My half sibling is actually my biological sibling…I don’t know how to tell my parents! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP1970 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
My half sibling is actually my biological sibling. I don't
know how to tell my parents.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Oh way, what the first sentence?

Speaker 1 (00:10):
I think I need to provide context on this one.
Yeah you think Hello. My twenty five female parents divorced
when I was three. They just didn't think they loved
each other anymore and started dating other people. My mom,
my mom, my mom, my mom, my mom started dating dating.
My mom got married after two years when I was five,
and gave birth to my half brother two years after that.

(00:32):
By the way, this comes from user numerous underscore contexts
underscore two five five on the r slash Okay storytime
sub reddit. So my father married when I was eleven,
but they didn't have any kids. I lived with my
mom on workdays and live on weekends with my dad.
I have a very good and healthy relationship with both
my parents and my brother. I wanted to do those

(00:52):
twenty three in me tests since the only thing I
know about my ancestry is that my dad is Russian.
It'll target it here, are you Russian? I'm half Russian.
I was talking to my now eighteen year old brother
and asked him if he wanted to do it with
me and he said. Yeah. So I send two samples
to the lab and the results came yesterday and I
opened them and as the title says, we are full

(01:13):
biological siblings.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Shocking. Wait, so so one of the parents cheated. Who's
this child belonged to? No, the mom or the dad?

Speaker 1 (01:23):
I think both?

Speaker 3 (01:25):
No, the brother, Oh, the brother, I think brother.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
This is the dad, dad's son. Okay, so the dad
cheated on his current wife with me, with me with
his Yeah, with OPI's mom. Oh, I guess they did
love each other a little bit.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
It's very weird.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yeah, this is very weird because it's like half backtrack.
I mean, at the end of the day, siblings are yourself.
I can't be my stepfather's child because my ancestry obviously
indicates that I am half East European, Russian and other
parts of Europe, which my stepfather clearly isn't. In my
siblings well, now full siblings. I guess at mom's child

(02:05):
ancestry is similar to my ancestry, so that could only
mean that my brother is my dad's son. I really
don't see the similarity between him and my dad, but
maybe it's because my brother is a twin of my mom.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
Like looks so much like her.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, I feel like, why don't you just do a
twenty three and me test on everyone?

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Then? Yeah, it's like, hey, hello, here you go, please
take these no reason.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
So my mom cheated on my stepfather with my dad
after saying that they didn't love each other anymore. What
But I don't want to jump into conclusions, and I
will ask my mom about this today when I get
out of work. So wish me luck, good luck, best
of luck. Oh man, common sir, I would get a
test for you and your father. First. DNA test will

(02:49):
show that siblings are related, but their level of relatedness
can vary.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
And also just to explain what's going on right now
for those.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
Who are compu very was very confusing.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Basically, we have OPI had.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
OPI had parents. Oh, she's got a board, all right, parent.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
So we've got uh to write it down. Yeah, we
have Opie's dad and mom were together and they had
op op. Yes, and then the mom and dad got remarried.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah, mom and dad got divorced.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
Yeah, so mom gets me remarried to step DoD and
everyone thinks that the mom and stepdad had a son,
but instead the son was actually Opie's bioparents.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yes, so they have so presumably Opie and her half brother. Well,
Opie and her half brother. They did a twenty three
and me test just to check the ancestry and it
showed the results that they are full biological There we go.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
So mom is married. Mom's married to step dad, but
dad and mom had two kids, but they thought this
guy was the step dad's.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
Yeah, there you go. Explanation.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Yeah, so there was cheating. There was cheating, but I
like that from slithy.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
Either mom cheated to begin with or her new husband
with her new husband, or cheated with OPI's dad.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
It's one or the other. What because we don't know.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
The timeframe, I guess the time frame finding the time.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
I wanted to say this is an update, guys. I
wanted to say that I really appreciate your support, and
I would like to answer some questions before I continue. Yes,
my father is my biological dad, not just because he
is Russian, but because we have taken a DNA test
for another thing, not because my dad thought I wasn't his,
so get it out of your head. And he's actually
the best dad ever. No, Mom didn't cheat on my

(04:55):
dad in their relationship. My stepfather is very Italian with
the accent and everything. Both me and my brother don't
have a spec of Italian in the results.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
Okay, so, but she did cheat on the stepsdell.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
She said she his mother would come from Italy and
visit us. No, there is no third shooter. Now let's
get to the actual update. My mom and I have
this tradition we spend the evening together like a girl's
night every once in two months. I asked her if
we could do it tonight. It's two am currently, so
it was technically yesterday, and she said yes. I got

(05:28):
to her home and we did what we usually do,
bake something, eat the bake something while watching a movie
in my choice, and talk about things while wearing a
weird facial masks. Last night girls nay, honestly, could be
boys night too. I decided that since the mood is
so cool, why not ask her the question. I was like, hey, Mom,
you know about those twenty three and me tester right?

(05:50):
She didn't, so I started giving a speech about what
the about the test. After explaining it, I told her
I did it with my brother Jordan, and it came
out weird. She asked what I meant by weird. I
told her that the test said that we are fully
related to one another, and I kind of laughed, but
she stayed quiet. Uh, it was wrong, right, Mom, right right.

(06:10):
She got angry at me and asked me why did
the test with my brother without asking her first. That's
when the realization hit me. I got defensive and asked
her if she was serious. She apologized and just sat
there for a minute or two. She told me that
it was a one time mistake.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
It only takes one time.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
So basically, nineteen years ago, I was in my dad's
home napping. Mom came to take me, but I was
sleeping and Dad told her that she could come later
and take me or stay and pack my things before
I left her home. It was a weird sentence. She
stayed and they ended up doing the dirty. I guess
don't let anyone tell you that sleeping doesn't save lives,

(06:50):
because it created my brother's role.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
I don't know sure.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
Okay, huh does anyone say that save lives?

Speaker 1 (06:58):
I think create I was pissed at Mom and dad
and asked her how she could do that. She said
that it was in an accident and they have never
done it after that day. And she didn't even know
that my brother was my dad's until now. I was
angry at both of them. They don't understand how much
of a problem this could create. My brother literally had

(07:19):
a fat crush on my cousin from my dad's side.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
Oh yeah, that would just be a little weird in general.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
This is also weird, even though he's like the half
bread well now our dad, I guess, but it faded away.
Jesus Christ. I even helped him flirt with her.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Why why would you want to do that even if
he was your like half brother.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
Is your half brother still related?

Speaker 2 (07:40):
It's still blood and well not blood really, it wouldn't
be technically blood related because it would be on the
dad's side. But still weird.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
It's still weird, but at the end, now it is
blood that is blood. Crap. I don't even know what
to say. I am still too shocked and disgusted at
the brother and the cousin thing or just no. Jordan
literally spent years learning Italian just to speak to his grandma.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
Okay, well you know, maybe he's learned Italian, so it's
not always.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
I think I need a proper DNA test without my
brother knowing to get some kind of closure. Relevant comments.
Does Opie's stepfather believe he's Jordan's father and he was
told of the DNA results? Op, Yes, he thinks he
is that his dad and no we didn't Another redditor. Wow,
what a bombshell. It's understandable that you're feeling shocked and disgusted.
This revelation changes everything. It's going to take some time

(08:25):
to process. Another redditor. I'm sorry your family is going
to be forced to deal with the one time mistake
your mom and dad made. I'm sorry your brother and
his dad, the man who raised him, are the ones
who are going to pay for it the most. To
learn your mom cheated as hard. But to learn your
son is not yours and your wife cheated with her
ex is going to destroy him.

Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
To learn your dad is not your bio dad because
your mom cheated is going to destroy your brother. I
know you op feel this is hard for you, but
it is going to be so much harder for your brother.
Stick together and hold tight to your relationship.

Speaker 3 (08:58):
Damn.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah, this is a This is gonna be hard to
evese once it comes out, and it's gonna come out
because OPI already did the DNA test, presumably with her
half brother.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
Yeah, by the way, you can join us live on YouTube.
I had no good segue for that one. That one
was just a you can join us live on YouTube
every weekday three pm PSD. Just tap our profile.

Speaker 3 (09:20):
Tap it.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Also, Crow Queen, thank you for being a member for
six months. My husband thought he was only child until
at forty eight, his half brother's daughter reached out to
him on behalf of her dad thanks to ancestry results.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
Wow. Yeah, it always comes out, who's the a hole here?

Speaker 2 (09:37):
Messy? Those parents cheating the parents nineteen.

Speaker 1 (09:41):
Years that's wild, that's kind of wow.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
Crazy. No, people always think they can get away with cheating,
but they can.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
I think the cousin thing was just the cousin thing
was like, let's throw this curve ball. Yeah, a little
bit more difficult to process.

Speaker 2 (09:58):
Wait, read some comments really quick.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
Uh, because the brother isn't related to the cousin if
the stepdad is the dad, right, But now we know
that the brother is fully cousin's blood related, and that
just makes things really weird, really really weird. That's the
end of the story. Guys.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
My husband has a twelve year old son, but he
didn't know about him. Damn after twelve years. I am
thirty female and my husband is thirty five male. We've
been married for almost eleven years. He recently found out
a few weeks ago that he has a twelve year
old son. His ex girl from from twelve years ago
reached out to him through a mutual friend and told

(10:37):
him the truth literally like a year after he got
a year before he got with Opie. Yeah, the son.

Speaker 3 (10:42):
It's crazy.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
By the way, this comes from wonderful bnut on the
ar slash Life Advice. Separated it. So she kept their
son a secret, supposedly due to the fact that they
had a bad breakout. That is not unless you are
in an unsafe situation. There's not an excuse for keeping
a child secret from another one like their parents.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
Vice the parent from child, child from parent. That's really
messed up. Not okay, So that's more than selfish.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
Yeah, that's my husband. During that time, he didn't know
she was pregnant, but he did try to reach out
and end on a better note and she never responded.
Now years later, she wants to fess up and tell
the truth. Even when my husband was getting prepared to
tell me. I could tell he was uneasy and I
was preparing for something completely unpleasant. I assumed maybe he'd cheated,
but he assured me he didn't. I was not happy

(11:29):
to hear this at all. Well, I mean, like, we
know he didn't cheat because the son is twelve years old. Yeah,
in your relationship is eleven. I'm trying to be there
for my husband, who is completely upset and disheartened that
he missed out on the majority of his son's childhood.
What makes us even more frustrating is that husband and
I don't have any kids. Unfortunately, We've been trying for
a baby for six years, to have a baby of

(11:50):
our own, and to find out that he's had a
son this whole time. Yeah, everyone around us is expecting
and experiencing parenthood and pregnancy. Male cousins have both been
pregnant at the same time. We're very close. When we
would all hang out, they would talk NonStop about their babies.
To be it was beyond awkward for me. We've tried
IVF and iuis. We've had a few miscarriages along the way,

(12:14):
So this is a frustrating thing to find out, and
it's so unfair. They would try to include me in
their baby convo by giving me sympathy, which I hate, hate,
hate being pitied by others, and telling me it'll happen
in God's timing. But it's so annoying to effing here,
that is. Why would you say that to someone who's
like having the fertility struggles to say, oh, you don't

(12:35):
happen in God's time? Shut up, that's not like, that's
not comforting.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, I'm having a baby, but yeah, it'll happen.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
It'll happen for you. Yeah, fertility is so damn cruel,
my God, it makes me hate my own body. And yes,
I met his kid. He's respectful and good. I can
tell he's adjusting to husband and his ex made an
agreement that he'd pick him up from school every day
and he'd spend some night slash weekends with us. It's
all so bizarre and sudden. I never would have thought

(13:02):
this would happen. I've been really sad lately. The one
thing I wanted to give my husband his first child,
an experienced parenthood with him, has already happened with someone else.
He is experiencing the deep love of his first child
with some other woman. It makes me so damn angry,
more than ever. My husband and I have been butting heads.
He feels like I'm not supportive enough because I'm not

(13:23):
super gung ho about him having a surprise son. We
were happier before this. Aside from infertility, We've never had
any huge issues until this arrived on our doorstep. I've
been a little aloof But how am I supposed to
feel or react? I this is this is tricky because
I understand what OPI's saying, Like, obviously this is a
shock and is eliciting a lot of you know, emotions

(13:45):
in her, but it is also really hard on him.
He missed out on twelve.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
Years, he had a son, and he's going through a lot,
going through wild like he wants to be there for
a son and this was never planned.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
Yeah. I also like her saying, oh he gets to
be you know, how he gets to have this child
and like this love with another woman just not really
the case he lost, as Jellybo says, he lost twelve years.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yeah, that's this is not this is not She's not op.
He is not being fair.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
Yeah, Like I know you want totally get.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
I get it, but you also got to put yourself
in his shoes and be like, he's probably processing all really. Yeah,
So to say it's unfair is one thing, but you
got it's like this guy is probably going through a
world open on him. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
I feel like it's very asinine for him to get
upset with me in any way after everything we've experienced
fertility wise. This is my life too, and I'm adjusting
just as much as he is. I didn't ask to
all of a sudden be a stepparent either. I'm having
trouble adjusting to my husband, and everyone around thinks I
should accept the situation immediately with open arms, which is
not you know, necessarily, you don't have to accept it immediately,

(14:54):
But no one understands what it's like to watch my
husband be a father suddenly and I'm not a mother.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
That you still can be an important figure in this
child's life.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
Absolutely, And also I think it is one thing to
be upset about the situation and another to be upset
at your husband.

Speaker 1 (15:10):
I've said the husband upset at the child. It seems
like you're like, oh, what are you doing.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
Like blaming them for something that was not in his candy.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
They both had just found out they both had no
control over this. Yeah, and they're trying to make the
best of the situation. Yeah, And you need to realize
that you have to be there for one your husband and.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
If you can't, then maybe you know it's okay if
you can't be a stepparent, if that's not something you saw,
and then maybe this is like a time where you
re reevaluate whether or not the relationship is going to continue.
But blaming it on him is not.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
No how I know you're trying to do your own
family and have your own family with your partner and
your husband, but this should also be like a kind
of like a positive sign, like I actually have a
chance to because you've had you tried so many times
to have a child. I know it's not your full
on child, but.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
It's still a relationship.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
You can sell a relationship and start a little bit later, sure,
but at least give you a basis.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
Helenna Bean says, I don't think she's doing anything wrong.
I got it.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
I just think it's a tricky situation.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
I think it's a tricky situation and she's right to
feel this way, but I think putting it on her
husband is is someone I'm.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
Being upset at the situation, being upset at the situation
very fair, Yeah, and thinking it's unfair again fair and if.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
She again, if she wants to step back from this relationship,
that is totally her right.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
Yeah, it's it's just this was laid out with no plan.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
It just happened, just happened, and now they're both having
to figure out.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
You kind of got to roll with the punches and
roll with the wave and just see how it goes.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
Yeah. And my husband is a great father. He's trying
hard to have a relationship with his son. They've been
going out alone and doing different activities. I just feel
so left out. Although fertility has been tough, I felt
like at least we're together. We went from not knowing
what parent who was like together and not being able
to relate to any parents at the dinner table to

(16:55):
now my husband gets to talk about having a son
and being excited and I have to sit there quiet.
I have nothing. Everyone gets to spoil their children and
watch them grow, and I get nothing. This is such
a kick in the effing face. Edit. Yes, he took
a paternity test and it was positive. What are even
the positives of being a step parent, and there are
some relevant comments, but I definitely think they both need
to go to therapy.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
They definitely need to go through it.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
I think having conversations is an important part of it,
Like they need to communicate about this because neither of
them were prepared to go through this.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
No, no one was prepared for this. You guys were
trying to do your own thing until this kind of
just got put on your doorstep in a matter, in
a matter. But yeah, it's a sticky and sucky situation,
especially since your husband's kind of nut.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
He's not gloating, he's just he's excited.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
But I totally understand where he's coming from, just like
like literally like in the chest. And I don't get
to enjoy that because she's been trying for six years
with him.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
Yeah, and this is just like it is a slap
in the face, especially with everything going on, like we've
been trying to do this. My cousins have kind of been.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
Like yucky or ever, Like it feels like everyone and
now it probably feels like the universe is.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, and now there's now this y has a kid.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
And now even he even my own husband. But I
don't get a kid a lot of people are saying therapy.
Helliann Bain says, I can't even imagine the depths of
despair she's feeling right now. Yeah, she's to be allowed
to feel whatever she feels, not judged, so she can
move on in a healthy way.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah, I think she just needs therapy.

Speaker 3 (18:21):
I think she knows therapy.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
But she also needs to talk to the husband like, hey, yes,
this is how I'm feeling. Yes, yeah, not not in
like an attacking way like this is your fault. This
is like we were strying to have a like we
were trying to have a family ourselves, and I'm you
you kind of have that.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
Now, And this is how I'm feeling. And I don't
know how.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
To do and I feel neglect her because you're spending
so much time with your your son, not our son. Yeah,
your son. It's just a really.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
Really really hard situation. Relevant comments though fix her upper one.
Ondred says, this is no doubt impossible to go through. Firstly, though,
a paternity test needs to be done, which we know
was done, and if it's positive, then he's going to
keep getting to know a SID doesn't sound like he's
raising a son with a deep love of the other woman,
though the situation is the for worse in for better
or for worse part of marriage, especially for you. Understandably,

(19:10):
you're not welcoming the situation or kid with open arms.
But the kid is blameless here. Your husband is blameless
in the fact that he didn't know, which is I
think we established that the boy has a dad that
he didn't know about before. Your husband is a son
that he didn't know about before, and in five years
and some change, the kid will be an adult. Your
husband isn't raising the kid, he's just getting to know him.
You have a unique opportunity to get to know him too.

(19:32):
This isn't his baby, and he's not getting to experience
child rearing without you. This is his mostly grown child
that he is getting to see once in a while.
I would suggest you tell your husband that you're bothered
by how you're feeling left out. This is exactly what
we say, and if he expects you to bond with
the kid, then he needs to include you more exactly,
and for your sake, try to get the know to
know the kid. It's easy to resent a child if

(19:54):
you don't have a relationship with them, but if you
foster that relationship and let it grow. That animosity is
likely to melt away, and you can foster a relationship
thus by joining us live every week to at three
pm PST.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
Just amazing.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
Thank you. I pray you find strength to take the
right path here. And that is the end of that story.
But yeah, definitely, I think I agree with that commentor
I think that's what we've been saying.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Yeah, like I'm not judging.

Speaker 3 (20:19):
We're not judging now her for having emotions.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
Like she's allowed all those emotions, and it is like
you're kicked when you're knocked down. The universe is just like,
is the universe mocking me?

Speaker 2 (20:29):
That's what it probably.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
Yeah, she feels it and that sucks. And the fact
that the husband, I mean the husband needs to understand
that it sucks for you. Yeah, but like he's also
shell shocked.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
He was kept from his son for twelve years. Yeah,
you're both going through a lot right now, and I
think maybe counseling is the best way.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
The biggest a hole are is the is the ex
absolutely brutal. My daughter chose her bio mom over me,
so I'm cutting her off. Ooh you I'm a single
dad to my eighteen year old daughter, Emma. Another Emma, Emma,
her biomom left us when she was young, and I've
raised her with the help of my wife, who has

(21:09):
been a wonderful mother figure. Recently, Emma started reconnecting with
her bio mom, and I initially supported this, hoping it
would be a positive experience. By the way, this comes
from user no underscore patients nine hundred on the r
slash Okay storytime subreddit. So, however, it quickly became apparent
that her bio mom hadn't changed. Emma began making excuses
for her and started exhibiting increasingly hostile behavior toward my wife.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
So he remarried someone.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
Yeah, new mom.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
Yeah, But it seemed like, oh, and now the daughter,
I see what they're saying. So the daughter started spending
more time with the biomom, and she's probably being kind
of poisoned against.

Speaker 3 (21:46):
Or like, yeah her hers not your real mom.

Speaker 2 (21:50):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:51):
Even though she was an excellent.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
Yeah, even though she was an excellent mother figure.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
She would say things like maybe I'll just move in
with my mom and leave you both behind. And you're
not my real mom anyway, so what do you care?
It escalated to threats where she implied she would ruin
our lives if we tried to stop her from pursuing
this relationship.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
How old is that one? Do we know?

Speaker 1 (22:10):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
Does it say it in the eighteen So she's old
enough to kind of just I mean, obviously she's being
manipulated here, but old enough to know better.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
It's a little odd because she says, I'm a single
dad to my eighteen year old yeah, daughter, Emma, And
then like, wife, when did you get remarried?

Speaker 2 (22:26):
That is a good question. I don't know. Okay, we
don't think we know this.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
During a heated argument, Emma expressed her desire to move
in with her bio mom. This was the breaking point
for me. Feeling that I needed to set boundaries. I
decided to cut off her college fund and told her
she had to leave our home. This is that's a
basic step. How you handle the situation.

Speaker 3 (22:47):
That is a huge move.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
This was that's not a way that's like zero to
one hundred to a million.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
Oh my god, I don't.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
She's an eighteen year old girl.

Speaker 2 (22:57):
She's just obviously she's being a little brat. She doesn't
like her mom's manipulating her. I don't know, Like I
don't know if we cut her off completely, but.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
We also don't even know the relationship really with the
father bio mom. Okay. Since then, my family has been
vocal about their disapproval. They believe I should have been
more understanding and that I overreacted. Some even argue that
I'm pushing her farther away and harming our relationship permanently.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
You know, I mean, like you're kind of proving the
mom's point if this is because to me, it doesn't
seem like it. This was a very long like her
petulance didn't go on for years and years and ye years.
I feel like the point where we reached a breaking point,
I fink there's a lot that just happened like quickly.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
I think there's a lot of context being mixed, like missing. Yeah,
because why is she now seeing her bio mom like
now at a time?

Speaker 2 (23:49):
Yes, what is the change here?

Speaker 1 (23:51):
When did this come to be? Why now? Why? Never?

Speaker 2 (23:55):
From the giving stuff out?

Speaker 1 (23:56):
There's stuff being left out that is just like there's
a lot of poles and this unreliable narrator right here continuing.
They think I should have tried harder to support her
rather than resorting to such drastic measures. Am I the
a hole for taking this step? Or was I justified
in cutting her off? There's an edit? But I think
you I think you had Do you think you jumped
the gun here?

Speaker 2 (24:16):
I think you went way too far.

Speaker 1 (24:18):
That was a jump way too far ahead, like setting
a boundary or even not just like, hey, what's going
on here?

Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah? Well, why are you saying these things? I thought
we had a good relationship. I've noticed that you're becoming,
you know, kind of rude to your step mom, which
you don't have to see her as your mom, but
but you do have to respect your first to a
certain extent. Yeah, this is this.

Speaker 1 (24:40):
Is not what's the mom saying? You should talk to
the mom about this?

Speaker 2 (24:43):
Exactly? Change in her behavior?

Speaker 1 (24:46):
What going on here? That is not being resorted instead
of you just jumped to your college fund is done?

Speaker 3 (24:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (24:53):
Go leave? And you thought there was going to be
no repercussions, no punishment. Yeah, you just made your daughter
hate you. There's an edit. My daughter also accused me
of always loving my wife over her, but it was
the other way around. Her biological mother abandoned us, and
now she confindes her confides her confines it her it's

(25:14):
one yord give visitor, give visitor. Edit another edit. So
a lot of you have been advising me to give
her the college fund, and I think I agree.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
Why do you think?

Speaker 1 (25:22):
What do you mean you should just be I agree,
I shall give her I should give her the college fund,
but I will not ask her to come back to me.
That's her own free will.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
I guess that's fair. That's fair to say, like if
she wants to she's eighteen years old. If she wants
to go off and be with her mom, that's fine,
you know, And if she's gonna be rude to you,
then you don't necessarily have to be like forcing her
to stay, but to take the college funds.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
To threaten her, that that is really a threat. You
threaten your daughter.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
Yeah, like get out, get out, your college.

Speaker 1 (25:51):
Fund's gone and you're not my daughter anymore.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
The fact that you're like, I think I agree with that,
or I I guess I overreacted.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
And also him saying, oh my daughter thinks that I like,
I choose my wife over her. You literally just did
just you literally just did. You showed her immediately who
you would choose.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yeah, zero hesitation it was just like you didn't even
talk about and talk about the first Maybe you didn't
punish it again. We're missing so many.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
We don't have. Yeah, and that what seems like that
was your first punishment.

Speaker 1 (26:20):
We have a bunch of updates, it looks like because
it starts with update number one.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
Oh okay, let's get into.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
Update number one. Thanks to everyone who commented it on
my original post. I didn't expect to have an update
so quickly, but a lot has happened in just the
past few hours, hours, not days.

Speaker 3 (26:36):
Hours.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
About an hour after I posted, I got a message
from Emma asking if we can meet up. She suggested
a nearby coffee shop, and although I was unsure of
what to expect, I agreed to meet her. When I arrived,
I could tell right away that something was different. Emma
looked exhausted and stressed, not at all like the confident
person who left our home. She told me that her
time with her bio mom had been a disaster. Not

(26:58):
only had her mom treated her hold, but she also
demanded an exorbitant amount of money.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
For rent for rent, charging her daughter for rent.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
Far more than Emma could afford. It became clear to
Emma that her mom wasn't interested in having a real
relationship with her, justin using her for our financial gain.
Emma was visibly upset as she apologized for the way
she treated me and my wife. She admitted that she
made a huge mistake and asked if she could come
back home. It was obvious she was genuinely remorseful, and
she said she realized how much we had done for her.

(27:28):
I told her that I'm willing to work on rebuilding
our relationship, but it's going to take time and effort
on both sides. We discussed setting some boundaries and working
through the issues that led to all of this in
the first place. Okay, she agreed, and we left the
coffee shop with a plan to move forward one step
at a time.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
All Right, this seems like we're fixing it.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
It's fixing it. But again, she is an eighteen year
old girl. Yeah, and she wants to have her real
mom in her life.

Speaker 2 (27:53):
But yeah, it's pretty much says But so both parents
kind of suck one more than the other. Of course,
this isn't a mom.

Speaker 3 (27:59):
This isn't it.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
That's what it feels like. It feels like this poor
girl feels like she was not being you know, given
enough attention from her dad, and so she goes tries
and get it sit from her mom. Her mom, you know,
tries to financially abuse her, and so she goes back
to her dad, who literally tried to cut her off.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
Completely without any hesitation.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
Without any hesitation. That's really hard to deal with.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
I guarantee he's so pompous that he was like, you're coming.

Speaker 3 (28:23):
Back to say, oh, I told you saw.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
We don't know that for genre.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
I can see it, I can see it, see it.
I'll give you back your college fun. Now we'll have
to build up to work for. Yeah, you have to
build this trust with me again. It's your daughter that
you said you love more than your wife. Yeah, you're
not being fair. Let's go ahead and finish it out.
It's not going to be an easy road, but I'm
hopeful that we can heal from this and come out
stronger on the other side. I'm still processing everything, but

(28:49):
I'm relieved that Emma wants to make things right. I
also agree to pay for her college and she's really
happy now. By the way, edit edit deleting post in
twenty four hours hot.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
We already got it.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
Thank you everyone for your kind words and support. I
could not reply to all the comments, but I read
them all relevant comments. Malachi Eclipsa just let her figure
out that her bio mom is a piece of crap.
That's the best way to.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
Go about it.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
I think she found that out out Yo twelve whiskey,
this is the best advice right here. Kind of similar
situation for me. Mom left me when I was three
and didn't want anything to do with me. I tried
to reconnect with her in high school and held her
on a pedicel for some reason. She didn't show up
for my graduation, wedding, birth of my first child, and
that point mid twenties, it finally hit me when what
kind of a mother she is? OPI It may take

(29:33):
some time in some big milestones, but your daughter will
see her mom for who she is. Just be there
for her she already has. Yeah, don't trash talk her mom.
I have mad respect for my dad because of it.
We are super close. Oh and I guess who's never
met my youngest child. That comment task.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
I think in situations where you have like one parent
who's not great and you know they're not great, you
don't need to bash them to your child. That is
not helpful. Josephine macdolaber quiz, thank you for the twenty
seven sec. This mom just came back to traumatize her
kid more literally and get money from her SONA says, Honestly,
I think Opie is worse. Kind of expect this from

(30:08):
mom as an absentee parent, but Opie just cutting the
daughter off. Opie purposely severed ties with a daughter because
they were but her.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
Yeah, exactly, they're just yeah, you picked your mom, but again,
she just wanted time with her mom, and she wanted
to be with her mom and get an idea of
her Yeah. No, I think yeah, I mean I think
the dad should have been like your mom left us, yeah,
and like you shouldn't trust her, like I know you
want to know your mom. But I feel like there
just was no real communication here.

Speaker 2 (30:33):
I think there's a way to say where you're not
necessarily bashing them, but just saying like, hey, be careful,
like if you would if you want to be with yours,
okay for this, but I will be here when you
come back.

Speaker 1 (30:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
But yeah, I mean again, she is an adult. I
understandably she's eighteen, but eighteen is like a baby adult.
You're a one year old adult.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
She doesn't even know what she's like.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
And her mom's been out of the picture for years.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
And I guarantee you the mom was like enticing her, like, oh.

Speaker 3 (30:57):
Come on, meet girl, Yeah, come home, come.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
Come on now, give me all your money for renting me,
because you're eighteen, You've got money you gotta head for
right now.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
Yeah, but that is the end of this story. I
think my wife is a lesbian. She ignores me around other.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
Women, her around other men.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
Ooh, tables turned throwaway because my wife is a Reddit user.
I thirty seven male, and my wife, thirty six female,
have been together for twenty years and married for twelve.
We are high school sweethearts who fell in love and
always knew we wanted something more. By the way, this
comes from Massive Cow seven nine oh eight on the

(31:37):
Okay Storytime subured it So when I met my wife,
she told me she was bisexual, and it never bothered me.
I am a straight male, but have LGBTQ plus siblings
and it has never been abnormal to me. We got
married in our twenties after we graduated college and could
afford to live comfortably and have a lavish wedding. Our
spicy sleep life has always been good and I never

(31:58):
complained about it, as even after twenty years, my wife
is still as beautiful as she was when I met her.
This is so sweet. I love that. Three years ago,
my wife suggested having a three the random woman, as
she knows that I'm into that kind of thing.

Speaker 3 (32:14):
Me I'm more of a three guy.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
I never brought it up in the vast as I
didn't want her to think I wanted to bring someone
else into our marriage. I was immediately on board with
this idea, and we looked on a dating slash hookup
site to find a woman who would like to join us.
The first three we had was amazing, and soon it
became a normal thing. We would do maybe once or
twice a month. Now onto the problem at hand. Recently,

(32:37):
my wife has been asking for way more three and
even suggested having two women over. That's a force of
which I declined to put things into perspective. Last year,
the most hookups we had in a month was four.
This year, though there was a month where we did
it seven times with four different women. We are barely

(32:57):
having one on one spicy sleep any and when we do.
It feels like she isn't even into me, and almost
as if she was doing me a favor. Two nights ago,
me and my wife hooked up with another woman. I
didn't think much of it at the time and was
going about our normal routine of preparing our house for company.
When the woman of the hour arrived, me and my
wife greeted her and took her to our room. When

(33:20):
we got started, everything was going well, although without giving
too much detail, I noticed my wife was paying extra
attention to the woman this time, rather than being even
like she normally does. She was gissing her a lot,
and even told me to get out of the way
at one point so she could have her all to herself.
I was a little offended, but I didn't think much

(33:41):
of it. Even after I came though, they didn't stop.
In fact, they kept going long enough for me to
get another hard on, then join in, then come again.
It was at least three hours. I didn't hate it,
but I felt like if I didn't go for a
second round and even left the room, my wife would
continue having spicy sleep with this woman even if I

(34:02):
wasn't there. I just wanted to have good manners after
all was said and done, the three of us fell asleep.
We normally let our third parties stay the night, as
we like to be nice and have good manners. When
I woke up the next morning, I was alone in bed.
I thought I slept in, but it was nine am
on a Saturday, and we'd stayed up well past three am.
I went to the kitchen to make some coffee and

(34:24):
look for my wife when I saw her and the
woman having spicy sleep on the couch in the living room.

Speaker 3 (34:30):
That's not okay. That is not okay. Potentially on the
agreements of the relationship that would be in fidelity.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
Yes, I mean you agreed to have a three most
likely with all parties involved, and now you have them
going off and doing on their own.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
That's not the like in the morning, it almost feels
like a sneaking off.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
It does. I mean, they specifically didn't wake him up.
So I was beyond shocked, and when my wife asked
me to join, I just went back to our bedroom.
She has never done this before, at least that I
know of, and it broke my heart to see this happen,
especially while I was asleep. It killed me to hear
all of the noises when I was literally one room

(35:10):
over the fact that she kept going after he just
like left what like read the room. When the woman left,
my wife came to me with a little bit of
an attitude, saying that I made it awkward and caused
tension between her and the woman. I was appalled that
she didn't try to apologize or make some lame excuse.
I ended up going back to bed and I didn't
feel like arguing at that point. I love my wife

(35:31):
so much and can't see my life without her. It's
been three days and recently she has been staying out
late and is barely talking to me. I have a
feeling that she's cheating on me, but I can't bring
myself to confront her as I don't have any proof
and honestly I still love her.

Speaker 3 (35:46):
Does Opie not consider that cheating?

Speaker 2 (35:48):
I don't know what to do. Please help me art
And there is an edit.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
I guess not because he's like, oh, I walked into
my wife having with another person without me, Potentially she's cheating.

Speaker 2 (35:59):
Yeah, it's like that is Yeah, when you violate the
rules of your relationship, that's cheating with someone else involved.

Speaker 3 (36:07):
Yeah, And if op doesn't consider that cheating but kind
of just considers it a breach. And then there's like
obviously like other weird things around it, like like the
amount of threes going up, like seeing his wife's disinterests
while they're like just having one on one spicy sleep.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
No, I am wondering if she's done this before because
it seems so normal.

Speaker 3 (36:30):
Oh, like she was like, dude, this happens every time.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
Yeah, I just figured you knew that I was doing this.
That's what it feels like. I wake up at seven
and then you wake up at nine. Yeah, you need
to have a conversation with her. But she's definitely violated
the trust here, So I don't know.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
Is there more?

Speaker 2 (36:46):
There is more? There's an edit. I have many comments
talking about boundaries, and I just want to come out
and say that boundaries were placed when we first started
doing it, and I apologize for not including it in
the original post. We both agreed on doing this as
long as you're both okay and consenting. We also agreed
to only sleep with others while we are both present.
This has never been an issue. Went too recently and

(37:08):
all the comments are making me realize that I may
not have been strict enough with enforcing our rules and boundaries.
But you shouldn't have to be like she should respect them,
because you clearly communicated what those boundaries are, and it
shouldn't have to be you being like, hey, i'm watching,
don't know that.

Speaker 3 (37:23):
Like, it's not your responsibility to uphold the other person's
side of the agreement. And also, it seems like after
that happened, I don't know if he said that the
OPI had a conversation with his partner, but it just
seemed like no conversation was had. She was just like,
you made it awkward, and then multiple days went by
and there was no conversation, like, hey, here's a boundary,

(37:44):
you crossed an agreement. Let's talk about.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
That, have a conversation. Also, we only invite women. I
am straight, and neither of us has justed inviting another
man it to bed, even if me and him were
not intimate at all. This is also another factor on
why I think she's either a lesbian or just has
very heavy preference towards women. I am more on the
feminine side. I'm six to one, muscular, but shaven, and
do not have facial hair whatsoever. My voice isn't that deep,

(38:10):
and I tend to lean towards a more feminine style
open shirts, tighter pants, dress shoes, et cetera. I'm planning
on updating in a day or two, as I plan
on having a heart to heart talk with her very soon,
and there is an update.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
I feel like the conversation around like, oh, is she
more into men or women doesn't feel that relevant.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
I agree, because honestly, there are so many different, you know,
identities that could be coming into play, like because I
feel like bisexuality does kind of it changes for people,
Like you could have a preference for men at a
certain point in your life and then you know, a
couple months later, you're only focusing on women. And it
does feel very fluid. So she might not be as

(38:49):
attracted to men, but that's not really the issue. It's
she violated an agreement.

Speaker 3 (38:54):
Yeah, And also from the context that we're getting from
this one person's perspective, it seems is just like it's
a relationship issue, not a gender. It's not like, oh,
I'm not in a man. It just feels like I'm
not into you, That's.

Speaker 2 (39:07):
What I think. I don't think it really matters what
her secutity is especially because you guys, as you said,
were fine for twenty years, so it feels like maybe
she's just no longer okay.

Speaker 3 (39:16):
Then even more so, it doesn't seem like AUDI is
a relevant factor here.

Speaker 2 (39:21):
Hey everyone. First off, I just want to say thank
you so much for all the comments and support on
my original post. It got way more attention than I
originally thought. Before getting into that, I want to address
the many comments I got. First Off, my wife does
not use Reddit that much, and when she does, she
usually scrolls on meme subreddits or asks for help on trouble.

(39:42):
I know I was extremely detailed, but there's no way
she would find this post as she doesn't even listen
to podcasts. The only way she could have found it
is through my profile, hence the throwaway. Secondly, what is
with all the Ross Come? Who is Ross? Am I
missing a joke?

Speaker 3 (39:58):
Who is this damn Ross?

Speaker 2 (40:00):
This rask guy? I've never heard of him? Third thing,
my wife has always been supported by her family. They
never judged her and welcomed her with open arms when
she came out. She was my first girlfriend and I
was her first boyfriend. She had a girlfriend before me.
My wife sometimes stays out late with friends of hers
and also sometimes comes extremely wasted, though she has never

(40:20):
had any marks or smells of spicy sleep on her body.
Even these last few days, she would come home late
smelling like a light alcohol and nothing more. Finally, we
do not bring different women over to our house every
time we want a third party. We keep in contact
with most women, and some we even become good friends with.
The woman who came over that night was someone we
had been in contact over a year. That could be

(40:43):
totally like an emotional affair here, as they often go
out together alone. Today, I woke up with one thing
on my mind to talk to my wife. I read
many comments and got extremely sweet ms that helped me
make my mental script. Although what caught me off guard
was how normal she was acting last night. She didn't
stay out too late and actually came home on time
when I was still awake. We slept in the same

(41:05):
bed that night, and after work today I sat her
down to question her outside of our spicy sleep life,
me and my wife have never had any problems and
our personalities are almost identical, so talking to her is
and was never an issue for me. When I asked
her today, though she stiffened but did not reject me.
I started out by saying that I'm sorry for storming

(41:26):
off that morning, but I didn't appreciate her sleeping with
the woman of question without my consent.

Speaker 3 (41:31):
First. He's like, I didn't appreciate this.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (41:34):
I didn't mean to be upset, but it wasn't the
kindest thing for you to have Spicy sleep with another human.

Speaker 2 (41:40):
I don't mean, like, you know, put this on you.
Totally understand where you're coming from. She just nodded in response.
I then asked her how she would have felt if
the roles were reversed and if she was the one
walking in on me sleeping with another woman. She responded
by saying that she wouldn't mind, which I know is
bull but I didn't press on it, as I thought
she was just trying to save herself. I then asked

(42:01):
her if she was still in love with me, which
was something that kept me up for nights on end.
She said yes, but hesitated when I pushed on it.
She said that she doesn't love me spicy sleepily, but
feels an emotional connection to me like nobody else and
is in love with me. Okay, wait, wait, has a.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
Romantic connection, but not a spicy sleep. Wow. Oh, I
feel for Opie. What a thing to receive from someone
you love for all that time.

Speaker 2 (42:27):
Yeah, and also after the threesome incident.

Speaker 3 (42:30):
I mean, it's just like a confirmation of all your fear.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
That really sucks. I didn't ask her directly if she
was a lesbian, but that sort of confirms it for me,
and I honestly could have broken down right then and there. Personally,
I think spicy sleep is a huge part of relationships
and that it brings the two people closer. I know
I'm a hypocrite for saying this, as we literally invite
others into our bed, but we always used to keep
time for ourselves, one on one time with just the

(42:53):
two of us, to help us connect on another level.
So I asked her the question of the hour people.
I asked if she had been sleep with other women
beside that morning behind my back?

Speaker 3 (43:03):
What do you think, Sofia, did you see it?

Speaker 2 (43:05):
I did?

Speaker 3 (43:06):
I did?

Speaker 2 (43:07):
What do you think? Did you see it?

Speaker 3 (43:09):
I think she's gonna say no, let's find out.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
Let's be this sentence. She didn't answer and just looked away.
That is an answer that's tough man. At that point,
I didn't even need a response and just walked out
of house.

Speaker 3 (43:22):
And also, you already know you walked in on her
sleeping with someone behind your back.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Yeah, He's like, did it happen more than how many times?

Speaker 3 (43:29):
Yeah? She's like, you walked in on it more than five,
more than ten, more than fifty. Damn it.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
I texted her later on and asked what she wants
to do. She didn't respond to me, But I think
we both know that it's time for divorce. I mean,
she's been cheating on.

Speaker 3 (43:42):
Him and doesn't even recognize it as cheating. Also, she's
just like point blank said that she's not into him
second anymore.

Speaker 2 (43:49):
And it seems like it's a very important part of
the relationship for him, you know, even if she's romantically
attracted to him, it.

Speaker 3 (43:54):
Doesn't Well I don't know if any relationship can survive.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
Just I think it can. I think a lot of
people who are a.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
Sure there's many different orientations of relationships, but it's a
hard transition when you started out with you know, only
being a part of the relationship, which is part of
most relationships, and then for that to transition into not
having it.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
I totally agree in this case, specifically, especially because he
said it was a really important part of our relationship. Yeah.
I don't think you can do much, but we'd never
manipulate you into joining us live every weekday at three
PMPST just to have a profile. The comments left for
me to read really helped me realize how much of
a dream I was living in and how I was

(44:36):
delusional because of how in love I was with my wife.
I'm in a crappy motel bed right now writing this,
bordering on tears. I have always been madly in love
with my wife and still am, but I feel as
though if I decide to forgive and forget, the same
thing would happen again. All the comments trashing on open
relationships are right, and I now know to never do
it if I ever remarry. I just want to personally

(44:58):
thank the person who went through a similar EXPERI and
wrote to me. That really gave me the confidence that
I can to move on and forget. I appreciate you
and the vulnerability you showed to me. I doubt there
will be another update, and I'm sorry if this wasn't
as groundbreaking as you all originally thought. Thank you so
much and if anyone has questions, I will try to
read and respond to as many comments as possible. And

(45:19):
that is the end of that story. Man oh man,
that sucks.

Speaker 3 (45:23):
My boyfriend's girl best friend called him her platonic soulmate.
I want him to cut her off.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
He could just be besties.

Speaker 3 (45:29):
They could just be besties. Best ease, Hi, I will
try to be quick. I am a twenty nine year
old female and I have been dating my boyfriend Thomas
twenty eight male for two years. We were friends for
seven years before we started dating. Wow, WHOA you could
really get out of the friend zone. Thomas has a
female best friend called Mary, twenty seven female. I am

(45:50):
not comfortable with their friendship, so I asked Thomas to
stop having contacts with her, and he got mad and
told me I was manipulative. By the way, this comes
from you dash pleasant when nine to three seven zero
on the ur dash Okay storytime subreddit. So background, I
was friends with Thomas for a long time. Suddenly he
met Mary and they quickly became best friends. They were
always together, and she called them platonic soulmates. I already

(46:13):
didn't like her back then. It was almost impossible to
see Thomas without Marie. Something like five years ago, Marie
moved to another city four hours away by train from
our city. She almost convinced Thomas to follow her. He
ended up staying mainly for his family and his brother.
It was great to spend time with Thomas without her.
He slowly lost contact with Marie. Then COVID happened and

(46:34):
they stopped talking. He never had the chance to visit
her in her new city. Like I said, I started
dating Thomas two years ago. I confessed I had a
crush on him for a long time, and he gave
me a chance. We're doing great and we've been living
together for over a year. I wanted to marry him
one day, and I think he wants the same. But
this summer, Marie contacted Thomas again when she was in

(46:55):
our city to visit her family. Thomas went to see her.
Even if I didn't like it, I said nothing because
I know that he really missed her. I didn't see
her Since then. They're calling each other from time to time.
Thomas is always happy after talking to her, so I
still didn't say anything. Marie's coming in our city again
for Christmas, so Thomas is planning to see her again.
I'm still not complaining, but she asked if he wanted

(47:16):
to go back to her city with her after Christmas
to spend New Year's with her. Thomas said yes right away,
and he was really excited when he told me. But
I said no right away. Reason Number one, I'm not
even included in the plan. He wants to spend New
Year's with her and without me. Number Two, I didn't
want him to be alone with her in her apartment.
Even if Marie is now married, I don't trust her

(47:36):
around my boyfriend, and I know having a husband won't
stop her. So number three, we already have plans with
my friends. So I told Thomas he couldn't go and
that we plan to spend the New Year together. He
was really mad and told me he was important to
him because he never had the chance to visit Marie
in her new city since she moved, and it's a
bigger city than ours, and he really wanted to spend
time with her. I got mad too, and I told

(47:58):
him I was really hurt by his attitude. I didn't
like how Marie made him act, and I wasn't comfortable
with their friendship. And if he really loves me, he
should care about my feelings and stop talking to her.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
This is just a huge overstep.

Speaker 3 (48:10):
If you love me, you'll do what I want and
not what makes you happy.

Speaker 2 (48:13):
That's not healthy, that's not You're allowed to have friends
who make you happy. Talking to my friends makes me
unbelievably happy.

Speaker 3 (48:21):
Okay. My rant was that we need to belong to
a lot of people, and that includes both genders, and
to be a fully functioning human, we need people in
our lives. We need relationship.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
Yeah, no, I think that OPI could have gone and said, hey,
what we said. You know, I'm uncomfortable for this this reason,
and then could have said, hey, I also really want
to spend years. Is there a way that you could
see her, you know, from the twenty seventh to the
you know, like this before and years or after New Years,
because we have these plans. So it's still you can

(48:51):
see her, but you're not you know, seeing her then.

Speaker 3 (48:54):
Exactly when transparency is shared, when you're actually vulnerable instead
of making demands, then there's so much Yeah, and for
like working together as a team. Exactly when I said that,
he called me manipulative and told me I always had
a problem with the people he loves. Then he left
and we didn't talk since then because he's at his
brother's place. So do you think am I the a

(49:15):
hole for getting mad at my boyfriend because of his
relationship with his best friend?

Speaker 2 (49:19):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (49:19):
Yeah, sorry, yeah I do. There's just a lot of
projecting and demand.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
We've just heard, like no actual reasons why Marie is
the bad guy.

Speaker 3 (49:28):
It just seems like a lack of trust in the relationship.

Speaker 2 (49:30):
That's its own problem. Edit.

Speaker 3 (49:32):
I'm adding something I wrote in the comment because it
is important and I should have said it from the start. Okay,
maybe some more context. Okay, I think I should have
said it in my post. But Thomas Marie were not
one hundred percent platonic when she still lived in our city.
That's relevant information, thank you. So they had intercourse with
the same guy twice because Thomas is by and even

(49:53):
if Thomas swears he didn't do anything with Marie, I
still didn't want them to be alone.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
Okay, it's really relevant information. Were they in this same
room or did they just oh, guy connect.

Speaker 3 (50:07):
I read it like they had a three way with you.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
Oh yeah, that's what I think it was. But I
think it's also funny to think of it, they just
slept with the same guy. She's like, it's like they
slept together. This is funny.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
Okay, but if they were having a three way she's
assuming that they didn't touch bodies once. I guess that's
a confusing Yeah, it's like a pillow wall between them.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
They're like, okay, okay, time you're in the next one. Yeah,
this is confusing. It doesn't really. It kind of puts
me in unsteady footing here. I'm unsure now.

Speaker 3 (50:35):
Edit number two. Hopefully that's more context on the contact,
a little bit more context. Okay, thank you everyone for
your comments. I try to read everything. At first, people
were really against me and consider me controlling, but I
feel like more people understand my point now. I mit
I shouldn't have said I wanted him to cut ties
with her. I try to answer all the questions I saw.
I will come back tomorrow to read when I missed

(50:56):
because it's really late where I'm in I'm not American,
but really, thank you again. I feel better now, but
I know I have to talk with Thomas. I'm not
planning to break up.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
Yeah, that would be a pretty big step to break
up with him. Over him wanting to see his friend.

Speaker 3 (51:09):
Why would you want to I'm confused about that, at
least for now. Good night. Okay, another update? Oh okay,
there's so much left standing on did yeah, Thomas and
her have a three way together. I want to thank
everyone for all the comments. I didn't expect to receive
that many messages. I try to read them all. I
noticed people were really split, with many not the A hole.

(51:30):
You're the a hole and everyone sucks here. I recognize
it was bad that I told Thomas I want him
to cut ties with Marie, and I regret it. Okay,
some self awareness, okay, but I'm glad people also understand
why I'm uncomfortable with Thomas and Marie's relationship. I don't
have a big update because I didn't have the occasion
to talk to Thomas. But I decided to write an
update to clarify some things. I need some clarification.

Speaker 2 (51:51):
I need some clarification, so.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
I will do that, and at the end I will
add a small update. Okay, the timeline. I started dating
Thomas when he wasn't talking to Marie anymore. They stopped
talking for over a year. When I confessed to him,
I thought they were really over, and Thomas thought the same.
I didn't expect her to come back into our life
breaking up. Many people told me to break up like
it's an easy decision.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
Don't why why nothing has happened here, that's break up.

Speaker 3 (52:18):
I love him and I know he loves me. Except
for that, we're great together and we never argue like
some people notice. I've been in love with Thomas for
a long time before we started dating. That is a
long time though. I waited for the right time to
confess for many reasons, and one of them was Marie.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
She's blocking you?

Speaker 3 (52:35):
She did you just assume she was blocking? I don't
know even if she's back now, and I don't like it.
It's not so easy to walk away from the best
relationship I ever had. Marriage. Thomas and I talked about
getting married someday. I told him at the beginning of
the relationship it was something I wanted, and he said
he wanted it too, but he didn't want to rush,
even though we know each other for a long time.
We even talked about getting engaged after dating three years

(52:57):
because it was a good timeline, and he agreed. Thomas
and Marie had spicy sleep with the same guy at
the same time, in front of each other. Okay. That
had so much clarity. Okay, okay, But Thomas said he
didn't have spicy sleep with her. He said they were
both focused on the guy. Okay, why why did why?

Speaker 2 (53:17):
Why were you both there at the same I don't know.
Was it just for this guy?

Speaker 3 (53:20):
He was like, Okay, you guys just like we couldn't
fit in like two separate occasions on our calendar, so
we thought we'd merge meetings.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
We just we do a little back to back actus.

Speaker 3 (53:29):
Okay. It happened before she moved to her new city,
and it happened twice. I also know Marie had three
with her husband and other guys before she got married.
Revant trust I do trust Thomas, do you? I don't think.
It seems like you do trust him, and I don't
think he will cheat on me. It seems like you do.
But I don't trust her, and it makes me uncomfortable

(53:49):
to imagine them spending a whole week and together without me,
because I don't want her to try something. Okay. His brother,
Thomas said, I had a problem with people he loves
because he's really close with his oldest brother and his
older brother doesn't like me. I know it's something that
makes him sad okay about Marie. Some people don't understand
why I don't like Marie or why I don't trust
her about my BF. I even saw someone said I

(54:11):
invented the threes to justify why I don't like her.
That's not it at all. At first, I don't want
to add that detail because it makes it easier for
people to who know me or Thomas to recognize us,
and I wanted to avoid that. However, it's like highly
relevant information. Then I added it because I wanted people
to understand that Thomas Marie don't have a normal friendship,
because most people don't have a three their best friend.

(54:32):
That's fair. I haven't heard a three my best friend.
I know people can have casual, spicy sleep and it
doesn't mean anything. I never did that, but I can understand.
It's not the main reason why I'm uncomfortable with Marie.
I used to know her when she lived in our city.
I saw her and how she acted with Thomas back then,
he acted different when he was with her. They were
always together, and she acted like they had a special relationship.

(54:54):
Other people couldn't understand Thomas was less open with me
or mutual friends. He didn't have time anymore for his
or other friends. He acted like he was an extension
of her in some ways. She was making all of
their decisions. They were only doing stuff she likes. The
relationship seemed toxic to us, and I wasn't the only
one not to like Marie because of that. I only
learned about the three Thomas and Marie did after I

(55:17):
started dating Thomas, because we had a discussion about her
ex relationships and he emitted it. It's something they kept
secret before that. I had no idea they did something
like that. So it's not why I didn't like Marie,
but it's definitely one of the reasons I'm uncomfortable with
their friendship now, especially if she invites him to spend
a week in with her and her husband.

Speaker 2 (55:35):
Small updates, those are all very relevant for so much
relevant information in there. And the thing is, I'm totally
more understanding why OP is so uncomfortable.

Speaker 3 (55:44):
Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2 (55:44):
The way that she brought it up is just totally wrong. Yeah,
because she could have said, like, hey, I feel like
she didn't treat you well.

Speaker 3 (55:51):
Or you have passed spicy sleep history together.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
Yeah, and like she's been known to have with her
husband and with other men. So I just don't you know.

Speaker 3 (56:00):
The fact that you had this friendship and it seemed
like there was codependency tendencies in it. Yes, exactly small update.
Yesterday I called Thomas. He didn't answer, so I texted
him multiple times and he told me he was still
angry and asked me to leave him alone for the day.
I respected his wishes. I spent the afternoon trying to
catch up on all the comments on my first post.

(56:21):
More and more people convinced me that her plans for
New York were suspicious. Marie was probably trying to have
another three her husband and Thomas, a huge assumption, so
I messaged her. She messaged, Marie, Oh, okay, some drama
coming in. We're still Facebook friends, so I can contact
her on Messenger to ask if we could talk, which
is like very much going behind your partner's best yah,

(56:44):
especially when he's like being mad with you and wants space.
She was like, yeah, what's up? When I'm sure she
knows about my arguments with Thomas. So I asked right
away why she didn't invite me to New York. This
is going to go so poorly when Thomas finds out
this is not the route to go, what do you do?

Speaker 2 (57:01):
You're so messy?

Speaker 3 (57:03):
Yeah, it's pretty messy, she said. Thomas told me you
had other plans, and I told her it's weird to
only invite one person when this Peers is in a
serious relationship. And she didn't reply. So I asked, are
you trying to have spicy sleep with Thomas?

Speaker 2 (57:17):
Oh, Peter, frustrating me?

Speaker 3 (57:19):
What we're trying to defend you, Opie, We're trying to
see from your stance and frying so hard.

Speaker 2 (57:25):
Who does that? Who sends that text?

Speaker 3 (57:27):
Oh? Messy? She said, reasonably, What are you crazy? I'm married?
So I told her I know you already had three
your husband, so I don't see how it's stopping you.
Then she said, wait, he told you this is good
it wow? I said yes, and she said I can't
believe he told you that, and she stopped answering my

(57:49):
messages after that.

Speaker 2 (57:51):
Now Marie is gonna go to the husband and say, hey,
why did you tell her that? That was like our
private information about my life? And then the husband the
boyfriend's got to go to pe and be like why
did you talk to her and then and then they're
going to break up?

Speaker 3 (58:05):
One you went behind my back to talk to her,
bretting what I told you in privacy. Unbelievable, So I
was really mad after that.

Speaker 2 (58:13):
Now I feel like we might be in breakup territory
because the boyfriend my the.

Speaker 3 (58:17):
Boyfriend might break up with you, which is kind of reasonable.
I tried to call Thomas again, but he didn't answer.
I went to bed crying, but I had an awful night.
I missed him a lot, and I just wanted him
to come home. And if you want to have a
home with us, you can join us live on YouTube
every other day at three point am PST. Just have
our profile. There's another relevant update, but let's discuss this

(58:38):
is getting fun he's getting This morning, Thomas called me.
Of course he was obvious they but I messaged Marie
to ask her if he wanted to have splicy sleep
with him, and how did a excuse that? I said,
I didn't want to talk about it on the phone.
I want to see him to have a calm discussion.
He said he will come home in the afternoon after

(58:59):
lunch with his family, but he didn't want to argue anymore,
and I said I didn't want to argue either, but
there's still much relevant stuff to talk about.

Speaker 2 (59:06):
There's so much stuff you need to talk about.

Speaker 3 (59:09):
So now I'm waiting for him to come home. I'm
really stressed about our talk, so I'm keeping all the
advice that were giving to me. I really don't want
to break up with him. He might break up with you, yeah,
and I hope he will understand how I feel.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
No, that's it.

Speaker 3 (59:22):
How are you going to end? There?

Speaker 2 (59:24):
No other updates? Sad, sad, sad. Yeah, I think that
there's just been a lot of bad stuff happened right then.

Speaker 3 (59:32):
This so much bad stuff.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
My boyfriend's female friend is emotionally dependent on him.

Speaker 3 (59:37):
It's ruining our relationship. I'm going to be so upset
with this thing.

Speaker 2 (59:41):
Yep, thank you in advance for any advice for context
as to why I would be worried in the first place.
I twenty four female, have been dating my boyfriend, twenty
four male for about seven months now, and he has
a very close friend, twenty three female of about three years,
who is seemingly a very nice.

Speaker 3 (59:58):
Girl seeming, but under the surface she's a witch.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
But the way they conducted. Their relationship cause problems for
us in the past that have taken me a very
long time to move on from, and I am still
currently working on healing from. By the way, this comes
from Deco Kim on the Okay Storytime suburditt. So no
cheating of any sort happened, but they were a bit enmeshed.
She seemed extremely dependent on him for emotional support, and

(01:00:23):
he is the therapist's friend who makes himself always available.
This friend is extremely anxious and has a load of
other problems that I have mentioned quite a few times
to him that she should be seeking professional help for.
But the main issue that she was having is that
she has still hung up on an X that she
ended things with about eight months ago, and her current
dating life is not working out the way she wants

(01:00:46):
to to. This has caused them to develop a relationship
where she is heavily reliant on him to regulate her
emotions and calls him daily and multiple times a day,
or for him to be the first person she calls
when she's sad about something, which was seemingly every other
day from what I was seeing. For example, my boyfriend
screenshoted his callogues about three months into a relationship to

(01:01:06):
show me that my call to him did not go through,
and I saw for myself that not only had she
called him every day, but that Friday she had called
him at two am, then again at nine am, then
again at three pm, and then again at six pm
at the same time I tried to call him.

Speaker 3 (01:01:22):
So he kind of just outed himself. He was like, look, baby,
I don't get your call while you get a thousand
calls from my friend.

Speaker 2 (01:01:28):
Seeing this freaked me out for multiple reasons, including this
at the time we were barely speaking on the phone.
We had a discussion in which I let my boyfriend
know that the calls were a bit excessive, but I
don't mind the daily calls, as they choose to maintain
the friendship with discord gaming calls and phone calls instead
of hanging out in person frequently. But calling at two
am for non emergency reasons was something that made me

(01:01:50):
extremely uncomfortable, especially considering him not sleeping well was causing
him health issues. He spoke with her and the super
late calls stopped. He even said at the sleep routine
on his iPhone so that she could not call him
after a certain hour unless she called twice, and also
we started calling each other more. As far as examples
of how this relationship has affected our relationship, we had

(01:02:10):
a date day about a week before I saw the
aforementioned callogus, where he pretty much talked about her and
her problems the entire day, even as we were cuddling
before bed, including calling her on the phone right when
he sat down after arriving so we could help her
calm her anxiousness after a date she had answering our
calls while we are together, we only hang out one
weekend day every week, and the calls were for her

(01:02:33):
to chat about her day. That only went on a
few times before he stopped after we had a big
discussion about their friendship. We were unable to be intimate
for a bit, and he mentioned at the time that
I think what friend has been saying about how she
doesn't want it to just be about spicy sleep with
her next partner is getting to me.

Speaker 3 (01:02:49):
So he stopped having spicy sleep with op because his
friend had some concern around spicy sleep. But that feels
quite concerning.

Speaker 2 (01:02:58):
This is much more cause for concern than the last story,
even if it's not a romantic problem or relationship here.
I think it's just just kind of disrespectful. I mean,
like if I were with a partner and they were
just taking calls while I was there, I'd be like, okay,
Like long calls would.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Be kind of annoying. And then like have someone have
a codependent relationship with him telling him about like their
problems and like, and.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
Then you also have to weigh in on it and
you're like okay.

Speaker 3 (01:03:24):
And seeking like for him to help her when any
trigger comes up, and then him actually internalizing her concerns
and having that affect your relationship like in drastic ways.

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
Weird. Again, we only see each other once a week
on the weekend due to his schedule, and occasionally twice,
and he has mentioned potentially not hanging out with me
in case he is too mentally tired, and when asked
what he can do to prevent this in the future,
the first thing he says is not take some of
his friend's calls. On top of this, we were having
issues because for about two months he stopped planning our

(01:03:58):
dates or initiating hangouts, as according to him, we have
a shared calendar, so I just assume we would be
hanging out at some point during the weekend if we
were both free. But after we had a discussion about this,
he understood that him not initiating at all was making
me feel like if I don't ask to see him,
then I won't see him. I hate that. I hate that,

(01:04:18):
just the like when you have to put all of
the effort into seeing someone, it's.

Speaker 3 (01:04:22):
Like, no, yeah, in a relationship, you want to feel
like your partner is putting an effort to like connect
with you. That's like a bare minimum.

Speaker 2 (01:04:29):
A week later, he planned it outing with said friend
and invited me along. Yes, I think it's fine to,
you know, plan addings with your friends and your partners,
but I just feel like he's not prioritizing her and
the time that they do have. It's just about the friends, Dell.
There are more incidents that happened that are similar, But
about a month ago, out of the blue, he asked
me if he could start hanging out with either of

(01:04:50):
his two female friends alone. Hes introverted and in person
interactions drain him, so he only hangs out with them
in person about once or twice a month. These are
two sets friends who know of one another but are
not friends due to clashing personalities. According to him, he
had not talked to the friend this post is about
for four days Friday through Monday as it, and they

(01:05:10):
hadn't spoken on the phone and only sent one meme
that Saturday, so he needed to catch up with her.
And I'm not always free on the days they just
want to grab a quick lunch. However, him asking this
was still very off putting for me because from the
beginning of a relationship he has had one on one
time in person with both friends and I have never
mentioned an issue with this. He has never consulted me

(01:05:30):
about getting lunch before with either of them, nor have
I asked him to, and just puts it on our calendar.
With the other friend, they see each other twice a month,
their choice, and they were like this before, me once
alone and the other involving me because she likes to
invite me along to outing for the friend. This post
is about the main reason that they have not hung
out alone in person as much is because she goes

(01:05:51):
out of her way to ask him to invite me
along to all the things they do in person. That
just seems considerate. I feel like that's nice. Yeah, all
of their phone calls and discord calls are just them
ninety five percent of the time unless she specifically asks
him to ask me if we can all game.

Speaker 3 (01:06:06):
Together the parson, this post is about. This is another
female friend.

Speaker 2 (01:06:10):
It says, for the friend, this post is about the
main reason that they have not hung out alone in
person as much as because she goes out of her
way to ask me.

Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
Okay, so the one he is a messed with.

Speaker 2 (01:06:21):
Is asking to hang out with Opie as well.

Speaker 3 (01:06:22):
Okay, that's a good sign.

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
Honestly speaking, she has made a large effort to get
to know me. Some would say a bit too much
of an effort, as there was a month when I
saw her more than my own boyfriend. But this is
why my problem was not really with her, but more
so my boyfriend. Yeah, it seems like she wants to
be your friend because she's friends with your boyfriend. I
think that's fair.

Speaker 3 (01:06:40):
Yeah, it seems like she's trying to be respectful of relationship.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
Again, I think the problem is the boyfriend, for sure.

Speaker 3 (01:06:45):
She's the one the ameshment is geared towards like her
a meshing with him, not necessarily the other way around.
So it's still her actions of her treating him as
this codependent figure.

Speaker 2 (01:06:57):
Absolutely, that's yeah, that's a good point, so I guess
it's still both. But it says that she's.

Speaker 3 (01:07:01):
Evolving ope doing the actions, and he's not putting boundaries down.

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
And when I've tried to have discussions about boundaries that
I've brought up in the past, he usually just says
that his friend is a girl's girl and always asks
if she's doing anything that makes me uncomfortable, which is
nice on her part.

Speaker 3 (01:07:16):
That's good. I'm glad she's trying to respect Opie.

Speaker 2 (01:07:18):
We had a very long discussion about this friendship and
our entire relationship, but ultimately it went well and allowed
us to ask about a lot of things we should
have discussed early on. The conclusion was that he has
the right to hang out with his friends alone, and
I'm okay with that, but as we discussed previously, he
needs to take a slight step back from how he
handles his friend's problems because it affects our relationship. However,

(01:07:41):
a few days later, his friend messaged me directly asking
if we could all get lunch together, which is very
unusual for her to ask me about these kinds of
group plans, and then when I mentioned to her that
I recently talked with my boyfriend and I think they
should get lunch alone because he mentioned they hadn't had
a chance to catch up. Instead of being like, oh, okay,
we'll all hang out some other time, she calls me
the next time and basically says that she asked my

(01:08:03):
boyfriend to ask me if they could hang out alone
because she was sad that her other male friend was
not answering her calls for the past two weeks and
it made her feel like her friendships were changing and
she didn't want to feel like our relationship was dictating
her friendship with my boyfriend. So Opie was like, hey,
you can hang out with him alone, like, don't worry
about it, and then she was like, I.

Speaker 3 (01:08:21):
Don't want to get in the way of this relationship
because I don't want it to hurt my friendship.

Speaker 2 (01:08:25):
This caused another discussion between me and my boyfriend, to
which she explained, and I really do believe him that
he had already been thinking about this because she hadn't
been calling him as much in general. So I think
that maybe what's happening is that she's trying to be
respectful in other areas. Maybe they've already had conversations about
how much she was calling him, and now she's like,
I feel like I can't be friends with him because

(01:08:47):
of your relationship. I think that might be what the friend.

Speaker 3 (01:08:49):
Is saying, But she's asked him all the hang out
so that she could hang out with him because she's
trying to be to considerate. Let's just read on.

Speaker 2 (01:08:57):
And so he called her first to ask if they
could hang out sometime because they haven't actually chatted about
what's been going on with her in a while, which
led to her calling him back a day later, sad
about the situation with the other friend and her asking
to ask me if they could hang out alone. From
what I know from speaking with her, she decided to
delete all of her dating apps and detoks from social
media and has been less depressed. I believe this is

(01:09:19):
why she has not been calling my boyfriend as much anymore,
but I did not want to point this out to
my boyfriend, as I feel like it would make their
friendship seem a certain way. The situation caused drama between
them because she had caused issues in his previous relationships
in a similar manner, i e. Bringing in his then
current girlfriend to a place. She was very aware that
his recent ex at the time hung out at this

(01:09:39):
whole ordeal genuinely weirded me out, and I decided to
take a step back from trying to become close with
my boyfriend's friend, and according to him, she felt very
guilty about the whole thing. She had stopped contacting me
for about a month, and I believe this situation is
why but has been trying to talk to me more recently,
which I'm a bit unsure about if I want to
continue to become closer with her, which you don't have to.

Speaker 3 (01:10:00):
Ugly old Bat says, I will need a nap after
this story. That's how I'm feeling.

Speaker 2 (01:10:04):
Yeah, I mean like there's just a lot of back
and forth and just kind of it seems like the
friend is trying to be considerate but is also worried
about messing things up, and then.

Speaker 3 (01:10:13):
But he kind of is, you know, encroaching on the relationship,
and then Macer's racers that she's either considerate or self pitying,
which is kind of real.

Speaker 2 (01:10:22):
Everything that I've mentioned are things that I have talked
to my boyfriend about and have not been bottling up.
So our relationship has been getting back on track, and
he himself realized that his friend was a little bit
too dependent on him and that it really was affecting him.
So he has been starting to change in that aspect
as well. This is the current dilemma. He's been mentioning
on and off getting the same job that she has

(01:10:45):
at her current job, which would be very good for him,
and he has a very strong chance of getting this role.
He explained to me yesterday that after his trip at
the end of the month, he will go ahead and
submit his application. However, them working together makes me wonder
how it will affect a relationship. Maybe it'll be better
because she won't have to call him so much.

Speaker 3 (01:11:03):
They'll just chat at work. That's fair, unless it's like
remote and then she's just gonna be calling him all workday.
I think we just add to the same dynamics. It
just feels like it would double the dynamic.

Speaker 2 (01:11:11):
His current work schedule is why we only see each
other once a week, So this new job would allow
us to see each other more, probably twice a week
or three times if it's not too much for his
mental health. As they are close friends, they will inevitably
be getting lunch pretty much daily if they will be
working on the same team in the same department, which
is the goal. But in my opinion, I think all
of the phone calls and whatnot would need to be

(01:11:33):
toned down. I'm just very scared of our relationship turning
back to what it was when she was more dependent
on him. And he has a lot of great qualities,
and honestly speaking, I am in love with him, but
I do remember how I felt during the peak of
those times, and so ultimately I know that I would
leave him if things start going back to that place
of where I'm feeling like he prioritizes her over our

(01:11:54):
relationship and making me feel like a third wheel. But
we would never make you guys feel like the Well,
if you join us live every weekda at three pimo
on YouTube, just tap her profile and there is a
little bit left to the story. But what are your thoughts?
What does op you do?

Speaker 3 (01:12:07):
It feels exhausting this whole thing. Also, Opie seems like
pretty mature, pretty self aware, and is like approaching it
front standpoint.

Speaker 2 (01:12:17):
Doesn't seem like she ever said like, oh I think
they're cheating. It was just like I think he's they're
too emotionally dependent.

Speaker 3 (01:12:22):
Yeah, it seems like one she's not jumping to conclusions.
Two she's not making demands with her partner, so much
better than the last story. But at the same time,
if you're worried that their friendship will go back to
being even as a mess as it was, or even
more a messed, that's totally reasonable something that can be communicated.
I imagine she would do it quite well, to be honest. Yeah,

(01:12:44):
I mean she did this, but also yeah, and it
seems like her partner is also respectful and aware of
these things. And so I think just an honest conversation
with both of them of like, hey, what type of
friendship do you want with your friend? What are you
not willing to put up? Just so you know, this
relationship affects our real relationship.

Speaker 2 (01:13:00):
I didn't appreciate how you treated me in the past.

Speaker 3 (01:13:02):
Yeah, So like what boundaries can you put down and
how will that look?

Speaker 2 (01:13:06):
Yeah? I think that just a little communication can go
a long way in keeping this relationship going healthy and strong.
Is this something I should even bring up? Absolutely? Or
should I wait to see if this will even be
an issue? Considering he has already actively been making changes
with our relationship and his friendship. I think it's always
okay to bring up things. You've got to premeditate those conversations.

Speaker 3 (01:13:26):
Yeah. I mean like intimacy is being able to know
each partner's world and what is going on inside of it.

Speaker 2 (01:13:32):
Yeah, and you don't want to wait until it is
a problem. I want to explain to him that I
have no problem with them getting lunches if they start
working together, but I don't want it to turn into
a thing whether they not only getting lunch daily, but
still on the phone frequently and also starting to hang
out more in general, because he has told me before
when they're working together. When they first met, they used
to do things together every week, and I guess a

(01:13:52):
part of me fears how this will affect our relationship.
I think, deep down, I began to feel like he
had feelings for her when all of the other stuff
was happening, and it still affects me, even though I've
healed a lot from that. And also I know he
has never slept with any of his friends or dated them,
and that is the end of that story. And props
to Opey for being like I had those feelings. I
know that he'd never do that,

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My half sibling is actually my biological sibling…I don’t know how to tell my parents! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP1970