My husband wants to OPEN our marriage… I’m considering divorce! | Reddit Stories | EP2117 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Cowboys Sam and this is eh John. And
we've last owed.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
In some amazing stories for y'all the Okay Storytime podcasts.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
But before that we got a wrangle, a quick little
two minute outbreak from those bucking sponsors.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
We bucking love so much they paid us the bucks
to help this show stay alive. My husband wants to
open our marriage. I'm considering divorce close it for good.

Speaker 4 (00:23):
Background, I thirty three Mail and my husband, thirty three Mail,
let's call him Ethan, have been married for over a
year and have been together for over three years. By
the way, this comes from Jock CDF and if you
want to spend your own stories, go to the r slash.
Okay Storytime suppered it. So Ethan was previously married for
eight years. During that time, he and his ex husband

(00:43):
had an open relationship. And I also just wanted to
see how so they've been married for over a year,
so like, let's say he's thirty two, okay, so you okay,
I'm twenty four to twenty five maybe all right, yep,
but eventually divorced amicably. While they were finalizing the divorce,
Ethan and I'm not Tinder, we spent almost three months
just talking online every day through text and FaceTime before

(01:06):
we finally met in person. When we did meet, while
Ethan was searching for an apartment so he could move
out of the house he and his ex owned together.
From that day on, we became inseparable and eventually made
our relationship official. I must say this is the best
relationship I've ever had. We do everything together. We're both
physically active, but also enjoy being couch potatoes. I love

(01:27):
da whether it's playing video games all night or watching TV.
Last year, Ethan got me into RuPaul's Drag Race, and
now we spend our Friday nights waiting for the latest
episode Sparkles. That's like the ideal for me, Like a
lot of activeness and then also just a lot of
little lazon around, little chill time.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Ye Angie show.

Speaker 4 (01:48):
Yeah, I know. In the early stages of our relationship,
we discussed what kind of relationship we wanted. I made
it clear that I didn't want to be in an
open relationship because it's just not for me. He agreed
and said he wanted a monogamous relationship too. Is That
was one of the factors that led to the failure
of his previous marriage. Was he the one who initiated.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
I was about to ask that we also.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
Discussed his preferences regarding his fantasies, which I believe is
called stag or can I even say that by other
spicy hobbies? Not sure which term applies. You share that
he fantasizes about me being intimate with another man, whether
it be me using or being used by someone else. Okay,
I admitted that it would be difficult for me to

(02:32):
fulfill that fantasy, but I was willing to find a compromise.
But that feels like, I mean, obviously, no, that's not
what I was gonna say. It feels like that is
a not necessarily for everyone, But in this set of circumstances,
that feels like a precursor to open relationship.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
Yeah, Like he's like, oh, what's the fantasy? Is things
that happen in an open relationship.

Speaker 4 (02:52):
It's in an open relationship.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
And then so now he's like, well, so like, but
I don't like want the open relationship.

Speaker 4 (02:58):
You know, maybe it's my fantasy? Are you kink shaming?
Check me?

Speaker 1 (03:01):
What do we do? Yeah? Now we're just chick me
Now have just canceled each other out? What's going on?

Speaker 4 (03:07):
So we introduced toys into our schmecksy time and began
incorporating talk about scenarios involving other people called during that time.
You didn't, I said, so stop saying spicy goal. This
approach seems to work, as he appears to be satisfied.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
Uh huh, never miss satisfied.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
Okay. Over a year later we got married. It was
a mid sized wedding, around eighty guests at a nice venue,
around forty five guests on his side and thirty five
with mine. So two years into the relationship, it seems
or maybe is it one whole like one year total?
I can I've been married for over a year. They've
been married for over a year and have been together
for over three years. At the beginning, dig his spot

(03:47):
you failed. Yeah, so they've been together for three years.
So we went on a nice honeymoon to Hawaii, staying
an entire week there. Earlier today, Ethan and I made
plans for from schmicksy time while we were in bed
and I was scrolling through TikTok kind of a thing
before spicy Time.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yeah, yeah, it was like.

Speaker 4 (04:07):
Okay, okay, take five scroll break a spicy time in
five places. Thank you more? Yeah, He's like, thank you places.
That was a theater joke. He asked me a question.
You probably already know what it is from the title
of the post. He asked if I'd be willing to
open up the marriage for h some He then went

(04:27):
on a whole speech encouraging me to keep an open
mind and think about it. Once he was done, I
immediately said no and asked him what his reasons were
for wanting it. He gave me two reasons.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Here we go.

Speaker 4 (04:38):
Fun.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
Hey, did you think about fun?

Speaker 4 (04:42):
I don't think you did. Excitement.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
Oh, there's another one.

Speaker 4 (04:47):
I don't know. It seems like the same reason, but whatever.
He's like, oh, why do you want to open the
relationship with them? And Even's like, I don't know. Fun
number one, I don't know. Number two? Excitement. Did you
think about them?

Speaker 1 (05:02):
More fun? Maybe?

Speaker 4 (05:03):
More fun?

Speaker 1 (05:04):
Maybe some joy?

Speaker 4 (05:05):
I number won Fun number two? Funner?

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah? Do you want me to keep going funnest?

Speaker 4 (05:11):
That's at least three. I asked him if our spicy
sleeplight was boring and if that's why he wanted to
do that. He said no, and that he just wants
to spice things up a little. He also mentioned that
he's been meaning to ask me this for a while
but got too scared to do so he's been wanting
them for a while. I will say, he's kind of
already asked you before. He said this was his fantasy.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
This is true, So like, I don't know if I.

Speaker 4 (05:37):
Would be like completely shocked in this scenario. Yeah, my
partner said, hey, my fantasy is a three, and then
they're like, hey, I want to have a three.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
I guess in fairness, it is. I guess a little
bit because it did seem like he was pretty adamant
at the beginning of relationship, like, oh, this is why
my last relationship failed, So it seems like maybe there
were some cross signals and maybe op he was leaning
so much on like Okay.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
He's agreeing and like this is good.

Speaker 3 (06:04):
That kind of like missing the very heavy handed Yeah.

Speaker 4 (06:09):
But I'm just like a little bit confused because it
seems like we heard that Ethan said earlier, Hey, my
fantasy is this, and then Opie was like, oh, that's
not my thing, but like I can try to be
open to like thinking.

Speaker 1 (06:21):
Well, they came up with an alternative.

Speaker 4 (06:23):
Solution and then he's bringing it up again. Yeah, so
I just don't know if this is going to work
out that if he really wants that, and you're like, no.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
Yeah, and I do think it is. I think Ethan
always wanted this, But I think I agree. I think
he lied in the beginning. Yes, and he like was
was like, oh, all work, I'll work my way up
to it over.

Speaker 5 (06:42):
No.

Speaker 4 (06:42):
I think he's absolutely like tricking Opine, I argued, saying
it's boring for you. You wouldn't want to spice things
up if it weren't. I told him that we were
becoming spicily incompatible and suggested that we might need to
consider being legally separated, which is kind of what I
just said. Even though I love you and this is
gonna suck, it's better to end this now because it's
something I cannot fulfill. It's against my morals, and even

(07:04):
if I did it once, it would unlive my mental
health to go against my principles just to please you.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
Yeah, because this isn't just about like a aspect of
their their spicy sleep life. It is a kind of
promise and standard that OPI set in the beginning of
the relationship. Yeah, and so it's like, hey, you're you're
going against this, like, you know, for for me, a
non negotiable thing that I hadn't said, I want a monogamous.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
Relationship, totally fair.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
And it's like, if this is what you really want them,
we're incompatible exactly.

Speaker 4 (07:32):
And I think that's a super fair thing to say.
It's like we just I'm never gonna do it and
you want it. And Kimberly Fine says, is OPI male
or female? OPI is male?

Speaker 1 (07:40):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (07:41):
He got quiet and eventually said that we should go
to couples counseling. I told him that there's nothing wrong
with him. A lot of gay and straight couples have
open relationships, even polyamorous ones. But that's not for me
or something I want to be a part of. I
said it, it's better to end it now before it
reaches a point where you might resent me for not
fulfilling your fantasy. That we just lay there in bed,

(08:01):
deep in our thoughts. And then he went to the
store to grab something or cool off. What do you
think we should do?

Speaker 1 (08:07):
I just want to call out real quick.

Speaker 3 (08:09):
I love to Opie's comment on that, Hey, there's nothing
like inherently wrong with you for wanting that there are
people like is previous you know that lationship ended. But
it's like, hey, your previous husband, you both wanted that.
There's nothing wrong with you. You know, it's just not
what I want in a relationship. And I think it's
a great response. I think that's a great response. What
did you say right after that?

Speaker 1 (08:28):
Too? There's another piece that I a.

Speaker 4 (08:31):
Lot, But that's not I said, it's better to end
it out before it reaches a point where you might
resent me for not fulfilling your fantasy.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yes, and then that too, So it's like, hey, there's
nothing wrong with you.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
I'm not like attacking you or like what you want
out of relationship or life, and like, hey, I don't
want to like basically, I don't want to stop you
from being able to get what you want and building
up feelings of resentment and stuff.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 4 (08:54):
Agree.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
Do you think that he might weaponize the therapist?

Speaker 4 (08:57):
Well, I just think there's no point, like, what what
are you going to therapy for?

Speaker 3 (09:02):
Ye?

Speaker 6 (09:02):
If he picked out the therapist, Hey, we're gonna go
to this therapist. I found that agrees with these kind
of things. But Opie doesn't know that.

Speaker 4 (09:10):
Maybe, but it's just yeah, like the only thing that
a therapist like. It feels like what Ethan wants the
therapist to do is to completely change one either his
mind or Ope's mind, probably OPI's. Yeah, probably probably Opie's.
And which case, you can't. You can't change someone's mind
on something that's a moral value.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
Yeah, and also.

Speaker 4 (09:32):
You can't be you know yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
Basically Opie is like, hey, look, this is just not
for me. You can have it.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
It's fine, I don't I don't hate you for it,
but like, we just can't be in a relationship with
these misaligning things.

Speaker 4 (09:43):
Yeah, that's a fair thing, but there are some comments
common one says, Honestly, it's up to you. I mean,
if my wife suggested opening the marriage, we would be done.
And that's it. You handled it well. You still showed
him love and support, and you drew your boundary. Do
you sound well adjusted? He knows the consequences now the
ball is in his comment two says pretty sure his
first marriage ended because he wanted to open it up

(10:05):
and his ex didn't want to, And now he's trying
his luck with you, hoping you'd be more easy to
be manipulated into it than his X was. Well, I
think that if this has always been his fantasy when
he said, oh, yeah, my previous marriage didn't work because
of an open relationship, probably something that he suggested.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Yeah, I think I think you're probably right.

Speaker 4 (10:21):
If I were you and I knew the X was
not a crazy person, I'd try reaching out to ask
exactly what happened to cause it to fail inside of
the story might help you make more sense of the
story instead of only ethanside. Common three says, I really
wish people would stop requesting their partners to hook up
with other people for their pleasure. If a m effort
tells you they're monogamous, don't pretend you are two to

(10:42):
lock them down, then randomly try to sneak some other
people into the mix down the road. It's deceitful and
manipulative as f Sorry, Hope, I just got pissed for you.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
Dude, dude, rout of applause for Sophie's freestyle censoring right there,
they're just jumping doged.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
There is an update, though, give.

Speaker 3 (11:02):
Me thoughts, I mean just quickly reiterating, Yeah, I liked
I liked the Opie's response and like heyl nothing wrong
with you, go live your life. But it ain't it
ain't gonna Bena be with me. Yes, and yeah, I
think the like the way o P. It's not like
he is like M I'm kind of like on the fence.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
I'm not sure. Op, He's like, this is very I
know very clearly what I want.

Speaker 3 (11:22):
Yeah, and so there's it's just gonna cause more friction, tension,
pain and heartache to try to spicy.

Speaker 4 (11:29):
Alignment is a very important part of a relationship. Yes,
it's like you have to make sure that you guys
are both on the same page about what you want.
And if someone wants less, that's not a problem at all.
And if someone wants more that's not a problem either.
It's just you have to make sure that you're on
the same page.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
What is this, dude, I'm being weaponized with the zooms today.

Speaker 4 (11:52):
What are you talking about?

Speaker 5 (11:52):
A line NIGN guys shop.

Speaker 4 (11:58):
But there is an update.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (12:00):
Since my last post, I've been sleeping on the couch
for the past two nights because I didn't want to
be around him. Last night, when I got home from work,
my husband and I spent nearly three hours discussing our
relationship and the threesome he wanted us to engage in.
I was very emotional throughout the conversation, and while I
may have forgotten some details, I remember the important points clearly.

(12:21):
He was very apologetic after seeing how his request slash
offer upset me, and he assured me that he didn't
mean to make a big issue of it. I started
asking him questions. I asked if there was a specific
person he had in mind for us to engage with
in the activity, and he said no. I also asked
if he had slept with anyone else since we've been together,
and he said no. I asked him if something had

(12:42):
happened or changed that made him want to have a
threes He said no. A lot of notes, but he
did mention that he wanted to ask just in case
my stance on them or non monogamy had changed. I
asked him again to clarify what he meant by spicying
things up, and he explained that we've been having vanilla
spicy sleep, which is why he made the suggestion.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
And he did clock it. He did say early.

Speaker 3 (13:03):
Ask him earlier, like, you want this because you think
our spicy sleep life is boring.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
He's it's like, yeah, you wouldn't be asking otherwise.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
Dude, Okay, that makes me trust you way less. War
my guy.

Speaker 4 (13:13):
I told him that there's nothing wrong with vanilla spicy sleep,
but there are other ways to spice things up without
involving non monogamy, like the adult toys we use from
time to time. I then reiterated that I'm seriously considering
separation because of his quests. I also reminded him of
our plan to buy a house later this year or
early next year, and eventually adopt a child to raise
as our own. I explained that open marriages have a

(13:36):
high failure rate, and I don't want to adopt a
child only for them to experience us separating because our
marriage failed. Wow, this isn't the case for all open marriages.
I'm not willing to take that risk, and I don't
want that dynamic in our relationship, which is very smart.
I mean, you want as stable of a home for.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
Your child, so absolutely yeah.

Speaker 4 (13:56):
He then apologized again and said that his fantasies were
just that fantasies, and that he could live without them
being fulfilled and could just get off and be back
to normal. He also told me that he still loves
me so much and wants to spend the rest of
our lives together. I expressed to him that my trust
is shaken and it's going to take a lot of
work for us to get back to where we were.
He then suggested couples counseling again, and I agreed. I

(14:18):
also brought up the idea of seeing Spicy sleep therapist,
either for him individually or for both of us, to
help us better understand each other and possibly explore new
fantasies that we can enjoy together without involving non monogamy.
He then promised not to bring up anything about non monogamy.
I want to thank everyone who responded to my post.
I understand some of you hope for a different outcome,

(14:40):
but I don't want to end the relationship solely because
of Spicy related fantasies. I truly hope I made the
right choice and won't end up with a broken heart
down the line. But you know what is of the
right choice?

Speaker 1 (14:52):
God?

Speaker 4 (14:52):
What Sophia listening to full episodes with stories just like this?
Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search
a pocket story time. But man, there is a little
bit left to the story in John, Yes, do you
believe Ethan?

Speaker 3 (15:08):
I don't believe him for a second. Also believe him either. Also,
just just the irony about He's like, hey, look, I
know things aren't going so great, so I think we
need to bring a third person in this council.

Speaker 4 (15:22):
I think we need a therapist. It's not gonna look
like a therapist's office.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
It's a very new style.

Speaker 4 (15:29):
Yeah, it's kind of like you know how they have
music therapy.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it's nothing like that. Yeah, dude,
I literally like he was just we we caught him
in he said in the beginning relationship, I'm cool with
n Agmy And he's like, I have this fantasy. He said,
our spicy sleep life isn't boring us, not it. Then
he said, we have a vanilla suppicy sleep five like
he keeps. It's not just now the misalignment in, you know,

(15:55):
a big foundational piece of how they want to operate
a relationship. It's also now that we keep catching him
like in these lies and I'm like, how how do
we trust him?

Speaker 4 (16:04):
No, he's telling op what he wants to hear.

Speaker 1 (16:06):
Yes, he's warm tongue in it.

Speaker 4 (16:08):
Yes, oh, dear, Yeah. I mean, like the thing is,
we already saw Ethan come top say I want to
do this and let's go to therapy, and OP said no.
And now he's saying what OP wants to hear, and
then also adding let's go to therapy. I know, like
he knows he's trying to manipulate OP, and so he's
using what OP wants to It feels like, hopefully we.

Speaker 3 (16:30):
Don't have the full context of the whole relationship, but
I agree with you. From all we can see, it
absolutely seems like he's just saying that they kind of
go to it.

Speaker 4 (16:39):
Yeah, but uh, there's a little bit left to the story.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (16:42):
Hopefully this will be the last update on this topic,
but if there's more, I'll be sure to reach out again.
I'd also love to hear everyone's take on this. Did
I make the right choice by not ending this relationship outright?
Edit to clarify, when I said my trust is shaken,
I was referring to our relationship. I'm questioning everything we've
planned to other, including whether we should move forward with
the house and have children. I don't want to deepen

(17:04):
our commitments. If this is something he strongly feels about
and cannot compromise on or live without. In that case,
those plans would definitely need to be reconsidered. Comments to
finish the story off Comment one says it should be
okay to open up to a partner as a fantasy
as long as they get to say no and have
you respect that and not pressure them. People have fantasies,
both mundane and wild, and not being able to fill

(17:26):
them isn't the end of your marriage. I think you'll
get through this, that's true. I mean, there are fantasies.
Like sometimes you bring up fantasies and they're not things
that you necessarily are, like a sneaks app but I'm
just you know.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah, it's like about this.

Speaker 3 (17:40):
It's like it's like when you go to a restaurant
and you're like, oh, hey, do you have like my
my favorite salmonedih and like ah, Nah's like oh, well,
like do you have like a like a beer battered
fish and like yeah, like okay, great.

Speaker 4 (17:50):
Yeah exactly. I mean, and I think that really quickly.
I think that would have been fine if Ethan had
come and said, hey, this is my fantasy and then ope,
he said, I don't ever want to do that.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
This is not that. This case is not no.

Speaker 4 (18:03):
It's a it's like Ethan came said, this is my fantasy.
He said no. Ethan said, okay, that's totally fine. I
don't even care. Then came back and said, actually I
do care. Let's do it, and op he said no,
and he said, oh but it's boring, like our spicy
sleep life is boring. And so it was just this
back and forth of him lying yes, yeah.

Speaker 6 (18:20):
Also I forgot this was two dudes until now. Yes,
And if this is the case, dide I just punch
him and be like, leave me alone.

Speaker 4 (18:27):
No, I don't know. That's terrible advice.

Speaker 1 (18:30):
Is knock my brother? You know that's that's the abuse.
Oh that's me and my brother hit each other all
the time.

Speaker 4 (18:36):
It's not your brother, this is your partner.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
Well, you guys are still bros. No, false, Come on,
if you're a couple, aren't you bros?

Speaker 3 (18:44):
No?

Speaker 4 (18:45):
You were like definition not bros.

Speaker 6 (18:48):
I don't know, but like bros are pretty tie and
then they like hit each other. But you're saying if
I marry a dude, I can't hit him.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yes, that is what we're saying. That's exactly.

Speaker 4 (18:58):
Okay, That's why Riley's not yet.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
Reply.

Speaker 4 (19:05):
Would you be able to look at your wife or
husband the same again if they told you they had
a fantasy associated with eating each other's extra I don't
even want to say that. Probably not, lol. It is
definitely okay to open up about fantasies, but it is
also okay for the person to find the revelation that
their partner is interested in that thing to be distressing.
I think that goes into like kink shaming.

Speaker 1 (19:25):
Seems like that's where that's at. But yeah, you know,
but yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 (19:28):
Sometimes again, sometimes people don't have the same the same preferences,
and that's okay, that's okay.

Speaker 4 (19:36):
Totally, And sometimes it doesn't mean the end of the
relationship because that person's preferences are not like make or
break for them. And sometimes it does mean the end
of the relationship because it is make or break for them.

Speaker 3 (19:46):
Yes, and to us this seems like one of those times,
but apparently to op it is not. You know, and
you know, more power to them. Hopefully the counseling goes
well and they learn and who knows.

Speaker 4 (19:58):
I so agree, and you're poison. Toonic has a great
quote from Severn's bow efeculence.

Speaker 3 (20:03):
All right, we're getting the sex story already.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
We're gonna close out. My wife belittles me in public,
but is the total opposite in private.

Speaker 3 (20:11):
Mmmm, that's called the step on me Mommy, well baby,
humiliate is too strong a word.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
Tell Riley that more like condescends to me. So my wife,
what's color? Victoria is tall, beautiful, and well educated. Her
degrees in social science. She's a writer.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
Her writings are mostly critical treatses. I probably pronounced that wrong,
but as of yet she has not published anything. She
is a volunteer Buddist.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
What does that mean?

Speaker 4 (20:42):
Assistant?

Speaker 1 (20:42):
Okay? Can you text that Toanina? Can you text that? Please?
Thank you?

Speaker 3 (20:48):
She is a volunteer assistant at a yoga meditation group
once or twice a month. By the way, this comes
from Lebon Holme Oliver And if you want to submit
your own story, it's good our slash Okay, storytime, So
I read it. I have a master's degree in history
and teach that subject at a community college. I also
work at the same yoga studio at which Victoria volunteers,
but as a full time teacher. I teach hot yoga

(21:08):
and yoga with weights. Don't sign sofia up.

Speaker 4 (21:11):
I will get heat stroke.

Speaker 3 (21:13):
She will pass out. We met a community college I
teach at three years ago. She was taking a writing
workshop and I happened to be friends with the instructor
and met Victorian class. Five months later, we were engaged.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
What wow, that's quick. That is a super quick.

Speaker 3 (21:26):
At that time, Victoria supported herself as a substitute teacher
and a sales associate at a department store. Now that
she's married to me, she doesn't work. We rely completely
on my salary as a college teacher primarily, and as
a secondary source, my salary as a yoga teacher. I
consider my marriage to Victoria to be generally happy. However,
she kind of is disrespectful to me. I think we're

(21:47):
a I think we're about to open a can of worms.

Speaker 4 (21:51):
I think she's got a degradation.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
Oh yes, yes. Remember in the first few moments of
for Christmases, that movie Christmases?

Speaker 4 (22:00):
What's that?

Speaker 6 (22:00):
Anyways, there's a couple role playing this it's very early,
not spoiling anything, and this one's like, gee, says really
mean things and the guy snaps.

Speaker 1 (22:07):
Back, shut up witch, and she's like and then they
go home together.

Speaker 3 (22:13):
Uh oh, and then you're like, oh, it's that's their thing.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
Yeah, yeah, so you might have to just do that.

Speaker 4 (22:18):
Yeah, maybe it's their thing.

Speaker 1 (22:20):
Maybe we're about to find out.

Speaker 3 (22:21):
In private, she's great, our spicy sleep life is completely
normal and frequent. She'll laugh, joke, and be conversational with me.
We'll just be a normal, happy, married couple outside her home,
though outside she seems to be a completely different person.
When we're out with friends, She'll often make it a
point to say I'm not a real college professor. If
it comes up in conversation, she's like, he's not a

(22:42):
real doctor. Dude, came on, and his salary is what
they're basing basing both of their livelihood.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
Off of two Ooh not cool, girl.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
Cool, come on, because my job is at a community
college and not a four year university. Or if I
tell people I'm a yo teacher, she'll make sure to
say something like he chose wearing tights over a PhD.

Speaker 4 (23:05):
I hate that?

Speaker 1 (23:06):
Why? What what are we doing here? This is just
a bully, Yeah she is.

Speaker 3 (23:11):
Though meanwhile she knows perfectly well, I can't afford to
go back to school right now to finish my doctorates
because I'm working.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
To support both of us and she doesn't earn any money.

Speaker 6 (23:22):
Girl girl, And you know Opie's a good guy because
you know he could just throw this in her face. Well,
maybe I'd go back to school to work out a
real school if you would actually.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
Pay for something.

Speaker 4 (23:34):
There's like playful ribbing that's okay between like friends or
partners and stuff where it's just like, oh, like no,
you know you did that oah blah blah blah. This
is just bullying. This is just mean and it's obviously
affecting you. It's definitely like call around on that.

Speaker 1 (23:47):
Yeah, one hundred. Also, could you never say that word again?

Speaker 4 (23:50):
Ribbing?

Speaker 1 (23:51):
Please, that's what it's called. I don't like it.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
Teasing.

Speaker 4 (23:55):
I'm sure playful banter, Banta school bunta AnyWho.

Speaker 3 (24:01):
So Opie says, it's also kind of hurtful because I
know if I said something like you shouldn't call yourself
a professional writer if no one ever wanted to buy
your articles, and also pointed out that I myself have
been published numerous times in a minor sense, she would
probably get really hurt.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
Hence why I would never say that to her.

Speaker 4 (24:19):
Yeah, if you're even thinking that you need to have
a conversation asap with her and say, hey, you're hurting
my feelings. Yes, this is bring it up.

Speaker 1 (24:30):
This is not good.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
Victoria also identifies it as a feminist in public and
says that she and other women are oppressed and being
held down by men. I don't remember ever trying to
hold her back from doing what she wants. In fact,
I encouraged her to write articles and always buy her
whatever materials and posted she asked in order to try
and get herself publish.

Speaker 4 (24:46):
Well, she's probably not talking about you.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
Yeah, he's your your conflicting Yeah.

Speaker 4 (24:51):
She's like, oh, she's always says she's oppressed by men,
but not all men. It's like, okay, she's not talking
about you.

Speaker 1 (24:58):
Any one of these things. Don't gotta be about the other.
MAA why.

Speaker 3 (25:02):
But she'll also ironically say a bunch of sexist stuff
when we're out in public with other people, often saying
I have no sense of direction since I'm a man,
that all I do is think with my wiener and
that I'm messy, that I love to eat, and she'll
pat my stomach as if I'm fat.

Speaker 4 (25:18):
The thing is like, I think she's just being mean
to you, you know, yeah, Like I like they could
have something to do with sexist her, but but I
feel like it's just like she does, like she's being
mean to you that at the end of the day,
that's the problem here, and that's not okay.

Speaker 3 (25:33):
Yes, one hundred percent my abs are ripped by the
way she's boothing you.

Speaker 4 (25:38):
She wants to like make you insecure.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
Yeah, which is dude, so completely talk to me.

Speaker 4 (25:43):
Theory she because she has no money, like she's not
bringing any in any of the money in, like she
doesn't have a job or anything. She feels less like
bad about herself and so she's trying to bring a
pee down. It's like classic me and girl like, oh
I'm insecure, so I'm gonna make other people.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
Insecure, right. I think you're right, But it's it's sad.

Speaker 4 (26:03):
It's sad, not okay.

Speaker 3 (26:04):
But if I said something even a remotely sexist, like
she loves shoes or some crap like that, she wouldn't
like it.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
She likes that's is that work.

Speaker 4 (26:12):
She likes shoes.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
One of these things is that, Like the other was using.

Speaker 4 (26:15):
The word sexist, and I don't think it means what
he thinks it means she's bullying you, And I think
she just likes shoes. If you're saying she likes shoes,
maybe she just likes shoes.

Speaker 6 (26:26):
I told her she likes shoes, or maybe I thought
it was he said, oh, you like shoes, and she
was like, stop being.

Speaker 4 (26:32):
Sex as Like if I said you like washing, Riley liked, okay,
well I don't like washing. The hold an amn like
a minute for example. Not sexist me saying, oh, Riley
likes cutting wood, chopping wood, like that's just true sexist
Riley calling me a dishwasher.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
There we go.

Speaker 6 (26:50):
Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait, I thought you
were going to call me something sexist.

Speaker 4 (26:54):
No no, no, I was showing two examples.

Speaker 6 (26:57):
No, no, no, you gotta that doesn't make any since, okay,
something sexist.

Speaker 4 (27:02):
Riley should pay for everyone's meals.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
All right, there you go take it, there, gotta love it.
Examples have been examped.

Speaker 3 (27:12):
It seems like I'm more considerate of her feelings than
she is of mine. Once we're back at our own home,
she's nice to me, telling me how much she loves
to cook for me and how great I am, and
how she's my woman and how she loves it when
I get a little rough with her, and so I
oblige in an affectionate sense. When I try to talk
to her about the hurtful thing she says, she'll act
like she has no idea what I'm talking about, or

(27:33):
accuse me of just being sensitive it quickly changed the subject,
or else she'll just start coming on to me. We'll
have spicy sleep and of course I will be distracted.
I don't know, we can trying to have a conversation
with her. Yeah, So basically when he brings it up,
sometimes she'll divert someway. One of the ways is if
he's bringing it up, she just starts coming on to him,
and my.

Speaker 4 (27:51):
Guy, you gotta you gotta like hold on, you know, Yeah,
just stays strong. Whoa stop, stop, Let's have a conversation.

Speaker 3 (28:02):
Let me tell you something, Okay, unless what we gotta do,
I don't know. We completely depend on my job to
put food on the table and a roof over our heads.
I don't think that these are things to joke about
or belittle. It kind of hurts my self esteem. Yeah,
like I'm not doing enough with my life. What can
I do to help Victoria? Realize how mean she's behaving,
how her attitude just isn't right when it comes to
the things she's saying.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
And we have an update.

Speaker 3 (28:24):
Let's answer Opeace question, Sophia, how can op tell his wife, hey,
these things hurt me?

Speaker 4 (28:29):
Well, first off, you have the conversation, and when she
tries to sidetrack you, you go stop, sit over there, but
try and do it in a not sexy way, And
so she sits over there and then you say hey, tough, tough,
like wait geez ah, and you say, hey, the comments
that you've been making about my job and about me,
I've really hurt my feelings and I don't appreciate them.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
Bingo, bingo, bango ding spot. Who is the bully or
person being mean?

Speaker 3 (28:56):
First answer was the characters in the story or named
Victorian Ope. Second one, In this story, the character Victoria
is betrayed as the bully or the person being disrespectful
and mean ports her husband.

Speaker 1 (29:05):
I'm that's opy ingas is dingusing.

Speaker 3 (29:08):
We're getting there, boys and girls, but we're also getting
into this next updates. So first of all, I can't
thank all of you enough for your encouraging, helpful advice.
I also got so many private messages that were extremely
helpful in showing me.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
That I really do need to stand up for myself.
The original post is below this update.

Speaker 3 (29:23):
I decided this morning it's a new day, Independence day,
So why not start now?

Speaker 1 (29:27):
Is OPI about to become a lot more independent?

Speaker 3 (29:31):
Hint?

Speaker 1 (29:31):
I see you?

Speaker 3 (29:32):
So an answer of some of the questions I got
asked at least a dozen times.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
Yes, she is hot, Yes.

Speaker 4 (29:38):
She's hot. It doesn't it's not relevant.

Speaker 3 (29:41):
Re readuncuously hot. She's five eleven with a body like
Gesell bunche in both a nicer face, Kyley, can you
look at that?

Speaker 4 (29:51):
And also that seems kind of insulting to Giseel?

Speaker 1 (29:53):
Oh true, Yeah, Opie keeps throwing throwing, stra does have
a nice face, that's the shocking thing. Let's see it.

Speaker 4 (30:00):
Well, I would say, like, but an even nicer face
like that, but a.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
Nice face even more yeautiful.

Speaker 4 (30:06):
Yeah he was but a nice but like if she
had a nice face, like a beautiful woman.

Speaker 3 (30:12):
Yeah, and Opie says, I myself am six three humble
brag butit okay? And yes, part of why I put
up with her behavior so long is because, yes, smashing
that is a privilege, and yes, at the time, I
was thinking with my wiener.

Speaker 4 (30:27):
So when your when your wife says, oh, he's always
thinking with his is wiener, it's true.

Speaker 3 (30:33):
Well that's because I was thinking with my wiener, says Opie.

Speaker 1 (30:37):
But anyways, here's John, you og host.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
Here.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's a
quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (30:43):
We had a brunch, just turned myself and I figured
that because you're in a crowded, popular restaurant yet at
a table for two, she wouldn't cause the scene or
yell at me. So I followed a lot of people's advice,
just held her hand and reminded her that I love
her and I'm totally in love with their respect her
and will always be on her side. But I reminded
her that she had said things in the past more
often than one or two isolated incidents where I felt

(31:03):
totally disrespected. I reminded her that I worked hard at
two jobs, keep both of us in comfort in a
nice home, and that I support her in all she
wants to do in life. I reminded her that I
have tried numerous times in the past to discuss her
disrespect with me, but she always blew me off, and
I reminded her like oh he loves reminding blinded her
that I've always supported her and.

Speaker 4 (31:20):
Spoke, yeah, she always blew you off.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
Oh God, sophieing got m ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Got him, and spoke highly of her.

Speaker 4 (31:32):
Don't always like what I have to do.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
You see what I've become because of these pies.

Speaker 3 (31:37):
And always smoke higher of her because she is my wife.
First of all, I love her, and second because I
believe every word when I say I love her, respect
her nice. I reminded her how smart she is and
she can't possibly fail to see that what she's doing
is hurtful to me.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
Yeah, okay, what's the problem.

Speaker 4 (31:53):
Well, that was a whole lot of preamble.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
We got it, We got a whole whole lot of.

Speaker 4 (31:57):
We got a butt coming out.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
Okay, I can't even lie. She really surprised. She actually
started to cry.

Speaker 3 (32:04):
Embarrassing, Sophia slipped some more silly juice. We were at
a corner table and no one could see her, so
she wasn't scared of looking.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
Bad in front of strangers or embarrassing herself.

Speaker 3 (32:17):
The waiter came up to the table a couple of
times to offer things, but I signaled him to come later.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
Sometimes wads becoming at the worst time, we really do.

Speaker 4 (32:25):
She's like, she's like crying and the water's like, can
I offer you some wine yet?

Speaker 3 (32:32):
Yeah? Have you heard about our new specials?

Speaker 4 (32:36):
No?

Speaker 1 (32:37):
I don't want to.

Speaker 3 (32:37):
She confessed she knew that she was being a witch,
she couldn't help it, that she knew as she was wrong,
and that she felt horrible, but she felt pressure to succeed.

Speaker 1 (32:45):
That she felt that.

Speaker 3 (32:46):
She's getting old and feels horrible because supposedly I'm in
my prime while she's past hers. Ridiculous by the way,
she told me, she felt guilty that I'm younger than
her but taking care of her, and that she's older
and she could be the one caring for me, and
that since she's suppose going downhill, I won't find her
attractive anymore and we'll cheat on her.

Speaker 4 (33:04):
Yeah, she's insecure and she's lashing out and taking it
out on you so that you feel more insecure. Yes,
it's classic, classic insecure relationship tactics. You make your partner
feel bad about themselves so that they by comparison, like
think you were better and like you're you. You know,
you don't even deserve them, so like why would I

(33:24):
leave them?

Speaker 1 (33:25):
And you know what, Sophia, the levels of I don't
like that are high. Bad bad bad bad.

Speaker 4 (33:32):
Talk about your insecurities. Don't take them out on your partner.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
Let's talk about it, talk about it.

Speaker 3 (33:37):
All these things, she said, made her feel really insecure,
and that she just lashed out. Was angry at me
for imaginary things I might do in some pretend future
where I stopped loving her.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
Oh man.

Speaker 3 (33:47):
She said that she felt her words hopelessly outclassed by
my accomplishments and that it hurt her self esteem to
be so reliant on me. This is the one time
I agreed with her early teasing and said being community
called teacher isn't that amazing, and that she's only thirty
three and has lots of life left and her story
isn't yet a third written.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
There were still unwritten.

Speaker 4 (34:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (34:11):
She confessed that her younger brother he's also my age,
maybe a couple of years older, also outperformed her in
school and it made her feel bad.

Speaker 4 (34:17):
Her comparison is the thief of.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
Joy, thief swiper nos swiping my joy. That is, her
parents tease her about it, and in some ways I
reminded her insecurity about being outdone by a younger sibling.
Side note, I hope she doesn't see me as a sibling. Hell,
get these washing machines out of here.

Speaker 4 (34:34):
Yeah, I know you guys are bros.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yeah come on, yeah right, nice dig.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
She explained that when we're alone together, she can be
herself and that's when she loves life best. But when
we're with other people, especially her female friends, she feels
a huge pressure to show how.

Speaker 1 (34:47):
Strong and how independent she is.

Speaker 3 (34:49):
She promised me that she would never do it again,
and that if she did that, I should immediately tell
her to knock it off.

Speaker 4 (34:55):
A great conversation.

Speaker 3 (34:56):
We are making some progress here. Gotta give it to her.
She kind of emitted every time.

Speaker 4 (35:01):
Absolutely really great. I mean, we're all human. We got bias, biases,
and insecurities, and sometimes we dike them out on other
people and it's just like all it's nice to be
with people that keep you in check. Yeah and say hey,
stop it, and then you go, oh my god, I
didn't even realize I was doing that. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 3 (35:18):
Yeah, saying the quiet part out loud can can do
some magic something.

Speaker 4 (35:21):
Yeah, like sometimes people really just don't even notice that
they're doing something.

Speaker 3 (35:26):
Very true, very true. Sophia is killing it with the
advice that I can't even lie now. She also begged me,
absolutely begged me, with handwringing and everything, not to leave
her and that she would be better and ask me
for another chance, promising not to mess up again.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
And now for the best part.

Speaker 3 (35:41):
She explained that she poked fun at my non existent
stomach fat because she was insecure about the fact that
she herself had put on a few pounds the last
month or so. She was utterly distraught that I would
think she was ugly and a would not want to
sleep with there anymore and be cheat on.

Speaker 4 (35:57):
Oh so sad, And that's her your own issues she
needs to deal with, not your problem.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
Ope, this is true, dingus bought who is cheating? Trying
to trip it up?

Speaker 3 (36:08):
Let's see question in the story there was no mention
of anyone cheating. Boom, all right, I see what you
did there. By the way, you can't trick me. There's
no way, Sophia, me Riley, we're untrickable, untrickable, and guess
what because if you haven't gone to Spotify, Apple or
iHeart searched. Okay, story time and listen to all two
thousand episodes that you can binge, I mean, NonStop content

(36:28):
to fill your work day while you're doing the dishes
whatever for your listening pleasure.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
If you want to lie, and so.

Speaker 3 (36:34):
You've listened to every episode and I don't believe you, well,
you haven't done what I just told you to do.

Speaker 4 (36:38):
It's true.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
Go look up the podcast and start listening to it. Guys.

Speaker 4 (36:41):
Oh go, don't don't make him do it. I'm I'm
gonna kill you will. This is a hostage situation.

Speaker 3 (36:49):
This is or else I will draw smiley face on
your smiley face, so you watch out. Okay, now let's
get into the last part of the story. So it
turns out she's pregnant.

Speaker 4 (37:00):
What hormones too? Also maybe, but also I think this
was kind of going on the whole time.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
Probably. Wow, that's really sexist, Sophia.

Speaker 4 (37:08):
No, it's just bodily.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
I don't know that.

Speaker 4 (37:11):
You can't, Johnny. That's just how mormones work. Man.

Speaker 6 (37:14):
So whenever I'm saying you're getting too hormonal, it's a problem.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
When have you ever said that being too hormonal. Is
it a problem though, we're about that problem?

Speaker 5 (37:21):
Oh yep, we're bros, right Riley.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
You know it comes with that. She was a sweet
and girl.

Speaker 4 (37:31):
I'm good guys.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
One free shot, one free shot.

Speaker 3 (37:36):
Oh you know, get ready world, give me a.

Speaker 1 (37:43):
So it turns out she's pregnant and I'm gonna be
a dad. She says.

Speaker 3 (37:46):
She's been irritable and judgy and a total witch lately
because of hormones. And on top of all of that,
she feared that I'd lose interest in her if I
couldn't have spicy sleep with her for several months while
he's pregnant.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
Heck, I don't mind. Well, gladly wait, she says. She'll
happily give oral in the meantime.

Speaker 3 (38:02):
There's some details for you, which is pretty awesome. So
happy ending and happy for Ama and God bless America.

Speaker 6 (38:14):
Also low key with how this guy talks besides him
being a yoga teacher. Yes, yeah, you know, someone's gonna
hate me after I say this. But she's being she's
a feminist and she's like I am independent, which is great, awesome,
but it's bothering her because she is with someone that
she's relying on. She is dependent and this guy seems
to be a very like America kind of guy.

Speaker 4 (38:33):
What because he said happy for I don't know. Yeah,
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (38:37):
He was like, I'm so totally happy to be hitting that.

Speaker 4 (38:40):
Well, I think it's because he's happy it.

Speaker 1 (38:42):
Okay, you know what.

Speaker 6 (38:43):
It didn't work, editors, take it out, keep it in,
keep it in.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
Yeah, anything else you want to share with the classroom?

Speaker 4 (38:51):
No, I just thought you had something else to share.

Speaker 1 (38:53):
I did not. I had a question for Riley. I
love that. Sobia's gona ask me you have anything else?
He just goes, ah, that's.

Speaker 4 (39:03):
The end of that story.

Speaker 3 (39:05):
Yes, that's the end of the story. And we're going
to do something crazy. When I finished counting down from three,
we're going to completely change clothes and maybe people, and
it's going to be crazy.

Speaker 1 (39:13):
Are you ready? Everyone?

Speaker 4 (39:15):
One?

Speaker 1 (39:16):
Two, three, and we're back in different clothes. Well, you
don't look at that.

Speaker 4 (39:21):
Just as we promise.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yes, let's get into it.

Speaker 4 (39:24):
My husband wants me to be a stay at home mom.
There's no way i'd agree.

Speaker 1 (39:29):
You're about to be a stay at home as gotcha?

Speaker 4 (39:31):
Oh you can say also, you should stay away.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
From me ooh, I didn't think of that.

Speaker 4 (39:37):
For anonymity, I can't go into details. But my husband,
thirty four male, has developed something in it that's well
known and it made him rich.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
Niche okay, niche industry.

Speaker 4 (39:49):
I thirty eight female, am a chef and I make
probably one one hundredth of what he does. It doesn't
matter for me, however, because I love my job.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
Wait what he makes one hundred times more than she does? Yeah,
what are you doing?

Speaker 4 (40:03):
Well, she's a chef and he's rich.

Speaker 5 (40:05):
Rich.

Speaker 4 (40:05):
Doesn't matter for me, however, because I love my job.
We have a great life together. We had our first child,
a baby girl, three years ago, and our twin boys
are nine months old. By the way, this comes from
throwingal and if you want to spend your own stories,
go to the r slash okay storytime separate it.

Speaker 1 (40:22):
So.

Speaker 4 (40:23):
I have a few months left on my maternity leave,
and with the country closing up again because of the
new omicron isn't it omnikron anyway, I started getting worried
that my workplace won't take me back. I voiced my
borries to my husband a couple of days ago, and
he just shrugged, said, not like we needed the money.

Speaker 1 (40:40):
You're completely missing the points. It's gone points.

Speaker 4 (40:47):
I was confused and told them, but I knew that
it wasn't about the money. He just shrugged. I was
a bit annoyed, to be honest, because I thought he
didn't think it a big deal that I might be
out of work. Yesterday, I was still thinking about it,
so I decided to talk to him. He was confused
and told me that I should instead be happy that
I could spend more time with my babies. And he
asked me why I insisted on working when we have

(41:08):
three small children and he made enough money for both
of us. Because she wants to have a fulfilling.

Speaker 3 (41:14):
Career, because she wants to live her life how she
wants to.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
This is silly, very silly.

Speaker 4 (41:20):
He didn't like me working four to five evenings a week,
including one to two weekends a month. I told him
that I love my job and that I'm good at it.
I've been doing it for almost twenty years now, and
the thought of not doing anything for the rest of
my life is suffocating. He was visibly upset by then,
and he accused, what is it, sorry, I was making
myself lap.

Speaker 5 (41:40):
Okay, okay, who do you want to share with your
class or okay, you find out okay.

Speaker 4 (41:47):
He was visibly upset by then, and he accused me
of loving my job more than my babies and him.
He said I could always cook at home for the family,
and if I was worried I would lose my independence,
he could transfer the same amount I earned from my
job to my private account monthly.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
This man is just dude. I don't at all, not
at all.

Speaker 4 (42:08):
You don't get anything.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
Oh, wow, you want to cook for other people and
not us.

Speaker 4 (42:12):
He's like, why are you? Yeah, why are you being
a chef for others and you can't even cook NonStop
for us?

Speaker 6 (42:18):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (42:19):
I didn't know you liked hoarding food away from your family.

Speaker 1 (42:24):
I didn't know. That's like what you were like freaking
into what am I not enough to cook for? Might
not have to cook for?

Speaker 4 (42:29):
Huh? I started crying, and he kissed and hugged me
and told me that he loved me, but he had
been thinking about this since our girl was born. He
didn't like me coming home late at night, so I
needed a choose between my job or being a family.
I was startled. Did he mean it as an ultimatum?
He did he actually wants me to be a housewife
or we go our separate way?

Speaker 1 (42:49):
Oh? Yike, no.

Speaker 6 (42:54):
More than you, dude, or a hundred times one hundred
times more than you.

Speaker 4 (42:58):
And that's just so so messed up. I mean, like,
I'm sorry. Being a stay at home parent is something
that you should agree upon as partners, not just something
that you force on someone.

Speaker 3 (43:12):
Yes, could Sophia in an alternate universe he had been like, hey, like,
would you know you staying home with the kids be
something you would enjoy?

Speaker 1 (43:20):
Is that something that fulfills you or whatever?

Speaker 3 (43:22):
That's kind of like what I would you know, Oh,
in a partner, but of course you have to live
your life.

Speaker 1 (43:26):
Is that something interested in? Is this an acceptable way?

Speaker 4 (43:29):
That is an accept to address it? That is an
acceptable way?

Speaker 1 (43:33):
But is this an acceptable way?

Speaker 4 (43:35):
Isn't an acceptable way? Not at all. I went to
my mom's place first thing this morning. She listened to
me talking and crying, but when I finished, she wasn't
indignant on my behalf like I expected. She was silent
for a while, and then she asked me to think
carefully about my next move. If we got divorced, I'd
need to think about my babies. I would never be
able to give them a life their dad is giving them,

(43:57):
and I might lose them because of it. Is it
where it to change their lives so drastically and have
them live in two separate houses? All that for a
job I worked my whole adult life, and I just
could see this as an early retirement. Many people dreamed
of this. Why couldn't I enjoy it? I wasn't expecting
my mom to say these things. She's always been this strong,
independent woman who raised us to be independent and taught

(44:19):
me to never rely one hundred percent on anyone other
than myself. Hearing her say all of that made me
question my feelings before I met her, I was totally
sure before you met your.

Speaker 5 (44:27):
Mom, Yeah, I think you're right right, good cats, good
catch my mom.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
Before I met my mom, I met my own mom.
I mean, at one point, you do meet your mom? Yeah,
consciously true? Yeah, I met my lady.

Speaker 4 (44:48):
It's my mom. Before I met up with her, I
was totally sure I was right being hurt and angry.
But now I think maybe I'm overreacting and that my
husband's request wasn't that unreasonable. But if that it's the case,
why do I feel like my heart is swollen in
my throat. Why does it feel like he made this
ultimatum because he knew he had power and he's using it.

(45:09):
Throw any suggestion or advice my way, and please be honest,
because I feel I'm wronged here and I'm having a
hard time thinking from my husband's perspective. And there is
an update. But Riley's got a question.

Speaker 6 (45:20):
Yes, more like advice. That's what we're gonna do. I'm
gonna sit, He'll be down. Hey, I'll be the stay
at home wife. But this is what I want, my
own cooking show and a babysitter. I'm not gonna stop
cooking because you want me to. And I think I
would use this for something else. Boom, use that against
some scale up and then be, you know, one hundred
ex him, have your own like you know, dog food

(45:41):
company or whatever like that one person did and that
could be you.

Speaker 4 (45:44):
No, it's it's incredibly frustrating because some people genuinely don't
want to have a job. They're like, ah, job is
just boring. I don't like it. I hate my job.
It's just some way to get money. And some people
it's a vocation, it's something that they find a lot
of like, they have a lot of passion for and
it gives them, you know, a kind of like meaning

(46:06):
in their life. And either is okay as long as
you get to make that choice. And the reason that
you're upset is because he's taking away that choice.

Speaker 3 (46:13):
Yes, he is controlling. At the end of the day,
she does not have to explain why that's what you.
Of course like communicating you know how you feel is good.
But like I say that meaning, she is one thousand
percent fully entitled to live her life the way she wants.
She's not neglecting the children, she's not doing anything bad
to the relationship. This is the husband completely controlling her

(46:36):
and she does.

Speaker 1 (46:37):
Not deserve that.

Speaker 4 (46:38):
I agree. I agree. And it's weird that your mom
is not being supportive of you.

Speaker 1 (46:43):
Yeah, dude, el mom Elle mom el freakin' mom. Bro.

Speaker 4 (46:47):
But there is an update.

Speaker 1 (46:48):
This is Cowboy.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
Sam and this is Yeehaw John, And we've lastowed in
some amazing stories for you all the Okay Storytime podcasts.
But before that we got to wrangle a quick little
tom minute out break from those bucking sponsors.

Speaker 2 (47:02):
We bucking love so much, and they paid us the
bucks to help this show stay alive.

Speaker 4 (47:06):
Oh boie, I don't work four to five days plus weekends.
I work thirty five to forty five hours a week
in total, and sometimes it's during the weekend. That is
already such a small amount of hours. So it's clearly
like not the case at all that OPI is neglecting
her kids.

Speaker 3 (47:23):
Yeah, and again, even if it is more, it's like, listen,
you got a bajillion dollars like this is. Don't you
want to see your wife happy and explore what she
enjoys in her.

Speaker 4 (47:32):
Life exactly, But the fact that like, yeah, I mean,
even if it was more, yeah, I'm in fact that
it's this amount, and he's still complaining and saying, oh,
I want an ultimatum. You know that you can't do
this anymore. Staying at home as a mom isn't normal.
In my country. Daycare is free and we don't have
a nanny. I'm saying this because I want you to
understand why I was taken aback by this whole situation.

(47:52):
I'm not trying to be disrespectful to stay at home mom's.
You can't get so custodied just because of his wealth
or because of my work hours. It doesn't work like this,
yere thank goodness. But I'm thankful for those who express
to worry about that, because I know that is a
sad reality in other parts of the world. So to
the updates, I have had long talks with my husband
about all that happened, trying to understand his point of view.

(48:12):
I have told him that I can't see myself as
a housewife ever, but that I am willing to start
looking for jobs with better hours, or that I can
finally start my own restaurant. I mean, yeah, if I
was this husband, I'd be like, oh, my wife wants
to be a chef. I'm going to buy you a restaurant. Yes, like,
use all that money that you got, let her be
a cook full time man, Because.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
You know what, so, if you're not buying a restaurant,
you're buying your partners some happiness.

Speaker 4 (48:38):
Not that you're going to say you're buying your partner's.

Speaker 1 (48:40):
Love, incorrect.

Speaker 4 (48:42):
I could start searching for a location in office buildings
and set up a lunch spot so then I don't
need to work evenings and weekends. He didn't seem happy
at all with that suggestion. He asked me why I'm
so insistent on going back to work. He said these
last months have been the happiest of his life, coming
home from work every day to his family, and that
he thought I was happy too.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
Did you literally like, oh this is this is what
you did?

Speaker 3 (49:05):
This is oh yeah, yeah, this dude, this is this
is drinking so much silly juice the other day.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
She got so silly and kooky. It was crazy.

Speaker 4 (49:13):
It was just weird.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
I thought I put it on you, though.

Speaker 4 (49:16):
I was really confused. I am. I love being with
my babies all day. But just because I'm enjoying my
maternity leave doesn't mean I don't want to go back
to work. In fact, I'm enjoying every minute now because
I know it's not permanent. We had a row. He
said He's always felt that I'm scared of him making
much more money and that I'm scared of being dependent
on him. So if I'm insisting on working because I

(49:38):
don't want to be a dependent, he could pay me
ten times what I earned to stay home.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
So out of not getting it, he is not getting it.

Speaker 4 (49:47):
I started crying and told him I'm not going to
be a housewife, and I don't accept ultimatums, so he
should do what he feels is fit. Yes, he said
he's tired of going around feeling that his wife is
intimidated by a six And why are you intimidated by
your wife having a career.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
Yes, he's doing this for both of us.

Speaker 4 (50:06):
I have to admit that I'm sometimes scared of him
having more power than me. I mean, but that's exactly
what he's doing. Yeah, he's asserting his power. Yeah, he said,
it's all in my head. But really, would he ever
dared to ask me to quit my job if he
didn't feel he had the power to do it? Could
I ask him to quit his job with the same ease.
There's no denying the power dynamics in our relationship, and

(50:27):
I have every right to be scared of it. So
there was no progress, really, And no matter how much
I explain myself, he doesn't seem to understand me, and
probably he feels the same way about me. It feels
like we're on different levels. I have suggested counseling.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
Good.

Speaker 4 (50:41):
Definitely need it, he said, I'll think about it now.
We're just civil to each other, but we don't talk
much and we haven't been intimate since I first brought
up going back to work. I love him and miss him.
I don't want it to end, but the ball is
in his court now. My mom is very angry with me.
We haven't spoken for a week. I don't know what
to do with her either. I wonder if she was
involved in that conversation, you know, like if maybe the

(51:04):
husband had.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
Talked to her like plotting together kind of totally could
be yeah.

Speaker 4 (51:08):
Because it seems like op he thinks for her mom.
It's really out of character. So I don't know, Uh,
I know her off hmmm. He's like, hey, I'll pay
you to stay home if you get your daughter to
stay home.

Speaker 1 (51:24):
How about how would you like to retire for five
human lives?

Speaker 6 (51:28):
Mother?

Speaker 4 (51:29):
In a long time?

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Five human lives.

Speaker 4 (51:31):
You're retired every reincarnation exactly. Pretty nice, trust fun baby
Day two. Thank you everyone for the support. I won't
be able to make any more updates because you're only
allowed one. This, however, is not a big update, so
I thought I could just add it here. My husband
and I talked yesterday for the first time in two weeks,

(51:52):
and he was the one who initiated the conversation. Y'all
haven't talked in two weeks. You'll have kids and you
haven't talked in two weeks. How How I.

Speaker 3 (52:02):
Was communicate like, you know, just like Okay, baby needs food.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
Yeah, that's it. I bet you she's taking care of
the kid.

Speaker 4 (52:09):
Probably.

Speaker 3 (52:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (52:10):
He's probably not even doing.

Speaker 3 (52:11):
Anything and he's running around just typing on a computer
like oh on my tea, Oh I made a hundred times.

Speaker 1 (52:17):
What do you make? Yeah, that's what he's doing.

Speaker 4 (52:19):
He's very seems like he is very thinks very highly
of himself.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
Ooh yes.

Speaker 4 (52:24):
I told him that while I'm enjoying my maternity leave,
the thought of it being the rest of my life
suffocates me. I suffer from severe claustrophobia. I don't know
if it has anything to do with this. I asked
him why he's doing this. He knew my job was
important to me, so why was he making this impossible
request when he knew it would mean the end of us.
If you're having second thoughts about our marriage and want

(52:45):
it out, please just tell me the truth. He became
very upset and accused me of trying to gaslight him.
He said his reasons are legit, and there's nothing wrong
with wanting his wife to be there for her family.
He also said the children won't stop needing me just
because they go to school. Started crying. Sorry, I'm a
cry baby, and I told him if this is over,
he should know it's all on him. He started yelling, no,

(53:07):
because you're too stubborn and too self involved to actually
take a second then think about my wishes. I wanted
to leave because I couldn't be with him anymore, but
he said that it would be more convenient if he did.
He's moved to our city apartment. Y'all have a city apartment.

Speaker 1 (53:20):
He has a city apartment. How often is he staying there?

Speaker 4 (53:23):
And who else is staying there?

Speaker 1 (53:24):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (53:25):
Riley, he did this comment earlier from a Yaghura cheating Yeah.

Speaker 4 (53:28):
I think I think that's a high likelihood.

Speaker 3 (53:32):
Yes, He's like, why won't you consider my ones and
needs of like having you like around so I could
go to my.

Speaker 4 (53:39):
City Permont and cheat? What you would tell I want?
I just want you to watch the kids all the
time so that I can check out of this family.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
Why won't you let me do it?

Speaker 4 (53:48):
I feel so lost and hurt. I love him so much,
but I don't think continuing this relationship is healthy for
either of us. My heart is breaking for my children.
I don't know what to do. For now, I will
just sit tight and wait for him to send me
the horse papers. Thank you again for the help and advice.
It helped a lot. PS. My mom was here yesterday.
We talked a lot, and she's finally getting on my side. Good.

(54:09):
I knew that when it came to it, she would
be on my side, and I'm grateful. And there is
a third update. Despite what OPI said about only be
a being able to post once, it.

Speaker 1 (54:17):
Was lies, but good lies because we get to see
what happens.

Speaker 4 (54:20):
That's true. Any thoughts before we get into this final update.

Speaker 3 (54:23):
I would counter divorce. I don't know, like, I don't
know what the legal proceeding is.

Speaker 4 (54:28):
I raise you one divorce.

Speaker 3 (54:30):
I did recently hear a story where two people were
divorced and trying to serve each other.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
Because it's like, so if she likes.

Speaker 3 (54:37):
At first or serves him or like, I don't know
exactly how it works, but like I would look into
seeing if that would help, would would help because then,
I mean, bro is loaded, Like, in my opinion, you
helped raise his children. He has plenty of money. Get
that get that money for your dream lunch restaurant.

Speaker 4 (54:55):
Yeah, Cale von Combon has what like I was thinking saying,
I sure hope they don't have a prina. I'm wondering
when he became uber wealthy, you know, because if he
made this thing post marriage, then they might not have
a prenup. Yeah, but he did it pre marriage, ma'am
a prenup.

Speaker 3 (55:11):
Yeah, which also too is like he's initiating the divorce.
So if they don't, I would guess maybe they do
have a prenup because he's like, oh, I'm good, the
prenup is airtime.

Speaker 4 (55:22):
Yeah, don't care.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
Oh boy, Well let's see what actually is the truth.

Speaker 4 (55:28):
Update three, we're separating. Thank you everyone for the supports.
My husband and I are separating. This is what he wants.
As I suspected, this was more than just me going
back to work. He's been feeling resentment towards a lot
of things about me. Many of them I can't change,
and the rest I don't want to change. It's not
his or my fault. We're just not compatible with each
other anymore. By the way, you're compatible with us. If

(55:51):
you listen to full episodes of stories just like this.
Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search
a Pocus story time. But there is a little bit
left to the story.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
Any final thoughts, John, I mean very glad that Ope
will now be free to live her life as she wants,
as she deserves, as any person deserves. I just hope
that she gets a little bit of this one hundred
x salary money.

Speaker 4 (56:16):
Yeah, I mean, at the very least she should get
some good child support definitely. Yeah, yeah, but no. Yeah,
It's just like knowing that if someone is asking you
to do, like being a stay at home mom is
very worthy, very worthy vocation. But if someone is forcing
you to do that and you don't want to, uh,
take a look at that relationship and see.

Speaker 1 (56:36):
Whether or not you're being controlled indeed.

Speaker 4 (56:38):
Or attempted be controlled. But there's a little bit left.
I still have fourteen months with my babies. Afterwards, all
children are big enough for shared custody. I'm staying in
the big house for now, but after the divorce, I'm
going to move back to the city. I have been
talking to my boss about my job. She will help
me find a schedule around having the kids. So maybe
I will work lunch hours the weeks I have them.

(56:59):
My ambition is to still open my business, but maybe
a bit further in the future. I still love him.
I thought we were inseparable, but when he started resenting
the very same things he loved about me, I knew
this was hopeless. It sucks big time and it hurts sly,
like hech, but here we are, and that's the end
of that house. That's it what I said, that's the
end of that house.

Speaker 1 (57:19):
You did?

Speaker 4 (57:20):
Why did I say that?

Speaker 3 (57:20):
I guess it's like that household is I honestly I
was like, okay, slightly odd and rummage, but you know,
it's still like their house is, you know, now separated whatever,
like split.

Speaker 1 (57:31):
Home or whatever.

Speaker 4 (57:32):
The end of dead line, I meant to say, that's
the end of that story.

Speaker 3 (57:34):
Oh and the end of this episode. There's there's no
more snapping in new future versions of Sophia, O'Reilly and
John popping up out of nowhere. It's just it's just
actually over done done zone.

Speaker 1 (57:46):
No, I want to update. Let me see if there
is an update.

Speaker 4 (57:49):
Oh no, I was gonna say. Opie's husband has this
very I think he's falling into the trap of sometimes
men can put women on this kind of not pedestal,
but they can be obsessed with this one facet of
a woman, like very independent, or she's like like, for example,
like she's at the club and they're like, oh my god,

(58:10):
they're so cool. She's at the club, and then when
they get in a relationship with her, they're like, why
is she at the club dancing? Yeah, but that's inappropriate.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
I don't like her. You met her, it's like, isn't
it the thing you wanted from me in the first place?

Speaker 4 (58:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (58:23):
Yeah. User has deleted their account.

Speaker 4 (58:26):
Well then that's that. Folks.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
There we go. So if you love us, make sure
subscribe

Speaker 4 (58:31):
We love you and see it tomorrow.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My husband wants to OPEN our marriage… I’m considering divorce! | Reddit Stories | EP2117