My husband keeps INTERFERING in issues that aren’t his… so I told him off! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2205 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the intergalactic John. This is Alien Sam on
the International Okay Storytime podcast station, and we have some
human stories coming up, not alien.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
But before we make a landing, stick around for this
two minute not alien ad break before we get to
these interstellar stories.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
My husband keeps interfering in issues that aren't his. So
I told them all beday and he can't see.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
These are all my issues, you daddy.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Why are you bothering me with my issues? These are mine. I,
twenty seven female, and my husband, twenty seven male, just
had an argument, if you could call it that. So,
my brother just got a job and it's great, except
he just got thrown into single fatherhood immediately after. He
has a daughter, my niece, who is about six months

(00:51):
old and has knowing a babysit here while he works
as the mother suddenly isn't in the picture. He called
me asking if I could watch the baby during the
week while he works only for a few weeks, since
he knows I'm a stay at home mom myself. By
the way, this comes from user star hates You, and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay Storytime subreddit. So I would have

(01:13):
said yes, but I can't. I am pregnant and have
two young kids of my own, one of which does
school from home, and I have to do it with her,
which we are still getting the hang up because we
just moved. By the time i'd prepare for that, he
wouldn't need the help anymore. He understood and asked if
I knew anyone personally who could help, because he was
out of people to ask and wanted to try to

(01:34):
avoid daycares as he just didn't trust it. He said
he would pay and cover everything, but he just urgently
needed someone, and I said I'd ask around. I don't
really have friends, and I don't know many people in general,
as I'm very introverted. But my sister in law twenty five,
lives with us and was just telling me how she
needed a job and needed money. So I proposed the

(01:55):
idea to her. She immediately agreed, and so I put
her and my brother in a group had to talk
as well, as brought my brother over to the house
to have a face to face chat about it. Now
they're not strangers, of course, they've met before, so it
wasn't awkward. They talked about the baby, what was needed,
et cetera. My brother didn't have a long term plan
mapped out right then since everything was so abrupt, But

(02:18):
my sister in law was understanding and said she'd quote
be okay with whatever, and that was that. I'm not
sure of other details as they text on their own,
and it isn't really my deal. It was up to them. Ultimately,
it came down to my brother ubering my sister in
law to his house early in the morning and then
dropping her off at home and seeing how things go,
which she agreed to. Everything seemed fine until the day up.

(02:42):
My husband came into our room and blindsided me with
all these complaints on her behalf. He said my sister
in law had not eaten since the morning, that she
wasn't comfortable and she was tired, and that she didn't
even need to be there because other people were home
and could have watched the baby, and that they only
gave her one hundred dollars blah blah blah, et cetera,
et cetera.

Speaker 4 (03:02):
Is he coming in and being like, oh my god,
I just got like all of these things, or is
he like, oh, pe, sister in law doesn't even need
a bit, she's uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
That one, because that's crazy. That one.

Speaker 4 (03:13):
If I I'll be like, oh, okay, let's feed her. Geez,
are you angry too?

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (03:18):
Do you need a stack too?

Speaker 1 (03:19):
I'd yeah, I'd I'd be asking where he first of all,
who he thought he was? Who do you think you are? Anyway?
I was confused because I spoke to sister in law
while she was there to check in on her, and
she said everything was fine. So I told him she
didn't say any of those things to me, and I
asked her and she said she wasn't complaining to him.

(03:41):
So I said to him bluntly, so she's not complaining,
you are complaining for her, And he said, yeah, Oh.

Speaker 4 (03:49):
That's even worse.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
I told him I was confused because he was throwing
it all at me as if it's my responsibility, and
that sister in law and my brother are two adults
who made their own deal. That was up to her
and she agreed to it. Nobody was forcing her to
do this. If she was uncomfortable or anything, all she
had to do was say it. He continued to repeat
the complaints and said, do I have to get involved?

(04:12):
I told him the deal doesn't involve him, or me
for that matter, And I don't understand why he's the
only one upset here when it has nothing to do
with him.

Speaker 4 (04:22):
Also, the door, I have to get involved? So condescending?

Speaker 5 (04:25):
Do I have to get involved? Man have to get
involved here?

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Involved? And it looked like the man might have to
be involved now hood over your face is about to
get involved with my fist. Sir, you single handedly walked
in and made everything worse. I wouldn't do that, though,
so he told me he can't even have a conversation
with me and left the room. I'm genuinely confused. Am
I missing something here? My sister in law is also

(04:52):
confused as to why he even got worked up to
begin with. Am I the ahle comment number one? Not
the a hole? Did he forget that his sister is
a grown woman, one who can speak up for herself
if she was uncomfortable, and even then she would address
her concerns with your brother, not you, since neither of
you were involved in the deal. They discussed, Maybe he's

(05:12):
misplacing his anger. Ask him about it, especially since even
his sister seems just as confused. Oh, he says, that's
what I said. They're adults. It's my brother, but not
my deal. My only involvement was getting them to talk
about my brother's offer. I'm not sure where the anger
is from or why he even was upset about it.
I'm enter two says, is your husband on good terms

(05:33):
with your brother? Ope says yeah, as far as I know.
My brother is the one who even helped us move
to our new house. They have zero problems with each other.
This is weird as f to me. Why is he
so concerned about his sister. She needed a job. You
got her a job. If she worked for a regular employer,
would he call her boss and complain for her? What's
he expect his pregnant wife to do. I don't know, man,

(05:56):
this is weird and do I need to get involved? No,
you need to cut the cord. Weirdo yeah ohp he says, yeah.
I mean he threw it at me, like trying to
make it seem like I don't care about my sister
in law or like something was my fault that I
needed to correct. But he was the only one upset.
My sister in law says, she never complained, So I
just don't get why I'm the bad guy in this argument.

(06:17):
Quote unquote comment to four, why does sister in law
live with you? I don't think you're the a hole here,
but it is very peculiar the stance he's taking very weird.
Oh he says, she was in a harmful space before
and had nowhere to go, so we of course took
her in. She and I are super close, so it
was really no issue with me. I just don't know
why he randomly started this mess when it didn't even

(06:38):
involve him. There's an update from two days after the
original post. Do we have any theories?

Speaker 4 (06:43):
I don't know, Like that's what I'm trying to think.
I'm like, maybe someone else's attack, Like what about the
brother in law? His brother is saying something about it,
and he's just passing down the stress. I don't know.
I feel like this is someone he's redirecting the stress.

Speaker 1 (06:56):
This definitely does feel like a chain of command type
issue here, where it's like, no, don't ask me about it.
It's going down the line until it's fine in its home.
I guess in with his pregnant wife, yeah wow, just
adding the kicker that it's like the pregnancy. I don't
know if this guy's too brave or too supid or
both to talk to your pregnant wife like that. So,
since I spoke with sister in law and husband separately

(07:19):
and got nowhere, I finally got the chance to sit
them down together. I was calm and respectful the entire
time and flat out said, okay, so in regards to
the babysitting gig, what's going on? What issues are there
and where are they coming from? Husband made a scoffing
sound ough and looked annoyed, but did speak up. I
turned to my sister in law and asked her bluntly,

(07:40):
do you have any complaints, concerns, or problems with the
arrangement you and my brother made for the babysitting. She
said absolutely not. I asked her, are you sure did
you say anything to husband that says otherwise? It's completely
fine if you did, but you have to speak up
for yourself and talk about it, even to me, if
not my brother. She said, I honestly have no issues

(08:02):
and I didn't complain to anybody, I swear. Then we
looked at husband. She told him that she was fine
with the arrangements and had no complaints. Then she asked
him why he made a scene for no reason. He
got defensive and said, nobody said you were complaining. It
just doesn't make sense to me. There's no point in
you doing it, and it's not convenient. Are you even

(08:22):
getting paid good? I sat there trying to understand why
he was getting so defensive, and sister in law shot
back at him, telling him it was in his business
and it didn't have to make sense to him, echoing
the exact thing I'd said in the first place, that
it had nothing to do with him, and that she
didn't appreciate him doing this without a good reason. He said,

(08:42):
he does have a reason, and when we asked what
the reason was, he said, because it doesn't make sense
to me. I calmly asked him which part didn't make
sense to him, and why was he so bothered by
it when it does not affect his or our daily
life in any that it didn't have to make sense
to him because it isn't his arrangement, and he got angry.

(09:04):
He stood up from his seat, rambling something about how
we were ganging up on him and that we weren't
going to make him the bad guy, and that nobody listened.

Speaker 3 (09:14):
Nobody.

Speaker 4 (09:15):
Everyone's like, so, let's talk about your feelings.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
No one listened to me, No one ever wants to
talk about my feelings.

Speaker 4 (09:21):
Let's talk about that right now.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
No, no, no, uh I can't, he said, Do I
need to be involved? Gets directly involved? Well wait, no,
let's know what he meant. Me and sister in law
Jess looked at him while he rambled, and she was
just as lost as me. I still very calmly asked him,
what do you want out of this? And why did
he keep trying to involve himself when sister in law

(09:44):
clearly said just now that she is happy with the agreement.
He said, nobody effing uses their brain around here but me,
I guess and walked out. Mister, nobody effing uses their
brain around here but me, I guess, And then he
walked out. I don't know about y'all, but I'm nobody
kiss her, And I definitely wasn't about to chase after
him or baby him. He was being completely ridiculous, in

(10:06):
my opinion, so we let him go and that was it.
About an hour later, he came back and started saying
things under his breath, like my own wife just let
me walk out, and she doesn't even care about me.
Even they hate me, they hate column Colem, they don't
even care about columb column.

Speaker 4 (10:28):
That's what happened.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
That was And then that's when I realized I was
married to a seven hundred and eighty year old, cave
dwelling troll. That's when I realized, not even a troll,
just like a you've really liked my ring? Yeah, that's
what I realized. He was really obsessed with this ring
that I found. So she's she doesn't even care about me,
and I guess it's just f me. I guess I

(10:50):
just don't matter. While sighing and dragging it out, I
ignored all of that because grow up, dude. And he
came into the room and said, so, you have nothing
to say to me? So I said, nope. We tried
to address things and you decided to storm off. So
that's that. I think you're being dramatic and that's a
you problem. He then called me inconsiderate and selfish and

(11:11):
he left. Well I don't know what I'm supposed to
do there or what he's expecting. But there's the update, guys,
and there's an edit. Blah blah blah. Okay, now there's
just another post. Okay, here's some relevant more comments. So
comment one says he thinks your brother is taking advantage
of his sister's kindness. He may not trust or like
your brother. He may worry they'll develop a romantic relationship.

(11:32):
Either way, he needs to grow the f up and
use his grown up words. I have zero tolerance for
grown men that throw temper tantrums, so op says, I
can't gauge it at all, and at this point, I
don't even care because it's just flat out ridiculous. We
are all adults. My brother pays sister in law handsomely,
even paying for her rides to and from home, which

(11:53):
is portal to portal, and that is hard to find.
Aside from texting about the baby or the arrangement, they
don't really talk, and sister in law is an open sappok.
I tried to ask him nicely instead of being rude
and invalidating whatever his problem was, but he couldn't even
handle that. Now I'm so over it that I don't
even care what his problem is anymore. Come at number

(12:14):
two question, Op, does your husband contribute with housework and childcare,
et cetera? Could it be that he is pissed off
that his sister who lives with you is now no
longer available to help him with his contribution to the household,
cleaning and childcare.

Speaker 4 (12:26):
Oh, I'm finally understanding the family layout here, because I
think I had it wrong the whole time. It's Opie's
husband's sister and Opie's brother.

Speaker 1 (12:36):
Had an agreement, had an agreement.

Speaker 4 (12:38):
Where sister baby sits for the brother. I finally understand
the plot of the story. But are they babysitting at
the brother's house continuing on and the sister lives with
Ope and her husband.

Speaker 5 (12:48):
It's it's all coming again.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
That's the only thing I can think of as to
why he would be pissed off that he guilted his
sister into helping out with the house and kids as
part of her renting board, and now now that she
has a paying job, his freemaid is gone. Hope, he says,
not really, I do the cooking, cleaning, and childcare on
my own. Comment with three he says, He says, nobody
uses their brain except him, Yet he's the only one
who can't verbalize whatever's going on in his head. Your

(13:14):
husband needs a therapist so he can learn some different
ways to progress. Towards his goals instead of tantrums and
woe is Me guilt trips. And there's another update here,
update number two. Hello once again. I know a lot
of you wanted to know what happened. With all the
support from you, guys, I feel I do owe you
that things have happened, and I needed time to be
alone and gather myself. In process, my husband kept on

(13:35):
with the attitude, the side comments under his breath, and
just being generally weird. I gave no reaction and ignored
this because I got better things to give my energy
to go off queen, like my pregnancy and my two children. Anyway,
I was cleaning and my husband decided to confront me
and ask me, why am I acting this way?

Speaker 4 (13:54):
That's so funny?

Speaker 1 (13:55):
I would laugh, a hahaha, ha are you off? My husband?
Who are you? I asked him what he meant, and
he said that I'm being some kind of way towards him,
and I simply told him I absolute effingolutely will not
coddle him for an attitude that doesn't make sense for
him to have. He got upset, rambling about how as

(14:17):
his wife, it should matter to me that he's upset
and I said, I have done nothing to him, and
I gave him chances to explain what's wrong and he didn't,
So no, it's not my responsibility to fix whatever is
wrong with him. He said this was all my fault,
and I asked him, what is my fault? I've done
nothing but take care of our kids and our home
as well as him. I told him that he made

(14:39):
no sense, that nobody did anything to him, not me,
not my brother, not sister in law, no one, that
I wasn't going to deal with his attitude at all,
and that he could find somewhere else to stay if
he wasn't gonna cut it out. He sat down and said,
that's what I'm talking about, saying that my lack of
giving a crap and my no nonsense attitude is upsetting

(15:01):
to him. This guy's projecting brothers projecting something. Brother brother,
here's the goalpost. Whoa, you just moved it way somewhere else.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 4 (15:15):
No nonsense? You are full of nonsense. Julia leons. This
guy is trying to get his wife to fight.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
I gues he est to.

Speaker 4 (15:23):
Fight for no reason.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
You don't even.

Speaker 1 (15:25):
Care he's doing pick me.

Speaker 3 (15:27):
Yeah, he's like whatever, so whatever.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
I guess you don't care that your husband has the
personality profile of the fifteen year old girl who just
got like.

Speaker 5 (15:34):
Don't play here we go.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
I asked him why I would be wanting to put
up with bs, especially while pregnant, and why would that
bother him? He started all this drama over something that
had nothing to do with him, and then it came.
He took a deep breath and broke down with confession.
After confession, he admitted that he had an affair. He
admitted that he had installed camera in our home without

(16:02):
telling me, in hopes I'd do something so he could
use it as defense.

Speaker 4 (16:06):
All of the people in the chat who were saying
affair were freaking riot. Wow, this man was projecting.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
That's so wild.

Speaker 4 (16:14):
I uh, this man was projecting louder than a theater
kid in a musical, and they do project a project man.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
And that he'd figured out the woman he cheated with
knew my brother, which is why he freaked about sister
in law working for him. A delicate little web of
lies was woven, wasn't it. He admitted he started drama
to create an argument on purpose, to give him a
reason to feel justified, and my calm reactions for everything

(16:46):
made it impossible for him. It bothered him that I
never did anything wrong because he had done something wrong
and couldn't shift any blame. I could barely react. I
kind of just looked up at him. My stomach was hurting.
I just couldn't wrap around any of it. He told
me he was sorry, that he's a piece of crap
and he doesn't know why he did it, but he
loves me, tearing himself down, and I just told him

(17:08):
to stop talking. I calmly said to remove whatever camera
he installed and to find somewhere else to stay. Pride
and begged, and I shut it down. He asked if
I was going to tell sister in law, you're worried
about me telling people or what other people are gonna
think of you, instead of worrying about the effing damage
you've just done to our family. He left, but wouldn't

(17:28):
stop calling me, trying to talk. Suddenly he wants to
have a conversation. Huh, how funny. I put my phone
on silent and went to play with my kids, trying
to be normal, to shield them from it. I didn't
want them to see me upset. This is pretty rough.
You've got kids involved, Clearly you're leaving him. I would
support that absolutely.

Speaker 4 (17:46):
I mean, at least you're hopefully his sister's still around. Yeah, libs,
she can help babysit your kids, lean.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
On the family that was there for you.

Speaker 4 (17:54):
Yes, your your husband is a terrible person, and it
feels like his sister probably would take your high.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah, which is probably why he was concerned about it.
I would let that cat out of the bag, you know,
let the family know, Hey, I'm divorcing him. However, he's
still the father of these kids and you are still
their family, so I don't want to just ice you
all out of the children's lives, and probably approaching it
that way I think would be best because then it
doesn't sound like hey, I need you to take care

(18:22):
of my kids exactly. It's more just like love to
open door policy to like be part of a loving
family here. Yeah, your choice. Also, babysit my kids on Thursdays?

Speaker 3 (18:32):
Thank you?

Speaker 4 (18:33):
Can you pick them up after school?

Speaker 1 (18:34):
Please finish Let's finish it off. I put my kids
to bed and cried it out. We've been together since
we were like fifty. I've never cheated on him. Ever,
we're approaching thirty, Like, what type of crap is that.
I've never had a trust issue with him before. I'm
not a phone snooper. I just don't do things like that.

(18:54):
And I didn't have a reason for why he's never
behaved like this before. Maybe he's cheated before and I
just don't know about it. I don't even care to know.
One time is enough for me. Yeah, I want a divorce.
I will be fair about it. I will not turn
our children against him. I won't drag it out, but
I am done. Thanks for listening, guys, and then it's

(19:14):
gonna be brighter on the other side of that, op
for sure. Yeah you've got some comments here. Yeah, he
wanted a reason to make you the villain so he
could say, well, she acted like this or spoke to
me like this, That's why I cheated. I tell everyone
and tell your brother about the woman he knows who
was banging your husband. I'd block his number and use
sister in law as a go to when he can

(19:35):
come and collect the kids for visitation. I know it's hard,
but don't take him back. This man tried to manipulate
you into being the villain so it would justify him
effing another woman. A commentary two says you should absolutely
tell your sister in law she's been filmed without her
permission for god knows how long while living with you guys. Yeah,
she absolutely deserves to know this. Get your ducks in

(19:56):
a rows, start separating finances, get your important paperwork together,
Consult a lawyer. That's what you do. But there's a
lot to prepare, and you need to get started now
before the baby comes. Also, make sure someone is around
to help after the baby comes, because you cannot allow
yourself to depend on the man that cheated on you
and tried to make you the bad guy. Absolutely, that
is the end of that story. Yeah, it's true. It's

(20:17):
gonna take a lot of work to come out of this.

Speaker 4 (20:21):
In a good way.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
But yeah, it's an interesting angle I haven't thought of
where it's like, you know, not only it's like, yeah,
you lose the help of like that, he can't be
there just completely. Yeah, but hey, you you're gonna make
it through. Not your fault, Ope, definitely.

Speaker 4 (20:35):
I mean you handle everything perfectly. Honestly. My husband's boss
claim they had enough there, but I refuse to believe it.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
Believe it. I might probably do that as well. My guy,
I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (20:47):
My husband and I went through a bit of a
rough patch financially speaking a while ago. Luckily he's got
a good job now and we're happy. But but right
there by the way. This comes from no Sime Sican
mom and if you want to submit your own stories,
going to our slash oaky story Tende separate. So he
got a job thanks to an old female coworker, may

(21:07):
I add, and he was very grateful. She's his direct
boss now, and that's why I'm in a bit of
a pickle. He has been in this new job for
a few months and everything seemed good. The job is
mostly remote, but he has to occasionally travel to another
city to meet with clients or his boss. Let's call
her Rebecca. I love that name. It makes for a
good villain or protagonist, you decide. Rebecca calls him regularly.

(21:31):
Nothing weird there. She's his boss. Sometimes he'll put her
on speaker if he's doing something like making coffee, cooking
or cleaning. So I've heard their interactions and they're pretty normal.
She doesn't call him after hours. And my husband is
the sort of guy who goes to sleep around eightish.
I'm the one who stays up later than he does,
which is why this has me very confused. Yesterday, my
husband had to travel yet again for work. He arrived

(21:53):
at the city early, called me after his meeting. I
went about my day and we talked again in the
evening when he was back at home. Mind you, he
stays with his sister and husband, so he's pretty much
accounted for at all times. I don't think Rebecca knew
that he was staying with relatives. By the way, today,
my husband called me as soon as he got up.
We talked for a bit and he told me he
was going to pick up some things from the office
and head home. A while ago, he sent me his

(22:15):
location when he hit the road, and that's where he's
at right now, around three hours of travel. Rebecca contacted
me almost as soon as my husband hit the road,
which I'm beginning to think was her plan all along.
She sent a long text telling me that my husband
has been making advances at her and that she was
very sorry to inform me that he had been unfaithful
to me with her, that she felt awful knowing that

(22:35):
we were parents, and that it was her guilt which
urged her to reach out to me and tell me
the truth. I was, as one would expect, speechless and
confused by her message. I firstly thanked her for her message,
you know, trying to be supportive of who I thought
was a brave woman speaking of and I asked her
when everything had happened and if she had any proof,
And this is where things got kind of messy. She

(22:56):
sent me screenshots of a conversation that dated a few
weeks bare Trier and the picture on the screenshots was
the same that my husband has, but the way he
wrote was strange. My husband is very careful about his punctuation,
almost to a fault, and those texts were plagued with mistakes.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
I just love that, OPI's like, I know, that's not
my husband's sentence periods.

Speaker 4 (23:19):
He also supposedly sent a lot of emojis of hearts,
the eggplant, the peach at a fire, and I mean,
not that it's anyone's business, but he doesn't do that.
He hates writing with emojis or sending stickers o.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
He politely being like I despise people who write with emojis.

Speaker 4 (23:36):
He has told me that words are enough to communicate
and that emojis are lazy or a way to soften
up the blow. His words, not mine.

Speaker 1 (23:45):
Calm down, somebody's an English major.

Speaker 4 (23:47):
I actually love emojis. I think emojis are garry.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
I'm just putting you on blasts.

Speaker 4 (23:52):
And emojis are a great way to get the emotion.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
I agree, I agree.

Speaker 4 (23:57):
My dad figured out how to use emojis.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
Okay, but all right.

Speaker 4 (24:00):
I mean he could be using emojis with a lover,
but how would I know? But that struck me odd Finally,
she told me that he had gone to his hotel
the previous night at his insistence. I know for a
fact that can't be true, because he called me from
his sister's home yesterday and even put me on speakers
so I could say hi to sister in law and
brother in law. But Rebecca even put the name of
the hotel in her text. She was being very specific,

(24:23):
as if trying to prove that she had receipts. I
asked her what time they were at his hotel, and
she blew up at me, telling me that it was
victim shaming her, questioning her when she was just being honest,
and that she didn't have to tell me at all,
but that she was doing it out of sorority, and
that she has sent me proof about his infidelity and
so on. Since she's his boss. I didn't push it further.
I simply thanked her and didn't ask anything else.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
Here's the thing.

Speaker 4 (24:45):
I don't think he cheated on me. I think Rebecca's
making this whole thing up.

Speaker 3 (24:49):
Why.

Speaker 4 (24:49):
My best guess is that she's got a crush on
him or something. But I'm wondering if I'm being naive.
I want to speak to my husband, obviously, but how
do I approach this. My biggest fear, to be honest,
is for him to lose his job over this. Oh wait, yeah,
she's his boss, he's his direct boss.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
H she's not victims.

Speaker 4 (25:08):
Again, I'm having a hard time believing you would cheat
on me.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Am I being too native.

Speaker 4 (25:12):
No, I think you're being smart.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
Yeah, whatever she says I agree with. Don't think she's
being smart. Yeah, No, she's smart. She's really smart. Keep
that elbow away from me. First of all, OP is
a very self assured OPI is very secure. An insecure
person would probably get that and immediately be like, oh
my god, I know what you did, blah blah, blah blah.
But she was like, she was like, let me read this.

(25:35):
Put on my a Conan Doyle Batman combo hat. Yeah,
she's the two greatest detectives.

Speaker 3 (25:41):
Never uses emojis, Yes, couldn't him?

Speaker 1 (25:47):
She used a period? A period was used here when
I know my husband would use a semi colon.

Speaker 4 (25:54):
First of all, thank you for all your advice. Being
the anxious creature I am, I spent the best half
of afternoon searching laws in Mexico regarding relationships between bosses
and subordinates. Turns out, consensual relationships are not illegal in
Mexico unless the company states so, but contacting any family
member of the employee for any personal matter is considered

(26:14):
intimidation in the workplace, and of course, in the case
where nothing happened, it's also spicy related intimidation and should
be reported. Now that being said, how things should happen
and how they actually happen are often two very different
situations in Mexico. Sorry, but that's the truth about my
beloved country. As a note, someone asked why he sent
his location for safety reasons. We always send each other

(26:35):
our location when we go out of the house for
more than half an hour. His family does the same
in mine too. I don't know if it's a paranoid
thing to do, but we feel somehow safer. So without
further ado, I followed some of your advice. I took
screenshots of everything. I don't know if she'll delete some.
I spoke to sister in law and asked her if
he had, for whatever reason, left her home at some
point during the night. He didn't. He cooked pasta for them,

(26:57):
took a shower, and put on pajamas, and went to
sleep early. Sounds like him to be honest. When he arrived,
we had lunched. He played with the kids, acted normal,
nothing weird, but he noticed me being strange and asked
if something had happened at work. I put on a
movie for the kids and then brought him upstairs and
told them that I needed to see his text messages
first and then I would explain to him why, that
I trusted him completely, but I had to make sure

(27:18):
about something, and that I would take screenshots. He handed
me his phone without a second thought. First I went
to see his last use emojis.

Speaker 1 (27:26):
Oh freaking Sherlock.

Speaker 4 (27:29):
Yes, as some of you suggested, and finnely, oh okay, well,
but still he's fine. And finally enough, it was the
ones he had sent me a while ago. I can't
go into detail as to how I know, but they
were random enough for me to know. Secondly, his conversation
with Rebecca was there without any deleted messages, going back
to even before he got the job. Neither of them
had sent anything remotely flirtatious or inappropriate. As soon as

(27:51):
I checked that, I gave it back to him and
told him I didn't need to check anything else. Be honest.
The second he handed to me, I knew he wasn't
hiding anything. I then explained what it had happened. You'd
be surprised, angry, and confused, and then sat down and sighed.
He told me he would resign the next day if
that was what it would take for me to believe him,
but I told him no. I admitted to having come
to the internet for help yet again, and showed him

(28:12):
my post. He thanked me for believing in him, laughing
at the words we both did. I had to google
it and we talked for amurs. Oh, P, I think
you did this all like perfectly. You know, you got
the things that were like, okay, this seems pretty suspicious.
Did your research talk to your husband and then you're
going about everything the perfect way.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
I do agree. It sounds like you have an extremely
healthy relationship with absolutely I agree, and with that builth
is the foundation. You can't really be shaken by nonsense
like this shake at least not from nonsense where you
know clearly they didn't have the intelligence levels to match
your Sherlock Holmes Batman. Yes, but good job.

Speaker 5 (28:54):
Good job.

Speaker 4 (28:54):
I don't want to get into doo many details because
there's probably going to be an update once we put
into motion our plan, but the main takeaway right now
is that he did not cheat and that she's doing
this out of projection on his end. So yeah, hopefully
people will learn to take rejection in a more healthy manner.

Speaker 5 (29:09):
But in the.

Speaker 4 (29:10):
Meantime, they do make great stories, don't they. Husband and
I are good, scared about the future once more, but
hopeful again. Thank you for your support and good advice.
And that is the end of that story.

Speaker 5 (29:21):
Dude.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Incredible, So exact communication saves the day again, and I
like how everything was moved in the right way. I
agree because it's like you had enough to be like
this is suspicious, but also it's suspicious on both ends.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
So, and then the fact that your husband was just like, yeah,
heke it.

Speaker 3 (29:40):
Here you go.

Speaker 1 (29:41):
Love saves the day once again. So true is all?

Speaker 4 (29:43):
And Kitty, thank you for being a member for two months.
Celtic Queen, Celtic Vie Queen, thank you for being thank
you for doning five bucks. It's my okay. Story time thirteenth,
thirteenth month anniversary. I think we did read that, but
thank you again.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
Month Aversary number thirteen.

Speaker 5 (29:57):
Well, okay, what was the one thing you want to get?

Speaker 1 (29:59):
That? Which one? Now you forgot the joke? Yeah, no,
it's over now, the moment's pasted good. I can't it's
the optimum. It's like eating fast food after it's been
sitting out for don't do it. It doesn't taste as good.
But that is the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
John Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story.
But a quick three minute of break of ads from
our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (30:20):
My in law's caused a lot of drama, and I
make sure that others knew about it.

Speaker 5 (30:25):
We're gonna air out all their dirty laundry.

Speaker 3 (30:27):
Oh yeah, am I the a hole for getting unintended
revenge on my in laws by ruining their relationship with
extended family. Let's find out, shall we. I'm a female
thirty six and my husband is thirty five male. Included
in this is husband's parents, mother in law and father
in law, and husband's and and uncle is father's sister.

(30:51):
This is a long story spanning ten years, but I
don't have anyone who isn't emotionally involved in this situation,
so I'd like some outside we got for you. And
while this is ridiculously long, it also feels like a
five thousand cut situation, so I wanted to include the
smaller details so that you have the whole picture. Oh boy,
strap in everyone in lock. And by the way, this

(31:13):
comes from deleted And if you want to submit your
own stories, just go to the ur slash Okay storytime
separated it.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
So.

Speaker 3 (31:19):
My husband and I have been married for ten years.
We met in my hometown while he was there on
an extended work assignment and dated for a year before
getting married. I met his parents twice before our wedding,
as they lived several states away. The first time was
on a quick overnight trip to their home after we
got engaged and the second time they crashed our vacation
The vacation story, Oh oh. The day before we arrived

(31:41):
at our vacation spot, his mom called my husband to
say that they were going to the same place to
vacation with us. He had told them a week prior
where we were going while on a routine phone call
with them. I got horribly ill right before we left,
with the double ear infection and chest infection, but since
the vacation was already paid for and we had the
time off work, we went anyway.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
Dang.

Speaker 3 (32:01):
Not the ideal situation for a vacation. I pushed through, though,
but it was a rough time for me. His parents
expected us to spend the entire time with them and
were upset if we tried to do anything by ourselves
what They also made snide comments about me needing to
take breaks and abs due to my illness and not
participating in drinking bar hopping after dinner. Honestly, I was

(32:23):
so sick I don't remember a lot. My husband was
okay with it, as it was supposed to be just
him and me anyway, and he wanted to make sure
that I was taken care of. The third time I
met his family was during our wedding day. Originally, I
had wanted a courthouse wedding with only our parents, and
then a large backyard barbecue slash poplock dude tell Sophia
she would love that. She loves an idea of a
barbecue wedding thing. At the time of the wedding, I

(32:46):
knew that we were moving to my husband's hometown soon
due to his work, and since I didn't have a
job lined up, I was trying to plan the wedding,
so we spent as little as possible. My husband was
fine with this. His mother called me after my husband
told his parents about the way plans and asked me
to do a real wedding. She explained that since she
eloped and never had a real wedding, she wanted that

(33:08):
for her only child.

Speaker 5 (33:09):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (33:10):
I later found out that mother in law and father
in law had a large wedding after their elopement.

Speaker 6 (33:15):
So if that wasn't really their eyes, Yeah, and what is.

Speaker 5 (33:20):
A real wedding? Is it going to be larger?

Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (33:23):
Extra very large exactly.

Speaker 3 (33:26):
I rolled with it, and thanks to the amazing friends
and family, I was able to organize a decent wedding
in six weeks with about sixty guests. I didn't really
like being on this spot in a crowd, but the
important part was celebrating our love and dedication and sharing
that with the important people in our lives. So it's fine.
I'm thankful for the day now for all it represents,

(33:46):
but a part of me still wishes I had stuck
to my.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
Pupews I I firearms.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
I sucked my firearm. That sounds like a difference.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
I stuck to the tools I used to defend de
fencible lamb.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
I think my anxious self would have had a lot
of better time. His mother initially offered to help, but
never followed through or changed her mind every time I
turned around. They offered to pay for the bar tap
during the reception, but changed their minds. My husband handled
them and got it sorted because I had enough on
my plate, but I didn't appreciate the constant extra work
it was to deal with them flip flopping when I

(34:23):
had enough going on. And no, it wasn't money. I
asked for a budget and it was well under what
they told me. It was their max. I offered to
pay for mother in law and my own mother to
get hair and makeup done the day of the wedding.
I did this for all the bridesmaids as well, since
being a bridesmaid can be so expensive and I was
trying to help them out. Initially, mother in law declined,

(34:43):
then last minute told me that she wanted the services,
which caused me to have to pay more out of
pocket than I was planning and most annoying, rearranged the
schedule two days before the wedding. Additionally, mother in law
and father in law were supposed to bring my husband's
grandmother to the wedding, but changed their mind last minute
as it would be inconvenient for them due to their
medical issues. Grandma wasn't able to fly and they were

(35:05):
the only family on his side driving. They came in
an RV and took over a week to drive fifteen
hours and used it as extra vacation time for them
before and after the wedding.

Speaker 5 (35:16):
Okay, that's fun to work. Yeah yeah.

Speaker 3 (35:19):
Since Grandma wasn't able to come, my husband's and and
uncle had to stay at home and help take care
of her, and we weren't able to attend either. They
were the primary caretakers of grandma and my husband's parents
had never watched her to share the load, even though
they lived closed. This caused an ongoing rift between the
aunt and uncle and mother and father in law. My

(35:41):
husband's family is so small, so the only people related
to him that ended up coming were his parents. I
felt sad for him compared to my large family, but
we had plenty of friends there to support him, so
I let it go. The day of the wedding went fine,
usual ups and downs and last minute problems. I was
so busy that it wasn't until later when my mom
told me about mother in law trying to take our gifts. Dude,

(36:03):
I'm trying to clock mother in law.

Speaker 6 (36:05):
Yeah, she's back and forth, doesn't know, doesn't sound like
she doesn't really know what she wants. Yeah, and now
it's trying to take thing if.

Speaker 3 (36:13):
Yeah, she's a wild one, unpredictable.

Speaker 5 (36:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (36:17):
And I also see animosity coming from the aunts and
uncles staying back with Grandma, and they might come into
play later.

Speaker 3 (36:23):
The gifts start. Due to being established in our homes
and moving shortly after the wedding, we did a wishing
well for our wedding gifts. We advised Augusts that we
didn't want gifts, just for them to come celebrate, especially
as many people were out of town. And if they
wanted to give something to gift us cash and put
it in our wishing well fund so that we could
use it for our future. That's a cute little thing.
Call it a little wishing well. My mom found this

(36:47):
poem to go with the explanation and it was adorable,
so I let her handle that. The day of the wedding,
my mother found mother in law trying to open the
cards addressed to mister and missus my married last name.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (37:00):
When my mom saw this, she told mother in law
to stop and told her that the cards were for
my husband and me. Mother in law said that the
cards had her name on it. Oh, there's like, I'm
missus blah blah blah.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Well, my name is written on it. It's my name's
written on it.

Speaker 3 (37:14):
Yes, that's right. She told my mom that she thought
the gifts were for her since they had her name
on it. Never mind she was at her son's wedding.
My mom didn't want to stress me out, so she
didn't say anything until much later, but she sent mother
in law straight and was not dentle. Wedding was great.
We passed on a honeymoon to save up for the move,

(37:35):
and a little bit later we were moving to my
husband's hometown. His parents had generously offered to let us
stay with them until we both had jobs and were
able to find housing in their area, and I was
super thankful to have some support since I had never
lived so far away from my family before. Our stuff
was packed and in storage until we were able to
find a place. We arrived after a long move and drive.

(37:57):
It was the second time I had ever been to
his parents' home. Upon arrival, we have found one large
difference than before. Every room except the bathroom and our
bedroom had cameras, some even two cameras to catch different angles.
Even the front and backyard had cameras. Mother in law

(38:17):
and father in law wanted to keep an eye on
the house while we stayed with them. I know, looking back,
we never should have stayed, but you can't change the past. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 5 (38:28):
Also, there's one person I have not heard a word from.
That's husband. Has he said anything.

Speaker 3 (38:38):
Mother in law and father in law were the only
ones with access to the cameras and would frequently question
or comment on our activities during the day.

Speaker 4 (38:44):
Over dinner.

Speaker 3 (38:45):
They also would inspect the bathroom and bedroom we used
and comment if we left anything out of place, didn't
have the bedmade, or didn't have things the way they liked.
Since I didn't have a job, I tried to be
as helpful as possible and took over all the housework
and cooking, even doing yard work, laundry, and pet care
as needed. I began to feel like a prisoner, and
in between job searching, I went for walks to try

(39:07):
and stay out of the house, or just hid in
the bedroom if I wasn't doing chores. This caused mother
in law and father in law to comment on me
being unsocial because I wasn't in the communal areas of
the home. How do they know that from these from.

Speaker 6 (39:21):
These things, they're fine, Like, maybe that's just some people, dude.
On the weekends, I'm nowhere to be seen in the
communal area.

Speaker 5 (39:30):
I am just in my room.

Speaker 6 (39:32):
Playing video games all weekend and maybe outside.

Speaker 3 (39:35):
Also, the walls in this house were thin, so I
didn't even feel like I could speak with my husband
in our bedroom without being overheard. More than once we
would hear someone in the hallway if we were talking
to each other. And I figured that they were eavesdropping.
We spent a lot of time whispering and texting, even
when sitting next to each other with the bedroom door closed.
After a few weeks, I found a job and started work.

(39:58):
I continued to do cooking and cleaning. However, as we
still weren't paying rent or utilities, A husband and I
told his parents we would find our own place. His
parents convinced us that they were happy to have us
and offered to let us stay for free so that
we could save to buy a home. I figured, with
everything we had saved and been gifted, it would only
be a few months of savings before we were ready

(40:20):
for this. We discussed it privately, my husband acknowledging the
cameras and his parents' behavior, but ultimately we decided to
stay to get the best leg up for our future.
My husband had student loans, so after speaking with his parents,
we paid them off out of our savings. Yes, it
was a good chunk of money and began saving for
a house. Note father in law had taken out a

(40:40):
personal loan as well and gave it to my husband
to help with college. Oh wow, this will be important later. No.

Speaker 5 (40:47):
No.

Speaker 3 (40:49):
After a few weeks, mother in law and father in
law decided to go on a week in vacation and
left us in charge of the house. I was so
happy to be alone, but the first night they called
and asked about their pets, but again made me any
comments on what we had been doing throughout the day,
making it clear that they were watching us on the cameras.
At this point, anxiety over being constantly watched got to me,

(41:09):
and I asked my husband to turn off the Wi
Fi or even go to the extreme of breaking the
cameras because I needed a break.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
That's destruction of property.

Speaker 3 (41:17):
He covered the cameras with socks and told his parents
it was so that they couldn't watch us. There you go,
just be upfront. That works too, to go to make
government socks.

Speaker 6 (41:26):
Put strings on the socks so whenever you're leaving and
pull them down easily and then walk away and then
you put them back on and everything.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
Yeah, you do some home alone stuff. That's what we
do with those.

Speaker 3 (41:36):
Yeah. Or you could just be honest like he was.

Speaker 1 (41:38):
That works too, right, Yeah, I mean on a real level,
I think literally just like smack the cameras with like
a stick or baseball.

Speaker 3 (41:45):
Yeah, you can make it fun, get a little nerf gun,
make it like a thing where they were to try to, like,
you know, shoot it off of the the railings.

Speaker 5 (41:53):
Yeah, I like that, or.

Speaker 3 (41:54):
You get the you get the section cup ones and
even better, try to hit it right on the camera.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
Yeah yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
Of course they called upset that they couldn't watch us.
We had peace for a day and I felt better,
but was really regretting not moving out. We discussed it
again but decided to stay. No costs were allowing us
to save up quite a bit, especially after paying off
the loan. The following night, we had my husband's old
high school friend and his wife to dinner. Since I

(42:21):
didn't have friends in the new area, my husband was
trying to help me find a social circle. His parents
called halfway through the evening. They had seen the couple
arrive on the outdoor cameras and began cussing me and
my husband out. I could tell that they were both
very intoxicated. My husband was used to this behavior from
his childhood and wasn't saying anything, just letting them go
until they stopped, but I could tell that he was

(42:44):
upset and the friends could hear everything. I took charge,
told his parents that we'd talk when they were sober
and calm and disconnected. We didn't answer them for the
rest of the night. They came back early the next
morning and were livid, and we sat down and tried
to discuss. The discussion started badly and ended worse. Oh great.
His father wouldn't stop screaming and cursing at us. His

(43:06):
mother fabricated a situation in which she had told my
husband not to have a party, and kept saying that
we betrayed their trust by having two people over. They
tried to chied us like children. My husband and I
had both lived on our own since eighteen, paid our
own bills, and made our own way. At this point,
we're twenty six, twenty seven. My husband and I tried

(43:28):
to calm them down and explain that we were both
adults who could have people over for dinner, but his
mother stomped off to another room and continued crying and wailing, dude,
you got it, yeah, leap, yeah.

Speaker 5 (43:42):
That's out of there. Insane. How why is it adult?

Speaker 1 (43:46):
Mad?

Speaker 5 (43:47):
You had friends over for dinner?

Speaker 3 (43:49):
Literally literally like two people. Two people. That's not a party,
don't you know? The saying two, two is company. Three's
a crowd.

Speaker 1 (43:57):
You need at least a zero on the end of
that too for to party status.

Speaker 3 (44:01):
Yeah. So father in law left and slammed things around
on his way pees. My husband and I went to
the movies, went for lunch and a walk. We came
home late to sleep, and they didn't acknowledge us. The
next Monday, mother in law cornered my husband and gave
him a list of demands that I had to do
to earn her acceptance, one of which was to cry

(44:21):
on demand, because, in her words, I was so calm
that she thought I was a robot. So she demanded
that I be able to show her that I could
have emotions.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
Oh yeah, that's one of the most toxic things I
might have ever heard.

Speaker 3 (44:35):
I also had to apologize for being ungrateful. Mind you,
I am still doing all of the cooking and cleaning
and the laundry too. When my husband told me the demands,
I lost my temper with him. It is the only
time I've ever yelled at him at anger, and I
made it clear that his mother was manipulating him and
putting conditions on her love and acceptance. So the husband

(44:56):
is backing up the mom right now that she was
he was doing this to get us to do what
she wanted. I told my husband that if his mother
ever wanted anything for me, she could talk to me herself,
and if he ever got between us again, I would
leave him. So yes, I lost my temper, but also
this helped open my husband's eyes all the way and
see what his mother and father were doing manipulating.

Speaker 5 (45:18):
See what I'm saying there.

Speaker 3 (45:19):
You manipulated back from my fire with fire, and he
gets it lore from opie. I have to say, as
a child of emotional I don't think he recognized that
this behavior was wrong the same way I did. He
has a lot of trauma he hides under laughter. But
I wasn't willing to let our relationship be controlled by
his mom. We had a long talk in our car
and resolved to find a place to live and move

(45:40):
out as soon as possible. We got back and I
asked mother in law if she wanted to speak with me.
She looked to my husband and I shewed him away,
explaining that she needed to speak with me directly, not
through him. She turned away and refused to speak with me.
She hasn't spoken to me since.

Speaker 5 (45:58):
I know people like this and it's just annoying to
be around.

Speaker 3 (46:02):
Two days later, we were homeless. My husband had a
big blow with his parents, who cornered him while I
was at work. I came back to find the car
loaded with all of our clothes and anything that wasn't
in storage. Helped my husband with the last of it
and we left. At this point, I didn't even question it.
I was one hundred percent happy not being there. One

(46:22):
of my husband's friends offered us a spare room, although
it was awkward as I had never met the friend
until moving into their house. It took us a few
weeks until we were able to find a place to stay,
but I felt so much better not being constantly watched
and spied on.

Speaker 5 (46:37):
Dude, I bet, Yeah, I freaking bet.

Speaker 3 (46:39):
My husband wanted to cut ties with his parents and
opened up to me more about some situations in his
childhood that were one hundred percent He isn't one to dwell,
and I'm the only person he has ever opened up
to about this in such detail and without laughing to
make light of the situation. Wow, that's good, big improvement
from someone who you know does that a lot. I

(47:00):
encouraged my husband to have low contact with his parents
as he wanted to go no contact. He would occasionally
go to lunch or dinner with them. They never wanted
me there, and mother in law would make comments to
my husband about how he should make sure to avoid
having children with me because when you get divorced, etc.

Speaker 6 (47:17):
Okay, not only are you talking about my wife, we're
talking about.

Speaker 5 (47:20):
My immediate family.

Speaker 6 (47:22):
Yeah, and as a family member, we don't talk about
our family like them.

Speaker 3 (47:27):
Not at all.

Speaker 5 (47:28):
That is so toxic.

Speaker 4 (47:30):
Oh.

Speaker 6 (47:30):
Get these mother in laws be getting under my skin
the way Dakota doesn't like when people mysterreat animals. That's
how I feel about mother in laws. I just can't
like bad in law's dude.

Speaker 3 (47:42):
This upset my husband, but when he would say something
to mother in law, she would gaslight him, saying that
he misunderstood her. Father in law showed up one day
at husband's work and was yelling and screaming about husband
needing to pay him for the personal loan. We agreed
to pay it just to keep the peace, but it
was almost five hundred dollars a month and it definitely
put a dent in the house savings. Husband felt responsible

(48:05):
since father in law took the loan out for him
to use. This altercation also looked super bad to husband's
coworkers and supervisors, and he got a lot of problems
at work for several weeks because of this. Several months later,
my husband got an important job honor being generic for
privacy sorry and invited his parents, who declined to come.

(48:25):
My family flew down to go to the ceremony. Even
my sister came and brought her three small children on
a twelve hour drive. Wow. My family loves my husband.
My parents consider him a bonus son, so it was
great that we had all their support. I managed to
get in touch with my family's aunt and uncle and
invited them. They had been told some horrible things by
father in law and mother in law about us, but

(48:47):
agreed to come. Husband's ceremony was a great day and
I loved supporting him and seeing how they owned him. Later,
his aunt pulled me aside and asked him questions about
everything going on with father in law and mother in law.
She told me that she had gone to father in
law's work and tried to get him to come to
the ceremony, but he refused. She is used to being
in arguments with her brother and his wife mother in law,

(49:09):
so wasn't surprised at the drama. She told me that
they'd get over it eventually, but she and uncle were
both mad at mother in law and father in law
for their behavior and for refusing to come to the ceremony.
Husband's aunt and I talked regularly, and we began visiting
with them for lunches and dinners and have slowly gotten
closer over time. They have been a wonderful support system,

(49:30):
and I often think of them as my true in laws.
Mother and father in law spread a lot of rumors
through the extended family about my husband and me, saying
that we had treated them so badly. It took years
of just being ourselves, and eventually A husband's extended family
saw through this, but it was rough for a while.
The worst was husband's grandmother's funeral. Father and mother in

(49:51):
law were supposed to invite us. Aunt had planned the
whole thing and had a lot to take care of,
but thankfully only two days ahead called me to confirm
if we were attending. I didn't know anything about it,
as a mother and father in law hadn't told us. Wow,
so so two days like Okay, we gotta go to
this I gotta go to this funeral. Man, man, we

(50:13):
made it and due to us coming, mother in law
refused to attend.

Speaker 5 (50:17):
Oh wow.

Speaker 3 (50:18):
Father in law was stilted and awkward and left early. Yes,
this is his own mother that has passed away. Oh
my gosh, that's awful. About a year later, father in
law ended up retiring and asked husband if they should move,
and if they did, where to go so that they
could be close to it. My husband's answer was that
it didn't matter, as we can come visit or have

(50:38):
them over regardless of where they settle, and told them
to pick somewhere that would make them happy. Mother and
father in law took this to mean that he didn't
care about them and lost their minds. It was more
of a you know, go live your best life in
Florida and we'll come visit you if you want.

Speaker 5 (50:54):
Exactly that's what that said, and.

Speaker 1 (50:55):
That's what I heard, truly, that was that was a nod.
It was like literally, oh, wherever you want, I'll go
to you. Yeah yeah, and they're like yeah.

Speaker 3 (51:05):
Lots of nasty things were said to husband. Mother and
father in law moved and after a year lost their
home in a natural disaster.

Speaker 5 (51:12):
Oh no, oh no.

Speaker 3 (51:13):
To help out, husband started to go fundme that raised
them almost ten k and we donated money and a
lot of home goods and things for them, and they
later told him that he didn't do enough for them
during this time.

Speaker 5 (51:25):
Okay, we'll take that back.

Speaker 6 (51:26):
With that money back, we'll give it to someone else
in that community that would actually appreciate it.

Speaker 3 (51:31):
The thing exactly, exactly, dude, that's great.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
I think I'm gonna send you a little invoice there
for ten k. Yeah. Yeah, but this story is snowballing
at the end here. It's like, yeah, it's just there's
people passing away, there's natural disasters. It's like, whoa.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
My husband still talked to his parents on and off
for about four years after all of this, until finally
deciding to cut them off. The Mother's Day story, husband
called mother in law to wish her a happy day.
She didn't answer, so he texted her. She called back
later and told him to be a voicemail that she
never liked this day because it reminded her of her

(52:06):
biggest regret.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
Wait a minute, wait a minute, rosted mosted, dang man,
dang wait so did I just read that the knocked
on the mom just told her son like it reminds
me that I had you.

Speaker 3 (52:26):
Yep, yeah, yes, those are direct quotes. He decided to
go no contact, and unlike before, I fully supported him
this time. I wrote them a letter which he approved,
and told them that they could contact me if they
wanted to get in touch, and we'd like to have
a better relationship in the future. Husband blocked them on everything.

(52:47):
I was tired of them hurting him. I could see
it every time they interacted and every time my heart
broke for him. Part of the no contact was the
personal alone his father had taken out. My husband felt
like since he used the money for school, he should
pay it, even though it was in father in law's name.
Part of why I love my husband is that he
is responsible, so I agreed. We ended up writing them

(53:08):
a check for six K the balance of the loan
at that point, and sent it with the no contact letter.
Paying the loan wasn't a problem for me, but its
existence was. The balance never stayed the same. They refused
to show us statements, and at one point father in
law refinance the loan, but a lot of things didn't
make sense. Can you refinance alone? Is that a thing?

Speaker 6 (53:28):
They figured it out? I mean, yeah, people refound finance
their houses, that's alone.

Speaker 1 (53:33):
Yeah, it's like basically you just refinance for like refinancing
is actually I'm not even gonna talk about that because
I would. I don't know that well. But it's like basically,
when you already have a loan and you're like I
need more loan, you can just make it one loan.

Speaker 3 (53:46):
Just update, okay, cool.

Speaker 5 (53:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:48):
The payment went from two hundred a month to five
hundred a month, and father in law gave conflicting statements
about the total ode, so it inflated several thousand suddenly.
My husband doesn't think father in law would lie, but
I'm not so sure. Yeah, I think he would lie
for sure.

Speaker 6 (54:02):
Oh yeah, he got six k out of you, of
course he's gonna try and do something to get more
out of you.

Speaker 1 (54:06):
Yeah, no, anygo, technically he had sixteen because he had
he got the ten from the golf on me of
the house.

Speaker 5 (54:11):
Oh wow.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
Yeah, and he still was likeli.

Speaker 3 (54:15):
I think they manipulated my husband to pay off some
of their own debts. Regardless, with the check and the letter,
we were done. No more in laws. It was a
lot nicer, not gonna lie. We still had some updates
from Aunt, which was okay with us. At one point
Aunt told us that father in law had admitted to
cutting husband out of their will. Ooh, whatever, we don't
need anything, but it did make me laugh. Ant is

(54:37):
the executor and advised that if it comes to her,
she is going to give us the entire estate anyway,
regardless of mother and father in law's wishes.

Speaker 5 (54:45):
Oh right, nice.

Speaker 3 (54:47):
Husband's uncle passed away recently and his loss was hard
for my husband.

Speaker 5 (54:50):
Dang, he was like a good family.

Speaker 3 (54:52):
Yeah, he had basically adopted my husband helped him with
home projects. Yes, we finally got a house. Father in
law and mother in law refused to come to his funeral,
and Aunt was pissed.

Speaker 4 (55:02):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (55:03):
Not only was she grieving, but she had to deal
with their problems and got very upset with them. Now,
almost ten years after our wedding, we were out to
dinner with Aunt. I mentioned something about my husband's father,
the old one, doing him in the face when he
was fifteen. Oh, it fit the conversation we were having,
and I didn't really think about it before saying anything.

(55:23):
Aunt was stunned, husband told her more details about the situation,
answered questions, and soon a few of the worst moments
of husband's childhood were being shared over appetizers, physical, emotional,
and neglect. Honestly, it wasn't even close to everything that
had happened to him, but it was enough. Oh wow,
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 6 (55:41):
So it just became more real. How terrible these parents already?
Yeah exactly, and you got you did?

Speaker 5 (55:50):
You gave back so much to him too.

Speaker 3 (55:53):
Yeah, yeah, respect all that you did. So it's good
that now they have no contact.

Speaker 5 (55:57):
That's all right.

Speaker 3 (55:58):
Aunt has told me of a husband's family about everything,
and also gotten into it with mother and father in
law over the abuse. It seems like family relationships with
mother and father in law are damaged to beyond repair
at this point. I feel guilty, but I also think
that they did it on their own through long years
of drama and petty behavior. We aren't the only ones
they have problems with. Mother and father in law consistently

(56:20):
have issues with family and friends, so if not this,
it would have been something. But I do feel that
me saying something without thinking about it first ended up
with them being more isolated as a consequence, and while
I don't wish to have contact with them, I also
don't want them to be out of touch with their
family as they get older and start to have age
related medical issues. So am I the a whole?

Speaker 6 (56:40):
I don't think you're the Oh, it feels like it
came up naturally, like you may have started it, and
it may have, like folks, some emotions.

Speaker 5 (56:47):
But I mean, yeah, someone's got to know how bad
these people are.

Speaker 3 (56:51):
By the way, Ah, this story is done.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
Hey, it's sam og host. We're gonnet back to these
delectable stories.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors to
help support the show.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
My in laws tried to involve CPS because of our
rescue dogs.

Speaker 3 (57:08):
CPS, not the fur baby is being considered real children.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
My mother in law texted one of my family members
today saying she and my father in law thought about
calling CPS on me and my spouse but decided not to. Basically,
according to them, we are willfully endangering our baby by
having multiple dogs in the household and fostering dogs through
a reputable and responsible rescue All right, so so far,

(57:33):
my gut's telling me the kids are fine.

Speaker 5 (57:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:36):
By the way, This comes from user significant Try ten
forty four and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay storytime subprend it. So Ever,
since we were pregnant with said child, they've been making
remarks that we need to rehome most of our dogs.
We have six of our own and two fosters whoa
simply due to the number that we have. My spouse

(57:57):
and I know it's more dogs than most have, but
we live in a rural area, have a massive outdoor
area the dogs spend hours in and don't keep or
foster dogs that show any inkling of aggression towards humans.
It's not even uncommon to have this many dogs where
we live, and some people around us have many more
than we do. Our yard is sandy, so the dogs

(58:19):
do track in sand onto our hard surface floors that
we vacuum daily because there is often some sand from
letting the dogs in, and our counters are cluttered. They
consider our house dirty by comparison, their house is always
clean enough you could eat off of their floor. The
worst part of all this is they admit CPS wouldn't
do anything. Our child is healthy, happy, and clean. Their

(58:42):
doctor says they are in perfect health, and the dogs
have never so much as accidentally scratched, stepped on, or
even looked at them wrong. We don't let the dogs
in their bedroom or play area, and actively train our
dogs so they are good family members, either as our
own dog or fosters. The dogs are also well taken
care of, up to date on all shots, and friendly.

(59:05):
They can be energetic due to their various breeds, but
we make sure any rough and tumble play is outside
in the designated yard. They've got the designated rough house yard.
My spouse and I also work in jobs that involve
children and have been in serious situations where CPS has
been rightfully called. It stings so much that someone would

(59:29):
think to use CPS workers to bully us into rehoming
our actual dogs and stop fostering, just because they admit
they don't understand how or why we live the way
we do. I think I'm more heartbroken than anything, because
I can't fathom why someone would hypothetically put us through this.

Speaker 3 (59:47):
It's like, why, what huh?

Speaker 1 (59:50):
Even our non dog loving family members have acknowledged that
our dogs are all very friendly and our home is
a safe environment for our child as much as I
love each and every one of my very little toddlers,
the dogs. I know they are animals and would never
keep one if I had any suspicion they could hurt
my child or their friends. I know CPS wouldn't actually

(01:00:12):
remove our child, but I can't stop wondering if every
knock or phone call is from a worker starting an investigation.
Would I be an a hole if I ceased contact
with my mother in law and father in law. I
don't know if I even have anything to say to them.
I don't know if I can even look at them.
I can't even sleep because I'm worried they'll end up calling,
even though they said they wouldn't. Why would they even

(01:00:35):
mention this? How can they say they love us and
not acknowledge how much investigation into a false allegation could
affect our child, our jobs, everything, our whole life. Sorry
if this is all over the place, if anyone even
reads this, oh, we're reading it. I know they never
really liked us, since my spouse and I are very
different from them. I just never thought they'd try to

(01:00:56):
do this to us, let alone trying to use my
family against this too. That's the thing. And they didn't,
but they said they would. I am going no contact
with the in laws for the foreseeable future, as is
our child.

Speaker 3 (01:01:06):
By fair, there we go, fair fair.

Speaker 1 (01:01:11):
My spouse is leaning towards no contact, but at the
very least severely limiting contact. They have spent all day
today after our phone call last night. Oh so they
did confront and did directly communicate about this. I guess
they have spent all day today insisting that they weren't
actually threatening to call CPS. They refused to understand why

(01:01:35):
we were both so upset and kept trying to turn
the blame back around on us, saying we weren't listening
to them and the CPS comments weren't a big deal.
This unfortunately fits a larger pattern of them trying to
control our lives and being angry or disappointed or annoyed
that we just have very different lives. The fact my
spouse and I are very equal and independent people is

(01:01:56):
a constant issue they keep dancing around. Nothing about us
is traditional, and despite what they claim, they don't love
that about us. Most disagreements or attempts to control us
come from these differences and why we should actually act
more like them. Also to address some questions in the comments.
We do live in a rural area controlled by the county,

(01:02:17):
not the city. There are no restrictions on animals as
long as they are healthy and not exotic. We have
a lot of dogs for a city, but out here
people aren't even surprised when we say we have six.
Many of them have at least three, and then a
variety of other animals on their perspective properties. We just
didn't want other animals as we've been involved in dog
rescue for several years. Yeah, our household operates more like

(01:02:42):
a small farm than a typical suburban household. My spouse
and my own work schedules allow our household to operate
the way it does. Won't go into specifics, but I
will say the way it's arranged allows one or the
other of us to care for our child at home
versus putting them in daycare. This also makes daily cleaning
a lot more feasible, along with my spouse and I
being very equal partners. And we have a second update?

(01:03:05):
Oh right, have we reopened the door here?

Speaker 5 (01:03:09):
Is that?

Speaker 1 (01:03:09):
What the second update is? I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:03:11):
It was a m let's find out update number two.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
I genuinely appreciated the outside perspectives, including those who rightfully
question our sanity and the legality of owning six dogs
and still fosteringl I will say many people do not
have reputable sources for determining the number of animals you're
allowed to own. Just as an FYI, my state, county,
and local city do not have a limit on dogs,

(01:03:37):
and I do not live in any of the states
mentioned by commenters in the first post. I assist with
an animal nonprofit in addition to the fostering, so I
am aware of any current and proposed changes to ownership
laws for my area. I also live well outside the
nearest city limits and couldn't imagine having this many animals
and not having some dedicated land for them. I freaking

(01:03:58):
love you op. None of them are great Danes, but
only one of them is a quote unquote small breed
of dog. My spouse, child, and myself are no contact
with mother in law and father in law for the
foreseeable future. They didn't call CPS, but refused to take
responsibility and fell into their typical pattern of gas lighting

(01:04:18):
to make my spouse and I look childish and spiteful.
This unfortunately follows the pattern of behavior that made my
spouse start therapy shortly before the birth of our child.
They frequently say mean, hurtful or borderline derogatory comments and
then turn around and deny ever saying them. If we
have proofs, such as texts, they'll insist they were joking

(01:04:40):
or they misunderstood the context, even though the context is
pretty affing clear. A notable example is mother in law
telling my spouse they needed to keep me under control
when my spouse and I were planning our wedding because
basically every aspect of the wedding was non traditional and
this was a huge offense to my mother in law.
This is despite the fact that my mother in law

(01:05:02):
is not even religious. Nothing about our wedding was scandalous
or offensive, and my partner and I decided on every
aspect of our wedding together. She to this day tells
us it was a joke or that she didn't actually
say it, just depending on her mood. Was it a
joke or was it literally yeah, gotta pick one. Did

(01:05:24):
you stay yet or did you not?

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
Those are mutually explicit.

Speaker 1 (01:05:27):
Despite her ranting to other family members about it and
everyone else remembering it as being completely sincere she would
pull that stuff. It's easier to see this now that
my spouse and I aren't dealing with the immediate after
effects of the CPS comment to my family. It took
us by surprise, and it hurt so much this time
because we genuinely thought my spouse's parents had changed. I

(01:05:50):
was really trying to overlook the past so my child
and future children have a good relationship with them. The
fact this time around they basically said that they don't
like us because we're too different from them and too
hard to understand was a really bitter pill to swallow.
Maybe it's the fact that my family is so close,
but I don't understand how someone can say that and

(01:06:12):
in the next breath say they love us entirely. We're
not even that out there or extremist in any sense.
We get along with my huge extended family and they
come in just about every shade, flavor and personality under
the sun. I can't let my child or future children
think love from their family is conditional on them being
carbon copies of anyone, including their grandparents. Apparently, minor differences

(01:06:35):
in how we spend our free time. They like binge
watching TV and staying in bed and breakfast. We like
board games and volunteering, for example, and our personal style
choices is too much for them to handle. Despite being
self proclaimed feminists and staunchly non religious, Apparently men still
aren't supposed to have long hair or wear nail polish,
and women should wear makeup, or at least that's how

(01:06:58):
their children and their spouses are supposed to be. I
guess the best news out of this is we are
now closer with the rest of my spouse's family. They
were horrified about what mother in law and father in
law said, and even more appalled by the gas lighting after.
We weren't expecting the support and were trying to prepare
ourselves from being cut off from everyone, But we are

(01:07:18):
so grateful that's not the case. I have grown to
love my spouse's family even more than I already did,
and I'm so thankful that my spouse does have love
and support from their side of the family. While my
parents adore my spouse as their own, I know it
means a lot to my spouse to have their own
family members too. Not to mention our few close but

(01:07:39):
dear friends that have been eager for us to have kids,
so they can be the best aunts and uncles they
possibly can. I don't wish any ill on my in laws,
and I'm almost sad to say our lives have been
calmer and happier without them in it. Can't control their choices,
and I can't stand to let them hurt my spouse
any longer or possibly start doing the same thing to

(01:08:00):
our child. They can make their own choices and live
with those consequences.

Speaker 3 (01:08:05):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:08:06):
There, Yes, I love this philosophy because it's like, truly,
it's like people are gonna make their own choices and
then people are gonna have to deal with their consequences.
It's like you cannot control their choices, you cannot control
their reactions. All that you can do is control your
like truth and the way you operate exactly what bam bam. Nice,

(01:08:27):
But that is the end of that story.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My husband keeps INTERFERING in issues that aren’t his… so I told him off! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2205