My relationship is being STRAINED... because my boyfriend has poor sportsmanship! - r/BORUpdates | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:05):
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
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get into the episode.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
My relationship is being strained because my boyfriend is a
poor sport. Oh what a sore loser. Boy friend. Fifty
Mail and I fifty female are at an impasse over numbers.
Not those numbers lol, but together eighteen months not living
together in ages a little loose for usual reasons. By

(00:37):
the way, this comes from outspoken person And if you
want to spit your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay story Time.

Speaker 4 (00:43):
Separate it.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
So we bonded over the love of a very difficult sport.
He introduced me to rugby the community and opened a
lot of doors for me. The first nine months to
a year was fabulous. We worked so hard to level up,
so many great days, weeks, weekends, so much mutual support
and joy. So what's the problem. He's always disappointed by

(01:06):
his competition results despite a lot of hard work and
money invested, and gets super grumpy. He's disappointed even when
he actually did quite well. He always beats me, but
I'm closing ground if I try to talk at all
about the results, rankings, numbers to gain insight and help
us train smarter. He gets annoyed and shays I'm violating
his boundary of not discussing numbers. But that means I

(01:29):
also can't talk about my own results, my own wins,
my own progress, without running the risk of violating whose boundary.
I feel like I'm seeing sides of him now that
I really don't like. He's insecure and unpredictable. He's blown
up a few times at me, but later he doesn't
even seem to remember, so trying to talk through them
doesn't happen. He likes to remind me that he's the

(01:50):
member at the expensive clubs, and Loki threatens to exclude
me when he's mad at me about something. I've put
in a lot of work to build our social circle
and community, and that is both scary and appalling to
me that he can so easily exclude me from the
clubs where social events happen. A few months ago, I
placed highly in my division in a really big competition,

(02:12):
my first big award. He missed the awards ceremony to
hang out with a friend. He acted like my disappointment
in him not being there to celebrate with me was unreasonable.
He's currently stonewalling me. Yesterday he brought up his disappointing
performance at a recent event. I made the mistake of
looking up a number in the post results and shared
it with him. He got irritated and said he was

(02:33):
tired of telling me to stop talking about the numbers
and that he had a decision to make. He didn't
care that he was the one that brought it up.
He hung up on me. I sent a short apology
text no response of any kind. That was twenty four
hours ago. He usually reappears after a few days and
pretends like nothing happened. I don't think he's upset that
I'm improving much faster than he is. I think he's

(02:55):
grappling with his own disappointment and feeling like he might
not be able to do as well as he wants,
no matter how hard he works. He's someone who's been
good at almost everything he's ever done. I've tried PEP talks,
offered to help in any way with tactical training support.
I've tried just listening and empathizing, but it's getting old.
I think he's a bit delusional. We're competing against guys

(03:18):
who are much younger, twenty to thirty years younger, and
he keeps injuring himself with overtraining and ignoring the advice
of literally everyone, including his idols. It's exhausting, and I'm
tired of trying to manage his moodiness flashes of anger
and trying to offer support. Reddit lay it on me.
How would you characterize or interpret his behavior? Am I

(03:38):
promoting it by violating his boundary? Is that even a boundary?
It feels like a rule? What would you do if
you were me? And there are some releman comments, but
what would you do if you were op Ah?

Speaker 5 (03:50):
Like it's hard because I would want to just try
to talk to him and be like, hey, so it's
really difficult for me, Like I don't want to cross
your boundaries. But it's difficult when like this is how
people talk about this. Yeah, but it seems like he's
so like unresponsive to any sort of conversation, Like he
just shuts down any sort of conversation about the boundaries.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Oh yeah, yeah, I think you have that conversation, you say,
I don't really appreciate how you've been talking to me
about this, And honestly, I feel like you guys, I mean,
if you can't communicate and play this game in a
respectful way, I don't know if you guys can play
together anymore.

Speaker 4 (04:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
Maybe. I mean like it's I feel like you guys
are on a route right now that will end in
your relationship ending because he's not listening to you. He's
been kind of rude. Yeah, and I feel like, if
you want to protect your relationship, I don't know if
you guys can play together. Yeah. Maybe relevant comments Taylor

(04:49):
five says childish. He should be supportive and encouraging and
happy he has found a partner he can play a
sport with a common interest is awesome. I don't want
to know what sport, just to see if he's being
extra childish or not not throwing a temper tantrum like
a year old that lost a race at school. Opie says.
It's scored on both points accuracy and speed. He pitched

(05:11):
temper tantrums at two matches last year. He did apologize
profusely for those, and I told him if he ever
does that again we are done so, Dan says, evidence
based thinking clears this up fast. It teaches us not
to guess at motives, not to justify bad behavior, and
not to argue over labels like boundary or rule. We

(05:31):
focus on patterns. We watch what people do, not what
they say. Here's what he does. He shuts you down
when you try to celebrate or grow. He explodes at you,
forgets and refuses to talk it through. He threatens to
exclude you from the community he helped you enter. He
disappears when he is upset and returns like nothing happened.

(05:52):
Ebt would teach you this. Those are not signs of
someone protecting a boundary. Those are signs of someone protecting control.
A boundary what you set for yourself to say calm
and safe. A rule is what you force on someone
else to say in power. You're not violating a boundary,
You're violating the story. He wants to live in, one
where he's the mentor, the center, the champion you growth.

(06:16):
Your growth threatens that story, so he punishes you for it.
If this is what it looks like when you're winning,
what will it look like when you're losing. Let the
evidence lead the way Opie says, OMG, thank you so much.
I really needed to hear that. He does talk about
my successes a lot to others. He likes the association
of being there to watch mouthsaying open. He says and

(06:37):
does a lot of encouraging, supportive things, but he definitely
has to exert control. He'll invite me to train with
him at a very nice range, but he insists we
train his way, and Loki snipes at me if I
want to do something different. He tells me I'm training wrong.
He'll invite others at the last minute and then be mad.
I'm refrustrated at driving hours round trips to get in

(07:00):
very little training time. He also lied to me about
wanting to train alone one weekend when he was actually
going out of state to train with some really cool people.
I did place higher than him at a very big
event last year, but we were both injured and neither
of us performed well. I didn't tell him the results.
Someone else did, and it put him in such a
bad move. He spent the next day correcting my behavior

(07:22):
in such weird ways, like I was an incompetent child.
He did not like it when I called him out
I mean, like, what's this sounds like a bad relationship.

Speaker 5 (07:32):
It sounds like he just has these personal issues that
he needs to work on.

Speaker 3 (07:36):
Yeah, and like I don't know.

Speaker 5 (07:38):
I mean I if Obi really wants to put an
effort to make this work, maybe maybe she can talk
to him and be like, hey, like, we I joined
this because it looked like you had a lot of fun,
but it doesn't seem like you're having fun with it anymore?

Speaker 3 (07:49):
Like, yeah, how can I help you have.

Speaker 5 (07:52):
More fun with it without just like ignoring what's happening?

Speaker 4 (07:55):
You know?

Speaker 3 (07:55):
Yeah, I think you say, hey, can't talk to me
like that?

Speaker 4 (07:59):
Is that?

Speaker 3 (07:59):
Okay? I feel disrespected? Call it, yeah, call out his behavior,
which it seems like you've have been doing again. I really,
I really don't think that you guys, as of now,
can continue to play this game together and also be
in a relationship. Soak Dan again. Is support that disappears
the moment you grow stronger. Real support you asked earlier

(08:22):
if you were promoting this by violating his boundary. In
my opinion, no, have you ever sat him down calmly
and asked him straight up, why do you get so
upset when I improve or bring up numbers, because if
you have not, that is the next step before making
a final call, not to fix him, but to gather
one last piece of evidence about whether he can even
have that conversation without deflecting, attacking, or stonewalling. Yeah, if

(08:47):
he cannot have it, you already know the answer. If
he can have it but blames you again, you already
know the answer. Hope, he says, thank you. I have
asked him about the over the top reaction to the numbers.
He says he doesn't understand them. He's not good at map.
His idols will tell him to work on something and
tell him why the numbers they are tracking for him.
He is grateful to them and doesn't blow up them.

(09:08):
He'd get blackballed if he did. But he insists, I'm
violating his boundary, this absolute prohibition against talking about any
of the numbers. He almost always deflects, attacks and stone walls.
When I try to broach topic with him, he twists
it all around. He insists, I tell him when something
is bothering me, but when I do, he tells me

(09:28):
I'm wrong. I rarely bring up anything. It's too exhausting
to go round and round around on the straw man,
he throws out. So Dan says, in your opinion, what
will the next eighteen months look like? And are you
willing to endure them? Ope, he says, good question. You've
really helped me unpack how damaging the behavior patterns are.
Obviously I didn't share the long list of positive behavior,

(09:49):
but I'm not sure that list actually matters. He has
previously expressed a very high desire to remain friends no
matter what I think. If I break up with him, however,
he will exclude me and malign me in subtle ways
from the community. I've seen him try to squeeze out
other people. I'm starting to think that maybe it would
be good if he just keeps stonewalling me. I've already

(10:10):
cried most of the tears. If he doesn't reach out,
it seems pointless to even try to have a breakup conversation.
As the hours tick by, the silence is deafening. But
We've been here before, and he SLINKs back after a
few days, and each time I'm more wary, less open,
less engaged, less enthusiastic. He's unaliving the relationship one outburst

(10:33):
at a time. If he does reach out, if the
cycle holds that I need a response. I don't think
he'll apologize or acknowledge the damage that stonewalling me does.
He will feel justified since I violated his boundary. M
Bosu says, eighteen months together, you're closing in on him.
He stonewalls you and refuses to celebrate your wins even
when he does perform. Well, girl, leave him literally in

(10:56):
the dust behind you. You did the work for the
social clubs and community. You're clearly a supportive person. The
community you built will still be there. Heck, he will
too at the events, but you're the one with friends.
And even if this wasn't a shared sport, would he
celebrate your success elsewhere? Would you give up the sport
so he can have it? Would you be willing to
agree to not talk about the sport at all to

(11:17):
keep the relationship? Edit? Ad Not discussing numbers can definitely
be a valid boundary, But in that case, he shouldn't
be discussing the results at all or complaining about them
without the preface that he isn't looking for a solution,
just a place to vent. Opie says, thank you. He
really does pretend that he's excited for my successes, but
I'm starting to think he knows that it would reflect

(11:40):
badly on him if he didn't. It's feeling more like
a social manipulation than actual joy for me. I'm not
going to give up the sports. I think he will
probably quit in frustration, and to be honest, I've lost
so much respect for him for how he handles his frustration.
It is so immature. I'm not willing to give up
the sport to text the relationship we've both been all

(12:02):
in for eighteen months, and other than his childishness about it,
I'm thoroughly enjoying it. He also said that people who
talk about their work are boring. I've been swamped at
work recently, but I will talk about it for maybe
ten minutes over several hours of other conversation. Yeah, it's
time to cut him loose. Oh, there we go. She's
leaving him. Good, good, good Mob Sue says, you'll be

(12:24):
happier and you'll probably see a significant growth in your
skills without him bogging you down. Sounds like any topic
that isn't led and controlled by him is boring to him,
So simply let him know you don't want him bored
any longer. Ope says yes, the boring comments are so mean.
He pretends he's joking, but he's not. He has asserted
that if a story isn't entertaining to him, he doesn't

(12:47):
want to hear it. Illustrious Sleep says he sounds like
a child who doesn't handle it well when others get
better than him in less time. It's like he's pouting.
Because he's the one who introduced you to the sport.
You're doing much better than he expected. Maybe he feels
threatened by that because it sounds like he's already hard
on himself. I don't like that he's dismissive of your

(13:07):
accomplishments and getting mad about things that aren't even worth
getting mad about. This is the total opposite of the
first year you described his boundary of not being able
to say literally any numbers when it comes to this sport.
He's unreasonable and feels like a tactic to control what
you say and give him an excuse to blow up
if you violate it. I also don't like how he

(13:28):
just pops back up at his convenience, acting like nothing happened.
No apology, no acknowledgment of your text or that he
may have hurt you. Or even that the last interaction
was a negative one. As a middle aged woman myself,
ain't nobody got time for that kind of immature bs.
I'd want a partner who is supportive and communicative at
the very least, even if he's not happy with his

(13:51):
own performance, he should be willing to put that aside
to support and celebrate someone he cares about. Hope he
says thank you. I've been wondering if he's looking for
reasons to blow up at me, and that's what it
feels like. Oh yeah, it feels like literally every time
you try and talk to him, he's like, oh I
hate you.

Speaker 5 (14:09):
Yeah, which is so frustrating to be a part of
because it's so unpredictable because like, for you, you're just
you're just talking about the sports that you like, and
part of that and part of like knowing how to
improve is looking at your numbers and things like that.
And then he's just blowing up at you because he
doesn't he can't understand his own emotions and how to
deal with them, so he's just blaming everyone else for it,

(14:31):
and you're the closest one.

Speaker 3 (14:32):
Yeah, And even when you didn't tell him, when someone
else told him about your numbers.

Speaker 5 (14:36):
He got mad at you. Yeah, yeah, that's that's ridiculous. Yeah,
so you planted them. He's too old to be this immature.

Speaker 3 (14:45):
Immature. Yeah, it's not attractive exactly. I feel completely blindsided
by some of his reactions to what seem like normal
interactions and requests. I'm getting jumpy and wary. And there
is an update. A week after the first post, a
week of the silent treatment, he started reaching out a
short text, a link to an informational article that was

(15:06):
actually helpful. Little things like that. I gave General Sash
neutral responses, but otherwise didn't engage. On day ten of
this round of silent treatment, he called to say he
thought he had a heart attack and spent a few
days in the hospital. But I know for certain he
hosted an event he excluded me from on day four
and participated in two sporting competitions that same weekend. I

(15:29):
gave him a little grace because he does have a
never ending string of health problems of his own doing.
But in the back of my head I just kept thinking, liar, liar,
pants on fire. He turned back on all the charm,
constant attention arranging, really fun dates. The works. For a
few weeks, it seemed like we were in a really
good place again. But a few weeks later, boom, he

(15:52):
blew up again at me in a parking lot when
he was frustrated that he read an email from someone
else wrong and drove away in a huff. And now
he's gone silent for another week. Break up see break up.

Speaker 5 (16:03):
These are literally like textbook signs of a like manipulator,
self absorbed person.

Speaker 3 (16:10):
Like you literally did nothing wrong. Yeah, and he is
throwing a temper tantrum because someone emailed him I don't.

Speaker 5 (16:18):
Even know, Like after he goes to comes back and
starts love bombing you to get you to stay, and
then again unpredictable, he just like blows.

Speaker 3 (16:26):
Up, which is so stressful for someone to do it. Yeah,
don't deal with it, don't deal with it, leave him bye.

Speaker 4 (16:32):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (16:32):
So yeah, I'm not falling for that again. I joined
a different sports club two hours from where he lives,
with only a little overlap in the membership between the clubs.
Filled my social calendar, hit the gym. Thanks Reddit for
the reality check. So what advice do I need now?
I sure could use some help with phrases. I could
use when we run into each other in the future.

(16:52):
I'm pretty certain he'll approach me at upcoming sporting events
and we'll run into each other at social events. There
is a little bit left to his story. Do you
have any final lots? Wondering what she could say to him,
I think she goes. I think you talk all about
numbers every time you see him. You're like, oh, I
scored this, Yeah, what do you score? Did really well?

Speaker 5 (17:13):
I sup I heard that, Like someone did lower than me,
got these numbers. Yeah, yeah, so nice that OP can
have just.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
Like a little you know, petty Yeah, this is yours,
this is your sports nemesis. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (17:29):
Well, I'm just thinking, like, like, you can have some satisfaction,
some petty satisfaction that you are better than him, and
this is Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
You can do some crap talking. You know, it's good,
But there is a little bit left to this story.
I also need some phrases for the folks that can
keep asking what happened, where he's been lately, et cetera.
They're very persistent. I don't want to mine or disparage him,
but I do expect him to subtly manipulate people against me.
I've seen him push out or subtly blackball others. But

(17:57):
he's so darned charming and good looking. It gets away
with an absurd amount of unnice behavior, like everyone is
under his spell. War realm in comments, Anna musadem Bell. Okay, remember,
do not engage with him emotionally. This is the type
of small, petty personality that lives to control or get

(18:18):
a rise out of people who he cannot control. And
you can bet he will be doing whatever he can
to get under your skin. But you're clearly smart and
prepared and you'll lock in when the moment comes. I
hope he says you nailed it. As my head clears,
I can see so many petty ways he exerts control
over others, so many petty ways. Ugh, and folks, that's

(18:39):
that's the end of that story. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (18:43):
I feel like with someone like that, it sucks that
they are so dank charming.

Speaker 3 (18:47):
Yeah, so dang charm.

Speaker 5 (18:49):
All you can do is just focus on yourself. Yeah,
focus on you know, hopefully your relationships with others don't
get you know, skewed by this, but focus on your
craft and your sport.

Speaker 3 (18:59):
Yeah, folks, because on getting better. I asked my boyfriend
to get a job. He got offended. I don't want
a job.

Speaker 5 (19:07):
I'm currently living with my boyfriend and his dad in
his dad's apartment. Long story shore, I had my own apartment.
Some coworkers convinced me to move into their house and
split rent with my when my lease ended. Then all
of a sudden, they're selling the house and I have
to s get at all fun. By the way, this
comes from something about a plant. And if you want
to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
Okay storytime Sepreddit. So my boyfriend and his dad are

(19:29):
majorly helping me out by letting me stay here, and.

Speaker 3 (19:32):
I appreciate every bit of it.

Speaker 5 (19:34):
It's only temporary, less than ninety days, and just enough
to let me save up for a few months of
rent and a deposit. Anyway, I'm planning everything and looking
at places and trying to do math, and it's a
little bit stressful because it's just going to be the
two of us surviving on my single income. Oh wow,
I du all right for myself twenty five to thirty
thousand flat rate and usually closer to thirty five to

(19:57):
forty thousand with raises. Some parts of my positions have
sales type bonus incentives that are performance based and not guaranteed.
My boyfriend has never worked and always lived with his
parents since high school. At the moment, he stays home
and smokes a large amount of Devil's lettuce, plays video games,
and looks at hen tie all day. I work full
time with nine hour days during the week, and I

(20:17):
also work six hours on Saturdays. He doesn't really clean
or anything, so I'll usually come home from work and
start dinner and clean some things before I join him
for a dungeon or two.

Speaker 3 (20:27):
In war Craft. This is like what like a cat
would do. Yeah, while you have a cat that plays
video games, dude, leave her eats your human food. What
does he do?

Speaker 4 (20:37):
Leave him?

Speaker 3 (20:38):
Yeah? Absolutely.

Speaker 5 (20:39):
Today I was really crunching some numbers at work and
send him a message asking if there was any way
that he'd consider working to contribute, Like if there's maybe
a part time job at a pet store because he
loves animals, or if I could pay to put him
through some college courses to help find.

Speaker 3 (20:54):
A career that he'd enjoy.

Speaker 5 (20:55):
He got pretty upset that I asked, and I tried
to assure him that I was sorry and just feeling
a little alone in all this. I then got a
few messages from him explaining that he's offended that I
asked him to get a job, but he knows they
didn't mean it as an insult, so he's sucking it up.
And then he proceeded to explain that he's not unemployed
because he's lazy. He's unemployed because he's totally opposed to
the concept on many levels. And he went on to

(21:18):
explain that he's not mad at me, though, he's like.

Speaker 3 (21:20):
No, I just want to live off the grid. Everyone's
about work, work, work, money, capitalism. Just I don't want
to live that way, and you coming here and saying
you need to work is offensive.

Speaker 5 (21:37):
It just goes against my in my internal and spiritual
beliefs to be locked down in a confined.

Speaker 3 (21:44):
Job all day to kill ry a king.

Speaker 5 (21:47):
He told me that he'd rather actually pass away than
be employed, and he said that it's due to how
much of your time it takes, how it's only necessary
to due to the status quo of capitalism, et cetera.
I kind of lost my cool and asked him, isn't
saying all of that kind of hypocritical when you're just
intending to live off of everyone else that does it,
and then he got pretty pissed. Anyway, I guess I

(22:08):
just realized that if I were anyone else reading this,
I have given into the what the ef for you?
Doing this is stupid idea by now. So if you've
made it this far, I appreciate it. All aspects of
the relationship are great except for this, but I guess
it's a pretty large portion, and it's pretty much me saying, man,
this house is fully furnished and the curtains are beautiful,
but the whole place is on fire, so that kind

(22:28):
of sucks.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
Yeah, exactly, great example, you have a pet. He doesn't
want to work, he doesn't believe in work.

Speaker 5 (22:38):
So I guess are there any suggestions for how to
make him see that this is going to end us?
Because I'm honestly feeling pretty selfish right now, and in
his head, I think I'm attacking him, and I don't
want to be sorry if this is disjointed, as heck,
it's been a long worked in there is an update.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
But I have a really really good solution for a
p Yeah breakup. Yeah, that that'll really show him that
this is going to be the end of us. I'm
sorry he needs a freaking wake up call. Yeah. If
if you do not want your life to be about work,
that's fine. There are some people who don't want to
like find a career and like really work super hard

(23:16):
on that career and you work their way up the
ladder and stuff. You don't have to do that. If
you just want to do like a work in a
restaurant all your life, get tips, quit when you want,
go on trave you know, that's fine. Yeah, this though,
this is your free loading off of your girlfriend. Absolutely
because it's so interesting because I don't know, maybe I'll

(23:37):
start to ramble, but I just have a lot of
thoughts on this because at one point I fell into
like I saw a lot of videos on TikTok and
I was like, yeah, we we aren't meant to work.

Speaker 5 (23:46):
This sucks that like we have to do this and
we have to like you know, go to school and
all this stuff.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
Like we're just meant to hang out have fun.

Speaker 5 (23:53):
But I honestly don't think that we are, Like biologically,
I don't think we are anymore.

Speaker 3 (23:58):
I mean it's I don't think that we were supposed
to work five days a week for eight hours on
you know, on computers per se. But we all we've
always worked.

Speaker 5 (24:10):
We've worked to get food exactly like that, you know,
That's how I think of it. It's like, it's like
if we were not working, if we were just like
on our own, it's like survival style.

Speaker 3 (24:21):
Aid doing so much more work.

Speaker 5 (24:23):
You were just you would spend all day looking for
food and looking for all this stuff. And now that
we have like grocery stores, we don't do that anymore.
So it's like we still, I think, are like meant
to be busy.

Speaker 3 (24:34):
Maybe not yeah, on a computer all day? Yeah, but yeah,
I mean I was definitely totally different type of work.
But anyway, there is an update.

Speaker 5 (24:42):
I brought up a lot of the points that you
guys brought up in the last thread, including how would
you feel if I stopped working? And I actually threw
out an ultimatum of if you had to choose between
getting a job and being with me, which would it be.
I wish I could tell you I took the calm, rational,
mature route and just walked out to a new life.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
I decided to have a tiny bit of fun instead.

Speaker 5 (25:02):
I've got a decent amount of money saved up since
his dad didn't charge me rent and.

Speaker 3 (25:06):
That was the entire purpose of me staying here.

Speaker 5 (25:08):
Lee's notes, I prefer to carry my own weight and
still contributed as far as preparing meals, buying food, and
buying drinks. I put my notice in at my previous
job without informing my boyfriend. Once the notice period was up,
I stayed home every day. Look at you wake up
in the morning and he says, don't you have work today?
And I'd be like, eh, I don't feel like it. Wait,

(25:29):
did she say that she had like a time off
or something that she could take. No, she's just she
has money saved up, so she's just like quitting her
job right now.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
I know this is commitment. Commitments A bit love that.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (25:42):
The first few days he was like, awesome, and we
sat around playing games. After the first week, he starts
getting a little anxious and he's like, so, what's up
with work? And I tell him, oh, you know, just
not feeling like it. After the second week, he says,
what's going on? And I tell him that I thought
that what he said.

Speaker 3 (26:00):
I really agree with him.

Speaker 5 (26:01):
Yes, I don't feel like working and contributing to the
machine either.

Speaker 3 (26:05):
So I'll just stay here with him, and he flipped out.

Speaker 5 (26:09):
He started telling me how irresponsible that is, how I
have to work, basically the entire diatribe. And I should
have been screaming at this kid the entire time we
were together.

Speaker 3 (26:19):
Except at me. Uh. Because I didn't go to work
for two weeks.

Speaker 5 (26:24):
I kind of figured that would happen, and I wanted
something drastic to point out to him that, as I
said before, he is a hypocrite.

Speaker 3 (26:31):
Because he is.

Speaker 5 (26:33):
I have to admit that a small part of me
was kind of hoping that this would be a revelation
to him and helping him change.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
But no, he just couldn't fathom how I.

Speaker 5 (26:40):
Could possibly do something so ridiculous and blah blah blah. Anyway,
what I actually did after leaving my job was find
a part time job and go down to the local
community college to pull the trigger on something I've wanted
to do for a couple of years now, enroll in
a welding program.

Speaker 3 (26:56):
I also found a.

Speaker 5 (26:56):
Roommate in the area who's cool with my animals, and
that way I can split my bills and not be
strapped for cash. Plus, I sometimes drive for Uber and
this is an okay market with a decent bar scene
on the weekend, so if I need a little extra,
there's that. So I've moved out and moved on, and
you know, I'm not even that sad because I got
closure of that whole event. I'm also pursuing the cliche

(27:17):
of hitting the gym more slash at all and hoping
to lose a little weight, though I did just lose
one to eighty useless pounds, so maybe that's enough for now.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
Nice.

Speaker 5 (27:28):
Anyway, I know I didn't go about it in the
right way, but I thought that if any of you
were curious to know, here's how it went. Thanks Reddit,
and there isn't edit. Sweet Jesus, this exploded and you
are all very kind and amazing. Lots of people pming
me and commenting about his actual reaction, But to be honest,
I feel like I'd have to be a trained.

Speaker 3 (27:47):
Therapist to even figure it out.

Speaker 5 (27:48):
There is a little bit more into the story, but
uh yeah, I'm so glad. I really hope that what
she does is just like he's like yelling all this
stuff and she just goes to like bedroom wistling that
grabs a mirror and just let places it right in
front of him.

Speaker 3 (28:01):
That's you keep going, keep going, you're looking at the
man in the mirror. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (28:06):
Exactly after he flipped out of me, I pointed out
that it really was just say what's good for the
goose scenario. He got kind of quiet and said that
I was being mean. I told him that it had
become pretty obvious that trying to talk to him about
everything wasn't doing me much good, so I had decided
to actively show him. He told me that it doesn't
change anything about the way he feels about not working.

(28:29):
I told him that he's got to find some way
to contribute or I walk. He told me that it
would be my decision. So it was basically to this day.
He still believes that he's right, or at the very least,
he hasn't done anything wrong. There's some sort of disconnect
in his brain where he can't connect the part of
him that loves me and wants to take care of
me with the part of him that doesn't want to
work and wants to live off his parents forever.

Speaker 3 (28:50):
He's got to have pretty parents. Yeah, and that is
the end of that story. Well, Okay, this man is rich,
doesn't want to work, and thinks that he thinks that
he can put that mindset on everyone. Yeah, I'm glad.
I hope that you got closure for this.

Speaker 5 (29:06):
Sometimes with these people, I feel like that wouldn't even
be closure enough for me because I'd still be just
so enraged that that.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
Isn't even no. It's like the type of mindset of
like someone's in a bad living space and the rich
person's like, just sit it out.

Speaker 4 (29:19):
Sam.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
Here, we're gonna get back to the stories. But here's
three of it's bads from our sponsors. My girlfriend and
I are working on our relationship, but my parents demand
we split up. Demand you not, demand you not take
get demand and shove it up. You're In December twenty
twenty three, my girlfriend twenty one female, and I twenty
one male, had been together at the time two years.

(29:41):
My family was hosting my dad's side for Christmas and
she was invited. However, we had my mom's side Christmas
right after this, and my girlfriend was not invited to
that one. My mom's side is just very private with
the family, and that's just always how it's been. By
the way, this comes from Big Yoshi five forty two.
If you want some of your own stories. Go to
the r slash Okay storytime Stell reread it. So what

(30:03):
happened is my dad's side stayed later than we all anticipated,
and when they left, we had to get ready to
leave pretty quick. We couldn't just shoot them out at
a certain time because that would be rude. Anyways, my
girlfriend had a more private Christmas gift for my mom
because she wanted to show her respect and admiration for
her because she didn't have a mom because she passed.

Speaker 4 (30:23):
Away when she was young. Oh that is so sweet.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
But that didn't happen because my mom was in go
go go mode, and I essentially had to punt out
my girlfriend, which kind of sucks. She was blocking my
car and so she had to leave so I could leave.
So she does and we didn't hug her anything.

Speaker 4 (30:42):
She just left.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
She was upset and stressed and I was too. She
left but ended up having a panic attack and called me.
I calmed her down as best I could, and then
went to the Christmas after my mom could tell I
was upset, and I told her she blew up. You
saw her actions as attention sy thinking and disrespectful to
do in her own home. She should have been gracious

(31:05):
she was invited and just left and thought my girlfriend
was fishing for an invite through the Christmas because like,
basically they wanted an only family Christmas. And so when
the girlfriend was rushed out, the mom's like, Oh, she's
just faking a panic attack so she could hang out
some more.

Speaker 4 (31:22):
She just wants to.

Speaker 3 (31:22):
Give you a gift because she doesn't have a mama.

Speaker 1 (31:25):
This was the worst moment I had ever seen my girlfriend,
and partly because she was so upset, but also because
she had just suffered a severe ankle injury and she's
still recovering from that. Curly at this point, my parents
told me I needed to break up with her. Oh
oh yeah, for what happened. I refuse and we stayed together,

(31:45):
but she was not allowed at the house and has
not seen my family and talked to them since goodness.
That was the initial problem that started this whole mess.
We would go out on dates and hang out at school.
We went to the same community college some throughout the situation,
trying to make it work, but every time I went
home and something made out of been perfect, they blew
up on me. Every time I tried to help it,

(32:07):
they said they did not want to talk to her,
so I told my girlfriend not too, because I was
afraid it would make it worse. Eventually, May came and
we were set to graduate from community college. On graduation day,
I myself had some sort of anxiety attack because I
was stressed with my girlfriend being there and my family
being there and trying to keep them apart did not
cause drama, and I was giving a speech I was

(32:28):
nervous for it. All went fine, though, but oh my god,
this family is crazy.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
They literally suck, like literally here she is like so sweet,
like I want to give her a present because like,
you know, I don't I don't have a mom. And
then she's like, get out of your gods gud, like
are you a human?

Speaker 4 (32:48):
Yeah? Hello, it is.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
It's crazy that this is sparked by someone, this this
girlfriend that just wanted to have a good relationship with
who she saw as a mother figure, and that mother
is casting her out because she had a misplaced panic attack,
you know.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
Like so so whack.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
And all went fine them and then we spent the
summer on a few dates and stuff, and my parents
still very much disapproved, and then it got ugly. Basically,
little things would happen like I feel like they do
in relationships, and they would say how awful she is.
They would not budge at all that anything they said
or claimed was wrong or maybe not one hundred percent correct.
And then my girlfriend and I were transferring to different

(33:34):
four year universities and prepared to do long distance two
and a half hours away, but my parents made it
clear they did not want me to go to her
and her to go to me. So I respected their request.
What during my first semester, I did not drive to her.
I ended up rushing a fraternity as a junior, and
she came to my semi formal but that was it.
I saw her for my birthday in October back at home,

(33:55):
and the semi formerle in November, but that was it.
Also at this point, we've been together three and a
half years. Oh, so I feel like the parents are
kind of winning. During Christmas time in twenty twenty four,
it was the same old, same old. My parents wanted
me to end things with her. I would not give
at all and made it a whole thing. When I
wanted to go see here for Christmas and her birthday

(34:16):
it's in December. I remember the comment, oh, you're still together?
And you're still doing that.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
God.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
And at this point my mom made comments about me
putting a ring on her finger and if I am
prepared to tear up the family over this. I thought
she was about to turn a new leaf. I'm like, oh,
she wants him.

Speaker 4 (34:34):
To marry her. Yeah, And I was like, no, no, no,
if you marry her, this family is done.

Speaker 2 (34:39):
So you're really going to do this, Pa, You're really
going to do that?

Speaker 4 (34:42):
He this is ridiculous. Why are you letting your parents win?

Speaker 1 (34:45):
Also, like you probably should put boundaries in distance yourselves
from this kind of family dynamic.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
Yeah, I'm worried, Like I don't know if this is
what it is, but he's twenty one and he's probably
still so like, okay, I'm under the parents or whatever
that he's just like, oh, well, I have to like
obey my parents. Basically, Yeah, this isn't freaking high school, dude.
This is you're you're a big boy now and it's
okay and your parents are not on the right. You

(35:14):
have every reason to Your girlfriend was trying to do
a sweet thing.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
Yeah, goh, ridiculous, ridiculous. Well, over the semester, my mom
had made comments and things about me being away, and
I know it was hard on her and there was
a constant poll to go home, it felt like. However,
home is only an hour away from my university, so doable.
We called almost every day and checked in and still
wemaining close. Okay, so they're still talking, but again, the

(35:40):
transition to moving out in a way was tough. But
coming home from winter break opened up the girlfriend's situation
again and I couldn't handle it. I just wanted to
break from her, from my family, from all of it.
Looking back on it, maybe it was uncalled for for
some context. At this point, my parents looked at my
phone call records between me and or her What the helly?
And had me read my text between me and her

(36:02):
in the past.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
What soon? Okay, mom, Mom's I'm as soon. That is diabolical, Mom,
I'm taking to court.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
So I did not see her for Christmas, her birthday,
or New Year's and I know it hurt her, but
she sucked it up and took it because she knew
I needed this. We texted minimally and did not call.
When I got back to campus, I started talking to
her again slowly and kind of got back, but I
was so busy and still unhappy. There was a lot
with classes and fraternity things, plus extracurriculars, so I did
not have a lot of time to call and text,

(36:32):
and I pulled away from her. She also made some
bad choices for our relationship by going to other people
instead of me and hiding her feelings and not communicating. Eventually,
she did a few things that upset me, and I snapped, Oh, no,
it sounds like that sounds like cheating.

Speaker 2 (36:48):
Yeah, I guess, I guess.

Speaker 4 (36:51):
So that sounds a little cheaty to me. Yeah, a
little cheaty to me.

Speaker 1 (36:55):
But this is such a hard relationship to make work. Yeah,
Like I'm not a her of any you know, stuff
that she did.

Speaker 4 (37:03):
But I feel like.

Speaker 2 (37:05):
He's like, oh, I just basically didn't see her for
a year. She knew she had to suck it up,
and it's like, no, she didn't.

Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah, I mean, it's like it's just you're I feel
like he's not making the right choices to nurture the
relationship into a healthy space. And what she should have
done is she should have probably ended things with him
instead of you know, seeking out other people.

Speaker 4 (37:25):
But like, this is not fertile ground. It's for a
good relationship.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
I can't grow nothing on this.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
After I did, I initially felt fine, but I had
this nagging feeling that wouldn't go away. It was so sad,
and I really missed her. I feel like, looking back,
I made a mistake and I gave up too quickly.
I feel like I cracked into the pressure of everything
and broke up with her because everyone wanted me to
sew Ope did break up. After talking with my roommate,
I texted her if my girlfriend had time to talk

(37:54):
after about three weeks.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
Still he still has to wait three weeks. He's like, yeah,
like I'm seeing my mom and like doing all this stuff,
So yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
Just to talk about our hurt and try to feel better.
It was an amazing conversation, and we both realized what
we went wrong. We miss each other and we still
love each other. We both want to try again.

Speaker 4 (38:12):
I don't know. I feel like these both of them
are not mature.

Speaker 3 (38:16):
Call it.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
The few people I'd talked to you were apprehensive but
supportive of it.

Speaker 4 (38:20):
My parents were not.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
My mom knew I was upset when I called her
one night and pushed me hard to tell her. So
I told her my girlfriend and I had talked and
considered getting back together. She did not take it well.
She was more upset than mad. I went home that
weekend and talked to my parents for about three hours
about it, and they would not budget all. Your parents
are way too involved in this relationship. They think I

(38:43):
should stay broken up. This is a mistake to go back.
She doesn't care about me. She's manipulating me, and not
one good thing about her and not one bad thing
they have done. I would feel differently if they admitted
some fault or backed up some, but they will not.
I told them I want to go back to campus
and talk to my fraternity brothers before I decide. Then
they got upset because I act like I care more

(39:04):
about Stranger's opinions others. I care more about stange his
opinions than theirs. I went back, like I said, apprehensive
but supportive. This guy doesn't have good role models.

Speaker 2 (39:20):
That is so correct. Oh my goodness.

Speaker 1 (39:23):
I called my parents to definitely tell them this was happening,
but they got really mad and flipped on me. They
respectfully requested that I not do this. It's either her
or them, so weird, and I am choosing her as
what they believe. I hate being put in an ultimatum decision,
and I feel like that's where I'm at. It is

(39:43):
not about picking one or another the other. I just
want to be happy. They said a lot of hurtful
things and would not listen to me when I would speak.
They said they would no longer support this financially, and
initially I thought it would make me pay for my
own phone plan and things was fine, so during this
time I paid for those things. I spent the spring
pretty happy. Honestly. I was with the girl I love
and had a great group of friends around me, my

(40:04):
frat bros. I came home for summer and things were
pretty good for the most part until I wanted to
go see my girlfriend. It was a whole ordeal and
my parents will not allow her in my vehicle at
all to go places. This is ridiculous. This is There
are helicopter moms and then there's this. My mom was

(40:24):
a helicopter mom. She never did this.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
No, Like, I mean, think about the ludicrous decision of
going to your kid and being again for a girl
who was trying to give them a present, Like basically,
for all we know, has done negative one hundred percent
anything wrong, and they're like, hey, it's either you're with
your like college girlfriend or you lose us as parents.

Speaker 4 (40:49):
That's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
Wow, that's that is all I can say. Wow, congratulations,
you've made the worst parenting decision ever. You did it
you bravo, bravo.

Speaker 1 (41:03):
Yeah, they'll ask about her and be like, how's her
summer classes and work going. And I'm trying to be
a little more open because I became very close off
and wouldn't talk about her anymore. So I was confused
when it blew it up and they wanted to see her.
Now they want to see her. And also they haven't
been taking the money out of my phone plan and
those few expenses while I've been home for the summer,

(41:24):
and when I talked about it, they said they were
going to stop. So when I was talking to my
dad and he was like, and I figured we'd do
that again, I was like, Okay, then there's another relevant updates.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (41:35):
But man, it just feels.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
Like these parents are so ridiculously involved to an insane degree,
and OP needs to I think. I mean, you're old enough, OP,
like grow some some go honess and and rule your
own life. Well, finish up this story, and you're I've

(42:02):
worked all summer to have enough money to pay for
school and enjoy my last full year as an undergraduates
doing it. But if they're going to take money out,
then that's all I'm going to be worried about. I'm
just kind of lost at the moment and super frustrated
because I can't even have an honest conversation without it
becoming a big deal and everyone getting upset, and I.

Speaker 4 (42:18):
Just have to take it on the chin, so to speak.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
I love my girlfriend and I don't want to end
things at all, but this is just a lot on
the familiar side of things. All advice is appreciated. It's
just a complicated situation that I'm trying my absolute best
in and that here's.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
The end of that story. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
Whole whole cast of characters in that one.

Speaker 4 (42:42):
The whole cast of characters.

Speaker 1 (42:43):
I mean, I think, oh, I think you gotta, you
gotta Maybe I don't know of no contact, but I
definitely think you gotta go low contact.

Speaker 2 (42:51):
Yeah, with this person, something too, with the parents. Something
to send the message, because I think it will take
a lot for the to get through there. Oh, like
monster parents who brains.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah, Pata, says low contact. I'm I'm on board.

Speaker 2 (43:10):
I don't want my mom to bring her dogs on vacation.
Now she's upset.

Speaker 4 (43:13):
Get those dogs out of here.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
My mom has two half Yorky, half Malt. These dogs,
these dogs are my mom's world. The problem is they
are obsessed with food. They will go to any lengths
to get human food. It started with the bag of
barbecue potato chips on my kitchen counter, ripped open and devoured,
leaving a huge barbecue dust mess. By the way, this
comes from parking ratio one fifty five and if you
want to submit your own stories, go to the r

(43:36):
slash Okay storytime Cebreda. Next Time was an entire pizza
that was snatched off the table the moment I went
to grab sodas.

Speaker 4 (43:44):
From the kitchen, those dogs.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
In the span of less than a minute. When I returned,
half the pizza was gone. The dogs were standing in
the other half of the pizza, and there was pizza
sauce all over my carpets. Next get Together, they found
their way inside. Even though I asked my mom to
keep them in the backyard, they got into my kitchen
and tore open two bags of my hamburger buns and
ate about forty dollars worth of seasoned raw hamburger meat

(44:09):
and a block of cheddar cheese.

Speaker 4 (44:12):
Those dogs must be fatigue. Those are some chok or not?

Speaker 2 (44:17):
Holy.

Speaker 4 (44:18):
I also love other a team.

Speaker 1 (44:19):
It's like body and God like they're breaking it all
these like golly.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
So at this point I told my mother her dogs
were not allowed in my home.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
Yeah freaking grolling to the food demons.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
Just God. She has stopped coming by altogether, which does
hurt my feelings because if it's a choice between her
kid and the dogs, she will always pick the dogs.

Speaker 4 (44:47):
Wait her own child.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
Yes, who is op. I'm planning a family vacation, booked
a nice cabin for the whole family to stay in.
My sister is bringing her dog, well behaved family pit,
so I know it's going to be an issue, and
I tell my mom her dogs are not allowed to
come with us. I don't want to spend the whole
weekend making sure not a single scrap of food is
left out for even a second, otherwise her dogs will

(45:10):
tear it apart and potentially make a huge mess in
the cabin that I paid the deposit on. My sister
told me to just tell my mom that she has
to keep a close eye on the dogs. But I've
tried that before and she has proven time and time
again that she's either unable or unwilling control her dog's behavior.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
I don't know, Like I feel like we kind of
got like a situation of a normal human person.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
And just like high iq dastardly dogs.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
That they are, they are like they are like the
Houdini of stealing food. Yeah, you know, he's seeking seeking bobs,
going directly to wherever there's some some hamburgers to gnob on.

Speaker 2 (45:52):
Yeah, would I mean the ahole if I tell my
mom her food crazed dogs are not allowed on family vacation,
even though another dog will be there. We have some
relevant comments, but let's quickly answer the question. Ah.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
I think these dogs have proven themselves to be absolute,
just like menaces. So I feel like, I don't know,
I feel like I would almost send a dog altimatum.
It's like, Hey, if you come to this thing and
these dogs eat my food, you cannot bring them anymore.
I feel like you kind of have to like set

(46:28):
the boundary in that way.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
Even for the good dog the innocent pup.

Speaker 1 (46:34):
Yeah even for the yeah, yeah, like for for all
dogs that but I like, but honestly, it's been it
happened so many times. I wouldn't fall op for being like,
your dogs have ruined every kind of dinner I've ever
tried to put together.

Speaker 2 (46:48):
Yeah they have.

Speaker 1 (46:49):
They have eaten full pizzas that are that are big
enough for four grown men, let alone two tiny, little
little shitsu dogs.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
Oh they were shing all right, dude, after.

Speaker 4 (47:04):
All that raw am me? Would you ban those dogs? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (47:11):
But I do think you brought up a good point
of like do you do you do you ban all
dogs to make it fair and equal. The problem is
it's her dogs that are the problem. Like, if we're
being real here, it's like, hey, I would love to
have your dogs in if they didn't suck every molecule
of food in a one mile radius that they have
access to, that would be awesome. But no, I can't.

(47:35):
I can't. But Opie has a comment. Opie says, my
mom has bragged that her dogs ate half a box
of chocolate covered cordial cherries and didn't get sick. I'm
worried she thinks that they can't get sick. Another comment
info create the dogs when food is in play. Question
Mark and Opie says mom will either have a temper

(47:57):
tantrum about her dogs being created, let them out, or
both come to Number three says not the a hole,
but just say no dogs to avoid hurt feelings. Is
that an option? Opie says.

Speaker 4 (48:07):
So.

Speaker 2 (48:07):
My sister's dog, Lola the beautiful Pity gets pretty horrible
separation anxiety. Last time my sister left her at a kennel,
she was banned from the establishment for her behavior problems
other than that she's a saint. I don't want her
to be punished because of my mom's dogs behavior. And
we have the updates.

Speaker 4 (48:25):
Maybe with the update Johnny.

Speaker 2 (48:26):
Let's go uh so packing up at the end of vacation,
A few of you asked me to update on what happened.
I don't know how to copy link, so I guess
click on my profile to.

Speaker 4 (48:36):
Read the old post.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
I don't know how right it works, y'all smart enough
to figure it out. Took the cowards way out and
asked my dad to break it to her that her
dogs weren't invited. He wasn't happy about it, but he
said he gets it. Then he told me some mildly
disturbing stuff that he was just laughing off, like what
like what like? They had a locked bread box for

(48:58):
pastries on the counter that had been chewed to pieces
in order to get to the sentin rolls inside. So
just to clarify la gentlemen, they purchased a locked like
bread box device to lock the pastries in safety. But
it was no, it did not stand.

Speaker 4 (49:19):
You know, it's screwed.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
I love these dogs. These dogs are crazy. These dogs
are psycho their psycho like it's like they're not being fed,
but you know they're being fed. On top of this,
a hundred these are these are lethal, intelligent, never like
like dogs with a never ending hunger.

Speaker 2 (49:41):
And showed me a picture of the bottom of their
fridge that had been extensively chewed like the dogs were
desperately biting and clawing to get inside. He stated he
loved the dogs too, but could understand why someone wouldn't
want them around during the vacation. Yeah yeah, yeah, say wow,

(50:03):
oh my god. Now, Dad reported Mom took it well
and the dogs would stay over at the neighbors who
they are good friends with.

Speaker 4 (50:10):
Okay, I was relieved as to it too quiet. I
don't believe it.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
Everyone showed up and started unpacking, set my mom, who
said my dad was tying things up at the house
and that she would be by later. Mom didn't show
up that night, and I missed her the next day.
Mom did show up, as many commenters suspected, brought.

Speaker 4 (50:29):
Her dogs with her.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
So try to play it off as nothing, giving out
hugs and smiles, but I was upset. I also tried
to play cool, but I told her that her dogs
were not to enter the cabin and they could not
stay the night. She waved me off. Yeah, yeah, okay,
I get it. It was fine for a few hours,
but then I noticed some dirty napkins were floating around
in the breeze. They sensed it, the little rags, you know,

(50:55):
the little remnants of their.

Speaker 4 (50:57):
Oh no, so they've already done something.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
Oh no, maybe I discovered that the garbage bag we
had tied to the picnic table had the bottom ripped
out and paper plates had been shredded and licked clean.

Speaker 6 (51:15):
Oh these dogs are great.

Speaker 2 (51:28):
I never this is this is? I mean, at this point,
we might have to like put them in some sort
of like a Stranger Thing Superhero lab and just study them.

Speaker 4 (51:39):
What are these likes the devils?

Speaker 1 (51:42):
I mean, like put some muzzles on these things or
something like them.

Speaker 2 (51:47):
They would they would that part, they would eat them.
They're like this is leather.

Speaker 4 (51:52):
Like all right?

Speaker 1 (51:53):
I think, yes, the mom needs a controller dogs. But
also these dogs, he's like uncontrollable. They ate through a
locked bread box. I don't know what that is, but
it sounds like it's hard to get through.

Speaker 2 (52:11):
They almost ate through a refrigerator.

Speaker 1 (52:15):
Just yeah, just a metal freaking refried. These dogs are
super dogs.

Speaker 2 (52:21):
Wow. So I cleaned up the mess furious and confronted
my mother and told her this is exactly why her
dogs weren't invited. My mom tried to blame my sister's
dog for the mess. You didn't see what happened. It
could have been her. I told her that there was
no way I would blame Lola for the mess, since
her dogs are known for doing this kind of thing.
My mom clanned up and just said fine, I would

(52:42):
just take them home and left with the dog. We
have a actually a pretty We've got a lot left
to go. This is a juicy ending, Okay, hit it.
My dad wasn't happy after that. Saying I didn't have
any proof and I went too hard on her. My
uncle thought it was funny, and he said he was
glad to not have those little beasters trying to steal

(53:03):
his hot dog. It just put a damper on the
whole trip. I just feel like an idiot for trying
to make this work in the first place. I missed
my mom and I wanted to make family memories. But
it really does feel like the dogs and my mom
are a package deal now, and asking her to leave them,
even for a short time, was never an option. A
lot of people said this in the comments. I don't
think I was ready to hear it yet. Thanks for

(53:25):
being so responsive, and the comments really did help me
see the reality of situation that I'm in.

Speaker 1 (53:29):
Ban those dogs. Those dogs are absolutely just like spawns
of Satan.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
Hey, y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get
back to the story. So but here's a quick three
minute break from as for more sponsors.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
My father traded my car to a dealership without my permission. Oh,
just trying to get a good deal. I thirty four female.
I have a twenty fourteen Ford Focus I got from
my dad when we bought him a new car. I
took his old car and gave my Toyota Corolla to
my brother so he would have a way to get around.
My family doesn't believe in leasing cars, as it holds

(54:05):
no value at the end of the day, so whenever
we get a new car, the old one is either
handed down or sold to help pay the new car.
By the way, this comes from Motormouth fifty six to
twenty on the Charlotte Debray YouTube Still wrote it, so
if you want to smit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay story Time Still wrote it, so,
my father is a kind hearted man that tends to
do things out of kindness without thinking them all the

(54:27):
way through. There have also been times where he's just
donated the old car to someone who really needs it.
For example, several years ago, my dad was a contractor
for a building project in the area and noticed one
of his workers who would walk seven miles to get
to work every day, so my father started driving him.

(54:47):
One day, he found out that the young man was
supporting three small kids, all under six, on a single
salary and couldn't afford a car. Being the sweet man
he is, he picked up the worker one day, but
instead of driving him to the job site, he went
with him the vehicle registration office and then signed the
car to his name as it was fully paid off.

Speaker 4 (55:08):
Dang wow, that is kind dude, that's amazing as a
kind hearted man.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
Freaking sweetheart.

Speaker 1 (55:15):
Now, before anyone goes thinking my forward was a gift,
think again. I do graphic design and photography for a
living and also manage my dad's business without getting paid.
As at the same time, my father was struggling financially
due to having to bail out my brother from trouble
and getting scammed by a digital advertising company the cut costs.
We decided I would take over the websites and advertisements

(55:36):
for free in exchange for a car. I already knew
I would get. That way, my father could feel like
he wasn't manipulating my time in business hours, and I
could make sure no one ripped him off ever again.
So here we come yesterday. I've been working for my
father without pay for around six years.

Speaker 4 (55:54):
Now, that's a while.

Speaker 2 (55:55):
Maybe he should take a little bit of that generosity
to his own children.

Speaker 1 (55:59):
Yeah, we have gotten to a point where my father
is more stable financially yesterday, my dad's car was in
the shop and he asked to take mine, as I
would be at home all day doing a photo shoot
or a client and working on his new website. Free
of charge of course. Oh but you're working too much
free of charge.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (56:17):
I warned him how the ace was not working. Summer
here is forty five degree fahrenheit minimum.

Speaker 2 (56:24):
Got to be celsius. That's cold.

Speaker 4 (56:27):
That's freaking cold. But celsius is a warm too hot.

Speaker 1 (56:32):
That's too hot, And that the radio didn't work due
to the heat pretty much frying the system and couldn't
be replaced since they don't make that pardon anymore. He
said it was fine and if he had time, he
would get it fixed for me. I thank Tim and
got back to work. After driving my car for two hours,
my father found it unbearable and called to tell me
I need a new car and that we should sell

(56:52):
the Ford or trade it in. I said fine, as
long as the new car had an automatic transmission. I'm
good with anything. Less than an hour, a car trading
company calls to inform me that my father wants to
trade in my automatic board of Focus to a Hyundai
with a trip tronic transmission. For those who don't know,
tripchronic transmission, cars have this crappy feature that if you

(57:15):
don't press on the brakes while you're in traffic uphill,
the car will start going down backwards. It was dangerous
in an area that most of the traffic is on
uphill road. Yeah, that sucks.

Speaker 4 (57:27):
What I told the man on the phone.

Speaker 1 (57:31):
I didn't want the car and to please hand the
phone to my father. I explained to him that I
don't want that car as it was not comfortable for
me to drive, and would prefer a Ford Focus with
no AC over a death trap that drives horribly and
can put me at risk. He tried to convince me
that I was overreacting and then I just need to
learn how to drive it. How about it's my car,
I can do what I want. I said no, thank

(57:51):
you and hung up. Today I am in my office
at the company I work for when my father calls
me up and tells me come downstairs as he needs
me to see something important. I leave my office and
go downstairs to see what my father needs. I'm sure
enough he's sitting in the car I didn't want, and
my Ford is nowhere to be found. I was beyond upset.

(58:12):
Why fix a problem that didn't need to be fixed
like this, you.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
Know, because we have to make it complicate. It cannot
be simple.

Speaker 4 (58:22):
This is ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (58:24):
I told him that I had just one request, that
it was automatic, just like the car I had, and
I didn't want the car that was before me.

Speaker 4 (58:31):
He tried to.

Speaker 1 (58:32):
Convince me that my car was old and this one
was brand new and better, but I wasn't having it.
My Forward Focus is a solid and strong minivan with
plenty of space, good horsepower, and might of great material
compared to the Hundai Trap the salesperson convinced him would
be better for me. I got in the car and
asked my father to drive me to the dealership asap

(58:53):
as I was extremely upset and needed to take the
anger out in someone. So when I got to the dealership,
I took the keys from my father and looked around
see who the salesperson was who convinced him that this
was a good idea. When the man walked up to us,
I handed him the keys and told him I want
my four back now. He tried to convince me I
was better off with this car and that I would
learn how to drive it.

Speaker 7 (59:14):
Here I lost sets uh oh and yell listen here
man and listen close ye little greaseball snake oil salesman
of a car, Taylor, you have.

Speaker 1 (59:28):
Thirty seconds to take this piece of crap you're trying
to push me and go get my car before I
call the police and say that you accepted a stolen
car in for trade. And am I Claire Crystal?

Speaker 2 (59:44):
My god?

Speaker 1 (59:45):
Then I turned to my dad, walked him outside a
moment and continued, what part of I want an automatic
transcision was so hard to understand, not.

Speaker 4 (59:55):
A manual, not a pronic and automatic?

Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
Why is it that my own father can't just listen
to what I asked instead of undermain and me Because
some idiot who knows nothing about cars is trying to
sell him a piece of ten file shaped like a car,
my dad, Opie is going scorged.

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
Earth well away with words, away with words.

Speaker 1 (01:00:20):
My dad tried to explain that the salesman was trying
to help and give him a good price, which made
me even angrier as the car was not worth half
of mine, yet they wanted me to add more money
to get the piece of crap car. I ignored my
dad and walked back into the dealership and asked to
speak to a manager. The manager, who ord heard everything already,

(01:00:42):
had my keys in his hand and asked to speak
to me in his office for a moment. I walked
into his office for The manager also tried to explain
to me that even if my car is worth more,
the dealership will only give me this amount, and that
I am getting a great deal and shouldn't walk away.
What do you think Opie's gonna do, John, I.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
Think we're gonna get the WI like. Honestly, I'm just
curious to see if Opie just calls the cops over in.

Speaker 4 (01:01:07):
This give me my car, give it to me.

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
Since I was getting sick of all the people trying
to convince me to take something I don't want, I
decided to teach them all a bit about cars.

Speaker 4 (01:01:20):
So I started comparing my FOD to the Hyundai in
every possible way.

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
Here we go from horsepower to reaction time, to the
type of metal the car is made, how sturdy it is.
At some point the manager realized he is talking to
someone who actually knows cars, and I'd worked on them before.
When I was done explaining the difference between cars, I
held out my hand and said, keys, please, keys, please, money,

(01:01:48):
please give me, please give it back. He reluctantly gave
me back my car, keys, and I walked outside furious,
as I was in the middle of my workday and
my boss was extremely upset that I was late meeting.
My dad called me about an hour ago, telling me
my behavior was not appropriate and that he was just
trying to help. My friend also said I was being
an a hole and I should have just taken the

(01:02:10):
newer car.

Speaker 4 (01:02:11):
But I didn't want it. Am I the a hole? John?

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
There's a little bit more of the story, But what
do you think is OP the a hole?

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
Definitely not for wanting to get her car back, because
she literally said, hey, I don't want this.

Speaker 4 (01:02:26):
This is I don't want it. I get it away
from me.

Speaker 8 (01:02:30):
I was specific, yeah, and uh, you know, yeah, I
think just overall not the OP was just letting him
know what time it was.

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
OPI is not the a hole by any means. But
we do have a little bit more of this story updates.
So this morning, I was supposed to have breakfast with
my father as we do every Tuesday morning to check
in on each other, but instead his girlfriend, Monica came
and told me my dad was busy closing it to
acknowledge my feelings about being upset with my father, and

(01:03:03):
then told me something I didn't know. Oh, my father
has dyslexia and hypothyroidism, which sometimes makes him forgetful. He explained,
my dad hasn't told me because he didn't want to
worry me. And then Monica showed me a bank account
in the name where my dad had been transferring money
every month for the past six years. Turns out, while

(01:03:24):
I thought I'd been working for free, my dad was
quietly saving me to buy a house one day without
needing a mortgage. I tear aw au, I teared up
when I realized what he'd done. He told me that
my father grew up for had to leave school to
support his mother and sisters, and promise himself I'd never
go through what he did. That made me realize how

(01:03:46):
much he tries to protect me, even as an adult.
I called my dad and apologized for how it acted.

Speaker 4 (01:03:53):
That's so cute.

Speaker 2 (01:03:55):
I have to say it.

Speaker 4 (01:03:56):
I have to say say it, John.

Speaker 2 (01:03:58):
Why hide the money for six years? Why not just
tell give the money or at least be like, hey,
I'm I'm setting aside to like buy you a house, I.

Speaker 4 (01:04:11):
Like, or why not just pay opie?

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
That that's what I'm like. It's such a weird.

Speaker 4 (01:04:19):
Yeah, it's it is sweet. No, you're you are right,
You are right, it is it is sweet.

Speaker 1 (01:04:24):
I feel like it's it's like I'm I mean, basically,
the father's like, I'm not going to pay you for
six years, but I'm secretly gonna pay you for six years,
and probably not as much as it would be worth
to actually pay you.

Speaker 2 (01:04:38):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
I'm thinking it's a little sus but I do like
the sentiment of like, oh, I don't wanna I don't
want you to have to go through the things that
I went through, so let me get you a house.

Speaker 2 (01:04:50):
Well, then pay me for six years.

Speaker 4 (01:04:55):
Am I am? I crazy? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
I I think it's a little heat tried, but he
missed the mark.

Speaker 4 (01:05:01):
Yeah, I think.

Speaker 1 (01:05:02):
I called my dad and apologized for how I acted.
He told me he needed to apologize too, because he
went to the dealership. He ran to my mother, who
I rarely speak to. She convinced him to get the
tip Pronic car, claiming it would be the best for me,
even after all these years, my dad still takes her
his opinion into account simply because she's my mother.

Speaker 4 (01:05:19):
There's another re elevant updates. But what do you think?

Speaker 2 (01:05:23):
Uh again, I think it's a little weird, but I
think it was, you know, nice for Opie to apologize,
and good for the dad to recognize, like, hey, I
you know, shouldn't have shouldn't have done that. Yeah, I
think we're coming to come in to common grounds, coming.

Speaker 4 (01:05:40):
To common grounds.

Speaker 1 (01:05:41):
You know, it is nice to know that he like
saved for Opie.

Speaker 2 (01:05:46):
I mean, he's trying, but we.

Speaker 4 (01:05:47):
Got a little bit more. So.

Speaker 1 (01:05:48):
I called my mom and she blamed my dad, saying
it wasn't her fault.

Speaker 4 (01:05:51):
He still listens to her.

Speaker 1 (01:05:52):
I hung up and asked Monica why she hadn't told
me sooner, and she said the only thing that would
break my dad's heart more than me being mad at him,
was me cutting off my mom completely, because he still
misses his own mother every day. I ended up crying,
and Monica comforted me like she used to when I
was a teen. He asked me not to tell my dad.
She showed me the account because it was meant to
be a surprise for my thirty fifth birthday later, I

(01:06:15):
met my dad at construction site, hugged him, and he
told me to get my car's AC fixed. He also said,
next time I want a new car, I can pick
it out and he'll pay for it, though I won't
let him. At the end of the day, I had
a right to be upset, but I realized I should
have asked for more details and seen where my dad
was coming from. Turns out we were both a bit
of the a hole and that's where that story ends.

Speaker 4 (01:06:38):
I mean, I guess it ended well.

Speaker 1 (01:06:40):
I still think a little bit of whack whacky whack
a doodleness, but hey, I mean, all is well, that
ends well.

Speaker 2 (01:06:49):
I think we can chalk it up to a nice
little as well. That ends well.

Speaker 4 (01:06:52):
Yeah, I think so, not too bad. I think so.
I like it

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My relationship is being STRAINED... because my boyfriend has poor sportsmanship! - r/BORUpdates | Reddit Stories