My girlfriend’s dad REFUSED to give me his blessing to marry her… after FIVE YEARS! | Reddit Stories | EP2039 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:12):
My girlfriend's father refused to give me his blessing to
marry her even though we've been together for five years.
Well you gotta be so rude. That's literally the plot
of this song. February eleventh, twenty sixteen. Carl girlfriend's father
because Carl.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
The Lama, Yes, Carl Belama.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Some background. We have been in a relationship for five
years and living together for four and this is the best,
most satisfying relationship I have had in all my life.
She works in the healthcare industry, and her kindness towards
those in need and less privilege than her is what
drew me to ask her out in the first place. Ah,
that's beautiful. In the last four years between us, there

(00:56):
have been some little fights and only one big fight.
By the way, Hey, this comes from Phil said no
or father in law. I said no. And if you
want to submit your own stories, go to our slash
Okay story Time Separate it so the fight happened in
October twenty fourteen, two years before the start of this story.
She planned for lunch with Carl, which I had to
miss because of work related emergency. He called me later

(01:19):
that night, saying that I don't show him the respect
he deserves, and I'm always trying to get out of
family events because I don't want to be around them,
which is not true because half the planning and organizing
on his birthday was on me and it was a
big event. In the morning, I told girlfriend about his
call and she brushed it off as him being intoxicated.
The next weekend, when we went to our parents' place

(01:41):
for family dinner, Carl was extremely hostile towards me, but
I kept silent about it until he said that I
should not have missed the lunch. Every other Sunday is
family dinner at her folks place, and I rarely miss it,
so I didn't think it was a big deal.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
Plus, what happens every other Sunday.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
Appens every other Sunday. I apologized to him and said
that I would make up for it in some way.
At the next dinner, I bought a bunch of smart
wearable accessories for him because girlfriend suggested he was interested
in them. He refused to accept the gift, and when
I insisted, he walked out, saying he needs some air.

Speaker 4 (02:16):
When it comes to men in electronics, they need to
come to their own conclusion about what electronics they need,
thus they will buy it. My grandfather that does not
have a cell phone mm hmm, found the tablet that
he wanted and he bought it because he was like,
this is the right choice for me. He didn't want
anyone else to get it for him because he was like,
I need to make this decision.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
I need to do this. Everybody comes to time in
a man's life, we need to bias electronics.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
Yep, it was on tablet.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
I had no idea what was going on, and girlfriend's
mom was mortified, apologizing to me over and over again
for Carl's behavior. When we got home, I asked girlfriend
if there's something going on that she's not telling me.
At first, she tried to brush it off, but then
she said that it was my fault for not seeing
that her father wasn't interested in being buddies and what
did my respect not friendship? Gross? Okay, this was a

(03:08):
complete surprise to me because I never really thought of
him as anything more than her father. We would just
watch the game together sometime and chat about it later,
but that was the extent of our social interaction. Girlfriend
said I needed to earn his respect and I told
her I had done nothing wrong. That's when the fight started.
But a few days later Carl called me and said
he liked the watch and other accessories. That's his way

(03:31):
of declaring truth. I guess. After that, I was always
extra careful never to miss any event with him. Last June,
girlfriend's mother passed away. Oh and it was an incredibly
difficult time for everyone. I tried to be asked supportive
towards the whole family as I could. I cut down
my work hours to spend more time with them.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yo, don't do that. Don't do that.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
And I was gonna be like, you're lazy, we're not working.

Speaker 3 (03:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Girlfriend and I started cooking the family dinner at his
place because she thought it would be better for him
to see the house alive with people again, and we
made it an every week eventd for a while just
to spend more time with him. Multiple times, we made
extra effort to host family events and once we even
flew his elderly sister. An elder sister out over for
his birthday. I had thought he would warm up to

(04:19):
me a little, but I guess I was wrong, which
brings us to today. Girlfriend is away for the week
on work related stuff, so I planned the whole proposal.
I was going to decorate our apartment like a planetarium
with stars and planets and wright, will you marry me?
And the stars?

Speaker 5 (04:36):
Ah, that's so cute.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
It's from friends, which she is obsessed with. I wanted
to start the preparations with his blessings because that way
he would feel good about me asking him first and
he feel included. Also, that is like so sweet.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
Well, well, good luck with this giant man baby though.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
Oh yeah, he's not gonna like it. I planned a
lunch with him for today to ask for his blessing.
I told him how much I respect him and that
I wish one day I could be as good of
a father as he was. Then when I asked for
his blessing for the marriage, he blew up. He was
absolutely livid, saying that her daughter deserves a better man

(05:12):
and that he never really liked me much and it
always hoped the relationship would end.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
Dude, not gonna lie. This kind of happened to me.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
That's yeah, that's so messed up. Yeah, like keep your
mouth shut man.

Speaker 4 (05:25):
Like the like our parents did not like me at all.
I was like, yeah, I'm looking forward to marriage and stuff.
And they sat us down and was like, are you
really sure about that? You want to be? You want
to be a videographer and an editor? Like do they
even make much money? YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA YadA.
Does Guess who's she's engaged to now? Someone poor photographer
slash editor? What yep, that's who she's engaged to right now?

Speaker 2 (05:46):
That's ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
What can I say?

Speaker 2 (05:48):
He said, all the butt kissing I was doing last
year had shown that I just wanted to appear like
a good man to girlfriend and didn't mean any of that.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah, I was so shocked because this is not how
I expected it to go at all. I left him,
still spewing hate and went to one of my friend's places,
told him and his wife everything, but they are just
as shocked as I am. I spent the day at
their place and got home about two hours ago, not
sure how to proceed now or even what to do.
Should I tell my girlfriend that her father said no,

(06:17):
should I proceed as if nothing has happened. For now,
I'm drinking and playing video games? What should I do?
Reddit Note I have kept a lot of details intentionally
vague because my girlfriend and her siblings are active on
Reddit and there is an update.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
Wait what years?

Speaker 2 (06:34):
This maid twenty sixteen, This is twenty nine, and now
we're jumping to twenty nineteen, so they're either married or
they're not.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
I say, I love time skips, Yeah, they kind of.
I don't, but you don't.

Speaker 6 (06:44):
I don't like big time skipps because I feel like
you miss a lot of context.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
Yeah, Taylor's what happened in between?

Speaker 5 (06:49):
Oh dude, when House of the Dragon did that, I
was like, what, Oh you just meaning like shows but
not in life too.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
Yeah, this is what happens. Bro breaks up with a girl.

Speaker 4 (06:58):
Yeah, and he moves to another city, find he finds
himself before he moves to another city and finds a
flourishing job where he has great coworkers, any great life,
and there you go.

Speaker 3 (07:10):
That's what happens.

Speaker 6 (07:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
Honestly, the way that she reacted about the first time,
when she was like, why do you want to be
buddies with my dad. I feel like I feel like
she's gonna side with her dad. Maybe.

Speaker 4 (07:20):
Oh yeah, of course, because who's going to be saying
if you hear from your dad he's not a good
enough person for you, You're gonna believe it. After a while,
you're gonna be like, yeah, that makes sense, right.

Speaker 3 (07:30):
I guess that's what happened.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
Update August twentieth, twenty nineteen. I'm not sure what I
will get out of this. I feel like writing all
down and having a stranger look it over might give
some mental clarity, but I think at this point there's
no way to salvage our marriage.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
They're married now.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
I've been in relationship with my wife for almost nine
years now married for two. Wow. Our relationship has been,
for the most part, a fulfilling and satisfying one for
the both of us. It seems like I'm making a
self congratulate post, but we've become better people by virtue
of being together. I'm an old fashioned person, so it
was difficult to meet a woman who liked the things

(08:07):
I liked and had the opinions I had. The only
unsavory part of our relationship over the years had been
my relationship with my father in law. My wife and
I rarely have disagreements, so most of the major fights
we've had were because of her father. I want to
be clear here, I don't hate him. I respect the guy.
He sacrificed a lot in his personal life in order

(08:28):
to provide for his family and to make sure my
wife was raised with love and care. I used to
look up to him in the earlier years of the relationship.
He and my mother in law would host the family
twice every week, and when I first started dating their daughter,
it took me by surprise how close they were as
a family. I really liked the family events, with these
picturesque dinners of mild conflicts and contentment, with how close

(08:52):
my wife was with all of her siblings and her parents.
Too early on in the relationship, I think I freaked
out my wife by how much I enjoyed being at
her parents house. Her mother was a saint of a
woman who gave me so much love from the get
go okaya food as she would always make sure I
was included in family activities and often reserved a seat

(09:13):
for me at the family dinner right next to her,
talking to me like I was one of her own.
I remember one time I was over at their place
and had to get back to the city for work.
It was getting pretty late when I got up to leave,
and it had been snowing. She came down from her
room when I was leaving, with an overcoat and her
husband saying I should take the coat with me just
in case. But I know it was because she knew

(09:33):
my car got cold those days. It was a pos
car getting to the end of its life. She didn't
want me to feel like she thought less of me
just because I made less money than my wife. These
little mom things she would do made me love her
so much. And she passed away, we learned earlier in
the story. Anyway, the reason I bring up my mother
in law is because I think she was the reason

(09:54):
her husband was so accepting of me at the time.
She passed away four years ago, and it somehow changed.
I think his love meter broke or something. He started
acting like i'd somehow slighted him all the time, Like
one time wife and I were bringing over some groceries
and restalking everything, and I thought it would be nice
to stay for the dinner and cook for him while
he was out for his evening, walk wife and I

(10:17):
prepared a nice dinner. At dinner, he thanked my wife
for most of it. She mentioned that I did most
of the work for it, and he kind of looked
at me and just stopped talking.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
Would you do me, man? Would you do? Did you
do something? Or does he just is jealous?

Speaker 2 (10:32):
He's just jealous. Another time, in September of twenty sixteen,
we were staying at his place for the weekend because
we were cooking the family dinner every morning. Wife and
I were sitting on the breakfast counter just starting our
day and we thought he was out because he was
usually the first one up. I hit my wife on
her leg over a stupid pun or something, and I
guess he saw because he came over and started yelling

(10:54):
at me about not being raised right and being a
woman beater. Whoa, whoa, yeah, do you know? Nobody was
just like yeah, just like this, yeah, kicking he keeps
kicking me. He said a lot of extremely toxic things
about me before my younger sister in laws came into
the kitchen and practically dragged him out.

Speaker 3 (11:13):
There we go.

Speaker 2 (11:13):
My wife repeatedly said that it was a joke, but
he wouldn't accept the explanation, saying she sticks up for me. Similarly,
I remember one time. This was when his wife was alive.
I bought him a gift and he straight up refused
to accept it in front of the whole family. What
my wife's mother, brother and his family, including sister in law,
both sisters, their husbands, and the elder sister's kid were there.

(11:35):
It was such a humiliating experience for me. I just
wanted the man to not hate me all the time.
I think my mother in law forced him to accept
the gift after a few days and made him apologize
to me. After my mother in law passed away, he changed.
It was like his filter was gone. He would stay
in his room a lot, only come out for erin's
and walks. He wouldn't watch the games with me, saying

(11:57):
I talk too much. He wouldn't let me fix anything
out the house, despite me practically living there and having
done a lot of work in the house in the past.
A popular theory among my friends was that he hated
me because I was too close to his wife, which
sounds absurd. She was a maternal figure in my life
and I can't, for the life of me understand why
that would piss him off because he was jealous because

(12:17):
you had a Yeah, you had a type of relation,
you know, shipped with her.

Speaker 4 (12:20):
Yeah, you probably like asked her how her day was. Yeah,
something he never fathomed to do.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
Oh, she was nice to everyone. My wife is nice
to everyone too, to the point of it being a fault.
My mother in law used to say that she had
four sons, her son, two husbands of my wife's sisters,
and me not so sweet. So it's not like I
was inappropriately close with the woman. I've discussed this with
my with my wife a lot, but she's always insistent
that my relationship with her mother has nothing to do

(12:47):
with it. She needs to talk to her dad. Is
this like it feels like she's not really standing up
for op at all. Yeah, at least the barest minimum.

Speaker 3 (12:56):
He needs to see. I don't know.

Speaker 4 (12:58):
He needs to get his head fixed because understand your
wife has passed away. That's just give you the right
to treat this. You know, your son in law like this. Yeah,
he's not doing anything.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
He's marry to your daughter.

Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yeah, and he's trying to have a relationship with you. Man,
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (13:12):
One day you're gonna be walking down the street being
like man, where somebody cared for me? Yeah, and he
was only that was caring.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
For you, pushing everyone away in your life who's trying
to help you. My wife is the youngest daughter, so
she treats her father with a lot of love and respect.
Early on in our relationship, his behavior wasn't an issue,
and by the time it became an issue, we were
already too serious for me to break it off over this.
Everyone else in her family likes me as far as
I know. I've been invited over by both of her

(13:38):
sisters and multiple times for lunches, dinners, favors, et cetera.
Everyone treats me like I'm family. I've talked to the
eldest sister about why their father hates me, but she's
always maintained that he doesn't hate me. She always says
he loves his youngest daughter a lot and has always
been a difficult person to please, And honestly, I can
see that it's true. On an average day, he is

(13:59):
the most at of me out of all of his
son in laws. Wait, so he hates all of his
sudden laws. Yeuh, that's crazy, But they all live in
different cities or states, and wife and I live in
the same neighborhood, so he gets to see me more.
I'm sure a part of his resentment is because of
that too. After my mother in law passed, we were
all heartbroken. A few days after her funeral, when everyone

(14:22):
started to leave, my wife and I were going through
some of the stuff that her mother left. She started
getting choked up about the fact that the house felt
like it had passed with her. We decided that we
were going to take on the mantle of cooking for
family dinners like her mom used to do. It's a
pretty big responsibility, considering the family is almost never altogether
except maybe one holiday a year. Sometimes it would just
be my father in law, brother in law and his

(14:44):
family and us. It was actually really nice for a while.
Everyone kept visiting once in a while and the routine
was nice. I was glad to have more time for
family and not be harassed by father in law. It
felt like he was warming up to me. Look like
there is going to be something some shoes about to drop.
He I think this guy could be scared of losing
his daughter. Maybe it could be a possibility. Yeah, I

(15:06):
don't know. It seems like he's scared. I guess, so
maybe losing all of his daughters because he.

Speaker 3 (15:08):
Already lost his wife. He just want to lose his daughter.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
And he's like a super hyper protective. Yeah, honey, be
eighty five says, does his daughter Opie's partner look more
like her mother? Maybe?

Speaker 4 (15:18):
And like thinking that her being married is her being
taken away or something. So he resents his son in laws.
Who are you reading nothing? Those were my ideas?

Speaker 2 (15:29):
Did Angie just send you ideas? No, Okay, she's not here,
She's literally not here.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
But yeah that's my thought.

Speaker 4 (15:36):
Yeah that you know, whenever he gets married, but that
would happen.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
Alie says, perhaps it's the intimacy with his daughter. My
cat's name is Karen says, maybe dad wanted his own sons.
He didn't want to get close to the sister in law.

Speaker 4 (15:47):
Yeah, weird, weird a lot of conspiracy theories. Let's just
get this guy in a room and ask what's your
deal and then we'll.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
Get Yeah, you need to have like go up to
your father in law and be like, dude, you've always
hated me?

Speaker 6 (16:01):
Why?

Speaker 3 (16:02):
Uh uh?

Speaker 5 (16:02):
There we go make a dramatic yeah, do what Riley
would do fight him.

Speaker 4 (16:07):
Yeah, I would totally earn his respect. Riley's just really introspective, guys.
See that's what she's said.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
So introspective. At that time, a wife and I started
talking about marriage and it just felt right. I don't
think I was ever more sure about anything than about
marrying my wife at the time. There was a brief
moment before the engagement where she and I got into
a fight, but things worked out nicely. We got engaged
in May, and it just set things in motion. My
wife is the youngest child in her family, so she

(16:35):
got a lot of positive attention from her siblings. They
had kept her mother's wedding accessories for which honestly was
such a nice thing to do, and slowly, over the
months it became this big happy event in our family.
Winter of twenty sixteen, when we got married, my wife
sat me down and asked me if it would be
okay to move in back with her father to take
care of him. I think that was the moment where

(16:58):
I made the stupidest decision of my life life when
I said yes. Yeah, I understand why you might have
you said yes, but also, it's kind of hard to
move in with someone who actively hates you a lot.

Speaker 4 (17:11):
The chronic peepee got to you. Yeah, chronic pypee uh,
chronic people pleasing.

Speaker 3 (17:16):
Chronicky pee.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
I was blinded my love not just for my wife,
but for her family, for her mother, who I missed
so much, for her father, who liked me but never
really accepted me, and for her siblings who liked me
like I was the own. I just thought about what
would be best for everyone else. A month after we
moved in and my father in law asked his son
if he could come stay with them for a while.
WHOA wait, Like you guys moved in. He was like,

(17:41):
I'm out of here.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
You guys can stay here.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
I'm leaving.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
That's cool. Do you have to pay still?

Speaker 2 (17:47):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (17:49):
Like quiet, Okay, where's he going? He's going to the
brother in law's all right, dope.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
At the time, it felt like a good thing that
I was moving past the grief of his wife's passing.
But I don't think that that why he visited his son.
He just wanted to get out of the house because
of me.

Speaker 4 (18:04):
Look, he might be losing it mentally too.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
A few weeks later, when he got back his passive aggressiveness,
BS started again. Oh, he just left temporarily. I thought
he was moving out forever. I thought he was like,
I want to stay with the other one. Now, you
guys stay here.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
This guy makes no sense.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
It makes no sense. But this time it was just
constant nagging over small, petty things. I moved the chair, No,
I didn't. I broke the thermostat No, and I changed
it for good measure. I forgot to put the tools back.
I messed up the library. Things like that, almost as
if I'm a child who's unwanted in this house.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
Oh, this feels like a movie. I don't know why.

Speaker 4 (18:39):
It feels like Daddy's Home too. It feels like these
two characters blah blah blah blah. Just cut the cheese
and ask him what's going on.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
You're with him and say, dude, why do you hate me?
Why do you hate me so much? It's like the
climax of the movie. Yes, why do you hate me
so bad?

Speaker 4 (18:57):
Now they're like find back and forth. The wife's like
all you boys is nothing, But they're.

Speaker 6 (19:01):
Like that sounds like footloose, like where they like the
dad like hates dancing, and like the guy like loves
a dance.

Speaker 2 (19:07):
Yeah, facts May twenty seventeen. We had a huge fight
and I gave my wife a choice to either live
with me or live with her father. That made her
have a fight with her father, and she decided she
was gonna move out because, in her own words, he's
never going to accept you as a son. He's delusional
in grief. So we moved out, but still live close
by because both their jobs were quite close. Our moving out, however,

(19:29):
messed up the whole family dinner tradition, as her father
refused to come to our place for dinners and we
couldn't afford to host the whole family in our small apartment.
It became a logistic nightmare. So her brother stepped up
and said he was going to do it. I think
their father was really mad at me for ruining the
tradition because at every single dinner I had with him,
he wanted nothing to do with me. I actually liked

(19:51):
it this way because it was nice to not be
attacked or defended all the time.

Speaker 3 (19:55):
Okay, I mean he's not.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
Talking to you, so I guess that's better now.

Speaker 4 (19:59):
The characters are they have their own way. They're like hmmm,
and the old ones like.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
Well yeah, and the wife's and then it's like a
montage or something. Yeah, but my wife started resenting me
for it, and I think her younger sister and brother
do too. What he didn't do anything. Man, it's been
almost two years since we moved out. I don't attend
family dinners with much regularity, maybe once a month if
I'm being generous. I also got busier at work, so
I've been spending less time with wife during the weekdays,

(20:26):
which I prefer, because her resentment towards me is making
it a very difficult situation. She goes over to her
brother's house every other weekend, and the other weekend is
spent at her father's place, where her brother's family and
she get together for dinner. The only person on my
side is my oldest sister in law because she thinks
her father has treated me badly. She has visited us
twice over the last year, and it's the only time

(20:47):
I've gotten any affection from my in laws. It feels
like up until two years ago, I had a huge
family who all loved me, and now I'm getting more
and more lonely by the month.

Speaker 6 (20:56):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
I can't help but feel that the marriage has changed
her lives the worst. It's been more than two months
since my wife and I have been intimate in our bedroom.
It's been a lot longer since we've had a date
for ourselves. I'm at a complete loss as to what
I can do to improve things.

Speaker 4 (21:11):
Dude, You've got to go to the dad. You need
to go on a fish and trip with the dad.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Literally, you need to have a conversation with everyone here.

Speaker 4 (21:19):
Figure it out with the dad first, show some progress,
then figure.

Speaker 3 (21:23):
It out with the wife. I don't know. I have
been a part of a family.

Speaker 4 (21:29):
Like I dated a girl and like her family did
not like me whatsoever. And I will say the dynamic
in that family was super hard to be around and
it made me super sad because I'm a family guy,
all right, and I seem like it's a family, but
I am a family person.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
Yeah, I mean, everyone wants to be liked by the
people closest to their partner.

Speaker 4 (21:48):
But I especially with the family and now being with Angie,
has been fantastic. Like, our parents are super fun around me.
They joke with me, like I send them updates. They
talked to me back for It's it's such a nice
relationship to be around them.

Speaker 3 (22:03):
And I don't know.

Speaker 4 (22:04):
It just makes it things so much easier. It's crazy,
So no one who what I know now, if I
was with someone and their family didn't vibe with me,
I probably would be getting giving second thoughts like I
don't know if I would have gotten married three years ago.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
No, I mean if he said no, I would have
to have a really big conversation with my fiance first. Yeah,
say like, hey, your dad said no, we need to
I feel like I don't want to proceed with you
until we get this sorted out with him.

Speaker 5 (22:30):
Yeah, exactly, and have like a sit.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
Down conversation with both of us.

Speaker 4 (22:34):
This post kind of like why is she moving in
with the dad?

Speaker 3 (22:37):
Sounded like not anymore? She was losing it.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (22:41):
I could have heard it wrong though.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
The post kind of grew when I was writing it.
I had to edit some small details because I don't
want my in laws to find this post. By the way,
we want you to find full episodes of stories just
like this, and you can find them if you go
to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app and
search a Bocus story time. There is both update and
also a whole other saga to this story. I was

(23:05):
like that this is not over. I was like, oh no,
it was just split into two parts.

Speaker 3 (23:09):
Time jump again.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
I don't know. We'll find out we do.

Speaker 4 (23:12):
Yeah, oh dude, bro, time jumps again. I love time jumps,
especially with stories like this, like TV series will not
do that, but this.

Speaker 5 (23:21):
Oh my gosh, boy, do I have the movie for you?

Speaker 1 (23:23):
Back to the.

Speaker 4 (23:24):
Future update twenty ninety Wait, figure it out with the dad.

Speaker 3 (23:29):
Okay, go yeah wait.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
Some folks have messaged me asking for an update, so
I thought I could post it here instead of personal messages.
I have been reading a lot of relationship health books
and tried to talk to my wife many times.

Speaker 3 (23:42):
Doing the inner work. Let's go.

Speaker 2 (23:43):
However, the fact is she and I don't work as
a couple anymore.

Speaker 4 (23:48):
Oh yeah, I have so many conspiracy theories about this too.

Speaker 5 (23:53):
Is is that just one?

Speaker 2 (23:54):
Who?

Speaker 3 (23:54):
I give us one?

Speaker 2 (23:57):
Wow?

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Wow? So many? So many? You just can't think of one.

Speaker 2 (24:01):
So freaking many.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
Man.

Speaker 3 (24:04):
That's yep, that's it. Yeah, guys, don't be mad at me.

Speaker 4 (24:06):
I just read a study about how birth control affects
how relationships are.

Speaker 3 (24:11):
There was a study done about it. You know what
I'm talking about?

Speaker 2 (24:13):
In that it affects the hormones of the woman, yeah,
or the person taking it.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (24:18):
So like there's a study done with women that are
on birth control and a study done with women that
weren't on birth control, and the women that weren't on
birth control would smell these like bags of men that
would sweat in this T shirt and like it would
be like basically they smell their pheromones. They got that
pheromones to smell the men's fair of moms. And it
concluded that the women that were not on birth control

(24:39):
chose like more diverse like like you know partners in that.
But the women that were on birth control chose randomly
or people that were kind of like more similar to them,
like similar DNA structures or whatever. And it looked like
the birth control would like kind of alter their like

(25:00):
on the partner. So I think like once people come
off of birth control, they're like they see their partner
and they're like, who is this person? Like I don't
I don't smell or like have the same vibe of
like the person that I thought I was with. That's
kind of like what there, I don't know, prove me wrong.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
Here, No, no, no, I'm not I'm not saying that that's wrong.
What is the relevance season?

Speaker 4 (25:20):
Well, another thing too is she could have maybe been
on birth control when they were together and now was
off it, and that might be another reason why they're
so separate, not just the dad. It was the dad's
stuff and then also this one too, or she's like,
we can't back anymore.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
That is a that is a theory.

Speaker 4 (25:34):
Because it's if it's just the dad stuff, you could
work through it and be like, Okay, dad, you're being hard.

Speaker 3 (25:40):
They just have an intervention.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
I don't think they could work through it if she
doesn't do anything, you know.

Speaker 4 (25:44):
Yeah, well, if they have an intervention, they could fix it.
But it doesn't sound like she one wants to have
intervention into If someone says we.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
Just don't work as a couple anymore, you're they're donezos.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
Yeah, I agree. Well, I think because she's not willing
to fight for this relationship when her father says, oh,
you shouldn't be in.

Speaker 3 (26:00):
This relationship, thank you, it's sure.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
I know. I don't think Riley is wrong. I just
thought it was a it's a left field theory, but
you know, perhaps the left field is where the right
answers are. However, the fact is she and I just
don't work as a couple anymore. I am no longer
a priority in her life and I am not okay
with it. So last month I decided to talk to
my lawyer and initiate divorce. It's been a really stressful time,

(26:26):
especially for almost from almost all of her family. But
at this point, I just want to look after myself
and recover myself from this relationship. Dead Bedroom sup have
been helpful as well. I read through so many posts
there which kind of opened my eyes to the nature
of my marriage. And that is ended part one. So
we're gonna get into part two. There's oh wow, Yeah,
there's a whole part two.

Speaker 5 (26:46):
We're going to the future, the future present.

Speaker 3 (26:50):
Yeah, dude, that's what's u sam.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
Here, we're gonna get back to the stories. But here's
three of it's bads from our sponsors.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
Me and my ex wife divorced years ago. So now
she wants to meet me for lunch.

Speaker 5 (27:03):
You had to spoil the broth.

Speaker 4 (27:04):
Huh wants to meet me for lunch? Well, he already
was initiating me, dude.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
Okay, this is my theory. Okay, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theory.
They get they've gotten divorced. She realizes, I know, maybe
her dad passed or I don't know, maybe her like
her dad realizes you have a picture. Is that the
picture either? He regrets in some way something has changed
with the dad. She realizes, Oh my god, my dad
was the reason that I was this like, this marriage

(27:29):
was failing. I still love appear a lot. I need
to go back and get him back. Dan. It's my theory.

Speaker 3 (27:37):
I think it's something something similar.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
To that October twenty seventh, twenty twenty three.

Speaker 3 (27:41):
That is four years in the future.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
The time jump. Oh that he's a toyme jump four years.
There's some context to why we got divorced, but it
will take too long to explain here. Don't worry, we
read it. By the way, this comes from Phil said no,
and if you want to spit your own stories, go
to our Slashoky story time. Sever So after our I
lost a family and friends. I was very involved with
the family on her side, and losing them all at

(28:05):
the same time because we got divorced made things difficult
for me. I am an immigrant here, so I did
not have any friends outside of my ex wife's family
and so also to you know, be cut off from,
oh like their own family and then have this kind
of accepting, you know, accepting one that just drops you.

Speaker 4 (28:24):
That's so tough, Like having like one. I know, my dad,
he's not really close with his side of the family,
but him being a part of my like my mom's
out of the family, helped so much. But like not
having any family at all, dude, yeah, oh man, that's
so said.

Speaker 2 (28:40):
During the divorce process, the COVID lockdown started, and that
and did all my relationships with her side of the family,
and I was really lonely here for a long time.
I tried to go on dates, but the dating culture
is so different now than fifteen years ago. I could
not find a person I wanted to spend more time with.
But I think it was in part my I felt too,

(29:01):
and the one person who showed interest in long term
dating was much younger than me. I did not like
her friends, and her friends were not thrilled with me either,
so that relationship kind of passed in twenty one. Since then,
I have stopped going on dates even and I have
lost touch with some friends and acquaintances because of COVID.
Because of the VID, or maybe because of age and

(29:22):
not having a wife. Like they're all family men now,
so making time is a difficult thing. But anyway, I
saw my ex wife a few times in the last
two years and we exchanged some quick words about well being,
but nothing substantial. I know she lost her father due
to COVID or. I know she lost her father due
to VID, and I told her I was sorry for
her loss because he loved her very much. She also

(29:45):
told me she was dating a younger man and was going, well.

Speaker 4 (29:48):
Okay, you don't you gotta put that in the air,
that part.

Speaker 2 (29:52):
You didn't even say that. You did not need to
say that.

Speaker 4 (29:55):
How do you think she met the younger guy her dad?
Oh said that he probably has someone better for her.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
Oh, I don't think that younger man's gonna last too long.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
Oh no, dude, you can't.

Speaker 2 (30:07):
I think I think her dad's passed.

Speaker 4 (30:09):
He's here for a fun time, not a long time.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
However, However, we never sat down for tea anything. It
just never happened. But two months ago I got a
message from her saying she wanted to meet for lunch.
During this lunch, she told me her relationship of one
year and some months was not going well and she
was thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend cool. I
would be like, oh my god. I would be like,

(30:31):
why are you telling.

Speaker 3 (30:33):
Me this is an opportunity?

Speaker 2 (30:35):
Are you telling me no?

Speaker 5 (30:36):
This is an opportunity to get back?

Speaker 2 (30:38):
No? I, why are you telling me this?

Speaker 4 (30:44):
Well, I'm like, I've been seeing other people too, Yeah,
And then you say, yeah, seeing a lot of people
got a whole freaking rosta.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
She and him did not agree on kids or not
having kids, and she did not see a future with him.
We kept in touch through the last two months, and
twelve days ago she broke up with him. She told
me part of the reason was that after talking to me,
she remembered how it was with me when we first
started dating, and how it was not the same with
her boyfriend. I freaking called it. Oh, I freaking called it.

Speaker 3 (31:14):
Man, you're the honey hive. She's being called it.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
Her dad passes, and then she realizes that opieing her
had a pretty good relationship.

Speaker 3 (31:21):
Oh what do I do with all this pault? I
don't know where to go.

Speaker 4 (31:24):
I need to go back to the honey hive, that
is you, my friend.

Speaker 2 (31:28):
She and I have been talking a lot in the
last few weeks since the breakup. The first thing she
does after waking up every morning is message me my.

Speaker 4 (31:35):
Cat's name is Karen, says, I hate this woman.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
And she's been a little bit great great. And then
two days ago she called at seven in the morning
saying she was at my door with some food. I
had been feeling ill, but I don't remember when I
told her. However, she came with a lot of home
cook food and soups, which she knows I like. I
felt like we were back in time ten years ago.
It's been a very confusing time since then. I'm not

(31:57):
sure what I feel. I think I'm starting to love
her again. She pays me so much attention, which is nice.
She also keeps sending food or bringing it.

Speaker 3 (32:05):
Herself because guess who else did them? Her mom?

Speaker 4 (32:11):
And that's why he was so like, she loves me
so much.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
And then last night she spent the night because I
was too ill to get up and clean after myself.
She spent the night. Did nothing happened between us. But
at the same time, I think she wants to talk
about us dating again. Maybe and I will admit all
the attention and food and other gestures of love and
care are starting to feel incredible. I'm not sure who

(32:36):
to talk about this. I think I need to keep
her away for a few days to be able to
think clearly. But it has been so long since I
have felt this good about myself, and a lot of
our relationship problems were from how her father acted with me.
So I kept thinking, maybe we can try again, and
this time it will be better. Any advice or anyone
wants to talk to help me think here. I would
really appreciate it. And there is an update.

Speaker 4 (32:59):
Dude, I'm kind of stressed. I'm stressing out here. I'm
stressing out here. Oh b if you really want this
to happen, take it.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
Slow, take it so slow. I'm like super stressed for you.

Speaker 5 (33:13):
But do we think he's gonna take it slow though?
Do we thank you to take it soon?

Speaker 6 (33:17):
No?

Speaker 2 (33:17):
I think my advice for him is you need to
have a conversation with your ex like asap, say like
sitter down and say hey, sitter down today, I've noticed
you know, seems like maybe you're trying to come back
into my life. Is that your intention? Because if so,

(33:41):
you know either you're interested or not. If you're interested.
Then you say, like, I'm interested, but I want to
take it really slow. I want to make sure that
I'm in a good spitheadspace that you're you just broke
up with someone. I don't know if you're you know,
it was a year and a half.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
So yeah, well it's been twelve days since I we're up.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
Real quick, Yeah, twelve days? Do it?

Speaker 3 (34:00):
Or nah?

Speaker 2 (34:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Uh?

Speaker 4 (34:02):
What's a better way to do this? Like get together?
That together is a long way back?

Speaker 3 (34:06):
Run or nah? Run or stay?

Speaker 1 (34:08):
Runner?

Speaker 3 (34:08):
Stay?

Speaker 4 (34:09):
One is run to is stay? I agree?

Speaker 3 (34:13):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (34:13):
He hasn't really seen anyone recently, I.

Speaker 2 (34:16):
Think in the four years, really in.

Speaker 4 (34:18):
The four years, so he definitely has his eye on
her and that it's the one that has his heart.
She's gone around, not like gone around, but like she's
been seeing other people, seeing if she could do it.
Nothing's really working out. Yeah, And it seemed like but
like how can you, like, if you are with someone,
how can you let their dad block you?

Speaker 6 (34:36):
Like?

Speaker 3 (34:36):
How can you let that happen?

Speaker 2 (34:38):
The thing is, I don't think it's a good idea
for them to get to back together, but I think
that he wants to, So I'm giving an advice for
that scenario.

Speaker 4 (34:47):
Yeah, but there is an update. A lot of people
are saying run put one for run.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
To for stay Robert Spence's two in therapy. As for
the update, it's a mixed bag. On Saturday, she came
over to talk about a relationship and what we both
wanted and what went wrong. She asked to speak first,
and I really should have talked first instead, but I
let her say her part, and it was focused on
her relationship with her whole family, how important her father
was to her, how much involved everyone else was in

(35:12):
her relationship with me. She said, sorry for letting her
family and her father in particular, meddle in our marriage.
One of the things which hurt me a lot was
when she mentioned that her ex boyfriend never wanted to
be around her family and hated going to any family
events or even to a similar simple dinner. She said,
that's when she realized how much easier I had made
things for her in our marriage. It was incredibly artful

(35:35):
because I remember telling her in so many different ways,
and at many times, even before the passing of her mother,
that I was okay with her family's involvement, but she
needed to keep some distance between our relationship and her
father in particular.

Speaker 4 (35:47):
Dude, that sucks when you mention it and she finally
figures it out. Yeah, after you and someone else, she's like, oh, yeah,
that probably is what I needed to do.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
It's like, okay, oh go figure that out. Was you
know you figured out? Go use that on someone else.
She said that one time her father said something nasty
directed at her ex boyfriend and after that time he
refused to be in the same room as him, and
I told her that he was right in doing that.
I reminded her of the time when her father told me,
after five years of our relationship that he did not

(36:16):
want to give me his blessing for asking you to marry.
I don't know why, but hearing her say that she
saw her family's behavior towards her boyfriend and that was
what helped her see how toxic they could be was
really hurtful. Yeah. I mean, that sucks for her to
have to learn that on someone else and not in
your marriage. Like my feelings and my protest did not
matter to her as much. I told her that, and

(36:37):
she had tears in her eyes. Actually, I feel like,
maybe hope he isn't going to get together. I don't know.
There's a lot of left to the story though in
the air right now. She said sorry a lot of
times about it. She said she was young and inexperienced,
and at first and then after her mother passed, she
was scared of losing her father and anything I said
about him was difficult for her to hear about that.

(36:59):
I remember remember one time we were hosting the family
dinner and her father said her ful things about my cooking,
and I brought it up with her and one of
her siblings, and she refused to hear me, even when
her sister told her she should listen because I was right.

Speaker 4 (37:11):
Dang, oh man, you got no, don't don't.

Speaker 5 (37:16):
Yeah, you hit Riley's one little thin.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
What is it? Riley?

Speaker 5 (37:21):
You never you never?

Speaker 3 (37:22):
Uh oh you don't.

Speaker 4 (37:25):
Now even if like they say something and it's like
I could be better, Like like Kelon at Thanksgiving, he
was like, hey.

Speaker 3 (37:32):
It's gonna be real with you.

Speaker 4 (37:33):
You're the turkey breast part of the turkey was not
really good. And I was like, dude, thank you for that.
But not a lot of people can take that kind
of criticism. Not a lot of people can like be like,
oh wow.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah, I tell it how it is.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
I just preempt it. I'm like, oh, it's not that great,
and then and then expectations can only be raised. Anyway,
When we got talking about her father, the conversation kind
of got away from me. We ended up talking about
him for like two hours. I think she wanted to
get a lot of it off for chess too. It
was very emotional and exhausting, though, as afterwards I did
not have the energy to continue talking. I really wish

(38:08):
I had talked first, because I wanted to talk to
her about our problems in the bedroom as well, but
we had to make food first. She was saying how
much she missed cooking with me and being around each other.
I guess that's another thing your ex boyfriend did not
appreciate about her.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
Okay, well, are we comparing so much?

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Yeah? I don't like stop talking about your ex. After
making lunch together, we just sat eating and talking about
the few times we had some time for ourselves when
we were married, to mention how much he liked going
on two road trips we took together after we got married.
For context, we used to have a lot more time
when we first started dating, as we were still studying,
but then after getting jobs and having to take care

(38:43):
of a house, it slowly diminished. After we finished lunch,
I was too tired to continue our conversation, so we
just kind of existed around each other for a little bit.
We did talk about what we should not expect if
we started dating. I told her I want to talk
about our bedroom problems, but maybe not right away. She
told me she wanted to say sorry for not listening
to me about that too. She was a very selfish lover,

(39:06):
and she told me it was a difficult thing for
her to realize that she ignored my needs in the marriage.
She said, if we date again, she wanted us to
see a relationship counselor together and by herself, to make
our dating life better. I think it's a good idea
to talk to someone who can help me explain my
side of things to her. I am not confident how
helpful the conversation can be if it's just the two
of us. She has a tendency to talk over me

(39:27):
or to agree with me, but not let me say
my part. I want to talk to her about it too,
but I think it's better if I wait until we've
found some relationship counselor night.

Speaker 3 (39:36):
Okay, mart all right, but.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
Still I think the outcome of the conversation yesterday was good.
I want to ask her out on a date tonight,
for maybe Tuesday or Wednesday. She went back to her
house last night, and I missed her presence around me
a lot. I don't know if that is a good
sign or if it means I'm too lonely. When she
was here yesterday, she got a call from one of
her siblings and she mentioned me by name. I was

(39:58):
not listening in, but I just heard her say my name,
so my ears picked up on that part. I feel
like that should be a good sign too, or maybe
I'm just desperate to look for anything positive and take
that as a sign. She wanted to come over today,
but I told her I'm feeling much better and she
doesn't need to cook for me today. Good on you
putting up boundaries, I hope. Also. I spent the morning

(40:19):
today looking through our old pictures together. It was nice
to remember the person she used to be. I feel
like yesterday I saw a little bit of that person
in her. Am I wrong to want to start something
so soon?

Speaker 3 (40:32):
I know?

Speaker 2 (40:32):
I said previously that I would wait but waiting for
the sake of it seems pointless. I do want to
take things slow because I want us to find a
relationship councilor soon. But I am afraid I will lose
her if I show no interest and there is an update.

Speaker 3 (40:46):
But what's the poligan run? I think run eighty.

Speaker 4 (40:49):
Six percent runs. It's just confusing. Why do you want
to work on the what? Also, what does she want
out of this?

Speaker 1 (40:56):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (40:57):
I don't understand that too.

Speaker 4 (40:58):
If she wants a relationship, why aren't we be working
on it now, and why did we work on it earlier?

Speaker 2 (41:03):
The thing is that I think, Yeah, I think that
her father really, you know, had a huge sway on
her understanding of the relationship. I think that she didn't
like the relationship. She was justin broke up and now
she's like, oh, reminiscing about the past and not really
thinking about all the reasons that they broke up and
that they did break up and divorce, like it's not

(41:25):
even just a breakup, this is a divorce.

Speaker 6 (41:26):
Yeah, she didn't know what she lost until she like
lost it, and then she's like, oh, I.

Speaker 5 (41:31):
Have someone young. I have a young buck and he sucks.

Speaker 3 (41:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
And also the kind of frame the frame of mind
for Ope to be like, oh, if I don't show
any interest, if I go too slow, she's gonna lose interest.
If she was actually serious about wanting to fix the relationship,
then she wouldn't leave after you know, yeah a moment,
she would. She would take the time to work on it.

Speaker 6 (41:55):
It seems like she can't also make her own decisions. Yeah,
like she just needs her dat. She had her dad
in her ear and she's like, I'll do whatever he says, and.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
Jem says, this would be a different and totally new relationship.
Can't have the same thing again it turns out bad.
That's a great point. That's a really great point. Like
when you get back with an X, like there has
to be a talk about like, this is not the
same relationship that we had that before because that one
didn't work.

Speaker 5 (42:19):
Yeah, this is a new one that's on both parties.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
Yeah, yeah, agreed, but there is an update. Oh boy,
we got back together, but we are living separately at
the moment. Yeah, don't live together immediately, that would be crazy.
I would also we started couple's therapy. Great, oh boy,
I am hopeful about my life and I will try
my best to remember to update here at some point
in the future. Anyway, here's what I wrote. My ex

(42:44):
wife and I have reconnected over the last few months.
About two months ago, she brought up how she wanted
to officially give it another go, so we had a
long talk about it. We talked about the past, in
particular the state of our marriage towards the end, and
how much of it was because of my father in
law and how much of it was instead because of
her and me. She has been going to therapy about

(43:04):
her father's death, which I did not know about before.
She said she hasn't told anyone in the family either,
so I am not surprised. But anyway, she talked about
a relationship with him quite a lot. It was surprising
to hear her so to hear so much reflection from
her about it, and honestly, it meant a lot to
me that she decided to open up about it. She
has struggled all her life about her father's shadow over her,

(43:27):
and she acknowledged that it is a little late for
the broken up marriage as she now knows better. She
brought up therapy for us as a couple again, and
I told her we need to do it if we
are going to start dating again. She asked if we
are dating again, and I said, I asked the last time,
so you have to, so you have to this time. Haha.
So I guess it's official. I feel like, you know what.

(43:51):
I feel like. I want to be positive. I feel
like they are making the right steps to fix this.

Speaker 3 (43:56):
Want will make it work out.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
I want to think positively about this. Maybe it won't
work out, but you know what, they're.

Speaker 3 (44:02):
Adults forbidden love.

Speaker 4 (44:03):
Right now and it's such a rom com dude.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
I think, op, he is taking the right steps to
ensure that this isn't just gooda like, he's not rushing
into it. They're thinking about it.

Speaker 3 (44:14):
True.

Speaker 2 (44:15):
However, we talked about keeping separate places for a while,
just for the convenience of things and forgiving each other space.
Things are slower this time around. She hasn't told any
of her siblings, and I get the feeling her family
is not as close as they used to be when
her parents were alive. There are no official family get
together's events other than Christmas in Easter. Oh. I think

(44:37):
it's better for her that her siblings are not constantly
around anymore. It gives her more space to find herself
in a way, but it's bittersweet feeling because I loved
her parents' time of getting together as a big family
every once in a while. Anyway, we decided to make
it official, but I am at a loss about where
the relationship is now. I keep calling her my ex
wife here, but she's also my girlfriend. So if there

(44:59):
is a word for please let me know. What about
my ex wife's now girlfriend?

Speaker 3 (45:04):
What about her name?

Speaker 2 (45:05):
That's true?

Speaker 3 (45:06):
Why can't we just call her name my partner?

Speaker 2 (45:09):
It's a new feeling. So there is familiarity in this relationship,
but it is also very different than from last time.
We are not so young a naive. We have found
a couple's therapists and have already gone for two three
therapy events. It is helpful to have the therapist in
our conversations. It helps me talk without her talking over
or agreeing, and then continuing my conversation on her own.

(45:31):
She's getting better at listening to me, she said, how
she grew up having to always listen to either her
father or her older siblings. She is the youngest sibling.
I don't remember if I have mentioned that before, so
with me, she felt like she had to talk the most.
It makes sense when she explains it, but it's like
I was the only one around her she could talk to,
so she got into the habit of not listening as well.

(45:53):
But we're working on it. Also. I need to be
much stronger in conversations, which I'm working on as well.
It feels weird to be two adult people on having
to learn how to talk all over again. I will
admit that I had my doubts about therapists being able
to really help, but I'm really glad about being wrong.
It doesn't seem like they went to a therapist when
they were first, you know, going mm hmmm. I feel

(46:16):
like it's good that they're you know, they're they're taking.

Speaker 4 (46:18):
Their taking their steps, talking, communicating a lot. I just
want to know why the dad didn't like them, That's
what I want to know.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
I think he's just a bitter old man who lost
his you know, wife and didn't know how to be
a nice person.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
I don't want to lose his daughter. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:36):
Not everything is good news, though, And she had to
get a court order against her ex for ABU, so
I don't think she's in danger. But she said I
should not write details about it here. Also, I am
still struggling with loneliness, but I am trying to not
fix it by this relationship. I also think that you
guys need to like it seems like you don't really
I don't know about her, but at least you don't
really have a lot of like friendship outside of Yeah.

Speaker 3 (47:00):
You know.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
It doesn't seem like you've ever really had that outlet.
So I think like putting an effort to find friends
for you and someone who's not your partner true to
rely on Yeah. I have started talking to more people
at work there you go. Also, some of the people
here who messaged me have been really amazing. I joined
a small gaming group because of a message, and I'm
really happy about it. There are a lot of good

(47:22):
and kind people who wished me well, which I'm really
grateful for, and after a long time in my life,
I feel positive about my future. At the moment, I
should probably message people more often, but coming to this
website is always difficult because of how many hateful messages
and comments pop up. Address some things that bothered me
a lot from the comments. No, my late father in
law was not a racist person. He had a complicated life.

(47:45):
His family struggled a lot, and so he had a
very rough childhood and early adult life. He worked hard
all his life to make a better home for his children.
None of you know him, and the weirdly hostile comments
about him are uncalled for. He's passed now, but please
let him rest. He was not a perfect person, but
he was a good father despite his flaws. My ex

(48:05):
wife was not cheating on our previous boyfriend. We were
talking in messages and nothing happened. Her boyfriend was abusive
towards her and she was scared and she needed a
friendly person she knew just to talk about it. I
really hope that people have been constantly messaging me about
how she's a terrible person or worse where both terrible
people are never put in an abusive situation. She was

(48:27):
trying to survive the best way she could, and despite
us both wanting to, we did not do anything while
she was actually dating the ex. Everyone keeps questioning why
my late father in law hated me. I think I
might not have written some previous posts very well. He
did not just hate me. He hated everyone outside of
his family. That is important to know. My ex wife
has many sisters and he didn't get along with any

(48:49):
of their husbands. I was the favorite son in law,
but that might just be because my ex wife is
the youngest child. Also, my late mother in law loved me,
which carried over to my late father in law as well.
Difficult person to get along with, but he did not
just hate me, or at least he did not hate
me the most. I don't know why he was like that,
but he had a complicated life, like I said before,

(49:09):
but you know it's not complicated listening to full episodes
with stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
or your favorite podcast to happen Sir job Ogey story
time Boom boom boom. And there is a little bit
left to this story. But Sophie says Opie should have
done therapy when they split so he could recover properly.
She wants kids, et cetera. She might not want to

(49:30):
look around and try dating after her failed attempt with
her ex.

Speaker 4 (49:34):
Also, it feels like they're both going to the default.
They've known each other for nine years. Absolutely, my ex,
I'm breaking up with my ax. Oh, I know that
my other ex.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
Is there, and it is like someone safe so what
I know.

Speaker 4 (49:48):
And I know he mentions that he's not lonely and
he's trying to get over the loneliness, and he doesn't
want to be in this relationship because of loneliness.

Speaker 3 (49:56):
That's the case. He there because of he is lonely.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
Yeah, I think I think he is there in part
of loneliness, which is I mean, you know, sad, it
is sad, and he is normal. Is normal to want
to do that. I think he and it seems like
he is aware, but I think he just needs to
be very aware and bring this up in therapy so
he doesn't rely on his wife as a person to

(50:20):
escape loneliness. Like, no, this is like I want to
be in this relationship because I want to be in
this relationship with you, not because I'm sad and hour
I'm lonely or I have no one else.

Speaker 5 (50:29):
And that goes for anyone listening or watching.

Speaker 6 (50:31):
Your partner should not be your main source of happiness
or you know, fixing your loneliness.

Speaker 1 (50:36):
That's not how it should be.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
Exactly absolutely, because that's a lot for you and also
a lot for the person to like a lot of
baggage for that person. Yeah, yeah, I think it's just
like always your partner should never be your you know,
the only person that you're in the support group.

Speaker 4 (50:52):
I mean that should be your priority in absolute Yeah,
priority is to talk on the only person you hang
out with support group.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
Yeah, says The fact that he was treated the best
out of all the sister in laws says something too.

Speaker 3 (51:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
I mean his father led to everyone, but he hated
Op the least.

Speaker 5 (51:09):
I guess that's you take what you can get.

Speaker 2 (51:12):
Goodness, gracious, dude, do you have any final thoughts? Riley?
That will take five minutes?

Speaker 3 (51:19):
No, we're already at like seven minut You can just finish.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
It well to say a final thought? I did final.

Speaker 6 (51:24):
Thoughts, No thoughts, Just keep doing what you're doing, OPI. Honestly,
the therapy is great. This was a pretty good ending
to a story like we also.

Speaker 2 (51:35):
Freaking four years man, or actually even longer.

Speaker 5 (51:37):
Than yeah, way longer.

Speaker 1 (51:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:38):
However, a lot of comments and even more messages from
that time are really hostile towards my ex wife in particular.
I don't want to address these messages because those these
people don't need any more fuel for their hate. But
please remember that the people you're reading about are real
people people, not just stories on your posts. And that
is the end of that story.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
Dang, Yeah, that was one heck of a heck of
a saga. Kodness gracious.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
Yeah, I think Lisa marisas now it's negative, But sadly,
I think twelve months down the line, or six months
after they move in together, it will end again, you think, so,
I don't know. I think that they're taking the rights.
I'm hopeful. I'm actually pretty hopeful about this because I
think that they are taking the right steps. Yeah, I think,

(52:22):
of course there's always a chance that this could not
work out, but I think that's true of any relationship.

Speaker 4 (52:27):
They could be taking the right steps. I just I
don't have all the answers. One, why did the dad
hate Op?

Speaker 2 (52:34):
Two?

Speaker 3 (52:35):
Why did she?

Speaker 4 (52:35):
I mean, I understand why she gave up, but why
did she all of a sudden we want to get
back with Op.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
Because I think she's taken four years and she's been
in a relationship that wasn't great. And I'm sure it's
you know, I'm sure there is some bias or like
or there is something of there's just like seeing that
this API is safe.

Speaker 4 (52:54):
There's big there's this big elephant in the room no
one's talking about, and I don't know what it looks
like or really what it is is we're not addressing
it head on.

Speaker 2 (53:02):
Well, I think that's what therapy is for. Leesbury says
they are taking the right steps, but he is too
lonely and will make her his world and she is
using him as a safety net after an abusive relationship.
And I think, yeah, I think that's a possibility. But yeah,
I think that if they go to therapy and they
put in the work and stuff and have these conversations,
probably have to work out because they didn't have that before.
It seems like op was pretty kind of either didn't

(53:24):
believe in therapy or just like hesitant about it, and
now is a little bit more you know, okay.

Speaker 3 (53:29):
With doing it.

Speaker 2 (53:30):
Yeah, I think a good relationship is being having a
good relationship with your partner, having a good relationship with yourself,
and having a good relationship with your support your broader
support system. True, but that is the end of that episode.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
Hey y'all, it's John og host here.

Speaker 7 (53:47):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a
quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
This is an episode from deep within the archives.

Speaker 5 (53:53):
Time for okop relash.

Speaker 7 (53:57):
It's just crazy because I evicted my fiance. But you'll
never guess why I had to do it.

Speaker 1 (54:02):
You just had to do it.

Speaker 3 (54:04):
I just have to.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
I just have to. I don't care if we're married.
I care that I want you out of a house.
I want it. Yeah. Yeah, we want to say we
share a life, not living quarters. Back to me, I
said I wanted to marry you and not live with you.

Speaker 3 (54:18):
Yeah, why would you ever think.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
That death to us part except you know, the whole
part of life. Except like I want us to be separate,
in separate houses and rooms and yeah, never talk to
each other. You'll actually you know, it just makes it
a good point. Should we just get a divorce?

Speaker 3 (54:38):
Why don't we stop before we get started?

Speaker 7 (54:41):
I twenty five female, own a beautiful four bedroom house.

Speaker 1 (54:44):
Flex.

Speaker 7 (54:45):
I bought it when I was twenty three, flex after
letting my business partner take our shared assets in exchange
for six hundred.

Speaker 1 (54:52):
Thousand bucker rooneys FLEs. It'll be flexing me like three
times right out the gate. Seriously, Like I.

Speaker 3 (55:01):
Get there rich, I gave my assets and you gave
me six hundred.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
Yeah, what assets assets?

Speaker 7 (55:11):
Oh god, Now we owned a few properties together since
we had bought our first place at twenty or twenty one. Damn,
let's not me again, bro. We did this back when
we were dating. Even though we didn't work out, we
stayed in business together. I closed on my own house
a few months after my twenty third birthday. I had
only been working part time while I was managing our properties,

(55:33):
so aside from my bed and some little things from
my apartment, I stayed in the house for months, which
was basically empty.

Speaker 1 (55:39):
Ok.

Speaker 3 (55:40):
I had always wanted to be a pastry chef.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
I love how she goes from like tycoon business woman
with six hundred K to a pastry chef. Like that's
sounds sick. I love it very different. Oh yeah, yeah,
I need the need. I mean I have the need.

Speaker 7 (55:59):
There's a local community college program that lets you get
your certificate in almost anything for free with just sixteen
weeks of classes.

Speaker 1 (56:06):
Yeah. I like low key community colleges. So sec there's
they have diving classes that's uh Santa Monica.

Speaker 7 (56:12):
And if you choose to continue afterwards, your credits will
roll over to the next place you go.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
Amazing.

Speaker 7 (56:17):
That's when I met my fiance James Mail twenty seven.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
Oh James, God, James. He's a pastry chef that knew
his way around that dough. Oh god, he could need
that thing. What could he do to these lips? And
I'm talking about the lips underneath these lips, Oh God,
to need those around. That's one pastry you don't need
to be careful with. Mm. Yeah, just just have your

(56:42):
way with it. Fill me with your cream. I want to.
I want to cream filled jelly donut.

Speaker 7 (56:50):
This got this got too intimate. We get so apologize
for being turned off. Oh wow, you know what you know?
I my fetish are my own Sam. Okay, God, let
me have my face. James was a chef at a
high end restaurants Ooh Swanky. He had been working there

(57:11):
since he was sixteen, and he started as a busser
and worked his way.

Speaker 3 (57:14):
All the way up to the top.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
Baby. Oh yeah, he's worked his way so much to
the top that he could be on top of me.

Speaker 7 (57:21):
Oh oh well. He had a lot of experience. He
wanted to have a degree to back it up.

Speaker 1 (57:26):
Nice.

Speaker 7 (57:27):
We hit it off pretty quickly. He even taught me
how to drive, helped me develop recipes and helped me
pick out the perfect spot for my own bakery.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
Okay, James, dude, James is helping out.

Speaker 3 (57:37):
Dude, he's great.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
Yeah, he's killing it.

Speaker 7 (57:39):
He proposed to me in Jamaica on August eighth, twenty
twenty two.

Speaker 1 (57:43):
Wow, ingrats, Gratso dude, this man is doing it. D Yeah, dude, yeah,
uh was it in Jake, make a jake, make a jake,
make her very happy?

Speaker 3 (57:55):
Yeah, except it's James.

Speaker 7 (57:58):
Oh, James makers right there.

Speaker 3 (58:02):
It was right there. That's fun. Have a less basic name. James.

Speaker 1 (58:08):
Oh, I mean James. Yes, it's James.

Speaker 7 (58:10):
I was like, wait, wait, hold on, I got to
check myself when we got back home from Jamaica.

Speaker 1 (58:15):
I'm moved in with him. Oh okay, So things seem
to be progressing as a normal fiance relationship would, and
it's going to end perfectly. Yeah, right right, according to
the title, it was, it was great, right. We lived
happily ever after. So I started my life as a
pastry shop. Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 7 (58:34):
I've been perfecting recipes in my house as I had
taken the time to make the kitchen to my own liking.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
Okay, she's living with James in his house. Yes, but
she's baking in this four bedroom house that she was
talking about.

Speaker 3 (58:51):
She had her perfect kitchen.

Speaker 1 (58:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (58:53):
I tend to put my phone on do not disturb,
but just to make sure I have no distractions.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
Uh, I'm baking. Do not disturb me. Do not even
look at me.

Speaker 7 (59:04):
There have been a few times where I've missed calls
from James, and I see that it really bothers him.
But it's not like I go at random times and
I have a set schedule, and I have a set
schedule that I rarely deviate from.

Speaker 6 (59:15):
You.

Speaker 1 (59:15):
Yeah, I'm baking from nine am to nine pm. Come
on every fricing day, James. I know we just got married,
but get the fuck out of my banking Come on,
get the fuck out of my bakerry.

Speaker 7 (59:27):
About a week ago, I finished up baking quite early
and ended up taking a nap while my phone was
still on do not disturb. Okay, I woke up to
James banging on the door. He told me he'd been
calling me for hours straight.

Speaker 1 (59:44):
Were you supposed to meet up or something? Maybe?

Speaker 7 (59:47):
I told him I had forgotten to take my phone
off do not disturb. He suggested that he should have
a key that he could use for emergencies or in
case something happens from my place.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Yo, slow down, what do you think we're married? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
Yes, guess guess what she told him, Sam?

Speaker 1 (01:00:01):
What she said?

Speaker 3 (01:00:03):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
How fare you? Does she have a key to his place?
She lives there? Does that not seem a little? It
seems a little.

Speaker 7 (01:00:11):
Unbalanced, Sam, she should get the key to his house?
Why would she ever give her key to him?

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
Why? What? Equality? Yeah? What being fair? Disgusting? I think
you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right,
you know, to your side, Like this is a weird
relationship dynamic, all right?

Speaker 6 (01:00:32):
Now?

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
You know, you know I was, I was rooting for
for James. But now she's just kind of like.

Speaker 7 (01:00:37):
She she's she's fumbling the back James bro head chef
for posing in Jamaica.

Speaker 6 (01:00:45):
God.

Speaker 7 (01:00:47):
So the reason I said no is because this is
my safe space and I'm still adjusting to living with
someone together. The other day, when I finished baking, I
noticed it was raining, and I decided to call James
because I don't feel comfort for driving in the rain.
He didn't call me when he got here, He just
knocked on the door, and when I opened it, He
started complaining about getting wet while waiting for me and

(01:01:09):
said that he wouldn't have to wait if he had
a key.

Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
He's making great points, you know, he's making great points
if you're gonna marry like I would give. I'm not
married to my girlfriend. Yeah, like we don't have keys
for each other, but we have like lock boxes. Yeah,
you know, and she has she she might as well
have a key because she knows that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:31):
She comes and goes as she comes and goes.

Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
And she pleases. Yeah, yeah she does. I'm sorry, you know,
I respectfully responsibility for that one.

Speaker 3 (01:01:43):
Respectfully. They'll catchy for him.

Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
But yeah, that just seems like it seems like she's like,
like when you're getting married, I feel you you should
share equally, And it just doesn't seem like there's an
equal sharing right here. If he's opening up his place,
she should open up hers.

Speaker 7 (01:02:01):
That's the thing. Plane and simple, plain and simple. I
pointed out that he could have just called me and
I would have just come to the car.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
Not true. She's do not disturb, well then.

Speaker 3 (01:02:15):
Hack apple, turn it off.

Speaker 1 (01:02:18):
Simple show John out here.

Speaker 7 (01:02:21):
He said that wasn't the point, and me not giving
him a key was a slap in the face. Oh,
yesterday I noticed he had one of those minute keys
in his glove compartments.

Speaker 1 (01:02:34):
Oh shit, so he copied the key without her consent?

Speaker 7 (01:02:37):
Oh yes, I found it while I was looking for
my lip glass that I left in his car, and
I immediately knew what he did.

Speaker 1 (01:02:48):
Oh shit.

Speaker 7 (01:02:49):
So I called my brother to help me change the locks.
Last night at dinner, I let him know I found
the key, and I told him he wouldn't be able
to use it on anything because I changed the lox
and he is out really now, Okay, then we had
a huge argument and we literally haven't even spoken since.

Speaker 3 (01:03:10):
Am I the ale?

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
Okay? I would like to first point out that this
relationship seems to not be great, like like like there's
some issues all righty, Like if you're having all these
like I'm not saying like don't get married, but you
got a lot to talk about before you actually go
through this with this wedding. Yeah. So I think everyone's

(01:03:34):
kind of the a hole here a little bit. So
I think ops the a hole for not giving like
a key to her place. Yeah, Like if if you're
living in his place, yes, and you have a key
to his place, and you're getting married. So if you
are getting married, right, if she has a key to
his place, I just I really think that he should

(01:03:58):
also have a key to her place. Yeah, I think
it's fair. I think marriage is about sharing. It's about like,
like you know, putting your life together. Like why get
married if you're not going to actually like share what
you what you have to get? Like that isn't that
like what marriage is? Yeah?

Speaker 7 (01:04:12):
And and and again, like specifically because she has a
key and lives in his place, Yeah, it's like that's
there's just I don't know, I just can't see a
reason why.

Speaker 1 (01:04:21):
Yeah, it seems like there needs to be something parody here.
But two, I do think James is the a whole
a little bit too, Yes, because like obviously she has
some weird thing about not giving the key to her
place to this guy, which big red flag if you
don't trust this guy enough to give a key to him,
not because of anything James did, but just because like

(01:04:42):
a relationship doesn't seem solid, but like James knowing that
you were like insecure about that or feeling weird about that,
Like they shouldn't have gone behind your back, no and
created a key like that that doesn't show a lot
of trust either. I think there's a lack of trust
in both sides.

Speaker 7 (01:04:56):
And yeah, like I feel like like and also like
the do not disturb thing also I caught on too,
because it's like it's like a little thing of her
Like James is like, okay, like there's times where I
would like to get in touch with you. You know,
you don't have to, you know, have it on all
the time if you prefer doing that for work or whatever.
But it just seems like she kind of just like

(01:05:17):
swept aside his like.

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
Concern without what it seems like she like she's really
inconveniencing him. Yeah, Like I don't know if you caught it,
but she's like, yeah, it was raining, I didn't want
to drive, so I called him to come over to
drive me, and I'm waiting in the rain. Could I
just please have a key to your place to wait
in the rain the other time, Like I imagine I

(01:05:41):
shouldn't say this, but I imagined they had planned to
meet and she fell asleep and he was going to
pick her up because she doesn't maybe drive well or whatever,
because she said she had trouble driving in the rain
or doesn't have a car.

Speaker 3 (01:05:52):
He taught she doesn't like to drive, right, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
But like they were probably supposed to meet and he's
waiting for fucking three hours, she's napping. I mean, I
understand James's frustration or sure should have he got? Should
he have gone behind your back? And the copy of
the key? Now? No, But I like, I understand where
it's coming from.

Speaker 7 (01:06:14):
I totally get I totally get it. But you know
what people should do behind other people's back, Sam.

Speaker 1 (01:06:20):
Oh, they should tell the stories of what goes on
behind those backs on our show kop show. Oh yes,
send him in and we read him right here on
the show. Baby that we do. But if you want
more of these episodes, which I feel like we've been
to getting like a lot of love.

Speaker 7 (01:06:36):
On YouTube lately, I feel like we've been I feel
like a lot more positivity, yeah, which I really like.

Speaker 1 (01:06:42):
I I appreciate you guys. Like, actually, I'm I'm not
proud of this, but I deleted a comment that someone said.
Someone said I was talking about like how strict my
parents were, and someone said, I'm sick of this guy
always dun't be his childhood trauma on us, And I'm like,

(01:07:05):
fuck you.

Speaker 7 (01:07:06):
I have to There was one comment. I forget what
it was, but I sent it to you and Riley.
I have to find it and read it really quick.

Speaker 1 (01:07:13):
Okay, here I am open up to you, and this
is what I get. To be clear, I had a
great childhood, to be clear. To be clear, yes it
was awesome. It was awesome. Were my parents strict? Yes,
But that's it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:29):
Just is what you're just sharing. You're just sharing your experience.

Speaker 1 (01:07:31):
You're just sharing my experience. I'm not bitter about it.
Bitter about that comment though.

Speaker 7 (01:07:36):
Okay, this is one of the negative comments that literally
gives me fuel. So it was it was it was
a short word. Basically, it was my face the whole
time I was reading the story. H this guy looks
like if Sid from Toy Story and Donkey had a
man child.

Speaker 1 (01:07:59):
My god, I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:03):
I don't know.

Speaker 7 (01:08:04):
I don't know what's wrong with me. But you have
a you have different programming. My brain is different.

Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
Yeah. I literally think it comes back to that, Like,
I remember you told me that story about the the
uh what was it potato or like fry? Like other
people called you fry? Yeah? What do you call them? Yeah?

Speaker 7 (01:08:24):
Yeah, So people would call me Fry is like meant
to be like an insult, like in a bullying way.
But then somehow we created this game where I was
the Fry and basically I was the tag god and
I was the only one that could tag people and
if I tagged them, they were nuts and they were out.

Speaker 1 (01:08:39):
I feel like this is just the grown up version
of that game. I'm just I'm just curving and baby,
yeah yeah, turning and turning all those haters into nuts.
But John, have you seen uh these these what these nuts?

Speaker 3 (01:08:55):
Oh god?

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
These nutty next stories? My mom won't leave me alone
in the shower. Okayop, this is Okayop. I'm Samuel Dnor
and I'm John Fry and we tell the funniest stories
on the internet. And John, I don't know if like
when you were growing up this ever happened to you,
but like did your parents ever just like knocked and

(01:09:18):
like bust in your room without man?

Speaker 7 (01:09:22):
There were some close calls, you know, there are some
close calls.

Speaker 1 (01:09:26):
My my parents are like a big fan of like
knocking but then just going in regardless.

Speaker 3 (01:09:32):
That's an interesting way said.

Speaker 1 (01:09:34):
At the knock. But I have I have a video
that's gonna up the ante. Okay, okay, my mom won't
leave me alone in the.

Speaker 3 (01:09:43):
Shower, Billy, don't drop me.

Speaker 1 (01:09:45):
Oh my god, Mom's got that strap on, ready to
take advantage of any opportunity, starting off with a bang,
started off with a bangers. Seriously, you're no pun and tundo. Okay.
I've posted a few times in the subreddit about my

(01:10:05):
narcissistic mom and I've received overwhelming support. But something struck
me the other day. And it wasn't that strap on
the shower.

Speaker 7 (01:10:13):
Wasn't that big piece of plastic rates special.

Speaker 1 (01:10:16):
Delivery argal Mom deliverom boxes all day, and I thought
i'd share. I live with my narcissistic mom and my
regular dad. Still I love how it's like. Still, I'm
twenty four. A year and a half ago, my dad
invited my boyfriend of three years to come live with
us when his family was going through a hard time.
We had the money to take him in. My family

(01:10:37):
loves him, and my dad actually suggested it. My father
is overwhelmingly supportive, both emotionally and financially. But that doesn't
make my narcissistic mom any less of a narcissistic mom.
Uh Oh, it just gives me a little more support.
My narcissistic mom has certain ideas of privacy, and we're
not talking like Snowden privacy making sure all of our

(01:10:58):
government secrets are out there in the world. We're talking
about she's just all up in your busness. There was none.
I was not safe to be alone and uninterrupted anywhere
in my house if she was awake. It didn't matter
if the door was closed. She had access to that room,
whether someone was in it or not. All access passed,
all like this level.

Speaker 3 (01:11:18):
Five clearance for anywhere in the.

Speaker 1 (01:11:20):
House anytime she wants.

Speaker 3 (01:11:21):
But that's weird.

Speaker 7 (01:11:22):
It's like, what do you just barge into a room
when someone's napping and like take a call or something.

Speaker 1 (01:11:26):
Yeah, hey, this is my house.

Speaker 7 (01:11:28):
I can call wherever I want to unless they have
like two rooms, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:11:31):
I don't know. I think it's just a narcisstic mom.

Speaker 3 (01:11:33):
It's just a narcissistic mom opening them.

Speaker 1 (01:11:35):
Doors, opening them doors. When I was a child, she
would walk into the bathroom or my bedroom without second thought,
which I guess is okay if you're little. But I
always thought, okay, it's my mom, she changed my diapers whatever.
But it started to get really weird. When I went
through and finished puberty. My mother would burst through the
bathroom door the exact moment when I was in the

(01:11:56):
shower to use the toilets. Oh my god, that's weird,
but it's especially weird when we have a perfectly functioning
second bathroom.

Speaker 3 (01:12:06):
Honestly, this takes the cake.

Speaker 7 (01:12:07):
Your mom is using the toilet while you are in
the shower, so let's.

Speaker 1 (01:12:12):
Just disregard the fact that she's thinking up the place
while you're trying to enjoy a nice, relaxing shower. So
she's just freaking weird.

Speaker 3 (01:12:19):
Bro, that's absolutely like way way weird.

Speaker 1 (01:12:23):
No no, no, no no no no no no no no
no no. This was bothersome. Yes, but it happened constantly.
Almost every shower I took was interrupted. And not only that,
my mother would make comments about how I washed myself
or shaved my legs or whatever to like, hey, make
should have gett into the crack, Jimmy or Jamie or Jessica.

Speaker 3 (01:12:42):
Good god, oh gosh, yeah, this this spy. Oh my goodness,
this is just slow.

Speaker 1 (01:12:51):
She would literally coach me on how to shower and
tell me, hey, you're doing it all wrong. All right,
Like this is really weird, but I'd like to take
a moment. There are a lot of people that never
learned how to poop properly because like they didn't have
someone in the room like coaching them.

Speaker 3 (01:13:06):
Oh, like you're supposed to like lift your legs or
or what's that? Like, squatty potty er.

Speaker 1 (01:13:11):
We don't talk about a bathroom. We don't talk about
It's unfortunate. Yeah, we need potty trainers, right, Potty training
shouldn't end at three. We need potty contillion because like,
there are people on Reddit that are like, how do
you tell whether you're finished, you know, wiping, And it's like, bruh,
you check the scorecard and if you're leaving ones all
over that dishue pavor, you're not done that. Some people

(01:13:34):
will just put their underwear on and not even check
the scorecard to see if they're done wiping the scorecard.
That's great, check the scorecard. Several years ago, my grandfather
with late stage Alzheimer's would wander into our house and
just look for people to talk to. He would open
the door while you were using the bathroom to talk
to you. And we did everything we could to stop him,

(01:13:54):
leaving notes on the door saying, don't come in. Whatever
we could think of. Sadly, we have to replace the
bathroom door with a door with a lock. None of
our internal doors in the house have locks, by the way, oh,
which I guess, which is why part of system.

Speaker 3 (01:14:07):
Open door policy system.

Speaker 1 (01:14:09):
This was great for op though, because I would lock
the door constantly to keep my mother and my grandfather,
but mostly my mother out. Thank god, my mother realized
what I was doing locking that door taking a dumper,
and once my grandfather passed away, she broke the lock
on the door so I could no longer lock her out.
My father will always knock on my bedroom door, especially

(01:14:30):
since my boyfriend both lives and sleeps with me in
my room. Is knocked at some definitely inopportunity times, sure,
but he's always knocked. Has been fine, they're doing the dirty.
The last straw was my mother walking in constantly, even
once my boyfriend moved in trying to get a live show.
Got to pay for that all my evidence. She walked

(01:14:52):
in on me changing, on him changing, and one time
she walked in on the two of us in an
intimate situation. Oh god, my mother was furious and went
to my father about how she could do something like
that in our house, and my father finally went off
on her. She was being disrespectful to me for not
respecting my privacy. I had no way of locking her

(01:15:14):
out of my room. Doors are old and can't be replaced.
The doors with flocks really can't be replaced with other doors. Sure,
I'm pretty sure there's a door guy that I.

Speaker 7 (01:15:21):
Feel like that's another lie in her kingdom of lawlessness.

Speaker 1 (01:15:25):
He said that it was my space and I was
an adult. He gave her a thorough talking to about respect,
r espect and the fact that she didn't have any
for me. But what was worse was that it was
downright extremely rude to my boyfriend who now lived with us.
He even paid my dad rents.

Speaker 3 (01:15:42):
Wow, even when they didn't ask for it.

Speaker 1 (01:15:43):
Yeah, that's cool. So he deserved the privacy that she
was not giving to him. Ever since that talk, she's
knocked when coming into my bedroom and bathroom. Thank the Lord,
that's what should have been happening this whole time. This
is the bare minimum, bro, That's basically it.

Speaker 7 (01:15:56):
It's a tricky situation because you're like, you're living with
your parents with your partner.

Speaker 1 (01:16:00):
Yeah, so it's like you gotta you gotta give some
space for naughty time.

Speaker 7 (01:16:04):
Yeah, yeah, it's it's yeah, wow man, that that mom
is absolutely and I mean so many lines, so many
lines have been crossed.

Speaker 3 (01:16:14):
But you know, what's a line you should always cross?

Speaker 1 (01:16:17):
Yeah? What's the line you should always cross? Crossing the line.

Speaker 3 (01:16:20):
To that freaking subscribe, but subscribe.

Speaker 1 (01:16:24):
Follow us on Spotify, you know, if you want to
be a real bro, support us on Patreon. That's right,
like Kathy quickly, Kathy quickly, Come on, Kathy, have actually
heard her call outs yet?

Speaker 7 (01:16:35):
I think she's commented on like the initial one, but
we've had we.

Speaker 1 (01:16:39):
Have so many. Kathy. Cathy are really our hero. We
love you, Kathy. That's right, forever and ever.

Speaker 7 (01:16:49):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (01:16:50):
I think with that, we bid we bid a do
see

Speaker 3 (01:16:52):
You next time,

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My girlfriend’s dad REFUSED to give me his blessing to marry her… after FIVE YEARS! | Reddit Stories | EP2039

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My girlfriend’s dad REFUSED to give me his blessing to marry her… after FIVE YEARS! | Reddit Stories | EP2039