My mother SECRETLY hired a private investigator… to find my fiancées family! | Reddit Stories | EP2073

🎁 Become a member and get bonus livestreams on Mondays & Fridays! 
👉 https://www.youtube.com/@OKOPShow/join

👯‍♂️ Hang out with us on Discord! 
👉 [discord.gg/okstorytime](http://discord.gg/okstorytime)

✍️ Have a story? Join our subreddit and submit your story there for a chance to be featured! 
👉 https://www.reddit.com/r/okstorytime/

🏆 Want ad free podcast episodes? Join our Patreon 
👉 https://www.patreon.com/okopshow

👀 Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@OKOPShow

r/JUSTNOMIL - My Mother is Trying to Invite My Girlfriend's Abusive Family to Our Wedding, Advice Needed.

Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated

#reddit #funnyredditposts
okay storytime, okstorytime, okopshow, okop show

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John, this is Sam your og okay storytime
podcast hosts. We have some spectacular stories coming up, but
real quick, we get a two minute break from our
lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
My mother secretly hired a private investigator to find my
fiance's family.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
Well we sometimes you just need a private eye to.

Speaker 4 (00:21):
Find her Bemily II, Emily.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
Oh, I didn't I it never waves, never gonna So
first the short version of the relationships post.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
I'm thirty male marrying the love of my life twenty
seven female. She hates weddings, receptions, and everything wedding related.
She thinks they are boring, but understands the need for
a celebration, so she's planning a huge blowout party after
a simple courthouse wedding. The party is going to have
a lot of guests. My mom hated that we weren't
doing the traditional wedding and trying to get us to

(00:52):
change our minds. We declined. She then tried to get
us to invite some of her friends. I said no,
but made a mistake and mentioned that I was our
inviting a lot of my family when most of my
esso's family wasn't invited. Mom decided that these family members
have to come. They have viewed my wife as a
pariah her entire life, and I don't want them anywhere
near her. And that's when you just say no, sorry,

(01:15):
you can't come.

Speaker 4 (01:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
It's like, if you're not down to celebrate the person,
then why why would you want to be there.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
I know from what my mother has let slip that
she already has invitations she may send out behind our backs.
My aunt let it slip to me that my mother
is going to hire a detective to try and find
my wife's family, specifically her dad's side.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
Got it, Okay, wait what wait? I'm sorry, Yeah, we're
gonna run that back.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
Oh, Pea's mom is like, well, we need to have
all of your wife's family or your fiance's family there,
So I'm going to track them down and force them
to come to our wedding.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
And this is the family that doesn't treat yet very well,
treats her very poorly.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
So I just did that whole thing last night, and
the advice was fairly clear, come to Jesus talk now.
I decided I didn't want to put it off, so
I told my wife I wouldn't be home for dinner
and ask my mother if I could come over. I
got over there with this whole speech in my head,
something to the effect of, Mom, I love you and
I appreciate everything you've ever done for me, But this
is my wedding. Your friends are not invited. ESO's family

(02:22):
is not invited. If you send out those invitations, you
will be disinvited from the wedding. If you invite Esso's family,
you will be removed from my life. I know that
you know Thateso hasn't spoken to them in a long time.
There is a reason for it.

Speaker 4 (02:35):
Leave it alone.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
Why is she so obsessed?

Speaker 4 (02:37):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
It's probably some of them where it's like it has
to happen because it's the wedding.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
They do it, how weddings go, how it's done. I'm
supposed to walk her down the aisle at ghost It's.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
Like, imagine all her family are just like super villains. Yeah,
and they're just like, well, they have to be here.

Speaker 4 (02:53):
It's for the greater goad. It's the wedding.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
Well, I got to start my speech. I think she
wanted to interrupt after the first part, but she saw
how serious I was and stopped herself. She finally did
something once I got to the disinvited part, namely, she
started wailing, how could you to your own mother the
whole bit.

Speaker 4 (03:11):
Well, see the thing is, mom, is it wouldn't happen
as long as you don't send the invice I told you.
She's like, how could you do this?

Speaker 2 (03:17):
OPI has done nothing.

Speaker 4 (03:19):
Yeah, I've done nothing, but be like, don't do don't
do that.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
I just didn't have a bone of empathy at that point,
so I plowed on. I got to the end of
my speech and she started going into a diatribe about
how my ESO has changed me. Accused her of being abusive,
basically called her everything short of Satan for taking away
her little boy. This led to a screaming match and
I left without much being resolved. She hasn't contacted me.

(03:44):
Who has contacted me is my aunt who gave me
the tip off about the PI being hired in the
first place. Apparently my mother invited her along to visit
a detective That seemed promising. So finally what I could
use some advice on. My wife still doesn't know about
any of this. She knows something's up, but I asked
her to give me time to figure it out for myself.

(04:05):
How do I tell her since it's her family. Secondly,
the way that I see it, I have two options
to go with for the day of the wedding. I
call Plan A the straightforward way, and Plan B the
evil way.

Speaker 4 (04:17):
Okay, well, gotta.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
Go the evil way?

Speaker 4 (04:19):
Well, really, are you choosing evil today? Gotta go the
evil way? Well, I guess. Let's see what's in each option.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
You have two wolves in you, the straightforward one and
the evil one. The straightforward way or wolf is to
essentially just wait for my aunt to confirm that Mom
has hired a PI, confront her with the knowledge, and
go no contact. The second, more evil option is to
let her come to the wedding. You see, the place
for holding this blowout is indoors, with only two doors

(04:48):
in and out. I'm going to hire security guards and
put them on each door. I could just hand them
a list of the people who have been invited and
have them turn away my mother's friends and my asso's
family one by one. If if my mother gets a
call from her confused invitees and she freaks out on me,
I'll just tell her coolly that she didn't have my
permission to invite those people, and she better go outside

(05:09):
and apologize to each and every one of them for
stepping out of line. Yeah, the evil option may be
a little too cartoony, but god, it would be satisfied.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
That doesn't even sound evil.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
That didn't even sound that evil. I do think maybe
straightforward is the best way to go, But that didn't
even sound that evil. That was just like, she can
come and if she does what I told her she
can't do, then she has to go apologize to people.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
If anything, it's like I'm going to hire security and
let her deal with the consequences of her own action.

Speaker 4 (05:35):
That doesn't even sound evil at all.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
So evil anyway, advice and other ideas about how to
handle my mother joking or not are appreciated immensely. I
need to tell my wife soon, so that part would
be especially helpful. Thanks everyone, And there is an update. Yeah,
I've figured you guys would appreciate an update, and you've
figured right. Since a lot has happened already, I wanted
to start by saying thank you, YadA, YadA, YadA. Okay.

(05:58):
Second to a point ofarification, the reception we're holding is
my girlfriend's idea. She has wanted to throw a party
exactly like this since she was a teenager, but never
had a chance to until now. This isn't a traditional
reception because she hates those. There's going to be a
pizza bar, salad bar, ice cream bar, and an open bar.
There will be dancing and games for all ages. She's

(06:19):
purposely putting together a play area for kids with babysitters
on hand, just so our friends with kids can come
and not worry about it. There's literally going to be
everything from ballpits to cards against Humanity. I don't want
to take this away from her. This party is her dream. Also,
my mother knows nothing about those particular details. I learned
the term CBF from this sub What is that she be?

Speaker 3 (06:41):
Child ceremony, ceremony, balloon fight, Yeah, celebratory ballroom frolicking.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
Oooh okay, And I was just imagining her glorious.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
Oh no, I want to say something face yeah, like beeface,
like C word, B word face, confused butt face.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
I knew, I knew I had to tell her about
everything that had happened, though. That's part of the reason
I stopped replying to comments as early as I did.
My wife got home. I sat her down and told
her what my mother was planning to do. She pretty
much knew the rest already, though I also imagine that
my mother definitely had fake invitations she'd planned to send out.
She listened, and her face just got hard when I

(07:26):
mentioned her family, but she kept listening. When I was done,
she said, Okay, they aren't coming. I agreed. We had
to plan a plot. There is a deposit down on
the venu, but the date is far enough out that
it could be transferred to a different date. She upped
it by a week. My mom will not be told
until the day up. Ooh, so she's going to tell everyone, Oh,
you had to come to my son's wedding, it's on

(07:47):
this day. And then op's going to be like day of. Oh,
just let you know the wedding was changed to the
next week. Yeah, or maybe maybe not day of. You
would tell him day of the new wedding day.

Speaker 3 (07:57):
You just got to plant the secret, the seat date,
the secret fake date exactly.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
My mom will not be told until the day of.
My wife also agreed to the extra security measures. What
we are having trouble the sighting is how to handle
two things. One is how to handle it. If her
family does show up, she figures there's a good chance
most of them won't, but she always figures there's a
good chance a few of them will. And if my
mom invents a story about a tearful family reunion, she

(08:23):
fears that more of them will fall for it. She
doesn't want to see any of them, and frankly, I
don't blame her. I ask my aunt to go ahead
with my mom to the appointment with the PI, thinking
maybe she could get the contact information and I could
call the PI and let them know what's up. But
I don't know if that will work. My asso already
feels bad that we're involving my aunt. When I express
that sentiment to my aunt, she was unconcerned. You did

(08:45):
mention she wanted to get my mother checked out with
the mental health professional, though her behavior has gotten significantly
worse lately, so I'm not opposed at all. After that
long ramble, that brings us the other debate, how to
handle my mom. Do we disinvite her outright or go
the right out of letting her come and letting her
deal with the fallout from the fake invitations. We want
to be able to keep tabs on her in case

(09:05):
she tries anything else. But as things stand, the arrangement
we have with my aunt for blowing the whistle when
she hears something is working out great. We're afraid if
we do much else, Mom, we'll realize where we're getting
the information from and my aunt will be put on
an information diet. You have to keep your mole in place.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
You have to give her away the informant, yes, do whistle,
keep your sources anonymous.

Speaker 4 (09:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:28):
And plant the fake information. Yeah, plant some fake info,
little little breadcrumb.

Speaker 4 (09:34):
Mm hmm. And then she'll be like, how could you
deceive me?

Speaker 2 (09:37):
Lie to me?

Speaker 3 (09:38):
It's like, because look what you were doing, you're about
to do which I told you not to do.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
That To clarify my mother isn't coming one way or another.
I mean, yeah, you're telling her a fake day. I'm
just figuring out how to balance disinviting her with the
need to keep tabs on her in case she tries
anything completely nuts. We're weighing our options carefully, but wanted
to share thanks for it the support. Wanted to let
you know that my wife will be reading too, though
she's debating actually chiming in or not and there is

(10:03):
a second update. But do you have any thoughts on
their plot?

Speaker 4 (10:07):
I think the plot is going well so far.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
You know, you might end up just reaching a point
where it's like, all right, no more plot. It's like,
don't just you need to be like, don't do this.
We all know, we know you're doing this.

Speaker 4 (10:17):
Stop.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
If you don't stop, you're going to cause irreparable damage
to our relationship.

Speaker 4 (10:22):
Don't stop.

Speaker 3 (10:23):
And and that's that. But like, as of right now, the
plot is fun.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
The plot is fun. The plot is fun sting. It's
adding a little bit of levity, a little bit of
childlike wonder.

Speaker 3 (10:33):
Yeah, because it's making the best out of a very annoying,
obnoxious situation.

Speaker 4 (10:39):
And it's like, let's let's.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
Let's least play games. But let's get into this next update.
This one is going to be a bit shorter. But
a couple of things have happened that I thought you
guys would appreciate. Mom knew the daytime and where the
party was going to happen, but not any other details.
She wanted to be part of the planning. But the
party is just my wife's baby is just my wife's baby.
She's not even letting her friends touch this thing unless

(11:02):
she needs assistance with something specific. At the time, we
didn't see the issue with giving my mother these basic
pieces of information, which I guess was short sighted on
our parts. Oh no, she's got to use the bread
crumbs to find the trail.

Speaker 4 (11:15):
You can't.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
You can't let her follow the bread crumbs back to
the home base.

Speaker 4 (11:19):
To the gingerbread house.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
Ah, your spy careers is coming to an end quick.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
Terrible. Also, this isn't the first time my mother has
tried to be controlling over me and my relationships. This
is the most extreme case, but certainly isn't the first.
This also isn't the first time she's really gone after
my wife, though again, not anything this extreme. Part of
the reason I even wrote initially was to temper my
own need for what can only be seen as revenge.

(11:45):
So I really appreciate it when people temper my responses.
All I'm thinking about that are four tempers? Whoa frolic?
Is it malice? And dread?

Speaker 4 (11:54):
What is that severance?

Speaker 2 (11:57):
Just so everyone knows, the wedding itself is happening in
late June. That's my freaking birthday time.

Speaker 4 (12:02):
Birthdaytime.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
You can't do it that we're celebrating my birthday time hours. Well,
but you're not late June.

Speaker 3 (12:09):
Actually he came first, so June belongs to him. It
says late June. Late June is doesn't belongs to him.

Speaker 2 (12:16):
And the party is happening early July. Because these events
are coming up, my wife knew that we really had
to get the invitations out. At this point, we were
still going back and forth on how to handle my mother.
Invite or not invite, to be or not to be Horatio,
that is the question ratio, Yeah, don't don't invite her.

Speaker 4 (12:36):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
We had some time to decide since my wife needed
to get new invitations printed with a new date. Anyway,
my wife came up with the perfect idea based on
a combination of the comments from the last post. Once
the new invitations come in, she's going to send them
out to everyone. My mother, on the other hand, is
going to accidentally get an invitation from the old batch
with the wrong date. Oh, no, accidental.

Speaker 4 (13:01):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (13:01):
Like, now I'm getting to the point where it's like
you should just directly confront her and be like, you're
not going because you would be a headache and you've
been unsupportive of my wife and is a day for
both of us.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
I think they're just a little bit worried that she's
going to like figure out and go anywhere even if
they especially if they uninvite her.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
I'm gonna high and be like, I'm gonna hire my
own private investigator to investigate you.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, yeah, you ain't getting within like punt in distance.
Yeah she may find out, but that's easy to write
off as a mistake. If she does figure it out,
this plan, as much as I love it, may not
come to pass because of the second thing. The second
thing is that we have an appointment with a lawyer.
We want to know what our legal options are in
this situation before we blow it up by officially uninviting her,

(13:44):
which we are leaning towards now. But also in regards
to my wife's family, I've decided that my communications with
my mother are going to be over text, and I've
started shopping for security cameras. This is all going to
at least be in the process before we have that
uninviting discussion. I don't know what my mother is going
to do, but I'm going to be prepared for anything.
A lawyer, I guess maybe your like restraining order. I

(14:07):
don't know.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
I guess what like it's like, you legally have to
let me attend your wedding.

Speaker 4 (14:14):
You invited me.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
I have no I have it writing ps. I feel
like my mother needs a nickname at this point, since
I'm planning on keeping you guys updated throughout ideas.

Speaker 4 (14:25):
Oh boy, oh boy, just keep calling your mother.

Speaker 3 (14:27):
Let's call her Margaret, mom, mat Mom, Grit thatcher, Mom.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
Grit thatcher.

Speaker 4 (14:33):
That Scha the snatcher is what they called her because
she's snatching.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
No in Australia, Well, at least that's what my mom said.
In Australia, they called her that Scha the snatcher because
they all hated her.

Speaker 4 (14:46):
Yeah, money, Yeah, that Scha the snatcher.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
Update three, Holy crap, it's been busy, you guys. This
is going to be a long post. It's all going
to be a long post. This is seven thousand words. First,
we had that conversation with the lawyer. We've talked about
a lot of different things. Most of it was general
advice and one thing is in the works in case
everything goes sideways. The big discussion ended up being about
the PI. He essentially said there wasn't much that we

(15:12):
could do as long as he wasn't breaking any laws,
but that didn't mean we couldn't go see him ourselves
and plead our case the PI. Oh, they're going to
go directly to the PI and say, please, please stop
piing all.

Speaker 4 (15:24):
Over the place.

Speaker 5 (15:25):
Yeah, Tom Sellick stopped being Tom Sellick cases.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
Stop pyeing on me, dude. Yeah, so that's what we did. However,
we took one poster's advice and got in contact with
my aunt first, the one who tipped us off about
all of this, and subsequently went with my mom to
the first meeting.

Speaker 4 (15:41):
With the PI.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
She agreed to do it in exchange for lunch and
some conversation. I was never very close with my aunt
until about five years ago. Despite growing up in the
same town she lived in. I never saw her that much,
and our relationship grew independently of my mother. I brought
up my concerns again about her being alienated from my mother,
which she was kind of dismissive before she repeated her
initial assessment that my mother may have some mental health

(16:04):
issues going on. But then she went into stories from
her childhood. I won't repeat them here because they aren't
my stories. To tell, but my aunt has finally gotten
to the end of her rope after a lifetime of
abuse from her sister. She doesn't care if this burns
a bridge. As far as she's concerned, she'll gladly lend
some gasoline to the fire. We decided we would try

(16:25):
for a weekly lunch together. Honestly, just swap your aunt
your mom. Just make your aunt your mom.

Speaker 4 (16:30):
Yeah, and get rid of your mom. Mom swap mom
swap like that. Did you guys ever watch the movie
wife Swap?

Speaker 2 (16:36):
You mean the show wife Swap?

Speaker 4 (16:37):
Did I say movie?

Speaker 5 (16:38):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (16:38):
You eat it? Well?

Speaker 3 (16:40):
You mean the show mental gymnastics. They are moving pictures. Yeah,
so back in the day, back in the back in
the og day. Are we back in the day, right
back in the day when people were afraid that the
train was going to come through the screen?

Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, yeah, we've all heard the story.

Speaker 4 (16:53):
They would still call it a movie.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
So after that, all three of us, aunt, wife and
me went to the PI. He'd definitely reckoned, guys, my aunt.
When we first walked in, we pleaded our case, my
wife doing most of the talking. She explained why she
wasn't in contact with her family anymore, and why she
didn't want mother in law to have the contact information.
I told him I'd pay him not to investigate everything.

(17:14):
He was quiet through it all and at the end
said that we had given him a lot to think about.
He's like, yes, there's so much to think about about
how to get money from both of you?

Speaker 3 (17:25):
Yes, so much money from your mom? Did about my revenution.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
My finances. You're both offering me great deals.

Speaker 3 (17:35):
As proposal, I spy on both of you at the
same time.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
Did you think about that? Didn't think about that?

Speaker 3 (17:41):
To do?

Speaker 2 (17:42):
I think we should hire a private investigator to spy
on one of us. Yeah, but like we know, we know,
and so we have to try and like hide. It's
like amazing race, except there's a private investigator. And also I.

Speaker 4 (17:54):
Guess it's not really amazing for Riley.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
No, but but I think we would have to tell
him so that because otherwise I feel like it would
be incredibly easy.

Speaker 4 (18:01):
You mean, like it would be incredibly easy.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
We already knew what we already know what Riley does.
But let's say Riley knows about the PI and he
has to actively hide from the PI, so like hide.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
And seek, but with the PI. Yeah, So I was
just hide and seek p I and see with the PI.
P I didn't scenk and seek, p I didn't seek.
He was quiet through it all. And we said, that
sounds like it sounds like I'm saying Pete in the sink.

Speaker 5 (18:24):
He'd under sync we already had yesterday with John. Let's
not what What was.

Speaker 4 (18:29):
John talking about? Pain is growth?

Speaker 3 (18:35):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Right, we are sure that the p I decided to
go ahead with it. Anyway, we haven't heard anything to
indicate he had any sort of sympathy. We've been making
more detailed contingency plans in case they show up so
my wife never has to see them. And last, but
certainly not least, I had the big discussion with my
mother or disinvited discussion. Yes, you guys, I actually did it.
And it's like a million tons of brick bricks off

(18:58):
my shoulders.

Speaker 4 (18:59):
Yeah. See, that's that's good. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
I was at her house. She had invited me to dinner.
I told her I knew about the extra invitations and
her hiring a PI to find wife's family. She immediately
started denying, but I told her I went to see
the same PI she had hired. She gave this big,
dramatic sigh and said something along the lines of, well,
it was going to be surprised, but I wanted to
give wife a family reunion for her wedding that she

(19:22):
didn't want. That you've been told multiple times she did
not want.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
I'm trying to like think of like a pop culture
character with an evil family that they wouldn't want to see.

Speaker 4 (19:31):
It'd be like, I don't know, It'd be like like if.

Speaker 3 (19:33):
One of the kids from a Series of Unfortunate Events
was getting married and they were like, well, we we
just wanted to reunite you with your crazy estranged uncle
count all Law really the plot of Series of Unfortunate right,
But it's like if they grow up and get married
and then in Law is like.

Speaker 4 (19:50):
Well, yeah, I just figured that you're out. The guy
who raised you should be there. It's like he's literally evil.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
That absolutely would be a plot in Series of Unfortunate Events.

Speaker 3 (20:00):
Were they just errand for someone invited to the wedding
and they're like stop inviting off.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
They're like, no, no, no, this isn't ol Off, this
is your uncle Boloff and is like hello, absolutely would
be a plot.

Speaker 4 (20:14):
All right to write the script?

Speaker 2 (20:16):
Oh man, you know the show is actually quite good.
I really liked the show.

Speaker 4 (20:19):
I did not watch it. Is Jim Carrey in the show? No, yeah,
so that's why I won't watch it.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
It's Neil Patrick Harris, and he does a great job.

Speaker 4 (20:26):
He'll always be Doctor Horrible to me.

Speaker 2 (20:28):
He's a really good job. But the movie's also great.

Speaker 4 (20:30):
Have you never seen Doctor Horrible sing a long blog?

Speaker 3 (20:32):
Nope?

Speaker 4 (20:32):
My god, you would like that.

Speaker 5 (20:34):
He's Neil Patrick Harris.

Speaker 4 (20:35):
To me, you never seen that. It's probably just before
your time, Okay, Lich is a little bit.

Speaker 5 (20:38):
He's Neil Patrick Harris's Neil Patrick har.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
I reminded her that I had told her that they
weren't invited for a reason. She started saying that there
was no way that this wasn't happening at her Yes,
as in p m's I'm assuming mother's wedding and I
completely lost it. And so now it's her wedding. Now
it's your mom's wedding.

Speaker 4 (20:56):
Wait a minute, I'm confused. Wait what no, no, no, no,
what what what happened? What happened?

Speaker 2 (21:00):
The mom just says, so she's telling Oh, he's telling
his mom, oh, you're not invited to the wedding, and
she's like this is terrible.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
This can't be happening at my wedding. And he's like,
you start your wedding, why is it? Like, I don't
understand it. That's your son's wedding. Your son can be
an extension of you, but that's not your wedding. It's
his wedding.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
All of my careful planning for what I was going
to say went out the window. I screamed at her,
she wailed, and I left it off. In the midst
of the screaming, I made sure to tell her she
was disinvited from the wedding and the party. I also
told her I don't want to see her again. The
camel's back snapped, naf No, not the camel. Beyond that,

(21:42):
we've been setting up the house with security cameras. Wife
is happily putting the finishing touches on all the planning
now and has started putting together the minimal decorations. We're
completely set for the extinction burst that everyone has warned
us about. I have never felt more at peace with
my life.

Speaker 4 (21:58):
What is the extinction burs? I think did I miss?

Speaker 2 (22:01):
I don't extinction first. I think they just mean, like.

Speaker 4 (22:04):
Are these dinosaurs getting married, yeah, or or like we've
heard that.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
There's a comment that's going to crash into the Yucatan Peninsula, but.

Speaker 4 (22:12):
We're taking it with a grain of salt.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
Also, I got a job offered about five hundred miles
away that would start in September. Wife had started putting
in for positions in the same area. Okay, So you'll
be five hundred miles away from your mother, Okay. Nice.
Several of our friends actually ended up moving to that
same area. They're flying in for the parties, So this
could be interesting. That sounds like it's.

Speaker 4 (22:36):
All working out for you, Okay.

Speaker 3 (22:37):
And to be clear, the extinction comment was a behavioral
management reference, because when something is going extinctive fights harder.
So it's probably just like being prepared for like the
mom's last hurrah to be like nah.

Speaker 4 (22:52):
And it's just like two eight Mom, five hundred miles away.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
Bye update? Or I guess I was hoping for too much.
I hadn't heard from party monster, I'm assuming mother for
about six days after our discussion, long enough that I
wondered if she had gotten the message and was leaving
us alone. Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking either.
Mom calls on Friday morning, reminding me that Mother's Day
was incoming and that she expected me to be available

(23:16):
for our usual plans, with hat in hand, ready to apologize.
Not gonna happen. I simply didn't call her back.

Speaker 3 (23:22):
She's like, it's the day that you're legally required to
forgive me for everything I done.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
Yeah, and I'm going to tell you a list of
all the things that I've been doing bad. And I
did a lot of wrong stuff. But I waited until
Mother's Day to tell you because you can't be mad
at me.

Speaker 4 (23:36):
Now you can't be mad at me, and you have
to forgive me legally than you. I talked to a lawyer.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
When she hadn't heard from me on Friday night, she
called again, leaving another message reminding me of Mother's Day.
When she hadn't heard from me on Saturday, I could
tell she went into panic mode. My phone blew up
and the messages became increasingly desperate. There's one where she's
just sobbing. My mom doesn't cry, literally, I've never seen
her actually cry. She has perfected the fake I want

(24:02):
attention cry, and it sounded exactly like that. I was
just like, ooh, rise me, you wedding mean I need
to be at my wedding. I mean your wedding.

Speaker 4 (24:17):
What's yours?

Speaker 3 (24:18):
Is?

Speaker 2 (24:18):
My fiance and I left on Mother's Day to go
do some things in another town, and I turned my
phone off to avoid the constant ringing. When we got back,
we found a note on our door from my mother.
She was threatening to call the cops if we didn't answer.
She just wanted her mother's day, et cetera. She calls
the cops and she's like, my son, I'm celebrate Mother's

(24:40):
Day for me now.

Speaker 4 (24:41):
Please have him arrested. He won't celebrate with me, and
he won't forgive me. Please, please, please, please, mister policeman.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
There's been radio silence since that incident. I don't know
if that was the start of the extinction first, or
if what I said to her last time hadn't sunk in.
I'm sure it has now. Update on our own lives.
Fiance got an interview in that city five hundred miles away.
Hopefully things will fall into place soon. If everything goes
according to plan, we'll leave quietly in August.

Speaker 5 (25:12):
I'm sorry, but five hundred miles seems so specific.

Speaker 3 (25:14):
We'll walk five miles and you best believe that he'd
walk five hundred more.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
No, no, no, but there is there is another update,
if you could believe it.

Speaker 3 (25:25):
It's going to be like a new branch of law
was invented, called mom law, mom law.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
And now she's forcing us to see her on.

Speaker 3 (25:33):
Mother's she stole the magna carta because.

Speaker 4 (25:37):
Are they in the United States. They're in England. No, oh,
I don't know, not in England.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
Yeah, I haven't been saying.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
Mom oh, that's that's fair. Yeah, well, maybe she didn't
steal a mandic car. The joke was that she was
adding mom law into a prestigious fatal document and then
trying to be.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
Like, see, it's in the constitution. Update five. I got
a call on Friday while I was at work. Ah,
it was on my cell phone and things were really
busy that day, so I didn't even check what it was.
Sure enough, it was Mother. She called to let me
know that she had dropped off a package at my doorstep.
She knew she was uninvited from the wedding, but she

(26:14):
wanted my wife to have this token to police consider
wearing YadA YadA, YadA, fake crying the entire time. I
end up getting home before fiance and go inside to
open the package. Inside is my mother's wedding dress, nicely
sealed in one of those boxes that dry cleaners will
use to preserve clothes. Now, let me explain to you
why I broke down laughing at this quote unquote peace offer.

(26:37):
I never knew my father. He passed away when I
was about two, which is why he hadn't come up
at all in previous posts. My mother didn't grieve normally
for whatever reason, and ended up staying angry for a
long time. She smeared my father's name to me for
years and refused to let me meet my paternal grandparents
when I lived under her roof. I finally did it
behind her back when I was in college. Lovely people,

(26:58):
I send them invitations, the what.

Speaker 3 (27:00):
The what she's taking, just the not letting you meet
your your grandparents, your grandparents, and then also slam dunking
on your deceased no longer alive father.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
When she complained about my father, you would have thought
that he was passed away beat dad rather than a
passed away guy he abandoned us. Oh sorry, like he
was a D. D was a d beat dead. I'm
trying to It doesn't make sense if I say passed
away beat dad.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
Indeed beat daddy accent.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
That he abandoned us was strong for god knows what reason.
The big centerpiece of her complaint, though, was their wedding.
He was a cheap skate, she said, and he would
only allow them to get married in a courthouse. She
only managed to get her wedding dress because it was
on such a sale. It was cheap and ugly, but
at least she hadn't that. The reality of the situation,
as told by my grandparents, is that my father and
mom were incredibly poor since they were a young couple,

(27:54):
and their finances simply wouldn't allow them a big wedding.
She wanted a big wedding and had a tantrum over it.
My grandparents used different words, but I could tell that's
what they meant, and she ended up getting a cheap
wedding gown in order to make herself feel better about
not being treated like a real princess for a day. Now,
with all the history behind it, and with everything else
going on between me and my mother, this would already

(28:14):
feel like any alman coming from her, but the fact
that she had to complained about this dress, calling it
cheap and ugly on more than one occasion. Is what
really did it? Mom goes to church bright and early
every Sunday. My fiance and I taped the package and
put it back on her doorstep, and there is another update.
It just they keep coming.

Speaker 4 (28:31):
Can't she just like leave it alone.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
Like she's a nightmare.

Speaker 3 (28:37):
It's been made clear to you that you are not
wanted here in any way she.

Speaker 2 (28:43):
Orformed due to your behavior. Indeed, so back aw get
out of here. How she didn't think this would be
a thing obvious? I have no idea for those who
missed it. Last time, my mother tried to gift my
fiance her old wedding dress to wear. My mother complained
about this dress all throughout my childhood, essentially calling it
hideous and also using it as a focal point to

(29:04):
complain about her wedding and my passed away father in general.
He did this to try and get us to break
no contact. We left the wedding dress on our doorstep.
I had mentioned my mother's church friends in the last post.
There are three of them in particular, including my mother,
that make a relatively tight knit group. My mother would
lean on them for support when I was young, and
I'm fairly certain she still does now. I was sure

(29:26):
she was going to turn around and complain to them
when we rejected the dress without a phone call or
some form of communication. What I didn't realize is that
this would be the beginning of my mother's flying monkeys.
One of them, let's call her Cheryl, actually showed up
at my door while we were home. I answered the
door and actually thought she came over to see me
or to borrow something. I still have much to learn, clearly,

(29:48):
Either that or I need to tune up my spidey sense.
We stood and chatted at the door for a little bit.
When I asked Cheryl if she wanted to come in,
she begged off. I can't remember precisely what was said,
but when something like oh, I couldn't possibly, I have
a lot to do today. I just wanted to come
and tell you in person that your mother's worried about you.
Also returning that dress was incredibly rude. How dare you tith,

(30:12):
I'm enabling moron who's never seen through Mom's bs end
up now telling you how to run your life or
something like that.

Speaker 3 (30:19):
Yeah, I gave back the dress. That you always said
was ugly and hideous, that you hated.

Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah, I'd be like, didn't you say you hated this dress?
You leave you you've returned the dress and on it
you said you put a note and says didn't you
say you hated this?

Speaker 3 (30:30):
Yeah? Why are you trying to like coseplay role play
daydream that this is your wedding?

Speaker 2 (30:34):
So weird, so weird? Top? I told her in the
nicest possible way to go herself, and then slam the
door in her face. If my mother's flying monkeys continue
to be this inept, I guess I won't have any
problems managing them. This woman used to watch me when
I was a kid, so maybe she just thought I
needed a talking to from someone else. I don't know. Also,
my wife told me that you are all very kind

(30:56):
for all the online shopping suggestions and told me to
post a link so that you can all see it.
He also told me I can't look at it. Don't
tell her I peaked. And there is another update man
oh Man one after another up date already married. Update seven.
Mom has been leaving it packages at my door three
over the last week, full of stuff that she's baked

(31:17):
she's a really good baker, but I just don't want them.
Out of principle, Should I quietly throw them away let
her know I don't want them. Somehow, my wife and
I just split up the contents of each package and
took them to work with us. Our coworkers have all
really liked the treats. The fourth just showed up today
and it was a whole cake. Thoughts, that is a
little bit tricky because I think this is absolutely a
way of like her trying to win you back or

(31:38):
or kind of garner some favor in a way that
she can use the NSU.

Speaker 4 (31:43):
What's in that cake?

Speaker 2 (31:43):
What'sn't that cake? That's what I was worried about originally.

Speaker 4 (31:46):
Cake. It's fine, This cake takets like omens.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
I think you think bringing them to the workers seem
like this seems like a good idea, or like, you know,
you just like gift them out or stuff.

Speaker 4 (31:57):
I would be like, yeah, I just I wouldn't want.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
To throw them out. That feels wasteful.

Speaker 3 (32:01):
Yeah, but it's like stop it. You're not You can't
get back on my side with a treaty.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
Update eight.

Speaker 4 (32:08):
Hey, it's sam' your ogi host here, bring it back
to the stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsor.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
No update on the situation with the packages yet other
than the Boys and Girls Club was ecstatic to receive
the cake. But the thread by someone else about the
creepiest thing your mother in law ever did reminded me
of when I first met my fiance then just girlfriend,
so I figured i'd share. I knew I was going
to share stories of mother before she completely lost her marbles,
might as well start now. The short version of my

(32:35):
post is Mom liked that I was attracted to the
same gender I'm not, I'm by, but didn't understand that
this meant I'd have a boyfriend. She actively pursued my
then boyfriend for a while in a romantic sense.

Speaker 3 (32:46):
What so so she already got a history of it's mine. Actually, no,
your boyfriend, that's my boyfriend. Your wedding, that's my wedding.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
That's why old ex boyfriend and I broke up due
to unrelated reasons. The reason Mom liked the idea of
me being attracted to the same gender is that she
was able to hang this fact of her people's heads.
If she wasn't getting her way, they're like you can't.
You can't steal that that money, mom, And the Mom's like,
I have a gay son.

Speaker 4 (33:16):
You can't.

Speaker 2 (33:17):
I have a gay So my son is gay.

Speaker 4 (33:19):
He's gay, he's gay, shut your dirty may this money.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
And my son is.

Speaker 4 (33:25):
Gay, son is gay, and I'm taking this money.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
The example that sticks out in my mind is when
she put in an order to bakery for a cake
for my twenty second birthday. It was a really busy
time of year and mom had waited until the last
second to order the cake, so they had to decline
the special order special order. She started to make a
big stink about how they were doing it because I
was attracted to the same gender. They ended up capitulating

(33:48):
and making it. Oh, so it works. She's like, yeah,
hop of hops, you don't want to make the cake
because my son's gay. And they're like, oh, you've trapped
us issues. There's already a problem with that other bakery
that wouldn't make a gay cake. We can't be that
bakery either.

Speaker 3 (34:02):
They're just like, she's totally wrong, but the optics are
all right.

Speaker 4 (34:05):
Egs, dang it.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
Anyway, ex boyfriend and I are broken up and I
meet fiance. I'm immediately smitten with this woman. She's schmexy,
she's funny, and I was just gone so fast. My
friends kept teasing me later that it was like the
rest of the world became invisible to me.

Speaker 3 (34:21):
So cute.

Speaker 4 (34:22):
That's toxic. No, I'm just kidding, it's sweet.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
We dated for eight months before the meat the parents'
topic finally came up. I put it off because of Mom,
and fiance had put it off because her father passed
away a few months before we met, so sore subject
on both sides. She knew how crazy Mom was already.
I had told her stories and said that she at
least wanted to meet the woman who had made my
life a living hell. I agree that we could do
dinner or something. At this point, I was waffling between

(34:47):
some contact in very low contact with Mom, and was
struggling with the idea of completely abandoning her. I knew
she was toxic, though. Because of this internal struggle, I
hadn't told her about fiance yet. I keep my private
life private until I know this person will be there
for the long haul. So I call and tell her
that I met someone. She gets all excited and asks
who it is. I relate my fiancee's name, and my

(35:09):
mother is immediately confused. Mom, but you're attracted to the
same gender me. No, Mom, I'm by I like men
and women. Repeat at nauseum for about twenty minutes.

Speaker 4 (35:19):
Yeah wait na, but no like you like men? You
like men and women?

Speaker 2 (35:24):
No, you like men and women, men and women, men
and women. Wobbit season exactly. At the end of the call,
she started crying about how I had deceived her. I
hung up on her.

Speaker 3 (35:38):
She's like, I think of all the people I yelled
at for your gay cakes.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
Yeah, you're not even gay.

Speaker 4 (35:42):
You're not even gay.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
You to give me those cakes. We did go out
for dinner about a week later. Mom was on her
best behavior. She admitted later that this was because she
realized she would have biological grandchildren this way, and she
was trying to make a good impression. She was like,
you know what, I realized now that you're not gay, Yeah,
I can have grandkids.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
She's like, I saw this crazy after school special about pregnancy,
and I realized you can have children with your wife.

Speaker 4 (36:08):
You're right, that would be my grandchildren, So I'm.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
I'm back on board. My spine wasn't up to stuff yet.
I'd say, a solid two by four rather than the
polished steel of today. So I just rolled my eyes
at her, and there is an update.

Speaker 3 (36:21):
Nine.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
Let's keep cracking on.

Speaker 4 (36:23):
Let's just crack on.

Speaker 2 (36:25):
So here's the plan I ended up going with. In
the time between my asking for advice and now, my
mother dropped off another package. So I took the cake
from the first package and the assorted make goods from
the second package and went on a giving free Beyonce
followed me and took pictures. The Boys and Girls Club
got the cake, a homeless shelter got the majority of

(36:45):
the contents of the second package. Some homeless guy was
begging on the street, got some brownies, et cetera. There
was a lot of stuff to give away. I then
printed out some of the pictures that fiance had taken
of me giving these things away and made up a
sign on some printer paper that said, thank you for
your generous donation of big goods, but we will not
be accepting any more food donations at this time. I

(37:05):
then posted the sign on the door and taped up
the pictures around it.

Speaker 4 (37:09):
And wait, oh boy, oh you're waiting.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
This is a volcano that's about to a rip.

Speaker 4 (37:16):
Yeah, it's like you're the guy.

Speaker 3 (37:17):
Who have you seen the video of the guys they
throw like a big rock and do a volcan.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
Yeah, and then it's just like and they.

Speaker 4 (37:23):
Kickstart the volcano. Yeah, it's like that's what you're doing
at all.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
I didn't know what reaction I was expecting, but I
did come home yesterday to find the sign and photographs
crumpled up on the ground rather far away from the door,
like someone got mad and threw them petty. Revenge is
best revenge. I'll update you, guys if she actually tries
to make contact. All right, guys, update time. There's a
second part to the story, but that'll come in a

(37:47):
second post because it's longer.

Speaker 3 (37:49):
So.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
I've been seeing a psychologist for a while. It's pretty
infrequently at this point, but this guy helped me get
through a lot of the biz that Mom put me through.
I don't think he knows everything, but he knows the
vast majority. He was very supportive of my going no contact.
He's good at trying not to leave people down certain paths,
but he looked visibly relieved when I told him. Anyway.
I filled him in on the packages and how I

(38:10):
chose to deal with them. You agree that was hilarious,
but that he was getting worried about me. One of
the things that I've been wrestling with for a while.
As I think I've mentioned before on here is a
need for what can only be described as vengeance. I'm vengeance.

Speaker 4 (38:24):
Vengeance. Yeah, imagine if his voice was different. Let's not actually,
let's keep going, man.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
He says that it's an understandable reaction after what I
had gone through, but that going down that path might
hurt me more in the long run.

Speaker 4 (38:38):
This is true.

Speaker 2 (38:39):
You're psychologist is like rude. Your psychologist is kind of onto.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
Something is right on point. You know what it pays,
what pays the most. Having no enemies. You know how
you have no enemies.

Speaker 4 (38:50):
You don't fight anybody.

Speaker 3 (38:52):
I have zero nemesis, nemesi, nemasi, nessy, mamasa, mammusa.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
Initially I thought he meant feel is about revenge being dangerous.
I started talking about how I knew it was an
issue and how I definitely needed to work on it
but didn't really know how yet. He sat and listened
while I rambled for a bit, then clarified, I'm glad
you recognized this is an issue, and it's definitely something
we can work on. However, I was referring to the
fact that your way of going about things most likely

(39:19):
escalated the situation, which is what we said, dash what
I said, make me you said, to which I replied,
oh crap. So why am I talking about this, Well,
partially to reassure everyone I am getting help, and also
to tell you guys that my psychologist might just be
nostradamus or just like, yeah, very looking at the very

(39:39):
obvious signs that say stop.

Speaker 4 (39:42):
Yeah, you basically like spit a spitball at.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
Your mom and and he was like, hey, I think
you just made your mom mad with that spitball.

Speaker 3 (39:50):
And he was like I did, Oh my god, wait,
and yeah, that's probably gonna make her behavior worse. Oh dude,
here's eight thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
You know, this guy needs someone to tell them the obvious.

Speaker 3 (40:03):
I mean, you know, on a real level, because it's like,
I don't want my comment there to be misconstrued as
distinc therapy. I'm dissing that it costs a lot of
money sometimes, but it's like, it really is invaluable to
have like a unbiased third party who's also an expert
on human emotion or like human cognitive reasoning, be like, hey,

(40:24):
like you did that, and that's not the right thing
you want to do, And sometimes you really just need
that to be able to go, oh my, oh my god,
you're you're right.

Speaker 4 (40:32):
I've never thought of it that way. And it's literally
a genius, that's all it is.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
Sometimes there you go, But there is an update. A
few of you have mentioned that mom's brand of abuse
and attempts to weasel her way back into my life
have been rather blunt. Well, I can tell you that's
because that's what used to eat work for. I kind
of assumed she would get craftier too, and I guess
she's in some sort of transition period between the two.
Beyonce and I were home and in our den when

(40:57):
we heard someone trying to get in. I like, some
thing trying to get in, trying to get a creature,
and it sounds like it mean, I'm your mom, that
me in me and it's cold, god, oh ooh God,
like using a key or something. Considering we were both
at home, it took me a minute to realize who
it probably was. I had given Mom a key to

(41:18):
the house in case I ever got locked out, you fool.
It hadn't been a problem until now because I had
always let her in. You should have changed the locks. However,
as part of our security measure against her, we had
changed the locks. Okay, so you did, never mind it,
take it back, crisis averted got really angry and wanted
to just storm out there and confront her. However, that

(41:40):
would break no contact, and if I was gonna let
her win, So fiance and I snuck out to see
what we could see, purposely hiding ourselves from the front end.

Speaker 3 (41:49):
Okay, okay, pause, because that's not breaking I wouldn't consider
that breaking no contact, being like get out of here,
get out of here. Yes, it's not breaking no context.
It's not like perman hide and seek where they can't
see you or hear you.

Speaker 2 (42:02):
That's so funny. If he's like, if she sees.

Speaker 3 (42:05):
Me, I lose.

Speaker 4 (42:06):
No, you're you're she's winning right now.

Speaker 3 (42:08):
Actually, because you're letting her like to bother you, and
you're saying you're hiding behind like a door, you just
need to open it and be like, get out of here.

Speaker 4 (42:15):
I'm calling the place.

Speaker 3 (42:16):
Yit, yit.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
After a couple of minutes of trying we both heard
her start to sob where you're pretty sure she threw
her key down on the ground in frustration and started
fake rying. We then heard her talking to someone. I
assumed it was my aunt in order to come and
pick her up, but it was not, And it turns
out she called my cousin. This guy is a groomsman
and my mother's brother's son. I thought he understood that

(42:38):
my mother was bad, raped, crazy, but apparently not. You
made up some wild story about how she knew Fyance
was beating me. She could hear me screaming, but she
didn't want to call the cops because they would just
arrest me. He came to the house. I would if
I heard all that, I'd text him and be like, hey, dude,
my mom's crazy. I'm literally fine.

Speaker 4 (42:56):
Sorry, this is lodge.

Speaker 3 (42:58):
It's so good, like he's dreaming and being But if
I call him, but he'd be arrested.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
M hm. When I saw his truck, I reassured my
wife that everything was fine and he was going to
take mom home instead. A few minutes later, he was
using a crowbar to pry open our door. Wow, I'm sorry,
Oh Pee, I'm sorry. There are so many moments where
you could have either knew that he was calling, you
knew who she was calling to bring him up. Hey,
everything's fine, he's trying to get into your house. You say, hey,

(43:24):
open the door, dude, I'm fine. There's so many options here.

Speaker 4 (43:27):
Yeah, you did not have to.

Speaker 3 (43:28):
I'm feeling like your psychologist is also going to talk
to you about that decision to not immediately resolve this situation,
yecause sometimes, you know, sometimes people love being embroiled in conflict.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
When I realized what had happened, I flew into a rage.
I banged open the door and screamed at them to
get off my property. My cousin started yelling back at
me that he was trying to say but I told
him he was uninvited from the wedding and that he
wasn't a groomsman anymore because he was helping mom.

Speaker 3 (43:57):
Well, this is I'm now, this is verging into everyone
sucks your territory. I mean, clearly you suck less than
the mom. But it's like, this is a very clear
situation where you could have resolved it almost instantly, and
instead you kind of just like let it go. Let
it go to the point where now he's damaging your
door and prying it open with the crowbar, and now
you're yelling and mad and upset.

Speaker 4 (44:18):
It's like you should have just gone out right away.

Speaker 2 (44:20):
Oh okay, uh. Nicole h says he doesn't. He didn't
know it was his cousin until his cousin pulled up. Yeah,
so it does seem like he was telling.

Speaker 4 (44:27):
Us that act.

Speaker 3 (44:28):
But no, but it's they they were watching this happen. Yeah,
it doesn't matter that he didn't know it was the cousin.
What matters is that he could have immediately been like,
get off of my doorstep before not.

Speaker 4 (44:37):
Talking to you. Yeah, you have to leave.

Speaker 2 (44:40):
Yeah, just like open the door.

Speaker 3 (44:41):
And he's like, then I'll lose. And it's like, no,
you're losing now. Actually you're losing more now than if
you had just opened the door.

Speaker 2 (44:47):
Literally, my mother started fake crying again and begging me
to come home away from my harmful fiance. I chased
them off by threatening to call the cops. My fiance,
bless her, was in a better state of mind than me,
and started taking picture of them and my cousin's truck
discreetly through the window. We are in the midst of
pressing charges no idea how this is going to go

(45:07):
or if it's worth it to pursue it. I just
feel defeated. I thought my cousin had my back, especially
since he knows how crazy mom could be. Fiance is
trying to be supportive and reminds me why I'm doing
this very frequently. We're setting up the LLC next week Monday,
so that she won't be able to find us when
we buy our new house. Fiance got a job offer
in the town five hundred miles away, where I also

(45:28):
got an offer. We're gone July thirtieth. Nice edit, guys,
I got it on video. I put up the cameras
a few days ago. There's two by the door. They
captured the whole thing, plus audio. I listened to the
entire bull crap story she fed him. She was describing
how my fiance was the us again, just like I
told you about Holly Wrap. She's been feeding him bull
crap this entire time. I'm so effing angry. I'm beyond done.

(45:53):
And there is another rep. I'm I think it's a
little I don't know. I understand that where op he's
coming from in terms of like telling the cousin that
he's no longer Grimsman. But I do think it seems
like he is not really taking into account that the
cousin was totally lied to and was trying to help him.
Like I don't know, like I do understand where oh

(46:14):
he's coming from.

Speaker 4 (46:15):
Well it's like, yeah, you took a growbar to my door.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
Yeah, that part's crazy.

Speaker 3 (46:18):
But like, did he know that the mom had become estranged?
Like as is the family aware that she's like behaving
this way?

Speaker 2 (46:25):
Like is because it seems like Opie's cousin thought he
was being abused imminently thought the mom heard him screaming
and like rushed over to help.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
Yeah, Like I think that was the comment earlier was
it's like, oh, he didn't know that was his cousin
until uh, the cousin showed up, so they couldn't have
had like a phone call.

Speaker 4 (46:42):
But like, dude, I'm fine, But it's like again, open
the door. You just opened the door and go get out.
She's lying.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
I don't know what did the cousin knock at all
or did he just.

Speaker 4 (46:54):
I don't know. Probably there was probably a lot of
knocking and then the mom. The mom's crying. There's a
lot going on.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
And he's like, oh, okay, I guess I'll just uh
leverage the door open with a crowbar.

Speaker 4 (47:05):
Yeah yeah, not like why does your keywork anymore?

Speaker 2 (47:08):
Cause she changed the lock so she can savage my son.
I do feel like a little like a conversation could
be had with the cousin afterback.

Speaker 3 (47:17):
Also, dude, if you have these security cameras, I guarantee
you there was a way for OP to be like
like through their phone like hey, I'm fine, y'all need
to leave.

Speaker 4 (47:29):
Yeah, well this is a ring right or all the
There's so many that you can do that with. So
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (47:36):
I think clearly Op's not like, you know, the catalyst
here is Opie's mom, but OP went about that in
the way that was most likely.

Speaker 4 (47:46):
To cause more problem.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
Yeah, and that seems to be the low key.

Speaker 3 (47:50):
The way that Ope's operating is it's like, you know,
you kind of got to the you were like kind
of home free, and it was like, all right, now
we're getting ready for her behavior to get worse as
we cut her off and then just like did not
feed into it, but you're like escalating, let me escalate
it escalating and by like not by not just opening
the door and being like leave you escalated. You allowed
that situation to escalate without you affecting it. So, which

(48:13):
in and of itself was a decision. And why don't
we want peace? Op, Let's keep the peace. Let's keep
that piece that we fought so hard for.

Speaker 2 (48:21):
Truly, but let's get into this update.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
This is John, this is Sam, your og Okay storytime
podcast hosts.

Speaker 4 (48:28):
We have some spectacular stories coming up, but.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
Real quick, we got a two minute break from our
lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
A little background on my uncle, just to fill in
some blanks. He's the one who made me realize that
mom was abusive and showed me what a real family
was funk, a real family and real functioning household looked like.
I owe him everything. My cousin is a mechanic who
has had some trouble with the law in the past.
All of these charges were minor and he hasn't had
any issue since about five years ago. I spoke with

(48:56):
my uncle early Saturday morning. I told him everything that
I knew about the incident and how his son was involved.
He put his head in his hands and asked to
speak with his son privately before I spoke with him.
I said that was fine. My uncle called me later
that night. He told me that he had spoken to
my cousin and that there were some things I needed
to know. As many of you suspected, my mother has
been spreading rumors that my fiance is beating me, not

(49:18):
just to my cousin, but to anyone in the family
who would listen, so everyone's being spread by She could
play concern mother this way, and of course everyone knows
that people who grow up in a harmful households always
end up in harmful long term relationships. Of course, we
can't ask him about it, because then he'll just deny it,
and fiance will know we're on the whole deal. They'll
and they'll do something drastic. My uncle hasn't heard a

(49:39):
word of these rumors, probably because Mom knew he wouldn't
believe her. My aunt hadn't either, but she said it
was possible that Mother just hadn't gotten to her yet
with rumors like that filling his head. I can sympathize
with where my cousin was coming from, but I had
no idea how to proceed from here with him or
the rest of my family. My uncle and aunt are
the only ones. Mom probably hasn't weaponized into flying monkeys,

(50:01):
and she's done it in such a way I don't
know if anyone else would believe my side of the story.
We're leaning more and more towards the idea of just
a loping yance. I started putting together a list of
people she'll need to call on Monday. We're going to
announce the move at the wedding, but we're thinking of
just quietly leaving and putting the house on the market
the day after our stuff is gone. Meeting about the
creation of the LLC. Tomorrow morning, we're going to talk

(50:22):
to the attorney we've been working with about additional steps
to take to protect our privacy. Wife and I only
have Facebook, which we're both thinking of deleting after the wedding.
I think it might be time for Scorched Earth and
there is an edit and a short update. Do you
have any do any thoughts before we get into this.

Speaker 4 (50:38):
I don't know if scorched Earth is a good idea.

Speaker 5 (50:40):
My thoughts scorched the earth, scorch the earth.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
I'm hoping that means when he says scorched earth, he
just means like we're going no contact, We're not engaging
in any of this really scorched earth revenge.

Speaker 4 (50:52):
I know that's really Yeah, let's remember what your therapists
said that. Remember it's not the Jedi way. Yeah, come on, dude, hey,
but let's just move on with our lives, right, leave
her behind, don't eat into her conflict. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:09):
She also Avery from the Swamp says, Okay, my husband
had a rough child and none of his girlfriends before
I've been abusive another IFI. I think that, Just to
be clear, I don't think that's Opie's take. I think
that was him saying like that's how his mom convinced people. Yeah,
I think that's or that was like something along the
lines of what he was implying there. But there is
an update. I spoke with my cousin finally. He said
he was afraid to call the cops an ambulance because

(51:29):
he was afraid I would be arrested if there were
any marks on fiance. He realized he effed up as
soon as he saw me, but was an adrenaline mode
so got defensive. He apologized and showed remorse. I'm not
afraid to go to my family because of embarrassment or
anything like that. I'm just aware of how it well
look if I try to clear it up. Now, Oh
did Beyonce find out?

Speaker 3 (51:48):
We know?

Speaker 2 (51:48):
Is she making them say this sort of thing? Many
of my relatives still trust Mom because she has gotten
better at hiding her worst behaviors over the years. The
only ones who don't trust her are her siblings, aunt
and uncle. We haven't decided for sure what to do
with the party. We're going to try and get the
date of the courthouse wedding moved up if we can,
though we already have all the paperwork sorted. We've also
already hired security for the party, so in theory it

(52:11):
wouldn't be an issue anyway. But I'm just not sure.

Speaker 4 (52:14):
And there is another update, Lucky Update number thirteen.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
I think this might be our final update.

Speaker 4 (52:19):
Let's go ahead.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
The legal stuff with the breaking and entering is moving forward.
I can't post much more about it beyond the fact
that I'm ninety nine percent sure both cousin and Mom
are going to plead guilty yance, and I an know
they congratulations. It took us seven thousand words to get there,
but we got it.

Speaker 4 (52:34):
Yep, we got it, and we did it.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
You pushed through all of the mom stuff and you
got Mary. So unfortunately we couldn't get our time moved up,
so it happened on the day we had originally intended yesterday.
It was quiet and beautiful and someday I'm going to
make up this whole mess to her, she tells me
that I don't have to, but I'm still going to
try somehow. We are quietly canceling the whole party. We're
losing some money in the process, but we're willing to

(52:57):
take the loss. We're planning an intimate honeymoon once we
get to our new city. Yance sent the news to
everyone on the guest list via a mass email, making
an excuse about an emergency coming up, or trying to
push everything forward as fast as we can, hoping to
leave earlier than expect it. Our plans right now are
to hire some movers, pay them extra to help us
pack all night, and we'll put the house up for

(53:18):
sale the moment all of our stuff is out. We
can make it work. Until then, there are some fantastic
rentals that we can get a one year lise on
in the new city. I mostly feel numb about all
of this right now. I didn't realize how much I
was running on anger yance. Our wife now has been supportive,
though concerned and obviously stressed. I'm hoping I'll swing back around.
Oh yeah, unlucky number fourteen. Okay, this is actually the

(53:42):
final life?

Speaker 4 (53:42):
Can we swing back around? Just like peace and tranquility.

Speaker 2 (53:47):
I don't want anything to happen, and I want it
to be like, guys, we've been doing great. Five hundred
miles away from my mother. We're pregnant now, everything's great.

Speaker 4 (53:58):
Is the embodiment of tranquility.

Speaker 3 (54:01):
I've actually achieved Nirvana. Yeah, they've I sat under a
Nirvana the band I guess it was.

Speaker 4 (54:08):
Uh what was the tree? The Buddha tree?

Speaker 3 (54:11):
I don't I feel like is it a Bodhisatva tree
or is that a title for people who are enlightened?

Speaker 4 (54:17):
I know, buddy Satva's I think it's the title. I
think it is. It might be both.

Speaker 2 (54:21):
I don't know if it was the tree, but I
know it's the title.

Speaker 4 (54:23):
God. Okay, I'm googling, but.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
There's another update. Hi guys, it's been a while. I'm
sorry for the radio silence. That's been a hell of
a ride the last few months. I looked back at
my last post and was shocked it had been five months.
It feels like an eternity. The reason I didn't post
is that a lot has happened no, and honestly, I
felt so drained about the whole thing no that I
haven't wanted to post. Plus I've gotten advice from Wayers

(54:46):
not to post. Technically I'm still under that advice, so
I'm not going to go into detail until things are
over and done with. However, I can talk about the results.
Mom has been involuntarily checked into a mental facility WHOA.
The diagnosis is syria, and some of the doctors won't
say if she'll ever be healthy enough to leave. She
was involuntarily committed because I'm a serious crime, she's committed,

(55:07):
which is what I won't repeat yet. The way things
are going, I may be able to give the story soon.
But you know what you can do soon listen to
full episodes with stories just like this. Just go to Spotify,
Apple podcast or iHeartRadio and search a poking story time.
But don't do it yet, because we still have a
little bit.

Speaker 4 (55:23):
Left of the story. Was it arson? Was I right?
Could it have been arson. I think the crime she
committed did she try to burn the house down?

Speaker 2 (55:31):
I feel like it's got to be worse than breaking
and entering, because she already kind of did.

Speaker 4 (55:34):
That, she had to have. I think she tried to
burn the house down.

Speaker 3 (55:37):
I think could be right and maybe better time trying
fourteen updates if this isn't in there, if the result
of her crime is not in there.

Speaker 4 (55:46):
Oh see, Okay, Now now do we know for sure
that she would have done this crime.

Speaker 3 (55:51):
Had op Nott spitballed if you stopped spitballing on her.
Perhaps not, but also perhaps still it's impossible to say
it truly is.

Speaker 4 (56:01):
However, the path of peace is when you must deliberately take.

Speaker 2 (56:05):
Has that pumpkin been there the whole time?

Speaker 3 (56:07):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (56:09):
Is it not like completely rotted?

Speaker 5 (56:10):
No, grab it it's the wax coating. Grab it, Grab
it and look under it.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
Literally, that's insane.

Speaker 4 (56:18):
That is kind of that's that's not disturbing, that's not real.

Speaker 2 (56:23):
It's real. You got a sticker on it.

Speaker 3 (56:25):
Maybe it's because it's a pumpkin, to truly, so, maybe
it's like pumpkin fused with the citrus, so the citrus.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
Well anyway, there's a little bit left the story.

Speaker 4 (56:35):
Yeah, that's that's kind of disturbing. Chat.

Speaker 3 (56:37):
Does anyone know why this pumpkin hasn't rotten rotten, rotted,
rotten rotten.

Speaker 2 (56:42):
My wife and I are both safe, and wife is pregnant.

Speaker 4 (56:45):
I was right, huzzah pregnant. Why huzza.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
We hadn't been planning to have children this soon, but
we're excited for this little girl to come into our lives.
We successfully got a restraining order against mom, and the
charge of are serious enough that the cops assured us
they will immediately respond if she ever shows up. Life
has been good beyond the incident, but I'm in counseling
for depression. Wife is in it for.

Speaker 4 (57:09):
Ptsdire definitely house fired. Dude, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (57:12):
It's been a long road, but I think it's over.
Things will get better and that is the end of
the story.

Speaker 4 (57:19):
I dropped keon is there an up? We got Yeah,
but I just need to know if the mom did
arson or not?

Speaker 5 (57:28):
Please exactly think that would have been explained along.

Speaker 4 (57:31):
I got it.

Speaker 2 (57:32):
No, no, no, no, because he was saying that she
got sent into but he couldn't talk about it.

Speaker 4 (57:37):
Oh wait, wait, I think it's that one. I don't
think we read that one.

Speaker 2 (57:42):
Yeah, we just read it.

Speaker 3 (57:43):
Dang it.

Speaker 4 (57:44):
Look at the comments. Go to their comments. Go to
their go to their comments, keon, go to go to
the Do you know you get this?

Speaker 5 (57:49):
Because I don't have my right.

Speaker 4 (57:53):
No one I think.

Speaker 3 (57:57):
Yeah, I don't think so they never updated it. Yeah,
I'm gonna guess or wait, well no, that's fine, don't
worry better. I'm guessing that, Yeah, she tried to light
the house on fire. That's my guess, yorks, that's not
because it's also like, there's not a lot of stuff
in that context that I can think of that would
be that serious that they'd be like, yeah, you might
have to actually stay in the inpatient SYCH facility for

(58:21):
the foreseeable future.

Speaker 2 (58:22):
Criminal your poison, Tonic says. Uncarved pumpkin can survive three
to six months if placed in a dry, cool place.
But it's been six months.

Speaker 4 (58:29):
It's been six months.

Speaker 2 (58:30):
It's been six months.

Speaker 3 (58:31):
So where are we right on the borderline of when
it's just like we're gonna come up the next day,
it's gonna look like SpongeBob, the rotten SpongeBob food.

Speaker 4 (58:37):
It has a fog, horn because all the other.

Speaker 2 (58:39):
Ones rotten like months ago, and I didn't even realize
that was still there.

Speaker 4 (58:43):
Yeah, it's kind of scary.

Speaker 3 (58:44):
Scary, it's making me, it's making me question, what is
there anything else around that could become viciously