My mother came out about her identity... I told her it broke our family! | Reddit Stories | EP2097

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r/JUSTNOMIL - Told my mom that her coming out is what ruined things between us

Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John, This is Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and
we have some stories coming up for you. That's right.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
But before that, we have a little morsel of a
two minute out break from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
H My mother came out as queer. I told her,
it's what's ruined our family. Uh, what you're talking about.
I don't know if this is the right place to
go either, since I'm sixteen, female and mostly with my dad.
But I spent a weekend every month with my mom.
They divorced three years ago. My mom moved in with
my cousin and it was cool because I went there

(00:37):
all the time. I guess to hang out with a cousin.
By the way, this comes from Van Baby Pony and
if you want to meet your own stories, good to
our slash Okay Storytime subur it. So a year and
a half ago, my mom made me go there. I
guess to the cousin's place and introduced me to this
girl and then came out to me and said they
were dating. She and her fiance are engaged. Now wow,
we're going we're going straight in. She also said they

(01:00):
were moving to Victoria in a week. Oh wow. Whoa
that did a lot of change happening all at once
for a sixteen year old. Yeah, after a week she
was gone. From where I am to her, it's a drive,
a fairy ride, and another drive. It takes a while
to see her, and that's why I can only go
once a month since then. Since she left, everything is

(01:21):
so sucky between us. Now it's like good morning messages
and FaceTime good night for five minutes, So their relationship
is kind of not as good as it was. Yeah,
and everything else that changed with her sucks too. I
don't even like visiting her because it's like I don't
belong with her and her fiance. But I still go
because I thought she wanted to see me, and I

(01:42):
miss her a lot every day, So it's like it's
like she's been caught out of her own family. Sad
kid man, Yeah, that's her mom. This weekend, I was
in Victoria and she was facetiming my cousin while I studied.
They got to talking about the wedding, so the mom
and her new fiance, and she started saying stuff like
her life is one hundred times better since she left,

(02:03):
and how she's finally found real happiness and her fiance
and how her fiance is her world now and how
she can't wait fully move on from her old life.
I could have said that, and you're hearing that as
a kid, dude like this, this sixteen year old is like, oh,
like I'm the old life. I'm the Yeah, I'm the
old life. It just made me so freaking angry, like

(02:26):
her life is so much better with me barely in it,
and move on from that old life. I'm from that
old life. I guess she noticed I was pissed because
at night she tried to talk to me. I said,
I didn't want to talk, but she was like, she
deserves to know when something's wrong with her girl, since
I always seem so depressed whenever I come over, maybe
because you're not actually giving her the time of day. Yeah,

(02:50):
and that just made me snap. I lost it and
started shouting at her. I told her, I effing hate
the way she came out because my life got a
lot worse and it ruined things between us. I said,
it sucks that it feels like she wants me gone
because she's happier without me. And that started a pretty
bad argument because she was like, I'm blowing it out

(03:12):
of proportion. I just don't understand. We read a story
about this before where it's like, yeah, your kids aren't
going to understand, and so you have to make sure
that you communicate things clearly and consistently in these big changes,
because what will happen if you don't is the change
will just build up as resentment because a sixteen year
old doesn't know all the intricacies of what it means

(03:32):
for a f forty year old woman to come out,
doesn't know all the intricacy of what it means to
even have, like I mean a divorce happened when she
was thirteen. Like, she's not going to know everything. Your
job as a parent is to explain things that she
doesn't understand straight bowl in a china shop. Yeah, Like
like she's just like absolutely wrecking all of op's like
emotional stability and everything.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
Like again she's like, Oh, you're basically you're so thrilled
that you're ditching me. Yeah, that's what it feels like her,
which is totally fine. And that's what I mean.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Maybe these things are out of context, but that's what
it seems like it is. And Sophia Collin says, mom
is self centered that's kind of what it feels like too. Yeah, well,
then mom just left the room, but I heard her
crying when I walked by her room to go to
the washroom at night. In the morning, her fiance drove
me to the ferry right after breakfast instead of after dinner.
Since then, it's just been texts because I didn't want

(04:23):
to talk to her. My dad and his girlfriend have
noticed my attitude, so yesterday I told him what happened,
and he lipped, telling me I couldn't say that crap
to my mom and his girlfriend, and I was the
a hole for saying it really quick pausing here is
op the a hole for saying that, because I think
maybe what the dad is interpreting this as is like, oh,

(04:44):
you're being homophobic to your mom by saying like I
hate that you came out right, And I think Honeybee says,
it's not about the gay it's about the abandonment. Yea,
Beyonce's mom did this at thirteen, dumped him on his
dad and then moved away with a new partner. Yeah,
I think that's a good That's exactly what it is.

Speaker 2 (05:01):
And it's like, I'm kind of shocked that I guess
the father and the mother were in a relationship for
a reason. They say, I'm like two peas in a
pod of not understanding how to parent your child and
be like emotionally aware.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yeah yeah, And I think they're they're like chastising op
for the wrong thing. They're chastising her for, like the
I don't know, maybe this homophobe comment. We're gonna get
more context instead of addressing the abandonment, like you said,
exactly well, and she said so. Before I went to sleep,
I facetimed my mom to talk again, and she said,
my happiness is hers, and if she's why I'm depressed,

(05:36):
I shouldn't see her until I'm ready. Again missing the point, Oh,
missing the point. I'm missing the point now. I don't
know if I was wrong to say that crap to
my mom or what I should do. Even my fing
counselor is still in Barbados, and my dad's at work
and his girlfriend's staying out of it, and my cousin
is too. Again. Sorry, if this is the wrong subura,
there's a better one for me post in let me know.
And we do have an updates that's coming up, so

(05:59):
I'll a lot of crap has happened. This is my
last post, and I just feel more crap than before.
I didn't plan on posting here again, but you all
were so nice. I thought it couldn't hurt to hear
what you have to say. But I called my uncle.
He wanted to see me because I was scared my
dad told him, and that he's ashamed of me too
because he's attracted to the same gender and he's my

(06:21):
favorite uncle ever. So she's scared that because she said,
I'm like annoyed that you came out to her mom,
that this uncle that she loves is going to disown
her or whatever. Yeah, So he picked me up after
school and I went to his apartment and he just
gave me a big hug because he knew something was up.
So I told him the uncle what I said and

(06:42):
why I said it, and that I was scared he'd
be mad at me too if my dad was the
one who told him what I said. He just told
me he isn't mad and he understands. I played basketball
at the court nearby until it was time for him
to drop me off. That was the last time I
even felt happy, because the higher rest of the month
has been absolute prep. It's crazy that the uncle is

(07:04):
like the only one that understands how to be there
for this kid, the only adult so far that gets
I phone my mom to say sorry the day after
and talk about how I feel. But all she did
was get mad at me for telling my uncle and
said I'm not allowed to share stuff about her home
without her permission. Would isolate your kid more? Yeah, you're
continuing to exacerbate the problem. Yeah, Like like she like

(07:27):
OP doesn't feel like you're listening to her, so goes
to the one person that does feel like they're actually listening,
which they are, and now you're banned. Like like this
is the mom is banning OP from that that. I mean,
you're the way to cut off all of her support structors. Truly.
I said I was sorry about both things, but she
said it didn't matter now and just hung up. Then

(07:49):
her fiance texted and just said to give my mom
a few days to calm down. That just made me mad,
because why should I. He's my mom. I should be
able to phone her whenever. And I tried, but she
declined my call and I think she turned off her phone.
I don't know. I haven't sept properly at all since then,
because I think I ruined things with my mom for good,

(08:10):
and all she's been doing is texting me and we
barely actually talk. Like I keep thinking about it, and
my thoughts and dreams are all messed up, and it's
like I've got this soft lump in my stomach that
keeps coming and going. The more I think about it.
It feels like I was right about me being part
of her old life, and I wish i'd never said

(08:31):
what I did to her. Yeah, and I saw someone
in chat up there say maybe she should try living
with the uncle, because it seems like the uncle's the
only one that actually understand Yes. Then it turns out
I was supposed to get a tetnis shot when I
was eleven, but for some reason I didn't or not
anti vaxers, so I had to get it now because

(08:52):
Dad said VHA was on his butt. I ended up
having a terrible allergic reaction to it. I got sent
to the hospital for a while week because of it.
Apparently it was a super rare reaction. Pray for me
that messed up my exams too. My mom didn't even
come see me because she was going to a cabin
with her fiance. The next day, he's like, I got

(09:13):
a pack. You got a pack. She talked to my
dad on the phone and learned how bad it was,
but all she did was text me saying she knew
I'd be better.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Oh the kitty cat, those things people listen, man, We
thought we thought it was just us.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
Guys, women are apparently just as successful. Oh. She said
that if I was still in the hospital when she
got back, he'd come right away, and that made me
want to stay in the hospital longer, so she'd come
and visit.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
Dude, when your kid is like, oh, I hope I
can stay in the hospital longer, So hopefully, like finally
guilts my mom into coming seeing me.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
Something is very wrong. Well, guys, we're not even a
tenth of the way through the story. Oh god, not
even a tenth of the way. Buckle in, buckle in,
because it gets a lot crazier. But I do think
it potentially better by the end. We hold out, hope
we hold out. She didn't eff income. Everyone else did,
but not her. My cousin came every day. My dad's

(10:15):
girlfriend even slept by me for a few days. My
nieces came, even my boyfriend's and best friend's moms came,
but mine did not. When I got out, all I
got was a text saying so happy you're out of
the hospital, baby, with a selfie of her and her
partner showing off the cabin.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
Included I don't want to see your freaking your freaking cabin.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
I don't want to see your cabin. That's like donating
a bowl of rice to a starving child and saying like,
so glad you got the rice, and then flexing in
front of like a nine course meal in front of
your mansion. I'm like eating no booths. Yeah, yeah, dude,
I got too. I couldn't stop looking at that stoop photo.

(11:11):
I obsessed over it for days and kept getting that
awful feeling in my stomach. Eventually, I just smashed my phone.
My dad's girlfriend heard, and he got an emergency meeting
set up with my counselor. She's a psychologist, but I've
always called her that. I told her everything with more details.
At the end of it, she said, I'm very likely
depressed and might need treatment. I don't know. I got
scared and asked her to tell my dad. She did,

(11:32):
and she told us to get our family doctor to
give a resperral to a psychiatrist for a proper diagnosis
and treatment, or just get it from the family doctor.
My dad got scared and made us get the referral.
The next day, he made an appointment and asked my
mom to come, but she said you wouldn't be able to.
She just texted me to stay strong and remember that
I'm the most important thing in the world to her. Lies.
I don't know what to do. I don't want meds

(11:54):
or anything. I just want my mom to love me
like she used to. Again, if you guys have any
advice on what to do, I need to because it's
like my mom isn't even listening to me anymore and
the appointment is on Friday, and I'm feeling scared. Dude,
there's another update. There's so many updates to this story, Bud.
How is everyone in Opie's life just failing her so badly?

(12:15):
Any any psychiatrists or psychologists or people that have have, like,
you know, a lot of experience with that, Like, is
this a normal reaction to just put sixteen year olds
on meds immediately? I think there is.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
I can't remember if it's a psychologist, but it's a
psychiatrists prescribes psychology, or therapists explore the mind through questions.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yeah, there we go.

Speaker 2 (12:36):
So it's like they're just trying to push push the pills,
you know, sponsored by counselor sponsored by big pharma and
uh what op he needs Yeah of someone to I
think someone said, like skills not pills.

Speaker 1 (12:46):
Yeah, it's like we need to be able to skills up.
I love all these a little like these these rhymings. Shot.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
Dude is freaking' They've always got the bars. Yeah, we
need to at a bare minimum give her the tools.
But like I don't know, like reach out to the
mom and be like, yo, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (13:01):
I don't know. But we got an update. Oh boy,
we got an update. Are you ready? I'm ready as
all ever be let's freakin go, so update too. So
I would have been an update earlier, but I just
didn't have time. I'm in the hospital right now recovering
from my ankle surgery, and I just have some time
before I go home Friday, so I thought I might

(13:21):
as well update. The day after I wrote my post,
I had my niece's mom my cousin in law, but
she introduces me as her little sister. So sister in
law drive me to my uncle. Yes, the only competent
adults in this story, let's go. He just gave me
the biggest hug ever, and I don't know, I just
ended up crying a little. They calmed me down, and

(13:43):
I told my uncle about the appointment with the psychiatrist
and how I was scared, even though everybody, you guys,
was saying it would be okay. I told him I'd
just been unhappy, and then I missed my mom so much.
He agreed to go with me and my dad to
the psychiatrist since my wouldn't be coming. I don't know.
I just couldn't sleep at all that night. I felt

(14:05):
so scared in the morning and kept thinking about my mom.
I didn't want to go to school either, but I did,
even though I felt so weird, like that feeling in
my stomach was just there and wouldn't go away. The
only thing that felt right was hanging out with my boyfriend.
At least she has a boyfriend, Daniel Handler. Thank you,
Amy Herring. Oh, I was bothering him. Yeah, I was

(14:26):
on the brain. Before lunchtime. I ended up falling asleep
in class and got sent to the office. They felt
my dad and he signed me out and dropped me
off at my uncle's house. My uncle was already taking
care of my niece, so I felt bad, but I
went to sleep at the same time as her. He
took a really cute photo of us sleeping next to
each other. He woke me up when my dad came back,
and we went the psychiatrist together. Long story shorts. At

(14:49):
the end of the appointment, the psychiatrist prescribed me a
really low dose of antidepressants because I was still scared.
I've been taking them and they have been making me
feel a bit better. I have another I'm in next
week because my counselor says I might need a higher dose.
When I vented to my counselor, she said she'd be
willing to host an extra joint session between me and
my mom on Zoom if my mom agreed. She thought

(15:10):
it might help to get my feelings across with the
third party. I didn't want to do it, but some
of you recommended it, and my counselor said it could
be a good first step. I called my mom. It
was a short conversation, but she agreed to the counseling session.
All I had to do was send her the Zoom
Wink so we could set one up for later. I
had the zoom session in our computer room so i'd
be alone at first. My mom seems so excited because

(15:32):
she was like, we can work through our issues and
put them behind us. I don't want to talk about
all of it. I mean I couldn't anyway, because I
don't remember most of it. But it didn't go well
at all. When my counselor brought up me not being
with her that much, my mom said that when I
came to Victoria, i'd obviously stay with her. I just

(15:54):
told her, after everything, I didn't even want to go
to Victoria anymore because I would rather go to UBC,
which I believe is British Columbia, because everybody here actually
wants me. My mom said that was ridiculous, since outside
of Waterloo, Victoria was the best option for software engineering
in Canada. Okay, these are schools. This is schools that
OP would go to for college and UBC, so it's

(16:15):
University of Victoria, University of British Clumblia, and UBC only
had electrical computer engineering, so I'd have to go to
her if I still wanted to do that. She also
kept saying that she had spent over a decade doing
nothing but being a mom, and now that she finally
understood herself, she just wanted time to explore that, and
I should appreciate it. You don't get to like just

(16:36):
opt out of being a mom like that and not
expect your kid to have some adverse reaction.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
Your child is not a newsletter. You cannot unsubscribe. It
doesn't work like that. I can't cancel the subscription.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
I mean, I guess you can with like adoption. Okay, yeah,
I mean, I'm dang. And also it's like you you
made it through the first sixty in the years, you know,
just subscribe for two more years.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
Two more, just just see it out and you know what, Hey, look,
well look at the flip side of the coin. The
mom has probably finally accepted herself, finally accepted her sexuality,
and she's like very eager to, like, you know, be
the person that she actually is. But you can't do
that at the expense of your child. Be with her,
But don't do all these things like it doesn't they're

(17:24):
not mutually exclusive.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
Yeah, you could love your your your new wife, and
your daughter. Yeah, exactly, exactly, child, and maybe you could
love your child even more knowing that you like fully
accept yourself and your identity, like I think a lot
of people can do that. But at the end of it,
I told my mom that I hated that she didn't
come see me in the hospital and that she didn't
even call me. Good for you putting it out there. Yes,

(17:48):
I told her I was scared i'd pass away, and
she just said it wasn't that serious because it was
a vaccine and vaccines protect us, so I shouldn't act
like it was serious. I don't know that. Maybe mad
I just muted my mic but because I didn't want
them to hear me crying. But then I kind of
had a breakdown and just ran out to my dad
and his fiance because I was crying. They said they

(18:08):
ended the session, but I don't know what they said
to my mom or the counselor Apparently I fell asleep
crying on the couch while hugging my dad, but I
don't remember any of it. My dad said I was
crying really loudly. I think they carried me to their
bed because when I woke up in the morning. I
was there. Also, what's your dad doing, saying like, yeah,
you were crying super loudly last night.

Speaker 3 (18:27):
That's crazy. Keep it under a certain decibel limit. Yeah,
who am I hoping? Yeah, dude, this dad needs just
the read a freaking room.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
I hit you with muscrunching watch house.

Speaker 4 (18:49):
Where did you get that?

Speaker 1 (18:51):
I fought it just for him? Well, my dad was
on a mattress by the door, and she was on
one by the washroom door. Or at least that's good.
They said it was to block me because they were
scared I'd do something. Every time I think they did
something good. Nope, they just nope. Couldn't be. Oh, couldn't me.

(19:11):
My dad took my new phone and laptop from me
for a bit and said it might be healthy for
me to stay off them for a while. I have
them back now, you're such an it. Sorry No, oh yeah, yeah,
you know what.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
Her mom isn't talking to her. Let's caught off for communication,
like with her boyfriend and her friends too. Let's do that, yes, exactly,
like literally her only support system. Let her watch a
freaking TikTok.

Speaker 1 (19:35):
Bro. It's okay.

Speaker 2 (19:37):
She needs a little stress relief because you're a terrible parent,
and so is your ex wife.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
We'll just dude, yeah, yeah, man, because called Big Pharma.
I haven't talked to my mom at all since then,
and I mean not even good morning, good night text
if she hasn't contacted me at all about my broken ankle,
even though I had surgery yesterday, and I feel like
she doesn't even care that I got hurt, like I,
you know, dad told her that I'm going to surgery,
but she hasn't called. I have my phone and laptop back,

(20:05):
but my dad made me delete ig and Snap because
he's worried seeing her on there might trigger me. A
lot of you said I should stop talking to her,
but I feel bad about it, Like when I think
about it, it makes me feel worse, like it's over
now and I don't have her anymore. I just want
her back. The only time I learn what's up with
her is if I go to my cousin who my
mom stayed with after the divorce and ask, and apparently

(20:28):
she's still happy and is occupied with her wedding planning.
Priorities are a miss. Like Another thing that sucks is
that I used to love watching Scream with my cousin.
But now I can't even watch it because I feel
bad for Billy because his mom left him too, And
I feel bad for feeling like that because he's the villain.
Oh is Billy the the little knife guy?

Speaker 4 (20:51):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
I don't know, Chucky a Billy and scream that's like,
I think it might be the guy who's like ianks.

Speaker 5 (20:57):
Seeing you on the phone.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
You're in the house, did that very well? Yeah, and
the expressions. So I couldn't even get through the rewatch
and we couldn't even watch the new one. I told
my counsel that I still feel really bad and sad
and nothing's changed, and she's like, oup the antidepressants, huh up.
And she said I need to bring it up at
my next appointment with a psychiatrist so we can up

(21:22):
my toes.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
Oh god, I was joking bier them, Oh joke, we
are we crazy?

Speaker 1 (21:34):
Don't do that. There's so much incompetence around ope, so
much incompetence. It takes a village to fail a child.
That is what we're learning today. I don't know. I
feel confused, and I don't like seeing or talking to
my mom at all. I feel like I've done the
wrong thing. I've tried to do things we used to
do with my dad's fiance and my boyfriend's mom, but

(21:55):
it's not the same, and I just miss her more,
even though she probably doesn't miss me at all. I
wish I could see her, but I don't want to
keep her ruining things for myself because what if he
doesn't want me anymore. I'd ran to my counselor about it,
but I'm stuck in a hospital bed till Friday, so
I guess that's why I'm back here, looking for advice
on what to do when I'm out of here. And
there is another update John. Hey, guys, posting again because

(22:17):
I'm confused as to what's going on, and I thought
maybe i'd get some opinions before I bring it up
with my therapist. Pretty much, I don't know if my
mom hates me still or if now she wants to
be my mom again, because everything she's done lately is
so confusing. My foot is still bad. The doctor says
it's healing, but I mostly confined to crutches or a wheelchair.
I'm not really able to go to a lot of places.
I can go anywhere, but I don't go because it

(22:39):
takes too long to get around. I also love how
like during this hulk kerfuffle, Opie's foot is just a
bag of boats. Yeah. Yeah, it's happened. I mean Opie's
gone to the hospital twice. Yeah, dude, once for the
fever that our mom didn't care about, once for the
ankle that our mom didn't care about. We gotta put
OPI a little bubble, Yeah, antime, mom, bubble. I'm guessing

(23:00):
my cousin told my mom because apparently she came to
New Westminster and did her wedding dress shopping there with
my cousin and her fiance, and she didn't even tell me.
I know, we hadn't talked since the therapy session, but
you promised me that I would get to do that
with her, and she didn't even tell me. I found
out because when I visit my cousin, she showed me
the dresses she was going to wear at the wedding

(23:21):
and at the reception, and the ones my mom and
her got for me to wear it those. I was
confused because I was sad she didn't take me a
bit happy because that meant she still want to be
there anyway. Her wedding was on Canada today, and I
went with my cousin to Victoria a week later. My
dad did say I didn't need to go, but I
didn't want to miss it again missing the point OPI

(23:41):
wants nothing more but to be close to her mom.
We we stayed at airbnb that my mom got for
some of our relatives because her place was too small.
She didn't come and visit me there, but my cousin
went to meet her, and I didn't go because my
foot was hurting really bad. When she came back, you said,
my mom was really disappointed I didn't come as well.
The day after, I was going to go shopping downtown
with my cousin, but then my mom came. When she

(24:03):
saw me, didn't give me a hug like she usually gives,
just kind of held my shoulders, gave me an awkward
kiss on the cheek and said she was glad I
decided to come. Then she kind of turned me over
to my aunt, my mom's cousin, to go shopping with instead,
because she and my cousin would be busy that week
with all the wedding stuff and making sure it all
went perfectly, that we couldn't go downtown. I love my aunt,

(24:25):
so it wasn't bad going downtown with her, and she
didn't even mind pushing me in the wheelchair. But it
wasn't what I wanted to do. I want to spend
time with her mom. Dude. Two days before the wedding,
they had this really big up meet the family's dinner,
where my mom and her wife were introducing people to
their relatives. Because my foot got swollen and the boot
was hurting in it, I had to go in the wheelchair,
so my mom didn't even introduce me to people, and

(24:48):
one of the few times I was able to talk
to us, this guy related to her wife interrupted us,
asked who I was, and she just said, don't worry
about her, and then had an aunt of mine wheel
me away. Oh we're about to not worry about you. Okay,
she's again. This seems absolutely crazy, but we have talked

(25:11):
to people in the chat that things like this have
happened to It's true. This is like and I think
some people, yeah, this is aux said never wanted to
be a mom. I think this is someone who was
forcing the motherhood and this it's finally coming out that
she really didn't want to be a mom and she.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Yeah, she's taking out all the resentment of like I
spent sixteen years of my life dedicated to you and
da da da da da da.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
And it's like and she's trying to have this perfect
wedding that she doesn't want Ope to get in the
way of. And so all of this is coming to
a head. And you know, we've seen how she feels
about Opee through her actions, and now the words are
finally matching the actings. Rile, you had something to say too.

Speaker 6 (25:50):
Yeah, like also the way that I think it's symbolic
that Ope is in a wheelchair right now at her
mom's wedding, because that's probably how her mom views.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
Her as a handicap exactly on her life. Dude, metaphor,
that was how we're reading into the metaphor. That was crazy.
They're just doing high school where it's like that's the
yellow mean in this story. It was like, I don't know, p.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
Yeah, I mean, bro bro op is so down bad.
But but you know what, the one good thing about
this is maybe now tell me what's good about wheelchair.
I think that, like you said, the mom's words are
now matching her actions. Hopefully this will help opie see
how she's actually acting and kind of be like, look,

(26:38):
I got to focus on me because I know mom
right now, in her current state, she's not only not
doing anything for me, she's making actively worse.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
I need to, you know, focus on the people that
actually make me feel better. Yes, exactly. Well, well, well
that may be really upset, but I did feel a
bit better because her fiance's parents brought gifts for me,
not my kind of stuff. I think they thought I
was younger than I am. And the wedding itself was cool.
My foot wasn't badly swollen then and I was able
to use my crutches. My mom acted so differently then

(27:09):
and made me take a bunch of pictures with her
and with her fiance, and she seemed so happy and
told me it was the best day of her life,
only because I came.

Speaker 4 (27:18):
Wait wait, wait, wait about Tom. I've seen this before.

Speaker 6 (27:20):
I've seen this before where they it's they want to
like have a happy family, like I've seen it before
in another story. I don't know how to how to
word this, but it's like a lesbian couple and they
wanted to be like, oh, look at our happy family
on social media.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
We're so happy. Yeah, it's image space. It's image space.
They're all doing it for image They're doing it for
the familial cloud. It's like that guy that gets a
fake Rolex and flexes in front of her rented or Lamborghini,
and it's like, I'm the same kid, just different toys,
you know, Like which is a real thing that I
saw someone do, but like that is like that's like,

(27:54):
so that's just flexing something that you don't have. And
I feel that's exactly what the mom is doing. It's
flexial family that they don't have. So true. At the reception,
I wore the dress that she got me, but I
couldn't walk in the crutches while wearing it, not like
the wedding one. So my aunt made me go in
that dress and in my wheelchair even though I didn't
want to, and my cousin said I could wear different jeess,
but my aunt was like, my mom got that dress

(28:15):
specifically for me, and we'll be upset if I don't
wear it. Then the reception, I was seated at the
table with family near the stage where she and her
fiance sat, but at the table with kids I didn't
even know, even though some of my relatives younger than
me were at the family table. My aunt said, they
moved me there because my wheelchair. Wait, so they moved
you away from the main family table.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
Yeah, And there was other like She's like, oh, I'm
at the kids table, which maybe they could be like, oh,
you know, it's just like with the other kids. There
was other kids younger than her, who, by the way,
are not her mom's child, sitting at the like the
main table.

Speaker 4 (28:52):
Yeah, so where is the kid's table usually placed in out.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
Of the way. Yeah, out of the way. Yeah, let
me let me, let me tuck you over here. My
aunt said, they moved me there because my wheelchair. But
I just don't get why I couldn't be with my family.
My mom didn't even take a photo with me at
the reception. She just came to me once said high.
And I wasn't even the family photo because we didn't
bring my crutches because my wheelchair. So my aunt said,
my mom told them to leave me because they couldn't

(29:18):
fit me in. And the day after we were going home,
my mom came to say goodbye to us. He talked
to me alone for a minute and then said sorry
for everything that happened between us before, but she was
hoping we could get past it as you inflict more damage,
hoping we can get past it. No, No, we've passed
that road. You are a long time at closing a wall. Yes,

(29:40):
in the middle of our road. We're not getting past anything,
but if we couldn't, she was still happy. I came
to her wedding. I didn't really get to say anything
because she just hugged me and sent us on our way.
I don't feel that sad about everything anymore, though, because
I think the antidepressants have been helping. Ope, he's just numb. Ope,
he's just numb.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, Like maybe there
is something about the antire presidents that are not like
necessarily numbing but are helping the brain chemistryor something.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
I could be completely wrong. I know anxiety men's are
more like the stuff. I feel like we're taking the
wrong approach with the men things lead wrong completely. I
have been feeling happier for about a month now, and
nothing has happened to me like I was afraid for
the last two weeks. My mom has been texting good morning,
good night again when I didn't do anything like text, call,

(30:31):
or phone or FaceTime since the therapy session with her,
it hasn't been more than that, but I've been saying
it back. I'm just confused with why she's acting the
way she is. You guys, have any clue or advice.

Speaker 3 (30:42):
Edit.

Speaker 1 (30:42):
I wish I could say thank you to everybody who's
commented and given advice. I'm sorry if I didn't respond
to you guys personally, but it means so much to
me that you guys cared. I've read everything, and helpful
you bring it up to with my counselor. I thank
you guys so much. I love you all. And there's
an update. We're not even halfway done. Well, we're still
this story. We're still there. We're still going. Oh and
there is an update coming up.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
Hey y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get
back to the story. So, but here's a quick three
minute break from asper more sponsors.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
So I got a phone call from my mom and
I did answer because I guess I was curious because
she's only been texting me since her wedding, and she
said she wanted me to come over even though I
was really missing her because I was going to go
with my uncle's family to Seattle that weekend. Basically, Opie's like,
I'm going to spend more time with uncle, and it
feels like the mom was like pulling her away. Don't

(31:28):
let her do it, don't let her do it, don't
let her do it. I said no, put your foot down.
Ope mm hmmm, yes, been a good I think I
would have said no anyway, because I was just planning
on staying away. Like everybody here suggested yees, stay away
from her, and my counselor also said that it might
be good to define my life without her. She said okay.
Within the day after, I think she phoned my dad

(31:50):
because he came and said that I had to go
to Victoria instead. I told him I didn't want to go,
but we ended up arguing and he said that I
didn't have a choice and my uncle would take me
somewhere when I got back. Again, we're just isolating op
from her only support person. Dude, stop bad. So my
dad dropped me and my cousin off at the ferry

(32:11):
and when we got to Victoria, it turns out my
mom and her wife I guess my stepmm now moved
into their new house. My mom's wife wasn't there because
she was in Ottawa for work, but her parents did come.
They're really nice. They kind of went on about how
they thought they'd never have grandkids and were so happy
when they learned my mom had me. They did offer
to get me some presents this time, but my mom

(32:33):
let them take me to dinner to some perogi place
in downtown instead. I don't know what to think about
the visit, because so much of it was good, but
the one bad part was really bad. When I got there,
I wanted to talk to her about the stuff at
the wedding and everything else, like the fact that she
literally said get out of the way. Yeah, And I
wanted to tell her that I would rather have gone

(32:54):
with my uncle. But then I just felt really nervous
because I, I don't know, I kind of just felt
like I'd ruined the entire trip if I did, so
I just didn't did. Maybe that was the wrong thing.
The first thing I noticed in her house was her
giant graduation picture where she's holding a baby me above
the fireplace. Then my mom surprised me by showing me

(33:15):
my room and it's perfect. Oh. I have a huge bed,
a big personal washroom, because remember the mom wants op
to move to University of Victoria to do the engineering program, right.
She wants her to do that's right, and so is
setting up a whole place for her. Riley has an.

Speaker 6 (33:33):
ICU, Oh talk to me, you know how like in movies,
everything looks nice, everything looks perfect.

Speaker 4 (33:38):
The one thing that caught my eye so far was
that she has a picture of her at a graduation
with a baby her.

Speaker 6 (33:45):
I feel like, one day everything's gonna go to crap,
and that fireplace is gonna be like lit, it's gonna
be super hot and fiery, and it's just gonna remind.

Speaker 4 (33:53):
Her like she's in Hell's.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Riley, Riley digging poetic for I honestly was kind of
thinking of the same thing, having the thing about the fireplaces.
I'm like, that picture's gonna melt it. It's gonna show
that melted, yes thing. But also I was literally as
you were saying that, I was thinking Coraline, like the
thing that looks perfect on the outside but it is
actually terrible. And Sanity also saw it. It's Coraline mom.

(34:21):
It is a Coraline mom, you know, giving all these promises,
but it's actually terrible. Yeah, I haven't seen that movie
in ages so such a spooky movie. I haven't seen
it ever. Well, I have a huge bet, a big
personal washroom, a walk in closet, one of those fancy
standing desks, and a TV. It's all white because my
mom was like, when my foot is better, she wants

(34:41):
me to come and paint and decorate it all with her.
She even promised she'd never let anybody use the room,
even if I'm not there that often. Again, I feel
like she's just setting op up for another emotional, like
just depth another It's a waste. Come on, Is she
gonna use it just to put her in the corner? Yeah,
exactly and lock the door throw out a peep.

Speaker 6 (35:01):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (35:01):
The first night I got back from the PEROHI place,
my mom, my cousin and I stayed up so late
just watching TV, and I even fell asleep hugging her.
I'm just waiting for the other shoot to drop.

Speaker 6 (35:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
The next day we went downtown and my mom took
a shopping and then to the Royal British Columbia Museum,
the one with the mammoths. My foot in my hands
really started hurting afterwards because my mom made me use
my crutches and not the wheelchair, said it'd be good exercise,
but we all know it's just because she didn't want
to push that wheelchair.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
Yes, and also, by the end of the story, all
of Opie's bones will be broken.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah, how terrible is this person? So then she took
us to the spa. We took so many pictures and
I'm pretty sure she put them on Instagram, but I'm
not allowed on it anymore. Again. I feel like she's
just flexing for the gram. Yes, yes, so I'm not sure.
I was really tired when we got back, so I
conked out right away. When I woke up in the morning,
my mom actually brought me pancakes in bed because my foot,

(36:02):
because I love it when she makes me those. I
don't trust this single thing that's happening right now. No,
it's coraline, coraline, coraline, coraline. Buttons, fries buttons. The rest
of that day was good to accept. At night, the
shoe we gonna draw. Here we go. My mom said
that when I moved in for university, we could make
every day like this. So she's like, she's like making

(36:23):
the perfect day. Try to suck her in yeah, it's
one day one. So I reminded her I might go
to University of British Columbia instead, Yep, not u VIC.
Mm hmm. And we got into a really big argument
about university and I did scream at her and bring
up stuff from before, but pretty much my mom said
that she wants me to go to u VIC if

(36:44):
I still want to do software engineering. She said that
if it was any other kind of engineering I wanted
to do, she wouldn't mind paying for UBC, but that
it's not a good for software. She did say she
would still pay no matter where I went, but she'd
be really disappointed if I chose not to go to
the best university for my degree where I could also
stay with her, just because I blamed her coming out

(37:05):
and moving for everything bad that's happening to me since then,
conspiracy theory talk to me, spears e theory and maybe
this is a little bit too far. I think the
mom is thinking about her retirement and who is going
to take care of her in her old aide mmmm,
and she wants OP to make that money so OP

(37:27):
can pay for end of life care slash like elderly care.
When she's older, and I think it's also a grand play.
It's an Instagram play and it's like a take care
of me when you're when you're old play, and I
want you to get as much money as possible.

Speaker 6 (37:41):
And OB's like sixteen, right, six Yeah, Okay. I was
going to go down the child support route, like, oh,
if she takes care of her, she gets money from
the husband, from the ex husband.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
I was as much. But yeah, I think cause it's
only two years left, that's my that's my conspiracy there.
What do you guys think?

Speaker 4 (37:58):
I am trying to figure out what she's trying to
get out.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Of this, yeah, because it's like she's always been trying
to get something out of it. Just it doesn't feel
like it's just altruistic.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
You know, she's one thousand percent doing it for something
other than out of just be your love for daughter
and what's best for life. It is absolutely not in
the daughter's best interest and absolutely is in the mother's
best interest, don't it could be? It could be I
don't know, maybe it is just the familial that the
family clout. You know, I'm just like making ooh, is

(38:29):
it to be looking good for her new wife's family.
But she did, but she did like she was like, oh,
don't worry about her, I think in front of them.

Speaker 5 (38:36):
Mmmm.

Speaker 4 (38:37):
So because there's her wife, got a lot of m
and the very family oriented.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Oh yeah, hope, hope, hope, all right. Fiance fiance's parents
were like, I thought I would never have a grand baby.
Maybe they want her toys? Say again, they got her
toys and gifts at the wedding. Toys and gifts at
the wedding thing. I think the parents of Opie's mom's

(39:03):
fiance are like, maybe want to support Opie's mom and
the fiance more. Yes, if there's a grand baby in
the pictures, Deeter Sathan the in laws, we're so happy
to have the grandkid. Yes, yes, it's for the wife's mother,
Samantha Lourie. Yes, yes, that's it. That's also, Oh, if
you go to college, child support continues. Is that true?

Speaker 4 (39:25):
Interesting?

Speaker 2 (39:26):
And maybe if it's like a specific college double paid
so she's getting she's getting it from her new her
new in laws, the grandparents, and still getting it from
from ex husband like double money.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
Oo wow, yeah this is in Canada. Yes, oh wow,
Rebecca Perla says the penny drops. Yes, she's trying to
look good for the in law, so we have been right.
It's all for show, but it's not just for the
Graham it's for the fiance's parents. Dude, ho, dude, I
feel like Reddit Sherlock Holmes right now. Cooked? Oh we cooked,

(40:02):
absolutely cooked, houcked, Let's go. She also said I need
to stop exaggerating how bad everything has been because it
shouldn't make me change my university plan. I tried telling
her that's not what I meant, but I couldn't say
it right, and I have things. Started crying and she
seemed to get really mad. She didn't yell or anything,
but she just gave a frustrated sigh and said I
need to stop crying, grow up and accept that she

(40:22):
handled things the best way she could and my attitude
problems were why it's been such a bad year for us.
It's not me, it's you. That's exactly You're a big woman,
baby mom. That just made me cry more. And she
said if I don't grow up, I'm never going to
get a husband, and then left the room. Oh my gouch,

(40:43):
never gonna get a husband. What are you talking about?
That has nothing to do with anything you m I
just kind of kept crying because I don't feel like
any of that is true, and the husband part was
so effing weird, and I honestly can't stop thinking about
that part specifically. Half an hour later, she came back
with water and made me drink and started yelling me
at me how if I wanted to do computer or

(41:04):
electrical or any other engineering, she'd support UBC, but the
UVic is the best for software outside of Waterloo, and
she doesn't want to send me so far away, but
would still pay for it if that's what I'd do.
I don't know why she wanted to keep talking about that,
but I didn't, so I just agreed when she said
she'll take me to talk to an advisor to convince
me next time I come over. Me and my cousin

(41:25):
left early next morning, so yesterday me and my mom
said she'd try to come over for my birthday because
her in laws really wanted to attend. The in laws
really wanted to attend, remember that, and that she'd try
and make an appointment at YUVIC once my foot's better.
The thing is, that argument was the one bad thing
about the visit. Everything else would have been perfect because
it was just like it used to be with her,

(41:47):
and I didn't even know if I'd be posting if
it had been. But I just can't stop thinking about
the stuff that she said when we argued. I don't
even know why she said the husband thing. I just
don't get what the FG means by that or why
she would bring it up. I'm not going to smash
my phone this time, but i do feel mad thinking
about it. I told my cousin about the argument we
had on the way back, and she told me she

(42:08):
personally thinks I should go to UBC and would try
to convince my mom, but that she thinks she just
wants me to live with her again. I told my
dad and his fiance about it, and he apologized for
make me go, but said that he had to. He
and his fiance have checked on me a dozen times already,
Like I'm getting that stupid effing feeling in my stomach
and every time I think about it, and I wish
I would be able to go with my uncle instead,

(42:29):
but I'm going to spend the rest of the week
at his apartment, so I guess it's fine. I'm going
to go to my counselor again. Today before my uncle
picks me up. Does anybody have any advice for what
I could bring up? Because we went through the comments
posted to Hea last time, and we have another update.
We have another third of the story left. Wow, another third.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
And uncle is up next and they've discussed the Reddit
posts and stuff together.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
That's who she was doing in the comments with. So
it seems like Redda is helping. Reddit's helping.

Speaker 2 (42:57):
And I love the fact that the uncle is like
sitting down and like discussing this stuff really good.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
No, no, I think it's the dad. Oh the dad.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
Okay okay, okay, okay, okay, I mean better than better
than nothing. Yeah, dad's acting like a dummy, But it
does seem he is like apologizing for for when I
had to What is it?

Speaker 1 (43:17):
But there's a little, yeah, a little like what I
had to.

Speaker 4 (43:21):
Everyone is so heated with the story.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
Yeah, Op's mom is going to get me a record
and my own true crime podcast. Yeah, people are trigger warning, Yes,
trigger warning for crappy mother. I mean I guess well
update by Hey it's Sam. We're gonna get back to
these stories. But here's three of its dads from our

(43:44):
sponsors that keep the show alive, so some stuff happened.
I've pretty much just been texting with my mom since
my visit to her. I try to keep it to
good night, good morning. But when I didn't respond to
her other messages, she phoned my dad and he told
me I didn't have to phone her, but to at
least respond to her other messages. I did have to
go to the Victoria for Thanksgiving because her wife's whole

(44:06):
family was going to be there, and she told my
dad I had to go again. When the wife's whole
family is there, who needs to show up? Ope? Like magic? Yeah,
it's all postering.

Speaker 5 (44:17):
Ooh.

Speaker 1 (44:18):
I was only there for three days with my cousin,
and the first two days my mom pretty much spent
with me and it was like it used to be again,
like she and I went shopping, we even cuddled to
sleep watching TV again. But the third day dinner, wife
were focused on the dinner and the guests and everything,
So I get it. Yeah, I was upset that she
paid really little attention to me, but her wife's entire
immediate family was there, and I get that she needed
to focus on them. But when we left after dinner,

(44:40):
we had to take the really late ferry. My mom
said bye and she was going to book a meeting
at a University of Victoria to take me two and
didn't even give me a second to talk about it
before waving us goodbye. And then it went back just
texting good morning, good night until my birthday. So literally,
when there needs to be a performance, the mom's like, oh, like,
let's have the perfect day. And as soon dude, as

(45:00):
Opie's gone out of sight, out of mind Emmy Award
winning performances. When when something Emmy Awards.

Speaker 6 (45:07):
Old, Yes, I would love to plant like an audio
something so we could hear what this mom says about
her kid whenever she's not around.

Speaker 1 (45:18):
Yeah. Yeah, So then my mom and her wife came
with my wife's parents because my mom was like, they
really wanted to celebrate my birthday again. The wife's parents
are there. Yep, I guess they're my step grandparents, but
I really like them and they seem to really like
me too. I mean, step grandma said the best thing
about the wedding was that they finally got a grandchild

(45:40):
and they brought a lot of presents for me. The
step grandparents, they have a niece around my age and
they had her go out with them and just get
so much stuff, and they think someone my age will
like it, and I do like it. My mom got
me an album of pictures of us and said to
look at the photos whenever I miss her, because it'll
make it like he's right there with me.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
No.

Speaker 1 (45:59):
At the party, Mom and Dad seemed to get along
just like when they were married, like they were laughing,
telling jokes, even had me do goofy pictures with them
like we all used to. Mom's wife got along with
Dad's fiance and with my uncle, his son, and his
son's wife. My mom didn't talk to my uncle at
all beyond when he came to say hi to her,
and she said hi and a really mean tone to him,
which was weird since they used to be so close.

(46:21):
I guess she's still mad at him for when I
talked to him about what was going on. She was
really weird with my boyfriend and was non stop making
jokes about him and me getting married and making her grandma.
She straight up said to him, I don't want you
to wait until I'm gray and in my forties to
make me a grandma. But his mom also got into
the jokes, so I guess it was just a mom thing.

(46:43):
My mom and her wife left after only about an
hour and a half to go stay at a fancy
hotel all the way over in Cole Harbor, even though
my dad did offer them a room.

Speaker 2 (46:53):
Cole Harbor ninety five percent complete halfway through the final episode.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
Mm hmm. Good. Mom just said she doesn't feel it'd
be appropriate to stay in the same house as him,
and it's too painful for her because he designed the house.
When I asked her why she couldn't stay, So I guess,
like I didn't want to stay in the same house
as husband. It had missed me off because they came
at four and so when everyone was setting up, so
I guess that means they missed the actual party. My
step grandparents stayed though, and only left in the morning

(47:20):
when my mom and her wife came to pick them up.
Then at eight thirty, my mom did a FaceTime with me,
but it looked like she and her wife were in
the hotel, spa or something. Doesn't make sense because I
thought those clothes pretty early in the day, but they
were wearing those robes and looked like they were someplace
really fancy. Then my mom was like she has to
hang up because she doesn't want me to see them
without clothes on. Weird, and they were both giggling at that.

(47:41):
That really effing pissed me off. And they ditched my
birthday to go hang out in a spa. Yep, yeah,
here we are again. Who could have predicted this? Dude,
who could have predicted it?

Speaker 6 (47:52):
And close thing because like now they're about to go
to a spa and not have clothes on either. I'm
I'm just trying to do things.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
Riley's metaphors. This is continuing. He's diving in deep to
the Reddit metaphors.

Speaker 5 (48:09):
And so the symbolism, yes, yeah, yeah, we're finally seeing
underneath the clothes of what's really there, and it's a stinky,
stinky body.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
Of your mother.

Speaker 5 (48:23):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
Yeah. Maybe they were actually doing something else, but I
honestly don't want to even think about that beyond what
I have to. Then there's the album that she gave
me as a present. I didn't really think about it
a lot then because I was happy that she came.
But I did try yesterday because my dad's fiance was
meeting with some of her relatives for last minute planning
because her and dad's wedding is on Sunday. I wasn't

(48:45):
with them because I studied, but when I did leave
my room to get my charger, I heard them talking
about me. My dad's fiance was saying the best stuff
about me, but her relatives were saying some crappy things
about my mom and she wasn't stopping them. So maybe
finally everyone's seeing how crappy the mom is. Yeah, they
understand it. Okay, this could be good, could be great.

(49:06):
She was also talking about how my mom is forcing
my dad's hand to send me to her over winter
break instead of my uncles because that's when their honeymoon is.
I didn't mean to spy, and I get now that
i'm writing about it that what they were saying wasn't
exactly wrong, and they were only saying because they didn't

(49:27):
think i'd hear it really having pissed me off and
still does. I was upset, and I looked at the album,
and it's pictures of both of us, my mom and I,
from when I was a baby until now, and behind
each picture she slid a note about why the memory
is special or what the picture means to her if
she can't remember. But It just made me angry because
of how few photos there are from after she moved
to Victoria. Most of them are ones from the wedding

(49:49):
day and barely anything before that, so it's like she
just started collecting these photos once she needed to yes
to prove to this to the fiance's parents. There's only
one photo in it that was like a month before
she came out, and it's when she lived in my
cousin's house, and pretty much I surprised her with cookies
that my cousin and I made that day. When I

(50:11):
surprised her, she hugged me so tight and told me
she was proud of me. My cousin took the photo
on her phone. But that night I found her crying
in a room and she said it's because I'm growing up,
and said something like how she wishes she could live
in the moments like that forever and she's so proud
of me. And it makes me so mad because that's
what I want back. And the fact that I'm not
even in photos of her pre wedding events and reception

(50:32):
and so much other stuff in Victoria just makes it
seem as if it's an album giving proof that I've
barely been in her life and that I should be
happy for it. And I know I shouldn't be thinking that,
because she's actually gave me a good gift and I'm
poisoning it with my own mindstead value it and all
the memories inside. But my therapist has been trying to
help me define life without her, and it's hard because

(50:53):
I don't want to, because I can't let go of
this feeling that it could be good again, and I
don't want those people to be right. But my therapist
says it's all right to want that, but for my
own sake, I need to in case it doesn't ever
happen again, and it will help once I'm in university.
So I've been trying, but I hate it. So I
guess I came here to ask for advice and stuff
I can bring into therapy. There's another update. The day

(51:14):
after my dad and his fiance got married, I guess
she's also my stepmom. Now. I had to go to
Victoria because my mom wanted me there. My cousin was
supposed to come, but she changed plans because her boyfriend
got time off work, so they went to Whistler instead.
When I got to my mom's house. I was there
for half an hour and found out my mom and
her wife were going to Ottawa for her wife's job,
so I'd be staying with my step grandparents until Christmas weekend.

(51:36):
I call them step grandparents here because it makes sense
for some reason, but in real life I've started calling
them Nana and Papa. I'll be honest. I had so
much fun with them. I really love them both so much.
Step Grandpa loves basketball as well, and he's also a
Lakers fan. Step Grandma taught me how to knit. I'm
not that good, and they made me amazing breakfast and
lunch every day was there. We would go out for

(51:56):
dinner every night. And they live even closer to you
Vic than my mom does. So they said if I
go there, they turn a room in a study room
for me.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
The thing is, when my mom came back and I
went back there, she told me that she found out
while in Ottawa that they got a new car for
me for Christmas.

Speaker 2 (52:11):
Whoa the grandparents, dude, they are She's got now her
own like sick room, a study room and a new car.
Finally someone that actually, yeah, dude, yeah, the dark that
is so that is some symbolism right there. Dude, Riley
went from finding.

Speaker 1 (52:32):
Dude, Oh my god, Riley's an artist right here. With
this story. Mom was kind of angry because she thinks
it's too much, and I was honestly just scared because
I've never had something so expensive. The mom's pissed, but
my mom talked to that with my dad and apparently
it's all right. So on Christmas, they bought me the
car and it was really cool. I was so nervous
to drive it, but I do like it. I left

(52:52):
in Victoria because I don't want to drive it myself yet,
and my mom got me a lot of presents, and
I mean a lot. There was so much there it
fell over. After Christmas, we saw the new Disney movie
Strange World, because my mom and I both love those
kind of movies, and in it, the main character is
a teenager who has issues with his dad and grandpa
and he's also attracted the same gender, but it's just
who he is and it's handled like a normal movie.

(53:13):
But as soon as it became clear he was attracted
the same gender, my mom got really quiet and just
kind of shut down. She just went to her room.
When the movie was done. Didn't even say good night
to me. When I went to brush my teeth, I
could hear crying really badly to her wife, and I
know I should spy, but I just had to. He
was crying about how it's so normal now and how

(53:34):
she wishes she could have come out as a teenager
and lived her life the way he should have, and
how she and her wife could have gotten married way before.
I felt really bad, and then I heard her talk
about how many years he wasted as a soccer mom,
and I got mad as well and just went to
my room. I was kind of prepared to argue about
the movie the next morning, but my mom didn't even

(53:56):
come out of her room. Her wife said she was
feeling sick, and I went to say good She stopped
me because she was like, my mom doesn't want me
to see her like that. I heard my mom throwing up,
and when I said good morning through the door, just
checking her, she said it back, but then started crying
again really loudly, and had her wife take me away
because she said she can't let me see her cry.

(54:17):
I just stayed watching TV after that because I felt
really bad, because it was my idea to watch that movie.
Her wife kept going back and forth and try to
get her somebody to eat, and apparently she ate some bread,
but then she threw that up too. Then my step
grandparents came because they were worried, and they went driving
with me to distract me. They went to Dairy Queen
even though it was really cold, and it did get
my mind off things. And still step grandpa answered a

(54:39):
call from my mom's wife. Then he was telling her
to take my mom to the hospital. But I heard
her mention how my mom would rather pass away than
go there, and how she didn't see her parents in
the hospital and didn't even go to see me. So
I think maybe the mom is feeling bad. Oh, maybe
the mom is actually really a afraid of hospitals, as

(55:01):
a fairy of hospitals, because she said, yeah, I didn't
go to see op and I didn't go to see
the parents.

Speaker 2 (55:06):
That's what I'm That's what it sounds like to me too.
She has some sort of hospital phobia.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
When my step grandparents asked if that was true, I
said it was about me, and I tried not to,
but I did cry. It got me to stop, and
I feel effing embarrassed that I cried in front of them,
but we had a good day together. When my step
grandparents dropped me off, my mom was on the couch
and called me over. She then gave me such a
big hug, but it was like she was holding in tears.
He told me that she wasn't feeling good at all

(55:31):
and asked if I wouldn't mind going back to my
step grandparents. The day after, her wife said that maybe
they should send me back to Vancouver and I could
stay with my uncle, and my mom just got so angry.
I actually got really scared. They're just sending ope everywhere.
She went on a rant about how she's not going
to let me see him, and how he's been trying
to turn me against her, and he just hates her

(55:51):
because she doesn't have AIDS trauma that it makes sense
because my uncle doesn't have AIDS, and she said he
needs to get over himself and remember that my is
his brother, not his son, and to focus on his
actual granddaughter. I feel like she's mad because the uncle
is showing them up and being a good parental figure
over her exactly.

Speaker 2 (56:11):
She's like, Oh, you're gonna make me look bad because
you know, I know I'm being a crap mom, and
here we are being a great uncle and actually caring
for her.

Speaker 1 (56:19):
Who Yeah, they feel threatened, Yes, feel threatened one thousand percent.
Her wife tried to calm her down, but then she
just yelled out that she wishes that my uncle would
just effing pass away. That was the worst decision of
her life to pity my dad and to not just
take me with her when she left. I really didn't
know that she hated him that much. Like when I
was younger. They were always so close and Dad would

(56:40):
even joke sometimes about her stealing his brother. I honestly
started crying really badly because he is my favorite uncle.
But that just made my mom angrier, and she was
like to her wife that it just proves that nobody
understands and that my uncle is trying to steal me
because I'm the best thing in her life. Maybe you
should just be a better mam. Then she actually yelled
at me to effing's up, crying that I cried more

(57:02):
than I did when I was a baby, and she
said the thing about me not getting a husband again.
Her wife just took my mom to their room and
they left me on the couch. I didn't know, I
just couldn't stop crying, and I just fell asleep there
because I didn't feel like I could move. In the morning,
I woke up and was still on the couch, but
there was a blanket on me and my head was
in my mom's lap. I really felt like crying again,

(57:22):
but I held it in. Then my mom actually said sorry. See,
she said she doesn't know what's been happening to her
since we saw the movie, but it was no excuse
to yell at me for crying. She was so sorry
that she hurt me so badly, and she was starting
to understand how horrible she's been to me over the
entire winter break, how about the entire couple years. Yes,
let's do that. Let's not just acknowledge this little thing.

Speaker 2 (57:45):
And also it just feels so disingenuine and just like, oh,
apologize to just be able to go right back to
it exactly, it's like, actually make a change.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
Yes.

Speaker 6 (57:55):
Also, I just I'm looking through some of the comments.
She's only thirty five turning thirty six.

Speaker 1 (58:01):
The mom moves, Oh so she had op like pretty
young twwenty Oh wow. She called her wife over and
made her apologize to me too. After breakfast. We had
a really big, long talk about how she was feeling.
She seemed really sorry and said she would never get
mad at me for crying again. But what mattered to
me when she said she was sorry that she took
out all her anger on my uncle and put it

(58:22):
on me. He said it was wrong to do that
and wrong to let me know how she feels, because
it would be wrong to make me stop loving him good.
He said, she knows I might not forgive her, but
even if I do, she'll never forgive herself. He promised
to try to change back to who I need her
to be so we can get back to normal. She
did offer to let me go to him, and I
don't know why I didn't say yes, but I kind

(58:42):
of felt like I still had to stay. I talked
to her wife, too, and she said he was really
sorry for what happened because she'd never seen my mom
that way before. Just wanted to calm things down. She
told me she was wrong not to take my side,
and apparently my mom was mad at her for not
doing that. He felt really guilty, and she's the one
that put the blanket on me. She stayed by me
until four am, when my mom came and took over.

(59:03):
She also said she'd do whatever it took to get
my forgiveness and wished she'd never hurt me. She told
me I've been become such an important part of her
life and she's so grateful. I love her parents. For
the rest of the break, my mom didn't really talk
that much. She did start eating, but it wasn't that much.
My step grandparents came over every day to check on me.
Thank God the step grandparents are there. Mom did seem
to get a little bit better on New Year's and

(59:25):
every time I'd ask how she felt, though, you'd just
say she's fine, and it's her job to worry about me,
not the other way around. But you're not giving op
a lot of opportunities to not worry about you.

Speaker 3 (59:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
I did go home the day after New Year's because
school was starting, but I had to go back on Friday.
I just got back Sunday night because I had a
meeting at UVic. Mom seemed really different when I saw
her again. She seems smaller now, and she definitely looks skinnier.
I know it's been only two weeks, but she seems
skinnier and she still seems sad, but like she was
at least pretending to be happy. The meeting at YUVIC
went really well, and it really does seem like an

(59:58):
amazing place to go to school. Even though I don't
know if I want to do engineering anymore, there's still
a lot there. My mom did make me sign up
to go check up UBCs if you len Gara Langera
as well. She also said she's going with her wife
to Ontario in February and we could do a road
trip together while her wife is working. We can check
out other universities like Waterloo, McMaster and uf T. She

(01:00:20):
said she wanted me to know I can choose to
go to them, but she's confident that I'll come to her,
and I'm confident that it'll come to us. For full
episodes of stories, just like this, but maybe a little
less stressful, just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your
favorite podcast app and search. Okay, storytime, there's another elevant update,
but let's discuss. Oh, it's been a journey. I don't

(01:00:42):
even know if we're turning a full leaf here.

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
I don't know, you know, I mean, I think we
have the uncle, we have the step grandparents, so you
have the step grandparents. I think it's honestly, op sixteen,
I think this is the beginning of a long journey
to get to a place where she can kind of
realizes what the mom is doing and figures out the
right balance of like, you know, engaging with her, but

(01:01:07):
then more importantly, getting the actual love, care and attention
from the people who do love her and care for
her like like they should.

Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
And I feel like, I feel like OPI is on
the path, but I think it's going to take some Yeah,
it's going to take some time. And I really do
think she just needs to distance herself from her mom.
I mean, is a mess. Live with Gary, live with uncle, yeah. Yeah.
But aside from the meeting, he didn't leave home at all.
I did get to hang out with my step grandparents.

(01:01:34):
When I was there, she couddled me almost the entire
day unless we were eating. Her wife told me she
was working from home. I don't know what to make
of any of it, Like if this means I'm getting
my mom back like she used to be, or she's
going to keep changing, or she's depressed now. I wasn't
planning on posting, but I feel like I need people's
opinions on what could be happening to her, and that

(01:01:55):
is where that story ends. Benito, whoo who baby, So
let us know what you think op should do. Please.
I feel like Opie needs distance from the mom. Stay
with the step grandparents, stay with the uncle. But I think,
get away from all these terrible adults that they're giving
you so much bad advice. Get therapy. Get your mom

(01:02:18):
to get therapy, got everyone, get your daddy, get therapy. Yeah,
everyone needs it, but I think the therapist is right, like,
see what your life is without your mom, because I
feel like she's just giving her nothing but pain. Agreed,
that is where that story ends. So if you love us,
makes her to subscribe. We love you and see it
tomorrow