My sister-in-law is MAD about our baby shower invites…so she’s not getting one! - r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC | Reddit Stories | EP2068 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:12):
My sister in law is mad about our baby shower invites,
so she's not getting one old snap. So my daughter's
baby shower is in less than three weeks and I'd
like to know if I have enough grounds to uninvite
my husband's sister in law or not. By the way,
this comes from Champagne Miami one on the r slash

(00:32):
Okay Storytime suburdy I twenty three female have sent out
my baby shower invites virtually Friday, September twenty seventh, with
the following message that was sent to everyone in the
group chat. Hey, family, here's the invite for Ensley's baby shower.
I hope you can all make it. Let me know
if you need me to send you the link for

(00:52):
the registry directly. It's a small venue with limited seating,
so I asked that you please do not extend the
invitation to anyone. Everyone in the family has been accounted for.
But if there's any questions, feel free to reach out
to me. God bless you guys, and pray you can
all make it now. Like the message says, the venue
is small with only eighty seats. Only family was invited.

(01:16):
Because of how small it is, majority of the family
is coming my mother in law and my father in law,
sides of the family other than my parents, my sisters
and few cousins. I'm not able to invite all of
my family because we need to keep it small. The
day that I sent my message, my husband's sister in
law and that thirty six female called my husband's parents

(01:37):
crying because her parents and siblings were not invited to
my baby shower, and that the message I put in
the group chat was signaling her out because she is
the only one with extended family, and that had asked
our mother in law, Daphne fifty three female, if she
could create a new group chat and include her parents
and siblings and resend the invite. Daphne told her that

(02:01):
she wanted to be able to do that because of
the limited seating and essentially she wasn't going to go
over me and my guest list and invite her family
without my permission. All of this I found out three
days after sending the invite. I got the hint that
she was upset with me because we had a church
fellowship the following day, Saturday, September twenty eighth, where my

(02:23):
husband Christopher thirty one, and his brother Charlie thirty five,
Annette's husband, and myself participate in praise and worship. She
completely ignored me the whole event, which was really awkward
and obvious, And that is what led me to ask
Daphne what was up with Annette, and she then told
me the phone call they had with her how she

(02:44):
was upset with me because I didn't invite her family
to my baby shower. So she's invited, but her family
is not.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
If I'm having a baby shower, I don't even care
who you are. Just bring me stuff with a baby,
because isn't that the whole point of the baby shower too,
is it's like we're having a baby. Give us stuff
for the baby, please, We're gonna need so much stuff.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
True, but people want to buy fun stuff for the baby,
like clothes and toys, not like diapers and stuff. I
mean sometimes they'll bring like a diaper and a fun
clothes but like you're gonna have like so many clothes.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
I brought diapers to like every baby shower I've ever gotten.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Really, that's awesome. After a couple of days, I reached
out to Annett and sent her this message on October fifth. Hey, Nett,
I just wanted to reach out to you and check
up on you. I hope all as well. I spoke
with Daffine or recently and had asked her if you
had mentioned any her you were feeling towards me or
Chris after I noticed that you kind of ignored me
Saturday and dodged my hug. I asked her with the

(03:39):
intention of just wanting to see where you were at
emotionally and if we had done anything to make you
feel slighted in any type of way, but most of all,
not to continue any environment of hostility between us, if
there was any. I love you and Charlie and the kids.
The last thing I want is for there to be
any unspoken offense between us. I just wanted to tell

(03:59):
you that you can always come to me and talk
to me. I feel like Christopher and I have always
given you space to speak into us and our relationship,
so I felt like you could come to me for anything,
but I know I've never expeccily said that. Or I
just wanted to take some time today and let you
know that I love you, and I welcome you and
invite you to share any feelings and thought you have

(04:21):
with me. I promise to listen and consider your heart.
I don't want there to be any rift in the
family over something we can soothe over between us. Please
call or text, or even if you want to get
together for some coffee or something. I'd love to very respectful. Text.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
That was incredibly respectful and emotionally mature, and I mean
feels like it was right on the money in terms
of what needed to be said given the climate of
everybody involved in this story.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
She still hasn't responded since then, we've seen We've been
in the same place three times since and I've reached
out to her and sent her this message, and she
continues to ignore me. According to my husband, his cousin
twenty four female, and my mother in law, this is
typical behavior. This whole situation infuriates me. I've tried to
reach out and squash the beef, yet she continues to

(05:07):
act like a child, ignoring me because her family wasn't
invited to my baby shower, which first of all is
due to limited seating, and second it's my baby shower.
The more I think about it, the less I want
someone who is so self centered and bitter at the
party I'm throwing to welcome my daughter into the world.
And if she hasn't bothered speaking to me now, is

(05:28):
she planned to show up and ignore me at my
baby shower? But you cannot ignore us Every weekday at
three PMPs to you just tap our profile. Should she
invite the sister, uninvite the sister? Let me know in
the comments.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
She's already like done everything that she can do in
regards to the net's like feelings about the situation. Yeah,
she sent the perfect message, being like, you know, it's
not personal, but I'll take whatever you're feeling and whatever
you're thinking, I'll take it with an open heart, and
I will hear what you have to say, and I
will hear what you're feeling. And then to have no response,
that's just how.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
Anette is, That's just how she goes about that.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
But and then she said it perfectly, like right in
the post where she was like, I don't even know
if I want to have somebody like this at the party.
She's like, yeah, and you're free to do that. You're
gonna make more of a stink by doing it, So
you just got to decide, like what do you want?
More like, do you want the genuineeness of like excluding
this person who you really like have sort of found
out is a toxic individual. And that's based on you know,

(06:24):
because she won't talk.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
Yeah, she won't.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
She won't have a conversation with you because it's like
she's just now she's If this lingers all the way
until the baby shower, you better believe that there's gonna
be some kind of event at the baby Showerhette at
the center of it. I see that. You know, you're
just being pragmatic at that point by uninviting her.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Mind you, I'm not even able to buy all of
my family because I only have eighty seats, and even
though I don't have to. I would patiently explain that
to her, but instead she'd rather cry to our in
laws and make me seem like some a hole for
excluding her family and then try to go above me
and have our mother in law send the invite to

(07:02):
her family regardless. Also for context. She sent the invitation
for my son's birthday party to her family without my permissions,
so she's done this before. It seems to me like
she wants to have those events centered around her. Honestly,
don't want to entertain or enable her childish behaviors, so
I want to uninvite her. I'm torn because I don't

(07:24):
know how petty she is and will probably try to
retaliate by not allowing us or my in laws to
see her kids if we don't let her have her way,
which she has done a handful of times before. And
I don't want to put my in laws in that position.
But at the same time, I'm tired of her crap.
What should I do?

Speaker 1 (07:43):
It's so unfortunate that you have to be like, I
don't want to put them in that position when it's
really not you, it's her, and that's the one who's
gonna use her kids as a bargaining chip. Like, not you.
You don't have any control over that.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
This happened to my family. My mom and my aunt
had like my little other and like my cousin had,
like a situation happened between them. My aunt did not
talk to my mom or my Grandma for like probably
like a year or two did it show up for Thanksgiving.
It was kind of awkward, but they needed that space,
and then over time they're good. Now they've kind of
like figured it out. I think my mom's a very

(08:16):
controsnational person. I think my aunt is, but I'm not
really sure. But honestly, cut her off. It's the best
people you gotta have to have consequences for their actions.
And plus if you don't cut off now, think about
when your daughter's born.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
And honestly, like I was surprised when they said eighty
people like fit in the you know, the hall or
wherever they're going. Like in my head, I was thinking
it was like twenty or thirty. Yeah, but eighty people.
It's like, all right, clearly they have a lot of family.
And it's like, I don't know how much family a
net has, but like that's a whole lot of more,
even more logistics than are already needed for like eighty

(08:47):
people in one play.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
And it's like your husband's brother's wife's family.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah, it's like somante enough, we got eighty people. We
got enough people here now and we can't really accommodate
any more people.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Please and she's done this before.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
End it.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Be the one to end it, be the strong person
here until she.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
Comes out and is like, I regret how I handle
the situation. I had some growing to do, and I
think maybe I met a place where I can accept
things that aren't really because it's not in her control. Yeah, No,
she can't control whether or not her family can fit
in the at the baby shower.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Or maybe Op, you should have picked a bigger venue.
Maybe maybe it's that you know what.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
I take it back, Op, you're a monster for choosing
somewhere with only an eighty person capacity.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
You hate your daughter and you don't want gifts for her.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
She'd add, like an eighty thousand person capacity. She'd have
done it on the open ocean and told everyone to
bring a boat. No, you're fine, Op. My mother in
law refused to respect my boundaries at my child's birth,
so I told her to cancel her flight.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
Petit.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
We got a juicy one brewin here, folks. I female thirty,
and my husband, male twenty eight, are expecting our first
child this month. Husband is a wonderful man and I've
always felt blessed to have him, and we rarely ever
fight or disagree on anything. I generally have a good
relationship with his family, but we are not close. We
also live a sixteen hour drive away well. By the way,

(10:12):
This comes from user bunny Bot ninety ninety nine on
the r OK story time subreddit. My mother in law
has always said that she likes me, but just seemed
cold and cordial with me. She is hard to please
and easy to offend in general, but I managed a
good relationship so far by always being respectful and mailing
her gifts after every time we visit. I do that

(10:33):
because I genuinely care, not just to be cordial. Now
onto the issue. I'm due in less than a month.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
Congrats.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
Sister in law asked when it would be appropriate to
book a flight for her mom to come visit us.
I hadn't thought about that before. My answer to her
was that we haven't had that conversation yet to decide
when we will welcome stay in guests. Sister in law
sent my husband flight dates that she will be booking
for her mom twenty days stay starting two days before
my due date. So you're supposed to have a brand

(10:59):
new baby, and also the mother in law is gonna
stay there for twenty days. That's not a thing that
should just happen without the mother's approval. My husband responds
with a text saying, let me run this by my
wife to make sure she's okay. She has anxiety issues
and feels like she may need to have her own
space when she's going through childbirth. Thanks, husband, look at

(11:22):
that a good husband, consider a guy that's crazy. Nice
husband then comes and asks me how I feel about it.
Here's how I feel about it. I have severe anxiety
surrounding childbirth. I'm going to need to be completely serene
and comfortable the days prior to my surgery, which is
going to be a C section. I cannot be entertaining
a stay in guest during that time. In addition, I
will be in a vulnerable state following giving birth, and

(11:44):
I will only want my husband around. While we both
thought it may be a good idea to have her
help early, we both acknowledged that the help we need
may not be the same thing grandma has. In mind,
we ultimately agreed that we need time alone to learn
how to take care of our little one and how
to breastfeet. Despite how I feel, I told him that
I can see his mom is excited about the baby,

(12:06):
so I'll consider a compromise and to let me sleep
on it and think about it for a day. Because
I wanted to find it in me to accommodate her,
not because she will be of any help. In my opinion,
op he's just trying to go above and beyond being like,
all right, let me see if there's a way we
can figure out how to make your mom happy and
make me happy.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah, because hopefully the mom's there to help.

Speaker 1 (12:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:25):
Sure, but like, does this sound like she is.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
Oh, he's literally admitting, like, I'm trying to figure this
out just because I want to try to figure it out, not.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
Just because please the baby. Come.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
On the next day, mother in law sends him a
confirmation of her flight for a twenty days stay, which
she plans to stay in our house. No point did
the mother in law call to ask me when or
if she can come, or what I feel comfortable with.
I felt so disrespected and violated, and I started to
think of how many more boundaries she will be breaking
during her stay. I asked my husband to call her

(12:55):
to let her know we would like alone time for
a couple weeks with the baby, and to he and
she's welcome to come and stay with us for a
few days. Afterwards, all other visitors will be welcome at
the six to eight week mark. He assured me that
he will uphold my boundaries, and he called her to
tell her that we decided. She called me immediately after
to question me on how dare me wanting to spend

(13:17):
time alone and that I'm a walking red flag for
doing that.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
Oh wow, you should probably looking at the mirror.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
Yeah, you are the walking red flag mother in law
for not respecting op's like pregnancy wishes. She's like, it's
my grandbaby that you're talking about. It's like, hmm, it's
my actual child. I outrank you. They were just tentatively
being like, all right, maybe we'll figure out her. Sister
in law's like, by the way, here's the confirmation for
the flight. Mother in law has taken. She's gonna be
there for twenty days. Mmmm. Maybe maybe we talk about

(13:46):
it first. I am hurt. Husband and I got in
a fight over it. I acknowledged that much of it
was me directing my anger at him. Okay, at least
for self aware. I felt he failed me by not
immediately protecting me when I got her call. He acknowledges
my points, and he told me that he defended me,
but he didn't seem to address his mom's disrespect towards me.
To be fair, this is the first time he's dealt

(14:06):
with a conflict between his family and me. He also
told me that she shouldn't have upset me like this
while nine months pregnant.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
I think she's just wanting to see the baby sooner.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yes, she's like, I'm trying to get that baby out
as fast as possible.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
I'm helping you.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
Like, why did I have to fight with him to
get him to react? Is my relationship with his family salvageable?
Am I the a hole for telling him to ask
her to reschedule her flight? Oh, and we do have
an update, But like, you're nine months pregnant and his
mom is trying to like sort of mom zillah her
way into like or I guess grandma zilla her way

(14:40):
into the newborn situation where it's like, I mean, you
deserve whatever you feel you need as a new parent
or new mother, Like yeah, yeah, And like they kind
of made it clear from the beginning of the story,
it's like she's kind of high maintenance. It's like not
easy to please, very easy to upset, like quick to
like start, and it's like, you want three weeks of

(15:02):
that immediately after having your baby. So it's like, yeah,
of course you're not the ahole for not wanting that's
that's absurd. Hey, lovely Reddit strangers, your support has overwhelmed
me with peace. Thank you. I'm not proud to admit
that I got super stressed out about this that I
lost a full night's sleep over it. I stayed up
thinking of how unsafe I would feel if my husband

(15:24):
doesn't know how to handle this behavior.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
I feel like he's had oning it well. In that
conversation that they had on the phone, he was overwhelmed
by whatever she was saying. He had a limited amount
of time and space to say his concerns, and that
was just the only thing. Yeah, I think he's doing
a great job.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
You woke up early and found me on the couch.
His first words to me were sorry, I failed you.
Sounds like he figured it out pretty quick. He acknowledged
that he should have never allowed it to get to
a point where a member of his family crossed a
boundary or stressed me out, especially while pregnant. I followed
with apologizing for directing my anger at him. It was
the first time I've raised my voice with him during

(15:58):
an argument. You both try our best to are you healthy,
So I apologized for that. I also told him that
I had some time to process my thoughts overnight. Everyone's
comments helped me sort through them and realized that I
just felt like I was having to defend myself from
his family's behavior on my own. That should have never
been the case. It should have been handled before I
even heard about it. I made my expectations clear that
my and my baby's peace and safety will be a priority,

(16:21):
and anyone who dares pick up the phone to call
me and disrespect me will not be allowed in my
presence at all. That's what we call good boundaries. I
also told him that I regretted making an exception for
her to come in two weeks after birth because I
prioritized her over to my child by exposing my child
to illness. That exception is off the table now. I

(16:42):
explained to him that if his mother dared to treat
me in any certain way, it's because he indirectly allowed
it by not being good at drawing boundaries. She shouldn't
feel comfortable crossing her son and questioning me on decisions
we made together. She is betting that he will let
her get away with it. But you know what, I'll
always let you get away with Joining us live on
YouTube everyone weekday at three pm. Just tap our profile.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
The husband is doing great, making sure everything's good. It
seems like they're on the same page.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
Well, how do we feel about op being like if
the mom continues to bother me, like I put that
on my husband. I believe that's what she was like
because he's because he's fault for not setting up a
strong enough boundary that she doesn't feel like she would
cross it. But I feel like this might be the
type of mom or mother in law where it's like
she's just crazy. She feels like she's the queen of

(17:29):
the family unit here, so it's like, sure, you have
a boundary, but it's my boundary to break because I
gave birth to you.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
I would have put all of that on your husband.
The mother is her own person. She decides what she
will and will not do. Your husband is doing everything
he can to keep her away from you and give
her that boundary exactly once.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
Once it's made clear that he's set the boundary right
and like that, he's put it out there that like
you are not to be disturbed, and you are priority one,
and like you know what, You're not coming two weeks
early anymore. Baby. He is most important. My wife is
most important. Her well being in this time matters more
respect that if she continues to disrespect it. I don't
really see that that shouldn't be his fault. He agreed

(18:10):
he was sad though he lost his father recently and
is desperately trying to have his family together. Yeah, that's
a rough one. It broke my heart to see him sad.
I asked him if he is agreeing to please me
or if he's truly on the same page with what
is the right thing to do. He told me that
he believes he didn't prioritize me enough and that that
will change. He promised none of this will ever happen again.

(18:31):
I asked him for an action plan of what the
change looks like, and he said he will be addressing
his family about all of it. He hasn't talked to
his mother since to address things. It's been one day
since our conversation. I trust that he doesn't promise me
anything that he won't follow through with, but I can't
help but feel anxious about it. I will be telling
my baby doctor that only my husband is allowed in

(18:52):
my recovery room and making sure my child's safety comes
before all. I will update after he talks to her
or if anything event happens. For those who are asking
about my family, they also live sixteen hours away, and
that is the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (19:07):
Nice wow, good job because we're both the same page
and keep it up.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
Hey, good luck with the baby. Husband's got your back.
That's what matters most. Good luck with the baby. We
wish she was safe, healthy recovery, and we hope your
baby turns into like the next you know, Moon King,
President of Space and Time.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
My mother in law kept stealing our babies first, so
I stop including her in anything.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
Wait wait, wait, wait wait, she's not stealing the babies though, right,
just stealing the first. That was a real high intensity
first sentence.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
So my mother in law watches our daughter nine months
half of the time during the week while both me
and my husband work. We split it up between my
mom and his and his grandma when neither of our
moms can't. So there have been several times she does
things and thinks it would be a good idea, And
I know she just wants to enjoy her time with
her granddaughter, but it's like she doesn't think or ask

(20:04):
if maybe we would want to do that thing first.
By the way, this comes from Zombie ok seventy sixteen
on the r slash Okay Storytime suburn. One thing was
she said she was going to take her to the
zoo just to get out and do something for the day.
The problem being me and my husband were planning on
taking her that weekend or the next as it just

(20:24):
started cooling down and she's actually old enough to somewhat
enjoy it. So my husband thought it was a great idea,
and I was upset because that's her first time. I
just wanted to take her. He didn't see a problem
with it because they would get to spend time together
and we can take her another time. And I understand
she may act the same as her first time when
we take her, but it's just the first time is different.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
Yeah, it is just a little different, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (20:50):
Luckily I had the day off unexpectedly and was able
to go and didn't have to tell them not to go.
I knew it would be a mess if I said
I didn't want them to go, so onto the photos.
On Monday, she asked us to come over to show
us something. I figured it was a new toy or something.
She pulls out her computer and starts pulling up photos.

(21:10):
She took our daughter to get some photos done as
a cute surprise for us, and thought it would be
something nice for us.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
Okay, now that I actually would agree, that is a
nice cute surprise, because from everything I've heard about getting
those like little toddler like infant pictures done, it's a nightmare.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
Again, this is something she knew we were talking about
doing very soon, and even long before. We had said
we wanted to go during fall to get professional pictures
of her and all of us as she would be
able to sit up, which is now already standing and
trying to walk. But we had been wanting to do
this for a while, and she knew not to mention.

(21:49):
We just wanted to do fall all photos, then Christmas
as the seasons come, and maybe she'll actually be walking
at Christmas. But she not only did photos of her
first Christmas photos which we didn't get to see her
playing with the presents or ornaments. We just saw photos
of it. Just we missed all of it. Of course,
my husband thought they were cute and said we can

(22:10):
still take her to get the photos. He doesn't understand
why I'm upset. He says, I should just let it
go because we can still do these things and we
will miss a lot of her. Yes, since we work.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
I am seeing a pattern, and I think that it's
bad on the grandparent, But I think that the pictures
doing the pictures, I think that's a blessing in disguise,
because I really have heard that it's just like a nightmare,
stressful thing for the most part, or you know, just
wanting them to come out right. I guess it's different
depending on what your actual temperament is. But like, come on,
taking your kid to the zoo for the first time,
that's big and seeing like animals and like, come on,

(22:45):
like that's a huge thing.

Speaker 2 (22:46):
But this is something we can control. Yes, we can't
control not seeing her first steps or something, but this
we can't. So I work three minutes from the studio.
She got them done at the session was twenty to
thirty minutes long. I get an hour lunch. She had
made the appointment for my typical lunchtime. I would have
been there if I knew. So am I overreacting? And

(23:08):
should I just let it go?

Speaker 1 (23:09):
You're not crazy, Like there's a pattern here. The grandma's
doing this on purpose. But I think best course of
action might be to let it go, but don't forget it,
like keep that tab in your brain of like, oh,
I know this is what she does. She has a
habit of trying to do this cause you're gonna run
out of first at some point. Right.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
To add more background, this is one of my replies
to another comment and wanted to add this to the
post to help with backstory. I mentioned this inviting me
on lunch outings and such when I'm on my lunch
and just down the road from where they are multiple times,
and she has not invited me to go out when
they have been doing things. She completely ignores what I
want or say on several things we have set clear

(23:50):
boundaries on, and we live in a place where there
are plenty to do, and they go out a lot.
The zoo is over an hour away, way out of
the way, and there are things she could absolutely take
her out that are closer.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
And especially at that age, it's like you can have
a great time, Like if you're the grandma, you can
have a wonderful experience with that kid anywhere, go to
the park.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
So maybe the better way to post is the fact
she continues to ignore what I want, Like she goes
out of her way to do things I want to
do with her, and she knows of her plans and
wants to take her out on her first to do them,
such as other things she's done. I showed her an
outfit and I was going to buy her, and she
went out and bought it first before I could, and

(24:33):
took photos of her in it and posted it for
me to see at work that she had done this
and thought it was something nice to do so I
didn't have to worry about getting the outfits and making
her sit for the photos. I believe that's what I'm
more upset about. And these are just two instances she
again doesn't listen. Maybe I should have added more background.

(24:57):
It's pretty clear from comments and posting and reading more
of what people say that I have an issue with
my husband. I knew this already that this is why
we have started therapy together. Whether my mother in law's
intentions are good or bad. My husband is the biggest issue.
We make the plans and boundaries, and he just disregards them.
If she brings up something, he disregards my feelings because

(25:20):
he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. So the husband
is taking priority of the mother rather than his own wife.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
With certain things. Maybe again, with certain things, I can see, like,
all right, it's not really a big of a deal.
Like the pictures, I think. I think that's a perfect
like dichotomy. It's like the pictures versus the zoo. The pictures.
I'm like, we can do another photo session and the
baby's gonna act like it's the first time. Baby's not
even gonna remember that this happened. It's gonna be the
exact same thing. It's just gonna be our first. We

(25:45):
can consider it our first photo session with the baby.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
Just another edit to clarify and add. For both of
these things, we did not have concrete plans set the photos.
We book weeks in advance for this weekend. When she
knew we booked some, she went to a studio and
asked to be squeezed in. She told us how she
was so happy the lady had a last minute cancelation
and was able to let her come and get photos.

(26:10):
This was two days after she found out we made
an appointment for photos. So it seems like you can't
just squeeze in something you have to like Planet in
advance as well as the zoo. We said we are going,
just didn't know what day it would be, on Saturday
or Sunday. Also to add, I have stopped sharing so
much with my mother in law. I've told my husband
to do the same. He ends up telling her anyways.

(26:32):
He tells her everything. It's been a huge issue for
a long time that he shares everything with her, including
intimate details about us and me, especially when I gave birth.
I have told him not to do this again. As
I said, it's pretty clear I have a bigger issue
with my husband. That's why we are starting therapy together
to work on it. And you can work on yourself

(26:54):
by listening to us every weekday at three pm PSD.
Just tap our profile.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
I don't know if necessarily your biggest problem actually is
the husband or the first If it's if it's how
deep the hooks of the mother in law are in
your husband, like the sneaky Yeah, it goes back to
the mother in law for sure. Like, I don't think
somebody it's really hard to just completely unlearn a dynamic
you have with somebody like a parent, you know, without

(27:21):
some serious like mental footwork that I mean, therapy helps
with that. But I think you know the couple syrap,
you'll probably hope, Yeah, he needs to have your back
more as like his wife. But I think you might
be under selling how like this guy grew up in
an environment where this woman was his Yeah, I mean

(27:41):
it was his mom that was the controlling presence throughout
his entire like life growing up. Those hooks are in
real deep.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Yeah, And I think really talking to the mom and
honing in on boundaries. I've noticed this pattern. This is
what needs to happen, And I would like, I think
it would be smart if you and your husband went
to her together and talk to her about that, and
she'll probably just.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
Be like, I'm doing that. You gotta be like, yeah,
but you are, so you're saying you don't even realize
you're doing it.

Speaker 2 (28:03):
Little update, I'll just keep it short. So last night
we went over to talk to his parents again and
they would not even look at me. The absolutely knew
I was the one upset about the photos and not
my husband. They didn't talk to me at all either,
only talked to me through my daughter. We established the
boundary again and said we did love the photos, just
wish we would have asked is all or told us

(28:26):
the biggest problem is the communication. But anyway, they did
say hardly anything, just kind of ignored us and nodded,
but mainly just stared at her daughter and played with
her while we said we wanted to talk about this
with him. Me and my husband had a long talk
as well, and did something he mentioned that I didn't
even think of could be a big part of it.
He mentioned how him and his sister were both adopted

(28:49):
and his mom could not have her own. He was
almost one when adopted, So this goes way way back,
way way back. So since this was the first time
she had with a newborn who's trying to make up
for something, still doesn't make it okay, And she still
got those first with her children regardless of their age,
but maybe makes me sympathize a bit. Still not okay,

(29:11):
as I said, to not be communicating, but maybe gives
more insight into things. Definitely complicates things. Doesn't excuse the behavior,
just helps identify it.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
Yeah, it doesn't make it okay, but it makes it
less not okay, John here og host. We're gonna get
back to these stories, but a quick three minute break
from hops from our sponsors.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
I caught my sister having an affair with her boss,
so I told her boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
Nice job. I like that already.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
I female twenty three was eighteen at the time, have
an older sister twenty five at the time named Stephanie,
and her and her boyfriend Trench have been together for
four years and have a baby girl, Miranda. Trench has
no idea that Stephanie has been having an affair with
her boss for at least two years and they are
planning on getting married next year. By the way, this

(30:00):
comes from Positive Working thirty forty one on the r
slash Okay story, Tom Suburdy, So, I had known about
the affair for three months. I found out when I
was ordering door Dash on Stephanie's phone and notice incoming
work emails from her boss pretty much revealing their whole affair.
Stephanie knows I know because I confronted her about it

(30:22):
and told her I didn't want to get involved and
trusted that she would sort this out with Trench, as
this wasn't my business. Okay, real quick on that if
you found out that your cigaret billding is happening affair ultimatum,
you haven't so this time to tell them or I'm telling.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
Them, Yeah, I'd be like you have until end of
business day today, Like you have no excuse, Like you
need to own up to this immediately. Also, how embarrassing
to get caught through work emails. Come on, dude, it's
work related. We're gonna be going to work later.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
I am an avid SIMS player. I stream SIMS gameplay,
and any of my free time that I have, I
am playing the SIMS. My sister and I get into
petty fights, but nothing nearly as bad as the one
we had. After I expressed my concern about the affairs
she was having with her boss and told her my
thoughts about the situation and how bad I felt for

(31:14):
her Trench, who is madly in love with her, she
flew into a rage and said it's not my position
to comment on other people's relationships and I should mind
my own business and stop being a nosy B word.
I let it go and forget about it until I
got on SIMS that night and my account was logged out.

(31:36):
So I logged back in and my account was overridden.
This means that all my progress before the override was gone. Okay,
we're going to war right now. Okay, I know you're mad.
You're not gonna go over here and get on my
SIMS and do all that. Everyone put out your gameplay
hours and SIMS right now. You saved over my SIMS files.

(31:58):
I have an ex that never played video games whatsoever,
and dumped probably like hundreds of dollars into SIMS, into mods,
just into different mods and everything.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
You have to buy mods for SIMS now, she did.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
She loved that thing.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
You just get all the cheats, all the cheats are free.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
And she was so addicted that she had to put
on her iPad like and only have it around her
whenever she went back home. She couldn't have it around well,
she had to like lock it up. She was like,
every tiem in Georgia, I'll do it, but when I'm here,
I can't do it.

Speaker 1 (32:23):
Geographically, locking your ability to play SIMS is wild, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (32:29):
I know a lot of people are playing SIMS right now.
What's your game you're playing around Minecraft.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
If I had like a Minecraft world that I have
built for years and someone deleted all that, wow, I
would be uh livid.

Speaker 2 (32:39):
I was blind with rage, and I confronted my sister
about it, who simply said, if you get involved in
my business, I'll get involved in yours.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
Yo, Like, you are not in a position to start
making power plays. You are cheating on Trench and like
you think that you just won, Like, oh, that'll teach
her not to mess with me. Like she's gonna mess
with you back now. And you're the one in the wrong,
because Trench, do you even know how in love with you?
Trench is? Trench is madly in love with you.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
I stream the SIMS on Twitch and make YouTube videos
and I have a few thousand subscribers and I average
around three k views on my streams on all platforms combined.
I make good amount of money from Twitch, and although
it's not my main source of income, it really helps
me financially and it's really nice having the extra money.
So without my SIMS account, I cannot stream. So this

(33:32):
was like a business thing. This is like as if
someone like deleted our notion and we had no way
to read stories for okay, storytime.

Speaker 1 (33:39):
She's playing around with the money now now only is
she playing around with her Opie's heart because she must.
She gotta love the Sims if you invest time into
it because you love doing it. Now, she's messing with
the money because she's got a little baby stream running.
Who knows what that could turn, you know, take off into.
But if you overwrite everything with your lame brain, like

(34:00):
basic Sims profile the Sisters, then yeah, you're messing up
the money.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
Dude, that's wild, OPI. You still have a way to
get back from this. I have so many brain ideas,
but you're good on that part.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
But I just want to know where Trench is at.
I've got such a strong mental image of Trench in
my head right now, and he's such a cool guy.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
Yeah, he's like loving. He'll wake up in the morning,
make our girlfriend breakfast.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
He like really knows how to make like only a
couple things really well, but he makes them really well.
Trench is all of us, and it's full of love.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
I was destroyed about this. I spoke to my parents
about the situation and they were sympathetic. As you know
that I stream it to my subscribers and I love
the game ever since it came out. But they were
confused why she would do such a thing. And I
told them about Stephanie's affair and they were livid. They
love Trench and have always been extremely supportive of Stephanie

(34:50):
and Trench's relationship. They love him like a son, and
they advised me to tell him before they got married.
This ultimatum put me in a very uncomfortable position, but
I knew he deserved the truth, and I wanted to
get back on my sister. It's a little bit of
a revenger. I called Trench and asked him to meet
me for coffee, and that's when I told him what

(35:11):
I knew. He was absolutely crushed. So she took it
into her own hands and let her know. She made
her own sims in life said if I can't playing
on my iPad, I'm just gonna plain in her life.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
She really started moving. She started moving the pieces around
by herself. She's like, all right, we're gonna She's gonna.
I wish I could do a simlish impression like and
have this guy being like upset the sister's so dumb?
Me sure ma or by four me Charla?

Speaker 2 (35:38):
I have no idea what this is.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
I don't know either. I hope that sounded like simbwish,
but man, I feel for Trench. Trench deserves better.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
He was historical right there in the cafe. Trench and
I drove to my parents' house where Stephanie was to
pick up Miranda as my parents were babysitting her while
Stephanie went to work. Trench and I walk in and
Stephanie can immediately tell what has happened by his red
puffy face that shows he's obviously been crying. But instead

(36:04):
of apologizing or attempting to fix their relationship, she turns
to me begins cussing at me and hysterically screaming all
kinds of obsidizy, all kinds of words, until my parents
intervene an attempt to calm her down. Trench looks completely
defeated and takes Miranda off my mother and leaves the house.
At this point, Stephanie is still yelling at me, and

(36:27):
my parents tell her to leave. And this is when
Opie's eighteen years old.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
Yeah, which shout up for having more emotional maturity at
eighteen than your sister did at twenty five. Like that's big,
big ups to you. That's a horrible situation to be in.
Though I got that they had that four year old kid,
and it came back to me as you started reading that,
I was like, oh, no, they have a kid too,
which makes it extra baggy that she's doing this with
her boss. Like Trench is there, man, I bet Trench

(36:52):
is a good dad. I'm really gassing up Trench in
my head, like, I have no idea Trench. We don't
know anything about Trench. We just know that Trench is
having the worst time of his life right now. And
I don't think Op has done anything wrong here. It's
different if it's a complete stranger, right, if it's people
that you have nothing to do with, part of me
is more sympathetic to the approach of like kind of
minding your own business, because you know, there's a lot

(37:15):
of stuff going on in the world every day, and
it's like you can't take it upon yourself to try
to manage everybody's you know, stuff, right to some extent.
But if it's somebody like this, where it's like it's
your sister and this guy they've been dating for four years,
they have a kid. Now, that's you know, your niece
and and your sister's doing something to put that relationship
in jeopardy. I think you definitely have almost a responsibility to,

(37:38):
like let the truth be known.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
By the way, you can join us live every weekday
on YouTube at three PMPST. Just tap our profile and
there's another relevant update. And here it is. I thought,
instead of replying to each individual comment, I would make
an edit to explain some questions I'm beginning. No, I'm
not in contact with my sister or brother anymore, and
neither is anyone else in my family, which I don't like.

(38:01):
But I don't feel like I need to get into
that right now. This happened when I was eighteen. I'm
now twenty three, and there was some confusion as I
posted this story in another thread a while ago, but
no one commented, So I tried this one, and I
still wanted clarity. Trench and I are now very close
and lived together and co parent Miranda, who is six
years old.

Speaker 1 (38:21):
Now, oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
For those commenting about my brother, you were in fact correct.
He was cheating on his girlfriend at the time, which
explains why he was so defensive about outing cheaters. I
guess are runs to the family but thank you for
all the kind words and advice. I have also edited
this to make it more coherent. So I think she's
closer with Trench now and earlier the brother was like, no,

(38:45):
don't do that. But the brother had an incident happened
where he was like, this is just really bad. I
don't want to deal with it.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
Brother's like, whoa, you're outing cheaters. I don't like that.
And it's not even for any particular reason. I just
don't like it. Please don't look into my stuff. Yeah,
so others a cheater. Sister's a cheater? Ope, squeaky clean.
Spending your life with Trench. They live together and they're
co parenting the kid, which that rocks kid gets the
best version of her mom, which is actually her younger sister,

(39:13):
who is Opie. That's a complicated little family, what's it called?
The family nucleus that she's rocking with is a little
a little funny, But if it's what's best for her,
then that's all that really counts.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
Congrats, congrats on all that. Hopefully your SIMS is going
all right too.

Speaker 1 (39:29):
Are OPI and Trench gonna inevitably become like an item?

Speaker 2 (39:32):
Looks like it?

Speaker 1 (39:33):
Let us know how Trench is doing. Trench. If you're
out there watching this, leave a story update us. If
you are Trench and you are seeing this, we love
you and want to hear from you. My husband cheated
on me over a decade ago. I accidentally revealed it
to his mother. I'm so interested to see how that's possible.

Speaker 2 (39:53):
Can you pass a salt? He cheated on me? Thank you?

Speaker 1 (39:55):
Thirty one female. I am married to my high school sweetheart,
Spencer thirty two male, and we have two kids together,
a three year old boy and a one year old girl.
As I mentioned, Spencer was my high school sweetheart. We
went to colleges on opposite coasts and tried to do
long distance. By the way, and this comes from a
user diligent Coconut three eight nine on the r slash

(40:16):
okay storytime subreddit. So when I came home for Christmas
break my sophomore year of college, Spencer broke down in
tears the first time he saw me and confessed that
he cheated on me with a girl from college. He
said it only happened a few times and that he
felt terrible about it and that he only wants to
be with me. I was devastated and ended the relationship

(40:38):
then and there. We stayed friends over the years and
ended up getting back together when we both moved back
to our hometown after college. I was able to forgive
Spencer for his mistake, considering he was only twenty at
the time. He told me the truth when we reunited,
and he showed genuine remorse for what happened. It took
me a few years, but I completely trust him now

(40:58):
and know that he'll never be on faithful in our marriage.
I think a large part of it was that he
got into a top college IVY league and was a
star baseball player, and it all got to his head
considering he was so young. To be honest, I am
over what happened in college, but Spencer still beats himself
up for it because he believes cheating is one of
the worst things that you can do to somebody, and

(41:20):
he would be right, ladies and gentlemen, it is one
of the worst things you can do. He always says
that he'll never forgive himself for hurting me so badly,
and that he doesn't understand how I could trust him
after he did that. I've told him that he should
leave it in the past, and I think about what
a good husband and father he is now, but he
still dwells on it every once in a while. Yeah,
I think genuinely remorseful.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
Yeah, you shouldn't hold that. You shouldn't.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
I actually love my mother in law and feel close
to her because I've known her for so many years.
She's a successful attorney in our city, and she not
only encouraged me to apply to law school, but also
has become my mentor in the field. She always wanted
Spencer and I to be together and was upset when
we broke up. She kept in touch after the breakup
and always got coffee with me when I was home

(42:04):
to talk about my course schedule, internship opportunities, and law
school applications. Neither of my parents are professionals, so she
was a huge resource for me at the time. She's
been a great mother in law to me and a
wonderful grandmother to my children. Over the weekend, we went
to my mother in law's house for dinner and drinks.
My mother in law and I were both drinking quite
a bit of wine and she was telling me that

(42:26):
one of her nieces is going through a difficult breakup
and is heart broken. My mother in law was in
a serious relationship before she met my father in law
and said she was crushed when that ended. I said,
I know what that's like, because when Spencer and I
broke up in college, I was a total mess. I
cried all the time, lost weight, and was thinking about
it NonStop for about a year. My mother in law

(42:49):
was shocked by this. She said she didn't understand why
I was heartbroken when I was the one who ended
things with him. I explained that I didn't want to
end the relationship, but I felt like I didn't have
a choice at the time. This seemed to alarm her,
and she asked what I meant. I said that the
breakup was over a decade ago and that we've worked
through it, so it's not worth rehashing. I was just

(43:10):
trying to like, oh, you know what, Yeah, it's honestly,
move on. We don't have to talk about it.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
She's fishing for information here.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
She knows. She's like, oh, no, I shouldn't be talking
about this right now. I shouldn't. My mother in law
then asked if it was because Spencer cheated on me.
I think my face gave it away because she immediately
started apologizing to me and saying that she was so
disappointed in him. Oh no, Now she's getting it from
both parties. It's like Spencer won't let it go, and

(43:37):
she's like, it's okay, I forgive you, let's move on.
And now his mom's gonna be like, I can't believe
he did this to you. I'm so sorry. Is there
anything I could do?

Speaker 2 (43:44):
So she just came up with something said it and
she like found out from the facial reveal.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
Yeah, it was like she asked. She was like, well,
was it. It wasn't because Spencer was cheating, right, and
then she must have given one of these like, um no,
it's like, oh no. I asked why her mind immediately
went to cheating and she said that around the time
we broke up, a girl from his college sent her
a long email saying that Spencer was a duck and
that he cheated on his girlfriend with her. Apparently, my

(44:14):
mother in law confronted Spencer about it, but he insisted
that the girl was just bitter that he wouldn't go
out with her, and that he never cheated on me.
Oh my god. He told the truth to Opee, but
he didn't tell the.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
Truth to his mom, probably because he was afraid it
was like a good move that he told the girlfriend
in the first place, but he's probably afraid of what
his parents would think.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
If there is one person who needs to be told,
it's the girlfriend, right, But then like yeah, he probably
was like I already feel terrible about this, Like do
I want my own parents to just like grill me
on this when it's like I've already grilled myself. I'm
fully cooked, I'm ready to serve, like I'm done. My
mother in law asked if the girl was telling the truth,

(44:53):
and I said yes. I explained to my mother in
law that Spencer was young at the time, that he
told me right away, and that he he feels so
bad about it to this day. I also said that
we were a part and our brains weren't fully developed,
and I honestly don't think it says anything about the
man or husband he is today. I told my mother
in law that he's kind to me and that I

(45:13):
trust him fully, but she seemed very upset by this news.
My mother in law said she tried to raise him
to respect women and always told him that cheating was wrong.
She also said that she was upset because he lied
to her about it. Apparently he was devastated about the
breakup but always blamed it on the distance. I reminded
my mother in law that it was over a decade
ago and that I've gotten past it, but she kept

(45:34):
saying how upset and disappointed she is. But we will
never be upset or disappointed. If you join us live
on YouTube every weekday at three pm, just tap on
our profile. There is a relevant update. But let's discuss.
I mean, where are we at.

Speaker 2 (45:49):
It's of that the mom is now piecing all the
puzzles together after ope and the husband have done so
much work together. It is very, very tough spot to
be like, oh, this is my kid and they did this, but.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
Ten years ago, that's like a whole other existence ago,
a whole lifetime ago.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
I found out a family member cheated on another family
member that's really close to me, and I was like, oh, well,
because I knew that that family member was such a
different person than they are now that I was like,
I can't hold that against them.

Speaker 1 (46:21):
Did They just kind of like it was just something
that maybe you don't want to say, it makes sense.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
It was like you were doing this this this. Of
course you were probably also doing that. You were like
you were into the other drugs you were doing and
then like it's like, oh, that's so tough as the mom.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
I think people need to respect op though, like for real,
like need to respect that op is okay with it,
that she's moved beyond it and forgiven him for it,
and like they have found, you know, what works for them,
and and you know, it didn't happen. The forgiveness didn't
happen in the moment. It wasn't just immediately, Okay, I
forgive you.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
It took years. They had to wake up every day
and forgive one another. It was it was. It was tough.
Hear me out. Mom talks to the sun, they hash
it out, they get all out.

Speaker 1 (47:05):
Those are the two that have the problem right now,
and they should not try to make it involved in
the relationship that Opina has with her husband. But let's
find out what they do. I told Spencer about the
conversation with his mother, and he was upset about it.
He hates disappointing his mom and wish I had kept
it to myself because it happened so long ago. I
explained that she asked me to my face and that

(47:26):
I didn't feel comfortable lying, and he said I could
have tried harder to dodge the question. He has since
changed his stance and said I was right to be
honest and that it's not fair of him to expect
me to hide my feelings and never talk about okay good.
I was about to say no, no.

Speaker 2 (47:43):
Initially he's probably like, ah, you should have tried harder,
But then after thinking about it, he was like.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
He was like, what do you mean, No, that's wrong.
I'm glad that you were honest with my mother. Like
he's pretty aware that's good to be honest. I kind
of miss him being upset with me because he's been
in a shame cycle for the last few days. He
keeps saying that he feels terribly for hurting me, that
he doesn't deserve me, and that he's humiliated that his
mom knows they're getting coffee later in the week, and

(48:08):
I have a feeling she's going to give him an
earful and make him feel even worse. I didn't mean
to air out our dirty laundry, but she asked me directly,
and I didn't want to lie. Also, my face completely
gave it away. So am I the A hole. I
feel like I messed up, but would appreciate your thoughts
and advice on how to move forward.

Speaker 2 (48:23):
You're not the a hole. You were just explaining what
happened to you. I honestly think the husband should go
through some therapy and learn how to forgive himself.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
Yeah, that would be helpful a lot of these situations,
just like therapy would be one of the best things.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
You're gonna yourself with carrying all this stress around in
your heart. Literally, the more stressful you are, the sooner you.

Speaker 1 (48:43):
Willed, your DNA unravels faster, the more stressed out that
you are, and once the DNA is unraveled, it does
not reravel. I think that in terms of like what
OP should do, I think you just need to take
a step back and emphasize to your husband that, like one,
I think, yeah, that therapy advice is great, and then
that this is a thing between him and his mom.
At this point, she's already forgiving him. She's like, I'm

(49:05):
ready to leave this behind. We were different people in
different times, and we are not living in that time anymore.
It's like that has no bearing on our present day
relationship because she you know, she doesn't think he's a
person who would ever do that again, and he needs
to be able to let go of it if they
want to move forward, because it sounds like op is
really like sort of turned off by this, like you know,

(49:25):
the shame guilt cycle. She's like, honestly, She's like, honestly, dude,
you're kind of cringing me out, like I don't even care.
You need to stop caring, like or this is not
gonna work.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
Yeah, you're obsessing over the past. Were live in the moment.
Give yourself a breath.

Speaker 1 (49:39):
Sam, here ogi hus. We're gonna get back to these stories.
But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors. First, I
called out a home at a party and accidentally revealed
to everyone that he was cheating Two birds with one
stone two for one combo special. Hi everyone, this is
my first time posting here. Please bear with me a lull. Yesterday,
Mom took us to a friend's birthday party. She wanted

(50:01):
to introduce us to her friends for the first time
since my brother and I moved to Europe less than
a month ago and started living with her. In the party,
I met a gay couple let's call them Rob and Nick.
They are wonderful and I ended up spending time with them.
And by the way, this comes from user Victoria C.
Ninety eight on the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So
I walked away a bit to go to the barbecue

(50:22):
line to make myself a plate oh delicious. While I
was waiting for the meat, I overheard two men talking
about hooking up with a girl in a car. I
ignored it because I didn't know who they are, and also,
that's none of my business.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
Well, Jim, locker room talk happening, Just a little.

Speaker 1 (50:38):
Locker room talk in the background of the barbecue line.
A little while later, one of the men sat across
the table from me and Rob and Nick. Rob wrapped
his arm around his husband and kissed his cheek, you know,
like normal couples do. Then the guy protested loudly, saying,
are you seriously doing this? There are kids around?

Speaker 2 (50:58):
They're so gay.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
Oh, you're too gay for the children. Think of the children.
It called us by surprise, and the couple didn't know
how to react. So I said, you didn't seem to
care if there were kids around when you were talking
about effing a girl in the car. What I didn't
know was that the guy's wife was sitting besides him,
and well you can guess what happened. Afterwards. He started

(51:22):
to yell at me, calling me a liar. Then my
mom and brother came over to protect me. Rob and
Nick entered the fight, and his wife was lashing out
at him, screaming at the top of her lungs, was
even throwing stuff at him. It was a huge fight.
The birthday girl got overwhelmed and ended the party earlier.
I immediately apologized to the birthday girl. She said she understands,

(51:43):
but I should stay out of it, especially since I
didn't know them very well. Nick and Rob can defend themselves.
Some people are bombarding my mother's phone saying things like
I should have ignored and step away with Rob and
Nick from this guy because he was and didn't know
what he was talking about. Others say I should apologize
to everyone at the party for ruining the day, and

(52:05):
others support me and said I did the right thing.
I feel awful for my mom and the birthday girl.
It was definitely not a good first impression. All right,
let's dig into this update. Hello again, guys, I wasn't
expecting this to get so much attention, so I thought
I would answer a few questions and give you all
a little update. First of all, the married straight couple
were not friends with my mother or Nick and Rob.

(52:25):
They don't know each other. They only have the birthday
person as mutual friends. I didn't say anything loudly, it
was just casual. The man's reaction was what caught everybody's attention.
Rob's immediate reaction was shock, and Nick busted out laughing.
He called the guy a disgusting hypocrite. They walked my
family back to the car. I started to apologize, but

(52:47):
they stopped me and thank me for having their back.
I was invited to go clubbing with them. Yes, and
that's gonna be a lot more fun than whatever this
event was. I guarantee it.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
People in life were gonna hate you, They're gonna not
be mutual about you, and they're gonna love you. Stick
with the people that love you. If you make those
kind of decisions in life and you have people that
back you up for it, stick with those kind of people.

Speaker 1 (53:06):
Stick with the people giving you the backup for real,
for real, and then tell everyone else back up. Because
I got my backup with me, that's right. Okay, Now
the actual update. I sat down for a conversation with
my mother. I said that if she wanted, I would
apologize to all people present at the party, but she
refused because she knows that it wasn't what I wanted
and told me that she raised a young woman to

(53:28):
stand up in the face of injustice and prejudice. Boom,
w Mom, let's go.

Speaker 2 (53:33):
We watched the movie and you did what the movie
said to do exactly.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
But I had to do something about a few people
because I unintentionally did plant the chaos seed.

Speaker 2 (53:44):
You did.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
That sounds like such a fantasy.

Speaker 2 (53:46):
Thing you shouldn't have to apologize for.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
Yeah, the chaos seed sounds like something you go on
a quest for. You didn't go on a quest for this.
You didn't ask for this. Then we called the baday girl,
who I will call Carol. I started to apologize again
and told her more clearly what had happened. I offered
to take her out buy dinner and stuff, but she refused.
Carol said that she understood why I did it and
is glad that I defended her friends. She also knows

(54:09):
that it got out of control because most people were
drinking for a while. She asked me to talk with
the wife and tell her everything, so I did. The
wife is the most relevant person in this conversation. I
think like the wife is the one who really needs
to know. The wife was a little more upset and
very rude, but I kept my patience. She said I

(54:31):
didn't have the right to expose her marriage problem in
a table full of people, which again she didn't do that.
She didn't know that it was your marriage. She was
blowing up by saying this.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
But this woman has the right to be pissed because
she is going now probably hopefully through a divorce.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
Yeah, but don't be mad at me. Say thank you
to me. It's understandable that you're gonna get some of
the residual like angst and anger, but like you should
be like thanking this op or allowing you to not
waste any more time with this garbage man who is
cheating on you with women in cars. I stated that
this was never my intention. I had no idea that

(55:10):
they're married. She didn't even look in our direction, so
I didn't bother to introduce myself at the table. But
I felt the need to apologize to her once again.
I told her everything I've heard and described the guy
her husband was talking with. Turns out they're brothers, two
stinky apples from the same stinky tree. Also, I insisted

(55:30):
she should have a conversation with Nick and Rob. If
I hadn't said anything, she would have allowed her husband's
disgusting behavior. It's true Opie was standing up for Nick
and Rob. Opie was standing on business and the wife's
you know, bad marriage got caught in the crossfire. But
maybe tell your husband, you know, or hopefully your ex husband,

(55:51):
to not be a home of you know, a piece
of garbage. If you've got dirty secrets to keep tucked away,
don't be a loud mouth.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
Yeah, this is saying in the Bible. Don't like poke
at the specs of someone else. Like let's say, like
there's a speck in your eye, and I'm like, dude,
you got a speck in your eye, you gotta get
it out. Well, I have a log in mind.

Speaker 1 (56:08):
I would be way more concerned visually with a log
in your eye exactly.

Speaker 2 (56:12):
Basically, like, you shouldn't be talking about other people's crap
if you have like a whole lot going on for you.

Speaker 1 (56:18):
Yes, that like the glass house. Don't throw stones in
glass houses. It was a long call, and she led
me to believe that this was the last straw on
their marriage. I won't say anything else because, like I've
said enough. At the end, I think she realized that
I didn't have bad intentions, but we won't be friends,
which is fair. It's like, I don't think you necessarily

(56:39):
want to be friends with the person that just reminds
you that your husband like cheated on you and that
you have a failed marriage. Like you might just not
want to not for any fault of ops, Like you're
probably a great person, but she just wants to put
all that behind her, and you're always gonna be a
reminder of that. Lastly, my mom took some action. She
wrote a lengthy text to her friend group, and to

(57:02):
sum it up, she was disappointed at how many people
were quick to call me out but didn't seem to
care that their friends were victims of home. I wasn't
the one screaming and fighting. The party could have continued,
but it became a big mess because of how the
men were. They tried to help out but ended up
making it worse. But you know what's never gonna make

(57:22):
things worse y'all joining us every weekday on YouTube live
at three pm. Just tabar profile and you're in and
there is another relevant update. But where we at so far, Like.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
Everyone that matters in the story has held Opie's back
and I'm cool with it.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
Yeah, Mom's got her bag, and being like, I'm disappointed
in the partygoers for trying to put all the blame
on you.

Speaker 2 (57:45):
The party girl herself was cool with it. She was
like understandable, well than to have any hate towards.

Speaker 1 (57:51):
Party Girl is commendable. Hosts saying I've got no animosity
towards what has happened here, but you do need to
talk to the wife who you did get a little
Maybe she was a little feisty with Opie, but it's
to be expected, like she's going through a lot and
you never know it's you know, she was also married
the nasty, lame home guy that stinks already overall not

(58:16):
a bad op is clearly in the right boat in
this situation. So the final update here she stated that
her daughter me already apologized and reached out to those
who got truly affected by the situation, and they should
all do the same. Some people ended up Leaving the chat,
a woman said, my mother was enabling my behavior, and
one of them wants me to stay away from all

(58:37):
of their social gatherings because I'm a trouble maker. A
few others are still weighing in. I think this will
drag out a little longer, which and that does. But
I can't imagine a group of people being like, oh, this,
this girl is a troublemaker. It's like, no, the guy
who cheated on his wife and was being openly homes
is the troublemaker. Not ope, like com on less than

(59:01):
a month in a new country and I already messed up.
Not gonna lie. I feel bad. Yes, I did stand
up to defend a lovely couple, but it doesn't feel
good to know all the trouble that followed. Anyway, I
think that's it. I'll try to stay away from all
of it. Thanks for reading and for all the advice.

Speaker 2 (59:18):
I wouldn't put that on your shoulders, because to be
a good person and have good character and integrity, you
have to do hard things. This is a hard decision.
It short term did not turn out well, but in
the long term of life, if you keep making these decisions,
your life will be more integral and more solid, and
he'll be around people that support you and your view

(59:39):
on the world. So I say, it's a win. It's tough.
You're going through this right now, we're good.

Speaker 1 (59:44):
I think part of it might be she's also newer too.
She's like she's been there for a month, so like,
I think everyone in the group's gonna be quicker to
point a finger at her. Oh so she shows up
and now and now their marriage is gonna end, and
it's like, no, he wrecked his own home. He took
a sledgehammer to the structural supports of his home by himself.

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
I hope it works out, though, Op. I hope you
have fun in the country.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
It's just gonna take more time, and there'll be people
in that group that I'm sure support you, and there'll
be people who don't want you, and you'll be able
to find something and that is the end of that story.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My sister-in-law is MAD about our baby shower invites…so she’s not getting one! - r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC | Reddit Stories | EP2068