My girlfriend DEMANDS I remove a family photo before she moves in… but she won’t give me a good reason! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2084 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:05):
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
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get into the episode.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
My girlfriend demands I remove a family photo before she
moves in, but she won't give me a good reason.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
Why do we have a problem with grandma? Why can't
she be in the family photo?

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Maybe she just doesn't like the way they look. I
don't know, let's figure it out. Well, maybe this is
like I just say, that photo so ugly. I will
not live in the house with this hugging photo. That
is not you. That is not you. I'm not allowing that.
I twenty six male, think this is completely ridiculous, but
maybe I'm actually wrong. So here it goes. I've been
with my girlfriend twenty six female for five years, but

(00:50):
we've known each other since we were fifteen. I'm fortunate
to have my own place, and we've discussed for a
while her moving in with me, as she's been staying
in the house or often by the way. This comes
from user odd Locksmith ninety five hundred on the r
slash okay storytime subreddit. This wasn't a problem until she
was about to move in. I have a few photos

(01:11):
in the house of me with members of my family.
The problem is with a specific photo of me with
my brother and father. She told me to remove the
photo before she moved in to accommodate her. I asked
her why and she answered that it's quote unquote weird.
But to me, there's nothing weird about the photo. She's
the one making it weird.

Speaker 3 (01:31):
Okay, I gotta see this photo.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
Oh, I thought you were gonna drop a conspiracy.

Speaker 3 (01:35):
My conspiracy is they had got a weird pose going on,
and I frog posey. Yeah, yeah, who knows, because like
some photos can be like a little like something's off.
But it's just a picture of him and.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
His dad or and his brother when they were young.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
Yeah, because she could have had past entanglements with either
one of those people in those photos, so that might
be possibility as well, or.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
As it's Britney Beach just said she did the dad
or brother exactly.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
That's mykenspoos the theory. But in the chat right now.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
I don't know the only thing weird about the photos
maybe is that all of them are when I was
a child, but none of them are inappropriate or have
something you could take the wrong way. She had no
other argument than that, and in the end I refused
and she said she wouldn't move in, and I was
okay with that. Great are you though, dude? I think

(02:28):
you both got you guys are both having weird priorities
right now over this picture.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
I don't want you to move in anyways.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
This has been a topic of discussion for the past
few days. Some of our friends and even my father
said that I should remove the photo to make her
feel welcome. But I just find that again ridiculous at it.
I won't post the photo because I don't feel comfortable,
but I will describe it as much as possible. Case
so we here's this.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
Oh my god, I just post the photo and blink
out the eyes.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Now it's a family photo. He's keeping it close to
the vest.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
If you feel so uncomfortable posting it, then maybe it
is a weird photo.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
Where about the find out?

Speaker 3 (03:01):
Well, if they find my Facebook or whatever my Instagram,
my family is there.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
So here's a description of the photo, all right. The
photo was taken when my brother was six and I
was seven. In the middle is my father with a
grin from ear to ear, his eyes closed and his
arms extended to the side. To the left is my
brother buzz Cut, standing straight with his arms at the
side like a soldier in a serious face. To my

(03:24):
father's right is me long hair, standing like a boxer
from nineteen ten, with my chinup and a mean mugs,
all wearing a suit. Because it was taken at my
uncle's wedding, the photo was taken outside the place where
the event took place. There's nothing exceptional related to the place.
The only thing aside from us is the sun, the
blue sky, and a bunch of trees. I have no

(03:47):
idea why she has a problem with this, and also
why you can't just be like, all right, I'll put
the picture somewhere else. I guess if you don't like
this picture, I feel like there's a picture of that
hanging in my house somewhere. She has met my family.
She has always been respectful and friendly with them and
vice versa. There hasn't been any incidents or problems with
any of them. And I've asked her and she's denied it.

(04:08):
Her problem is with the photo. I described above. I
have other photos with my father and brother individually. I
do the same pose in various photos. I have one
doing the same pose with my paternal grandfather where we
were both wearing boxing gloves. He's the one who taught
me the pose. She has stayed in the house multiple days,
even weeks. She has things here. She never brought up

(04:30):
the issue. I'm all for compromising, but I need a
proper explanation other than it's weird. She is very fond
of it, and that's not a problem. She's like, I
can't see a photo of you when you were five
seven years old with long hair. That's weird. But that's
apparently not the case.

Speaker 3 (04:46):
We don't know.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
Yeah, we don't have a really, Oh, it's just weird.
I want the reason none of the photos stand out.
They're put on a small part of the wall in
the living room. With the others, including the ones that
I'm with her. They're not b big or i'd basically
be upholstering the entire wall. She had issues with her family,
but they solved it. But I don't rule out that

(05:07):
something happened, and she hasn't told me. I'm reading your replies,
but my apologies for not answering every comment. There's just
too many. We've talked this morning, and this has nothing
to do with me or my family, but hers. Okay,
the photos brought some feelings and she was feeling bad
for someone else and not for herself. It has to

(05:29):
do with one of her nephews. He is going through
the same situation as her when she was fifteen. No
abuse for those concerned, and she has been blocked about
what to do. You know what I can really respect
to like, clearly Op is keeping this stuff close to
It's like he's not really saying what the actual problems are.
He's trying to maintain as much privacy here as possible,
which I actually I kind of I respect that she

(05:51):
apologized for her behavior in the past days and for
taking it out on me instead of coming for help.
I'm going to see her once I get out of work,
so she can tell me about it and we can
find a way to stop her from going nuclear on
her family and we can help her nephew.

Speaker 3 (06:06):
So the photo reminded of something that the nephew is
going through that she also went through.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
I think the photo was like triggering some kind of
like trauma memory or potentially like it was bringing up
bad feelings because it made her, I guess, for some
reason remember something that also the nephew's going through. I
don't know, very mysterious. Before the update, I will clarify
some points. And also, please excuse my English, it's my
third language.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
I've heard that one yet.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
I looked at the photo for a solid thirty minutes,
and again, there's nothing remotely wrong. It wasn't taken at
the wedding, but at the reception, and still it wasn't
a religious wedding, and you can't tell there's a party
going on. Also, I said the size of the photo,
but I was just spitting nonsense. It's even smaller. Religion
was noted. We are not religious and we have no
incidents related to it. My father's pose was also pointed out.

(06:53):
I know, it's hard to imagine it. His arms are
not extended like a tee. They are extended in an
angle with his palms open, pointing at us like look
at them. I used to grin, but smile is better
synonyms in the end, but whatever, he says that in
previous photos with him, we just stand there and smile,
and he expected the same but we just came up
with that. It was the first. I was the first

(07:15):
to pose, and when my brother saw me, he didn't
know what to do and ended up standing still and serious.
He also says that our poses described perfectly how we
were in our childhood, my brother the goodye two shoes
and me the troublemaker. He was trying not to laugh
his butt off, and that's why he had closed his
eyes and a smile from ear to ear.

Speaker 4 (07:32):
This is just a silly photos just a silly photo?

Speaker 5 (07:35):
Was it?

Speaker 2 (07:35):
Like their uncle?

Speaker 3 (07:36):
I wouldn't know the girlfriend's point of view. I want
to know where she's coming up.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
Yeah, that's I think that's the valuable nothing here. I
think that's what we need.

Speaker 6 (07:43):
I think what oh he's trying to do is just
like make it more clear, like yeah, there's nothing wrong
with this photo, wrong with the fact.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
And that's what I'm scratching my head here. I'm like,
what why is she so well?

Speaker 7 (07:53):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
Sometimes you can see something and it's like it'll make
you think of something that like sucks to think about,
and he'll be like, I just don't want to have
to look at that. I think I think it's weird
of her being so secretive about you is a reason, then, yes,
because it's not about her, it's about the nephew, So
maybe she's being here.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
He is the nephew. My conspiracy theory is that the
nephew lost his own brother.

Speaker 4 (08:13):
Do you think she's trying to use the nephew as
like escape.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
You also said that a member of my family could
have slept with my girlfriend. We might be a little wild,
but we're not complete animals. Everyone in my family is
friendly and most importantly, very respectful to my girlfriend the
same way we are with my brother's wife, father's wife,
and uncle's wife, women who joined our family and who
also treat us the same way. Besides, Grandma would cut

(08:38):
her nuts off if we act inappropriately with any of
them or other women, we in any sense would break
someone's trust or would go lengths to split our already
small family. We would rather lose an arm. And there
are not incidents of this of any kind in my
girlfriend's family either. Many of you jumped to extremes. I
can't fault you given the amount of information I provided,

(08:59):
but I hope this update can clear things down.

Speaker 4 (09:04):
It's the third language. Their third language is their third language.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
Oh wait, okay, yes, okay, okay, yes they're black. Go bye.
Sorry sorry. My girlfriend had problems with her family when
she was fifteen. All of them, including all of her
extended family, are involved in the medical field and they
expect everyone to do the same. They were very supportive
of her until she decided to follow a different path.

(09:27):
They let her study what she wanted, but there was friction.
They spent her high school years in therapy fixing their relationship,
and they did, according to her. Now, her nephew, her
brother's son, also wants to pursue a different career. He
has been facing the same problems my girlfriend faced. He
called her because he knows that she does something completely

(09:48):
different and because the relationship with his father and even
with my girlfriend's parents change drastically. The call happened days
before she was about to move in with me, and
what caused her behavior. My girlfriend wanted to deal with
the situation before she moved in with me and by herself. Unfortunately,
she did it horribly. On the day of our fight.

(10:09):
She hasn't thought in anything other than going ballistic. She
was going to tell me about it and ask for help,
but she decided to pick a stupid fight to buy
time and deal with the situation. Oh wait, I don't
like how the tone of this just took a hard
shift from supportive to kind of bitter. Not only dimensioned photo,
but all of them brought bad feelings. Oh she just

(10:31):
selected the goofiest one. Ooh, she not only felt bad
for herself, but especially for her nephew. She doesn't have
a problem with the photos. She likes them or with
my family. It's the contrast. I hope this makes sense.
I think it doesn't.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
It does.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
She doesn't have a problem with the family, she doesn't
have a problem with the photos. It's just when she
sees photos of a happy family, it makes her feel sad.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
It makes her feel sad, And I also think that's
the reason why she didn't move in. It's because she
feels sad when she sees she sees those family fixtures,
and she's going to be moving in with the family,
thus making another family. She probably has like rejection from that,
and does it feel like she deserves to be loved.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
My family has always supported us no matter what, and
the photos show that, while with her family it seems
their support is still conditional. She thought her family knew
better at this point after what happened with her. In
our first chat after I made the post, she apologized
for her behavior and told me what I wrote above.
She explained that she felt overwhelmed and she broke down

(11:31):
when the thought that I might be breaking up with
her popped in her head, which was never implied by me,
which prompted her to book an emergency session with her
therapist Nice. She had the session before our talk. She
accepts and knows that everything could have been avoided if
she had told me what was happening. That's just really
quick pause. That is some of the best advice for

(11:52):
any relationship, whether it's a romantic one or one with
your parents or siblings or friends, If you just talk
openly about what's going on, you can save yourself so
many problems.

Speaker 3 (12:04):
And it's so funny that she mentions this because I
was reading a book and on how to like fix
like inner relationships and how to like work with them,
and the first one I read was like Rejection, and
I'm kind of reading through it, and this is like,
if you feel rejected, like if you were rejected by
your family, you're gonna reject.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
Others despite what this situation implies. She has never made
these types of demands and knows that I don't tolerate them,
and she completely regrets it. Our communication has always been good.
We have always been open with our needs, our problems,
and what we want in the future. Not for nothing,
we are moving together. We already had a long trial
thanks to the quarantine, and I understand her a little

(12:42):
because things have been going really well between us and
with her family. The situation with her nephew came out
of nowhere and shook her up a lot. She knows
that I'm still a bit upset that it took her
this long to come to her senses, and she keeps apologizing,
but she's taking the right steps to move forward, so
we're cool. I also talk to still do more in

(13:02):
depth about us, and we're in the same page. I'm
not going anywhere, and she's been more than explicit that
she isn't either. She suggested couple's therapy, and although I'm
not against it, if we communicate like before and now,
I think we'll be fine. But don't rule it out.
And by the way, I hope you never rule out

(13:23):
hearing stories just like this one on any of your
favorite podcast platforms because they are out there on Spotify,
on Apple podcasts, wherever you can listen, not watch. Yeah,
not Google podcasts because they don't exist anymore. You can
watch stories just like this one. All you gotta do
is search okay story time on any of your favorite platforms.

Speaker 3 (13:43):
Ooh. Ashley medigodpoint. She said she was in therapy already
with her family. It's them mishandling her nephew that started
up again.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
The nephew reached out to her and was like, Hey,
I know that you aren't a doctor or you're not
in the medical field. What do I do because this
is happening to me. So it like reawoke all of
this stuff. I guess that she'd gone through which you
know it can happen, and it's because she's already in therapy.

Speaker 3 (14:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's working through it.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
I like also being like, I mean, we might even
be good without a couple's therapy. It's like, if we
can just talk openly like we've been, we might not
even need to go, which I agree with, Like, if you,
if you can continue to talk it out the way
that you just did for now, we are going to
keep things as they are until the situation with her
family is resolved, whatever the outcome, which made her rush

(14:33):
to message her parents to set a meeting with them
next week. Lol. We are taking it easy and dealing
with one problem at a time. The photos are staying,
and she will bring hers once she moves in to
put them with them, like we agreed before. Oh so
it's gonna be like a little picture party and that's
the end. That's the end of that story. That is
great to chat. You all were right eight percent of you.

(14:54):
We're correct. Wait wait for a week apparently, because hey,
that's still waiting waiting?

Speaker 3 (15:01):
Is men still still waiting? My girlfriend is still friends
with past hookups and is bothering me?

Speaker 2 (15:13):
You could still talk, bro, I feel like interpreted dances silent,
All right, that's my interpretation.

Speaker 3 (15:18):
I twenty three male, and my girlfriend twenty two female,
have been together for about a year. We met on
tender and we went on a date soon after that.
Pretty much from the moment we saw each other, we
knew we were right for each other. In fact, our
first date ended up being twelve hours long because we
just didn't want to leave each other. By the way,
this comes from emergency Citron eighty three on the our

(15:39):
side Okay story tom subreddit. So we went on a
few more dates and then became exclusive very quickly, and
our relationship since has been incredible. We both absolutely see
a future with each other and are planning on staying
together as much as humanly possible. Now I know that
my girlfriend had a major who in the approximately six

(16:02):
months before we met. We haven't gone in depth. I
don't want to know, but we have discussed, and I've
heard mutterings from friends too. I think she hooked up
with six or seven pretty much random men during that time.
Who in six months, that's one that's one a month.

Speaker 2 (16:19):
Uh No, interpret of dance, you're still running, man, because
that's what she's doing. She's running through those men.

Speaker 3 (16:27):
I've done similar things too. I have no reason to
ever think that she ever hasn't been faithful to me
or hidden it from me or anyone else. She was
posting me on Instagram after like a month together. She
actually deleted her Snapchat when we started dating, and I
know for a fact she doesn't have dating apps anymore.
We agreed to just not talk about our spicy past

(16:50):
now that we're together. About two months ago she told
me that a guy she met on a vacation last
summer was moving into our city. She had asked her
if she if she wanted to show him around.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
She said yes.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
We both went and gave him a tour and got dinner.
She was honestly a really nice guy and a smart
and interesting too. I was a bit surprised that she
meant a twenty eight year old professionally randomly on a vacation,
but whatever. Since then, she had been getting lunch or
drinks or dinner maybe once a week with him when

(17:25):
I'm busy, and then go another day of the week.
Will usually go on a double date with him and
one of the many women he's involved with.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
Why does it sound like your girlfriend's dating this guy?
Why does it sound like that?

Speaker 5 (17:42):
You know?

Speaker 2 (17:42):
I don't know how my girlfriend met this hot, successful,
twenty eight year old professional on a vacation and is
now dating him.

Speaker 5 (17:50):
I was.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
I was totally fine with that and happy to have
more friends. But recently I was hanging out with my
girlfriend and her friend group and one of her friends
made a joke about the guy being very well a nude.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
That word is in down in dude.

Speaker 3 (18:07):
I kind of shrugged it off, but I was curious
and asked later and later asked my girlfriend if she
had slept with her friend. She laughed and said no,
she actually slept with him when she was on vacation
after they met on a dating app. I was kind
of floored that she hadn't told me that that's how
they met, but she said that I hadn't asked, and

(18:31):
that's why we agreed not to discuss our former conquests.
She told me that in fact, it was sleeping with
him that had made her decide to settle down. Was
it that bad or was it that good?

Speaker 2 (18:45):
And she's like, that's the best ill ever have. I'll
just settled down.

Speaker 3 (18:48):
I'll settle I'm done now. Because he's apparently a very
promiscuous man, she realized that for her, that kind of
promiscuity was cheapening all intimacy. She also told me that
after she realized how promiscuous he was, she was revolted
by him and wanted to be in a committed relationship,

(19:12):
but that she still did like him as a person.
I asked her if they'd ever been in contact at
all before he moved into our city, and she said
that occasionally they liked each other's Instagram stories, but that
they hadn't actually message each other other than that. But
that's still a body. If you like someone's Instagram.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
You might as well buy them a wedding ring. Facts,
what are you doing like people's Instagram stories that you're
not getting married too? That's literally making out with me.

Speaker 3 (19:42):
She could tell that for some reason, finding this out
upset me, and she told me that I could read
their messages if I wanted, and that she would also
stop hanging out with them one on one if it
bothered me. I completely trust her, though, so I said
no to both. Uh, I would say no to hanging
out one on one it once I learned that information,

(20:03):
he agrees with me.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
I hope you all interpreted exactly what that meant.

Speaker 3 (20:06):
I then asked her if she made any of her
other friends in the same way. She told me she
hooked up with two other people she's friends with now.
One is one of the girls in her friend group,
which I never suspected. Apparently, the other guy told my
girlfriend that they spicy sleep together, that she would have
spicy sleep with a woman. So when she got back

(20:28):
from VAK, she did. My girlfriend said that she didn't
like it and it wasn't for her, but the girl
was very cool and they had a lot in common,
so they stay friends. She had a similar story with
one of her male friends. Basically, they met on a
dating app, got some spicy sleep, but realized that they
were not compatible and at all as romantic partners. I

(20:52):
don't know why finding this out upset me so much.
I trust my girlfriend entirely and no, she would never
cheat me, and she offered to let me look at
her messages with any of the three to never spend
time with them alone again. She also apologized for upsetting
me and said that if she'd known I care, she

(21:14):
would have told me before. I really don't know what
to do, as it's really bothering me, but at the
same time, I really feel like she hasn't done anything wrong.
I realized that I absolutely needed to speak with her
about it. I also realized that there was a lot
more about the situation that bothered me than I had
initially thought, including everyone knowing they had spicy sleep together

(21:37):
except for me. Her friend joked about it in front
of me and my girlfriend being seemingly dedicated to this
man even when he had first arrived to our city,
even though they had literally just spicy sleeped twice. I
decided to have a chill and open conversation with my
girlfriend and expressed that the situation was bothering me, even

(22:01):
though I knew she hadn't done anything wrong. We started
talking and she basically reiterated everything that she had said before,
and she also said that in the future she would
tell me if we met anyone she's been involved with.
She apologized for upsetting me and said that she would
have told me if she thought it would bother me.

(22:23):
So then I told her that I was honestly hurt.
Her friends all knew and joked about it, even with
me there, and it seemed disrespectful to me. At this
she was much less apologetic and said that she shares
everything with her friends and that she could control what
they said, which wasn't an answer I really liked. She

(22:46):
seemed to be irritated and a little mocking of me
at this point, but I kept going and expressed that
I was also uncomfortable with how she was so eager
to see him when he first arrived, even though he
hadn't been Even though he hadn't been just a two
night stand for her to that she was very honest,

(23:09):
but what she said hurt me a lot. She said
that he had been a special experience for her.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
No interpreted, that's my interpretation, as he'd been the kindest
and most respectful man she'll ever been involved with up
until that point, up until that point, up until that point,
that's somehow even worse. But she settled for op. But
she settled for OP though I don't like any of this,

(23:41):
and she's like, he was a special experience.

Speaker 7 (23:42):
It's already like uh.

Speaker 2 (23:43):
And then it's like because he was so kind and perfect,
it's like uh ah.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
More so that he was to her such a great
man that he couldn't be in a committed relationship with
any woman he chose, but he refused to do so
for some reason she couldn't understand. Obviously, that one hurt
a lot, though, as I was glad that at least
it was clear she was being honest. She then said

(24:08):
that even though she liked him a lot and felt
that they had a special experience together, she loved me
and wanted to be with me, but didn't do much
to salvage the wound. Her comments, as well as the
comments on my original post had made me a bit
paranoid about her cheating, though I was pretty sure she
wouldn't do that, so I asked her to read their messages,

(24:31):
which she provided me without hesitation. Everyone recently was everything
was completely kosher. They would just send each other the
occasional Instagram real or post with some place they wanted
to go, and then they'd make plans on when. They
also talked about books and philosophy a lot. I'm not

(24:54):
very into either though, and these were long and intense conversations.
But but in fairness, none of it was dissimilar from
when my girlfriend has shown me messages with her other
friends who have always been platonic. There was nothing that
even suggested physical cheating. So then I kept reading because
I wanted to see what he'd said to her when

(25:15):
he arrived in our city. I decided to go all
the way back to when they first met, ough, which
my girlfriend said I was free to do, even though
it was before we were dating.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
Did you really break your hand? And then she's like,
yeah I did, And then you go, all right, well,
I'm gonna go to the garage with a hammer and
see what that's like. Yeah, yeah, I just know it's okay,
you could just know.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
Initially it wasn't much, just them having a short convo
and making plans to go out, and then making plans
again to hook up, then nothing after her vacation ended
until about three months later, after she'd come back from
vacation and started getting with other guys, she sent him
a long and heartfelt message that I felt sick reading

(26:00):
as soon as I started it, but which she told
me to finish. Basically, she implied that she she've been
essayed recently, she'd used the words questionably consensual, and she
was writing to thank him for their experience together and
the respect he'd shown her. She said that she'd never
been with a man who clearly liked and respected her

(26:21):
as much as he did, and she thanked him for
not only tak take oh, and she thanked him not
taking advantage of her when she was in a vulnerable position,
but also showing much care for her that everything they
did was beyond consensual. She said she'd never had a
spicy sleep experience like him, but hoped she would again,

(26:43):
and then she ended it with a joke about how
he was incredible in bed. Okay, so she thanked him
for being a gentleman and not only seeing her for
spicy sleep, and then said, you're really great at spicy sleep.
To that, he replied with an equally heartfelt message about
how she and every woman deserved to be treated well,
and then he said that he fell from just meeting

(27:04):
her twice, that she was a special woman, and he
hoped that they would meet again. After that, they kept
in loose contact, but just swiping up on the occasional
Instagram story with a comment or question, and never anything
further than that. When we started dating and she posted
a picture with me, he swiped up and asked if
we were dating. She said yes. He said something along

(27:26):
the lines of me being cute and that he hoped
she was happy. They basically didn't speak until he moved
into our city and messenger. He made it clear in
his message that he knew she had a boyfriend and
that he understand if I wasn't comfortable with him meeting up,
but that he did like her in a platonic way,
as well as if she was interested in showing him around.

(27:49):
This really upset me, as I realized that even he
thought I should have been informed and he wouldn't have
hung out with her if I'd said no, But she
didn't even give me the opportunity to decide or express
my feelings on the issue. I asked her why she
didn't tell me, even though it was clear she should have,

(28:11):
and she basically broke it down and admitted that she
really liked him and wanted to see him even as
a friend, and that she thought I probably would have
been uncomfortable with it, even though she would have never cheated.

Speaker 5 (28:25):
WHOA.

Speaker 3 (28:26):
So she still had feelings for.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
The guy, but platonically, well, she still liked him. Platonically,
We don't know that ice, which is what anyone would say,
isn't that right? This is the man that let her realize,
oh my god, there's good men out like. Men aren't
trash like this man took such good care of me
and was so great, Maybe I can find my true love. Yeah,

(28:47):
and then she just like found op and now she's like, ooh,
but that guy back in town, Oh my god, what
if he's the one?

Speaker 3 (28:55):
She said, that's why she brought me on the tour,
so that we would all know that she would never
be involved with him physically while we were together. This
really broke me, as it seemed clear that between me
and him, she would always choose him, even without the
physical aspect. It seemed like she greatly preferred him to
me as a person, and I know from her messages

(29:17):
and her friends jokes that the physical aspect was better
with him too. But you know what's also better with
us is that we keep reading stories every day of
the week on our podcast. So you can join us
on Spotify and Apple or what other podcast platforms j're
on to get more stories like this.

Speaker 2 (29:33):
Join us, Sarah. All you gotta do is look up
Okay story time.

Speaker 6 (29:37):
That's that's the can of worms he opened up you.
I was like, this guy, this guy's in a whole
world to hurt right now if he's gonna do this,
and I don't, what do you expect, Like just her
talking about him like, oh, I can't wait for my
future like boyfriend and that's gonna be so mid.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
I asked her why she wouldn't just be with him then,
and she said that he wasn't looking to settle down
and she was, so there would have wouldn't have been
any point in breaking up with me, who did she
like and had a good relationship, just for a chance
with me. She said that being friends with him was

(30:15):
enough for her. I then asked her pretty much point blank,
what she felt for him, and she admitted that she
was in love with him now break up, break up,
break up, break up, break up, and she had grown
more fond of him since he'd come into our city

(30:36):
and they'd had gotten to know each other more.

Speaker 6 (30:38):
Yeah, I guarantee you she started feeling butterflies when this
guy texted her like I'm gonna.

Speaker 2 (30:42):
Be in town.

Speaker 3 (30:43):
I think she'd realize at this point that we're going
to break up and so that she might as well
be completely honest, and that's the end. They broke up.
They had him broken up.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
Oh well, cow god, wow, og host.

Speaker 1 (31:00):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick
free minute break of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
My boyfriend and I planned to get married, but he
still hasn't proposed.

Speaker 3 (31:10):
It's kind of hard to get married when someone doesn't propos.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
I twenty three female have been dating my boyfriend twenty
five male for almost six years. This one's kind of
a doozy, so I apologize. My boyfriend and I started
dating my freshman year of college in twenty seventeen. By
the way. This comes from user throwaway Speechy on the
r slash Okay storytime subrend it. Everything was going really
well and everything just fell into place. It just felt

(31:36):
right until the pandemic hit in twenty twenty and we
all got sent home to finish college virtually during my
senior year. We have been in a long distance relationship
since because I then began attending graduate school for speech
therapy to save money. I lived with my parents and
he lived with his who lived three hours away from me.
When the long distance began, my only ask of him

(31:59):
was that we be married when I graduate in August
twenty twenty three. In our families, it is super important
that we are married before living together. You already know
purity culture crap. He saw this as reasonable and claimed
it was something he really wanted. Then we could get
married and get a place together once I'm done with school.

(32:20):
Here is the dilemma. He still hasn't proposed yet. Like
we had agreed, he expressed that he was planning on
talking to my parents to get their blessing. Before planning
the proposal. He initiated a conversation with my parents about
next steps. In November twenty twenty two, and hasn't said
anything up until last week. He's been at my house
three times and never sought after opportunities to say something.

(32:43):
He's putting it off, and there's only one reason why
he would. It would be one thing if he had
expressed that he wasn't ready for marriage, whether that be
not being emotionally ready or financially ready. But he's been
talking a lot about engagement for the last two years,
getting my hopes up, and then nothing happens. One important
thing to note is that he is an only child

(33:03):
with a mom who has a meltdown when the idea
of marriage or moving out is even mentioned.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
Oh okay, all right, there there's the problem.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
My boyfriend propose and it's like mom, his mom, Mom,
his mom, and also his mom.

Speaker 3 (33:19):
Oh you forgot his mom is insane?

Speaker 2 (33:20):
Oh but his mom is. That's also the bonus space
in the bingo card is his mom. She has been
an issue throughout our entire relationship because she is constantly
trying to create division between us, whether that is talking
crap about him to me or vice versa. Yeah, Dawn down,
talking your own son, being like, you don't want to
date this guy. He sucks. He's worse, trust me, I

(33:42):
raised him. It's terrible. Look at him.

Speaker 3 (33:44):
He won't even move out of his parents' house.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
He has now begun expressing fears of leaving his parents
when he's the only one there to take care of them.

Speaker 3 (33:54):
Eighty how old are they?

Speaker 2 (33:55):
He's afraid of what they'll think of him if he
leaves for a career opportunity, or for me, who was
seeking career opportunities in speech therapy in various locations. So really,
I'm just gonna pause really quick and say that if
your parents want to make you feel guilty for like
bettering your life or pursuing a career, or like doing
leaving the nest, it's like, you don't have to listen
to that.

Speaker 3 (34:13):
You don't. Yeah, that is crazy.

Speaker 2 (34:16):
You listen to your heart. If your heart is in
the right place, you listen to that. Onto his conversations
with my parents, which is the biggest concern I'm having.
First he told my parents he was planning on proposing
this summer. He then expressed that he was afraid of
commitment and sacrifice. My dad asked him what he meant,
to which he responded, well, I like my knee time

(34:36):
and my space to play video games and watch sporting events,
which my parents give me. I'm scared to give that
up for a wife or to help with kids. It
sounds like he's not ready for a relationship, so after
hearing that, this kind of broke me because he would
have never said anything like this before moving back home

(34:56):
with his parents. He's extremely comfortable with his life and
doesn't want to change it.

Speaker 3 (35:01):
Ooh, that's also another red flag.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
But I want to change mine. I want to move
out and get an amazing speech therapy career opportunity when
August rolls around. I want to get married and have kids.
This was something I'd wanted to do with him, but
with his unsupportive parents and some of the concerns he's
expressing to everyone but me, I'm really scared to proceed
with him and include him in things such as apartment

(35:24):
or job hunting. Things haven't been the same as they
were before we started long distance for a long time.
I've been trying to remain optimistic through all of this
in case things do go back to the way they
were once we got a place together, but that optimism
is fading. I thought I could have the best of
both worlds. The career and the guy, but I'm stuck
at across roads instead and am incredibly stressed and heartbroken.

(35:46):
This is supposed to be an exciting time, but it's
just dreadful because of all of this. And he thoughts,
please be brutally honest, especially if I could have proceeded
differently with this.

Speaker 3 (35:58):
All right, we'll be as brutally honest as we can do.
We do that at first, or get brutally honest right now.
We'll get brutally honest. Dump him. He is a very
comfortable I'm gonna stay as he wants. PLS.

Speaker 2 (36:14):
I think you clearly need to meet face to face
with this guy and try to have a conversation and
be like, so, what made you feel like you couldn't
come to me with this stuff? It is clearly you didn't,
she said. Everybody seems to know about this except me,
So why didn't you talk to me about it? By
have you never brought it up? The main issue isn't
that he hasn't proposed if he had concerns about a

(36:35):
marriage or wasn't ready. He needs to tell me that
he either hasn't told me or whenever I've asked he
brushes it off and says he wants to marry me anyway.
My main issue is his consistency. He says one thing
but doesn't demonstrate it through actions. I've had conversations with
him about this, and he just says he'll try to
do better as far as the video games and sports go.

(36:55):
I really try not to be nitpicky or controlling about
what he does in his spare time or how much
of it he does. I've been gas lit and heard
in previous relationships for being too controlling, so I try
to be extra conscientious of that. I'm supportive of him
hanging out with the boys and tried to get to
know them as well. Although these things aren't my go tos.
I try to watch sporting events with him and play

(37:17):
video games with him to try to understand the hype.
And by the way, you can understand this hype that
there are a bunch of stories, nearly limitless well of
stories just like this one that you can listen to.
All you have to do is search Okay story Time
on any of your preferred podcast platforms, whether it's Spotify
or Apple Music or even YouTube like you can find

(37:40):
us pretty much anywhere. All you gotta do is search Okay, storytime, Yep,
that's it. Holy crap, y'all. It took me four months,
but I did it. I ended it. Wow, it took
you four months? Whoa, that's crazy. Hey, better late than never.
Over the last four months, all of our relationship has
been just talks of either marriage or engagement or taking

(38:02):
me out on the town, when he never actually does
the things he says he'll do. Lots of gas lighting, manipulation,
the works. Whenever I wanted to have a conversation about
serious stuff like where to live, finances, kids, et cetera,
he brushed it off like it was nothing. This was
how I knew he was not planning for the future.
Apparently his parents know more about his financial situation than

(38:23):
I do, which don't even get me started. I approached
them about it and they showed me how many.

Speaker 3 (38:28):
Loans he has and guess what, if you get married,
half of those loans are also yours.

Speaker 2 (38:35):
No way, I didn't know that.

Speaker 3 (38:36):
Nope.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
Ooh, oh my god. And Op says they are astronomical.

Speaker 7 (38:42):
And he hadn't paid a dime since he graduated from
college four years ago.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
Wow, all while having zero expenses nothing. This made me
upset because not only did I have expenses, but I
was working insane to pay for school and for my expenses,
and he didn't make any attempts to have a stable,
consistent job over the summer. At that point, I was done. Wow,

(39:12):
I think we're all done. It took a lot of
courage to leave, especially considering the problems with his mom.
I thought she'd bite my head off for dumping her baby.

Speaker 7 (39:21):
LMAO.

Speaker 2 (39:21):
Well it's a good things. She's not a praying mantis.
She can't eat you. But I finally did it this
past weekend. Dang, did I dodge a bullet?

Speaker 3 (39:29):
Agreed?

Speaker 2 (39:30):
The whole conversation was very gaslightly and manipulative. I felt
like I was witnessing a toddler throwing a tantrum. He
was crying, pacing, throwing stuff I bought him, et cetera.
He accused me of cheating when I told him the
long distance was affecting my feelings for him. Whoa, which
means he probably cheated. He tried to bribe me with
stuff to stay with him, like a Nintendo swig ha
bro bro. He can manipulate me. He guilted me for

(39:53):
all the dates he took me on over the summer
and in college years ago. Keep in mind I was
paying for undergrad and graduate school out of pocket and
had no money. He accused me of never wanting him
to be happy. The worst part when I told his
mom we broke up, it was essentially a don't let
the door hit you on the way out kind of conversation.
I don't know why that's bad, that's good. The mom's

(40:14):
just like whatever, by.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
Uh, mom, you raised the failure.

Speaker 2 (40:18):
All of these are technically good signs. Yeah, this is
a good sign where that you made the best decision.
She basically said, sorry, y'all broke up. Have a good life, Cyanara, Sammy.
And to be honest, I was hoping she'd yell at
me or bite my head off. Why were you hoping?
Just so I could see her stick up for him
a little bit, just to show me she truly cares
about his well being and not just her own for

(40:39):
whenever he decides to leave her. I'm sad and extremely
anxious because I left something that was comfortable and don't
know what the future brings. I hated hurting him, but
he has inflicted a lot of pain and doubts into
my mind and he hurt himself.

Speaker 3 (40:52):
Ooh by boom.

Speaker 2 (40:55):
I never changing had these conversations over and over again.
He's like, I'll try to do better. He never tried.
A lot of you said in the comments that I'm
young and it'll be okay, and you're right, but being
a girl in your twenties is so hard, especially with
finding and maintaining friendships and relationships. It'll be fine, though.
Thank you for the advice and support, and thank you
for taking the time to read all of my word vomit.

(41:15):
The reddit community is truly amazing, and that is the
end of that story. Very nice.

Speaker 6 (41:23):
I kind of called it though, like he was gonna
just bit Oh, you didn't talk about it.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
It's just pointing the finger.

Speaker 8 (41:31):
My mother in law is a nightmare. But then my
husband started being the same. No, my ex husband seemed
perfect until until he became your ax, until we got married,
and then he changed when the ring went on my finger,
and I noticed all the red flags as soon.

Speaker 9 (41:48):
As I was out of the relationship.

Speaker 8 (41:50):
By the way, this comes from a Pink Haired Girl
ninety three and the rok Storytime subreddit. So when we
were together, he was acting like he couldn't do enough
for me, my fan family, and our friends. But then
he would moan about it and everyone when we were
home alone, I had a million and one problems with
his mom. With his mom at the time we were together,
I was on antidepressants and she offered to pick up

(42:12):
my prescription as she worked at the pharmacy that I
got them from. She didn't know what the prescription was for,
and when we got back to their house, the bag
was on his bed and the sticker was open. That
is such an invasion of privacy. Yeah, so so inappropriate.
I thought nothing of this at first, as I thought
the paper bag might have just ripped in her bag,

(42:34):
But when my ex was in the kitchen, she asked
him if he knew I was taking a high dose antidepressant.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
WHOA does she do this?

Speaker 6 (42:41):
No?

Speaker 9 (42:41):
Shame like in front of op.

Speaker 7 (42:43):
Yeah, she was like, oh, I went through your bag
and I noticed you have a prescription.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
Very high dose. Does your husband know?

Speaker 8 (42:51):
For context, I was seventeen years old when I was
diagnosed with anxiety and depression on Christmas Eve, and was
twenty or twenty one when this happened.

Speaker 7 (43:00):
She's pretty yah, so she's yeah.

Speaker 9 (43:02):
This mother is violating Sarah Riley says, isn't this illegal?
That is illegal?

Speaker 2 (43:06):
It sounds illegal, that is illegal.

Speaker 8 (43:09):
I had been dating her son since I was nineteen.
He was twenty seven, little bit of an in.

Speaker 7 (43:16):
Yeah, it makes sense why these people are controlling.

Speaker 8 (43:19):
Yeah, I should have noticed a red flag of being
twenty seven and living at home with his mom and dad.

Speaker 2 (43:24):
I was livid. Everyone has different scenarios situations.

Speaker 7 (43:27):
This is true.

Speaker 8 (43:28):
I was livid when I found out she had check
what my prescription was for and then spoken to him
about it. I don't know what he said about it,
as I wasn't there. Okay, so it wasn't like in
front of op so, but it's behind her back. There
were a few incidents where we would go out and
she would go through my bag in his room, use
my Eggzma cream that costs a lot of money.

Speaker 9 (43:49):
So she's just like in all her things. This is
a pattern.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
I got eggszma.

Speaker 9 (43:55):
Yeah, I got red hands since I was a child.

Speaker 7 (43:57):
I make some of my feet sometimes.

Speaker 8 (43:58):
We came home once and her sitting on the sofa
looking extremely shiny. He asked her why she was so shiny?
Why are you so shiny?

Speaker 7 (44:07):
Mom?

Speaker 2 (44:08):
Why are you glowing, and she said, I borrow something
for Queen. Queen Queen.

Speaker 8 (44:14):
I said that I wish she had asked, as it's
really expensive. She said, well, we are family now, I
don't need to ask.

Speaker 2 (44:21):
She said, well we are family now, I don't need
to ask.

Speaker 8 (44:24):
When we went upstairs and found that the brand new,
unopened tub was now half empty.

Speaker 7 (44:31):
She like slather herself.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
You know, like the peanut butter.

Speaker 8 (44:40):
I was really angry, as I worked for minimum wage
and don't have money to just throw away. Cream could
be expensive, especially like prescription cream.

Speaker 7 (44:46):
Kimberly says, that's slippery be. Wait what Kimberly find says
that's slippery be?

Speaker 8 (44:55):
And I was really angry as a work minimum work
for minimum wag and don't have money to throw away.

Speaker 9 (45:01):
He told me to calm down and he would sort
it out.

Speaker 8 (45:04):
I thought this meant he would talk to her and
one of them would buy me a new one.

Speaker 9 (45:07):
No, that would make sense. That never happened.

Speaker 8 (45:10):
The next week, we went into and came back to
his to find that his room had a strange burnt smell.

Speaker 7 (45:18):
She staged in the room.

Speaker 8 (45:19):
I looked round to find that my bag had been
emptied out and my GHD hair strangeners had been used.
Oh no, they'd been used on wet hair or hair
with lots of product in which had broken them.

Speaker 9 (45:33):
No, so she's a creamy girl. Sorry for that sentence.

Speaker 8 (45:37):
When I tried to use them after cleaning them, they
smelt like fire and started to smoke.

Speaker 7 (45:42):
She just strikes everything she touches.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (45:45):
I asked her if she had used them, as they
weren't in the bag I left them, and she said no.

Speaker 7 (45:51):
No, and her hair is like.

Speaker 9 (45:53):
Broken, like her hair is on fire.

Speaker 8 (45:57):
No, she's super sha and said I was pair annoid
when we got engaged.

Speaker 2 (46:02):
She said, you can call me mom now.

Speaker 8 (46:05):
I stated that I'm not comfortable to call someone else
mom because I'm very close with my mom and it
would just be weird for me, to which she got
upset and started saying to her husband how ungrateful and
rude I was.

Speaker 9 (46:15):
She put her mom in the care.

Speaker 8 (46:17):
Home I was working in when she had cancer and
can no longer look after herself. During this time, she
told everyone I wasn't looking after her properly, that she
was getting worse and not better.

Speaker 9 (46:26):
At the funeral, she.

Speaker 8 (46:27):
Said to people she passed away because of the care
I provided. At the funeral, she said to people, she
passed away because of the care I provided, I can't
cure cancer.

Speaker 7 (46:37):
Shame on you, Ope, shame.

Speaker 9 (46:41):
A few years down the line, I was working in
a different care home that she made sure her husband's
mum became a resident at. She had dementia when she
passed away, and my ex had already separated, and she
told everyone.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
I had unlived her.

Speaker 8 (46:55):
Ah, So she's just doing all these types of blame
and she's stealing her stuff. Yeah, she's making demands like
call me mom getting upset, which is I wanted to
and then she's blaming her for not curing cancer, not
curing and causing the unliveness of multiple of her family moments.

Speaker 7 (47:12):
So he's a cereal un alive ry at this point.

Speaker 9 (47:14):
Yeah, she should go to jail, to jail for all
of this.

Speaker 8 (47:17):
During the planning of our wedding, his mom kept trying
to get us to invite her friends, saying that we
would pay for them to go. We had to keep
saying that people were not invited and we would not
be paying for people to come to our wedding. She
also wanted to come dress shopping with me and my mom,
my mom, but I love this word so much. My
mom and I refused, and she became upset and pointing
out that I couldn't wear certain types of dresses because

(47:39):
I was too fat.

Speaker 7 (47:41):
I hate this person. Maybe your mouth should be more closed,
you tell them, Maybe your big mouth should be closed.

Speaker 9 (47:51):
Yeah, hit it more?

Speaker 2 (47:52):
What more?

Speaker 7 (47:53):
Maybe?

Speaker 2 (47:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (47:58):
All right?

Speaker 8 (47:58):
I was a size six or eight UK sizes. She
then insisted on wearing the same color as my bridesmaids.

Speaker 7 (48:05):
This woman is like, what if I wore the same
color as your bridesmaid? If I wore a white white dress,
and if you're not son, I'm mad at you.

Speaker 8 (48:16):
She then insisted on wearing the same color as my bridesmaids.
This was my NaN's favorite color. I love these words.
This was my NaN's favorite color, and she had passed
away a couple of years before. I was very close
with her and was heartbroken. She finally agreed not to
wear that color when my mom told her she wanted
to wear that color, and then she had to buy
new bridesmaid dresses and a new dress for my flower girl.

Speaker 9 (48:34):
She was not happy about this.

Speaker 8 (48:36):
Nice someone finally standing up also, I'm curious this whole
time that like, all these inappropriates are happening, what's her
husband doing?

Speaker 9 (48:44):
And also what is op doing?

Speaker 8 (48:45):
Like are these are they communicating their dissatisfaction?

Speaker 9 (48:48):
Are they putting boundaries down?

Speaker 7 (48:50):
I think it's pretty hard though, as like a young
twenty something too, it's a good point know how to
do that because you haven't quite learned how to do
it for sure.

Speaker 8 (48:57):
I'm just curious if any conversations were happening or if
like she's just getting away with all this behavior. Yeah,
when we got married, we decided to get married in
another country on the same beach she had proposed to
me on cute During the time she was there for
the wedding, and she was increasingly insufferable. She would put
things on my parents' bills and bars and restaurants. The

(49:17):
worst was at the hen party, which I hope she
couldn't come to. I hope she would go to the
stag party with her son. So she was upset because
she didn't have a mother of the groom sash. We
didn't get her one because of all the things she
had done and we were petty like that. The main
reason we didn't was she wouldn't stop calling my nan,
My grandma.

Speaker 9 (49:38):
Seems silly.

Speaker 5 (49:38):
I know.

Speaker 9 (49:39):
My nan hated being called a grandma as it was
too posh and old sounding.

Speaker 8 (49:43):
She only became a granny when my cousin had her
first child, and great Nan would be too hard for
the child to say. And all the stuff surrounding the
dress color. She knew what the color meant to me,
as we said a million times to her, and she stated,
it's a nice color that will look good on me.
She's like, I don't care. They're like, we're mad, and
she was like, I couldn't care less. At the hen
party after the sash drama, she kept telling me to

(50:06):
watch what I'm eating. Is dress won't fit more weight
comments and with probably already a struggle to get me
into it.

Speaker 9 (50:14):
Oh my god, keep your mouth rude.

Speaker 8 (50:17):
Caitlyn still loves me cream cream cream my mom, cousin
and and and and second mom my mom's best friend
from since I was eighteen months old. I'd finally had
enough of this, started topping up her drinks. I hope
she would be too hungover for the wedding the next day.

Speaker 7 (50:37):
Trying to just like, you go keep it coming.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
But what if she just work? She gets more on
super DRUMA. That's what we want. You're playing a dangerous
game here.

Speaker 7 (50:48):
It to balance.

Speaker 2 (50:49):
Finally have enough okay.

Speaker 8 (50:52):
Two people who shall remain nameless also tripped her up
on the way home from talking too much bs about me. Unfortunately,
she was fine the next day, like physically tripped her.

Speaker 7 (51:01):
It seems so it seems like they're they're trying to
get her super blackout drunk, and then they're also like
trying to like take her out.

Speaker 8 (51:10):
Unfortunately, she was fine the next day. Unfortunately, dang it. Well,
everyone was making their way to their seats for the wedding.
Mother in law walk down the aisle testing it out
for me apparently, but knocking the flowers out of place
so that they had to be moved back and.

Speaker 9 (51:25):
Delayed our wedding.

Speaker 8 (51:27):
She then kept trying to be in every single photo
with the photographer was having no of and refused to
was having no of and refuse to take the pictures
till she was out of the way.

Speaker 9 (51:37):
Oh so the photographer was not having it.

Speaker 2 (51:39):
Yeah, it was like.

Speaker 9 (51:40):
No, get out of the way, get out of a
big shiite.

Speaker 8 (51:43):
After the wedding, when we got back home, she told
everyone how fat I was in my dress, shut off,
and how unfortunate was that I looked the way I did?

Speaker 7 (51:51):
How unfortunate is that you are the way that you
are because everyone hates you?

Speaker 8 (51:55):
Wild it doesn't stop, it does stop. My exident started
to chat change, and I became his property. Well, like
if this is your mom, Yeah, it's kind of hard
to come out like undamaged. So it makes sense, like
the previous story of someone like internalized the way their parents.
I mean that we're human, that's what happens, all right.

(52:16):
So I wasn't allowed out without him or to talk
to certain people, so he all this controlling behavior just
came in. Yeah, then COVID hit and lockdown was enforced.
It didn't not help us, as I was suddenly stuck
without even being able to go to my parents' house
ten minutes down the road.

Speaker 7 (52:31):
Yeah, that must have been really hard for like when
you're already in a relationship that is this controlling and
stuff and then to not even be able to leave.

Speaker 8 (52:39):
Yeah, you're stuck and with this controlling person, which probably
makes the controlling behavior even worse. Yeah, as I work
in healthcare, I was only allowed to go to work
and home, not even to go get to go out shopping.
I had to keep the residents of the care home safe.
I started working more hours as we became short staffed
because people were getting COVID. I worked twelve days in
a row, twelve hour shifts. I was exhausted after this

(53:02):
and slept for most of the day. Makes sense. My
ex came home for work and told me how useless
and lazy I was because I hadn't done the ironing.
He then accused me of cheating on him, you haven't
done the ironing, and also, uh, you're cheating on me.

Speaker 7 (53:17):
I hate him.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
He how I'm not allowed to go anywhere.

Speaker 7 (53:21):
Yeah, it's like the word like how.

Speaker 8 (53:23):
She's like, He's like, you're hooking up with your patients.
Things got worse, and after a year, I moved to
my parents' house to try and have some space and
repair our relationship.

Speaker 9 (53:31):
He then called and told me.

Speaker 8 (53:32):
I moved back and quit my job and cut off
all contact with everyone I know other than my family members.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
So he told O p to do this.

Speaker 7 (53:41):
I think so or that she did do that, I
don't know.

Speaker 9 (53:45):
I was done. I said it's over. Let's go our
separate ways. Thank god.

Speaker 8 (53:50):
Yeah, when I moved back to my parents. We had
agreed that i'd take the cat with me. When we
finally said it was over. He told everyone that I
left without saying anything and took the cat.

Speaker 9 (53:59):
Did He's trying to happen.

Speaker 7 (54:00):
He's trying to manipulate people.

Speaker 9 (54:02):
But is that what happened?

Speaker 7 (54:05):
I think I don't think that she left without saying anything.
I think they talked about it and he kind of
told her to go okay.

Speaker 8 (54:11):
Since the breakup, I noticed how he would play mind
games with me and use my mental health against me.
And I also found out that there were lunch dates
with girls he worked with while we were still together
and getting along.

Speaker 7 (54:22):
But were they were they friend aids? Do we think
about that?

Speaker 2 (54:25):
Were they friend aids?

Speaker 7 (54:26):
No?

Speaker 2 (54:27):
Friendy?

Speaker 7 (54:28):
So obviously projection. He's like, oh, you're cheating on me,
as he's cheating.

Speaker 9 (54:31):
On unless they were friend dates.

Speaker 7 (54:33):
Unless they were a friend aids.

Speaker 2 (54:34):
Of course friend.

Speaker 8 (54:34):
Dates are great according to him and his family. I'm
the ahole for breaking his heart and leaving him for
someone else. Also, we would never leave you. Because you
could listen to full episodes of stories like this, just
go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app
and search. Okay, storytime, there's another relevant update, but let's discuss.

Speaker 7 (54:54):
Yeah, I mean good, good thing to get away from
him and his crazy mom, his creamy mom.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
Up.

Speaker 5 (55:00):
No, I'm sorry, get away for me cream be going
creamy mum.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
I don't think it's good for us, not just yeah.

Speaker 7 (55:19):
No, I think it's good that you're getting away from her.
I think that you need to find you know, you
deserve someone who is not going to treat you like
this and dismiss your feelings and the amount of work
that you do, especially I mean being healthcare you know
worker during the pandemic, a lot.

Speaker 9 (55:37):
Of a lot of work.

Speaker 2 (55:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (55:41):
And it's one thing to like be happy with your
partner and they have a crazy mom and you're like, okay,
this sucks.

Speaker 9 (55:45):
It's you know, un package deal and I love my partner.

Speaker 8 (55:48):
It's another for your partner to be also controlling and
insulting and similar to his mom.

Speaker 9 (55:54):
I'm very glad they got out me too.

Speaker 8 (55:57):
So I didn't start dating until six months after we
separate for good. I started dating a guy that was
there for me throughout the whole separation and me trying
to reconcile. I tried arranging couples counseling, which I paid
for and then he refused to do it and I
lost five hundred pounds as it was cheaper to block book.
I know dealing with someone with mental health problems isn't easy,

(56:18):
but every time I would feel myself slipping into a
dark place, I would sort out therapy and go back
onto medication if I needed to.

Speaker 9 (56:24):
So, am I the ahole?

Speaker 3 (56:25):
Whoa?

Speaker 5 (56:26):
In?

Speaker 2 (56:27):
What? No way?

Speaker 9 (56:28):
Are you the a hole?

Speaker 2 (56:30):
No? Not at all.

Speaker 8 (56:31):
I'm sorry that you've internalized the shaming and insulting from
your your exes, from your ex and their mom. Yeah,
but I hope you could reconcile that inside of you
and realize that you were did great to get out of.

Speaker 9 (56:45):
This relationship and it was only damaging too.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
Hey it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories.
But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

Speaker 7 (56:53):
We ruined my mother in law's Christmas because we didn't
spend it with her. Sounds like the first.

Speaker 9 (56:58):
Mother tis tis long story short?

Speaker 7 (57:01):
Am I the A hole? If I stay at home
at Christmas instead of spending it with my in laws?
Me twenty nine female and my fiance thirty one male
bought a small farm about a year ago so I
could realize my dream of having my own sales and
training stable for horses.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
That's so cool. Sick. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (57:18):
We spend Christmas one year with my family and the
next with my fiance's family, and therefore discussed this Christmas
with my in laws the first week in our new home.
By the way, this comes from ok lettuce forty five
to twelve on the Okay Storytime separed it. So we
agreed to host everyone at our place since we had
the most base, and because we expected to have horses

(57:38):
on the property by the summer, I couldn't really go
anywhere anyway. The horses needed to be fed three times
a day, They needed time outside in the paddocks, the
stall needed to be clean, et cetera. As we had
hoped and planned. The first horses arrived in August. Then
my fiance's grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer for a
second time oh in October, and my mother in law,

(58:02):
in a state of panic, booked a vacation home four
hours away from where we live for a whole week,
non refundable, without speaking to anyone before doing so. I
have been looking forward to spending Christmas at home, going
for a sleigh ride with the kids. I'm go go
to a sleigh ride, putting out snacks for the elf,
living in the barn and not having to travel anywhere

(58:24):
with a screaming two year old who hates car rides.
After the worst.

Speaker 8 (58:28):
Year of my life, and did people did the family
they were going? They agreed to come to Opie's farm.
Um Or, that was just what OPI was thinking.

Speaker 7 (58:37):
Op he was thinking, we agree to host everyoney, yeah,
at their place. And then we find out that the
mother in law booked a vacation home four hours away.
It started in March when my dad was diagnosed with
esophagal cancer which had spread to both lungs. He refused
chemotherapy as it would only give him a couple of

(58:59):
extra weeks and he would be sick from the treatment.
Then my maternal grandmother passed away in May oh my
dad passed away in June, oh No, only three weeks
after my grandmother, and then my paternal grandfather passed away
in September.

Speaker 9 (59:15):
My wow, this is so sad.

Speaker 7 (59:17):
They all lived in my home country, Norway, and as
I live in Denmark, this has meant a lot of
traveling for me and my two year old daughter. I
would really like to just stay at home this Christmas,
and I have the added responsibility of those horses boarded
at our property. I will not compromise on animal welfare
because of a holiday. I even told my fiance that

(59:38):
he could go with our daughter. Even though it broke
my heart thinking about not being with them, I knew
how much it means to his family that they're there.
He however, said that either we all go or none
of us goes. He did not want me to be
alone for Christmas. As fate would have it. A child
in my daughter's daycare got chicken box last week. She

(59:58):
could have been contagious for a couple of days before
the symptoms started, so there's a fair chance my daughter
is getting it too done. Why don't they have the
chickenpox that I seene Let's go on there, and with
the ten to fourteen days incubation period, it fits perfectly
with a Christmas outbreak. I told my mother in law
about it, hoping she would say we should stay home.

(01:00:19):
Thinking about the other kids, and of course my fiance's grandmother,
who is an active chemotherapy, she actually has to rush
home on the twenty fifth because she's having treatment that day.
She lives twenty minutes away from us, so it's a
ridiculous trip for her as well. I told mother in
law that if our daughter gets really sick, we are
not going. She did not like that. Oh, so what

(01:00:43):
do we do? Stay at home, ruining possibly the last
Christmas my fiance's family is having with his grandmother, but
keeping a clean conscious about the horses and my car
hating toddler. Or do we feed the horses and put
them in their stalls way too early and even then
arrive late for Christmas dinner with a tired and possibly

(01:01:03):
sick toddler, opening a few presents and going to bed
where I won't be able to sleep, knowing there's no
one at our property in case of an emergency with
the horses, then we'll have to haul but at the
crack of dawn to go home again with a screaming toddler,
still arrive late for the horse's breakfast and eventually just
crash out from exhaustion on the couch. I have never

(01:01:25):
in my life hope my daughter gets sick, but now
I kind of do. She as to get it eventually, anyway,
and there is an update.

Speaker 8 (01:01:33):
I have some questions real quick. Can you get a
horse sitter? Is that a possibility?

Speaker 7 (01:01:38):
That's what I was wondering.

Speaker 9 (01:01:39):
So when you have horses, you because just never leave
your property.

Speaker 7 (01:01:42):
Yeah, I'm assuming that. I mean usually you have I
don't know, I don't know too much about like what
it goes into having horses, but I assume that usually
you have multiple hands and stuff that like you would
want at least if you ever need to, like in
an emergency, leave the property or something or go with
your you know, And it seems like.

Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
You have.

Speaker 7 (01:02:04):
Of I mean, maybe they don't have that much time,
but it seems like you maybe have like a week
or two advanced notice. But I think the problem is
it just seems like a lot of effort in general,
like you have to get a sitter, you have to
your kids sick, there's driving involved. So it seems like
that we told my fiance's family that we are staying

(01:02:26):
at home. Everyone was understanding, and the grandparents were happy
we thought about their health. That's good, yeah, accept mother
in law, that's always her. She made it very clear
how sad and disappointed it made her that her son
and granddaughter are staying home with me. She will have
other grandchildren there. He told her over the phone as

(01:02:46):
they already arrived at the vacation home. And I don't
think she knew she was on speaker when she told
my fiance that she hoped he wasn't compromising and doing
something he really didn't want to do. She completely disregarded
the stuff about her parents and grandparents' health and was
just annoyed we couldn't just get someone to watch the
dang horses. And there are some comments, so comment one says,

(01:03:10):
please quit trying to please your in laws. You think
they give one hood about your care and comfort. You
have a family and home, start your own traditions. Opie says,
apparently they don't, and they don't understand the whole horse thing.
My mother in law hates them and can't understand why
I want to work with them. I tried to start
a new tradition where everyone could stay at our place,

(01:03:31):
but that went down the drain because my mother in
law single handedly decided we should do something else this year.
And comment two says, I would tell mother in law sorry,
but he was organized for the Christmas gathering being held
at your residence. Her changing things around last minute is
not your problem. You will be staying at home. If
Grandma is home after her treatment, you can invite her

(01:03:51):
over later. Mother in law is being very disrespectful to
change plans and then get upset when things don't go
as she planned. Horses have the amazing ability to do
dumb things and get hurt. If you're responsible for them,
you have to look after them. And Opie replies exactly,
And on top of that, they have an amazing ability

(01:04:12):
to do things like that at the most inconvenient time.
Wouldn't surprise me if we got home to one horse
rolled stuck in its stall, one with colic, and the
fence for the horses in the loose housing would probably
be on the ground. In my last post, I wondered
if I would be the a hole if we stayed
at home during Christmas. Because of logistical issues with the
horses in my care, the long drive, and the potential

(01:04:34):
of passing on a virus to the great grandmother in
act of chemotherapy, we stayed at home and ruined my
mother in law's Christmas. We told her Sunday that we
would stay at home. She had other She had her
other son, her daughter and son in law with their
two young children, her parents, which wholeheartedly supported us staying
home so we wouldn't pass anything onto them. My father

(01:04:55):
in law, sister and her daughter, and some family members
from my brother brother in law's side, so she wasn't
exactly alone. We call them on FaceTime on Christmas, and
my mother in law made a point of not having
the time to speak to us because she needed to
be there with the grandkids who were actually there. They
were together for entire week except for a dry text

(01:05:17):
message on Christmas saying thanks for the gift. We haven't
heard from them since. I usually speak to my mother
in law every day, sending pictures and videos of our
daughter every day. Woo, and she's acting like this.

Speaker 9 (01:05:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:05:30):
She hasn't answered once since we told her we were
staying home. It kind of feels like she's punishing us
for not being there, and we kind of feel left
out of the family for the holiday. We have reached
out several times a day, both in the family group
chat and to my mother in law alone radio silence.
They have not done anything to make us feel included.

(01:05:52):
We didn't even get a Merry Christmas.

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
What the heck, come on, get over it.

Speaker 7 (01:05:56):
It's Christmas. Be nice.

Speaker 9 (01:05:58):
I under stand being upset.

Speaker 8 (01:06:01):
Yeah, I think it's it's unfair, but I understand. You know,
it was the possibly the last Christmas you wanted your
family there. You're upset that they couldn't come.

Speaker 7 (01:06:10):
But but like the grandparents are fine, Like yes, Like
why are you to get one of getting upset for them?

Speaker 9 (01:06:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 8 (01:06:17):
So I understand being upset, but have a little understanding
for someone for your family, especially when you change the
plans last minute.

Speaker 7 (01:06:26):
It's like, it's not like they don't they just don't
want to come. There are logistical issues here, and their
kid make me sick. I might have a disease.

Speaker 8 (01:06:33):
Yeah, And it seems like Opie and her husband are
doing what they can. Their their texting, trying to FaceTime,
They're reaching out, the mother in law is not responding.
Maybe the mother in law just needs to cool down
and it's all going to sort itself out. But it's
you know, it seems like op and Hehrsment did everything
they can at this point, I.

Speaker 7 (01:06:52):
Agreed after the twenty fifth I stopped reaching out. By
the way, you can reach out to us by listening
to full episodes, stories like this. Just go to Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app and search up. Okay,
story time. My fiance also got a severe tooth infection.

Speaker 8 (01:07:09):
Oh my god, it's hit after her guys are cursed? Yeah,
series of unfortunate events truly.

Speaker 7 (01:07:15):
Which needed a visit to the dentist Sunday, a call
to the er on Christmas Eve, and another visit to
the dentist on the twenty sixth. What cursed object did
you pick up from a temple?

Speaker 2 (01:07:27):
They caught the evil eye literally check.

Speaker 7 (01:07:30):
And our daughter is now sick with a mildcase. We
had a really nice Christmas at home and are now
really happy we didn't go great, but still a little
hurt because of mother in law's reaction. Sure, I have
loved her for almost ten years and been closer to
her than with my own mother, And there are some
were loving comments to finish us off. Common one says
she's using the silent treatment to make you beg for

(01:07:52):
her attention. Ignore it when she decides to pretend it
didn't happen. You can decide if you want a relationship
with her. Opie says, I haven't texted her today or yesterday.
My fiance tried today but got no answer as well.
I have loved the woman for almost ten years and
been closer to her than with my own mother. To
the stings a bit. Comment two says, stop chasing her.

(01:08:14):
Be glad you found out who she was before your
daughter got really attached.

Speaker 2 (01:08:17):
Okay, child, Okay, we don't know that.

Speaker 7 (01:08:20):
Yeah, she's she's pissy. She'll be fine, Like, you don't
have to necessarily be like she's my favorite person, but
you'll probably. I feel like everyone will get over it.

Speaker 8 (01:08:30):
What I continuously am frustrated with with comments on Reddit
is there's no room for any roughs.

Speaker 9 (01:08:38):
In relationships, terrible relationships.

Speaker 8 (01:08:42):
I think secure, strong relationships allow space for ruptures and
repair that. I mean, she said she was closer than
her own relationships, and so there's a rupture. It happens
in relationships. She's gonna calm down. You guys are probably
gonna take it, you know, talk it out. You've you
had a great relationship for ten years. This is not
to jump ahead and be like the relationship is over.

Speaker 6 (01:09:04):
No.

Speaker 7 (01:09:04):
I think this is her being a little baby and
she's got to get over it.

Speaker 2 (01:09:09):
Yeah, yeah, just wait it out.

Speaker 8 (01:09:10):
I agree, you don't need to keep texting her. She's
give her a space and you guys can come back
and you could have a conversation about it.

Speaker 2 (01:09:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:09:20):
My in law's ignored me when I fell down the stairs,
so I no longer want their help with my baby.

Speaker 3 (01:09:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:09:26):
If they can't take care of you, they can't take
every baby.

Speaker 2 (01:09:28):
That's true.

Speaker 8 (01:09:29):
I twenty one year old female who have a seventh
month son with my boyfriend.

Speaker 2 (01:09:35):
Young parent.

Speaker 8 (01:09:36):
Yeah, my family lives abroad and are coming over to
stay and help at Christmas time.

Speaker 9 (01:09:40):
For now, my mother in law and family, my end
father in.

Speaker 8 (01:09:44):
Law sixties, Deborah and Bob are helping me with household
stuff and the baby. So far, we haven't had any
real issues and they've been a massive help.

Speaker 9 (01:09:54):
There's about to be an.

Speaker 7 (01:09:55):
Issue, Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 2 (01:09:56):
By the way, this.

Speaker 9 (01:09:57):
Comes from you throw away Flora Fauna on the r
okay story Time stub read it.

Speaker 8 (01:10:02):
So, about three weeks ago, I fell down the stairs. No,
I wasn't holding the baby. That's good, and the baby
was safe. However, instead of helping me, Deborah and Bob
both jumped to comfort the baby he was crying and
left me at the bottom of the stairs.

Speaker 7 (01:10:20):
Why, oh, he's like and they're like.

Speaker 2 (01:10:24):
Disturbs.

Speaker 8 (01:10:26):
My legs were fine, but I was wobbly because of
shock and asked one of them to help me up.
After nearly ten whole minutes of being ignored, I managed
to stand up on my own and hobble through.

Speaker 7 (01:10:38):
To the Living God. So clearly Obi is hurt.

Speaker 2 (01:10:41):
I sit down and Deborah says, what's happened to you?
Are you okay?

Speaker 8 (01:10:45):
I'll admit I saw red. I just said I fell
down the stairs. Didn't you hear me calling you for help?
Deborah's eyes widened and she said she was too busy
fussing over the baby. My boyfriend just told them they're
invited to Sunday Roast this week, and that's all I
could tell. He was not happy about my decision, but
he said he went along with it because I'm the mother.

(01:11:06):
Fast forward to Sunday and my brother in law and
sister in law are guests as well. Sister in law
has a three year old and is totally on my side,
but brother in law is not. He told me to
be grateful for his parents support, as are significantly more
well off than my parents are and paid for many
newborn infant expenses and plan to pay for many more
as the baby grows, which is kind of a confused that.

(01:11:27):
He was, like, they paid money forgive them.

Speaker 7 (01:11:30):
Yeah, that's not the thing. The thing is like they
truly did not hear That would be my approach. I
think I'd be like there was a big misunderstanding.

Speaker 9 (01:11:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:11:41):
So since then, Deborah keeps calling asking if we need
any help, and she says she feels awful not seeing
the both of you, and she misses the baby.

Speaker 9 (01:11:48):
Am I the a hole for not wanting them helping
me in my day to day life?

Speaker 8 (01:11:52):
Was the baby crying loudly enough that there's a possibility
they didn't hear you?

Speaker 9 (01:11:56):
No way.

Speaker 8 (01:11:57):
The baby stopped crying after ten seconds, and the stairs
are like two meters from the living room.

Speaker 9 (01:12:02):
There's absolutely zero.

Speaker 8 (01:12:04):
Way they couldn't have heard me one scream as I fell,
to the general noise of someone following, including books falling
and wall plates breaking. Dang, So there's a big noise,
big noise. This is all important information. Yeah, me crying
and shouting for help as I fell at the top
of the stairs and fell all the way down. This
wasn't a misstep and a bum shuffle down that hurt

(01:12:24):
my perfect bone. I fully fell down the stairs and
cracked the banister.

Speaker 9 (01:12:29):
No way, they didn't hear.

Speaker 8 (01:12:31):
The baby also started crying after the initial smack. After
I hit the ground, things started to click. It became
clear that they just want a baby to FoST over
and the mother doesn't really matter to them. It didn't
truly explain the logistics of the reaction to my accident,
but a lot of things have made sense. I told
my boyfriend and we had a big discussion about boundaries.
Fiona also asked to come along for moral support and to.

Speaker 9 (01:12:51):
Speak her piece. She's not over the garden, dude.

Speaker 2 (01:12:53):
She's gonna be like I.

Speaker 7 (01:12:54):
Was in the garden for thirty minutes and you never
checked on me.

Speaker 2 (01:12:57):
Seems like she went into the garden just to make
a point.

Speaker 7 (01:12:59):
Is like, Oh, I'm gonna stand in that guard and
they're not even.

Speaker 2 (01:13:02):
Gonna notice and not know I'm picking the tomatoes. Those monsters.

Speaker 8 (01:13:07):
My boyfriend always had a hard time saying no to
people and keeping boundaries, but we've agreed to fully commit.
We invited the in laws over to discuss some stuff.
I'm glad the conversation is gonna happen. I don't think
it's gonna go well. I told him that I felt
confused and upset by the reaction. I explained what Fiona
had told me and how it's not okay for them

(01:13:27):
to ignore the mother's and they shouldn't do it to
my other brother in law's girlfriend if they decide to
have kids.

Speaker 7 (01:13:34):
This is reason, this is I think this is a
fair response.

Speaker 8 (01:13:36):
Fiona also said her peace and stuck up from me
when mother in law father in law tried to interrupt
her twist the truth. Mother in law was very was
clearly very uncomfortable and kept trying to interject with her
side while we were talking, but she eventually listened to us.
She told us her side Apparently she was neglected by
fathers in law's side of this family and that they

(01:13:57):
hated her for being poor. Father in law is old money.
Mother in law grew up in a village. She also
said that she grew up with five younger brothers and
took care of them all and never learned how to
communicate with other women as she never got a good
educationer who had friends because she was a caretaker. Obviously,
I was extremely sympathetic to all this I'm so glad

(01:14:17):
she context by having a conversation. Yeah, obviously, I was
extremely sympathetic to all this. My boyfriend had briefly mentioned
that my mother in law was abused by her own parents,
but never went into detail. I then asked them about
the Stare incident. Finally gonna get context.

Speaker 7 (01:14:34):
He here we go.

Speaker 9 (01:14:35):
Myther in law said she.

Speaker 2 (01:14:37):
Oh no, no, oh no, I'm about to be so long.

Speaker 9 (01:14:42):
No, so wrong.

Speaker 7 (01:14:43):
Oh, they were horrible people.

Speaker 5 (01:14:50):
Read it.

Speaker 8 (01:14:51):
Mother in law said she didn't care about it in
the moment, Ah.

Speaker 7 (01:14:55):
They were horrible people. You know what. I prepared for
both sides. I said, I hope they're not horrible people.
But here's my advice. If they are, cut them off.
We wanted, oh yeah, I don't want to guilty unto
I mean innocent until proven guilty. And they are guilty.

Speaker 2 (01:15:10):
They are guilty.

Speaker 7 (01:15:11):
Everyone who was like they're a holes, you were right,
feel vindicated. Say I told you so. In the chat.

Speaker 4 (01:15:17):
We just wanted a good I just wanted to make it.

Speaker 7 (01:15:19):
Yeah. I just was happy that we were on a
streak of good stories. I'm sorry you could totally cut
these people off.

Speaker 2 (01:15:27):
Put the camera on me. Oh, it's on you.

Speaker 9 (01:15:29):
I was wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:15:33):
I was wrong.

Speaker 9 (01:15:36):
My my naivety, my innocence consistently chipped away. I read it.

Speaker 7 (01:15:47):
I was okay, okay, in this scenario, they freaking did
not help you, and they knew that you weren't. So
I feel like you totally have a right to cut
them off. You don't even I don't even think that
you necessarily even like have to like be like, oh,
I just don't want you to babysit. You can go
low contact with these people. That's insane behavior. That's insane behavior.

Speaker 9 (01:16:07):
And digital Alex got creamed. I got creamed. I'm not
gonna pretend that I got I prepared.

Speaker 2 (01:16:12):
For both wrong.

Speaker 7 (01:16:14):
I just want to say I prepared.

Speaker 8 (01:16:15):
For in people not being villains. I can't make that assumption. However,
conversations were still made.

Speaker 7 (01:16:24):
Assumptions were made, and we had a conversation, and when
assumptions were still made, we got to the bottom of it.

Speaker 8 (01:16:30):
And we finally got to that I'm still against making
decisions without confirming assumptions. Assumptions did happen to be confirmed. Yeah,
but but you checked them finally.

Speaker 7 (01:16:42):
Do you think it's really I still think it's funny
that OP was like yeah, and they like left me
at the bottom of the stairs injured, and Fiona was
it her name, and she was like, yeah, I was
in the garden for thirty minutes. I still think that's funny,
I said, I think it's funny that Opie was like, yeah,
they left me at the bottom of the stairs, ignor
toward me. And I was like, I had a head,

(01:17:02):
like a head injury and be honest, like I was
in the garden forty minutes. No one, no one said
high or nothing.

Speaker 9 (01:17:13):
Well, everyone, I'm still processing.

Speaker 2 (01:17:17):
Chat.

Speaker 7 (01:17:17):
You gotta read that story. Let's find out what you did. Chat.

Speaker 3 (01:17:19):
You were right.

Speaker 9 (01:17:20):
I was running.

Speaker 2 (01:17:22):
I never I'm mad at the parent. Someone clip it suck.

Speaker 8 (01:17:30):
Okay, mother, and I'm gonna say it again for everyone.
Mother in law says she didn't care about it in
the moment and assumed I'd be fine because if I
was crying, I was alive.

Speaker 7 (01:17:41):
Ah, they're evil.

Speaker 2 (01:17:45):
What the hell are evil?

Speaker 7 (01:17:47):
They're evil? We said, Oh, we hope they're not evil.
They're evil.

Speaker 8 (01:17:51):
It defended you so much and you threw it away
it away. I was taken aback by her response and
honestly took everything in me to not storm off I'm
about to storm off story damn show ah.

Speaker 9 (01:18:09):
Sorry.

Speaker 8 (01:18:10):
My boyfriend told her that that was a callous answer
and not all problems, specifically medical, are immediately present, and
how I still had to go to the hospital hospital
afterwards due to him and injury. Father in law stopped
him and said they thought the baby had fell out
the crib slash crib had fallen over, which is why

(01:18:31):
they went to him after he started crying again. What
Sophia said, two people.

Speaker 7 (01:18:35):
Yeah, two people, come on, that's a one person job.

Speaker 8 (01:18:39):
I said, I understood that, but it would take maybe
ten seconds to check and see.

Speaker 9 (01:18:44):
He was okay, what were they doing for the other
ten minutes? She's like crying.

Speaker 2 (01:18:49):
She's like oh, and they're like, oh, she's you need
her to like extra calm.

Speaker 7 (01:18:53):
They're doing that TikTok trend where it's like it's like
a bunch of people surrounding a baby and they're like
crying again. I'm was like, and then they like go
back and you guys don't want.

Speaker 2 (01:19:04):
To tech know, well that seems curious.

Speaker 7 (01:19:06):
It's like all the lights are on the baby and
the baby's like what and they're like saying, and then
it goes back and then all the.

Speaker 8 (01:19:11):
Thank yous racers. It's still a crazy thing to assume,
because it is crazy.

Speaker 7 (01:19:15):
It's crazy. This is crazy.

Speaker 8 (01:19:18):
Unfortunately, we didn't really get anywhere regarding the stairs as incident.
They both believe they didn't do much wrong. Is most
mothers don't have a support system like us, So now
they're like gaslighting tho.

Speaker 7 (01:19:29):
Yea, it's just like most mothers don't have a support system. Yeah,
that would come after ten minutes.

Speaker 8 (01:19:36):
Most mothers would have a crying baby and be down
the stairs.

Speaker 7 (01:19:39):
Yeah you're welcome.

Speaker 9 (01:19:40):
You had not a crying baby anymore.

Speaker 7 (01:19:42):
Yeah, just you crying, Just you broken.

Speaker 8 (01:19:46):
I told them that I'm not comfortable with them taking
care of the babies. They can't understand why what they
did was upsetting and wrong.

Speaker 7 (01:19:51):
I'm not comfortable with having them in my life anymore.
Most complete sense, they alsocial paths.

Speaker 8 (01:19:57):
On the positive side, I guess I now understand my
and Law's motivations a bit more.

Speaker 9 (01:20:01):
It explains a lot about her character's evil villain behavior.

Speaker 8 (01:20:06):
Yeah, it explains a lot about her character. We were
not going no contact or low contract at all, and
they could still come over for visits.

Speaker 2 (01:20:14):
But I've told my boyfriend.

Speaker 9 (01:20:16):
He also needs to be there, as they seemed to
listen to him and not meet.

Speaker 7 (01:20:19):
I think they're more forgiving than I would.

Speaker 2 (01:20:20):
Be, honestly.

Speaker 7 (01:20:22):
Yeah. Yeah, and that's going from Alex.

Speaker 3 (01:20:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:20:25):
They just said, they said, we didn't care. We heard
you crying, so you were alive.

Speaker 2 (01:20:31):
What I don't know, Stella Pad, we're not divorced with okay,
but you're changing last name.

Speaker 8 (01:20:38):
Before the therapy. Stella Pain just divorced Alex live. That
is what happened. That is literally what happened.

Speaker 2 (01:20:45):
I'll take it. Yeah, damn, this is crazy.

Speaker 9 (01:20:48):
I respect the decision.

Speaker 2 (01:20:50):
All right.

Speaker 9 (01:20:51):
So that's the update.

Speaker 8 (01:20:52):
Thank you for reading, and thank you Morgan for reading
my posts and giving advice.

Speaker 2 (01:20:57):
Who's I don't know who is?

Speaker 8 (01:20:58):
By the way, you can and listen to full episodes
with stories like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
or your new favorite podcast app and search.

Speaker 9 (01:21:07):
Okay, story time.

Speaker 4 (01:21:08):
It's so bad when you guys read it.

Speaker 7 (01:21:10):
There, I know, but there is a little bit left,
and I think I've said all of my thoughts, so
let's just get into it.

Speaker 9 (01:21:18):
Jesus josephin.

Speaker 8 (01:21:20):
Okay, there's another relevant update, but let's discuss edit. I'm
logging off, but before I go, I just want to
say that I have no issue with standing up for myself.
There's a lot of nuanced and personal details I left out,
but we have our reasons for not going low contact
no contact with mother in law and father in law.
People seem to think that because I have the capability
to understand empathize with my mother in law's pass abuse,
that I'm letting it slide.

Speaker 2 (01:21:41):
I am not.

Speaker 8 (01:21:42):
That is what Reddit always assumes. Yes, I simply said
it explains her better. I don't really know what I expected.
I thought this this subs users would be different from
most other subs because of how nice the comments are
on YouTube. Be guess I was wrong. I guess I
was wrong too. Won't be coming back here?

Speaker 2 (01:21:57):
Well, come to us?

Speaker 7 (01:21:59):
I love.

Speaker 9 (01:22:00):
I was like groasted the subreddit before she left.

Speaker 7 (01:22:04):
She's like, you get forget suck. Our subreddit is so
much better, so much better. Jane Digital says no update
about Fiona. She might still be in the garden, guys.

Speaker 9 (01:22:15):
Funny

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