My sister-in-law DISRESPECTED my wedding request… she was asked to leave! - r/charlottedobreyoutube | Reddit Stories | EP2110 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is intergalactic John. This is Alien Sam on the
International Okay Storytime podcast station, and we have some human
stories coming up, not alien, but before we make a landing,
stick around for this two minute not alien ad break
before we get to these interstellar stories.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
My sister in law disrespect to my wedding request. She
was asked to leave. You need to leave before we
get into my wonderful wedding day. Here's some backstory. I'm
the second child and baby in my family. While this
has its perks at first, it quickly became the worst.
And by the way, this comes from you, Dash No
Tastes thirteen eighty. If you want to submit your own stories,

(00:39):
go to Roka Storytimes, so Breddit. So my older brother
less his heart is considered golden and untouchable. He was favored,
I'm assuming, because they only wanted boys, and because of it,
he got all he wanted. I was totally fine with
that because that meant I was able to grow and
be my own person today. Sure, but I'm a wonderful,
lovely aunt. I've never missed a debate tournament. That being said,

(01:02):
here comes a problem. My brother has been in a
relationship with Lauren twenty six female for almost sevenish years.
They have stated that they don't want a wedding or
even to really get married, as they love their dynamic now,
which is great for them, but for me, I've had
my dream wedding plan for years. I met my now
husband three years ago and we got engaged a year ago.
We had known when we were getting married for a while,

(01:24):
and I knew he was going to propose before he did.
We had made a separate savings account specifically for our
dream wedding because we knew when we would want it.
When I came out with my engagement, it was clear
my brother and his girlfriend weren't happy with the attention
I was getting from our media and extended family. I
wouldn't say his jealousy was obvious, but looking back, it
was clear he was mad I would be getting married first.

(01:46):
But they said they never wanted to get married.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
Why would you be jealous? Why are you making a problem?

Speaker 2 (01:54):
Fast forward to the day we announced our save the date.
Literally right after we sent them out, my brother finally.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
To Lauren oh H.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
While I was a little confused, I still offered them
congratulations and was overall happy for them to be taking
that step. Now, if you think they decided to get
married the same day, I'm happy to say, thankfully, no,
that would have been crazy. That would have been crazy.
They did not. They are waiting and hoping for the
perfect day to just arise. Shortly after, my brother came
to me and asked that I let Lauren be part

(02:24):
of my bridal party so she could see firsthand what
goes into being a bride. While I had some reservations,
I ultimately decided to let her become a bridesmaid to
try to bond. Horrible bad idea. She was a mess
to work with. When it came to days to meet
up for bridesmaid dress shopping, she suddenly became sick every

(02:45):
single time. It's a miracle that she's alive. With how
much she was sick. I didn't mind, but let her
know we needed to get her dressed soon. I wasn't
picky with what my bridesmaids wore as long as it
was not not black. I've always had this dream of
wearing a beautiful black wedding dress, so my wedding colors
wore anything.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
But black, very emo. I love it. I love it.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
My husband chose a beautiful red tooksito. So we decided
that our guest can wear whatever, as long as it
wasn't those two colors.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
The one time where you can actually wear white to.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
A wedding, you can wear Yeah, live your dreams.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
My future sister in law I hated that idea. It's
so funny that, yeah, it's just crazy. That's like not
it's literally the wedding.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
You don't have to do that.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
Every time it was brought up, she never failed to
mention how tacky and weird she thought it was.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
That is so rude.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Why in front of the future bride to be like,
your wedding decision is taki.

Speaker 4 (03:41):
I'd be like, oh, okay, well, I actually you don't
even have to be a part of the wedding.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
I didn't mind because it was my wedding, not hers.
I love my wedding dress and so did my husband,
but who cares. Besides making finding her dress difficult, she
also refused to participate in any of the activities. I
planned for the bridal party to thank them for a
grain to be my bridesmaid, my wonderful maid of honor,
and I planned a weekend get away for all of us.
We paid for the whole thing. They just needed to

(04:06):
show up. We rented a house near downtown of the
city we chose so we could bar hop and attend
a few events that were going on. Lauren made the
whole weekend awful. She complained that all the things we
planned were dumb and a waste of time. She called
my brother countless times to complain about how she hated
it and wanted to come home. Later found that that
whenever we went to go places and she refused to

(04:27):
she would call my brother and say we purposely left
her out, so now she's just lying. This resulted in
him going off on me for being mean to his fiance.
My maid of honor, Emmy, would stand up for me
and did her very best to find things that Lauren
would want to do. Why you like Lauren? Fast forward
again into two months before my wedding. Lauren comes to
me saying she found the perfect bride'smaid dress and needed

(04:50):
me to go ahead and buy it. Guys, tell me why.
She sent me the link to a black semi lace
dress that had a slit up the thigh. Now I
don't mind the slit, it was fine, but the color
I felt she was deliberately doing this to make me
feel bad. I messaged her saying, hey, did you want
me to select a color specifically or choose whichever I wanted?
Love the look though, to which she replied no, I

(05:12):
sent exactly what I wanted.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
This is so weird.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
I was upset at this, so I called my brother
and basically said, she either picks a different color or
I'll remove her from my bridle party because I want
my day to be perfect. Feelings, that seems very reasonable.
He said he had no clue what the big deal was,
and if she isn't wearing white, who cares?

Speaker 1 (05:32):
Mean? I care?

Speaker 2 (05:34):
It's my wedding.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
She's out.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
I repeated my previous choice. If she didn't pick a
different color, she would be removed. She chose to step down.
While I was bummed she didn't want to pick a
different color to participate. I don't think you were. I
didn't hang up on it too much and continued about
my life. Since the dress was out of their price point,
I wasn't worried about her getting it and wearing it anyways.
Boy was I wrong. The day my wedding is here.

(05:59):
The morning starts off wonderfuly. Everyone is happy until Lauren
walked into the bridal suite in a floor length black gown.
Security Security, Security, I don't know who that woman is.

Speaker 4 (06:14):
Security, Seary, get this woman out of my ballroom.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
I immediately started crying and was so disappointed this was happening.
Everyone around me was so confused and lost. My maid
of honor and aunt both asked her to leave and
change her outfit.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
Get over yourself.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
I managed to get myself together, because I'll be danged
if I little miss Lauren ruins my wedding to the
most wonderful man I know. Lauren says she didn't have
anything else to wear, and it wouldn't matter because she
won't stand out too much because again, she wasn't wearing white.
Mind you, many guests opposited for a white outfit to
make my blast dress pop even more, which was really

(06:50):
sweet to see. My husband's best man all wore white
suits as well, so yes, she would have definitely stood out.
My aunt wasn't having any of this, though, and told
Lauren to leave the menu and come back in a
different outfit. This made Lauren angry, and she said she
didn't want to attend the stupid event anyways. It wasn't
a real wedding if I wasn't wearing white. Then she left,
but not before storming out and making a scene, dragging

(07:11):
my brother with her. I was very sad he wouldn't
be there, but ultimately it was his own choice and
it is what it is. The rest of the wedding
went beautifully as I danced and partied until I literally dropped.
There are plenty of photos of my husband carrying me
to the car to capture the perfect night. Two days
after my wedding, I was bombarded with messages from Lauren
saying she was super hurt I let her leave and

(07:31):
that she would have never done that to me, that
I let her down, and she was sad that as
my sister of sorts, I didn't let her be happy
in the perfect dress. I didn't respond for a bit
because I didn't have the energy.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
Somehow that was the wrong choice.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
The messages became phone calls and voicemails about how I
ruined the night for her my brother by punting her
out and not letting her be involved. Then came the threats,
I won't be invited to ours or in my bridal
party either, since you hate me. I finally on it
with one message, Hi, Lauren, I'm sorry to hear your
so upset about not being at my wedding. That being said,

(08:05):
you have plenty of time to change your dress and return,
or even had time to pick a different dress before
showing up. You aware of the color scheme and my
one major request. I do not hate you or my brother,
and I want you guys to have a very happy wedding.
It hurts you might not want me there, but ultimately
it's all right. I wish you the best, but for
now I would rather not speak.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
That seems like just perfect, great, perfect, straightforward to facts. Yeah,
and the only lie is that you I'm mature.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
I hate her, No, but you don't play her mind
games play. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yeah, just clear cut. There we go. I never got
a response, but it's clear she read it because she
took to social media about bride Zilla's keeping family out
and how she was still so hurt. This gained some
pity comments, but mostly people saying they were on my side,
so the post was removed. My lovely husband advised me
to just block and be done and take a break,
So that's what I will be doing. However, my brother

(08:57):
called very sad he missed my big day and said
he wished things were different. Yeah, your sister does too.
That left me wondering if I was ale for just
not letting her attend and stay in the black dress.
I did miss having my brother there, but I can't
but feel she deliberately wanted to hurt me with that choice.
So potatoes, tell me? Was I the a whole again?
Sorry for the format and errors and the length. Edit

(09:17):
tried to fix the format and spelling errors.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
Update.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Hey everyone, First off, thank you for all the support
on my past posts. You guys are wonderful and made
me laugh about an unfortunate situation. So thank you. Now
on to the real reason we're here, the update on
my drama. Sister in law Lauren and my brother Kurt
have decided to split up for a little bit, a
permanent type of break, if you will. I hear no
shock from yo, Sopha.

Speaker 3 (09:41):
What sorry?

Speaker 1 (09:43):
Why there we go?

Speaker 2 (09:45):
My brother called me a little bit of go to
inform you of this choice. Somehow he got a hold
of my posts and read many responses. Good for him.
He decided that the way Lauren treated me was unfair
and he was told white was a no no, but
was not told that my dress was being black meant
that black was the new no no. He told me
that Lauren said I was fine with her being in
black as a bonding tool for us, so she was
just lying to the brother. Lauren then went on to

(10:07):
explain that I singled her out and was rude to her.
My brother told her that the BS was enough and
he knows better now. He said he never wanted to marry,
but after I got engaged, she insisted they got married too.
So it was not the brother who was like feeling jealous.
It was just Lauren's her sibling rivalry with not even
her siblings.

Speaker 4 (10:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
While they both were originally okay with never marrying, something
shifted the day I was engaged. My brother said Lauren
completely flipped her standards and want My brother gave in,
but ultimately after my wedding did a lot of thinking
and decided he doesn't want to be married at all.
Laurne hated that and told him either the marry or
the split. When he called me, I was very hesitant
to answer because all the things that were said previously. However,

(10:47):
my husband said it might be best just to hear
what he says, and then decide if I still want
no contact. Bless my hobby. I love him. When I
called him back, he immediately apologized for everything, explained what
I previously said, and then told me about their relationship.
He said he was really sorry he missed my big
day and wishes he had seen that he could have stayed.
He said the next big celebration, no one will stand
in his way of being there. I told him I

(11:09):
really appreciate his apology, but that his behavior will still
have to improve for our sibling relationship to improve. He agreed.
I also stated how I was sorry to hear about
their breakup and then I wasn't trying to cause that.
He explained none of it was ever my fault and
that he loves me. That's where we left it.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
So.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
A little bit ago, my brother texted the family group
drop saying that Lauren is claiming she's pregnant and that
it's his child and he needs to be there.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
Do we believe it?

Speaker 3 (11:33):
I don't buy it.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
She has consistently been lying.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 4 (11:38):
I don't know if I don't even know if she
is pregnant.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
Kean, what do you think she's pregnant, show me the carfax,
hum carfax. I am so confused because they never wanted kids,
and my brothers said she was adamant about taking her
birth control, which she could also have been lying about
to him.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
True.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
I told him to be there for his kid, but
that doesn't mean he has to be with her, and
that maybe this might be why she's son flipped on
getting married. He said he'll talk with her, but that's it.
I'm not sure what's going to happen there, but again,
I wish him the best. To test ye, get a
paternity test like stat.

Speaker 3 (12:10):
Also again prove it.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's just lying, but it isn't
my relationship or responsibilities. I'm fine. Nonetheless, I'm glad my
brother apologize and wants to reconcile, and hopefully that behavior
of change continues. As for Lauren, I still have zero
contact with her and I will likely keep it that way.
If she's with child again doubtful. I wish her a
happy and healthy pregnancy. I don't know how my brother

(12:33):
is handling it, but I will let you guys know
if anything changes there. For now, they are not having
a wedding, but maybe a baby I'm still madly in
love with my husband and continuing to enjoy our newly
weed life with the best man I've ever known. My
parents are trying to help my brother and let him
move back in, and are glad him and I are speaking. However,
the scene disappointed in him and his possible baby mother.

(12:55):
But if you want to be our baby mama, you can.
You just got to listen the full episodes with stories
just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast their
favorite podcast app and search Okay storytime to all. In all,
set your boundaries and be happy with them. Thank you
again for all the advice you wonderful humans gave me,
even the very funny ones. I love you, guys, and
my husband insisted I include that as wonderful as he is,

(13:15):
I am ten times more lovely.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Ah okay, and my time is off.

Speaker 2 (13:19):
She only found out she was pregnant a week before
my wedding, and she claims to be about a month long,
so way after she demanded the engagement. It was a
happy ending. Brope.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
That's true. Oh, be had a good wedding.

Speaker 4 (13:32):
My mother in law is manipulative, so we started recording
every interaction.

Speaker 3 (13:37):
I think, Okay, for context.

Speaker 4 (13:39):
My twenty female boyfriend twenty male, let's call him Adam,
and I have been together for a few years, and
from the start is mother Karen fifty two females made
subtle remarks about how he.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
Could have done better.

Speaker 4 (13:51):
Oh, by the way, this comes from Dry Yellow eighteen
sixty six. And if you want to submit your own stories,
go to art slash Okay story Time suppurated it.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
I knew he was gonna be bad when her name
was Karen.

Speaker 4 (14:00):
She's all triviligious and expects her children to follow a
perfect traditional path school, university, a real job, and complete obedience.
Since we don't fit her mold, every little thing we
do is labeled as disrespectful, even when we're just having honest,
normal conversations. Adam's brother, John thirty three male, still lives
with her and gets away with everything. She only steps

(14:23):
in when his behavior is so bad that it's unavoidable,
and even then only if we're around to see it.
But if he refuses to help with something, she yells
at Adham to do it instead if she did not
tell him to do it originally, which is most of
the time, even if he's busy. If she's in a
bad mood. She gives him the silent treatment if he
tries to talk about his feelings. She accuses him of

(14:45):
holding onto grudges and that he should let go of
the past. So when we were seventeen, I moved in
with them because my home was very toxic. I only
shared part of what happened, not all, because I was
afraid she would call the authorities on my parents. She
said she understood from the get go. I noticed Adam
is not allowed to have his own privacy at all,

(15:06):
because that means he is hiding things from her. According
to her, she treats Adam like he's her partner. Oh no,
She's completely codependent on him and expects him to drop
everything for her.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
It's called ameshment.

Speaker 4 (15:18):
Yeah, we learned that one. If he's busy working, spending
time with me, or caring for our daughter to female,
she gets mad and says, I'm never allowed to ask
you for anything. But at the same time, she treats
him horribly. She constantly criticizes him, insults him, and disrespects him,
yet expects him to be at her beck and call.
Fast forward a year and we have our daughter and

(15:40):
she is the love of our life. Karen suspected I
was pregnant. We did not know I was, and said
she hopes it's not too late to do something about
it to.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
Not have the baby. I thought she was ultra religious. Yeah,
I'm sensing some discrepancy.

Speaker 4 (15:56):
When I gave birth, Karen stood by the door and
watched me get birth. When I came out, I was
distraught as it had been a very complicated berth and
our daughter was premature, so we didn't get to see
her as she was rushed to the ICU. I was
shaking the whole time we went to the maternity ward,
and I didn't even get out of the wheelchair or
lie down before she yelled at us, saying, we messed

(16:17):
up and better step up. Valid we should, and I'm
proud that we did. She then proceeded to pray for
us while I was still bleeding everywhere.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
Oh no.

Speaker 4 (16:26):
When she took Adam and John to town to get
things for our baby, they were the only ones allowed
to pick anything out for her. Adam wasn't allowed to
pick anything except for one beanie. Maybe that was fair
since it was their money, but they were rude to
him the whole time they were there, and dismissed him completely.
Back to almost the present, she gets angry at us
for setting boundaries for our daughter. If Adam tries to

(16:48):
calmly talk to her, she says, we're making trouble, and
the famous statement do not start with me comes out.
It doesn't stop there. When our daughter is sleeping, she
deliberately yells just to prove a even though we've asked
her to be quiet. When Adam hands over our daughter
to her so they can spend time together, she picks
a fight. We have a strict rule no yelling or

(17:10):
disrespectful conversations in front of our daughter because it stresses
her out, and she will think that is normal. Her parents'
criticisms are relentless. She claims we are raising our daughter
to look poor because she sometimes plays shirtless in the
shade during summer spring. Yet she expects us to wrap
her in a blanket indoors in thirty seven degrees celsius
ninety eight point six trees fahrenheit heat.

Speaker 3 (17:33):
When we refuse, she snapped, don't start with.

Speaker 4 (17:35):
Me, and still does it, even though we've explained that
our daughter gets hot very quickly and does not like
being covered in layers. Seeing as She was born in
the middle of winter and has hated it ever since.
She punts herself open and sweats profusely even in winter,
but we do cover her when it's cold. The situation
escalated when she, along with my father who I'm now

(17:56):
no contact with because of years of trauma and this
one instance over line, conspire to take our daughter away.
What my father told her that they were people trying
to take the baby away from our as a grandmother,
and urged her to seize full control over our daughter.
What he only did it because he was fighting with
my mom and wanted to cause her stress. Sounds familiar.

(18:18):
Karen took this as a mandate, even making threats that
if we didn't do as she demanded, she'd take action.
This is when we started recording every conversation for our
protection and for our daughters. Listening back has made it
painfully clear how much she twists words, gaslights, and manipulates
every situation to fit her narrative. And yes, she's furious

(18:39):
that we record her, but the fact that we even
need to record speaks volume. She's like, what the heck,
I never said that, And they're like, no, we have proof,
and she's like I tell.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
You, I love that. The image of her just like
freaking out in every scenario and they're just.

Speaker 4 (18:56):
Like It gets even worse. A few months ago, during
one of her rants, she reminded him that this wasn't
the first time he'd chosen some girl over his mother
when Adam was fourteen crazy it seems entirely irrelevant. He
wanted to stay with a girlfriend for a week because
things got so bad that he could not stay at

(19:17):
home anymore, but he was forced to stay and locked
outside of the house for a week, not allowed to leave.
When I confronted her a few days ago about what
she said, explaining that I'm not just some girl but
his partner and the mother of his child, she claimed
I was taking her words out of context. There wasn't
much context to salvage. She said what she said, and
now she's furious that.

Speaker 1 (19:37):
I overheard it.

Speaker 4 (19:38):
Fast forward a couple weeks ago, Adam decided to go
to the army, but came back because of personal reasons.
His mother did not like that he decided to come
back at all.

Speaker 2 (19:47):
Oh, we're going to go to the army and leave
your partner and child with your mother.

Speaker 4 (19:52):
His mother did not like that he decided to come
back at all. From the moment we picked him up,
she didn't even look in his direction and refused to
speak to him unless she wanted something done or wanted
to ask him if he found a real job. Yet,
according to her, it was because it was peaceful without
him there. Jeez, But it was peaceful because I couldn't
object to anything John or Karen did because I was

(20:12):
too scared that it would be me against the two
of them, and I have my daughter to protect.

Speaker 3 (20:17):
Now.

Speaker 4 (20:17):
Karen is not letting go of the real job thing.
For instance, she was holding our daughter and only when
she was sure I was asleep in the other room
I was sick, did she try to pick a fight
with Adam about our jobs. He told her she couldn't
yell while holding our daughter and if she wanted to
have a respectful conversation they could do it later.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
She got so.

Speaker 4 (20:36):
Mad she handed our daughter over to John, a guy
we're uncomfortable with due to his aggressive, short tempered nature,
and because John even comments on her timeouts, which we
actually take for her to calm down while we sit
with her and explain why she couldn't do what she did,
speaking calmly to her and breaking generational trauma. John likes
to point out that she's just one years old and
it won't work, and we just don't want to make

(20:56):
the effort. When Adam tried to reclaim our daughter from John,
who was in the kitchen around the corner, Karen physically
blocked the doorway and tried to push him away, Wow
yet to push past her. Then John held her for
a minute or two with his back to Adam, even
though Adam kept asking for her, and then handed her back. Then,
when Adam took our daughter for a walk outside, Karen

(21:19):
followed him around the entire house twice. The moment our
daughter saw her, she yelled from around the corner something
like I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to be with you
right now, trying to make it seem as if Adam
was keeping our daughter away from her, even though just
minutes before she was the one keeping him from his child.
She even whispers outright lies to our daughter, petty manipulations

(21:40):
meant to distort her perception to a two year old.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
You need to get out of there, as like a side.

Speaker 4 (21:45):
We moved on to another section of our very small business,
and it is struggling to bring in money. However, we
still contribute to the house the way we should. We
created a back buddy to raise funds for the business,
which is a recycling business, and we planned to sell
we made for that cause. But Karen is still not
happy that we do not have real jobs. So we

(22:07):
decided to buy our own things for the house since
we're not allowed to use their stuff anymore. Now, Karen
wants us to use our stuff for everyone, but none
of theirs to make things for everyone. Meanwhile, we only
have enough for ourselves, and they make ten times more
money than us. She doesn't like that we buy our
own things now and have an opportunity to work from
home for a little while, so she tries to pick

(22:29):
fights with everything we do. When we don't engage, she
says Adam is turning his back on her and his family.
A few days ago, we had a big fight, and
whenever we made valid points, she said.

Speaker 3 (22:41):
We were being disrespectful.

Speaker 4 (22:43):
Meanwhile, she was yelling at us and interrupting us, and
we stayed calm, keeping our cool and explaining how we
feel about things. She went as far as to say
that I do not have enough experience to be a
good mom to our daughter, even though it's been two years.
Yet she has to respect our boundaries and has gotten
better at it, but she's still.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
Not good enough for us.

Speaker 4 (23:01):
Apparently, I nearly asked her, so, why can you take
more than two years to learn basic boundaries? But I
have to know how to be a perfect mother at
two months because apparently she had to be one because
she had to go back to her real job.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
She loves to bring.

Speaker 4 (23:16):
Up the fact that I will never be a good
mother like she is because she had it harder than
me and did it on her own.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (23:23):
But she forgets that.

Speaker 4 (23:24):
She's allowed people in her life to abuse Adam and
actually joined in sometimes. When I told her that she
is not doing right by Adam by not listening to
him when he is talking to her about how he feels,
she said, ah, shame, how will he ever live? In
a sarcastic tone. My boyfriend told me we should just
leave because it is useless talking to her when she
closes herself off to anything and the conversation goes in circles.

(23:49):
She constantly tells us we're disrespectful, yet she insults, manipulates,
and fights with us at every turn. If Adam tries
to have rational conversation, she either with our words, changes
the subject, or sarcastically says, oh, though, now I'm just.

Speaker 3 (24:04):
The worst mother ever. Yes, yeah, and that's what you say.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yes, yes, you're terrible to you are not a good mother.

Speaker 4 (24:13):
There's no winning now. She's saying he does not care
about her and tries to send a messages saying that
we are not contributing, but she got mad when we did.
She's also mad that we are more independent than before.
She even asked for our daughter's birth certificate and then
said it's because she will be the only one to
inherit anything from her.

Speaker 3 (24:33):
Don't give her the birth certificate.

Speaker 4 (24:35):
We refuse to give it to her because we do
not trust her with it, and she got mad. She
then took the gift we got her for her birthday
and put it on our bed. Adam said it gently
at her door because he is not allowed to go.

Speaker 3 (24:47):
Into her room.

Speaker 4 (24:48):
We gifted it to her and we are not the
type of people to take gifts back, even though that
is what she has done. She then punted the box
and the gift away from her door and expected us
to pick it up. He bought her a dishwasher when
he was younger with his inheritance money from his grandmother
to make it easier for her because she has a
medical condition that makes it hard for her to do

(25:09):
certain things. He does not want to take it back,
but if she is going to give it back, we
are going to take it. This morning, she sent him
a prayer message after she picked a fight over us
not being comfortable driving with her to another town. After
everything he said, does it not make you realize how
wrong this is? If I have to record everything for
me and my family's safety. She then proceeded to say

(25:33):
that God would reveal the truth to him and set
him free because he has the Ahab and Jezebel's spirit.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
In his life.

Speaker 4 (25:41):
For those unfamiliar, this essentially means she believes I am
a manipulative, deceitful woman leading him into sin Jezebel while
he is a weak, well, he is weak and passive
for allowing it.

Speaker 3 (25:52):
Ahab.

Speaker 4 (25:53):
Now, I have apologized to him and her if I
ever tried to control the situation, but it was hard
for me to accept that.

Speaker 3 (25:59):
Adam gets yelled.

Speaker 4 (26:00):
At for everything and he just has to take it otherwise,
He will get a punishment, but now that we have
a child, I will not back down when things get
out of hand.

Speaker 2 (26:08):
What's your punishment, I don't know. Yeah, you're an adult
with a child twenty weeks spanking.

Speaker 4 (26:15):
But one thing she needs to understand is that Adam
is not weak and not passive anymore.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
You say it.

Speaker 4 (26:20):
He let the things she did go because it was
easier than trying to defend himself. But now he is
more adamant with his boundaries and ours. By the way,
I'm adamant that you can listen to full episodes with
stories just like this. Just go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or your favorite podcast app and search up okay story time?
Are we just being spoiled and unreasonable? Even in that
first thing, it's like Opi is being gaslet so hard

(26:43):
that she thinks that that she thinks that this terrible
behavior is normal. It feels like we cannot have any
say in anything because they have helped us a lot
with finances and our daughter, and she let us stay
in her house even when we got pregnant, and she
says we're lucky she didn't punt us out.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
It just feels like she's so good distorting.

Speaker 4 (27:00):
Reality and everything that happens, and she does not allow
us to have any boundaries with our daughter or for ourselves,
and everyone in our lives are telling us that she's
trying to make it harder for us. Maybe we are
just being dramatic, but we need a second opinion or
a bunch.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
Are we the ales? And that is the end of
the story.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
Here's janirog host here. We're gonna get back to the stories,
but here's a quick three minute break of ass from
our sponsors. My boyfriend sneaked meat into my food, but
I'm vegetarian.

Speaker 3 (27:33):
Betrayal, betrayal, bizest form, the ultimate betrayal?

Speaker 1 (27:38):
You what are you have fought? What are you in?
Fifth grade? The guy I'm dating is sort of a
good old boy. I live in an area where most
of the guys would probably describe themselves as that phase.
I am a vegetarian and I have been since I
tried to unlive a chicken when I was fifteen and
couldn't go through with it. By the way, this comes
from user no Meat Please. And if you want to

(28:00):
make your own stories, go to the r slash Okay
storytime subreddit and submit them there. So I don't mind
that other people eat meat, but on a moral level,
it's not okay for me. I'm not the vegetarian police,
but I also get tired of having to explain to
people around here that I do get enough protein. I'm
small framed and one hundred and eighteen pounds, and that

(28:23):
I'm not eating vegetables they cooked in lard. My boyfriend
and for reference here, op is twenty seven female. Her
boyfriend is thirty male. My boyfriend teases me about being
a vegetarian, but behind closed doors he is actually really
accommodating about it, or at least he used to be.
He cooks meat vegetarian food and says eating less meat

(28:44):
has helped him take off a couple of pounds. He
had me and some of his friends over the other night,
and he made pork chops for them and a big
old salad for me. While I was eating my salad,
I kept thinking something was off. The dressing was so
oily and had a really strong flavor. He always makes
his own salad dressing, so I asked him what he used.

(29:05):
We had all been drinking, and at this point his
two friends start cracking up. I'm sort of clueless, so
I wait for him to answer. He tells me that
he mixed in lard for extra flavor and he didn't
think I would notice. At this point, I just freeze
mid two. When he sees my reaction, he starts to
tell me it's not a big deal, it's just a joke,
don't get upset, etc. I calmly spit the food into

(29:27):
my napkin, placed the plate down, and got up to leave.
Everyone's gotten quiet. At this point, his friends start apologizing,
saying it was their idea, and my boyfriend starts telling
me not to go f that. I don't say a word,
and I walk home. I know that vegetarians get a
bad rap, but believe me when I say I'm not
one of those people. I work in a rural community

(29:49):
involving agriculture. I would never survive out here if I was.
I packed my own lunches for conventions and never make
a big deal out of it. But having someone I
care about essentially trick me into eating meat without my
permission is crossing a huge line for me. I haven't spoken, call,
or text to him for three days now. He's apologized

(30:10):
and sent flowers, but in one of the texts he
told me I was overreacting, which for me was the
deal breaker. My parents really like him, and when I
told them what happened, my dad got upset and told
me I'm making too big of a deal out of
something silly. He says, I'm letting my ridiculous eating habits
dictate my life. Reddit, I'm really hurt. I feel like

(30:32):
tricking me into eating lard was really cruel. But everyone's
attitude here is that I need to get a sense
of humor. I'm out of town at a conference and
I'm going to have to discuss this with him when
I get back. Am I just being too sensitive? Sideways face?
There is an edit, but quickly, I'm gonna throw this
to you, Angie.

Speaker 3 (30:54):
How do you feel I don't think so, because it's
not about the fact that she ate some lard. It's
about the fact that he totally.

Speaker 1 (31:04):
Like it's the deception.

Speaker 3 (31:07):
Yeah, absolutely, and that's that's not okay.

Speaker 1 (31:10):
Yeah true, And it's like it was my friend's idea.
It's like, brother, grow a backbone. You made the salad.
You could have said no, your friends, You're being stupid.
Just a fundamental, complete breach of trust.

Speaker 3 (31:21):
Exactly.

Speaker 1 (31:21):
Edit dang I did not believe I would come home
to all this feedback. Thank you guys so much for
making me feel like less of a crazy. My dad
always thought that my vegetarianism was a phase that i'd
grow out of, but I think he and I are
going to have a talk when I get back home.
As for the boyfriend, we're also going to have a talk.
He's made some other comments that I've let slide about

(31:44):
cyclists in particular, so it's time for me to lay
it all out there. Another edit here, I probably should
have mentioned this in the original. I was leaving the
following evening for a conference, so I did send him
a text when I woke up that I was angry
and didn't want to talk until I got back. And
here comes the update.

Speaker 3 (32:03):
Oh boy, let's get.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
On into it. Well, we had our little come to
Jesus talk when I got back about what happened. I
explained to my boyfriend how tired I was of defending
being a vegetarian to people. It feels like my social identity,
Like if someone was trying to describe me to a coworker,
they'd say, you know, the vegetarian girl. And I really

(32:26):
dislike that because I never bring it up. And when
I say defend, I mean you get questions from all over.
People seriously take you to task. I mean one of
the commenters on my last thread compared my actions to
letting a child starve in the third world country. As
I've gotten older, my defiance flag just doesn't flying as

(32:47):
high anymore. I don't want to sit down to every
lunch with co workers and to hear the bad hunter choke,
or have the rude secretary tell me that she read
vegetarianism is usually a cover for an eating disorder. So yeah,
I obviously have a chip on my shoulder about all this.
Everything I said above I laid out to my boyfriend,
all of it. He explained he didn't think the joke

(33:09):
would be a big deal because something similar happened at
a potluck. One of my friends made a pasta side
and used chicken stock. She didn't think about it, and
I couldn't tell when she realized. Later on. I shrugged
and told her sometimes it happens no reason to be
angry with an honest mistake, big keywords right there, honest mistake.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
And not yeah we know for a fact that's not true, right, That's.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Not what your boyfriend did opie. I was pretty exasperated
by all his comparison and explained the difference using all
of the examples you guys raised hit very heavy on
the respect subject. We argued about this for a bit,
and at one point he said, I basically became a
vegetarian for you. I bristled up over this comment because

(33:57):
I've never asked that of him or anyone I've ever dated.
I also pointed out that he was nowhere near a vegetarian,
which was admittedly sort of petty. Girl's not petty. You're
just being like, you just said something that's factually not true.

Speaker 3 (34:14):
Yeah, you're just proving him wrong. It's not petty at all. Yes,
standing up for yourself.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
He's a babe. I'm basically I with vegetarian for you.
You're like, you eat meat every day? What are you
talking about? This went back and forth for a while.
Finally I just threw my hands up and asked why
this was such a big deal. Why couldn't we sit
down and talk about boundaries and move forward. He said
he was worried about the future. He wants marriage, kids,

(34:40):
and a stay at home mom. His mom told him
that I need to eat meat during the pregnancy for
the baby to develop properly, and that the kids need
to eat meat to grow up big and strong. I
just stared at him, mouth open, completely blanked out. He
said that he loved me, but it was time for
me to grow up and compromise. Honestly, I didn't know
what to say. This was the first time he'd said

(35:01):
he loved me, but he was also talking about a
future that I didn't remember signing up for. I'm pretty
lukewarm on kids, and I definitely have no interest in
being a stay at home mom and compromise. What are
you talking about. You can be vegetarian while pregnant and
have a perfectly healthy child. I think I was just overwhelmed,

(35:23):
and I said something along the lines of I think
you have the wrong girl, and I went home pretty defeated.

Speaker 3 (35:29):
Yeah, it sounds like it. Also, my mom was vegan
when she had me. Or like, what, she's pregnant me
and look how perfect.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
She's made it all the way to twenty two.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
Whoo. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:42):
The next night I went to talk to my dad
about what he said. Initially, he claimed he was worried
for my health and brought up my bad run with veganism,
fair point, whoa calling out your mom immediately.

Speaker 3 (35:55):
Whoa, whoa there was going on here.

Speaker 1 (36:00):
But after some poking and prodding, he finally said, I'm
just worried you're never going to find someone. Sigh. Deep down,
I think I knew that was his main concern. All
the rest of my siblings are married and have children,
so I'm already the odd man out. Add onto that
the liberalism, the college degree, the atheism, the vegetarianism, irog.

(36:24):
I told him that my boyfriend and I broke up
and burst immediately into tears. But he gave me a
big hug and told me he supported and loved me,
but he wanted to be able at the end of
his life to know I would have someone to take
care of me. I went home and stared at a
wall for three hours. Oh my gosh, that's a lot

(36:44):
to process. But you can stare at a wall for
three hours and listen to full episodes of stories like this.
You can also do other stuff. You don't have to
stare at the wall for three hours, but if you
just go But to make it even better, right, if
you just go to your podcast platform choice, be that iHeartRadio,
Apple podcast, Spotify, whatever. Just search okay, story time, and

(37:08):
there you will find a plethora of episodes to peruse
and choose at your leisure. Okay, and we do have
a little bit of story left here. I think I'm
just gonna dive into it here for I'm okay, but
I'm still sorting all my feelings out. I had a
heavy night of whiskey drinking, a long morning of yakking,

(37:32):
and then I bought some anti aging cream. Nice. My
friends are taking me on a trip next week, which
I am really looking forward to. And that's about it.
And there's a little edit here. You guys, reading all
these comments made me teary eyed. Thank you. I live
in rural Mississippi, helping run a four age extension program.

(37:52):
The work is so rewarding, but the city itself, eh.
My parents live in Alabama, and my family is scattered
in Alaba. I'm a Georgia and Kentucky. I was trying
to find an article about the values around here, but
I found this video instead, and it is linked. I'm
not sure if it's the best example, but it'll probably
give you a better idea on how conservative the Deep

(38:13):
South is. Well, that is the end. Of that story. Wow, Wow,
it gets pretty conservative down here in a belt. That's
what I've heard. Yep, it can be it can certainly
be very.

Speaker 3 (38:28):
I'm glad this she's going on the trip, glad that
the comments are supporting her. Yes, they're gonna look up.
You're gonna find someone who is much better than this
guy than this this crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (38:39):
You just enjoy your life. You don't have to hunt
for it. When when the right thing comes along, you'll
know it, and it will come along and all you
have to do is be open to it when it happens.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
My roommate's girlfriend berated my large just girlfriend for not
wearing a.

Speaker 1 (38:56):
Bra at her own home, my house. That's my rules.

Speaker 3 (39:01):
Get out of here, leave her bed, let her hang freely.
So roommate himself is twenty three male. We have a
very quiet and comfortable living situation. I lived with Troy
the roommate for about a year before Hannah girlfriend moved in.
By the way, this comes from Big Boopit Girlfriend for
to four and if you want to submit your own stories,

(39:22):
go to the our slash Okay story time sepread it.
It was an unexpected permanent move rather than temporary, but
everyone gets along, and in the fact, and in fact,
Troy and I are closer because Hannah is the type
of girl who is very outgoing and brings quiet, shy
people out of their shelves. Hannah's front airbags are very large. Nice,
that's a great way to put it. They seem even

(39:45):
larger than they may be due to the fact that
Hannah is only four eleven. Oh my lord, this is
a great story.

Speaker 1 (39:52):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
Wait yet, four eleven's teen tiny whoa with some big bazangas.
She jokes that she's two thirds front airbag. Even her
biggest bras say thirty.

Speaker 1 (40:05):
Two k what like thirty two carrots? What is it
solid gold? Because I know that that's not that's not real.
That's not real.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
Never have I heard last time I heard of like
the biggest process I'd heard of last was h But
h ijk that's.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
Three letters above. This is crazy. She's two thirds boob.

Speaker 3 (40:31):
What it is the smallest say thirty two double g.
She's typically modest with them as she doesn't enjoy a
lot of male attention. My heart goes out to you
and your back and your back holding up those big pasangas.
Oh my god, not that I try to, but if
I were to ask her to wear something revealing, I

(40:52):
don't even know that she'd have anything in her closet.
She typically takes off her bra in the evening. Troy
usually stays in his room and doesn't really socialized with
us most of the time. No negativity, He's just a
loner type. Anytime he does come out, we all chat happily.
There's never been any complaint about her bralessness. For the record,
I can definitely say that Hannah isn't Troy's physical type.

(41:14):
Jesus size sixteen, and he has a big preverence for
some very skinny women, not fit, but just very skinny,
So I honestly doubt that he's looked at Hannah in
any spicy related way to begin with, not to mention.
Like I said, she's genuinely modest and doesn't have them
flopping around or anything. Troy and his girlfriend Jenna are
a new thing of the past four months. He's brought

(41:37):
her over and we all hung out, and Jenna and
Hannah got along extremely well. But a few days after,
Jenna sent Hannah a message on Facebook asking her if
she'd mind wearing a bra when Troy was around citing
that it was inappropriate and kind of sleazy. Oh no,
now she's just saying that it's sleazy. Just have no bra.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
That's not fair. That's not fair.

Speaker 3 (42:01):
That's so not fair. That's so not fair. Hannah just
shrugged it off and said sure, why not, So to compromise,
she started wearing a very flimsy sports bra. Things seemed
like they were fine until Jenna came over again and
Hannah just happened to be coming home from the gym,
was walking between our bedroom and the bathroom without a brawn,

(42:21):
but was otherwise clothed. Jenna lost her crap and started
yelling at Troy about this and then called Hannah a tramp,
a sleeze, etc.

Speaker 1 (42:32):
Oh wow, relas, she's just crazy. Man, Where is Troy, Troy?
Where are you, Troy? This person needs to be exiled
from your domicile if she's gonna be saying this stuff.

Speaker 3 (42:43):
Absolutely, she's just like a jealous person in general, and
then it's extremely more jealous now that she's got this
this person around. She brought up the way that she
lopes around and dresses and lets her butt hang out,
et cetera. I'll admit that sometimes Hannah's dresses right up
when she's ground on the couch with the book, which
is pretty much always, but since day one, anytime she

(43:04):
heard Troy moving around the apartment closer to the living room,
she sits up and straightens herself out to cover herself up.
She does not like being looked at by men. Like
I said, Hannah didn't hear anything because she was in
the shower, and when she got out, she asked where
Jenna went, and I had to explain that they had
a fight. Hannah asked what happened, and Troy told her

(43:25):
that it was just nothing. Jenna ripped into Hannah on Facebook,
calling her all kinds of names and telling her that
she's trying to steal Troy from her. Hannah was hurt,
and she went to Troy to apologize about the bra
thing and asked him if he's always had a problem
with it, and Troy said something like I didn't even

(43:45):
know I was supposed to care. I don't know how
to handle this. Obviously, I'd prefer my girlfriend to be
comfortable and not be attacked, but I do want to
know Jenna's tiraight aside. Is it inappropriate for her to
not wear a bra in her own home, and I
do have an update, But what's her answer to that?
It's your home, it's your home. I think that's kind

(44:06):
of the thing where it's like it's like people with
smaller airbags have like they can wear like like v
Nex and stuff, and it's like it's not a problem,
nothing is showing, you know. But then it's it's with
people who've you know, got larger bra sizes. It's kind
of like, well, you don't really have a choice to, like,
you gotta show cleavage if you want to wear that

(44:26):
kind of thing. It's kind of just like it's not
their fault. It's just unfair that that's just how it is.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
I really hope Troy breaks up. I really hope Troy
breaks up with her.

Speaker 3 (44:35):
Me too, Me too. A few things to address before
I go into the actual update. I did not confront
Jenna when she was going on on her tirade because
they were in Troy's bedroom. I have no reason to
barge into someone else's bedroom to start a fight. You
can stop with the pitchforks about how I was awful
for not immediately wrestling Jenna to the floor in a
show of manliness. Waiting for the event to pass was

(44:56):
a much better way to handle this. Hannah does not
need you to tell her that she's wearing the wrong
size bra. She has been to a bra that fits
for fit checks, and she measures herself frequently and knows
what works on her body. She has a wide range
of sizes from when she was figuring out her fit size.
If the measurements really don't make sense to you, I

(45:18):
can't help you. All I can say is that she's
a fat bottom girl. And don't we know that they
make the world go around? Have I right to go to? Yeah?
So to the actual update, I talked to Troy about
Jenna's outburst. He said that he would handle it and

(45:38):
he was extremely apologetic and said that it would not
happen again. He said that he was glad Hannah didn't
hear Jenna's tirade, and I agreed that it was for
the best if we tried to handle this maturely. Hannah
was still hurt from Jenna's comments on Facebook, but Troy
asked Jenna to apologize, and that's what happened. We let
Troy know that Jenna wouldn't be allowed over again if

(45:58):
she continued to behave like that. He agreed and said
that he would be reconsidering their relationship.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
Oo, let's go.

Speaker 3 (46:05):
Let's freak go, Let's freaking go. Sometime past and here
we are, Hannah has gone back to just being comfortable
in her own home, taking her broth when she gets home.
She is respectful of Jenna and Troy's space and where's
a broth? Jenna is over? But things changed the other night.
Hannah and I were cooking dinner. When Jenna came over

(46:26):
to wait for Troy. She hung out in the kitchen
and talked to Hannah. They seem to get along a
little better. At least. Hannah is very sweet and doesn't
hold many grudges. I was chopping up Brussels sprouts to
roast while Hannah was making some herb and palm crusted
chicken or something and some cucumber tomato salad that I love.
She coated some huge chicken breasts that she pounded, and

(46:48):
that's when Jenna piped up and said something like, Wow,
that's so much food. You're not gonna eat all that,
are you? To Hannah? Ha ha, That's like, my god,
how much food You're not like going to eat that? Right?
Hannah laughed and said, yeah, she was going to eat
it all. It was her dinner. Jenna scoffed and made

(47:11):
some comment like that's so much food. I could never
eat that much. But well look at me. Ah, you're
literally that's crazy. You know what she needs to do
And I don't know if this is necessarily, but she
needs with her with her thirty two k bra. She

(47:32):
just needs to go knock her out with her knock
her down, dude, Yeah, it takes.

Speaker 1 (47:44):
One blow knock her down.

Speaker 3 (47:47):
Ah. She got up to try to get our attention
and show off her figure. Boom didn't say anything, but
I could tell but the look on her that she
was starting to panic. Hannah has a long history with
the ede ns and one of her only triggers is

(48:08):
people paying attention to what she eats like that. Yeah,
that's like a that's so bad for you to do.

Speaker 1 (48:14):
Come on, man.

Speaker 3 (48:16):
She used to not be able to eat at restaurants
because she was afraid of people judging her. Jenna took
it a step further and said something about how she
goes to the gym every day because she loves keeping
her figure and she knows Troy loves it. She pointedly
asked Hannah when the last time she went to the
gym was, and then asked me if I thought Hannah
should do some kind of yoga or something. Wow, it

(48:38):
just keeps going.

Speaker 1 (48:39):
Man. If she has me that, I'd be like, I
think you need to shut your big, stupid mouth. Girl,
get out of my apartment.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
She made some comment about how sad it is when
girls let themselves go after they get boyfriends. For the record,
Hannah didn't. I was starting to get very angry because
it sounded like she was implying that I do not
love Hannah's figure or something. I put my hand on
Hannah's shoulder and told her to go to our bedroom
I could finish up. Oooh, I feel I feel fun coming.

(49:12):
She had the fakest smile and said good night to Jenna.
I let Jenna have it. I don't want to go
into what I said because it was not my best moment. No, please,
please go into it. But I could not accept her
trying to intimidate or make Hannah feel bad. I especially
could not take her implying at all that I wasn't

(49:33):
attracted to Hannah. It all felt too surreal. I never
met someone who would just say mean things about a
girl who was perfectly nice to her like that, especially
not about her weight. Jenna left and told me that
she was going to have a talk with Troy. I
consoled Hannah, who said she was okay, but ended up
not eating dinner. Oh no, we watched some TV together,

(49:58):
and about two hours later, Troy come. He just stands
in the doorway and looks at us, and he looks
right at Hannah and says, I broke up with her. Yes, yes, Troy. Yeah,
we love Troy. Oh, he continues, I'm so sorry she
is never coming back. Yeah, we love Troy. And you
know what Troy would love. You know what I bet
Troy would like.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
I know Troy's doing it right now, dude.

Speaker 3 (50:20):
I know. I just know that Troy is listening to
full episodes with more stories just like this one on iHeartRadio, Spotify,
Apple Podcast, whatever. So he chooses okay whatever he loves,
and he's searching Okay story time. He's listened to more
stories just like this.

Speaker 1 (50:38):
All it takes is one search Okay story Time and
you you've got fifty days worth of stories.

Speaker 2 (50:45):
To listen to.

Speaker 3 (50:46):
Just search Okay Storytime and you can be like Troy too,
but there is a little bit more. She would just
jump in.

Speaker 1 (50:55):
Yeah, I think let's get in it. I think we're
in consensus here.

Speaker 3 (50:59):
Yeah, Jenna is gone and done. Troy later said that
Jenna was convinced that Hannah was trying to steal him
and that she was just jealous of her body. It
was all because one day when Jenna came over and
Hannah gushed over the dress she was wearing, Jenna thought
that that meant she was in love with her or something.
I have no idea where this came from. It's never

(51:21):
about the bra I guess, yeah, and that's the end
of that story.

Speaker 1 (51:24):
It's just because Jenna's terrible and it's so insecure. She
can't allow other people to exist.

Speaker 3 (51:31):
Honestly, I feel like with just so many things like
this too. Wait, it's like about the weight and it's
all this like super like superficial things that someone's projecting.
It's like I actually heard someone like talk about it,
and it was like people like that have some sort
of shame inside themselves that they can't be like whatever

(51:51):
they're mad about, they can't have this certain body type
or whatever. They can't not go to the gym and
like let themselves go or whatever. And so when they
see people who are comfortably living like that because it's
not an issue, they get mad and then they project
like this.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
Yeah, that is a super interesting that's Hannah psychological concept there, right.

Speaker 3 (52:10):
Yeah, but by good Androy.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
Good on Troy. Because it's over. It's over, just like
this story is over.

Speaker 4 (52:17):
Oh yeah, hey, it's Sam, your og host here, bring
it back to the stories.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
But here's three minutes bads from our sponsor. I prioritized
my education over a funeral. It ruined my relationship. Oh
oh boy.

Speaker 3 (52:36):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
Oh, I don't know if there is a right thing
to do in this situation. I think you're just screwed.
Before everything happened between us, we were solid. I thought
this guy was my forever. We've lived together for the
past three years and I always loved him and the
way we supported and helped each other. He used to
say we were family and we would always look after

(52:59):
each By the way, this comes from user, so throwaway
one and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit and do
it there. So this year was my final year in
UNI to get my March and my part two exemption
to become an architect. In March this year, the final
printed copy of my research project was due, basically a

(53:21):
culmination of the past seven years of my education. Unfortunately,
in this time, my partner's grandmother passed away, and this
woman basically raised him when both of his parents could
not deal. They were incredibly close. In her final years,
she got dementia, but she always remembered him and their
little inside jokes. He loved her so much, probably more

(53:44):
than anyone else in the whole world. As a heavy,
terrible loss to deal with. Over those few weeks after
she passed away, I tried to spend a lot of
time with him. I took him to the archdiocese and
we lit candles and walked through the gardens and talked
about his grandmother. His friends came up for a visit
that weekend, and I spent the weekend with them to

(54:05):
keep him happy. Even though I should have been working
on finishing my research project. I took care of him
all that week, letting him rest and try to mourn. Unfortunately,
his boss is a huge wiener and it was a
struggle for him to get any time off to properly
rest and take care of himself. His grandmother's funeral was
scheduled to be four days before my research project hand

(54:26):
in date. The problem with that is that I still
needed to get everything printed and do final editing, and
the funeral was happening on the other side of the country.
This was a two hundred page research project. I worked
my butt off to get everything together beforehand so that
I could go with him, but in the end I
didn't have the time, and the reality was that I
was editing and adding to the project up until two

(54:49):
days before my hand in. I did skype with him
in the mornings and evenings so we could talk about
how he was doing. After the funeral, he returned home,
but he was incredibly sad. After my hand in, I
tried to talk with him about it. He showed me
some pictures and I read the eulogy that his sister
read at the funeral. I cried a bit after reading
the eulogy, and that's when my boyfriend got angry. He

(55:11):
said that I didn't have a right to cry or
be upset because it was his grandmother and because I
had chosen to forego the funeral. Oh no, look buddy,
I get it right. We can have feelings, but like,
come on, dude, if that's how you felt, why are
you showing her the eulogy in the first place.

Speaker 3 (55:29):
Come on, yeah, if you don't want them to be sad.
I feel like you would get mad at someone for
reading the eulogy and me like, oh wow, that's crazy, man.

Speaker 1 (55:38):
It's like you're asking her to what to blow up
her entire career path potentially by like flunking her ARCT, Like,
come on, come on to line. It wasn't her fault.
Things have just gone downhill since then, It's been two months,
which is that's a shock to me. I can't imagine.

(55:58):
On top of my research project, I also had my
regular work to finish over the past two months. It's
just been a very busy time in my life. My
boyfriend went through a similar experience the year before, where
I helped and supported him through his work, and he
tried to help and support me through mine, But the
entire time he was cold and distant, and at one
point he even admitted to me that he didn't want

(56:20):
to help me and he couldn't be bothered. So this
all came to a head recently when I confronted him
about how he's been distant and the way that he's
been treating me, like ignoring me all day, being rude
and distant and sometimes downright nasty to me. He basically
said he can't forgive me for missing his grandmother's funeral,
and he doesn't think he ever will. At this point,

(56:41):
I'll admit that I lost it. I was put in
a situation where I had to choose between my relationship
and my education, and it's only in hindsight that I
see it. I was so overwhelmed and upset that I
hit my head against the wall hard oh and screamed,
but only because I've never been in so much emotional
pain in my life, and I don't know how to

(57:02):
handle it, so I handled it poorly. Since then, things
have not gotten better. We've tried to talk it over calmly,
but a few days ago he lost it and went
on this rant about how terrible his life is and
how hurt he is. There's a lot more going on
with his family than I knew, including that his father
used to be physically obive and his grandmother would protect him.
I never knew this about his father, though I knew

(57:24):
they had an incredibly strained relationship. I've suggested therapy, but
he has said he's not up for it. We talked
about a solution, and he thinks I need to go
back to my home country by myself for a few
weeks and be with my family, and to leave him
alone for that time so we can think and mourn alone. Son, Wow,
the solution is therapy. He also said that he is

(57:46):
thinking about moving out of our flat at the end
of the summer to go live with some friends, but
he said that he wants us to stay together. I
think at this point that the relationship might be over.
I don't know how to show him that I'm sorry
or I missed the funeral, but there was no other
option for me. I love this guy so much, but
if this is how our relationship is going to be,

(58:07):
I don't think I can do it. I need perspective
on this issue, maybe some advice on how to apologize properly,
and if not, maybe some advice on how to end
a long term relationship. And there is an edit. A
lot of people have been mentioning this. I did ask
for an extension from my academic advisor. He told me
that the school does not grant extensions under any circumstances.

(58:28):
The way my university handles mitigating circumstances for graduate projects
is that they expect you to turn in whatever work
you have completed by the deadline, and then they allow
you to resubmit the completed project at the next grading cycle. However,
this would mean that I would not be allowed to
graduate this year and would have to wait until the
next graduation cycle. Also, I should mention that we usually
returned to my home country for a few weeks in

(58:50):
the summer to visit my family. A trip wasn't planned
or set for this summer, but we had discussed a
possibility of it, and that's why it's not a completely
unreasonable request that I go home for a while and
we do have an update.

Speaker 3 (59:04):
Yeah, that's just that's hard because I mean, he's obviously
going through it. You know, obviously this is a huge
loss for him, and you know, of course that's fine
for him to go through, and that's fine for him
to have these emotions, but taking it out on this
person is like, is not.

Speaker 1 (59:19):
Okay, that doesn't make any sense. I just wanted to
first say thank you very much for all of your
advice It was very helpful, and it made me feel
like less of a terrible person and made me realize
that my boyfriend is still mourning the loss of his grandmother.
My SOO and I had a long discussion the night
I posted for advice on Reddit, and we agreed that
we wanted to be together, but that something needed to

(59:40):
change in our relationship. We set some basic ground rules.
We both agreed to start seeing separate therapists. Great good
him for his grief and troubles with his dad and
me for my lack of confidence and stress management. He
again asked for space, so he moved out of our
bedroom into the spare bedroom in our flat. I also
booked to flight home for a few weeks to visit

(01:00:01):
my own family, and I'm set to leave in four days.
We were making some good progress this week, enjoying time
with each other, going to the park, just generally trying
to reconnect. After sleeping in the spare bed for five days,
he decided to move back into our room and I
was very happy about that. Up until two days ago,
I genuinely thought that we were going to make it

(01:00:21):
through this, but things came to a head last night.
I received my grades back from the school, and I'm
very proud to say that I got an A on
my research project.

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
Yeah, this year, it was gonna be a bad grade,
and then this whole thing was, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
Not worth it. Imagine you would just flunk anyway.

Speaker 3 (01:00:39):
That would be so hard.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
So not only did I get an A on my
research project, but one of my urban design proposals has
also been nominated by my school for a Gold award
from the RIPA. Wow. I am incredibly proud. This year
was definitely the most difficult in my entire life, and
I didn't expect to do as well as I actually did.
I literally just wept when I got my results. I

(01:01:04):
sent myso a long message letting him know how I
did and about the nomination, but more importantly, thanking him
for being there to support me through my degree. I
told him I loved him and that I was glad
we were working together on our relationship. Brother, how do
you fumble the response to that? I'm sorry, how do

(01:01:25):
you mess that one up?

Speaker 3 (01:01:26):
He's just gonna be so mad that she's doing anything
with her education. It's gonna be like, oh, well, well great,
and my grandma's still which like, can we have multiple
things going on in our lives. Please please.

Speaker 1 (01:01:40):
He came home that night fuming. He was so angry.
He just yelled at me for basically an hour about
my lack of confidence in my own work and about
how I didn't need to miss his grandmother's funeral. He
told me he hated me, and after that I sort
of just numbed out. I don't really remember much of
what he said after that, I just stopped talking and listening. Wow,

(01:02:02):
my final end of your show is happening this week.
It's a huge celebration of the student's work. I filled
an entire wall to exhibit my architectural work and my
research results. During the end of years show a lot
of people find jobs, so it's important for us to
be there to network and talk about our projects with
people in the industry. I did this for my boyfriend
last year when he exhibited his own work. I spent

(01:02:24):
six hours at that event talking to different people about
how amazing his work was. Wait a minute, so this
guy's also an.

Speaker 3 (01:02:30):
Architect, I guess, so so he should not.

Speaker 1 (01:02:34):
You're how selfish could you be?

Speaker 3 (01:02:36):
Oh gosh, my heart is being so fast too angry?

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
Also dummy? Maybe if she did go to the funeral,
she wouldn't have gotten the a are you? Are you?
Are you? What's wrong with you? I mean, this guy's
clearly blinded by his a grief. But more than that,
it's like, I don't think, no matter how much grief
you could have, there's just something fundamental twisted about the

(01:03:01):
way you're viewing your relationship for you to be able
to speak to your partner like.

Speaker 3 (01:03:04):
This, yeah, to be able to yell for hours about
how she didn't have confidence.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
This morning, he told me not to expect him to
come tonight because he needs to go to the gym.
I'm flying home in four days, and I can tell
that he just wants me to leave and never come back,
which is what I'm doing. I've stuck with all my
promises that I made to him. I supported him as
best as I could, and I've begun seeing a therapist.
He hasn't even called his GP to get a referral
to a therapist. Yet. He doesn't want to fix our relationship.

(01:03:33):
He just wants to keep me around, to pay half
of our rent and use me as a punching bag.
But you know what, you are so much more than that,
op And just because this guy's going through the loss
his grandma doesn't give him any right to treat you
this way. You are perfectly justified in your decision to
leave him in your past, and you will be better

(01:03:55):
off for it. Yeah, and you would also be better
off if you, in addition to watching our show, listened
to full episodes with stories just like this. All you
gotta do is go to iHeartRadio or Apple Podcasts or
wherever you listen to podcasts and search Okay story Time,
and there you will find our complete catalog and you

(01:04:16):
can browse your heart's content. We do have a little
bit of story left here. I mean, I don't know
if I have anything else to say other than like,
it's only up from here.

Speaker 3 (01:04:26):
Op only up here. The love of your life wouldn't
do this to you. The love of your life would
not yell at you, no matter how much he's grieving,
no matter how mad he is, no matter like just
no matter, unless you like we're violent or something like that,
then sure that would be a lot. But I don't
think you. I don't think that's what's gonnadpen ever.

Speaker 1 (01:04:48):
So there's no justified yelling in this story, that's for sure,
Not at all, so let's finish it off. So we're over.
I just paid my final half of the rent and
I'm moving back to my home country. I was originally
only planning on returning for a few weeks, but with
this Brexit vote looking so graham, I don't really see
a point of being in the UK anymore when I

(01:05:09):
return and find a job here, when I'll most likely
be asked to leave in a year. I like the
UK and I love my boyfriend, but it seems neither
want me. So I'm going home to take care of myself.
Take care of yourself and become a nice successful architect. Op. Yes,
don't sweat it, you know. Yeah, you're your your gold star,

(01:05:31):
your gold star student.

Speaker 3 (01:05:32):
Gold Star and a plus a plus.

Speaker 1 (01:05:35):
Student gold star ap plus.

Speaker 2 (01:05:36):
I wish you nothing but success.

Speaker 3 (01:05:38):
And you're gonna find.

Speaker 1 (01:05:39):
It, you know. I think you've made the right call here.

Speaker 3 (01:05:41):
Yeah, that's just inexcuseable what he's doing to you.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
That is the end of that story.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My sister-in-law DISRESPECTED my wedding request… she was asked to leave! - r/charlottedobreyoutube | Reddit Stories | EP2110