My in-laws are involved in a CULT and are now moving to Nigeria!| Reddit Stories | EP2340 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are
the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts and.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
We have some foundational stories coming up for you.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
But the thing is this foundation needs a little support
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get into the episode.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
My in laws are involved in a cult and are
now moving to Nigeria. God wills it, and there is
a trigger warning for religious manipulation and cult like practices.
My wife's parents and two sisters have often been more
prominent in our lives than my side of the family,
especially since our son was born. In twenty sixteen. My
mother in law was fighting cancer while my wife was pregnant,

(00:38):
which included her doing chemo in the early months of
his life. During all of this, she was there helping
and loving him, saying her goal was just to be
as Nana. By the way, this comes from here, Hold this,
and if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay Storytime Separated it. I'm Sophia, I'm.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Riley, I'm Keon.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
And we're here to give good advice. Goofley. But we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we
do do, so let us know what you would do
in the comments, and OP says. Right after my son
was born, my father in law began to experience heart
issues and had to undergo emergency heart surgery. Oh my gosh,
that's a lot going on for eupe. He was essentially

(01:18):
a cheeseburger from passing. Huh oh, because he had like
he had heart issues from probably eating unhealthily, so he
was going to have a heart attack from not eating.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
Dude. I thought this was like.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
I thought that was a new metric system.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
I thought it was like a vegetable thing when people
are called that. Oh oh, I was like ches.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
I thought they were just using cheeseburger as a metric.
During recovering, my wife would bring our week's old son
to see him in the hospital. My father in law
only wanted to see two people, his own father and Greg.
Greg is my sister in law and brother in law's pastor.
He met my parents in law at my sister in
law's wedding a year before. At the roversal dinner, my
wife and I were sat at a step table while

(02:00):
Greg was sat with the rest of the immediate family
at the main table. At the time, this bothered me,
and in hindsight it was the writing on the wall.
Greg was obsessed with them. He wanted nothing more than
to get them to go to his new church, which
was held in his father's house. Oh despite his efforts
to gain favor with the parents, he never said a

(02:21):
word passed introduction to my wife and me. Mmmmm. My
sister in law and brother in law met at a
church that Greg split off from to create his church.
Oh so Greg. Greg left his church and was like,
I'm starting something new, guys, It's gonna be crazy, and
everyone has to pay me one hundred dollars a month.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
Money, money, money. My parents were involved in a pastor
doing some sketchy things behind the scenes, not good. He
was sorry. They were not. They just saw it happened.
They did not help him.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
My parents were involved in the sketchy stuff with them.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
No, no, no.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
He was the youth pastor, so majority of his congregation
was under twenty five. The church members constituted a majority
of the wedding party, and Greg married them. Presumably he
didn't marry them, he was. He wore snake skin cowboy boots,
which I will never get over post heart surgery. My
father in law was never the same. He'd always been

(03:16):
the most quiet, conscientious man I had ever met. Now
he was dancing, laughing, and talking more than I had
seen him do in five plus years. Whoa. This, of course,
was associated with a heavy interest in making it to
every church event. My mother in law went with him,
having just experienced a face to face encounter with her
mortality as well. It started off simple, complete with all

(03:38):
of a non denominational church's charms and tropes, something I
had experienced multiple times throughout my childhood. My wife and
her youngest sister went a couple of times to test
the waters and concluded that although the people were nice,
it just wasn't for them. Okay, but when you attend
the church and then don't come back, you get a
Facebook message from the pastor's wife asking where you are

(04:00):
and telling you how much they missed you.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
That could be sweet. We miss you, come out, we
miss you, or we missed having you great? Where were you?

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah? Why couldn't you make it? The youngest sister would
get this message every week, accompanied by father in law
constantly pressing her to come with them. Because she still
lived with them at the time. It creeped her ound
and she would only go occasionally to lessen the pressure.
I was personally never invited, which always confused me. A
hallmark of non denominational Christian churches is the supposed widespread

(04:32):
appeal to non believers, which creates an imperative to bring
as many guests as possible, especially the most lost people.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
You know, it is a very evangelist evangelist evangelist based church.
A lot of Yeah, that's kind of like their whole thing.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
It was never a foregone conclusion that anyone was a
wasted cause, except apparently for me and to a lesser degree,
my wife. My son would go with Nana and Grandpa
to church every Sunday while my wife and I worked.
One day, my wife's youngest sister appropriately was freaked out
about something that had been going on at the church.
I honestly would not allow my child to go to

(05:10):
a church that I hadn't gone to. Yeah, agreed, I
think that you should know what's going on in that
church and what they're teaching. Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
Also, I've never seen the word pray at all in
this story. No one has prayed a single word.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
All of the congregation purportedly has gifts prophecy.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
Oh oh okay, like powers.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
Prophecy through God speaking directly, healing, interpretation, prophetic dreaming, exorcism, prayer,
speaking in tongues, et cetera. One guy just knows like
a couple of languages, and he's like, whoa he knows Latin, guy, yea,
he knows Latin speaking in tongues thing, Yeah, oh yeah,
I've seen that have But it seems like they're all

(05:52):
like everyone gets a power. And this one guy who's
already I'm just saying he probably already.

Speaker 4 (05:57):
Knows Sarcel tongue.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
What is well?

Speaker 4 (06:01):
Dog, what is that?

Speaker 2 (06:02):
The tongues thing? I've seen it happen before, and like
there's literally no one knows what language it is. Well,
but then it's not even a mix of language. It's
just like no one knows what it is.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
But then, is that just not speaking gibberish? You could
you could compare it to that, Like if I just
started going, would that not be like.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
I'm just gonna get vulnerable here?

Speaker 4 (06:20):
This guy spitting facts, this guy spitting stuff easy.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
At one point I was praying and I did speak
in tongues. I spoke something, don't know what it was.
It did not feel like it was through me. But
I spect something that was not English, but it felt
like the right thing. It just it felt like it
was the right thing to say in the moment, but
it wasn't like actual words, if that makes sense.

Speaker 4 (06:41):
I don't know, as two people who went to Catholic
school in this room.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
No, it was very I was very I was like,
what just happened to me? I was very freaked out
by it too, But it took a little bit for me.
But the problem that I have with this story not
the gifts. It's just like I can see the manipulation
from a mile away.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
That's about well, yeah, very clear me.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
But that that's me. Lab take with that what you want.

Speaker 4 (07:04):
I'm scared now.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
You don't have to, you know, just take with that
what you want.

Speaker 4 (07:07):
Scared now. And I'm the guy with ghosts. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
These concepts really aren't uncommon to these kinds of churches.
The girl who can astral project had a spiritual encounter
with a few witches in a coven in a nearby town.

Speaker 4 (07:19):
What is what?

Speaker 2 (07:20):
Actually? What is that? What does astral project?

Speaker 3 (07:23):
It's like when you have your spirit go somewhere else
to the spirit like this, it's like, if I'm here,
I could spiritually be at your house.

Speaker 4 (07:33):
Project, which is actually that's a very like a very
big thing, and especially since they said Nigeria, it's a
very big thing, and like.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
Yeah, in different cultures you can have that, okay, or
that's like a thing. She helped all of them find
Christ while commuting with them in the spirit realm. It
was later revealed to her that the other members of
the coven found out and unlived them.

Speaker 4 (07:53):
Well, what is this story? This is a this is
a gnarly story.

Speaker 3 (07:57):
What you read that correctly?

Speaker 2 (07:59):
No?

Speaker 4 (08:00):
I didn't. Could you read that one more time? Is?

Speaker 2 (08:02):
Where is it? Is this happening in? Like is this
happening in Nigeria?

Speaker 3 (08:08):
But I don't think they've left in Nigeria yet. Where
it seems like what we have so far is this girl,
one of the girls in the church who has the
power to astral project supposedly found a couple of witches
in a spiritual encounter. Yeah, she found a coven and
helped some of those witches find Christ, and then the

(08:28):
other witches in the coven unlive them.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
I feel like I'm reading the New the Old Testament
right now.

Speaker 3 (08:34):
Okay, what ah boy, Greg, instead of stopping this insanity
in its tracks, decided to run with it.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
Oh dude, Okay, So.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
I also don't even believe that that happened. Okay, do
we have any proof that anyone has passed away?

Speaker 2 (08:49):
That guy said, Yeah, She's like, what happened?

Speaker 3 (08:51):
I was spiritually there and I could feel their souls
leaving their bodies. No one's met these witches, you faith?
She literally it seems like she had a dream about witches.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Perhaps. Also, if you are a Christian and you actually
love God and Jesus, the second something like that happens,
you stop it. You say we're going to the police,
We're taking consequences. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:15):
Yeah, and you actually think that someone has been unalived? Yeah,
says there's death in this story. I don't think this
is true. She is lying. This is when the church
began to have their weekly gift meetings and spiritual warfare
became central.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
To be clear, she has not actually witnessed an unaliving.
She saw it in her spirit realm. To be clear,
in her mind's eye, they would request to burn items
containing pagan imagery they found in our house while babysitting.
God also told Greg to make my father in law
an elder in the church. Since they were spending so

(09:54):
much time at church, my in laws began to become
more neglectful to their dogs.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
Gonna, I'm gonna, I have to interviewing again my pastor
back in Tennessee. And I love dearly and I find
him to be an actual man of God, and I'm
so called. He's actually a man of God. Always goes
to see his dog. He actually leaves Evince early. There
so many times. Yeah, I gotta go take their backs.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
He's halfway through, he's halfway through the de sermony. He's
like my dog. To take care of your dog.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
He's like, I gotta go check on him real quick.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
In doing so, the younger dog began to lash out
and misbehave. Why did my father in law think this
was happening? She was possessed by a demon. Of course,
I immediately began to notice these kinds of assumptions were
being made about our immediate family. Any counterpoints I offered
about witches and demons were just confirmation that, in my agnosticism,

(10:46):
I was a tool of doubt for the enemy. Tool
of doubt the enemy, who's the enemy?

Speaker 4 (10:52):
Non believers.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
Dude, I have I have a soapbox to go on.
Let me know when you're ready.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
Okay, we get to the open. At this point, we
felt uncoed comfortable letting our son go with them on Sundays,
which coincided with my mother in law letting on that
watching my son at church was getting in the way
for experience. She's like, I actually I'd be you know,
more than happy for your son to not come anymore.
That because we're going Caoreese.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
That also shows you that these people it's more of
a cult than actually following Jesus because.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
They're not even trying to evangelize the sun anymore. They're
not because they've got prime real estate with a young kid.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yeah, they always say the youth of tomorrow is the
youth of to like is the future of today. Like
you have to you know, invest in them and want
them to be invest If you're saying I don't want
to worship with your kid anymore.

Speaker 3 (11:38):
I mean it makes you things easier for you because
you're able to get them out of there good. But
that is again, don't let your kids just you know,
go anywhere without checking on where they're going.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
At least check the church website at least do that.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
I honestly personally would not. I wouldn't mind if if
we're going to like church on a Christmas I'm no
longer religious. But if, like my not a parent, my
dad was like, hey, like, can we take the kids
to church on Christmas or whatever? I'd like that because
I know, you know, the church might know my parents
blah blah blah. But this is if I didn't know
the church, I'd be like, can I let me check

(12:15):
it out first? I want to see what they're teaching here?

Speaker 4 (12:18):
You walk into this. Can you imagine?

Speaker 3 (12:20):
The youngest sister met a boy at the youth group.
She had never had a boyfriend, despite being one of
the most amazing girls I know. So she began going
to the church to see the boy every chance she got.
Almost immediately, we went from hanging out with her every
day to only seeing her in passing. Seemingly overnight, she
had an entirely new group of friends. We were completely
socially alienated as far as recreational time was concerned. They

(12:44):
always made cordial. We were invited to all family events.
My mother in law babysat our son every day for
a few hours overlapping with our shifts, and occasionally the
sister would watch him so mother in law could prepare
for the Tuesday night church meeting. Other than these three things,
all others spare time was dedicated wholly to the church,
despite the fact that we rent a house across the

(13:04):
street from them. Yeah wow, you guys are right next
to them and they're just not even home ever.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
Which is also crazy because another thing that the Bible
says is to rest.

Speaker 3 (13:14):
It's chi they're never resting.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
And if you're not resting making a church because like
churches do they you got your small groups, you got
your events, you got your like you know, if they're
not in the actual church. I've been a part of
churches where we're not in We're like in a school
gym and we have to set up and de set
up chairs and like it's like a whole It takes
a lot of time out. And so if you're if
they're like an elder of a church, I know that

(13:37):
pastor is using vulner in law so much.

Speaker 3 (13:39):
Oh yeah, la, I mean the thing is that father
in law and mother in law were in an incredibly
vulnerable state because they went through you know this moment
where they thought that they were going to pass away,
or at least the father in law thought he was
going to pass away. And so when you're in that
vulnerable state, it's really easy for people to pray on you,
especially with religious you know.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
The children and elder.

Speaker 3 (14:01):
This period was riddled with rumors of exorcisms in the
basement of the church. My in laws let a young
girl move in with them who was apparently spicy, sleepily
active with her boyfriend. The church tried to exercise her
and failed, resulting in her being excommunicated. She had a
Jezebel spirit. We eventually ran into her brother, who also attended,

(14:22):
while he was working a local warmart. He looked worried
when he saw us and begged us not to tell
anyone where he was.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
This is Gary, you can't even work a job, eh, Gary.

Speaker 3 (14:32):
It was prophesied that my sister in law and her
husband would adopt from Nigeria, to the point they even
had a specific boy picked out in the prophecy. Eventually,
this led them to traveling there to meet him in
the form of a missions trip. You're trying to kidnap
a boy from Nigeria while in Nigeria. They held a
massive revival ceremony where supposedly thousands of Nigerians gathered to

(14:55):
hear the Americans speak. Okay, feels super weird.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
I have like my pastor's done like revivals where he
goes to like another country and like, yes speaks.

Speaker 3 (15:05):
I don't trust these guys.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
Yeah. No, my brother in.

Speaker 3 (15:08):
Law told me he healed a blind man while he
was there. Oh my, okay, believe you dude, You're not Jesus.
They got to meet the boy they were supposed to
adopt and found out it wasn't easy for an American
to adopt from Nigeria, as it requires a minimum of
one year residency in the country. They made connections. Yeah,
you can just steal this little boy.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
And guess what if the big man above actually wanted
you to happen, he would have aligned it to happen. Like,
there's a friend of mine. He's from the Ukraine, and
it was a very minimal chance of him coming to
Ukraine because he was very young male. And they were like,
your visa's probably not gonna happen. But like they prayed,
drive right again, and he came to America and made
it happen, like God right away. This just feels like
people are forcing so many things to happen.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
It's striving me that they made connections with local pastors
and set the groundwork for a return. Shortly after returning
to the US, they found out they were pregnant with
a child of their own. They gave birth to my
beautiful nephew, and, at least verbally to me and my
wife lost interest in adoption. No wait, you're in laws
just had a kid.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
I think brother in law.

Speaker 3 (16:11):
Suits Oh okay, okay, because they yeah, yeah, right, right right, you.

Speaker 2 (16:14):
Can't tell as Americans, you can't tell this kid we're
gonna take you home.

Speaker 3 (16:19):
Well, I don't even think they could take them. I
think they were like, we want that kid, and yeah,
Nigeria adoption agency was like no, no, and they were like, well,
jokes on you, because we are having a kid ourselves.
And they were like, okay, I.

Speaker 2 (16:31):
Feel bad for the boy.

Speaker 3 (16:32):
It's probably I don't even know if they like that
went anywhere though, you know.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
But they picked them out and the boy was probably like,
oh my gosh, yay.

Speaker 3 (16:41):
Eventually, my wife's youngest sister found out the boy from
the church. She was dating was a total d bag,
laying the field with all the church girls. Did he
get an exorcism? After they broke up, she still remained
fully dedicated to the church. She ended up moving out
of her parents' house in an apartment with a girl
in the congregation. This girl would now be an intent
and it's at all of our future family holiday gatherings.

(17:02):
Regardless of my objections, my parents in law were now
spending more time at church than at home, and due
to our reaction to the witch saga, they were all
now keeping church details secret from us. At one point,
it came out that my mother in law had been
saying she loves God more than her grandson. The church
family had also been elevated higher than worldly family. As

(17:22):
it about christian this is something more or less commanded
of you. I was well aware of this concept, but
had never experienced it firsthand. I had especially never thought
I'd see a child of mine be depreciated by it.
She went from using the prospect of being nana to
my son to survive cancer to favoring her church family
and God over that very same grandson in the span

(17:44):
of a little over two years. So when she was
trying to like fight cancer. She was like, you know,
I'm going to use my grandson to get through this.
And then and then it's like.

Speaker 2 (17:52):
I don't really see me like I do love God,
you know, it's like, is like God family than this,
But like God doesn't say don't take your grandson to church.

Speaker 3 (18:01):
You love me only it just feels like.

Speaker 4 (18:04):
Or abandon them.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
Yeah, like this is just it does not add up
at all.

Speaker 3 (18:10):
Around this same time, she quit her nursing career abruptly.
At this point, I began to watch sermons from their
church Facebook page to see if my concerns were true
that Greg is a manipulator. In the opening of the sermon,
Greg says something to the effect of Lord, may only
your words come through me.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
No, dude, you're literally like, ah, he's the voice of God. Guys,
you're like, you know, you just come here. Whatever. It
didn't really mean anything. I am the voice of truth.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
I mean, he says, he healed the blind person. In
saying this, he is speaking for God. In the most
recent sermon, Greg was praising two church members who had
listened to God and quit their jobs for whatever his
plan may be. No one of them being my mother
in law. Oh, Greg has a way of indirectly speaking
directly to people. Some of you haven't been called to
this yet or were you just not listening? As I watched,

(18:59):
I found out Greg had just returned from an independent
trip to Nigeria where he met with a governor and
a few pastors. He revealed the governor was going to
give the church a large plot of land to build
the Christian Compound for youth and ministry, and that all
of the Nigerian prophecy was coming into fruition. This is
so ichy. I hate this.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
What are they smuggling?

Speaker 3 (19:20):
Mind you, years of ties later, this service is still
being held in a house. When I talked to my
wife about this, she let me know about an older
prophecy given to Greg that she heard in the early years.
Greg and the church were going to own a large
portion of their local town and it would be a
factory of disciples. This is the church's ultimate goal. Oh
my goodness, no.

Speaker 4 (19:40):
This is a crazy story.

Speaker 3 (19:42):
We started to realize that my in laws were planning
to go on a trip to Nigeria with the church.

Speaker 2 (19:47):
They're not coming back.

Speaker 3 (19:48):
We had to confront them and force them to admit
it to us. Even the sisters were complicit in obstructing
the truth. They were going to wait until the last
minute to tell us. Early this April, they went with
eleven other people from the church, most of them under
twenty five. In fact, one girl got kicked out of
her house for insisting on going and had been living
with my parents in law. They were so welcome by

(20:10):
the government that they stayed in the governor's mansion, had
armed bodyguards, and were invited to meet the King of Nigeria,
who is a Christian. It is worth noting that Nigeria
is about fifty to fifty Muslim and Christian. The king
and some governors are Christian, while the democratically elected president
is Muslim. This sounds so icky, y'all. They're literally trying

(20:32):
to like collude with They're trying to collude with this,
you know, church group to try and take over.

Speaker 4 (20:40):
Gathering their soldiers. Yeah, they're gathering their numbers.

Speaker 3 (20:44):
They visited an orphanage, a market, a refugee camp, and
the church's gifted land to anoint it healing people. Along
the way. In the market, they all had separate prayer
lines of hundreds of people lining up to be prayed
for by the American Church. My mother in law told
me people had deemed resisting within them, laying down, screaming,
and spasming. Even as a nurse, Rabies was no longer

(21:06):
a possible diagnosis in her mind. They safely returned, but
were that much more devoted to the cause. We have
suspicions that my mother in law is now the pastor's
wife's assistant, but she hasn't told us. Every time I've
seen my father in law since he's been in his
official church polo. Last Sunday, they told us that they
planned to move to Nigeria in October for a minimum

(21:27):
of a year, the length of time dictated by Greg
to lay the groundwork for the project with two other couples.
One of the couples is my sister and brother in law,
along with my nine month old nephew. No. I was
finally completely forthcoming with them about what I've seen from
the church, and my mother in law finally said it
to my face, she loves God more than my son.

(21:48):
My father in law continuously tried to use coincidences regarding
his health problems as justification for their steadfastness, even citing
a low hanging fruit prophecy about the girl a church
shared about him surviving his heart complications to serve the
future ministry.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
This is such a hard story to hear for like
for me to hear.

Speaker 3 (22:08):
Because they suck. These people are so deep into their
cult and so deeply manipulated.

Speaker 2 (22:13):
It sucks because I know people that have gone out
helped plant churches in different like you know, countries, and
you know, prayed and like had like spiritual healing and
all this stuff. But just the way this church is
going about it, it's just it. I don't even know
what to say. It just feels very wrong.

Speaker 4 (22:33):
I just want to know their ultimate goal.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
Well, they said they would just want to take over
the town, basically.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
Take over Nigeria. Dude, they got the president and the
king sive of things.

Speaker 3 (22:44):
Oh my gosh, I just found out this morning. The
youngest sister is waiting for God to tell her to
go too. My consolation during this conversation was a promise
they will come to visit often. I doubt it because
they still have elder duties in the church that is
their primary to return as opposed to seeing her grandson
grow up. I honestly feel like you need to cut

(23:05):
contact or you know, you already have limited contact. But
I feel like as they go down this road, I
think it. I don't think this is you know, is
the relationship that you can keep having. Over the past
few days, we've done a lot of research on the
religious violence going on in Nigeria while watching the latest
sermons on Facebook. In the latest sermon, the word Nigeria
was central on the TV behind the pulpit. It was

(23:27):
rife with specifically vague inferences of personal duty to the cause,
de elevation of earthly family, and a strong delivery of
the claim of how important their church family is. We
found out they're not just getting land, They're getting one
of the biggest plots of land in the Nigerian state.
We also found out that King adopted the girl who
was forbidden by her parents to go on the trip.

(23:49):
She is in her early twenties.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
Dude, there is some business scheme happening, and they're usually
the religious scary you know, church front to make it happen.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
The interesting thing about the Muslim on Christian violence there
is that it is primarily perpetrated by a Muslim nomadic tribe.
The land the tribe would use for livestock is rapidly
being given away by the government, causing resentment and the
possible unliving of those who live on the land. This
raises some questions. Why would the government give the Americans
one of the largest plots of land in the state.

(24:20):
There are plenty of Nigerian churches there. Why aren't they
good enough? Greg's Church is American, but they are certainly
not wealthy. What do they offer the largest growing Christian
country in the world. But there is a little bit
left to the story. Yikes.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
So here's my thought. If these people were actually Christians,
there wouldn't be like things of I love God more
than my grandson. That wouldn't be a thing because like
you know, the grandson would be great. They wouldn't be
like this guy being like I only speak for God.
There wouldn't be all these like hypocritical things. But since
they're following one guy that has a plan, makes me

(24:56):
think that there's yeah it' it's it's like a business
thing happened in Nigeria. I think when you.

Speaker 3 (25:04):
Start inventing your own aspects of Christianity and you have
one guy in power who's telling you everything that.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
You need to do, Dude, you know, and like, you know,
you're not supposed to un a lot of people. That's
not what This just feels so wrong on so many levels.
And dude, I'm gonna go in my soapbox. The biggest
reason Jesus came to Earth in my belief, was it
because you know, one of the biggest reasons was because
he was like all the people that had religious pride,

(25:32):
he was checking him, Like he talked to a lot
to the fair season was like, hey, what are you doing,
Like you're not actually loving people, going people to rules
and you need to love people more than saying you're
not worthy enough because you don't follow these rules. And
that just kind of feels like this, you know, it
feels like they're spreading business ventures rather than love.

Speaker 3 (25:49):
Absolutely, we can't change their minds. The more we argue,
the more biblically at adversarial we become in their eyes
watching the sermons ourselves. This is one hundred percent by design.
My in laws have an impressive resume of medicated ailments,
including but not limited to, heart disease, cancer, and multiple sclerosis, which,
upon research, is exasperated by heat. So they're going to Nigeria.

(26:13):
They won't have access to any expensive medications without insurance
or quality healthcare opportunities. In general. They're leaving this problem
up to God. They want to leave us their house,
which they stop taking care of years ago. The house
is an hour away from my great job. And there
is an update. Just tell them, no, what is happening.
I think this is the final update, folks. The youngest

(26:35):
sister confirmed God told her to go and that they
have been hiding their plans from us for a couple
of months at least. I also want to clarify that
my wife, our son, and I aren't the only members
of the immediate family not involved in the church. And
that's the end.

Speaker 4 (26:50):
I will check for an update, yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:52):
I mean at that point, oh pee. There Unfortunately, is
nothing you can do when people are so deeply entrenched
in this type of fanaticism.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
M hmm. They can't see reality and it's you know,
this is what God told me, and that's like the
highest authority in their minds. Yeah, and if they actually
read their Bibles rather than listen to some dude at
the pool pit, they'd know what the truth is. But
they they let the pastor do their thinking for him
instead of them actually doing their thinking. That's what that's
what I have trouble with a lot of like Christians

(27:23):
and a lot of people that claim to be Christian.
It's like, what is your actual thoughts on this? Have
you actually read it?

Speaker 3 (27:28):
Oh? A lot of times?

Speaker 2 (27:30):
No, I gotta stop myself with this. We got it?
Is this another cult story?

Speaker 4 (27:34):
I don't think so, no update on this, this story.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
It's yeah, just story seven years old.

Speaker 4 (27:39):
It's seven years old.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
Goodness, gracious hoo, yeah, goodness, wow, wow.

Speaker 3 (27:44):
Yeah. The biggest people never think that they will. You
know that they are the ones that are going to
be pulled into a cult yeah crow documentary and then
you're like, oh yeah, oh no cult.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
This whole time, my boyfriend's mother refused to let us
share a room together sleep over. My twenty three female
boyfriend twenty three male will be graduating college in a
couple of months. His mom, thirty nine female, wanted to
plan a graduation trip for him. By the way, this
comes from Throwaway forty nine twenty and if you want
to sit your own stories, go to the r slash
okay story dumb subreddit. I'm Riley, I'm Sophia, I'm Keon

(28:22):
and We're here to give good advice, goofully, but we
don't have all the answers, so let us know what
you know in the comments down below. Hope. He says
for context, my boyfriend doesn't have the best relationship with
his mom. They rarely see each other, although my boyfriend
and I live five minutes away from her. Oh man,
that's stuff. From everything he has told me, there was
a lot of bad parenting when he was a child,

(28:43):
and his whole family is low contact with her. Her
decision now to the issue. She planned a trip with
her boyfriend, his two kids, my boyfriend's sister, and obviously
my boyfriend to another country. Told my boyfriend that he
could invite me if he wanted to, but I would
have to pay for my own own expenses, which I
don't mind. She will be paying for my boyfriend's trip.

(29:04):
My boyfriend had no say and where the trip was going,
and his mother said, we are not allowed to room together. Okay.
I would be rooming with his sister fourteen female and
her boyfriend's daughters and female, while my boyfriend will be
rooming with her boyfriend's son fourteen male. We're staying in
an all inclusive resort, but I feel like I'm only
going to be there to babysit. Hmmm.

Speaker 3 (29:26):
At that point, the thing is like, she's paying stop
paying for you, so she doesn't really have a say
about what you do. But because she's paying for the
boyfriend or your boyfriend, I feel like she has some
say about what he does. Have say, Yeah, I would
you know, I think that you should just not go.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
Yeah, if there's even the hint of you babysitting, yeah,
you don't want to do that, don't go. Even my
boyfriend mentioned he was scared his mom would just force
him to babysit the kids. I'm also worried something might
happen to one of the kids if like they fall,
get her or wonder off, and I'd had be blamed
for it since it feels like she wants us to
take care of them. My boyfriend says I can pay

(30:05):
for my own room, but he doesn't think his mom
will let him room with me. I also don't want
to stay alone in a room in a foreign country,
but I know this is going to cause issues with
his mom. In the end, I told him I wouldn't
go unless we room together, but he's upset since he
wants me to go. Am I the a hole?

Speaker 3 (30:21):
No, I don't think that's it all the a hole.
I think that you've said your conditions. You said I
can't go home unless we roomed together. He says, you
can't room together, So then as you can't go, I
would to go. It's as simple as that. I think
that's that's it. There's no issues here.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
No issues done. He would you go, ha, No, no.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
Yeah, I'm going on my own trip.

Speaker 4 (30:41):
Yeah, there we go.

Speaker 3 (30:42):
If I have had it spending money, oh yeah to
go on a trip, then let's go on a trip
where I don't have to babysit and I don't have rules.

Speaker 4 (30:50):
Yeah, this is no longer a trip, you know, like
I want to enjoy my trip.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
Done here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story,
but a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
Come inyone, why don't you and your boyfriend just pay
for your own room?

Speaker 3 (31:02):
Hope?

Speaker 2 (31:02):
He says, right, this is the exact point I brought
up from what he's told me. She set on a
solid no even if him and I split the cost
for the room.

Speaker 3 (31:10):
Because then she wouldn't pay for the you know resort. Wait,
is what she's paying for.

Speaker 2 (31:15):
She's paying for the resort, the trips.

Speaker 3 (31:16):
Yeah, I'm assuming that. I'm assuming that she's paying for
extra stuff. But if she's just paying for the room
and the.

Speaker 2 (31:22):
Resort, yeah, then I think that's what it is.

Speaker 3 (31:25):
Then. Yeah, she's just saying you can't comedy.

Speaker 2 (31:28):
Two. I also don't want to stay alone in a
room in a foreign country unless you're in a really
violent or increasingly backwards and massage in this country like
the USA, normally that wouldn't be a problem. However, I
wouldn't go at all with a family like that. Hope.
He says, you're probably right about that. I've never been
to this country, and she won't tell us the name
of the resort, so I have no idea where we

(31:48):
would be staying. I'm assuming it's nice, but I'd rather
be pleasantly surprised than assuming. They've also mentioned that they
don't want to stay in the resort the whole time. Okay,
uh no, The comment says, not the a hole. Don't go,
very simple, don't go, don't negotiate. It will only turn
into more issues with his mom, and then you will
be the bad guy soon. Your boyfriend doesn't seem strong

(32:10):
enough to stand up to her, so it's very likely
you will be blamed. No need to object yourself to this.
Save your money from another vacation. Really, don't start arguing.
Simply don't go and rethink the wisdom of involvement with
a man who apparently can't separate from his mom even
though he doesn't like her. He says, yeah, this is
what I've been thinking about all day, but he doesn't

(32:31):
see it like that in his head. He has no
say since she's paying for him, and we got an
update two days later.

Speaker 3 (32:37):
Yeah, I mean, I just think it's easier if you
don't go. Oh yeah, she does have a say because
she is paying for him. It doesn't quite you know,
it doesn't quite make sense because you could You've already
talked about Oh well then why don't you know you
just pay or I just pay for your this room
and then we share it.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah. Also, I know for a fact that ope goes.
Mom's gonna find something wrong.

Speaker 3 (33:01):
Yeah, oh, you're voting your laundry like that. Yeah, you're
just gonna get criticized. You gotta be a babysitter.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
If they won't let you in the same room, you're
gonna wear a bathing suit. Yeah, I got a problem
with it.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
Don't make sense.

Speaker 2 (33:14):
Wait update two days later, do you have it? Do
you think she goes?

Speaker 3 (33:17):
I hope not for your own sake.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
This is the first update I've ever done, so I'm
hoping I'm doing this right. First of all, thank you
all for the advice. The day I posted this, I
had a conversation with my boyfriend that snowballed into the
worst fight we've ever had. I did also, I didn't
like the part where he was like, you need to
come with me.

Speaker 3 (33:35):
Yeah, where she was like, hey, like it's either we
stay in a room together and I'm not gonna go.
And he's like, no, you have to come, just baby, Yeah,
you probably will have to babysit the kids.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
It's fine, just don't. You're my happiness and you can't
you without me. He accused me of trying to convince
him not to go on the trip, which isn't something
I had ever brought up. Even said he wants to
go since it's a free trip to a country never
been to. He did end up telling me that his
mom said no to us rooming together for the following reasons.

(34:06):
One we aren't married either, are her and her boyfriend interesting? Two?
We're too young? Three because I said.

Speaker 3 (34:13):
So, See, that's that's a explanation you can't use after
like twelve.

Speaker 4 (34:20):
Yeah, I feel like once you're a full fledged adult,
like eighteen.

Speaker 3 (34:24):
Once, he certainly can't use it.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Then.

Speaker 4 (34:25):
Yeah, because I said so, is like, come.

Speaker 3 (34:28):
On, so infantilizing.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
I'm not freaking for you.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
I'm not freaking.

Speaker 4 (34:33):
Three us respond with, oh, why don't you want to go?
Because I said so?

Speaker 3 (34:38):
Because yeah, why do you need to go because I
don't want to?

Speaker 2 (34:41):
It's so good using parents' logic back on him.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
Yeah, just giving him right back their own medicine.

Speaker 2 (34:48):
I spoke to my boyfriend last night. Turns out some
of you that suggested she might be helping him with
money or correct. She took out loans to help pay
for his schooling. They're all under her name, but if
she stops paying, he feels responsible for them. I also
think she was helping him out with grocery money since
he's part time, so she's pretty much holding all of

(35:09):
this over his head.

Speaker 3 (35:11):
Of course she is.

Speaker 4 (35:12):
That's over she wants.

Speaker 3 (35:13):
I mean, like it seems like he does have a
good relationship with her, probably because she's incredibly controlling and
she wants to keep him around for as long as
she can, and this is the way to do it.

Speaker 2 (35:22):
As the boyfriend. Just go on the trip and babysit,
your pay your dues. Man, I wouldn't do it, Yeah,
I say.

Speaker 4 (35:29):
I was gonna say. It's over his head, not over
my head.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Even as the boyfriend. You want to go?

Speaker 3 (35:33):
Oh is the boyfriend? Okay, okay, I think the boyfriend
should still go.

Speaker 4 (35:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
I agree.

Speaker 3 (35:39):
It's gonna be spending time with his family.

Speaker 1 (35:41):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
Those are his siblings. He's you know, babysitting.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
He did end up asking her if he was going
to babysit, and she answered the next day at eight am.
Stop being so negative. Good night. He told me how
childish and immature she is. But the truth is, I
don't want to spend my life battling his mom. He
promised me that I wouldn't and that things would change
when he graduates. But I'll believe it when I see it.
Part of the reason I'm even contemplating going is because

(36:08):
I want to see what I'm signing up for and
if he's willing to stick up for me, if he isn't,
then we're done. I won't waste years of my life
on someone that can't defend me. Girl.

Speaker 3 (36:19):
I feel like maybe we're making a little bit of
a rash decision for beer really break up. I don't know,
Like breaking up is a pretty big, pretty big thing.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
Yes, in this scenario, I think it could be could
be super reasonable, But I would want to give you know,
I would want to see if we could work through
this one is still give it a chance? Would you
give it a chance?

Speaker 4 (36:39):
To Kian, I'm on thin ice?

Speaker 3 (36:43):
Yeah, I agree, I think thin ice is fair.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
Would you go on the trip to see if you
could have no heck, because he's going to be under
her thumb the whole time.

Speaker 4 (36:50):
Yeah, no, no trip, especially if this is the dynamic
that we're starting going into the trip. Yeah, I know
how you go into a trip is like.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
You know, he's not going to be on your side.

Speaker 4 (36:58):
Yeah, I wouldn't do that.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
Yeah. I don't think the boyfriend will ever send up
to his mom because it's hard to turn it down.

Speaker 3 (37:05):
That's true. I mean he's only twenty three, so it's
not like but still, yeah, I think I think it
totally could be the other way of him always taking
his mom's side over you.

Speaker 4 (37:16):
Yeah, well it's the Cay cowboy up. If you're gonna
be living under your mom's I guess tyranny where she's
having money over your head, maybe stop having that, you know, yeah,
giving her that power.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
Yeah, he did tell her that if I were to go,
then I would book my own room reservation, my idea
since I don't want any surprises. She's now telling him
he's blowing things out of proportion. They're supposed to talk tonight,
and he's pretty angry about the whole situation, so I'll
let you know how it goes. Comedy one says he
did tell her that if I were to go, and
I would book my own room reservation. If you go

(37:50):
and have to pay for your own trip, you were
allowed to do whatever the f you want. The fact
is she's mad at both of you because you want
your own room. Kind of proves that you were right
thinking you were invited to babysit. Only I woult to go,
not even to see what's what. You will only be
miserable and now associate that country with that experience.

Speaker 3 (38:11):
Yeah, don't ruin the entire country. It's terrible. You'll never
be able to go back to that country.

Speaker 2 (38:17):
Oh I hate Switzerland forever. Ah.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
Like someone's like, hey, you want to go, Like I'm
thinking about a Switzerland trip, and you're like, no, God, no,
I can ever go back to Switzerland. And they were
like what I had to babysit?

Speaker 2 (38:29):
Hey, they got it.

Speaker 4 (38:30):
I didn't get to see the country.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
They got a new Swiss restaurant. You wanna go check
it out?

Speaker 3 (38:35):
No, don't make me look after your kids. Oh sorry,
what do you say?

Speaker 2 (38:40):
Oh ope, he says, I agree. I think she confirmed
that I was only going to take care of the kids.
She just gave my boyfriend the name of the resort.
I looked at it. It turns out that a child
and a teen stay for free, but an adult has
to be accompanying them in the room to package. But
I'm thinking that's what she wanted to do.

Speaker 3 (38:58):
Absolutely what she wanted to do, trying to get that free.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
Room, leave me with the kids that they aren't.

Speaker 3 (39:04):
And also crazy thing she won't even pay for op
She was gonna make Opee pay for her kids.

Speaker 2 (39:11):
Leave me with the kids that aren't paying to be there,
and her and her boyfriend can have their own space.
I haven't looked at the prices or compared it to
how much she originally wanted me to give her. But
I think you're right about not going. Yes, part of
the reason I'm com twenty about going and seeing what
I'm signing up for. You don't need to go to
see that. You already know he won't set up for you.

(39:33):
That's what the point I always kind of make.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
Yeah, yeah, he's not gonna say. I mean, like, if
you go, you have to babysit and your boyfriend takes
his mom's side.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
This is where OPI back pedals a little bit. I
don't think I spoke much about my boyfriend's character truly
the best person I've ever been with. When people say.

Speaker 3 (39:48):
That until they have someone that, yeah you're only twenty three, Yeah,
have you actually been with you.

Speaker 4 (39:53):
Know you said they only say that until they find
someone better?

Speaker 3 (39:55):
Best person so far?

Speaker 4 (39:57):
I was gonna say, are they like, oh, he's the best,
and they're like how many? Well have you dated? Just him?

Speaker 3 (40:01):
Just him?

Speaker 2 (40:02):
We need to have a better metric for.

Speaker 3 (40:03):
That, Yeah, like, how does he compare to your friends friends?

Speaker 2 (40:07):
I was thinking, like Disney Princess Princess, how does.

Speaker 3 (40:12):
He compare to Prince Navine post post character development?

Speaker 2 (40:17):
Who's Chris and Christoff? Yes? How does he compare to Christoph?

Speaker 3 (40:21):
That's pretty great? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (40:22):
What about Princess and the Frog? See we're already going to.

Speaker 3 (40:28):
We're already there. How does he compare?

Speaker 2 (40:31):
He's truly the best person I've ever been with. He's
everything I want a partner.

Speaker 3 (40:35):
Mmmm, not everything, clearly, because you want him to stand
up to his mom.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
You're missing a few things here, But I know you
could be right about this. I want to believe that
he would stand up for me if it came down
to it, but I also need to be realistic and
consider how the situation has been handled so far. Another
comment says, you were really going to waste the money
to go and have your own room and still be
pushed into babies. You know your boyfriend isn't allowed to

(41:02):
be in your room even if you pay for it,
So why are you wasting the money to go? Be
put in the exact positions neither of you want to
be in. You are going to get to have any
alone time on this vacation. You aren't going to get
long walks on the beach or snugly time in front
of the fire. You aren't going to get any sort
of romantical time with your boyfriend. You both will get
to be the babysitters. And why would you go to

(41:24):
dinner alone. This is a family trip. We eat together.

Speaker 4 (41:30):
M Yes, it's not.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
You're just not gonna have time to be As that
common said, this is not a romantic trip. Now, this
is a family trip, and you've been hired as a babysitter,
except you don't get paid.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
You have to pay for it.

Speaker 3 (41:43):
You have to pay to be their babysitter.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
Says Yes, I would much rather spend the money on
a vacation for the two of us to enjoy. He
did offer to pay for half of it yesterday. I
forgot to mention this in the post. But either way,
we're both students, plus the money I would lose from
not being at work. I know we really wants me
to be there, and I want.

Speaker 3 (42:03):
Dot dot dot. We'll never know what does Opie want?
What does Opie want?

Speaker 2 (42:09):
Okay, next day theories.

Speaker 3 (42:11):
I don't know a lot of people in the chat
saying this relationship is probably not gonna last. Yeah, I'm
hopeful that maybe the boyfriend will realize, but I hope
Opie does not go on this trip and then she
just you know, does something for herself.

Speaker 2 (42:24):
Kilan.

Speaker 4 (42:25):
I want to be hopeful, but I think somehow, some
way Opie gets roped into going to the trip, like
she's like okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 (42:31):
Oh my gosh. Probably I'm just not seeing a lot
of hope from the boyfriend here.

Speaker 3 (42:37):
Yeah, hope or help hope, Like.

Speaker 2 (42:41):
The boyfriend's character does not stand up, like it's not
I don't know, it's not really anything i'd be waiting
around for.

Speaker 3 (42:47):
Yeah, but op he's in that lake. I'm twenty three,
I'm in love with this boy the you know, one
of the first real relationships.

Speaker 2 (42:55):
Couldn't relate hmmm. But anyway, anyways, unfortunately this isn't a
good update.

Speaker 3 (43:01):
Oh man, I think they broke up.

Speaker 2 (43:04):
I'm now essentially unwelcome on the trip.

Speaker 3 (43:07):
Oh my gosh, she didn't want to go. So yeah,
they're like, I hope He's like, I'm not coming. They're like, well,
you're not even invited anymore. I quit. You can't quit.
I fired you.

Speaker 2 (43:20):
I wasn't outright uninvited, but that's how I interpreted it.
My boyfriend talked to his mom yesterday as planned from
what he told me. She called me ungrateful and a brat,
and I am trying to make everything about myself, said
some other things I don't want to think about right now.

Speaker 3 (43:37):
Why did he tell you all of that?

Speaker 2 (43:39):
And why did he not say shut up? Mom?

Speaker 3 (43:41):
Yeah? I just don't understand why he came to you
and was like, yes, so my mom called you ungrateful
and a brat and a bunch of other nasty stuff.
And instead of just saying my mom was not receptive
to our plan or our talk, he had to tell
you all this stuff in detail.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
Ah.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
She claimed I was making up excuses to get a
room alone with my boyfriend, which I was not. I
have no reason to lie. I asked my boyfriend about
getting a separate reservation for my room, like we had
talked about. That's when he broke the news that she
had already booked the rooms for four adults and three
kids and it's not refundable.

Speaker 3 (44:17):
Sucks to suck. Did you communicate that with Ope.

Speaker 2 (44:20):
I'm pretty sure she did this on purpose to try
and get me to accept her terms. It might be
important to mention that my boyfriend had invited me on
the trip last week and I told him I wasn't sure.
I asked for a couple of days to figure out
since my family member was in the hospital and we
weren't sure if they were going to make it, so
my priorities were elsewhere. Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (44:40):
Yeah. And then you text back your boyfriend and you say, hey,
I have to be here for my family member. I'm
sorry I can't go. And then if he says, well,
mom says you have to pay, you say, I actually
never agreed to this, so I'm sorry I can't do that.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
Too bad to his hand, Yeah, she knew this and
booked the reservation regardless. He started telling me how much
he loved me. I'm like, is he love bombing?

Speaker 3 (45:00):
Now feels like he's like, we no, I know that
all sounded really bad. My mom as you, but I
love you.

Speaker 4 (45:06):
Yeah. He's doing the last line of defense, like, don't worry,
don't worry. I love you so much.

Speaker 3 (45:10):
I think you're great. I don't think you're spoiled at all.
He's like, what, I think you're actually really pretty, no
matter what anyone says, I don't.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
Think you're a witch at all. She didn't call me
a witch. He told me he was done with his
mom and wants to go no contact when we move,
and that after he graduates things will change. So he
said this trip is a couple of months after he graduates.
So I asked him what he was going to do.
He said he was still going to go since it's
a free trip to the country he's never been to before.

(45:40):
I then asked him what's going to change, and he
said that he had to go along with what she
says because she's helping him.

Speaker 4 (45:48):
Helping him how get the money?

Speaker 3 (45:50):
Oh right, like in school.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
Until he gets his own job.

Speaker 3 (45:55):
Yeah, he's not going to go against his I think
at this now, it's like we got to end the relationship.

Speaker 2 (46:02):
Yeah, we already know her answer.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
Hey it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.
But here's three of bits of bads from our sponsors
that keep the show alive.

Speaker 2 (46:09):
I was trying my best to understand the situation because
although it might seem easy for me, I know there's
a lot more at play. I asked him if I
was undivided, and he said no. His mom said I
could go on the trip as long as I went
along with what she wanted. I asked again, if I
could get my own room, and he said no because
he doesn't want me to spend that kind of money.
It's not worth it, and said that it would cause

(46:32):
tension since his mom had already booked a reservation, she
would lose money, so it's her way or the highway.
He knew that I wouldn't go along with this, so
pretty much I can't go. He might invite a friend instead,
but I don't know. Last night he said that he
felt like there was no winning with me unless he
doesn't go on the trip. If I'm being honest, I
do feel betrayed by him still wanting to go after

(46:54):
she disrespected me. But I'm also so tired and emotionally drained.
I'm not sure if I'm for feeling like this.

Speaker 3 (47:01):
Absolutely absolutely, There's been so much wishy washy behavior from
these people, and you just keep getting pulled into it.
You made a very clear statement, you said, I can,
you know, either not go on this trip or we
stay in the room together if I if you want
me to come.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
Yeah, get my own those are only two things. Yeah,
And I don't would.

Speaker 3 (47:22):
Have said, hey, Mom's not okay with them. She's paying
for everything. So it looks like it's not working. Easy
love to take a trip with you another time.

Speaker 2 (47:29):
And whenever, instead of saying that she's like spoiled all
about her. Oh as of this morning, she has officially
threatened to cut all financial support. He says he's at
a point where he would rather not have her support
and I have to deal with this. I know the
reason she's doing this is because she's mad at me,

(47:50):
and this is her way of punishing me. I'm sorry
for the long and not so positive update. I tried
to include all the details that I could, but I
might have forgotten some. I haven't slept and over twenty
four hours, so please bear with me.

Speaker 3 (48:02):
Go to sleep, all right? Then I slightly rescind. I
think that if he follows through with this and goes
no contact and is like, you know what, I can't
take it anymore. There's too many rules. She's just a
nightmare to deal with. I'm done, dude, Then your relationship
can continue.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
I have been a part of a relationship where the
family did not like me. It literally is not worth
it because it trickles down to you. If you're not
in a position where you can literally go no contact
and have no financial support or like emotionally.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
They're always going to be involved.

Speaker 2 (48:33):
Yeah, they're gonna be there. They're gonna be there at
every holiday until you're like, actually, except I'm I'm like,
as of two years ago, I've been you know, separated
from my parents financially and you know, physically because I
have my own place, and maybe maybe four years so's
i've been twenty up. Yeah, but it takes.

Speaker 3 (48:53):
Time, absolutely, and everyone has their own like timeline. But
it seems as though this one is uh going a lot.
It's been pushed along a little bit quicker than others. Yeah. Uh,
and it seems like he hopefully is becoming independent. But
that's the end of that story, folks.

Speaker 4 (49:12):
Is there no update?

Speaker 3 (49:13):
No update.

Speaker 4 (49:14):
The only thing that I saw and I'm reading about
right now is a one comment from op This was
about a month ago as well, and how everyone's like,
why are you doing this? You can just spend your
money somewhere else, and OPI replies, yes, I would much
rather spend the money on a vacation for the two
of us to enjoy. He did offer to pay for
half of it yesterday. I forgot to mention this in
the post. Huh oh yeah, yeah, oh, then that's pretty

(49:37):
much all it is. Okay, Yeah, that's again. People are
just like, what are you doing?

Speaker 2 (49:42):
Yeah, nobody likes a debbie down.

Speaker 3 (49:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (49:45):
Everyone just like, save your money and put it towards
a trip that you want to do.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
Yes, go to Japan. Op.

Speaker 4 (49:52):
Also, why don't you just do a trip for yourself, Go.

Speaker 3 (49:54):
Find go find a well. I think OPS seemingly scared
about solo traveling, but there's tons of places that are
perfectly saved for solo travelers. Most places in Europe. I
felt incredibly safe even when I mean I was with
two people, but there were a couple times where I
was doing like solo things. But we've got another story.
I think my future mother in law is gonna be
an issue.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
You can still clock out of the relationship, you know.

Speaker 3 (50:17):
And this one comes directly from the r slash Okay
storytime Subparate It. My early twenties have been engaged to
my fiance early twenties for three months. I have been
very happy and I love this person dearly, evidently, hence
accepting the proposal. My mother in law to be is
a difficult woman. I suspect she has a mood disorder
and she is currently on antidepressants, but I do not

(50:37):
consider her to willfully or knowingly be a bad person.
By the way, this comes from Ambitious Expert eight to one.
And if you want to submit your own story, is
good to the r slash Okay storytime separate it.

Speaker 4 (50:47):
I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, I'm Keon, and we're here to.

Speaker 3 (50:50):
Give good advice. Goofley, but we don't have all the answers.
We only know what we'd do, So let us know
what you would do in the comments, and Op says,
my fiance is currently going through a difficult time in
his life and it is a very gray area whether
it is his own fault what uh huh. I believe
it is unfortunate, but he did not do anything reckless
or stupid. He may just be struggling with his mental

(51:11):
health and it got out of hand. He called to
tell his mom, and her first reaction was explosive and concerning.
She showed no real desire to understand or help him,
and immediately started screaming on the phone, blaming the engagement
for ruining his life and saying it was my fault.
For clarification, we already lived together before he proposed so
no huge changes had occurred besides my title as his

(51:34):
future spouse and a gorgeous ring on my finger. He
insisted she was wrong, but to no avail. After about
five days of constant back and forth between all of us,
fiance and his mother, his mother and me, even his
grandmother and me, I'm tired. I feel is unfair to
be blamed for something I had no pardon when I
have been nothing but helpful to him. He works while

(51:56):
I am currently unable to because of my chronic condition
and mental health struggles, so I do everything around the
house and support him. No one makes me do this.
I purely consider it fair, since he provides things like
gas and other expenses when I am unable to, and
he takes care of me when I am too sick
to care for myself. Our dynamic has always been one
of unconditional mutual support and relentless attempts to understand and

(52:21):
help each other. While I believe I have influenced his
life for the better, I also admit he has helped
me more than anyone ever has, excluding my mother. This
has worked very well for us. I always felt my
future mother in law didn't particularly like me, but I
put it aside because he was always standing by me.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
Okay, if like a mother and a parent in law
doesn't like you, but the partner strong, then we're okay.
But if the partner's not, then we're not okay.

Speaker 3 (52:48):
I assume she had issues with how young we are,
even though the wedding is postponed indefinitely due to financial
reasons and potential loss of health insurance benefits if we
were legally married. However, after her outburn over the phone
and accusations that are sweet chioh, this has changed and unrecognizable.
I am seriously concerned.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
I don't understand fun fact tomorrow or people watching on YouTube,
we have an episode with a mother in law expert.

Speaker 3 (53:16):
Ooh wow, should I add this one? She could have
told us all about your mother in law.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
Yeah. So I just don't understand why mother in laws
like kind of want to marry their own kids.

Speaker 3 (53:25):
It's weird. So yeah, ENMESHMENTT my.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
Baby boy's gone forever.

Speaker 3 (53:30):
Yeah, you lose this control, and sometimes it's the control.

Speaker 2 (53:34):
It's a control thing.

Speaker 3 (53:35):
Yeah. All along she had the you know, she was
shaping her son's path and then you know, his early twenties,
he decides to make this really big decision to get married,
and she loses control. She's no longer his main family,
his girlfriend is, or his fiance now okay, okay, she
is out of touch with reality when angry, accusing me

(53:55):
of brainwatching him and teaching him to say horrible things.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
Okay, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (54:00):
She even accused both of us of being on hard substances,
though neither of us take any. I cannot drink because
of my medication and he hasn't either for the last
six to seven months. Where is that adding up? I
eventually had a mental breakdown and called her to tell
her that my fiance's grandma so her mom had told
me she ruined her life, and I'm tired she has

(54:21):
managed to tear us aparts.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
What does she have anything to do with your relationship?

Speaker 3 (54:27):
What it seems like? Oh, Pee told the mother in
law mom. No, no, no, no, oh, he told mother in
law that grandma in law thought, uh that mother in
law ruined Oh yeah, sorry, sorry, yeah, that's I think.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
So that was that was a very wild Yeah.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
She proceeded to call me nine times, but I did
not answer. After a few hours, I texted her I'm sorry,
as I felt I could have expressed my feelings better.
She replied about what lying. I called to clarify what
she thought I lied, as her mother had allegedly said
things she now denied saying, despite repeating them multiple times
to both me and my fiance. We ended up talking

(55:09):
for two hours, during which she clarified that she does
not blame me for anything. Well that's new. She blames
her son, either for being on substances or for being
so in lave caan't think straight, and that he just
wasn't strong enough to handle the engagement. I am now
in a sort of decisional limbo. I have a very
difficult and traumatizing life so far, and I only wish

(55:30):
to live in peace. He is my greatest comfort and support,
but she is eating away at my mental health. He
insists he will always protect me and stand by me
should a definitive choice ever need to be made. He
did tell her off for what she said, but she
accused me again of teaching him what to say. But
there is a little bit left to this story.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
Any final thoughts go, no contact as soon as humanly possible.

Speaker 3 (55:56):
Yeah, he needs to really cut contact if she use
acting like this, because this is too much.

Speaker 4 (56:02):
Yeah, and if he's a good partner, he would understand
your boundaries.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
Especially if he's about to marry you.

Speaker 4 (56:06):
Yeah, and you're if she's still in the picture, your
mental health is at this much of a turning point
with her. Yeah, I you know, it should be clear
as day for him to be like, all right, I'm
going to protect you. I want to be there for you.
I understand as long as like it's no contact with her,
between you and her, I think that's fine.

Speaker 3 (56:24):
Yeah. I do not wish for him to cut her off.
I have lost a parent to no contact. What mine
did was much worse, and I know how hard it is.
I refuse to be the reason he struggles. I am
worried she may be a big threat to our happiness
in the future.

Speaker 2 (56:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (56:38):
If he has never let me down in this way before,
can I believe him when he says he will choose
and protect me. I do not want to risk losing
everything we have built just because of fear. But I
am terrified of living a life with a family, particularly
a mother in law who has so many issues. After
barely making it alive and sane for my own past.
Advice is welcome. Oh man, The.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
Only way she cannot affect your life is she's not
a part of it.

Speaker 3 (57:03):
She's not in it.

Speaker 2 (57:04):
Yeah, so do with that as you will.

Speaker 4 (57:06):
I feel like you're not forcing him to go no
contact with her, but that has nothing to do with you.
You can go no contact with her. I feel like
that's fine. If that's really going to be an issue,
I think you have to have a conversation with him.

Speaker 2 (57:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (57:18):
I don't want to talk to her. I don't want
her talking to me. And you have to figure out
what you're going to do with your mother in law.
But she's not going to be part of my life.

Speaker 4 (57:25):
Yeah, exactly, like you can't, like, you can't force Again,
good on you for not forcing him to be Yeah.
I don't want to cut him off from her, but
you can cut yourself off from her.

Speaker 3 (57:35):
But that is the end of this episode. So if
you love us, make sure to subscribe We Love You
and see it tomorrow.

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