My mother-in-law said I'd RUIN her son's life... so I banned her from our wedding! -r/okstorytime | Reddit Stories | EP2338 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient
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Speaker 2 (00:17):
My mother in law said I'd ruin her son's life,
so I banned her from our wedding.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
Ah, I'm gonna ruin his life.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
My husband, thirty six male, and I thirty three female,
have known each other since we were teens, but our
lives went separate ways until about three years ago when
I met my husband again. His mother, my mother in law,
was living with him. I didn't see an issue with this,
as it's not like he was living with her and
I could clearly tell he wasn't a mama's boy. In fact,

(00:46):
he disagreed with his mother quite often, but was always
good about holding his tongue.

Speaker 4 (00:50):
And keeping the peace.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
By the way, this comes from Safe University eighty three
twenty three and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the rslage Okay Storytime subreddit I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota.

Speaker 5 (01:00):
I'm Carly.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
We are here to give good advice, goofy, but we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,
So let us know what you would do in the comments.
About three months into us seeing each other, my husband
and his mother got into an argument. She insisted he
built a privacy fence in his front yard because the
local troublemakers across the street made her uncomfortable. He refused,

(01:22):
as not only is it not permitted where we lived
to do so, but because it was tacky and ridiculous.
This caused a huge fight, in which he told her
she had to go, and she promptly moved her things
out oddly enough, though they were fine the next day,
and he helped her move her belongings back in. Fast
forward about six months later, It's Easter twenty twenty four.
She had us come over to help move things she

(01:43):
moved again to her second place, since my husband's house.
While we were there, she asked to give my stepdaughter,
five years old at the time, her Easter basket she
had made her. She made all of her grandchildren one
that year. I myself have three children, of my own
thirteen male, twelve female, and eight male. All all four
children were with us. While we were helping her move.
My husband asked her if she had made anything for

(02:05):
my children, to which she responded no, she didn't think
about them. I told her it was fine, they were
really too old for Easter baskets anyway. She apologized and
insisted my kids pick out an Easter basket and she'd
just make more for the other grandchildren. So my kids
picked a basket and we went about our night. Remember
this for later. Since my mother in law couldn't afford much,
she was moving into small apartments and this last place

(02:27):
was a room in a mansion some guy owns and
rents the rooms out. She had asked us if she
could store some things at our house that she just
didn't want to get rid of but didn't have the
space for. My husband had just moved into my home
not long before this. I owned a house in the
country on five acres. My children and I were already
trying to adjust to having him and my stepdaughter in
our space along with their belongings, but I agreed to

(02:50):
let her store her things until she was able to
find other storage options.

Speaker 4 (02:55):
I gave her six months.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
At this time, my husband and I had just gotten
engaged and my storage in my garage was being prepared
to be used for a wedding prep and towards a
six month mark, I started asking my husband to speak
with his mother about her things, as I was running
out of space to store wedding things. He agreed, and
did message her periodically about it. She'd always say she'd
come over and wouldn't, or my favorite, she's scared of

(03:19):
my dog. I told her I'd keep him locked in
his kennel the entire time. So finally I reached out
to my mother in law and asked if she'd like
me to help her get the items posted on Facebook
marketplace and sell them since she clearly had gone this
long without the items. She agreed, and I told her
she was welcome to come out and help me price
items and go through everything. She always had an excuse

(03:40):
for not coming out. One day, I messaged her and
told her I'd price the items and get them placed
online for her.

Speaker 4 (03:46):
She agreed.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
I started going through items, and honestly, most of it
was items that required a specific buyer for Big Bucks,
crystal ware, decorative plates, de core et cetera. The furniture
was pretty much junk and except for one decent chest
of drawers and a decorative dessert cart. I began to
list the items to sell. Things began to sell, but
then we got a call from my mother in law.

(04:09):
She was not happy with the pricing. She didn't have
a Facebook, but my husband's youngest sister was telling their
mother what I was listing things for. Well, yes, I
was pricing things low. It was not unreasonable for the circumstances.
I had given her six months and it had been
eight months at this point. I gave her the option
to help me price things, and I wanted this stuff
out of my storage. I told her things were already sold,

(04:31):
that she wanted the prices changed on and if she
wanted those higher price tacts, she should have come.

Speaker 4 (04:36):
Gotten her stuff or help me.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
I explained to her that the majority of what she
had required the right buyer to get the money she
was asking for. I was not there to be her
personal eBay, and I didn't have time and needed this
space for our wedding. We found out a few days
later that the place she lives has a storage shed
in the backyard for each room and resident in the mansion.
So she had somewhere this whole time for her stuff.

Speaker 4 (04:58):
Where does she live?

Speaker 3 (04:59):
What is this mysterious?

Speaker 4 (05:01):
What do you mean she lives in a mansion?

Speaker 3 (05:03):
Is it haunted?

Speaker 6 (05:04):
You know? What? Does she live with?

Speaker 3 (05:06):
Eddie Murphy?

Speaker 4 (05:06):
No, she lives with Professor X. Is that what's his name?
The X Men mansion?

Speaker 6 (05:11):
Oh, Charles Xavier?

Speaker 7 (05:13):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (05:13):
Yeah, Okay, you made me think I was wrong. I
was not.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
I mean, I guess Professor X.

Speaker 5 (05:18):
Yeah, yeah, he's official.

Speaker 3 (05:20):
But you made me think of Chemical X from the
Powerpuff Girls, So I was like, that's not the name
of the god.

Speaker 4 (05:27):
No, I was thinking she lives in the X Men mentioned,
and she's like, yeah, I have some really weird roommates.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Nothing else much was said, and she got what little
money was made from what would sell, and the rest
went to the dump. This was all in late August
twenty twenty four. Thanksgiving twenty twenty four rolls around and
it's mine and my kid's first Thanksgiving with my husband's
whole family. My mother in law wanted a picture of
all of her grandchildren, since they were all finally in
one place at one time. My husband asked if we

(05:54):
could get a second photo that included my three children
as well as for him. She scoffed, and, needless to say,
no pictures were taken. Later that night, my husband received
a text from my mother in law. He wouldn't tell
me what it said. He just said that she was
no longer invited to the wedding and that he would
have no.

Speaker 4 (06:11):
Contact with her.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
Whoo that escalated.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
I was baffled, but trusted my husband. If it was
something he didn't even want to share with me, I
knew it had to have been bad. As the days
went by, I couldn't stop thinking about what that text
could have said to make my husband completely uninvited her
from our wedding and cut all contact.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
I have an idea, I have maybe an idea. I
bet she'd had something to do with you and your kids.

Speaker 4 (06:36):
I think so, and he.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
Said poof goodbye.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Well, she was honestly a ball of hatred and over
stimulated nerves.

Speaker 4 (06:45):
It was still his mother.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
I finally sat my husband down and asked to read
her message. He agreed to let me, but warned me
prior to doing so that it was nasty and not
to let any of it get to me. After reading
the message. I set his phone down and looked at him.
I told him I appreciated for sticking up for not
only me but my kids, and I fully backed him
if you chose no contact with her. In her message,

(07:09):
she told him that I would ruin his life and
be the biggest mistake of his life. I was horrible
and he'd regret it, something along the lines of my
kids being horrible children. She hardly interacted with my kids ever,
and that she'd never consider them her grandkids.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
Well, problem, they'll never consider you their grandma because you're
not gonna be around.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
She didn't want them in the Thanksgiving photo and that
just ruined our Thanksgiving. She also mentioned how my children
and I ruined Easter for her too, because she shouldn't
have to make things for my kids since they aren't
her grandkids.

Speaker 4 (07:44):
And never would be.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
I can see maybe why she'd be upset with me
over her stuff in my storage, but my kids, they're kids.

Speaker 5 (07:52):
They literally have never done anything.

Speaker 4 (07:53):
To her though.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
After I read the text message my mother in law
sent my husband after Thanksgiving, my husband and I had
a conversation about his relationship with his mother. Basically, her
behavior was nothing new to him or his family. She
has had issues with my sister in law's significant others
and brother in law's significant others. It's not the first
time one of her children have cut her off due

(08:17):
to her behavior, uncalled for statements, wild hatred for almost
everything and everyone, unsolicited advice, and just pure lack of tact. However,
it hit him different this time, he said, and was
directed towards him Specifically, I was the woman he was
in love with and going to spend the rest of
his life with. My children are his children, and he

(08:37):
was absolutely not going to budge on this one.

Speaker 4 (08:40):
This time.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
I agreed and supported him, obviously, because she brought my
children into it. She kind of ignited a little mama fire.
So I did tell my husband that for me to
forgive her and us be any part of her life,
she would need to apologize in person. To me, apologizing
is apparently something she doesn't do often, and imn sure
not in person. Now At this point, I start thinking,

(09:00):
surely my children have never done anything to her, right,
I've racked my brain. They truly hardly ever spoke to her.
They're loud in the way and just regular kids, but
never have visibly or to my knowledge, upset her or
done anything intentionally or even unintentionally to upset her. I

(09:21):
just don't get how a grown woman can be some
type of way to kids. It truly breaks my heart
for my kids too, because while my youngest eight male,
doesn't understand anything, my two oldest thirteen male and twelve female,
are old enough to understand what's going on. Even though
it's never been discussed with them directly, they've overheard conversations.
As for me, well, prior to the storage incident, I'd

(09:42):
never really had much to say to my mother in law.
She'd make some wild comments here or there about people, places,
whatever ranch she had that day, and I would just smile,
not say anything validating or invalidating. I am a very
passive person and it takes a lot to get me upset.
I also hold myself to a very high moral standard.
It's a huge part of my religion, so saying distasteful

(10:03):
things or berating, belittling, ranting, and fueling a clearly flaming
bonfire just isn't my thing. Other than her drama tarades.
Though we did have normal conversations, which I thought were
always pleasant, I never got involved when she was arguing
with the family member or disagreeing with my husband, nor
did I ever offer an opinion one way or another.
One month before our wedding March twenty twenty five, I

(10:24):
decided that I we would not be the reason his
mother didn't attend our wedding.

Speaker 4 (10:29):
While I was still upset.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
With her, I'd had months to think, and even though
I wasn't at a point to forgive her, it is
still my husband's mother, and her not being there ultimately
would be damaging to any possible future relationship with.

Speaker 3 (10:41):
His mother until she owns up to her own bad behavior. Yeah,
there's no reason to build a bridge. I agree to
restore this relationship because then nothing has fundamentally changed.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
We have had zero contact with her since Thanksgiving twenty
twenty four. I told my husban than to tell one
of his sisters to invite her to the wedding. So
he did, and to my knowledge, both his sisters and
his brother best man did tell her she was invited.
The big day comes and drum rolled no mother in
law's sight. She did not come. Well I could tell.
It's sort of upset my husband. It didn't ruin our day,

(11:17):
and we are happily married. I stand firm. I want
a formal apology in person. We have still had no
contact with his mother. What did I marry into exactly?
I think you're fine. I think you're aokay because your
husband clearly is on your side and took very immediate
action against her.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
So I think I think you're okay.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
My boyfriend lets his mom control his finances and thinks
I'm the controversial ones.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
Dude, you gotta start ponying up.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
I Female twenty five know exactly what you're thinking from
the title typical Obama's boy who prioritizes his mom above
everything else and his poor girlfriend gets the scraps. But no,
it's completely separate from that. By the way, this comes
from user outrageous Claim thirty two. And if you want
to submit your own storyries, go to the r slash
showcase Storytime Sebreada And.

Speaker 5 (12:03):
We're here to give good advice. Goofully.

Speaker 3 (12:04):
But we don't have all the answers. We're only mortals.
We only know what we would do in any given situation.
So if you do something different, let us know in
the comments. My boyfriend Mail twenty six avoids his mother
like ninety nine percent of the time, as much as
we can when we're renting a house with her and
the rest of his family. She doesn't own the home.
We aren't living in her home, but we all live

(12:25):
together in a big house in a high cost of
living area. That gives us some great advantages that other
twenty somethings don't usually get. Lots of space in arcade room,
multiple living rooms, in a room of our own for
each of us. The problem is that he's extremely tied
to his mother in every way other than socially. He
pays his phone bill through her, his car payment and
insurance through her, and I find it extremely annoying if

(12:48):
we need to find his insurance information we have to
ask her. It's like she dangles the information around, deciding
if we are worthy of getting the information we need,
and even then she wants to submit the info herself
instead of getting it to us. She holds onto his
birth certificate and has to ask for copies, despite the
fact we have our own files that I keep meticulous

(13:09):
records in. This year, for my birthday, he co signed
on my new car to get me in a lower
monthly payment, something I love, and he offered to do
for me for my birthday in order to finalize some documents,
we had to attach my car insurance information and his
history of car insurance. Instead of pulling up his car insurance,
he had to text his mom and ask her for
the information. I sat there with my documents in my hand,

(13:30):
waiting for his mother to decide whether or not he
could have the information he needed, and she ultimately decided
not to give him his insurance information because it's my
car and he shouldn't need to show anything. From my
point of view, it shouldn't matter why he wants his
own insurance information. He should be able to access it
whenever he wants, for whatever he wants. You've also been

(13:51):
tinkering with the idea of upgrading both of our cell
phones next year, possibly even merging our cell phone plans together.
He had to ask his the mammy how many more
payments he had on iPad, and it took her four
weeks to give him the information he needed for us
to plan further. When we're budgeting, I ask him something
as simple as how much is your car payment? Again,
and he has to text his mom to ask how

(14:12):
much he takes out of his bank account for his
car payment every month. For me, I have all of
that on my own. I have my own health insurance
through work, my own car insurance, my own phone plans,
I pay my own car loan every month, and it
absolutely drives me insane that I can't get any information
about finances without having to go through his mother. At
twenty five and twenty six, I think it's extremely normal

(14:34):
to handle all of these things yourself. But am I wrong?
I don't know if I'm annoyed because I'm extremely independent
and have been since I was around thirteen, or if
this is something that is actually just not normal and
really annoying. There are no other signs of mama's boy.
He never brings her around on our dates or ever
really wants her around at all. He seems just as
annoyed about this stuff as I do. But to me,

(14:56):
if he were really annoyed, he'd put a stop to it,
and he hasn't. Any advice to be appreciated. First advice
would be like, have you talked him about why he
does this?

Speaker 7 (15:04):
Like?

Speaker 6 (15:04):
Why why does.

Speaker 4 (15:05):
He choose this? I think he just realized.

Speaker 6 (15:08):
He probably thinks it's I'm on the same boats. I
think we're I think we're giving him too much of
a hard time.

Speaker 4 (15:13):
I think he's twenty six.

Speaker 5 (15:14):
That's not that much.

Speaker 3 (15:16):
You're playing in the co sign on an insurance thing
with your partner and your mommy says, nuh uh, you
can't do that at twenty six. But I think and
you're like, not immediately like oh oh, You're just like, oh, well,
I guess I can't.

Speaker 6 (15:28):
I think he got parentified into that. I think he
just like his mom probably like that's okay, like I
can do this. I like to see your funds. Yeah.
I think he was like, I don't see anything wrong
with that. I guess because my mom said he was okay.

Speaker 3 (15:38):
Comment one is I don't understand how it doesn't drive
him insane. Dude needs to figure out where all this
paperwork is and go effing get it, Opie says. From
what I've seen, she does this to both him and
his brother, as well as their late father. I think
they all just think it's normal, and I don't know
how to convince them that it's not. Toman too. Now
that he's twenty six, he needs to remove his mother's

(15:59):
access to his bank account. He can write her a
check for his share of the rent and utility costs.
Get his own car insurance at twenty five, the higher
rate just because he's a male under twenty five goes away,
so the reason to stay with parents' insurance goes away.
If she won't give him access to his birth certificate,
just order a new copy online. Same with the social
Security cards. Present it as we are talking about joining

(16:20):
our finances, but having your mother keep the ability to
see an access bills and bank accounts is a deal breaker.
He can be financially entangled with his mom or with you,
but not both. Once you secure his cooperation. Since this
seems to be more out of habit and convenience, you
will probably need to help him develop a budget so
that bills don't get missed or paid late. Because he

(16:40):
hasn't had to do this yet. Do not commingle your
money until after he has shown that he has learned
to do this independently.

Speaker 6 (16:47):
Come in three.

Speaker 3 (16:48):
He is correct, that's how she is, but he's also
allowing her to control his money. With minimal effort, he
can easily get his birth certificate without his mother's consent,
open his own bank account and block her actions, get
his own phone insurance, and make his own car payment.
If he doesn't do that, then you are going to
want to get yourself out of that situation because he
hears a mummer's bory and he will not take control

(17:09):
of his life for finances. While she is alive. He
can break away from her, he just isn't. Since you
live with him and you have combined your income with his,
you are also tied to her. This dynamic will never change. Ever.
You have to decide if you want this woman controlling
your life, because right now she does, by your own admission, thankfully,
everything of yours you pay for yourself, and whatever you
do don't have kids with. Well, Okay, we're going a.

Speaker 5 (17:31):
Little too far.

Speaker 4 (17:31):
See I think that's too fast.

Speaker 5 (17:32):
It's too far right now, he's twenty six.

Speaker 3 (17:34):
I don't think your cause is addressable. Yeah, here's an update.

Speaker 6 (17:38):
Eight days later.

Speaker 3 (17:39):
Today he told me he will be getting a new phone,
but that his mom handled it for him while he
was at work. She called him during one of his
busiest hours and asked him a bunch of rapid fire questions,
ones that he answered without paying much attention. His job
is very physical, so he likely had an ear piece
in and listened to her that way. It ended with
him getting a new phone. Without having to trade his
phone in. When I asked how that was possible, he said,

(18:00):
apparently it was the only way to get my new
phone without me having to open my own separate phone plan.

Speaker 2 (18:04):
Oh no, you are right there. You guys literally want
to have your own phone plan together.

Speaker 3 (18:10):
This guy's trying to hang out in club, baby.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
Very serious conversation with your board friend.

Speaker 6 (18:14):
Now, I thought this was perfect.

Speaker 3 (18:16):
What a great way to bring up this tough conversation organically,
I said, what's wrong with opening your own phone plan?
And he just shrugged. So I brought the whole thing up.
I can't say exactly what I said because it was
word vomit on my part, but eventually, as I was
saying all of this, he said, Okay, I don't want
to talk about this anymore. No, So I told him
we can't just ignore this, and he said it wasn't

(18:37):
a big deal. After a bit of silence, he said,
I didn't know that talking to you would be so controversial.
I tried to stay on track, looking at this as
a whole. He said that either way, he'd been tied
to his mom's account by having to pay off his
iPhone through her. No matter what it would have been
a while before he was detached. So what's one more thing?
I asked, Okay, but when does that end? Don't you

(18:58):
think it's weird that you can't even tell me how
much of your bills are, that everything is through her.
Everything a normal couple has tied together four years in
you have with your mom. I never thought that when
you told me at twenty one that everything was tied
to your mom, that you'd still be the same way
at twenty six. He asked what I wanted him to do,
and that no matter what he did, he'd still be
ultimately financially tied to his mom until his car is

(19:19):
paid off, so it doesn't matter. And that's when I
kind of snapped. I said, and don't you think it's
weird she keeps calling you while you're at work and
then you end up locked in long term contracts with her?
Is she doing this on purpose? And he said, I
mean probably yeah. So I asked him why he doesn't
see a problem with it, and he said he's just
nonchalant about it. At this point, it feels like he

(19:40):
is truly not seeing the problem. I feel incredibly frustrated
and angry that he just lets her do this. It's
like he likes it, which makes no sense to me.
I just don't get it. I just do not understand
how grown man, which I guess he's not not quiet
because he's still a baby. He wants to be a
baby boy. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if this
is like break up territory, but like it's definitely like

(20:02):
big old card assessing how much you want to be,
Like it might be like pulling back territory or like
moving out. I know you said that like living here
affords you guys a lot of you know, stuff, But
it's like being like, I don't want to be in
this environment because it's it feels like I'm living with
just a child.

Speaker 2 (20:19):
I think it's having a big conversation and saying if
I don't if you don't see a change, I don't
know how we can start a life together if you
can't separate your life with your.

Speaker 3 (20:26):
Mother, truly, if you can't see that, I don't know.
If you can't be responsible for your own stuff, how
are we gonna have a life together where you have
to be responsible for your own things?

Speaker 6 (20:36):
Like it's just the how long when your mom's gone? Yeah,
Like how long do you want to do this forever?

Speaker 3 (20:41):
How do you not mind not taking personal responsibility for
things like this? The car I get, but I know
that I had an active loan with my mom that
I got transferred into my own account a few years ago,
so I know he can get his phone separated from
her at least in hard times. She threatens to drop
his name from the title to raise his insurance rates.
But now he's twenty six, so if we asked her

(21:03):
to drop her name, his insurance rates wouldn't go up
and she wouldn't have anything to threaten him over. Then
she'd have nothing over him anymore. But he doesn't seem
to care, and I'm starting to think that it's because
he doesn't want to have to worry about paying anything
on his own. It feels like a massive red flag
at twenty five and twenty six. I'm not sure it's
a red flag. I'm willing to ignore. Yeah, and that's
the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
I think, Yeah, if the conversations don't work, then you
got to reassess. My mother in law mocked our marriage.
Now I want her nowhere near our future kids. Mocked
to blocked for context, I twenty seven female moved to
another country completely alone last year and met my now
husband twenty five mail shortly after. We were immediately inseparable,

(21:45):
and while I was excited to meet his mom, she
was traveling quite a bit at the time. We ended
up meeting about six months into dating. By the way,
this comes from broad Initiative nine six five and if
you want to asmit your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay storytime Subparate.

Speaker 3 (21:59):
I'm Sofia, I'm Dakota, and I'm Keon and we're here to.

Speaker 2 (22:02):
Give good advice scoofully, but we don't have all the answers.
We only know what we'd do, so let us know
what you would do in the comments.

Speaker 4 (22:08):
We decided on dinner at hers, and it was a nightmare.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
I was ecstatic to meet her, but she spent the
entire dinner GRILLINGAM for choosing this over its possible career
in boxing, and saying he would get shot during our
plan trip to my home country. We ended up cutting
the dinner short after sitting through almost an hour of
comments like these. Fast forward to our trip. We decided

(22:31):
to Elope, since neither side of our family was in
a financial position to travel for a wedding and his
mother literally refuses to get on a plane. We figured
eloping would reduce any possible drama. The ceremony was just
my husband, myself, and the efficient. We avoided making any
posts until all immediate family was informed. My family welcomed
my husband with open arms, and his family handled it

(22:53):
well too. I felt loved and welcomed by everyone except
his mother. Upon returning home, she asked if we could
come over to spend time with the family. I wasn't
a fan of this idea, considering how the dinner had gone,
but I pushed myself to go, hoping for the best.

Speaker 4 (23:09):
It was horrible.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
While everyone else was excited to hear about the trip
and ceremony, she had something else in mind, so I
must ask. She goes, are you pregnant? Uh no, I
respond with a confused look. Oh okay, Well, I'll let
the family know that you guys married because you actually
love each other. She then asked if she could be
the one to announce our marriage on social media, to

(23:31):
which my sister in law immediately stepped in, saying, uh no,
let them announce it themselves.

Speaker 4 (23:37):
I was speechless.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
One hundred trillion dollars on her announcing your wedding yea
on her own.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
We left shortly after, and I told my husband about it,
since he had been talking to his sister and completely
missed what his mother had said. Once I told him,
he apologized profusely. We temporarily moved in with her about
a month later due to unforeseen circumstances, and it has
been like living in a heck. She made comments about
someone like him choosing someone like me and got wasted

(24:06):
one night to express her feelings about us being together.
His sister had to step in to tell her she
was being rude. I went back to therapy to avoid
reaching the point where I want nothing to do with her.
My therapist advised we set boundaries so if we go
no contact, she can't say she doesn't know why we
attempted this, and she spent the entire conversation saying things like,
so I'm just supposed to not say anything or not

(24:28):
be involved.

Speaker 4 (24:29):
When I made it clear our marriage decisions were none
of her concern.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
She responded, if you're this upset about my behavior, then
I'm worried about how it's gonna be when you meet
the rest of the family. Everyone else has been great,
it's literally just her. I also asked if she could
not stick her hands in our food, which she has
a habit of doing, and I find it disgusting.

Speaker 6 (24:48):
Why are we doing that?

Speaker 2 (24:49):
A few days after our chat with her, I had
just finished cooking and was getting ready to put together
plates for my husband myself, and as I'm doing so,
she walked over to the food and in a mocking tone,
can I gabs? I'm with my hands or do I
need to use a fork? I responded, please use the fork,
which happened to be sitting next to the food. She
proceeds to stick her unwashed hands into our food. She

(25:12):
let out a giggle and said she only grabbed one.

Speaker 4 (25:15):
That was it. That was the last straw.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
It was clearly done to get a reaction out of me,
and I made it clear to my husband that I
want nothing more to do with her. She's been rude
since day one, despite my efforts to have a good
relationship with her. I told my husband that once we
have kids, there will be a no kissing rule to
keep baby safe, and I don't feel she would respect
this given her behavior.

Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeah, she'd probably jammer unwashed hands all over the baby.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
Yeah, she'd be like, ah, well, I'm not supposed to touch
the baby.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
She'd be like, I'm gonna go into the septic tank
and then I'll take the baby in there and kiss it.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
I don't want her to have anything to do with
our future kids. Given her lack of respect for boundaries,
we decided to look for another place to stay rather
than see her every day.

Speaker 5 (25:57):
Smart, get out of there. Yup, you hate her? It's
a time.

Speaker 4 (26:01):
There is an update, but uh, literally just get out
of there.

Speaker 5 (26:04):
Got contact.

Speaker 3 (26:05):
And to be clear, if your hands are washed and clean,
they can touch food.

Speaker 5 (26:09):
Yeah, but if you just got your.

Speaker 3 (26:11):
Filthy unwashed Mitch shoved into the food. Gross, what is
wrong with you?

Speaker 2 (26:16):
Well, crap finally hit the fan yesterday and my husband
was finally able to see her true colors. Since meeting her,
she's always made nasty comments or given me dirty looks
when my husband wasn't around. Then she tried to hug
me and tell him how how lucky he is to
have someone as amazing as me. Whenever he entered the room.
It was like something out of a movie. When I'd
tell my husband about this, he'd say, what, mom.

Speaker 4 (26:39):
Literally loves you?

Speaker 2 (26:40):
Do you see how much he brags about you. I
don't blame him because she could have won an Oscar
for playing the world's fakest witch. It's been months of
me mentioning these things. While he'd catch glimpses here and there,
he hadn't witnessed the extremes I'd been dealing with. Until yesterday.
I'd been praying everything would come to light so he
could see how monstrous his mother truly is. I felt

(27:00):
like I was starting to sound insane. I knew my
husband believed me, but maybe thought I was exaggerating from
being uncomfortable. But I'm no stranger to being out of
my comfort zone. I've solo traveled the world, so being
in a house with a fifty something year old woman
would be a walk in the park if she were normal.
My husband and she had a chat yesterday, mostly her
eventing about wanting to focus on herself and her artwork

(27:21):
now that her kids are adults. Her hobbies are watching
TikTok videos and making artwork out of garbage.

Speaker 3 (27:26):
Well, that could be cool, but sure, I don't know
recyclingse I think that turning garbage into art is a
good way to recycle.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
Yeah, she lives on government assistance and sits at home
twenty four seven, which is why she has time to
worry about everyone else's lives. My husband said he thought
it was a great idea for her to focus on herself.
They talked about how everyone is getting married or engaged,
and during this my husband said how I am his
priority and how he's looking forward to building a family
with me. Any sane person would have taken this as

(27:56):
a newly married man looking forward to having kids with
his wife. But she's far from saying, she responds defensively, Yeah,
but don't forget that you have an actual family.

Speaker 8 (28:05):
Oh shut up, woman, leave us alone, which he responds, yeah,
of course that's never gonna change.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
But I also have a wife who is a part
of that family now as well. We left the house
shortly after, as we had a few errands to run
and needed to grab lunch. Once we return, my husband
started taking things inside. Before I had a chance to
get out of the car, I received a rapid thread
of messages from him asking me to stay in the
car because he was talking with his mom. This alone

(28:32):
was enough to let me know that something was wrong.
About fifteen to twenty minutes later, he comes out of
the house. I could tell he was furious, and given
that he is a hands down one of the hardest
people to upset, I knew things had gotten bad. He
gets into the car and says, we're moving today. This
is ridiculous.

Speaker 4 (28:50):
His mom told him, we've.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
Been extremely disrespectful, especially your wife. He asked what she
was talking about, since neither of us have ever said
anything rude to her. Your wife doesn't bothered to have
conversations with me, to which he explained that I've decided
to limit socializing with her since she purposely over steps
boundaries After she mocked me and put her dirty hands
in our food. After being told no, I told my
husband that for my own sanity, I felt it was

(29:13):
best not to socialize with her because her actions were
clearly intentional. My husband was very supportive since he was
starting to see what I'd been bringing up for months.

Speaker 4 (29:22):
She found it.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
Very disrespectful that his new wife wasn't attempting to get
to know her, when in reality, I've exhausted every attempt
at bonding with her, only to be met with rude
comments each time. I pushed myself beyond my limits. Because
I knew my husband would love for us to have
a good relationship, but he was seeing she's the source.

Speaker 4 (29:41):
Of all the drama.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
She became increasingly irate, yelling and insisting he'd tell me
to come inside to talk to her. He said no,
letting her know we wouldn't have a conversation unless she
calmed down, and that I've made my decision to keep
my distance until we found a place. By the grace
of God, we made some calls and into place within minutes.
We went into the house without speaking to her, just

(30:03):
packing our things. We dropped our first load at the
new house and went back for a second. We walked
in to find her calling any family willing to listen,
telling them that she doesn't welcome me into the family
because we didn't ask for her blat thanks full offense.
I don't need approval from someone who has multiple kids,
no record of any stable relationship, and who happens to

(30:26):
be a self absorbed, heavy drinker, judgmental witch. She spewed
lies about me, my husband, and our marriage right in
front of us. We're both huming, but we know she's
hoping for reaction and we're not giving her the satisfaction.
We finished packing the car with our things, and he
apologizes to me, letting me know that he finally sees

(30:47):
her true colors. He hands me his phone as we're
driving off and asks me to block her on everything
and to remove him from all of the family group
chats that she's in. I do so, which puts his
siblings and family in the chat on alert. Messages start
flooding in right away, with everyone calling to see if
we're okay. We fill them in on the situation and
they apologize profusely, letting me know that they not only

(31:09):
completely welcome me into the family, but also love having
me as a new part of the family. They were
devastated to hear what we had experienced, but even more
upset that I had been subjected to it for months.
We returned today to grab the remainder of our things,
as we were both too mentally and physically exhausted to
finish yesterday. We didn't speak a word to her. She
apparently made a comment to my husband what a disappointing

(31:30):
outcome that was, to which she ignored her and continued
to pack the car.

Speaker 8 (31:34):
I would like I would do like the what's like
the soccer chamir where they clapp and go oh oh,
I would just like just be aggressively strange.

Speaker 3 (31:44):
Strange.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
She also stood in the doorway watching me as I
packed the car. I guess as a way to try
to intimidate me, but it really just gave off I
belong in a psych word vibes. We pretty much settled
into the new place and we both completely cut contact
with her. I've made made it very clear to my
husband that even if he decides to forgive her in
the future, I want nothing else to do with her,

(32:06):
and she will never meet our future kids. He guy
was worried about our plants being in the same house
with her. There's no way I'd ever trust her around
my kids. I also want to mention that we're only
three months into being married, and I don't feel like
we ever really got a chance to honeymoon because we've
spent almost every day since then playing peacekeepers. I also
found out that she had a falling out with her
daughter because of similar reasons, and that she and her

(32:28):
partner have also cut contact due to mother in law
being extremely disrespectful to them. She apparently feels that she
should be their first and main priority, which I assume
is what triggered her when she was speaking with my husband.
We're over there, bs and are really just looking forward
to enjoying our time together without a gremlin witch heckling
down our next twenty four seven. And that's the end
of that story, folks.

Speaker 3 (32:49):
So grembling Witch is gone.

Speaker 5 (32:52):
She has been sent back to a whole John here
og host.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
We're going to get back to these stories, but a
quick free minute break from hous from our sponsors.

Speaker 7 (33:00):
My friend ruined mine my girlfriend's name. Now I want
to expose him.

Speaker 6 (33:06):
Do it.

Speaker 7 (33:07):
I'llow it and trigger warning here there are mentions of use.
So let me start with how me and my ex
best friend thirty one mail met. For anonymity purposes, we
will call him Kevin. In April of this year, before
I met my girlfriend, I went to a camping music
festival with my close friend group. My friend group introduced

(33:27):
me to Kevin and his friend group. Kevin was an
incredible person at the time. He had a lot of attitude,
but he never directed it at me or our friend group.
We connected heavily at the festival. We both shared some
of our traumas and became really close friends in a
short amount of time. By the way, this comes from
away to concentrate five seven three five And if you

(33:49):
want to submit your own stories, go to the our
slash Okay storytime Supreddit. And I'm Angie and I'm Keon,
and we don't have all the answers. We're just gonna
guess what we would do in this situation. But if
you would do anything differently, let us know in the comments.

Speaker 5 (34:01):
So Op says.

Speaker 7 (34:03):
After the festival, we would play video games regularly as
he lived two hours away from me. Our friendship was
solidified at another music festival where three of us in
that group really became close. Everything started to change when
I met my girlfriend at a music event in June.

Speaker 5 (34:17):
We hit it off incredibly well.

Speaker 7 (34:19):
We would finish each other's sentences and everything felt like
home with her. I haven't felt like this in over
two years. And for context, I had tried to date
it quite a bit in those two years, but always
ended up in very toxic relationships that left me broken
and hurt. So much so that Kevin and others from
the friend group Janet included, started a group chat so
that I could vet the people that I was talking

(34:40):
to because I was not good at picking good partners
with my girlfriend. Everything seemed just right, and I immediately
started to put a lot of energy into her. We
would spend a lot of time together, and I became
a little distant to my other friends because I felt
like I found the one. The communication between Kevin, Janet,
and I started to dwindle, but Kevin and Janet stayed
in touch regularly.

Speaker 5 (35:01):
We were still good friends.

Speaker 7 (35:02):
But there was a change in the dynamic, and I
own that Kevin had expressed concerns about how quickly my
relationship was progressing and how he missed our communication. In July,
the entire friend group went to another music festival. Unfortunately,
there were some moments that caused a rift between my
girlfriend and Janet. A lot of miscommunication occurred, but both
of them felt slighted by the other, and Kevin was

(35:23):
in the middle of it. Janet started to talk to
everyone in the group about how she was feeling and
basically made the group feel extremely weird about my girlfriend.
My girlfriend tried to have conversations with Janet, but she
ghosted us for a month and a half. Kevin said
that he was trying to help foster a better relationship
between them. However, Kevin was now getting mad at all
the drama and was starting to make me feel like

(35:45):
he was mad at me as well. A couple of
weeks later, my girlfriend went to a festival that she
had planned before we started talking, and because of my trauma,
I got incredibly insecure. I was asking for assistance from Kevin,
so I didn't go off the deep end. I leaned
on him pretty heavily, so much so he stated that
he did not have the bandwidth to help me through
this situation as he had just started a new job.

(36:07):
I apologized for leaning on him so heavily, but explained
that he was someone that I fell close to and trusted,
something that he previously had told me would never be
a problem if I ever needed assistance. At the end
of August, we all decided to go to another music festival,
and this one went really well. On the last day,
I decided to do some spicy flower for context. I

(36:29):
had a major problem with this about five years back
that I had communicated with my friends and told them
that I stay away from it. My girlfriend occasionally indulges
with this and dated At this particular festival, I wanted
to give it a shot and see if it still
had a.

Speaker 5 (36:43):
Vice grip over me.

Speaker 7 (36:43):
After the festival was over, Kevin asked if he could
get a ride with us to a little after party
at one of our friend's house. The Spicy Flower continued
and I got into a pretty anxious headspace and wanted
to leave. Around five to six am. He got in
the car and started to drive home. We also had
my girlfriend's best friend in the car. I was completely
exhausted and the drive home was well over an hour.

(37:04):
As we got closer, my girlfriend started to get tired
and asked if we could drive back to her house
and if everyone could get an uber back home. Her
best friend understood and said that was fine. Kevin seemed
a little annoyed, but agreed that that was fine. I
noticed how annoyed he was and tried to mitigate the
problem by offering to buy his uber home. He thanks
me for that, and I bought his uber home and

(37:25):
went inside to go to bed without waiting for the
uber because I was basically falling.

Speaker 5 (37:29):
Asleep standing up.

Speaker 7 (37:30):
Fast forward a couple of days and I find out
that Kevin had called every single person in our friend
group and told them that I left him alone to
deal with his phobia of off right of ride shares,
which he had never told me about. He told everyone
that he thought that I was a regular user and
had no care for how his friends felt.

Speaker 5 (37:51):
He said.

Speaker 7 (37:52):
He said that I was spending all my money on
substances and my girlfriend was a bad influence on me.

Speaker 5 (37:57):
Oh my gosh, mind you.

Speaker 7 (37:59):
I tried it the one time, decided I didn't like
the way I felt, and swore it off again. I
didn't find this out from him. I found this out
from a couple of close friends inside the group, which
hurt because previously we had spoken about being upfront with
each other. Finally, we go to a camping music festival
that we had been planning for months. Kevin Janet, another
one of our friends, and I had pitched in together

(38:21):
to get a camping spot. But just but I decided
to back out because I wanted to stay with my girlfriend.

Speaker 6 (38:26):
I'm sorry, aren't you guys tired?

Speaker 5 (38:28):
I know?

Speaker 3 (38:28):
How do you?

Speaker 6 (38:28):
Guys?

Speaker 5 (38:29):
I'm tired from like doing this.

Speaker 6 (38:31):
Like I get it, people do it, but like are
you go?

Speaker 5 (38:33):
Where are you?

Speaker 6 (38:34):
Where are you located? Where you're going to have a
music festival to stay every other week?

Speaker 5 (38:37):
How much? Where do you work to have these music.

Speaker 6 (38:41):
Where do you get the days off to do this?

Speaker 7 (38:43):
Yeah, exactly before the festival, I asked if my girlfriend
would be able to stay at the same campsite with us,
and that decided and that end up. Before the festival,
I asked if my girlfriend would be able to stay
at the same campsite with us, and that ended up
being a no. He told me that I would have
space at a friends campsite near our whole group. Before

(39:03):
the festival, I found out that the space that they
were offering was completely separated from my group by a
thirty minute walk, so I got a car camping pass
with my girlfriend, which cost us about six hundred dollars
after I had already paid one fifty dollars to stay at.

Speaker 5 (39:18):
The previous spot.

Speaker 7 (39:19):
We get to the festival and the whole group is
acting weird with my girlfriend and I, so we asked
Kevin what was going on, and he told me that
he didn't know and that he was staying out of
the drama. Everyone continued to act weird around us, but
we ignored it and tried to make the best of
the situation. On the last day of the festival, I
decided to do some substances again. One of our friends
had a sister pass away that day, and we all
decided that we were going to hold off on any

(39:41):
type of heavy conversation so we could be there to
support her.

Speaker 6 (39:44):
Was this very night? Was this before you did substances
or after you did substances? Because right, I don't that's
not a I don't know.

Speaker 5 (39:53):
I worry where this is going. Yeah, I have a feeling.

Speaker 7 (39:55):
As the substances were starting to hit, Kevin decided to
spend an hour and a half telling me about how
hurt he was and how terrible of a person I
was for making him take an uber home. He laid
into me so much that it made me break down
and almost put me in the med tent halfway through
the conversation because of how distraught I became. Luckily, my
girlfriend pulled me away, sat with me, and calmed me

(40:16):
down before we continued talking at Kevin's insistence. Near the
end of our conversation and my girlfriend asked if he
could stop with the heavy conversations, and he got irritated
and walked away, so I followed him, and he continued
to lay into me and tell me how I was
a bad person and how he.

Speaker 5 (40:33):
Had told everyone in the group about how he was hurt.

Speaker 7 (40:35):
He said, that's what caused everyone in the group to
have such a skewed perspective of my girlfriend, and I.

Speaker 6 (40:40):
What did the girlfriend do?

Speaker 5 (40:42):
He's admitting to all of it.

Speaker 6 (40:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, hey man, what's wrong nothing.

Speaker 5 (40:46):
Yeah, he's literally like monologuing his evil scheme.

Speaker 7 (40:50):
He's like, yes, and I told everyone, and that's why
they all think of you this way.

Speaker 6 (40:55):
Yeah. Like my gosh, I oh man. One I would
have been like, hey man, I'm on a substance right now. Yeah,
let's have this talk later. I'm a I'm just not
in a good I'm not in a good mental state
right now. Yeah. Sure, my vibe is not being vibed
out right, and you're you are you are verbally attacking
me right now, exactly at a music festival out of

(41:18):
all places.

Speaker 7 (41:18):
Right, It's like those trips in her videos where it's
just like nightmare.

Speaker 6 (41:22):
N this is literally nightmare.

Speaker 5 (41:24):
Yeah. So he basically lied the entire time.

Speaker 7 (41:27):
He forced me into a bad trip and then laid
into me even though he could see the damage that
it was causing me. His whole situation made my girlfriend
very uncomfortable and she started to feel ostracized, so we
ended up leaving the group for the rest of the
night so we could actually have a decent time, even
though we wanted to be there for our friend who
was going through a difficult situation. After the festival had ended,

(41:49):
Janet and I sat down and talked about everything. Then
my girlfriend and Janet sat down and talked about their
animosity and had a good conversation.

Speaker 5 (41:57):
We all connected and.

Speaker 7 (41:58):
Talked about how Kevin had acted during this week. Kevin
had forced Janet and the other girl in the tent
to set up their campsite alone because quote I have
no idea how to pitch a tent, and Janet and
I talked. She confirmed that Kevin had been going around
smearing my girlfriend's name because he had become emotionally attached
to me and was jealous that I was spending so
much time with her and not with him.

Speaker 5 (42:20):
He had heavily implied.

Speaker 7 (42:22):
That I was a regular user to the group and
told everyone he spent all his money on substances and
his girlfriend is turning him into a terrible person. I
had learned all of this and was already upset, but
I let my emotions calm down and used Chat to
be t to craft an amicable response to convey my
feelings without attacking him.

Speaker 5 (42:39):
That's crazy, the fact that.

Speaker 6 (42:41):
You need to rely on that to Okay, I mean,
I get it, do what she gotta do.

Speaker 5 (42:45):
But also, maybe let's like, let's let's talk about that.

Speaker 6 (42:48):
Let's talk about that's another situation, Like you shouldn't need
that to talk about how you feel.

Speaker 7 (42:55):
Yeah, at least let's maybe learn from this and how
Chat to be te did it and then not use
it in the future.

Speaker 5 (43:01):
But I digress.

Speaker 7 (43:02):
A couple of days later, my girlfriend went to get
her hair done by one of the girls in our
friend group who is a hairdresser. My girlfriend was informed
that the entire weekend, Kevin was telling everyone that she
told him that she wanted to be single for a
nocturnal and implying that she was trying.

Speaker 4 (43:17):
To cheat on me.

Speaker 7 (43:18):
Oh my gosh. And there is a little bit more
to the story. But that's such a wild rumor to start.

Speaker 6 (43:25):
Kevin likes his spread rumors by iget. But remember at
the beginning of the story, Yes, the attitude problem Kevin has.

Speaker 9 (43:33):
Dude, see that really does happen, Like I've had, I've literally,
I've had friends where it's just like, well, I mean
I don't really like how they talk to that person,
but like they have to figure that out.

Speaker 7 (43:43):
I feel like I can't really say something and it's
also not directed at me.

Speaker 5 (43:47):
But then guess what happens a little bit later.

Speaker 6 (43:50):
It's got to come to you. Sooner or later. You
have a friend that treats waiters or like hostesses or
or anybody relationships, anybody just negatively where like it's just
like that doesn't make any sense, or you shouldn't talk
to that person like that. Yeah, if they can do
that to them, they can do that to you.

Speaker 7 (44:08):
Yeah, you probably it probably would be a good idea
to like call it out in the moment so that
they know that you're not gonna put up with it.

Speaker 6 (44:15):
Yeah, boy oh boy. But not a fan of Kevin,
but I will say I think the moral of the
story is just I mean, yes, you were trying to
communicate Ope. I feel like when he started spreading rumors
about the ride share stuff like his trauma, I would
have reached out to him and be like, hey, man,
can we have a conversation because I've been hearing stuff
from people. What's what's going on? Like I feel like

(44:36):
there's so much tension between us and between my girlfriend.
What is happening? Like, let's let's squash the beef, Like what,
what's what's going on? Right?

Speaker 5 (44:46):
Like if you're not going to communicate first, I will.

Speaker 6 (44:48):
Yeah, exactly, Like it's like the Ali branch, Like I'm
hearing things from you and I care about you in
our friendship. What's going on? And I know, like it's
like I have to be the bigger many. It's like, yeah,
we're adults, we can do that exactly.

Speaker 5 (45:03):
I mean that is being the bigger man.

Speaker 7 (45:04):
I feel like it is not just like oh, I'm
gonna like let them talk about it.

Speaker 5 (45:08):
I'm not gonna say it.

Speaker 6 (45:09):
I was like, oh, it's okay. It's like at this point,
it's like this is what's the point of this? And
I mean you are understand what the point is, but
now it's gone to a point of it just time.
There's a time and place for everything, and you like
obviously arguing at a music festival, and on top of
that all these other things, and on top of that,
you're on substances, right, not the time and place.

Speaker 7 (45:31):
Not the time and place, he most likely did this
knowing that if it got back to me, it would
absolutely destroy me mentally and emotionally and damage my relationship.
Before my girlfriend told me this, I had tried to
call Kevin and was immediately sent to voicemail multiple times.
I figured out that he had blocked my number, blocked
me in all social media, and basically was trying to
wash his hands of me and my girlfriend. Now back

(45:53):
to the original question, Would I be the a hole
for wanting to expose all of this and clear this
and give everyone a perspective of the conniving and downright
disrespectful way he treated both of us and the manipulative
way that he went about painting both of us as
terrible people that don't care about our friends. Or do
I have every right to clear the air and show

(46:15):
everyone how manipulative this entire situation is.

Speaker 5 (46:19):
That's the end of the story. What do we say
to those questions?

Speaker 6 (46:23):
Oh, I definitely say clear the air for sure, Like, hey,
these are these are false rumors? And you know what
if if it is going around friend groups that you
do hang out with, I mean, yeah, you do you
do what you like? If people like we're like, oh,
I heard rumors about Angie. I heard rumors about Keon right,
and I'm like, uh, no, those aren't true. Uh who

(46:45):
do you get that from? You're oh, from that person,
So that's a lie. I would definitely kill clear that,
especially if it's because of not just you but also
your girlfriend.

Speaker 5 (46:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (46:55):
People were literally ostracizing you guys at a music festival
because an acting weird around her and you Yeah, because
of this, you don't like that.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
Hey, it's Sam. We're going to get back to these stories.
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 6 (47:07):
I cut off my friend without an explanation because he
exploited my kindness.

Speaker 5 (47:12):
Snip snip witch.

Speaker 6 (47:14):
My former friend thirty male and I, thirty female, met
the first day of college. Dorms were set up as
townhouses with five rooms and they were co ed. We
were in the same dormhouse. By the way, this comes
from user apprehensive count five ninety seven. And if you
want to submit your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay storytime sub breddits. I'm Keon and I'm Manjie,

(47:34):
and we're here to give good advice. Goofily, but we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd
do in these situations, so let us know what you
would do in the comments, and Opie says. Orientation was
three weeks set up as backpacking trips for most, but
we both had joint issues that made us unable to
do that, so our orientation was just doing various volunteer
work around town. We grew to be close friends pretty

(47:55):
quickly after moving out of the dorms. We stayed close
friends this can for ten years.

Speaker 5 (48:02):
Nice.

Speaker 6 (48:03):
We both considered each other our closest friend, and our
parents and siblings considered each other family. Nice. He always
had challenges with finances. I didn't until the past year.
My current financial struggles are unrelated. Though he fairly regularly
asked to borrow money to help cover rent, groceries, et cetera.
I had the ability to help, so I did. One day,

(48:23):
he texted me to tell his partner thirty five non binary,
had their car totaled, asking if I could drive them
to work the next day while they figured out what
to do. I was with my dad at the time.
He saw my face, questioned and I told him. He
offered his car up he had two at the time,
for a temporary solution, no charge. Expecting it to be
a few weeks. I towed the car to his house

(48:45):
to drop it off and told them the three rules.
One run it through a wash every once in a
while to preserve the paint and trim. Two keep the
tank above one quarter to preserve the fuel pump. And
three let me know what it's due for maintenance when,
including which mile to do that at or if any
repairs were needed, and I would take care of it.
Twoish weeks turned into tewish months. Oh boy. I kept

(49:05):
asking for updates because my dad wanted to sell the car.
He kept hulling me they were still going to court
to try to get the wasted driver that hit their
car to pay for the damages. Ten months after bringing
the car to him, my dad needed to sell the
car due to financial strain. He was paying insurance and
registration on a car he hadn't seen in almost a
year and he couldn't afford it anymore. I gave my

(49:26):
friend an ample warning that I'd be taking my dad's
car back when the insurance and registration were up for
renewal and told him the date. Due to work and whatnot,
I hadn't visited. I lived two hours away in six months.
When I got there to pick up the car, the
clear coat was peeling, the trim was all dry rotted,

(49:46):
the gas tank was completely empty. It started sputtered and
passed away the car and the check engine light was flashing.
I asked, and he said he didn't not wash it
in the entire ten months. He said, the check engine
light had been flashing for three months. Guys, but the

(50:07):
gas is really what got me, he said. We drove
it around a bit to run it to empty. That's
what he gets for effing us over by taking our
car away. They already had another vehicle, his partner's dad
get to them a car. I had no energy. I
spent the night before in the er, worked all day,
and still had to tow a car two hours down

(50:29):
a winding mountain. So I got it loaded up and left.
I fixed the car, filled the tank, replaced the fuel pump,
and replaced the trim. The check engine light was for
the transmission. It was badly dented and had a puncture.
It had been running with no fluid for months. I
got a new pan and some other transmission parts, fixed

(50:50):
it and got it running again. My dad was out
of town visiting family that week, so he never knew
about the damage. He gave me a power of attorney
to sell it for him. It got eight k less
than the offer before loaning to them because of the paint.
I cashed the check and added ak of my own money,
just so my dad wouldn't have the nicest thing he'd
done for someone in a long time come back to

(51:11):
bite him in the butt. About a week after picking
up the car, he needed help moving. He was being
wrongfully evicted. His partner had been arrested for false accusation
unreleased on bails. Crazy They had to be out of
the house by the end of the day. I figured,
e fitt whatever, I have nothing better to do, and
I have a few things at his house that I
loaned him that I wanted back, so I drove up

(51:34):
to help. Their apartment was absolutely disgusting Florida ceiling trash.
Twenty seven cats and two dogs had been living in
a tiny apartment. They were all fed, but the litter box,
one small one, was overflowing. There was cat urine and
feces everywhere. The animals were already removed and were at

(51:55):
his partner's dad's house while moving, but they fully intended
to keep the cats in dogs living with them in
the tiny car given to them by the partner's dad.
I still helped again to try to find things I'd
loaned him they could be cleaned. Okay, I found out
that his partner had thrown the things away knowing they

(52:16):
were mine because they bought their own stuff. They bought
their own things that I had let them have on them.

Speaker 5 (52:23):
Gonna steal those things honestly, Like, oh.

Speaker 6 (52:24):
That's cool, I'm gonna take that. Yeah, I'm gonna take that. Yeah,
oh I have one of those. I take one of
those two.

Speaker 7 (52:30):
Yeah exactly, I'm fully just like taking those. Oh you
threw away my stuff. So thanks for buying it from
me again, thanks for buying me a new one.

Speaker 5 (52:37):
Appreciate it.

Speaker 6 (52:38):
I don't think these people understand when people give you
stuff when you're when you're getting alone, that doesn't mean
it's yours outright. It means it's like, hey, I'm just
gonna let you borrow it.

Speaker 7 (52:48):
And also like even if you if you thought that,
like clearly they're acting like that's the case. But if
you think that that's the case, and something that is
being loaned to you is actually given, why would you
buy a new one because you have one?

Speaker 6 (53:03):
It's insane. There were a lot of items they'd never
even taken out of the packaging, a lot of various
kitchen appliances and household items. They kept offering them to me,
but I had no need for those items. Then they
offered me a blender, a really nice and expensive Ninjab.
I have a nicer, fancy blender and didn't need it,
but said I don't, but my dad's blender broke and

(53:24):
he needs a new one. Him and his partner looked
at each other, and his partner said, well, actually we
need that. I thought nothing of it until I saw
them walk the brand new, still in the box, never opened,
expensive blender right past their moving truck, straight to the
dumpster outside. What the f dude? My friend said, well,

(53:46):
we'd rather throw it out than let that piece of
crap have it. I said goodbye and left. I had
an itch, so I looked at public records. The crash
never happened. His partner didn't have insurance and was three
months before on payments. Their car was repossessed. The eviction
was because the partner and him were smoking devils let

(54:07):
us in their apartment, which maintenance had on video because
they were smoking while he was fixing their sync, and
the partner's arrest was for assaulting the maintenance guy when
they got the eviction notice. They were caught on camera
as well and had multiple witnesses who also took video.
About a month later of not responding to his countless

(54:28):
text and calls, I blocked him on everything. It was
between that or absolutely tearing into him. But that wasn't
worth my time or energy. There is a little bit
left to discuss, Angie. If you if you were I again,
I already said my piece. I would tear into my
friend and block him. Then I would block them like

(54:48):
you suck. I don't want you in my life anymore. Bye,
I get it. You're you're doing the better the bigger
man thing where you're just walking away like just complete
clothes and block. That's great. You can do that. I am.
I would be so upset.

Speaker 7 (55:01):
I would be very upset, and I would want to
do that. I would want to tear into them. I
would want them to give them money back. I would
want to take that that blender just right in front
of them.

Speaker 5 (55:13):
I would want to steal other things.

Speaker 7 (55:15):
But I worry about that information that after they got
the eviction notice they attacked them.

Speaker 6 (55:21):
All that stuff is insane.

Speaker 7 (55:24):
Because now, I mean, what if he attacks you, and
then I think, like, if you just ask for the
money back, I feel like he's just going to attack you.
I feel like if uh, yeah or she actually well
it's both of them.

Speaker 6 (55:37):
Well, I think Pie is a she. I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 7 (55:43):
I think Opie's male, and then the friend is female,
friend's partner non binary.

Speaker 6 (55:50):
Sometimes.

Speaker 7 (55:51):
Anyway, these two scumbags, I think they're I feel like
they're going to well I guess no, he said he
attacked I forget. But anyway, these two scumbags, they are dangerous.
I would worry about talking to them alone. I feel like,
if you really want the money back and you want
this stuff like for the car, then you know, gather

(56:14):
your screenshots of conversations and take them to court. Honestly,
I feel like that's the only way you're actually gonna
get your money back. But obviously, you know, it is
still a worry of your your physical safety if if
that was part of it, Like so, I don't know,
for your safety, it's probably best to just leave it.
But at the same time, I mean, that's just so,

(56:36):
that's so effed up.

Speaker 6 (56:37):
Yeah, no, I'm I'm upset for you, O pie, this
is crazy, But let's finish up the story. Now. Two
years later, I've started feeling guilty for not explaining the
end of a decade long friendship. Not because I know
how it feels to lose a friend with no explanation,
but because I feel like he deserves to have it
thoroughly explained to him. How much of a piece of
crap he is. I also want an answer for what,

(57:00):
but in ten years of friendship, did I ever do
to make him think that one hundred percent of the
damages to the car wouldn't fall on me instead of
my dad? Because if I give off that image of
someone who would let someone f over my family, I
want to know so I could be better. I still
have one platform I can message him on. I've already unblocked,

(57:21):
and I'm drafting what I want to say. So would
I be the a hole if I follow through in
explaining the end of that friendship? We have some comments here,
I don't think so before we end the comments, I think, yeah,
I would have done it before, like before you blocked him.
I'm like, so, I'm ending this friendship and he's gonna
be like, why am I Do you really need to do?

(57:42):
You really need to be just spelled off for you? Yeah,
Come at number one, you would not be the a hole.
If you think it makes you feel better, then by
all means right to him. But you need to be
prepared for possible scenarios. Best outcome you never hear from
this a hole again. Another possibility. He becomes all worked
up thinking about a magic in slights and starts pestering you,

(58:02):
scratching your car, ordering crap to your address, et cetera,
et cetera. Another possibility. He contacts you all remorseful, tells
you how sorry he is. It was his partner and
the substances that made him do it, et cetera, et cetera.
Your heart softens and you let him back into your life.
He reverts to being an a hole. Heartache follows. You

(58:23):
block him, but only after he costs you lots of
money once more. Come a number two. To be honest,
if you think you are doing this just for the
sake of him, to know, do it, get over it?
But I like, but like, I hope he doesn't get
back at you for something and you should also save
yourself from that f up of your mental piece if
he does so, if you can handle that, tell him

(58:45):
otherwise don't because if you can't handle it, it's not
worth it. It's not worth your f and piece when
it's been two years already. Oh, PE's propries, there's nothing
he can say that would disturb my piece. Smiley face reply.
That is not convincing, since it has been two years
of no contact, and yet you are still fantasizing about talking,
explaining and getting back at him and then that story. Yeah,

(59:08):
it's like you've been in the shower thoughts of like
having that argument with him, Like yeah, so I'm gonna
tell him this and this is how it's gonna go.
The scenarios gonna play like this, and I mean the
shower listening to like cool music.

Speaker 5 (59:18):
But yeah, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 7 (59:20):
I mean, I think, write it out for sure what
you want to say, but then give us some thought
and then see if you still want to actually send it,
because I've done that before.

Speaker 5 (59:30):
But then it's like, ah, yeah, you shouldn't actually say that.

Speaker 6 (59:33):
At the end of the day, what is it going
to do for you? What is it going to do
for them,

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My mother-in-law said I'd RUIN her son's life... so I banned her from our wedding! -r/okstorytime | Reddit Stories | EP2338