My mother-in-law won’t drop my husband’s EX… so I won’t allow her around my kids! - r/AITAH | Reddit Stories | EP2251 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John.

Speaker 2 (00:00):
This is your og okay Storytime podcast hosts, and we have.

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Some rockin stories for you coming up.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
But before you rock out with your socks out, I
got a quick tune minute ad break from a sponsors
keeping the show rocking and rolling. I discovered I was
the other woman, so I dumped him. Yes, yes, you
know what else is?

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
This comes from the r slize Okay Storytime subredd h Yes,
I hope I get this all out coherently, but here
goes nothing. And please keep in mind that this was
my first relationship after leaving a seven year long harmful relationship.
I would never accept this kind of treatment in my
life again. I twenty six female at the time, had
just started a new job where I worked in the

(00:40):
same facility as my mother, but for a different company.
By the way, this comes from Illustrious Trash eighty five.
And if you want to submit your own stories to
have them read just like this one, go to the
r slash Okay storytime subreddit. There was definitely a very
heavily male dominated environment, and being a new woman, I
garnered a lot of unwanted attention when I first started.
By no means do I think I am exceptionally attractive.

(01:01):
I think it had more to do with me being
new and being pretty, but not so attractive that I
was unapproachable. I am also usually a very professional person
and had never dated a coworker at the time. Out
of the men that would go out of their way
to make conversation with me, one did stand out. Let's
call him Steve. Now, Steve was very sweet at the time.
What started out with him bringing me drinks and snacks

(01:23):
whenever we had a break quickly became him passing me
sweet little handwritten love notes whenever he saw me in
the hall. I was absolutely smitten with us.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
Man.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
Steve was everything I wanted in the partner, the antithesis
of my ex He did not smoke, drink, or gamble,
and seemingly had no vices. After speaking with him more,
I found out that he had been in a relationship
for ten years with his then girlfriend. He tried telling
me all the same things that they always say. Neither
of them wanted to be in the relationship, but felt
obligated to stay because they had moved here from their

(01:53):
home state together. That she didn't appreciate him, but his
mom liked her, and he didn't want to upset his mother,
et cetera. I was quick to cut it out, and
I let him know that while I really liked him
and one and more, I was not a homewrecker. So okay,
so he is in a relationship. It was so there
we go super certified. He accepted this, and we would
talk when we saw each other at work. Both cut
off outside communication. About a month later, he texted me

(02:13):
and told me that he could not get me out
of his head and had broken things off with his girlfriend,
so that.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Way we could try and see where this could go.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
I stupidly believed him, and I allowed him to take
me out on a date, after which we had our
first intimate encounter, some spicy sleep. We were inseparable from
that point on. Steve showered me in gifts. When he
was at my place, he would dote on me. He
would do my dishes, massage my feet, and have food
delivered to my house when I was feeling sick or tired.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
If I was short on my rent or.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
Was just very close with my bills, he would send
me money without asking.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
But at the time I had been trying to scrape.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
My life back together after my harmful ex made sure
that I left with nothing when we separated. Steve was
known for putting in a lot of overtime at work
and loved to throw his money around. He would even
go out of his way to impress my mother, making
sure she always had extra help at work, and even
learning phrases from her language. My mother is foreign in
English as her second language. Looking back at things now,
I do realize that he was love bombing me, but

(03:10):
at the time, it felt like I was finally getting
the affection I had been so starved.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Of in my previous relationship.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Course, everything seemed perfect, and with months of us starting
our relationship began talking about getting married and starting a family.
I think this is when he started to feel more
comfortable with exerting.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
Control over my life.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Friends from work began to notice how close we were getting,
and it would express that they believed Steve was still
with his previous partner. When I brought those concerns to Steve,
he would dismiss those concerns from me as jealousy or
simply say that the men at work were trying to
separate us so that way they could have their chance
of me. Over the next few months, he would isolate
me from my friends and family whenever possible. I am

(03:50):
super socially active person, but had joined a friend group
for every niche hobby. Steve did not approve of this,
and after I started attending group gatherings, he would ignore
me as.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
A punishment for no respecting his wishes.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
I was not allowed to go out with my friends
if Booze was involved and he was not present, regardless
of whether or not I was drinking. Any attempt at
socialization without him present was met with stonewalling as punishment
for me not respecting him as a man.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
Sir, you are acting like a baby. Correct.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
I ended up withdrawing a lot from my friends in
order to keep the peace in our relationship. About a
year to our relationship, I woke up one day to
text messages from a random number. This included intimate pictures
I had sent to him and a text that read,
how did.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
You like screwing my man?

Speaker 2 (04:33):
It was Steve's ex girlfriend here on referred to as
girlfriend number one.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
I tried to remain calm, but.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Let her know that while I could sympathize with how
much he had to be struggling with such a long relationship,
ending per somehow hacking into his phone was inappropriate and
if she attempted to distribute my photos I would press
charges against her. And after a little back and forth,
she realized that I had no idea that they had
never actually broken up. Over the next few hours, we
compared calendars, text messages and came to the conclusion that

(05:02):
not only had he been sleeping with both of us,
sometimes on the same day, but he had also bought
us the same Christmas and Valentine's Day presence and was
using excessive amounts of overtime to explain any away time
he was gone home for too long. It turned out
that some of the love notes that he wrote to
me were written off of her work notepad. Steve was

(05:23):
also using girlfriend number one's car to come visit me,
what as she had worked from home since the VID
and did not often need it. Not only that, but
it came to light that the first day we had
gone in a date and been intimate was when Girlfriend
number one had been in their home state at a
family member's funeral. This explained why that had been the
only time that we ever spent the night at his house,

(05:45):
because it was the only time she was gone. I
had never thought to question why we always stayed.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
To my place.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
At the time, it seemed like it makee the most
sense because the building where we worked out was in
the town that I lived in, and his home was
about thirty minutes away and in the next town over.
On Valentine's Day, Seve had spent the previous night at
my house, leaving early in the morning under the guys
that he had volunteered to.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
Go into work early that day.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
I know what you're thinking, this man had to be
so hot or swing in a baseball bat, But in
all honesty, he was a tall, average looking guy, but
with a nice smile. The bar was just in the
molten center of the earth. At this point, the more
we fleshed out of the truth, the more horrifying it became.
I was not the first woman that she had caught
him with. Hell, I wasn't even the third woman. Steve

(06:29):
had done this to her many times.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Apparently.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
I offered to block him, but she asked me not
to and told me to let her know if he
reached out to me again. I offered my apologies to her,
but if I'm being honest, I was devastated too. Up
until this point, I convinced myself that this was the
man I was going to start a family with and
that we could grow old together someday. He did not
reach out to me after this, as girlfriend number one
had confronted him with the proof of his infidelity.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
When we cross paths at work, he would avoided eye
contact with me or just go around to the opposite direction.
This went on for a few weeks while I I
passed away inside a little bit every time I saw him.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
Even knowing how much he lied to me, I still
missed him so much, and compared to the abuse of
my last relationship, the lies seemed less and less harsh.
In my mind, I was in love with this man,
and it felt like there was no way I could
ever lose someone like this again. Eventually he started shooting
me longing looks in the hallway oh no, or he
would find excuses to come into the area by my
office so that way I would notice him. At one point,

(07:24):
Steve left a little note on my desk, apologizing for
hurting me, but begging for another chance.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
All right, He left a little note. We get HR
involved now, dude, Yeah, Hr, Where's Christian? Where's Christian? We
have HR duties.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
He claimed that girlfriend number one and him had split
for good this time, I guess, and that she had
moved back to their home state. He wanted to work
things out and was willing to do anything for a
second chance. I had to explain to what happened to
my mom at some point, which only made things worse
for me.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
My mother is very old.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
School and really only saw all the support he had
offered me over to last year. My father was not
supportive and he struggled financially to raise me. To her,
the best possible thing was for me to have a
partner that could provide me with a comfortable life. She
encouraged me to give him another chance and told me
that he is a human and obviously loved me very
much if he was willing to throw away a relationship

(08:17):
of a decade away from me. After the prodding from
my mother, I ended up giving him another chance.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
No stupid of me, I know, with.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
The insistence that we now had an open phone policy
and we would share locations with each other at all times,
which I admittedly rarely checked, and we would spend time
in his home too, so I be assured that he
was not hiding anyone at the home. At first, he
was just as loving as before, but quickly I began
to notice suspicious behavior from him again, constant over time,
placing his phone down, nights where he insisted that he

(08:48):
couldn't come over, and whispers at work. It drove me
insane until finally, one day, a coworker sat me down
and told me that another woman from work had been
calling their department look looking for him. When questioned why,
she quickly made an excuse and hung up. Well, this
was enough for me to put a plan into action
to confirm my suspicions. So one night, he called me

(09:11):
after he got off work and told me he had
to cancel our plans last minute because his friend in
my town needed him to work on his car. I
watched in real time as his location showed him driving
straight home and not to his friend's house. I decided
to ask him if I could spend the night with
him after he was done helping his friend. He insisted
that this wouldn't be possible as he didn't know what

(09:31):
time he would be home and it would likely be
very late. So I waited about thirty minutes after he
said this and texted him back. If you're at your
friend's house, then whose car is parked in your driveway? I,
in fact did not actually waste my time driving the
thirty minutes to his house, but I already knew it
was happening.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Opie was calling the shots.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
This is remote work, ladies and gentlemen, This is the
definition of remote work. In seconds, he was calling me
over and over again, sending me a flurry of messages,
begging me to please pick up, and tellelling me that
it was just a friend from work.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
I told him to cut the crap and that I
was not stupid.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
He admitted that he had been intimate with this woman,
but swore it was only the first time.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
Sure, fat chance to that. I mean, bro, this this
man is gotta love this stupid logic of like, well,
if I tell her that it only happened this one time,
right now, maybe jo him forgive me.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
I told him to never speak to me again, and
send him a photo of every love note he ever
wrote me In my grip. He begs me to talk
to him again, all the while he was still was
girlfriend number three. It did not take long for his
coworkers to find out that I had dumped him and
the dogs came running. He was furious when he found
out that one of his coworkers had asked me out
on a date and that I had accepted. This coworker

(10:40):
was the definition of tall, dark and handsome, and was
well known for keeping to himself. Steve called me while
I was on my way to this date and insisted
that I come over so that way we could talk.
They coldly told him I had plans, hung up. Tired
of me, Steve, Yeah, and I put my phone onto
an understurb.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
He called me over and over again, sending me text
effortext asking how I could do this to him and
that he loved me so much. After my day was over,
I finally texted him back at two am, saying it's okay, baby,
now we're even. You screwed one of your coworkers, and
now so have I. He absolutely blew up on me,
calling me heartless, asking how I could betray him, claiming

(11:17):
that I could.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
So easily give up on him.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
Absolute nonsense. Yes, Ope, that is absolute nonsense. I made
it a point over the next few weeks to always
have my hair and makeup done.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
I wore tighter clothes, that showed off my figure ooh, ooh, ooh, groovy, Oh.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
My god, and went out of my way to be
overtly friendly to anyone, everyone, and loudly giggle at everyone's
jokes whenever he was near.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
Not long after that.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
I started casually seeing one of my friends from another department.
Within a month of confirming that I had moved on Steven,
girlfriend number three had gotten married in a rush ceremony,
and he would try to flaunt their lifestyle at me.
Eventually I left that job for another opportunity. From what
I've heard, girlfriend number three, now life of Steve, has
since been arrested. She found evidence of him cheating on her.

(12:05):
Absolutely lost your crap on girlfriend number.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Four, phenomena, dude, my god.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
At this point, this was all several years ago. I've
had a few different relationships in that time, and I
am now peacefully single. If you have made it this far,
thank you for reading. I apologize for lengthy story. Don't apologize,
and ask you to not judge me too harshly. I
was just a broken person desperate to be loved.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
Now, I love myself enough not to settle for someone
who would love me any less than how I deserve
and I think we need to just you know, we
kind of already said it, but it's like, OPI was
coming from a very very very bad relationship before this,
right right, and it's like that person lowering her her
self esteem, self love everything. That's where she was literally like,
oh well, it's like not as bad, you know, and

(12:47):
her like it warps your whole reality, you know, And
she was like, we're all on our journey and all
all learning.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
So when she got love bombed, you know, she got
like yes. So it's like, oh my god, my dreams
coming true. It's like, this is what I've been waiting for.
And then you know this person, then it's like and
now I have you under my control. I caught my
boyfriend paying other women he claimed to look down on.
Excuse me, that's an interesting way to go about that.

(13:15):
I met Alex on an online dating site sometime last fall.
Normally I have a strict five year age limit, but
boredom and curiosity got the better of me, so I
swiped right on him, expecting nothing more than a few
entertaining exchanges. By the way, this country user, you're poison toonic.
Oh I know you're here today? And if you want
to submit your own stories and have them read on

(13:37):
the stream just like this, go to the r slash
okay story time subreddit. To my surprise, the conversation didn't
fizzle out like most do. He was sharp grounded, and
despite the age difference, carried himself with a sense of
maturity I found refreshing. He came off as a well
put together, blue collar kind of guy, someone who actually
wanted to build a future, not just chase fleeting fun.

(13:59):
After a few week weeks of talking and light flirting,
we decided to meet up. Our first date wasn't exactly traditional.
I invited him half jokingly to a bar night I
had planned with co workers and their partners. I expected
him to politely decline, but he surprised me again by
agreeing to come that night. I waited anxiously at the bar.
At one point, someone vaguely familiar approached me and I

(14:20):
had a split second panic, thinking I'd been catfished. Thankfully
it wasn't him, and when Alex finally walked in, he
was even cut than his pictures. He got along effortlessly
with my friends and even recognized a few from high school.
Coming from a large city. It felt surreal how small
the world could seem. We played bar games, danced, and laughed,

(14:40):
and it ended up being one of the best first
dates I'd had in a long time. When he drove
me home that night, we had a deeper conversation about
our values, goals, and what we wanted from life. I
had already told him I plan to move back to
the city at the end of twenty twenty five, once
my lease ended. Of course, he said the classic line,
maybe I'll give you a reason to stay. With a laugh,

(15:02):
I rolled my eyes and told him we shall see.
Over the next month, we kept seeing each other dates,
jim workouts, and bedroom chemistry included. From the start, he
was clear about wanting something monogamous. I, on the other hand,
was hesitant. I hadn't been in a serious relationship in
over three years, and only someone willing to put the
work in with me would be worth changing that. My

(15:24):
hesitation mostly stemmed from a couple of red flags I
wish I hadn't ignored. Alex had a history of crazy exes.
One left him for a client after starting in of another.
One of his exes was apparently bipolar and ran back
to her X. I gave him the benefit of the doubt,
since the history sounded messy. Youth and poor choices happened

(15:46):
to the best of us, and those relationships happened when
he was heavily into the uh noseclams. About a month in,
an old fling of his caught wind of our relationship
after I tagged him in a post. She publicly called
him a hypocrite for never allowing her to tag him
I'm posts and threw a few not so subtle jabs
at my appearance. I brushed it off, chalking it up
to another bitter X, and oddly enough, that drama led

(16:08):
us to having the what are we talk? When I
brought up being official. Suddenly he wasn't so sure anymore
whether he was ready for a commitment, another huge red
flag that I once again ignored. But after a few
intense conversations, he sent me a Facebook relationship request, a
running joke between us. Despite the warning signs, I eventually accepted.
Things progressed quickly from there. Within a month of being official,

(16:30):
he was staying over almost every other night. We had
fallen into a comfortable routine of gym knights and shared
dinners and staying over just made sense. Eventually, after a
near accident where he almost ran into a cop car
due to falling asleep at the wheel, I started making
space for him to stay over more permanently. But cohabitation
brought new problems. He hated when I listened to spicy

(16:51):
audiobooks or talked about my favorite reads. I understood not
everyone enjoys steamy audio, but I expected the same courtesy
I gave him when he went on about call and
niche music. He also hated when I played Okay, story time.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
Ah, throw him in the river, get him out with
a life jacket, especially ones involving toxic relationships.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
He said some of the stories brought up traumatic experiences.
In hindsight, maybe he saw too much of himself in
them and didn't enjoy seeing people like him being ripped
apart verbally by the community. Despite the differences in hobbies,
we tried to make it work. With the gym getting
busier around the holidays, we started going less and less,
and I could see this was stressing him out. As
a peace offering, I went in on half and bought

(17:36):
us a three hundred dollars home Jim set up. This
included a bench with a bar, a multifunction weight machine,
and an elliptical off of Marketplace, a total steal. It
improved his mood until it didn't. He started making backhanded
comments about my weight gain thanks to quitting vaping and
starting birth control, both things I did for him, and
lack of motivation in joining. He would say things like,

(17:57):
you'll be so hot once you get into a routine,
I won't be able to keep my hands off of oh.
When confronted, he swore it was a compliment. I wasn't convinced,
especially since he started making more and more excuses to
skip the horizontal mambo unless it was geared towards his
spicy hobbies or worded as a quick pump and done.

(18:18):
Around that time, I noticed sketchy phone behavior. He would
angle his screen away or turn off the phone abruptly,
occasionally switch apps. He claimed he didn't notice he was
doing that and that it was just habit putting the
phone down to give me attention. At one point he
even said he was hiding gifts he was researching for me.
Since this was around the holidays, I let it go,
hoping I was being paranoid since the first few times

(18:41):
I would catch a glimpse of screen, he would be
doing something innocent, like talking to the boys or scrolling
through funny reels. For a while, things seemed okay again.
He even got more transparent with his phone use. Eventually
I brought up what would happen when my lease ended.
I suggested we rent together something practical, since it was
too soon for home ownership plus impop in this economy.
Considering he was already living with me and he had

(19:03):
expressed many times how he wanted a place with a
garage for his cars, I figured this was a reasonable
compromise rather than extending my lease. He acted surprised and
made a snarky comment that I must be really sure
he was what I wanted. He saw the look of
disbelief on my face, and before I could fully ask
if this wasn't what he wanted, he quickly amended his

(19:24):
statement and agreed it made sense. Still, the hesitation lingered,
and I tried to bring it up a couple more
times after to make sure he was alright with it.
I even reassured him that if things didn't work out,
we could work it out civilly, and I could always
resume my plan to move to the city. Things then
started unraveling. Further. Intimacy continued to wane from spicy to lackluster.
His motivational gym comments returned, and I told him how

(19:47):
undesirable they made me feel. He blamed it on stress
and financial anxiety and always reassured me that I wasn't
to blame. I always tried being understanding, since I was
also burnt out and fed up with my current work
situation and the law cold winter. I was hoping once
spring came, we could get out and things could return
to how they were at the beginning of our relationship.

(20:08):
In late January, he reconnected with an old female friend
who had just left a harmful relationship. He said she'd
cut off all male friends during that time, but now
that she ended things, she was back trying to reconcile
with her friends. I don't mind female friends, but I
evaluate them based on behavior. Yes, he had other female
friends he would talk to occasionally, but unlike them, something

(20:28):
about this one rubbed me the wrong way. She would
invite him over to smoke and even asked him for
help moving, Yet I was never explicitly included. When I
brought that up, he claimed it was an open invitation,
since she didn't know me and that we'd get along
if we simply met. Still, it felt off since his
other friends always made it clear they would love to

(20:49):
meet me. I didn't prohibit him from helping her move,
but instead reminded him he was already complaining about the
list of things he needed to get done. He agreed,
and instead we spent the weekend working on his car
and helping his mother on the farm. What cool activities. Okay,
he's like a car guy, he's a farm hand.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
Yeah, I mean that's that's the only things I've had
more than once.

Speaker 1 (21:12):
I found him taking long phone calls with her from
his car, saying she was venting. He insisted on keeping
her confidence and that it was easier to just finish
the phone call in the car. I knew better. He
was fine talking to his other female friends around me,
even when they were over sharing about their spicy sleep life.
I should have ended things there, but he always knew

(21:33):
just what to say to de escalate things, and I
didn't want to come off as controlling her pushy. Since
everyone has different boundaries personally, my friends understand any tea
shared with me will also be shared with any partner,
and in turn, I gave them the same liberties. We
had a conversation about it, and he promised to try
to be more open about his conversations with this girl,

(21:55):
but without going into details that would betray her trust.
At one point, he shared with me a funny, quote
unquote conversation they had, and I remember alarm bells going
off in my head. I don't remember the details, but
I remember pressing him for more and him shutting down.
Next day, I asked again for more clarification, and all
of a sudden, the details of the conversation changed to

(22:16):
paint himself in a better light. I pointed out the
inconsistencies in his story, but again he had an answer
for everything, and even tried showing me the text exchange,
but I politely refused. At this point, I think I
knew things were over if they didn't change, but I
was holding out hope that things would get better once
it finally started getting warm out again. On top of that,
I had made a commitment with his mom to help

(22:38):
at an event about a month out that would also
benefit me in the end. By February, his moods continued
to fluctuate despite my attempts to try to ease his
stress and work things out. Then one day, the day
of the event, I walked in on him pleasuring himself
from the bathroom. I wasn't mad about that, it happens,
but I tried to start a conversation about it, curious

(22:58):
about what kind of spice he was into. He brushed
it off, saying it was, you know, I'm just on
the hub, and that he already exited out of it,
and that it was, you know, just the usual stuff.
But he felt uncomfortable talking about it. We joked about
it a bit and I let it go, even though
it hurt a bit that he was doing that behind
my back. A small part of me wanted to go
through his phone right then, but anxiety and better judgment
got the better of me. Not to mention. We had

(23:20):
to finish getting ready to work the event with his
mom that day, but that night the feeling wouldn't leave me,
and two nights later I did the thing I swore
I wouldn't do and went through his phone. I started
with the conversation with his female friend. Most of it
was normal yapping, but I came across a part about
me he'd been venting to her about our relationship, calling

(23:41):
me crazy and paranoid, but that it was probably his
fault since he was being distant and snappy with me.
He told her he had second thoughts about renting together
and didn't know how to bring it up to me.
He also expressed how he would like to go and
smoke with her, but that I wouldn't be up for it.
I'm thirty one and quit the Devil's let us ages ago,
and going to smoke with a young single mother of
two didn't sound like a fun way to pass an evening.

(24:02):
She joked, she was the one in a controlling relationship now,
and he didn't even try to defend me. Worse, he
kept asking her to call him, so much for her
being the one always reaching out and calling him. I
almost woke him up right then in there. While I
knew what I did was wrong, I figured if his
mood came from a place of fear, there was still
a chance we could talk things out. Stupid, I know.
It was almost enough to make me forget about the

(24:24):
bathroom incident, But before waking him, I got a nagging
feeling to check further. In his opened apps, I saw
he had Twitter I don't use that app, so I
was curious and I clicked it, and that's when everything
unraveled further. Here we go, Oh my Atlanta, let's see
it opened up on of his dms were filled with

(24:46):
spicy creators, femboys, spicy workers, you name it. His Twitter
was also filled with nothing but femboys, spice workers, so
he had been sending these individuals pictures, buying their content,
flirting with them. All of this was a huge betrayal,
especially since I stopped liking book talk thirst traps in

(25:07):
the beginning of our relationship, since he mentioned they made
him uncomfortable. Up until this moment, I'd tried to stay
level headed and compassionate in the relationship. To compassionate, my
Latina side finally won out, and that's when I lost it.
I yelled, shoved him awake, and confronted him. He stammered,
Thinking back, the look of shock and terror on his

(25:29):
face was a thing of beauty. He tried putting off,
giving me answers, feigning confusion, but I gave him the
ultimatum that he either leaves now for his dad's or
he explains further and I would allow him to crash
on the couch until morning. He claimed that it was
a compulsive issue, a problem he could not conquer, and
said I'd give him the wake up call he needed,

(25:52):
quite literally. Apparently. He admitted he was embarrassed about the
role play he'd requested from the models and was ashamed
to show me the messages. Didn't care about that. I
just wanted the truth on how long it had been
going on behind my back. According to him, it was
only for a month or two, but I highly doubt
it was only that recent. He said he didn't view
it as cheating since he didn't respect spicy sleep workers, so

(26:13):
it wasn't emotional. Yeah, so you're you're really helping yourself
out there, budd He needs therapy so bad. Dude, Buddy
is so much deep seated shame about what he actually
is into that he can't even admit that that's just
what he wants. He's like, actually, I'm doing this because
I hate them, right, So isn't that okay? I don't

(26:33):
respect them at all? They disgusted me. Really, buddy? Can
I say? I'm just saying, do you want to pack
your fart box?

Speaker 3 (26:39):
More power to you, and a healthy would come up.
It's okay, it's okay. Holy why do we god be ashamed?
Why do we have to be ashamed? I agree, though,
it's okay. I fully agreed.

Speaker 1 (26:54):
If you're trying to pack out your fart box, that's
not my business. Yeah. See that guy, Yes, right, that's
it right there, except he's except he's on the floor.
He's been pushed out of the bat that's live POV footage. Yeah,
so it's okay. They'll be insecure and then do all this.
Oh yes, and she did all this stuff. It took
him about another hour to work up the courage to

(27:15):
open his phone and show me his profile. I saw
how much money he had spent over the years, which
made me laugh, since he always complained about never having
enough money. Now I could see why he moved out.
The next day, I admit I was petty and went
on a bit of a rampage. I chucked all his
stuff in a pile for him to pack up, and
destroyed every sentimental item I had gifted him and the
few he had given me, and threw it on a

(27:36):
pile of his things. I didn't destroy anything important, just
small things that had meaning. He realized what I did
and was upset. It made him realize just how many
small things I did for him throughout our six months together.
I also reached out to his female friend and told
her about what I found out and how he manipulated
and gas lit me for the past few months and
essentially made me out to be the bad guy. She

(27:58):
didn't even bother responding. Later, I found out she immediately
messaged him and then proceeded to invite him over that
very night. Oh of course he accepted his excuse. I
wanted to see if you were right about her hitting
on me. She didn't even try anything. That's gotta be
one of the dumbest things ever, dude, Like I'm trying to,
like my mind wants to come up with an example

(28:18):
of that that's like like a geopolitical like a World
War II reference or something, but it's not where like, yeah,
it's another FDR reference. It got it before, but totally
totally bombs I did not catch it. I did not
catch it good. I don't know if he really is
this daft or he thinks I am. She never replied
to me, and when he asked her about it, she responded,

(28:41):
I have enough of my own problems to deal with.
I don't want to deal with someone else's having more
problems for yourself, and here you go. Despite my beta judgment,
we stayed in touch for a while. After the breakup.
He tried saying all the right things. He cut ties
with his female friend after realizing she was just a
user who didn't even care about what he was going
throughologized and tried putting in the effort I wanted when

(29:02):
we were together, but I was done. My heart was
no longer in it. He moved into an apartment at
his job, only to move back in with his dad
weeks later when the rent turned out higher than expected.
I started dreading his calls, especially since it would interrupt
my new routine of watching my favorite live podcast, Score Yeah.
I became cold and snarky. I was giving him the

(29:24):
same treatment he'd once given me. Eventually, mid argument, I
told him it wasn't going to work. He ignored the
comment and kept talking, which is typical. After that, I
started finding excuses to cut calls short, mentioned a couple
more times that things weren't going to work, and started
responding less and less to texts every time I brought
it up. He found ways to avoid talking about it,
so I did the petty thing. After going unread for
a day, I sent him a final message, thanking him

(29:46):
for bread crumbing the conversation into non existence, and then
blocked him on everything, or so I thought. I forgot
about Instagram. Oh no, he reached out there, said he
was just giving me space since I had said things
weren't working and that fail only drama had kept him distracted.
I told him off one last time, said I was
too grown to be avoiding difficult conversations. And if his

(30:07):
family handles conflict like he does, they're all screwed. And
then I've locked him again. That's like savagely funny. Yeah,
that is That is a great final message. We do
have a little bit more story left, We have any
final thoughts here.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
Fellas, I mean, just sometimes people people be sneaking in
there and then then they they suck.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
It's just happened. Sometimes it takes a little time for
it to be revealed. But honestly, like the deceit and
the is all bad, I would not you know, don't
definitely not get bad with this guy. Yeah, that guy's
the a hole, yes, but it comes from like a
very human place of I think this guy is clearly
into something that he himself doesn't know how to reckon with. Yeah,
he's kind of ashamed of yes, you know, he's like, well,

(30:50):
I don't respect like he's got a lot going on
psychologically about his own spicy proclivities. Yeah, that he's got
to work through.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
I think it's a great call because like, hey, you
don't deserve to feel like bad about or feel bad
about yourself. And by feeling bad about it, feeling bad
about yourself, well, look what you're doing to the people
around you, the people that you supposedly love and care for.
So it's like, hey, except yourself, it's all good, and
then good things will go back into you. It's a beautiful,

(31:18):
virtuous system.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
On the other.

Speaker 4 (31:19):
Side, it's one big word for this guy, shame.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
Shame. Shame, shame. He's shame. He's shamed of himself, and
he kind caused and all kinds of problems for everyone
around him. Yeah, so, but good on you for getting
out of her poison. Two thumbs up, thumbs up.

Speaker 4 (31:37):
I mean it was a giveaway when he wasn't into us.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
That's automatic, like just like, how do we get him
in prison? Are you doing that? There's like another color
that's even redder than red, and that's the color.

Speaker 4 (31:48):
How can you hate that? Look at that ultra red?

Speaker 1 (31:51):
Do you hate that? You're making me think of my
high school bully bully? I'm gonna bully you. I don't
even really get bullied that hard. He just had one
nickname for me that was brutal. I can't say it.
I would never give that amoor out for free. I
have to be paid a lot of money to put
that out there like that. Let's finish this story. And
that finally was that. I know it was wrong solely
putting the distance on him, since I was the one

(32:13):
detaching myself, but at that point I honestly didn't care.
Whenever I think back on it, I get upset for
being so forgiving for so long. I gave him repeated
chances and let him disrupt the piece I worked on
four years to achieve. In the end, it wasn't even
about the emotional cheating, but the emotional manipulation constantly denied.
And that is the end of that story. Yeah, dude,
that guy's a manipulator. Yups because he's manipulating his own

(32:36):
stuff too. He's a manipulator, and a manipula Biggar. Hey,
it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories, but
here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors. My mother
in law won't drop my husband's ex, so I won't
allow her near my kids.

Speaker 5 (32:53):
Around, touch the ground, kick your X out of town oo.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
I thirty three female and my husband Tom thirty five male,
have been no contact with most of his family for
three years. Within those three years, I've had twin boys,
which has made my mother in law try to get
back in contact with me. There's a lot of history there,
but here's a brief summary of why Tom and I
are no contact, and it all revolves around Tom's ex

(33:18):
who will call Talia? And by the way, this comes
from user Oka Disaster seventeen eighty eight, And if you
want to submit your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay story time subrent it. So. I am Indian
American and Tom is white. He comes from a pretty
traditional family and grew up in a small town. Talia
was mother in law's best friend's daughter, and they were

(33:40):
the small town romance everyone envied. However, upon meeting in college,
Tom and I just clicked on a platonic level and
to be honest, I didn't even have feelings for Tom
until four dates in. I guess you could say he
had an emotional affair, but he never did anything physically
romantic until he broke up with Talia. Talia, of course,
remained an contact with his family since she had been,

(34:02):
according to mother in law, the daughter she always wanted.
Keep in mind Tom has a sister, which means she
has a daughter, just not the one she wanted. But
Talia is more of a homemaker, while my sister in law,
who is an absolute angel, had always been more career focused.
Talia had been at every holiday, family gathering and get

(34:23):
together since the very start of the relationship, and at
first I paid it no mind. I was civil to
Talia because mother in law made it clear she mattered
to her, despite Talia's blatant distaste and disrespectful attitude towards me.
That changed. At my weddings, we had two well was
it a secret one and then a public one? Please
please please, and my parents footed the bill for both.

(34:45):
The dress code was simple. Aside from the obvious no
white and wedding party colors rule, nobody was supposed to
wear red. I am well aware that red means you
slept with the groom. But more importantly, red is a
bridal color in my culture. I wore I read Lenga
and sorry to my Indian wedding, which she wore an
eggshell off white dress. To keep in mind, white is

(35:08):
worn at funerals to represent purity in my culture.

Speaker 5 (35:10):
Interesting.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
That got my aunties and cousins talking, but I still
had a blast since I really didn't care. I did
care when she showed up to the American ceremony in
a floor length apple red gown with a slit going
up the leg.

Speaker 6 (35:25):
It feels like in a true or false test, if
you get every answer wrong, that means you know the
right answers. She's like, she knows exactly what she's doing.
These are not accidents at all.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
Right, So it was a bridesmaid's dress and it violated
the dress code. My sister in law, along with Tom,
went to tell her to change. She did leave after
having an hushed argument, and came back in a tea
length green gown. I assume she just wanted to see
if she could get away with it. Apparently my Auntie
saw this too, which meant Talia was subjected to stairs

(35:59):
withers and backhanded gigglefits throughout my whole American wedding. It
made Talia feel embarrassed, and she cried to mother in law,
who went to me and told me to keep my
kind in line. Whoa YO to this? I crossed my
arms and told her that maybe Talia should have stayed
in her lane, that she knew not to wear red
for multiple but mostly cultural reasons, and it wasn't my fault.

(36:22):
My family is shaming her for it. It isn't my fault.
She became cannon fodder for my gossiping gaggle of a family. Yes,
I said those words, since that is what my aunties are.
Those were the consequences of her actions. Tom and sister
in law backed me up, and mother in law left
with Talia before dessert. The next day, there was a
social media post from Talia crying about how she was

(36:42):
exiled from her best friend's wedding because the bride was jealous.
I made a post back telling her that she wore red,
knowing how inappropriate it was, how her best friend is
her ex and to not sugarcoat what she did. I
then tagged my mother in law in a separate post
with screenshots of Talia's post and told her that this
was the last straw that I have been disrespected by

(37:02):
Talia from the very beginning of my relationship. Now that
I was her daughter in law, she needed to keep
Talia away from family events and holidays since she doesn't
respect my husband or me. I didn't care if they
still went on weekly shopping spreeze or spa day's just
keep her away from Christmas and barbecues. Talia removed her
post after being publicly called out. Mother in law was

(37:23):
good on this compromise until three years ago, after Talia
came to Thanksgiving with a pie in a plastered smile,
a Thanksgiving that I was hosting. Bruh, who is Talia?
You did such a good job. Ooh, come on? Dingis
In the context.

Speaker 7 (37:39):
Of the story, Talia is the daughter of the protagonist's
mother in law's best friend, who was in a romantic
relationship with the protagonist's husband Tom before he started dating Opie.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
Which is true.

Speaker 4 (37:52):
That's all accurate, actually very accurate. It's just the way
it was word.

Speaker 1 (37:55):
Which it's true. Talia is the daughter of the mother
in law's best friend, so the ex girlfriend of Tom.

Speaker 4 (38:01):
Yeah, look at dingis butt good. Wow.

Speaker 1 (38:06):
She said something along the lines of mother in law
invited me, and I wanted to make sure mother in
law could actually eat something, since I know you tend
to cook ethnic food. I slammed the door in her face,
went over to mother in law and told her she
should leave with Talia, who I just slammed the door on.
Tom looked at his mom, who had this deer in
the headlight's look. She tried to sputter excuses, and my

(38:27):
father in law tried to defend my mother in law,
but Tom stood firm. He said they had lost access
to him and any extension of him because they chose Talia.
My in laws, aside from sister in law, left and
we haven't spoken since. Fast forward now, TI. Last week
I got a text from an unknown number and it
was mother in law. She said she saw a picture
of my boys from a mutual friend's post and wanted

(38:49):
to reconcile. She said she'd keep Talia away this time,
and that ever since she got cut off, she's been
in minimal contact with Talia anyway. Her Facebook, however, begs
to differ. I told her as much, saying I knew
BS when I smelt it and she made her choice.
I told Tom about it and asked if he missed
his family. He shrugged, saying he doesn't care, and it's
been relieving not having his mom around. He is the

(39:12):
youngest son of three, so he was always the baby boy.
But I have since received texts from my brother in law's,
their wives and my father in law begging for a
second chance. She always wanted to be a grandma, and
I do feel like I'm robbing her of a chance.
Her other sons haven't had children yet, and sister in
law cut her off when we did. But you can't

(39:33):
undo nearly a decade of disrespect with wishes and wants,
and Talia is still in the picture, so I'm skeptical
about how long that promise will last. I feel like
I'm being callous, but there are so many stories I
can tell about Talia's disregard for Tom's boundaries and mine,
and I don't want to welcome a storm into my
house by opening up the gates. Am I the a

(39:53):
hole for telling my mother in law she made her
choice after she kept my husband's ex around. Let's ask
dinga spot. Why did Tom and Talia break up? Tom
and Palia broke up because Tom developed emotional feelings for
the narrator even though he was in a relationship with Talia.
This emotional bond led to their.

Speaker 5 (40:08):
Break So it did break up.

Speaker 6 (40:09):
I wonder like if Tom was actually over Talia, Like
if it was you know, like right, I mean, because
if you'd end a relationship to join another, I feel
like you still need that time, even if you kind
of lost.

Speaker 5 (40:24):
Feelings for that first person. I feel like you still need.

Speaker 6 (40:26):
Time to process a kind of breakup before you get
into a full other relationship, you know.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
I mean yeah, but I think there was maybe.

Speaker 6 (40:33):
A little bit, a little bit of time before they
like officially started Dayton.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
Well, I know, they definitely dated for a long time
before they got married. Okay, it'd been years, So.

Speaker 5 (40:41):
What's the problem here?

Speaker 1 (40:42):
The mother in law kept the ex girlfriend around the
whole time, to the point where she's at the wedding
trying to basically like upstage op and being like I'm
wearing red and doing this and doing that right, and
uh yeah, I think, mother in law, you live with
your decisions. There's an edit here, since there seems to
be some confusion, I want to clarify Tom did not
cheat on Talia with me. Tom broke up with Talia

(41:05):
after a few platonic hangouts with me. That is why
I said you could call it an emotional affair, because
you could argue it was one loosely interesting. Tom only
asked me out after he broke up with Talia, and
I accepted after he confirmed via text that he had
broken up with her while visiting home for the weekend.

(41:26):
There was no overlap between Talia's relationship and mine with Tom.
So for everyone who thinks I was the other woman
and the reason my mother in law hates me is
because Tom cheated on Talia. No, he didn't. Wrong comments
number one not the a hole. Mother in law made
her choice. She said she changed, but you can see
that she hasn't on Facebook, so she doesn't deserve another chance.

(41:46):
There's no endless chances clause, no auto forgiveness clause, or
the right to be included for anyone or family. If
you don't behave you don't get to be included. When
you get the chance to tell mother in law she
can be grandma to Talia's kids, OP says, you're absolutely right.
Talia made cryptic posts about my mother in law being
a bonus grammy when she eventually moved on. This was

(42:09):
on a Mother's Day post midway into Tom's and mine's relationship.
Like the flags were waving in my face, but I
sucked it up back then since I didn't want to
make waves. I kind of regret it, but kind of
do since it showed my character versus hers. I really
did want to make it work. Shake in my head.
Come at number two. The best part of the story
is how Tom is standing by you all the way

(42:29):
and seems relieved and not deal with his mom's bull
The worst part is the daughter she always wanted when
she has an actual daughter. Mother in law is a
serious a hole. Do you really want her in your
kids lives for the brief period while she behaves and
then try to explain what happened to grandma when you
have to shut her out again? Ohpi says, good point,
and yes, Tom and my sister in law are God sends.

(42:50):
Sister in law is an amazing aunt. She spoils my
boys rotten and so does my family. I don't need
mother in law in my life. I just felt as
a mom being robbed of being a grandma would hurt
my confidence took a plummet postpartum, so I tend to
overthink now and that is the end of that story.

Speaker 6 (43:07):
Yeah, that's really disappointing because part of me is thinking,
like if this was still early on in the relationship,
it seems like mom just needs to have her grieving
process of the relationship, like of the Tom and Talia
relationship being over.

Speaker 5 (43:18):
But this is like years in.

Speaker 1 (43:20):
Yeah, it's been so the whole time, she's just been like, well,
this is the daughter that I recognize, the daughter I've
always wanted. Shut up, actual daughta, go back into the basement.

Speaker 5 (43:31):
Right right, Like that's what are we talking. That's really disappointing,
But that is the end of that story.

Speaker 6 (43:38):
My sister in law refuses to respect my wedding plans,
so I.

Speaker 5 (43:41):
Removed her control all delete.

Speaker 6 (43:44):
In my culture, the maid of honor and best man
are supposed to be a married couple. Interesting that seems
hard to find. We don't have very many of married friends,
and we were close with my fiancee sister and her
husband at the time, so we planned our bridal party,
so it seemed obvious that we should ask them. They
were very happy when we ask them and agreed to
take on the role. By the way, this comes from
deleted and if you want to submit your own stories,

(44:05):
go to our slush Okay storytime and sepred it. So
I have six total bridesmaids, including my fiance's older sister
as well. I am purchasing all of the bridesmaid's dresses
except for his two sisters, as they insisted that they
want to buy their own so that they can get
something very nice and expensive. I'm totally fine with this
because our wedding is black tie and the other bridesmaids
will be.

Speaker 5 (44:23):
Wearing elegant gowns as well.

Speaker 6 (44:25):
His sister maid of honor has become a huge pain,
but as we got closer to the wedding, I know
that she has been bullying my future husband because he
is a pushover. But he is finally finding his voice
to speak up and say no what it is appropriate.
I'm going to list out all the things below so
this post doesn't get too long. My parents are paying
for the bulk of our wedding, but my fiance is

(44:45):
taking care of the florist so we can do something
very nice.

Speaker 5 (44:48):
She keeps telling me that she.

Speaker 6 (44:49):
Will plan the flowers with absolutely no experience because we
shouldn't spend so much. She is aware that this is
one thing that my fiance is paying for. She refuses
to look at made of honor gowns in the correct shade.
I chose a deep red color for all of the
bridal party gowns, and she keeps showing bright red options
and trying to convince me that she could wear a
different color because she is made of honor.

Speaker 5 (45:09):
No, that's not correct.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
I mean is doesn't that happen sometimes?

Speaker 5 (45:13):
Though sometimes it can.

Speaker 6 (45:15):
But if the bride doesn't want that though of course, yes, yeah,
he will be perfectly.

Speaker 5 (45:20):
How dare you bring that wedding just the white day?

Speaker 1 (45:23):
Right?

Speaker 6 (45:24):
My cousin bought her dress first and showed my fiance's family.
The sister said, oh, that's nice, but she is going
to get something even better because she is made of honor.
She's bringing her husband and their children to my bachelorette
because her three year old can't sleep without her. She
did not clear this with me prior, and I would
have urged her to just stay home if it was
going to be too difficult. I find this extremely strange.

(45:46):
She invited them without asking. The oldest sisters started dating
someone one month ago and our wedding is in two months.
The middle sister told me that the oldest sister's new boyfriend,
who we have never met, is going to be in
our bridal party. I told her absolutely, and she said, well,
the older sister won't be in the wedding. Then I
told her that I'm fine with that. My fiance absolutely

(46:06):
does not want the new boyfriend and his party, and
confronted the older sister about this. The oldest sister had
no idea the middle one was even suggesting this, and
she agreed that it would be weird to ask her
new boyfriend to be in our bridal party. To be clear,
he is still invited as a plus one. He just
won't be standing up at the alshra with us. The
middle sister and my fiance's mom told us that we
are rude for not changing the bridal party to allow

(46:26):
the new boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
Oh are you rude? Oh so rude. Why don't you
go have your own wedding and you can invite him.

Speaker 6 (46:33):
Yeah, exactly. I told the middle sister that we extended.

Speaker 5 (46:35):
The dates of the bachelorette by one day if she
would like to stay longer.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
With us.

Speaker 6 (46:38):
Prior to knowing that she was bringing her entire family.
She let me know that her and the other sister
planned to go bridesmaid dress shopping the same day we
got back from the bachelorette. They never let me know
about this shopping date, which is rude in my opinion,
as I have made an effort to be inclusive with
them by inviting them to be in the bridal party
and to all of the events.

Speaker 5 (46:57):
My fiance called the oldest sister to let her know
that it's.

Speaker 6 (46:59):
Not okay that they planned bridesmaid dress shopping without me,
and they are not going to be picking their dresses
without my approval. The oldest sister let him know that
the date was not set in stone, and she agreed
to change it so that I would be able to
make it. I texted them as well, and the oldest
sister agreed that we will all go together. However, the
other sister had never replied. Also to add on, I
have a wedding planner who is taking care of everything,

(47:20):
and my mom's best friends planned my bridal shower, so
there is really nothing for the bridal party to do
besides show up. I have a hard time asking people
to show up for me, So I'm not putting any
pressure on anyone in the party. Everyone else has been
great besides my one future sister in law. I just
wanted to vent about burdening people in my life who
are not interested. Thank you so much for your input
if you have read this far, and congratulations to all

(47:42):
of the other brides, and we do have an update.

Speaker 5 (47:44):
What do I think about this sister so far?

Speaker 1 (47:48):
I just can't wait for her to not be involved
in this. Yeah, I really really like and it's so refreshing.
I hope I can't. I can't wait to experience it.
But I know she's getting kicked out. She's got to be.
You don't get in line behind the general. Let's make
this about the military now. Yeah, the general of the

(48:08):
wedding is the bride.

Speaker 5 (48:10):
Absolutely, room, we need no us.

Speaker 1 (48:12):
Against their orders. You will be held in contempt, yes,
in a military court.

Speaker 5 (48:18):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
Yeah. It just it's not your day. Yeah, freaking relax. Relax.
And also, if if you know, make your wedding whatever
you want it to be. If you want someone to
be your maid of honor and it's like you're not married,
I don't care, make them you're made of honor. Whatever
you want.

Speaker 6 (48:39):
Yeah, it's like, is it would it be better to,
you know, have the cultural like tradition and then have
a terrible made of honor or ignore.

Speaker 5 (48:47):
The tradition, have a great made of honor. What's swoon?

Speaker 1 (48:49):
What do we want to do? Come on, we do
have an update.

Speaker 6 (48:53):
So my bachelorette was this past weekend, and my future
sisters in law attempted to make the weekend about themselves
as usual. In addition to my fiance's middle sister bringing
along her husband and the two kids, the oldest sister
brought her new boyfriend and let us know at the
last second. Oh yes, apparently her new boyfriend was coming
along to keep the other sister's husband company since they

(49:15):
were supposed to be away from the bachelorette events. I
messaged both sisters when we started driving to Vegas, and
I didn't hear back from them. I arrived at the
hotel and let my fiance know our room number to
pass along to his sister, and I later saw in
his text that she responded to him right away.

Speaker 5 (49:29):
At this point, neither of them had communicated anything to me.

Speaker 6 (49:32):
I wanted everyone to meet in the main hotel room,
which my other bridesmaids spent hours decorating, and because I
had put together gift bags full of weekend essential items.
They failed to show up early enough before dinner on
the first night, so we just had to meet them
in the lobby.

Speaker 5 (49:46):
They let us know that they would text us when
they would be coming out with us.

Speaker 6 (49:49):
After dinner, the rest of us went back to the
main hotel room and waited for an hour before I
texted them to see if they were coming. Apparently they
had decided not to come out because they were tired,
although I'm a sou that they went out with their
partners instead. The whole weekend continued like this, with them
being non responsive and not participating. I'm honestly not sure
why they even came anyway. As I'm driving back from

(50:10):
the bachelorette around eight pm on Sunday night, the oldest
sister calls me and lets me know that she's going
bridesmaid dress shopping tomorrow at eleven am. She literally she
was like, yeah, I'll let you know, we can coordinate that,
and then she's like okay.

Speaker 5 (50:22):
In eight hours she.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
Like it's like, hey, by the way, I hope you're
not busy.

Speaker 5 (50:26):
In yeah, like a meal, Yeah exactly.

Speaker 6 (50:31):
I told her I have an appointment and asked if
we can go after and she said no, that's the
only possible time that she can go before she heads
back to her house out of state. I let her
know that she will still have to send pictures of
anything before she buys it, and she agrees. I'm a
bit peeved at this point, since I was with them
all weekend and she waited until less than twenty four
hours in advance to let me know about dress shopping.

(50:51):
I texted her the next day and said, on the
second thought, it would be better if we went the next.

Speaker 5 (50:55):
Day, when I would be able to join.

Speaker 6 (50:57):
She replied and said that they were actually not even
going shop that day since she had decided to stay
in Vegas longer with her boyfriend and they were still
driving back. I was annoyed since she made it out
like that was the only possible time that she could
go dress shopping, but also believed now that I would
be able to go with.

Speaker 5 (51:12):
Since her style is very ugly.

Speaker 6 (51:14):
Bride typically picks out all the bride's maid dresses, so
I was worried that she would pick something hideous and
it would actually look like I forced her into whatever ugly.

Speaker 5 (51:21):
Dress she picks.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
She just picks like a court gesture's outfit from the
Vile Times exactly.

Speaker 6 (51:28):
Anyway, I never heard back from her after I said, oh, good,
that will work better in response to her saying that
they would be going dress shopping the next day.

Speaker 5 (51:35):
The next day rolls around and at eleven am.

Speaker 6 (51:37):
I received a picture of her in the most hideous
dress I've ever seen.

Speaker 5 (51:40):
She asked, is.

Speaker 6 (51:41):
This the right color? And I said yes, But I
thought I was coming along with dress shopping.

Speaker 1 (51:45):
Oof.

Speaker 6 (51:46):
She said I was unclear about wanting to come, and
I said pictures were fine. I told her, okay, at
this point, get whatever you want, because I'm honestly just
over both of my fiance's raggedy BT sisters. Mind you,
these women are a decade older than me, so I'm
especially shocked by their immature behavior.

Speaker 5 (52:02):
Oh did she act like my comment was the end
of the world.

Speaker 6 (52:05):
She sent me a text so long that I had
to scroll through it, calling me disrespectful multiple times. I
told her, absolutely not, you are the disrespectful one here.
As the bride, I should not be begging to insert
myself in a bride'smaid dress shopping multiple times. It should
be common sense that I want to participate in all
of my wedding related events, which includes.

Speaker 5 (52:25):
Bridesmaid dress shopping. And there is a little bit more
to the story.

Speaker 6 (52:28):
But what do we think I think is she can
mooted dude, Like, I feel like this is where that's heading.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
I'm not a wedding year. I'm not a weddinger yep,
but a wedding year. Like, I'm like, all right, this
is all we gotta figure this out because this is
the wrong like the wrong people are in charge of things. Yeah. Yeah,
so those you know, if the bride'smaid dresses are horrific,
I'm like, well, we're not doing that.

Speaker 6 (52:52):
Yeah, And I'm yeah, and this reaction to conflict and confrontation,
I would just be like, okay, so no, I'm not
being disrespectful. I don't like what's happening right now. I
don't want you to be a bridesmaid anymore. You can
wear what you want because you're not going to be
standing up.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
So yeah, I think if you're planning a wedding, yep,
and one of your you know, that maid of honor
who's supposed to be your right hand is like it's
coming to you. Gotta just get rid of it. Get
a right hand that's going to help.

Speaker 6 (53:23):
You exactly, fight, fight back, exactly exactly. There's a little
bit more to the story, so let's finish it all up.
My fiance called her later on and it came out
that she was pissed that we had denied her new
boyfriend a spot in the wedding party. As of now,
she stepped down from being a bridesmaid, and she's blaming
it on me being picky about the dress shopping. Anyways,
I could really give two craps to what she's blaming

(53:44):
it on. I'm happy her negative energy won't be affecting
my day. I'm so done with trying to please his family.
That is the end of that story. She didn't even
need to kick her out. Trash took itself out.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
Trash took itself out all right, good because if you
did kick her out then it would probably start a
whole thing of like, ooh, you such a power hung
We love right, And it's like no, I just my
right hand's fighting me.

Speaker 5 (54:08):
Yeah, Like now in this situation, you're like, this isn't
this isn't up to me. I can't be blamed here?

Speaker 1 (54:12):
Can I have to be blamed? Just ever called for
Italian hands. It's like, what are we doing?

Speaker 5 (54:18):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (54:19):
I didn't do that. You didn't I didn't. I Oh,
thank you? Tom Tom sent me?

Speaker 5 (54:25):
Okay, Tom Tom.

Speaker 1 (54:26):
Cool. But that is the end of that story. Hey,
it's Sam. We'll get back to the stories. But here's
three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My mother in
law leaked our baby's gender. We wanted to keep it
a surprised Oh my gosh, spoiler alert on the gender.
What So I, twenty six female, and my husband thirty
two male, married for two years, together for five aren't

(54:48):
expecting our first child. We are both thrilled and excited
for our new arrival. I am not fussed on the
gender of my baby, and neither is my husband. We
just want a healthy and happy baby. Thus, we have
not found out the gender. Rather, we want a surprise,
or at least I thought. By the way, this comes
from user weird Fishermen ninety six thirty eight, and if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the

(55:10):
r slash okay storytime subreddit. So I had a pretty
good relationship with my mother in law. Thus I have
been updating her on my progress, giving her the ultrasound
images and so on and so forth. I'm about eight
months in not long ago now, and my mother in
law has been aching to know that gender, constantly asking
if we have changed our minds, and time after time

(55:31):
my husband and I say our minds are set on
a surprise. However, this all changed recently. We live in
a small town. I had some mutual family friends approach
me in the middle of the supermarket and congratulate me
and my husband on having a baby and how exciting
it is to have a little bully.

Speaker 6 (55:48):
The boy.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
First, I was taken aback and expressed that we do
not know the gender of the baby. That's where the
family friends reply that, oh, yes, mother in law told
us it was a boy. I didn't say anything at
that time. I just smiled and turned to my husband
and kind of just went, you need to investigate this.
He called his mother asked for an explanation, and she
explained that she asked her friend, showed images of the

(56:12):
ultrasound and she confirmed it was a boy. My mother
in law has gone and told everyone. I'm furious that
I the mother am finding this out last when I
did not even want to know in the first place.
My husband questioned her and was told that I just
wanted to know and I couldn't keep it to myself.
My husband cussed her out furiously, explaining that it was

(56:33):
not okay. I then grabbed the phone and a laid
into her, expressing my deep disappointment and anger in how
I don't want to see her for a while. My
husband completely shares and supports my anger. However, my two
sister in laws and two brother in laws called me
the A hole and expressed that I shouldn't talk to
her like that. She's very upset about this. You overreacted.

(56:56):
It's not even that bad. My husband completely supports me
in this, but I find it strange that no other
family members have contacted him and called him the A hole.
Maybe I did overreact. I would love any constructive feedback.
So am I the A hole? And there is an update.
We live in Australia, so we have a privacy act

(57:16):
called APPS or APPS nice. I'm honestly not interested in
a lawsuit. I would simply rather just have the baby
in peace and not worry about the legalities. However, my
husband has contacted his family and called for a family
meeting with his mother and siblings for tonight. Note his father,
my father in law, has nothing to do with his
mother divorced, and he supports me and my husband fully.

(57:38):
My husband said it's up to me if I wish
to attend, and we have another update here.

Speaker 8 (57:44):
I feel like this again, I could be completely wrong
because I'm not an expert or lawyer, I think, but
it feels like it's not necessarily like illegal or an
ethical or something like that. But it definitely feels a
little uncool. I guess I don't know.

Speaker 6 (57:58):
Yeah, Like with just how happened, Like if you're gonna
share an ultrasound try to figure out what what gender
the baby is, you gotta warn I'm like, hey, by
the way, like the parents don't know the gender, just
so like keep it a surprise, even if it's like
even if you don't think that they're gonna talk because
maybe that happened. Maybe the mother in law didn't think
that they would talk about it, and like didn't think
it would come up, but obviously it did, and now

(58:19):
it's a big bummer because they got spoiled.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
Yeah, I think the biggest part is just the fact
that it was the results or quote unquote results, because
it was just like one person looking at it, right,
So it's I mean, they could even be wrong, like yeah,
they could be like, yeah, it's a boy, and they
might even be right. Yeah. So but just the fact
that it was immediately blasted out to every single person
that you know, mother in law knows, to the point

(58:42):
where someone's walking up to them in the grocery store
and being like, congrats on the baby boy. That's a
lot of people that now know.

Speaker 5 (58:49):
A lot of people.

Speaker 6 (58:50):
But I wonder, like, what's even the point I'm trying
to figure out if it's illegal, Like, are you guys
planning on doing anything about it?

Speaker 5 (58:55):
Like, I mean it is like, look like we could
just be mad at what happened.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
I think our bible here is that when like hipp
or medical privacy laws are broken, it should be like
sought after, prosecuted. I get. I think it's what we
usually land on.

Speaker 6 (59:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
I don't think that was done here, at least not
by mother in law. I think it might have been
if anyone did anything wrong, it was your friend. But anyways,
moving forward, moving forward, let's see what this second update
has a lot has happened in the last couple of days.
I needed some time to think and life just happens.
So where do I start? Family meeting? I decided to
attend so I could gather first hand information rather than

(59:32):
my husband providing me a recount. I also decided to
attend as this is something I need to deal with
myself and not just allow my husband to do the
talking and essentially hide behind him. We arrived and immediately
the atmosphere was tense. Did I cling on to my
husband like a little girl? Yes? Yes I did, Alas
when we finally made it to the table, everyone was

(59:53):
sitting in silence mother in law, both sisters, and both brothers.
It was so bloody awkward I BELI leave. The only
thing that extinguished the awkwardness was my husband immediately cutting
to the point and explaining that he will not tolerate
any disrespect to his wife direct quote from any of
U a holes, and that he felt disrespected and that
his mother had no right to inquire about the gender

(01:00:15):
of the baby the way she went about it and
how she told people. Immediately, the atmospheres shifted. My mother
in law looked tense and guilty and Both my brother
in law and one of my sister in laws looked horrified.
My sister in law immediately explained, mother in law did
not tell me this. She told me you mistreated her
over her simply wanting to know the gender of the baby.

(01:00:38):
How the tables have turned. Three of my sibling in
laws were enraged that their mother had lied and tried
to spin the story her way. They all apologized profusely
to me, explaining they did not know. The table exploded
with cusses thrown at mother in law from all three
of the siblings, all expressing some variation of mom that

(01:00:58):
was not okay, that's you didn't have the right to
do this. I'm not saying I enjoyed watching this throwdown.
I most definitely did, though, but I appreciated how my
sibling in laws immediately apologized to me and my husband
and supported our claim. My mother in law broke into
tears and apologized for her actions and expressed her heartfelt
sincerest apologies. I would like to say that I believe

(01:01:19):
I'm very forgiving person. However, I did not forgive.

Speaker 5 (01:01:23):
Yeah, you don't really like.

Speaker 6 (01:01:24):
Owe her an immediate like forgiveness. I think I always
think that like, the best reaction to an apology is
just thank you, and then you don't have to be like, ah,
it's okay, like I forgive you whatever. Just say thank
you for the apology and then forgive in your own time.
You don't have to respond with that right away, so
you're fine. Op, it's okay.

Speaker 1 (01:01:42):
I suppose my unforgivenness stems from the fact that she
only seems somewhat apologetic once the majority of the family
heard the truth and turned against her. My husband agrees
that it doesn't sit right. We are also having a
tough time with my husband's sister, Lena. She still believes
that it's not and I quote the biggest of deals,
and I still overreactive. Lena and I have never got along,

(01:02:05):
and I suppose I expect nothing different, as she's, in
nice terms, a total bee. That's being nice. She must
take after your mother in law. My husband has explained
to his mother that we are taking a step back
from her life as our privacy was breached, and that
we expect a drastic change in behavior if she wishes
to meet her grandchild. My other sister in law, let's
call her Judy, supports this decision. Entirely, as she too,

(01:02:28):
when pregnant with my nephew, felt pressured in telling her
mother the gender of the baby and felt smothered the
entire pregnancy. Judy has since stayed over at our house
and has helped get things ready for our little arrival.
She's apologized profusely and couldn't have been a better support
throughout this time. She also believes that her mother has
a lot of change happening in her life and some

(01:02:48):
bloody reflection on her actions. I have obtained the phone
number of my mother in law's friend who read the
ultrasound and had the conversation and clarity with her. The
conversation entailed that my mother in law showed her all
the images I gave her. I gave her every single
one from every scan, and she believed she can see
a nub, apparently eluding that it is a boy. Seeking

(01:03:10):
further clarification, She's no longer a practicing midwife, she's retired
and has no experience reading ultrasounds. To quote her, she
took a guess. Absolutely furious, I expressed how it wasn't
even okay to have a guess. She explained that my
mother in law took it as gospel, and that she
apparently explained that she was only taking a wild guess.

(01:03:30):
She then admitted it was wrong and apologized. I hung up.
I mean, like, let's get a cutter, some slack dude.
She's literally she's retired. She's not even a working midwife.
Her friend calls up and says, I'm sure not with
full context of like, hey, my daughter in law who
absolutely doesn't want to know any of this information or
have it out there at all. Like she's just saying, hey,

(01:03:52):
my daughter in law's been sending me these ultra sounds.
Do you think you can tell? Yeah, she's going, Oh,
I mean I don't know. I definitely can't at all
in any way. But if I had to take a
complete guess, I yeah, I mean maybe it's a boy.

Speaker 6 (01:04:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:04:04):
And then she's like, oh my god, it's a boy.

Speaker 1 (01:04:06):
And she's probably just like.

Speaker 5 (01:04:07):
So excited to be grandma.

Speaker 6 (01:04:09):
And then she started talking to everyone, which I can understand,
like I feel like this can be like it's very disappointing,
but they she might be wrong, Like some people in
the chow were like, just watch her be a girl,
like or she said boy on purpose because she knew
the word would spread.

Speaker 1 (01:04:24):
So in a way, if you want to take like
the silver lining the Alchemist, take on this. Yeah, by
exposing the the gender of your kid is male or
a boy, whatever, Yeah, low key, you're being set up
for maybe an even greater surprise. Yeah, because now you
think you know it's a boy. Yeah, but if it's
actually a girl, Yeah, you'd be like whoa, whoa what?

Speaker 6 (01:04:47):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:04:48):
Exactly, There's so many returns to make. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
Yeah, man, I am pissed, not that I was after
a lawsuit, but there's no foundation to acclaim of breaching
confidentiality either way. If this midwife is wrong or right,
I understand, it doesn't excuse any of the actions my
mother in law took and her friend, My husband and
I will be having this child in peace away from
her for quite a while. Disgusting behavior. Honestly, then, even

(01:05:17):
if it is all based on fallacies and wild guesses
and there is a little bit more story left, honestly,
do you have what do you do?

Speaker 6 (01:05:23):
You have?

Speaker 1 (01:05:24):
Any closing thoughts here, any final thoughts out of navigate
this kind of situation. I don't know.

Speaker 5 (01:05:29):
I feel like I feel like I get it.

Speaker 6 (01:05:31):
I get be an upset and I get I'm I'm
thinking maybe if this is such a big deal, maybe
this isn't the first time something similar has happened, like
where the mother in law is like, dude, this isn't
like or the mother in law did something where it's like,
this is not your place to do this, like you can't, yeah,
back off. I'm sure something like that happened, because right
now I'm thinking, like, this isn't that big of a deal. Yeah, apparently,

(01:05:53):
but obviously it is, which is valid, and I'm not
in the situation.

Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
I think it's more information gathering from the other family members. Yeah,
especially the one who was like yeah, she was also
super insistent and annoying when I had my kid.

Speaker 5 (01:06:04):
Then I'll tell her yeah, and it's like I'm gonna
shut her up a little bit.

Speaker 1 (01:06:08):
Let's finish this story. So I'm going in for my
growth scan shortly, and I feel I should just find
out now, like the sex of the baby. I don't
like the idea of being in suspense until he or
she comes in any and all cases. My mother in
law ruined this for my husband and I and I
know by finding it out it depreciates the whole point
of having it be a surprise, but I feel it's
ruined already anyway. Alas my husband and I, if we

(01:06:30):
do choose to find out, mother in law will not
be notified and it will be kept private until the
baby arrives. We will not be entertaining contact and visitations
for quite a while. Me and my husband have cracked
up and some of her replies bringing us some joy
at this time. And that is the end of that story.
Here we go, there we go.

Speaker 5 (01:06:48):
I believe everything can be okay.

Speaker 6 (01:06:51):
This is you know, maybe something that has happened to
the other person the inliblings.

Speaker 1 (01:06:56):
What did you see in liblings?

Speaker 5 (01:06:58):
Inliblings? But but now this is the first experience and
then now they know how to move forward, and that's.

Speaker 1 (01:07:02):
Okay, it'll be fine, guys. Yeah, you just give us
a town of cool off. It's like, yeah, you got
come on. That was come on. Yeah, you know, but
you don't have to cut off forever. I don't think
that's the plan.

Speaker 5 (01:07:14):
So, but that is the end of that story, and
I believe the end of the episode that is true.

Speaker 1 (01:07:18):
Yea, it is. So we love you and see you tomorrow.

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My mother-in-law won’t drop my husband’s EX… so I won’t allow her around my kids! - r/AITAH | Reddit Stories | EP2251

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