My husband DEMANDED I get plastic surgery…on my belly button! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John. This is the mmmmm okay Storytime podcast hosts,
and we have some oh story is coming up for you.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
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Speaker 3 (00:15):
Hmmm, my husband demanded I get plastic surgery on my
belly button.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Continue.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
My husband has asked multiple times if I would be
open to get plastic surgery to fix how my belly
button looks after having three kids. Immediately he's the ale, yeah, immediately,
you're great. By the way, this comes from Throwaway Holland
on the r slash Okay Storytime sub bredd it. So
I have always been in good shape and I'm happy
with how I look now. I understand what he's saying,

(00:44):
but that's just how my body is going to look
now that I have had kids.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Maybe from his perspective, he's like, I'm only asking you
to change your belly button. I'm not asking you to
change anything crazy.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
It's only go asking you to change your face. But
if you wanted to, I would be open today.

Speaker 1 (00:59):
I just can't stand your navel God and maybe other
parts of you that I haven't told you. Well, we'll
work up to those.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
Yeah, I work out, have a healthy body fat percentage,
and no amount of diet or exercise is going to
take away the fact that I've had three pregnancies. He
brought it up again with friends at dinner last night,
and I felt incredibly embarrassed. Oh my god, here in
front of people in public talking about your body.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
Maybe they're all like plastic surgery adjacent friends.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
I respect people who get plastic surgery because it makes
them feel better, but this would be something I purely
did for him, and honestly, I'm not even sure if
it's possible. He's like, I'd like to invent a new surgery.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
I'm gonna make you the experiment.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
I'm not expecting miracle advice here, but I'd really appreciate
the ideas on how I can put into words what
I'm feeling. How can I explain what he's saying is
so hurtful in simple language? What are some of the
metaphors I could use with him so he understands what
it would be like me saying, is it fair to
consider at least going to a plastic surgeon to find
out more? Anyone had a similar type of conversation with

(02:02):
their husband and there is an update before. But I
think that if it is not something that you thought
of yourself, and someone else is putting this in your mind,
you shouldn't do it.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
It's totally fair to if it's not coming from you,
to be like, there's no necessity for me to do this.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
You weren't thinking about it at all. It would literally
just be to appease him. And in this case, he
has no right to ask that.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, but clearly, I mean, man, it must just really bother.
Can you imagine being that guy to where at the
point where you're trying to like get your friends to
take your side of being like, yeah, weird, messed up
belly button.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
He's like, babe, babe, show him your belly button.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Hey, flash him the messed up belly button that you got. Yeah. Yeah,
don't get to agree with me. I don't want him
to think I'm crazy, babe.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Come on.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
And the friends are like, this is weird. Slyly Toad
says this might be a full on Tommy Tuck situation.
That's not a small surgery, Like does he think it's
a quick fix like botox?

Speaker 4 (02:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (02:57):
I don't know what he's thinking.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
Man, Amanda had the right take.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah, because she was asking for some metaphors. Just tell
him to get you know, his stuff fixed.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
Maybe you need a bigger willie, a bigger will. Where
there's a will, there's a way.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
But there is an update, so let's get into it.
First off, I am overwhelmed by the amount of comments
and feedback. Thank you so much for the community who,
for the most part, took my concerns seriously and provided kind, thoughtful,
helpful feedback. To provide an update, I confronted my husband
last night about his comments. He agreed that saying that
in public was inappropriate, and he accepts they were far

(03:32):
out of line.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
Yeah, out of line is correct, that's wild.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
He admitted that he's struggling with his own self image
and that's part of the problem. Well, like, that's a
separate issue that you should not be projecting. He also
admitted that he's struggling with how my body has changed. Yeah,
so you almost had something there, and then you went back.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
You fumbled the bag at the goal line. Dude, you
were almost about to sound cute.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
Almost there. He basically wishes I still looked like I
in my twenties. So Opius thirty eight now it's been
eighteen years, it's not gonna look like a twenty year old,
and is frustrated that I don't. You did not think
that the belly was pregnancy related. He thought I had
let myself go. This man needs to read If you
are a you know, person who is not going through

(04:17):
the pregnancy, you need to read up on everything that
your partner is going to go through. You know, whoever's
given the birth, you need to read up and what
it's gonna do their body, how it's gonna affect their
mental health, all that jazz, so that you can properly
be there for them.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
You don't want to be the guy who's like, I
had no pregnancy affected your body like that. I thought
you were just a slob.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
He said. He still loves me, but feels like his
preferences haven't changed. My body has I cried a lot.
This isn't the man I married. We've agreed to go
to couples counseling. I feel pretty numb, to be honest,
I never ever would have thought our marriage had major problems.
I don't want to make this political, but I do
think he's been sucked into a vortex of podcasts and

(04:57):
YouTubers who don't have a very positive perspective on women
in general. Oh boy, I don't know if that's what political.
It's just true.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah, I think it's like people call it political, but
now it's more like the social politics. So three kids
with this woman and you're gonna be like, honestly, babe,
you're looking kind of gross and I'm a hot quality man.
I think God deserve better than this.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
It's ridiculous, juice. Yeah, No, honestly, I think counseling makes sense.
But divorce is maybe on the horizon in this situation. Yes,
we'll be voting for opposite parties, and honestly, I think
that does play a role. The word I'm looking for
is resentful. It feels like he resents me sometimes. I
still love my husband. I think he still loves me.
Marriage is hard work. I still think my husband is

(05:36):
in there somewhere. God knows I love him more every
day we're together. Maybe he can get there too. I'm
not gonna give up. Our kids deserve this. I want
to fight because I think I'm worth it. I'm pretty
hurt though. Thanks for the love and support. God bless
and there are some relevant comments to end this story off.
I mean, it seems like one, it's him, he just
has an awful personality. He's probably also listening to people,

(05:58):
you know, talk online and on the news.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
She said, Oh, this is not the husband that I married.
It's not the man I knew.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
Well, I do think, I mean, like not to go
into like too many specifics, but I do think that
we are seeing a lot of content both on the
news and on like YouTube and social media and stuff
where men are very comfortable speaking about women's bodies and
being very like hyper critical and then not really having
a lot of pushback against that. And so I feel

(06:25):
like if she's saying that he's, you know, watching that
kind of stuff, it makes sense.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
It feels too like he's like trying to preserve this
like this youth that he had because now they're in
their late thirties and he's trying to be like, oh,
but I'm gonna act like I'm twenty two, being like, uh.

Speaker 4 (06:40):
You're not hot enough for me, babe, You're not hot
enough anymore.

Speaker 3 (06:43):
I'm gonna leave.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
Well, I guess he didn't say he's gonna leave, but
I mean, I guess that's what else are you gonna do?
That's the implication. Yeah, like you get hotter, you get
hotter now, or I leave man, leave.

Speaker 3 (06:55):
Grow backwards, be twenty again.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
Come on, I thought I married Benjamina Button.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
I thought that you were gonna be ugly when you
were a baby, and then you were gonna get hot.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
God a hot old lady.

Speaker 3 (07:07):
But there are some relevant comments. Wildlife policy chick says
he brought this up in public in front of others.
Oh my god, if it was me, there would be
hell to pay for that. So since you kept telling
him no, he decides to raise the stakes by humiliating
you in front of friends.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
And you'd be humiliated if you didn't join us every
weekday alive on YouTube at three pm Pacific Standard time
and not.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
Kal Mar says, I'm so sorry. It's awful. I admire
you for standing strong and feeling good about your body
despite it all, as you should, no matter how it
actually looked. But I suspect you anyway look great. Don't
let him and his red pill content break your spirit.
I don't know what kind of hotties he thinks his
middle aged but could get if he was single or divorced.
But he is in for a rough awakening. Yeah, and

(07:54):
he doesn't even have a good personality to make up
for his lack of looks.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
He is the personality of a wet towel, uninformed fifteen
year old.

Speaker 3 (08:02):
Yes, my god, and for what the thing is, I
would get a nick so major about his character deficit
and be so appalled about what all of this says
about him. I doubt I would ever want to be
intimate ever again. I truly think this would be it
for me, and I'm not one to give up easy.
You know the statistics about cancer and divorce rates. Men
leave their sick wives six times more likely than the reverse.

(08:24):
You think he would stick with you if your hair
falls out in clumps and missecto me. He can't even
handle a freaking belly button. And life is long and
hard and aging and illness comes for us all a plan. Accordingly,
he showed you who he is or who he became.
It sucks all around. Counseling is a good idea last
ditch effort, and even if it doesn't work, you will
know that at least you gave it your all. I

(08:44):
wish you all the best, and that is the end.
I think one. Counseling is always good because they have kids.
For the kids, yeah, you should always have counseling just
to be good co parents even if you divorce.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
The children are our future.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
Divorce is a good idea because I think I agree
with that commenter of like this is his reaction to
her body changing now just after kids. I mean, thirty
eight is not old. It's like, you know, you still
look fairly young. How is that going to change as
she gets older? Is he going to cheat on her?
You know? Is he gonna leave her later?

Speaker 1 (09:14):
I mean also, I mean, how good looking is this guy?
Is he going to be like one of those like,
you know, like Robert de Niro he's eighty six years
old having kids, Like he's like, it's just what I do.
I don't know, but I will say that last comment,
really that did strike accord with me, because it's true.
It's like if he's willing to sort of press the
issue on this or it's like not even pressing the issue.

(09:36):
But it's more of like if this is his perspective, yes,
this age right, forty four, he totally could be the
person who's like, you know, babe, I know you have cancer,
but it's really hard for me to deal with it,
so I'm gonna leave. Yeah, and you don't want to
be with somebody like that. My husband accused me of
getting plastic surgery because I look better than him. He's

(09:58):
jealous of his own hot wife.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
I know you got plastic surgery on that belly button.
I know.

Speaker 1 (10:04):
Show me that belly button before and after. I let
me take it, let me examine. Okay, this is a
bit of an odd situation that has been brewing for
about a month or so. My husband and I are
the same age. I look young for my age. I'm
not bragging. I'm just aware of this, and I've had
many people tell me this or assume I'm in my
early twenties.

Speaker 3 (10:23):
I'm really hoping that I get my parents aging. Presumably
I would, but I'm really hoping because they've aged freaking well.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
I've got some good aging jeans as well. And I
hated it in high school because everyone said I looked
like a little Yeah, everyone said I look like a baby,
little baby, and I did, but now I still kind
of do up.

Speaker 3 (10:39):
Until I turned this age, everyone thought I was like twelve.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
It's nice, I mean, now it's nice. Yeah, Now I'll
take it. My husband doesn't look old, but he does
look his age and this is not a bad thing,
and it all boils down to genetics, as my parents
didn't start looking older or getting wrinkles until they were
in their fifties, same with most of my family.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
Damn.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
And by the way, this comes from a user thorau
are a aging issues on the RK storytime subreddit. Recently,
he has become very passive aggressive due to this fact,
the fact that I look good and he looks old.
He has even accused me of going behind his back
to get surgery or treatments to look younger than him

(11:22):
on purpose to make him look bad. We literally had
an argument that lasted over three days and ended with
him not speaking to me for a full day because
he had convinced himself that I was going behind his
back to get filler slash botox, slash laser treatments. ETTC.
I have never had any work done at all. I

(11:44):
just look like this and he does not like it.
Jealous of your own hot wife was not on my
bingo card today, Like yeah, it's.

Speaker 3 (11:52):
Like you should be like, oh my god, my wife
is so freaking hot.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
You should be like, oh, you didn't have work done
oh is hot?

Speaker 4 (12:01):
Oh look at my hot wife day?

Speaker 3 (12:04):
Where is that? Where is that energy?

Speaker 1 (12:06):
Yeah, it's not there. He's just jelly. So yesterday his
sister came over. She got married about two months ago ish,
and came over to show us some of the wedding pictures.
My husband and I were in some of these pictures,
and as soon as he saw one with both of
us in it, he shut down, left the room and
told his sister to get the f out of his house.

(12:27):
I feel I don't know who I feel worse for,
like the sister or the wife in this situation. She's
swing wedding pictures to her family and then he's just like, leave,
get out of my house. It was very odd. We're
both a bit startled and tried to calm him down,
but he just blew up even more and screamed in
her face to get out, so she did. I got

(12:47):
angry and asked him what his problem is, and he
went off on a whole rant about how it's not
fair that I look half his age and that women
are supposed to age like milk. No idea what this means.
I'll tell you what it means. It means that women
are supposed to get all chunky and gross. That's so rude,
like milk when you leave it out. That's not even true,

(13:09):
while men are supposed to age like fine wine. Jennifer Lopez, anybody,
I think.

Speaker 3 (13:14):
This is okay, really quick, because there's more to the strain.
I think this is just a perception. Men and women
don't age. I mean, you know, unless you're different genetics
and stuff. But like across the board, we don't age
that much differently. There is just a higher standard for
women to age, like to not age basically like men
are allowed to look.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yes, actually it's super true. It's like men can like
get older and it's like, oh what the silver fox.

Speaker 3 (13:40):
And then and then we see women, you know who
like a lot of people are very critical of women
who older, women who get like botox and stuff, and
so they do look not necessarily like they don't always
look super natural, and so there people are really critical
of that, even though society has literally said you can't age.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
It's a lose lose. It's a lose lose for older women,
it really is. I told him this was a ridiculous
way of thinking, since a lot of aging processes have
to do with genetics or lifestyle, so it doesn't even
make sense to expect everyone of a specific gender to
age the same way. Yeah, I'm feeling like this guy

(14:16):
got red pilled, Yes.

Speaker 3 (14:18):
Except he got like opposite red pilled. So he was like,
my wife is ugly, and this guy's like, my wife's
too hot.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
He watched a satirical video and took it like deeply, just.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
Right, my wife is too hot.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yeah, my wife's too hot. Help me. He kind of
refused to listen to me at this point and has
now become obsessed with looking into plastic surgery and face
lips and keeps passively aggressively asking me how much mind
cost and where I got mine? Leave him because this
is wild behavior. He is being very cruel and keeps
making all these little digs at me, and I don't
like it. How do I get him to stop? And

(14:51):
how do I calm down his fears regarding aging? Dear
reply says this is very strange. First, a thirty two
year old man does not even look old, and he
is too young for a midlife crisis. Even if he
had some reason to be dissatisfied with his appearance, his
behavior is wild. There is something really wrong with him psychologically.
I don't really have any useful advice. Perhaps you can

(15:14):
seek therapy. That's therapy. Can we get a little fair
up bit fair bit therapy?

Speaker 3 (15:21):
So I thought you got to do another one, but
then you didn't.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
I ruined the flow there, it's on me. I'll go
to therapy for that. To GUIDs you want how to
deal with this. I fear that it will escalate. Keep
an eye on him for any other signs of irrational behavior.
Maybe he has a brain tumor or something. Good luck
and you don't need any luck to join us every
weekday at three pm on YouTube, we are live. Just
click tap that profile comment. Okay, and we have one

(15:45):
more relevant comment here from cautious rub twenty five eighty
three on behalf of all the citizens of the planet.
Leave this dude. He is full on nuts and he
sounds like he's one offhanded comment from a stranger away
from absolutely snapping and doing something crazy. Please leave. You
deserve better. Op women are supposed to age like milk

(16:07):
means that you and every other woman in the world
are supposed to be aging uglier with time. Big red
flag right there. What kind of media does he consume?
Sounds like he's red pill adjacent.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Sure does.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
Yeah, he's just one common away from like becoming the joker.

Speaker 3 (16:19):
Societies is that women are supposed to age like milk,
but my wife is too hot.

Speaker 1 (16:25):
I can't remember the story from the movie. I just
remember the one where he's like, my father, what admer?
That was good, Yeah, but I can't say the rest
of that.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
Robert King says therapy for sure unless he got wild
son or other damage. Otherwise it's something psychological, like people
with certain eating disorders who are tiny but think they
are a fat when they aren't.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
Well, it's like a self image, and you know, all
kinds of people they I think everyone suffers with self
image at some point.

Speaker 3 (16:53):
Yeah, it's just making sure that you're not putting it
on other people. I mean, obviously sometimes you need outside help,
which is that's totally fine, but it's like not making
other people feel bad.

Speaker 1 (17:02):
If anyone in the chat right now is considering therapy
for any reason, I highly suggest that you, yes, get
it done if you can. I know, sometimes it's hard
to get into it because it's like, you know, it's
insurance and price and all that stuff, and it's it's rough,
but anything is better than nothing, for sure, agreed.

Speaker 3 (17:19):
My mom's new boyfriend lied about his age. He's twelve
years older than he said he was.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
That's pretty old. That is a whole child worth of age.
That is a whole grown child. That is almost a teenager.

Speaker 3 (17:31):
So my twenty four female mom fifty four female is
currently dating a man, Max. They met at work at
their healthcare professionals. Max is very caring, sweet, generous, and
a gentleman. He cooks, he gives her veggies from his garden.
They laugh a lot. He's a gentle soul. By the way,
this comes from Master Sweet fall on the r slash. Okay,

(17:52):
story time separated it. So they're not a couple yet,
but they spend a lot of time together. Things are
going well. My mom thinks it's going fast. But even
if she told them she wanted to take her time,
they're always together. She's not the best with communication. Max
asked my mother if she was the jealous type. She
said she's absolutely not, which is true. He replied he was.

(18:15):
It hasn't been a huge problem so far, but my
mom is still friends with my father since they had
four children together and I've been together for twenty nine
years before they were separated. It's purely platonic. But I'm
scared Max doesn't see it that way. Maybe I'm overthinking.
My mom is my best friend and I don't want
her to get hurt. Aw, the real issue is we're
not sure about Max's age when they first started hanging

(18:38):
out about two or three months ago. I'm really bad
with time, so could be a little less or a
little more. My mother asked him how old he was,
and he had a cryptic answer. He said something about
getting retired at fifty five and that it's been three years.
So Mom said, so you're fifty eight according to her.
He said yes, we think he looks older, but assumed
he was saying the truth. A couple weeks ago, Max

(18:59):
went to mom's fae friends, Judith's job. She works in
some sort of bank that is essentially the equivalent of
credit unions in the US. Judith got really curious, and
after Max left, she got his information in her work computer.
In his folder, she saw, Max, what's freaking.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
Seventy the Big seven old?

Speaker 3 (19:17):
Why would you? I mean, if they're already like vibin,
why would you lie?

Speaker 1 (19:21):
I think the lie is more weird than being seventy.
You can't help it if you like a seventy year old.

Speaker 3 (19:25):
That's not even a weird age gap at that age,
you know, like she's fifty eight being with a or
you know, fifty four or something being with a seventy
year old's not that weird.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
Well, I guess it's more of like you know now,
I mean, seventy is like right up on the line
I think for most people have before you truly become like, oh,
seventy five and seven, Like there's a big difference between
like seventy five and fifty, like sixty right.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
Sure, just a weird thing for him to lie about.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
Super weird. No, it's well, I mean, I guess is
understandable because he's like nervous, but like it's still wrong.

Speaker 3 (19:55):
I just think it's weird because like it was already
going well. Yeah, like he was already been, you know,
in the clear.

Speaker 1 (20:01):
Then that makes more because he's like I do it's
going well, I don't want to ruin it by being seventy.

Speaker 3 (20:06):
I can't help it. My mother didn't and still doesn't
know what to do with that information. She can't just
confront Max about it because Judith could lose her job
if he knew she looked into personal information without authorization
or a good reason. Also, yeah, wait, that is weird
that she just like God.

Speaker 1 (20:21):
Is information completely risk your livelihood and employment just to like,
I feel like this dude's older.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
Oh slyly Tove says that's sixteen years. It's twelve years
older than he said he was, which is what I
meant because he said he was fifty.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
Eight, and I gotta say that. One of the comments
said that John's probably seventy.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
Max has two adult children that live about an hour away,
but my mom hasn't met them yet, so she can't
question them or bring the subject with them in a conversation.
She also told me not to tell my siblings about
the situation. We talked a lot about the issue. My
mom doesn't mind dating older men, but when she was
thinking about her future with him, she has doubts when
she'll be sixty four years old, be eighty instead of

(21:01):
sixty eight. It's not the same reality. My dad has
a lot of health issues, and she's cared a lot
for him when they were together and is not sure
she wants to do that again. How could you build
something strong and sincere with someone that lied to you
about something as basic as his age from the very beginning.
A couple of days ago, my mom was having a
conversation with Max. She told him that if they wanted

(21:22):
to build something strong, they had to be honest, and
that she had doubts about what he told her about
his age. Not her exact words, but that's what it meant.
She reminded him what he told her he had retired
when he was fifty five. It's been three years. He
looked either confused or nervous, and he said he told
her he was in fact fifty eight when he retired,

(21:42):
and that he was sixty five, which is.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
Still not true.

Speaker 3 (21:45):
He's like, oh, I'm sorry, you must have understood. I'm
actually I'm sixty five, and she's like, nope, that we're
still not there yet.

Speaker 1 (21:51):
We were not a little bit of a gap there.

Speaker 3 (21:53):
The math ain't mavin. I know he started working again
because COVID hit our healthcare system really hard. So maybe
that's where the missing year in the occasion worm. I
don't know. My mom told me she could have misunderstood
the first time, but she doesn't think she did. I
don't know if Judith also misread his information in his folder,
but I highly doubt that. Today, after eating at my
mom's together, the three of us were in his car.

(22:15):
They were driving me back at my place. She saw
his work badge with his face and made a joke
about how he looks like a cerealaler on the picture
and that she wonders how he looks on his driver's license,
kind of hinting that she wanted to see it.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
Interesting. Yeah, interesting segue.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
She's like, you look like a cereal miller. Let me
see your driver's license.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
I wonder if you look like it on there too.

Speaker 3 (22:34):
Not so subtle, mom. He just shrugged it off, laughed
and changed the subject. She doesn't want to break his
trust and look for it in his wallet, even if
he did break her trust by lying to her. She's
just not that kind of person, and it's one of
her many qualities.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
I'd like to have.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
That joke sounds mean, but it was actually very funny.
Max has a great sense of humor and didn't think
it was rude.

Speaker 4 (22:54):
The serial joke.

Speaker 3 (22:55):
Yes, I'm hopeful because he told her a closer number
to the actual age she be, but he still lied again.
It sucks because, as I said, my mother struggles with communication.
She's a people pleaser and hates confrontation, and having to
keep digging for the truth makes it even harder. She's
very trusting, but she's understandably having doubts. And I don't

(23:18):
know that. You guys can join us live every week
at three pm PSD just tap our profile. That's right,
there is a little bit more to this story. But
what do you think we do?

Speaker 1 (23:27):
I think this guy needs to be pressed and like, honestly,
I think I saw a comment on there earlier. It
was talking about it could maybe be early like onset
Alzheimer's or something, which is like if you truly don't
know your own age, that's and you can come from
that perspective instead of being like show me your driver's
like I want to know how old you are, it's like, hey,
like I'm kind of concerned you might not know your
own age. Like that's maybe a warning sign, you know, O.

Speaker 3 (23:50):
Would He's so funny if he was lying about and
you're like, I'm really concerned that you don't know how
old you are and.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
He's like, just lye and that's what And then he
either commits to lying and now he has to pret
he has Alzheimer's, which really hard to keep up, like,
or he just goes all right, yes, I'm seventy.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
You got me, you and your meddling kid.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah, he would be a Scooby Doo villain at that age,
like holds it all.

Speaker 3 (24:12):
He's a little bit older. He's like, I'm eighty. Tony
Spiliaco says. The Census Bureau has an age search service.
Obie's mom's coworkers should be okay, okay, and it's pretty beaches.
I gotta say, though, man's looking good for his age.
If everyone's like, how old are you, dude.

Speaker 1 (24:28):
They can't clock that he's seventy. He's got those good
genes literally literally.

Speaker 3 (24:33):
But there's a little bit more to the story. Na's
already met my grandmother, mom's mom, some of her friends,
and all of her children were all grown up. My
brother is sixteen. As stated, I'm twenty four, and my
sisters are twenty eight and thirty, So it wouldn't be
too harsh if he entered our lives and left it
as is. But it's still a lot of commitment meeting
your special friend's family. I'm, however, not sure if it's

(24:55):
a big step for my mother. Since we're so involved
in her life, he kind of had to meet us
if he wanted to spend time with her. We all
like him, especially my brother and I because since we
live closer, him at my mother's and me at a
five minute drive away, we have met him up more often.
My mom is a history of dating men that are
not even half as great as her, that have a
lot of issues, and he's my favorite so far. He's

(25:16):
the most saying of them. So I guess you just
have to ask yourself, you know, can you push past this?

Speaker 1 (25:22):
I think if I can maybe try to play a
little devil advocate and maybe frame this is a cute
thing right in a cute way.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
Right.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
It's like this older gentleman, he's seventy right, clearly is
very into Op's mom, like they're getting along. You bring
it up in like the Hey, I'm concerned that your
brain is misfiring. You know.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
I think she needs to confront him about this.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
He needs to be pressed on it. But if from
my perspective, I think it's really coming from a place
where he's like he just doesn't want to ruin it.
Maybe he has had relationships be ruined in the past
just because of how old he is, even though clearly
he's young enough in spirit to where people are like,
is this guy's that's kind of ridiculous, Like and so
you know, maybe it's coming from all love. He's like,

(26:04):
I just care about you, and I just was so
scared you want to leave me because I'm seventy.

Speaker 3 (26:08):
I think she needs to confront him and say, hey,
I found some stuff that you're seventy and see what
he says, and if he still keeps up the lie,
then you know, then.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
If he keeps lying, because it's also it is fair
to be like, I need to know how old you are,
because you get to a certain age, certain things begin
to happen. And it's like we were talking about earlier.
Time comes for everybody, time comes for us all. You know,
there's a big difference between like, yeah, twelve years is
a lot once you start to get up into those
higher ages, Like big difference between seventy and eighty two, right,
Like big difference between sixty and seventy two, Like absolutely

(26:37):
big deals, big deals. Hey, it's Sam, We're gonna get
back to these stories.

Speaker 4 (26:40):
But here's three of bits of bads from our sponsors
that keep the show alive.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
My wife destroyed a sculpture I made. It's been a
year and I still resent her for it.

Speaker 4 (26:50):
I destroyed my mom's sculpture when I was a kid,
and she still resents But I can relate.

Speaker 2 (26:59):
My wife and I have been married for three years
and we had our first baby last year. My wife
did go through a lot of hormonal episodes during postpartum,
and she had a lot of mood swings. By the way,
this comes from former Rose on the Best of Redditor subreddit.
So a couple months of postpartum, she broke my handsome

(27:21):
glass sculpture, which I had spent a couple of months
working on as a birthday gift for my sister.

Speaker 4 (27:30):
Not the handsome gold handsome sculture. If it was ugly,
that's cool.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
You don't what I'm thinking of right now. The squid
word sculpture.

Speaker 4 (27:36):
I was the handsome sid word. Yeah, he made a
handsome squid word sculpture, and she brought.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
This is what's going to be my mind. The whole time.
My wife called my name many times that she needed help.
But I was working on the engravings for the sculpture,
and I was really concentrated on it. I was going
to go to my wife in a just a few minutes,
but my wife got very frustrated and she just barged
it to my room and threw the sculpture on the

(28:04):
ground and broke it. I was shocked, and my wife
immediately apologized a lot, but I didn't want to stress
her out too much, so I told her it was
all right and that I should have responded when she
called my name. The next week, she went to the
doctor and my wife got prescribed meds for PPD. My
wife's smooth swing instantly shifted a lot after she started

(28:26):
taking those meds.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
My wife did apologize constantly and felt very guilty about
breaking the glass sculpture, and she cried a few times,
but I told her it was all right to let
it go. It's been a year now, and while we're
still back to normal, I still hold a lot of resentment.
I feel like a part of my love for my
wife was gone when she broke the sculpture, and I
could not imagine anyone, let alone my wife, doing such

(28:52):
a terrible thing. Am I the a hole?

Speaker 4 (28:56):
I'm curious if there's like a lot of visual just
upsetting this from the phase of her going through these
moodswings and being in this time of her life and
it's just resentful over the period, or it's like this
specific case of the sculpture, he just can't like he
makes sculpture.

Speaker 2 (29:14):
It sounds like he made sculptures for a life, for
like his life, right, or a hobby.

Speaker 4 (29:19):
Well it was for a family member.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
Okay, so probably a hobby. He spent a lot of
time on it. Do you think the right response for
him to say it was all right? Whenever it wasn't.

Speaker 4 (29:30):
I think in the moment, like she's freaking out, she's
super upset, breaks it and then starts freaking out about
like being sorry for breaking the sculpture. I think in
that moment, maybe it's like best case scenario and not
saying everyone could do this, but just like pause, be
like what's going on? Yeah, like what you need? Like

(29:51):
are you freaking out? So just to be like what's
going on, Like, let's let's just take a pause at
like if you're able to, yeah, like like of course
your sculpture just got broken. So if you have an
emotional reaction, that makes sense. So I think in the
moment it was like it is what it is. You know,
we can't. It's kind of hard to control our big
reactions in the moment. But after the case, I think

(30:13):
one hundred percent he needed to be able to communicate like, Hey,
I'm super upset about this. I feel really hurt that
my sculpture you just destroy it.

Speaker 2 (30:23):
So that's on him that he didn't bring it up.

Speaker 4 (30:26):
So did he say he never brought it up.

Speaker 2 (30:27):
He just said it was all right and he didn't
want to stress her out because she was going through
such a like emotional turmoil.

Speaker 4 (30:33):
He said it was all right, and then he still
just never expressed Yeah, regardless, if someone is able to
handle like your upsetness and you bringing that to them,
if you hold it in, especially if it's your partner,
it's gonna build resentment and then out and then later
on it's just gonna blow up.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
Now we have some comments, commoner one talk it out now,
resentment rot's a relationship comment or two. To be honest,
I would hold a lot of resentment for a partner
who refused to help me when I needed help and
was par pod them with a newborn. I absolutely don't
condone breaking things, but I do know what rage is
part of depression, and that not help, not having enough

(31:15):
support definitely contributes to worsening PPD info. Was this the
only time she asks for multiple times for help? Common three?
Not the a hole for having her feelings, But I
feel like you and your wife have different perspective of
what actually happened. You see a crazy woman who smashed
her sculpture, and she saw a man who wouldn't answer
her cries for help, who would rather tend to a

(31:38):
piece of glass than his wife or baby. Go see
a therapist with your wife instead of Reddit update September
twenty seconds.

Speaker 4 (31:46):
I feel like that's the answer to all these stories.
Seek a therapist, not read it.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
Yeah, Red, it's like tier one of therapy, like to
get your head right, get you out of whatever mind
thing you have, and then tier two is a therapist.

Speaker 4 (32:00):
You should see an actual theory.

Speaker 2 (32:01):
Oh yeah, yeah, what are your thoughts on it? What
are my thoughts on it? Therapy? Dude? I mean they're
both in the wrong here. He's in the wrong for
holding this in for so long. She was in the
wrong for breaking things, and he's also in the wrong
for not like attending to her. It was just a
you know, mistakes happened. She's gotten over it, She's fixed
her side of it. He needs to now take ownership

(32:23):
and fix his side of it by confronting her and
figuring out how to deal with this situation.

Speaker 4 (32:28):
I would just zoom out and see, like on both sides,
like he was involved with something, he was engaged with
something and wasn't paying attention. Whether that's right or wrong,
doesn't really matter. And then on his wife's side, she
was dealing with postpartum depression. She having crazy moon swings,
and it is like the thing happened, regardless of like
who's in the right or wrong, Like the thing happened,

(32:50):
and what needs to be addressed is like the repair. Yeah, exactly,
he's in the he's hurting over this. He can't forgive
his wife. It needs to be expressed, exactly.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
I completely update. I read some of the comments and
got some good suggestions. I realized I had to be
honest and upfront with my wife. My wife and I
had a long talk where I finally told her about
everything I was bottling up over the past year. I
told my wife I don't blame her since she had PPD,

(33:20):
but it was just hard not to feel resentful. I
told her I understood why she was frustrated at the moment,
and that I should have immediately responded when she called me.
But I told her I would have preferred if she
shouted at me or even slap me or something, rather
than breaking that sculpture. Anything but the sculpshire. That was
just heartless and cruel. My wife seemed very remorseful and

(33:44):
apologized a lot and cried. She asked if there was
anything she could do to undo what she had done
the last year, and if there was any way I
could not have that resentment since it really hurt her
a lot. I thought about this for the past couple
of hours, and I realized that there was only one
way where I could completely let go of that resentment.

(34:04):
I told my wife I would be sewing a handmade
memory quilt for my sister's birthday next year. This would
take almost a year, and I told my wife. Once
I do finish and I give it to my sister
and give my sister the gift, that's when my resentment
would probably go away. Oh wow, so it's gonna take
another year. Oh my god, I have to do with

(34:25):
his wife him This sculpture was for his sister and
he wasn't able to give her something nice.

Speaker 4 (34:32):
God now, so he's like, now, when I'm able to
give her something nice, then I'll forgive you. It seems
I don't know. In my head, it seems kind of
removed from the wife.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
Yeah, yeah, here's here's what he said about it. My
wife seemed grateful and asked if she could help. I
told her not for this gift, but maybe in the future.
The truth is, I don't really feel super comfortable trusting
my wife with this, given how she destroyed my previous gift.
It's psychological and I'll most likely regain the trust once
I finished sewing quilt.

Speaker 4 (35:00):
He's like, not my next handsome creation.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
I haven't told my wife about the trust issue, as
I think it's just a me issue, not my wife's issue.
And then one last comment, OPI taking too much time
away from his wife and child to make the gift. OPI, No,
it doesn't take much time. I only work on it
if I'm free. It's usually just only twenty to thirty minutes.
It never goes over an hour. And it isn't about
punishing my wife. I just want to reciprocate because over

(35:25):
the past couple of years, my sister has given me
really detailed, handcrafted gifts. I usually never do handcrafted gifts,
but it isn't right to just buy a gift off
Amazon for my sister's birthday after she spent months making
my gift. Comment or one OPI holds onto resentment for
a year and finally talks to his wife about it.

(35:45):
Now he's keeping the secret that he doesn't trust her either,
always working on a year long quilt while his child
will be a toddler and his wife will still need help.
This can only end well, this is a cycle, dude,
This did not end at all, er standing, He's a
the resentment part of a year making over the quill. Sure,

(36:05):
but not trusting your wife after you know she needed
medical help. That's crazy, dude. That part's wild.

Speaker 4 (36:12):
I feel like whether again, like whether it's right or wrong,
Like he just doesn't trust her, Like he's still holding
onto that, which I could I could understand having trust
issues with that, but I think again, it's it's gonna
be probably be the same thing. If you hold onto
the trust of your wife, which is essentially the foundation
of a relationship, there's gonna be even more issue yeah,

(36:33):
so I don't think the best course of action is
to continue holding things from your wife. But also I'm
happy that he finally told her and that she was
receptive after all this time, right, she could have been like, oh,
that was so long ago. I think how he's feeling
so good?

Speaker 2 (36:47):
That is good? Yeah huh, but he I still see
a cycle when he needs to go to therapy and
break it. What do you think he's doing that cycle again,
of like holding holding things in, not letting it out,
keeping it balled up. I would be like, I don't
trust you. The reason you're not I don't want you
to help me is because I don't even trust you.
I think you should say that.

Speaker 4 (37:07):
Sounds like a yeah, a conversation that needs to happen.
If you don't trust your partner, it kind of needs
to be expressed. And then at that point then you
could like build you could work together collaboratively to build
back trust exactly, but it needs to be like uncovered. First.

Speaker 2 (37:22):
Hey, it's John here.

Speaker 1 (37:22):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick
three minute ad break from our.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
Sponsors that keep the show going.

Speaker 4 (37:27):
I refuse to have kids with my husband because he
went back on his ward. I thirty six female, IMM
a neurologist, and I absolutely love my patients and my job.
I believe there is no greater honor in life than
being able to help others. The road to my medical
degree was not easy, and it was paved with many rejections.
I was a troubled teen in high school and I

(37:47):
didn't get accepted into any colleges my senior year. I
had to work my way up, starting with remedial classes
at my local community college, starting from the bottom here
now we hear baby. When I finally got into medical
school twenty six, I was absolutely thrilled by the way
this comes from you dash obvious mistake dash seven eight
zero one on the our bore updates sub rereddit. So.

(38:11):
I met my husband thirty seven male in my third
year of medical school. Another doc there. We have been
married for four years now. My husband works in marketing.
I gain never mind, not a doctor, I thought she
met said she met him in med school. Yeah, so
my husband works in marketing and I make three times
his salary.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
Oh go boss girl, let's go man.

Speaker 4 (38:32):
From the beginning of our relationship, I was very upfront
that I was unsure about having biological children. My dream
was always to adopt from foster care, and my husband
seemingly understood this. However, after his friend had a baby
boy last year, he began to really press me on
having children. But it happens. So I was initially very
against this idea because I was just beginning my career

(38:52):
and doctor career as well, so I wanted to wait
a few a few more years before revisiting the topic
of children. Also, she was even sure if she wanted
to have biological children at all.

Speaker 2 (39:02):
I just wanted to dog. That was his agreement.

Speaker 4 (39:04):
Mm hm. So in August of last year, I found
out I was unexpectingly pregnant due to a breaking during set.

Speaker 2 (39:13):
That's a wild thing to think, but it is us
that it was on him on his I.

Speaker 4 (39:18):
Didn't think that ever happened. And then in an earlier story,
I heard of someone of a woman manipulating like to
get pregnant. Yeah. I was initially considering a surgery, but
after many heartfelt conversations with my husband, we decided to
keep the baby and he would quit his job and
stay home until our daughter was old enough to start preschool.
There were several factors that went into our decision to

(39:40):
have him stay home with our daughter. I make significantly
more money than him, boss woman, so financially it just
made more sense. I am in the first few years
of my career as an attending physician after four years
of med school on a four year residency. I'm just
starting to practice on my own, whereas my husband has
been in his career for fifteen years. So she's just
started her medical career.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
Gotcha.

Speaker 4 (40:02):
Yeah, I was very clear at absolutely zero desire to
stay at home and be a housewife. She kind of
didn't even want the child.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (40:08):
I respect stay at home mothers, but my work is
my life, and I would go crazy at home all day.
This just isn't a lifestyle I want whatsoever. Finally, I'm
not comfortable putting my child in daycare until she's old
enough to express herself verbally. As a victim of abuse
when I was young, I just do not trust people
enough to leave my daughter in the hands of strangers
when she was unable to report abute or neglect. I

(40:30):
think that's so fair. I would not personally, I would
not I by if I had the means when I
have a child, I would, by no means put them
in daycare. Yeah, personally. So. Our daughter is nine weeks
old today and I am preparing to return to my
practice in a few weeks. This weekend, I left my
husband alone with our daughter while I attended a medical
conference out of state. The conference was amazing, but when

(40:52):
I returned home, my husband began acting weird. Oh no,
what do you think is happening?

Speaker 2 (40:58):
He doesn't like being a stay at home dad. You
think that's what it is?

Speaker 4 (41:01):
Do you think he like about the whole meat raising
our child thing?

Speaker 1 (41:05):
I've not about it?

Speaker 2 (41:06):
Yeah, he like. I know, I don't know. I was
gonna have to change the time.

Speaker 4 (41:10):
It was fun while it lasted, but that's on you now.
So today, when our daughter was napping, I pressed him
to tell me what was wrong. He absolutely broke down
and said he doesn't think he could do this. He
expressed how trapped alone and overwhelmed he felt all weekend.
He now wants me to extend my maternity leave and
is talking about trying to get his job back. So
this made me freak out, and I asked, well, what

(41:32):
will we do with our daughter now? He responded by
suggesting I leave my practice and work from home. I said,
absolutely not. And he suggested daycare two.

Speaker 2 (41:43):
Things she's not about.

Speaker 4 (41:44):
Yeah, so she already stated she didn't want to be
a statement home mom barely even wanted the child, and
didn't want to do daycare because of significant trauma as
a child herself.

Speaker 2 (41:57):
Okay, here's his third option out of the same bad
she is okay with them going to daycare. Whenever she
can talk. I would be giving speech lessons asap, Like
we're gonna we're gonna just get out of talk immediately, mom.
Mom see the day like hours every day, Mom, But yeah,
that's what I'll be doing.

Speaker 4 (42:17):
I feel like even that she's not gonna be comfortable. Yeah,
if she was herself.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
Like, yeah, that's that's such so much.

Speaker 4 (42:24):
Sense that she doesn't trust to have anyone handle her daughter.
I said, absolutely not, and he suggested daycare. At this point,
I just lost my crap and screamed. If I knew
you were gonna back out of your promise to take
care of our child, to take care of our daughter,
I would have never had your child. I knew. I
completely overreacted, and I would never trade our daughter for anything.

(42:46):
I love her so much, but I'm so upset with
my husband and I'm not sure how to move forward
at this point. We have an update three months later.
Should we go into it?

Speaker 2 (42:54):
Yeah, let's go.

Speaker 4 (42:55):
Okay, Oh my gosh, going trade into it. It's been
a few months since I made my original post. I'm
not sure how to link it check my profile. I
did not accept my post to get so much attention,
and I was frankly overwhelmed by it. Thousands of comments,
hundreds of dms. I even found my post screenshotted and
uploaded on Twitter. To everyone who sent me kind and
supportive dms, thank you very much. I appreciate it more

(43:16):
than you know. To those who sent me nasty dms
criticizing me as a mother, you are part of the
reason why forty percent of female doctors go part time
or leave medicine altogether within six years of completing the residencies.
Women can want a career and a family like men
have had for hundreds of years. This does not make
us evil monsters. To those who sent me dms seeking
medical advice, I'm not comfortable giving medical advice. Over read it,

(43:39):
and I sincerely hope that you can find the care
you need.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 4 (43:43):
To those questioning why I was not on birth control.
I addressed this more in a separate comment, But hormonal
birth control does not work for every woman. Every board
certified obguin will testify to this. After trying my best
with every birth control under the sun for nearly ten years,
I decided to pull out. Would be enough? Was this
a stupid decision? Yes, but forty percent of doctors are overweight,

(44:04):
so we aren't always the best at taking care of
our own health. Regardless, I have no regrets. I love
my daughter and would not change a thing. Okay, now
for the actual update. A few days after I made
my original post, I realized how awful what I said
to my husband was. No matter how I've said, I was,
I never should have used our daughter as leverage and
an argument. Even if I had to quit my job
tomorrow and become a single mom, I would still do

(44:26):
it for her because I love her more than anything,
and I would choose her every time. I still feel
awful that I said this. It was truly a terrible
thing to say.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
Yeah, that was pretty harsh.

Speaker 4 (44:35):
Yeah, I'm glad she's owning up to it. But also
I always, for the most part, if it's not you know,
like straight out abuse. I have grace for people, yeah,
acting out and having a big reaction and saying things.
I think every single person has said something that they
don't mean in the moment. I'm glad she's owning up
to it.

Speaker 2 (44:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (44:53):
So another thing I dropped the ball on was not
being more patient and accepting with my husband. For some context,
my mother came from out of to stay with us
for the first eight weeks after I gave birth. My
husband did contribute greatly. I'd honestly say they both did
fifty percent of the work with the baby for the
first week or so while I recovered. After that, we
split the work between the three of us. So for
him to go from two people supporting him to being

(45:15):
on his own a huge for a whole weekend in
a matter of about ten days was obviously a huge shock,
and I should have realized this.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
That is a big change.

Speaker 4 (45:24):
Yeah, that's like significant amount of percentage more of work
to put on one person.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
Having to do a whole podcast by yourself. Yeah, howays go?

Speaker 4 (45:33):
His complaints about feeling trapped, overwhelmed, and alone are the
exact reasons why I have no desire to be a
stay at home mom. Yes, we had a deal, but
I should have given him space to express his concerns
openly without me flipping my crap. I stayed at my
sister's with our daughter for a few days after the
fight to give my husband some space. He would come
to visit her every day during this period, but we

(45:54):
agreed not to talk yet. When I came home, I
apologized him for mishandling the situation. What a mature Okay,
I like empathizing. She's seeing his perspective and she's apologizing. Wow,
we love a mature doctor. So to my surprise, he
actually apologized too. Whoa, So what happens when a crazy
reddit responsibility for your crap? What people respond to it?

Speaker 1 (46:17):
They're talking this through, they're communicating correctly. What was as if?

Speaker 4 (46:21):
We don't need Reddit?

Speaker 2 (46:22):
I don't even think we can just wrap it up here.

Speaker 4 (46:24):
Yeah, honestly. So, he told me that he never intended
to back out of our agreement. He just became so
overwhelmed that he was unsure he was capable of caring
for our daughter properly. He apologized for giving up so
fast and suggested that I w f H, which I
don't know what that means. He told me that no
matter what we decided to do, I should not leave
my practice. At the end of his apologies, he said
that he wanted to give being a stay at home

(46:46):
dad another shot. Good, Okay, cool, because I guess he
was just very overwhelmed in the moment.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (46:51):
We then had a very long conversation about how we
would handle things from there. He told me that caring
for our daughter was not the overwhelming part. It was
trying to keep up with the cooking and cleaning that
was interesting. So we decided to hire a maid and
buy one of those meal kit delivery services.

Speaker 2 (47:05):
Ok.

Speaker 4 (47:05):
Problem solved. Am okay, Wow, they're collaborating, they're working together.

Speaker 2 (47:10):
Nice.

Speaker 4 (47:11):
He joined one of those new parents support groups to
help reduce his isolation.

Speaker 2 (47:15):
Nice. Okay, I love this.

Speaker 4 (47:18):
Three times a week, my sister in law has agreed
to come over to babysit for a few hours so
he can go to the gym or have some meat time.

Speaker 2 (47:25):
Nice.

Speaker 4 (47:25):
I also told him that at any point he feels
like he can't be a stay at home dad anymore,
to please tell me.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (47:31):
I made it very clear that while I would be
slightly disappointed, I would be much more disappointing knowing that
he was burnt out and upset while caring for our daughter,
which makes sense. Since then, we've also taken steps to
strengthen our marriage, going on date nights once a week.
I don't yet feel comfortable leaving our daughter with anyone
besides families, so most of these date nights include long
walks while pushing her in a stroller, on Netflix, and

(47:54):
take out on the couch. But hey, it's working.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
Nice, it's not their dates.

Speaker 4 (47:58):
So addressing the whole poking holes in the thing, riley, Ah,
I know, I do not think this happened, so I
honestly did not even bother asked my husband this. I
felt that an accusation of this magnitude would be detrimental
to our marriage, especially when it was already in such
a fragile state. My husband has agreed to get a
SECT to me so we don't have any more happy accidents.

(48:20):
Nice snip, snip. He is scheduled for that later this year,
and we are obstaining from PIV until then. This whole
situation has made me realize I needed to go back
to therapy.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
Oh wow, nice, nice, amazing.

Speaker 4 (48:32):
I've been seeing my therapist for about six weeks now.
My CSA hasn't impacted my life for about eight years
prior to this, but having my daughter and dealing with
postpartum anxiety has stirred up some really dark thoughts. I
know that I'm being overprotective due to my trauma, and
I want to work through this so that could be
a good mother and a good partner. A lot of
people told me to leave my husband, and I'm sure
a lot of people reading this may think I'm making

(48:54):
a mistake. I know I am not. My husband had
a weak moment and broke down, but he does not
have a pattern of being unreliable tones or unsupportive. He
supported me through my final two years of med school,
which is a lot nice. There's a lot to support
someone through and throughout my residency as well. Please try
to remember that my post highlighted the worst moment our relationship.
It did not show the eight wonderful years we have

(49:14):
had together. That is the end of the story. But
I just want to say, shout out them.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
That's huge.

Speaker 4 (49:18):
They're doing everything right. She's trying to see his perspective,
he's trying to see her perspective. They're having mature emotionally
intimate conversations. They're seeing the nuance, they're coming up with
solutions collaboratively. They're trying to help him out with the workload.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
The sister's coming in and helping out.

Speaker 4 (49:37):
Sisters coming out. He's in that pure group. Honestly, this
is the number one success story I've seen on Reddit.

Speaker 2 (49:43):
Honestly, I think so same. Yeah, I don't think I've
seen these steps that they've taken to make sure that
their relationship stays together. I don't think I've seen it.
And it does help that they have the resources money
wise to do these things.

Speaker 4 (49:56):
Not anyone not even gonna get a maid or a
meal kid. It's great that they have.

Speaker 2 (50:01):
That they're able to do that. Yes, let's just hope
two years from now is three years from now, they're
able to like still keep it up because being a
stay home parent. Oh my gosh, you guys, I don't
see how you guys do it. It's wild, that's wild
a lot. My mom had to keep up with me
and my brother growing up. I don't see your brother.
He's like like eighteen months younger than me.

Speaker 4 (50:22):
Okay, so like very close knenedge, like two boys growing up. Yeah,
my mom was to stay at home mom and raised
me and my brother.

Speaker 2 (50:29):
Wow, how what's what's the difference between you guys two
years younger, he's two years older. Okay, so yeah, yeah,
let's saying oh wow, yeah, oh my gosh, it's a lot,
it's a lot.

Speaker 4 (50:40):
Yeah. So shout out these people.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (50:43):
Story

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