August 25, 2025 • 52 mins
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00:00 r/BestofRedditorUpdates - My parents gave me a phone to TRACK me 24/7
22:23 r/BORUpdates - AITA for not sharing my aunt's jewelry with my cousin's kids?
38:27 r/comfortlevelpod - AITA FOR NOT TELLING MY MOM I AM MOVING ACROSS COUNTRY?
Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John Them Okay, Storytime podcast hosts.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
And we have some good story is coming up for you.
That's right. But before that, we have a little morsel
of a two minute outbreak from the sponsors keeping the
show delicious.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
My parents gave me a phone to track me twenty
four seven.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
At least they know where you're gonna be at.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
This is that one episode on Black Mair. I sixteen male,
recently got my first phone from my parents.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Okay, this makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
They told me that one of the conditions for having
it was that I have to share my location with
them at all times. This feels like an invasion of privacy,
but they insist that it's just for my safety.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Welcome to the world.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
I mean, yeah, I know most parent When I was sixteen,
most of my friend's parents had Life three sixty or
you know whatever tracked their location.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Just don't have a phone. Man.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
My parents never had that for me because I wasn't
going anywhere. By the way, this comes from Researcher Talk
fifty sixty two and if you want to spit your
own stories, go to the r slash. Okay, story Time
separate it. So I'm very responsible. I get good grades.
I have never snuck out. This doesn't feel reasonable to me.
I have tried having calm conversations about it, and I
(01:13):
have pointed out that I always tell them where I'm going,
but they're holding firm. I don't actually have an issue
with them knowing where I am, but the idea of
them knowing where I am instantly just through looking up
my phone makes me uncomfortable. You're said, honestly, I'm like, Okay, Personally,
I don't want to have life through sixty for kids
(01:35):
or whatever, but I know so many parents who have it,
so I'm like, dude, I'm sorry. You don't really get
to say, like my I had a friend whose parents
made her have Life through sixty and she was also
a good kid, never went out, you know, never snuck
out or anything, and she had to have life through sixty.
There's not much you can do.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
My parents gave my brother life. They didn't have like smartphones. Yeah,
so they got Life through sixty for my brother so
I could track him.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
But also I feel like I I'm going to be
sharing my location with my kids because I share my
location with everyone, and I hope my kids want to
share the location with me.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah, I won't make it. But you're sixteen, man, just
don't have a phone. If that, if you're uncomfortable with that,
just don't have a phone.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Anna says, you're only sixteen. I mean, I get it,
but it is common. Yeah, that's my thing. I'm like,
I get why you're upset, but also, like so many kids,
so many parents do this.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Also get a flip phone.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
That's what I had. I have an idea for how
to express how I feel about it. I plan to
buy a novelty prison or costume for the ankle tag.
Oh my god, you're such a sixteen year old. Roll
up my leg to show the tag and tell them
this is a symbolic representation of how I feel over
the location tracking. You're so sixteen, you're so sixteen. Luckily
(02:41):
I saw the kind of costume I'm looking for in
a shop. The ankle tag is plastic, has a blinking
red light and straps around your ankle with falchro It's
super fake looking, but perfect for what I want to say.
Laugh at you. Your parents are gonna laugh at you, Jesus.
But I don't know if this is a good idea.
It's not. I want to make a point that I'm
(03:01):
not sure how to react. Am I just being disrespectful
or could this be a good idea. I just want
to hear other thoughts.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yeah, I did something to be petty once. I got
sick once and I put on a full body suit
to show everyone that I'm sick but staying like, you know, safe,
And it backfired and everyone actually loved it, and they
wouldn't let me out of the room unless I had
it on. I'd get nasty looks for a week if
I didn't have it on.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
So funny, that's so funny.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
So in that sense it makes sense. But this, dude,
I mean, go for it, you know what. It's an idea.
It'd be funny looking back at it. But if you
are a minor under eighteen, yeah, you're gonna have tracking
on your phone.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
They're gonna track you, bud, and it's stinks because you
want You're like, I'm sixteen, I want to be free.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Yep. My kids will not have a screen until they're eighteen.
I will give them, Yeah, a flip phone, I agree,
but ID nothing like that. No, unless it's like we're together,
we can have you know, we can Like I say.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
A lot of schools are probably gonna make kids hat
because that's what my school did at fifth grade. We
have to get iPads, but I'm not They're not having
it at home. They're gonna have to figure out how
to entertain themselves. I'm getting my kids books and they're
gonna read like I did. I read all the time. Yeah,
and I'll give them I don't know, like twister and
then play twister.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Well, kids will do with the parents, Like if your
parents are always looking at the phone, so that I.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Will have to actually work on my own content.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Well, dude, just a book and a phone in there.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yeah, they'll never catch on. I mean I do read
a lot, So I think I'll just make them watch
movies with me. Yeah, and they can't do it on
their own.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I watch it again pretty good if I'm like with someone, Yeah,
in an area, I don't look at my phone. Sometimes
I just have to run away and go look at
my phone, and just like might I try to look
at my phone. It's like a smoking break, and it's
like how many smoke breaks a day do I have?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (04:49):
And it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Crazy thing too. I'm pretty sure Life three sixty just
got sued for like leaking they did they kes yikes?
Oh rough Bailey bugs is with love? Tell me you
don't have any kids without telling me? Yeah, I mean,
I know. It's it's really hard to have no screens
in this day and age. But I do want to.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
One can hope. One can hope.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
You know, do you wanna? Because I mean, Mike, I
will say, like, it is possible because that's what my
parents did. We didn't have a TV. And I feel
like literally everyone around us was like, hot, what you
don't have a TV? How do you raise your kids
without a TV?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
And you can see how excited she gets when she
watches TV?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah it, you know, so maybe it wasn't best, but
like you know, you can raise It is possible. It
is just hard and.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
My mom did that to me, so like I'm probably
gonna do it anyways, getting into this who I.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Just want to do what my parents did in terms
of stuff common or one. I'm on your parents' side.
When our daughter started driving, that will be a requirement
for her until she becomes an adult. Parents worry about
their kids twenty four seven. What they are demanding is
not unreasonable. You're still a teen. There a house, There
are rules, not to mention they're paying for the phone.
Oh Pee. I just wish they would be willing to
(05:58):
make some kind of compromise. I have to you know,
you're sixteen, they're compromise with you. I have told them
why it bothers me, and I have listened to their
view as well. Like I said, I don't have an
issue with the idea of them knowing where I am.
The way they're doing it just makes me feel like
they don't trust me when I never give them a
reason not to. Commoner two, I can sympathize. It may
not be trust. It's like worry. Like I said, parents
(06:20):
worry about kids NonStop, and that is not an exaggeration.
What's your compromise, oh p says I would be happy
to text them and tell them where I'm going. If
it's not somewhere they expect in advance, they would still
know where I am, but it would be because I
told them. Commoner two, it's not the same. Again, what
they are demanding is not unreasonable. Commenter three. It's a
(06:40):
safety thing. It's their phone that they pay for that
they let you have. The real reason you got it
in the first place, was it because you're such a
good boy. It's so that you can call your parents
if you end up in a sketchy or dangerous situation.
The location tracking is for the same reason, basically from
a parent. Don't be a knuckle oeut about it. Enjoy
your new phone. It was a and yeah, you have
(07:01):
to share your location or you could just go back
to not having a phone, Opie says. I will admit
probably the best protests would be to just give the
phone back. For that reason. I do accept that they
paid for the phone, so it's their right to make
this demand. I just wish they could agree to some
kind of middle ground, like if I just text them
where I am from time to time. It's the feeling
they don't trust me that bothers me. Oh, I guess.
(07:23):
Common to three says, it's not really about trusting or
not trusting you. It's about not trusting everyone who is
not you. I guarantee most of your friends share their
location with their parents. I can probably also guarantee that
they lie to their friends about it to seem cool.
And there is an update, folks. Yeah, yeah, Honestly, a
lot of your friends, a lot of other sixteen year
(07:44):
olds probably have to share the location.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
For its Yeah. Yeah, facts, facts, it's just just how
it is.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
It's just you're sixteen, two years you want to have
to worry about it.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
It won't even be there, you know what I'm mad about.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I share my location with my parents and they don't
share their location with me.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Rude, Samsung's sharing it because wasn't he like you guys
don't want to know where I'm at? No, he shares
his location, does okay? Good for them?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
I have a location. Yeah, I have most people's location.
I want everyone's location in my life. If you're in
my life and you're my friend, I should not your location.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Oh boy?
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Do you check them all like little? Yeah? Them all
like sims? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Sometimes you ever check where I am? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
If I'm wondering where you are?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah, I do that too. Yeah, it's not I won't
do it as much anymore.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Oh why I want you to check where I am?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
I do? I do?
Speaker 1 (08:33):
But like Riley does it and he goes, why aren't
you home?
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah? Yeah that's exactly, or like, uh, don't come home
for a while?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Oh you tell me, you know, well.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I'm like I'm hoping you won't come home. Oh minutes.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Yeah, that's okay, you can check.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Okay, cool?
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Yeah, Tom, Like I want your location. I want everyone's location.
Give it to me. I just like to know where
people are. That's not a crime.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
How did this get put as a story? There's better
have like something crazy to update sixteen year old complaining
that their parents are tracking them.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
You know what, Sometimes we got to handle the normal ones.
Hi everyone, You can see my last post. In short,
my parents said that me sharing their location with them
was a requirement for me to have a phone. I
planned to buy a prisoner outfit from a novelty costume
shop for the fake ankle tag and wear that as
a symbolic protest. A lot of people gave me good advice,
telling me that it would be immature and not make
(09:26):
them change their minds. So I decided to be the
bigger person. Instead of demanding they changed the rules, I
would instead choose the other option, which was to just
not have a phone anymore.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Okop Nice.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
I put the phone back in its box, rehearsed what
I was going to say, and then went to my
parents after dinner. I told them I appreciated the phone,
but that I'd rather not have a phone than feel
constantly watched and I handed it back to them.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Dude, you're gonna have such a hard time when you
realize that the government have satellites there constantly watching you,
and you will never get away from someone not watching.
You were always going to be watched. You will never escape.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Okay, it did not go well at first, they laughed. Yeah,
of course they didn't laughed a sixteen year old. What
I don't watch a phone? I feel like you don't
trust me, And they said, you're sixteen, you're a baby. Yeah,
we're gonna track you. At first they laughed, but then
my mom was very blunt with me. She said that
they gave it to me as a gift because she
thought it would make me feel like an adult who
(10:25):
was responsible enough for a phone, but that was for
her peace of mind. She said, I had only recently
started to leave the house by myself and it was
making her worry sick, and that she wanted me to
not have a phone at all at first, but thought
having my location made it worth it. I had wanted
a phone for a while because all my friends do,
and she thought giving me a phone would solve all
our problems, and she didn't expect me to make such
(10:45):
an issue of the location tracking, and she said she
regretted framing it as a choice, but that she said
it that way because she didn't want to hurt my
feelings and also didn't expect me to do this. She
got upset, and then my dad was angry at me,
if for we upsetting my mind. He told me I
was being ungrateful and that I clearly wasn't ready for
that kind of responsibility that came with owning a phone,
(11:07):
if I couldn't even handle something that's basic as letting
us know where you are. I tried to explain that
I wasn't trying to be difficult. I just didn't like
the feeling of being watched all the time, But it
didn't matter. The mood had totally shifted. They sent me upstairs.
About an hour later, they called me back down. Then
they gave the phone back to me, but said they
had reevaluated it. I then discovered this means the phone
(11:30):
was now heavily locked down. I basically can't do anything
on it anymore other than call or text them and
my friends. They deleted all my social media apps and
put a passport on the app store, so I can't
download them again apparently, dude, what is this phone for.
It's literally just like, honestly, they should just give you
an air tag. That's what they want.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
AirTag micro trip them. Yeah, like Courtney says.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Location sharing is still on, but they now check to
make sure it's in my back back before I leave
the house. Now, if I want to use Reddit and
I have to use my laptop, what is the so okay?
So op? He was like, oh my goodness, I'm gonna
get back at them. I'm gonna show them that this
isn't okay. And it went so much worse now he
can't even use his phone.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, if you really want to know where he's at.
But I'm a new pair of shoes all the time
and slip a tile in them and you're good.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
It's like I have the downside of having a phone,
but with none of the upsides now. But there is
a little bit left to this story.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Everyone in this room and in chat, raise your hand
if you're being tracked right now.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
I mean, yeah, I just told you that all my
friends on my location Charlie keon.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Okay, everyone, The only way to get away from this.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Go off the grid. Everyone.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
I don't think you can't get away from this.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I think that this Yeah, Purple ax Alotle says this
backfired big time.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I just I just love that this story is commentary
on like the kid is us. Yeah, you know what,
the kid is us. Humans just wanted to live life
and we are giving something by the government, and it's like, oh,
this is great. I love this, but I don't want
to feel like I'm being watched all the time and
laugh at us all the time, like, hahaha, No, you
have to have this ano They're forcing it on us
(13:04):
with lower capabilities. It's the panopticon, man, dude, we can't
but escape.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
The thing is that I think that a lot of parents,
like you're sixteen and personally can't do much about this.
Do I think they're being unreasonable for like taking away
all of the things on your phone when you haven't
really done anything wrong. Yeah, but yeah, it sucks. There's
not really much you can do.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Yeah, this is just a story about the bigger cause
of the world we live in.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Yeah. Sure, but there's a little bit left to the story.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Dare I say the I word.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
I told them that I wish I had gone with
my first plan instead wearing a fake ankle tag, and
they said they wish I had done that because it
would have been the funniest thing they'd ever seen. I
agreed as a joke. They renamed my phone and find
Maya's ankle monitor. Your pars are kind of funny. I
obviously get they're trying to be tongue in cheek, but
(13:51):
it feels like it's at my expense. It is now,
I just wish I had never brought any of this
up to begin with. If anyone has any ideas on
what I should do now and then, please you know,
because it feels like I can't win commoner once is,
take your lumps, apologize. Wearing the costume was never gonna work.
The comments in your previous posts said your ankle bracelet
idea was immature. Also, look at it this way. If
(14:13):
your parents jokingly wore prison guard uniforms to drive their
point home to you, would that make you have more
respect for them? Probably not? So Wow, you're surprised at
this reaction. They love you, and sometimes that means boundaries,
boundaries that can be opened up if you go along
with them and give them peace of mind. The mature
thing to do would I've been to accept the rules
and request to renegotiate at a later date. That shows maturity.
(14:36):
It shows you recognize that trust has to be earned
and maintained because it always will be. What makes you
so special to not have to go through that. Forget
the good grades and behavior. They gave you an expensive phone.
They're going to want to make sure they can find
it if you innocently lose it. So it isn't all
about you, per se, but you're important to them, So
learn from this and do better. Oh Pi says, I
realized the costume idea was immature, which is why I
(14:59):
didn't do it. I handed the phone back, but they
wouldn't take it. Now, I feel like they're being vindictive
by locking the phone down while forcing me to have
it in the first place. Am I misunderstanding their intent?
Common or two says kind of. Yeah, the phone isn't optional.
You're sixteen and wandering around alone. You need a phone
in case your car breaks down or you get lost
or going to be late or whatever. It's not safe
(15:20):
for you to be out without parents and without a phone.
I agree.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I got a phone in eighth grade.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
We do get live in a world, but like also
didn't everybody else then the guard the parents live without
a phone and location track and everything.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah, but okay, do you know how any freaking cereal
on a livers there were in the eighties that people
just didn't know about.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
In the eighties, yeah, people were getting.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Picked up, dude. My dad almost got like picked up
by this like super creepy do when he was a kid.
Like his friend at the time or his neighbor, they
decided a hitchhike with this guy or this guy like
went over and was like, oh, do you wanna do
you want to ride? And my dad was like no,
and then his friend was like yeah and like almost
got you know what, almost happened and he jumped out
(16:00):
of the car though.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Good for him.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
So my point is when kids didn't have phones, things
were bad rappen and now we have the phones and
we got to use them, you know, for safety too.
I think that when you start going out and anonymous
as there were payphones, kids were still calling their parents
to tell them, you know, what was going on, or
parents would like come back at this time.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
You know, someone was were alive. And remember the eighties, Riley,
how was it Purple Trader? You made it out. Did
you have your parents have a location track? You let
me know that I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
I see why having Well, my point is less about
the location travel tracking and more I understand why they
want him to have a phone because once you start
going out on your own or driving on your own, Yeah,
did your parents absolutely want to make sure like what
if you get in a car?
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Act?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Are these parents like kind of trending towards the helicopter
parent vibe.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
I the only reason why I don't think they are
fully helicopter parents is because I know so many parents
that did this. When I was kidding, my parents didn't
do it, but like, I know so many parents who
do it, so it is super common for our parents
to do it. I wouldn't do it as a parent.
My parents didn't do it. But I think that you know,
as a parent, this isn't out Like, this isn't abusive.
You know, like there are parents who take away their kids' doors.
(17:07):
That's not okay.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
But I might take away my kid's door if they're
up to no good.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
I don't think you should have a take away at
kid's door. I think that a door is privacy, and
I think that every child deserves a measure of privacy.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Okay, but what if they're like selling cocaine out.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Of there, then tell them to not sell cocaine.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
But they keep doing it.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
They're gonna keep doing it without a door. They're just
gonna do it. Not at your house. Well, are you
going to keep them locked in their room? Oh well
you can't now because they don't have a door.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Well, I'm gonna take away their door. So I know
if they're doing it or not.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
They would do it elsewhere.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
I'd probably teach them. Well, anyways, I.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Don't think that getting where the door is ever justifyed.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Thankfully, my parents never came up with that idea. Yeah,
I think I've always kept my door open. It never
was closed.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
That's a different closing door, not closing, a different taking
away door. Entirely weird. So the phone isn't optional. They
try to let you be a mostly adult about it,
and you refused. You behaved immaturely and in ts that
this whole situation had to happen on your terms. So
now they can't trust you to act like an adult
with the phone. So you get treated like a kid
(18:08):
with the phone. Because the phone isn't optional. If you
want to fix this, start acting like an adult, Opie says.
I disagreed that I was being immature but trying to
hand the phone back. But I have taken the time
to digest what everyone has said to me here, and
I think I've accepted I was wrong to make a
big deal about this. I have tried to think of
situations where having the phone's location would help, but where
(18:29):
me is simply texting them wouldn't. I could think of
a few, like if the phone itself was lost somewhere.
I think the reason why it's bothering me is simply
because I feel I have no choice over it. But
when I'm older and have my own phone plan that
I can choose to stop sharing my location, yep, if
it's something I still object to. At that point, I
decided to talk to my parents once again about this,
and I raised that point to them. They agreed and said,
(18:51):
I'm right and it would be my choice, but even
when I'm an adult, they would still worry about me.
We hugged and there is no tension in the house anymore.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yay.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Heck yeah. I think I learned from this experience that
I don't like seeing my parents as.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Enemies anemans of the state.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Yeah. I think the conclusion I've come to is that
the tool itself isn't good or bad, but how it's used.
It can be used to be controlling. But if it's
not being used in that way, then it's harmless. I
feel really silly for making an issue out of something
that didn't need to be one.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Yeah, this is all written by the US government trying
to get us to be okay that they're tracking us
with their credit cards.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah, or it's written by sixteen year olds who was
annoyed at his parents.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
You get to choose that reality, listen.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Yeah, I think I think, gopee, you're sixteen in two years.
You can choose whatever you want to do. I remember
my friends who had life three sixty complaining about it
all the time and me being like, what that's terrible.
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I don't think it's eighteen. Kids are able to do
whatever they want to do.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Well, I mean, yeah, he might still be on his
friends or his parents.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Once you're out of the house and paying for your
own stuff, you do whatever you want.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, But I think when you're eighteen, they should not
be like putting you know, parent controls on your phone
at that point, that's ridiculous. Maybe I think that would
be ridiculous if at eighteen my parents put like controls
on my phone, I'd be like I did. Think it's
a little bit different than tracking. I think that's a
step too far. When you're eighteen, maybe what do you say?
Maybe I don't age you.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Consent my ray soon, and then you're gonna get canceled
for saying that eighteen year olds should have this way
of life. What if the age of consent is a
twenty one and now everyone's going to count to you
because you didn't say it was twenty one, they might.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
That doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
They're gonna canst to you when you're sixty, when know
the age of concent goes to twenty one. What calling
it all right?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
That doesn't make any sense?
Speaker 2 (20:36):
What do you mean it doesn't make any sense?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
What do you mean? What do I mean?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Okay, this is wild take, But you used to it
was sixteen the age of sixteen in the UK. You
can vote at sixteen in the UK. Would you say
kids in the UK at sixteen should have parents or
controls on the phone?
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Vote in the UK at sixteen right.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Noway, you can if they's passed it. I think it
was in Germany or the UK somewhere in there.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
The UK is not Germany, I.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Said, one of those countries. I forget. That's both European.
I don't keep both the Europeans.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
What I'm talking about is in certain areas and you
could in France. In France and that stuff, you can
go to clubs at sixteen?
Speaker 1 (21:09):
You can, yeah, because there's okay, can.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
You have what about them? Should they have parents controls
if they go to the club at sixteen?
Speaker 1 (21:15):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
She knows she's about to get canceled now she's backing
on what you're talking about. M codder odder. Alright, alright,
that's a different culture. Well then age consent Kansas sixteen?
Should those kids be Should those kids have parents will
control if they can make?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Age of consent is different than.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Adult I'm just asking his phone stuff. I think that
this is a bigger story than us as a sixteen
year old. I think this is a bigger story as
us as Americans or wherever we live with us being
tracked everywhere?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
All right, Oh, I mean Riley's on the conspiracy theory.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Also, come check out my conspiracy theory YouTube channel that
I'm going to make so me and Dakota are doing it.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Okay, I love that for you.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
She's a spin off. We're gonna make a spin off. Guys,
We've got an Sylvia just hates me because to view
the world differently.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
No, and you're so annoying. I'm literally trying to give
like actual commentary, and you're like.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Maybe maybe I just I just did not like that
story because there was no cheating or anything bad happening.
Now this story right here, okay, this one might be
all right. All right, here we go. I refuse to
share my aunt's inheritance.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Don't share with anyone.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
My thirties female aunt, sixties female recently passed away less
than a year after being diagnosed with stage four cancer.
She's never been married, never had kids. I'm one of
six nieces and nephews. Both my sister and female cousin
Nina are married with kids. My male cousin, Caleb forty male,
is married with two daughters, and neither of my younger
(22:49):
brothers is married. They are largely irrelevant to this story.
So it looks like we're going to be messing around
with Caleb and Nina. Oh, I do not know how
old Nina is.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
What do you mean messing around?
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Like not messing around, but like that's gonna be my
main characters of the story. Okay, I'm single and I
have no intention of having kids of my own. By
the way, this comes from Family Jewels Throwaway and if
you want to smart your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay stories. I'm subur so background. My aunt
was a doctor and went to a palliative care when
she was diagnosed, so she wanted to enjoy the time
(23:21):
she had left, mostly with travel. I was close to
graduating from surgery regisency when she was diagnosed. She asked
if I would be willing to be her care physician
after graduation, accompanying her on travels, prescribing her pain meds,
et cetera. She paid me a little bit more than
I'd been making as a resident. I paid for my
travel business and first class flights, nice hotels, et cetera,
(23:43):
contributed towards my student loans, and put me on the
deed to her house. I moved in with her. I
also moonlit slash did locums when we weren't traveling, and
after she got too sick to travel, so I could
keep up my surgery skills. Long story shorter. Even with
the time I wasn't making a full surgeon salary, I
(24:05):
still benefited financially from the agreement. My aunt had been
a doctor in the Foreign service and had accumulated a
lot of Middle Eastern carpets, furniture, silk and cashmere scarves,
art jewelry in her career. Everything was open to all
her nieces and nephews to split as we see fit,
(24:25):
except the jewelry was left specifically to her nieces. Okay, wow,
so she was making bank.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yeah, she had a lot of stuff to give away.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Dang, Okay. There was surprisingly little drama splitting any of it.
We even had a praise, so we were all in
agreement on the value of what we were getting. My sister,
Nina and I all have different enough tastes in jewelry
that we easily agreed on how to split the nice stuff,
and most of the custom jewelry was set aside for
my niece and Nita's daughter for when they were older.
(24:58):
They're both under four. Here's where Caleb comes, and he
said that his daughters deserve to have some of my
aunt's jewelry as well. My sister and Nina said they're okay.
Was splitting the custom jewelry to include his daughter, but
he said that they deserve some of the nice stuff
as well. My niece will probably get my sister's jewels someday,
and possibly mine and Nina's daughter will probably inherit what
(25:20):
Nina got. So Caleb says it's not fair and my
niece and Nina's daughter will get more than his daughter.
Caleb also says, since I got the house, the furniture
in the house that no one else wanted, got to
travel with my aunt, and she paid off a large
portion of my student loans, that I should share the wealth.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
No, it was divvied up. How I was divvied up.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I do.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
The only thing is I think that like it would
probably be nice because you don't want kids, it'd probably
be nice to give your niece if you have a
relationship with her, that jewelry. We you know, like she
inherits it from you, But I don't think you owe
it to anyone. No, that was that was given to you,
Like everything was divvied up by the aunt.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Yeah, The only thing that I have that this could
be wrong is the jewelry thing, Caleb, if you want
something that your daughter's remembered, I would probably be like, Hey,
is there anything I could give to my daughter so
that they can remember their aunt? Like one nice piece
of jewelry? That's that Everything else is set in place.
You shouldn't even say anything exactly, a dude, don't even
get me started on inheritance. Right now, my siblings are
(26:21):
staying out of it, and Nina says it's ultimately my choice.
But that what Caleb says, is it wrong? Am I
they for holding my aunt's will? Is this a heel
worth passing away on? I have a great relationship with
my cousins and siblings and don't want this to sour
that top comment. This happened to my family once my
uncle gave my brother his truck, and my brother wanted
(26:42):
to do altercations to the truck that he bought from
my uncle. But my uncle was like, like add like
lift it or like you know, customize or whatever. But
my uncle was like, no, don't do that to my
truck after my brother bought it. Yeah, but it already
is exactly, So my uncle came to my sister, or
it came to his there my mom. It was like, hey,
I don't want this to be a big thing. I'm
(27:03):
gonna buy the truck back because it's what I really
care for because I've had it for a long time.
But I don't want this to mess up anything. And
he talked it out like an adult and they worked
out a compromise.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Well, there you go.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
It was a compromise.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
What was my uncle bought back the truck and then
my brother just got another vehicle. Yeah, yeah, and all
you need to do and that's all you need to
do this right here.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
He could have totally come to her and said like, hey,
it would really mean a lot if you would, you know,
put aside some jewelry for my daughter.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
With the intention not to sour the relationship. That's huge.
I don't like the middleman here. Nina's like, ah, you.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Know, he is a run like go, I don't know, Nina,
give your jewelry away.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
There you go, there we go, Yeah, give your piece
away to him. Come ask me. Also, Caleb's daughter could
just so recycle or like full circle. This is since
op he's going to be a surgeon and a doctor
she's going to be traveling everywhere one of his daughters,
could she?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Because yeah, she's like, you're going to be the aunt
that gives me the inherent when.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Uh top comment, not the a hole.
Your aunt specifically left it to you. She clearly cares
about it, and it wouldn't be right to disrespect her
wishes I had hold on to the jewelry, Opie replies,
my aunt was really interested in the whole jewelry played
in women's inheritance and financial security in various cultures, which
is why I think she specifically left the jewelry just
(28:22):
to the nieces and not all six of us. But
I know the last thing she wanted was for us
to argue about the inheritance and my great grandfather. Her
grandfather passed away. Her cousin contested parts of the will
and it caused a lot of drama. My dad still
hasn't spoken to that cousin and it's been more than
thirty years. Someone replied to OPI, I think Caleb's argument
(28:43):
that you got more is really petty in a low blow,
trying to manipulate you. You rearranged your entire life to
be your aunt's career that isn't insignificant, and it sounds
like you had a really special relationship that she acknowledged
in her will. Caleb also inherited items and their proceeds
from selling some items, so he wasn't left out of
(29:04):
the will. There isn't anything wrong here that needs to
be fixed in the future. You can sell a gift
or leave the items to whomever you like. If you
have a close relationship with Caleb's daughters, maybe that will
include them. Given his age, I'm assuming it would be
some years yet before they have any use for inherited
family hairloms hope. He replies, Yeah, his daughters are two
and five, so it's not like there's any piece of jewelry.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Yeah, they're not even anyone's.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Been really eyeing for a wedding or anything.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
I truly think if Caleb had come to her and said, hey,
is there anything you could set aside when you pass?
I don't know. Is there anything like later down the line,
when my daughters are like older that you would wouldn't
mind giving up that? I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Another top comment, not the a hole. I'm sorry for
your loss. You must have come quite close to your
aunt during the time you cared for her. I think
your cousin needs to appreciate that you sacrificed a lot
to provide care for your aunt, and that that timeout
may have hel back career progression, although you were wise
to keep in date to be able to maintain where
you were before you gave up full time work. Whatever
(30:08):
your aunt's will said, your property is yours now to
dispose of as you wish. So, as you say, have
a good relationship with your cousin, might be nice to
consider sharing items that you're not really using or have
no real attachment to, or selling them and sharing the proceeds.
You are under absolutely no obligation to do any of that, though,
(30:30):
as your loss was quite shocking and recent, don't make
any big decisions and ask your siblings for support. Hope.
He replies, thank you for that. My aunt was awesome
and I really miss her. She was physically present when
I was growing up because of her foreign service career,
but she was there every Christmas instead of postcards from
everywhere she went. I looked up to her for as
(30:52):
long as I can remember, and that's why I became
a doctor. Getting to spend those last months with her
and getting to see the favorite places where she lived
visited was a blessing that I wouldn't trade anything for.
I think taking some time to sit on decisions is
the way to go. It's jewelry. It's not like it's
going bad. And his daughters are two and five. It's
not like there's a wedding coming up that they need
(31:12):
jewelry for. Anyway, we have an update. I just saw
the title key unspoiled.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
The title and I didn't actually see it, so.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Good good, Yeah, look away. If you haven't seen it,
I will say there has been ever since my great
grandpa died, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. Ever since my
great grandpa died, there have been some like talks about
the inheritance that have rubbed me the wrong way.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Yeah, people, money talk is so tricky. I mean, I've lost,
you know, a couple two uncles and the money talk
that happens, and even now like my grandparents are older,
it's tricky. Yeah, and my dad's one of ten even
you know, we people with the best of intentions tricky
trying to figure it all that out.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
I have definitely looked at a few people a little
differently since and I'm.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Like, yeah, no, money is money is hard man. Money
makes things tricky. I don't even care if I get
my family relationships.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
The only thing I want for my great grandpa's house
is his popcorn bucket that he would make popcorn for
me as I grew up. That's the only thing I want.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
I honestly don't want my I want my parents' house
to be like Salmon I's shared vacation home, you know,
like summer home or whatever, like where all the kids
come and we all hang out at the house. I
want that.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Oh, Like, I don't want.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Either anyone to get it.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Yeah, I want both.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Of us to have it.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
I just want that popcorn bucket he makes, and he
has too, so me and my brother because every Friday
night we would go to his house, eat popcorn, watch
I eat ice cream and watch Blue Bloods and Monk
and something else, and then we would work in the
morning every Friday night. It was the best. Anyways, update
Sam here, we're gonna get back to the stories.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
But here's three of its bads from our sponsors.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Am they old for not sharing my aunt's jewelry with
my cousin's kids, positive resolution resolution and because there was
some confusion about who everyone was. Two cousins siblings, Caleb
and Nina. Three siblings. I didn't give them letters, but
let's call them Emma, Dave, and Tom. So these are
all siblings. So that she had two cousins who are siblings,
Caleb ber Nina, and then she has three siblings of
(33:11):
her own, Emma, Dave and Tom. Caleb Banina are cousins.
Emma all have kids. Okay, so Caleb, Nina, and Emma
have kids. Op, Dave and Tom do not. So I'll update.
Six of us got together over the fourth of July.
I was able to disperse the last of the proceeding
from selling the art, rugs, antiques, et cetera that none
of us wanted, that being up being a few thousand
(33:32):
dollars each, not live changing money for any of us,
but nice to have. I will probably use it to
go on a solo trip in my aunt's honor once
I accrue enough vacation now that I'm working full time again.
I had decided, based on your comments, that I would
offer any of my nieces existing and future if Dave
and Tom ended up having kids, and that they could
(33:53):
shop from my inherited jewelry for their weddings. Before I
could even present that solution, Cabb was super apologetic about
the way he had acted, yes, and was feeling guilty
that he hadn't been able to spend more time with
her aunt before she passed away.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
It's great, this is great news.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Yeah, he gained his solution is like, hey.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
I'm sorry, should have done that, should have been more
respectful about it, and we love that.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
This is beautiful small kids at home, work obligations, et cetera.
And jealousy that had been more flexible to travel with
her for those months and that made him lash out. Yeah, yeah, sorry,
was just thinking about Oh man, that did hard. Yeah,
take your time. Oh dude, I will be real. I
(34:39):
have pushed that so far down that I'm not even
really thinking about it because I'm like, oh, I just
got I got a podcasts to do. But then this
story is thinking about my great grandpa through his going
through his care. Wow, okay. Sorry. It turns out his
wife had essentially read him the Riot Act when he
had complained to her that their daughters weren't included. Reminded
him that their daughters have their whole side of the
(35:01):
family reminded him that the jewelry is traditionally passed down
to female lines, the whole bit. He was quite embarrassed
by how childish he had acted, But I did present
that solution, and both Nita and Emma thought it was
such a good idea and that they had the same
when the next generation of girls get married, that they
can choose from their inheritance too.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Oh this is so cute.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Yeah, this is amazing. I like that he comes to
his conclusions. I also don't like the theme of this
episode that everyone's like thinking the right headspace because I
want something crazy to happen.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
I want them oh crazy. But uh, that was the
end of that story. Nope, it's not the end of
that story.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
We got a little bit more.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah, I forgot Yep, that's not the end of that story.
Seems like everything's pretty, it seems like everything's good.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Yeah. I love that women passed down jewelry to each
other to like, you know, that's so cute. I love
that that's so significant.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
I unfortunately did not get any jewelry from my grandmother.
Well that's actually not true. I just realized because a
lot of it went to my aunts. So kind of
a similar thing of it, like it went to my
aunt's rather than my dad, even though I'm here. But
my grandmother years ago gave me this beautiful little like
brooch which I have in my room actually, and it's
(36:13):
like a gold clown with a little pearl belly and
it's kind of like for acting, basically theater thing that
was her mother her Yeah, her mother's I believe her
grandmother who I'm named after, who was also an actor.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Okay, yeah, that's perfect.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Yeah, So that was like that felt really lovely and
I still have that.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
That's cute.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Yeah, it's this beautiful little clown.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Yeah. It's hard divving up stuff too, because there's so
many of us with my great grandpa.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
That's how it was. My dad's family. So much, so
many people and not that much to divvy up. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Yeah, so all is well, Thank you for your support
and kind words. I'm not going no contact with any
of my siblings or cousins. I still miss my aunt.
Orc is not terribly exciting, but it's a paycheck, and
it's nice to see that my surgical skills did not
slip irreparably, but irreparably, irreproberably irreprobably, irreprobably Yeah, there you
(37:11):
Goah you irreparably. That's five syllables right there for a
very short word.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Hey it's actually four.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Okay. Top comment. Your cousin has a good wife, Opie replies,
she's quite awesome. He did well. One of the top comments.
One change you may consider is to set an age,
say twenty five. If they're not married, they can have
the same choosing not everyone gets married. Opie replies, that's
not a bad thing to consider in my thirties. And
while I'm not ruling out marriage someday, I'm also not
(37:39):
really seeking it. Download a comment waiting for the update
that Caleb is broke and will be coming soon, ask
you for a loan, OPI replying, Lol, I read a
lot of best of utter or update. If this were there,
it would be a seven part saga and at the
end I would somehow have twins. Caleb would be divorced
with the gambling or substance habit and expecting triplets with
the mistress. A friend of a friend lawyer would crawl
(38:01):
out of the woodwork for something, and family helps family,
we said at least a dozen times. Yeah, so that's
not gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Great story, Yeah, real real story.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Real story about real people that have real emotions and morals.
Were stories we can read on the story show them.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
I want you to have no morals.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
No morals, cheating, and everyone hates each other. Look right, guys, um,
but we've got another start.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
I'm moving across country without telling my mom because I
know she'll try and stop me.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Can't stop me now.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
So I twenty two female and moving to New York
City within the next six months with a friend I've
known for the last ten years. Twenty one female. Let's
call her Carly.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
It's with a sea, though not with a K.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Well, they're probably trying to like be anonymous and do
it with the sea instead.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
Of a going yeah, dude.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
I currently live somewhere in the Midwest. I'm not telling where,
just for safety reasons, but I have always planned to
move to a difference where I felt I could accomplish
my dreams better and connect more with the people around me.
By the way, this comes from Cool Dinner A five
to one one one and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story
Time subret it. So for all of last year, I
have been traveling across the country, even to the UK,
(39:16):
to find the perfect city. It just so happened that
one of the trips I went on, my friend Carly
came along with me because she also wanted to see
some cities she'd like to move to as well. We
went to New York City and absolutely fell in love.
I also know it could have been just because I
was on vacation, because honestly, everything that could have gone
(39:36):
wrong with the trip went wrong. Nevertheless, we still loved it.
We decided that would be the city we wanted to
move to about four months ago, and I have been
working two jobs plus some side work such as selling
art and clothes to save up for this move. Now
that it's getting closer to the move, I have been
telling some friends and family just so they're prepared, but
I'm thinking about not telling my mom until the week
(39:58):
of the move, or maybe not at all. For context,
my mother and I have never had a good relationship.
She is an immigrant and a single mother of six. Currently,
almost all of her kids are out of the house
except the two youngest twins, who are in junior year
of high school. She honestly doesn't have a good relationship
with any of her kids.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
Oh gosh, Joie.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Her oldest child, twenty seven female, hasn't talked to her
in the last two years.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Ah poof.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Our mom doesn't even know she's currently engaged to a
great woman. The reason for this is because she's your
text book self absorbed person. Anything we do, we're dealing
atdr Like when I was failing classes during the VID
due to stress and depression, all she could do is
scream at me and ask why am I doing this
to her?
Speaker 2 (40:43):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
She also has a lot of double standards between raising
boys and girls, and if you knew what country she
was from, this would be normal. But she has always
put more pressure on her three girls on taking on
more responsibility than her three boys. Part of the reason
my older sister doesn't talk to her anym is because
of this. I could imagine that amount of pressure she
went through. My mom is also not much of a
(41:05):
loving mother. She has probably told me she loved me
twice before, oh my.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Gosh, and it's probably after she did something amazing ouch.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
I can only remember hugging her once, and she really
doesn't show sympathy to anyone ever. Other family members know
this about her and tend to stay away, such as
all of my cousins in half of her own siblings.
On the other hand, I know the reason why she's
like this. It was really hard for her family to
get to America. It's pretty obvious she suffers from PTSD
(41:33):
and other traumatic condition and from the few stories I've
heard about her parents, they were simply monster as compared
to her. And on top of that, raising six children
alone as an immigrant after your partner leaves when you're
giving birth to twins can be very hard on a person.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Oh oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
She also has helped me when I needed a place
to say for six months. I use that time to
save on rent by getting to travel the country and
ultimately choosing to move to New York City. Although she
did get me heck when I stayed with her by
telling me I'm going nowhere in life and how I
need to come up with a real plan in life,
she let me stay for free. She has always pressured
me to go back to school. She believes that the
(42:11):
only way I'll be successful is by doing that. But
I've just gotten out of the worst depression last year
over school, and I think going back will only be
a waste of time, mental health, and money. I also
truly have a real plan when I get to New
York City. My mom has already expressed to me how
it hurts that one of her daughters has gone fully
no contact with her, and how most of her kids
(42:32):
don't talk to her about their lives. Girl, Maybe time
for self reflection.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
I wonder, huh or why huh?
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Maybe we're like, why don't they talk to me?
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Yeah? Maybe look at the common denominator where every.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Daughter doesn't want to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
It's like, oh, I do not enjoy talking to mom.
I do not enjoy talking to Mama. I do not
intartding to mom. What is the common den I wonder why? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (42:54):
And I just know she's going to feel hurt about
me moving across country without telling her. I just get
so much anxiety talking to her. I've told my cousins
about this, who personally know her. They believe I shouldn't
tell her until the very last minute because she'll just
try to sabotage my move. So am I the ale
for not wanting to tell my mom that I'm moving
across country? And there are some comments and I think
(43:15):
an update folks, But what do you think.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
I had a friend with this, whereas one was pretty controlling,
and he went to New York City to grab a poster,
a seven foot poster. Dang, and came back home the
same day he did in twenty four hours. Well then
she'll never know Tennessee to New York City.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
Well, opia's I think moving for a full time.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Yeah, so in that scenario, one day, it's good to know,
but forever, maybe give her a letter. I think would
be good if you don't want to talk to her
in person, because I understand if you're like I cannot
stay yeah, in contact, this is just gonna She's gonna
sabotage it somehow. I think leaving a letter would be perfect.
Speaker 1 (43:47):
I think that you tell her when you're going, you know,
you get everything in order, make sure you have all
the plans set, and then say, hey, I'm leaving. Maybe
like give her a couple of days notice or big Apple,
I'm going to the Big Apple and ain't coming back.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
I don't think so. I think doing a letter if
you feel very strongly that you don't want to have
her sabotage it, because I think the mom would do
something like where she she.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Do though, if you had everything set, car you're taking
could retire. I think you park somewhere else.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
Say you stole something, called the police on you say
you're missing.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Dang, people get crazy. Well, if you truly are that
worried about it, then yeah, don't you know, send her
a letter or whatever. But uh, I don't know. If
you want any sort of relationship with her, I think
tell her.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Leave a note saying we will come back around this later.
I need space.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
Do you the one would like the ransom with like
the different letters magazines like your daughter's in New York City?
Don't try and fine again? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Yeah, but there are some comments, folks, so comment one,
not the a hole. If you're worried about her sabotaging
your move in life, she's been at least emotionally abusive,
then you have every right to keep information to yourself.
Thank you, carm You seem like somebody who tries to
be compassionate and understanding. I think that your outlook on
your mom is a good one. She doesn't deserve to hurt.
(45:07):
She's gone through a lot, and circumstances make being a
good parent difficult, but that is never an excuse to guilt,
trip control, et cetera. Her reaction to you getting the
space that you deserve and may need is not your responsibility.
If she is hurt, then another child is moving on
to healthier relationships. Maybe she'll be more inclined to take
a look at what's really going on. I'm sorry things
(45:29):
can be so complicated, but it sounds like you have
some amazing plans coming up. Don't let anybody stop you.
Moving away also doesn't have to mean no contact. Eck,
maybe you'll grow closer with the distance that helps enforce boundaries.
Good luck, and there is an update, folks. Do you
have any thoughts before we get into that?
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Go to the big Apple.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
Yeah, just leave your laugh let go.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.
Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors
that keep the show going.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
I know I haven't responded to any comments in post yet.
I haven't been able to update sooner because I literally
work all the time time. I work about seventy to
eighty hours a week. I get one day off every
two weeks, and all I do is sleep. Goodness, I
know that sounds tough, but I haven't been more at
peace in my life before I know what I want
and I'm actually able to make it happen. Just wanted
(46:13):
to update everyone about some of my plans and things
that are happening about the move. Rest assured that I
have an actual plan. I have friends who live in
New York in my industry and have at least two
jobs lined up when I go there as backs for
each other, and all this working will lead to at
least ten thousand dollars in savings when I go, not
including the paid for travel, and stay for two to
(46:34):
four weeks before I can find an apartment. Yeah, leave,
you gotta go, I will say. My friend Carly that
I was moving there with has dropped out from coming
with me. That happens. It sucks, but it happens. She
has an opportunity to go to school where she stays
currently for practically free, and she's taking that option. Needless
to say, that does make moving even scarier because I'll
be doing it alone. But that won't stop me from
(46:56):
chasing my dreams and it shouldn't. Sometimes we have this
like idea that all work to go on this trip
with her, or like do something with her friends, and
then you're faced with, oh, I got to do it alone,
and you you know, you have way better you know,
you make way better memories and outcomes than it is
to add that kind of like hand holding going into it.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
I mean that's what happened. When I went to UCSD.
I had to decide. I was like, Wow, none of
my friends are going here. I don't you know. I'm
close enough to my parents, but I'm moving to a
new town where I don't know anyone, and it's scary.
But you figure it out and you make new friends,
you make new relationships, and your life is better for it.
Speaker 3 (47:32):
Sure from the nest.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
Honestly, it helps, and you put into focus that I
really wanted it more than I thought. Edit. Carly actually
read my first post and the comments helped inspire her
to go back to school too. All Right, I'm just
bummed it's not with me. It also made me focus
on what actual steps I need to take to get
to my goals. So I have also decided to go
back to school and redo my freshman year of college. Interesting,
(47:55):
I have applied and been accepted for grants and scholarships.
I'm not too worried about fail like last time, because
before the depression, the VID and the over abusive mother.
I was a straight A student with a four point
zero GPS. Yeah you got this, And seeing as none
of those three things are happening anymore, it will be
better this time. Absolutely. I'll be taking courses out of
community college to not spend much money. I mostly decided
(48:18):
to go back because the field I wanted to succeed
in I'll need more knowledge. This has nothing to do
with anyone else but me, But there is a little
bit left to this story.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
Do you know what LP wants to do?
Speaker 1 (48:29):
No, some something in New York City. I think she
wants to go her own way, be your own person,
and go back to school.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
If I had to do it again, I wouldn't go
back to I wouldn't do school because I could have
learned everything I know by myself.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
I definitely would I needed that structure. It was great
for me.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Well yeah, I mean theater, well.
Speaker 1 (48:47):
Theater inlet though I don't think you need to go
to school for theater, but I think that I really
wanted more. I was really looking for a more academic
side MM rather than just like learning how to act,
and I think that UCST provided that to me.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
Yeah, but I mean just a bit. It might seem
like she's going to medical or something like that school.
Go for it. I think that's a good pivot instead
of New York City. Right now she is.
Speaker 1 (49:09):
Going to New York. I think she's just also doing
community college there.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
Oh oh great, both Okay, yeah, go do it. It's scary,
but you're gonna you got this. It was scary moving
to LA but it's been like the best decision of
my life.
Speaker 3 (49:20):
The one thing that scared me for op was like,
oh we went on was was it a four month
or four week like excursion to New York? And loved
it four week it was a four week and was like,
I already know I want to move here. I was like,
do you know how much it costs New York's expence?
New York is one of the most expensive cities to live.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
So expensive I thought Cinta Monica was the most expensive
New York is.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
The thing is that you're you might be paying the
same that like I'm probably paying No, I'm playing less
than my friend is in New York for what we have.
Speaker 3 (49:49):
I have it's probably half of this room.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
It is. I want to say her bedroom is from
here to like that the end of that desk and
like maybe like to where you are. It's tiny. I've been,
and she's saying more than I am.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
But here's the positive of New York is the public transport.
Speaker 1 (50:07):
Transport. You're around a lot of stuff.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
You don't have a car, usually don't need a car.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
Yeah, there's so much going on. But with LA you
get way more space.
Speaker 3 (50:13):
But again he might love like that, but again that's
just life. You figure it out.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
But no gardens. It's yeah, I'll probably do the city
life for the next like five to ten years. I
don't think I can do this forever.
Speaker 1 (50:26):
I love this.
Speaker 2 (50:27):
It's this is all I got, dude, being able to
like sped your legs and like shoot a firearm on
your property and not worrying about what other people think.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
N't want city life.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (50:38):
You said I do want city live.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
I said I might do this for the next five
to ten years.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Yeah, okay, I thought you were saying, like, oh, I
want city life, Like this wasn't city life.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Because I'd like to have my own land, be able
to drive around like Forerunner have a dog outside. I don't.
It's an outside dog. It just lives outside and that's
all he does, and he takes care of the goats.
That's what I want, all right. Yeah, this this is
stuff I feel constrained.
Speaker 1 (51:01):
Also knowing that I'm going alone. My mother would definitely
not support my choice, even if she knew I'm going
back to school, and will not be telling her until
the week of meat leaving, which is what I said.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
Yep, you said, Gowing, I'm going go that g real low.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
I just looked at Angelus. She said, did you say
spread your legs rightly?
Speaker 2 (51:21):
I did, Yes, spread your legs out.
Speaker 3 (51:22):
You want to see him do it?
Speaker 2 (51:24):
You just like, just you feel like you can do this.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
Yeah, maybe I'll send her the link to these boasts.
I have told all my siblings and cousins and not
too worried about them spilling the beans because not many
of us talk to our parents. I've also asked them
not to. I want to again thank everyone for supporting
me and chasing my dreams. And I'm not even gonna
shot at them. Thanks guys, And that is the end
of that story, folks. I think Opie's you know, I
(51:49):
think Ope knows what they want.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
Good and speaking about shouting out people I'm gonna look
at that Facebook messenger and see that person responded.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
Folks, that is the end of that story and the
end of this appen. So if you love us, make
sure to subscribe.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
This is John Them Okay, Storytime podcast hosts.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
And we have some good story is coming up for you.
That's right. But before that, we have a little morsel
of a two minute outbreak from the sponsors keeping the
show delicious.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
My parents gave me a phone to track me twenty
four seven.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
At least they know where you're gonna be at.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
This is that one episode on Black Mair. I sixteen male,
recently got my first phone from my parents.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Okay, this makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
They told me that one of the conditions for having
it was that I have to share my location with
them at all times. This feels like an invasion of privacy,
but they insist that it's just for my safety.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Welcome to the world.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
I mean, yeah, I know most parent When I was sixteen,
most of my friend's parents had Life three sixty or
you know whatever tracked their location.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Just don't have a phone. Man.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
My parents never had that for me because I wasn't
going anywhere. By the way, this comes from Researcher Talk
fifty sixty two and if you want to spit your
own stories, go to the r slash. Okay, story Time
separate it. So I'm very responsible. I get good grades.
I have never snuck out. This doesn't feel reasonable to me.
I have tried having calm conversations about it, and I
(01:13):
have pointed out that I always tell them where I'm going,
but they're holding firm. I don't actually have an issue
with them knowing where I am, but the idea of
them knowing where I am instantly just through looking up
my phone makes me uncomfortable. You're said, honestly, I'm like, Okay, Personally,
I don't want to have life through sixty for kids
(01:35):
or whatever, but I know so many parents who have it,
so I'm like, dude, I'm sorry. You don't really get
to say, like my I had a friend whose parents
made her have Life through sixty and she was also
a good kid, never went out, you know, never snuck
out or anything, and she had to have life through sixty.
There's not much you can do.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
My parents gave my brother life. They didn't have like smartphones. Yeah,
so they got Life through sixty for my brother so
I could track him.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
But also I feel like I I'm going to be
sharing my location with my kids because I share my
location with everyone, and I hope my kids want to
share the location with me.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah, I won't make it. But you're sixteen, man, just
don't have a phone. If that, if you're uncomfortable with that,
just don't have a phone.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Anna says, you're only sixteen. I mean, I get it,
but it is common. Yeah, that's my thing. I'm like,
I get why you're upset, but also, like so many kids,
so many parents do this.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Also get a flip phone.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
That's what I had. I have an idea for how
to express how I feel about it. I plan to
buy a novelty prison or costume for the ankle tag.
Oh my god, you're such a sixteen year old. Roll
up my leg to show the tag and tell them
this is a symbolic representation of how I feel over
the location tracking. You're so sixteen, you're so sixteen. Luckily
(02:41):
I saw the kind of costume I'm looking for in
a shop. The ankle tag is plastic, has a blinking
red light and straps around your ankle with falchro It's
super fake looking, but perfect for what I want to say.
Laugh at you. Your parents are gonna laugh at you, Jesus.
But I don't know if this is a good idea.
It's not. I want to make a point that I'm
(03:01):
not sure how to react. Am I just being disrespectful
or could this be a good idea. I just want
to hear other thoughts.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yeah, I did something to be petty once. I got
sick once and I put on a full body suit
to show everyone that I'm sick but staying like, you know, safe,
And it backfired and everyone actually loved it, and they
wouldn't let me out of the room unless I had
it on. I'd get nasty looks for a week if
I didn't have it on.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
So funny, that's so funny.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
So in that sense it makes sense. But this, dude,
I mean, go for it, you know what. It's an idea.
It'd be funny looking back at it. But if you
are a minor under eighteen, yeah, you're gonna have tracking
on your phone.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
They're gonna track you, bud, and it's stinks because you
want You're like, I'm sixteen, I want to be free.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Yep. My kids will not have a screen until they're eighteen.
I will give them, Yeah, a flip phone, I agree,
but ID nothing like that. No, unless it's like we're together,
we can have you know, we can Like I say.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
A lot of schools are probably gonna make kids hat
because that's what my school did at fifth grade. We
have to get iPads, but I'm not They're not having
it at home. They're gonna have to figure out how
to entertain themselves. I'm getting my kids books and they're
gonna read like I did. I read all the time. Yeah,
and I'll give them I don't know, like twister and
then play twister.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Well, kids will do with the parents, Like if your
parents are always looking at the phone, so that I.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Will have to actually work on my own content.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Well, dude, just a book and a phone in there.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yeah, they'll never catch on. I mean I do read
a lot, So I think I'll just make them watch
movies with me. Yeah, and they can't do it on
their own.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I watch it again pretty good if I'm like with someone, Yeah,
in an area, I don't look at my phone. Sometimes
I just have to run away and go look at
my phone, and just like might I try to look
at my phone. It's like a smoking break, and it's
like how many smoke breaks a day do I have?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (04:49):
And it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Crazy thing too. I'm pretty sure Life three sixty just
got sued for like leaking they did they kes yikes?
Oh rough Bailey bugs is with love? Tell me you
don't have any kids without telling me? Yeah, I mean,
I know. It's it's really hard to have no screens
in this day and age. But I do want to.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
One can hope. One can hope.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
You know, do you wanna? Because I mean, Mike, I
will say, like, it is possible because that's what my
parents did. We didn't have a TV. And I feel
like literally everyone around us was like, hot, what you
don't have a TV? How do you raise your kids
without a TV?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
And you can see how excited she gets when she
watches TV?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah it, you know, so maybe it wasn't best, but
like you know, you can raise It is possible. It
is just hard and.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
My mom did that to me, so like I'm probably
gonna do it anyways, getting into this who I.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Just want to do what my parents did in terms
of stuff common or one. I'm on your parents' side.
When our daughter started driving, that will be a requirement
for her until she becomes an adult. Parents worry about
their kids twenty four seven. What they are demanding is
not unreasonable. You're still a teen. There a house, There
are rules, not to mention they're paying for the phone.
Oh Pee. I just wish they would be willing to
(05:58):
make some kind of compromise. I have to you know,
you're sixteen, they're compromise with you. I have told them
why it bothers me, and I have listened to their
view as well. Like I said, I don't have an
issue with the idea of them knowing where I am.
The way they're doing it just makes me feel like
they don't trust me when I never give them a
reason not to. Commoner two, I can sympathize. It may
not be trust. It's like worry. Like I said, parents
(06:20):
worry about kids NonStop, and that is not an exaggeration.
What's your compromise, oh p says I would be happy
to text them and tell them where I'm going. If
it's not somewhere they expect in advance, they would still
know where I am, but it would be because I
told them. Commoner two, it's not the same. Again, what
they are demanding is not unreasonable. Commenter three. It's a
(06:40):
safety thing. It's their phone that they pay for that
they let you have. The real reason you got it
in the first place, was it because you're such a
good boy. It's so that you can call your parents
if you end up in a sketchy or dangerous situation.
The location tracking is for the same reason, basically from
a parent. Don't be a knuckle oeut about it. Enjoy
your new phone. It was a and yeah, you have
(07:01):
to share your location or you could just go back
to not having a phone, Opie says. I will admit
probably the best protests would be to just give the
phone back. For that reason. I do accept that they
paid for the phone, so it's their right to make
this demand. I just wish they could agree to some
kind of middle ground, like if I just text them
where I am from time to time. It's the feeling
they don't trust me that bothers me. Oh, I guess.
(07:23):
Common to three says, it's not really about trusting or
not trusting you. It's about not trusting everyone who is
not you. I guarantee most of your friends share their
location with their parents. I can probably also guarantee that
they lie to their friends about it to seem cool.
And there is an update, folks. Yeah, yeah, Honestly, a
lot of your friends, a lot of other sixteen year
(07:44):
olds probably have to share the location.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
For its Yeah. Yeah, facts, facts, it's just just how
it is.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
It's just you're sixteen, two years you want to have
to worry about it.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
It won't even be there, you know what I'm mad about.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I share my location with my parents and they don't
share their location with me.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Rude, Samsung's sharing it because wasn't he like you guys
don't want to know where I'm at? No, he shares
his location, does okay? Good for them?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
I have a location. Yeah, I have most people's location.
I want everyone's location in my life. If you're in
my life and you're my friend, I should not your location.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Oh boy?
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Do you check them all like little? Yeah? Them all
like sims? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Sometimes you ever check where I am? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
If I'm wondering where you are?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah, I do that too. Yeah, it's not I won't
do it as much anymore.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Oh why I want you to check where I am?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
I do? I do?
Speaker 1 (08:33):
But like Riley does it and he goes, why aren't
you home?
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah? Yeah that's exactly, or like, uh, don't come home
for a while?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Oh you tell me, you know, well.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I'm like I'm hoping you won't come home. Oh minutes.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Yeah, that's okay, you can check.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Okay, cool?
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Yeah, Tom, Like I want your location. I want everyone's location.
Give it to me. I just like to know where
people are. That's not a crime.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
How did this get put as a story? There's better
have like something crazy to update sixteen year old complaining
that their parents are tracking them.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
You know what, Sometimes we got to handle the normal ones.
Hi everyone, You can see my last post. In short,
my parents said that me sharing their location with them
was a requirement for me to have a phone. I
planned to buy a prisoner outfit from a novelty costume
shop for the fake ankle tag and wear that as
a symbolic protest. A lot of people gave me good advice,
telling me that it would be immature and not make
(09:26):
them change their minds. So I decided to be the
bigger person. Instead of demanding they changed the rules, I
would instead choose the other option, which was to just
not have a phone anymore.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Okop Nice.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
I put the phone back in its box, rehearsed what
I was going to say, and then went to my
parents after dinner. I told them I appreciated the phone,
but that I'd rather not have a phone than feel
constantly watched and I handed it back to them.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Dude, you're gonna have such a hard time when you
realize that the government have satellites there constantly watching you,
and you will never get away from someone not watching.
You were always going to be watched. You will never escape.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Okay, it did not go well at first, they laughed. Yeah,
of course they didn't laughed a sixteen year old. What
I don't watch a phone? I feel like you don't
trust me, And they said, you're sixteen, you're a baby. Yeah,
we're gonna track you. At first they laughed, but then
my mom was very blunt with me. She said that
they gave it to me as a gift because she
thought it would make me feel like an adult who
(10:25):
was responsible enough for a phone, but that was for
her peace of mind. She said, I had only recently
started to leave the house by myself and it was
making her worry sick, and that she wanted me to
not have a phone at all at first, but thought
having my location made it worth it. I had wanted
a phone for a while because all my friends do,
and she thought giving me a phone would solve all
our problems, and she didn't expect me to make such
(10:45):
an issue of the location tracking, and she said she
regretted framing it as a choice, but that she said
it that way because she didn't want to hurt my
feelings and also didn't expect me to do this. She
got upset, and then my dad was angry at me,
if for we upsetting my mind. He told me I
was being ungrateful and that I clearly wasn't ready for
that kind of responsibility that came with owning a phone,
(11:07):
if I couldn't even handle something that's basic as letting
us know where you are. I tried to explain that
I wasn't trying to be difficult. I just didn't like
the feeling of being watched all the time, But it
didn't matter. The mood had totally shifted. They sent me upstairs.
About an hour later, they called me back down. Then
they gave the phone back to me, but said they
had reevaluated it. I then discovered this means the phone
(11:30):
was now heavily locked down. I basically can't do anything
on it anymore other than call or text them and
my friends. They deleted all my social media apps and
put a passport on the app store, so I can't
download them again apparently, dude, what is this phone for.
It's literally just like, honestly, they should just give you
an air tag. That's what they want.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
AirTag micro trip them. Yeah, like Courtney says.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Location sharing is still on, but they now check to
make sure it's in my back back before I leave
the house. Now, if I want to use Reddit and
I have to use my laptop, what is the so okay?
So op? He was like, oh my goodness, I'm gonna
get back at them. I'm gonna show them that this
isn't okay. And it went so much worse now he
can't even use his phone.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, if you really want to know where he's at.
But I'm a new pair of shoes all the time
and slip a tile in them and you're good.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
It's like I have the downside of having a phone,
but with none of the upsides now. But there is
a little bit left to this story.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Everyone in this room and in chat, raise your hand
if you're being tracked right now.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
I mean, yeah, I just told you that all my
friends on my location Charlie keon.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Okay, everyone, The only way to get away from this.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Go off the grid. Everyone.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
I don't think you can't get away from this.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I think that this Yeah, Purple ax Alotle says this
backfired big time.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I just I just love that this story is commentary
on like the kid is us. Yeah, you know what,
the kid is us. Humans just wanted to live life
and we are giving something by the government, and it's like, oh,
this is great. I love this, but I don't want
to feel like I'm being watched all the time and
laugh at us all the time, like, hahaha, No, you
have to have this ano They're forcing it on us
(13:04):
with lower capabilities. It's the panopticon, man, dude, we can't
but escape.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
The thing is that I think that a lot of parents,
like you're sixteen and personally can't do much about this.
Do I think they're being unreasonable for like taking away
all of the things on your phone when you haven't
really done anything wrong. Yeah, but yeah, it sucks. There's
not really much you can do.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Yeah, this is just a story about the bigger cause
of the world we live in.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Yeah. Sure, but there's a little bit left to the story.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Dare I say the I word.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
I told them that I wish I had gone with
my first plan instead wearing a fake ankle tag, and
they said they wish I had done that because it
would have been the funniest thing they'd ever seen. I
agreed as a joke. They renamed my phone and find
Maya's ankle monitor. Your pars are kind of funny. I
obviously get they're trying to be tongue in cheek, but
(13:51):
it feels like it's at my expense. It is now,
I just wish I had never brought any of this
up to begin with. If anyone has any ideas on
what I should do now and then, please you know,
because it feels like I can't win commoner once is,
take your lumps, apologize. Wearing the costume was never gonna work.
The comments in your previous posts said your ankle bracelet
idea was immature. Also, look at it this way. If
(14:13):
your parents jokingly wore prison guard uniforms to drive their
point home to you, would that make you have more
respect for them? Probably not? So Wow, you're surprised at
this reaction. They love you, and sometimes that means boundaries,
boundaries that can be opened up if you go along
with them and give them peace of mind. The mature
thing to do would I've been to accept the rules
and request to renegotiate at a later date. That shows maturity.
(14:36):
It shows you recognize that trust has to be earned
and maintained because it always will be. What makes you
so special to not have to go through that. Forget
the good grades and behavior. They gave you an expensive phone.
They're going to want to make sure they can find
it if you innocently lose it. So it isn't all
about you, per se, but you're important to them, So
learn from this and do better. Oh Pi says, I
realized the costume idea was immature, which is why I
(14:59):
didn't do it. I handed the phone back, but they
wouldn't take it. Now, I feel like they're being vindictive
by locking the phone down while forcing me to have
it in the first place. Am I misunderstanding their intent?
Common or two says kind of. Yeah, the phone isn't optional.
You're sixteen and wandering around alone. You need a phone
in case your car breaks down or you get lost
or going to be late or whatever. It's not safe
(15:20):
for you to be out without parents and without a phone.
I agree.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I got a phone in eighth grade.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
We do get live in a world, but like also
didn't everybody else then the guard the parents live without
a phone and location track and everything.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah, but okay, do you know how any freaking cereal
on a livers there were in the eighties that people
just didn't know about.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
In the eighties, yeah, people were getting.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Picked up, dude. My dad almost got like picked up
by this like super creepy do when he was a kid.
Like his friend at the time or his neighbor, they
decided a hitchhike with this guy or this guy like
went over and was like, oh, do you wanna do
you want to ride? And my dad was like no,
and then his friend was like yeah and like almost
got you know what, almost happened and he jumped out
(16:00):
of the car though.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Good for him.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
So my point is when kids didn't have phones, things
were bad rappen and now we have the phones and
we got to use them, you know, for safety too.
I think that when you start going out and anonymous
as there were payphones, kids were still calling their parents
to tell them, you know, what was going on, or
parents would like come back at this time.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
You know, someone was were alive. And remember the eighties, Riley,
how was it Purple Trader? You made it out. Did
you have your parents have a location track? You let
me know that I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
I see why having Well, my point is less about
the location travel tracking and more I understand why they
want him to have a phone because once you start
going out on your own or driving on your own, Yeah,
did your parents absolutely want to make sure like what
if you get in a car?
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Act?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Are these parents like kind of trending towards the helicopter
parent vibe.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
I the only reason why I don't think they are
fully helicopter parents is because I know so many parents
that did this. When I was kidding, my parents didn't
do it, but like, I know so many parents who
do it, so it is super common for our parents
to do it. I wouldn't do it as a parent.
My parents didn't do it. But I think that you know,
as a parent, this isn't out Like, this isn't abusive.
You know, like there are parents who take away their kids' doors.
(17:07):
That's not okay.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
But I might take away my kid's door if they're
up to no good.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
I don't think you should have a take away at
kid's door. I think that a door is privacy, and
I think that every child deserves a measure of privacy.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Okay, but what if they're like selling cocaine out.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Of there, then tell them to not sell cocaine.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
But they keep doing it.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
They're gonna keep doing it without a door. They're just
gonna do it. Not at your house. Well, are you
going to keep them locked in their room? Oh well
you can't now because they don't have a door.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Well, I'm gonna take away their door. So I know
if they're doing it or not.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
They would do it elsewhere.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
I'd probably teach them. Well, anyways, I.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Don't think that getting where the door is ever justifyed.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Thankfully, my parents never came up with that idea. Yeah,
I think I've always kept my door open. It never
was closed.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
That's a different closing door, not closing, a different taking
away door. Entirely weird. So the phone isn't optional. They
try to let you be a mostly adult about it,
and you refused. You behaved immaturely and in ts that
this whole situation had to happen on your terms. So
now they can't trust you to act like an adult
with the phone. So you get treated like a kid
(18:08):
with the phone. Because the phone isn't optional. If you
want to fix this, start acting like an adult, Opie says.
I disagreed that I was being immature but trying to
hand the phone back. But I have taken the time
to digest what everyone has said to me here, and
I think I've accepted I was wrong to make a
big deal about this. I have tried to think of
situations where having the phone's location would help, but where
(18:29):
me is simply texting them wouldn't. I could think of
a few, like if the phone itself was lost somewhere.
I think the reason why it's bothering me is simply
because I feel I have no choice over it. But
when I'm older and have my own phone plan that
I can choose to stop sharing my location, yep, if
it's something I still object to. At that point, I
decided to talk to my parents once again about this,
and I raised that point to them. They agreed and said,
(18:51):
I'm right and it would be my choice, but even
when I'm an adult, they would still worry about me.
We hugged and there is no tension in the house anymore.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yay.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Heck yeah. I think I learned from this experience that
I don't like seeing my parents as.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Enemies anemans of the state.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Yeah. I think the conclusion I've come to is that
the tool itself isn't good or bad, but how it's used.
It can be used to be controlling. But if it's
not being used in that way, then it's harmless. I
feel really silly for making an issue out of something
that didn't need to be one.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Yeah, this is all written by the US government trying
to get us to be okay that they're tracking us
with their credit cards.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah, or it's written by sixteen year olds who was
annoyed at his parents.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
You get to choose that reality, listen.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Yeah, I think I think, gopee, you're sixteen in two years.
You can choose whatever you want to do. I remember
my friends who had life three sixty complaining about it
all the time and me being like, what that's terrible.
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I don't think it's eighteen. Kids are able to do
whatever they want to do.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Well, I mean, yeah, he might still be on his
friends or his parents.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Once you're out of the house and paying for your
own stuff, you do whatever you want.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, But I think when you're eighteen, they should not
be like putting you know, parent controls on your phone
at that point, that's ridiculous. Maybe I think that would
be ridiculous if at eighteen my parents put like controls
on my phone, I'd be like I did. Think it's
a little bit different than tracking. I think that's a
step too far. When you're eighteen, maybe what do you say?
Maybe I don't age you.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Consent my ray soon, and then you're gonna get canceled
for saying that eighteen year olds should have this way
of life. What if the age of consent is a
twenty one and now everyone's going to count to you
because you didn't say it was twenty one, they might.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
That doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
They're gonna canst to you when you're sixty, when know
the age of concent goes to twenty one. What calling
it all right?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
That doesn't make any sense?
Speaker 2 (20:36):
What do you mean it doesn't make any sense?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
What do you mean? What do I mean?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Okay, this is wild take, But you used to it
was sixteen the age of sixteen in the UK. You
can vote at sixteen in the UK. Would you say
kids in the UK at sixteen should have parents or
controls on the phone?
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Vote in the UK at sixteen right.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Noway, you can if they's passed it. I think it
was in Germany or the UK somewhere in there.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
The UK is not Germany, I.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Said, one of those countries. I forget. That's both European.
I don't keep both the Europeans.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
What I'm talking about is in certain areas and you
could in France. In France and that stuff, you can
go to clubs at sixteen?
Speaker 1 (21:09):
You can, yeah, because there's okay, can.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
You have what about them? Should they have parents controls
if they go to the club at sixteen?
Speaker 1 (21:15):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
She knows she's about to get canceled now she's backing
on what you're talking about. M codder odder. Alright, alright,
that's a different culture. Well then age consent Kansas sixteen?
Should those kids be Should those kids have parents will
control if they can make?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Age of consent is different than.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Adult I'm just asking his phone stuff. I think that
this is a bigger story than us as a sixteen
year old. I think this is a bigger story as
us as Americans or wherever we live with us being
tracked everywhere?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
All right, Oh, I mean Riley's on the conspiracy theory.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Also, come check out my conspiracy theory YouTube channel that
I'm going to make so me and Dakota are doing it.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Okay, I love that for you.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
She's a spin off. We're gonna make a spin off. Guys,
We've got an Sylvia just hates me because to view
the world differently.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
No, and you're so annoying. I'm literally trying to give
like actual commentary, and you're like.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Maybe maybe I just I just did not like that
story because there was no cheating or anything bad happening.
Now this story right here, okay, this one might be
all right. All right, here we go. I refuse to
share my aunt's inheritance.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Don't share with anyone.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
My thirties female aunt, sixties female recently passed away less
than a year after being diagnosed with stage four cancer.
She's never been married, never had kids. I'm one of
six nieces and nephews. Both my sister and female cousin
Nina are married with kids. My male cousin, Caleb forty male,
is married with two daughters, and neither of my younger
(22:49):
brothers is married. They are largely irrelevant to this story.
So it looks like we're going to be messing around
with Caleb and Nina. Oh, I do not know how
old Nina is.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
What do you mean messing around?
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Like not messing around, but like that's gonna be my
main characters of the story. Okay, I'm single and I
have no intention of having kids of my own. By
the way, this comes from Family Jewels Throwaway and if
you want to smart your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay stories. I'm subur so background. My aunt
was a doctor and went to a palliative care when
she was diagnosed, so she wanted to enjoy the time
(23:21):
she had left, mostly with travel. I was close to
graduating from surgery regisency when she was diagnosed. She asked
if I would be willing to be her care physician
after graduation, accompanying her on travels, prescribing her pain meds,
et cetera. She paid me a little bit more than
I'd been making as a resident. I paid for my
travel business and first class flights, nice hotels, et cetera,
(23:43):
contributed towards my student loans, and put me on the
deed to her house. I moved in with her. I
also moonlit slash did locums when we weren't traveling, and
after she got too sick to travel, so I could
keep up my surgery skills. Long story shorter. Even with
the time I wasn't making a full surgeon salary, I
(24:05):
still benefited financially from the agreement. My aunt had been
a doctor in the Foreign service and had accumulated a
lot of Middle Eastern carpets, furniture, silk and cashmere scarves,
art jewelry in her career. Everything was open to all
her nieces and nephews to split as we see fit,
(24:25):
except the jewelry was left specifically to her nieces. Okay, wow,
so she was making bank.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yeah, she had a lot of stuff to give away.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Dang, Okay. There was surprisingly little drama splitting any of it.
We even had a praise, so we were all in
agreement on the value of what we were getting. My sister,
Nina and I all have different enough tastes in jewelry
that we easily agreed on how to split the nice stuff,
and most of the custom jewelry was set aside for
my niece and Nita's daughter for when they were older.
(24:58):
They're both under four. Here's where Caleb comes, and he
said that his daughters deserve to have some of my
aunt's jewelry as well. My sister and Nina said they're okay.
Was splitting the custom jewelry to include his daughter, but
he said that they deserve some of the nice stuff
as well. My niece will probably get my sister's jewels someday,
and possibly mine and Nina's daughter will probably inherit what
(25:20):
Nina got. So Caleb says it's not fair and my
niece and Nina's daughter will get more than his daughter.
Caleb also says, since I got the house, the furniture
in the house that no one else wanted, got to
travel with my aunt, and she paid off a large
portion of my student loans, that I should share the wealth.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
No, it was divvied up. How I was divvied up.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I do.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
The only thing is I think that like it would
probably be nice because you don't want kids, it'd probably
be nice to give your niece if you have a
relationship with her, that jewelry. We you know, like she
inherits it from you, But I don't think you owe
it to anyone. No, that was that was given to you,
Like everything was divvied up by the aunt.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Yeah, The only thing that I have that this could
be wrong is the jewelry thing, Caleb, if you want
something that your daughter's remembered, I would probably be like, Hey,
is there anything I could give to my daughter so
that they can remember their aunt? Like one nice piece
of jewelry? That's that Everything else is set in place.
You shouldn't even say anything exactly, a dude, don't even
get me started on inheritance. Right now, my siblings are
(26:21):
staying out of it, and Nina says it's ultimately my choice.
But that what Caleb says, is it wrong? Am I
they for holding my aunt's will? Is this a heel
worth passing away on? I have a great relationship with
my cousins and siblings and don't want this to sour
that top comment. This happened to my family once my
uncle gave my brother his truck, and my brother wanted
(26:42):
to do altercations to the truck that he bought from
my uncle. But my uncle was like, like add like
lift it or like you know, customize or whatever. But
my uncle was like, no, don't do that to my
truck after my brother bought it. Yeah, but it already
is exactly, So my uncle came to my sister, or
it came to his there my mom. It was like, hey,
I don't want this to be a big thing. I'm
(27:03):
gonna buy the truck back because it's what I really
care for because I've had it for a long time.
But I don't want this to mess up anything. And
he talked it out like an adult and they worked
out a compromise.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Well, there you go.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
It was a compromise.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
What was my uncle bought back the truck and then
my brother just got another vehicle. Yeah, yeah, and all
you need to do and that's all you need to
do this right here.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
He could have totally come to her and said like, hey,
it would really mean a lot if you would, you know,
put aside some jewelry for my daughter.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
With the intention not to sour the relationship. That's huge.
I don't like the middleman here. Nina's like, ah, you.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Know, he is a run like go, I don't know, Nina,
give your jewelry away.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
There you go, there we go, Yeah, give your piece
away to him. Come ask me. Also, Caleb's daughter could
just so recycle or like full circle. This is since
op he's going to be a surgeon and a doctor
she's going to be traveling everywhere one of his daughters,
could she?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Because yeah, she's like, you're going to be the aunt
that gives me the inherent when.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Uh top comment, not the a hole.
Your aunt specifically left it to you. She clearly cares
about it, and it wouldn't be right to disrespect her
wishes I had hold on to the jewelry, Opie replies,
my aunt was really interested in the whole jewelry played
in women's inheritance and financial security in various cultures, which
is why I think she specifically left the jewelry just
(28:22):
to the nieces and not all six of us. But
I know the last thing she wanted was for us
to argue about the inheritance and my great grandfather. Her
grandfather passed away. Her cousin contested parts of the will
and it caused a lot of drama. My dad still
hasn't spoken to that cousin and it's been more than
thirty years. Someone replied to OPI, I think Caleb's argument
(28:43):
that you got more is really petty in a low blow,
trying to manipulate you. You rearranged your entire life to
be your aunt's career that isn't insignificant, and it sounds
like you had a really special relationship that she acknowledged
in her will. Caleb also inherited items and their proceeds
from selling some items, so he wasn't left out of
(29:04):
the will. There isn't anything wrong here that needs to
be fixed in the future. You can sell a gift
or leave the items to whomever you like. If you
have a close relationship with Caleb's daughters, maybe that will
include them. Given his age, I'm assuming it would be
some years yet before they have any use for inherited
family hairloms hope. He replies, Yeah, his daughters are two
and five, so it's not like there's any piece of jewelry.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Yeah, they're not even anyone's.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Been really eyeing for a wedding or anything.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
I truly think if Caleb had come to her and said, hey,
is there anything you could set aside when you pass?
I don't know. Is there anything like later down the line,
when my daughters are like older that you would wouldn't
mind giving up that? I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Another top comment, not the a hole. I'm sorry for
your loss. You must have come quite close to your
aunt during the time you cared for her. I think
your cousin needs to appreciate that you sacrificed a lot
to provide care for your aunt, and that that timeout
may have hel back career progression, although you were wise
to keep in date to be able to maintain where
you were before you gave up full time work. Whatever
(30:08):
your aunt's will said, your property is yours now to
dispose of as you wish. So, as you say, have
a good relationship with your cousin, might be nice to
consider sharing items that you're not really using or have
no real attachment to, or selling them and sharing the proceeds.
You are under absolutely no obligation to do any of that, though,
(30:30):
as your loss was quite shocking and recent, don't make
any big decisions and ask your siblings for support. Hope.
He replies, thank you for that. My aunt was awesome
and I really miss her. She was physically present when
I was growing up because of her foreign service career,
but she was there every Christmas instead of postcards from
everywhere she went. I looked up to her for as
(30:52):
long as I can remember, and that's why I became
a doctor. Getting to spend those last months with her
and getting to see the favorite places where she lived
visited was a blessing that I wouldn't trade anything for.
I think taking some time to sit on decisions is
the way to go. It's jewelry. It's not like it's
going bad. And his daughters are two and five. It's
not like there's a wedding coming up that they need
(31:12):
jewelry for. Anyway, we have an update. I just saw
the title key unspoiled.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
The title and I didn't actually see it, so.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Good good, Yeah, look away. If you haven't seen it,
I will say there has been ever since my great
grandpa died, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. Ever since my
great grandpa died, there have been some like talks about
the inheritance that have rubbed me the wrong way.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Yeah, people, money talk is so tricky. I mean, I've lost,
you know, a couple two uncles and the money talk
that happens, and even now like my grandparents are older,
it's tricky. Yeah, and my dad's one of ten even
you know, we people with the best of intentions tricky
trying to figure it all that out.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
I have definitely looked at a few people a little
differently since and I'm.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Like, yeah, no, money is money is hard man. Money
makes things tricky. I don't even care if I get
my family relationships.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
The only thing I want for my great grandpa's house
is his popcorn bucket that he would make popcorn for
me as I grew up. That's the only thing I want.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
I honestly don't want my I want my parents' house
to be like Salmon I's shared vacation home, you know,
like summer home or whatever, like where all the kids
come and we all hang out at the house. I
want that.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Oh, Like, I don't want.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Either anyone to get it.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Yeah, I want both.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Of us to have it.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
I just want that popcorn bucket he makes, and he
has too, so me and my brother because every Friday
night we would go to his house, eat popcorn, watch
I eat ice cream and watch Blue Bloods and Monk
and something else, and then we would work in the
morning every Friday night. It was the best. Anyways, update
Sam here, we're gonna get back to the stories.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
But here's three of its bads from our sponsors.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Am they old for not sharing my aunt's jewelry with
my cousin's kids, positive resolution resolution and because there was
some confusion about who everyone was. Two cousins siblings, Caleb
and Nina. Three siblings. I didn't give them letters, but
let's call them Emma, Dave, and Tom. So these are
all siblings. So that she had two cousins who are siblings,
Caleb ber Nina, and then she has three siblings of
(33:11):
her own, Emma, Dave and Tom. Caleb Banina are cousins.
Emma all have kids. Okay, so Caleb, Nina, and Emma
have kids. Op, Dave and Tom do not. So I'll update.
Six of us got together over the fourth of July.
I was able to disperse the last of the proceeding
from selling the art, rugs, antiques, et cetera that none
of us wanted, that being up being a few thousand
(33:32):
dollars each, not live changing money for any of us,
but nice to have. I will probably use it to
go on a solo trip in my aunt's honor once
I accrue enough vacation now that I'm working full time again.
I had decided, based on your comments, that I would
offer any of my nieces existing and future if Dave
and Tom ended up having kids, and that they could
(33:53):
shop from my inherited jewelry for their weddings. Before I
could even present that solution, Cabb was super apologetic about
the way he had acted, yes, and was feeling guilty
that he hadn't been able to spend more time with
her aunt before she passed away.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
It's great, this is great news.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Yeah, he gained his solution is like, hey.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
I'm sorry, should have done that, should have been more
respectful about it, and we love that.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
This is beautiful small kids at home, work obligations, et cetera.
And jealousy that had been more flexible to travel with
her for those months and that made him lash out. Yeah, yeah, sorry,
was just thinking about Oh man, that did hard. Yeah,
take your time. Oh dude, I will be real. I
(34:39):
have pushed that so far down that I'm not even
really thinking about it because I'm like, oh, I just
got I got a podcasts to do. But then this
story is thinking about my great grandpa through his going
through his care. Wow, okay. Sorry. It turns out his
wife had essentially read him the Riot Act when he
had complained to her that their daughters weren't included. Reminded
him that their daughters have their whole side of the
(35:01):
family reminded him that the jewelry is traditionally passed down
to female lines, the whole bit. He was quite embarrassed
by how childish he had acted, But I did present
that solution, and both Nita and Emma thought it was
such a good idea and that they had the same
when the next generation of girls get married, that they
can choose from their inheritance too.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Oh this is so cute.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Yeah, this is amazing. I like that he comes to
his conclusions. I also don't like the theme of this
episode that everyone's like thinking the right headspace because I
want something crazy to happen.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
I want them oh crazy. But uh, that was the
end of that story. Nope, it's not the end of
that story.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
We got a little bit more.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah, I forgot Yep, that's not the end of that story.
Seems like everything's pretty, it seems like everything's good.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Yeah. I love that women passed down jewelry to each
other to like, you know, that's so cute. I love
that that's so significant.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
I unfortunately did not get any jewelry from my grandmother.
Well that's actually not true. I just realized because a
lot of it went to my aunts. So kind of
a similar thing of it, like it went to my
aunt's rather than my dad, even though I'm here. But
my grandmother years ago gave me this beautiful little like
brooch which I have in my room actually, and it's
(36:13):
like a gold clown with a little pearl belly and
it's kind of like for acting, basically theater thing that
was her mother her Yeah, her mother's I believe her
grandmother who I'm named after, who was also an actor.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Okay, yeah, that's perfect.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Yeah, So that was like that felt really lovely and
I still have that.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
That's cute.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Yeah, it's this beautiful little clown.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Yeah. It's hard divving up stuff too, because there's so
many of us with my great grandpa.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
That's how it was. My dad's family. So much, so
many people and not that much to divvy up. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Yeah, so all is well, Thank you for your support
and kind words. I'm not going no contact with any
of my siblings or cousins. I still miss my aunt.
Orc is not terribly exciting, but it's a paycheck, and
it's nice to see that my surgical skills did not
slip irreparably, but irreparably, irreproberably irreprobably, irreprobably Yeah, there you
(37:11):
Goah you irreparably. That's five syllables right there for a
very short word.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Hey it's actually four.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Okay. Top comment. Your cousin has a good wife, Opie replies,
she's quite awesome. He did well. One of the top comments.
One change you may consider is to set an age,
say twenty five. If they're not married, they can have
the same choosing not everyone gets married. Opie replies, that's
not a bad thing to consider in my thirties. And
while I'm not ruling out marriage someday, I'm also not
(37:39):
really seeking it. Download a comment waiting for the update
that Caleb is broke and will be coming soon, ask
you for a loan, OPI replying, Lol, I read a
lot of best of utter or update. If this were there,
it would be a seven part saga and at the
end I would somehow have twins. Caleb would be divorced
with the gambling or substance habit and expecting triplets with
the mistress. A friend of a friend lawyer would crawl
(38:01):
out of the woodwork for something, and family helps family,
we said at least a dozen times. Yeah, so that's
not gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Great story, Yeah, real real story.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Real story about real people that have real emotions and morals.
Were stories we can read on the story show them.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
I want you to have no morals.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
No morals, cheating, and everyone hates each other. Look right, guys, um,
but we've got another start.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
I'm moving across country without telling my mom because I
know she'll try and stop me.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Can't stop me now.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
So I twenty two female and moving to New York
City within the next six months with a friend I've
known for the last ten years. Twenty one female. Let's
call her Carly.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
It's with a sea, though not with a K.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Well, they're probably trying to like be anonymous and do
it with the sea instead.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
Of a going yeah, dude.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
I currently live somewhere in the Midwest. I'm not telling where,
just for safety reasons, but I have always planned to
move to a difference where I felt I could accomplish
my dreams better and connect more with the people around me.
By the way, this comes from Cool Dinner A five
to one one one and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story
Time subret it. So for all of last year, I
have been traveling across the country, even to the UK,
(39:16):
to find the perfect city. It just so happened that
one of the trips I went on, my friend Carly
came along with me because she also wanted to see
some cities she'd like to move to as well. We
went to New York City and absolutely fell in love.
I also know it could have been just because I
was on vacation, because honestly, everything that could have gone
(39:36):
wrong with the trip went wrong. Nevertheless, we still loved it.
We decided that would be the city we wanted to
move to about four months ago, and I have been
working two jobs plus some side work such as selling
art and clothes to save up for this move. Now
that it's getting closer to the move, I have been
telling some friends and family just so they're prepared, but
I'm thinking about not telling my mom until the week
(39:58):
of the move, or maybe not at all. For context,
my mother and I have never had a good relationship.
She is an immigrant and a single mother of six. Currently,
almost all of her kids are out of the house
except the two youngest twins, who are in junior year
of high school. She honestly doesn't have a good relationship
with any of her kids.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
Oh gosh, Joie.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Her oldest child, twenty seven female, hasn't talked to her
in the last two years.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Ah poof.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Our mom doesn't even know she's currently engaged to a
great woman. The reason for this is because she's your
text book self absorbed person. Anything we do, we're dealing
atdr Like when I was failing classes during the VID
due to stress and depression, all she could do is
scream at me and ask why am I doing this
to her?
Speaker 2 (40:43):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
She also has a lot of double standards between raising
boys and girls, and if you knew what country she
was from, this would be normal. But she has always
put more pressure on her three girls on taking on
more responsibility than her three boys. Part of the reason
my older sister doesn't talk to her anym is because
of this. I could imagine that amount of pressure she
went through. My mom is also not much of a
(41:05):
loving mother. She has probably told me she loved me
twice before, oh my.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Gosh, and it's probably after she did something amazing ouch.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
I can only remember hugging her once, and she really
doesn't show sympathy to anyone ever. Other family members know
this about her and tend to stay away, such as
all of my cousins in half of her own siblings.
On the other hand, I know the reason why she's
like this. It was really hard for her family to
get to America. It's pretty obvious she suffers from PTSD
(41:33):
and other traumatic condition and from the few stories I've
heard about her parents, they were simply monster as compared
to her. And on top of that, raising six children
alone as an immigrant after your partner leaves when you're
giving birth to twins can be very hard on a person.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Oh oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
She also has helped me when I needed a place
to say for six months. I use that time to
save on rent by getting to travel the country and
ultimately choosing to move to New York City. Although she
did get me heck when I stayed with her by
telling me I'm going nowhere in life and how I
need to come up with a real plan in life,
she let me stay for free. She has always pressured
me to go back to school. She believes that the
(42:11):
only way I'll be successful is by doing that. But
I've just gotten out of the worst depression last year
over school, and I think going back will only be
a waste of time, mental health, and money. I also
truly have a real plan when I get to New
York City. My mom has already expressed to me how
it hurts that one of her daughters has gone fully
no contact with her, and how most of her kids
(42:32):
don't talk to her about their lives. Girl, Maybe time
for self reflection.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
I wonder, huh or why huh?
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Maybe we're like, why don't they talk to me?
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Yeah? Maybe look at the common denominator where every.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Daughter doesn't want to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
It's like, oh, I do not enjoy talking to mom.
I do not enjoy talking to Mama. I do not
intartding to mom. What is the common den I wonder why? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (42:54):
And I just know she's going to feel hurt about
me moving across country without telling her. I just get
so much anxiety talking to her. I've told my cousins
about this, who personally know her. They believe I shouldn't
tell her until the very last minute because she'll just
try to sabotage my move. So am I the ale
for not wanting to tell my mom that I'm moving
across country? And there are some comments and I think
(43:15):
an update folks, But what do you think.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
I had a friend with this, whereas one was pretty controlling,
and he went to New York City to grab a poster,
a seven foot poster. Dang, and came back home the
same day he did in twenty four hours. Well then
she'll never know Tennessee to New York City.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
Well, opia's I think moving for a full time.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Yeah, so in that scenario, one day, it's good to know,
but forever, maybe give her a letter. I think would
be good if you don't want to talk to her
in person, because I understand if you're like I cannot
stay yeah, in contact, this is just gonna She's gonna
sabotage it somehow. I think leaving a letter would be perfect.
Speaker 1 (43:47):
I think that you tell her when you're going, you know,
you get everything in order, make sure you have all
the plans set, and then say, hey, I'm leaving. Maybe
like give her a couple of days notice or big Apple,
I'm going to the Big Apple and ain't coming back.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
I don't think so. I think doing a letter if
you feel very strongly that you don't want to have
her sabotage it, because I think the mom would do
something like where she she.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Do though, if you had everything set, car you're taking
could retire. I think you park somewhere else.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
Say you stole something, called the police on you say
you're missing.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Dang, people get crazy. Well, if you truly are that
worried about it, then yeah, don't you know, send her
a letter or whatever. But uh, I don't know. If
you want any sort of relationship with her, I think
tell her.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Leave a note saying we will come back around this later.
I need space.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
Do you the one would like the ransom with like
the different letters magazines like your daughter's in New York City?
Don't try and fine again? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Yeah, but there are some comments, folks, so comment one,
not the a hole. If you're worried about her sabotaging
your move in life, she's been at least emotionally abusive,
then you have every right to keep information to yourself.
Thank you, carm You seem like somebody who tries to
be compassionate and understanding. I think that your outlook on
your mom is a good one. She doesn't deserve to hurt.
(45:07):
She's gone through a lot, and circumstances make being a
good parent difficult, but that is never an excuse to guilt,
trip control, et cetera. Her reaction to you getting the
space that you deserve and may need is not your responsibility.
If she is hurt, then another child is moving on
to healthier relationships. Maybe she'll be more inclined to take
a look at what's really going on. I'm sorry things
(45:29):
can be so complicated, but it sounds like you have
some amazing plans coming up. Don't let anybody stop you.
Moving away also doesn't have to mean no contact. Eck,
maybe you'll grow closer with the distance that helps enforce boundaries.
Good luck, and there is an update, folks. Do you
have any thoughts before we get into that?
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Go to the big Apple.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
Yeah, just leave your laugh let go.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.
Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors
that keep the show going.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
I know I haven't responded to any comments in post yet.
I haven't been able to update sooner because I literally
work all the time time. I work about seventy to
eighty hours a week. I get one day off every
two weeks, and all I do is sleep. Goodness, I
know that sounds tough, but I haven't been more at
peace in my life before I know what I want
and I'm actually able to make it happen. Just wanted
(46:13):
to update everyone about some of my plans and things
that are happening about the move. Rest assured that I
have an actual plan. I have friends who live in
New York in my industry and have at least two
jobs lined up when I go there as backs for
each other, and all this working will lead to at
least ten thousand dollars in savings when I go, not
including the paid for travel, and stay for two to
(46:34):
four weeks before I can find an apartment. Yeah, leave,
you gotta go, I will say. My friend Carly that
I was moving there with has dropped out from coming
with me. That happens. It sucks, but it happens. She
has an opportunity to go to school where she stays
currently for practically free, and she's taking that option. Needless
to say, that does make moving even scarier because I'll
be doing it alone. But that won't stop me from
(46:56):
chasing my dreams and it shouldn't. Sometimes we have this
like idea that all work to go on this trip
with her, or like do something with her friends, and
then you're faced with, oh, I got to do it alone,
and you you know, you have way better you know,
you make way better memories and outcomes than it is
to add that kind of like hand holding going into it.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
I mean that's what happened. When I went to UCSD.
I had to decide. I was like, Wow, none of
my friends are going here. I don't you know. I'm
close enough to my parents, but I'm moving to a
new town where I don't know anyone, and it's scary.
But you figure it out and you make new friends,
you make new relationships, and your life is better for it.
Speaker 3 (47:32):
Sure from the nest.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
Honestly, it helps, and you put into focus that I
really wanted it more than I thought. Edit. Carly actually
read my first post and the comments helped inspire her
to go back to school too. All Right, I'm just
bummed it's not with me. It also made me focus
on what actual steps I need to take to get
to my goals. So I have also decided to go
back to school and redo my freshman year of college. Interesting,
(47:55):
I have applied and been accepted for grants and scholarships.
I'm not too worried about fail like last time, because
before the depression, the VID and the over abusive mother.
I was a straight A student with a four point
zero GPS. Yeah you got this, And seeing as none
of those three things are happening anymore, it will be
better this time. Absolutely. I'll be taking courses out of
community college to not spend much money. I mostly decided
(48:18):
to go back because the field I wanted to succeed
in I'll need more knowledge. This has nothing to do
with anyone else but me, But there is a little
bit left to this story.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
Do you know what LP wants to do?
Speaker 1 (48:29):
No, some something in New York City. I think she
wants to go her own way, be your own person,
and go back to school.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
If I had to do it again, I wouldn't go
back to I wouldn't do school because I could have
learned everything I know by myself.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
I definitely would I needed that structure. It was great
for me.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Well yeah, I mean theater, well.
Speaker 1 (48:47):
Theater inlet though I don't think you need to go
to school for theater, but I think that I really
wanted more. I was really looking for a more academic
side MM rather than just like learning how to act,
and I think that UCST provided that to me.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
Yeah, but I mean just a bit. It might seem
like she's going to medical or something like that school.
Go for it. I think that's a good pivot instead
of New York City. Right now she is.
Speaker 1 (49:09):
Going to New York. I think she's just also doing
community college there.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
Oh oh great, both Okay, yeah, go do it. It's scary,
but you're gonna you got this. It was scary moving
to LA but it's been like the best decision of
my life.
Speaker 3 (49:20):
The one thing that scared me for op was like,
oh we went on was was it a four month
or four week like excursion to New York? And loved
it four week it was a four week and was like,
I already know I want to move here. I was like,
do you know how much it costs New York's expence?
New York is one of the most expensive cities to live.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
So expensive I thought Cinta Monica was the most expensive
New York is.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
The thing is that you're you might be paying the
same that like I'm probably paying No, I'm playing less
than my friend is in New York for what we have.
Speaker 3 (49:49):
I have it's probably half of this room.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
It is. I want to say her bedroom is from
here to like that the end of that desk and
like maybe like to where you are. It's tiny. I've been,
and she's saying more than I am.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
But here's the positive of New York is the public transport.
Speaker 1 (50:07):
Transport. You're around a lot of stuff.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
You don't have a car, usually don't need a car.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
Yeah, there's so much going on. But with LA you
get way more space.
Speaker 3 (50:13):
But again he might love like that, but again that's
just life. You figure it out.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
But no gardens. It's yeah, I'll probably do the city
life for the next like five to ten years. I
don't think I can do this forever.
Speaker 1 (50:26):
I love this.
Speaker 2 (50:27):
It's this is all I got, dude, being able to
like sped your legs and like shoot a firearm on
your property and not worrying about what other people think.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
N't want city life.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (50:38):
You said I do want city live.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
I said I might do this for the next five
to ten years.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Yeah, okay, I thought you were saying, like, oh, I
want city life, Like this wasn't city life.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Because I'd like to have my own land, be able
to drive around like Forerunner have a dog outside. I don't.
It's an outside dog. It just lives outside and that's
all he does, and he takes care of the goats.
That's what I want, all right. Yeah, this this is
stuff I feel constrained.
Speaker 1 (51:01):
Also knowing that I'm going alone. My mother would definitely
not support my choice, even if she knew I'm going
back to school, and will not be telling her until
the week of meat leaving, which is what I said.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
Yep, you said, Gowing, I'm going go that g real low.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
I just looked at Angelus. She said, did you say
spread your legs rightly?
Speaker 2 (51:21):
I did, Yes, spread your legs out.
Speaker 3 (51:22):
You want to see him do it?
Speaker 2 (51:24):
You just like, just you feel like you can do this.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
Yeah, maybe I'll send her the link to these boasts.
I have told all my siblings and cousins and not
too worried about them spilling the beans because not many
of us talk to our parents. I've also asked them
not to. I want to again thank everyone for supporting
me and chasing my dreams. And I'm not even gonna
shot at them. Thanks guys, And that is the end
of that story, folks. I think Opie's you know, I
(51:49):
think Ope knows what they want.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
Good and speaking about shouting out people I'm gonna look
at that Facebook messenger and see that person responded.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
Folks, that is the end of that story and the
end of this appen. So if you love us, make
sure to subscribe.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
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