn't seem like she has a lot of friends.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah. And and the person she did make a friend of,
she's had to convince her boyfriend to become this friend.
This guy had other intentions. He's kind of also in
the same boat. Yeah, And of course they make a
dependent relationship there. And this isn't good. This isn't good
for anyone.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
All bad, all bad across the board.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Wow, this is crazy, break up, break up now, hopefully
you bought a new phone and got her some flowers. Yeah,
I don't know. I don't even know that hell.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Broke hurt phone. That's insane. We love each other the
same way we did before we realized situational factors played
a role. What situational factors? That you saw that they
were cheating on you and did nothing and then went crazy,
and that she cheated on you, those are the situational factors.
She cheated on you, though she still takes full responsibility.
(18:18):
I thought Asher was my friend, but he completely disrespected
me and did one of the worst things possible. I
will never talk to him again, and neither will my ESSO.
I doubt that. If I ever see him, I plan
to punt him in the face. If my ESO ever
talks to him again, I will leave her. Leave her now. Yeah, no,
you won't, bro You didn't even leave her now. She
(18:40):
cheated on you physically and emotionally going to contact him.
The only reason I've forgiven her for doing the worst
thing she could do to me is because of how
much I love her. Yikes, she's my soulmate, and I
understand the situational factors, and that she didn't fully understand
what was happening.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Didn't fully understand what was happening. Oh, it's just typing practice.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
What do you mean she didn't understand what was happening.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Stayed up all night, she was playing with the big.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Seem like she understood when she was talking to him
all night, seemed like she understood when she went twenty
hours to go pick him up.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
So she could play with his big toe in the
back seat.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
And certainly seemed like she understood when she hooked up
with them.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Boom boom boom. It's the really, the most disturbing thing
to me is definitely what ope he's doing here. It's
a big toe. It's a big toe thing.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
For me in the back seat.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
That's weird. That's different.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Even I didn't part denial, part weird crap going on.
I do blame her and hold her accountable. She now
needs to earn my trust again, especially regarding online communication
with others.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Oh, now it's even worse because now you're gonna see
and look over everything she does online.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Yikes, he's gonna be so controlling. Like again, he broke
her phone and did all of this crazy stuff. After
finding that out, there's no way that he's not gonna
be look it over her shoulder at everything.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
She needs to earn my trust again? Hikes, this is
Is that a sentence you can ask someone, Hey, you
need to earn my trust again? Can you say that
to someone?
Speaker 3 (20:09):
I think you can. But there are situations where it
becomes very controlling. But that's the end of that story, folks.
And we've got another one coming right up.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
My girlfriend's D and D role play with another guy
continued outside of the game.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
Ooh, they got a little bit into.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
Their characters and a little bit into each other.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
A bit of context. My female twenty three girlfriend, female
twenty one of eight years, has been with her D
and D group for let's say two years or so.
In every campaign they had, she's never established a romantic
relationship with any of the other players characters. Neither does
the DM, giving her roots to have any romantic relationships
(20:49):
strictly platonic. By the way, this comes from karasou Oa.
And if you want to speak your own stories, what
are the r slash okay story telling subreddit? I'm Riley,
I'm Sophia, I'm key on no, he says this new campaign. However,
I found out that one of the new players that
will hide with the name Josh Mel twenty one. I've
(21:10):
pitched an idea of his character and my girlfriend's character
falling in a loving relationship. He pitched it, Yeah, Is
that okay?
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Personally? If he's pitching it as them falling in love,
that is a little weird to me because you don't
usually plan that.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
It's usually a brand new character, like a it seems
like a new.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Normally, what I would let's say I were pitching this,
it would be like we have a relationship or we
had a relationship and that is our character background, like
we're divorced or whatever. It wouldn't be like I want
to fall in love because that's an improv quo quote.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
My Archer character human Archer needs a key in your queen,
and I pitched the idea that I have to sleep
with the queen in order to you is that weird?
Speaker 3 (21:56):
If not? If it were in game?
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Now now real quick, what if my Archer care needs
to sleep with the little Grimlin guy and it's Keon's character,
and I pitched that I have to sleep with But.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
That would be in game. You would be saying, like
during the game, you'd be like I want to roll
to do this, or like, oh, this is my plan.
You wouldn't do that when you were creating characters.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Even if your character is the Queen and his is
the Gremlin. If it's in game, it doesn't matter. But
if I'm like, mine should hook up with your character,
that's weird. Yeah I would say mine should hook up
with Keon's character. Is that weird?
Speaker 3 (22:23):
But no, I'm just saying.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
I'm just if it's like male the male, if that's weird.
If it's male the female outside of the game, it's
still weird birthways.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
I'm not even seeing it as like, oh, it's a
weird thing, male or female. I'm just saying it doesn't
make sense game mechanic to pre plan relationship because it's not.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Improv Can we get a poll real quick?
Speaker 3 (22:45):
But I think that is weird for him to say.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yeah, cheating or na real quick. At first I was confused,
but then went with it, considering as an RPG and
doesn't really translate into real life. My girlfriend is also
an artist, so she creates arts works for other players,
which I find absolutely great for her since she gets
(23:07):
to exercise her skills and such, so naturally in her instinct.
She will draw her character and Josh's character in romantic
comments that illustrates as to what is happening to the
campaign and to show me, hey, look it's my and
Josh's character and would explain that this was what was
currently happening in the campaign. As usual. I find her
(23:30):
works awesome and I get interested with the story, so
I tell her to keep me updated. Every now and then,
she keeps giving me updates about the romantic progression of
her and Josh's character, and there were times where I
felt awkward about it, but I didn't press her for it.
She showed me a conversation of her and Josh from
her phone that was talking about the campaign and their
(23:53):
characters love for one another and all that that it
came to the point of me feeling weird about it.
This is also whenever coworkers have a this is my
work wife m M that kind of vibe.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
It is a little bit different, but again because it
was premeditated, I think it is.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
A little weird, Like, can you I imagine He's like,
I can't wait to go see my girlfriend today at
D and D.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Like I think if they were coming, they were like, oh,
my God, and like this character we had like my character,
Like we realized this whole thing, and it was coming
from purely a storytelling thing. But again, I think because
he was like, I want my character to be in
love with your character.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
And that's the only story.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Yeah, that's the only story. It's like, what that's.
Speaker 4 (24:35):
My character's background is my character falls in love with
your character.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
It doesn't even make sense to plan that.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
I know this might be a bad move that I made,
but I had a hunch that something else was going on.
This is all she could talk about was her and
Josh and their characters. I took a peek at their
conversation from her phone. I know privacy and all, but
we both don't necessarily mind if we look into each
other's phones as we do it all the time went away,
(25:00):
I just got weirded out even more. I saw chats
and texts of them, both with romantic undertones and even
spicy related ones, as if they were both role playing,
as if their characters even outside of the game.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Weird, weird, weird. Why are you role playing as your
characters outside of the game in a romantic context?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
That's weird, Sophia, How else am I supposed to get.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Better in prova or in D and D.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
D one that takes time and money. Why can't I
just text the person I'm already role playing with and.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Just role playing with them. I think it's totally fine
to have people have role playing groups all the time.
I think, do you have a one on one role
playing group where you're having a romantic relationship with someone?
Is weird?
Speaker 2 (25:46):
For example, Josh referring to my partner as her partner's
name and vice versa, and my blood instantly boiled in
my disbelief. When she woke up. I immediately confronted her
about it, and she was just like, it's D and D.
We roll play.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
That's such a cop out. No, And you guys know me,
like I have the like we read other stories where
I've been like, no, this is just D and D.
That's role playing. They're improvising. This is not that. There's
a huge difference.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
If I was weird, I wouldn't done what OPI was doing. Yeah,
I would have gone to like could I see a
session or could I joined in a session as like
a one off character or just like an NPC.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
And like, I get that, but it's necessary for them
to do all that even outside of the campaign. No,
maybe I'm just overthinking it. What do you guys think
we have some comments?
Speaker 3 (26:39):
You know, what is normal outside of campaign? Oh my god,
Like Mike, like, that was really cool thing that your
character did. That's crazy, Like that was really interesting storyline.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Oh, it'd be interesting if you had this potion. I've
ever thought of this potion. We just could do this.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Wait, okay, I know we have a battle coming up.
Do you think that if we like strategize.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
Like what's our what's our tactics here?
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Yeah, that's normal. Not Oh, it'd be crazy if like
the next time our people have made like she like
does her weird thing with her thing and then her
crazy ponytail does this with my butt and then ye yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
I really wish you were on my dn D session
because it sounded exactly like that. You think I'm kidding.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
This makes me think, does she not feel threatened by
Josh at first because she's like, oh, my partner is lesbian? Well,
we don't know, she could be bye, but like she's
attracted to me. I'm not threatened by Josh because I
know she's attracted to me. But what I'm trying to
say is she's in a relationship with OP. She's like, Oh,
I'm not threatened, it's just Josh whate. That's probably another
(27:36):
thing happening here, potentially so coming number one. It's weird
that the DM would even allow this. This is a
really common problem with an easy rule workaround no relationships
between PC characters, simple enough. But yeah, it's super weird
and I would be sketched out too, especially because they
are talking it oh oge out of game. I considered
(27:59):
this emotional cheating in my opinion, not really one for ultimatums,
but I'd pretty much let my significant other know it's
me or them continue to fantasy role play relationship or
have a real one with me your choice. Ope, says
the DM actually told them basically, Hey, this is a
new route for us to try and drama for the
(28:19):
entire team and the storyline, so let's try it out.
By says, Oh, so the DM is enabling it. Gotcha?
Why does this feel premeditated?
Speaker 3 (28:28):
Because it was premeditated. He asked to have this relationship
before the campaign started.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Does this new guy like your girlfriend? And got the
DM to play along with them so he can re
enact his fantasy with her under the guise of role play.
Super creepy ope, he says, honestly, I have no idea
if he does or not. Plus even if we ask
him about it, he'll just downright deny it. I find
it also weird that my girlfriend has established that she's
(28:57):
a sapphig and hates anything has to do romantically with men,
but role plays different. I guess you can say, but
her character might be straight, but it feels off for me.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
No, okay, okay, Well that goes to your point of
the girlfriend being like, oh, it's not a problem because
I'm not interested in men. Again, I do believe there's
something fishy going on here, But in the sense of
like D and D, I think it's pretty common for
people to play very different characters to themselves, because again,
it is a character. Like I've played characters that are
men in D and D, which is just like totally
(29:33):
different from like obviously me. I think the issue here
is that they're taking this outside of game and premeditating it,
and I think.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
That's strange comming too. Your reaction is valid, as with
anything that comes to fantasy. The problem lies when it
started to affect real life.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
Agreed.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
The same happens more often than not when work, school, church,
or whatever. Friends start doing this outside of the place
of meeting and without their partner or significant other. Always
start intentionally, and it is very easy to view it
as just friends when on the inside, so they can't
see when boundaries are being crossed and emotional cheating is started.
(30:11):
If you two have a solid relationship, then definitely have
a talk with her about these things and that whole campaigning.
You are totally cool with it since it's in the game,
others are participating and so on. It's the taking it
to the real world that has you concerned, because it
is very easy to step into problem territory without realizing it.
(30:32):
It is very possible that her gamemate could have a
thing for her, so, whether intentional or not, it's encouraging
and inappropriate via the game without knowing if she's super
naive and not picking up on it, or if she's
just openly enjoying the flattery, or even if she is
interested in him as well and utilizing this in a
(30:54):
way to see what happens. Nobody but her and you
can say talk to and discuss what's happening and how
it is causing you her in concern. Hopefully she will
understand and cut the communication to just game night, or
at least cut the role playing communication to that. If
she doesn't, then the next cushion would have to be
about the relationship between you both and whether or not
(31:18):
she wants to continue it.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
I think that's a great point. I think another way
to look at it is like when I'm doing a
play that has like intimacy choreography in it, Like usually
if you're doing like a you know, a play that
has good safety measures around it and stuff, Yeah, wouldn't
go tell your actors to go practice the kiss at home.
You would do that with a choreographer and with the
(31:41):
director there and be like, okay, this is these are
the beats. Okay, now this is the part where we kiss,
And a lot of times you don't even do that
kiss until much later. And so in this sense, you
wouldn't be role playing at home together alone and not
in the actual campaign. Yeah, I think this is weird.
Whether or not she's into him, he's.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Her Oh absolutely. If I'm a game night and I'm
entertaining this kind of conversation, yeah, I said a game
I'm definitely into this person. Come on, so update John here.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
We're gonna get back to this juicy story, but a
quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
I've opened this up to my girlfriend once more after
taking a few hours to cool off and think what
my next actions are. Her reasoning was basically, it's only
role playing for me, since that's what we players do
and we role play in general. Am I reply to
that was I know it's role playing, and I know
(32:36):
that's what you do with D and D, but what
you and Josh are doing is taking it to another
level by being private and even talking in a spicy
related manner. I've told her what she did started to
hurt me in an emotional way, and I somewhat felt
betrayed that she would even have the thought of doing it.
(32:56):
It came to the point where tears were being brought
out because I couldn't control my emotions and frustrations anymore.
She gave me a hug and apologized for her actions
and told me, I didn't know that this was going
to affect you this much. It really was just a
game for me. I enjoyed it too much that I
started neglecting what you're feeling and Honestly, at that point,
(33:19):
all I could do was cry. He then sat me
up next to her laptop station and pulled up the
conversation with her DM and told him to erase every
part of the story that had anything to do with
the love story between her character and Josh's. The DM's confusion,
he said, but I already finished the story for the campaign,
so now I'll have to redo it again. After that,
(33:41):
she told me she was going to chat with Josh.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
I don't understand why the player character relationship has so
much to do with the story of the campaign.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
MMMM week campaign, because a lot of movies and stuff
usually rely on a relationship and maybe the campaign's.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
A week and so in other campaigns, I'm basing this
off of a lot of like the D twenty campaigns
I've seen, there's a lot of romantic relationships in those stories.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
And tell them about the situation and that it was
already too much. I was watching by her side as
she did it, telling Josh that it was wrong and
she saw the wrong in it now and that she
was going to walk away from this role play romance.
After a few minutes later, Josh replied and basically said, uh, Okay,
can I keep all the art though we have a
(34:24):
little bit more. What do you think the art is now?
Speaker 3 (34:27):
I'm like, well, well, I don't want that art. You
just want it because it's cool art and it's good,
well for other reasons suspicious.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
After that, she decided to take a break from interacting
with their D and D friends and decided to hang
out with me the rest of the day. Though. After
the hangout, me resting on her arm while watching TV,
she decided to check her phone for updates in their
group chat and showed me the conversation of Josh and
the others still going at the topic of his character
and her character being together and all the art and whatnot,
(34:56):
as if he's very still into it. She asked me
if she should intervene with her friends now. I just
gave her a look. She nodded, and texting them to
stop with the issue. I don't know if this was
the right move for me to make, since people in
the comments told me it's basically cheating, but for now
I'm relieved it ended. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
I guess my final comments on this is going back
to the confusion about this DM setup, because when you
have two non player characters, the DM has almost complete
control over their relationship. Let's say they're in a romantic relationship.
If you have a non player character and a player
a PC better character who are in a relationship, the
DM has control over what that not NPC does, okay,
(35:39):
but not over what the player does, okay. And when
you have two player characters in a romantic relationship, the
DM has no control. I don't understand why. He was like, well,
I have to change my entire storyline. You can't plan
anything that your players do. I feel like the DM
was in on it.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Bro, Bro, I'm kind of into this chicken.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
Yeah. It's like when the teacher. It's like the teacher
puts two kids who have a crush.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
I feel like that. Again, the DM was enabling it.
But the DEM was like, okay, guys, let's do something different.
They're like, why don't we just base this off like
just a romantic relationship.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
You're like that.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
Doesn't it make sense?
Speaker 4 (36:11):
Why?
Speaker 3 (36:12):
But that's the end of that story. Well, we got
another story book. I'm co parenting with my boyfriend's X
and it's a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
I was like, you need to wake up.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
I started dating my partner about a year ago. He
told me from the jump that he had kids and
actively co parented with his ex. I couldn't have the kids,
so the idea of being a bonus mom appealed to me.
By the way, this comes from Bag three sixty seven,
and if you want to smit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay, storytime, separate it. I'm Sophia,
I'm Riley, and.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Oh, my gosh, all the time.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
That is the third time she sent it today.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
No, no, I apolo josic human I see you as
a human. Anyways, let's do it again.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, Oh I have time, I'm ke
On and op says.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
I realized quickly, though, that their situation wasn't typical. On paper,
it's fifty to fifty, but in reality he has them
eighty twenty. She had moved too far away to get
the kids to school on time without them having to
wake up at the crack of dawn. She has a
job with a set in time, so it's the only
way they decided it could work. She does stuff with
(37:24):
their sports and its two weekends a month. About three
months into us dating, I had to go on a
date with her, essentially for her to feel me out.
It was their agreement. The whole thing was weird, but
she approved of me. So I got to meet the kids.
A few months later. I moved in a few months later,
you moved in. Girl. Also, just like, what is the
(37:45):
dad doing? I mean, personally, I feel like, if you
had kids in the picture, take a little bit longer,
you know, to introduce Yeah, yes, II one hundred percent.
Speaker 4 (37:56):
No.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
By most people's common timelines, it was fast. It was
a necessity thing that ended up working out better for
both of us. He's a disabled amputee veteran who has
problems cleaning around the house. The kids also got into
STEM programs across town from each other, so having someone
else to take one is essential now that school has started.
So you moved in so that you could help him
(38:18):
care for his kids.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
All right, you're very sweet. Seems like a very sweet
thing to do.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
It is a very sweet thing to do.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
I just also, you're giving a lot of yourself very quickly.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
Yes, honestly, they took to me really quickly, and I
to them. I couldn't imagine life without the three of them.
I know he's ring shopping so this is my fit.
Here are the issues. She claims to want a co
parent with all of us. She has a partner his
ex wife and them don't co parent well at all.
She wants better with me and my partner, or so
(38:48):
she says. She won't acknowledge me on social media. She
won't take my picks from events and tag my partner
and act like they are there together co parenting. I
eventually got tired of it and blocked her. He won't
accept her tags now unless they really were doing it
together and it's like a big day event. As far
as the schooling goes, I know full well classroom management
(39:09):
and grades is their area, not my place. But I
drew drop my bonus daughter off every morning. I will
be going to field trips and helping with projects for
both kids, homework if needed, that kind of stuff. But
anytime something comes up that it doesn't fall in her plans,
she claims we need to put her before me. Example,
meet the teacher. I could only go to the morning
(39:30):
session her the PM for our son, so me and
my partner went. I introduced myself to the teachers as
bonus mom said their mom would be at the afternoon
one after work, got the info we needed, even pre
shared it with her. Mmmmm, Well she got there and
said everyone thought I was the mom, so in the
future he needed to attend the events only with her.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Oh appearances, y'all.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
She can't even make a single school thing because her
job times won't allow it. She's a teacher as well,
and another district, so the chances of her stepping foot
at the school all year are slim. But we tried
everything to make sure everyone and was involved, and that
wasn't good enough. Fast forward to tonight. We were talking
about the school district scores for ours and the neighboring towns.
(40:16):
My twin is a teacher, so me, my twin, and
our older sister were talking about the scores. I mentioned
it to the ex wife and she thought I wanted
to move the kids districts. I said multiple times, I'd
never move them from the opportunities they have here.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Yeah, they seems like they got pretty awesome opportunity here.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Yeah, they go into a STEM school. Her response was, well,
it's the parent's choice, so there is no discussion. You
won't be moving, bro one, I'm a grown adult. Your
agreement says one hundred miles so if we want to move,
we can't. Two. There are four grown adults here and
all of us can talk things out. If we did move,
(40:54):
it would be to the higher rated district. She doesn't
like that it wasn't her idea. She's twenty percent involved
in this parenting agreement.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
I know she feels threatened by this. She feels threatened
by you. She wants to have influence on her kids' lives,
but she can't hot take. I don't think that this woman,
the ex wife, is the villain. I think her perspective
and everything is I had to move for a job,
I had a divorce. I want to keep up with
my kids, but I can't. Ye now, the only way
(41:26):
for me to voice or have any influence is to
disagree with my ex husband's new girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
I think that's absolutely true.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Like she hasn't done anything super a holy Yeah, there's
some comments that she's gonna makee better, but this is
the only way she feels like she has control in
the situation. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
I feel like she sees herself being replaced. Yeah, and
sees op, you know, taking a really big role in
her kids' lives, and a role that she's not able
to fill.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
And she wants to fill it. She just can't. Honestly,
ex wife, you got to have it out with op conversation. Hey,
it's sam og Host.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
We're gonnaet back to these delectable stories.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors to
help support the show.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
She told my partner, I'm just playing mom and she's
the mom.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Bro.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
I buy your kids groceries, cook them dinner, switched my
whole schedule so that they could get to school, something
you wouldn't or couldn't do. And I go to all
of their events. I don't parent them in the sense
of punishment or telling them what to do at school
or doing their doctor's appointments, but me and partner do
discuss all of those things. He values my input and
then makes the final call. We are a well oiled
(42:34):
machine right here.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
For example, if they had that conversation, Hey, I cook,
I pay for the groceries, the x Y could be
that's a good point. Maybe I should help out in
those ways. Maybe I should help up with groceries. I'm
want to be involved in my kids' line. Yeah, and
put an effort of that. Because this is the husband
or the boyfriend he needs help around the house because
he can't do it all. Hope he's stepping into it.
(42:56):
You did x fIF have a conversation.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Yeah, So finally I said I can't do this and
blocked her in my phone too. Anytime I suggest stuff
she fights it anyways, parties, vacations, sports, you name it,
and she has to argue. So I said I can't
keep giving her my piece. That means he is to
go between us. So does that make me the A hole?
There are some comments and an update, but no, I
(43:20):
think that it is absolutely like in part you are
involved in this conversation because you are, you know, one
of the guardians of these kids. Now, however, this is
his ex wife and he needs to handle that and
he shouldn't be putting you between I mean, not that
he is, but you shouldn't have to be bearing the
brunt of these arguments with his ex wife.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Oh. Absolutely, yeah, common one, not the A hole.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
But I'm worried she will try to claim parental alienation
due to your behavior. I think their dad needs to
get a lawyer and consider going back to court to
hash out a proper custody agreement. On paper, it's fifty
to fifty, but you say reality is more like eighty twenty.
Already tells me they should have the custody agreement a
long time ago. The ones who will long term suffer
(44:04):
are to those children. If there are major changes, then
the custody agreement needs to be amended. Every single time
Opie says she used that term, I googled it. I
haven't met any of the requirements. Though we don't bash
her to the kids. We inform her of everything, sent
picks of the school documents we were given. Comment two says,
it sounds like bio mom doesn't want to interrupt her
(44:26):
life or schedule for the kids, so she mostly dumps
them on their dad, but then still expects to have
full control of what happened with the kids even when
they aren't with her. You're kind of being forced to
step up faster than a stepparent normally would because their
dad needs help and biomm isn't willing to make sacrifices
for her kids so that she can be there and
help out. That's not your fault, but you need to
(44:47):
be careful here. You are in the worst possible position
right now, no actual rights, but still given a bunch
of responsibility. If anything goes wrong with the kids, you'll
get blamed and everyone will call you the a hole
because they are aren't yours and what right you have,
et cetera, while totally ignoring that you are one of
the only people putting the kids first. I think the
(45:08):
move here is for you to step way back on
interacting with biomm I think the reason she wants you
so involved is she sees you as another person that
she can make take care of her kids for her
by ordering you around. Going forward, all communications should be
between her and their dad. You just keep doing all
the great things you do for the kids, but now
it will be with their dad's permission, and bio mom
(45:30):
won't be your problem. He is an equal parent and
he is fully allowed to make parenting decisions without you
having to deal with the biomom directly. Comment three says
I don't agree with the first, saying you're overstepping. You're
doing what your boyfriend asks you. Don't try to punish
or anything. It sounds like if you have a discipline issue,
you refer to dad and Dad handles it. At the
meet the teacher, you said, bonus, mom, not your fault.
(45:52):
The teacher misspoke when mom came. You're not letting them
break your boundaries, and your boyfriend in certain situations will
have to be less laid back though. Reply. Maybe he's
asking too much about pe, but there is a little
bit left to the story.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Only people that can intervene here, Yeah, or you and I,
And that's true. We sit down to dad, Yeah, sit down,
the ex wife? Yeah, suit down, OPI who would you call?
Like you have the buddy up with the one person?
Speaker 3 (46:17):
Who would?
Speaker 4 (46:18):
I feel like it could Ghostbusters?
Speaker 2 (46:21):
But okay, you get ex wife. Actually I want to
talk to the X wife.
Speaker 4 (46:24):
I don't want to talk to the ex wife.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
I want to talk to the ex wife. Who do
you call?
Speaker 4 (46:28):
I just want to talk to open talk to the
dad that oh, perfect, perfect, this is perfect.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
So I feel like we all Number one, we all
have a one on one session write down everything.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
Number two, we enact as their lawyers, so we speak
to one to know as mediators, not legally binding on
that too bad.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
You are lawyer, Well we're not.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
It's like a lawyer, but we're not lawyers. But we
all like media and we talk around it and we
like X wife would be like geez doing this and this, this,
and I'd be like, it feels like my client is
as if op you were taking her spot as a mom.
And then what about your client?
Speaker 4 (47:04):
My client is just the chill guy, so she doesn't
deserve any of this.
Speaker 3 (47:09):
Yeah, perfect, and then we figure it out.
Speaker 4 (47:12):
Your honor, she said, leave me alone.
Speaker 3 (47:15):
Yeah, you don't understand. But I think at the end
of the day, I think those comments are right. Your
partner should be taking more of the kind of mediation
role between all of the speaking should be happening between
him and his ex wife and not really you know,
you should have to be put in the middle of it.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
Yes, exactly.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
But there is an update, folks. Update. She messaged him
that she wanted to talk to me, that it had
to be in person. She wanted to set the record
straight so that I could see her point of view
and believe her over my partner. We found out yesterday, oh,
that she's been spreading lies per year that heesayed her.
If y'all knew him, you would know that he could
(47:54):
never she dies ever saying it. But it's a thing
now I denied her access to me. She wants a
healthy co parenting relationship, but is saying this. When she persisted,
I listed out five things in detail that she was
doing to make this not a good situation for all
of us. Her response was see me in person or
I'm not talking. Nope, I like my text evidence and
(48:17):
I'm not listening to her for an hour. I reblocked
her after I sent it and told him it's them too.
Now I'll support him and the kids, but see zero
reasons to talk to her. And that is the end
of that story. Folks, smart, yeah, I think you keep
a text, keep your proof, yeah, and don't let her
lie about things.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
Get receipts, yeah, get them receipts early.
Speaker 3 (48:41):
But that is the end of that story and the
end of this episode. So if you love us, make
sure to subscribe.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
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