My sister is already pushing my LIMITS… now she wants to bring her children! | Reddit Stories | EP2167 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og
Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories
coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute
break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
My sister is already pushing my limits now she wants
to bring her children.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
Stop pushing my buttons.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Do not push it to the limit. So my sister
lives in a house literally next door to our parents,
and I live in a large city about forty five
minutes away from there. Subburdso, my sister has two kids,
eight female, five male, and was a military wife but
was widowed he got in a car accident didn't happen

(00:40):
when he was in action. She has gone back to
school and gotten a degree in it and is very
good with computers, tech and math. So that makes sense.
By the way, this comes from user, My sister makes
me crazy. And if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay story Time subredit and
submit them there.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Now.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Unfortunately, there aren't really jobs where she is anymore, not many,
so she is having to look in the big city
where I am. Well, she got a job, but she
doesn't want to move her kids out until the end
of the school year to make sure the job works
out and also make it smoother for them, So she
devised a plan to stay with me during the week
in the city and let our parents watch the kids

(01:20):
during the week. My parents are thrilled. Being grandparents is
their favorite thing ever, and they love taking care of
the kids. And I'm perfectly okay with it, except my
sister is the worst housed guest ever. Here are some issues.
My husband and I are child free, and I'm the
older sister, so it's clear we're not having kids. We
also made it clear when this agreement was made that

(01:41):
we didn't want her kids staying overnight in our home.
They never have and it's not a home for kids. Instead,
what a home for kids do? They just leave sharp
objects anywhere, and it's like the.

Speaker 4 (01:54):
Outlet, it's not a home for kids.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
You can't have your kids over.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
The outlets have tiny neon signs over them.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
We put all our forks next to the outlets.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
We leave them inside.

Speaker 4 (02:05):
We sharpen them every day.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
We take a little angle grinder and we sharpen up
the corners of every service in our house.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
There's also a bunch of holes that you can fall into.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
And also we've got a guy just welding stuff in
the middle of the living room.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
Also, penny Wise is in our sewers. So it's just
not safe for kid. It's just not a home for kids.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
There's a river of lava upstairs. We don't talk about it.
The contractor said it's not fixable.

Speaker 4 (02:32):
The hwo I said we couldn't take it out. Okay,
We tried, okay.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
Instead of keeping the normal routine for her winter break,
since she still had to work one of the two
weeks the kids were off, she tried to bring her
kids here for a full week. She just arrived with
the kids, so they had to stay the night, and
she threw a fit when we told her this could
not stand for the week. She bad talked us to
my parents and her kids over it, which is whack,

(02:58):
and complained endless about how heartless we were to keep
her away from her kids. She also previously to this,
had her daughter over several times when her daughter was sick,
and one time, since it was a day my husband
had off, she even wanted to go to work and
have him watch her while she was home sick. He
refused and went out for the day, but that was ridiculous.

(03:20):
She also asked me to stay home with the kids
since she was new at her job. But I'm not
sure why my niece needed to be dragged into the
city sick. Why not just leave her with my parents.
They're still relatively young, spry, and have no issues taking
care of them, So why would a time when the
child is sick be appropriate to bring her to our place?
Another weekend with approval when the kids had a Monday

(03:41):
off and so did I. She had the kids stay
Saturday and Sunday night, and I took them to the
zoo for the day on Monday while my sister was
at work. We don't hate her kids. We just feel
she uses them to cross boundaries.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
I mean absolutely. If you're saying, hey, we can't take
care of the kids and she just drops them off,
yeah she's crossing boundaries.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yes exactly.

Speaker 3 (04:01):
You got one of those salt boundaries and she's crossing it.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
And look, it's not child friendly. Is this a case
of op like maybe just like not liking the kids.
I don't know. It sounds like it's like they were okay,
like Timeline, it was fine. They don't like the kids. However,
even if that was the case.

Speaker 4 (04:20):
Fine, it's fine, that's the case.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, it is not op's responsibility to take care of
these kids.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
And then it's also just doubly goos to be like, hey,
you don't want me looking after your kids. I won't
like them, yeah, and they don't like no one's gonna
have a good time.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
A very fair excuse to give anyone who says, hey,
can you babiesit my kids?

Speaker 2 (04:40):
No? Sorry, no, no, why can't you. I won't treat
them very well because I don't like children. They will
annoy me quickly and I will be hostile. And it's like, okay, well,
if you know that about yourself, don't watch kids.

Speaker 4 (04:56):
Watch kids.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
Maybe don't have them either.

Speaker 4 (04:58):
Yeah, probably not.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
And that sounds like that's what the plan is. Yeah,
so anyways, real back into the story. She's also really messy.
The baby, well I was, I was assuming the sister,
but I bet you the eight and five year olds yeah,
are also not the tidiest, always making a mess. She
is really messy. I mean, her own house was always beautiful,

(05:20):
so I don't get it. But she has literally not
bothered to wash a single dish that she's used. Start
the dishwasher, and she throws her laundry in with mine,
even though my husband and I don't even have common laundry. Finally,
I bought her a laundry bin of her own and
she started using it. But she's always asking me to
do her laundry for her. I did it a few times,
but now I just refuse. It's constant and she hasn't

(05:42):
participated in house cleanup since she moved in. She will
sometimes cook for herself, but she leaves a huge mess
in the kitchen, even worse leaving scrambled eggs or beef
fat and such on the pants. We're vegan, but we're
not rude about it. She can have and cook meat, eggs,
et cetera in the house, but I can't see stand
the side of her dishes sometimes with all these meat
products in them. She's also very loud in the morning.

(06:05):
Both my husband and I have more flexible jobs and
sleep until eight or nine, but she gets up at
five thirty am and as soon as she's out of
the shower, it goes straight into the living room, blairs
the TV, loudly, makes breakfast, often on the egg pans,
and wakes up all of us, not every day, but
often we've talked to her about it and she apologizes,
but lately she just says, well, maybe you should wear

(06:27):
earplugs if he sleeps so light. She doesn't have a
TV in her room, but she has an iPad she
could watch on, or we have headphones set up to
our TV that we use late at night so as
to not wake the neighbors or her, which she could
easily be using. I really feel ready to remove her
just after a few months, and I don't know how
to make it to summer when the kids get out

(06:47):
of school. Honestly, I also don't really see why she
hasn't started showing her house since her job is going well,
and she has started mentioning that we have an extra room.
It's a game room, not an extra room that the
kids could stay it. I always laugh her off or
seriously shoot her down, but she's now clearly been saying
it to my parents because they are bringing it up too. Honestly,
I don't want to let her stay out, let alone

(07:09):
lengthen the stay. This is ridiculous, but my mother seemed
very insistent I let her and the kids move in
with me this summer. I am not going to, but
I would like this do not become a giant family drama.
I'm already the black sheep of the family, as both
my sister and my brother across the country have kids,
and my parents always wanted us all to have big families.

(07:30):
They think my husband and I are kind of defective,
that we don't want children. They love me, but they
don't really like me, at least that's how it feels sometimes.
They also hate that I'm vegan, even though I try
really hard to never be rude about it. Basically, we're
already the weirdos of the family. There's a preface at

(07:51):
it here. I feel like, maybebe I down played that
my sister was widowed two years ago, and that some
of this seems like her not being quite herself. We
are close, and she is actually the one who never
treated me like I was weird for being a child,
free and vegan, so on and so forth. So I
wanted to add that, as someone suggested I should. I

(08:12):
don't think I exaggerate her behavior here at all. This
is what's happening, but some context might be more fair.
It's like, yeah, that would be a really gnarly thing
to have to deal with on the day to day,
Like you have a husband who's in the service, he
gets out, he makes it, comes back home, gets you know,
meets his maker via car accident. Oh like that's yeah,

(08:35):
that's that's a real tough one to figure out to digest.

Speaker 4 (08:40):
It's really hard.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
Here's the update. So I sat down with my father
before talking to my sister because I felt my mom
was being very pushy about the whole situation. My father
mentioned that my mom was just very worried about my
sister because apparently she'd fallen apart worse than any of
the rest of us had seen after her husband passed away.
She seemed to be seeing a therapist, raising her kids,

(09:02):
going to school and getting a job, getting her license,
and keeping it together. But apparently the messiness and laying
about had already started in her own house, and my
mom had been cleaning up after her et cetera. Since
my sister had always been an amazing housewife and kept
a beautiful house, this really startled my mother. Apparently they
went in her house after not going in there for

(09:22):
a month because she always went over to theirs, and
it looked like an episode of hoarders with bugs and
roaches and all kinds of problems. No one ever told.

Speaker 4 (09:32):
Me, oh, horrible.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
This is why it's good to approach situations with curiosity.

Speaker 4 (09:36):
Yeah, like check in on her. So why she's acting
like that?

Speaker 2 (09:39):
Not my sisters leaving all this crap all over my
house because she's a slob and she hates me and
she doesn't care what I think. Like, oh, my sister
is completely emotionally drained and is probably going through a
depressive episode.

Speaker 4 (09:51):
So also trying to take care of children.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
Clearly, this issue was very deep in my sister, and
her psyche was somehow embedded in the dishes and laundry issue.
But I didn't think continuing to enable her was really
helping her anyway, So I still sat down and gave
her some clear house rules in writing with consequences.

Speaker 4 (10:10):
Yes, yeah, that is the way to do it.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
It's clear communication where you're saying, hey, these things need
like I'm here for you. I understand that things are
like really tough for you, but these are what I
need to see change, uh, And these are the consequences.
I'm not going to kick you on the street right now,
but you know you up to change how you're acting
in my house, it's true.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
I also told her there was no way to extend
her stay or bring the kids here, and talk to
her about potentially commuting if she decided she could, since
many people asked why she didn't. She does have a
driving phobia, but it's clearly improving. I told her I
support her and will always be here for her, but
some kinds of behavior are just not okay, no matter
how much pain she's in. We had what I'd consider

(10:54):
a good talk. She agreed to all the rules about cleanliness.
In the past few days she has been much neater
end quieter, but of course it's too short of a
time to tell much of anything major. I hope things
will improve for her. She's not sure she can commute
back and forth, but doesn't want to sell the house
in case she can't, So that was part of wanting
to extend her stay, not having to make a decision.

(11:15):
And by the way, you can make a decision to
listen to full episodes with stories like this on Spotify, iHeartRadio,
Apple podcasts. Wherever you listen to podcasts, you can just
search Okay story time and there you will find fifty
three consecutive day is worth of stories for you to
listen to with your cute little ears. You think I
don't see them. I do. They're cute, They're adorable. Look

(11:38):
at you with those little cute ears. Hevan have an
a cute here having it. Okay, Sorry, I lost it there.
I lost the plot there for a second. Guys, but
I'm back okay, and we've got a little bit of
story left. Your cute ears distracted me, so, oh god,
the story disappeared. Okay.

Speaker 3 (11:59):
Well, well, I'll give some final thoughts. I think has
handled this very well. I think approaching it with maybe
not as much curiosity as she should have in the beginning,
but like we've gotten to that point where she understands
kind of the full story and understands why her sister
is doing all of this, and it seems to be
now giving her a little bit more grace while also

(12:19):
still maintaining boundaries, which I think is important.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah, I do. And I'm I feel guilty of sort
of brushing that car accident under the rug, because we
did read that at the beginning of the story, and
I did internally think I was like, oh, I guess
she must have been miss I guess she must have
processed it truthfully because they said it was like in
a parenthesis. Yeah, but the way it was said made
me feel like I thought maybe they had really processed it,

(12:45):
like it's been a couple of years and she's like,
on the other side of this was recent. Clearly the
exact opposite of that is what was going on. Check
in on your people, folks. Yeah, let's finish the story.
I pointed out June is far away, so we can
make the decision of whether to rent out or sell
the house in April or May, since she has money
saved anyway, and our parents can help her rent it out.

(13:05):
They literally rent out houses for a living. I will
continue to help and support her with this, and she's
going to try to commute home a few days a
week if she feels up to it, to tackle her
phobia and see her kids more. I just wanted to
leave an update about the situation and a thank you
because the thread gave me some great ideas. Talked to
my dad, why wasn't she commuting, et cetera, and really

(13:26):
help me find my words, And that is the end
of that sort.

Speaker 4 (13:32):
My sister is furious I forgave my brother. She doesn't
know how I did it?

Speaker 2 (13:37):
Why didn't you give me the cheat code? Updown updown,
abab start.

Speaker 3 (13:41):
My siblings and I have had a really complicated relationship.
They are eight and five years older than me. Our
father was a very heavy drinker and he passed away
in a car accident when I was three years old,
so I have very few memories of him, practically none.
My brother and sister obviously remember a lot more than
I do, and were mistreated by him during their time.
As far as I know, he never laid a hand

(14:01):
on me. By the way, this comes from Coco Cola,
and if you want to submit your own stories, go
to our slash Okay storytime Separate. So, for lack of
a better word, they were both bullies to me. My
brother wasn't so much a bully, but he was very intimidating,
very strict, and would be very scary when I did
something bad.

Speaker 2 (14:18):
Sounds like a bully, Yeah, I was scared.

Speaker 3 (14:20):
Of him for most of my childhood. My sister was
more of a typical bully.

Speaker 4 (14:24):
Do you hit me a lot?

Speaker 3 (14:24):
Slapped me, took out her anger on me, teased me,
picked on me. In retrospect, I understand that my siblings
were acting out a lot of aggression from their traumatic childhoods.
It's very sad to think about from an objective POV. However,
at the time, I always felt scared of them and
hated them when they were being mean to me, which is,
I mean, you're a kid, you didn't understand why they
were doing it.

Speaker 5 (14:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:44):
But my brother went straight into the Navy after high
school and became a totally different person. I don't know
what exactly changed for him, but he became responsible, caring, patient, compassionate,
and understanding. He really made an effort to be nice
to me whenever he came home, which was not often,
but it It really made a difference to me when
I was a kid. My sister never changed. If anything,
she got worse a little later in the year. She

(15:06):
refused to come to my high school graduation or get
me a gift when my mom and aunts and uncles
pressured her, because, in her words, she never got me
a gift for my high school graduation.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
I was twelve when she graduated.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
Ah, holding a good old grudge, aren't we?

Speaker 4 (15:21):
I mean?

Speaker 3 (15:21):
After that, we rarely had any contact with each other,
and if we did, it was always strained and weird
and unpleasant. My brother got married a few years ago
and had a daughter last year, and we remained on
good terms with each other. I also got along with
his wife earlier this year, he invited me on vacation
with them to Mexico. For the first time ever, he
actually sat me down and talked about the elephant in

(15:43):
the room and fumbled through explaining why he was so
mean to me when I was young, how he felt
very bad for what he did, how he tried to
make up for it in his own way when I
was young, but that he was sorry for never actually
apologizing to me. He said that he had a lot
of growing up to do, a lot of damage to undo,
and it took getting me married and having his own
child to really understand fatherhood and forgive ours and try.

Speaker 4 (16:05):
To fix his relationships.

Speaker 3 (16:06):
I mean, like, really huge props to this huge props
to this guy for recognizing, oh, you know, kind of
working through his childhood.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
Breaking down generational troma love that damn.

Speaker 3 (16:20):
I of course accepted this apology because I have come
to terms with a lot of my issues and heartaches
as well, and I do recognize that he tried to
be nicer to me since he left the house. Ever
since then, our relationship has been stronger.

Speaker 4 (16:31):
That's I love that.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
This is getting me emotional and like hyped up.

Speaker 3 (16:37):
Yeah, and I have really appreciated his efforts. I have
no anger towards him anymore. We see each other often
and have since gone on another vacation to Miami with
his family.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
Oh god, my sister no has.

Speaker 3 (16:51):
Apparently found out about our newly reconciled relationship through social
media and other family members.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
Oh, this is gonna be complicated.

Speaker 3 (16:57):
She called me on the phone for the first time
for a year last week.

Speaker 4 (17:01):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
At first I thought it was a normal call, but
it became increasingly passive aggressive, and she keept bringing up
the past and saying, you know, I know that your
brother and I were pretty crappy to you when we
were growing up. We went through a lot of things
you don't remember or you never saw, and I try
my best to be a good sister to you. But
you were collicky and difficult as a baby as Okay, okay,
so you're not like you had collic as a baby,
and that was really a bummer for me.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
When you're blaming the baby, you're not ready to reconcile yet.

Speaker 4 (17:28):
You haven't learned.

Speaker 3 (17:29):
Anything, girl, and I think it was better that you
grew up without a father rather than having to deal
with a dad who hits you. Why are you trying
to one aup opee?

Speaker 4 (17:37):
This is not an apology?

Speaker 2 (17:39):
What are we doing?

Speaker 4 (17:40):
Why why did you even come back?

Speaker 2 (17:41):
You're like, we were both bad to you, but you're
a terrible baby.

Speaker 4 (17:45):
You're you're a baby, and you fucked.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
You're a mean baby. I saw some of those side
eyes you were giving me.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
Yeah, one time you cried, and.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
I was like, oh, here we go again.

Speaker 3 (17:55):
I mean, just on and on and on, no apologies
or remorse, all these weird, passive aggressive excuses and explanations
about things I already know about. I wasn't exactly cold
to her, but I just have nothing to say about
these things. I just said, I know, so what do
you really want to say? What's going on? Then she
lashed out of me and said, nothing is going on.
I just wanted to talk to you about why things

(18:16):
were the way they were. Why do you always have
to be such an ahole about things?

Speaker 2 (18:19):
Uh? Oh, I guess it's because I'm still a bad baby. Wow.

Speaker 3 (18:24):
It was really frustrating, and we both hung up in
a bad mood. Later, she sent me an email getting
to the point, which was that she felt upset that
our brother and I had reconciled our past and how
badly he treated me. But I have no mind to
reconcile with her because you haven't apologized.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
Yeah, you called the pe up to blame her for
being a baby.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
If you want a relationship, apologize to her.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
Yeah. It's like he apologized very sincerely in heartfelt lee
after having his own family and realizing, oh my god,
I've made so many mistakes. I wish I could have
been better. And you called her and yelled at her
and called her a bad baby.

Speaker 3 (19:01):
She said she feels left out in outcasts from this
love fest, and she doesn't know why or what she
did wrong. In my anger, I impulsively wrote her an
email right back to say that she never even apologized
for how she acted, only gave excuses. Also, our brother
never ever hit me like she did or picked on me.
And also she never even tried to reach out to
me about these issues until just now when she felt

(19:21):
left out. Our brother has at least tried to be
nice to me since I was ten. She sent an
email back saying she doesn't have to apologize for supposedly
hitting me when I was younger, because she was disciplining
me and spanking me as a child, not a me
for no reason. Jesus Christ, get over yourself. You don't
know what I've been through, and now you refuse to
maintain a relationship with me to get revenge on.

Speaker 4 (19:39):
Me, to hurt me.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
Newsflash, you also hadn't called me in over a year.

Speaker 4 (19:43):
Really, really sad?

Speaker 2 (19:45):
Where are we at?

Speaker 3 (19:46):
This is so sad because, like clearly, this is a
woman who thinks everyone is out to get her because
she's been raised in that environment, and now she truly
doesn't understand why op he won't have a relationship with her,
Like she doesn't get it. I stop responding after that
because I was getting way too upset. She sent me
two more emails after that with similar ranting. I just

(20:07):
feel all over the place. On one hand, I feel
genuinely sorry that she's had such a hard life, and
I know she isn't an evil person. She's never been
expressive or affectionate. I know she carries a lot of
pain and hurt inside her. She did her best to
get through a difficult life. On the other hand, have
you On the other hand, I was like, I totally
understand what she went On the other hand.

Speaker 2 (20:29):
It absolutely not.

Speaker 3 (20:31):
Don't terrorize me for not accepting an apology you never gave,
never even took ownership for I can't count how many
times hair out of my head supposedly disciplining me or
attacked me. I've gotten tons of therapy and tried to
forgive her in my own way, But God, don't demand
that we become besties forever and then get mad that
I don't want to play along. It's not that I

(20:51):
intend to cut her out of my life, but I
should give this some space.

Speaker 2 (20:54):
Right.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
Should I let her know that just ghosts for a while.
Should I limit my social media photos? Should I try
to us this with my brother, or should I try
to sit down with her in person and talk it out?
And there are some comments I think, if you actually
want change here, maybe getting the brother to come with
you and having a conversation with your sister and saying, hey,
this didn't happen with nothing. You know, this happened because

(21:17):
like me and my brother, we're friends now because we
put in the work, and saying like I've been going
to therapy. I've been working through this. Yeah, I think
that is an option where you could have that in
person conversation. I do think a mediator. I think your
brother would probably be the most helpful because you guys
went through it together.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
But she might feel ganged up on. I do agree
with that. It was like that's the most relevant person.
Just the whole perspective she's approaching it from is just
so weird, where she's like she somehow heard about the
love fest and she's like, I don't understand why being
kept on the outside of it, Like it's like you
and your brother went to go get like ice cream
and didn't get her like a cone. It's like, that's
not what happened. This isn't like a product that we

(21:57):
went and bought somewhere. This is like a thing we
had to craft out of all the broken pieces of
our childhood in our trauma. And it literally took.

Speaker 4 (22:07):
Him having his own child until he just.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
Set out out.

Speaker 3 (22:10):
Yeah, so it's something that happened overnight.

Speaker 4 (22:12):
Yeah, but there's some comments.

Speaker 3 (22:14):
Comment one says, I would keep it to a script.
We can have a better relationship when you treat me better.
If she keeps pressing our brother has apologized and made
amends with me and treats me well. You can't blame
everything on what happened in the past. All you offer
are excuses and deflections. You should take responsibility for your
actions and behavior. Comment two says, I think that graduation
story is actually a nice parallel to this incident. It's

(22:35):
about being entitle Your sister does not care about you
or your brother or the substance of your reconciliation. She
just sees you and your brother as happy in loving
and so now she wants that too. She feels like
she should get to have it, even though she hasn't
earned it. So what she's doing is this, she sees
what she wants, and she knows vaguely about how you
guys achieved it, so now she's trying to initiate it
in order to fool you into giving her the reconciliation

(22:57):
you and your brother have. She's aping what she thinks
your brother did. I think the real catch here is that,
by the way you describe your sister, it doesn't sound
like she especially wants what comes with reconciliation, right. It
doesn't appear that she's desperate for a closer relationship with you,
or even a warmer one. I think it's just a
case of her seeing you and your brother being happy,
and so she feels like she should get whatever you

(23:18):
got to make you happy. It's like a kid that
sees another kid playing with a toy and instantly wants it. Yeah,
she's like, give it to me, Give to me, and
then she like has it.

Speaker 4 (23:26):
And she's like, I'm bored.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
Have you seen kids do that? Yeah, it's I it
makes me so upset. Could just be like, give me,
bye bye bye, give me and then they just have
it and they.

Speaker 4 (23:38):
Go, yeah, crying.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
About that thing. You just threw it all the way
across the room.

Speaker 3 (23:48):
That's being a child, But she doesn't really have an
excuse because she's not a child.

Speaker 2 (23:52):
But she's a fully grown adult.

Speaker 3 (23:55):
The other important thing is that you can't take reconciliation.
It absolutely has to be earned. It's abundantly clear that
that's what you'd be doing if you humor your sister's demands.
If you cave door, it'll just be two people pretending
to have reconciled.

Speaker 2 (24:09):
What good is that?

Speaker 3 (24:10):
I can see no benefit enforcing yourself to further engage
with this PS reconciliation attempt.

Speaker 4 (24:14):
And that is the end of that story. My brother
in law wants to invite his ex to my wedding.
They both have.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
New partners, so that sounds normal.

Speaker 4 (24:25):
My fiance and I have been together for ten years
and we finally decided to get married. I initially didn't
care for a big wedding, so we settled for a small,
private ceremony, which was great. After our ceremony last year,
my now husband told me that because he has a
big family, it was important for him to have a
large wedding reception. By the way, this comes from tradition No.
Thirty four to ninety six, and if you want to

(24:45):
submit your own stories, go to the slash the r
slash Okay storytime subreddit. So I agreed with him and
we began planning our reception, which is coming this May
twenty twenty five. It's so soon. I wanted to see
him happy, and he seemed very excited about it. We
received some money from both our families and we are
able to afford a larger wedding than we initially thought.
We made our guest list and sent out our invitations

(25:08):
and save the dates. We both assumed that my husband's
middle brother, who would be present. After he returned from
his six month long trip to their hometown, I heard
that his brother, my brother in law, had found a
new girl back in his country of birth, even though
he is currently married here in the States. I was
really happy for him because I know the story I

(25:28):
lived through it between him, between his wife and him.
To make things short, she took advantage of him by
faking a pregnancy and forcing him to marry her for citizenship. Okay, okay,
that makes a little more sense. He didn't want to
get married, but his family told him that he needed
to be responsible for their child. After their rushed and
hushed wedding ceremony, my brother in law left for his
six month vacation again to his country of birth or hometown.

(25:51):
She decided not to go with him because she was
working with a lawyer to get her citizenship and didn't
want a trip to ruin her chances. She was going
to wait for him. However, she was getting unexpected visitors
after he left. Later, we found out that she had
found another man, and when my mother in law confronted
her about it, she called her husband and told him
that it wasn't true. My brother in law called his

(26:12):
mom and yelled at her to not get involved in
his marriage. A few weeks later, she moved away, literally disappeared,
and when my mother in law asked about her, she
was told that she was living with another man and
had left her husband, but not even gotten divorced because
she still wanted her citizenship from him. We also found
out that she had lost the baby around that time,

(26:33):
and it's in quotes. That wasn't just me, So maybe
it was a fake. Maybe maybe a.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
Fake fingers crossed for fake, fingers crossed for fake because
that was in quotes.

Speaker 4 (26:43):
Yeah, my brother in law story happened around two years ago.
She is still living with that other man and my
brother in law has found a new girl back in
his country, but they are still married anyways. I respect
whatever his decision was because it's his life and he
does what he pleases with it. A few days ago,
my hu told me that his brother, my brother in law,
was going to bring his plus one to our wedding.

(27:04):
I thought he couldn't bring his new girl because she's
outside of the country, but I never thought that he
would bring his actual wife. My husband told me that
he invited her and she said yes, which I absolutely
do not want her being at my wedding. Bear with me,
I have my reasons. Reason number one, my mother in
law cried to me for advice to her son to
help her son get out of the deep depression that

(27:27):
he went into after his wife left him for another man.
I couldn't do much because he left back to his
hometown soon after that conversation, but it broke my heart
to see her suffer like that for her son. Reason
number two. When my husband and I were dating, my
brother in law's wife would knock on my husband's bedroom
door to give him his favorite candy or tell him
that she made him his favorite dish. I didn't like that,

(27:48):
but I said, it's all right as long as I'm
there too. I don't want to be a crazy witch.
Reason number three. I in her search for a sponsor
for her citizenship paperwork, she asked my husband to spot her,
not even asking me about it, which I absolutely said
no to. My husband saw nothing wrong with that request,
but I knew her intentions were not good with my
brother in law or anyone in this family. I knew

(28:11):
that she only wanted my brother in law for papers.
Reason number four, she has a man already and she's
happy with him. My brother in law has his girl
too and seems to be happy with her, So what
that is she doing there anymore? If they were getting
back together and trying to fix their marriage, I would
be the first one to invite her to my wedding
in support of my brother in law. But they are

(28:33):
not getting back together. Reason number five.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
I don't like her energy.

Speaker 4 (28:37):
She can come any other time on my birthday, on Christmas,
on any other party, but not my wedding day. I'm
afraid everyone will ask my brother in law about her
because no one else knows about their marriage, and I'm
sure I can almost predict that there will be a
huge drama because her because of her presence there, which
I do not want on my wedding day. I talked

(28:58):
to my husband about it. He said that she is
my brother in law's wife after all, and he can
bring his plus one. It breaks my heart that none
of them think of my mother in law's feelings and
pain or my wishes. I don't know if this matters,
but she's absolutely gorgeous, which I think is why my
brother in law wants to bring her that day to
show her off to everyone in that family. I'm also

(29:19):
upset at my brother in law for not respecting his
new relationship and stepping away completely or getting a divorce.
I don't even think that he has told his new
girl that he's married, and I'm sure that she won't
be happy if she finds out that he is not
only married, but continues to see his wife and will
bring her to a very special day of his brother.
I talked to my brother in law and told him

(29:39):
that if he brings her on my wedding day, he
is banned from attending our wedding. If he decides to
show up with her anyway, I will leave the party
as the bride do.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
Walking out of your own wedding is such a power move,
that's crazy.

Speaker 4 (29:51):
I'm asking for the same respect that I have shown them.
I've never stepped on them when they decided to get
married or intervened in any of their decisions as a couple.
I feel that my wishes for my wedding should be
respected as well. So am I the a hole? And
we do have an update? But what's your answer?

Speaker 2 (30:07):
No, you're not the a hole? No, absolutely not. Yeah,
you don't want your wedding, and you're like, I know
this is gonna be bad. Why are we doing this? Sure,
you're gonna have a plus one just like not that
one anyone else on earth besides the one person that's
gonna take all the attention away. And I bet you
there will be some drama, because there's no way there's
not gonna be. This is weird.

Speaker 4 (30:27):
But we do have an update. So first of all,
thank you all for your amazing advice. From perspective, You're right,
I definitely have to consider my hobby say on this matter.
To be fair, he and I have been on the
same page when it comes to who we are inviting
to our wedding and avoiding drama people, even if that
is a family member close to either of us. For example,

(30:47):
I told him to invite his karate buddy, who I
think is a weird guy but very sweet and nice.
I like his vibe. He invited him, but when he
didn't seem to care for the wedding at all, my
Hobby decided to uninvite him. I support him on that.
It's his friend, it's his wedding too, and I want
him to feel comfortable. On another occasion, one of his
cousins made a comment about being happy if we canceled

(31:08):
the wedding because it seems like Huppy is doing it
for the show and I'm doing it for love, and
he can tell that we are not going to have
a good time. So the cousin supported that we cancel it.
When my Hobby found out about his comment, he got
so so upset that he decided to uninvite him, as you.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
Should make you should when people were saying that.

Speaker 4 (31:28):
Again, I told him I supported him in his decision
if that's what he wanted. It's our wedding and the
happiness of both of us matters more than anything else.
He and I also agreed on not inviting friends of
mine who might get really wasted and cause drama that day.
Like I said, we have been on the same page
so far. When it comes to brother in law's wife,
I know my Hobby likes her a lot. She is
a sweet girl to him, and to be honest, she

(31:49):
had not done anything to me either, But I feel
so personally attacked by the way that she broke my
brother in law. My brother in law cried a lot,
He locked up in his room and wouldn't eat, go
out or do anything else but try to come to
terms with what she did to him. I saw him
suffer too, and I think that I'm taking it too personally.

(32:09):
It's hard to see someone we care about get hurt,
and maybe that's my biggest reason why I cannot stand
her anymore. And we do have another big update. What's
what's going on?

Speaker 2 (32:21):
So really it's reading now like brother in law is
just a sweetie pie, yeah, and yeah, is being manipulated
by this woman to get papers and stuff, which would
make sense. Why it was like, well, we came to
the agreement that it would make sense to stay married
for her immigration process.

Speaker 4 (32:38):
It's like right, But anyway, onto the update, Hobby talked
to brother in law about not bringing his wife. Brother
in law told him to tell me to take it easy.
Your wedding doesn't have to be perfect.

Speaker 2 (32:52):
I kind of I like that perspective, not in like
a take it easy way, but in just like a hey,
you gotta be ready. It's not going to be a
perfect day. Realistic. Something's gonna end up going wrong and
we have to like move through that.

Speaker 4 (33:04):
No exactly sure what he meant to say by that.
Hubby talking to brother in law caused brother in law
to ask his wife to contact me and ask me herself.
I received a message today from the wife. FYI. She
had blocked me when she moved away with her new
guy and we lost contact. She said, Hi, I hope
you're doing well. I just found out through brother in

(33:26):
law that you two are getting married. Congratulations. Brother in
law has been pushing me to attend your wedding. I
am really excited for your wedding and I will be
there to celebrate it. Thank you, I replied, Hi is
sister in law. I hope you were doing well too,
and thank you for reaching out. I really don't want
you to attend my wedding.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
Just right off the gate. Yeah, be super honest, let's go.
I like this. I like that I.

Speaker 4 (33:49):
Have nothing against you, and I respect your decision and
the way that you handled the breakup, although I do
not agree with it.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
You do you.

Speaker 4 (33:56):
However, Hubby and I have been avoiding drama people on
our wedding day, and I believe that since brother in
law and you are no longer together, he has a
new relationship and you do too, there is going to
be drama due to your presence. I really want my
wedding day to be a happy celebration of our love
and not get spoiled by drama of any kind. You
are welcome any other day, but please not on my wedding.

(34:16):
I hope you understand and respect my decision, very honest,
very upfront. It's hard because that it can be seen
as rude, but she's already no contact with her.

Speaker 2 (34:26):
Yeah, it's more interesting being straight up. It's like it's
maybe it's cold water, but it's like it'd be more
rude to like invite her to the wedding and then
like just try to like keep her on the outside
the whole time. You just be like honest, like I
actually don't want you to come right right.

Speaker 4 (34:39):
Thank you for being honest with me. I completely understand
and I respect that it's your wedding day and you
decide who goes there. I don't want to cause any problems.
I just wanted to be respectful and reach out to
you first. I know things haven't been easy between you
and me, but I hope someday we can make peace
and move on. I wish you guys the best. Took
it amazingly well. That was I was not a expecting

(35:00):
it to be taken that well. I replied, thank you
for understanding, and thank you again for reaching out. I
wish you well too, take care well. I was happy
that she understood and agreed with me. However, brother in
law insists that she is his wife and he has
a plus one, and since he is the brother of
the group, he needs to be there and not be
denied attendance. Hubby got upset about it and told him

(35:21):
that it's our day and we decide what we want
for it. We don't want drama, period. They got into
a heated argument about it, and now I feel responsible
because he banned his own brother from going to the wedding.
And by the way, we will never ban you from
going to iHeartRadio, Spotify or Apple podcasts and searching okay,
story time because you know what you're gonna find there.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
Full episodes with stories just like this.

Speaker 4 (35:45):
Oh yeah, but there is a little bit more so.
Hubby's words to brother in law, you cannot just come
in out of nowhere and demand that your happiness gets
priority in our wedding. Bride and I decide to not
have drama that day. So unless you two are getting
back together for good, she is not welcome, and if
you insist on bringing her, even against our will, you
don't have to go stay home. We did it all

(36:07):
without your help and your presence, and we will be
just fine without you. Okay, it seems a little harsh,
but I mean message received. Yeah, the last part we
did it all without your help is pretty uh yeah,
it's more like a little harsh there.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
Op.

Speaker 4 (36:22):
He just finishes it out by saying, I feel like crap,
and now I feel like the a whole. But I
don't think you're the a hole. I mean, obviously the
wife took it super well. That's really the only person
that should be like, uh, just offended by her not
being divided. If anyone's going to be offended, Yeah, like
this brother in law should not be. So, I don't know,

(36:44):
very weird, very weird situations. I don't think Op is
a hole.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
No, no, no, no at all. You did that perfectly,
I think, yeah, yeah, he dealt with that perfectly.

Speaker 4 (36:55):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Hey it's Sam, your og host. Here. We're gonna get
back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads
from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (37:03):
My sister in law's family trashed our house and they
won't leave.

Speaker 4 (37:08):
We'll get out of here, don't you. No, you can't
leave trash.

Speaker 3 (37:13):
My wife and I are empty nesters living in a
good sized, four bedroom house. Our daughters are in their
late twenties and moved out years ago. We talked about downsizing,
but never seriously did anything about it. By the way,
this comes from farmer John two and if you want
to smit your own stories, go to our slash Okay
storytime supparate it. So early this summer, my brother in

(37:34):
law was fired from his fairly good paying job and
was denied unemployment from his employer for some type of
unethical actions. I don't really know what he did, just
that he and a couple of others did something shady.
Their credit is terrible, a bankruptcy in the past, and
they really never lived within their means. They have two boys,
eight and thirteen, and two good sized dogs, so their

(37:55):
little house was very cramped. They wanted a larger house,
but couldn't get a loan and had no money for
a down payment. Somehow they convinced his parents to allow
them to build a larger, related living style house around
the parents' small ranch house, and he's been building it
for the past year or two. As time and money allow.
Now they have a half finished huge house they can't

(38:17):
move into and have to put their current small home
up for sale to finance finishing the construction on the
new place. To make matters worse, their current house is
actually owned by my wife's brother, who bought the house
from them so they would not lose it when they
went bankrupt. They had been paying him the mortgage and
promised to let them have any profit from the sale.

(38:38):
I feel like, if you just went break bankrupt and
like you don't have a good job anymore, maybe don't
start building a huge house. My wife asked me back
in June if they could move in with us until
the house was completed so they could fix up their
current tiny house for sale. I balked at first, since
we already have one large dog and didn't like the

(38:58):
idea of having three dogs, two kids, and four adults
living in my house for an undetermined amount of time
that is crowded. Yeah, my wife talked me into letting
them move in since we have three empty bedrooms, and
we've regretted it ever since. It started off not too badly,
but now it's been four months and my brother in

(39:20):
law is no closer to getting a new job and
is only interested in finding another management job, even though
I'm sure his previous employer is.

Speaker 4 (39:27):
Bad mouthing him.

Speaker 3 (39:28):
He currently does side jobs for another of my wife's brothers,
who does construction, demos, citing jobs, et cetera. My sister
in law works part time as a doctor's office receptionist
and makes probably just above minimum wage. All her money
goes towards food and gas for their cars. We don't
charge them any rent, hoping they can put the money

(39:49):
towards finishing the new house construction. The crap hit the fan,
so to speak, when they would not pick up their
dogs crap from our backyard so I could mow the lawn.
I offered to pay my thirteen year old nephew twenty
dollars a week to mob lawn, but he didn't want
to do this because it would interrupt his video game playing.
When I saw my wife picking up the dog crap

(40:10):
while her sister was getting ready to leave the house,
I exploded. I told her that if she couldn't pick
up after her dog's then the dogs would have to
be sent somewhere else. She got upset and replied that
she had no place else to send the dogs. That's
not the point. Just pick up after them.

Speaker 4 (40:27):
Yeah, it's a very easy fit. That's a crazy.

Speaker 3 (40:29):
Response to someone being like, if you can't pick up
her after your dogs, we're gonna have to send them away.
And she's like, I don't have anyone to send them.

Speaker 4 (40:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (40:35):
The answer is okay, I'll pick up after my dog
exactly like you know what you gotta do. Then one
of the dogs is black, and the house now not
only smells like a kennel, but there is black dog
hair all over the floor. Is that she won't vacuum
up unless my wife tells her to. My sister in
law and her husband then decided to take his mother's
offer of a loan against her retirement money to help

(40:56):
finance finishing the house so she wouldn't have to live
with that's mean people. Now four months later, they're still here.
She no longer really talks to me in the house,
comes home from work and goes straight upstairs to her
bedroom to watch television. I guess I'm the bad guy.
Her eight year old son is left with my wife
and me when they come home, while his mother is

(41:18):
upstairs in her room. Our family room now is toys
scattered all around and has two bins of legos and
action figures for his amusement. His mother doesn't clean up
after him, and doesn't tell him to clean up after himself,
and leaves the job, putting him to bed at night
to her unemployed husband. I mean, really quick, like the
fact that the unemployed husband is not, you know, doing

(41:39):
a bunch of housework to make up for living in
this house for free and not contributing at all financially.
Like he should be taking care of his kid. He
should be picking up a dog poop, He should be
helping around the house. What are you doing, dude, great
question I want to know. I'm a big fan of
HBO original TV series, which of course are not fit
for kids to watch. My nephew also doesn't really have

(42:01):
a bedtime either, and I have to tell them to
leave the family room sometime between nine and ten PM
so I can finally get around to watching some adult
content before going to bed. I honestly don't think they
realize what a crabstorm they leave in their path, but
just expect everybody to help them out. She's the baby
of the family, and my wife said she has always

(42:22):
been this way. I guess what I'm looking for is
some outside perspective. How do I get rid of them?
Am I being too hard on them? This is affecting
my relationship with my wife because she feels like she's
the only person in the house taking care of the
place while I'm at work. Any suggestions help? And there
is an update, But do you have any thoughts or suggestions?

Speaker 4 (42:44):
Maybe maybe we need to have a family meeting because
it's not just them. Yeah, Like we've talked about how
it's the dad too.

Speaker 3 (42:52):
I think I think you're right with like the have
a conversation, have that family meeting and say these are
the rules. We need you out by this date. Yeah,
we need to see you actually, you know, trying to
get a job. I don't care where you get a job. Yeah,
just get something something.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (43:07):
Because it's also again like I wanted to be a
family meeting because apparently too this husband isn't really stepping
up and doing enough either. Nothing. So I think everyone
needs to be on the same page. Yeah, And boundaries
need to be put in place and everyone needs to
be there to hear it. Yep, get a secretary, someone
can write this stuff down, you know.

Speaker 3 (43:27):
Yeah, I think I honestly, I think you and maybe
you have another meeting with just the parents and you say, hey,
your son, you know, someone needs to pick up the poop.
And either I'll pay your son twenty bucks or I'll
pay him nothing and he still has to do it.

Speaker 4 (43:42):
Yeah, So like get him on the same page.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (43:44):
Yeah, But let's get into the update.

Speaker 3 (43:46):
Well, it all finally came to a head about a
week after my previous post. On Saturday, when I went
to mower lawn, my wife asked my sister in law
to pick up the dog poop. Sister in law stated
texted my wife back and stated that she picked up
about half a grocery size bag and told my wife
that she should get the rest.

Speaker 4 (44:04):
Well, it's your dogs.

Speaker 3 (44:06):
She's like, I picked up two pieces, why do I have.

Speaker 4 (44:10):
To do the whole thing? Also, if it's really like
half a grocery besides that mul well, I'm thinking that's
a lot.

Speaker 3 (44:17):
I mean, if it's building up, it seems like it's
probably building up because she's not doing it right.

Speaker 4 (44:22):
No exactly. So it's just like, girl, you can't you
can't be doing that. Fill it up, Dan, fill up?

Speaker 3 (44:29):
My wife phone my brother in law and explained that
we had enough, it was getting too hard to have
three dogs in the house, and to make plans to
move the dogs elsewhere. We were on our way to
meet my daughter and son in law at a restaurant
about an hour from home. They had just announced they
were expecting their first child, our first grandchild. Okay, five

(44:50):
minutes later, my sister in law calls my wife back,
asking what the problem was, et cetera, and they get
into an argument about what was going wrong. It ends
with my sister in law telling my wife that if
that was the way we're going to be, she was
moving her family out of the house as well.

Speaker 4 (45:05):
Oh no, no, don't. That's not what we wanted. That's
exactly what we wanted, right, come back please.

Speaker 3 (45:13):
She then texted my wife that living in our house,
she came to believe that she didn't like the way
I treated my wife and she noticed it, but that
my wife was too blind to my treatment of her.
Now this upset me even more. I was roue with
my sister in law. When we got home from our
dinner out, the dogs were gone, and so were they.

(45:35):
My wife was upset, but we were both believed they
were gone, finally some peace and quiet in the house.
They ended up taking their two dogs to my brother
in law's parents' house, where they were constructing their new home. Now,
my brother in law lives at his parents' house with
the dogs and the oldest teenage son. My sister in
law at first moved into her parents' two bedroom townhouse

(45:56):
with her youngest son and traveled between the two locations.
So now they have spread their inconvenience to both their
elderly parents and their kids, just because my sister in
law was too proud and lazy to pick up after
herself and her dogs well in my house. My wife
asked her why this was better than just keeping the

(46:16):
dogs at one of the other houses while keeping her
family together at our house and not spread their troubles
to two other households.

Speaker 4 (46:23):
But she didn't have an answer. I think it's just pride.
I think she's just like you can't tell me what
to doubt for sure.

Speaker 2 (46:30):
Sure.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
Now, in the meantime, they have finally sold their old
house and my brother in law has finally got a
full time, regular job. Most of their junk is still
in our house. My wife moved most of it to
one bedroom, and they are in no hurry to move
their things out yet. Construction on their new place is
still going on. No idea when it will be completed yet.

(46:53):
Thanksgiving dinner at my mother in law's house was very
uncomfortable with my sister in law and brother in law
there with their kids and both sets of parents. I
have nothing to do with my sister in law now,
nor do I want to, since she stuck her nose
in my relationship with my wife with her comments to
my wife about me. By the way, I've got some
comments for you.

Speaker 4 (47:13):
What is that, Sofia?

Speaker 3 (47:14):
And one is that you can listen to full episodes
of stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
or iHeartRadio and search up. Okay, story time, there's a
little bit left to this story, but do you any
final thoughts, try to check itself out.

Speaker 4 (47:28):
Yeah, they were like, all right, we're out here.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
It's like, oh yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 (47:34):
Because that's the thing with these boundaries, right, It's like,
can you talk about them? They either follow them or
they don't.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (47:41):
It's like it's not even like you guys were kicking
them out. You didn't just say get out of the house.
You say, pick up the poop or leave, and they
chose to leave instead of picking up the poop.

Speaker 4 (47:51):
Like, so whatever, you know, at least you don't have
to deal with it anymore.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
Yeah, you got your house back to yourself and they
can go live. I where over they're living. My wife's
parents are trying to stay above it and not pick sides,
but it's wearing on them. My wife and her sister
do still talk to each other now, but the relationship
is now very cool. It was tough, but at least
we have our house back and we're now trying to
get it back into shape after our visitors left. I'm

(48:19):
very happy, but I know my wife is still hurt
and things are uncomfortable with her family. And that is
the end of the story.

Speaker 4 (48:27):
All right, Wow, they you're dealing with it as much
as you can, honestly. Yeah, people like that. You can't
control them. No, they're just gonna do whatever they want. Yeah,
so you just have to set your own boundaries exactly
exactly and follow through on them what you did well
on you.

Speaker 2 (48:44):
Oh yeah, hey, it's johnio Og host here. We're gonna
get back to the stories. But he's a quick three
minute break of ass from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (48:52):
My in laws think I can't provide for my wife.
It's straining our marriage. Where to begin? This has been
a problem for a little over a year now. My wife,
let's call her Sarah, and I have been married for
roughly a year and a half at this point, together
before that for four years, and are expecting our first
child soon. Congradulation too. By the way, this comes from

(49:16):
deleted and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay story time step breddit.
So marriage has been a blast so far. We seemed
to get along just fine. Spicy sleep was great, quality
of life was good, besides the small stresses with the baby,
shower planning and room decoration for our first child. Typical
honeymooner mindset, right, Well, it's great until it comes to

(49:36):
her parents. I'm going to start where this problem first
weird its head, which would be a few short months
before our wedding. Up until then, I never had an
issue with Sarah's parents. We both lived at home at
the time and never had trouble going back and forth
between each other's houses and or staying there a few
nights leading up to everything. Of course, trying to be responsible.
I figured it was time to start looking for a

(49:57):
place to live, whether it was an apartment house, condo,
or whatever. Her parents made the offer that if needed,
we could live with them, which at the same time
was a nice offer, But I was always raised to
be independent and had also heard enough horror stories about
living with in laws that I figured it would be
best to deny smart smart, very smart. If you are

(50:18):
on our page for long, yeah, it's a lot, I
don't think calls yeah yeah. I did so politely and
everything seemed well, or so, I thought. To keep things short,
I'll just give some bullet points about what happened leading
up to our wedding. Her mother always complained about her
wedding day, saying that it was in shambles and nothing
went right. This led to her trying to redo her

(50:40):
wedding with hours. My mother gets the idea after I
talked to her one night. She proceeds to mention something.
At their next meeting at the venue Sarah chose. Pissing
match ensues. Sarah calls me at work upset both are
in the wrong. I talked to my mom, tell her
thanks for standing up for me. But from now on
they won't be together for decorating. Mom takes it that

(51:01):
I'm telling her to bow down and resents me. Sarah
talks to her mom to this day. Don't know if
that really ever happened. I get left out of cake
tastings and other activities I wanted to do with her.
Work wasn't an issue. I was focused mainly on trying
to find a place. I find a nice apartment, get
first in line, get the application filled out, give it

(51:23):
to Sarah to finish, and turn in. Application was never
turned in. Turns out her mother took it filed in
our income to be over the limit, and if I
had turned it in, it would have been a waste
of time had I not caught the error or intended mistake.

Speaker 2 (51:40):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (51:41):
Never get a straight answer for this either. Wow, So
just sabotage. A lot of sabotage in going on my sabature. Sure,
so we find a place yay. Proceed to tell my
mom and Sarah about it. Sarah is excited and supposed
to tell her mom. Wedding shower comes, My mom makes
me of the place. Her mom causes a fuss and

(52:03):
ruins the shower. We decide from then on that family
events are to be separate. Also, I don't know exactly
what happened here and never got a straight answer once again,
but from what I pieced it. From what I pieced together,
my mom said it in a spiteful way, which pissed
her mom off. The rehearsal comes. Her mother brought a
wedding planner. Wait where was this lady the whole time

(52:24):
that Sarah needed help, She brought the wedding planner to
plan the aisle walk and standing positions. I politely say
I got most of it worked out, but needed help
with a few things. Lady is excited, loves what I've
worked out. Her mother gets pissed, cries and yells at me,
you should have told me this before the last day minute.
I already told her this three months prior, if not

(52:46):
more so. The wedding goes down. First part goes great.
Ten out of ten would do it again. Reception not
so much. Sarah's mother forgot to lay out coasters that
she designed, turns around and throws a fit that they
more than the dang invitations which I paid for and designed.
My mom tries to be nice, tells her that it's okay.

(53:09):
Her mother proceeds to scream to stop cussing at her,
So the pissing match number three ensues between both of
our families. Sarah and I change and slip out the
back door after she's said After she says bye to
her family. Now the honeymoon nine out of ten. Last day,
her mom calls and acts like her father is hurt.
Sarah gets upset, returns the calls. We were out at

(53:31):
the time. Father in law is a okay. It turns
out that my mother sent a Facebook message to her
about how rude she was at the wedding and that
they will not speak to each other anymore. This causes
me and Sarah to fight. It ruins the night, and
then we go home. That's just half of it, you guys.
Oh just half, just half, that's a whole lot of things.

(53:52):
Oh my goodness. Luckily things calmed down for a few
moments after the wedding. We moved into our new place.
As soon as we got back, we settled in, and
then just a short year later, get a surprise. Her
family is excited. My family is excited. We stick to
our pupews, plan out baby showers separate for each side

(54:14):
of the family. Things go well, then Sarah gets sicked.
The main point here is just a hospital visit that
we encountered. The first visit happened under my nose. Sarah
didn't want me to get upset, but in turn it
did cause me to get pissed because she didn't tell
me that she was being rushed to the er. The
baby was fine, she was just super sick. The second

(54:36):
visit went to h E Double hockey Sticks. While Sarah
is on medication, her mom proceeds to go off on
me that I caused all this, that I knocked up
her daughter, and then it was my fault. I asked
her what she thought was going to happen. We were married,
having spicy sleep, it was bound to happen. This pissed

(54:57):
her mom off. I kissed Sarah and proceed to leave.
Turns out her mom had a reputation with the er
staff there and could be heard screaming outside. Two nurses
ask me if I'm okay. I tell them it's cool.
Stress levels are high and she's just worried about her daughter.
What happened next is where I lost respect for her father.
I went into the waiting room told him that I

(55:19):
had to leave because of work in the morning. It
was two am at the time, and he asks how
she's doing. I give him an update. She's cool, keeping
fluids down, et cetera, et cetera. I do what I
thought was the right thing and give him a heads
up that the wife is pissed. But then he questions me.
I tell him what happened, and he proceeds to tell me, oh, well,
she just gets like that. What the heck? She just

(55:42):
gets like that. Something is seriously wrong here. Dude, do
you mean she just gets like that. I hate when
that's someone's explanation for everything. She's just like that. Come on, guys,
we gotta do something here, Gotta do something. Her dad
seems to be a pushover. I lose all respect for
him and go home. Maybe I'm wrong to just drop
respect like that, but dude, seriously, if you can't stand

(56:04):
up to your own wife when she's on a tirade,
then something is wrong. I always thought that he was
just laid back, but now I realized that he just
tunes his wife out so that he doesn't have to
deal with it. So the pregnancy goes on, no more sickness,
But it seems like her parents are now trying to
get her to move closer to their house. Mom shows
up uninvited at random times, and I've got several texts

(56:25):
between her and her dad about places to rent. So
here are the main points again. My drawers broke a
few weeks back. Her dad and brother had come over
that day to drop off two nights stands for our
bedroom that her aunt had offered due to them moving
to somewhere small. So we accept it. They move them in.
Notice my dresser broke. I played off, it just needs

(56:46):
a new screw, an old one stripped. I was just
gonna fix it that night, and I did. The next day,
her mother shows up with a new five hundred dollars
set of drawers for her daughter.

Speaker 3 (56:58):
Yeah, they're trying to show off that. They're like, see,
we can provide for our daughter. Yeah, you can't provide
for you have a broken dresser. This is the day
after my birthday. We're both not decent, and my mother
didn't call ahead.

Speaker 4 (57:11):
She just showed up. I answered the door, explained that
it was my set, and she gets pissy. Her brother
tells her, I told you it wasn't Sarah's set, and
they leave to return the set. Last night, her father
texted her. I noticed the phone light up. Sarah was
cooking dinner, so I looked down and saw that it
was her dad. But I also saw the message. It said,

(57:31):
there's a house to rent on X Road. Would you
be interested?

Speaker 2 (57:36):
Now?

Speaker 4 (57:36):
What the egg? I worked my butt off to get
the place that we are at now and continue to
do so that way we live there. Where was his
help a year and a half ago when we actually
needed it. I didn't tell her I saw it, just
that her dad texted. I haven't looked yet to see
her response. Kinda don't want to. Doesn't matter what she said.
Just the thought that he would overstep me and try

(57:57):
to offer a place closer to them just irks me.
Maybe I'm crazy, but I don't know what to do.
I know her family is really tight knit, almost scary wise.
My family is close, but we are all so independent.
We drift and do our own thing most of the time.
She never seems to have time for herself. She might
stay at home one day a week. The rest is

(58:18):
spent with her mother running about and doing whatever. She
doesn't ever tell me that she is going out. I
find out most of the time through Facebook. Posts from
her cousins and the other family that she sees during
the week. Then I try to give her the chance
to tell me what's up, and it's always as simple.
I just hung out with my mom when she went
and saw half of her family. Interesting, It's like, why

(58:40):
would you lie about that? Yeah, that's really weird. Her
mom buys her so much crap it's not even funny.
I find snacks from Target and Walmart all the time,
where she goes and buys Sarah medicine and house supplies
that we can't afford. It makes me feel like they
don't think I can provide at all, or that we
are so poor that we can't buy anything, which isn't
the case. For sure. I don't mind her going out,

(59:02):
but it's gotten to the point where the house is
almost never cleaned and spicy sleep has become less and less.
She's constantly tired, and I know being pregnant doesn't help.
The sink looks like crap, the house hasn't been dusted
and god knows how long, And if she does decide
to clean, it's uh, half half budded, barely wiped down,
and just a bit of laundry done. Wait, why can't

(59:25):
OPI do any of this? Oh, I don't know. I
think he's working. Yeah, but he's not working all the time.

Speaker 3 (59:32):
It feels like, I mean, half of it is probably
the amount of time she's spending with her mom. But yeah,
a lot of this could be you know, she's tired
from pregnancy and she doesn't have the same ability to
clean all the house. Maybe, yeah, it's very possible. No,
but I think either way, communication.

Speaker 4 (59:52):
Yeah, communication is always important. And you know what else
is important us us checking us out on Spotify, Apple
or iHeart Radio and cerchi okay story Time because you
know it's there full episodes and more stories just like
this one. So yeah, check us out. But there's a
little bit more to the story. But yeah, what how

(01:00:12):
do we think? What would you say if we're talking communication?
What would you say?

Speaker 5 (01:00:17):
As op Okay, I would say, Hey, Girley girl, Hey girl,
noticed you've been spending a lot of time with your
mom and like doing a lot of stuff for her,
Like I feel like we haven't been able to spend
a lot of time together as partners.

Speaker 4 (01:00:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
Uh, And I think like maybe maybe you know, I
would love to have a conversation with you about your parents'
boundaries because it feels like they're I feel like they're
overstepping mine. Yeah, And I want to talk to you
about how you feel about that, and maybe we can
kind of find a middle ground where you obviously are
not gonna stop seeing them, but see them less.

Speaker 4 (01:00:57):
Right and maybe community just like asking how how the
wife feels with all this, how she feels being pregnant
with all this too big?

Speaker 3 (01:01:06):
Yeah, and saying like, hey, do you need help with
the cleaning stuff?

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:01:10):
You know, like I've noticed, I feel like it's like
kind of uh been harder for you. Do we need
to like, if they have the money, do we need
to hire someone to come? Like right, every couple weeks?
But there is a little bit more to this story.

Speaker 4 (01:01:25):
So I've been having to spend the weekends cleaning, which
I don't mind, but when I'm the only one working,
I expect her to keep up the house a little
bit when she can. Okay, there we go. That's almost
impossible to do, though, when she's constantly with her mother.
I don't know what to say to her. I've tried
talking to her about it, but it just gets swept
under the rug until I finally can't take it anymore,

(01:01:45):
and then we get in a huge fight and there
is a little edits. Thanks guys for a lot of
good points. I plan on getting a game plan together
for the rest of the day at work. Uh. Work
should help me ease my mind a bit, but I'm
sure i'll just get antsy again here soon. I'll check
out those groups and subs when I get home. I
think I may take tonight to get everything together for
a talk, though I don't know yet. And that is

(01:02:08):
the end of that story. And then you freaking have it, brother, there.

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
You have it.

Speaker 4 (01:02:11):
So, yeah, you did talk, and it seems like you know,
things didn't really happen exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
I haven't had an effective conversation. Yeah, so hopefully they're
able to have one of those suit Yeah a sap, yes,
they say,

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My sister is already pushing my LIMITS… now she wants to bring her children! | Reddit Stories | EP2167