My mother-in-law made a hurtful comment toward me… now everyone’s turned on her! | Reddit Stories | EP2065 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og
Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories
coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute
break from the sponsors that keep the show alit.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
My mother in law made a discriminatory insult to me.
Now everyone hates her.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
But get her out of there ready.

Speaker 4 (00:18):
I saw your opening of that one. That was really funny.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
My husband and I have been together for four years
and we just got married in October of twenty twenty two.
He's amazing and quite literally the man of my dreams
and I have an amazing life with him now. My
parents and the rest of my family love him. I'm
Native American and have a really big family. He comes
to family events, holidays, cookouts, all that stuff, and I

(00:41):
haven't heard a single member of my family say they
didn't like him. By the way, this comes from user
ok Classroom fifteen forty eight, and if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay
Storytime subreddit. So my husband's family is very small. Other
than his parents, he has one brother, his wife, and
they are two kids. His brother and his family live

(01:02):
multiple states away, so we only see them around. So
we only see them around the holidays, and they don't
really have much extended family. The only members of my
husband's family I really see are his parents. His parents
are the stereotypical white, conservative, small town Christians. My husband
is no longer religious. Mother in law stays at home
and tends to the house while father in law works.

(01:25):
I was worried about his parents' beliefs at first, as
I practice my native tribes spiritual beliefs and very left
leaning socially and politically, don't dress very conventionally, and my
husband and I have no desire to have children. But
they were pretty chill with me when I met them,
at least the first time.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
Uh Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
His dad and I have had no problems, but over
time I have begun having trouble with his mother. She
just flat out doesn't like me. According to my father
in law, she has said, I'm quote not the kind
of woman that needs to be with her son.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
And that's what we call racism on this with the context. Yeah,
but it's like called racism. Not the kind of woman
imagine like once you.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
Know, but it's like I'm thinking of like, oh, it's
like the she's got tattoos and she wears dark eyeliner.
It's like they could say it about that. You know
it's but it's not necessarily racist yet, But given everything
we know about them, it's not. Nope. Her reasoning is

(02:31):
that I don't quote act like a woman. I won't
be a housewife, and I have a man's job. I'm
a flight paramedic for a service that airlifts critically unstable patients. Wow,
that's a sad ass, miso. So really, what it is
is she hates women.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
Ah, well, there we have it.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
Yes, you were close. Now you were close. Did you
just say, well, that's fair, it's fine kidding? Well she
could say that, yeah, that's I can make that joke. Dang,
I'm just gonna hit that one more time because it's
such a cool job. I'm a flight paramedic for a
service that airlifts critically unstable patience. I love my job

(03:11):
and I love being a paramedic. My husband has never
expressed that he wants me to be a housewife or
take up a stereotypically feminine job. If he did, we
wouldn't be together. But apparently that's what his mother thinks
he needs. When I first met his parents, we had
been dating for about five months. Mother in law said
at first that I didn't look like the kind of
woman my husband would bring home. I didn't take it

(03:33):
to heart. I figured she just didn't mean it in
a harsh way. When they asked what I did for work,
I told him I was a flight medic. Father in
law said that was awesome.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
Yes, that is the correct response to that, because it
is awesome.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
It is awesome, but wow. Mother in law just kind
of frowned, didn't say anything whatever. She was pretty cordial
in the beginning, but as my husband and I got
more and more serious, she began to dislike me more.
It started out with a snide comment like she would
manage to sneak into conversations, the fact that she thinks

(04:06):
women should be homemakers or have jobs like teachers or caretakers.
When I started working forty eight hour shifts, she asked,
who's going to take care of the housework. My husband
told her that he would while I was gone those
two days. She got upset and said that it wasn't
fair that I made her son do it all by
himself while I left.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
It's not fair that I have to listen to you.
Mother in law but here we are.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
But you want her to do it all by herself.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
Yeah, because she's a miss.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
I don't understand it.

Speaker 3 (04:34):
She's got internalized.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yeah. Can you break down internalized Misogynyusojohnny, Well, I meant
it in more like a clinical setting, it's such a fun.
But breaking it down in a musical setting, I think
I accept that just as much, though, So let's continue.

Speaker 3 (04:50):
Tony Spiliaco says mother in law is the worst kind
of hypocritical misogynist. If she's so worried about gender norms
and modesty, she'd want people like her daughter in law
to be able to care for women. And Jimmy being
the Turtle says, is mother in law jealous or something?
Because Obie's job is so cool? Avery from the Swamp says,
a paramedic is a caretaker.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
Oh yeah, it just doesn't like why I don't get it.
I can't understand like being a woman and then being
like I can't understand being a woman. Well, I can't
understand being a woman and then being like I hate women,
Like it's just you.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
You grow up in this mindset where everyone's telling you
that a woman is supposed to behave and supposed to
act and that is and if you don't act in
that certain way, then you won't receive attention, or you
won't receive praise, or just like you won't have a
good life.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
I just don't get it. Late she's getting married to
your son, Yeah, she's well, I guess at that point
they're just dating.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
I think there is a certain level of jealousy that
goes into it of seeing a person a woman live
more freely. But also it's just so empathetical to how
she's she's been taught women are supposed to act that like.
She immediately just hates it because it's different.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
Hating things because it's different. Don't do that.

Speaker 3 (06:02):
I don't do that.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
My husband told her that we split household chores evenly
in that it was fine. One day we were over
at their house and she went off on this rant
about how she missed when women act like women and
men acted like that. She started talking about how women
needed to start being housewives and mothers again while the
men worked and provided. While she never directly said it,
I knew she included me in that. Father in law

(06:25):
told her to calm down and that this wasn't the
time for that kind of discussion. For that kind of discussion,
let's go back to the.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Nineteen forties when all of the men were at war
and all the women were working in factories. Like what
time do you mean? Women have always been in jobs?

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Yeah, but only during wartime, only during.

Speaker 3 (06:43):
No, I mean just in different cultures.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
Yeah, I've always been. You know, whatever happened to the
ladies Baseball League?

Speaker 3 (06:50):
They're bringing it back, dude, have you guys seen Tom Hands.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
They're bringing it back.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
A League of their Own is a great movie.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah, and they're bringing it back. Show one of my
favorite supposed bringing about Rosie o'donald's best role. There's no
crying in baseball easily. She got mad and said, wow,
it's just the truth and looked in my direction. I'm
not an idiot. I knew this rant was just a
way for her to tell me how she felt without
directly telling me.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
Yeah, I'm sorry. She did directly tell you.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
She went, it's just the truth, and then just stared
right at you.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
Just actually, it might be better and might get my
point across if I go it's just the truth.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah, that gets Yeah, there you go what you're looking at?
There you go on what you're looking at with them peepers,
What you're looking at with them their peepers.

Speaker 4 (07:35):
Their headlights right there, Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Dinner plates. My husband was pretty angry when we left,
and I can't say I was too pleased. I told
him she was allowed to have her opinion, no matter
how stupid it was, and I wasn't going to lose
sleep over the fact she seemed to still be living
in the nineteen fifties. He said he was angry about
the blatant disrespect. He talked to her about it and

(07:58):
said she wouldn't do it again. So I managed to
let that situation roll off my shoulders. Everything came to
a head with her a few weeks ago. Father in
law invited us over for dinner, so we went. My
cousin's getting married in a few months, and my husband
mentioned that we were going to the wedding. It will
be a traditional wedding in accordance with our tribes customs.

(08:19):
Father in law said that was cool, and mother in
law asked if there was going to be booze. I
didn't really see how that was an issue, so I
said yes. She responded with son, done, You don't need
to be around all that drinking. My husband said it
was fine and that it wouldn't be a problem. She said, no,

(08:41):
you don't need to go there. It's not safe if
there's going to be booze there. I said, why wouldn't
it be safe. It's not like we're going to be
at a bar. It's just going to be my family.
And I see you. Here comes the racism.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
Ah. Oh, it's barreling towards you at at break next
speed right.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
She then said, well, some people can get violent when
they drink.

Speaker 3 (09:10):
And I bet she put a real big emphasis on
the some people.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
And then she pulled one of these some people get.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
Violent when they drink. Some people.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
I don't know who it could be. Oh, could it
be people who look like you?

Speaker 3 (09:25):
Oh, some people who look a certain way. I won't
say who or how.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
I won't say how, but they're all related to your wife.
I knew exactly what some people meant and that this
was a discriminatory remark. I told her that no one
would be getting violent and that everyone would have a
designated driver. My husband then said that we were going
and there wasn't going to be any negotiation about it,
because he was a grown man to make decisions for himself.

(09:53):
That just made her more upset, and she started going
off about how it wasn't a good idea for him
to be around a bunch of wasted boat After father
in law told her to calm down, my husband asked
why it mattered so much to her anyway, because it's
not like we were forcing her to go with us.
She then said, quote, I just don't think it's a
good idea for you to be around a bunch of

(10:14):
wasted Indians.

Speaker 3 (10:16):
And there we have it, and there it was, and
there's the racism there it is blue.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
Racism. Yikes, yikes.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
And if freaking everyone doesn't get up in arms and say,
oh mother, get out, get out of the house, because
that's incredibly incredibly inappropriate, don't ever talk to me. Every guy.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, it's like you realize that. Well, I guess at
this point they're not getting married yet. But it's like,
my girlfriend's Native and you, just like.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
You, you just literally something incredibly racist about her.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
Do you think I'm gonna be like, you know what,
I'm sorry, babe, it's time to break up. You heard
my mom that you heard what my mommy said.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
She said, I can't date you. Yes, he's ready.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
You heard my mommy. What my mommy said?

Speaker 4 (11:02):
Yeah you want to change it? Just change it and
then we can get married. Yeah, just change did it?

Speaker 2 (11:09):
Just change? Simple? So I was in shock. I knew
this was what she meant, but I didn't think she
had the balls to flat out say it. You cannot
be serious, I said. She then proceeded to tell me
I am serious. I know how you people are, and
I don't want my son around it. My husband began
to lose it and started yelling at her. I honestly
didn't have a response to that. I was just dumbfounded,

(11:31):
as was my father in law. My husband told her
he would not stand for her blatant disrespect and hatefulness
any longer and was not going to allow her to
be racist towards me. She then said, I can't believe
you're seriously choosing this red skinned witch over your own mother.
I gave birth to you, oh p says. I told

(11:55):
her to go ef herself and left out the front door,
with my husband following me. She came running out the
door after him, begging him not to leave. He then
told her, no, f you, you cease to exist to
me from this moment on and I never want to
hear from you or see you again. Good folks, that's
the blueprint right there, per That's the only way to

(12:18):
react to that. It's the blueprint to appropriately respond.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
I mean, if a family member saying that in general
awful already already like why would you even want to
be around them, but liked to say that to your partner,
the only response is to be like, well, I never
am going to see you ever again.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
Signing off chief I'll see you never. That's that's how
you got.

Speaker 4 (12:39):
To be instead of with her chest too, by the.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
Way, yeah, with her chest and she's like, I'm.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
Right and double down into like the racist terminology too, I'm.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
Right, yeah. Yeah. He was shaking with anger when he
got in the car and told me he was done
with her and her bs and that we wouldn't ever
be going back over there ever. Since then, she's been
blowing up our phone saying she's sorry and begging to reconcile.
I don't know what to do. My husband is angry
and upset that his mother is like this. Does anyone
have any advice on how to deal with the situation

(13:11):
or a situation like this and there are comments, Yeah, y'all,
just y'all did it. It's done. Now.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
The thing is like, unfortunately, I don't think there's any
way to quote unquote like deal with her beyond going
no contact.

Speaker 2 (13:25):
Yeah, your husband can process his own emotions and like
maybe go to therapy or like you know, find a
resource for that.

Speaker 3 (13:30):
But it's like, you don't inters her teaching her how
to be a good person.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
If you are my wife, if I'm or if OP
is my partner, I OP is my wife, and my
parents or my mom or my whoever pulled something like that,
I'm not I'm no longer interacting with them until they
like I.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
Don't know, like have a huge change of heart in
until they go to the apologize and yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
And like until they get educated to some degree, because
those kinds of positions, they just come from a place
of deeply rooted ignorance and just fear and not understanding
anything outside of your own tiny little bubble.

Speaker 3 (14:13):
Well, we already know she's got this like misogynistic mindset
that comes from shere and not understanding things that are different.
I know we have this other side of her, the
racist side of her that also fears people that are different,
and there's this like huge like especially in you know
more more like small town or religious or conservative areas.

(14:36):
There's this like narrative that's being fed to people that
a lot of Native American tribes are like all these stereotypes.
And then like just like people of color are like
stealing jobs, and it's like all of the stuff that's
being fed to them, and it's like you can't one
for you or your husband cannot like that or take

(15:00):
that away. That is not like the job of one person.
That is for them to have to go on some
sort of journey hopefully that they.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
Yeah, years, but it would take years for my trust
or respect or my tolerance. You can't them to be
to come back. Yeah, it would be a long long process.
Comet one says you did the right thing by leaving,
You think because she's saying she's sorry that she feels
bad about what she said. No, she is just sorry

(15:29):
she got caught in the consequences. No one accidentally says
racist and misogynistic things. People who don't actually believe that
crap don't ever say it unintentionally. It's the racist and
misogynists who can't hold it in for very long who
do that. I'm so sorry for you and your so
that this horrible thing happened to you. You don't need
to be exposed as someone who hates you for no reason.

(15:51):
Your s O will likely struggle with this, but he
did the right thing too. If you decide to listen
to her apology, that doesn't mean you have to accept it.
Let her know that you will never forget it, and
any future children will not be subjected to it. She
has lost any privilege to you and them and will
have to earn your grace to see them, although I
recommend not seeing her ever again if possible. She won't

(16:13):
really change, and why should you subject yourself to that pain.
Best of luck to you, and there is an update. Yeah, yeah,
I mean like straight up systemic one eighty personality flip
is what she would need. Yeah, for me to be like,
all right, you can be you can come around again.

Speaker 3 (16:29):
But it's so hard for people like my y. It's
so hard for people to get over that hatred.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, no it is. Yeah, I would like straight up
I would run it like I'm not even being I'm
not even kidding. I'd run it like a college course.
I'd run it like a test I'd be like, all right,
this is our yearly check it. Write me an essay
on exactly how wrong you were that day.

Speaker 3 (16:50):
And why you were wrong, why and how it makes
you feel and systems of impression. Yes, and why you
feared losing your system of power and your place in
the cast system of the you.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
Know, five thousand words. Get back to me. Yeah, and
then I'll I'll grade it, and we'll see where we're at.

Speaker 3 (17:09):
You know, we'll see if you can come back around.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
Okay, there's an update here. Let's go ahead and read it.
The reason I didn't have much of an adverse reaction
to her words is because, sadly, these are all things
that I've heard my whole life. I'm not white passing,
and you take one look at me and tell I'm
a native. I think what my mother in law said
shocked so many people, because many think explicit racism like
that is the thing of the past, but it is

(17:31):
still very much alive in the minds of some. Yeah,
after the incident took place, my husband and I went
home and mother in law tried to call and text
both of us to beg for forgiveness and told us
she's sorry and wants to make up.

Speaker 3 (17:43):
No, she's not. Yes, sorry, sorry you have come to
see those words and throw around racist marks and slurs.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah, well you're sorry. Yeah, she's like, you don't need
to be drinking around those people. I know exactly what
those goin to bear.

Speaker 3 (17:59):
Yeah, no it's not it's not an accident.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
I blocked her and my husband told her to leave
him alone until he and I worked through this. My
husband also told his brother about this, and he was
horrified as well. My father in law contacted us and
said he was sorry for what had happened. He said
he didn't know she had thoughts like this, and in
the moment he was so shocked with what she said

(18:22):
that he didn't know what to say or do. He
asked if it would be possible for my husband and
I to speak with just him to see what he
could do going forward, and we agreed.

Speaker 3 (18:33):
I think that's fair. It seems like he has it
seems like he can you imagine and then like, you know,
against this, do.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
You imagine what? Like he he had no idea. Yeah,
it's like imagine he says this stuff and you're just
like all right, maybe just like cool it. It's fine
if there's alcohol there whatever, And she said, it's those
people and you're just like you look like you do
like Jim Halpert look at the camera.

Speaker 3 (18:59):
But the thing is, I always wonder if those people actually,
you know, like how much you actually didn't know about
your partner, especially after all of those years. I'm wondering,
like I think that perhaps he could have been aware
of of some measure of like racism in her or
you know, or stereotyping that she was.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
All those boxes that they check of like conservative, white Christian,
like rural, like it's like they live in such a microcosm.
They're not none of their boundaries or or like whatever.
Their worldview is never tested.

Speaker 3 (19:35):
Well, that's what I was gonna say. I was like,
maybe just a place like he wasn't or she wasn't
around any like other non white people or like non
traditional people. So it just never came up in that way,
like she was still spouting maybe some of those ideas
kind of on a on a less aggressive and in

(19:55):
your face out of way.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
But yeah, you'd think you would, you think you'd know.
We ended up having a video call between me, my husband,
father in law, and my husband's brother who will be
henceforth known as brother in law. Brother in law said
that there wasn't much he could do because he is
several states away, but he would be supporting us in
whatever decision we made, and that he would be sending

(20:17):
a strongly worded message to mother in law. Father in
law was very emotional about the situation and said he
didn't want to lose his son over what mother in
law said and that he would do anything to keep
contact with my husband. He was so upset and confused
as to why she thought the way that she did
and why it was all coming out now. I said
that she may have always felt this way, but because

(20:39):
they live and lived in pretty white communities, I was
the first person she knew to take it out on.
Everyone agreed to that.

Speaker 3 (20:47):
We exactly, Yeah, that was exactly said.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
High five, A high five, camp and high five.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
Can you have a specific camera that just goes yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:56):
We need we need to set that up. Father in
law said he wanted to suggest her to go to
therapy or some sort of counseling to work out these
feelings within herself, and that he planned to tell her
that she had a choice either seek help to change
her narrow view of the world or lose both her
son and him. He said that I make my husband happy,

(21:17):
and as his father, there's nothing more he could ever want.
W Dad Yeah, w dad like huge ell? Mother yeah crazy.
We all agreed that some counseling would definitely be beneficial to
her if she was willing to go. My husband said
he doesn't want to talk to mother in law right now,
and that he didn't know when or if he would

(21:39):
be able to. He said that if he had anything
to say to her, or if there was an emergency,
he would go through father in law to get to her.
In the meantime, he will be blocking her number. I said,
I just didn't want any contact at all, and we
all left it at that. I also told my parents
and some elders in my community, and they were upset
too because this is stuff they have heard as well.
But they commended my husband for having my back and

(22:00):
said they understood my decision to go no contact. And
that's the situation right now. I want to thank everyone
that left kind words and advice on the original post.
I made it to see if we had maybe done
something wrong or if the decision to go no contact
was a bad one, but I now see that this
is probably the best option. While this situation and what
was said upsets me, the kind words on my first

(22:22):
post reminds me that there is still good in this world,
and if anyone else is going through a similar situation,
I'll tell you what my dad told me. You can
never force people to be kind to you, but you
can make the choice to surround yourself with kind people.
Thank you all, and we have some comments here. Comment
number one, what age is mother in law? I'm just
wondering if it came so out of left field for

(22:44):
father in law, if it might be that she's in
early stages of one of those forms of dementia where
you lose your filter. Not that she didn't maybe always
secretly hold those views, but I'm wondering if she's now
got less of a social filter about expressing them, even
if she's not that able. I know someone fifty four
with a recent diagnosis of early dementia, and maybe that's

(23:06):
why it's on my mind. Besides counseling, maybe have her
checked out with a medical doctor two And I think again,
that's really only something she'll have to consent to. With
the therapy and the counseling, and any medical stuff.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
And sometimes yes, we want to, you know, we want
to make up excuses and find out anyway for a
loved one or like a previously loved one to make
sense for something that they've done to wrong us. And
sometimes it's just like they're could be they're just they
just aren't a good person.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
And you know, like it said, it's like even if
that's still like the rot is still in there. Yeah,
Like even if it's like, oh, well now she just
doesn't have the filter for it, it's like, well she
still still believed that. Yeah, so that's still an issue. Anyway.
We have a second update. Hi again, it's been a
couple months since I last posted about my situation in
which my mother in law called me a slur and

(23:56):
said my family was a bunch of wasted Indians. I
figured I conclude the story since this mess is finally
coming to an end. Long story short, father in law
is divorcing. Mother in law makes sense. Good on the
father in law makes sense consequences of a knock knock knock.
It's the consequences of her action. Mother's mindset's like why

(24:18):
did the ruin up?

Speaker 3 (24:21):
Okay? Yeah, and then she's gonna blame it on op.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
He's you've all been drinking with those Indians, haven't you.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
I know it.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
It was the Indians. They conspired against me and ruined
my marriage. That's what she'll say. Mother in law went
to counseling twice a week for about three weeks until
she eventually decided that she had enough of it. I
guess she thought that was enough to make my father
in law and husband happy, but she showed no real
remorse for her actions or any change in her mindset.
Father in law told us that they had gotten into

(24:52):
an argument about how I was taking their son away
from them. Whoa to which father in law.

Speaker 3 (24:57):
Freaking predicted it?

Speaker 2 (24:59):
Yeah, yeah, pretty much pretty much.

Speaker 3 (25:02):
Uh no, no, Stradama's I know.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
No, I know. I was trying to figure out how
to make a pun out of it with your name.
No Stra, Oh it's no Stradono miss there we go.
Sorry it took me a second.

Speaker 3 (25:17):
No Stra never miss.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
Dang you just missed with that one.

Speaker 3 (25:22):
That was great.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
Oh wait, oh were you doing saying that to me?
Oh dang? See sorry, I was I was like you
never missed? Sorry. I was in slam dunk mode for
some reason. I was because it was because it was
because I gassed you up.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
I was fixing.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
I gave you the gas up with immediately, and then
I was like, my brain was preset for okay, slam
dunk mode. I gotta bring her back down. Okay, ba
my compliment. That's fine, that's fine. I did miss I
missed right there. Anyways, I'm sure that was fun to
listen to to which father in law said that she
had drove my husband away from them, not me. I

(25:57):
was like, pasta, oh, wait a minute, Okay, it's sorry.
I did not compute that for a second. So that's
the father in law being like, no, wife, you're the
reason they're gone.

Speaker 3 (26:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
Mother in law was very angry that father in law
continued to take our side on the situation instead of hers.
This erupted into a very heated argument between the two
of them, and father in law didn't go into extensive detail.
She ended up staying. She ended up saying more bad
things about me, about how I tore her family apart,
made a mockery of her, stole her son, and pushed
her husband and other son away from her. In reality,

(26:33):
if she just would have kept her mouth shut, this
all could have been avoided. Sure, my husband is peist, naturally,
I can't say I feel much emotion about it, though.
I feel bad for my husband and his family as
they are losing contact with their mother and wife. But
then again, I also see a bitter old racist getting

(26:54):
what she deserves. It's a crappy situation overall. Father in
law said, Mother in law was so angry she left
the house and is staying with a friend for the
time being while lawyers sort things out. Father in law
is still very upset, which I understand. He told me
he felt terrible about the whole thing, but he didn't
want to remain married to an evil woman and someone

(27:14):
who would drive his children away. He told me that
he understands he's not a perfect man and has made
mistakes and not always been the most accepting or open minded,
but he wants to become a better person and try
to understand people of other cultures and identities. I greatly
respect that. There you go, He's like, I acknowledge my
worldview is narrow less, widen.

Speaker 3 (27:37):
It, and that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed
to add like, the real process is understanding that you
have certain biases and certain like uh honestly, probably racist
ideology in you if you're growing up, especially in a
conservative area or like a predominantly white area, and it's like, okay,
I actually need to work on those and educate myself.

(27:58):
You know, that's what you should do.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
In an attempt to lift his spirits, I offered to
take him to a pow wow a couple weeks ago,
and he accepted. My husband has gone with me several times,
but this would be father in law's first experience with
anything like that. I introduced him to my family and
he was very respectful. He had a blast, danced saying,
listen to the music and ate until our stomachs were

(28:20):
about to burst. He thanked my family and I for
letting him be a part of this and that he
hadn't had this much fun since he was a young man.
I haven't had this much fun since I was just
a sprout.

Speaker 3 (28:34):
That's so cute.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
My family and I thanked him for being a good
person and sticking beside my husband and I through such
a messy situation. My father tried to console him by
saying that sometimes the best way to grow is to
cut ties with toxic people. Who will hold you back?
Bromance honestly, bromance between father and father in law.

Speaker 3 (28:54):
Love it.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Yes, let's stay at the bromance. Honestly. I think this
is the best this could have gone. And I'm so
happy my husband didn't have to cut ties with both
of his parents because he's always been so close to
his father. I can see that my father in law
is trying to be a good person and become a
more accepting and supportive guy, and I'm very happy about that.

(29:15):
And by the way, you can be very happy about
the full episodes with stories like this that we have
on Spotify and iHeartRadio and Apple podcasts and wherever you
listen to podcasts. All you have to do is search
Okay story time right here, It's on my hat, and
if you search our name, you will find what is

(29:37):
now fifty two days, twelve hundred and forty eight hours
worth of stories to listen to. Go do that after this.

Speaker 3 (29:47):
Right now, No, right now, We're still no, right now,
right right now.

Speaker 2 (29:50):
But soon we do have a little bit more story.
Let's go ahead and finish it off. I'd like to
again say thank you to those of you who left
such positive comments on my previous posts. It really means
a lot to me and makes me happy to know
that there are people with good hearts out there. I've
seen that another subreddit saw my post and many people

(30:12):
said nice things there too. And to any Natives who
have dealt with or are dealing with discriminatory comments, discrimination
or being called racial slurs, never stop existing because our
existence is the biggest form of rebellion. We're still here
and we're not going anywhere. Thanks to all your kind
Internet stranger comments. Peace and love always, and we do

(30:34):
have some comments here. Keep taking your father in law
to pow wows. He may meet himself a nice Native woman.
That's a good idea right there. And that is the
end of that story. Man, it worked out, it did.
I mean, obviously the mother sucks. Yeah, that's a terrible person, but.

Speaker 3 (30:52):
He's cool.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
Worked out for the best, for the best involved.

Speaker 3 (30:55):
But that's the end of that story. So we're going
to jump into the next one.

Speaker 2 (30:59):
Hey y'all, it's John oh Host here. We're gonna get
back to the stories. But here's a quick three minute
break from as for more sponsors.

Speaker 3 (31:04):
I tried to set boundaries with my mother in law,
but somehow I'm the bad guy.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
Yeah, I'm gonna just hit you with the Uno Rivers card.

Speaker 3 (31:12):
This mother in law is my husband's bio mom. He
also has an honorary mom. Currently thirty five weeks pregnant
with my first I was folding and organizing baby clothes
and I found what looked like a game piece in
the baby's dresser. I asked my husband and he didn't
know why it was there, but said that it's amajong tile,
a game piece the size of a thick domino. I

(31:32):
sent a text to our group family chat his side
and asked if anybody knew why it was there. Some
of them just responded lool and he he. And I
asked them what it was and why I was there,
and everyone just ignored my texts. By the way, this
comes from Wild Musings eighty eight, and if you want
to sumit your own stories, go to our slash shoking
story him separate it. So an hour later I got

(31:54):
annoyed and said, no one's gonna tell me what it is.
Then they explained that mother in law hides things in
people's houses as a game or a prank. I messaged
her privately and said, just please don't leave small things
around once the baby is here. It makes me nervous
finding small things that could be choking hazards in the babies,
things that I didn't know about, especially if I don't
find it.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
Yeah, I mean that's that's a very exceptionally reasonable and
responsible thought to have.

Speaker 3 (32:22):
That is.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
Yeah, you're like, please don't leave things for my baby
to choke on. I would like that, well, this is
pre baby, right.

Speaker 3 (32:29):
Like just like like making sure like or don't leave
things in the baby in place when the baby's here.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
But no more of this, please, thank you. But else. Yeah,
seemed perfectly fine to me.

Speaker 3 (32:39):
I feel like this is not really a cute, like
this shouldn't devolve into anything big.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Let's see how the mother in law takes it.

Speaker 3 (32:49):
She apologized and I said, thank you, it's okay. I
feel really picky about the nursery and I'm always anxious
about safety things, which is true. My husband told me
today that she's upset and thinks I shamed her and
the group chat. I didn't know she was the one
that left it. When I was messaging the group chat,
I knew I sounded annoyed when I asked if anyone
was going to answer my question, But I genuinely didn't
know why anyone would leave a small game piece, which

(33:11):
I'm thinking would be a choking hazard, in the nursery
that I've meticulously been painting and putting together. It felt
weird that someone was in my baby's dresser drawers without
me knowing and wouldn't tell me why. Weird boundary issue.
I recognized that I had a strong reaction, but I
do think it's really inappropriate to hide small game pieces
in babies, things that I may never find. You shouldn't

(33:34):
even be in the nursery without me knowing. That's just weird,
and I'd be very anxious if I didn't ask her
to not if I didn't ask her not to do
it again because brother in law said this is a
thing she does often. Why did it have to be
in the nursery. Why couldn't it be any other part
of the house.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
Sorry, just the way you just said that, I feel
like you were It really does feel like, OHP's almost
crying here. Why Why did it have to be in
the nursery. Why couldn't you some farther part of the house.
Everyone thinks I'm shaming her, and I'm not I'm just
worried about my baby who's not.

Speaker 3 (34:07):
Yet, but also don't come to the nursery without mine,
and it's just like she's kind of losing it over
this I feel in the nursery.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
But it's also all that's kind of fair.

Speaker 3 (34:16):
I think it's fair, but it does feel like perhaps
like I think it's absolutely fair and absolutely like she
should talk to the mother in law, but it does
feel like maybe maybe a lot of the hormones and
a lot of the nesting and stuff is like, don't
right nursery.

Speaker 2 (34:28):
And it's probably like the thing of like you're putting
my baby at rest, but it's like no, no, no
one's no one's doing that yet. Yeah, no one has
done that.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
Mother in law wasn't close to her own daughter through
pregnancies and is expressed wanting to be a mom to
me during mine, which I one hundred percent do not want.
So I think she's feeling rejected and annoyed by me
setting boundaries. My whole life, I've been a people pleaser
and intended not to say when I'm upset. That has
all changed with being pregnant. It's weird to see how

(34:57):
many people hate hearing that you're not happy with something
they did, but I'm not okay with not addressing something
that makes me nervous. That's the whole story. Mother in
law went into my baby's dresser drawers too. As she
puts it, I had small things at each other's house.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
It's for fun, okay, Like I again, I do get it,
But I'm going to say that the POV I'm getting
here from op is someone who's never had fun ever
or done any little quirky thing. Like it's like it's
like a haha, and it's like, you know, of course
you open the drawer to put the stuff in there,
you probably see it. It's right there, and you go, oh,
I found the game piece.

Speaker 3 (35:31):
It does feel like a little bit of an overreaction. However,
I very understandably like this is not something that should
be done, but perhaps maybe the interaction after and communicating
how it's you know, like how why you're upset and
why it shouldn't happen anymore.

Speaker 2 (35:48):
It maybe was over It's like you did it in
the nursery. But it's like the probable cause, like I
can think of a thing that I do in like
my own family or like family friends as it's like
we do puzzles and then like the goal is to
always like try to sneak off one puzzle piece to
somewhere else so that they can't finish the puzzle until

(36:08):
until you behavior sorry, and then you steal the puzzle
from them because you put the last piece in. You
go aha, and it's like and it's all just a joke.

Speaker 4 (36:17):
But it's like, I would go insane if this feels
no wonder you are the way that you are.

Speaker 3 (36:24):
Before we get into the update, I would say that, like,
it feels somewhat because the baby's not here yet, right,
it feels like somewhat harmless, not in that it should
it should continue happening, but in that it could have
just been a really simple conversation of saying, hey, don't
do that, please, like don't in the future, you know,

(36:45):
I want to make sure the babies okay, and that
would have been it. Yeah, I think it should have
been addressed, but it could have been addressed in a
little bit less of a massive way.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
Yeah exactly. Yeah, it could have just been like a
it's it's you know, it's a mixture of all the stuff,
babies on the way, someone's in my knowledge. It's like
it feels like a breach of trust. It feels like
an invasion of privacy, and it's like, dude, for them,
it's like just a cute little you know, it's just
a little game that's being played like amongst family and
for all the people saying I'm a psycho. Guys, it's
not just me. Okay, it'd be like five pieces are missing, yeah,

(37:15):
and then you have to all find the pieces that
have been hidden around so that you can try to
put in the last puzzle.

Speaker 4 (37:20):
I don't think yourself fun. Could you imagine doing this
with like a stranger and not letting them know.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
You don't do it with a stranger. You've psycho pes, guys.
The story it's a known thing. It's like a family thing.
It's like you wouldn't do this. You wouldn't break into
a stranger's house and ride a little toy in their nursery. Yeah,
this is someone they know, someone, is my point.

Speaker 3 (37:43):
I think I'm and it seems like we're a little
bit mixed in the chat. I think I'm kind of
on Supernova's thing of like, right, it's fine this time,
but don't do it again. I think that's kind of
my thoughts here like absolutely should be addressed, but doesn't
necessarily need I don't like it seems like we're about
to gear into if I it doesn't like that's silly
to me. Yeah, it almost shouldn't have been a fight

(38:04):
on either.

Speaker 2 (38:05):
I'm debating nowhere low contact and it's like, yeah, this
is not the time at all.

Speaker 3 (38:09):
Yeah, Like this seems like again absolutely fair for her
to say something and say don't do that again, but
like could have potentially been fun about it in a
different way. But there's an update. When my son was
six weeks old, my mother in law tripped and threw
him on the ground. It was traumatic. I'm still not
over it. I still feel afraid every time she asks

(38:29):
to visit. Yesterday I let her hold my son she
has many times since the incident, and she was being
very rough with him. He was playing so rough that
his head snapped the side. How is she playing with waits.

Speaker 2 (38:41):
Like a newborn? Why are you? First of all, you
don't play the new born?

Speaker 3 (38:46):
No no, no no. Sam was six weeks old, but
she's having a new baby right sick weeet? What is
this the did the baby already come out?

Speaker 2 (38:53):
Yeah? Let's give me. Can we hit that one more time?

Speaker 3 (38:54):
Please, says yesterday when my son was six weeks old.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
Okay, my mother, fancy has happened? This happened?

Speaker 3 (39:00):
Or is this ann was six weeks I think this
is a son that she already has.

Speaker 2 (39:04):
Do they already have one? I thought this is their
first kid?

Speaker 3 (39:07):
Hold on, hold on everyone.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
Yeah, I'm almost positive that was her first kid, because
it's like, that's.

Speaker 3 (39:12):
Rely with my first Okay, yeah, so this is this
is in the future we have now son is six
weeks old? Got it?

Speaker 2 (39:17):
Son has been born and is now six weeks old.

Speaker 3 (39:19):
Yeah, he's only four months old, and she didn't seem
to notice and see now yeah, no, this is this.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
Is How long is the head support window? I don't know,
but it's like, but.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
I I mean, even with a four month old, you've gotta.

Speaker 2 (39:32):
Be a little bit.

Speaker 3 (39:32):
You gotta be careful.

Speaker 2 (39:33):
Yeah, I mean they're delicate, but they're also I don't know,
there's like a weird like bell curve. Yeah, of like
they're act like the they're so sturdy like but also not.

Speaker 3 (39:44):
But I'm also wondering a little I'm gonna hear what
you saying? What I really want is for her to
never hold him again. But I don't want to hurt
my son's relationship with her because she's genuinely loving, just
clumsy and not suitable to take care for him take
care of him alone. Does that make sense? Like she's
a good grandma but needs to be supervised. So this
morning I sent her a long text. I wanted it

(40:06):
to portray how serious I am, but also let her
know I am trying my best to trust her again.
Give it to me straight. What do you think of
this message? She hasn't responded and has a history of
being petty and triangulating people, getting third parties involved, gossiping,
et cetera, So I don't know how she's going to respond.

Speaker 2 (40:23):
So pause before we get into it. Yes, my my
guest would also thank you comments for letting me know
that the babies are still delicate at I'm not I'm
not up on and I don't support shaken babies. Okay,
that was just a description. First of all, if she
dropped the baby at six weeks, then I'm not letting
her hold a kid again until the kid is sturdy

(40:45):
enough to not be damaged.

Speaker 3 (40:47):
Like that, I would say, I actually like how would
you say this my thing? I think absolutely she needs
supervision to be stuff everything that we've heard here. I
think if it had been a one time or she
dropped the baby and was like, oh, like people trip,
people have accidents. The baby's okay, it seems but it
seems like, oh, he is telling us that this woman

(41:08):
is just generally pretty clumsy. And I think in that way,
i'd be like, I don't want you to hold my
baby because you are generally clumsy and have already dropped
the baby and also have like been playing rough with
a baby.

Speaker 2 (41:19):
I think it's just a thing. It's not it's nothing personal.
It's just like you know, like they don't let if
you have dyslexia, they don't let you be in charge
of like the the the launch codes for the They
don't know. They literally don't. They don't if no, if
you have dyslexia, you cannot be like in charge of
like reading out like yeah.

Speaker 3 (41:39):
Is there like a thing there. It's like, if you
have dyslexia, you can't.

Speaker 2 (41:43):
Well, there's all kinds of different He's gonna have a
rough anyway. People.

Speaker 3 (41:47):
No, I'm just saying it's like the context the military
says that you can never be in charge of her. No,
like if you have a herniated disc, you can't join
the military. It's like if you have physical or all
of there are like things that will make it so
that you can't do this.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
You can't do that. You can do this inside.

Speaker 3 (42:05):
I stand your right.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
That's my only point where it's like you can't hold
the kid, but hey, you can play with him when
he's in his crib. You can do this. That's my point.
That's the point I was trying to hear across.

Speaker 3 (42:13):
And here I think this is when you get your
partner involved and say, hey, like I love your mom enough.

Speaker 2 (42:19):
Right exactly, you can't be a pilot if you're colored blind.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
By the way, there we go, I can't be an
astronaut because I need glasses.

Speaker 2 (42:27):
Shoot. Okay, but my takeaway here, before we read what
she sent, just be chill. If you send more than
like a paragraph, you've gone way too far. You just
need to be like two or three sentences and done.

Speaker 3 (42:43):
I'm gonna I'm gonna be around I'm gonna need to
like watch you around the baby, or or you could
even say like we're just like making sure we're not
letting anyone be alone with the baby. You don't even
have to put it on her, but there is here
is what op sent I'm sending this message to you
in a chat just between us because I want to.
I want you to know how I've been feeling. One sentence,

(43:03):
not to make you feel bad, but so you know
where I'm coming from.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
Two sentence.

Speaker 3 (43:07):
Since you drop baby, I've been struggling with PTSD. I
panic when other people hold them.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
Three sentence.

Speaker 3 (43:12):
Loud noises make me very afraid. He is hurt.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
Oo if you're going to this is too much. Now
she's gonna start feeling defensive. It is just like I
gave you PTSD and you can't trust anyone around your
baby because of me. Now she's upset, she's defensive immediately.

Speaker 3 (43:24):
This is a bad one. It has impacted my mental
health and caused me to lose countless hours of sleep.
Fortunately he was okay, but I've had a horrible anxiety
ever since. It will get better with time with time,
but has been a struggle. I'm sure you can understand this,
as you had three babies of your own. I know
it was an accident, and I'm not angry at you.
I am trying very hard to make sure you get

(43:45):
to spend time with him and that he develops a
relationship with you. But I need you to be careful
and conservative conservative when holding him. I'm not comfortable with
the clipty clopin with the clippity clop game you were
playing with him. He is only at control of his
head for a few weeks, and at one point the
sideways bounce was so hard as ear nearly hit the
top of his shoulder. That's too rough for my comfort. Please,

(44:06):
if you are holding him, keep him in your lap,
be gentle and no rough play. You can read books, sing,
look in the mirror, play with toys, or play on
his play mat. No lifting them up your head, jostling
or bouncing that affects his head control. No walking around
with them. I want you to be able to spend
time with him, but I need to know he's safe.
I also need to take care of my mental health
so I can give him my full attention. You're out

(44:28):
following these things will help me do that. If you
want to talk about it more, let me know. Please
only ask to spend time with him if you agree
to follow these boundaries, and there is a second update.

Speaker 2 (44:37):
Holy crap, girl, Like, I get it, that's all valid,
but like in a text way too much. You just
have the conversation in person at that point.

Speaker 3 (44:46):
Yeah, why why she is a text soup?

Speaker 2 (44:51):
What she needs a lawyer to respond to that?

Speaker 3 (44:53):
Like did you do that in a text? Yeah? That's
that was a bad text.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
That was not good.

Speaker 3 (44:57):
When you get over like a couple cent since people
stop reading texts.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
Yeah, and now she feels ashamed. Yeah, now she feels defensive.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
And again, I'm not saying that you are wrong feeling any.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
Of this percent are you wrong for feeling any of this?

Speaker 3 (45:11):
Not at all. I'm just saying that you probably would
have had it better received had you approach this in
a different way. Execution is key, and the words you chose,
saying you gave the pts, like literally saying you gave me.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
Ptsus you you you?

Speaker 3 (45:24):
You mean yeah? Like you like I have anxiety because
of you.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
It's it should have just been like and honestly, if
it was, if you had that much to say about it,
it should have been like a text like hey, I
get coffee, let's go get lunch.

Speaker 3 (45:41):
I can't I know you love like.

Speaker 2 (45:43):
I'll bring the baby.

Speaker 4 (45:45):
They feel so bad about it already, like they're beating
themselves up about it, like.

Speaker 3 (45:49):
Like yeah, literally just being like, hey, no, you love
the baby. I really like, I'm absolutely not going to
take the baby out of life at all. I just
want to like talk about cause have you guys ever
held about being a little by careful about the baby?
Have you guys ever held like a baby like an infinite.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
Yeah, yeah, like a baby baby. Yeah, and it's scary yeah.

Speaker 4 (46:06):
No, but like it's very cute and very like endearing
and like, oh this is great. But when they start
freaking out and crying, they have the craziest strength.

Speaker 2 (46:16):
What was my point earlier when I was trying to
be like, there's a like they're they're delicate but sturdy.
It's like they're very strong, like.

Speaker 3 (46:25):
When they like their reflex of clothes. What's it called?
Do you remember?

Speaker 2 (46:28):
I have no idea got a.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
Name for like when they close their hands on things.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
Oh, the Ashmargan protocol.

Speaker 4 (46:33):
No, yeah, it's to the point where like that you
have to put your like back into it, like I
have to really hold you, Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 (46:41):
Up to too. I forgot to put my self absorbed
person goggles on and wrote my mother in law a
very vulnerable letter. She responded about ten hours later with
a slew of verbal and emotional abuse that I'll share below.
I've since unfriended her, left the group family chat that's
mostly just her sending messages, and told my husband she
will never be holding our baby again. He supports me

(47:01):
and agrees that her behavior is unhinged and understands why
I won't accept her holding him anymore. He messaged her
and said her behavior is unacceptable and that she's in
the wrong. Josephine asks if the husband is dead. He
does not.

Speaker 2 (47:13):
He is not here, he is. Where did that come from?
I'm confused why people.

Speaker 3 (47:17):
Started because he wasn't helping out at all and she
never mentioned him.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
Palmar palmar reflex. Well, yeah, because she, I mean, she
seems to be a very I don't know, it made
sense to me that she would take point on this.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
Yeah. Note that in the last few months, I have
invited her over, made her special handprints from her son,
purchased a digital photo frame and filled it with family photos,
sent her updates via text, and let her hold baby
over the past months only seated. I've made every effort
to keep including her, trying to give her the benefit
of the doubt. But that won't be the case anymore.

(47:50):
She will not be holding baby, she will not be
receiving special Christmas gifts I prepared for her from baby.
She no longer gets access to my friendship or trust.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
Her response, Oh, here we go.

Speaker 3 (48:02):
I understand your first time mom, but your fears and
paranoia are over the top. I will not accept your
opinion that I am a harmful grandma. You have made
it clear to me that you do not want me
to be a grandma to baby because I am too
awful and to have it out to hurt baby and
I am too unsafe. I don't agree at all, and
I'm not taking your fears on that I did something
wrong with baby yesterday. I was very gentle with him.

(48:22):
You were sitting right there and so those husband. So
if you really thought I was dangerous, you would have
stopped me immediately. Who allows a grandparent to abuse a
child and says nothing? Again, I know I was gentle
and didn't hurt him. However, I'm not going to play
this game where you keep taking my ability to see
baby and be a grandma and then take it away.
I don't deserve it. I am incredibly sad for her
husband and baby. They shouldn't have to pay for your

(48:43):
insurcuit insecurities too. Most parents want as much love for
their child as possible, but you appear to want to
isolate both baby and husband from family. And now I
will keep this between us. Your insecurities and how you
are treating me when it comes to baby need to
come to light.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
And this is what I bo saw in my vision.

Speaker 3 (49:04):
Call me. That's so raveing because I saw that coming.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
H and now it's just like uugh. It went from
like a bit like uh, this.

Speaker 3 (49:12):
Is motile, to like, might be cutting off this grandma. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
Ever, from a mildly uncomfortable confrontation to like, great, now
we're like launching emotional warheads at each other.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
After struggling with a self absorbed person, my mother, myself,
I'm finding myself very hurt and surprised I didn't protect
myself better. I truly didn't think my mother in law
was this bad of a person. My husband understands where
I'm coming from and has taken the baby off the
evening so I can decompress. I'm just sad because I
genuinely wanted to be able to trust her. That's not

(49:46):
even within the realm of possibility. If you want a
little out of humor, she lives in a house my
husband owns and pays a subsidized by him rent. Imagine
saying these things to the wife of someone who owns
your subsidized house. Imagine feeling so free to verbally abuse someone,
let alone the wife of your house, of your son
who houses you. I think she's officially a self absorbed person.

(50:10):
An edit update to say I'm currently eating the box
of fancy chocolate I had rapped for her for Christmas.
Call me petty. Edit again. I decided to text her back,
Probably a bad move.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
Like, guys, why are we texting? This is like phone
call territory. This is like meet in person with a
start moderator.

Speaker 3 (50:30):
Started with a phone call with the husband there If.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
You were going to send five paragraphs like you need
that needed to be a conversation or a phone call,
anything besides a text message.

Speaker 3 (50:40):
You realize that I'm the one who responds to your
request to come visit. I'm the one who says, hey, husband,
we should invite your family over for family night this week.
I'm the one who makes and sends Christmas cards sent
yesterday and remembers Birthday cards. I'm the one who sends
you the text updates and photos. I'm the one who
organized a bunch of sweet Christmas presents from baby to you,
all already wrapped on her mantle, the frames you wanted,

(51:02):
and a digital frame already loaded with a bunch of
new photos of him and a ceramic ornament of his
handprint when he was tiny. I do these things because
I love doing them, and because husband is happy to
have me do them for our family. F B, though,
I guess I guess you see all of that as
me not wanting you to be a grandma. Most people
don't do any of these things to make grandma feel included.

(51:24):
You're too offended by me asking you to help help
keep him safe that you'll verbally attack me. You'll willingly
continue adding stress to my postpartum period. Thanks for being honest.
Though I won't put the effort in anymore. I'll keep
the gifts for myself too. Please share this conversation with
whoever you like. Happy to share my thoughts with others,
but do not message me anymore. You can talk to
husband from now on?

Speaker 2 (51:45):
Why are you making it worse?

Speaker 3 (51:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (51:48):
Why are we? Do we wake up and we're like,
we're gonna make everything worse today. Yeah, it's just it
would be better off saying absolutely nothing.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
Yeah, like not responding to that text.

Speaker 2 (51:59):
She's still gonna be the grandmother of your child, she's
still the mother of your husband, she's still your mother
in law. And now you've you've further catalyzed the situation
into something that's unstable.

Speaker 3 (52:14):
And now like you're you're poking again, poking the mare.

Speaker 2 (52:17):
Why are we doing that? Like?

Speaker 3 (52:18):
Why why she's already said her piece. You realized, you
know what, we don't really want her in her life.
She's making a lot of fuss about things.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
And like, honestly, though, to be fair, the way she
responded to that first text kind of rational if you
read it from her perspective, and it's like the first
thing she sees is you gave me PTSD when you
accidentally drop my kid. And now she's in pure defense.

Speaker 3 (52:40):
Mode, which obviously you know she's not listening to you,
but like, I think there's just like she is in
the wrong. She is the a hole for how she's
been treating you for how she's been treating your baby
and not taking care of your baby and not putting
your mind at ease as a new mother. Absolutely she's
in the wrong, but like it feels like you never
wanted to even try and make this work, you.

Speaker 4 (53:01):
Know, Yeah, op is the a whole. Mother in law's
a whole.

Speaker 3 (53:07):
Like maybe a little bit of everyone sucks here, Like
absolutely the mother in law is, like I don't want
anyone to get it twisted, Like mother in law is
the a.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
Whole for how she's right. Because when a mother tells you, hey,
you need to like handle my kid a certain way
or more gently or like this, you don't go yeah.
Actually they just go, oh, okay, I'm sorry if I
made you uncomfortable. I will make sure to do that
moving forward. Boom, problem solve situation.

Speaker 3 (53:31):
If we are trying to problem solve as just you know,
there are better ways to go around conversations. I don't
I don't know if I like necessarily think that Opie
is a whole. I just think that like none of
none of these conversations were had in an effective way
to actually have someone like listen to you and yeah and.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
Not that like you needed your husband's permission to send
any of those messagers or anything, but like, did you
game plan or workshop with your husband at all during
any of this?

Speaker 3 (53:57):
Like where is he?

Speaker 2 (53:58):
I feel like this might be a situation where she's like,
now I'm gonna handle it.

Speaker 3 (54:01):
But we have a lot of mixed comments in those
you know, a lot of mixed mixed opinions in the
comment section, which I think is fair because I think
this is like.

Speaker 2 (54:07):
The husband is the I feel like the final variable
of like what's going on here? I don't know for sure,
but just reading from how Op writes, yeah, I feel
like OPI might have the personality just be like I'm
handling it. Yeah, you know, don't worry, I'm handling it.

Speaker 3 (54:20):
I think I'm on the page with like Lulu of
Lulu says they really should have called out mother in
law when she wasn't being gentle, not through text, like
in that moment. Yeah, and I'm like, okay, let's not
do it that way, not like waiting a couple days
or it's maybe even weeks, We're not really sure and
then being like here's this whole text message thing.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, this has just been very very I
know we usually are like, communication is key, but this
is very bad communication.

Speaker 3 (54:44):
Ah just me, I think, yeah, just be me, says
opis is having very legitimate feelings about all of the
incidents that happened. Most mothers would be on edge about
these things. However, the way Ope communicated them and every
situation inflamed it intensely. I like, I think I one
hundred percent agree with that comment. Yeah, grus me is Yeah,
that's where I think my head's at. And yeah, but
put in the comments like where you guys are because
I know that we're kind of mixed here, But let's continue.

(55:07):
This is especially fun because my husband notoriously never answers
texts or invites and she knows it. But you know
what else, I know you can listen to full episodes
of stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
or iHeartRadio and search a booky story time. But there's
a little bit left to this story and there's an
update I guess to finish it off. Emerson says Op

(55:27):
and her husband need to be documented everything that have
occurred in writing to keep a written record. I think,
I like, totally show what you're saying in terms of
like a lot of times people need that legal you know,
paper trail. But I think when your goal and that
might not have been a peace coal is effective communication
it barely. It does not usually work through text. But

(55:49):
there's a little bit left update She sent another text.
It reads, you think you're the only one who has
suffered of our falling with baby. I have spent more
days in bed not being able to fuckunction And actually
I had to go back on antidepressants because I've been
depressed for months over this.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
Which like could be honestly like true, like I would
feel I would feel awfreaking terrible if I drop someone's kid. Yeah,
and it's like again.

Speaker 3 (56:13):
And also finding out like oh that person that's PTSD.

Speaker 2 (56:15):
If you had if you had communicated your issue softer
in a different way, maybe that vulnerability comes out of
the mother in law as vulnerability instead of like, yeah, well,
I also suffered, like you're.

Speaker 3 (56:27):
Constant reminder of how untrustworthy I am, and over by
how you act towards me, like you are the police
and I'm the convict. By the way you and husband
had a package and card arrived today ominous my last
responsible for blocking or on all platforms. Oh no, if
you're sorry about it. You shouldn't attack me. What a
completely horrible way to treat someone you hurt. You repeatedly

(56:50):
give me reasons to not trust you. Therefore I do
not trust you. It's true. I'm not gonna pretend like
I do anymore. You decided to nuke a relationship with
your previous text completely called for what. We don't play
with bullies over here, and I will not teach my
kids that it's okay to be around people who treat
others like that. I begged you to help me keep
them safe, and you attacked me. Let that sink in.

(57:12):
You attacked me for my plea to please keep my
baby safe. That was your chi choice. Bye bye bye
bye bye bye bye.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
Yeah, and that's the end of that story.

Speaker 1 (57:21):
Dang Sam here og host. We're gonna get back to
these stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (57:26):
First, Remember when I was like, oh, the Maajong tiles
shouldn't shouldn't devolve into anything crazy, and then it freaking did.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
Yeah. I don't know, man, it was just it just
seemed like at any opportunity to de escalate the situation,
the opposite choice was chosen.

Speaker 3 (57:44):
This was this was like it was on the verge
of like Cold.

Speaker 2 (57:47):
War and then it went into full on, yeah, World
War J nuke after four texts. That's that's which is
that's crazy.

Speaker 3 (57:55):
Okay, but that is the end of this story, at
the end of this episode.

Speaker 2 (58:01):
So if you love us, make sure you subscribe. We
love you and see you tomorrow.

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My mother-in-law made a hurtful comment toward me… now everyone’s turned on her! | Reddit Stories | EP2065

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My mother-in-law made a hurtful comment toward me… now everyone’s turned on her! | Reddit Stories | EP2065