My girlfriend has so much DEBT… and I feel like she’s hiding more! r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP2314 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dearest John, It's been a fortnight since I felt your
warm embrace.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay
Storytell podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious
story that I think you'll love.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
Sincerely Sam.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
But before that, thine divine two minute at break must happen.
I bid thee farewell, see you in two minutes. My
girlfriend has so much debt and I feel like she's
hiding more.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
Uh oh, drowning in debt. Shall throw her a little
life preserver.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Me and my girlfriend have been together for two years.
We live in my house seventy thousand of debt left
fifteen year mortgage. I'm a sole owner on the house
and she only pays one hundred and fifty bucks to
help towards utilities as my request. A few days ago,
I was talking to my thirty female girlfriend thirty two
female and jokingly said, do you have any secret debt
that I'll find out about when we get married. She

(00:47):
said she doesn't have any debt that she always makes
sure she repays the minimum credit card amounts. I laughed
and said that credit card repayments are debt, and she
says no, because she is paying towards it if I
pay it no debt. By the way, this comes from
Purple A Data And if you want to make your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subred.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
I was shocked and how she could be so wrong,
and how financially ignorant she is.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
We're in the process of starting our NHS fertility journey
and we have an appointment soon, and I have been
saving for a while because I'm pretty sure we'll have
to go privates as a same Spicy Sleep couple.

Speaker 3 (01:20):
I asked her to.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Save money for a baby fun too, and she started
saving twenty pounds a week, which.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
I know she spent part of already.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
She doesn't have any saving so they asked her if
she knows how much debt she's in.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
Do you have an estimate? Is it five hundred one thousand,
five thousand? Yeah, something like that, something like what? Oh,
like like one of those numbers. I don't think she's
hiding anything from me. I think she just doesn't realize
what debt really means. She thought I only meant money.
She stopped paying, which is insane. She was supposed to
according to her move her credit card debts to a

(01:54):
zero percent credit card, but the pin to register didn't
work or something like that, and she's weighed for a
new one.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
When did you register? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
When I went to see my family. That was last November.
I know I've been busy. Okay, you don't have to
tell me, But for your own good, can you please
check how much you owe for each card and the
interest of each I don't have access to XX account
because of blah blah blah. Okay, what about the other
two credit cards? Well, I don't use the app. But
do you have an app that you can log into

(02:22):
and check? Yeah, but I don't use it. Why don't
you check it?

Speaker 4 (02:25):
Then?

Speaker 3 (02:25):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
At that point I had to leave the room because
I didn't want to be mean. She says that she's
sure her debt is less than two thousand, but honestly,
I don't believe her anymore unless I see it with
my own eyes. But also she has her right to
not discuss it with me. I just mentioned that once
we got married, her debt is my debt too, so
I really need to know.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
She's financially stable, slash educated.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
She has ADHD and is bad at timekeeping and money spending.
But I didn't know it was that bad, and now
I worry if this is something that can break the relationship.
She started crying, saying, is this why you don't want
to marry me? I just don't like to be the
center of attention. And now I've left the house to
get some mayor, and I know she's crying in the
living room. Am I being irrational? Have I pushed her

(03:07):
too much? How should I approach things next time we talk?
And how can I help her with debt?

Speaker 3 (03:12):
We have an edit? Thank you all so much for
your advice.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
I sat down with her again and talked for a
long time about why this is important and why she
needs to tackle the issue asap. She told me she
wants to be better with money and not have that
weight on her shoulders anymore, and asked if I can
help her. I explained to her that we could check
her debt on clearscore. Thanks for the recommendation, and she agreed.
She registered and it turns out that she has five
credit cards and eight grand in debt.

Speaker 3 (03:34):
Honestly, it's not that bad. I am very relieved.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
It's not like bankruptcy, declaring I was thinking like like
thirty fifty eighty plus plus plus, and we've read stories
that people like two hundred grand credit card debt. It
gave me a mini heart attack, but I didn't show
it as I didn't want her to feel ashamed. And
she asked me, is this something doable? Then I said yeah,
but it will take you a bit longer than you said.

(03:58):
Two to three years might be more realistic than the
end of the year, as you said. She told me
she's going to give me her credit cards and give
me access to all her accounts so I can track
where the money's going. I'm a budgeting break. We'll have
a financial meeting every fortnights. She also will transfer five
thousand of the debt, the one with the highest interest,
to a zero percent interest card she opened and then ignored.
Baby fund is obviously passed away now, but I think

(04:19):
this has been a big wake up call for her,
as her dream has always been to be a mom,
and she realized it won't happen if this doesn't get sorted.
The good thing, if I can call it that, is
that she wasn't lying to me, and she honestly didn't
know she was in so much debt, as after a
certain amount, she got anxious and didn't check, but she
has never missed a payment at least. We have some
comments from Reditt recluse, Oh boy, just a remind her

(04:39):
that marriage is a huge financial commitment to another person.
It's not just a I love her, or it's a
what are we supposed to do? Really think hard if
you want to be strongly financially linked with someone who
doesn't know that credit.

Speaker 5 (04:50):
Card debt is debt.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
Willith says, I think this is more a relationship advice
question than i financial one. You clearly know what you're
talking about, but she's understandably quite anxious and ashamed avoidan
about the topic. How you approach this is all about
your relationship and how you navigate it. I would try
to position it as you and her against the problem.
You have skills, you can help her out, and you
can do it together and she can lean on you.
Anything that feels more like you're judging her for getting

(05:13):
into debt in the first place or incredulous because she
doesn't understand, is just going to come across like criticism
and be upsetting. This isn't I need to fix you,
It's a we can do this together and all these
great things. It needs to be done with the consequences
of not having debt rather than the consequences of having it.
So three months ago I posted here asking for some
vice about my girlfriend's debt.

Speaker 3 (05:30):
Summarize.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
Three months ago, I realized my girlfriend not only was
completely financially illiterate, i e. She had no idea that
paying a credit card was being in debt. She thought
that it was more like a big mortgage I know.
But also she was in credit card debt and she
didn't even know how much she owed, as she was
very ashamed of in denial.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
She had five credit cards.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
I was only aware of two, and not because she
was hiding them, but because they never came up in
conversation and was making minimum payments on all of them.
Thanks to your advice here, I signed in a clear
score to check how much that she was on two
hundred and fifty bucks all in with thirty plus percent
interest cards. My disappointment in her was her wake up call.
I am extremely money savvy, and I have savings to
cover her debt if needed, but I've worked hard for

(06:08):
it and I have made sacrifices, so it would have
seemed unfair. She never asked me to. For the record,
she would also never learn that way. So I told
her I'd help her by teaching her about finances, looking
for better options to transfer the debt, et cetera.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
But the money.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
Sacrifice would have to be hers. She's living rent free
except for one hundred and fifty bucks a month in
utilities in Opie's house.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
Like, yeah, so she was a sweet deal.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
Yeah, which I mean like if she had any kind
of income, she should, like it could should all go
towards paying off that debt.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
Started by creating a version of the budgeting spreadsheet I
used for my finances, but she didn't know how much
she spent on different things. At first, I'd go through
her bank account with her and tell her where to
write every transaction twice a week.

Speaker 3 (06:46):
After a while, she.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
Can't believe that Opie is having to, like, baby someone
about finances this much. It's kind of crazy, Like is
someone like that ready to be a parent?

Speaker 2 (06:55):
That is honestly, because it's like it's not, it's really
to me, not just the it's that that's a tip
of the iceberg. Yeah, and what else in there exists?
But it's like all the terrible finance shows right where
they come on. They're like, oh, yeah, I have like
six hundred grand in debt and I've never paid it.
After a while, she was doing it weekly by herself,
updating the spreadsheet while I updated my own spreadsheet. We
call them financial meetings and we have a nice tea

(07:17):
while doing it.

Speaker 3 (07:18):
That's so cute.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
After two months, we could see a pattern and tackle
where the money goes. For example, she was subscribed to Prime, Netflix,
Apple to be Disney blased now TV, and we basically
only watched Disney where I get a free thanks to
Alloyd's Perk and Netflix, so she canceled everything else.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
Very smart.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
She also transferred most of the debt to a zero
percent interest card, the debt with the highest interest, and
stop spending money on unnecessary things. Also, I know that
you're supposed to tackle the debt first before saving, but
I wanted her to have a little satisfaction of watching
her savings grow, which were previously zero, and getting her
into the habit of saving for her future. So every month,
on payday, I recommended her to send money to her

(07:53):
savings account and leaving it there and pay for her
credit card debt. So she knows how much she has
for the rest of the month. There's also tricks for
unnecessary spending, like she gave me all her credit cards
so she can't use them, deactivated Google pay, and cocktactless
payment so she has to physically introduce the card and
type the pinup.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Warren Buffett did this thing where he kept a journal
and every dollar that he spent he would write, write
it down in the journal and tally it up to like, actually, assess, Okay,
how much how much do I actually spend?

Speaker 3 (08:23):
Makes you think? Guys? Makes you thank thanks billionaire?

Speaker 1 (08:26):
Come on, you can track into how much you know,
Coca cola?

Speaker 3 (08:30):
Yeah, that day? How much oreo is he's eaten?

Speaker 6 (08:32):
Ye?

Speaker 2 (08:32):
This slight inconvenience makes her more conscious of the money
she's spending, et cetera, et cetera. The results, well, in
three months, not only has her debt not increased like
it was the trend before, but it's gone down to
seven thousand dollars, and considering she's low income right now,
I'm extremely proud. She's also put around seventeen hundred into
tackling her debt, although because only now we've managed to

(08:53):
transfer her debt to a zero percent interest card. The
high interests eate a lot of that, and her savings
are four hundred pounds. Seeing that if she wasn't in
debt right now, she would have twenty one hundred right
at this moment makes her even more willing.

Speaker 3 (09:06):
To clear this debt hope.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
He says, I just wanted to let people know, especially
people with partners that seem a bit irresponsible with money,
that changes possible, but they also need support and trust
and patience. I'm extremely proud of her and she's on
the path of clearing everything way before Christmas twenty twenty six,
which is the goal that I set for her. Also edit,
thank you for the good vibes after we felt something
very valuable and sharing, and thank you for the encouragement

(09:29):
and for sharing your own experiences, knowing that other couples
have been in our shoes and came out stronger, so reassuring,
and my girlfriend is over the moon with the support
and nice words. We'll get some quick comments. Daiam Aam
says you sound like a great partner, Opee, and it
seems like your girlfriend really wants to sort this out
and learn about finances now.

Speaker 3 (09:45):
All the best of your future. View.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Sir Abde eighty five says, what a great up date.
I remember your original post. When I saw the new post,
I fear the worst. Well done you both, and Hope
says thank you. She's not on ritits, but I showed
her the original post, even the mean ones. She cried
up with that one and found the comments that wanted
to give her real advice a useful. I'll show her
these ones too tonight for a bit of validation, because
she deserves a bit of recognition. She changed her habits,
which are really hard to change overnight. And it also

(10:07):
took some patience from me, because sometimes at the beginning
I just wanted to shout, how.

Speaker 3 (10:11):
Do you not know about this?

Speaker 5 (10:12):
Or why would you do this?

Speaker 2 (10:13):
Patience and understanding is key, but also not letting them
play you. I told her a few times, ADHD in
your family background is an explanation of why it happened,
but not an excuse to never let it happen.

Speaker 3 (10:23):
Oh good, great, let's go that. You know what that is?

Speaker 1 (10:26):
What that is called growth and that is something we
love to see. Yes, financial growth, financial growth, all the ways.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
My wife says she had a therapy session, but I
caught her cheating.

Speaker 3 (10:37):
She was having an emotional affair with a therapist.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
Oohul, that could be I thirty seven male caught my
wife cast thirty two female cheating on me.

Speaker 5 (10:47):
We were married in twenty eighteen.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
We met a few years before that through business because
we are in the same industry. By the way, this
comes from popular problem of four five sixty five and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay storytime sory aout it. So the
reason I married her was because I had major turmoil
in my life. Great reason to marry someone.

Speaker 4 (11:05):
That doesn't sound like normal reasoning. But she stuck with me. Okay,
but she stuck with me.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
We had a small break before we got back together.
When we started talking again, I found out my father
was going to jail.

Speaker 3 (11:19):
Congratulations. Oh no.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
The terrible part is my father had custody of my
nephew Liam for Mayle at this time. I was the
only family member able to take him on because my
brother was also currently in jail.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
My god, well, I think on a real level, now,
congratulations that you're not in jail.

Speaker 5 (11:37):
Yes, there it goes.

Speaker 3 (11:38):
It seems like it runs around in the family. A
little bit through this, she said we would do this together.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
I knew I wanted to marry her right then and there,
so I asked her to marry me on a weekend,
and then we found out that she was miraculously pregnant
the following week.

Speaker 3 (11:53):
Sounds a little too good to be true.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
Miraculous we went from just talking again to a family
in no time. We were married in twenty eighteen, and
everything was great.

Speaker 4 (12:05):
Teaches and creams, so beautiful as far as the eyes
can see.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
Fast forward to twenty twenty one. We moved States because
I had to take a new job because our business
was derailed by the VID. This new job required me
to travel a lot, and she wanted to be close
to her family for help with our three kids. We
had two beautiful girls on top of my nephew. Cass
had to quit her last job and worked locally with family.

(12:30):
She hated being home because her family was full of
constant judgment and asks when help was needed from them.
It was like pulling teeth. It honestly pulled us down
and reminded her why she left the first time. Now
her old employer asked her back, but this job was
four hours away and without really discussing it extensively like
a couple should. It required her to be gone during

(12:51):
the week. Okay, it happened, right, I think this could
be doable. This could be doable. She was going to
work this into a remote position. But as she started
the job, she started to like being away. Put an
icee you in the chat if you see. She left

(13:13):
me to take care of the kids, which I love,
but it was hard and I felt abandoned. I still
traveled two days a week and had to rely on
and deal with her family, not to mention all the
duties of taking care of our three kids. She would
come home on the weekends and it would be fight
after fight. I wanted to needed help, but when she
came home, she would hardly want to hang out with us. Instead,

(13:33):
she'd go out with her brother and her friends. The
business we are in is primarily male. She started being
distant and we were hardly having spicy sleep anymore.

Speaker 3 (13:43):
Well, one of you was hardly having spicy sleeping. Oh,
don't say it, don't say it. Down long it oh God.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
But last summer we moved to where she was working.
Her time there changed her. She is a beautiful, tall,
blonde hm, who else fits that description? In this room
sitting next to me in a blue chair, me key
On constantly getting hit on by her male coworkers and customers.

(14:12):
She had a coworker, Seth thirty three mail, who I
knew before from being in the same industry.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
I liked him.

Speaker 2 (14:18):
I never felt threatened by him because all dealings with
him had been good. He put out there that he
was a moral man. As far as I could tell,
I did not feel threatened because he was not Cass's type.
After we moved, I tried everything I could to make
Cass happy, listening, emotionally, supporting, complimenting, and taking on any
household task to try to make an effort, but.

Speaker 3 (14:39):
To no avail.

Speaker 5 (14:39):
He needs to do more, Dakota.

Speaker 4 (14:41):
You need to disguise yourself as the man she's boinking.

Speaker 5 (14:45):
Hmmm, brilliant. Now what I did was never good enough.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
We finally got to a point where we both agreed
that therapy was our best option.

Speaker 3 (14:53):
Are you sure about that? Are you sure about that?

Speaker 5 (14:55):
Are you sure?

Speaker 3 (14:56):
We agreed on individual therapy first.

Speaker 2 (14:59):
She found an online therapist, which I thought wasn't the best,
but it was what she wanted to do. One day,
She asked me what my plans were later in the week,
and I told her I didn't have to travel and
I would be working from home. She asked if I
could work from a coffee shop that day because she
wanted space lock in. She wanted to work from home
that day and had a therapy session, so I said sure.

(15:20):
We've always shared a location due to safety. A few
times had reached a weeks her location would randomly turn off.
She said it was an issue with her phone. The
day she had her session in the afternoon, she made
sure my location was working and called me to make sure.
I felt it was suspicious. I asked her if everything
was okay, and she said yes. I turned off my

(15:41):
location in fifteen minutes before her session. She asked why
it wasn't working. Oh, that was brilliant. That was he
turns off the location and she right before the session
and she magically massages m Yeah.

Speaker 3 (15:55):
Seems to know, like, hmm hmm, what's up? What's up
with my location?

Speaker 2 (15:59):
So I told her my phone must have had the
same issue as hers. She asked if I was still
at the coffee shop and I said yes. She said
I could come back in two hours. My spider senses
went off.

Speaker 4 (16:11):
Yeah, because it's probably the most suspicious thing someone could
ask you.

Speaker 3 (16:16):
Oh, I don't know exactly where you are anymore, right as.

Speaker 5 (16:19):
As of the second as of fifteen minutes ago.

Speaker 3 (16:21):
Don't come home for two hours, okay.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
So I left the coffee shop as I could see
her location was not at the house. I drove back
and parked down the street. Five minutes later, I saw
Seth and Cass both get out and walk into the house.
It was obvious that she wasn't going to therapy. Well,
a therapy of a different sense. You know, Seth, you
don't know him. He could be a wonderful therapist.

Speaker 4 (16:47):
He has questionable methods, but he's a professional stress relief,
consummate professional.

Speaker 7 (16:53):
I was going to say, something's therapeutic going on over there,
or maybe he's a consummating professional.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
Well, now it was obvious she wasn't going to therapy.
I waited for ten minutes as my heart was beating
uncontrollably and the thought of what I would find in
there and how it would ruin me.

Speaker 5 (17:09):
But I had to know. So I walked in and
there was no one in the living room.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
There's no reason a man that cast works with should
be in any other room. I made it to our
bedroom and opened the door to find them about to
do the deat.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
Oh it do what it looks like? We were just
playing dominoes.

Speaker 5 (17:30):
All no, no, no.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
He was about to say, how does that make you feel?
And it's crazy because it works both ways. It works
both ways.

Speaker 4 (17:38):
He's just an A plus therapist, yeah except for one issue.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
To Coda, he was but a naked oh no, on
my bed with her almost there.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
I looked at her and yelled, is this a new
type of therapy? And then both of them went, eh,
that's fun.

Speaker 5 (18:00):
Ope, he's got jokes.

Speaker 3 (18:01):
He's got jokes. In the heat of the moment, he's
got jokes.

Speaker 2 (18:05):
Both of them had utter shock on their faces. She
ran after me, trying to say it wasn't what it
looks like. Seth exited at as quickly as he could
as Cass made sure that she was between us. I
tried to leave, but Cass was physically blocking me. All
I wanted to do was leave. I was a former
defensive lineman and used my old moves to evade her

(18:26):
rude without having to get physical.

Speaker 4 (18:28):
He chopped, he chopped, he just he hit with the discombobulation.
He spun out of that house before she even knew
what was going on.

Speaker 5 (18:37):
Now, once I got some of my car, she blocks
me from leaving.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
What what is she doing?

Speaker 2 (18:41):
In order to leave? I had to trick her like
I wanted to talk, but I sprinted to the car
and then took off. God wow, I think she broke
a nail trying to grab the door handles out of
speeding away.

Speaker 5 (18:52):
And we have an update.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
We're not even halfway through the saga, but I'm I'm
very glad because we need a talk. Oh yes, sir,
my brother's in christ Ken. Let's start with you hit
me with it?

Speaker 3 (19:07):
What do you got?

Speaker 2 (19:08):
What's our next step? We literally just we drove away
with a fingernail in the door. What what do we
do immediately from here?

Speaker 5 (19:16):
What is?

Speaker 3 (19:16):
What is? What is your next step? First?

Speaker 7 (19:19):
I gotta give her props. I'm a ligneman or a
forward ligneman, and she blocked me the entire way. Can
we talk about that for like a quick second. That's crazy.

Speaker 3 (19:28):
I mean he's probably going like five percent.

Speaker 4 (19:31):
Let's be real, do you think he's going full game
speed at We need to stop talking sports. Literally, I
mean he said he put his moves on her, you know, hey, yeah,
but I think there's like a move. I imagine her
at the front door, like arms like against a door,
being like you can't leave, and then he just hit
her with like a whush and just like she's like.

Speaker 3 (19:53):
Wait, how are you now behind me? And like because
he just yeah, whatever. There's a lot of that kind
of stuff.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (20:00):
Yeah, my the fact that I just saw a naked
man on my bed, it's not what it looks like.
My brain's going and spirals in every direction.

Speaker 5 (20:12):
I just need to wind down.

Speaker 7 (20:13):
Yeah, calm myself, gather myself and just say, honey, I
think we're done. I think it's a divorce time.

Speaker 5 (20:21):
Yeah, that's that's too far.

Speaker 3 (20:23):
We need to beat. We need to beat thinking it
might be time for a little D vorce.

Speaker 4 (20:29):
Oh oh, the D she's been getting full time.

Speaker 3 (20:33):
She's about to get two d's. She's gonna get the
big D divorce.

Speaker 7 (20:37):
I don't need to question her anymore. I don't need
any more evidence. I saw with my two own eyes.

Speaker 4 (20:42):
Yeah, on my bed, But guys, this isn't what it
looks like.

Speaker 3 (20:46):
I just have a mole on my whatever part of
me he was looking.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
At They both have a mole and they both are
expecting each other to make sure.

Speaker 4 (20:53):
Yes, that is safe. Totally platonic mole examinations.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
I just didn't want to worry you. All right, boys
and girls, we have the updates. Let's get into it.

Speaker 3 (21:03):
Well, I'm scared, should be.

Speaker 8 (21:05):
I'm afraid.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
So while I was driving away, the first thing I
thought of were my kids. I immediately drove to their
school and picked them up. At this point, I was
getting bombarded with calls and text from her. I decided
to block her. My only thought of the situation was
where are my kids and where they going to be okay?
Even with what I just saw, I was still thinking
about what is best for them. Under my supervision and control,

(21:27):
I could make sure they were okay. Once I got
the kids, I drove to a family member two hours away.
This happened on a Friday, and I was able to
take a weekend and have time with just me and
the kids. During this drive, I started to get calls
from her mother, and she was our mediator. The only
thing I told her was to say the kids are safe.
I told her not to share anything else about our situation.

(21:49):
Mother in law agreed and told Casts that the kids
were safe. The only thing that brought out positivity were
the kids. We did a bunch of activities through the
weekend and had a great time together where their mom was.
I told them that this was a weekend for Daddy
to spend time with them. I still wanted to put
cast in a positive light and not to be and

(22:09):
not to be spiteful to their mother. The kids will
eventually make their own mind up. So some of my
close friends that had given me great advice in the
past have told me that I'm doing the right thing
by not acting rash.

Speaker 3 (22:19):
With the video.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
I could totally ruin her and seth, but what would
that do to my kids? So I guess there is
video evidence. I'm guessing maybe like a security camera or
something wonderful, or maybe he was recording video.

Speaker 4 (22:33):
If he was recording, or if maybe it's a video
of like the post confrontation, she's like trying to block
them fingernails in the car.

Speaker 3 (22:42):
Right, Clearly he's got something.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
I mean, he was fully aware of what he was
going into or knew it was going to be crazy.
It's highly possible he could have started recording before he
opened the door. Wow, it's a I.

Speaker 3 (22:54):
Yeah. That's going to be the giveaway. That's going to
be the getaway with it card for every now and
that's AI. It's a I yah.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
But regardless, I am going to be able to put
some stipulations on how we move forward one way or
the other, and I'm trying to figure out what those are.
I'm not trying to get back with her. I'm trying
to find the best way to move forward for our kids.
We have a second update.

Speaker 3 (23:16):
I think you should move forward without band together, yep.

Speaker 4 (23:20):
And you should move forward without outwardly hating each other
for the kids.

Speaker 3 (23:26):
Yeah, don't let the kids know about it.

Speaker 4 (23:30):
Yeah, hate each other in the silence of your own hearts.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (23:34):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
You need to divorce.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
Yeah, just divorce, bro. Just That's that's all there is,
straight up.

Speaker 4 (23:40):
Just divorce, divorce, and insulate the kids from it as
best as you can.

Speaker 5 (23:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
Update number two. Shit, I finally had to sit down
with casts. Both she and Seth went into defensive mode,
trying to protect themselves as much as they possibly could.
I guess Seth is now here too.

Speaker 3 (23:56):
I'm sorry she and Seth. Seth is he he've got.

Speaker 5 (24:01):
His pants true.

Speaker 3 (24:03):
Oh God.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
First off, Opie says, I did an at home paternity test.

Speaker 5 (24:07):
Okay, both of the children are indeed mine.

Speaker 3 (24:10):
Ten we school.

Speaker 5 (24:13):
There was some.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
Doubt based on what the Reddit community was saying, but
I got the truth when I arrived at the house.
The first thing that Cass wanted me to do was
give me a hug. I denied her. She doesn't get
to keep playing on my emotions anymore. I honestly felt nothing.
As she began to cry, I wanted the upper hand
of the conversation, so I let her go first. She
began by telling me how sorry she was and how
she can't get the image of my face out of

(24:36):
her head from when I walked in on her with Seth.
She said she had time to reflect on all the
good things and the strides I made recently and realized
that she was going a different direction in her head
no matter what I did. The situation has made her
realize what she did in having me as a partner.
We haven't been intimate as of late. She told me
that she was convinced that Seth would be a one

(24:57):
time thing to see if she could be intimate with
someone else.

Speaker 3 (25:01):
Buddy, suck. Who do you think I am?

Speaker 6 (25:05):
You?

Speaker 4 (25:05):
Oh boy, I think I'm the mayor of stupid town.
You think I'm the captain of the dumb dumbs. I'm
the team captain.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
She just wanted to try it to see if she
could do it once.

Speaker 3 (25:17):
That's it. Oh oh, once you did? You go? Do
you need to go back to kindergarten? Learn your numbers?
Because you didn't just do this once. There is zero
percent chance.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
I only did it this many times. I'm this, I
cheat this many.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
No no, no, no, no, no, no, no no. You've done this the
whole time.

Speaker 4 (25:33):
You've been weird about your location. You've been doing this
at the very least, at the very least.

Speaker 5 (25:37):
We shall see.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
She wanted to make sure that it wasn't just her
in her emotional state on why she couldn't be emotionally
and physically intimate with me. I didn't believe this for
one second. Yeah, she knew I had the video and
asked me what I was going to do with it.
With us being in the same industry, there were a
lot of implications that could happen, would ruin their reputations.

Speaker 5 (26:01):
Because her aunt seth there.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
I realized what she was saying earlier was a ploy
cass having these self absorbed person like tendencies.

Speaker 7 (26:12):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
It made me realize that's what she was worried about
the whole time, and there goes my plan. I related
to her that I don't believe her and that actions
speak louder than words. Her asking what I was going
to do with the video, told me that she was
really worried about it. She asked me not to implicate
Seth and his job because he had a family.

Speaker 4 (26:30):
Oh, family needs to find out about this now.

Speaker 3 (26:34):
Huh hmmm.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
It was her decision, and she convinced him to bring
him over and test to see if she could be
intimate again, which is complete.

Speaker 3 (26:43):
Bs's so cool. She's like, this was actually for you,
This was for me to for better wife for you.

Speaker 5 (26:49):
This was science.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
Yeah, I said, the moral man he is remembered, says
a moral man. Don't forget that he should have known better.
I understand what it's like to have a relationship with
somebody at work, but there are lines you don't cross.
He was in that bed too. I was pissed and
realized how little of a priority I was again with
my kids in mind, I need to make sure that
I'm taking the correct steps to protect them and myself.

(27:12):
I told her immediately that Seth needs to find another job.
With our industry being very small, he should be able
to find one very easily due to the experience that
you need. If he doesn't do this, this video is
going to his work and to his wife. She deserves
to know. Yeah, she said she couldn't ask him to
do that. I told her that this decision was both

(27:32):
of yours and how am I supposed to just let
everything go without consequences.

Speaker 5 (27:36):
The world doesn't work like that.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
She said that she and Seth are not on speaking
terms because of what had happened. He blames her for
what happened. I told her, you'll see him at work.
I'm sure you can pull him aside. Not my problem.
I then began to tell her that she needs to
go find a place immediately. She said she had no
place to go. I said, not my problem. I would
take the kids to my other family members, but their

(27:59):
school was close and I can't take them that far.
There's no immediate family where we live. I told her
that I have the upper hand due to the evidence.
Why would I be the one that would be forced
to leave, as well as Seth getting to keep his
job and his marriage. Intact, I did nothing wrong. I
didn't deserve this. She said she didn't know what to do,
and I said, that's not my problem. I explained to

(28:21):
her that self absorbed people's tendencies affected me mentally and
emotionally throughout our relationship. She needed to hear it because
self absorbed people think they never do anything wrong and
then they gaslight She needed to hear everything I had
to say in order to become a better person and
mother to our kids. But that's the extent of our

(28:41):
relationship moving forward. I told her I'm not your friend
anymore and not to bother me with any of her bs.
In the past, she knew I was a problem solver
and would use her problems to try to gaslight me.
I asked her to leave after and she had no response.
We are imminently approaching the end of this saga here.
I have to ask you, does it seem oh? He's like, yeah, again,

(29:06):
it's a little like scorched Earth without the early not
scorched darts, but like we're kind of in that territory because,
for example, he said, if Seth didn't get the job,
he would tell the wife and the work, but he's
not telling the wife if he gets a new job.

Speaker 3 (29:24):
I just I don't agree with that. Yeah, I think
clearly he was cheating on his wife.

Speaker 4 (29:30):
His wife should know that happened, that she's not just
living a lie.

Speaker 3 (29:34):
Yes, Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (29:36):
I think he just needs to talk to a lawyer
man at this point, honestly, because he's got all this
stuff and he's there's kids involved, and there's gonna be
a divorce, and it's like.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
Get a lawyer, do whatever the lawyer says to do.

Speaker 4 (29:50):
But from a morally speaking standpoint, tell his wife.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
Yeah, and you don't have to do anything with work.
Work will happen by itself. You not have to consider
yourself with the work.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
If if anything like and I mean he was more
talking about Seth's work, but I'm like, don't you want
your wife to have a stable income.

Speaker 3 (30:09):
To contribute to the future of the kid. I mean, yeah,
that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (30:14):
It's like, you don't want to just blow up the work.
That's always just like a uugh move. Yeah, unless you know,
unless they're a danger to the people around them, or like,
don't do that, Yeah, because it's just because guess what, now,
she's gonna probably be looking for a way to get
back at you, and then it'll happen again and again
and again and again.

Speaker 7 (30:34):
So just I would say, just make it the cut,
plain and simple divorce, Tell the wife and try and
stay out of it as much as you can, because
you want to put yourself in the wife's Seth Seth's
wife's situation as well, you would want to know.

Speaker 2 (30:49):
Too, exactly like he went to the house, Yeah, to
find out himself.

Speaker 7 (30:53):
So like who knows if they've done it at their
house and you know how long this been going on.
You don't need to put yourself in that. Just tell
the wife, let them deal with their situations and say bye,
you know you did this.

Speaker 5 (31:07):
One hundred percent.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
Agree have crimes or have punishments that fit the crime.

Speaker 5 (31:12):
Yeah, that's all, honor.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
That's a good book.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
Yeah, that's all I'm asking. Well, let's get into this
finale here. I plan to let Seth's wife know, and
I want Seth gone from the company first in order
not to affect my kids too much. I don't want
Cass's job to be in jeopardy. However, if they don't
do what I want, then that's their choice and they
know the consequence. Yeah, I feel he's doing too much

(31:35):
or he's doing too much. I have contacted a lawyer.
We meet in the middle of the week. He will
have it all laid out in front of him, even
things from the past of our relationship.

Speaker 5 (31:44):
We have a couple relevant comments.

Speaker 2 (31:46):
Comment number one, by the way, a friendly reminder that
revenge corn laws exist. I'm pretty sure that OPI's at
evidence quote unquote could be seen very differently in court.

Speaker 5 (31:55):
A reply. It depends on the state laws.

Speaker 2 (31:57):
But if you show the other person's spouse, it's not
under these laws against states defer. It's only illegal to
post them on Twitter only, pans or whatever platform. My
cousin did this with his wife and showed her a
fair partner's wife. She threatened to sue, but it didn't
hold up since she only showed the affair partner's wife.
Cousin had a clean divorce for the most part. Also, Yeah,

(32:20):
don't definitely don't send that to work. Yeah, you send
the evidence again, the work situation has nothing to do
with you, and it probably would look.

Speaker 4 (32:29):
Bad on you because a court would be like so
the mother of your children. You jeopardized her financial stability because.

Speaker 5 (32:39):
That because he didn't get punished.

Speaker 3 (32:41):
I was mad. Okay, that's not good.

Speaker 4 (32:45):
Yeah, so but to fit the crime, tell the wife
immediately shut up with the work stuff.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
Go tell the wife. Be Okay, hey it's Sam. We'll
get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of
ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (32:58):
My wife abandoned our family before our wedding, but now
she wants back in deal me in partner. My story
begins sixteen years ago when I met Lucy. She was
an amazing girl, intelligent, beautiful, fancy, funny, just the greatest
girl I ever met. I felt so lucky when we
started dating. By the way, this comes from user or

(33:19):
Ruby Rod Roby Rod Robbie Rod. There we go, and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash. Okay storytime subredd it. So after a
year into the relationship, we had a baby. I was
living the dream living with my girlfriend, raising our little daughter,
being a happy family. I loved Lucy so much, and
after some years we were finally getting married. Our daughter

(33:41):
was the most excited one about our wedding.

Speaker 3 (33:43):
She was going to be the flower girl.

Speaker 4 (33:46):
Everything seemed to be perfect, but looks not always as
they seem.

Speaker 3 (33:50):
Ooh do tell So.

Speaker 4 (33:52):
One day, when I was heading back home, a guy
wanted to talk with me. At first, I believed he
may want to sell me something until he met Lucy politely,
he asked me to talk in a private place. He
then asked me to please stop everything about the wedding
and step back, because he and Lucy wanted to be together.

Speaker 9 (34:11):
Oh at least he said please, So I didn't believe
him hmmm, until he started to tell me a lot
of details about Lucy that would be impossible to know.

Speaker 4 (34:23):
I returned home as fast as I could. I didn't
want this to be true and told her about it,
hoping it was all a mistake.

Speaker 3 (34:30):
But no, it wasn't.

Speaker 4 (34:31):
The next hour, she told me everything she'd been cheating
on me for the last two years. She told me
about how all the times she said she loved me,
that she wanted us to be together, and she loved
our family were all lies.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
In a moment of silence for this guy, real quick.

Speaker 4 (34:47):
Wow, all right, she told you your life is a lot.

Speaker 5 (34:51):
That's tough, partner.

Speaker 10 (34:53):
oOoOO.

Speaker 3 (34:54):
She then told me how her new man was younger
and stronger and handsome and a better love. Oh God,
this is a cartoon. The worst they can say is
no God.

Speaker 4 (35:04):
She said that she didn't want to be tied to
me now she lost her freedom for being a mother,
and she didn't want to be a wife, that she
wanted her freedom back. The final stab was when she
said she was happy that I finally knew and now
she was able.

Speaker 3 (35:17):
To leave speechless.

Speaker 4 (35:19):
Speechless, I cried, begged, humiliated myself, and got on my knees,
asking for another chance to try to fix our relationship.

Speaker 3 (35:27):
But she didn't want it.

Speaker 4 (35:29):
She wanted the thrill and excitement that this new guy
made her feel. By the next day, she left us.
My daughter was heartbroken. Oh her mother.

Speaker 3 (35:39):
Left and she believed it was her fault. Fortunately we
had help.

Speaker 4 (35:44):
My family and Lucy's family supported us in any way possible.
Her parents were so ashamed of their daughter's actions that
they couldn't look me in the face without apologizing for
everything she did.

Speaker 3 (35:55):
I will be in debt to everyone forever for all
their help. Fast forward or we're ten years later.

Speaker 5 (36:03):
WHOA.

Speaker 4 (36:04):
After lots of time and therapy, my daughter and I
are living happily. She is the light of my life,
a beautiful fifteen year old lady who I love.

Speaker 3 (36:14):
Our wounds are healed and we have a very good life. Hey,
but then no, she came back. She's back. Here we go.

Speaker 4 (36:22):
When my daughter and I were getting back home, we
found Lucy in front of our apartment waiting for us,
wanting to talk. I recognized her immediately, and I would
like to say that I did something cool, like ignoring
her or asking her to leave, or like at least
being hostile with her. But no, I'm an idiot. My
heart skipped to beat the moment I saw her. She

(36:42):
was still beautiful as before, but somehow she looked even better.
Maybe the age made her look mature and elegant. Maybe
the dress or the makeup. I don't know, but I
let her in while our daughter gave us some space
and went to her room. She told me everything she
did since she left. Basically, she lived with that guy
for a handful of years. She said how much she

(37:04):
enjoyed it, all the fun she got, and how she
believed those were the best years of her life until
she noticed that the excitement of that new relationship was
fading slowly.

Speaker 3 (37:14):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (37:14):
Did this idiot just realize? Like good things don't last forever? Like,
I'm sorry, Children learn but this concept when they're like
nine five, even younger. At some point, she started to
cheat on that guy too. According to her, she wanted
to feel alive and excited. Oh so at this point,
I'd be like, what are you doing here?

Speaker 3 (37:33):
Yeah? Why are you here? Why are you telling me this?

Speaker 2 (37:37):
But you know how painful it is to hear You'd
be like, oh so all these years and great life, Yeah,
it makes me feel like crap.

Speaker 5 (37:42):
And I finally like, is this sort of an idiot goose?

Speaker 3 (37:46):
Are the best years of my life? And I still
cheated on him? Do you want me back? By the way,
are you crazy?

Speaker 5 (37:54):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (37:54):
Oh my god, yes no.

Speaker 4 (37:56):
Eventually that relationship ended and she started dating other guys.
Every relationship became shorter than the previous one, until she
only had casual hookups. She also said that sometimes she
thought about us and our family, but she said she
was too proud to admit she made a mistake until
last year she got the VID and it hit her
really are to the point where she believed she could

(38:18):
pass away and realized how alone she was, how stupid
she was, and the mistake she made so long ago.

Speaker 3 (38:24):
Yep, right, glad you know that. Now go away. That's
perfectly times. Wow.

Speaker 5 (38:32):
Wow, I'm so glad we got that.

Speaker 10 (38:36):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (38:37):
That was another team effort.

Speaker 4 (38:39):
After all of that, she said she regretted everything she
did and said, and now she was ready to marry
me and be the family we were always meant to be.

Speaker 3 (38:48):
When she was done, I asked her to leave to
give me some time to think.

Speaker 4 (38:53):
I'm so mad that you need longer than a half
second to think about this, op dude. She accepted, saying
she would be back the next day. For years, I
dreamed about her coming back, and now it was happening,
but it just felt wrong. Since then, she visits almost daily,
wanting to talk about the best years of our relationship

(39:13):
and how we could be a happy family again. I
asked for help from my family and friends. Most of
them said I would be making the worst mistake of
my life if I took her back.

Speaker 3 (39:27):
That's correct. It's basically on a big.

Speaker 4 (39:30):
Flashing neon sign right in front of you, like a runaway.

Speaker 3 (39:38):
Others have said that I should give her a chance.

Speaker 4 (39:41):
It took me a lot to heal and some more
time to start making new relationships, and I would be
risking everything. One night, my daughter and I had a
deep conversation about all this. I always try to involve
her in every part of our life, and this issue
concerned her too, because it's her mother. Sometimes she surprises
me being so wise mature, because she told me, quote,

(40:02):
can you really love someone.

Speaker 3 (40:03):
That hurts us so much? And that was everything I
needed there. It is God from the.

Speaker 4 (40:07):
Mouth of babes and it was your babes, the one
you had with your ex wife, who should.

Speaker 3 (40:13):
Still be your ex wife.

Speaker 4 (40:15):
Yes, I would never forgive myself if I let her
hurt my daughter again. And I said that to Lucy
if she wants to be around or have a relationship
with our daughter, I'm okay with it only if my
daughter wants it.

Speaker 3 (40:28):
But I told her we are not getting back together.

Speaker 4 (40:31):
Lucy only said that she would make me fall in
love with her again and that she would not give up.

Speaker 3 (40:36):
And there's an update.

Speaker 10 (40:37):
Wow, John, John, what do you have to say about.

Speaker 3 (40:40):
This, Dade? What are we saying? This is okay? Like
we get stories where there's a little nuance.

Speaker 2 (40:47):
We get stories where we get to see the beautiful
and complex tapestry that is the human experience. This one
is as black and white and so and on a
billboard right in front of her face as it possibly
can be. And that billboard Reid's run. Here's the update.

(41:08):
We're gonna get into it. Let's go. Since the post,
she had been insisting on meeting. She wanted to talk.

Speaker 4 (41:14):
I decided to have one last talk with her and
set my boundaries.

Speaker 3 (41:18):
So we met in a public place. The talk was
long and hard.

Speaker 4 (41:22):
I wanted her to be honest, and I told her
the moment I caught a lie I was leaving, I
asked if she was really sorry or are we her
last option? M Did she really love us or are
we just a consolation prize? Did she come back for
love or because she was unable to find another man anymore.

(41:42):
She was unable to answer any of that. She only
said things like, it's not like that. You need to
understand me. I'm not like this anymore. She kept insisting
on giving her another chance, that we can love each
other again, that we could be together. She never even
mentioned our daughter at any moment. Only after I pointed
it out she started to mention her When I tried

(42:04):
to settle that we were over. She grabbed my hand,
and as some of you told me she would do,
she tried to seduce me. Uh oh, putting down her
what house, showing me her cleavage and saying we can
find a room so we can do something to compensate me.
What this is truly a person who doesn't understand how

(42:24):
to move through life in a non transactional fashion. Every
relationship she's in, she's like, oh, you're no longer giving
me that thing that I want.

Speaker 3 (42:32):
Because of that, I'm justified in leaving you.

Speaker 4 (42:35):
And she did that over and over and over again,
learned nothing, and came back to Opie.

Speaker 7 (42:40):
She said, I'm going to compensate you because I left
you and I've been cheating.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
Oh dude, compensate also crazy word crazy one. Yeah, just
just on top of everything all the other insanity.

Speaker 3 (42:55):
Just wow.

Speaker 4 (42:56):
So I didn't recognize that woman. She was not the
a I met, not the mother of my daughter. I
don't know who that woman was, but she wasn't my Lucy.
I told her to let me go and that we
were over. Neither I nor my daughter wanted anything to
do with her, so please leave us alone. We were
living a good life without her. She then went mad,

(43:18):
saying I couldn't leave her and that it wasn't my
choice and that she doesn't have anything else that I
can't take away her daughter.

Speaker 3 (43:25):
Dang, you should thought about that before you abandoned her
ten years ago hip and then did nothing for ten years. Yeah,
where was this energy? Crazy?

Speaker 4 (43:34):
I still don't know why, but the last sentence triggered me.
The next are not my exact words, but are close
to what I said at the moment. Quote your daughter daughter,
You are not her mother. You only gave birth to her,
but you are not your mother. Tell me where were
you when she was sick? Where were you when she

(43:55):
had a fever, which she was scared in the night,
when her first teeth fell out, when she cried in
the nights because she missed her mom? Where were you
on her first day of school, when she had her
first period, when she had her first boyfriend, when her
heart broke for the second time, because the first one
who broke.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
It was her mother?

Speaker 4 (44:13):
Which, dude, were you writing when she needed a mom
to have no right to claim you are her mother
because you never acted like that.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
Yes, Opie, that's the type of energy we should have
had the first time.

Speaker 3 (44:28):
But that's okay. That's okay because we have the energy now.
We got there. We got there. Yeah, stikes.

Speaker 4 (44:35):
She tried to reply, but I saw how she was
unable to find the words.

Speaker 3 (44:40):
I left her back at home.

Speaker 4 (44:42):
She sent me some texts asking for another meeting, for
another chance, saying.

Speaker 3 (44:46):
That she loves me and she can change, but I'm done.
You all were right.

Speaker 4 (44:50):
She doesn't love me or our daughter at all. She
only loves herself. Having her in my life would be
bad and talks. I don't need that and I don't
need her. My daughter and I are going back to
therapy soon. Some of you were right. I need to
work on myself, be stronger, and get over those feelings

(45:10):
for her, because they're not real, just a memory of
what I thought she was. A great place to erase
all those memories is the gym.

Speaker 5 (45:17):
My guy dacoded, Bro Dakota is ready to ready to
freaking lift me.

Speaker 4 (45:21):
I feel like I could, as a weak, relatively weak
individual who needs to go to the gym more. If
I read that sentence like three times in a row,
I could bench to fifty hulk just just from pure rage.
I could bench to fifty Up.

Speaker 3 (45:36):
There we go.

Speaker 6 (45:37):
I told my fiance about my past and she's not
happy about it. Let you get up to I twenty
six mail am a pretty successful graphic designer. I was
already working from home for a lot of projects for
a long time before everyone started self quarantining and practicing
social distancing.

Speaker 8 (45:54):
While I am.

Speaker 6 (45:55):
Definitely not part of the essential workforce, I have still
managed to find some work to keep me busy. By
the way, this comes from clown fo and if you
want to see your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay storytime subreddit. My fiance, twenty six female, has
been four load from work and as such has been
staying home with me, and we've been spending a lot
of quality time together. One night, we were having fun

(46:17):
and joking together and I jokingly said that everyone does
weird things for money when they're in school, like start
an Etsy or sell feet picks. She joked back and
fake accused me of selling substances. I told her it
wasn't anything illegal, elicit, nothing related to spicy sleep or substances,
but then accidentally let it slip that it was just

(46:38):
embarrassing to me personally. And then after a second, she
stopped laughing because.

Speaker 8 (46:43):
It became real.

Speaker 6 (46:44):
We talked about it, and I said, I didn't want
to talk about it because it's super embarrassing and it
isn't who I am at all.

Speaker 11 (46:51):
Ah, But now you've you've set it up like you
I'm only going to be thinking about this until you
tell me.

Speaker 6 (46:56):
She said that she understood and gave me my space
about it for couple of days. But after that couple
of days she seemed uncomfortable, and when I asked her
about it, she admitted she was concerned about what I
did for money.

Speaker 8 (47:09):
I told her it wasn't anything huge.

Speaker 6 (47:11):
I really just didn't want to talk about it, and
I wished her to respect that and to trust me,
but I could tell her not knowing was beginning to
genuinely upset her. That night, I thought long and hard
that this is the woman I want to marry, and
I should be open about my past. So relented and
told her the truth.

Speaker 8 (47:28):
I used to be a clown.

Speaker 6 (47:30):
She was unhappy that it was something I hit from her,
but it was a period of my life over the
course of two and a half months and about twelve parties.
She has been told to me since and That really
sucks because we have been spending a lot of time
together and we aren't really talking as much as we
have been. From what I understand, she's probably more upset
that I had to be pressed to tell her than

(47:52):
admit to her of my own volition, and I think
I may have violated her trust. Honestly, the clown thing
just never came up, because who talked about their part
time jobs from almost five years ago. It's not on
my resume and it was before we started dating. But
I did end up sitting down with her and telling
her everything. Now I'm so, so so scared that was

(48:12):
a mistake because of how she's acting now. She hasn't
told anyone, and though we haven't really argued either, But
now I'm wondering if I'm just reading into how she's
acting and obsessing over this new piece of information I
put into her world. It feels like there's a new
distance between us now. I wasn't hiding the fact that
I was a semi professional clown out of malice.

Speaker 8 (48:33):
I wasn't part of.

Speaker 6 (48:33):
Any unions or anything, just kind of a performer for hire,
but more out of embarrassment because it's far and away
from the type of work I do and the person
I am today. Honestly, it's not a dark period of
my life or anything, and I think the story itself
is interesting. I'm one of those types that think some
bad decisions can make good stories to a degree, but

(48:54):
it's not something I like to talk about because while
it is an objectively fun story, it doesn't have a
particularly good ending.

Speaker 8 (49:00):
My act was very specific and weird.

Speaker 6 (49:03):
Only two or three friends know about it, I think
because they were at the party where I got the
idea to perform as a clown for money, and I
literally just use the same costume from that party for
my All things considered, I was pretty successful for what
amounted to some weekend gigs. I didn't want it to
be something weird that would follow me for the rest
of my life, so I was secretive about it for

(49:25):
those couple of months. I was always paid in cash,
never checked, and this was before electronic payments were huge,
as in I didn't have Venmo or do PayPal. Surprisingly
made a few thousand dollars.

Speaker 3 (49:36):
Are we sure he's a clown? I mean.

Speaker 8 (49:40):
From twelve parties? Yeah, no, that's totally normal.

Speaker 11 (49:44):
Like, let's say he's making less than one hundred a day, Yeah,
like one hundred for each party.

Speaker 7 (49:48):
I need to know what he was doing as a clown,
because I did like a very specific thing as a clown,
Like what was there only so many things you can
get to a client.

Speaker 8 (49:55):
This man is a still walker.

Speaker 6 (49:56):
Two.

Speaker 8 (49:57):
I'm gonna have some choice.

Speaker 10 (50:00):
You buddy.

Speaker 6 (50:01):
That I had put towards some of the fun things
I own game systems, electric skateboard, et cetera. But I
stopped when that terrifying clown hoax of twenty sixteen was
happening and heard that people were getting ready to gang
up and beat up clowns. So I thought it was
best to cash out and hang up the clown costume,
so to speak. Also because I know it'll be asked
back in Uni. I was an athlete as well, kind of.

(50:23):
I was part of a martial arts club where we
would perform martial arts choreography at certain school events. It
was kind of like color Guard, but with the old
one tooing. When I told fiance this during our first
few months of dating, she made fun of me relentlessly
for days, but she ultimately thought it was kind of cool.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
Anyway.

Speaker 6 (50:42):
I put that athleticism in my act where I'd break
boards and do some parkour.

Speaker 8 (50:46):
Okay, I'd also do.

Speaker 6 (50:47):
Some clown stuff like smack myself in the face with
book cream and a dollar store of pie crust and
talk in a stupid voice and trip. It was fun
because I was making little kids laugh and impressing them
more than I was scaring Them's nothing embarrassing about this.

Speaker 3 (51:01):
That's like wholesome.

Speaker 10 (51:04):
You're honest, be like, oh you m'd be like, that's
so cool, so.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
Can you do it?

Speaker 6 (51:09):
Sometimes i'd get a parent involved and have them steal
my clown nose and run away, and I'd trip and
fall chasing them at first, which would set up the
parkour chase scene of my act after I put some
distance between us.

Speaker 8 (51:21):
By the way, it's.

Speaker 6 (51:22):
Hard to convince big dads that yes, I will absolutely
catch up to you and it will be much faster
than you think. The kids love the act, and I
learned I would generally get paid more if I involved
the family with plenty of warning beforehand of.

Speaker 8 (51:36):
What I was capable of. I never ever advertised to this.

Speaker 10 (51:40):
You should have. You should have. You would have made
so much more money.

Speaker 8 (51:43):
You could be doing this full timely.

Speaker 6 (51:45):
Yeah, this was just word of mouth, and I think
all of my clients knew each other in some way
and knew me as basically a friend of a friend.

Speaker 8 (51:53):
And we have an editor's note.

Speaker 6 (51:55):
Oh that includes some info on the clown sighting slash
panic of twenty sixteen. We have some relevant comments HDTV
one two three. Dude, why are you acting like being
a clown is on par with serial unlivings as a
part time job. I personally would have found that super
funny and endearing. I think your girl's reaction is really
weird and uncalled for Cranberry ninety four. I don't think

(52:17):
the girl is upset because he was a clown. I
think it's more that he wouldn't tell her and let
her imagination run wild, probably feeling anxious for days and
all for something so minor. If my fiance didn't trust
me enough that he refused to disclose that he was
a clown, I'd find that upsetting. Kujaichi, Yeah, let's be
honest with that build up. My first thought totally would

(52:39):
have been a spicy dancer and or callboy, and frankly,
I'd also probably been a bit put off by the
fact that he didn't just say it. But made me
think who knows what for days and everything. It's just
extremely weird. And Ope talks about how he got into
being a clown. Well, to be fair, I didn't do
it because I was hurting for money. It started out
as a favor to a friend that ended up snow

(53:00):
falling into a paying gig that paid for some fun
toys and knickknacks and a whole lot of pizzas. I
know that it wasn't her intent to make me feel
ashamed of it, and I don't hold it against her. Also,
the other comments have pointed out she basically might just
be getting stir crazy, which we have talked about happening.
And it's more that I did it for a short
period of time, and it was in a time of

(53:21):
my life in entrepreneurial twenty one year old where I
did a lot of dumb and weird crap. And I
attribute my brief stint as a clown as one of
the weirder ones that is largely unbelievable.

Speaker 8 (53:31):
Wow, so uh, I wasn't.

Speaker 6 (53:33):
Expecting this to blow up as much as it did,
or like at all. I have spent a lot of
my workday work from home, reading all the comments and
replies and tweets. Beyonce and I sat down and talked
about it. I told her about this post because I
was genuinely concerned about what I should do in this situation,
and I have a bad habit of making jokes about
bad situation sometimes.

Speaker 8 (53:54):
But we had a civil discussion.

Speaker 6 (53:55):
She told me that the reason she was acting distant
was because, like some of you said, he thought I
was lying about the clown thing, because.

Speaker 11 (54:02):
Why would she like you literally wouldn't tell her for
so long. She's like, he must be lying because there's
no reason he would keep that a secret.

Speaker 6 (54:08):
The reason I was embarrassed about it is because I
didn't fully commit to it. No matter how it is phrased,
telling someone you are a party clown for three months
either gets met with wow, that's cool or holy crap,
what a lie, And she, like so many of you,
went with the latter.

Speaker 8 (54:22):
So we talked about it like adult.

Speaker 6 (54:23):
I calmly explained that I was not lying, and that
the story is stupid and inconsequential, but the circumstance in
general of being a clown from start to finish is unbelievable.
In a way, I got the idea of being a
clown at a costume party. When a former friend told
a wasted me he thought my costume was fun and
that I should be a clown for his nephew's birthday party.
I thought he was joking until he actually contacted me

(54:46):
about it the next Saturday and said he'd pay me
one hundred to two hundred for the whole day.

Speaker 8 (54:51):
Being twenty one.

Speaker 6 (54:52):
That's a lot of scratch for being an idiot for
a bit. So I did it, and then it just
turned into a thing. I told her I stopped being
a because I didn't want it to get out that
I was one so publicly. And it was around the
time I kept seeing posts on Twitter and Tumblr about
people getting together to go hunt clowns, and I felt
that even if it was fake, the chance of it
being real and it happening to me was not really

(55:14):
one I wanted to take. It was fun for a bit.
If I had been a clown for like half a year,
I'd probably tell more people about it, But doing it
for a short period of time comes off as kind
of a lie. If you need proof, literally read half
the comments on this post. My fiance is not crazy
and high maintenance. She's normal, a little wild sometimes and
kind of cooped up here, but I love her all

(55:35):
the same anyway. She believes me, which I'm grateful for.
I apologize for not telling her sooner, and she apologized
for pressing me to talk about something so clearly weirdly polarizing.
Like really, this wasn't so much a post asking you
all to take sides in the matter, like you are
all so seemingly ready to do, but more like asking
advice on what I should do to try and bridge

(55:57):
the gap in communication. She still seems to have some ress,
so I promised her that I would try and do
my act for her in the park when the quarantine
is lifted. Yeah to hear, she asked me to do
it for her now, but I told her our apartment
is too small and filled with things that might break.
I talked to her in my clown voice, and she
hated it because she said it in her words, sounds

(56:19):
like goofy on speed. Thank you everyone, and we have
some final comments. I flapped twenty one says, Also, I
sense that it was probably more difficult for you to
come clean about this since when you told her about
the martial arts thing. Her first reaction was to mock
and ridicule you for days. I would honestly understand you
hesitating to open up that part of your life to
someone who is so willing and happy to make you

(56:40):
the butt of the joke. And Opie says, thank you,
you understand for us, it's water under the bridge. And
she has since apologized, and we watched martial arts movies
together sometimes at her suggestion, which is also another reason
among the list of many I asked her to marry me.

Speaker 8 (56:56):
Whoa quila earworm?

Speaker 6 (56:57):
Have you brought up to her that the fact that
she made fun of you relentlessly for doing martial arts
might have played a part in your reluctance to tell
her about this part of your life. If you want
to be trusted with information, you have to act in
a trustworthy manner. Opi says, this comment was actually really insightful,
and she read the comment and brought it up in
our conversation.

Speaker 8 (57:15):
Thank you for your input, truly.

Speaker 3 (57:17):
John here og host.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
We're going to get back to these stories, but a
quick three minute break from as from our sponsors.

Speaker 11 (57:22):
I chose my cat over my boyfriend, and I don't
regret a thing.

Speaker 8 (57:26):
Your cat's probably cooler and this.

Speaker 11 (57:28):
Comes directly from the Okay Storytime subpreated. It also trigger
warning for verbal and emotional I thirty female, left my
ex thirty one male we'll call him Leo, almost two
years ago.

Speaker 6 (57:38):
Now.

Speaker 11 (57:39):
The only thing I really regret the most is not
doing it sooner. We had met when I was seventeen
through my at the time boyfriend. They were coworkers that
became friends to some degree. When me and that guy
broke up, Leo was there for me. By the way,
this comes from far Priority eighty four to seventy two,
and if you want to spit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay Storytime suparate it. Eventually we
started dating back in twenty fourteen and things were good

(58:01):
for a few months. I should have ended the relationship then,
and if I had a time machine, I wouldn't have
even gotten with him in the first place. But I
was young, dumb, and the heart wanted what it wanted,
and I guess I felt like I deserved what happened
to some degree at the time. But hindside is twenty twenty,
so they say I caught him spicy texting with another female,
confronted him, and his excuse was. He did it because

(58:23):
he felt like I had cheated on him when I
went to stay with my best friend we'll call her
Kayla and her mom for a week, even though we
were going to come get him that weekend so we
could still spend the weekend together because he worked during
the week and Kayla lived out of town.

Speaker 10 (58:36):
During that week.

Speaker 11 (58:37):
He threw a witchfit, calling me, yelling at me, in
which Kayla took the phone from me and hung up
on him, so we didn't go get him that weekend.
Me and her had a blast hanging out, and I
returned home.

Speaker 10 (58:48):
The next week.

Speaker 11 (58:48):
I told him I didn't cheat on him because I
honestly hadn't and wouldn't, and he apologized, told me how
sorry he was and that he wouldn't ever do it again.

Speaker 10 (58:56):
But that was a lie.

Speaker 11 (58:57):
The relationship was on again, off again, and a lot.
He'd tell me some of his friends didn't like me,
that his parents didn't like me.

Speaker 10 (59:05):
Yes, I had met his family.

Speaker 11 (59:06):
His parents didn't speak English, so there was a bit
of a language barrier for me communicating with them, but
his siblings all spoke English and their parents' native language,
so they helped me when I needed to communicate with them,
although I never really did find out if they did
or didn't like me or how they felt about me
except from through their actions. And honestly, he didn't like
most of my friends and they didn't like him either.

(59:27):
I was friends with his friends and guys, but as
it turns out, most of the guys I was friends
with had crushes on me at one point or another.
But I was in a relationship, albeit on and off again,
with Leo, so those never went anywhere. And the few
friends I had that were girls that I really stayed
in contact with after high school didn't like the way
he treated me. He would try to be controlling over
who I hung out with, so I hardly got to

(59:48):
see my friends that were girls, and I didn't really
hang out with guys unless it was his friends, and
that was only when I was with him, and even
then I wouldn't do it all the time, which that
part I was fine with anyways. But I was definitely
not going to stop hanging out with my friends that
were girls just because he didn't like them. Good on euop,
because obviously this is not a healthy relationship.

Speaker 10 (01:00:06):
But it's good that you're not letting him, you know,
isolate you completely. Twenty sixteen rolls.

Speaker 11 (01:00:10):
Around and his family decides they are going to be
out of state. The day after or of I don't
really remember, we found out they were moving, so I
went with him back to his parents' place because him
and his whole family would be moving, to spend the
last few days with him and help him pack his stuff. Well,
a night or two before the day they were moving,
he got wasted, got upset with me while we were talking,
and things got messy. Right after that happened, he realized

(01:00:34):
that he lefft up. He started apologizing, and he knew
he was in the wrong one hundred percent. For some
odd stupid reason, I forgave him. We sat our goodbyes
to each other, but we agreed to still talk to
see about working things out and trying to do a
long distance relationship. It wasn't easy for either of us.
It was on again and off again. Because of that, now.

Speaker 8 (01:00:53):
You gotta be on off again.

Speaker 11 (01:00:55):
You gotta be so strong to go into a long
distain relationship. You gotta be so tight because it's hard.
Everyone I'd known who's done it, it's hard and takes
a lot of work. And if you guys are already
on and off again, and he's already really you know,
cheat on you. At that point, it's like, okay, we
got to call it.

Speaker 8 (01:01:16):
After a couple more.

Speaker 11 (01:01:17):
Years, he moved back to be with me because of
not being able to handle the long distance thing. We
live with my mom for a bit, and then my
mom moved. My oldest brother got the house and was
fixing it up while he and his family lived in
another place, so he let me and Leo rent the
house from him while he fixed it up. It was
our first time living on our own together, and things
were good for a while. I was doing everything we
could to save up to eventually get our own place

(01:01:39):
for when my brother was done fixing the house up
and they could move in. We'd move out at that time,
until things took a hard turn. We had gotten into
a literally tiny argument when we went to go do laundry,
and I thought we had fixed that issue because I
had apologized. Turns out I was wrong because he held
on to that anger he had from the argument, which
is not your fault because he's holding a grudge and

(01:02:00):
not talking to you about him. After we were back home,
he got on his game with some of his friends
and started drinking. They were having a good time at
first until he kept drinking where he got blackout wasted.
Then his anger switch whipped took it out on his friends,
and when I got back in the room, I tried
calming him down until he started talking crap about my family,
which I knew he didn't mean. So he started talking

(01:02:22):
crap about me and it got messy again. Neighbors saw
through the window and thankfully called the cops. At that time,
I was pissed because the cops broke the front door,
but at the time they showed up, I had calmed
him down and he was finally starting to come out
from being blackout wasted.

Speaker 10 (01:02:37):
I packed some stuff and went to stay with Kayla.

Speaker 11 (01:02:39):
Leo spent some time in the wasted tank and eventually
got out, so he got arrested.

Speaker 8 (01:02:43):
Dang, yeah, break up.

Speaker 10 (01:02:45):
Break up.

Speaker 11 (01:02:45):
If your partner's getting arrested based off an argument that
your neighbors overheard.

Speaker 10 (01:02:49):
Absolutely break up.

Speaker 11 (01:02:50):
My brother told me we had to move out, so
I decided to move in with Kayla and her mom.
Leo went to stay with one of his friends. Don't
ask me why, but I helped get him out of
try with the law for what he had done. I
still loved him at the time and didn't believe that
what he did was really hisself.

Speaker 10 (01:03:05):
At the time, he was wasted af again.

Speaker 11 (01:03:08):
Me and Leo still talked and saw each other when
we could and worked on things yet again. Then he
decided he wanted to move back in with his parents,
and he wanted me to come to don't don't don't,
at least that's what he told me at the time.
Later he would claim he should have left me back
in my home state. So I moved with him to
a different state, away from all my family and friends,
and here comes the isolation. My only friends were his

(01:03:31):
sisters and my cat Garfield, who I had raised since
he was a baby, and he's also my emotional support,
as he's been with me through almost everything. Things didn't
exactly get better when we moved in with his family.
Found out he was cheating on me again shocker. He
would drink more and his parents didn't like that he drank,
so he'd hide it from them, but still acted out
in a way that they knew he was drinking. Now,

(01:03:53):
I have health issues that I've had since I was young,
and Leo knew this. He didn't like the fact, but
he helped me with them in most cases until he didn't.
He'd start throwing a fit because of them, especially if
I had to go to the hospital because of the
health issues. He would take me to my doctor's and
to get my meds until he stopped doing that too.
I would tell him when I had appointments and he'd

(01:04:13):
get that day off to be able to take me.
Then the night before stay up late drinking and still
be up drinking when it came time to go, so
I'd have to waste money to get a number or
lyft to and from my appointments.

Speaker 10 (01:04:24):
Sometimes he'd pay.

Speaker 11 (01:04:25):
For it, but still it was a waste of money
when he knew in advance about the appointments and had
the gas in his car. I couldn't drive at the time,
as I was trying to get my license, but now
I can't drive because of more health problems. I eventually
told him I was thinking about leaving and moving back
to my home state. Promised he would start treating me better,
so I decided to stay and give it one last
shot with him. No, he did treat me better for

(01:04:47):
a bit, but after a few months it was back
to the same things, and I started falling out of
love with him. But everything came to a head when
his parents said we had to get rid of all
the cats, or that we would have to start paying
a pet deposit to the landlord.

Speaker 10 (01:05:00):
I only had Garfield. They had so many more cats.

Speaker 11 (01:05:02):
I talked with his sisters and him to try and
get them to translate for me to his parents that
I would pay the deposit for Garfield and a few
of their cats, along with getting the cat food and
litter for them if I could keep Garfield.

Speaker 10 (01:05:14):
But none of them would do it, not even Leo.

Speaker 11 (01:05:16):
So I got hold of my mom and Kayla and
started making plans to get the heck out of there
with Garfield asap. I thought I would have until after
Halloween to get everything ready, but plans had to get
moved up as Kayla had gotten three days off in
a row without having to request it, so they came
and got me asap, which makes sense because Kayla was
one of the friends who was like, uh, yeah, this

(01:05:37):
is not good.

Speaker 8 (01:05:38):
The second that friend got that yeah, she was like
I'm coming.

Speaker 3 (01:05:40):
She's like, I'll get that tough.

Speaker 11 (01:05:41):
She probably didn't even get yeah she probably didn't even
like I could totally even probably request I need these
days like I'm leaving gone. The night before I left,
I told him I would be leaving the next day.
He claims I chose a cat over him, and dang right,
I did, and I'll do it again every time. Garfield
is my baby and I was not going to give
him up.

Speaker 10 (01:05:59):
If I had to.

Speaker 11 (01:05:59):
Stay there without Garfield, I would have gone insane. So yes,
I chose my cat and my health over that pos
I Now I'm living with my mom again while I
work on getting my health both mental and physical better.
I'm going to therapy for my depression, anxiety and PTSD,
which he is the reason for the PTSD. Oh, I'm
taking time out from dating still because of everything, and

(01:06:20):
just trying to live a happy life.

Speaker 10 (01:06:21):
I have my family, friends, and Garfield.

Speaker 11 (01:06:23):
And that's honestly all I need right now to get
through this, thankfully. Side note turns out they ended up
keeping all the cats they had and even ended up
with more cats as well. Than He tried to guilt
trip me for him doing substances, even sent me a
pick of the supposed raw and I cut all contact
with him right then and there. I was done being
manipulated by him and no longer had to put up
with any of us BS, so I blocked him on

(01:06:45):
everything I do. However, still talk to his younger sister,
whom I still consider my friend because she never did
me wrong, unlike him or anyone else in their family.
She actually helped me when I needed to get away
from him and was there for me through a lot
of his BS and abuse at it.

Speaker 10 (01:06:59):
It's not that I don't want to date. It's that
every time I.

Speaker 11 (01:07:02):
Even think of trying to start dating again, the PTSD
and anxiety get worse. I start to feel like I
deserve everything that happened in that relationship, and I know
I probably didn't, but the thoughts start and won't stop.
I'm still glad I got out of that relationship somewhat
safely as soon as I could, while getting my cat
out with me, but lately I feel broken.

Speaker 10 (01:07:19):
Any advice would be appreciated.

Speaker 8 (01:07:21):
Therapy, Yeah, it's.

Speaker 10 (01:07:23):
Going to take a minute.

Speaker 6 (01:07:24):
It's not.

Speaker 10 (01:07:25):
It's not an easy process.

Speaker 11 (01:07:26):
Don't rush yourself to do something that you're not ready
for just because you think other people. You know you're
thinking about other people's timelines,

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My girlfriend has so much DEBT… and I feel like she’s hiding more! r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP2314

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;} My girlfriend has so much DEBT… and I feel like she’s hiding more! r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP2314