My husband STOLE over $300k from my family… I can’t trust him again! | Reddit Stories | EP2162 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John, this is Sam, your og Okay Storytime
podcast hosts, and we have some spectacular stories coming up.
But real quick, we got a two minute break from
our lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing. My husband sold
over three hundred thousand dollars from my family. I can't
trust him again.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Maybe you should try it again. Maybe try again.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
This is a long story, but I'll try to write
it as quickly as possible. First I should say I've
been married for seven years, together for eleven, and we
have three young kids. I'm a small business owner and
artist and he has a corporate job. By the way,
this comes from No. Dependent sixty ninety nine, and if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slash of Okay Storytime subrut it. So in the
summer of twenty twenty two, I was looking on our

(00:38):
online banking because I got an overdraft. Noticed then looking
at some of the charges, I noticed that there were
some weird, larger purges. I asked my husband what the
company was and it was Stocks.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
Yeah, jerk Mates Stocks, Babe, I promise Stocks Incorporated.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
I had no response.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Jesus crust greasyfeed dot com. Yeah, those are stuck. Actually,
those are mutual funds, so oh, no worry about that.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
Oh will this YouTube episode stay up? Just barely?

Speaker 1 (01:11):
So then I started adding it up and freaking out
as it totaled into twenty six thousand dollars. That's a
lot of feet ladies and gentlemen. So I lost my mind.
We had a huge blow up conversation about it. He
was sweating, like absolutely losing his mind because he never
added it up. I was so destroyed because he'd been

(01:31):
stealing from our family. Saving is so important to me,
and I've been the only one able to get us
any savings throughout our relationship. When we got together, I
totally financed our whole wedding, put the cash down for
our house, et cetera, et cetera. I didn't ask much
or want to prod because I didn't want him to
feel bad that he didn't come into our relationship with money.

(01:54):
So he was stealing from our family, taking money from
my biz to put into our checking because he'd been
overdrafting our account.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
Oh dude, here's my question. Please, if he's strategic doing
this to his own family? Yeah, what's his day job?
I know he works in corporate Yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Honestly, I was expecting the inverse of her to be like, hey,
you know, I'm an artist and you know, make a
fine living. But it's nothing crazy and he's corporate. But
it seems like it's the inverse. She's like banksy over here,
just like rolling in the bank. Yeah, and he's just
working at like I don't know, stocks Incorporated. Yeah, as
a low level as a male boy or something, his

(02:36):
corporate male boy job.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
I don't know, Like.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Where's he learning these tricks from?

Speaker 3 (02:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (02:42):
Also, if you're buying stocks, when did you buy them?
And when are you planning to sell them? Or you know,
I need a game plan there.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
What's the portfolio looking like right now? We actually haven't
seen that yet. Maybe they're multi millionaires, I hope.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
So you get crypto. I have a lot of questions here.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Put it all in Doge.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Well, it was a huge blow and I've had trust
issues with him before in our relationship, not presenting whole truths,
omitting details, et cetera.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
I didn't tell a soul, which was so hard, but
it was so private. The money was already gone.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
So it's not only like the portfolios down, it's like
there isn't any money.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Oh, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
And I told him to take everything out of stocks
and don't ever speak another word about stocks again.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
But babe, this one's about to go to the moon.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Cheese coin. Please invest in cheese coin right now.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
H com rockets literally going to the moon off of
baby juice.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Now.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Savings has always been so important to me, living well
under my means, financial planner from age twenty four, et cetera,
et cetera. And he's just so different from me in
this way. We end up getting pregnant in early twenty
twenty three, because remember this was in twenty twenty two
when all of this went down. So now we're like,
you know, let's call like six months or so later.
Now we're having a baby. Oh my god, our savings

(04:02):
are drained. And he actually got laid off in the
end of twenty twenty two.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
Bro, if you got laid off, maybe you shouldn't be
laying without the rubber hot take.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Mmm you this might be Riley's golden rule.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
Hot take.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
Laid off on the job, can't get laid without the
rubber yep, laid off on the job.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
What did you say? You said something different?

Speaker 2 (04:21):
I don't. No, No, there's something there. There's something there.
There's something there, Like if you just got laid off,
don't be off and without it on?

Speaker 3 (04:29):
Got it?

Speaker 1 (04:30):
I work my butt off while I'm pregnant to make more,
to take on more work and set aside a good
chunk of money so I can have a maternity leave.
American maternity leave is a whole other topic.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
And his mindset's like, well, baby, basically the power two
people in you. So yeah, just keep working harder. Uh,
can we get the baby indoor dash to count or
something like?

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Can we like get it on fiver?

Speaker 2 (04:51):
Hey, we could probably like get them set up on
stocks real quickly. I get a headstart on.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
That, teach the baby how to trade stocks.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
They just like it's like you know those videos where
they'll put like a treat on two things. Yeah, like
all right, we've got a cheerio on Apple or Google yeap,
where are we going?

Speaker 3 (05:07):
Baby?

Speaker 2 (05:07):
That would actually be a like kicks to like buy
or so like oh right, right, kick buy.

Speaker 3 (05:13):
Yeah, that would actually be a great account.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
You literally just have a baby picking stocks by eating
cheerios off of a square.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
New content here we go.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
So then we go a whole year remodeling our house,
which we took a helock alone for for eighty thousand dollars.
At the end of the remodel, I'm thirty seven weeks
pregnant and I notice sixteen thousand dollars getting pulled from
our bank account. I wonder where this might be coming from.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
And I have a theory that more got pulled because
who did the remodeling and who maybe was contracting people
out for certain things. Baby, we gotta buy a new sink,
a new sink comblobulator because our combobulator is not really
working right now.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
But like, how I go get investing in the stocks.
But what is he? Like? Yeah, where's his money going?
Where is it going?

Speaker 1 (06:04):
Uh? So I text him to see what it was for.
He tells me that the home loan bank doesn't have
the cash on hand, so he had to pull from
my inheritance money. I'd received one hundred and twenty five
thousand dollars from a relative passing we were setting aside
for a second residence for residual income in a separate
account that he still had access to. So then he

(06:26):
calls me back and tells me that he actually made
a huge mistake, and when I told him to get
everything out of stocks, he left three thousand dollars and
then it turned into a twenty five thousand dollars loss.
Sam the Caterpillar and Lady Morgan said, gambling and rugs
and other women. Yeah, something is going on here. Yeah

(06:48):
that is not stocks.

Speaker 3 (06:51):
But it's okay.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
Are we going to stay together? Are they staying together?
Let's say they stay together. It's okay, babe, Just for
the next twenty five months, you're gonna have to come
up with one thousand dollars and pay me back. Until
then you're indebted to me. Yeah, you're mine, cause.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
Like even going for childcare or not childcare, childcare payments,
even if it's a child support payment, child support payments,
as we've learned on the show, are super low. Keon,
can you look up really quickly what the child the
minimum minimum required child support in California is. I want
to say, I'm going to say either four hundred and
twelve dollars. I'm gonna go with four hundred and twelve dollars.

Speaker 4 (07:25):
You're really close, Actually four hundred and thirty per month. Yes,
we've looked one hundred and thirty per month. But this
again California. It could be different in other states.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
Yeah, so in California, I think that's like on the
high end. Yeah, I was gonna say California probably is
a higher end. But yeah, other states, I think, like
we looked up Alabama, it was like one hundred bucks
a month.

Speaker 3 (07:43):
I think like, yeah, yeah, let's let's check. Let's check
Alabama like it is. It's so low.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
So even like getting divorced and suing for child supporter,
I don't know what is it.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
It's fifty dollars. It's not even triple digits. Fifty that's
illegal that we have to make that illegal. What can
you buy with fifty bucks today?

Speaker 4 (08:00):
You know?

Speaker 3 (08:00):
A month? A month? That's right? Netflix? Great, the baby
can watch Coco Mellen. Okay, that's it. Just feed at
Coca Melone, get Coda, cocomelon.

Speaker 4 (08:10):
And twelve dollars. Pause, Kim finds his twelve dollars. That's insane.

Speaker 1 (08:15):
Okay, that is that's literal, bro said, Sorry, Netflix is
more important than my child.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
Twelve dollars a month, people got priorities is insanity. I
gotta catch up on Seinfield.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
This needs to be fixed. Okay.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
So anyways, yeah, I feel like the tough part here
is Opie's kind of screwed. Either way she goes in
terms of like trying to get the money back, I
mean she can try, but I'm honestly at this point
A lock him ount of all accounts first.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
Like immediately, and then B where's the money going?

Speaker 3 (08:43):
Where's the money going? And then C we might have
to let this man go.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yeah, this is it's because they already had the big like, Okay,
we sat down, we figured it out.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
He's already broken my trust before.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Now that he does the same thing again, and he's
continuing to steal from her. Yeah, yeah, I think so addiction,
I think here, but what we're going to see. So
then he tells me that the money in the home
loan the heelock was gone and he had been pulling
from money from there too. He also stole all the
money in our young daughter's bank account, six thousand dollars.
I was beyond hysterical. I basically collapsed, But then I

(09:16):
had to give birth, so I had to compartmentalize it.
I finally told someone and told my best friend and
my sister. He let me do a whole remodel in
twenty twenty three and going over budget. Oh, thanks for
letting me spend more money that we're like bleeding out. Thanks,
thanks for that, knowing that the money in the home
loan heelock account wasn't even there to pay for them

(09:36):
at the end.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
Actual psychotic behavior.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
I don't have access to the home loan, the heelock account.
What and we had to use the remaining of my
inheritance to pay for the remodel. So again, just to
make sure we're on the same page here, he has
access to her inheritance, she does not have access to
the home loan account of the home. By the way,
she put the down the whole down payment for what

(09:59):
is happening? I was like, how did you let me
do this remodel knowing the money was gone? Like, we
have to pay our vendors. When I asked him, what
the f was your plan when the money wasn't there
to pay them? Why did you let me do that?
He says, I wanted you to be happy?

Speaker 2 (10:14):
What did you to be happy? Bro? We gotta we
gotta like somehow read this man's mind and see where
what's actually happening. I have no grasp on this, dude.
What where's his money going? Why are you saying I
want you to be happy? Like, what what's happening?

Speaker 1 (10:27):
Something is like he is doing some severe stuff under
the surface that I feel like we're gonna get dropped
on us sometime later in the story, Like it cannot be.
He's just like he's just like stupid. Yeah, this is
not just stupidity. This is like he's doing he's even stupid.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
He would have been caught earlier. He's very strategic. Yeah,
how he's getting this money?

Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah, yes, exactly, he's pulling like he's he's apologizing because
he got caught. That's that's what it's given care. So November,
I have the baby and focus on being a full
time mom. He doesn't get paternity leave. We have two
other young kids as well. It's been so hard. I
have money for my business and about forty thousand dollars
left from what I came into the marriage with, but

(11:10):
our checking account was basically empty. In all of my inheritance,
the one hundred twenty five thousand dollars was gone. So
overwhelming because I couldn't work right away because I'm a
small business owner and don't make money on maternity leave.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
We should re record this title intro.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
Yeah, the new title. Yeah, I think it's at.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
Two hundred k. Now one hundred fifty, one hundred and
twenty five hundred and fifty hundred. I say, like two
hundre k's been stalled.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
Yeah, this is she's just watching her two hundred thousand. Oh,
it's you have to be you have to have some
sort of addiction or something to just spend that amount, Like, it's.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
Crazy, it's crazy.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
Then yesterday I finally get the time to look through
all of our bank statements and see how wildly he
was spending money. He spent thirty thousand of my inheritance
within a month of me getting it. I transferred it
to another account asap because I was like, holy crap,
this is getting spent quickly. He was getting takeout like
two to three times a day, every few days Starbucks.

(12:10):
He would spend one to two hundred dollars every few
days on Devil's Lettuce, getting Uber eats sometimes multiple times
a day, which he is saying his account is hacked
and he only did one time a day. Clap Yeah,
lie lies, lies, lies, live slife, life, live lives.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
It probably can't be eating that much today though, So
who's he sending it to?

Speaker 3 (12:27):
There's there.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
I'm sorry, Uber Eats and Starbucks doesn't account for two
hundred thousand dollars. Yeah, you would have to be like
just ivying coffee lattes into your veins twenty four to
seven to spend two hundred thousand dollars or something around that,
like one hundred two hundred grand. All in all, sixty
five thousand dollars of my money was gone within months.

(12:49):
Even after I transferred it into another account, he was
still taking money and putting it into our savings. I
realized how dumb I am that I wasn't tracking his
daily spending. I have never tracked his spending. I thought
he was annoy normal person. We're in the same house.
I know when he buys something or goes shopping. I
thought that was the extent of his shopping. We even
had an agreement to run it by the other person
if we were spending more than three hundred dollars. Bro said, bet,

(13:12):
I will make five thousand, two hundred and ninety nine
dollars transactions, and that's what we're going to do.

Speaker 3 (13:20):
Now.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
The numbers are that I know about twenty five thousand
dollars originally taken out of our checking money, out of
my business, six thousand dollars from our daughter. When I
found out he cleared her bank account, I wanted to
throw up. I just can't believe this. She obviously has
no idea. I told him he's going to put all
the money back. It's not even money we've set aside
for her. It's money that she's earned modeling. It's literally

(13:42):
her money.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
Stolen from your own kid.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
It's from your child, bro. Something is so wrong here.
In a follow up, I asked what this money was
used for. It was paid when his stocks that were
lost were margin called. I have no idea what any
of his means, and I think we're about to have
a clear idea of what's going on here. So he
took money from the home loan, the helock, and then
our daughter's account to pay over thirty thousand dollars and

(14:05):
twenty thousand was credited from what he had on his
online portfolio, fifty thousand dollars loan in total that he
took out to bet on stocks, I mean trade. I
just can't even I'm going to super quickly pause here
to explain what op's talking about so margin trading, So
buying stocks is like, oh, I buy a stock for
ten dollars, it goes to zero, I lose ten dollars.

(14:28):
Oh okay, that's I lost ten dollars, but I can
only lose up to ten dollars. Margin trading is where
you essentially make a different kind of bet than just
like oh, just buying the stock out right, and you
can lose or earn.

Speaker 3 (14:41):
Multiples of what you have.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
So, for instance, if I have ten dollars, it could
be like, oh, hey, I'm going to make a margin
call and I'm going to make a bet that's either
going to give me one hundred dollars or I'm going
to lose one hundred. So I have the ten, so
i'll oh ninety dollars. So what he's doing he's taking
ten thousand dollars. Oh let me this bet. Oh it
didn't work out. Now we're in twenty thousand dollars in debt.

(15:04):
And I think what he's doing here is when he loses,
he's siphoning money out to cover the losses and then
doing it go back again. Like Okay, I've pulled money
from our other accounts, I've been able to pay off
the margin trade. But now I have pressure to make
that money back to replace back.

Speaker 3 (15:21):
Into the account.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
Oh my god, I think that's what he's doing.

Speaker 3 (15:24):
I think that's what he's doing.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
This is where we're at right now.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
Eighty one thousand dollars. Eighty one thousand dollars, ladies and gentlemen,
this is insanity. A lot of our home loan he
locked to pay his debts, eighty thousand, cashed out his
equity from work, thirty thousand. He racked up forty seven
thousand dollars in credit card debt. First he told me
it was only twenty five K. Then I pressed him

(15:46):
the next day, being like, is twenty five K even
the amount? He confessed it was actually forty seven sixty
five thousand dollars of my inheritance on Devil's lettuce.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
He's gotta be like trying to start his own business
or something.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
The stocks but a list now, so Devil's let us
stocks an insane amount of take on fast food. The
remaining sixty K of inheritance we had to use to
pay all three model from the money he stole from
the heelock taxes and our third child's birth, there is
now four thousand dollars left, four thousand dollars, Yes, how
much it is?

Speaker 4 (16:21):
Guess one hundred and fifty yon one seventy five a
little too high?

Speaker 3 (16:25):
Low?

Speaker 2 (16:26):
What do we had? Three hundred and like sixty three
thousand dollars? If I did that math right, that's how
much this man has racked up.

Speaker 3 (16:35):
Ali said he should be in jail.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
That is exactly correct because it come from his credit
card dead. It's taking money doing this.

Speaker 3 (16:44):
It's all him.

Speaker 2 (16:45):
Yeah, it's like, yeah, from the loans he's taking out
of three hundred and sixty three hundred thousand dollars. Yeah,
three yeah.

Speaker 4 (16:53):
MJ.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
Gross says, take it. The four thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
Have divorced him, Let's invest in divorce and also like
do a margin trade on that.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
Let's trade on our divorce.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
I wonder if and chat maybe if we have any
legal people in the chat right now, you guys can
chime in. But I wonder if she can divorce him
and then also then sue him for that amount, being like, hey,
I didn't authorize any he's he took it from like
my inheritance. Like there's got to be at least some
accounts in there that were like more clearly hers and
like point inheritance one. Yeah, like that I would guess

(17:27):
is like, hey, legally, you know, Bob gives op the
money that is Opie's money legally, like legally speaking, the
joint accounts.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
Everything else might be hard to like but depending.

Speaker 1 (17:38):
On and maybe like yeah, yeah, it's married, it's fuzzy
their joint accounts. So I imagine there's probably a lot of
the money that she couldn't get, But is there some
is there like a hundred of the three hundred that
we can be like, hey, we're gonna garnish your paycheck
until you've paid her one hundred thousand dollars?

Speaker 2 (17:55):
Couldn'tess? What? Ah? What?

Speaker 3 (17:57):
Divorce?

Speaker 1 (17:58):
Divorce, divorce, divorce, no counseling, know nothing. You know what
we usually say on the show Divorce run Away. Sue
this man for three hundred thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
That's a Lucp's here, take an insurance life insurance policy
out on him and send him to the.

Speaker 3 (18:12):
Sun, lucyp. That is one way to do it, right there, Yeah,
here we go. Oh man.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
So a lot of this was going on in twenty
twenty three while he was unemployed for nine months.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
Nah, he had a job. It was us it spending
your money. Yeah, that was his job.

Speaker 3 (18:24):
Listen.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
Instead of earning a salary, he was spending a salary, right,
smitting three salaries. Spitting three salaries, dude. The main spending
was going on while he was employed in twenty twenty two,
and then he was covering up all that he lost
over twenty twenty three and dealing mentally, knowing all year
he had this huge sum that was going to be
collected on, not telling me until literally the last.

Speaker 3 (18:45):
Day possible, and who knows what else.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
This whole time, I've been saying he needs to lead
us on this, present me a plan, tell me all
the numbers. He hasn't done any of that. It's like
hoping it goes away. He hasn't once brought up how
he's going to pay the debt, because he's in touch
with a debt collector. I've had to ask him each time.
I feel like he will just let this dissolve into
the background unless I keep telling him about it. I'm

(19:09):
driving the boat. It's exhausting. That is the understatement of
the space time continuum.

Speaker 2 (19:16):
She's got three kids, probably just had a kid. While
this is all going on.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
She got a fully baked She's been carrying this baby
for fifteen months, a very normal, reasonable time to carry
a baby around, very normal.

Speaker 3 (19:27):
This is crazy.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
But then yesterday I had to sign a big letter
from FedEx, and I opened it because I could see
it said notice like final notice, and I saw that
it was the final notice to figure out a plan
the twenty five thousand dollars credit card debt or it
will go to a lawsuit on April First.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
I thought it was forty seven thousand. Is this another
twenty five?

Speaker 4 (19:47):
It's probably a different card?

Speaker 2 (19:49):
Sure? Make that all right? Now we're at three hundred
and eighty eight thousand dollars. It might have been twenty seven,
twenty five out of the forty seven. Maybe there's a
lot of numbers being thrown out here.

Speaker 4 (19:57):
Yeah. Yeah, the notice said ap fools.

Speaker 3 (20:00):
You know, dude, I imagine this was a prank, gotcha.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
I mean, honestly, at this point, a prank would be
way better than the actual scenario they're in, being down
three hundred k or so. I'm not a person to
investigate stuff which is totally proving to be a huge
mistake of mine. Yes, Op, you are well within your
right to investigate all of this. You are Oh my god, Yes,
it's okay, It's okay investigate. So all in all, he
is presenting that he is telling me it all now,

(20:26):
but who knows. I don't know, so I feel like
he's just avoiding it. I finally lost it again on
him yesterday, like, tell me this info. Don't you think
i'd want to know that this is going to be
a lawsuit April first. He finally called them now yesterday
and got it settled. We have started paying one thousand
a month to repay his debts, which we currently don't
have an extra one k a month as it is.

(20:48):
We also have the six hundred dollars heelock bill a month.
We had to pull our daughter out of for after
school care because we shouldn't be paying that five hundred
dollars a month for that. They have to take their
daughter out of after school care because they have to
pay off his debts.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
Mike, you're literally affecting your child's trajector rate here.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
Dude, Andy stole all her money. We can't forget that too.
One of the kids, one of the kids. Now, I'm
going to have her home all summer A baby and
be expected to work full time from home and somehow
be the breadwinner while caring for two kids at home.
All our financial stability is gone. We have emergency of
money that's under my business savings, but I'm not letting

(21:28):
us touch that. Please tell me he does not have
access to that we need. I don't know what we need.
I think we need to lock him in a cage
at this point and just like feed him slop from
a cant.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
Yeah, like that's the only way you can survive.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
God, it's literally all we have to our names now.
We should have been set after the one hundred and
twenty five thousand dollars gift the inheritance. We could have
used it to get a second residence, to have residual income,
and finally have savings for our family. Now it's all gone,
along with so much of our other money. I told
him he needs to get some remote job at night
from home to make extra money because we're not going

(22:01):
to be able to pay for his debt on top
of all of our normal bills. And I am not
going to dig into our emergency money to pay his debt.
So we're gonna get into the next section, which is
asking for advice. Let me see a long Yeah, so
before we get into that, let's give some of our
advice here and break this down.

Speaker 3 (22:19):
Divorce, divorce, divorce.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
I'm just baffled that three hundred and sixty three thousand
dollars is gone through margin trading stocks, you know, the
devil's lettuce, take out all this miscellaneous things. Three hundred
and sixty three one hundred thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
I mean, I could see the margin trading with the
stocks being it. But yeah, I'm also too like, is
there not something? Is there like an addiction? Is there
another woman?

Speaker 3 (22:47):
Like?

Speaker 2 (22:47):
Like it just as adding up? Yeah, he could do it.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
He could just be addicted to doing these like kind
of like what we were talking before, like a Ponzi
scheme almost where he's like he does a margin call,
loses tens of thousands of dollars, pulls in tens of
thousands of dollars, and does the same thing over and
over and over and over again until he's like almost
four hundred k in the hole. But my god, Yeah,
and chat right now is a sounding off that we need?

(23:14):
Oh could you scroll up a little bit? Legal separation
and all money goes into an account in her name only. Yeah, yeah, absolutely,
And like again I want to know, can we divorce
and then sue him so every paycheck he gets is
paying back? Ope, until all the money we can legally
like like force him to pay basically is paid back

(23:37):
to OPI twenty years.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
I don't even think this guy can come over that
money at all.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
I don't think That's why I'm like garnished the wages
because I think Opie's literal only hope to get any
money back from this is to have it taken out
of his paycheck and sent directly to her. Otherwise he's
gonna gamble it away basically.

Speaker 2 (23:55):
Yeah, what's advice say, because I'm I'm like, I'm trying
to give advice, but I don't even know what the
heck to do in this.

Speaker 1 (24:01):
Yeah, I mean, yeah, the big picture, like we said,
is divorce, but not just divorce, like how do we
get away get our money everything, like the kid, honestly
everything we like For Opie's mental health, I think just
like being completely away from this person, I think.

Speaker 3 (24:15):
Will at least alleviate some of the stress.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
I had something like this happened to a family member
where like one of their sons racked up eighty thousand
dollars in credit card debt and then just they had
to cut them off. They were just like, you can't
do it. And then they're like, I think they went
to legally, like in a civil suit or something like that.
I don't know what the outcome of it is. But
the dad completely does not talk to the son. Yeah,
and the son, I haven't really heard much of it.
And then some in that family happened recently where like

(24:40):
now the son and the and the other son have
to talk and the dad doesn't want anything to do
with it because their mom is badly passed. And it's like, oh,
it's getting.

Speaker 1 (24:48):
Like when you steal from family. Yep, that's what happens.
It's crazy, that's what happens.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
Oh boy, Okay, so let's get into this advice here.
So Opie says, I need some advice. Yeah, yes, this
is so outside my wheelhouse. I know, I need to
check his credit to see if he's gotten anything else.
And I'm guessing mine and my kids. I come from
a divorce family at age five and it was so
painful growing up. That's the last thing I want, but
I feel so numb. I'm so wildly betrayed. Op, it

(25:15):
is okay, I would get the divorce. I think you
were so much better off. But anyways, he's been lying
and hiding for years, took our daughter's money, money from
my business. He's obviously apologetic, but in my heart, I
just don't know if I can get feelings for him,
like romantic feelings back for him. I feel so unsafe,
unsure of what he's done or will do to us.
He's saying he's a new person, that's not him anymore.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
Yeah, there's another person in the mix here. I feel
like Op, he's so shocked at what's happened. Once she
looks at the uber eats like, okay, this is enough
for two people. Okay, Devil's let us for two people.
There's no way someone can consume that much.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
There's a new person, all right, or maybe new people
like a secret wife and a kid.

Speaker 3 (25:54):
I don't know. Oh, I don't know. I don't know
secret family.

Speaker 2 (25:57):
I don't know the margin Dratings is signing my other
kid up for lacrosse.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
Yeah, this is two affair children, Stock and Margins. But
even a few days ago, he still wasn't presenting the
full truth. He's not lying, he's avoiding telling me the
full truth, which is so frustrating, and that is lying.

Speaker 3 (26:13):
And a few months ago he only.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
Told me the updated truths because I happened to see
money get taken out that day. Who even knows what
truths he would have told me if I never found
out all this on my own. He never even told
me or added up himself how much he lost of
our money, how much he took from us, et cetera.
We have three small kids. One is a three month
old baby, and I'm the primary caregiver. I am hustling

(26:35):
and left. I am maternity leave before I wanted. This
is my last baby, and basically, as soon as I
walk out of the medical phase, I'm back to work again.
I have to provide a divorce for a woman and
a small business owner without a corporate employer is complicated.
I'm on his insurance. I don't have a set salary,
et cetera. And obviously we make more as a couple
to pay for our house. I can't afford the house

(26:57):
mortgage on my own well with all the other living
costs of it. If I was single, I don't want
to move find housing et cetera. And with three small kids,
and we live in a very expensive city. We have
no family in town, and being a single mom would
be an enormous struggle for me with no family here.
I don't want to start over it. But I just
don't know if I'm ever going to feel that connection
to him again. I just feel numb. I know that

(27:18):
may take time. I don't know what to do. I'm
not going to decide anything quickly. Yeah, I mean sadly.

Speaker 2 (27:24):
It feels like the reset button is being pressed or
without you.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Yeah, like it's gonna it's it's happening, like whether you're
here for it or not, or like whether whether you
want to press that.

Speaker 3 (27:37):
Button or not. Like wild wild man, I.

Speaker 1 (27:41):
Feel like just being partners, living together and raising our
kids is what's the best option at this point and
just forego the romantic part of the relationship. But that
is so sad to me, and I deserve more than
that divorce with three kids, right, Yes, you do deserve that.
He is a great dad. Incorrect he stole from a child.
But I feel so numb a roma's in partner wise
to him. I'm truly scared. I won't have feelings for

(28:03):
him again. This betrayal is so beyond the worst case
scenario for me. I wish so bad he would have
just cheated on me. At least I wouldn't be thinking
about how much groceries and gasaw Dude, when you wish,
when you wish your partner was just cheating on.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
You, which is where it is getting cheated on, or
three hundred and eighty eight thousand dollars being stolen from you.

Speaker 4 (28:23):
Uh, you can replace a partner, You can't replace the
three hundred and eighty eight immediately.

Speaker 2 (28:28):
Yeah this well, money comes and goes.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
Yeah, you lose three hundred and eighty thousand dollars, you
get no more dollars.

Speaker 3 (28:37):
Fluctuation of life.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
Not only do I have to worry he may do
something like this again, we just view money and spending
so differently. I'm afraid I'm going to have to lead
him on our finances forever, which I never wanted to
do that for my husband. I love being independent and
make my own money, but I wanted a husband to
lead me.

Speaker 3 (28:56):
Is he really changed? Can we heal? Is it broken forever? Well?

Speaker 1 (28:59):
I ever get feelings back? Will he do something like
this again? I don't want to hurt my kids. Divorce
is so painful, and I grew up with it let
alone imagining having fifty percent custody of them or something
like that would unlive me. I'm so lost, so betrayed,
and feel so alone in my own marriage. All of
this stuff is so not my wheelhouse, and I'm not
an investigator. My two friends that I know and one

(29:20):
sister are helping me, but any actual financial advice is helpful.
I don't even know where to begin, aside from checking
his credit. I have my own money too, with a
financial advisor as my fourrowin K for retirement that he
doesn't have access to. Thank God, He's ruined our financial stability,
and I'm so beyond betrayed. Divorce is such a huge undertaking.
Like we have a life, house, assets, share, group of friends.

(29:42):
I'll be a single mom to three kids, lawyers and
all that would probably use all the money I have.
I'm guessing that's not where I'm at right now, but
I never considered it so much until this week. It's
truly not even the money, even though that is maddening
to me. It's about it's being able to trust him.
I just wonder, can you get that back. Will I
always feel this way? I'm so disconnected from him as

(30:03):
a partner now because of all of this, And am
I dumb for staying? And can I ever get trust
back in a meaningful way in our marriage? This is
not the first thing to chip away at my trust
in a relationship, but definitely the biggest. This is like
a plot to a movie, except it's my life. I
can't believe I'm in this mess because of who I'm
tied to and just how royally completely dumb he was
making bad decision after bad decision, involving so much money,

(30:25):
and money that wasn't even his. I worked so hard
to have financial freedom, not to mention a one hundred
and twenty five thousand dollars that could have really set
us up for stability.

Speaker 3 (30:33):
Now gone, and marrying him ended up being the.

Speaker 1 (30:36):
Worst financial decision I've ever made. There's so many more details,
but this is the main story. So we've got more
and we have Yeah, I'll get to this update real quick.

Speaker 5 (30:46):
Hey it's Sam. We're going to get back to the stories.
But here's three minutes bads from our sponsor. I feel
like a lot of my emotion isn't in the post.
It's all the details.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
When I found this all out, I felt like I
passed away inside.

Speaker 3 (30:57):
I was about to have a baby.

Speaker 1 (30:58):
It was honestly so overh I cried so much, so
much that it impacts my life and my kids' lives.
Was done without any regard for our well being. He
is saying this is all of it. I just don't
know if it is or will there be more in
the future. What I've done so far. Change the banking passwords. Yes,
we need that. He has no access to that need

(31:18):
to run all our credit My business money has always
been in a different account.

Speaker 3 (31:23):
He now doesn't have access to it.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
But because he doesn't have online access to our bank account,
is lock him out in physical too?

Speaker 3 (31:30):
Like we like every single way here.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
We need to do this. Pray to God there isn't
more ready to be unearthed. And we have an update
from the comment section.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
Actually, but dude, I feel so bad for this woman
because she's trying to restore a relationship that is completely gone.
I mean you can see that too. She wants someone
that can leader. He feels so mad at him for
being dumb, not like I'm totally done and like gone
with this man and the one sentence that just puts
it into the cement permanent. I'm not the person I

(32:01):
used to be. From those words, you can now see
his actions and realize you're not his priority. His kid's
on his priority. Yeah, and he's only worried about himself
and whatever the heck he wants to spend his money on.
You're not one of those things he's trying to protect.
And from what I see, Opie, you want someone that
is a leader and a protector. He's changed, that's not him.

(32:22):
You're gonna have to figure out a way to go
on without him, Like it's a new ball game now.

Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah, I completely agree. Like he is one hundred and
ten million percent untrustworthy. You can't trust literally anything. So
assume we have to assume everything he says is a lie,
to be conservative.

Speaker 3 (32:39):
To be prepared for the worst.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
And I do think too obviously feel so much for
op and chat Chat is kind of saying this right
now and has been throughout this story. But she had
a divorce. You know, her parents were divorced. Rather growing up,
there comes a point where you kind of have to
sit down and say, Okay, I obviously went through a
divorce as a kid, but this scenario and like, yes,

(33:02):
ideally you don't go through a divorce having children, but
you don't go through divorce because you have a healthy,
functioning relationship, Like it's you not divorcing is just the
byproduct of just having the good relationship. So you kind
of like Opie, Like again, I'm not trying to bash
on her, but there comes a point where it's like
you have to kind of get over the fear of

(33:25):
the divorce and say this just needs to happen.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
And Renick, could you go up for a second, I'm
gonna call someone out. RENI No, the leader comment just
gave me such of an eck. Please don't ever say
that again. Riley. She said that that's what she said
in her relationship, and I'm just referring to because I've
seen this in my life before a lot. That's what
she wanted and expected of the relationship. But she can
no longer rely on that because he's not a reliable

(33:50):
person whatsoever.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
Sophia said in the chat, some woman do like to
be led. It's a matter of preferences.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
Yeah, Like if someone is basically like, hey, can you
like be in charge of finances? That's what I'm looking
for and then the other person's like, oh, yeah, that's
actually what I like to do.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
Match, And it sucks. They've been together for eleven years
and now three kids within the last two three years.

Speaker 3 (34:08):
This comes up.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
What do you do?

Speaker 3 (34:10):
What can you do?

Speaker 2 (34:11):
You've just been girl Boston doing your own small business, yeah,
paying for your wedding, in paying for your own wedding,
paying for your house. And he's over here. He probably
got bored doing a corporate job. Seeing I probais it.
But I've seen people in the corporate world where they
just kind of do a little bit of this and
they just kind of out and they get bored. And dude,
I'm telling you, when I get bored, I'm like the

(34:32):
worst person ever. I need something to like encourage me
to like keep going and doing something crazy.

Speaker 1 (34:37):
You need the Golden Retriever's ball to be constantly like
running after exactly.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
Yeah. Yeah. So, and he's probably bored and he's like
I'm just gonna he's literally, uh, he's addicted, and he's
just spending his money away and he's just wasting his time.
Just that's his life.

Speaker 3 (34:52):
Dude's insane.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
How little care he has for his wife and his
children like literally none.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
Yeah, and I think she's hit with Nile right now.
She still thinks there's a way to get this back together.

Speaker 3 (35:02):
M h.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
And I know for a fact after this update she's
gonna start going more and more into y also did this.
He also said this to my mom like the red
fox gonna be popping up left and right here.

Speaker 3 (35:15):
Well, Riley, we do have said update sitting here on
my lap.

Speaker 2 (35:19):
Oh boy, can I use the bathroom?

Speaker 3 (35:21):
Please go?

Speaker 2 (35:22):
I'll be right back.

Speaker 1 (35:23):
We need to take a little break, ladies and gentlemen,
because this is this is too much. So Helena Bain
says in all calfs she needs to understand that she
is and has been leading.

Speaker 3 (35:33):
This whole relationship. This is true.

Speaker 1 (35:35):
Dretto for says he sounds like he got into game
stop stocks deal too late and was trying to catch
the next big boom. Guys, just just wait, just wait
until it goes back up.

Speaker 3 (35:45):
AMC. I swear like it's coming back.

Speaker 4 (35:48):
What do you?

Speaker 3 (35:48):
What do you think about all this?

Speaker 4 (35:49):
Kon It's a difficult situation. I think someone someone had
a comment earlier, and it's hard for OPI because she
was also just gave birth yeah, and like she's worried
about that and like it's in like shell shock.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
That was what they said.

Speaker 4 (36:03):
We find the comment, because that was actually a really
good comment that stuck out to me. I don't know
if we can find it. It's a little bit further.
Uh right here, Amy de OPI's in shell shock and
is in a hormonal turmoil after giving birth. She'll come
to her senses, hopefully sooner than later. But yeah, like ope,
there's like just a thought about this. It doesn't seem
real to me. Yeah, it just doesn't seem real that

(36:23):
it's same. Say, if my partner did this, no, car Yeah,
I don't think she would ever. But if my partner
did this and took that amount of money, I would
be baffled. And like that's not who Carly, So.

Speaker 2 (36:39):
Honestly, on you should get ahead of that and go
ahead and check her credit and maybe see any debtors
and see if she's got anything behind closed doors. We
need to figure out what if we need to get
to the bottom of this guy. Right now.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
We can't let this yeah to anybody else. We can't
let it have it again.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
Oh my god, like happy birthday. Your money's gone, all right?
But ladies and gentlemen, that's faked.

Speaker 3 (37:03):
But this is real.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
This next update is staring us in the face. Let's
get into it. So update from the comment section. I
don't remember if I had posted stuff on this, but
he had us in deferment from our mortgage from when
he was laid off, and he said we are going
to start paying it again in November, which has always
come from his salary. And then I found it in
March that we actually weren't paying for it since December.

Speaker 3 (37:29):
Goda love it.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
We paid it once, then he extended the deferment, so
basically he made one payment so he could skip.

Speaker 3 (37:35):
All the others.

Speaker 2 (37:36):
Oh my god, he.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
Had gotten another deferment without even telling me.

Speaker 3 (37:41):
I was effing lived.

Speaker 1 (37:43):
I found out because we got some notice in the
mail saying we've been trying to get a hold of
you and if you don't respond, there could be a
lean on your house. That's right, we could now become homeless. Well,
he had just got home from work and I was
in full panic, and he was like, they said that
by accident.

Speaker 3 (38:04):
I just got off the phone with them, et cetera.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
It said that by accident. Lies.

Speaker 3 (38:09):
Oh my blood is boiling with the lies going on.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
You owe me one hundred and twenty five thousand dollars
or I'm gonna take your apartment in car. Rather, it
was just just said that by accident. It just slipped out.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
It's just, you know, just one of those things.

Speaker 2 (38:21):
It's all good.

Speaker 1 (38:23):
God, I'm like, this sounds like a perfect excuse. Apparently
they did send it by mistake. What okay, who's telling
you this then?

Speaker 3 (38:32):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (38:33):
Or your husband?

Speaker 3 (38:34):
Yeah, yeah, there's one.

Speaker 2 (38:35):
You can definitely know it's not right.

Speaker 1 (38:38):
New eviction notice from photoshop dot com. Oh my god,
they hadn't updated that. We were allowed to deferment. I
don't know. It all seems too convenient. If there is
something that gets messed up with our home, I will
lose my mind. I need to look at our checking
to see the transactions, because I had thought the money
had come out of our account or I was just

(38:58):
assuming it comes out of the which I don't use.
I use my points card and his salary goes into
that account. So that's what got me into this mess
is I haven't tracked his spending.

Speaker 3 (39:09):
Yeah, we don't know where any of that.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
It seems like we don't know where any of the
money is going anyhow?

Speaker 2 (39:15):
Wait, what's that one? Like rocket rocket something?

Speaker 3 (39:18):
Come rocket?

Speaker 2 (39:19):
No? No, no, rocket money, rocket money, so you can track
where everything's going.

Speaker 3 (39:22):
What's the cold that I don't know?

Speaker 2 (39:24):
Like like it's like rocket mortgage or like that online
thing app where you can like track where you're Yeah,
give one of those apps that track where all the
spinding's going and sign him up for it. Please, You'd
be like, oh, so, yeah, anything anything anyhow, We're gonna
start therapy soon.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
That to me sounds like they're staying together. I've been
deep in my thoughts about it all. Obviously I have
love for him, I've been dealing with him my whole
adult life, but like, I feel nothing. I feel no
attraction or desire for him. I feel passed away about
us as a couple, Like I honestly don't know if
I'm going to be able to get back there with him. Divorce,

(40:01):
even just splitting up our effing home assets sounds impossible.

Speaker 3 (40:05):
This is not what I wanted or ever saw for myself.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
But I don't know if I'm going to get it
back for him. I feel so effing heartbroken about my kids.
I have a five month old baby. Splitting up time
with my kids sounds horrific, But I don't know. At
one point I'm going to be settling. It's at this
point staying with him is settling. Yes, can I ever
get trust back? And more so, can I ever get
my attraction back to him?

Speaker 3 (40:29):
And what's the answer, Riley?

Speaker 4 (40:30):
No?

Speaker 2 (40:32):
No, run, run, run, run, run, run run. He doesn't
have attraction for you anymore because he's spending your money
as a couple. He's spent is gone.

Speaker 1 (40:39):
He is busting nuts worth tens of thousands of dollars.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
She's in denial because I don't blame her. She's afraid
to start over.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
Every time he clicks that trade button, bro is creaming.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
And I feel horrible for this woman because if she
decides to go down the path of separation, no more city,
no more small business, she's gonna have to go to
a small town with their kids, into her mom's house
or sister's house, and that's gonna be your new life.
And she has to start over like that that's scary.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
Like yeah, like ah, And I feel like if we
start over and now, I mean, he's already taken so much,
it's kind of hard to imagine at least I will say,
here's one thing we haven't said. At least they aren't well,
I was gonna say, at least they aren't in debt,
because but they have four thousand dollars cash I think,
not four thousand dollars positive on their network.

Speaker 3 (41:28):
There they have to be in debt, Yeah they.

Speaker 2 (41:32):
Yeah, he's in heck.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
Oh man, it's been months and I've been asking to
be kept in the loop telling me what's going on.

Speaker 3 (41:38):
I've told him he.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
Needs to get a side job to pay for his debt,
which starts in May. That was a whole other maddening
convo because he was not upfront about the info either,
and I had to ask over and over about it
before I finally got the info. By the way, if
you are angry like everyone sitting in this room, is
right now one thing that could be used sometimes as
a calmbing divide, very rarely, very rarely, but sometimes some

(42:04):
it does happen. You can listen to our full podcast
with two thousand episodes. Go to Spotify, Apple or iHeart
and search Okay story time and listen to that.

Speaker 3 (42:11):
But Riley, we are almost at the end.

Speaker 2 (42:14):
Macer's racer said it I'm really getting mad at op
for not protecting the kids. Yeah, back asking him, be
getting on him for a month. Girl, you do not
have time or space, frankly, or resources to be asking.
It should be demanding or you're gone.

Speaker 3 (42:31):
Yeah you can't, baby, you gotta do this.

Speaker 2 (42:33):
He doesn't understand the weight that he's put on his family,
and it seems like you understand it, but you don't
want to put that weight on him because you know
he can't handle it, Like you gotta, you gotta make moves.

Speaker 3 (42:43):
Yeah, this is no.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
We've reached the point where it's like you're harming your kids.
You're harming yourself because it's like he can, I don't know,
continue stealing from the kid.

Speaker 3 (42:52):
He can get like.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
He's already destabilized. Like just a fact that you stayed
in a relationship with him and kept act to the
bank accounts means that he screwed your children's future over
that much more right, it's it's already done. And guess
what we know he will not stop. No, he will
not stop at all. Kea Terra Rain says he should
get nothing in divorce.

Speaker 3 (43:13):
He already got hundreds of thousands.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
Also, in what world does she not get one hundred
percent custody.

Speaker 3 (43:20):
I mean like, oh yeah, I mean, look, the courts
can fail us.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
We know this, but like I don't know, like if anything,
I'm like Lisbee says, she's put up absolutely no boundaries. Yeah,
like I haven't heard, like like she changed the accounts,
but like where's I don't know. Yeah, it's just not Yeah,
I think Mingming said I don't want a victim blame
my uugh, Like, yes, that's why I'm too, Like I
don't want to bash oh because oh p is the

(43:43):
victim here, like he did all of this to her,
but like you just need to get out.

Speaker 3 (43:48):
I just don't know.

Speaker 2 (43:49):
It's not a hit her yet. She's in this denile face. Yeah,
needs to hit her. Oh all right, well.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
Let's let's let's close this out here is this is
this a whole episode story right here?

Speaker 3 (43:58):
Oh wow, we got more?

Speaker 2 (43:59):
Okay, there we go.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
So we had a big talk this last weekend about
it all, and just like what more high stakes does
he need to step up? Give me info, lead and
make a plan. He stepped up in other ways around
the house. He's a great dad. Again incorrect, but it's
just like I don't know, I've never been in a
traumatic situation like this, really deep in my thoughts, like

(44:20):
how do I get my feelings back for him?

Speaker 3 (44:22):
You don't.

Speaker 1 (44:24):
Getting a divorce or dating as a thirty seven year
old with three kids sounds horrible and like I'll be
alone for a while. Financially being on my own as
someone who has a new baby is always harder for
the woman. I own my own biz and make good money,
but I have insurance through my husband to have double
income household, et cetera.

Speaker 3 (44:39):
I just feel so stuck and so sad about this all.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
I hate to say it, but I don't know if
we made any progress in this entire ordeal.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
Nah. No, we were putting faith in a man that
proven not to be faithful or lead worthy. Yeah, it's
like like, Okay, I've been waiting on him for for
him to do it.

Speaker 1 (44:59):
Should he do it? Should he have done it? Absolutely?
Is he going to do it now? No, like we've Yeah, so.

Speaker 2 (45:06):
Probably didn't put us off to it. Some in your
life has to kind of change once you've noticed your
partners eating out, more, smoking, more, doing all these things.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
Yeah, she had to notice that he was spending and
doing other things more than he was.

Speaker 4 (45:22):
Yeah, because he ordering for like he's getting takeout, but
like what is he ordering? Like lobster every night? I
uh to rack? That amount is insane.

Speaker 2 (45:32):
And two she's like, oh, he probably doesn't want to
like confront it. It sounds like she has to confront it,
but she also doesn't want to confront.

Speaker 4 (45:40):
Yes, I just don't think she's coming terms to reality
right now. She I mean I wouldn't either. I would like,
this is not reality, this is this is fake. This
can't be real in this amount, like in that span
of time.

Speaker 3 (45:52):
Yeah, maybe her brain is just broken.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
And now she just thinks she lives in the matrix
or something because it's like this is too this is
just too insane.

Speaker 3 (45:58):
Too crazy.

Speaker 2 (45:59):
Nago Ego says she needs good friends. Yeah, yeah, all right.

Speaker 3 (46:06):
But that's it. That's all.

Speaker 1 (46:08):
That's all we got. That's literally it. But I have
some potentially good news, something to change the vibe a
little bit, but hopefully for the better.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
And that's this next story.

Speaker 3 (46:19):
Hey, it's Sam.

Speaker 2 (46:20):
We're gonna get back to these stories.

Speaker 5 (46:21):
But here's three bits bad from our sponsors that keep
the show alive.

Speaker 2 (46:25):
My husband didn't invite me to his graduation then you
try to gasight me. Uh uh, husband didn't invite us
to his graduation. Found out today that he did, in
fact invite his family. Throwaway account because I'm tired of
having so much to post about and it's been an emotional,
draining couple of weeks to say the least. By the way,
this comes from TIS for Tiger fifteen and then Whole

(46:48):
ninety five. And if you want to see your own stories,
go to our slash Okay storytime subreddit. So we got
a duel.

Speaker 4 (46:54):
We got a double right here.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
It's like we've got two POV's here. Oh, let's freaking
Oh those are the best to start off. My husband
is graduating from Office Candidate School in two weeks.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Office Candidate School, you're officially a candidate for office congratulations?

Speaker 2 (47:11):
Okay, Ke, could you look up for that? Is? Is? Yeah,
like what John just got back from Entrepreneur podcast Academy.
I mean, at least that makes sense. What is an
office candidate like?

Speaker 3 (47:24):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (47:25):
Office Candidates School is or OCS is a program for
civilians and enlisted service members to become commission officers in
the United States military.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
Oh, civilian to army man, I see Okay, congrats.

Speaker 3 (47:41):
Got it.

Speaker 4 (47:41):
Find out if you're qualified. That's the first thing. All right, crazy,
let's do it.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
Let's all sign up for it. The stream from the
Army Oh boy. To start off, my husband is graduating
from Office Canada School in two weeks, which is where
a civilian becomes an army man. He's been gone for
six months. He was home for Christmas for two weeks,
and I've been a stay at home mama to our
almost two year old little one. I've been blessed to
be able to be at home, but single parenting is

(48:05):
no joke and have mostly been in it during a pandemic. Anyway,
he wasn't able to have guests at his graduation from
boot Camp BCT, but he was able to have two
adult guests at his officer graduation and one minor. I
actually didn't hear this from my husband. My mother saw
it on Facebook. I don't have social media aside from Reddit,

(48:25):
and it was for a graduation that took place last month.
At the base where he was at was beginning to
have in person guests, only two guests and one minor
and tons of the VID restrictions. I brought this up
to my husband last month and he said that it
was likely they would be allowed to guests and one minor,
but that they weren't quite sure yet and they wouldn't

(48:47):
know more until close to graduation. I don't know. It
seems like they know if they're posted on first book.

Speaker 3 (48:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
I think he just had to save that for the
other two people that he had going, his other wife
and his other kid. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, those Tiger family,
Ticcer family. We then talked about how it might be
difficult for me to travel with a little one, that
the little one wouldn't sit still during the ceremony, the
vid et cetera. I also had a possible surgery I
was going to have to have, but ended up pushing

(49:14):
it back to when my husband returns for training four
sixteen weeks in July. Okay, fast forward a few weeks ago.
We talked about graduation again, and he says he invited
his dad and brother that they were getting a hotel
and attending his graduation. I didn't ask why his mom
was going. I just figured, okay, two people are allowed
per candidate, so he invited his brother and his dad.
I tried not to be upset because we were actually

(49:35):
never formally invited. It was almost like my husband was
coming up with excuses as to why we shouldn't go. Okay,
I am a little confuser because she was kind of
like being like, well, it'd be hard for me and
the baby to make it. I'm not really sure. She
didn't seem like super on board about coming to the graduation.

Speaker 3 (49:51):
But I mean, I think the correct me if I'm wrong.

Speaker 1 (49:54):
He knew that he had the possibility of being able
to invite the two of them and then just ever
said anything.

Speaker 2 (50:01):
Got it.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
And that's where it's like, hey, yeah, maybe I couldn't
have gone anyways, but it's like, why are you not
telling me about your graduation or like inviting.

Speaker 3 (50:10):
Me to your graduation?

Speaker 1 (50:11):
Like it would be like is it possible that he
was like dumb enough to that's just an oversight.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
Yes, I think it's an I think it's possible, but
not likely. Yeah, flash forward to today. I asked my
husband if more than two people were allowed to go
to the graduation as of now two weeks out, and
his response was, yeah, only two, but I might be
able to get tickets. We will see. My friend is
only having his wife attend, so he has one ticket available.
Then I said, okay, that's cool. I told him that

(50:37):
my neighbor, who was a former army, asked me today
if we were going to my husband's graduation to wish.
I explained to him that they were only allowed two
people and that husband's brother and dad were going. I
told my husband I was pretty bummed because I kept
getting asked about his graduation. He instantly got upset at
me and told me I had no right to be
upset because I had chosen not to attend. Hello, you
were never actually invited me. But I can't say that

(51:00):
because he claims he did ask me. She just was like,
it might be hard for me to go. That's the
only conversation they had about it.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
Then he goes on to tell me his mom and
sister are also both going.

Speaker 3 (51:11):
What haven't we used all of our passes except for
the kid passed the minor path.

Speaker 2 (51:16):
Yeah, the kid can probably go, but you can't go
with pee, dude, not you. I was like, Wow, Okay,
that's cool, but in my mind I was floored. And
then he went on about how they just want to
support him and that he hopes he can get them
all tickets. But he was up front with them about that,
not being one hundred percent sure he would be able to. Nonetheless,
they were flying out two days before and then staying
for two days after the graduation to hang out with

(51:38):
his family. You can imagine how I feel at this point.
Then my husband tells me if I want to go now,
to let him know so he can tell his mom
and sister to know to cancel. So you're going now,
so I can tell my mom and sister to cancel,
because I know how you get around my mom and them. Well, whoa, whoa?
Just keep shoving the knife in deeper, will you. I know,

(51:58):
I don't even address this cide because he's hardly ever
assigned responsibility to his family for our strained relationship, and
he constantly pins me as a bad person without acknowledging
all the hurtful things they've done to me, not even
worth arguing about.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
Yeah, it seems this to me is seems to be
the underlying thing here. It's like, yeah, I think the
mom and says are like, oh, well.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
You have to invite us.

Speaker 3 (52:23):
You can't invite o be and your.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
Kid to your own graduation. Come on, just to wait.
So then a short time later we speak over the phone,
and then he tells me just to come and that
I can hang out with his brother outside and toward
the museum, which left me to the assumption, if you're
only allowed two people inside a base for the graduation,
you're not picking me, I'm assuming. Then I politely ask

(52:44):
him if me and the little one can book our
own hotel room, since I'm still front airbag feeding my
little one, but also because I often change my tops
a lot, et cetera. I obviously wouldn't be comfortable sharing
a room with his family either, but I didn't mention
that he was upset and said we would all have
to share a room, same flights, et cetera. Than the
topic was dropped, and I was a feeling like my

(53:06):
husband is a pos I don't even know how to
express how hurt I feel. Sure he eventually invited me,
but after I brought it up, I felt bummed out.
I've never felt more like an afterthought. All of his
friends wives are going, and his entire immediate family is going.
Gro you're a part of his immediate family. Yes, you
are his family like immediate family at that Surely he

(53:27):
didn't tell his friends that he actually didn't invite me.
I'm assuming he told them that I did not want
to go. I sment the entire afternoon crying my eyes out.
He's going to be home soon and I couldn't be
dreading it more. Edit fixed my baby's age as to
not to offend anyone who's bothered by listing months and
not years. Okay, that's funny, and we got an update.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
I don't like this relationship.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
I mean we got we got the kicker, which was
he doesn't defend Oki to his family members, who.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
Especially the mom and sister. It seems like, yeah, so, Alicia,
I'm so sorry. This isn't even an issue about the graduation,
to be honest, it's an entire relationship issue where they
don't communicate and don't even seem to be getting along
that part.

Speaker 1 (54:13):
Yeah, yeah, that's that is what it seems to be.
And he just like isn't really caring. It seems like,
you know, it was a month the graduation here when
it was a month ago. Yeah, and nope, he just
found out like by accident basically. Yeah, so he wasn't
gonna tell her, like, dang, update, do we think she
went or not? Everyone pre your answers in the comments below.

(54:34):
Let's see, I could have find the throwaway account, so
I made a post a couple of weeks ago. So
this is from her other account, I see. So we
don't get to see the other pov. Not even sure
what it began, but a lot has happened since I
posted a couple of weeks ago. My husband is home
from the military. He was at school and training and
his graduation took place last Thursday. His mom and dad,
brother and sister were all invited in attendance. I was

(54:56):
really sad about the entire thing, but I did make
the best of the day, and the little one, almost
a two year old, celebrated.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
In our own way. We went out to eat and
enjoyed a nice stay at the beach. My husband was
still sticking to his version of events that he invited
me I was supposed to be unable to attend, and
that his family was going, and that he was getting
them extra tickets. Each candidate was given two adult tickets
in one minor ticket. He spent the day of the
graduation and the day after with his family and came

(55:22):
home last weekend. We had a good family reunion of
just the three I picked him up from the airport,
and LO and I were happy to see him. Came
to a head. On the third day of his arrival,
I saw tons of pictures online of the graduation, many
of his fellow classmates and other spouses and children in attendance.
Some had their parents, only a few had siblings. I

(55:43):
brought this up to my husband as I was confused.
He told me the real reason he did not want
me there was because he didn't want me to fight
with his mother over who would pin him.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
Uh, there we go, there it is. Go at least
we've discovered it.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
Emombo Mama's boy, Mama's boy. Dude, that's crazy like that one.
Where'd that come from? Domod f That's a song that
makes so much more sense. Oh Elo means little one?
Oh you said l O, and I I was like,
what little one?

Speaker 3 (56:18):
It was?

Speaker 2 (56:19):
J Lo Reddy? Can we stop using abbreviations please, it's confusing,
it's too much soon to b X husband, that one's
the worst one. Yeah, Like, come on.

Speaker 3 (56:29):
I always think it's like Starbucks' stv X. Yeah, that's it.
That's an insane excuse.

Speaker 1 (56:35):
And also to the main the big hidden nugget that
we got earlier of like, yeah, he doesn't like defend
me to his family or anything, so like instead of
having his wife and his child, but you know, like
basically his wife be there, he would rather appease his mom.
So that way they don't have to fight over who's

(56:55):
going to pin the pin.

Speaker 2 (56:57):
Yep, exactly, jacket easy. That sounds like a great place
for a foundation or relationship.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
I've got another solution, divorce, not yet for this, it's
not yet, not out.

Speaker 2 (57:08):
But I don't think they should go out together in
the first place. I mean that should really be we
have divorce and then we have time machine. Yeah, time gin,
so you go back in time. You're like, do not
get a relationship with this person.

Speaker 3 (57:20):
Don't do it.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
For his specific school, he would be pinned on both sides.
So again I was confused. So we've been pinned twice,
one for his mom, one for his wife.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
Like I mean, maybe you're only allowed to have one person,
but it doesn't matter, It doesn't even matter.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
It's just like, ah God, I asked him why I
couldn't pin one side and his mother the other. We
could have pinned them simultaneously. He then said that his
sister pinned the other side, and that he was afraid
I had been in attendance. I would have wanted to
pin both sides. He never communicated this to me, not
once I told him that he had communicated this to
me back in April. I would have been happy to

(57:55):
share it in pinning along with his mother. I told
him I was never given the opportunity to talk it
through with him. He then went on to say he
didn't communicate it with me because he knew how jealous
that would be, and that there would be no point
in bringing it up. Do My favorite part about this
guy is like he already knows what OPI he's about
to say. He already knows what her thoughts are. He
was sort of like in that he's saving time by

(58:17):
not even asking her. Very efficient man, Listen, Wow, you
know sometimes the fastest way to say something is guess
what schocoletis, gentlemen, by just not saying at all. If
you want pure speed, if you want to be a
Formula F one racer racing emotions, then don't say anything,
and it's the quickest way to communicate the nothing that

(58:40):
you're sharing. Nothing could go wrong there you go, life advices,
I could understand if this had happened before, but I've
never attended any of my husband's ceremonies or graduations before.
This isn't typical behavior because it's never happened. I do
not have the best relationship with my in law, specifically
with my mother in law, and that stands for my
husband's inability to have or establish boundaries with his family.

(59:02):
When this conversation was brought up, he stated that he
loves us all the same. Although I am his wife
and we have a baby, it seems like he doesn't
view us as our own family unit, but rather as
an extension of his family. He is fully aware of
things his mother has said to me and now I've
been treated, and yet he still believes that I'm the
problem and that I'm the one who needs to make
an effort. He went as far to say that even

(59:25):
if it was his family, isn't making an effort, which
they did very little of while he was gone, I
still need to make an effort. And by the way,
you need to make an effort. After the story, go
to your favorite freaking podcast platform search up Okay Storytime
on Apple, iHeartRadio, or Spotify, make an effort and watch
more stories like this one. Come on, it'll be fun.

Speaker 3 (59:43):
Do it?

Speaker 2 (59:44):
Do it now equals more effort out? Yes, yes, And John,
can you find this man's backbone for his family? Is
it possible?

Speaker 3 (59:52):
Oh? I just looked. It doesn't exist.

Speaker 2 (59:54):
Not a thing, it doesn't exist. It's a whisper of air.

Speaker 3 (59:57):
Yeah. I mean it's Wait. We've said this a million
times the show.

Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
If if a family is stressing out one you know,
your significant other, If it's your family, it's your job
to go to them and talk to him about it.
So I you know, this is early. We haven't got
accounsel or anything, but it's like, will he ever fix this?
Will he ever actually change his ways? Doesn't seem likely
from where we're sitting and all the information we have

(01:00:22):
at hand.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
I can't help but feel hurt that he has intentionally
excluded us from his graduation and repeatedly deny not inviting me.
He knew what he was doing the entire time. There
was no apology and certainly no remorse of any kind.
He feels like he was justified in his actions and
that he had the right not to invite whomever he wanted.
He expects me to carry on and having a happy

(01:00:45):
marriage and act like nothing happened. I don't feel like
I'm allowed to have any sort of voice or opinion
on how I'm treated, specifically when it comes to his family.
If I do voice my feelings, they're used against me
and our users fuel to his agenda that my husband
thanks I have against his family. You hate my family.

Speaker 3 (01:01:04):
That's it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
I'm seeing that story.

Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
Iikes, big yikes. This was an episode of big yikes
across the board. I do have to say, yeah, I
do have to say.

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
I wish you were I feel like I wish people
are like able to see a day in the life
of them and their future spouse before they get married.
Like there's like a little bit of a glimpse. I
got fifteen minute video or something, yeah, of like what
your life's gonna look like. Yeah, and if you hit pause,
you can like stop and like, you know, I don't know.
There's just has to be something, some kind of technology, yeah,

(01:01:34):
out there to predict this kind of thing.

Speaker 3 (01:01:36):
Yeah, I so true.

Speaker 1 (01:01:38):
Ask chat to first create the predicted scenario based on
everything you got, and then bring it over to have
the video generated and then watch it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:46):
That's kind of crazy, kind of crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
I feel like you could because humans are people of behavior,
so you're able to understand every person's behavior beforehand and
kind of get a glimpse. Yeah, it might work on
something I work on an app. Oh oh coming to
you soon. But you know what's coming to you soon
is the end of this episode, because it's here right now. Yeah,
And if you love us, make sure to subscribe. We

(01:02:09):
love you and see you tomorrow.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My husband STOLE over $300k from my family… I can’t trust him again! | Reddit Stories | EP2162