October 24, 2025 • 50 mins
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00:14 r/MotherInLawsFromHell - [1] I can’t even make this up
28:15 r/okstorytime - My mother doesnt agree with my parenting and now shes telling everyone about a fight we had....what do I do?
39:55 r/okstorytime - AITA for limiting my grandmother’s access to my life? And what do I do now that it backfired?
Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
We have some rocking stories for you coming up.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
But before you rock out with your socks out, I
got a quick tun minute ad break from a sponsors,
keeping the show rocking and rolling.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
My mother in law ruined my wedding.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
What else was she supposed to do?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
My fiance and I are getting married in two months.
As the wedding has been getting closer, my future mother
in law is showing signs of craziness I have never
seen before.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Because it was always about her.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Yeah. I have known my mother in law for over
five years now and have always loved her. By the way,
this comes from Proud Rooster fifteen fifty seven, and if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
rs slash Okay story Time Separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Riley,
and I'm Keon, and we'll try to give our best advice.
But we haven't experienced most of these situations ourselves, so
(00:50):
if you have, let us know what you would do
in the comments, and Op says a little backstory. My
fiance's parents were married twenty seven years and they ended
up getting divorced a couple of years ago due to
financial reasons. My future father in law remarried to a
wonderful lady who has trying to connect with me and
my fiance's brother's fiance.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Okay, reconnect me with my pull.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
A backup fiances so op's fiance's brother brothers fiance, so
basically girlfriends brother in law's girlfriend. There has been a
lot of drama recently due to my future mother in
law not being told the date of our wedding as
soon as we confirmed it. She found out from her
ex husband because my fiance was still living with him.
(01:34):
On the rehearsal dinner invitation card, I put it was
hosted by the groom's family. I wanted her to feel
included even though she isn't paying for it. She was
upset because no one told her about it or asked.
I think that's a fair thing to be upset for
her to be, like, no.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
One told me about the wedding, No one told me
about the wedding day, and no one told you that
you rehearsed. Yeah, so far, I see where the mother
will has come from.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Yeah, my fiance told her it was because of her
financial issues, and he didn't want it to be a
burden on her. I think you still should have told
her and then she could make that decision of whether
or not she could afford it. Yeah, you could even say, like, hey,
I know you've been having like I just want to
invite you because I care about you and I wish
you could come, But if you can't, I totally understand.
She visited our house and pulled me aside to say,
(02:20):
what are the seating arrangements going to be like for
the wedding? As long as you don't sit me next
to her talking about my father in law's new wife.
Also fair care. I mean, I don't know if you
needed to say that specifically.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
She probably said it differently too.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
She has voiced her opinion over several occasions about how
she wants it to be known she is the mother
of the groom and not my father in law's new wife.
A fair. I was so fair. She's probably saying he's
pretty nastily.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Though, Okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
She is constantly reminding everyone she will be civil at
our shower and wedding for the sake of her boys.
In my opinion, you don't announce you will be civil,
you just are. She has repeatedly sent text messages to
my fiance and his brother, as well as her ex husband,
talking about how she has received the bad end of
the stick in life, but she wants to do what's
(03:09):
best for her boys. Today, I received a text message
from her about a shirt a friend of hers daughter.
The shirt says mother of the groom with the letter
O in of as a diamond ring. Underneath it says
our wedding date. Underneath that, it says I left him first,
with the date of my fiance's birthday. Okay, cute, that's
a little weird. That one's a little weird.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
I'm sorry that one's.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
A little weird. I'd be like, Okay, I have spoken
to my mom about this and I'm genuinely lost for
what to do. I feel offended by the shirt, and
I also think it's supposed to be a jab at
my father in law's new wife as well. Oh yeah,
any advice please. And there are some comments. Dude, it
(03:53):
seems like she is just causing problems. She just wants
to be center of attention and cause little drama. You know.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
If this happened, yeah to me, my wife, my fiance
probably have the same reaction. I have now, Oh, really
she's causing problems. Oh I just was just something she'd like,
we don't have to listen to them all.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Yeah, I don't think I think that's I mean, I
do think that is the solutionion.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
It's just like, yeah, but if I heard all these things,
I'd probably be like, Okay, just don't sit her beside.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
The Yeah, I know that. I agree. It's like, obviously
she's causing problems, but I don't think there's you know,
she's not throwing things at people. She's just kind of
annoying like that one story. Yeah, so I think you
just say, okay, we won't sit her next to that person.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Skill out of one to ten, and how much of
a mother in law bridezilla she is being? Were like
a four?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Five she's being annoying.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
I'm yeah, I'm gonna say five right now.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
But I can see I can see it getting worse.
But right now, I'm like, okay, comment.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
What she's jealous and insecure, perhaps a mother in law bouncer.
If she can't behave herself at the w let them
deal with babysitting her. Opie says, way ahead of U, lol,
My wedding coordinator is such a girl's girl, and she
is ready at any given moment to throw hands. Reply
is the shirt to communicate something to mother in law's
ex husband and or new wife. Because I was reading
(05:15):
about the shirt and thought it was ammeshment like mother
in law being possessive of her son versus you, op
Opie says, See, I think that's the message that I'm
picking up on too. I think she got a two
for one deal because it's a jab at the new wife,
but also could be for me too because I'm the
one marrying him. Reply, Okay, yeah, I think it's the
(05:37):
wedding ring image and son's birthday that makes me lean
towards her son's marriage with you at it next day,
I actually can see this woman not intending to take
a shot at you, like if she was worked up
pushing back at everything and just got messy af So,
I have a mom who does not understand boundaries, and
my brothers have told me at times it feels like
(05:57):
she was trying to make them be not just her son,
but trying to make them feel her social and emotional needs.
Have you felt like she blurs the lines of what
a mom should expect of your partner, like, does she
want him to drop what he's doing and attend to
her or attend to her when she has big feelings
or crises? Opie says, hold on, hold on now. I
was not ready for that. So a while ago, when
(06:19):
she first moved out on her own again, she would
call him repeatedly to work on something in her house.
Sure it was things she absolutely needed and couldn't afford,
like a front porch. Hers was dry rotted and not safe.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
She asked her front porch.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
That's yeah, she needed that front porch. Then it got
to be mowing the grass or pulling up roots, et cetera,
et cetera. Finally she stopped doing that, but at one
point she was doing that. Common two says, is she
planning on wearing it to the versal dinner or the wedding?
If not, why did she text you a pick of
it looking for a reaction. I wouldn't give her one,
Opie says, I have no idea. I'm too afraid to
(06:56):
ask her when she plans on wearing it, because I
don't want it to seem like I'm inviting her to
wear that thing. I think she was looking for reaction.
My response back was just awe, which is not how
I usually respond. Common three says divorce mom of two
boys here. I really don't think you have to really
worry much over your mother in law. Just make sure
you give an extra little attention to her. She is
(07:18):
feeling very insecure because not only is her long term
marriage gone, father in law moved on, and now she's
losing her son. We raised daughters and have best friends
for life. We raised sons to be good husbands to
their wives, and the embarrassment of not being able to
financially support anything, She's probably really feeling like she's losing
(07:39):
everything all over again. That tiny bit of extra energy
will pay off immensely with way more rewards than you
can imagine for years to come. Opie says, I do
try my best to include her in things. I've asked
her to be in charge of picking the mother's son dance.
I'm finding some pictures that I would like her to
take with her son the day of the wedding, just
to make her feel like she's actually included. Unfortunately, the
(08:01):
list of things that Mogg does for the wedding is slim.
I am blessed that my parents are taking care of things.
I do disagree with the fact she's losing her son.
I have made it crystal clear she will always be
as mom and I will have no part in what
my fiance says to her. I know he respects me
and my decisions. Well, I do agree she's probably reliving
(08:23):
a lot of emotions with the wedding. This is not
the time for her to hash out her emotions, as
it's raining on the happiness I am supposed to feel.
She openly discusses things with me, and in my honest opinion,
I should be the last person she discusses things with.
I give her what I am capable of, and if
it's not enough for it's no longer my problem. And
there is a small update, folks.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah this is smart, giving her a little bit extra
at tension. Yeah, but I feel loved.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Just give her enough to keep her happy.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
You gotta realize she's going through transitional time in her
life and.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
She's being annoying. But it's not that I don't think
you can handle.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
She's not handling it the best. You just gotta juggle
with it, roll with the punches. I'm not honestly moving
her down there with three I realize where she's coming from.
I'm just gonna love on her some more.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
I think she's middle ground because she could go either way.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
I think this is just in law. Yeah, it seems
this is from what we've read before.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
That's middle of the road.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
To me. I give it a three because right now
I don't have to put love her a little bit
more and I don't have to physically do anything.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Actually, but there is a small update. Oh boy, we
had our couple's shower today. Mother in law and father
in law were very civil with each other, and she
met the new wife. Okay. See, she said she would
be civil, and she was. Everything was fine from what
I'm told for the shirt. The next day, after she
sent the pick of the shirt, I casually dropped a
comment saying, Hey, people have been asking about the attire
(09:48):
for the shower, and I've just been telling them something
you would typically wear for church or a nice dinner somewhere.
She responded back, okay, and today she walked in with
a very classy top and pants. No mother of the
groom shirts. Overall, it was very classy party and I'm
very happy there wasn't any drama.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
I just think she's hurt, expressing how she feels.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
That was it, and there is another update. I feel
like it. We still have more than half of the
story to go, so I do imagine it probably will
get worse.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I don't know why, but I feel like mother in
law is gonna be cool. Yeah, she's gonna be chill.
She's just hurt, she's expressing it. She's actually not gonna
do anything.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
She's okay, we'll find out.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
She's getting through this hard part of her life.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
I hope. So Update two. At the couple shower, everything
was fine until it got to the point of opening gifts.
No mother in law, my fiance, and I did not
intend on opening gifts in front of people. We just
wanted to celebrate everyone being together and open the gifts privately.
(10:53):
We started opening the gifts while everyone was conversing and mingling. However,
my future mother in law's mom and aunt decide why
did they were going to stand right next to us
the entire time. Well we opened gifts. They even started
dictating what gifts we open next. I have never in
my life seen some people act that way. What okay, okay,
(11:13):
that's the only one where I'm like people Every birthday
I've been people have been like, open my next, open
nine nights. That's like super common.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I was at a baby shower recently. They were helping
the couple pick out gifts because they're the one the puples,
the ones opening them. Yeah, everyone else could.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Everyone else gets to pick. That's how my family has
always done it. It's been like, okay, open to my next.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Usually at my last birthday party, I was just handed
gifts and I opened them nets.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Yeah, we all went, okay, Ley, take this one out.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Yeah, honestly, don't see a problem.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
I don't either, not quite yet.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
They even started dictating what gifts we open next. I
have never in my life seen people act that way.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
We've never been to a birthday party before or Christmas.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Yeah, so that says they shouldn't have been opening them
in public. Then wait, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
She says she didn't want to open them public, but
somehow it happened. I don't understand.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Yeah, they shouldn't if they didn't want to know, but
I feel like it's pretty common.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
I don't know. If I a gift, yeah, I would
want to see the ocean.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
I feel like that's like part of the you know,
fun of giving gifts.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Yeah, Alex got me a water cooling thing from my
Oh that's cool.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
I know it's a good gift.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Taking it to micro Center today.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
My future mother in law decided to make a comment
to my fiance's dad by saying, can you believe these
kids are getting married just a few days before we
got married. This comment was made in front of my
future father in law's knew why oh wait yeah, no,
wait no sorry, future mother in law does said this.
Can you believe these kids are getting married just a
few days before we got married? This comment was made
(12:41):
in front of my future father in law's new wife.
I have never wanted to crawl into a hole more
in my entire life.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
It splits her up to a five.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Yeah, I think just tell it a five. Fast forward
a little bit later, my fiance's brother and his fiance
booked a wedding venue and didn't tell anyone because it
really was not a huge deal. My future mother in
law was livid at the fact she was not included
in this information. She put my fiance and his brother
in a group chat and basically called his brother out
(13:09):
for not giving information, as well as us for not
filling her in on our wedding.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Details probably just fills left out.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Yeah. I decided right then there, between the awful shirt
and the way she was talking to my fiance, that
she wouldn't be joining me when it came to finding
a wedding dress and it would only be me and
my mom do Previously, she asked if she could come
along because she had never had any girls to get
this experience with. At first, I was very understanding and
wanted her to come with me. However, that completely changed things.
(13:39):
A month ago, my mom and I decided it was
time to find a wedding dress. He booked an appointment
at a shop and honestly didn't think we would find
the dress. You know. Of course, I did end up
finding my dress there, and I didn't tell anyone, including
future mother in law. I received a text two days
ago from my future mother in law asking if I
had found my wedding dress yet, and that the wedding
(14:00):
was coming up quick like I wasn't already aware, so
I flat out told her that I did find one.
She texted me yesterday asking if she could drop by
to give some things to my fiance while he was
at work, and I replied, back, shirt, she shows up
at my house with the things she wanted to give
to my fiance, and then we get to chatting. That
first it was innocent. Then she asks me, well, do
you have a picture of your dress? I told her
(14:22):
I do, but I was gonna let it be a
surprise for the wedding, which is literally two weeks away.
At this point, I said, the only people who know
what my dress looks like is my mom, dad, and grandmother,
who sadly can't make it to the wedding due to
health issues. She said she understood, and changed the subject
to the song her and my fiance's dad decided dance
to at their wedding Okay they are no longer married.
(14:45):
From the shower and dropping in appropriate comments in front
of my future father in law's new wife, to now
my wedding, she is basically wanting to reenact her wedding
at my wedding to get some sort of emotion out
of it.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
She's so lost.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
At this point, I told my fiance what happened, and
his exact words were, it's like she wants us to
reenact their wedding because she misses their marriage and I'm
not doing that. She then played me the song from
their wedding, which was atrocious, and I smiled and said, ah,
how sweet. Well, this is what me and my fiance
(15:17):
are doing. This was already settled a month ago, and
proceeded to play her a snippet of the song my
fiance and I will be dancing too. She smiled and
said it was sweet, and eventually she left. Then I
got a text from my fiance's brother's fiance saying our
future mother in law was going to her house, in
which I offered thoughts and prayers to her because she's
also planning a wedding. She texted me after a while
(15:38):
and said, I love the idea of you not showing
anyone your dress until the day off. I'm thinking of
doing that. I responded with, yeah, I want everyone to
be surprised. Typically, when something is bothering someone, especially women,
what is the first thing you do? You talk it
out with someone. If something doesn't bother you, what do
you do You don't talk about it with anyone because
(15:59):
it doesn't bother you that badly. So my future mother
in law proceeded to talk to my future sister in
law about the fact that I didn't show her my dress.
Because I wanted it to be a surprise. I know
she was livid about it because I know she wanted
to be there when I found my dress because that's
what she did with her ex's mom. I do not
feel like carrying that tradition because that's what she did. Okay,
(16:23):
I solely wanted my mom there and my mom alone
because she never got that experience with her mother. And
it was one of the best days ever. And there
is a third update. But do you have any other thoughts.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I don't know. This mother in law is just gonna
be pissed at whatever. At this point. She's finding things
to be creating problems.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Now, yeah, I do think you know, she probably is
upset that she doesn't get to take you to the
wedding dress shopping because you agreed, but you you know,
didn't want her there for very valid reasons, and it
ended up being a very nice moment for you and
your mom.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah. I was rooting for the mother in law in
this story. I was hoping mm she'd come around. She
was just hurt, she misses her marriage, but her actions
would be Okay, now she's letting some things slip. I
just think she needs a good group of friends to
hang out with.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Yeah, she needs that. Like all these things over father
in law.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Yeah, like literally all these things. And reasons why this
is happening is because she's having expectations of what she
thinks is gonna happen, and that's kind of what her
life's revolving around. She doesn't have anything outside of her life.
She's divorced. She's mourning that she's trying to be there
for her two sons that like, you know, financially she
can't be there, so she's trying to do her best physically,
and it seems like she's kind of missing some things.
(17:35):
I don't know. I'm still rooting for.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Rude are We're all rooting for you. But there is
an update. Now that the wedding and honeymoon are over,
I can finally give everyone an updates. They want some
popcorn and something stronger because it's gonna be a doozy.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
No.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
First things First, to the people who have previously commented
to give my mother in law a chance show us
apart for her be kinder to included more, you were
also wrong thing nor.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
No okay, okay, okay, look, look you can't blame me
for trying to want to help someone out.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Yeah, you were just thinking the best of her.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
I don't want to see a naffing comment about how
wrong I was because I didn't know the end of
the story. I don't want to see it.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
He doesn't want to see it.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
I'm ready, Wait, he's ready. Now.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
I know this woman better read anyone. Oh you said I'm.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Ready, I said, wait, I'm ready now.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Oh okay, Sorry. I know this woman better than anyone,
and I know her intentions were directed at me and
stepmother in law in a negative way. She proved that
during the whole weekend. To start the weekend before we
got married, my husband and I received a text and
a group message from mother in law saying, last week
for the single life. Then it's officially I do Oh
(18:49):
he's not single. I know she is from an older
generation where that was the phrase, but it still irked
me because what exactly have I been the past five
and a half years I've been with your son? Definitely
not single. Now it's Friday rehearsal dinner day when mother
in law arrives that morning, she sent my husband and
father in law a picture of her wearing the shirt
(19:11):
the one that says mother of the groom. I left
him first. I'm irritated, but I'm not about to let
it ruin anything. We all arrive at the venue for
the rehearsal and I was mingling with some family members
before it started. They finally show up and guess what
she's wearing. No, a white bassed dress with small pink flowers.
(19:34):
Not a white dress. Mother in law?
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Oh, mother, y guys, guys, it's cream.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
No, and have pink flowers on it.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
It's white based. It's like that you see her shirt.
It's white, it's white based. It's kind of cream. You
are a tin now, mother in law, Yeah, you have
a couple numbers graduated to a tin. That's the worst
absolute thing you can do at a wedding. Dead move horrible.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
I immediately walk away to my parents and do some
deep breathing because it's literally just the rehearsal and I
don't need to let her room my day. While I
was over there, the wedding coordinator was introducing herself to
my husband, and my mother in law inrupted their conversation
and said, I'm mother in law's name, I'm the mother
of Opie's husband, directly in front of stepmother in law
and father in law. My future sister in law informed
(20:21):
me of this after the fact. We've finished the rehearsal
and headed to the dinner where we are told we're
to sit. There weren't many places to sit anyways. While
we were at dinner, one of my bridesmaid's girlfriend arrives
and brings a bottle of champagne, which was not expected.
We finished dinner and decide at that moment to do
a champagne toast with the one bottle of champagne. Clearly
(20:43):
we only add enough for maybe half the people. Yeah,
I know it looks bad, but again it wasn't planned
until right then and there. We take pictures and wrap
up dinner and start saying our goodbyes to everyone, when
all of the sudden, mother in law pulls my husband
outside along with her too entourage. At the window and
see her bawling her eyes out will bear hugging him
(21:03):
and then immediately leaving. I look around, thinking, oh, what
in the actual heck is her problem. It was a
little rude to take him outside, but to only hug
him and not even say bye to me very rude.
I found out later she was upset because she wasn't
asked to participate in the champagne toast. No one asked
to be in the toast. We were blindly handing out
(21:24):
glasses to everyone. I couldn't tell you who got a
glass and who didn't. She was also upset we sat
where we did. However, she was the first one to
arrive for the dinner and choose her spot.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
See all these little things I think she's trying to
point out and be upset about.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Yeah, she's just making up things to be upset about.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
At this point, she was actually there for her son. Dude,
that was awesome. That was an awesome champagne toast. I'm
so glad like you guys sat there. You guys look
great together. You guys are doing great. Blah blah blah
blah blah.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
But no, she took the annoying way well, wearing her
white based dress. Yeah tisk tists.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Cream, you can go to hell. Why based.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
It?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Now, let's get into my favorite part of the whole
weekend wedding day. Everything was fine the morning up, got
ready with my girls, took pictures the whole nine yards.
We arrived at the venue to start taking more pictures
and mother in law has not even arrived yet. My
husband and I did a first look and everything, and
she didn't even show up for that. She was given
(22:28):
a time to arrive and she was late. We had
to wait on her to take family pictures. And when
she arrived, y'all, when she arrived, she was wearing the
purest white bassed dress with pink flowers on it.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Oh she changed it. My god, she made it more white.
Speaker 4 (22:46):
She made it more white, she made it more I
told you the original one was cream.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
My bridesmaids immediately came up to me and walked me
away from the situation, which was good on them. After
I calmed down, we went back to get her for pictures,
and I was as nice as I could possibly be
during that time. I managed to avoid her during the
rest of the time before the ceremony and let her
mingle with my family. The ceremony starts, and it's beautiful.
Then I see my husband walking mother in law down
(23:13):
the aisle, y'all. I find out later when he led
her to her seat, she tried to kiss him on
the mouth. The rest of the ceremony was wait what
her son?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
What?
Speaker 3 (23:23):
No husband? Sorry?
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
I'm so crazy. She tried to kiss her ex husband.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
She's going through it right now, she's relapsing, whatever's happening.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
The rest of the ceremony was fine, and cocktail hour begins.
We walked down the beach for more wedding pictures and
it's now time for the entrance to the reception. My
husband is nowhere to be found. Turns out mother in
law and her two entourage were holding him back to
have a conversation with him about what. I don't know.
At this point, my brother is running down the beach
(23:53):
to get him back for our entrance. I was furious
at this point, not necessarily at him, but a little
bit because we were on a time crunch. We finally
get to the reception and it was great. Our first
dance was great. The father daughter dance brought everyone to tears,
and ironically, once the mother son dance started, everyone kind
of started drinking and was ready to party. During the reception,
(24:16):
I needed just a little break from dancing and my
husband's grandmother comes up to me and starts showing me
pictures of mother in law and father in law's wedding
from thirty years ago. I looked at her and said
I need to go dance with my husband and walked
away so vast to the bar. The rest of the
night was beautiful and we had an amazing time. Some
(24:36):
of the people from the wedding came back to the
house we were staying in to keep partying, and my
future sister in law was one of them. We were
basically yelling with each other about mother in law's action,
and apparently mother in law said some things to future
sister in law like, hey, future sister in law, remember me,
I'm mother in law. Hello, leave me alone. Mother in
(24:57):
law just very obnoxiously because my future sister in law
hadn't had the chance to speak to her yet. We
all go to bed and wake up happily married and
start to pack for her honeymoon.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Yay, okay, we got there so acting kind of crazy. Yeah,
white dress over the top, but no cake was fallen.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Yeah. No, didn't have to drag her out.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Didn't have to drag her out, No words.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
Yeah, my husband gets a text for mother in law
saying have fun in Jamaica since I'll never get the
chance to go. He responded with a very quick okay,
And we didn't speak to her for an entire week,
which was amazing. But there is a little bit left
to the story. Any final thoughts.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
At first, A few things. At first, I was rooting
for the mother in law. She wore cream than white based. Yeah,
she left. I want to apologize to Keion for telling
him to go to at double hockey six. Sorry. I
was in the heat of the moment and I actually
feel bad about that name. Asking for your forgiveness gets
me on the lips first, Okay.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
All right, I guess you never get in that forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Then I'm gonna give it to him nastually.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Okay, there is a little bit left to this story.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
It's just sorry, real quick.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
I just I had hope that she would be better
than this.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
She want to wear wine, dude, just don't. Why is
it so hard just don't wear white to a wedding.
I didn't even wear a white shirt to a wedding
because I was afraid that it would be too much,
or wear a blue one.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
I think that men can wear white shirts.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
You wear told me that that is such a sexist
world we live in. Men can wear white shirts, but
women can't wear white dresses. This is crazy. I'm done.
I can't the attire of weddings just confuse me all around.
Can you wear a hat? A man can wear a hat,
but a woman can't.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
No Ah, nobody can wear hats.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
Do you want to wear a bra?
Speaker 3 (26:52):
What about?
Speaker 4 (26:54):
Do you want to wear a bra?
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Anyway you thought about that? But what about a NewsCap hat?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Sure, my dad, I let you wear a news cap.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
I don't want to wear it. I'm not old enough
to wear one of those.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
So for those who once again think I'm the bad
person here for not giving her a chance, I tried to.
After many attempts at trying to help her find a
dress to wear or de escalate certain situations, She'll make
herself the victim. She purposely wore white based dresses to
both events on purpose and one hundred percent war that
(27:23):
shir to send to my husband and father in law
to make sure they knew she was going to get
some kind of attention. I have spoken to her since
the wedding, and it has been very brief. We haven't
spoken about the wedding yet, and I don't know that
we will for the future babies if we decide to.
My husband and I are on the same page when
it comes to her. There are boundaries we are both
(27:44):
seeing for when that time comes, and we will absolutely
not tolerate her crap. And that is the end of
that story. Folks, All right, yikes there, Yeah, don't tolerate it.
She's clearly causing problems. Yeah, we hope she wasn't going,
but she did. She did, and she disrespected what you
were trying to do. And you know, yeah, gave her
(28:07):
chances in the first half.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
She got us. She she got Riley, for sure, she
short did.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
But that's the end of that story. And we've got
another one coming right up.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
My mother criticizes my parents inc well.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Maybe you should try it if you're so good.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
I am a thirty three female living in the UK.
My mother is sixty seven female. We are extremely close
up until a couple of weeks ago. I have two sons,
three and one, and my mother and father watched them
for me when I'm at work. When I'm not at work,
I spend or should say I spent a lot of
my time at my parents' house doing things with my mother.
(28:43):
By the ways, comes from Annoy Damas And if you
want some of your own stories, go to the r
slash ok stories. I'm suffered where this one's submitted, it's
one of our own babies. I'm Riley, I'm Sophia, and
I'm Keon, and we'll try to give her best advice.
But we have not experienced most of these situations ourselves,
so if you have, let us know your take in
the comments are okay. Op says, it's important to note
(29:06):
that my mother and I have very different views on parenting.
I believe in treating children with the same respect you
would an adult, and allowing children to express their feelings.
My older son can get physical when he's upset, and
being tired or hungry can exacerbate his emotions. I have
been working really hard with him on this. We try
(29:28):
to work with Sophia on this. I take him for
time outs and I talked to him about other strategies
to use and we practice them together.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
We should do that with Sophia.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
We really should. If you go to the quarter for
a second, I have a right, Sophia, that's enough.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
That's enough.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Maybe you should eat more food before you come on
the stream.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
I was vacuuming the entire house.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Please don't hit me.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
Sounds like it sounds I should have time to eat.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
You're becoming very hormonal right now.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Oh no, don't say that.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Calm down.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
He's a woman doctor.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I know what words to prescribe to her.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
How's your boyfriend?
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Did you get one?
Speaker 4 (30:06):
Works every time?
Speaker 1 (30:07):
No, it's gonna be six months until it actually works out. Y,
it works every time.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
Whatever. She's in a grumpy state or mind mindset. How's
your boyfriend? And she just looks like that.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
She's not even hungry anymore. Yeah, she's like, what's who
you're thinking about? That?
Speaker 3 (30:23):
Meat?
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Slie ew grow ew.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
That's great?
Speaker 4 (30:29):
So how's your boyfriend?
Speaker 1 (30:35):
So beautiful? Anyway, Hey, calm down, I've come. I take
him for timeouts, and I talked to him about other
strategies to use. He's three, so he doesn't use the
strategies often or on his own.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Sometimes he's three so he doesn't quite understand the strategies
that we're trying to use.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Sometimes he screams and cries and it takes a while
for him to calm down. I usually take him to
her room and stay with him until he calms down
and we can talk about what happened. I let him
cry until he's ready. Sometimes it takes ten to twenty minutes.
We have gone to the point where he can take
deep breaths once he starts to calm down, and his
tantrums have produced in time and frequency. It all started
(31:14):
on my younger son's birthday a couple of weeks ago.
My mother, myself, and my boys went out all to
eat together and went for a walk afterwards. We were
planning on going back to her house so the boys
can nap and we could play games. My youngest will nap,
but my oldest has recently been growing out of naps.
We will have nap one day and not the next.
(31:36):
When he does nap, we won't go to sleep until
nine or later, and it'll be rough. He will act
up when he gets tired, hitting, kicking, or throwing tantrums,
all normal toddler behavior. This has created a problem between
my mother and me because she doesn't agree with how
I handle his behavior. I've done a lot of research
on parenting, and I believe that children should be allowed
(31:58):
to have their feelings refused to scare a child into
not expressing them. We had talked about it previously and
decided that I would step in and handle behaviors so
she didn't have to On this particular day, I knew
he wouldn't want to nap, so I asked mom to
drive him around in my car while I put my
youngest down. She did for about ten minutes and he
(32:20):
fell asleep. When I went to transfer him to a bed,
he woke up. He was very upset and did not
want to nap. I told him we were going to
lay down together for a few minutes and then we
could get up. He did not want an app anymore,
so he started crying and screaming. I tried to stay calm.
I knew it would pass when he was ready. I
sat on the bed and told him that I was
(32:42):
going to rest. My mom came in and tried to
get him to calm down, which did not work. He
needs time to get it all out, as we all do. Sometimes.
She left but stayed by the door. He opened the
door and she came in and picked him up. She
laid him on the bed and started talking to him
in a very angry tone, saying, you better not wake
up your brother. In my opinion, his brother is not
(33:05):
his responsibility and he wasn't in a place to understand
where she was coming from. That's when I picked him
up and told her I had hit handled. She promptly
responded to you, and I was taken a bit aback,
so I clapped back with, well, what you're doing is
really helping. Then she said this was happening way too
often and it needed to stop.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
Is like a three year old having some tantrums.
Speaker 4 (33:27):
You need a three year old?
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Have you ever, mother? Did you forget about when your
child was a three year old?
Speaker 1 (33:33):
I hate it when other people are trying to parent
your own kids and it's like, dude, just yea, let
me figure this one out.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Okay, yeah, man, unless they're like hitting your kid or
you know, hitting you something where it's like you're not
parenting your child and someone's getting hurt or something like that.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Yeah, come on there, involved Hey, it's Sean here.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick
three minute break with asermar sponsors.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
I'm assuming she was referring to my child feelings, like
his feelings were too much and she wanted them to stop.
I told her we'd leave, and we did. Later that day,
I texted her and apologized for escalating the situation and
told her we would take a break from coming over
to her house. I also offered to answer any questions
she had about my reasoning behind the way I parented.
(34:18):
She responded saying that parenting was hard, and even she
questioned her own parenting. I felt like she had been
judging me the entire time we'd been hanging out, and
she didn't just have a conversation with me about it.
The next day, I did get an apology text where
she admitted that she had overstepped Oh night.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
Okay, improvement nice. I like this, Yeah, this is good.
This is good.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
I told her. I appreciated the apology. My mom has
always been terrible at apologies. They usually start with I'm
sorry you feel that way, So for her not to
say that made me think her apology was genuine. Fast
forward a week, and I'm still upset. I can't quite
figure out why, though. I had talked to my sister
about the situation, and she said she had to stop
(35:03):
hanging out with my mom when her kids were toddlers.
She also said my mom brought it up to her
and said, I told them my boys have to follow
my mom's rules at her house, but I don't make them.
Even my sister said it didn't sound like a rule thing.
I had my son's one year appointment and took both
my boys as my husband was sick. My old us
(35:25):
threw a tantrum while we were there. After the appointment,
our pretty teachian told me she was impressed with how
well I handled both my boys and how calm I stayed.
I told this to my mom and I said it
was nice considering she doesn't agree with how I do things,
and she said, we can agree to disagree. Okay, cool.
(35:46):
I may have been rubbing it in a bit, but
it's also hard to feel like you're doing the right
thing when your mother is telling you you're not. We
went for a walk together to the next day, but
I didn't bring it up. The same weekend, my mother
in law came to visit. I really off my mother
in law. We get along great and she's very sweet.
We were at a family gathering when I spotted my
(36:06):
mom telling my mother in law story. My mother in
law was looking straight at me, and then my mom
pointed at me and continued telling the story. I love
when people do that. What like they're like looking at
you and they're talking. Don't look at that person. Yeah,
Like Kean the other day, he was like really acting
weird and don't tell him that.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
Though I'm always acting weird.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
Yeah, that's strange.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
It's like when none of y'all realized it was jelly Roll.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
I don't even know who jelly Roll is.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
I know.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Too, I was like, oh.
Speaker 4 (36:37):
Shoot, and I just left the room colling person.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Yeah, they all are.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
Everyone's tall, not I. No tall to you, Keon dang Man.
Speaker 4 (36:48):
No, that's okay.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
Oh whoa, he's gentle parenting, you know. Oh no, talk
it out. I can't.
Speaker 4 (36:53):
I can't change my height.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
You can't. And I love that about you.
Speaker 4 (36:57):
That's why I got good charisma, that's.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Right, and a great person.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
Eleven year olds have a crush two even year.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
Olds, but those one, no, it's two.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Oh, they're multiplying. At the end, my mother said enough
is enough, and my mother in law politely agreed and
they stopped talking. I was pretty sure I knew what
she was talking about. I didn't mention anything to my
mother in law about the fight between my mother and me,
because why would I. Sylvia, what do you think they're
talking about here?
Speaker 3 (37:26):
I think that you gotta set more boundaries with your
mom and say, hey, mom, I you know I know
that you're trying to be helpful, but this is my child.
So if you can't, if you can't listen to our boundaries,
then you can't be around the kids.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Yeah. Information diet, Yeah, hanging out diet. I think that's smart. Like, hey,
we're not going to come around for a little bit.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
Yeah, you clearly don't like having my kids over.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
So yeah, yeah you think his emotions are too much.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Yeah, I'll just stop. I'll just not bring my kid over.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
Hop on the band and we got Carly getting on
the on for not getting me so soup.
Speaker 3 (38:01):
Dude, I want me so soup so much, Carly, I
want me so soup.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
Then why don't you date her and take her?
Speaker 3 (38:08):
Yeah, let's go get me so soup.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
You can take her.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Then you get danger, Well, I want me so soup.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
No you haven't actually, so the end the story. The
next morning, I decided to ask my mother in law
about the story Mama was telling her. She said she
couldn't remember, and I gave her the details I heard
and saw. She said she couldn't remember. Then I asked
her it was about my son. She said no. I
didn't ask if she really didn't remember or if she
(38:35):
was just trying not to get in the middle of it.
She stayed quiet, which gave me my answer. Now I'm
not sure what to do. My mother seems like she
doesn't want to talk about things, which is very normal
for her. But I can't get over things until I've
talked about them. I'm currently being polite to her when
she reaches out, but I have no intention of hanging
out with her. She does watch my boys for me
twice a week, but my husband drops them off and
(38:57):
picks them up, so I will not see her on
nless it's arranged. Advice. Please, we have some comments. What
are our comments here?
Speaker 3 (39:06):
What are your comments? I've already said my comments. I've
already said my comments. I don't have anything else to say.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Seems like the ball is in your mom's court. If
you're okay with not talking to her, don't talk to
her until she's ready. If you really want to talk
to her, spike the bullet, reach out.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
We talk.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
I don't like you know, Let's have it all out.
Talk to me like an a hole? Okay, what do
you not like about my parenting?
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Saw?
Speaker 1 (39:28):
What do you not what do you not see? An op?
I know you know what's happening. And I know you're
you're able to confirm with all your researcher you have
of why you're doing the things that you're doing, and
she might just think of it like an old traditional style, like, oh,
this is how things should be old, how this that was?
If you and she's probably afraid to see some reasoning there,
package it up and send it to her.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
Yeah, just have it out. I think you could have
a comment, you could have a conversation. But yeah, she
definitely is me and little Anning.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
I tried to limit my grandmother's access to my life,
but it back fired.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
Seems like she did one information diet.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
And this comes directly from the r slash. Okay, storytime
subpard it. Oh, this is likely going to be a
long one, but I'll try to keep it as concise
as possible. I thirty three female, and my husband, thirty
five male, are expecting our second child.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
Ye children, Yay.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
It's been a long road to get here, but today
I might have f'd up. Uh oh am I the
ale and what do I do now? By the way,
this comes from Last Faithfulness four three four And if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slash okay, storytime subpred it.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
I'm Sophia, I'm Riley.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
And I'm key On. And guys, they posted our photo
from iHeart on e News sick. I'm gonna.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Oh shit, we look really cute.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
Send me a picture. The group ut. And we haven't
been through all of these situations ourselves. We only know
what we'd do, So let us know what you would
do in the comments, so Op says, in order to
give you the full context of the story, I have
to back up a few years. Growing up, my grandmother,
seventy something female, was pretty involved in my childhood as
(41:09):
far as I can remember. As I got older, I
started to notice her animosity towards her ex husband, my
grandfather and his wife, who I also call my grandma.
They had been divorced since before I was born, and
my grandpa remarried when I was maybe four or five,
so I found this strange. As time had gone on,
my grandmother has become increasingly distant from the entire family.
(41:31):
It started small, by claiming to be sick on days
of events like birthday parties for my younger cousins and
raging alternate times to see them. More recently, it got
to a point where she's been skipping bigger events like
weddings and graduations, and the family would genuinely be surprised
to see her, even though she's always invited. What is
especially strange is that this family is incredibly tight knit,
(41:53):
and she is slowly backed away like Homer Simpson backing
through the bushes. This distance has also expanded to her
amount of confer with the family. She often won't return
calls or messages, and she is rarely the first to
reach out. When she does reach out, if you respond,
you typically don't get a response back. It's like she'll
go through the motions to send a text on a
special occasion, but doesn't want the effort of a conversation
(42:16):
or real connection.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
So kind of wants to be your grandma. Yeah, She's like,
I just want the title. And she seems like she's doing, like, legit,
the bare minimum to keep it. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
The one thing she will do is Facebook. Yeah, because
that's just easy and fine, and she gets the public acknowledgment.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
That she's a granted, and there's so many fun games
on Facebook, but not in a.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
Stage, genuinely connected sort of way, more like a look
at me, I'm such in a mathing gramma kind of way,
very performative, with no real connection. She will heart react,
leave gift comments with no words, and take your pictures
to post on her own page. My son is currently
her cover photo. She also posts about when I was
in labor but couldn't be bothered to respond to a
message I had sent you while I was laboring in
(43:01):
a hospital. Thankfully, she took that post down at my
mom's request. Speaking of my son, she met him once
when he was a newborn. He's about to turn three.
Her visit was unannounced and quite frankly, very awkward. The
one thing I remember was her being passive aggressive about
my newborn baby using a pacifier.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
Oh well, seems like I can't feed right now? What
else am I supposed to do?
Speaker 3 (43:24):
Why A's so upset about the bestwyer? She yelled him
and said, oh his name. You don't need that, that's yucks.
He probably does need that because he's a baby.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Let the baby be.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
I remember thinking you never come around, couldn't even be
bothered to send a card for the baby shower. But
now you're criticizing my parenting. That's yucks. Ever since that
visit almost three years ago, my grandmother has continued even
less contact than before. She has never once reached out
to ask how my son is doing. She sends her
performative Happy Birthday or Merry Christmas text about how much
(43:59):
she met the thoth is proud of us, YadA, YadA, YadA,
but the second you respond and try to start a conversation, crickets.
She also went from living in the same city as
my uncles and younger cousins to moving out of state. Meanwhile,
she's doing the most on Facebook caart, reacting every single post,
making her gift comments, and stealing the pictures she wants
(44:19):
to share for her own audience, who is blissfully unaware
of her absence.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
In some ways, this means more than actually being there.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
Yeah, in some ways this is actually so much better.
And I don't think you realize that'llp you.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Get the presence of a grandma online and not in
real life. I think you don't understand what you have here. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
Sometimes this is done with her profile. Sometimes this is
done on her boyfriend's profile. There was also a second
profile of hers that I had deleted because I was
certain it was inactive. This will be important later on.
One of the pictures she shared of my child. Her
boyfriend commented, saying, you're suching, amazing great Graham. I'm sorry, sorry,
but my child doesn't even know who either of them are,
(45:03):
which is by her doing. He's not going to remember
a visit from when he was a newborn. This has
me feeling like her social media is nothing but performative
and she no longer has any real desire for connection.
To make it really clear, I went through my phone
recently to try to find the last time she and
I had a real conversation. We haven't had a phone
call in years, and the last time she reached out
(45:24):
to me was a year and a half ago. She
wished me a happy New Year. I tried to engage
her in conversation and she never responded. She also never
responded to a happy Birthday message I sent her later
in the year. What And as Porky pig One said,
that's all, folks, that's how does he do it? That's
(45:51):
all folks.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Hey, it's Sam.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
We're gonna get back to these stories.
Speaker 4 (45:54):
But here's three of us ads from our sponsors that
keep the show alive.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Fast forward. Yesterday we had our first I have struggled
with infertility and early miscarriages in the past, so I
kept our news pretty quiet until we had confirmation that
baby was healthy and viable. Few things the doctor wants
to keep an eye on this time around due to
the complications with the pregnancy and birth of our son,
but nothing alarming at all. We got some ultrasound pictures
(46:19):
to take home and we're happy as can be. When
I got home, some anxiety came about making an announcement.
I was excited to share our news, but I didn't
want my grandmother's performative energy interfering. I decided, after a
lot of consideration, to limit her and her boyfriend from
seeing the posts. Yeah, they just reposted, and they're like,
(46:40):
I'm so happy that I have another grandchild that I'm
gonna see every day.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Her likes are about to look slim because of that
information diet you're getting there, Mm hmm. That and that's
what's up. So true.
Speaker 3 (46:54):
I had already been living them from the other posts
that felt more personal. It has helped me protect my
peace with the situation lately. With support from my family,
I drafted the post, created a couple cute images, tagged
my husband, and posted the comments and support came rolling
in from extended family, friends, and coworkers. I went to sleep,
feeling relieved that we were able to finally share this
(47:15):
news with the people who are present in our lives.
At one am, first trimester insomnia came like clockwork. I
checked my phone because what else do you do at
one am? And my heart sank. Remember that inactive second
profile I mentioned earlier, the one I deleted from my
friend's list, assuming it was a passed away profile. Well
it was wrong. Not only is it active, but it
(47:36):
is apparently friends with my husband. There was a comment
that said so happy for UXX. I panicked. My lizard
brain came out in response to the abandonment trauma, and
I deleted the comment without even thinking about it. I
should have just left it and pretended it got lost
in the sea of comments, but my snap judgment brain
was like, nope, let's stir the spot because now she's
(47:56):
gonna see it's deleted. What do I do? I do nothing?
Do I pretend I didn't even see it? It was
one am and normal people would be sleeping. Do I
reach out? Do I wait for her to reach out
inevitably pissed? Do I give blatant honesty about why the
main profiles access is limited in the first place. Do
I even owe her the explanation. She has a tendency
(48:18):
to deliberately create distance, but then also react in a
really ugly way when she feels left out. For example,
it was a big deal when my grandpa, her ex husband, passed,
and she wasn't specifically named in the obituary. Can't do
much about that he's gone, so big drama from her ensued.
Then it really upset her that we all stayed close
with my grandpa's second wife, who I also call Grandma,
(48:41):
which I think is the catalyst that led to even
less contact than before. And I'm so on edge about
that type of drama being even in the realm of
possibility surrounding this pregnancy.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
And I think you have to keep as much peace
for this pregnancy. Yeah, cut it out completely.
Speaker 3 (48:58):
Yeah, just stop responding her information diant She's already not there.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
Yeah sure. Also she getting money off of these posts.
Speaker 3 (49:06):
Yeah, she's monetized. I was so careful about drawing quiet boundaries,
and now I feel like it's blowing up in my face.
Am I the agle? Am I overreacting?
Speaker 1 (49:16):
Help?
Speaker 3 (49:17):
And there is an update. But what do you think, dude?
Speaker 1 (49:20):
You know what you gotta do this? Grandma just wants
to be there virtually and not their physically. She'd made
her choice, she has and she continues to make it.
Just you know, people have consequences for their actions, and
sometimes your actions are the consequences of others.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
And her consequences are that she can't see your kid
anymore or you. Thank you everyone for your responses. So far.
I thought I was overreacting, but it is validating to
see that many feel similarly to me about boundaries with
toxic absent family members. About an hour after I posted this,
Grandma went back on to her main account and art
reacted to a couple of trivial posts I have made
(49:54):
over the last couple of weeks, including a silly meme
about cheese. I realized this was more than likely an
a time to get my attention, almost as if to say,
here's what I can see on one profile and here's
what I can see on the other. At this point,
I opted to do nothing unless she reaches out. If
she reaches out, I will be direct and honest about
the boundaries I've established and why If she doesn't then
(50:16):
I'm not gonna go out of my way to announce
them to her. Sometime between now and the birth, I
will also make a point to block the old profile.
Until then, I'm not gonna give any sort of attention
to her Internet antics unless she goes way out of line.
And that's the end of the story. Wow, dang, dang, dang.
I think that is the right move, Opie, and good
(50:38):
luck to Yeah, good luck I but that's also the
end of this episode.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
Up now, Opie, real quick, let us know how it goes.
And we want to see pictures of the baby.
Speaker 3 (50:46):
Oh yeah, this is one of her own. Let us know.
Speaker 1 (50:49):
So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 3 (50:51):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
This is John.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
We have some rocking stories for you coming up.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
But before you rock out with your socks out, I
got a quick tun minute ad break from a sponsors,
keeping the show rocking and rolling.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
My mother in law ruined my wedding.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
What else was she supposed to do?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
My fiance and I are getting married in two months.
As the wedding has been getting closer, my future mother
in law is showing signs of craziness I have never
seen before.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Because it was always about her.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Yeah. I have known my mother in law for over
five years now and have always loved her. By the way,
this comes from Proud Rooster fifteen fifty seven, and if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
rs slash Okay story Time Separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Riley,
and I'm Keon, and we'll try to give our best advice.
But we haven't experienced most of these situations ourselves, so
(00:50):
if you have, let us know what you would do
in the comments, and Op says a little backstory. My
fiance's parents were married twenty seven years and they ended
up getting divorced a couple of years ago due to
financial reasons. My future father in law remarried to a
wonderful lady who has trying to connect with me and
my fiance's brother's fiance.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Okay, reconnect me with my pull.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
A backup fiances so op's fiance's brother brothers fiance, so
basically girlfriends brother in law's girlfriend. There has been a
lot of drama recently due to my future mother in
law not being told the date of our wedding as
soon as we confirmed it. She found out from her
ex husband because my fiance was still living with him.
(01:34):
On the rehearsal dinner invitation card, I put it was
hosted by the groom's family. I wanted her to feel
included even though she isn't paying for it. She was
upset because no one told her about it or asked.
I think that's a fair thing to be upset for
her to be, like, no.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
One told me about the wedding, No one told me
about the wedding day, and no one told you that
you rehearsed. Yeah, so far, I see where the mother
will has come from.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Yeah, my fiance told her it was because of her
financial issues, and he didn't want it to be a
burden on her. I think you still should have told
her and then she could make that decision of whether
or not she could afford it. Yeah, you could even say, like, hey,
I know you've been having like I just want to
invite you because I care about you and I wish
you could come, But if you can't, I totally understand.
She visited our house and pulled me aside to say,
(02:20):
what are the seating arrangements going to be like for
the wedding? As long as you don't sit me next
to her talking about my father in law's new wife.
Also fair care. I mean, I don't know if you
needed to say that specifically.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
She probably said it differently too.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
She has voiced her opinion over several occasions about how
she wants it to be known she is the mother
of the groom and not my father in law's new wife.
A fair. I was so fair. She's probably saying he's
pretty nastily.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Though, Okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
She is constantly reminding everyone she will be civil at
our shower and wedding for the sake of her boys.
In my opinion, you don't announce you will be civil,
you just are. She has repeatedly sent text messages to
my fiance and his brother, as well as her ex husband,
talking about how she has received the bad end of
the stick in life, but she wants to do what's
(03:09):
best for her boys. Today, I received a text message
from her about a shirt a friend of hers daughter.
The shirt says mother of the groom with the letter
O in of as a diamond ring. Underneath it says
our wedding date. Underneath that, it says I left him first,
with the date of my fiance's birthday. Okay, cute, that's
a little weird. That one's a little weird.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
I'm sorry that one's.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
A little weird. I'd be like, Okay, I have spoken
to my mom about this and I'm genuinely lost for
what to do. I feel offended by the shirt, and
I also think it's supposed to be a jab at
my father in law's new wife as well. Oh yeah,
any advice please. And there are some comments. Dude, it
(03:53):
seems like she is just causing problems. She just wants
to be center of attention and cause little drama. You know.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
If this happened, yeah to me, my wife, my fiance
probably have the same reaction. I have now, Oh, really
she's causing problems. Oh I just was just something she'd like,
we don't have to listen to them all.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Yeah, I don't think I think that's I mean, I
do think that is the solutionion.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
It's just like, yeah, but if I heard all these things,
I'd probably be like, Okay, just don't sit her beside.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
The Yeah, I know that. I agree. It's like, obviously
she's causing problems, but I don't think there's you know,
she's not throwing things at people. She's just kind of
annoying like that one story. Yeah, so I think you
just say, okay, we won't sit her next to that person.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Skill out of one to ten, and how much of
a mother in law bridezilla she is being? Were like
a four?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Five she's being annoying.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
I'm yeah, I'm gonna say five right now.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
But I can see I can see it getting worse.
But right now, I'm like, okay, comment.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
What she's jealous and insecure, perhaps a mother in law bouncer.
If she can't behave herself at the w let them
deal with babysitting her. Opie says, way ahead of U, lol,
My wedding coordinator is such a girl's girl, and she
is ready at any given moment to throw hands. Reply
is the shirt to communicate something to mother in law's
ex husband and or new wife. Because I was reading
(05:15):
about the shirt and thought it was ammeshment like mother
in law being possessive of her son versus you, op
Opie says, See, I think that's the message that I'm
picking up on too. I think she got a two
for one deal because it's a jab at the new wife,
but also could be for me too because I'm the
one marrying him. Reply, Okay, yeah, I think it's the
(05:37):
wedding ring image and son's birthday that makes me lean
towards her son's marriage with you at it next day,
I actually can see this woman not intending to take
a shot at you, like if she was worked up
pushing back at everything and just got messy af So,
I have a mom who does not understand boundaries, and
my brothers have told me at times it feels like
(05:57):
she was trying to make them be not just her son,
but trying to make them feel her social and emotional needs.
Have you felt like she blurs the lines of what
a mom should expect of your partner, like, does she
want him to drop what he's doing and attend to
her or attend to her when she has big feelings
or crises? Opie says, hold on, hold on now. I
was not ready for that. So a while ago, when
(06:19):
she first moved out on her own again, she would
call him repeatedly to work on something in her house.
Sure it was things she absolutely needed and couldn't afford,
like a front porch. Hers was dry rotted and not safe.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
She asked her front porch.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
That's yeah, she needed that front porch. Then it got
to be mowing the grass or pulling up roots, et cetera,
et cetera. Finally she stopped doing that, but at one
point she was doing that. Common two says, is she
planning on wearing it to the versal dinner or the wedding?
If not, why did she text you a pick of
it looking for a reaction. I wouldn't give her one,
Opie says, I have no idea. I'm too afraid to
(06:56):
ask her when she plans on wearing it, because I
don't want it to seem like I'm inviting her to
wear that thing. I think she was looking for reaction.
My response back was just awe, which is not how
I usually respond. Common three says divorce mom of two
boys here. I really don't think you have to really
worry much over your mother in law. Just make sure
you give an extra little attention to her. She is
(07:18):
feeling very insecure because not only is her long term
marriage gone, father in law moved on, and now she's
losing her son. We raised daughters and have best friends
for life. We raised sons to be good husbands to
their wives, and the embarrassment of not being able to
financially support anything, She's probably really feeling like she's losing
(07:39):
everything all over again. That tiny bit of extra energy
will pay off immensely with way more rewards than you
can imagine for years to come. Opie says, I do
try my best to include her in things. I've asked
her to be in charge of picking the mother's son dance.
I'm finding some pictures that I would like her to
take with her son the day of the wedding, just
to make her feel like she's actually included. Unfortunately, the
(08:01):
list of things that Mogg does for the wedding is slim.
I am blessed that my parents are taking care of things.
I do disagree with the fact she's losing her son.
I have made it crystal clear she will always be
as mom and I will have no part in what
my fiance says to her. I know he respects me
and my decisions. Well, I do agree she's probably reliving
(08:23):
a lot of emotions with the wedding. This is not
the time for her to hash out her emotions, as
it's raining on the happiness I am supposed to feel.
She openly discusses things with me, and in my honest opinion,
I should be the last person she discusses things with.
I give her what I am capable of, and if
it's not enough for it's no longer my problem. And
there is a small update, folks.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah this is smart, giving her a little bit extra
at tension. Yeah, but I feel loved.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Just give her enough to keep her happy.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
You gotta realize she's going through transitional time in her
life and.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
She's being annoying. But it's not that I don't think
you can handle.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
She's not handling it the best. You just gotta juggle
with it, roll with the punches. I'm not honestly moving
her down there with three I realize where she's coming from.
I'm just gonna love on her some more.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
I think she's middle ground because she could go either way.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
I think this is just in law. Yeah, it seems
this is from what we've read before.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
That's middle of the road.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
To me. I give it a three because right now
I don't have to put love her a little bit
more and I don't have to physically do anything.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Actually, but there is a small update. Oh boy, we
had our couple's shower today. Mother in law and father
in law were very civil with each other, and she
met the new wife. Okay. See, she said she would
be civil, and she was. Everything was fine from what
I'm told for the shirt. The next day, after she
sent the pick of the shirt, I casually dropped a
comment saying, Hey, people have been asking about the attire
(09:48):
for the shower, and I've just been telling them something
you would typically wear for church or a nice dinner somewhere.
She responded back, okay, and today she walked in with
a very classy top and pants. No mother of the
groom shirts. Overall, it was very classy party and I'm
very happy there wasn't any drama.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
I just think she's hurt, expressing how she feels.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
That was it, and there is another update. I feel
like it. We still have more than half of the
story to go, so I do imagine it probably will
get worse.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I don't know why, but I feel like mother in
law is gonna be cool. Yeah, she's gonna be chill.
She's just hurt, she's expressing it. She's actually not gonna
do anything.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
She's okay, we'll find out.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
She's getting through this hard part of her life.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
I hope. So Update two. At the couple shower, everything
was fine until it got to the point of opening gifts.
No mother in law, my fiance, and I did not
intend on opening gifts in front of people. We just
wanted to celebrate everyone being together and open the gifts privately.
(10:53):
We started opening the gifts while everyone was conversing and mingling. However,
my future mother in law's mom and aunt decide why
did they were going to stand right next to us
the entire time. Well we opened gifts. They even started
dictating what gifts we open next. I have never in
my life seen some people act that way. What okay, okay,
(11:13):
that's the only one where I'm like people Every birthday
I've been people have been like, open my next, open
nine nights. That's like super common.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I was at a baby shower recently. They were helping
the couple pick out gifts because they're the one the puples,
the ones opening them. Yeah, everyone else could.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Everyone else gets to pick. That's how my family has
always done it. It's been like, okay, open to my next.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Usually at my last birthday party, I was just handed
gifts and I opened them nets.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Yeah, we all went, okay, Ley, take this one out.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Yeah, honestly, don't see a problem.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
I don't either, not quite yet.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
They even started dictating what gifts we open next. I
have never in my life seen people act that way.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
We've never been to a birthday party before or Christmas.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Yeah, so that says they shouldn't have been opening them
in public. Then wait, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
She says she didn't want to open them public, but
somehow it happened. I don't understand.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Yeah, they shouldn't if they didn't want to know, but
I feel like it's pretty common.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
I don't know. If I a gift, yeah, I would
want to see the ocean.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
I feel like that's like part of the you know,
fun of giving gifts.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Yeah, Alex got me a water cooling thing from my
Oh that's cool.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
I know it's a good gift.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Taking it to micro Center today.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
My future mother in law decided to make a comment
to my fiance's dad by saying, can you believe these
kids are getting married just a few days before we
got married. This comment was made in front of my
future father in law's knew why oh wait yeah, no,
wait no sorry, future mother in law does said this.
Can you believe these kids are getting married just a
few days before we got married? This comment was made
(12:41):
in front of my future father in law's new wife.
I have never wanted to crawl into a hole more
in my entire life.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
It splits her up to a five.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Yeah, I think just tell it a five. Fast forward
a little bit later, my fiance's brother and his fiance
booked a wedding venue and didn't tell anyone because it
really was not a huge deal. My future mother in
law was livid at the fact she was not included
in this information. She put my fiance and his brother
in a group chat and basically called his brother out
(13:09):
for not giving information, as well as us for not
filling her in on our wedding.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Details probably just fills left out.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Yeah. I decided right then there, between the awful shirt
and the way she was talking to my fiance, that
she wouldn't be joining me when it came to finding
a wedding dress and it would only be me and
my mom do Previously, she asked if she could come
along because she had never had any girls to get
this experience with. At first, I was very understanding and
wanted her to come with me. However, that completely changed things.
(13:39):
A month ago, my mom and I decided it was
time to find a wedding dress. He booked an appointment
at a shop and honestly didn't think we would find
the dress. You know. Of course, I did end up
finding my dress there, and I didn't tell anyone, including
future mother in law. I received a text two days
ago from my future mother in law asking if I
had found my wedding dress yet, and that the wedding
(14:00):
was coming up quick like I wasn't already aware, so
I flat out told her that I did find one.
She texted me yesterday asking if she could drop by
to give some things to my fiance while he was
at work, and I replied, back, shirt, she shows up
at my house with the things she wanted to give
to my fiance, and then we get to chatting. That
first it was innocent. Then she asks me, well, do
you have a picture of your dress? I told her
(14:22):
I do, but I was gonna let it be a
surprise for the wedding, which is literally two weeks away.
At this point, I said, the only people who know
what my dress looks like is my mom, dad, and grandmother,
who sadly can't make it to the wedding due to
health issues. She said she understood, and changed the subject
to the song her and my fiance's dad decided dance
to at their wedding Okay they are no longer married.
(14:45):
From the shower and dropping in appropriate comments in front
of my future father in law's new wife, to now
my wedding, she is basically wanting to reenact her wedding
at my wedding to get some sort of emotion out
of it.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
She's so lost.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
At this point, I told my fiance what happened, and
his exact words were, it's like she wants us to
reenact their wedding because she misses their marriage and I'm
not doing that. She then played me the song from
their wedding, which was atrocious, and I smiled and said, ah,
how sweet. Well, this is what me and my fiance
(15:17):
are doing. This was already settled a month ago, and
proceeded to play her a snippet of the song my
fiance and I will be dancing too. She smiled and
said it was sweet, and eventually she left. Then I
got a text from my fiance's brother's fiance saying our
future mother in law was going to her house, in
which I offered thoughts and prayers to her because she's
also planning a wedding. She texted me after a while
(15:38):
and said, I love the idea of you not showing
anyone your dress until the day off. I'm thinking of
doing that. I responded with, yeah, I want everyone to
be surprised. Typically, when something is bothering someone, especially women,
what is the first thing you do? You talk it
out with someone. If something doesn't bother you, what do
you do You don't talk about it with anyone because
(15:59):
it doesn't bother you that badly. So my future mother
in law proceeded to talk to my future sister in
law about the fact that I didn't show her my dress.
Because I wanted it to be a surprise. I know
she was livid about it because I know she wanted
to be there when I found my dress because that's
what she did with her ex's mom. I do not
feel like carrying that tradition because that's what she did. Okay,
(16:23):
I solely wanted my mom there and my mom alone
because she never got that experience with her mother. And
it was one of the best days ever. And there
is a third update. But do you have any other thoughts.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I don't know. This mother in law is just gonna
be pissed at whatever. At this point. She's finding things
to be creating problems.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Now, yeah, I do think you know, she probably is
upset that she doesn't get to take you to the
wedding dress shopping because you agreed, but you you know,
didn't want her there for very valid reasons, and it
ended up being a very nice moment for you and
your mom.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah. I was rooting for the mother in law in
this story. I was hoping mm she'd come around. She
was just hurt, she misses her marriage, but her actions
would be Okay, now she's letting some things slip. I
just think she needs a good group of friends to
hang out with.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Yeah, she needs that. Like all these things over father
in law.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Yeah, like literally all these things. And reasons why this
is happening is because she's having expectations of what she
thinks is gonna happen, and that's kind of what her
life's revolving around. She doesn't have anything outside of her life.
She's divorced. She's mourning that she's trying to be there
for her two sons that like, you know, financially she
can't be there, so she's trying to do her best physically,
and it seems like she's kind of missing some things.
(17:35):
I don't know. I'm still rooting for.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Rude are We're all rooting for you. But there is
an update. Now that the wedding and honeymoon are over,
I can finally give everyone an updates. They want some
popcorn and something stronger because it's gonna be a doozy.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
No.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
First things First, to the people who have previously commented
to give my mother in law a chance show us
apart for her be kinder to included more, you were
also wrong thing nor.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
No okay, okay, okay, look, look you can't blame me
for trying to want to help someone out.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Yeah, you were just thinking the best of her.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
I don't want to see a naffing comment about how
wrong I was because I didn't know the end of
the story. I don't want to see it.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
He doesn't want to see it.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
I'm ready, Wait, he's ready. Now.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
I know this woman better read anyone. Oh you said I'm.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Ready, I said, wait, I'm ready now.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Oh okay, Sorry. I know this woman better than anyone,
and I know her intentions were directed at me and
stepmother in law in a negative way. She proved that
during the whole weekend. To start the weekend before we
got married, my husband and I received a text and
a group message from mother in law saying, last week
for the single life. Then it's officially I do Oh
(18:49):
he's not single. I know she is from an older
generation where that was the phrase, but it still irked
me because what exactly have I been the past five
and a half years I've been with your son? Definitely
not single. Now it's Friday rehearsal dinner day when mother
in law arrives that morning, she sent my husband and
father in law a picture of her wearing the shirt
(19:11):
the one that says mother of the groom. I left
him first. I'm irritated, but I'm not about to let
it ruin anything. We all arrive at the venue for
the rehearsal and I was mingling with some family members
before it started. They finally show up and guess what
she's wearing. No, a white bassed dress with small pink flowers.
(19:34):
Not a white dress. Mother in law?
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Oh, mother, y guys, guys, it's cream.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
No, and have pink flowers on it.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
It's white based. It's like that you see her shirt.
It's white, it's white based. It's kind of cream. You
are a tin now, mother in law, Yeah, you have
a couple numbers graduated to a tin. That's the worst
absolute thing you can do at a wedding. Dead move horrible.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
I immediately walk away to my parents and do some
deep breathing because it's literally just the rehearsal and I
don't need to let her room my day. While I
was over there, the wedding coordinator was introducing herself to
my husband, and my mother in law inrupted their conversation
and said, I'm mother in law's name, I'm the mother
of Opie's husband, directly in front of stepmother in law
and father in law. My future sister in law informed
(20:21):
me of this after the fact. We've finished the rehearsal
and headed to the dinner where we are told we're
to sit. There weren't many places to sit anyways. While
we were at dinner, one of my bridesmaid's girlfriend arrives
and brings a bottle of champagne, which was not expected.
We finished dinner and decide at that moment to do
a champagne toast with the one bottle of champagne. Clearly
(20:43):
we only add enough for maybe half the people. Yeah,
I know it looks bad, but again it wasn't planned
until right then and there. We take pictures and wrap
up dinner and start saying our goodbyes to everyone, when
all of the sudden, mother in law pulls my husband
outside along with her too entourage. At the window and
see her bawling her eyes out will bear hugging him
(21:03):
and then immediately leaving. I look around, thinking, oh, what
in the actual heck is her problem. It was a
little rude to take him outside, but to only hug
him and not even say bye to me very rude.
I found out later she was upset because she wasn't
asked to participate in the champagne toast. No one asked
to be in the toast. We were blindly handing out
(21:24):
glasses to everyone. I couldn't tell you who got a
glass and who didn't. She was also upset we sat
where we did. However, she was the first one to
arrive for the dinner and choose her spot.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
See all these little things I think she's trying to
point out and be upset about.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Yeah, she's just making up things to be upset about.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
At this point, she was actually there for her son. Dude,
that was awesome. That was an awesome champagne toast. I'm
so glad like you guys sat there. You guys look
great together. You guys are doing great. Blah blah blah
blah blah.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
But no, she took the annoying way well, wearing her
white based dress. Yeah tisk tists.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Cream, you can go to hell. Why based.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
It?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Now, let's get into my favorite part of the whole
weekend wedding day. Everything was fine the morning up, got
ready with my girls, took pictures the whole nine yards.
We arrived at the venue to start taking more pictures
and mother in law has not even arrived yet. My
husband and I did a first look and everything, and
she didn't even show up for that. She was given
(22:28):
a time to arrive and she was late. We had
to wait on her to take family pictures. And when
she arrived, y'all, when she arrived, she was wearing the
purest white bassed dress with pink flowers on it.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Oh she changed it. My god, she made it more white.
Speaker 4 (22:46):
She made it more white, she made it more I
told you the original one was cream.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
My bridesmaids immediately came up to me and walked me
away from the situation, which was good on them. After
I calmed down, we went back to get her for pictures,
and I was as nice as I could possibly be
during that time. I managed to avoid her during the
rest of the time before the ceremony and let her
mingle with my family. The ceremony starts, and it's beautiful.
Then I see my husband walking mother in law down
(23:13):
the aisle, y'all. I find out later when he led
her to her seat, she tried to kiss him on
the mouth. The rest of the ceremony was wait what
her son?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
What?
Speaker 3 (23:23):
No husband? Sorry?
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
I'm so crazy. She tried to kiss her ex husband.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
She's going through it right now, she's relapsing, whatever's happening.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
The rest of the ceremony was fine, and cocktail hour begins.
We walked down the beach for more wedding pictures and
it's now time for the entrance to the reception. My
husband is nowhere to be found. Turns out mother in
law and her two entourage were holding him back to
have a conversation with him about what. I don't know.
At this point, my brother is running down the beach
(23:53):
to get him back for our entrance. I was furious
at this point, not necessarily at him, but a little
bit because we were on a time crunch. We finally
get to the reception and it was great. Our first
dance was great. The father daughter dance brought everyone to tears,
and ironically, once the mother son dance started, everyone kind
of started drinking and was ready to party. During the reception,
(24:16):
I needed just a little break from dancing and my
husband's grandmother comes up to me and starts showing me
pictures of mother in law and father in law's wedding
from thirty years ago. I looked at her and said
I need to go dance with my husband and walked
away so vast to the bar. The rest of the
night was beautiful and we had an amazing time. Some
(24:36):
of the people from the wedding came back to the
house we were staying in to keep partying, and my
future sister in law was one of them. We were
basically yelling with each other about mother in law's action,
and apparently mother in law said some things to future
sister in law like, hey, future sister in law, remember me,
I'm mother in law. Hello, leave me alone. Mother in
(24:57):
law just very obnoxiously because my future sister in law
hadn't had the chance to speak to her yet. We
all go to bed and wake up happily married and
start to pack for her honeymoon.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Yay, okay, we got there so acting kind of crazy. Yeah,
white dress over the top, but no cake was fallen.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Yeah. No, didn't have to drag her out.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Didn't have to drag her out, No words.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
Yeah, my husband gets a text for mother in law
saying have fun in Jamaica since I'll never get the
chance to go. He responded with a very quick okay,
And we didn't speak to her for an entire week,
which was amazing. But there is a little bit left
to the story. Any final thoughts.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
At first, A few things. At first, I was rooting
for the mother in law. She wore cream than white based. Yeah,
she left. I want to apologize to Keion for telling
him to go to at double hockey six. Sorry. I
was in the heat of the moment and I actually
feel bad about that name. Asking for your forgiveness gets
me on the lips first, Okay.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
All right, I guess you never get in that forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Then I'm gonna give it to him nastually.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Okay, there is a little bit left to this story.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
It's just sorry, real quick.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
I just I had hope that she would be better
than this.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
She want to wear wine, dude, just don't. Why is
it so hard just don't wear white to a wedding.
I didn't even wear a white shirt to a wedding
because I was afraid that it would be too much,
or wear a blue one.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
I think that men can wear white shirts.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
You wear told me that that is such a sexist
world we live in. Men can wear white shirts, but
women can't wear white dresses. This is crazy. I'm done.
I can't the attire of weddings just confuse me all around.
Can you wear a hat? A man can wear a hat,
but a woman can't.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
No Ah, nobody can wear hats.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
Do you want to wear a bra?
Speaker 3 (26:52):
What about?
Speaker 4 (26:54):
Do you want to wear a bra?
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Anyway you thought about that? But what about a NewsCap hat?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Sure, my dad, I let you wear a news cap.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
I don't want to wear it. I'm not old enough
to wear one of those.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
So for those who once again think I'm the bad
person here for not giving her a chance, I tried to.
After many attempts at trying to help her find a
dress to wear or de escalate certain situations, She'll make
herself the victim. She purposely wore white based dresses to
both events on purpose and one hundred percent war that
(27:23):
shir to send to my husband and father in law
to make sure they knew she was going to get
some kind of attention. I have spoken to her since
the wedding, and it has been very brief. We haven't
spoken about the wedding yet, and I don't know that
we will for the future babies if we decide to.
My husband and I are on the same page when
it comes to her. There are boundaries we are both
(27:44):
seeing for when that time comes, and we will absolutely
not tolerate her crap. And that is the end of
that story. Folks, All right, yikes there, Yeah, don't tolerate it.
She's clearly causing problems. Yeah, we hope she wasn't going,
but she did. She did, and she disrespected what you
were trying to do. And you know, yeah, gave her
(28:07):
chances in the first half.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
She got us. She she got Riley, for sure, she
short did.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
But that's the end of that story. And we've got
another one coming right up.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
My mother criticizes my parents inc well.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Maybe you should try it if you're so good.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
I am a thirty three female living in the UK.
My mother is sixty seven female. We are extremely close
up until a couple of weeks ago. I have two sons,
three and one, and my mother and father watched them
for me when I'm at work. When I'm not at work,
I spend or should say I spent a lot of
my time at my parents' house doing things with my mother.
(28:43):
By the ways, comes from Annoy Damas And if you
want some of your own stories, go to the r
slash ok stories. I'm suffered where this one's submitted, it's
one of our own babies. I'm Riley, I'm Sophia, and
I'm Keon, and we'll try to give her best advice.
But we have not experienced most of these situations ourselves,
so if you have, let us know your take in
the comments are okay. Op says, it's important to note
(29:06):
that my mother and I have very different views on parenting.
I believe in treating children with the same respect you
would an adult, and allowing children to express their feelings.
My older son can get physical when he's upset, and
being tired or hungry can exacerbate his emotions. I have
been working really hard with him on this. We try
(29:28):
to work with Sophia on this. I take him for
time outs and I talked to him about other strategies
to use and we practice them together.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
We should do that with Sophia.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
We really should. If you go to the quarter for
a second, I have a right, Sophia, that's enough.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
That's enough.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Maybe you should eat more food before you come on
the stream.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
I was vacuuming the entire house.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Please don't hit me.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
Sounds like it sounds I should have time to eat.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
You're becoming very hormonal right now.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Oh no, don't say that.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Calm down.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
He's a woman doctor.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I know what words to prescribe to her.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
How's your boyfriend?
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Did you get one?
Speaker 4 (30:06):
Works every time?
Speaker 1 (30:07):
No, it's gonna be six months until it actually works out. Y,
it works every time.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
Whatever. She's in a grumpy state or mind mindset. How's
your boyfriend? And she just looks like that.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
She's not even hungry anymore. Yeah, she's like, what's who
you're thinking about? That?
Speaker 3 (30:23):
Meat?
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Slie ew grow ew.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
That's great?
Speaker 4 (30:29):
So how's your boyfriend?
Speaker 1 (30:35):
So beautiful? Anyway, Hey, calm down, I've come. I take
him for timeouts, and I talked to him about other
strategies to use. He's three, so he doesn't use the
strategies often or on his own.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Sometimes he's three so he doesn't quite understand the strategies
that we're trying to use.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Sometimes he screams and cries and it takes a while
for him to calm down. I usually take him to
her room and stay with him until he calms down
and we can talk about what happened. I let him
cry until he's ready. Sometimes it takes ten to twenty minutes.
We have gone to the point where he can take
deep breaths once he starts to calm down, and his
tantrums have produced in time and frequency. It all started
(31:14):
on my younger son's birthday a couple of weeks ago.
My mother, myself, and my boys went out all to
eat together and went for a walk afterwards. We were
planning on going back to her house so the boys
can nap and we could play games. My youngest will nap,
but my oldest has recently been growing out of naps.
We will have nap one day and not the next.
(31:36):
When he does nap, we won't go to sleep until
nine or later, and it'll be rough. He will act
up when he gets tired, hitting, kicking, or throwing tantrums,
all normal toddler behavior. This has created a problem between
my mother and me because she doesn't agree with how
I handle his behavior. I've done a lot of research
on parenting, and I believe that children should be allowed
(31:58):
to have their feelings refused to scare a child into
not expressing them. We had talked about it previously and
decided that I would step in and handle behaviors so
she didn't have to On this particular day, I knew
he wouldn't want to nap, so I asked mom to
drive him around in my car while I put my
youngest down. She did for about ten minutes and he
(32:20):
fell asleep. When I went to transfer him to a bed,
he woke up. He was very upset and did not
want to nap. I told him we were going to
lay down together for a few minutes and then we
could get up. He did not want an app anymore,
so he started crying and screaming. I tried to stay calm.
I knew it would pass when he was ready. I
sat on the bed and told him that I was
(32:42):
going to rest. My mom came in and tried to
get him to calm down, which did not work. He
needs time to get it all out, as we all do. Sometimes.
She left but stayed by the door. He opened the
door and she came in and picked him up. She
laid him on the bed and started talking to him
in a very angry tone, saying, you better not wake
up your brother. In my opinion, his brother is not
(33:05):
his responsibility and he wasn't in a place to understand
where she was coming from. That's when I picked him
up and told her I had hit handled. She promptly
responded to you, and I was taken a bit aback,
so I clapped back with, well, what you're doing is
really helping. Then she said this was happening way too
often and it needed to stop.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
Is like a three year old having some tantrums.
Speaker 4 (33:27):
You need a three year old?
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Have you ever, mother? Did you forget about when your
child was a three year old?
Speaker 1 (33:33):
I hate it when other people are trying to parent
your own kids and it's like, dude, just yea, let
me figure this one out.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Okay, yeah, man, unless they're like hitting your kid or
you know, hitting you something where it's like you're not
parenting your child and someone's getting hurt or something like that.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Yeah, come on there, involved Hey, it's Sean here.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick
three minute break with asermar sponsors.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
I'm assuming she was referring to my child feelings, like
his feelings were too much and she wanted them to stop.
I told her we'd leave, and we did. Later that day,
I texted her and apologized for escalating the situation and
told her we would take a break from coming over
to her house. I also offered to answer any questions
she had about my reasoning behind the way I parented.
(34:18):
She responded saying that parenting was hard, and even she
questioned her own parenting. I felt like she had been
judging me the entire time we'd been hanging out, and
she didn't just have a conversation with me about it.
The next day, I did get an apology text where
she admitted that she had overstepped Oh night.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
Okay, improvement nice. I like this, Yeah, this is good.
This is good.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
I told her. I appreciated the apology. My mom has
always been terrible at apologies. They usually start with I'm
sorry you feel that way, So for her not to
say that made me think her apology was genuine. Fast
forward a week, and I'm still upset. I can't quite
figure out why, though. I had talked to my sister
about the situation, and she said she had to stop
(35:03):
hanging out with my mom when her kids were toddlers.
She also said my mom brought it up to her
and said, I told them my boys have to follow
my mom's rules at her house, but I don't make them.
Even my sister said it didn't sound like a rule thing.
I had my son's one year appointment and took both
my boys as my husband was sick. My old us
(35:25):
threw a tantrum while we were there. After the appointment,
our pretty teachian told me she was impressed with how
well I handled both my boys and how calm I stayed.
I told this to my mom and I said it
was nice considering she doesn't agree with how I do things,
and she said, we can agree to disagree. Okay, cool.
(35:46):
I may have been rubbing it in a bit, but
it's also hard to feel like you're doing the right
thing when your mother is telling you you're not. We
went for a walk together to the next day, but
I didn't bring it up. The same weekend, my mother
in law came to visit. I really off my mother
in law. We get along great and she's very sweet.
We were at a family gathering when I spotted my
(36:06):
mom telling my mother in law story. My mother in
law was looking straight at me, and then my mom
pointed at me and continued telling the story. I love
when people do that. What like they're like looking at
you and they're talking. Don't look at that person. Yeah,
Like Kean the other day, he was like really acting
weird and don't tell him that.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
Though I'm always acting weird.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
Yeah, that's strange.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
It's like when none of y'all realized it was jelly Roll.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
I don't even know who jelly Roll is.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
I know.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Too, I was like, oh.
Speaker 4 (36:37):
Shoot, and I just left the room colling person.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Yeah, they all are.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
Everyone's tall, not I. No tall to you, Keon dang Man.
Speaker 4 (36:48):
No, that's okay.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
Oh whoa, he's gentle parenting, you know. Oh no, talk
it out. I can't.
Speaker 4 (36:53):
I can't change my height.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
You can't. And I love that about you.
Speaker 4 (36:57):
That's why I got good charisma, that's.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Right, and a great person.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
Eleven year olds have a crush two even year.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
Olds, but those one, no, it's two.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Oh, they're multiplying. At the end, my mother said enough
is enough, and my mother in law politely agreed and
they stopped talking. I was pretty sure I knew what
she was talking about. I didn't mention anything to my
mother in law about the fight between my mother and me,
because why would I. Sylvia, what do you think they're
talking about here?
Speaker 3 (37:26):
I think that you gotta set more boundaries with your
mom and say, hey, mom, I you know I know
that you're trying to be helpful, but this is my child.
So if you can't, if you can't listen to our boundaries,
then you can't be around the kids.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Yeah. Information diet, Yeah, hanging out diet. I think that's smart. Like, hey,
we're not going to come around for a little bit.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
Yeah, you clearly don't like having my kids over.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
So yeah, yeah you think his emotions are too much.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Yeah, I'll just stop. I'll just not bring my kid over.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
Hop on the band and we got Carly getting on
the on for not getting me so soup.
Speaker 3 (38:01):
Dude, I want me so soup so much, Carly, I
want me so soup.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
Then why don't you date her and take her?
Speaker 3 (38:08):
Yeah, let's go get me so soup.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
You can take her.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Then you get danger, Well, I want me so soup.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
No you haven't actually, so the end the story. The
next morning, I decided to ask my mother in law
about the story Mama was telling her. She said she
couldn't remember, and I gave her the details I heard
and saw. She said she couldn't remember. Then I asked
her it was about my son. She said no. I
didn't ask if she really didn't remember or if she
(38:35):
was just trying not to get in the middle of it.
She stayed quiet, which gave me my answer. Now I'm
not sure what to do. My mother seems like she
doesn't want to talk about things, which is very normal
for her. But I can't get over things until I've
talked about them. I'm currently being polite to her when
she reaches out, but I have no intention of hanging
out with her. She does watch my boys for me
twice a week, but my husband drops them off and
(38:57):
picks them up, so I will not see her on
nless it's arranged. Advice. Please, we have some comments. What
are our comments here?
Speaker 3 (39:06):
What are your comments? I've already said my comments. I've
already said my comments. I don't have anything else to say.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Seems like the ball is in your mom's court. If
you're okay with not talking to her, don't talk to
her until she's ready. If you really want to talk
to her, spike the bullet, reach out.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
We talk.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
I don't like you know, Let's have it all out.
Talk to me like an a hole? Okay, what do
you not like about my parenting?
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Saw?
Speaker 1 (39:28):
What do you not what do you not see? An op?
I know you know what's happening. And I know you're
you're able to confirm with all your researcher you have
of why you're doing the things that you're doing, and
she might just think of it like an old traditional style, like, oh,
this is how things should be old, how this that was?
If you and she's probably afraid to see some reasoning there,
package it up and send it to her.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
Yeah, just have it out. I think you could have
a comment, you could have a conversation. But yeah, she
definitely is me and little Anning.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
I tried to limit my grandmother's access to my life,
but it back fired.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
Seems like she did one information diet.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
And this comes directly from the r slash. Okay, storytime
subpard it. Oh, this is likely going to be a
long one, but I'll try to keep it as concise
as possible. I thirty three female, and my husband, thirty
five male, are expecting our second child.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
Ye children, Yay.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
It's been a long road to get here, but today
I might have f'd up. Uh oh am I the
ale and what do I do now? By the way,
this comes from Last Faithfulness four three four And if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slash okay, storytime subpred it.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
I'm Sophia, I'm Riley.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
And I'm key On. And guys, they posted our photo
from iHeart on e News sick. I'm gonna.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Oh shit, we look really cute.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
Send me a picture. The group ut. And we haven't
been through all of these situations ourselves. We only know
what we'd do, So let us know what you would
do in the comments, so Op says, in order to
give you the full context of the story, I have
to back up a few years. Growing up, my grandmother,
seventy something female, was pretty involved in my childhood as
(41:09):
far as I can remember. As I got older, I
started to notice her animosity towards her ex husband, my
grandfather and his wife, who I also call my grandma.
They had been divorced since before I was born, and
my grandpa remarried when I was maybe four or five,
so I found this strange. As time had gone on,
my grandmother has become increasingly distant from the entire family.
(41:31):
It started small, by claiming to be sick on days
of events like birthday parties for my younger cousins and
raging alternate times to see them. More recently, it got
to a point where she's been skipping bigger events like
weddings and graduations, and the family would genuinely be surprised
to see her, even though she's always invited. What is
especially strange is that this family is incredibly tight knit,
(41:53):
and she is slowly backed away like Homer Simpson backing
through the bushes. This distance has also expanded to her
amount of confer with the family. She often won't return
calls or messages, and she is rarely the first to
reach out. When she does reach out, if you respond,
you typically don't get a response back. It's like she'll
go through the motions to send a text on a
special occasion, but doesn't want the effort of a conversation
(42:16):
or real connection.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
So kind of wants to be your grandma. Yeah, She's like,
I just want the title. And she seems like she's doing, like, legit,
the bare minimum to keep it. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
The one thing she will do is Facebook. Yeah, because
that's just easy and fine, and she gets the public acknowledgment.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
That she's a granted, and there's so many fun games
on Facebook, but not in a.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
Stage, genuinely connected sort of way, more like a look
at me, I'm such in a mathing gramma kind of way,
very performative, with no real connection. She will heart react,
leave gift comments with no words, and take your pictures
to post on her own page. My son is currently
her cover photo. She also posts about when I was
in labor but couldn't be bothered to respond to a
message I had sent you while I was laboring in
(43:01):
a hospital. Thankfully, she took that post down at my
mom's request. Speaking of my son, she met him once
when he was a newborn. He's about to turn three.
Her visit was unannounced and quite frankly, very awkward. The
one thing I remember was her being passive aggressive about
my newborn baby using a pacifier.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
Oh well, seems like I can't feed right now? What
else am I supposed to do?
Speaker 3 (43:24):
Why A's so upset about the bestwyer? She yelled him
and said, oh his name. You don't need that, that's yucks.
He probably does need that because he's a baby.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Let the baby be.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
I remember thinking you never come around, couldn't even be
bothered to send a card for the baby shower. But
now you're criticizing my parenting. That's yucks. Ever since that
visit almost three years ago, my grandmother has continued even
less contact than before. She has never once reached out
to ask how my son is doing. She sends her
performative Happy Birthday or Merry Christmas text about how much
(43:59):
she met the thoth is proud of us, YadA, YadA, YadA,
but the second you respond and try to start a conversation, crickets.
She also went from living in the same city as
my uncles and younger cousins to moving out of state. Meanwhile,
she's doing the most on Facebook caart, reacting every single post,
making her gift comments, and stealing the pictures she wants
(44:19):
to share for her own audience, who is blissfully unaware
of her absence.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
In some ways, this means more than actually being there.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
Yeah, in some ways this is actually so much better.
And I don't think you realize that'llp you.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Get the presence of a grandma online and not in
real life. I think you don't understand what you have here. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
Sometimes this is done with her profile. Sometimes this is
done on her boyfriend's profile. There was also a second
profile of hers that I had deleted because I was
certain it was inactive. This will be important later on.
One of the pictures she shared of my child. Her
boyfriend commented, saying, you're suching, amazing great Graham. I'm sorry, sorry,
but my child doesn't even know who either of them are,
(45:03):
which is by her doing. He's not going to remember
a visit from when he was a newborn. This has
me feeling like her social media is nothing but performative
and she no longer has any real desire for connection.
To make it really clear, I went through my phone
recently to try to find the last time she and
I had a real conversation. We haven't had a phone
call in years, and the last time she reached out
(45:24):
to me was a year and a half ago. She
wished me a happy New Year. I tried to engage
her in conversation and she never responded. She also never
responded to a happy Birthday message I sent her later
in the year. What And as Porky pig One said,
that's all, folks, that's how does he do it? That's
(45:51):
all folks.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Hey, it's Sam.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
We're gonna get back to these stories.
Speaker 4 (45:54):
But here's three of us ads from our sponsors that
keep the show alive.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Fast forward. Yesterday we had our first I have struggled
with infertility and early miscarriages in the past, so I
kept our news pretty quiet until we had confirmation that
baby was healthy and viable. Few things the doctor wants
to keep an eye on this time around due to
the complications with the pregnancy and birth of our son,
but nothing alarming at all. We got some ultrasound pictures
(46:19):
to take home and we're happy as can be. When
I got home, some anxiety came about making an announcement.
I was excited to share our news, but I didn't
want my grandmother's performative energy interfering. I decided, after a
lot of consideration, to limit her and her boyfriend from
seeing the posts. Yeah, they just reposted, and they're like,
(46:40):
I'm so happy that I have another grandchild that I'm
gonna see every day.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Her likes are about to look slim because of that
information diet you're getting there, Mm hmm. That and that's
what's up. So true.
Speaker 3 (46:54):
I had already been living them from the other posts
that felt more personal. It has helped me protect my
peace with the situation lately. With support from my family,
I drafted the post, created a couple cute images, tagged
my husband, and posted the comments and support came rolling
in from extended family, friends, and coworkers. I went to sleep,
feeling relieved that we were able to finally share this
(47:15):
news with the people who are present in our lives.
At one am, first trimester insomnia came like clockwork. I
checked my phone because what else do you do at
one am? And my heart sank. Remember that inactive second
profile I mentioned earlier, the one I deleted from my
friend's list, assuming it was a passed away profile. Well
it was wrong. Not only is it active, but it
(47:36):
is apparently friends with my husband. There was a comment
that said so happy for UXX. I panicked. My lizard
brain came out in response to the abandonment trauma, and
I deleted the comment without even thinking about it. I
should have just left it and pretended it got lost
in the sea of comments, but my snap judgment brain
was like, nope, let's stir the spot because now she's
(47:56):
gonna see it's deleted. What do I do? I do nothing?
Do I pretend I didn't even see it? It was
one am and normal people would be sleeping. Do I
reach out? Do I wait for her to reach out
inevitably pissed? Do I give blatant honesty about why the
main profiles access is limited in the first place. Do
I even owe her the explanation. She has a tendency
(48:18):
to deliberately create distance, but then also react in a
really ugly way when she feels left out. For example,
it was a big deal when my grandpa, her ex husband, passed,
and she wasn't specifically named in the obituary. Can't do
much about that he's gone, so big drama from her ensued.
Then it really upset her that we all stayed close
with my grandpa's second wife, who I also call Grandma,
(48:41):
which I think is the catalyst that led to even
less contact than before. And I'm so on edge about
that type of drama being even in the realm of
possibility surrounding this pregnancy.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
And I think you have to keep as much peace
for this pregnancy. Yeah, cut it out completely.
Speaker 3 (48:58):
Yeah, just stop responding her information diant She's already not there.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
Yeah sure. Also she getting money off of these posts.
Speaker 3 (49:06):
Yeah, she's monetized. I was so careful about drawing quiet boundaries,
and now I feel like it's blowing up in my face.
Am I the agle? Am I overreacting?
Speaker 1 (49:16):
Help?
Speaker 3 (49:17):
And there is an update. But what do you think, dude?
Speaker 1 (49:20):
You know what you gotta do this? Grandma just wants
to be there virtually and not their physically. She'd made
her choice, she has and she continues to make it.
Just you know, people have consequences for their actions, and
sometimes your actions are the consequences of others.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
And her consequences are that she can't see your kid
anymore or you. Thank you everyone for your responses. So far.
I thought I was overreacting, but it is validating to
see that many feel similarly to me about boundaries with
toxic absent family members. About an hour after I posted this,
Grandma went back on to her main account and art
reacted to a couple of trivial posts I have made
(49:54):
over the last couple of weeks, including a silly meme
about cheese. I realized this was more than likely an
a time to get my attention, almost as if to say,
here's what I can see on one profile and here's
what I can see on the other. At this point,
I opted to do nothing unless she reaches out. If
she reaches out, I will be direct and honest about
the boundaries I've established and why If she doesn't then
(50:16):
I'm not gonna go out of my way to announce
them to her. Sometime between now and the birth, I
will also make a point to block the old profile.
Until then, I'm not gonna give any sort of attention
to her Internet antics unless she goes way out of line.
And that's the end of the story. Wow, dang, dang, dang.
I think that is the right move, Opie, and good
(50:38):
luck to Yeah, good luck I but that's also the
end of this episode.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
Up now, Opie, real quick, let us know how it goes.
And we want to see pictures of the baby.
Speaker 3 (50:46):
Oh yeah, this is one of her own. Let us know.
Speaker 1 (50:49):
So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 3 (50:51):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
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