My mother-in-law has been treating holidays like a COMPETITION… I’m done! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:16):
My mother in law has been treating holidays like a competition.
I'm done. It's a competition and I shall have win.
Mother in law has always been crazy about holidays. All
three adult children in need to be there for a while,
especially Christmas. Husband and I tried to do every other
year approach. Example, one year we would do his family,
the next year with mine. My parents were more than

(00:37):
happy with that. Mother in law was not. She'd do
stuff like come over for just half an hour and
then keep us hostage there for hours. By the way,
this comes from Cactus Plant Lady, and if you want
to spit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay,
Storytime separate it. So keep in mind husband is an
absolute coward as well and does not fight back. The
first vid Christmas, we told her that we would not

(00:58):
be going anywhere, We would be staying as you were
supposed to, not to my parents or his parents. She
was having none of that and called us to negotiate
all day long. I am not joking. It was from
morning until evening. She said, who gareth about the quarantine?
We're all break them for me. I posted on the
ear and showed him all of the comments that were
calling him out that he needed to set her straight,

(01:21):
that she spent more of her Christmas trying to get
us to come rather than actually celebrating with who was
with her. Something finally clicked for him then, and he
stood up to her for the first and probably only time.
So here we are again over Eiester. We all got
sick because she had to see us once a week
the entire month of April. That in itself is too much,
but she likes her surprise droppins as well. Then a

(01:42):
family member passed away and at a major group gathering,
so we told her we were not coming for Easter
and she said that was okay because everybody else was sick. Anyways,
we didn't have plans with my parents because they know
she's insane with holidays, and we just kind of agreed
on a next weekend sort of up in the air thing,
so we got to finally not see here. But we
both knew she'd do a makeup Easter, because how could

(02:03):
she possibly survive not celebrating a holiday with everybody there. Unfortunately,
the weekend after his Easter, so this past weekend was
husband's birthday. We went out for dinner last night. It
would have been fine, but she brought up a makeup
for Easter, which I was expecting. I wasn't expecting it
to get so grips h Oh, not a gross story. Interesting,

(02:25):
don't talk to me and my sons your grat not
this again. I should also say now that over the
years I have told husband that he needs to stand
up to her. Why can't he? Can you please be
on my side, et cetera. He always agrees, acts like
I'm right, but he will also openly say I don't
know why I'm such a coward for her, or I
don't know why I can't stand up to her and

(02:46):
just let me deal with it. I have told him
a few times already, I'm worried for Christmas because it's
my family's turn. But you know it'll turn into a
crap show. He's acting tough now, saying we'll put our
foot down. Well, I will put my foot down and
say no anyway, She brought up a makeup for Easter weekend.
She asked, if I've asked my parents about Mother's Day
and if we have plans. I said, of course not.

(03:07):
I don't even know when Mother's Day is right now,
and we haven't planned that far ahead. She really said, oh,
so I win, and laughed. I said back, it's okay.
My parents have accepted that you win all alliday is
at this point, and honestly, this is true. At this point,
after all of these years of drama and trying to
figure out how to see each other, my parents have
just accepted that she won't allow it and that we

(03:27):
will just work around her needs because it's so insane
and stressful and causes so much drama otherwise. She sounded
so shocked she started stuttering and said, oh, I don't
need to win every holiday. I said back, but you do.
It just dropped off there, I guess because we were
in a restaurant. It was her baby boy's birthday and
she didn't want to get into it. Whatever. I was
happy to have said that. When we got home, husband

(03:50):
starts going off about how he didn't think I was
too witchy, but that was an appropriate response. You didn't
know where she was coming from from, saying, I win.
I have said to her before that she treats holidays
like a custody battle, but she doesn't seem to care,
or it never got through to her. This time, she
sounded genuinely shocked. I don't know if it's because I
brought my parents into it as well, or I just

(04:11):
really called her out. Husband said he's so tired of
seeing everybody as often as we do. But did he
say any of this to her. No, because he's a coward.
He's a noodle man, noodle man, noodle spine. Nope, he
just stayed quiet, like always. I need mother in law
to understand that I also have a family, that not
only do I have a family, but I would like

(04:31):
to see them. She purposely chooses Mother's Day, a holiday
that benefits her, but also one ed in time enough
that she knew I wouldn't have planned set up with
my family, yet she expects us to give any and
all of her free time to her. I want to
hope that my tiny little comment will have woken something
up at her, made her realize, but I also know
it won't if we can't make it to whatever she
has planned she'll just drive an hour plus to our

(04:54):
place and drop things off absolutely unnecessary. When it comes
up again closer to the date, I'm going to say
to her that she needs to allow me to also
see my family. What do you mean allow just just
go see your family? Like you don't even need to know.
If you have plans with your mom for Mother's Day,
you can just say, yeah, I have plans, yeah, or
it might have to keep it open just in case.

(05:16):
I don't even think you tell her that. I think
you just say, yeah, we're busy. Yeah, that she needs
to remember it's not all just her side. Maybe throw
in that they aren't happy about this either. She's tried
a few times to invite them to her place instead,
and they have been, but not for a holiday. This
is because they have their own traditions and cooking in
their own kitchen and blah blah blah. Right, she can't
just change everybody's plans to revolve around her. I don't

(05:37):
know if that one is a little too rude, but
it's true. So that's where we're at. I told dear
husband that I know I'm all alone on this and
that at this point I'm gonna have to get a
little more witchy or straight up with her. He didn't
blink an eye at that. He just agreed. This man
can't He just agrees with anyone. Yeah, he's like, yeah, yeah,
you're right. And then his mom's like, you have to
come visit me. He's like, yeah, you're right. He's like, hey,

(05:57):
you stand up your mom. He's like, yeah, you're right.
Not a single thought for herself. She really said, I
win when it comes to talking about a holiday. I
knew she was nuts about who gets to see her
for stuff like this, but that's truly how she's seeing it.
It isn't a battle. I have suggested many times that
dear husband and her start going out for mother sun
dates yet seeing him out of her system because she

(06:19):
needs to so badly, But he won't. He is never
going to stand up to her. Like I said, she's
getting worse more pushy about the holidays lately, and she
needs us all there. I thought it would be the opposite.
She understands that all of her thirty plus year old
children have lives, were all grown ups, et cetera. But no,
she needs everybody there with her loved ones. If anybody
has any other basic sort of things I could throw

(06:40):
out for her when I confront her, I would greatly
appreciate it. I also absolutely think she will just throw out, uh,
invite your parents for this Mother's Day. But I want
to say something along the lines of they want to
cook and celebrate in their own home, like that is
so unreasonable, helloel, And also that you can't just invite
other people to your house to make it all work
out for yourself. I'm still so grossed out by her

(07:01):
saying I went and just laughing about it. That's really
how she has been thinking about this for all these years.
I'm gonna have to get more harsh these days. And
there is an edit and a second edit and an update. Ah,
but before we get into those two but thoughts, I
just I think there this doesn't need to be a competition. Yeah,

(07:22):
it definitely doesn't. Definitely doesn't need to be a competition.
We could just you know, see what works, see what doesn't,
and then that's that and that's fine. Truly. Yeah, no,
I think that. I also think that you're you're acquiescing
too much, do you or your mother in law, Like
you're letting her walk all over you. Absolutely, I mean
you're telling her. You're saying one thing to your husband,
but then the second that she says no, you guys

(07:44):
like I want you guys to come visit me, or like,
what are you doing on Mother's Day? Do not do
you know?

Speaker 1 (07:48):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Do you not have any plans? You guys are just like, okay, yeah,
I guess we're going to see her. Yeah, yeah, I
think we just need to. It's okay, ah, sorry, we
doo plans. It doesn't have to be rude. It doesn't
have to be like I hate you mother of law. Right,
just say yeah, sorry, we got plans and send a
gift or something. There's other ways to go about it.
Appreciate her for the day, or you know, you go
visit your parents. He goes and visits his mom for

(08:12):
Mother's Day. He could just split edit. I really appreciate
the feedback, but I also would appreciate people stopping telling
me I have no spine or no balls. I have
been fighting this woman and telling her no for ten
plus years now, and completely on my own. I know
my husband is coward, and that's partly why this is
so difficult. I've been saying no is a complete sentence
to both husband and mother in law for years. They

(08:34):
don't care. I came here for some extra help and
I appreciate it, but I need y'all to understand that
a lot of basic stuff has been tried before. I
know that's why we're here, because we have caved so
many times. But this year, I've told him that I'm
ready to break up if we don't deal with her.
And that's why and how I'm here, Well, you're with
your husband. She has no boundaries, even when I have

(08:55):
tried to set them. She will show up at our
workplaces unannounced, drop in at our places, even though we've
told her to edit to. Regarding the word allow, I
want to use that as in, hey, mother in law,
take a look in the mirror at how controlling you are.
You literally will not allow me to see my family.
I will use a more harsh and blunt word. I
know I can do what I want. I just came
here to find some good ways to figure this out.

(09:16):
And there is an update Ivan. Yeah, I appreciated a
lot of the nice comments and suggestions and the three
year plan, as I have never heard of that one
until yesterday. While I was on here, husband texted mother
in law in a group of conversation with the two
of them and myself. Husband. Hey, Mom, I hope you're
doing well today. I wanted to talk about dinner last
night because I've been really bothered about something that was

(09:36):
said there, specifically in regards to the makeup Easter meal
that you want to have on Mother's Day. I'm really
bothered by how you said you won the holiday by
bringing up plans before we even spoken with Opie's parents.
I feel like that comment was extremely out of line,
and I regret that I didn't say anything in the moment.
But I'm bringing up now because it's really not sitting
well with me. I get that you want us all

(09:57):
around for the holidays, but we can't be expected to
make it too absolutely every single one every time, because
we almost never get to see Opie's family on any holidays.
So thank you for the invitation, but Opie and I
will respectfully be sitting this one out. And since I'm
on the topic of holidays, I also want to put
a reminder out that we will be doing Christmas with
Opie's parents this year. You didn't say this, but just

(10:18):
for some context, one of his siblings had a baby,
and so last Christmas we all had to be there
for the baby's first Christmas. The use the baby is
a lot of you have to be here for baby's
first holiday stuff. But we have been talking about how
it would turn into a disaster, even though it's my
turn to spend our Christmas with my family this year.
So that was great coming from him. I did not
ask him to say this. I was just minding my

(10:40):
business and got that message in the group chat. I
was very pleased she came back with this mother in law.
I am sorry you feel that there was pressure on
the whole suggestion. I threw out the idea as a suggestion,
not a demand, only to say you're all welcome to come.
Don't feel you need to attend if you don't want out.
I didn't inquire to see if you had plants with

(11:01):
her parents. I'm sorry you and ope always feel we're
putting pressure on you. I seem to always upset your
boat and didn't mean to speak out of line. I'll
back off, Wow boy to your bags. Neither one of
us even bothered to respond to that. She absolutely did
not even address or bring up her saying I went
just made it aboor me. It was just a suggestion.

(11:22):
You guys are always upset with me kind of thing
I had really considered just thrown out. Uh, it's because
you're literally addressing this as a competition. It's not a battle.
You can't just say you win a holiday when you
demand were there every time. But I just kept quiet.
Let that's do. Remember this is a woman who wanted
to live in a basement apartment that she bought with
her older son. Lol, And she really said, I seem

(11:42):
to always upset you both. From there, she messaged my
mother to thank her for some flowers my mom had
sent a few weeks ago when mother in law had
a family member pass away. I was totally expecting her
to bring up holidays, but she just did a thank
you and let it there. My mom said you're welcome,
and that was that. So that's that for now. I
have no idea once she'll contact us again, or how

(12:02):
or when. Just going to enjoy the silence now. By
the way, you can enjoy full episodes of stories just
like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or Iart
Radio and search a pokey start time. But there is
a little bit left to this story. Be Fino. Yeah,
I've got a question.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
So the The main problem is that the mother in
law isn't like being considered of other plans that they've got.
Does any drama happen when they do go to the plans?

Speaker 2 (12:29):
Seems like she makes some drama. See. Yeah, there's some
mention of a disaster, which is a little bit of
a fit. Yeah. Yeah, So it's just it just feels
all silly willy. It does feel all silly willy. I agree,
But let them have because that's the deal with when
you when you grow up and you got you got
a spouse, and then you've got two families to balance. Yeah,
you gotta you gotta space them out. You gotta switch

(12:52):
switch off, and your parents have to be understanding understanding
with that. So indeed, silly willy, I say, But there
is a little bit left to this story. I thanked
husband for sending her that message and told him I
knew it must have been very hard for him, and
that I appreciated it very much. He said that he
agreed her response was ridiculous, but also agreed to just
leave it, ignore her, and just wait until whenever she

(13:14):
messages us. It's annoying that she turned it all into oh,
it was just a suggestion not a demand, even though
she was literally saying she won. And y'all know if
we had said no, she would have had a tantrum
and turned it into a demand. Loll Oh. Well, this
seemed to have opened her eyes just a little bit
at least. And that is the end of that story, folks,
the end of the story. Wow. Yeah, your mother in

(13:37):
law sounds like a the light. Yeah, and by delight,
I mean not it sounds horrible. Right. I'm glad that
the husband is starting to kind of stand up a
little bit and uh and grow a bit of a spine.
Perhaps I knew a little before it goes into the
boiling watter. Yeah, perhaps the strongest, but you know, no,

(14:00):
like easily breakable, but standing a little bit straight. Right,
there's hope for standing straight. My sister in law demands
me to vera weig to her wedding. Now everyone's mad.
Do you have weeks? I twenty three female have decided
not to faro big in my brother's wedding.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
When he proposed, I was thrilled. I cheered them on
from my dorm room.

Speaker 2 (14:21):
Nice. But this wedding has stressed everyone out, and for me,
it's come to a breaking point.

Speaker 3 (14:26):
By the way, this comes from Incident Corrects thirty three
fifty two and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
Story time step Breddit.

Speaker 3 (14:32):
So at the first bridal event, the bride handed out
experience packages for her bride'smaids up to three thousand dollars,
including a destination trip. What wow, what's very very nice. Okay,
I'm a recent college grad with an entry level salary.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
We discussed hairstyles.

Speaker 3 (14:49):
The bridal party agreed on updues given the humidity. Months later,
the bride texts me that she changed the style and
wants me to vera big I had recently done a
big chop and died my natural hair, a major milestone
for me. I asked if braids were okay. She said no,
followed by texts about uniformity. I asked her to send
wig details. She didn't for months. After her bridal shower,

(15:11):
she asked if I had bought a wig, told me
the stylist costs, and when I didn't respond fast enough,
she still signed a contract with the stylist. I tried
to compromise. I'd install the wig myself and have the
stylist style it.

Speaker 2 (15:23):
She said, no, her stylist wouldn't work.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
Behind anyone else's install I said, I was uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
With both the price and the process. She replied, because
you cut and dyed your hair, there are now extra
costs for uniformity. Okay, that's weird. Well, like it's your
fault that you dye your hair. You should have thought
about that before you, you know, agreed to be in
my wedding. I just don't understand the uniformity stuff with weddings,
Like why get other people to be in your wedding

(15:49):
if you want perfect uniformity? Like, I don't understand what
in your wedding. I don't understand it with hair color.

Speaker 3 (15:55):
Because a lot of people have different hair colors than
any don't diet Yeah, Like I mean, yeah, I mean
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
I can understand it being like non ideal.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
If you have, like I don't know, like a olive
green dress and then like someone was like bright orange
chair or something.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
Like that, maybe you would think it's a little funky.
But I feel like it's still.

Speaker 3 (16:11):
Not your place to like ask them or expect them
and demand them to wear a wig and get it
styled professionally. In therapy, I shared how I've often felt
like the family scapegoat my boundaries equal defiance. My therapist said,
when people get used to you performing, they raise the
bar every time. Interesting, my gut said, I'm not wearing
the wig. I explained this to my parents. My mom

(16:32):
called me selfish. My dad said you were a child.
You couldn't say no.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
Then added, if the bride doesn't get what she wants,
you're out of the wedding party. That's crazy. That's crazy talk,
crazy talk.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
I texted the bride she respected my decision, but I
could support from the crowd. I responded with, what stings
is being told that I can only stay if I
change everything about how I show up. That's not unity,
that's control. I love you, but won't disappear. She forwarded
it to my family. How mature, how lovely?

Speaker 2 (17:00):
Oh yeah, instead of having a real conversation like adults,
let get fifty freaking media. You know, outside perspectives in
your Yeah, that aren't relevant exactly.

Speaker 3 (17:09):
She's been very controlling. Others have clashed with her, and
her maid of honor dropped out. My brother says that
she talks negatively about our family. When I brought that up,
and my dad shouted that no one's on my side
and blamed my mental health.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
Great. I love this.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
Everything's so fun and cool. I was told that I
shouldn't attend the wedding at all. My brother said that
he didn't care if I was in the wedding party,
which lifted some guilt.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
I told him that I'll still show up as myself.
An insert edit. The bride finally sent a message saying
that I was condescending. My choice was last minute.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
She's the center of this new chapter, and the Bible
says that the wife comes first, and I punted myself out.
I feel like, obviously you can have different decisions on like,
you know, the wife comes first, but when it's not your.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
Wife, yeah, I feel like that's not what it's to
Everybody knows that when it's my ya, I come first
for literally everyone, everyone's personal lives, everyone's personal lives. I
should be first, yeah, which means that you get choice
of their autonomy.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
I'm wrong, wrong, I responded with the truth. I'd expressed
discomfort early on. My words weren't cruel, they were clarifying.
I shared Scripture Ephesians five. Respect goes both ways. I
respect their marriage, but I respect myself more. There you go, Yeah,
quote the Bible right back of them. There you go,
throw it back in their faces. She sent it to
my brother. He texted me, I love you, but she

(18:30):
comes first. If you can't fall in line, you're out.

Speaker 2 (18:33):
No more discussion.

Speaker 3 (18:34):
Am I the ale for refusing to varrow wig and
standing in my truth and edits. I should note that
once my brother said that he didn't care if I
was in the party, I agreed and said that I
would sit in the audience and support him.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
This is my only brother slash siblings, so of course.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
I wanted to be in his wedding. And we do
have some comments. But what are our comments so far?

Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah? I think stuff, yeah, standard ground man. Yeah, don't
let them walk all over you because they want you
to wear a certain know, yeah, certain thing, a wig.
I guess, Like, I feel like there's a way to
fix this.

Speaker 3 (19:05):
It doesn't have to end in like you know, no
contact or anything like that, or just like absolute like
no wedding stuff.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
But but it feels like OP is doing everything right.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
So I don't know if they can like maybe they
can meet in person or something and they can be
like Hey, like, I really care about you, I really
want to be in your wedding, and I want to
figure this out. But I just I just don't have
the money for that, or like I just don't really
want to do that, or like why do you want to?

Speaker 2 (19:29):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (19:30):
Just try to have a heart to heart and see
if it give give them the chance to also have
like an adult response. I know we haven't had that
so far, and she has had a chance, I guess.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
But well, yeah, that's the problem is that I feel
like if op texture and was like, hey, let's have
like a mature conversation conversation, she would just send it.
Yeah your family members, Yeah, like, oh, you're trying to
have a mature conversation, Apie, how dare you maybe talking
in person? Because obviously this is a relationship that we
want to salvage.

Speaker 3 (19:57):
We don't want to just forget about this, so you know,
maybe talking in person will help.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
But who's to say. Who's to say?

Speaker 3 (20:04):
We do have some comments, so let's see what they say.
Common number one says, info. Do you think they would
have let you bow out gracefully or were there people
pressuring you to go along and not quit Ohpie says,
I was actively. I actively was expressing discomfort at home
with my parents. I outright said several times that I
didn't want to wear the wig. I went along with
it because my mom agreed to pay for it. Okay,
The thing is that my mom hasn't been financially responsible

(20:26):
for me in a long time. My job pays well,
but it's hourly, not salary. I can afford the things
that I want, Sash need. I haven't had to ask
her for money. I normally ask when it comes to
doctor's visits and therapy. So for her to say that
she would take care of her I felt like I
was going back into old patterns. I paid for my dress,
and I wanted to pay for my hair, and I
didn't want my mom to pay for something that I

(20:46):
didn't want. I respect her money, and I don't want
her to pay for something that she doesn't need to
pay for.

Speaker 2 (20:51):
Comment number two. You are not out of line for
not wearing a wig and not being a bridesmaid, but
I do feel like you were making a big deal
out of it. Yeah, it sounds like they were okay
with you not being a bridesmaid, and your brother supported you,
but it also sounds like you didn't do this in
a quiet, polite way. It feels like slightly you are
making this about you and stirring up bad feelings about
the bride. That's not okay, especially as your brother seems supportive.

(21:14):
Opie says, I understand your statement, but I had to
leave a lot out. My whole intermediate family brother included,
lashed out on me multiple times for not complying and
call me out of my character. I've been polite and
also firm. I like the bride.

Speaker 3 (21:26):
I really haven't had any issue with her up until
this point. However, if someone is going to be joining
my life and it's not my decision, I'm going to
have a say on how they treat me.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
That is true. That is true. I think, like, yeah,
I don't.

Speaker 3 (21:38):
I think this is being blown out of proportion, But
I don't necessarily think it's Opie that's doing that in
the first place.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think it is not necessarily
the biggest request, especially if op wouldn't be paying for it, right,
But I think it is a The way that it's
been gone about, yeah, is definitely not correct by the
people that are not okay with that. Like not BYOPI.
Coming number three says, not the a whole. Bridesmaids aren't

(22:04):
your personal ornaments to your wedding. They should be there
because they are important people in your life, and not
because they are the best decoration for your photos.

Speaker 3 (22:12):
It's no surprise other bridesmaids are dropping. Personally, I would
have not agreed to awake at all. So the fact
that you've already tried to compromise on this is above
and beyond what I think should be expected anyway. Coming
number four says, you all seem to be Christians, So
ask yourself this. Would Christ insist someone wear a wig
to his wedding for uniformity? Or would he just be
happy to be surrounded by family and friends coming together

(22:33):
in love. What she's demanding of you is a height
of bad manners, and I am sad to see your
family bowing to her unreasonable behavior. You're absolutely not in
the wrong, my dear, and there is an updates.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
Should we just roll right into it? Yeah, let's do
just do it. Hi.

Speaker 3 (22:45):
Everyone, First, I want to thank you all for your comments, insights,
and support. This has been such a wild and isolating
experience and it's helped me more than you know. I'm
currently in a different state from my family, but we'll
be returning tomorrow. I got my hair done yesterday so
in at a salon I history with. It was a
last minute appointment, so the color churned out a bit
louder than expected, but it's cute and professionally styled. Recently,

(23:06):
the bride mentioned that colored hair was acceptable as long
as it was in a ponytail.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
Make up your mind, girl, what does not even mean?
So I did just that it fits me and I
was glad that I invested in the style. Along with
photos of my hair, I sent a message to my
family and the bride. It was sincere and calm.

Speaker 3 (23:23):
I expressed that I wasn't trying to make this wedding
about me, that being given an ultimatum over my own
body felt frightening, and that I've never had an issue
with the bride personally, but she doesn't get to control
what goes on my head, especially if she isn't open
to compromises or helping financially. My brother replied, you have
eliminated your chance for a recourse with how you have
acted with everything You're out, that's final.

Speaker 2 (23:43):
What wait?

Speaker 3 (23:44):
I thought we fixed it, I replied, okay, I've been
focused on taking care of my mental health and processing
things in a way that that's healthy for me. But
when I called my mom tonight and asked about the wedding,
she said the same things I've been hearing, that I'm
being dramatic, trying to mess up the day, and that
I'll make a big scene. She and my dad see
to be trying to stand up to me now, likely
because they know how it might look if I'm not

(24:04):
in the wedding, But it doesn't feel like it's coming
from a genuineness. It feels performative. Some commentaris asked if
I had a relationship with the bride. I believe I've tried.
I even opened up to her about a painful situation
from college, something deeply personal and shaming. I was hoping
for understanding or at least compassion, But tonight my mom
told me that the bride is now uncomfortable having me
at the wedding because of that vulnerability.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
She's like, you're sharing too much, You're trauma.

Speaker 3 (24:28):
I'm been a little too much, I mean right now,
and I don't even want to she at my wedding,
doesn't I don't want you here.

Speaker 2 (24:32):
I think your vibe is off.

Speaker 3 (24:34):
She just like doesn't like her and just doesn't want
her and is trying and find all these excuses, it seems.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
Yeah, just say so, wow, you didn't have to have
her in your bridal party. Yeah, you could have just said, like, hey,
just want my besties in the bridal party. Yeah, exactly.
You didn't even have to say that, honestly, right, you
just not invite someone to be in your bridal party,
and that's that's good enough, that's fine.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
But let her come to the wedding, like really at all,
because this this is her brother, literally her brother, literally
her brother.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
You know where you should be.

Speaker 3 (25:06):
You should be on Spotify, Apple podcasts, Hiart Radio, one
of your favorite podcast app is because we've got more
full episodes of stories just like this one.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
You just gotta search okay, story time and we'll be there.
Search it out. We'll be there for you. But there's
a little bit more to the story. But yeah, I
feel like they got chill out a little bit out.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
There's gotta be some bigger reason than all of these
issues are coming up, some higher power.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
We need to stop talking over text because it feels.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
Like everyone is reading her like things totally wrong because
she's being like firm with things.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
Yeah, but I'm assuming like she's saying that. She's saying
it in a polite way, but obviously over text. You
community lols and someky faces in your test, some emojis,
but there is a little bit more.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
Some people have said that my message to her when
she punted me out made it seem like I dragged
this out. Maybe I did, But for me, marriage is
deeply sacred. My parents have been married for almost forty years,
grandparents close to seventy years, and that legacy means something
to me. I want to be married someday two, not
just to have a wedding, but to build something real,
lasting and rooted in love. That's why I've given so

(26:11):
many chances. That's why I've tried so hard to show up,
even when I've felt pushed aside. Because I cherished my
family and I wanted to believe that they cherished me too,
and that is the end.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
We all want to believe that. We do want to
believe that.

Speaker 3 (26:23):
I want to believe that for ope, but it feels
like it's just not happening.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
This ain't happen in folks. But that is the end
of that story. My mother in law hates me, so
I'm planning to confront her. Oh yeah, you do that, girl.
My boyfriend's mom, now referred to as mother in law
is one of those people who's incapable of thinking about
other people. I've heard of them. She has hated me
from day one for the sole reason that I am

(26:47):
her son's girlfriend. By the way, this comes from vast
Self eleven forty nine and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime
separate it. So she has made comments from day one,
but I have been really getting worse in the past
few months, to the point that my boyfriend is preparing
to go low contact with her within the month after
we graduate college and will probably end up no contact.

(27:11):
Here's a list of her behavior just in the past
six months. Went on a fifteen minute rant about what
a terrible pet owner am just because I have pets
while still in school. I am studying to be a
zoo keeper. Ah, it's a good dream. That's the same.
I am studying to be a zoo keeper. My pets
get the highest quality care. She only stopped because my

(27:32):
boyfriend told her to leave, went on a three hour
lecture about everything that is wrong with me. We should
have stood up for ourselves, but we were both honestly
stunned into silence. Told me that I don't take responsibility
because I'm a Capricorn. His mom don't. Did they literally
knew that we were talking about horoscopes?

Speaker 3 (27:48):
What?

Speaker 2 (27:48):
And mom told you that her critique was that you
were a capricorns, said that if I talked to a
man besides my boyfriend, that means I'm cheating on him.
The same did not apply to him. When I asked
if that goes both ways? In her mind got mad
because I told her that I have a good relationship
with my parents. Great gave me a Coach handbag for
Christmas when I asked for a pet store gift card.

(28:09):
I don't use handbags and I'm not a fan of
designer stuff. Asked for a Louis Vuitton Stanley cup. When
I asked her what she wanted for Christmas. I'm a
broke college student. I'm not spending that kind of money
on anyone, especially her. You should sell the purse that
she gave you. You go and then buy her her
cover and knockoff. Yeah, she'll never know. Continuously telling my

(28:31):
boyfriend he shouldn't settle for me because I'm too fat.
I'm a healthy weight, and even if I wasn't, that's
unbelievably rude. Absolutely it is got mad that I wouldn't
give her and her family all of my grad ceremony
tickets because I wanted my family to come. We only
get five tickets each. My parents aren't going to my
boyfriend's ceremony either. Sent my boyfriend's card to the mechanic
while we were on a cruise, so we had no

(28:53):
way to return to school, so she got to drive us,
and then got hissed when we refused to spend the
rest of the day with her because we we had
other plants. Spent an hour screaming at my boyfriend when
I dropped him off to pick up his car because
I didn't come in to say hi, which we agreed
beforehand I wouldn't do because she'd get mad. No matter what, Well,
you're right about that. One told my boyfriend I was

(29:15):
raised poorly and she was away better mother. She hates
that my boyfriend and I have a good relationship with
my family. My boyfriend and I have been working on
setting boundaries, and after their last talk, he basically told
her to leave him alone and he'll reach out when
he's ready. She hasn't been respecting it, in still texts
multiple times a day, but has backed off calling. My
boyfriend and I agreed it would be good to have

(29:36):
one last talk before graduation to try to avoid a
blow up. On the day before, I drafted a text
and had him send it in a group chat with her.
Her response was that she was so proud of us
for taking steps to make things right. I told my boyfriend,
if she raises her voice at me one more time
or makes one rude comment, I'm ending the conversation and
that would be the last time she sees of me

(29:57):
besides graduation for a very long time time. The talk
is in two days. Wish me luck and there is
an update. Do you have any thoughts on this story?
I just, oh, my gosh, and you and us gross
don't talk to me and my son. Yeah, I mean,
I'm just wondering what your partner is doing. And on
all of this, it does seem like you guys are

(30:18):
quite young, so it might be hard for him to
to kind of stand up to his mo mom. But uh,
really not cool that you have to deal with all
of this, you know, verbal nonsense. Yeah, yeah, it might
be one of the things that you just have to
be like, what what are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (30:32):
And then just like ignore it, let her yap every
time she talks to you.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
You know what are you even saying?

Speaker 4 (30:42):
Who the perfect time you bust out the willy Wonka
you hit him with the mumble mumble. You can't keep
mumbling at me. I don't know what you're saying, don't know.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
What you're talking about? Update, hegas After my last post,
I was for an update, So here it is. I
figured I should give a little background first though. My
boyfriend and I am twenty two years old. We met
four years ago at the beginning of a college We
were friends for a year and then started dating. We
have now been together for three years and it is serious. Yeah,

(31:16):
I mean three year relationship, pretty big deal. Yeah totally.
He is moving to my home state with me in
a few weeks and we were planning on getting engaged
within the year. Wow. Oh wow, I mean three years
post college. Yeah, that's so yeah. Okay, on to the update.
We had our phone call last night with his mom,
and it went pretty much as expected. It started with

(31:36):
me telling her I got a job in my home state.
Boyfriend is still looking for a job, so she was
mad I got a job first. Dude, she'd be mad
if you didn't have a job. She'd be like, Oh,
you're not doing anything, you're not taking responsibility. Yeah, and
she's mad that you do have a job. I can't win.
This woman has not heard of any other emotion. She's
just always mad. Yeah, likes it that way. Yeah. And

(31:58):
boyfriend told her he was going to move with me.
She tried every phrasing to say he shouldn't go with
me without coming out and saying it. I raised you
to be ane pendent. You are young and have your
whole life ahead of you. Don't settle, et cetera. Then
I told her that the reason I wanted to have
this chat was because the last time she spoke to
her son, she was upset because of something I did,

(32:18):
and I would like her to tell me why she
was upset so we could talk it through. She went
right into manipulator mood, refusing to talk to me about it.
She just kept repeating, think about it, What did you do?
That is so disrespectful to the mother of your boyfriend.
H I know why she's mad. She didn't like that
my boyfriend told me not to come inside with him
when I dropped it off to pick up his car.

(32:39):
I told her that I'm not playing mind games and
she can tell me why she's upset. That pissed her off,
and she kept repeating, you should know think about it.
Is this a riddle? I hate that response. Yeah, I
always know. Just freaking tell me you know what you did?
So wait, don't If I don't, can you freaking believe me?
You deal with your doing talking about I refuse to

(33:02):
take that. BS. From there, the conversation shifted into my
eating habits for context. I'm a picky eater, but I'm
really polite about it. I do not have an eating disorder.
My doctor knows all about my picky eating and no
one is concerned, but she is. She asked me if
I had an eating disorder, and when I said no,
she didn't believe me. You don't just ask people that,

(33:24):
oh me, like you got one of those eating disorders.
Like I'm not gonna take no for an answer here.
So she asked my boyfriend many times, and he gave
her the same answer, so she called my mom and
asked her, God, what's the point of asking if you
just won't believe it. Yeah, She's like, I'm gonna keep
asking around until I get it. Yes. Yeah. During this conversation,

(33:45):
she claimed that my picky eating is disrespectful to her,
and I shut that down fast. I told her that
it's none of her business. Yeah, I forgot to talk
about respect. Yeah, let's talk about you. And she can't
call my parents every time she doesn't like something I say.
She keept repeating things like, I'm sorry you have such
perfect parents that I suck. Oh my god, I had
to raise these boys. Oh by myself. Oh my god.

(34:06):
My boyfriend's dad is not in the picture. But my
boyfriend was raised by his mom and his grandma, who
lives with them. His mom has never lived alone in
her life. Her mom has always lived with her. I
told her I'm not insulting her parenting skills, and my
parents aren't perfect and she needs to knock it off.
There were a few more points she tried to make
that I kept shutting down, but that's the main gist.

(34:26):
There were a few times she outright lied and then
fake cried when I called her out on them. I
know it was fake because they disappeared when she found
a new reason to hate on me. At one point,
I told her I think she just doesn't like me
and looks for reasons to hate me, and her response was,
I don't know you enough to say I don't like you,
but what I do know about you, I don't like.

(34:50):
That's so funny. Wait, I'm gonna read that again. Guys,
I don't know you enough to say I don't like you,
but what I do know about you, I don't like like.

Speaker 3 (35:01):
I can't say that I don't like you as all,
but I certainly don't like the little pieces?

Speaker 2 (35:06):
Who like the little pieces? I do know? Oh my gosh.
I left the conversation when she told me, at the
end of the day, you're the child and I'm the adult,
So what I think goes, You're not my mom for real?
She is an adult also, yeah one, okay, well, which
I'm twenty two. Shut the f up. I told her
I'm done and walked away, but my boyfriend stayed. Later

(35:26):
he told me that she didn't even notice I left
for a while. She was so busy continuing to yell
at me. I don't know everything that went down after
I walked away, but my boyfriend seems content. He told
me that she said she didn't want him to be
in a position where he had to choose between us,
and he said, good, because I'll choose every time. She
hated that freaking mic drop moment. But you know what

(35:47):
else is a mic drop moment? What Sophia listening to
full episodes of stories just like this? Just go to Spotify,
Apple podcast, or iHeartRadio and search up. Okay, story time.
A little bit left to the story, but to any
final thoughts. I think that in this situation, you just
have to laugh. You just gotta not just get a guard.

Speaker 4 (36:09):
Ah.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
It's like, ah, there she goes again, being such a
silly billy. You should be a comedian with all them
jokes you've got. Yeah. And then like, there's no point
in getting mad about it because she's just gonna be
She's gonna be mad at everything. Yeah, and there's literally.

Speaker 3 (36:23):
Nothing you could do, right, so you just have to
be like, oh my gosh, that silly.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
Woman being mad again. And also like maybe you get
rid of her number, lose my number, lose my number,
block me please, But there is a little bit left
to this story. All right. From here, we decided that
I'm officially no contact with her. Nice makes sense, and
he is preparing for a temporary no contact to begin
after graduation. This is mainly because he wants to be

(36:48):
able to say goodbye to his grandma and get his
stuff from her house without causing problems. We still have
to see her at graduation, and she one hundred percent
will throw a tantrum, so I'm not looking forward to
the weekend. However, I feel a sense of peace that
in two weeks she will be out of my life
and we will be starting a new life together in
a place surrounded by people who actually love us and

(37:09):
treat us with respect. Yeah, and that is the end
of that story. Here you go, just be rid, Be
rid of her. Yeah, be rid of her, Be rid
of her.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to this episode.
But a quick three minute break with Asramar sponsors.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
My mother in law destroyed my hobby to make me
a real man. Well, what is this, moulin? What do
we do? I thirty eight male, live with my wife
thirty seven female, and my seven year old son. I
work as an engineer, and my wife is a senior
supervisor at a law firm. I have always loved lego
since I was a kid, and sure it's kind of childish,

(37:46):
but it makes me happy, so I've kept it as
a consistent hobby throughout my adult life. By the way,
this comes from Okay Repeat seventy eight eighty five and
if you want us men your own stories, go to
the RM slash Okay. Storytime subured it, so in twenty
twenty four, I spent months building the millennium falcon with
my son. It's me and my son's pride and joy,

(38:08):
and I often show guests who come over. My wife
doesn't really get the hype, but doesn't mind either. In
early March, my wife's parents came over for a week
to spend time with us. They agreed, and I showed
both her father and my and mother my millennium falcon.
Her father was amazed at the time it took to
build my sizeable collection, but her mother said that I

(38:30):
was with a waste of time and that I should focus
on being a real man and move up the corporate ladder.
I laughed it off, but she's pretty old and I
figured she just held very old fashioned beliefs. We left
the room and nobody really mentioned it for a few hours.
But at dinner her mother said out of nowhere that
I should give up on all this lego nonsense and

(38:50):
be a real man. We ignored this and moved on,
but you could see in her expression that she was
not happy. Nobody said anything about it or the rest
of their stay, and all seem well. The morning they left.
They left at three am, geez to catch a flight,
and we waved them off. I went back to bed,
but the next morning awoke to find my millennium falcon

(39:13):
smashed to pieces, with a note from my wife's mother,
calmly saying that this was for my own good, so
that I can be a real man and focus on
what matters.

Speaker 4 (39:25):
I agreed, though this was for his own good, because
he should do it best. Now he can rebuild the
millennium exactly.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
It turns out she had quietly destroyed it in the
night and left in the morning. I called her in
the morning, but she refused to apologize. I said that
until she apologized, they would not be coming back again.
My wife is not happy with my decision on this matter,
and honestly, I'm starting to wonder if I overreacted, did
I go overboard or am I in the right? And

(39:56):
there are some comments and an update, but what a
use say coda? The amount of entitlement from the mother
in law? Crazy? How I mean? Also, this is like
something that his seven year old son built. Right, So
not only is she like making a statement towards tear
a weird statement towards ope, but she also just kind

(40:17):
of bullied a seven year old. Right.

Speaker 4 (40:20):
It'd be different a little bit if this was like,
you know, they're just dating, they're not married, they don't
have a kid. This is like his bachelor pad she's
seeing for the first time, and he's like, check out
my room with thousands of dollars of what are toys?

Speaker 2 (40:35):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (40:35):
Like yeah, I'd be like, hey, so when you marry
my daughter, are you still gonna spend all this money?

Speaker 2 (40:41):
But it's different, it's different. That makes it and you
would still be wrong us. Yeah, absolutely absolutely, It would
just make a little bit more sense at least. But
there are some comments history chick ninety nine, she ruined
something you and your son did together. Regardless of her
feelings about you, she actively did something that hurt her grandchild.
That right, there is grounds to not allow her in

(41:04):
your home or have a relationship with your child. Your
wife needs to think of how disrespected you were as
an entire family unit. If she doesn't back you up
with this, then you have some serious issues. Good luck, dude.
Not the ale and dumbley hopeful says the wife let
her mother tell him he wasn't a real man at dinner,
likely in front of their child, and said nothing. That

(41:25):
is a great point, Yeah, like why why are you
defining what a man is? And also, you know, putting
down a child's father in front of the child.

Speaker 4 (41:35):
Well, if this is how mother in law is, can
you imagine growing up with that for however many years?

Speaker 2 (41:41):
I wonder if she has any siblings. The wife, hmmm,
I would be rethinking my relationship if I rope oh.
Research sixty nine says, yeah. I don't often get on
the divorce bandwagon, and I'm not now. I was about
to say, I was like, whoa, but geez oh, you
are supposed to support and look after one another. Why

(42:02):
on earth would Op's wife allow this behavior unless she
secretly agrees with her mother.

Speaker 4 (42:07):
I mean that's also I feel there's two highly likely possibilities.

Speaker 2 (42:12):
One she can't stand up to her mom and to
is that she agrees. Clotzi Contest says, respecting someone else's
property is common decency. Correct, You and your son invested
time and interest in a hobby that brings you joy.
That is just as, if not more important, as increasing
your earning potential. When your son is an adult, he
will retain memories of the time you spent together. Gaslight

(42:35):
Gbt says, let gma know that she just ruined her
image of herself to grandson for the rest of his life.
Eleanor of Aquitaine. When I was six, my grandmother threw
away one of my hot wheel sets because I'm a
girl and girls have no business collecting toy cars. I
still think of her as a bet granny and she's

(42:57):
been gone for almost twenty years. There is an update.
First off, I want to thank everyone for the outpouring
of support. I had a good long talk with my
wife in an attempt to resolve the situation, and we've
called the mother in law, which I hoped would diffuse
the situation and bring things back down to earth. Instead,

(43:18):
tensions have seemed only to have escalated. Oh no, for
anyone who didn't see the original post. My wife's parents
came to visit for a week, in which things went
relatively smoothly, aside from some disparaging comments about my lego
collection from the mother in law. But after they left
in the night, we discovered the Millennium falcon destroyed, with
a note from my mother in law saying she did

(43:40):
this so that I can move on and be a
real man. The craziest part, I think, to me, is
the note right like I did it. Yes, it was
me all along, the audacity. Firstly, after lunch, my wife
and I discussed the situation adult to adult. I expressed

(44:00):
my feelings of her not being behind me in this.
She admitted to having harbord feelings against my lego collection.
She also admitted to secretly agreeing partially with her mother.
She doesn't think that my mother in law should have
gone as far as she did, but according to my wife,

(44:20):
I need to move on. I feel hurt by this
since it's been my lifelong hobby and being an engineer,
I take great joy in building various creations with legos.

Speaker 4 (44:30):
Just imagine she's like, you need to move on. You're
making our child childish. You need to sit down with
him and teach him how to do taxis.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
I don't understand seven years old. Also, I yeah, he
can't bet once a checkbook. I don't know why. I
don't get why adults are so boring sometimes, you know,
some adults a hand out of it, like you can't
that's that's a certain age limit for that thing, and
it's like, okay, is it hurting anyone? After that, my

(44:59):
wife and I I were certainly not in agreement, but
we were at least on the same page. We also
both wanted to resolve things with my mother in law,
so that day we called her mother and things did
not go well, to say the least. I simply told
her that I was sorry I had to not let
her come back, and I hope things can be resolved quickly.

(45:19):
Still feeling upset about the Lego millennium, falcon, I said
that all I asked of her was an apology. She refused,
saying that if she bends for me at all, I
would never get over my lego obsession. Jee.

Speaker 4 (45:32):
Hey, newsflash, mother in law, even if you don't bend,
I'm not getting over it. Yep, you just won't be
able to see me or your ever grandchild. That's the
craziest thing here. Yeah, everyone's forgetting. There is a seven
year old involved who also enjoys legos.

Speaker 2 (45:48):
My wife is not happy with any of this, and frankly,
the marriage is starting to show tension, which worries me greatly.
She seems to be more distant after all of this.
I think maybe you go to her and say, I mean, yes,
this is my hobby, but also this is something that
I enjoy doing with our son, who is seven. Are
you going to deprive the seven year old of the
legos too?

Speaker 4 (46:08):
Not to mention, millions of other people all over the
world enjoy this.

Speaker 2 (46:13):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (46:14):
She's she's acting like you, you know, she's acting like
you're like you're you're crawling around on the floor like
a baby, fling with.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
It's like, no, you're literally building something, tunt like. There's
so many adults that, I mean, like stage designers in
theater builds like little tiny sets and they buy little
tiny things, and that's like an job like this is
you're building something. It's not so weird. She seems to
be more distant after all of this. By the way,

(46:43):
you shouldn't be distant to us because you can listen
to full episodes of stories just like this. Just go
to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio in search of Looky
story Time. But we've got a little bit left to
this story. Do you have any final thought?

Speaker 4 (47:00):
I don't know if this is like a divorce situation yet. No,
it's clearly like a hey, we need to get on
the same page because nay, you know, we have a kid.
I'm your husband, and now you've said some stuff that
makes me think like you don't respect me?

Speaker 2 (47:14):
Yeah, you know, or you so like I mean, this
is a woman who's been raised by her mother her
whole life, and her mother has these ideas about what
a man is and what a man cannot do, and
she's probably, you know, been taught that that's the correct,
Like the Opie's wife has been taught that that's correct,

(47:36):
and now she's putting all of that on op and
he's like, whoa, where did all this come from? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (47:41):
I would just like, you know, try to have a
non confrontational conversation.

Speaker 2 (47:47):
Where you just go, okay, so where does this really
come from? Yeah? You know, like where do you think
that I am not spending enough time with you. Do
you think that I am not doing a good enough
job like with work, Yeah, it is. There's something that
I am lacking hammer home. Also, it's an activity you
do with your son. Yes, yeah, like truly. I mean again,

(48:09):
it does it. It shouldn't matter, But I think maybe
one way to get through to your wife is by
saying that it's an activity you do with your son.
My son has developed a strong disliking of the mother
in law, and I really can't blame him. She has
been getting a little crazy and seems to only talk
about Trump these days. Yeah, it makes sense. Okay, should

(48:30):
we start considering a senior home for Yeah, so that's
the update. Things are getting even worse and I'm not
sure if I can salvage the situation. I'll update everyone
when new develops, developments occur, and there are some final comments.
Baby Toe's Salami seems like some deeper issues here than legos.
My guess would be that your mother in law's actions

(48:52):
and words are based on things that your wife has
said to her. Mother in law went off the rails,
but your wife likely lit the use. Go molistic says
I agree. I think the wife is more complicit than
Opie thinks, I wouldn't even be shocked if the wife
asked her mom to do that. Even if she didn't
do that, wife is clearly complaining a lot to her

(49:13):
mother about this. I recommend marriage counseling. Stat The other
piece of this is the son now disliking grandma who
destroyed the project's son and dad worked on and bonded over.
If mom agrees with Grandma that it was warranted, how
long before the son pulls away from his mother? Pouty
Ting says, how ethan stupid. The wife has no place

(49:36):
telling him what hobbies he can or can't do, unless
it's affecting their finances or getting an Opie's way of
fulfilling adult responsibilities. That's what I was saying. I was
about to say that too. I was like, well, I
was like, if.

Speaker 4 (49:47):
His hobby is gambling all of their money away at
the casino, you might have a problem with that.

Speaker 2 (49:52):
Yeah, that's fair. I couldn't imagine if my wife tried
to take from me the one thing that reconnects me
to my inner child or to my son. Honestly, that's
breakup material for me. Raising at nineteen sixty two says
this poor kid, his grandma breaks something you spent hours
helping to build, well like months months helping to build. Yeah,

(50:12):
I mean it was it was weeks and weeks Yeah,
and his mom is on granny side. Mother search says,
it's the disrespect your wife has for you and the
fact that she didn't give an f that this was
something that you spent time on and bonded over with
your son. That's the problem. I think.

Speaker 4 (50:30):
I get it what wife's looking at the price tag
and going do what, oh like that have eight seventy
five dollars film Millennium Falcon.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
I get it. It's a hobby.

Speaker 4 (50:39):
I get it that you can do it with our
son eight hundred and seventy five dollars.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
We could all go on vacation. Well, then that's the
well that's what she needs to bring up then, right.
It shouldn't just be like, oh, your hobby with the child,
and she should be like, hey, I you know, I
feel like we should be saving some money here, like
you don't have to necessarily give up legos, but maybe
we go for the cheaper ones.

Speaker 4 (51:02):
Yes, maybe don't buy the yeah lego set.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
You know, she didn't give an f about how this
had affected her son. She didn't give an f and
has no respect for your work as an engineer and
seems to think it is not a real man's job.
You are focused on thinking that you have a mother
in law problem, but you actually have a wife problem.
I'm willing to bet good odds that her mother's behavior
has been fueled by your wife, and that's why she

(51:26):
had the audacity to do what she did.

Speaker 4 (51:28):
I think it's probably the other way around, but regardless
a degree, it's a wife problem. Forget the mother in law,
she doesn't matter. Fix your relationship with your wife.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
Neither of them even care about what they are doing
to your son with their behavior. They deliberately destroyed something
that was not just materially valuable to him, but also
emotionally significant, a project that he had built with his
father that he was proud of. You and your wife
need to have a proper come to Jesus talk about
the state of your relationship and why she is so

(51:58):
nonchalant about her mother's wane destruction of something that meant
so much to her own son. And that is the
end of that story.

Speaker 4 (52:07):
Yes, and I do maintain the path forward here as
the lego enthusiasts. Yeah to you know, because i mean
I'm thinking if I'm that age and I made something
like that and it got destroyed, I'd be destroyed.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
Yeah, I would cry. But it's just like, dude, round two,
we get to do it again. Yeah, well, I think awesome.
I think that's how you kind of pitch it to
your son. You're exactly. Yeah, it really sucks. It really
stinks that grandma you know, did that. But but that's okay.
We can rebuild in and that's so much fun.

Speaker 4 (52:34):
And you can turn it into a life lesson. It's like, hey,
you get knocked down, you know, back to stay down
there forever. We rebuild that puppy.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
Yeah, round up. It's a metaphor. And then you go, son,
I know you're seven and you don't understand what a
metaphor is, but you're about to learn. To be honest,
I feel like if you spend eight hundred dollars, you
would want to get some use out of that. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (52:55):
Yeah, I mean like you have to have a battle,
have it fly around, maybe run it into a star destroyer. Yeah,
make the destruction. Like then you got to separate the
pieces for each set. I think durred said, what if
the uh, what if the pieces are broken? Another great
opportunity to teach a life lesson. Yeah, sometimes you just
got to keep moving forward. Glue, We'll figure it out

(53:18):
to the best we can keep moving forward.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
Good thing about legos though, hard to break those pieces,
it is, Yeah, I mean some of them, some of them.

Speaker 4 (53:26):
If this woman actually smashed this and then like broke
all the important pieces and that's embarrassing, I'm taking her
to court. Yeah, I'd be like, well she she wasted. Yeah,
that's like eight hundred dollars. Yeah, eight hundred dollars plus
emotional damages for my son. My husband's cousin keeps insulting me.
It's driving me crazy.

Speaker 2 (53:46):
Insult them back. It's time.

Speaker 4 (53:49):
I thirty one female, had a breakdown at my husband's
families New Year's Eve and attacked his step cousin. Wait
what now, I'm a shamed to look at my in laws.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
By the way, this comes from.

Speaker 4 (54:03):
Zumodele Moncito thirteen and if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the ur slash Okay Storytime subrenit So.
I'm thirty one female Colombian married to a forty year
old man. My husband is British and his stepfather is
a Moroccan man. We live in Colombia, but every year
we and our kids travel to the UK to spend
New Year's Eve with his family. I've been with my

(54:25):
husband for nearly eight years. He was raised by his
stepfather and he is the only father he ever knew.
My father in law is a great man with a
big family. But since I started dating my SOO, his
step cousin let's call her Amira, has been nothing but
hostile and cruel. She is always antagonizing me, talking about

(54:48):
how I'm with my husband because he's from a superior race.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
What what does your husband doing that? I'm sorry if
anyone ever said any thing to like that to a
friend or a I mean, like just anyone. But like
if I'm hearing that, I'm saying, get out and don't
let me ever see you.

Speaker 4 (55:09):
Right again, we don't know if this was said like
behind closed doors or in like a quiet moment.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
Yeah maybe, Op's just like I'm.

Speaker 4 (55:17):
Not even gonna like give her I'm not gonna make
a big deal out of that because I'm not even
gonna give her power in this moment. But let's keep
the reading. She would say how my husband's only with
me because of my money and calling me various slurs.
I'm a mix of Turkish, Brazilian and Colombian heritage. She
likes to point to her and his pure blood.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
Get out of here, Get out of here. I'd be like, yeah, hey, husband,
I don't want to ever be around yourst cousin because
they're ritist. Every time we go over and see them.

Speaker 4 (55:51):
For years, everyone in the family has fought with her
about it. Sadly, my in laws are her guardians since
she has no parents, so I have to meet her
every time we meet them. About five years ago, after
years of fighting, I was formally diagnosed with autism and
bipolar disorder.

Speaker 2 (56:11):
The last one is a family thing.

Speaker 4 (56:14):
Since then, I've been using specific medication along with the
therapy I already had to manage it with both of
my disorders. I've always had some triggers to many people,
fireworks for an extended period, certain foods and fabrics, and loud,
scratchy sounds. I've adapted myself to many things and can
navigate well. Since the day we arrived, however, Amira has

(56:37):
been extremely hostile. My sister in law said that she
recently ended a relationship and she's aggressive towards everyone. But
it's been extreme. Why are we hanging out with her?

Speaker 2 (56:47):
Yeah, that's what I'm asking.

Speaker 4 (56:49):
Hopefully we'll get some information on why this person is
tolerated to this level.

Speaker 2 (56:54):
For God's sakes, So it's been extreme.

Speaker 4 (56:57):
She accidentally and I'm gonnaut air quotes around that broke
my favorite perfume, threatened to cut my daughter's hair when
she wouldn't let Amira touch it, and constantly played spider
tricks on my eldest son.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
Spider trick, Spider trick? What is that? What is it?

Speaker 4 (57:16):
My husband, mother in law, and father in law spoke
to a Mirah several times. On the thirty first New
Year's Eve, as usual, my in laws through a big party.
I wore a white dress, matching my family. We were
enjoying ourselves until my sister in law realized Amrah was
wasted well before midnight. She looked at me and start

(57:36):
saying that she couldn't believe that her cousin married a
Latin witch, that I was a vulgar woman, that he
was only with me for my money, and that he
should leave me and be with a real woman. That
it was a disgrace for the family that he had
children with someone from my race. So all of you
are bad now, yeah for not just kicking a Mira out.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
Yeah, I don't. I honestly, at a certain point, even
if you are like, oh, like, we always tell her off.
We always say like, you can't say that, even if
you're doing that. If you continue to invite a person
who you know is raised and who verbally attacks a
person in your family who is of a different race,

(58:23):
then you are the ale, right, You're the ale. You
invited her. I don't care if you're saying, hey, Maara,
you can't say that you keep inviting her. I hate
this woman. Yeah, she says no. And husband, if you
don't get active, I'm gonna hate you too. I already
hate him a little bit.

Speaker 4 (58:42):
I burst into tears and she started laughing. I don't
know what came over me, but I've put up with
her for years, and she talked about my children. I snapped,
I hit her, and my husband and father in law
had to separate us. I ran to my room and
locked myself in. I've been here ever since, but I
can't even look at my children. I feel awful I'm

(59:05):
not a bad person, but I exploded in front of everyone.
How do I get over it? We have an edit
for clarification. First of all, my husband did defend me, okay,
and his parents and sister. Also, our yearly vacation to
his family country is something that is important to me too.
Amira's case is a bit more complicated. She was orphaned

(59:26):
of her father early and her mother sent her to
my father in law. She was always a very problematic girl.
I do believe she likes my husband, or at least
what he represents stability and money and also a paternal figure.
She never was this constant in offending me, but I
think her breakup has made her more snappy and dangerous.
She also has a drinking problem. When she started, my

(59:49):
mother in law took her to the other room and
reprimanded her. But she came back later and then I snapped.
I whacked her and shoved her on the floor.

Speaker 2 (59:57):
Justified crash at Yeah, yeah, it's I mean years of
the thing is like, you know, we're always saying don't
we know known violence? We don't. But when you say crap,
expect to get hit. You can't just get away with
saying crazy stuff and think there's gotta be no.

Speaker 4 (01:00:17):
God's goods when you poke the bear with a stick
and it can't be surprised when it mauls. Yeah, come on,
they know that if they stop supporting or they kick
her out and they just let her go and they
stop helping her and supporting her because of her behavior,
that she's going to absolutely like fall off the cliff,
like her life. She's going to her destitute, she's gonna

(01:00:37):
be And it's like now they feel they can't be
responsible for putting her in that position. No, that's where
this is.

Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
I think that's probably, I mean, that's why she has
guardians and she's twenty five. Probably, But the thing is
they don't need to, like they don't need to invite
these people or at least her to every family thing. Right. No,
it's as soon as it's like I get out.

Speaker 4 (01:01:00):
I felt ashamed because in all those years, no one,
not even my husband, had seen me snap. When I
was a teenager, I let my anger out sometimes and
had very intense reactions, and today I know it was
from my bipolar disorder. Also, even today, I'm afraid of
any big emotion, too much anger or happiness or sadness.
I'm scared because I don't know if I will know

(01:01:21):
how to deal with those feelings. So to finally snap
was something serious. She could talk about me all she wants.
I know how to defend myself, but she came after
my children. As for my family, I finally got out
of my bedroom. I've been refusing to talk to anyone,
but now I told my hobby that me and the
children are going home. He says he will come to

(01:01:44):
my father in law asked for a family reunion. I
don't know, dude, but Amir a better not either.

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
Yeah. I think you have to put your foot down
and say that one she threatened to cut my child's
hair off. We are not. We will like we would
love to see you guys, but not going anywhere where
a Mir is.

Speaker 4 (01:02:00):
She can say all the vicious stuff about me as
she wants you saying stuff about my kids. Yeah, nope,
about your grandkids.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:02:08):
My husband is currently looking for tickets to Bogata. Apparently
we won't be able to get them until tomorrow or Friday.
But until then we're staying in a hotel. I haven't
seen Amira yet, and God knows it's for the best.
I made him read all of your comments, especially about
the lack of action, and he was very disappointed in himself.
It was an admission of guilt and he sees now

(01:02:29):
how he failed me and our family. Good well, thank god.
Our children are five and three. Our little girl told
him how Aunt Amira said she was going to cut
her hair because ugly girls don't deserve to have long hair.
My daughter has blonde hair like my mom, very straight
and long. My son told us that she said my
husband was leaving and she was going to throw them
both out. God knows if they'd told me that before,

(01:02:52):
that woman wouldn't be breathing. We talked for a long time.
I set my limits. We're going home on the first flight.
We'll stay in a hotel until that. I don't want
to see his cousin ever again, and I won't apologize,
and I refuse to have contact or let my children
have contact with my in laws if Amera continues to
be treated like a child without limits.

Speaker 2 (01:03:14):
Fair. Yeah, all of that was fully fair. Yep.

Speaker 4 (01:03:17):
Comments Comment number one is Jejajmin stupid or something?

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
Did he defend you at all?

Speaker 4 (01:03:25):
Why did he let his family member berate you so
loudly the very first time she insulted you. He should
have said something or you both should have left. And
what in the world of.

Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
Harry Potter magic versus this pure blood? What are you
a mud blood?

Speaker 4 (01:03:40):
And you've been putting up with this for years while
your husband and in laws made anemic noises at a mirror,
so not on. First of all, you were not at
fault by a very long mile, by a country mile.

Speaker 1 (01:03:54):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (01:03:54):
You have been more graceful in the handling of this
than any vile.

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
Deserve.

Speaker 4 (01:04:01):
Secondly, it was your husband's responsibility to stand up and
step in front of you when his cousin started spewing
such filth, and he didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
Your in laws let.

Speaker 4 (01:04:10):
Their ward insult their daughter in law for years. These
are the people that ought to be ashamed for. They
have much to answer for. You deserve better.

Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
O p.

Speaker 4 (01:04:20):
She says, it's because I'm a daughter of a Brazilian
mom and a Colombian slash Turkish dad.

Speaker 2 (01:04:26):
She says, my blood is way too mixed. And there's
an update. Yeah, well, we already know that Amir is insane.
We don't have to care what this idiot thinks about anything. Yeah,
like literally doesn't like block her out the problem. Amir
obviously is an insane, horrible person. Put her to the side.
If we want to fix the situation, we talked to

(01:04:46):
the sane people in the story and say, hausband, why
are we Why have we been going around this person.
My family and I are in a hotel.

Speaker 4 (01:04:54):
Tomorrow we're going to Bogata, and last night we had
a family reunion. When Amira calm down, my in laws
talk to her again. She repeated her statements, and she
said that I was just as flawed as she is,
but that life had treated me well and given me
everything on a silver platter. Amira also said that my

(01:05:14):
husband shouldn't have married me, nor should he have had children,
because it was obvious they would be like me. My
mother in law then asked who he should have married.
She said that if he wanted to rescue someone so badly,
it could have been her.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
She would have appreciated the help, like it would have
been nice if he married me.

Speaker 4 (01:05:32):
I don't know, It's just a thought, just like when
people say the most pathetic thing you've ever heard, like
do they not feel it at all? Back at the meeting,
a few points were raised. My children and I will
preserve ourselves. If Amira stays in the house, we won't come.

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
Yep. Good.

Speaker 4 (01:05:51):
At this point, my in laws have told me that
they've already started the process to have Amira reevaluated and
possibly hospitalized. Look, I was gonna make a joker earlier
about maybe, you know, if we could put one person
in a sanitarium, in just that one person, it should
be her, because sanitariums are awful, and that's why they
don't exist anymore, because they were criminal.

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
The thing is, I think she's having I think she
is severely mentally ill. Yes, I think she's Yeah, I agree.
I think this is like you see, like, for example,
you have a very famous singer who'says about crazy things
and people just let them say it. But it's like
that person needs medication, that person should not Like why

(01:06:33):
are we like uplifting that person instead of yeah, instead
of like you know, putting them in a place where
they cannot hurt themselves or others. This is, you know,
she needs she needs mental help.

Speaker 4 (01:06:48):
So if a Mira stays in the house or we
won't come. At this point, my in laws have told
me that they've already started the process to have a
Mira reevaluated and possibly hospitalized. My sister in law has
been collected evidence of her behavior and according to the therapist,
she has a good chance of becoming a patient in
a sanatorium.

Speaker 2 (01:07:06):
Oh my god, to those aren't real though, right, they're done. Wait,
they have those in the UK. We can you can
you see exactly what a sanatorium is. So like a
sanatorium is like basically and I think I know what
it is. It was fun to make sure, am I right?

Speaker 4 (01:07:25):
Or was it where they put like, quote unquote criminally
insane people.

Speaker 2 (01:07:30):
In America? I thought it was just kind of like
a place like where mental patients but they like live.

Speaker 4 (01:07:35):
And it's it was like back in the day, if
you like were you know, having like a full blown
breakdown in the street, like you know, when you're underwear
going like you know, a van would pull up and
take you and like just you'd be in the sanitarium.

Speaker 2 (01:07:49):
Well maybe it's like that, but it's a little bit
nicer now. It's more like a senior home.

Speaker 4 (01:07:53):
I'm sure that wherever they are there's definitely a lot
of laws and regulations and rules that keep them okay.

Speaker 2 (01:08:00):
In America, they got really bad. This is what's frustrating
to me is the fact that we're now learning that
this woman again has severe mental issues. Is crazy to me,
like these people around her have not done her any
service by not speaking up, and also have not done
op any service for having to put up with all

(01:08:21):
this hatred.

Speaker 4 (01:08:22):
But this process could take up to two months. It
will be a good private institution with excellent staff. When
she's discharged, the plan is to send her to live
in Morocco with her paternal aunt and her husband. They
live in a rural area, can afford it and have
no children. Amira will no longer have contact with England
when she.

Speaker 2 (01:08:42):
Goes to live there.

Speaker 4 (01:08:43):
Unfortunately, even though they raised her, they think that a
sudden break in contact will be less painful. And by
the way, you never have to break contact with us
because you could just go listen to full episodes with
stories just like this one on Spotify, iHeartRadio Apple podcasts. Really,
wherever you listen the podcast, all you have to do
is search Okay Storytime, and then you can listen to

(01:09:03):
the full archive of our episodes. There's over two thousand
of them. Yes, so we do have a little bit
more story left. I think we're all in agreement here,
let's finish the story. My husband and I also talked.
I told him how much I resented the fact that
he no longer protected me. He apologized again. He said that,
like everyone else, he ended up being too lenient with

(01:09:25):
his cousin, but he wants to make amends. The whole
family is going to go through counseling, and I'm going
to find a professional for him in Columbia too. I'm
also going to find out about couples counseling and a
child therapist for my children.

Speaker 2 (01:09:38):
How do you have to find it? Again? He find
it because he's incompetent. Yeah, and please. That is the
end of that story. They go, they go, yeah, I
think still. My advice for you Ope in the future
is you are very right to feel frustrated angry that

(01:10:00):
your husband and your family members did not stand up
for you, but also like, don't put up with that,
you know, uh, make that known before you get to
the point where you're people why I think she had
It's been years, I know. I know. If you go
to your husband and say, hey, I don't want to

(01:10:20):
ever be around this person and he's like, well, I
don't care. I'm gonna be around her and you have
to be around her too. Then it's like this relationship
is story.

Speaker 4 (01:10:27):
I don't think because she had said in the story,
she's like she could say whatever she wants to me.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
I don't care.

Speaker 4 (01:10:33):
But once the kids got brought into it, yea, then
it was like, oh, mama, bear that this is.

Speaker 2 (01:10:38):
Not like did anything wrong? I just think that, like definitely, yeah, yeah,
I mean there's spons or feelings exactly. Hey, it's Sam.
We're going to get back to these stories. But here's
three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My mother in
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(01:11:00):
bad or bad bad? I've been with my wife a
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(01:11:21):
My mother in law is a nurse. I knew long
before marriage, that she was snooping into my health records
and also looking into my mom's who passed away in
two thousand and nine. I only know this because at
the time I was in hospital QA and staffed quite
a bit, and my genius mother in law left her
footprints all over the charts. I assume you mean fingerprints.

(01:11:44):
I have asked her to respect my privacy, but she
comes back with, maybe you have nothing to hide, then
you don't need privacy. Your mother in law here needs
to be prosecuted to the fullest suc out of the law.
I felt like she was trying to find out if
I had any mental health issues, which I don't have
any diagnosis of, or any red flag, red flag health issues.

(01:12:04):
If she was so curious, she could have just asked me.
She somehow charted that she gave me a flu shot
one year. This isn't a one click whoopsie, because she
would have had to open my charts, open the immunization tab,
select the vaccine, enter the manufacturer, lot exby why would
she do that? Fast forward a few years later, when

(01:12:28):
my wife was in labor with our first child, my
mother in law called, emailed, texted constantly when I picked up.
When I picked up the phone, she yelled at me, going,
you're not taking care of my daughter. Keep in mind
my wife is now a stay at home mom with
some days both kids are in daycare so my wife
can have time to herself. I'm the most responsible and

(01:12:51):
hard working person you'll ever meet. I don't know, buddy.
I wake up every day and meet myself in the mirror. Yeah,
I've met a lot of responsible and hard working people. No,
I'm just kidding, Dakota. I grew up with nothing and
finished seven years of college by twenty three, while working
two jobs to support myself and my passing mom. We

(01:13:13):
are in our thirties with our dream house paid off
and basically cruising slash passive income building slash set for life,
all because I busted my butt when I was young.
I don't smoke, drink, or do anything risky. I don't
show off. I don't blow money on stupid stuff. But
I live responsibly and go on lots of fun vacations

(01:13:34):
with my family. I've been told here are my parents'
weat dream by other girls.

Speaker 1 (01:13:39):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (01:13:39):
I don't like thinking by that phrase. Now to get
back to my mother in law, I listed off the
stuff she's done in email. Email title is usually question mark,
question mark, question mark or fyi off. In multiple email threads,
title question mark, question mark, question mark pertaining to the
same topic are to follow ideas as they are thrown

(01:13:59):
out half hazardly. Not uncommon to open email at night
and have five emails titled question mark times three and
three of them will be on the same topic. The
record to beat is twelve emails in one day, which
included a very informative email telling me where to put
my water by my bed in case I get thirsty
at night, but not somewhere I may knock it over,
thank God. Gives commands on what to do, often disoriented

(01:14:22):
and disorganized, highly stressed, highly urgent, thinking out loud, lots
of back and forth. Gives commands but may change mind
at a moment's notice with another email. So she's sending
like written voice memos.

Speaker 4 (01:14:34):
I would just like stop responding opening or send it
straight to junk.

Speaker 2 (01:14:41):
Yes, just like ignore these and decisive can lead to
added stress. Communication is a list of commands one way
only quickly turns into a disorganized interrogation. Also very nosy,
right is so ignore her? Uh no respect for personal privacy.
If you're not knowing anything bad, then you don't need
privacy requires immediate submission to commands, gets impatient for reply,

(01:15:04):
makes us feel obligated to reply asap. If reply isn't
given in time, original email is sent again with title
question mark question mark question mark second time, which indicates
a reply is now required. If no reply is given
to question mark second time, then an in person confrontation occurs. Okay,
so it can't just go to junk because she does get.

Speaker 4 (01:15:27):
Upset, I don't care. If she's upset, she can go
to junk, And if she wants to get upset and
confront me, she can hear it straight from my mouth
that I don't care.

Speaker 2 (01:15:38):
Yeah, one time she did this with me. I asked
her to look in her set folder and it turns
out she was misspelling my email address. How she misspelled
my address when she emails me five times a day
is beyond me. Oftentimes we don't know how to reply
because the email doesn't convey a complete thought and sometimes
doesn't contain a question. We don't know how we're supposed

(01:15:59):
to respond. Gives a little to no time for follow up,
often multiple times a day. Nagging didn't you do it yet?
Did you do it yet? Don't forget? Don't forget many
follow up emails. If there's a lot of time leading
to a date, then weekly reminders or more leads to
alert fatigue. After a while, it's a constant fire truck
siren wordy, too many instructions to disorganized alert fatigue. So

(01:16:24):
is she average crazy? Or is she or is she crazy? Crazy?
And there is an update? She sounds a little crazy.

Speaker 4 (01:16:31):
Crazy boy, I think you're crazy crazy for entertaining her
for one minute.

Speaker 2 (01:16:35):
She's crazy crazy. Stop stop checking those emails. Send it
straight to junk. And if he tries and talks to
you in person, you say, sorry, mother in law, we
got rid of her computer. What does your partner have
to say about that? Yeah, why is this all happen?
I don't know. I think we need to go try
and get this lady into a sanatorium. I'm just kidding.

Speaker 4 (01:16:53):
Maybe, I mean honestly, though, I don't think this feels
like a person who should be working in the medical field.

Speaker 2 (01:16:59):
This is she would be sending all of this to
a freaking yeah, like go to where.

Speaker 4 (01:17:03):
She'sfty of everyone in the hospital. I don't think she
should be a nurse.

Speaker 2 (01:17:07):
That's crazy. Say hey, this is my mother in law.
She's hurting us. This is what she she stole my
medical information. So but see, now that's.

Speaker 4 (01:17:15):
Going to be incredibly hard to navigate because that's your
wife's mother. Yeah, where if you do go down that road,
you are now taking away her income, You're taking away
her security. Like rightfully, so like if you're a you know,
a bystander, but like with the context of the family
is incredibly complicated and it's so not fair that she's
forcing you into this position.

Speaker 2 (01:17:35):
Huh Greed. Update on hippo violation. It's impossible to talk
to mother in law in person because she has a
very selective hearing and also hearing loss for which she
has a hearing aid but refuses to wear it. So
I went with a letter. She refuses to wear her
hearing aid. She's a nurse, she knows better. Mother in

(01:17:57):
law very upset with the letter right now and feel
she was blindsighted and attacked. She says there was no
indication that there was anything wrong despite my multiple attempts
to gingerly talk to her. Apparently, mother in law kept
saying to sister in law, am I a terrible person.
I know I'm not a terrible person, and father in
law stepped in and said, no, you're not. You're not
a terrible person. The same father in law that warned

(01:18:20):
me that marriage is miserable and they'll end up hating
his daughter as much as he hates his wife. What
is this family? What is going on? What? The same
father in law, when I asked for his daughter's hand
in marriage, responded with are you sure this is what
you want? Mother in law initially said she was looking

(01:18:40):
in my charts to find my mom's name to snoop
in her chart.

Speaker 4 (01:18:44):
She said that out loud, Yeah, this woman shouldn't be
a nurse.

Speaker 2 (01:18:49):
Yeah. She now claims that she really thought she gave
me a flu shot in two thousand and eight, which
is bs because I've never seen her at work and
we work over one hundred miles away from each other.
She hasn't shown no, no remorse for her actions in
my chart or in my mom's. I'm thinking I need
to call the privacy department and let them know that
I need my chart corrected and inquire on how it's

(01:19:11):
possible for my now mother in law to have been
in my chart when I first started dating her daughter.
I have no desire to make up with her or
try to work with her because I'm not going to
waste any more time and energy on someone I have
no desire having a relationship with. I don't have to
see her until Thanksgiving, and we don't plan on staying
in their house for the weekend. We decided we're going

(01:19:34):
to book hotel in the area instead. If anyone has advice,
I will happily consider it. Don't hang out with this lady.
And also I have advice for you guys. You should
listen to full episodes of stories just like this. Just
go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search a
Pokes story time hang out with the sound of our voices.
So true, there is a little bit left to this story.

(01:19:56):
But Dakota, what do we do? I'm calling the hospital yesterday.

Speaker 4 (01:20:00):
Yeah, like honestly, but you know again, because as impartial
observers to the story, we can say that really easily,
but in reality, Ope, he's gonna have to have a
hard conversation with his partner because that's her mom and
you're functionally I mean, she did it to herself with

(01:20:25):
her actions, but that's going to end up really destabilizing
her career.

Speaker 2 (01:20:30):
And her life whatever you want to call it.

Speaker 4 (01:20:32):
Right, So she's got to be ready to accept that
her mom deserves these consequences. I mean, yeah, so you
gotta have a conversation about it. I wouldn't do it
behind her back silently secretly. It needs to be like, hey,
I think your your mom's breaking hippo violations for me,
and I'm gonna report.

Speaker 2 (01:20:49):
Her feel violated, Yeah, say like, hey, that was completely
inappropriate and she's admitted to it.

Speaker 4 (01:20:55):
And sure, this is us, but imagine what else she's
capable of, if she's if she can just do this
to anyone, you know, It's like.

Speaker 2 (01:21:02):
That stuff is like the code for a reason. Like
but there is an update or a little bit left
at least ps d W is seeing mother in law
Dear wife sorry, is seeing mother in law for who
she is. Sister in law is torn, agrees that everything
in my letter is true, but she also feels mother
in law is trying to be helpful. That's really misguided.

(01:21:25):
Even after controlling sister in law's bank account, log ons,
hiding tax documents so she can't apply for a mortgage
to buy a house, right, she is so deep in
the fog because mother in law had such a tight
grip on her and buys her everything she needs. And
that is the end of that story. Keeping him on
the teet, tell her life. Tell your wife. You're like, yep,
I don't feel safe around this woman, and she's violated

(01:21:47):
a lot of my privacy. So this is what I'm
gonna be doing.

Speaker 4 (01:21:51):
Yeah, it's just like it's time for it's time for consequences.
And also if she's that scatterbrain, she doesn't know how
to use a computer, she doesn't know how to use technology.
She works in a heavily you know, technology related field,
being in the medical industry, like taking your patient's charts
and medical information. You know, you make like you can
make a mistake there and it can cause incredible damage.

Speaker 2 (01:22:13):
So maybe it's time to retire. You have that conversation.

Speaker 4 (01:22:20):
Call stand do good bye yourself stand by, And it
sounds like your wife is on the same page. That's good,
so that won't be a catastrophic meltdown.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My mother-in-law has been treating holidays like a COMPETITION… I’m done! | Reddit Stories