My mother in law demanded we get a paternity test…so now she’s not allowed to hold the baby! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, John, you're under arrest. Oh no, don't do it.

(00:03):
I'm an og Okay story Time podcast host.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
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for the next two minutes.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
All right, I'll be detained for the two more minutes
before we get into this episode.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Yeah, we got some ads coming up. Just stick around.
Stick around.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
My mother in law demanded we get a paternity test,
so now she's not allowed to hold the baby.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
That's what you get.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
And it's I'm Not your Father week on Okay Storytime
and we're diving into jaw dropping paternity twists and family
confessions that I'll have you asking is this really my dad?
But let's dive into this one. I twenty eight female,
gave birth to my first child, a beautiful baby girl,
three weeks ago. My husband, thirty mail, and I have

(00:44):
been over the moon, but his mother has been causing
non stop drama. By the way, this comes from Commercial
East three h two And if you want to spend
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story
Time suburt it. So she never liked me from the start.
She may snide comments about how I trapped her son,
even though we've been happily married for four years. What

(01:06):
is your husband doing about this? When I got pregnant,
she constantly joked about how the baby might not be his.

Speaker 4 (01:13):
No, I just think she's hoping for that.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
It's like baby, hopefully it's not his.

Speaker 4 (01:18):
She's praying every night.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
He can leave you. I brush it off as her
usual passive aggressive behavior until I found out she took
it way further. Two days after I gave birth, my
husband got a text from his mom saying, you should
get a DNA test. You never know these days. I
was devastated when I saw it. My husband was furious
and told her off, saying he had zero doubts about

(01:41):
me and that her comment was disgusting. She tried to backtrack,
saying she was just looking out for him. Now she
wants to come over and meet the baby, but I
told my husband that she will not be holding our daughter.
She cannot have it both way if she wants to
question whether my child is even her grandchild, and she
doesn't get the privilege of bonding with her. My husband

(02:03):
understands why I'm upset, but he thinks we should let
her come just once so she doesn't play the victim
with the rest of the family. Now she's crying to
everyone's saying I'm keeping her granddaughter from her and that
I'm punishing her overall harmless question. Some family members think
I'm being dramatic and should be the bigger person. But
why should I let someone who disrespected me and my

(02:25):
child hold her like nothing happened? Am I the ale
for refusing to let her hold my baby? And there
is an update?

Speaker 5 (02:33):
Well?

Speaker 3 (02:33):
I wish I could say things got better, but mother
in law made sure that didn't happen. After my husband
told her off, I thought she'd at least try to apologize,
but instead she doubled down. She started calling my husband,
telling him I was churning him against her his own mother,
and that I was overreacting to a simple question. She
even pulled the classic victim ma ac, crying to the

(02:54):
rest of the family about how I was keeping her
grandbaby from her. Then things took a ridiction a Kila's turn.
I found out from my sister in law that mother
in law was actually trying to get a DNA test
done behind our backs. Apparently she was hoping to get
a strand of my baby's hair or some spit to
confirm the truth. When my sister in law told me,
I was absolutely done. I told my husband that until

(03:18):
she apologizes, not a fake i'm sorry you're mad apology,
but a real one, she's not welcome around me or
my daughter. Thankfully, my husband backed me up one hundred percent.

Speaker 4 (03:28):
All right.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
He told his mother that if she can't respect his
wife and child, then she doesn't deserve to be a
part of our lives.

Speaker 4 (03:34):
We never see sons like this.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (03:37):
Usually the sons are like, whatever you say, mom, your mom.

Speaker 3 (03:40):
Mom says that you cheated on me, So I guess
I have to agree with her.

Speaker 4 (03:44):
Just spit in this copproop work.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
Can you spit in it? Please? Thank you? Mother in
law lost it. She went full drama mode, telling everyone
I was tearing the family apart and that she might
not ever recover from this heartbreak. Oh boy, At this point,
I don't even care. She disrespected me, she disrespected my marriage,
and she disrespected my child's actions have concert quin sais

(04:09):
so yeah. Mother in law still hasn't met the baby,
and unless she does some serious apologizing and self reflection,
she won't be anytime soon.

Speaker 5 (04:19):
Am I the ale?

Speaker 3 (04:20):
And there are some relevant comments.

Speaker 4 (04:23):
No I don't think so.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
No, I think you're in the clear man.

Speaker 4 (04:26):
Yeah, you're good. Why are you here?

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Why are we even here? You're in the wrong subreddit.

Speaker 4 (04:29):
Yeah, you're in the wrong one.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
They should be in. Just no mother in law.

Speaker 4 (04:32):
Yeah, you need to go to that subreddit.

Speaker 3 (04:34):
Yeah, your mother in law is whacked because usually.

Speaker 4 (04:36):
People going to am I the A hole because everyone
in their lives Yeah, saying you're the a whole are
saying you're the a whole.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
But the husband's on our side.

Speaker 4 (04:43):
And I know the baby's on your side.

Speaker 3 (04:45):
Or baby's so so on your side.

Speaker 4 (04:47):
I just confused, why you're here? Are you just coming
to rent? If you're just come to rent? Okay, cool,
that's totally fine. It's a great story.

Speaker 3 (04:53):
GRAPHI fifty seven says, for one, it wasn't a harmless question.
If a person was harmed by it, I wouldn't be
allowing her near the child because at some stage she
will gather enough genetic material to do a quiet DNA
test to make sure nothing harmful there. Dear let her
play the victim, but the moment any family member comments
point out that she has already expressed doubt that the

(05:15):
child is in fact her grandchild, So what's the problem.
Not the ale commercial East three Poho two says exactly
a question. Isn't a harmless if it causes harm? And honestly,
I wouldn't put it past her to secretly colect DNA
just to verify things on her own. We already know
that's what she tried to do. We already know that's
her plant. She already doubts her grandchild's paternity. Why should

(05:37):
she get the privilege of being close to her? And
there is an update, so let's get into it. Well,
I wish I could say things got better, but nope,
my mother in laws somehow managed to make things worse.

Speaker 4 (05:48):
She's doubling down. Usually whenever you bet, yeah, you're like,
I'm gonna go double or nothing. That's what the mother
law's doing here.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah. She was like, you know what, I'm also gonna
say that Op is not even her mom's child. I'm
gonna go one generation further. I'm actually going to say
that my son's not even my son. Oh there you go.

Speaker 4 (06:05):
I thought she was gonna be like, Oh, this is
the person that you know you cheated with, this is
actually the real dad. Make up a whole story.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
About it, that makes more sense. Yeah, this person.

Speaker 4 (06:15):
Does not really have their mind together, so they could
be going down that route too.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
After I refuse to let her hold my baby, she
went on a full blown smear campaign against me. She
told the extended family that I was controlling and keeping
our granddaughter away out of spite. She conveniently left out
the part where she accused me of cheating and demanded
a DNA test. The worst part. My husband is starting
to waiver. He still thinks what she said it was disgusting,

(06:40):
But now that some relatives are siding with her and
saying I'm being too harsh, he's wondering if we should
just let her see the baby once and move on.
I told them point blank, she questioned our child's paternity.
She disrespected me and by extension, you and your daughter.
If we let this slide, what's next? I agree, Yeah,

(07:01):
she's gonna give her an inch, She could take a mile.

Speaker 4 (07:03):
Just thinking what else she would do? Yeah, she probably will,
you know, break up your marriage absolutely.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
I mean, if this is where she's already at, she
is going to go to you know, many lengths to
try and destroy your guys's marriage.

Speaker 4 (07:17):
Yeah, I definitely break up your marriage, and then she's
gonna force your ex husband to have her move in
with him, and then she's gonna have the baby alder himself,
and then you're not gonna have cut study. Yeah, that's
what's gonna happen.

Speaker 3 (07:28):
I agree. Now he's torn. I can tell he wants
to back me up, but he also doesn't want to
be the bad guy in his family's eye. I don't
care about being the villain and mother in law's story,
but I do care about my husband having my back.
So now I'm wondering, am I fighting a losing battle? Here?
Is this the hill I should pass away on? Because
right now it feels like mother in law is winning

(07:50):
by playing the victim, and I'm the one being treated
like the unreasonable one. Relevant comments She was hoping to
get a strand of baby's hair or some spit to
confirm the truth. So if her truth is that the
baby isn't your husband's, why does she care if you're
keeping her granddaughter away from her and that I'm punishing
her over a harmless question. If her truth is that

(08:11):
it's not as kid, then it's not her grandchild. She
can't have it both ways. I would so be saying
that to every flying monkey. Mother in law is convinced
I cheated on a husband and it's not his baby.
Therefore she believes it's not our granddaughter. So by her truth,
I'm not keeping her from her granddaughter because according to her,
our baby isn't her granddaughter. She can't have it both ways.

Speaker 4 (08:34):
What do you want? Do you want a granddaughter or
do you want your daughter me.

Speaker 3 (08:37):
To have cheated on yourself. You gotta pick one, Commerciall
East three h two oh, which is ope? I realize
now exactly. She either believes she's not related and shouldn't care,
or she knows she was full of it from the
start and just wanted to stir the pot. Either way,
I'm not playing into her nonsense and that is the
end of that story.

Speaker 4 (08:55):
This is textbook how to shut down yeah in your family.

Speaker 3 (09:02):
I agree with people's just like, uh, you were telling
lies about me so you can't see your granddaughter now.

Speaker 4 (09:07):
First step, got on the same page with your husband.
Second step, talk to the problem. Third step, put boundaries up.
That's going in the textbook. We should make a textbook
one hundred and one ways to communicate or like you
can think of the book name.

Speaker 3 (09:22):
I'll work on the titles.

Speaker 4 (09:23):
It's like one hundred and one, but it's like, you know,
one hundred, Like it's each one is like how to
ask out someone. It's like if you have if it's
from dating app, do this, if you've been friends with
them for years, do this.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
You know, one hundred and one ways to stand in
a relationship.

Speaker 4 (09:40):
But they're all they are is every single one is
just steps to take in order, like this happens, do this,
And it has a beautiful all you know what my
favorite thing is. Yeah, I put a table in context
in my scrap book for Angie.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
Yeah, it's so cute.

Speaker 4 (09:55):
That was my favorite thing to do.

Speaker 5 (09:56):
I love that.

Speaker 4 (09:57):
We should do that Mother in Law how to deal
with mother loss for sure. And it has a bunch
of if ands or wins in it and they're all
formula based. Oh, it's so good. And then we make
a part two, two hundred and two ways, three hundred
and three ways. They're like, you know all that SOPs
we do. Yeah, it's just a book of that.

Speaker 3 (10:14):
It's just a book of sps.

Speaker 4 (10:15):
And we have videos. Our videos are links to each
one of our YouTube.

Speaker 3 (10:19):
Things brilliant and you just have QR codes.

Speaker 4 (10:22):
We can come up with ideas together and then you
can write them well and I can help with like
all the little technical things in the layout.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
Dude, we're geniuses. But that was the end of that story.

Speaker 4 (10:31):
And guys, we have one more day of I'm Not
Your Father Week coming up. Tune in tomorrow see the
crazy stories. And it has to deal with a sister
in law getting a lit it out of hand.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
My mother won't stop nagging me to have children, so
I hung up on her.

Speaker 3 (10:50):
Has she tried putting a bad newspaper?

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Oh, it might work. So my husband and I have
been married for around six years. We currently have no
children because we feel like right now is not the
right time. My parents are very eager for grandchildren, to
the point where they asked me where are we going
to have kids? Every few months. By the way, this
comes from a certain ears three six five zero And

(11:16):
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
our slash Okay storytime suppurat in. So over the years
I've explained to them that we will have kids when
we feel like it's right for us, but they aren't
satisfied with this answer. My mother especially asks very personal
questions about our spicy sleep wife, which I don't answer
other than saying we use birth control.

Speaker 4 (11:38):
She know if you're doing it wrong.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
My mother and I got in through an argument over
a month ago. Once again, the question of kids came
back up, and I said the decision for us to
have kids was between my husband and I. She continued
to push, saying that maybe I should seek medical help. Eventually,
fed up with this conversation, I said that we either
change topic or we hang up. First, she said that

(12:03):
she was just trying to help, try help, that I
was already thirty and only had a few more years
of peak fertility and reduce risk for miscarriage, that having
kids at a young age would mean be me being
able to keep up with them, which I do agree with.
Then she said that it's better to talk to her,
otherwise my father would call my husband and ask him,

(12:24):
which I said, she doesn't need to be the middleman.
He should stop hiding behind her and talk to us directly.
How relatives are asking her again and again, I said
that if they have a problem, direct them to me.
I tried to change the topic, but she brought it
right back up. I asked her respect to the boundaries,
and that was ignored. After more back and forth, I

(12:47):
said that since we have nothing else to talk about,
I think we should hang up. My mother got angry
and said that she is my mother. I couldn't hang
up on her. I kept on repeating that we should
change the topic, but she wouldn't hear any of it. Finally,
I said that I'm hanging up and told her goodbye
three times as a warning, hoping she would understand that

(13:07):
was serious. I hung up. I made sure this entire
interaction to speak in a calm voice, even though I
wanted to yell. I am a adults and I expect
to be treated as one. Maybe maybe I could have
handled the argument better. Was it wrong to hang up
on her? I don't know how I could have ended
the conversation any other way, and he'd her to understand

(13:30):
that I'm adult and while I appreciate her worry, this
is not a conversation I want to have with her anymore.
She's not responding to calls. She'd probably leave her a
text any advice. Was there something else they should do?
There's another update WHA coming up. But question, Angie April
James Ishan, do you think Op's and a hole for
hanging up on their mother after the mother insisted that

(13:52):
she had grand babies right now, whether it be by
doing it raw artificial insemination, sir or goats.

Speaker 6 (14:02):
Good quick answers yes or no, I say no, no, no, no.

Speaker 5 (14:07):
No, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
I think it's mama, Mama, Mama, mama. Push. She overstepped absolute.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
I mean, Opie also warned the mom too.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
Exactly, I'm gonna I'm gonna hang.

Speaker 3 (14:19):
Up on you. That seems pretty fair.

Speaker 7 (14:21):
That's what's I think Mama has been seeing her friends
post their grandchildren on Facebook too much, and now she's like, yeah,
you know, feeling some type of way, but yeah, I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
We do have an update, rush this on your rug
and move on with my life. But I don't think
she feels the same. Yesterday we had a big religious holiday,
I think Christmas level. I debate. I debated whether I
should call my mom after the way she had been
treating me, but felt it would be rude and not
help the situation to not at least wish her a
happy holiday. I call her, She picks up says hello.

(14:54):
Before I even have a chance to say hello back.
She's talking to someone else in the background. I fig
that she was in the middle of the conversation, so
I waited. After thirty seconds, she switches to video chat.
Here I'm thinking she wants to see me and we
can reconcile. She has the camera pointed away from her,
showing my little cousins having fun with their new toys

(15:15):
and talking to my uncle or aunt. She doesn't talk
to me or let anyone know that I'm on the phone,
and after three minutes she hangs up.

Speaker 3 (15:22):
This is very ominous.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
I'm not sure what to do with this. Nothing is
going to get fixed if we don't talk keck. If
she wants me to apologize, which I will not, I
can't do so without talking to her. I don't feel angry.
I feel hurt. She disrespected my clearly stated boundaries, and
now I feel like she's punishing me for standing up
for myself. If she calls me in the future, I
don't think I will answer the call. I want to

(15:45):
text her right now, calling her a petty bee for
not letting things go at least for the holiday, but
I feel like that would show her how hurt and
frustrated I am at her actions. I will continue to
talk to my dad and my siblings who still live
at home, but there will be no calls to her
and no forgiveness. I will not forget this and I
expect a full apology from her for actions. I'm going

(16:06):
full no contact with her, and in June, one another
big holiday comes up, I will not be talking to her.
There is a mini update to see this post getting
more attractions, so I thought i'd give a mini update.
It's been around five months since our fight and my
mother and I still have not talked. She hasn't called
me back, and I no longer reach out. I actually
feel relieved by this, since I didn't realize how much

(16:29):
I dreaded talking to my mom. Is she going to
ask do I have the energy to fight her today?
I'm just going to enjoy the peace, and if she
does decide to call, I'm not looking for an apology.
I'm just going to see if I want to end
my new peaceful existence. At the moments. My father is
keeping resistance, and I don't blame him. He still talks
to me if I call, but not for long. I

(16:50):
don't have a close relationship with him and don't talk
to him often, so it's not that great of a loss.
I made a concerted effort not to involve my siblings
in this. My sister's in school and should focus on
her studies, and my brother is young. We talk often,
but I told them to not get involved. There is
another update. This is an update in summary. My mother

(17:10):
and I got into argument about me not having children
after six years of marriage. After some back and forth,
I hung up on her. She's angry that I don't
listen to her, and I dared to cut her off
by hanging up. I called her several times after, and
she ignored me. I have left her alone until now.
She sent me an extremely long email telling me how
to disrespectful I was, and then I better change my ways.
While reading this email, I thought I was going to cry.

(17:34):
I had to read it in pieces because it's set
me so much. I shared it with my sister and
she did cry. Apparently she's become more religious in the
last few months, and it really shows in this email.
Here's my equally as long draft email response. My husband's
telling me not to respond. Honestly, that's usually the best way.
Abraham Lincoln would send letters, or he would write letters
and then not send them because writing letter is half

(17:57):
of the emotional release, like seventy five percent, so I
shouldn't ignore hers, like treat it others the way you
want to be treated, and so on. Do I want
to make up No, but saying the door is open
makes me out to be the better person. I want
to write about all the hurt she has inflicted on me,
but that would have been a fifteen page essay. I
want to talk about how she talks to my cousin's aunts, uncles,

(18:18):
and in laws about me being childless, in the attempt
that will talk to me about it. Since I won't
listen to her, maybe I'll listen to others. I know
for a fact she's currently trying to manipulate my grandfather,
but my grandpa is holding her off, not wanting to
be involved in her bs. I want to talk about
how the first contact I had from her in months
was this evil email where she told me that because

(18:41):
I'm disrespectful in her eyes, I'm going to he that's whack.
This isn't the letter to reconcile or even in OH,
I miss you, Let's not fight? Can we please move on?
I love you, but a throw gasoline and burn it
until not even ashes remain kind of email. How she
thinks this email will saw anything or make me change
my mind is beyond me. So Mama set and sent

(19:04):
an email that's like, I don't know, unspeakable. Basically, I
can't imagine what she's trying to achieve other than getting
me to respond. Maybe I shouldn't respond. Maybe she's so
mad that I haven't crawled back to her and she's
attempting to provoke a response. Should I send this email.
I'm going to visit my hometown soon after two years,
and I will not be visiting her house. It's sad

(19:24):
that I won't be able to see my siblings, but
they understand. I just spoke to my sister and she
said that Mom confiscated her phone laptop and was looking
through it. She has gone full psycho. This is the
last time I'm going to talk to her until she
changes her ways. If she tries to force a confrontation,
I will leave. I'm definitely not dealing with this narcissistic
behavior anymore. I'll update if anything big happens. By the way,

(19:46):
something big has just happened, and it's our podcast that
releases every day on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and everywhere get podcasts,
so listen, okay, storytime wherever you get podcasts. But we
got a little bit more. I kind of knew I
shouldn't send the email, but I really need to get
my thoughts out there. My parents don't do emotions. I
vividly remember at eight years old, being upset by something

(20:09):
and crying in front of them, and they ignored me,
continuing to watch TV. I learned early on that crying
doesn't work. It wasn't until after I wrote the email
and was writing this post that I thought, what is
she hoping to accomplish? That I realized all she wanted
was a reaction. So Mama isn't actually trying to solve anything.
She just wants you to be mad.

Speaker 3 (20:29):
Of course, of course not.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
Thank you for all the people that mentioned the gray
box method. What's that? I had never heard of it,
but I had been following it my entire life. It
recommended short, one word answers, noncommittal. So I'm going to
reply back with I see that's nice or okay, nice
hearing from you. I'll reply on Friday. Give it a
few days, and at two I ended up not replying

(20:52):
at all. I realized that I was hoping that if
I gave her a short, one word reply, I would
drive her crazy. I wanted to hurt her and I
don't want to be that kind of person. Let it
be and live my life.

Speaker 3 (21:05):
Wow. Wow, that's the end.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
That's the end. So it looks like op uh is
kind of taking the high road at the end of
the day. That's good, which is kind of good if
forgetting an email like what it seems like she got
like I can I think that's I think that's the
best move.

Speaker 3 (21:22):
Yeah, And I mean to the mom, it's not that
big of a deal. I don't This feels like I
saw that out of proportion. Yeah, from like on the
mom's side.

Speaker 2 (21:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (21:31):
Oh man, I accidentally revealed why I broke up with
my ex. His girlfriend left him after that. I twenty
seven mel. I had a relationship with him. It's called
Mikey twenty six Mal. Around five years ago. Mikey and
I met at college and started his friends, then turned
into a couple. We lasted almost two years, but I
broke up with him three months before reaching that date.
By the way, this comes from Tonight Lost fifty seven

(21:53):
and if you want to be your old stories, go
to our social okay stories I'm subredding. So the summarized
reason on why we broke up was because he didn't
give me my place as his partner and prioritized time
with any other person that wasn't me. I'm not saying
like the he wasn't with me twenty four to seven
kind of thing, but the we agreed to a date
to hang out together and he canceled on me for

(22:15):
the eighth consecutive time to hang out with his friend's
kind of thing. It wasn't the lack of love or
cheating on behalf of no one, and I tried to
break up with him thrice, with him begging for another chance,
and each time with him doing absolutely nothing to change.
So the fourth was definite one, and despite him asking
to get back together, I stood my ground and ignored

(22:36):
him for at least six months before talking to him again.
By the time I talked to him again, I had
already moved on. I'm not sure if he did too
by that time, but I was clear in me not
to have romantic feelings anymore, and that I was willing
to be friends again because I missed him as he
was my best friend previous to our relationship. I put
some strong boundaries, like not trying to make a move

(22:58):
on me ever again, and and many others I don't
find relevant for this post, and he seemed fine with him.
Now we are not the bestest of friends. We are
just friendly to each other, but we're not awkward about
not having the same level of friendship than before, since
we used to be more physically affectionate now and now
we aren't. I dated some people, but I'm currently single

(23:18):
and he's gotten into a relationship a few weeks ago
with Carly. We knew Carly way before being friends or
getting together, and both me and Mikey loved her because
she is a genuinely amazing girl. When they announced they
were together, I was happy for them, but at the
same time, I was low key worried about her, since
apparently what broke my relationship with Mikey happened with his
previous partners too, according to what he said to me himself,

(23:43):
So I was a bit concerned that he would try
and pull that same card with her, but ultimately decided
to not intervene since his new relationship was not my business.

Speaker 6 (23:51):
Now just enlightened, I like that, that's yeh. Mind your
Sometimes you gotta mind your business.

Speaker 4 (23:55):
Because Mikey's your boy. If you heard something about Carly,
I'd be like, yo, this is what I heard about
car But Carly's not your girl. Carly and you were
not like super tight. So but it does suck that,
you know. But if Carly here we go, Carly comes
to you, Hey, is there so much to be worried about?

Speaker 6 (24:08):
Boom, there you go. Yeah, don't don't just do it unprompted.
But if you're asked for the info, go ahead.

Speaker 3 (24:14):
Well.

Speaker 4 (24:14):
I ended up unintentionally intervening, kind of. We were all
hanging out with friends three weeks ago when we started
talking about relationships and I commented how I was fine
at the time being single and getting occasional matches on Tender.
I used to be very active on Tender before, but
now I slowed down a lot, and I'm much happier
being by myself. He said something like, huh, I haven't

(24:36):
found someone to leach onto yet. I was a bit
surprised by his comment, because, first of all, it wasn't
like him to say something like that. I thought someone
else said it before realizing it was him after everyone
turned to look at him, as as shocked as I was.
And second of all, what the heck, why does he
suddenly have the audacity to say it as if I
was always demanding his attention. I honestly ended up playing

(24:59):
dumb and trying to stay clueless as possible. What do
you mean? I don't think he was trying to mock me,
because the entire time he had a dead serious expression,
like it seemed he actually believed I was the one
being clingy. He responded, you know, man, like those times
you got mad at me for going out with my
friends and stuff like that. When I tried to act

(25:20):
nonchalant and said, oh yeah, I remember, Yeah, I was
pretty mad back then. I was expecting that we could
go on our day as promised, but you canceled again
to go out with friends without telling me in time.
But it wasn't even lee ching, and it happened a
long time ago. Why are you bringing it up now
in front of everyone?

Speaker 6 (25:37):
Yeah, that was a weird power play. Then that's gonna
get uno reverse card, right.

Speaker 4 (25:41):
Yeah, I got you.

Speaker 5 (25:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (25:42):
I recently had a conflict with someone and uh, it
didn't go well, and it was in front of someone else,
and I just like still know what to do with myself.

Speaker 6 (25:50):
You got to play there and it was the role
of peace. Oh so it was just like you misspoke,
essentially basically oof. Yeah, I hate when that happens.

Speaker 4 (25:57):
That's happened to me, and it just didn't go the
way a planning.

Speaker 6 (26:00):
Yeah, no, that's crazy, especially when it's like given the
context is like he's going to hang out with his friends,
and it's like we had a date. But couldn't you
at least be like, yeah, do you want to come
hang out with my friends too? Like you just completely
ditched your partner multiple times over and over again.

Speaker 4 (26:14):
Carly looked at him a bit confused, like expecting him
to clarify what I meant, and he said, well, as
I said before, I wasn't gonna choose between my friends
and my boyfriend. Both were important to me. So maybe
it's good you stay single for a while. The world
doesn't spend around you, you know. Carly seemed a bit
shocked by his response, which I understand since my key

(26:36):
is usually a really gentle and loving guy as a
partner and as a pretender, and tends to be extremely romance.
I got first before pulling out, so the sudden accusation
towards me seemed very out of character. I replied, well,
it's obvious the world doesn't spend around me, but we
were planning to get married. Wasn't in a good enough
motive to prioritize me a little bit more? Because I
did prioritize you, and you even promised me to change

(26:59):
every time I try to break up with you, So
of course you knew you had to prioritize me. You
just didn't want to. Mikey seemed like he wanted to
argue more, and I stared at him in silence, waiting
for his reply, but he kept quiet instead and didn't
say anything while he kept sulking. The rest of the hangout,
my friends and I moved on from the awkward moment,

(27:20):
but Carly and Mikey obviously didn't. Cary looked very conflicted
and deep in her thoughts. After that. We all eventually
left to our homes and nothing eventful happened until this morning.
I must remind you three weeks of past and I
kind of forgot about the small argument I had with
Mikey during that hangout, especially because we tend to go
out with our friends almost daily. But around three days ago,

(27:41):
Carle stopped showing up and Mikey excused her, saying she
was feeling under the weather and that's why she wasn't coming.
Then yesterday Carly suddenly left the group chat without a word.
We were all confused and a bit worried, but she
sent a DM to everyone assuring she was fine and
that she wasn't mad with us or any dangerous situation situation,
which calmed us down a lot. But unlike the messages

(28:03):
she sent to the rest of us my friends, Harley
sent me a longer and to tell the truth somewhat
sad one. She first started the explanation she sent to
everyone that she was fine, and then proceeded to tell
me that after hearing what I said about Mikey about
a relationship, she started having her doubts because she had
a really similar experience to what I was describing in

(28:24):
a previous relationship, with the much more heavier stuff going
on that I won't detail here, but it was a
very emotional, harmful and draining relationship, and she didn't like. Oh.
He responded to me when I argued that he should
have prioritized me much more than he had done. So
I think Mikey probably yelled or like had like a
kind of vibe I.

Speaker 6 (28:43):
Think it would be while sitting next to your partner,
going like, yeah, I told you person who I was
considering marrying, I won't be made to choose between you
and my friends.

Speaker 5 (28:54):
And then she's probably there like.

Speaker 6 (28:55):
Uh, but you would maybe choose me over your friends
if we were gonna get married, right, Like, what's.

Speaker 5 (29:03):
The weird thing to say? It's just a yeah, I
don't know what he was on.

Speaker 3 (29:07):
Man.

Speaker 4 (29:07):
She feared he would do the same to her, so
before taking any decisions, she sat him down and asked
him about his priorities in line and yeah, she found out,
while he was eager to compromise like he did when
we were a couple, he pretty much didn't want to
prioritize her enough and excused himself on the fact that
he was an emotionally invasive type and has always been,

(29:28):
basically implying he was like that and he probably wouldn't change.
She broke up with him, and she was still pretty sad.
She told me she wasn't sure if it was the
best decision, since Mikey was a wonderful guy, but the
thought of him doing the same to her once again,
gave her so much anxiety she had to get out
as speedy and as possible. She asked me not to reply,

(29:50):
but she appreciated me and thanks me for everything. We
weren't really close friends, but we got along really great.
I didn't reply like she asked, but left a hugging
emoji just to let her I read it. A whole
different story can be said about Mikey, though. He is
devastated and does it seem to understand why she left him,
and is seriously thinking of asking her for another chance,

(30:12):
even when she denied it when she broke up with
him in person.

Speaker 6 (30:15):
Oh wait a minute, is Mikey not being emotionally evasive
right now?

Speaker 5 (30:20):
Ooh?

Speaker 6 (30:21):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (30:21):
What is that? I feel like Mikey. There's a checkbox
on Mikey's list, and that's a partner. And once that's good,
he's like, I don't have to worry about finding anyone else.
I can just go out do my own thing, hang out.
But when that box is not checked, inside, little Hamster's
going crazy.

Speaker 5 (30:39):
Yeah. I don't know what I mean, what the mental
of that is?

Speaker 6 (30:42):
Like, wait a minute, I don't have a partner to
neglect anymore. But but who am I gonna Who am
I gonna neglect? Will I choose to hang out with
my friends instead.

Speaker 4 (30:51):
I had to give him a mental smack by scolding
him and telling him that he should put himself together
and stop being mediocre in his relationships because he only
and everyone leaves him is because he doesn't put any
effort into his relationships. He got mad and said I
had no business in his relationships and that I didn't
have to say unnecessary stuff to his girlfriend. Well now, X,

(31:14):
because I put her against him and now she thought
he didn't love her, which is not what she said
or thought at all. I kind of chuckled because how
ridiculous he was being and said, all right, bro whatever
and laugh thinking about it, Maybe I was a knucklehead
telling him all that stuff now, and I've should have
been jinseller about it since he is having a breakup.

(31:35):
I don't blame myself for telling him his truths in
front of his girlfriend because he brought it up first.
But maybe I could have handled it better and changed
the topic since the beginning. I don't know. I'm confused,
and part of me feels guilty since a relationship ended
because of what I said, Am I the a whole?
I don't think you're like the a hole at all.

Speaker 6 (31:56):
I mean if you had brought it up first at
that list gathering, like he literally like took a shot
at you, and then you were just like, uh, defense deflect.

Speaker 5 (32:06):
Yeah, yeah, here's reality.

Speaker 4 (32:08):
Would you like to reply to that?

Speaker 6 (32:10):
And then he did and you again were like, well, sidestep,
that's not real. Here's what really happened. And then he
literally was yeah, he dug his own grave there. So
I don't know, You're not at fault there at all.

Speaker 4 (32:20):
It's not your fault. Not your fault, guys, what do
you think? But I'm gonna get back into this update now.
I'm updating at this hour of the morning because I
set up all night talking through the phone with my
key and we had a productive conversation. So it turns
out he found my posts and almost since the day
I made it. Lol. I thought of the possibility since

(32:41):
he also uses Reddit, but I wasn't too worried even
if he saw it, because if he saw it from
there the perspective of strangers, maybe he would realize how
foolish he looked. And it worked like a charm because
he did get too self aware of how he was acting.
He stopped talking to me for a while after our
last fight, but honestly, I was a bit too dumb
with him to care. I was like, if this is

(33:02):
how our friendship ends, then this is gonna be on
him because I didn't do anything wrong. Honestly, I'm a
bit too prideful, especially when I didn't even do the
first attack, so I mentally refused to apologize to him
since he was the one responsible for messing up his relationships. Well,
last night, he texted me the link to my post, saying,
you didn't have to describe me like that. I asked him,

(33:23):
did I lie? And he didn't reply for a while,
but called me a few minutes later and we spent
the night talking about the issue so well, he told
me after Carly broke up with him, she tried giving
him another chance because, like I said, he was a
really sweet guy and she really liked him. He didn't
want to try it again too, but apparently he said
something about me that really annoyed her. He didn't want

(33:46):
to tell me what it was. I think what he
said was to mock me, because he said I would
get mad if I knew, which already got me really irritated,
but I didn't want to make a fuss because I
still wanted to hear what happened.

Speaker 6 (33:57):
To Let me get this straight, you get broken up
with by your girlfriend because you said some out of
pocket crap about OP. You managed to get back together
with her, she gives you another chance. Then you say
more out of pocket crap about OP your ex, and
she leaves you again.

Speaker 4 (34:12):
Yeah, you're a fool, my guy. I didn't elaborate in
my previous post, but even though we weren't close, Carly
said to me and also my key, she appreciated me
for a few favors I did when she needed them.
I did tell her at times she didn't need to
compensate me and just return the favors when I needed them,
and she did so. Even if we didn't talk too much,

(34:33):
we still got along really well and would consider each
other good friends. So when he said that, she got
angry with him, not in an aggressive way, because she
is not like that, but she got cold with him,
and after avoiding him like the plug for some time,
she broke up with him. She said she didn't like
the fact he wouldn't lit his crap together, and that
he mocked me even when he was the one starting

(34:56):
the petty argument, and I just defended myself.

Speaker 5 (34:59):
I'm trying.

Speaker 4 (35:00):
I'm not like, does seem like a bad guy. He
just doesn't. It's just not clicking with him.

Speaker 5 (35:03):
He just didn't know how to not run his mouth.
From the sound of things. Yeah, he's just a very
like MEMI me all about me kind of person.

Speaker 4 (35:10):
And you can't tell them that he's wrong with.

Speaker 6 (35:11):
Any person who's like I need a partner and I
need you know, I want you to like be with
me and you can't leave me, and blah blah blah
and then bye. By the way, it's gonna be completely
emotionally uh what emotionally avoidant. And I'm always if it
comes down to we have a date night. But my
buddy's like, oo, come movie, We're gonna watch uh Lord
of the Rings for the seventeenth time. I'm gonna go
hang out with them, and it's like, and by the way,

(35:34):
my ex is smelly and I hate them.

Speaker 5 (35:35):
It's like, dude, stop it.

Speaker 3 (35:37):
You're you're just.

Speaker 5 (35:37):
Motor mounting your way into the into the ground.

Speaker 4 (35:40):
She has been rejecting his calls and blocked him, and
when he cooled down from the breakup, he started reflecting
on his behavior. He apologized to me and acknowledged that
he was being a butt. Like I said at the
start of the update, Mikey found my post, which only
made him more resentful towards me. When he read it,
he started feeling self conscious about his attitude, but was
in denial. He didn't sell anyone because that would mean

(36:03):
he would have to show them the post and potentially
have them agree with me. So basically, he knew that
if another friend saw the post, it woulde hundred disagree
with my key and that would either hurt his pride
or make him angrier. He didn't want to talk to me,
but after Carly broke up with him, he started to
realize that the argument in the first place was very dumb,

(36:24):
especially over something that we both had already moved on
from a long time ago. He admitted that he felt
a bit hurt when we first talked since our breakup
because I moved on from him way too fast. He
was kind of expecting to get back together after giving
each other a break lol for a few months, and
when I came back to talk to him again, I
was dating another guy, so his hopes were shattered.

Speaker 5 (36:44):
Guy's just toxic. That's toxic. That's a toxic assumption.

Speaker 4 (36:47):
You might be doing word jiu jitsu to get back
with you, or word salsa. He's trying to accept that
we weren't meant to be, even when he said he
was fine with it. And it hurt even more because
I was very firm when I told him I wasn't
interested in him romantically anymore. I honestly didn't know about it.
And while it was not my intention, and maybe it

(37:08):
did hurt that I even resumed contact with him, But
when I said I missed him as a friend, I'm
in it. Outside of those things, he has still been
an amazing friend. He was with me when I lost
both my parents in an accident. We graduated together, and
he even took me into his home when I felt alone,
even letting me bring my dogs with me to play
with his dogs. I felt bad because all that time

(37:31):
I thought about my own feelings, but didn't think that
coming back to resume our friendship would hurt him. He
doesn't have romantic feelings for me now, but he was
still salty about it. In his own words by the
way when we ended up talking about our unrelated stuff
he and when we caught the call after he realized
he was getting late to work, So I would say

(37:52):
that we ended the call on good terms. I think
we are back to being friends now, but I won't
push or invite him directly to spend time with me.
I'll only do it when we are with our friend
group to make it less awkward. I feel relieved that
we have talked things out, and thank goodness because I
miss messing around with him. But again, I'll take things easy.
One of our friends even jumped into my DMS asking

(38:13):
if we made up after Mikey sent something to the
friend chat and I interacted with it after ignoring each
other during our argument. When I said yes, he sent
a lot of happy cat stickers. I think he's glad
HE'LLOWO and guys, you can be glad that after the story,
there's a place for you, a place for your ear holes,
and that is where to go to.

Speaker 6 (38:32):
iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple podcasts, I mean even YouTube has a
podcast section. You can find us on anywhere you listen
to podcasts. Just search Okay Storytime and you can listen
to over twelve hundred hours worth of stories boom.

Speaker 4 (38:45):
Do you think this is a friendshow that should have
gotten back together.

Speaker 6 (38:49):
It doesn't sound like Mikey's going to actually level it
out like it sounds like, because again, what do we
know about Mikey. Mikey talks, he says I'm gonna do this,
I'm gonna do that, and then.

Speaker 5 (39:01):
Does not do that, in fact, does the opposite of that.

Speaker 6 (39:04):
Yeah, so Mikey could be like, I've moved on, everything's fine,
but hasn't moved on.

Speaker 4 (39:10):
If Mikey actually changes from this and actually has some
self realization, I'm down for it. But not people can
change anyways. In case of in case of any of
the people who gave their opinion on my previous posts
or reading this, thank you for validating my feelings. I
felt at some point I was being unreasonable, even when
I knew I wasn't. I just needed some confirmations. It's

(39:31):
our friends didn't want to take sides, so nobody other
than Carle reassured me about what happened. I'm seeing you, Mikey. Okay,
they can see through the fourth wall, guys. I've seen
in that story that that kind of ended on a
weird note.

Speaker 6 (39:43):
Yeah, that was kind of I'm not sure if that
was ominous or if it was like I'm seeing you, Mikey, like.

Speaker 4 (39:48):
We're seeing each other.

Speaker 5 (39:50):
I don't think so that. I would definitely not recommend again.
H hmm.

Speaker 4 (39:56):
But I mean, anyways, Op, you did the lord's work right,
trying to get someone to realize their flaws now on them,
and you don't have to worry about that anymore. You've
done your part.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
Hey, John Ogi host here, we're gonna get back to
this episode, but a quick three minute break of.

Speaker 5 (40:11):
Ads from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

Speaker 3 (40:13):
My wife went on a work trip and came home
with a bug bite.

Speaker 6 (40:17):
Oh that's that's a very human shaped bug. I would
assume a vampire.

Speaker 5 (40:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (40:23):
Perhaps I'm twenty seven male in a fight with my
wife twenty eight female. We've had fights before, but not
this bad. I met a loss on how to proceed.
For context, were college sweethearts, married for almost six years.
We have a daughter for a female. Our relationship was
never perfect or without challenges. By the way, this comes
from throw a sunflower at buff and if you want

(40:44):
to submit your own stories, got to our Sashoky storytime
sufferate it. We faced some family opposition with cultural differences,
but we've made it work. She's my first love and
my best friend. My wife works in corporate. Her job
is annual work retreats that last for about a week.
This year was in Vegas. Oh no, what happens in
Vegas stays in Vegas.

Speaker 5 (41:03):
Uh oh, we have really big bugs in Vegas.

Speaker 3 (41:06):
I usually arrange my work schedule and tag along with
her and we make our own trip of it. We
couldn't this year. Our daughter gets major anxiety traveling long distances.
We're working on it, but she wasn't budging, and we
decided to choose our battles, so I stood behind and
held down the fort at home. The change of plans
was a bummer because the trip was part of us
reconnecting as both couple and as a family. My wife's

(41:26):
work hours had taken as toll, and her work life
balance leaves much to be desired. We entertain the idea
of her skipping the retreat. Attendance is optional, but it's
generally frowned upon if you don't. And my wife's making
connections in her fields, she's grown increasingly weird. We have
a system if either of us is away for extended periods,
we keep in contact. For the first day or so,

(41:48):
she was herself, but she grew distant. I'd even text
her about important stuff and be left on red while
she claims she never saw my text. Whenever we talked,
she was rushing me or our daughter off the phone.
These were all times she wasn't involved in retreat activities.
We were supposed to have a mini birthday celebration for
our daughter over FaceTime. Our daughter was excited. It was
something my wife promised her because the retreat overlapped her

(42:10):
actual birthday. But my wife backed out because she had
people up to her room after a seminar. It was
like she wanted my permission to break her promise to
our daughter. I told her I wasn't offering that, nor
making her keep her word. She said I wasn't being fair,
and this was a networking opportunity. They were business oriented
and wouldn't understand her stepping away family time. I said,
her decision is her decision, but she'd have to explain

(42:31):
it to our daughter. You promised her that she'd raincheck
the following day. Our daughter didn't understand. She's four.

Speaker 5 (42:37):
You can't rain check your four year old daughter's birthday
and cried.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
My wife ended up hanging up and leaving me to
comfort our daughter alone. That whole incident rubbed me the
wrong way. I didn't like it. She didn't keep her
word for the raincheck either. She was documenting the retreat
on social media. One coworker twenty three mail was almost
in every pick and video attached to her hip, and
one pick he had his arm too comfortably around her.
In my opinion, we're her husband. He's a recent hire

(43:04):
in my wife's department. She was asked to oversee him.

Speaker 8 (43:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (43:07):
I bet she oversaw him.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
Yeah, I bet she.

Speaker 3 (43:09):
I thought she saw over him.

Speaker 5 (43:10):
I bet she explored his whole.

Speaker 3 (43:12):
I don't like the guy. He doesn't know boundaries. Once,
in response to a work assignment, he texted my wife
that she's exactly the kind of woman he needs to
keep in check. My wife brushed it off. She feels
bad for him because he's not fitting in. I'm sure
he's fitting in all just fine. Oh, she took him
under her wing. Yeah, during his first retreat with the team.
If I'd questioned, she says she was tired or networking.

(43:35):
There was always something, but I've seen her at these retreats.
This wasn't like her. She was just off. The day
before her return home, she complained about a bruise on
her neck. She's stressed it was a bug bite.

Speaker 8 (43:45):
Oh oh, so she's doing the pre planning, She's like, oh,
I got this weird rash on my Neck's crazy and
it really it's so funny because it looks like you're
gonna you're gonna laugh.

Speaker 3 (43:56):
It looks like you know.

Speaker 5 (43:58):
You're in a laugh. It looks like Greg was slurping
on my neck.

Speaker 6 (44:02):
But really it was a bug that yet to be
discovered by science.

Speaker 4 (44:07):
They're looking for it.

Speaker 3 (44:08):
Though I didn't actually see the bruise until she came home.
I instantly thought it was a Fulon's spicy kiss. She
kind of brushed it off after making a big deal
of it over the phone. I didn't push because her
daughter was present, but when I was able to confront her,
she clung to her bug bite claim. When I kept pushing,
she asked, what was I trying to imply? I outright
said I believe she had a spicy kiss, and I

(44:29):
didn't believe she was being honest with me. We had
it out. Then she was offended and pissed at the accusation.
Infidelity has always been a sore topic. Her family has
a history of infidelity. So we had a pretty bad fight,
and she accused me of looking to pick a fight
due to the incident with our daughter's birthday. I told
her it had nothing to do with that and everything
to do with a spicy kiss on her neck. The
fight ended in an impasse. We're still not recovered. She

(44:52):
swears it's a bug bite, but I'm not convinced. I've
always trusted my wife, I've never doubted her, but this
bruise doesn't look like a bug bite. It looks like
a spicy kiss. I only feel more strongly when I
consider how distant and weird she was during the Vegas retreat.
Now she's wearing turtlenecks ever since, and we're caught between
arguing and her dousing our daughter and me with affection.

(45:12):
Communication usually prevails for us, but not now. I think
my accusation pushed us to a new level of arguments.
I'm at a loss here. I really need outside perspectives
relevant comments. Football Ton Fans says, I'm not saying it's impossible,
but I've never gotten a bug bite that looked like
a bruce. Did she show you her phone or provide
any proof that could support her innocence or just dismiss you.

(45:34):
The extra affection is a common move from guilt ridden cheaters,
even if we stretch the imagination and believe it is
a bug bite. She wasn't acting trustworthy, nor was she
a good mother. Well, she was in Vegas and she
needs to address and correct that. Oh p He says, No,
I haven't had access to her phone. We usually have
an open phone policy, but it's not something we've ever
really done. I'm sure it'll be another argument. Chippeci says,

(45:58):
why did you go on work trips with her in
the past? Did she want you to or did you
not want her to go alone? What is and why
is it necessary to have the system when one of
you is away? Whose idea was the FaceTime birthday celebration?
Did she not talk to the daughter at all on
her birthday or just couldn't do the FaceTime celebration? Opie
says work life balance was an issue, so she'd invite
me on the retreats. The system is for an extended

(46:18):
periods away from each other like how long the retreat was,
especially since we have a child now. The birthday FaceTime
was my wife's idea. You promised our daughter and got
her excited about it. No, she didn't talk with our
daughter until she was calling to cancel. That's another reason
the birthday stunt rubbed me the wrong way. Opie responded
to lead a comment. Yeah, you don't get to disconnect
from being a parent, especially to a minor, for extended holidays.

(46:41):
You certainly don't ghost them on their birthday and when
you promise to do something special for them and got
the child excited about it, or hang up on them
while they're crying. I'm not insecure. My wife's gone on
the retreats before. We both work outside the home and
have the caring for our daughter, so it's not imbalance.
My wife's work life balance is out of sorts. She's
in the company any of other adults plenty. I've been

(47:01):
with my wife on these retreats and other social events.
I know how she is. She was off this entire trip,
nor was it appreciated her entertaining a coworker who ignores
boundaries having his arm wrapped around her waist like he
was claiming her or something. I trusted her when she
said she had a bug bite. I got things to
help retreat it for when she returned. It was only
after I saw the bruis in person that there was

(47:22):
no mistaking it was a bruise for me, and I
questioned her on it. And there is an update. I
twenty seven male, wanted to give an update and thank
everyone who reached out. The outside perspectives helped. Things are
a roller coaster. I'm trying to process it. Took a
while for my wife, twenty eight female, and me to
have any real conversation about the bruise on her neck.
We were stuck between arguing and her showering our daughter

(47:45):
for female and me with affection. I rarely saw the
bruise because she was turtle necked up, but I did
note the healing process from reddish purple yellow. There wasn't
any more discussions about the vegus retreat. She made it
clear she was done talking about it and that she
shouldn't need to defend herself to her husband. I told
her she could do whatever she wanted, but I was
done being treated like an idiot, and I wasn't sharing

(48:05):
a bed with someone I couldn't trust, so I moved
into the guest room. Communication stopped. The silences were palpable.
Even our daughter noticed. I'm not proud of that. I
tried keeping her out of fights. My wife came to
the guest room one night and asked if we could talk.
I could tell she'd been crying. She said she hated
the way things were between us. She felt she was
losing me either way. I told her I needed complete honesty.

(48:27):
You confessed she hooked up with that coworker twenty three
mail on our daughter's birthday.

Speaker 5 (48:33):
It was a gift for our daughter, twenty three hot mail.

Speaker 3 (48:36):
It was from him. She was lost in the heat
of the moment and didn't realize he was attached to
her neck. By her account, they made out while doing
some on top of the clothes stuff, and then he
went down on her. It stopped there because he called
her by a nickname that I affectionately call her. It
snapped her back to the reality of her actions.

Speaker 5 (48:53):
Is that what she's trying. She's trying to make it
like one. I remembered that I'm married to you by.

Speaker 3 (48:59):
The moment, does not happen in the like.

Speaker 5 (49:02):
You can also what's the name? Why does he know
the nickname?

Speaker 4 (49:04):
By the way, we.

Speaker 3 (49:05):
Probably it's just like sweety honey. She went to splash
water on her face and saw the bruce. The guy
made light of it and made a joke about the
bruise being her souvenir. She blew up on him and
punted him out of her sweet so she didn't Part
of the reason she was avoiding me was out of guilt.
She said, she's coming clean because she doesn't want to
hide things anymore. I asked her why she cheated. What
was it about the guy she deemed worth risking everything?

(49:27):
She claimed it wasn't him specifically, Nor is she unhappy
with our marriage. She doesn't really know how to explain it,
but a part of her feels broken. The more she
looks in the mirror, the more she sees her dad
fifty seven male, a cycle of being consumed with work,
distant from child, and the infidelity he put her mom
fifty five female. She said her family never talked about
anything openly, and how when she was growing up, my

(49:48):
mother in law never addressed anything with her. I said
her parents didn't make her cheek. She chose to party
up with the guy who constantly disrespected our relationship. These
were all her decisions, and she at any point could
have chosen our face family. She agreed she wants to
blame her parents, but realizes this is on her. You
apologize for cheating and for entertaining the guy's advances. You said,
she'll do whatever it takes to repair, go to HR,

(50:10):
quit her job, counseling anything, she wants to make everything right.
I told her, I don't know what right looks like,
or if that's possible for us anymore. I knew we
had our problems, but I thought there wasn't anything we
couldn't talk out. She insisted we still could talk it out.
We didn't have to give up on us. She tried
giving this rally cry for our relationship, but I felt
bury enough, all right.

Speaker 6 (50:29):
So the plan was to go together as a family
and then and fix the exact thing that you're saying
feels broken. But you premeditated going out there and hooking
up with this other guy.

Speaker 3 (50:39):
Absolutely. I mean, she knew she probably has been flirting
with him or entertaining.

Speaker 5 (50:43):
The spur of the moment.

Speaker 4 (50:44):
I didn't know what.

Speaker 5 (50:45):
I don't know what came over me type thing this
was a plant.

Speaker 3 (50:48):
I said. I didn't recognize her, not just the betrayal
of our vows, but also how she treated our daughter.
He's like a stranger. She feels she failed as a
wife and a mom, but she loves us both beyond
words and wants her life together and our family intact.
I told her I couldn't give her the answer she wanted,
and thought we needed to separate and reevaluate. You didn't
want separation. You felt we should stay together in our home.

(51:09):
But I told her, as separation was happening, either she
was leaving the home or I was with our daughter.
You can sent it to leaving so as to best
not uproot our daughter so much. She asked for our
daughter not to be taken away from her. My wife's
staying with my in laws. I know that's difficult in
itself because she doesn't have the best relationship with her parents.
One of the hardest parts is the shift for our daughter.

(51:29):
Right now. She believes her mom's just busy with work
per usual. She hasn't questioned it too much. My mother
in law call the other day. You made no excuses
for my wife, but she's advocating for us to work
through it. She told me times when she heard my
wife describe me as the anchor she always wanted. She
believes there's something worth fighting for if I'm open. Despite
some family opposition we faced through our relationship, my mother

(51:50):
in law was always a supporter of us. I'm even
more at a loss. I never imagine this kind of
betrayal for my wife. She was my safe place. I
feel numb yet broken. I'm in love with that hasn't changed,
but I don't see myself for our relationship or our
family the same. Everything's more tense because it's fresh. I
think this period of separation is for the best. I'm
not sure about divorce. I haven't let myself fully go there.

(52:13):
I'm not set either way. I don't know where things
go from here. But I'm focusing on our daughter and
taking things one step at a time. I feel that's
all I can do right now. Thanks again to everyone
for the supports and there are some relevant comments and
I think another update. Toger Sex says it was already
established that there had been line crossing with the coworker
prior to the trip, even if it wasn't physical yet.

(52:34):
But even if there hadn't been I've known coworkers' pet
names for their significant others before when only interacting with
them on a professional level. The fact that the guy
both intentionally gave her a spicy kiss and used the
pet name says a whole heck of a lot about him.
Though someone willing to engage an affair is bad enough,
this guy was doing it as some kind of sick
power playing funshot first two two six says It's also

(52:56):
possible it's something super common like honey or baby. Opie says, No,
it's it's a specific nickname. It's not derived from her
name or anything. It just summed up things I loved
about her in one word. Apparently he turned it into
a spicy related context and then write to make Kiebe
says One question. How close was the colleague to her
to know her nickname that you use and why did
she let him disclosed her literally and figuratively. Opie says,

(53:19):
at the time, I knew they had a friendship. She
was asked to mentor him as he joined her department,
so she took him under the wing and was supposed
to be showing him the ropes. It would text and stuff,
and he would cross boundaries his text increasingly read like
a guy fishing for an opportunity. My wife shut the
idea down as not even a factor for her, and
I chose to trust my wife because I never had
a reason to doubt her before. As far as the nickname,

(53:40):
it was something only I called her, but it wasn't
like a secret thing. I called her by it in
front of others and our daughter. She claims the guy
overheard me say it when she had me on speaker
once and he asked her about it after. And there
is an update. Thank you again to everyone. I twenty
seven mail. Couldn't respond to every message, but everything's appreciated.
I wanted to provide. Things have been a little chaotic

(54:01):
with the new status quo after my wife's twenty eight
female affair, but I'm taking everything one step at a time.
My wife and I explain the separation to our daughter
for female in simple, concrete terms, and reassured her that
we both still love her, without going into the reasons
behind the separation. Our daughter's always been an observant kid,
but I don't think the separation is hit her yet.

(54:22):
She doesn't see the difference between her mom not being
home and her usual busy with work. During visits, she's
more distant towards her mom and clings to me. My
wife attempted to play with her on this toy set,
but our daughter wasn't having it and shouted at her
mom that she didn't want to play with her. The
disconnect between my daughter and wife hurts in a way.
I'm still processing. I knew my wife's work life balance
took its toll pre Vegas. We were supposed to be

(54:43):
working on reconnecting, but just how fractured things are is
a lot more apparent. Our daughter interacts very little with
her mom and becomes quiet around her like she does
with strangers. I feel, at her age, we as her
parents should be who she's closest with and not this
disconnected from her mom. Well it's her fall. Oh yeah,
I mean she's the four year old is mad.

Speaker 5 (55:02):
At her mom because she ditched her on her birthday.

Speaker 3 (55:05):
Well also, she's probably I mean, she probably isn't really
thinking about her birth anymore. She's probably just like mom
hasn't been here for a while.

Speaker 5 (55:12):
And then when mom is here, Yeah, I don't know,
it's like very quite weird.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
Mommy and daddy aren't like mommy and daddy.

Speaker 5 (55:18):
I'm sure that that's that's I don't know.

Speaker 3 (55:20):
I don't think she remembers her birthday. She was crying
four years four.

Speaker 5 (55:24):
Yeah, but it's like I feel like at that age
she's over her birthday.

Speaker 6 (55:27):
If at that age, it's like I remember that I
cried on I cried.

Speaker 5 (55:31):
Mommy and me cry.

Speaker 3 (55:32):
Their dynamic is something I've been reflecting on. My main
focus is making sure my daughter's okay through all this.
As far as between my wife and me, she's advocating
for us to reconcile. She's expressed she wants to work
on our marriage, not solely for our daughter, but because
she loves me. Her rally cries for our relationship are
still falling flat for me. I can't give her what
she wants right now. I told her I wish she
would give herself these rallies before she She's adamant about

(55:56):
the affair timeline and what occurred with coworker at twenty
three mail. They connect did because she felt bad he
wasn't fitting in. He kept flirting and treating her like royalty.
It started feeling good on the rougher work days. They
had an emotional affair even though she didn't label it
as such at the time. The emotional affair turned physical
during the retreat. She dissociated from her life back home
while away in Vegas. You still swears they only slept

(56:18):
together once. A spicy kiss came from foreplay, and while
giving her oral he called her my nickname, for which
shook her out of it. No, she dissociated from her family.

Speaker 6 (56:28):
What I mean that would make sense because she literally
was completely a wall the entire time she was there.

Speaker 5 (56:35):
But like, but that's not like, honey, I just don't
think that's just like, Yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (56:41):
Didn't want to think about my family because I wanted
to think about this.

Speaker 2 (56:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (56:44):
Was it clinical dissociation?

Speaker 3 (56:46):
She snapped at him about his immature attitude with a
spicy kiss. You're calling him immature. She thought she could
quietly end things and salvage our marriage. I asked her
if she wore her wedding ring during spicy sleep with him.
She confessed that she did, knowing this hurts like to me.
Our wedding rings were a physical symbol of our love,
commitment to our vows, and our bond. She tarnished our rings.

(57:07):
I haven't been able to wear mine. It never hurts
any less, there are just new levels to the hurts.
She admits to contributing to blurred lines. Of course she did.
She's now changed her number and claims to have cut
contact with the coworker she reported the affair to HR.
The company has suspended both of them while the investigate
the extent to which the affair impacted the apartment. Coworker

(57:27):
relations violate the policy, and it doesn't look good for
my wife in terms of power balance, since she was
the guys mentor. They're also calling into question if she
gave him favoritism. Some have suggested I reach out to
the coworker. I've considered it, but I'm not in a
place too. I feel a lot of anger towards him.
You knew exactly what he was doing with the spicy
kiss and nickname stunt. I wouldn't get anything from him

(57:47):
except trouble. He's not worth it. I've chosen to focus
on my daughter. I've chosen to pursue marriage counseling. This
isn't under the promise of reconciling, but as an assist
in working through the separation as healthily as possible for
our daughter. And you know what else, will make your
life as healthy as possible listening to full episodes of
stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

(58:09):
or iHeartRadio and search up folkustort times. There is a
little bit left to the story. Any final thoughts.

Speaker 5 (58:14):
Does she deserve sympathy?

Speaker 6 (58:16):
No?

Speaker 5 (58:16):
But is she still a human being?

Speaker 3 (58:19):
Yes? I think that going to the marriage counseling is
the best thing, and just like using it, It's like, no,
this is probably not going to lead back into like
a relationship together, but it is helping us parents. I'm
still numb in a lot of ways. I never thought
this would be how my marriage and my family turned out.
I've seen it happen to others. I've heard stories. I
thought I knew what it was like, but it's nothing

(58:39):
compared to dealing with it yourself. I don't feel like
the same person anymore. I don't know how everything will
pan out. It's an uphill battle, but I'm trying to
show up to the battle. It's the best I can
do right now. And that is the end of that story.

Speaker 5 (58:51):
Brighter days Ahead, Yeah, Op, Brighter days Ahead.

Speaker 3 (58:54):
It'll it'll get easier, but we have another story, so
we're gonna get into it.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.
But here's three bits of ads from our sponsors that
keep the show alive.

Speaker 3 (59:05):
My husband thinks I cheated with my best friend, so
he got with his husband in return. Whoa a little
bit of context. I have been with my partner for
just under six months. It's going well, despite some clashes
in expectations and pushing of boundaries. Mostly we figure things out.
The main issue for him is my best friend. By
the way, this comes from Alert Media fifty six eighty four,

(59:28):
and if you want to smit your own stories, go
to our slashokey storytime supparate it. I've grown up with
his friend. We are both attracted to the same gender
males and went through experience together. We have slept together
in the past, but it all ended when he found
his husband, though we're still incredibly close. They are polyamorous,
but have an agreement that they talk about whom they
will bring into the relationship before it happens, and it
works well for them. They've been together eight years, married

(59:50):
five As far as I'm aware, this is the first
instance of something like this happening. I truly don't know
what to do. My best friend is devastated, and so
am I. Me and my are not in a throttle
or polly situation, as he is quite jealous and has
freely admitted as much. I found out they'd slept together
through a mutual friend. When I asked, they both admitted

(01:00:11):
to it, but asked me to keep it from my
best friend, telling me they would tell him in their
own time. I gave them the grace of twenty four hours,
in which time nothing has been said. I've told my
best friend because I feel he needs to know, and
he is rightly devastated. When asked why this happened to
begin with, my partner replied that it was in retaliation
for the fact that I've clearly been sleeping with my

(01:00:32):
best friend. Again. We haven't slept together since he got
with his now husband, and though we used to be
quite touchy with each other, hugging, et cetera, we've stopped
that too, as I always felt wrong doing it in
front of his partner. I have requested my partner go
back to his own apartment as I need time to think,
and all he's done is yell at me for telling
my best friend. I don't know if I did the
right thing, but I felt wrong to hide it. You
absolutely did the right thing. Am I the A hole

(01:00:54):
Reddit and there is an update. I have spoken with
both my now ex and my best friend's partner this morning.
He called me. Both conversations were not good, and the
long and the short of it is that this has
been going on for months. Behind are me and my
best friend's back, and neither are apologetic for it, especially
as my now x seems convinced I cheated on him
with my best friend. They are both acting as though

(01:01:15):
it was something we should have inevitably foreseen. Thank you
to those of you who offered your kind words yesterday.
I was a bit nervous about posting on here, but
I'm glad to have gotten some outsider perspective and still
trying to wrap my head around everything, but I think
this is the right choice for me. I know it's
only been less than a few hours, but the revelation
that this has been a continual thing has really broken
any semblance of trust I may have had in my ex.

(01:01:38):
For anyone wondering, I think that the best friend is
going to be planning for a divorce. We haven't talked
too much since last night, but I know there's been
a lot of yelling and angry word between him and
his husband, and he's very upset. I'm trying to give
them their space to work things out to whatever conclusion
they so choose. And there is a second update, a
final and strange update for anyone still interested. I think

(01:01:59):
this will be the final update, I hope, so as
I am done with this crap show, please forgive my language.
This evening I was asked if I would meet with
my best friend for a dinner. They offered a cook
I agreed, thinking perhaps they were struggling with everything that's
happened and needed the support, and honestly, it would have
been really nice to just talk to them and take
a breather from all the madness. I couldn't have been
more wrong. When I got there, both my best friend's partner,

(01:02:23):
who last I heard was soon to be the rex,
and they'd made no mention of them being there this eve,
but I shrugged that off as much as they could,
and my ex partner were there too. What followed was
the strangest conversation I've ever been witnessed to. I say
that because I wasn't really given too much of a
chance to respond until they finished. My best friend told
me quite calmly that they had all decided that what
is best for them is that he and his husband

(01:02:45):
are going to try and salvage the relationship and marriage
because they worked well together so far and this is
a minor setback. His words. Then came the kicker. Apparently
his husband cannot live without my ex, so they've decided
to become a thropple. He's the missing piece in the lives,
et cetera, et cetera, And now they feel complete, and
they hope that I'll understand and still want my company.

Speaker 5 (01:03:05):
And the thing is.

Speaker 6 (01:03:05):
They can do this and have it be their like
little you know, stick twisted trio or whatever, but then
like the vibe to be like.

Speaker 5 (01:03:14):
Let's get Ope to be okay with this is an absurd.

Speaker 3 (01:03:19):
Let's absolve our guilt that we feel for the situation
by just like blind siding Ope with his crazy meeting. Yea,
when he's expecting that he's coming to come comfort a friend. I,
as commly as I could, asked my ex if he
was sure this was what he wants, and he began
shouting at me, accusing me of never trying to understand him,
et cetera. My best friend's husband then said that they've

(01:03:41):
all talked and that if I wanted to join them,
then I was welcome to God, I'm quite proud of myself.
I really wanted to swear very loudly and make some
choice words, but I just said that I wish them
the best. But I didn't think that would be a
good idea, and then I left. Apart from one very
teary sounding voicemail an hour ago from my ex best
friend asking me to understand, appreciate, respect, and reconsider, I

(01:04:03):
haven't heard from any of them, and nor have I
responded to the voicemail. I think it's time for me
to embrace being single for a while. Thank you again
to everyone who was commented and offered advice. I've really
appreciated all the kindness. I was a little hasty in
calling my last update the final update, but there we
have it. Just to keep those of you interested on
board and to get your thoughts. I've been thinking through everything,

(01:04:23):
and I did reach out to my best friend. I
hope that you're only reaching out to be like, dude,
what's going on with you? Why are you putting up
with this. I'm worried about him, and I want to
be certain that when this is all put to rest
one way or another, especially as he left me multiple
voicemails last night asking me to get in contact anyhow.
I shot him a text today explaining that though my
position in the entire thing hasn't changed, we've been friends

(01:04:44):
for a long time and I am concerned about him
in this whole thing. I'm here if he needs to talk.
I received a FaceTime call from him almost instantly after,
and he was a wreck, upset and shaking. He said
he'd been asked to move into the spare bedroom while
my ex and his husband celebrated, and that he's barely
seen either of them since he was in a worse

(01:05:05):
state than I've seen him in a very long time,
which is saying a lot. I've told him I'm happy
to pay for him to see a therapist for three sessions.
Anti Ford Morris therapists are expensive, and I have recommended
him a few different people that my own had recommended
to me. He broke down and told me that he'd
only agreed to everything because otherwise his husband threatened divorce
and they've worked too hard on their marriage to quit
now a class folcy exactly. I don't know where we'll

(01:05:28):
go from here or what to do really, except that
I am very tired andk you again to everyone who's
commented and offered support and understanding. This community is love.

Speaker 5 (01:05:35):
Okay.

Speaker 6 (01:05:36):
Update four is going to be like Update number four,
we actually are all getting married next next September. That
would be That would make me We've adopted bonker thirteen
children together.

Speaker 3 (01:05:46):
This would make me bonkers. My best friend has agreed
to move into a nearby flat as temp accommodation until
he sorts things out good. I had offered my guest room,
but he's correctly said that we will both need our
own space and he doesn't want to put me out,
so for the meantime this is a good solution. It
at least gets him away from his husband and my ex.
He's moved in as of early this morning. Regarding those two,

(01:06:08):
I had a very angry call from the husband this
morning demanding I keep my nose out of his situationship.

Speaker 5 (01:06:13):
Well, he's about to hook up with the guy moving
into his house. Maybe that that's going to happen.

Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
And then I would respond, you should have kept your
nose out of my relationship, my marriage actually, but you
didn't so shut.

Speaker 6 (01:06:25):
Up at this point, Like I think my go to
move would be like just confusion, like I would send
a gift that had nothing to do with anything, like
I would just confuse, discombobulate, discombobulate.

Speaker 3 (01:06:39):
And I told him I wasn't willing to talk to
him until he could please stop yelling quite so loudly,
and then he slammed the phone down. I haven't heard
from my ex, though I am half tempted to check
you'se all right. I don't want him to be a
victim in all this, even if he started as an instigator,
but so far haven't. I want you guys to start
start listening to full episodes and stories just like this.
Just go to Spotify, apple pie g or iHeart Radio

(01:07:01):
such ap oky story time, but there is a little
bit left to the story real quick. I understand the
desire to check in to an X and be like, oh,
I just want to make sure that they're doing okay.
I just want to make sure you know everything's fine
with them. This person betrayed you, this person.

Speaker 5 (01:07:15):
Cheated on you and like trippled tripled down on you. Yeah,
tripled yelled at you down.

Speaker 3 (01:07:21):
It's it's you do not owe him anything, nor would
it help you or him for you to get involved
in this. But there's a little bit left for those
curious in asking. Thankfully, my ex and I weren't married.
There seems to be some confusion there, and I own
my own home, so there shouldn't be any legalities needed,
at least on my side of things. I am talking
to my therapist. We had a session yesterday and I've
been invited to text if I absolutely need to. My

(01:07:44):
best friend hasn't yet acted on the offer of a therapist,
but I hope he will soon. I am trying not
to be pushy and give him space. I think our
friendship will be all right. It just might be a
little rocky for a while, and in all honesty, I
need space as much as he does. Feeling a little
less hairy than I was at the start of the weekend,
and thank you again for all the kind and supportive comments.
I'm sorry I couldn't reply to you all individually, but

(01:08:06):
I've read through everyone and been very grateful for them.
I will update if anything further happens, but I'm hoping
we are nearing the end of all this and that
is the end of that story. That is the end,
so hopefully everything's got to work out. Don't reach out
to your XO.

Speaker 5 (01:08:20):
Yeah, it's time to be done with that. Let them
have that situation. It's theirs now

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My mother in law demanded we get a paternity test…so now she’s not allowed to hold the baby! | Reddit Stories