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00:00 r/BestofRedditorUpdates - I [22F] just found out my late half-sister [40F] is still alive
14:43 r/okstorytime - I found my half-brother but have lost him again
30:02 r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC - WIBTA for cutting off my dad and stepmum
42:35 r/BORUpdates - AITA for “ruining my cousin’s life” by existing, being pregnant, and allegedly stealing her baby name?
Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated
#reddit #funnyredditposts
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og Okay Storytime
podcast hosts.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
We have some great stories coming up.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
But before that, we have a quick two minute break
from the sponsors that keep.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
The show alive.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
My sister passed away years ago, but now she's sending
me a follow.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Request from beyond the grave.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I'm flipping out, you guys.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
My sister forty female and I twenty two female, hadn't
been close at all given the age difference, the fact
that she lived across the country, and the parent that
we share was horrifically awful towards me. Still, when she
was diagnosed with twenty thirteen, I helped by sending her
some money here and there. By the way, this comes
from user home Skilly Biscuit, and if you want to
(00:40):
submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay
storytime subreddit.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I'm Dakota, I'm.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Keon, I'm Carly, and we already give.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Good advice Goofily, but we don't have all the answers.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
We're only human.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
We only know what we would do in any given situation.
So if you would do something different, let us know
in the comments. As Op says, she ended up getting
a lot worse, and when I dropped out of college
for unrelated reasons, I worked several jobs so I could
help her out a lot more financially. I got the
news that she passed away summer of twenty sixteen and
was invited to attend the service, although I couldn't because
(01:16):
I was I was not able to get off of work.
Fast forward to today, when I get a request from
her social media account and looking through her posts, she's
not only alive, but way better off than I am.
I'm glad she's not passed away, but what I haven't
said anything to her because I'm not sure a how
to confront her about it and be what I even want. First,
(01:39):
I'm immediately suspecting this is a hacked account that is
now being used for you know, spam or for scamming.
I don't think I want to have a relationship with
my sister given what went down. But mostly my mind
is reeling and I'm trying to make sense of it.
Any advice and we have some relevant comments. Fields of
(02:00):
Lavender says, who told you the news that she had
passed away? Was it possible someone told you without her knowledge?
Opie says her husband called to tell me. Fields of
Lavender also responds, did your half sister know that her
husband did this?
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Opie says, no idea.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
I haven't worked up the courage to talk to her yet.
Nami Mimi says, working on the assumption this isn't some
kind of phishing scam from someone out for some profit
from you. You mentioned that the parent you share was
harmful to you both. Can I ask are they still
in the picture? Would it be possible that this passing
(02:36):
if it isn't some bizarre fake set up by the
husband without your sister's knowledge, hasn't got more to do
with her relationship with this parent than anything else. If
the parent in question is still alive and the sister
was involved in this passing away scenario, then be wary.
She may have legit reasons for pretending to be passed away,
(02:58):
but it's.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
An extreme reaction.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
More likely it would be to shake some responsibilities or
debts or similar. If there is a benign reason for
this scenario, it may be she's reaching out because you
had tried to help and she has feelings about this.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
None of this is on you.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
This is a lot to process, Opie says, well, her
latest pictures have been this Christmas with said parent and
his new family, as well as her husband. They look
like real recent pictures and everyone looks happy, and the
account has been active throughout the time she was supposedly
passed away until now, so I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
The bloody Menace replies.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
When your sister was ill, did you speak to her
on the phone or FaceTime? If all communication was done
on Facebook or online during this time, I'd suggest that
someone was catfishing you, as this was the time they
were requesting money. Also, did you send the money to
her actual bank account or just wire it? That is
a good point because remember op has actually been sending
(03:55):
money the whole time, which I.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Forgot that little detail.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Opie has been constantly sending money to their sister because
they were sick.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Or was she right?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Or was it the sister? Was it maybe the mother?
Was it somebody else pretending to be your sister?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Let's continue. Is there a mutual family member you can talk.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
To about this? This is such a big shock and
you'll obviously be very betrayed and confused.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
You need some support.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Sorry this happened to you, Opie says, Thanks, I've gotten
a lot of insight from people's comments, but I'm still
just baffled. I was pretty removed from that side of
the family. She and I spoke to each other occasionally,
but when she told me about the cancer, we got
a lot closer and would skype pretty often until her
health went downhill, but even then we would still talk
(04:42):
on the phone. Winnowing Wins says. My only thought is
that if her husband lied about it, wouldn't she have
reached out to the family members and friends who presumably
attended the funeral to ask why she hadn't heard from them.
Unless she was no contact with most of her family,
and if she was in on the it seems odd
of me that she just pop back up on social media.
(05:04):
I mean, if you were really the only person or
one of a very few people who could have been
duped in such a way by her husband, it's possible
that's what happened. Otherwise, I think it's a hacked account
because I have a hard time believing someone would fake
their own passing and re add their sister unless it's
a cry for help or she has memory loss of
some sort and there's an edit to add. Actually, something
(05:25):
has occurred to me sometimes if you go through ad
former email contacts, it's actually easy to accidentally request people.
LinkedIn is the worst for that. So it's actually possible
she did fake her passing and then blew her cover
by way of technical failure. But the question remains, how
are you the only one who didn't know unless she
(05:47):
has all new contacts and or you were the only
person from her past she stayed in touch with. Opie replies,
I'm assuming that I was the only one that got duped,
since her account has been active this whole time. She
and her husband were the only ones I kept in
contact with on that side of the family, so of
course I never got any confusion when I talked about
my sister having passed away and it occurred to me
(06:08):
to seek proof of her passing. I don't know why
she would have added me if she did fake it,
but your edit seems like a reasonable explanation, and there's
a comment from op Honestly, the thing that hurts me
the most is the recent holiday pictures with our father.
When we reconnected after the diagnosis, we had this huge
heart to heart about the abuses he inflicted on us,
(06:30):
as well as him being the reason for our distance.
Even if it turns out to be a huge misunderstanding.
I don't know how much better of a relationship I
would want, because I don't want to invite him back
into my life, even just by association.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
And there's an edit.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
But before we get into the edit, what are our
theories here? Any thoughts?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Theories?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I mean ideas we've set them either A. The big
ones are A she faked it. She faked it, and
maybe we don't know why, but maybe this is a
cry for help or something like that. Be someone goneto
her account and trying to reach out to you for money.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
It just seems so unlikely to me that they'd be
doing something sketchy if they're just like posting stuff publicly
like do doo.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Uh, it's so strange. But let's get into the rest
of the story.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
A lot of perspectives here.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
It looks like the only thing I can do is
talk to her, but I'm still just not there yet.
Judging by the pictures on the account, the cancer was real.
There are a lot of pictures of her in the
hospital and her recovery process afterwards, and through the time
she was supposedly passed away. There are a lot of
recent pictures with harmful parent and his new family as well,
so I don't know what to think. It was her
(07:47):
husband who broke the news to me, and I didn't
think to ask for proof, because well, who thinks of that.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
At a time like that.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
She hadn't talked to me for a while because she
said she hadn't been feeling well, and my only contact
with them at that point was with them. And there's
an update ten days later. Let's just get into it.
I want the information. Ten days later, my sister, who
I was told passed away after a battle with caner,
added me on social media. After going through her profile,
(08:15):
it was clear that it was definitely her. You guys
encouraged me to talk to her to find out what happened.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
And it took me a bit to come up with
the will to do so, but.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
I finally did. I sent her a very short but
polite message saying that I was glad that she seemed
to be doing well, but I was very confused because
I had been told she passed away. Apparently our father
told her that I was a huge source of negativity
and that it was unhealthy for her to have me
in her life. While she was going through the cancer.
She told me she didn't believe that, but that he
(08:45):
offered to pay for her treatments in full if she
just cut contact with me forever, and they came to
the conclusion together that it would be better for me
if I thought she was just gone, huh what yeah,
talk about like the abusive father.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
That's insane.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
She told me that she was reaching out now because
he had given her permission to as he felt I
was in a better place now. I was pretty furious
when I read that, especially since I had been helping
her out financially and in pretty significant amounts. I know
how stressful medical bills and how much of a relief
it would be if someone offered to completely take care
of mine would be. But at the same time, I
(09:28):
hate that our relationship had a price tag. We grew
pretty close, at least I thought so, even commiserating about
how awful that man had made our lives, but he
was able to just swoop in so easily and manipulate
us again. I don't know what to say it first,
so I let myself cool down and talked about it
with my partner, and then ultimately decided to let her
(09:49):
know that I appreciated her telling me the truth and
that I'm glad she's well, but that i'd prefer if
we didn't talk much going forward, as I was really
hurt by what she did and that I didn't want
any avenue for our father to have any contact, much less.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Control over my life.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Well, it's just such an easy workaround. Someone's like, yeah,
i'll do this, but all you have to do is
do this thing that I can't really ever truly verify
because you could have just used like your husband's phone
or done anything, maybe just a different Instagram account whatever.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Like you could have done didn't know literally anything, didn't
opie like reach out to other people and be like,
oh my did she pass and like were you there
at the I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
It's just such a crazy lie to use as well,
where it's like, oh, yeah, she's not. It's like you
could have probably just immediately been honest and been like hey,
like I know this sucks, but like it kind of
works out for both of us because you don't have
to pay any more money to help me, and I
can get my treatments fully paid for and honestly, like,
(10:52):
I'm not just gonna cut you off forever. There's an
expiration date to this some comments to finish us off here.
My two cats are great, says Opie. I'm so sorry
you're going through this. You handled this amazingly though. You're
more thoughtful and mature at twenty two than your sister
is at forty one. Thing I wanted to point out though,
quote he felt I was in a better place now.
(11:14):
Was your dad just pulling this out of his butt
or does he have some way of keeping tabs on
you? You might want to look into this and see how
he is getting information about your life. Ohpi replies that
thought just sent sheells down my buine. I think he's
just making things up because there haven't really been any
changes of note in my life. And for Mrger says
(11:36):
she was reaching out now because he had given her permission.
She didn't even have the guts to actually reach out
to you, though, she just blankly added you on social media,
causing you to have one of the biggest mind f's
anyone could go through like. She could have added a
note explaining what happened and why she was actually reaching
out now. I'm so so sorry. I don't have any
(11:56):
real advice, but I just want to say that I
think you've handled this really sensibly so far. I'm glad
you have your partner to lean on right now, and
please be kind to yourself. Ope responds, Yeah, I'd honestly
rather still be kept in the dark. I think there's
a lot of emotions that I have to work through
regarding this, But my guy is a really solid dude,
(12:17):
and other than some very mild I told you sos,
he's been amazingly supportive. When OP was told to get
the money back that they gave the sister, they say,
I'm not really interested in getting any money back. Of course,
it would be immensely helpful, since I'm at the moment
trying to go back to school, still trying to pay
off my own medical debt, and playing with the idea
(12:38):
of a wedding. But that wasn't money taken from me
unfairly at the time. She was really in a spot
where she needed it, and I was happy to be
able to help. Plus I had a sister for a
while because of it, so I'm okay with just letting
that go. There's a comment from OP summing everything up
to finish us off. There are a lot of emotions
I have to work through. Still, I feel hugely betrayed
(13:00):
by this, especially because it was never a situation where
she was faced with the decision of cutting your sister
out or passing away. She wasn't having to turn down treatment.
She just didn't want to be shackled with all the debt.
I'm really frustrated and really hurt. And maybe I'm holding
her too high of a standard, because I know situations
(13:21):
are different for different people, but I was somewhat recently
in and out of the hospital for a hard condition,
and I would have given anything to have family that
actually cared about me.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I don't know either way.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
I'm resolved to more or less avoid her, so I'm
just trying to put it out of my head. And then,
for you, is the end of that story?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
If I were opening a situation like why why why?
Like Okay, you gave me a reason, I don't believe that.
Why is it? Like I just want the truth of
like did you just want more money? Like there's it
seems like there's so much more too than the reasoning
we got, and that's what ticks me off. I'm like you, yeah,
I think you see it in movies.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Move though. I think you see it in movies.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
You're like, oh, they fake their own or like, okay,
that makes sense, they want to get off the grid
or what have you. But then she's like posting holiday photos.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
That's why I think it's a grift.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
I think they were grifting, and uh, you know, I
don't know it's I think it's the wise move though,
to kind of just be like.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Look, something is weird here.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
I don't know why, I don't know what, but I
know it's weird. So I'm just removing myself from the
equation and they let's just don't give me the money
back whatever. I'm just letting you be. I'm glad you're okay,
I guess, but don't ask me for money anymore.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Don't talk to me.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
I don't want to connect with you.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
I finally found my step brother, but then he suddenly
disappeared on me. Is he a magician? And by the way,
this comes from our own subreddit.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
No way her own, one of our own.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
This story takes place over several years, and the outcome
is something that I can't get my mind off of.
A Couple of years ago, I thirty three female jumped
on the twenty three and me bandwagon and did a
DNA test to learn more about my heritage. I was
really into finding out where my family originated from and
was never interested in the family matching side of it,
knowing my huge family would yield hundreds of matches. By
(15:20):
the way, this comes from user Ella the Amulet and
if you want to submit your own stories, just like
Ella did, go to the r slash Okay storytime Sebert it. Yeah, yeah,
I'm Keon, I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and we're here to
give good advice Goofily, But we don't have all the answers.
We only know what we'd do, So let us know
what you would do in the comments, hope, he says.
(15:43):
Several months went by and I would get alerts about
new family matches, but never made the effort to see
who was there. At this point, it had been several
years since I moved out of my parents' house and
lived across the country, but in twenty eighteen, I had
to come back for several months to take care of
my mom and younger sister fifteen at the time, as
my mom was having major surgery. My sister has cerebral
(16:05):
palsy and is unable to care for herself, my mom
wouldn't be able to do any heavy lifting, and my
dad isn't the helping type of guy. During my stay,
I thought it would be fun to finally put time
into my ancestry and started building my family tree. I
also decided to revisit twenty three and MES as it
had more updates and features, but still didn't check out
(16:25):
the relative side. Looking back now, I kept avoiding it
for a reason, as I kept getting this gut feeling
that I needed to fully see the results. Finally, after
several weeks of the nagging feeling, I logged on with
my laptop and the results floored me. There was a
twenty five percent match with a man labeled as a
DW on my family tree. The descriptions that stated that
(16:48):
this person was related to me as a half sibling
from one of my parents rot row. I instantly felt
the blood drain from my face and was terribly ill. Second,
I thought it had to be a mistake, but after
checking his profile and seeing he came from the same
hometown as I did, there was no mistake. He was
(17:10):
the product of my father either having an affair or
before he met my mom again, he's not the type
of guy to help around. I took this information very hard,
not because I was upset that I had a long
lost sibling, but because I didn't know who he was,
how old he was, and how I was going to
break the news to my mom. My dad doesn't have
(17:33):
the cleanest record. I don't even have a relationship with
him anymore due to him just being a horrible human being.
For context, just weeks before this, my mom had found
out my dad had been cheating with a string of
adult workers and had gotten so bold as to let
them call the house phone when they were looking for him. Previously,
(17:54):
he's accused me. He's accused my mom of cheating and
stating that my sister isn't even his Oh my gosh.
All the stems from his own guilt, as my mom
is the definition of a saint projector.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
He's projecting.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
He's a projector, and my mother is incapable of what
my dad as accuser of. At this point, my mom
and dad aren't together anymore, thank goodness. They're still married
but are basically housemates sleeping in separate rooms, with my
dad avoiding divorce to keep the peace, but in reality
because he knows he's on the losing side if they
were too legally split. Things were tense regardless, and the
(18:32):
news of this new sibling wasn't helping much. But after
fighting internally with it, I decided to reach out to him.
I sent him a message simply stating that the results
matched us as siblings and that I had obvious questions.
I didn't expect a response much less, so soon after
a few hours, I saw a new message notification a
(18:52):
response from my brother. His name was Darryl, and he
said to ask ask away and that he had questions
as well.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Shortly afterwards, I received a notification on Instagram that I
had a new follower, followed by a message notification Daryl
had found my Instagram page. Before I opened his message,
the first thing I noticed when I saw his page
was we had this same tattoo.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
Mm huh, what what is this about to turn in
like a memory loss story?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
What we had to separate you from birth? Because if
you guys combine your tattoos, you'll open the ninth gate
of h double hockeys. Daddy Wombo, Yeah, this isn't your
typical everyday tattoo. This tattoo is inspired by a band
that isn't mainstream, But if you were to go to
a show of Theirs, you would see that almost every
fan has a rendition of this symbol. I felt an
(19:46):
instant connection and was in shock at the coincidence. I
also had a picture of it posted on my page,
so when I opened his message, he said he was
sorry for moving so fast that his husband actually couldn't
help help himself, and looked me up and was equally
shocked that we bore the same tattoo, and noted it
was kind of freaking can have Phareka?
Speaker 1 (20:07):
So y'all just like the same band.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
That's just cool coincidence, I think not. The second thing
I noticed was how similar he was to our dad.
I could tell he was on the shorter side and
in his self is his hands were identical to our father's.
I had no doubt he was my father's kid.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
He's got my father's hands, well, I can tell me
he's got my father's.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
I have never heard somebody be like they have the
same hands. Interesting. From there, it was message after message,
getting to know each other and realizing how much we
have in common. He told me about his life, how
he was conceived before my parents ever even met. His
mom was a substance addict adult worker in the eighties
in my hometown. How he was later placed in the
(20:50):
foster care system. He was eventually adopted by a nice
couple that he sees as his actual parents, and he
didn't want anything from my family or me. He just
wanted to know where he was from. I felt so
sad knowing all he'd been through, and was pissed at
my dad for causing this, but at this point I
still didn't know if my dad was even aware of him.
(21:11):
I told him as much. I was very straightforward about
the type of man our father was and that he
would never accept him. My dad is a closet guard
and hates anyone that dresses or looks out of the norm.
Darrel dies, his hair often is covered in tattoos and piercings.
I told him I was sorry for being the bearer
of bad news, and he said he was fine with it,
(21:31):
that he didn't have intentions of meeting or getting to
know our dad, as he already had his parents that
love and support him. Over the next several months to years,
we kept in touch with the promise of meeting each
other one day. Unfortunately, that day never came, as he
slowly started removing his social media pages. First was his
Instagram account. I quickly noticed and sent him a message
(21:52):
on snap asking if all was well since I noticed
his account was gone, and he said he was okay
but was experiencing hate issues. He's very left wing and
very vocal about BLM, LGBTQ, et cetera, so I figured
it had to do with something of that nature. Our
messages between each other also slowly stopped, until finally he
either shut down his Snapchat or blocked me without any explanation.
(22:16):
Before this, I had shared my number with him, but
he never called or texted. My final attempt at a
connection was returning to twenty three in me and sending
him a message letting him know that I didn't understand
why he stopped talking to me, but I respected his
wishes if that's what he wanted. He never responded. All
of our conversations were chill and there was never a
rift or confrontation, so I never truly knew the motive
(22:38):
behind him cutting me off. I kept the secret for
the longest time. I never told my dad, but I
did eventually tell my mom It wasn't until my last
visit in twenty twenty three that I finally broke My
mom and I were having a heart to heart when
I was talking to her about growing up and never
being never being told I was loved by her or
(22:59):
my dad. This led to deeper conversations about my depression
and my self worth and how my life had been
affected by all of those things. I eventually told her
that I had something I was hiding from her that
had been eating me alive for the last several years.
I told her everything, and it was so freeing good
on EUOPI. Surprisingly, she wasn't upset, she didn't cry, she
(23:22):
was irreally calm. She asked if I had told my dad,
and I told her, of course not, that there was
no point since my dad would say that I was
making it all up, or how can I possibly know
if those tests were even real? The worst part was
that the only proof I had was the twenty three
in me account. All those profiles and pictures of Daryl
were gone. She said I needed to tell him, but
(23:44):
I refused, though I though I said if she wanted,
if she wanted to, then she could. She said she
was going to save it and place it in her
arsenal for the future in the event that my dad
tried talking his nonsense again.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Ah.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Several months go by, It's my birthday. It's my birthday,
and I'm in the middle of eating dinner with my
husband at this restaurant I love. When I receive a
call from my mom. She wishes me a happy birthday
and starts chit chatting away as she normally does. Eventually
she drops the bomb on me that she confronted my
dad about my half brother. In that instant, my stomach
(24:20):
churned and I wasn't sure if I was ready for
her to tell me the story. Before I could stop her,
she gave me the rundown. It started when they were
talking about a relative having a kid out of wedlock.
My dad was making snarky comments about how dumb they
were to let something like that happen, and obviously not
being careful to not get caught cheating. What from the
(24:41):
cheating guy himself?
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Was your dad?
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Like? Who is your dad? What is up with that guy?
Speaker 2 (24:47):
My mom responded along the lines of I'm sure you
have a lot of them floating around, huh, And he,
without shame, said he probably had like ten.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Who are these people?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Who is this guy?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Who is this man? Hope you?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
I just want to talk to him. I want to
talk to your dad. It took all my mom's might
not to slap him and said told him she knew
of one, and essentially told him everything I had told her.
Turns out he knew.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Yeah, that doesn't surprise me after how he's been talking,
and the guy sounds like the most unbothered individual of
all time.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
At first, he tried to deny it and how could
she possibly know? My mom told him about the DNA
test and I called it. He tried to say it
was probably a lie. However, he quickly caved after my
mom started sharing the details. He was trusted.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
He knew the whole time.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
He's like, it's probably a lie. Trust me.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
I do that all the time. I'm constantly lying. Take
it from the horse I have the mouth. It's the lies,
he said.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
At the time, Darrel's mom showed Darrel to my dad,
but my dad didn't believe that Darryl was his. He
said that he thought the girl was Darryl's sister. For
all I know, she may be my sibling too, since
Daryl was dark and ugly, and she was fair skinned
and pretty. Those were his words, but he called.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
The baby ugly.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
His baby's too ugly to be my baby.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
I'm beautiful, ugly baby, coma.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
It's not what's on the outside, Papa, So it's on
on the inside, and you're the ugliest one of them all.
But didn't claim either because it wasn't his problem. My
mom called him a pig and told him he should
be ashamed of himself. Daryl suffered because of his choices.
My mom cried for him and told me she later
(26:42):
prayed for Daryl, praying to God that he is taken
care of and at peace with his life, and begged
for forgiveness about my dad being the sick person he was.
There's a little bit left. It's one of those things
where it's like, well, we already knew Dad sucked, and
this is just this is I don't even know how
you can multiply this by even more. But he's like
(27:03):
you just at this point, we should just kick Dad out.
Dad doesn't deserve anything good going for him. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Yeah, I don't know what kind of the separation agreement
is or the process, but come on, folks, it's it's
just like him.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Get him out of there. What are we doing? Where
do we need him to be? Where we want him
to be? I don't want him to be around us.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, he sucks. Back to the story, I felt sick.
I've never been more ashamed of being this man's blood
made me so angry that he would see people much
less his own flesh and blood children as disposable. I
shouldn't have been surprised after the way he treated me,
me who actually grew up in this same home, But
(27:45):
it was all still a shock, and it all just
solidified those negative feelings I had for my dad. I'm
kind of glad Darryl never found out this part of
his life because I don't want to know what it
would have done to him. Would he have been crushed,
would he have ever would he have ever cared? I'll
probably never know. I wanted to share the story to
(28:07):
kind of put it to rest, to try and find
my peace. I'm still sad about my brother. For a moment,
I thought I found my equal, someone who got me
and didn't make me feel so out of place. I
also just wish I knew how he was. Unfortunately he didn't.
Luck out with his dad's genetics and suffers from depression
like I do, but his is more severe. I hope
(28:28):
he's happy and living his best life. Darryl, if you
ever read this, just know your little sister still cares
and is still holding onto the chance of getting to
meet her big bro. Dang right there as oh man.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
That's that aw man. Ouch.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Yeah, again, it seemed like you guys wanted to do something.
But maybe Darryl, it could be again you can respect
his wishes of maybe he didn't need to figure that out,
figure that part of his life out. He seems like
he found people that love and cares for him. It
does suck for uop because again you found someone that
not only by blood but just by coincidence, you all
(29:08):
seem to mesh well.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Y'all have matching tattoos.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
But back, you know, you never know. Door doesn't necessarily
stay closed forever.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
But yeah, and I don't think you can take it
out in Darryl. I don't think it's like, Okay, we
were talking and then you just kind of fell off
fell off there, like what happened. It's just like all right, cool,
if the door opens again, great, if he reaches out great,
but just be happy that you know you found someone
that you're related to, and you guys, just in life,
(29:39):
you guys, you know at least cross paths that you
actually had the we were able to reach out to him,
and you know, even if it was for a moment,
I think he he loved. That. Gets your dad out
of there. I don't know your dad sucks. That's it.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Indeed, Hey, it's Sam, your og host.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Here.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
We're gonna get back to the stories. Here's three minutes
of ads from our sponsors.
Speaker 4 (30:02):
My father shamed me for being upset over something they caused.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
I'm shaming you anyways.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
I seventeen female, have a very strain relationship with my
dad forty eight and stepmom forty nine. Growing up, my
dad has always been the type of dad to be
told when to actually parent and not do it himself.
My parents separated when I was four years old, and
due to my mom working in pubs and my dad
working two jobs at the time, I ended up living
with my nan. By the way, this comes from Feeling
(30:32):
Orchid fifteen thirty four and if you want to smit
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story time,
Separate it I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, I'm Carly, and we're
here to give good advice. Goofy, But we don't have
all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So
let us know what you'd do in the comments, and
Ope says there was a system set up so every
two weeks I would go to my dad's on the weekends,
(30:55):
and on the weekends between I'd go to my mom's
so I could see them both. Even before I was born,
my dad was a crappy person and cheated on my mom.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Twice ah yikes.
Speaker 4 (31:07):
After I was born, she would do everything while he
would sit with a newspaper in front of the TV.
Once I moved into my NaN's and my granddad's house,
my Nan would have to chase after my dad to
get him to help pay for things. I have hypermobility
in my legs and it affects my feet really badly,
meaning I need to have supportive inserts and specific shoes,
(31:28):
which got expensive. My Nan and mom would pay some
and my dad would pay some same with school uniform
and supplies, but my Nan would have to text multiple
times to see any money from my dad to help out.
Just in general, he would be difficult to get a
hold of whenever it concerned me. In twenty twenty, my
nan passed away from cancer, so I moved in with
(31:51):
my mom as my granddad was struggling with having my
uncle and me living there. This then led to my
mom and dad coming to my coming to an agreement
where he would send my mom fifty pounds a week
two hundred pounds a month in total to dealt with
my food, uniform and supplies. That feels like, I don't know,
is that enough?
Speaker 2 (32:11):
No?
Speaker 4 (32:11):
For all of that.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
No, But I feel like what we're going to get
and what we already seen his dad is never going
to be enough.
Speaker 4 (32:19):
Yeah. When I got into year eleven, I had to
travel for two hours on a good day or three
to four hours on a bad day home from school.
What so me, my mom and dad decided that my
mom would get twenty five pounds from my dad instead
of fifty pounds, and I'd get the other twenty five
for travel train fairs. Now, I want to point out
(32:40):
that even though at first the money helped, soon because
of train fairs getting more expensive, the twenty five pounds
wasn't really helping me. My mom would have to send
me money a lot of the time so I could
actually get home and get something to eat, especially if
the travel was bad. That day, my mom tried to
speak to my dad and things got sour quick as
he thought it was more than enough to make matters worse.
(33:03):
My mom lost her job and went on child benefits
and universal credit. We lived in a council hostile for
a year and train fares went up again, so it
was hard with travel, but thankfully the hostel was closer
to my school. Also, at this time, my dad only
had one job, which was paying well. He told me
so himself. He didn't offer to help out with me
(33:27):
at all though, and I had stopped going every weekend
to his and my stepmoms, so he has more money
now and he's still not helping.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
And Lou says, uniforms are standard, they are standard zone
never mind. Yeah, but still why so far away one?
Speaker 4 (33:41):
That's what I'm wondering.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Also, I guarantee the dad was like back in my day. Yeah,
it cost only twenty five is so much? Twenty five
pounds it cost a cent?
Speaker 4 (33:49):
Yeah, I would have to confirm whether I was going
or not, as I was distancing myself from that side
of the family due to comments that were made. Now
on to the main issue. I'm many others, but there
are the bigger points that still get spoken about. Every year,
for my stepmom's birthday, sometimes not landing on it, whichever
week it was, we would go to a caravan site
(34:10):
for the weekend. There'd be pubs, arcades, and a clubhouse
for kids with a bar for adults. We went every
year and sometimes for Easter. As I got older, I
didn't have much in common with my cousins or family friends,
so I got left out a lot. I would always
end up alone in the arcade or on my phone.
Last year, my cousins and family friends were allowed to
(34:31):
bring friends and partners who my stepmom had not met
or met briefly, and they all hung out together, leaving
me out. I tried to join in, but they would
divert to what they wanted to talk about, which I
wasn't interested in as much. Now the actual issue this
year is my step mom's fiftieth birthday and the caravan
(34:51):
weekend is next weekend. Her birthday is next Tuesday. Since
it's her fiftieth, she and my dad are getting a
caravan alone, So I originally would have been in a
caravan with my half siblings and my half brother's girlfriend.
Now I always end up playing referee as my siblings
argue a lot, so I really wasn't comfortable staying in
a caravan with them, knowing there will be arguments. I
(35:14):
had asked originally if my best friend could come this time,
as pretty much everyone else going, the whole family and
many friends have friends and partners going. My stepmom hasn't
met her, but my dad is multiple times and likes her.
So I asked my dad to ask my stepmom if
she could come, as he would vouch. As he could
vouch for her. My friend is responsible, we both are,
(35:34):
so I knew we wouldn't do anything stupid. Over the weekend,
my dad got back to me and said that he
decided she couldn't come. I said okay and left it
at that. Then one day my mom asked about what
my dad said, so I told her that he said no.
She then offered to pay for a caravan for me
and my best friend Stan by ourselves dealt with space
(35:55):
and take the financial burden off them in case that
was the issue. So I mentioned it to my dad
what my mom was offering, and he blew up at
me for gone behind his back. I didn't. My mom
was being nice and offering to do this.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
You know. It's one of those things. It's like the
thing where you're like, you go, you asked your dad? Yeah,
You're like, Dad, can I can I get this? And
he's like, no, go ask your mom.
Speaker 4 (36:16):
Hmmm, and then and then OPI does and then gets
in trouble for it.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
My dad then got my stepmom to be to message
me and basically she said, it's my birthday, I choose
who comes, not you, which I understand wholeheartedly. It's her
birthday weekend, so obviously she chooses who comes. But I
wasn't forcing this honor. I was just giving an option
that my mom gave. They both then said that they
didn't want to be responsible for anything, which they wouldn't
(36:44):
be as my mom was paying for it and my
brother on my mom's side would be staying with us,
so we had an adult with us. It basically got
to the point where they both told me I disappointed
them and then didn't speak to me for two weeks.
They both started messaging me acting like nothing happened. I
then posted a TikTok from the trend You're so funny. Thanks,
(37:07):
Then you say what bad thing happened? Mine said thanks,
I got shamed for expressing my feelings for the first
time and got told I disappointed them for starting something,
and then didn't speak to me for two weeks. Then
they decided to message me on separate days, acting like
they didn't shame me or I have a go at me,
when all I wanted was for them to listen and
understand my perspective for once rather than their own. That's long.
(37:29):
Who was gonna say, also give you it gives no contact.
They both saw it. I clearly didn't name them. I
even have a screenshot of my original video if anyone
needs to see it. And they both commented and started
messaging me angrily, so clearly they knew it was about them. Okay, Opie, Opie,
you posted a really petty TikTok.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Of course they're gonna know, at least specific to anybody,
this is oh piece of cow.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
Oh what TikTok did they post? Oh, it's that's about us.
They've always acted that way, as in shaming my feelings
and disrespecting them. My stepmom then blocked me after getting
pissed off or blasting her on TikTok. Well, technically I didn't,
as I didn't mention them directly, so it says enough
(38:20):
that they knew it was about them. Again, pretty obvious
that it was about them, Pretty obvious. But there is
a little bit left of this story. I feel like
it is somewhat valid for the stepmom to be like,
I don't want you to bring a random friend I
don't know to my birthday celebration.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
That's I think this is all very fair. Again, I
feel like your mom not necessarily. Maybe it's not true.
Maybe it is. I feel like your mom's kind of
like making decisions for this event when.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
Yeah, that shouldn't be Yeah, I mean it's for like
the step.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Step mom, so it's like stepmom's birthday. Yeah, and again
maybe she should have had a conversation with your dad
about it and maybe your step mo. I'm like, hey,
Opie deserves a friend. You know, everyone has friends going. Yeah,
the brothers got like, I feel like there was like
a little miscommunication there. But again, if if it is
the step mom's birthday, yeah, and I got I.
Speaker 4 (39:15):
Know she may suck. Still, I don't want to discredit
experience with you know, stepmom. But I think in this
situation it.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Is it's the roles reversed. Yeah, I OPI. It was
your birthday and your step mom was coming, and she's like,
I'm inviting my friend. Yeah, and you're like and she's like,
how do you feel about that? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (39:37):
But there's a little left. Anyways, my mom still booked
the caravan for me and my friend, but my dad, stepmom,
et cetera don't know that we're going.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
That's not gonna be great.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
Are you going to the same place, So we're just
going for a holiday and not her birthday. If they
have a problem, then they can treat me like an
adult and actually listen to me. This is a bad idea.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
This is a very bad idea. You're gonna post this.
I'm TikTok yep.
Speaker 4 (40:02):
Then my dad used my NaN's will to bribe me
into talking to him face to face about it. All.
I did speak to him, and he didn't let me
get a word in whatsoever. Like always, many things have
happened with my dad being like this, which has put
me in tears, saying I hate him, and just some
other things. In general. I'm at the point where I'm
certain I will cut them all off once I turn eighteen,
as I won't need my dad's financial aid that he
(40:24):
sends me each week. I know some things I have
done aren't right, but I just need an outside opinion
that isn't my mom or my friends who know of
this so read it. Would I be the able if
I were to cut them all off after everything that's happened,
and that's the end of that story.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
I mean, this is not on U.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
Op.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
Yeah, this is definitely on your mom and your your
dad having a conversation.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
Parents are probably kind of putting opee in the middle
of this, That's what I'm saying. Like the mom's like, ah,
I'm gonna do what they don't feel like.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
I feel like they're using op as like a like
a ping pong ball of like yeah haha, no haha,
like she yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:04):
And also op in terms of like would it be
the ale if I cut them off? I don't think
you would be the a hole. If you truly have
a terrible relationship with your dad and just cannot be
around them, then yeah, you know, do what you need
to do, but just uh be aware that in this
situation you know, I don't know. If this is the
(41:26):
only situation that you're basing this off of, I probably
wouldn't have cut them off. But if it's kind of
a like a comp just foundation of a bunch of
different things, then maybe yeah, yeah, I don't have to
know other scenarios, because from just this one scenario, I'd
be like.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
Dad said no, yeah, was like dad said no, yeah,
and mom said yes yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:50):
Not talking to you for two weeks that was crazy.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
We've all been there. I've been there. I'm assuming you've
been there. Carly's maybe been there. I don't know. I'm
not speaking for everyone, but I've been there where I'm like, hey,
parent A, could I do this? Or could I go out?
Or could I invite a friend? Or can I go
to whoever? Cah I go do this? And they say no,
and then parent B says sure of course you can,
(42:13):
and you're like, just use that they said yes, yes,
said yes, I'm gonna go, and the other parents like
I said no, and then it becomes a huge thing
and guess they're like, well I said yes, and they
just turned towards you and be like, what are you
to do?
Speaker 4 (42:26):
Yeah, so you have to choose.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Here, it's John, your og host.
Speaker 5 (42:30):
Here.
Speaker 3 (42:31):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a
quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
I ruined my cousin's life. Just why existing?
Speaker 4 (42:39):
Well, maybe you should stop. We're ruining his life, not existing,
continue to exist.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
Okay, trigger warding verbal So I eighteen female have always
had weird drama with my cousin Casey twenty three female.
For some reason, she's always had this bizarre obsession with
being in competition with me while loving my older sister
twenty four female like she's God's favorite. No idea why
(43:07):
I gave up trying to figure it out years ago.
By the way, this comes from user Lily g. And
if you want to submit your own stories, you could
submit them to the r slash. Okay, sorry time starbur it.
I'm Keon, I'm Sophia, I'm Carly. We're here to give
good advice, Googly, but we don't have all the answers.
Just flease. We only know what we do, so let
us know what you would do in the comments. Ohpi
(43:29):
says for context, she lived with us from middle school
up to now because of family issues, and even then
she treated me like a punching bag, and unfortunately it
worked for a while. I had under baggy clothes, avoided people,
and had zero confidence. Fast forward to junior high I
started finding myself made some friends, got a little style,
(43:51):
learned makeup from my sister, and got into my nineties
baggy clothes but cute era heck yeah coming back. Casey
hated every second of it, claimed I was copying her.
She wore baggy hoodies and sweats with crocs every day.
It got worse when I got a boyfriend and she
dead but tried to steal him. My mom had to
(44:11):
intervene multiple times, while my dad kept telling me to
let it go. She's been through a lot. Spoiler alert,
She's been through a lot her entire life. According to everyone,
I graduated high school early at sixteen with honors and
college credits. She hated it and called me a dumb
prick who wouldn't get far. She didn't even come to
(44:31):
my graduation. Meanwhile, she dropped out of college twice. Projection.
I think, yeah, I think so. What made it worse
was I found out I was pregnant in November, and
Casey immediately started telling family. I didn't know who the
father was. That could have been multiple men. Casey, mind
(44:52):
your dang business, Casey, Casey, Casey, Oh, well, mind you.
I'd been with my boyfriend for two years at this
point when no one believed her, but she tried to
take the attention off of me and tried to get
pregnant herself. She admitted to this, but it was a fail.
We were all there for her. I even wore baggy
clothes so she wouldn't feel triggered seeing my bump. Still,
(45:14):
every time I had a craving or talked about my pregnancy,
she made it about her. She would literally cry at
the dinner table because it should have been her dramatic
right then, when I announced my baby's name, she went
and got a customed blanket made with the same name
and her du date, claiming I stole it. The name
(45:35):
was my mom's mother's name, who she has no relation to.
She's my dad's niece. Eventually I kept the name. We're
planning my baby shower, talking about decorations and food. When
she loudly scoffs from the living room. No one cares.
Speaker 4 (45:51):
Is she's still here? Can we just get her out?
Speaker 2 (45:55):
We ignore her? Yeah, we said, the baby's name again,
and here she goes, uh name you stole from me.
Speaker 4 (46:02):
I'm sorry if someone yelled no one cares. When I
was announcing baby, I'd be like, uh, can you shut up?
Can you leave? If you don't care, you can go.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
I rolled my eyes because why are you still on this.
I'm showing my mom a pick of a customed Carci
cover I ordered. She storms in with her own baby
stuff she bought, mumbling hopefully I don't steal her ideas,
like I have most of her things already. I don't
want your ideas. Once again, I ignored her, and my
(46:32):
mom told her she loved them when she sees me
not caring. She then went full on explode mode, accuses
of me of copying her, being jealous, needing to heal
before I bring a baby into this world, and rainally
brings up the hormonal hygiene struggles I've been having lately
that she overheard me talking about. We left to the
backyard where my sister was, and this woman followed us out, screaming,
(46:57):
saying we treat her worse than her own parents did.
That's a big lie. My parents have babied her for
years while she treated me like dirt. My dad eventually
came upstairs from the basement because she was so loud.
He asked what was going on, and for once, instead
of coddling her, he went off. He straight up said, Casey, for.
Speaker 5 (47:16):
God's sake, I love you, but what is your problem?
You pick fights constantly, you play victim, and you're not
in middle school anymore. If you want to stay here,
you need to get your act together. I can't keep
doing this with you, or picking, or you picking with
a teenager who has done nothing to you.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
She was shell shocked.
Speaker 4 (47:40):
Finally put in her place.
Speaker 2 (47:42):
She stormed her room, packed a bag and left. Later,
she texted me this You've won. I can't fight you anymore.
You've always ruined my life. Even when I was with
my parents, you were always the favorite, and I always
hated you. You ruin everything for me, and now I
(48:04):
feel kind of bad. I didn't respond, and no one's
heard from her since. I would have responded with like
cup pong or something, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (48:13):
Would you like to play game?
Speaker 5 (48:14):
I am?
Speaker 2 (48:14):
I going to play Battleship. Yeah, that's so cool. Update.
Hey you guys, I'm honestly all overwhelmed by all the responses.
I didn't expect this to blow up like it did,
but thank you so much for the kindness, advice, and support.
You're welcome.
Speaker 4 (48:27):
You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (48:28):
I wanted to answer some of the questions I've been
seeing a lot in the comments. One was she the
youngest girl before me? Yes, she was the last girl
born for five years before I came along. Our family's
mostly boys, with only a few girls, so I do
think that may have played a part in how she
felt about me.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
Two.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
Why didn't my parents get her into therapy? My mom
has tried several times to give into my dad to
get us all into therapy, but he's one of those
people who doesn't believe in it. He always told us
to pray or write it down, which honestly helped me
at times growing up. But she definitely needed professional help,
and she still does. I've asked him recently to consider it,
(49:10):
and he just rolled his eyes and ignored me. Three
my parents' ages. My mom is forty six and my
dad is fifty seven. They've been married since nineteen ninety eight,
so about twenty six years now. Four What happened with
her parents? Well, we live on the East Coast and
they were all the way in Oakland, California. That's for contact. No,
we haven't spoken to them since they lost custody of her. Five.
(49:34):
Why was I so nice to her because I genuinely
looked up to her My older sister was never really
around much, and I thought she and I could be
close like sisters. I really wanted that six was their favoritism,
Not really. No, I feel like we were treated fairly
for the most part. If anything, she got a little
more attention and was doted on more, probably because of
what she'd been through. Oh, because of what she's been through.
(49:56):
I only got extra toys when I was little because
I was four years old and too small to do
the stuff they did. Seven. Where is she now? No
one has heard from her since she left. She's blocked
all of us, and as far as we know, she
doesn't have a job or anywhere stable to go, which
honestly makes me nervous because it's likely she'll try to
come back eventually. So we're keeping our eyes open and
(50:19):
being cautious, and we have some comments. He he he
he he he. Don't feel bad, lol. She constantly was
an a hole to you, and when she didn't get
her away, she threw a pissy fit and ran off.
She'll either be back or crash somewhere else, regardless. It's
not the last you'll hear of her, all right, Opie responds,
(50:44):
part of me wants her to stay gone. My parents
are out here, low key worried, so that's what really
makes me feel guilty. Chicken nuggets and subs. Make sure
she is on the no list if you put the
baby in daycare and even the church nursery. She seems
very sadly unhinged and needs therapy help. He responds, Oh,
(51:05):
trust she's going on the list. I'm not taking any
chances with my little one around that chaos. You're absolutely right,
better safe than sorry when it comes to mental health.
Uh procrastinators supreme. Don't ever leave her alone with your baby,
and don't let anyone else leave her alone with your baby.
Be sure your child gets all its checkups, doctor visits,
(51:28):
et cetera. She seems like she'd call protective services on
made up charges too. Be careful. She may appear better
in the future, but I'd be wary of her for
a very long time. Electrical Elk five three six says,
when she was screaming at you, she was screaming about
everything she hates about herself. She's jealous and has unresolved issues.
(51:50):
She's done well, but that's not a free past to be.
To be awful. Distance yourself as much as possible from her,
let her stay away. I'm sorry the adults in your
life didn't protect you like they should have from her
terrible behavior. You're not the a hole, Nope, he responds.
He means a lot hearing that, And yeah, I wish
the adults had stepped in sooner too, But I'm grateful
(52:10):
my dad finally saw it for what it was. I'm
definitely focusing on keeping my distance and protecting my peace judgment,
not the a hole. Yeah, uh, yeah, you did nothing wrong.
Speaker 4 (52:22):
Yeah, this girl's a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (52:24):
Yeah, you did nothing wrong that we know of.
Speaker 4 (52:26):
But yeah, you've not told us about anything you did wrong.
Speaker 2 (52:28):
Yeah, and we have an update. We're going straight into it.
Seven days later. Who well, we all called it. Casey
ended up coming back about two days later, wasted and
higher than ever. It was around one am. I was asleep,
but apparently my parents were still up watching a movie
when she came in. My dad, who's a recovering heavy drinker.
(52:48):
And has been sober since I was fourteen. Was furious
and disappointed. They tried to sit her down to talk,
but she just cried and said she was tired and
wanted to lay down, so they let her go upstairs.
A little while later, my parents stepped outside to the
back patio for a smoke break, and of course, while
they were outside and out of earshot, Casey came to
(53:10):
my room. Oh boy, oh no. I woke up to
her trying to open my door. Thankfully it was locked.
It was locked.
Speaker 4 (53:20):
Good.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
She started whisper shouting for me to open it, calling
me a piece of crap, and saying we needed to talk.
When I told her to go away and that we
can talk in the morning, she started banging on my door,
kicking it and saying that I would never be prettier
than her and that I was the ugly black sheep
in the family. I told her to go to bed again,
(53:42):
but she wasn't done. She threatened me, saying that if
she saw me tonight, it wouldn't be good for me.
Speaker 4 (53:48):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (53:49):
At that point I started recording and sent a video
to my dad. He came rushing back inside and went off.
He told her she wasn't staying another night in the house,
and she needed to start packing as soon as possible.
Speaker 4 (54:01):
Finally, get her out.
Speaker 2 (54:03):
Coming home wasted and bullying me again was unacceptable, and
she needed to figure out where she was going in
the morning. She broke down crying again, claiming we were
all she had and that she just wanted to talk.
All right, alright, five seconds ago, you were threatening me
that if you saw me in my own house.
Speaker 4 (54:19):
Pretty big switch up.
Speaker 2 (54:21):
That ud good. My dad didn't budge this time. He
told her the only person she needed to talk to
was a therapist.
Speaker 4 (54:28):
Yes, finally, your dad's actually.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
Listening to you, and until she got professional help, she
wasn't welcome here. She was shocked because, like I said before,
my dad was has always been old school and kind
of coddled her. But not this time. My mom came
inside mid conversation, sat her down, and apparently had a
heart to heart about how unacceptable it was for her
(54:52):
to live in our home while treating me like garbage.
Speaker 1 (54:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:57):
I was watching the whole thing go down on the
security cameras from my phone because yes, I'm that petty. Yeah,
But then my sister Monica started texting me taking Casey's side. Oh.
She asked me to stop making it so hard with Casey,
saying she only wanted to talk. I told her it
was one o'clock in the morning and I was barely
(55:17):
able to get out of bed, so I didn't want
to talk. Monica responded that she was tired of me
playing the victim and that I was exhausting and making
things harder to deal with. I replied that I had
cooked for them, cleaned up after them, always tried to
be nice, and neither of them did anything for me.
I told her to stop texting me and to say
good night. I cried. I always looked up to both
(55:39):
of them, even after everything, but this was my breaking point.
So here's where we are now. Casey left the next
morning to go stay with the friend. She's been texting
and calling my parents begging them to reconsider, but they're
standing firm. If she wants to be a part of
this family, she needs therapy first, no exceptions.
Speaker 4 (55:58):
Agreed.
Speaker 2 (56:00):
Heavily agreed. As for my older sister, Monica, we haven't
spoken since those texts.
Speaker 4 (56:05):
You know what, Monica can go deal with this girl
if she loves her so much, Yeah, you can deal
with her, she can have her to live with her
and then everything's fine. Yeah, put your money with your
mouth this.
Speaker 2 (56:17):
My mom noticed and asked what was going on, but
I told her to ask her daughter because I had
nothing to say. So there's a little bit left, Syvia.
What do you?
Speaker 5 (56:26):
What do you?
Speaker 2 (56:27):
What do we do?
Speaker 4 (56:28):
I think you're I mean your dad's kicked her out,
Casey out. Uh, she's not, hopefully not going to be
around you. I think you block her.
Speaker 2 (56:38):
I would block, I would block. I'm maybe like I
might need to get a restraining order.
Speaker 4 (56:43):
Yeah, she's threatening you, and then you just go no
contact with her, and then you tell your dad that
she threatened you.
Speaker 2 (56:49):
I've officially uninvited both Monica and Casey from my baby shower.
Neither of them will be involved with my baby, and
my mom said, it's my decision. No aunt Monica, no cousin.
My dad's standing firm too, no more excuses, no more drama.
And me, I'm focusing on my pregnancy, my business, and
(57:09):
reclaiming my piece. This is supposed to be a happy
time for me, and I'm done letting them take that away.
I deserve to be excited about this baby without guilt.
Thank you to everyone who's been so kind, offered advice
and reminded me that I don't have to tolerate this treatment.
It means more than you know. And we have some
comments here comments the thief Empress. When I had my daughter,
(57:32):
I was hit with the absolute fact that this was
a person. I had made a person, and oh my god,
that made me a person too, and I knew I
could no longer allow people to treat me like I
wasn't a person, because my daughter would grow up thinking
that I'm not a person, and by extension, she wasn't
a person either. I stand it for myself, talk back,
(57:53):
refuse denial of facts, and do what I know is
right for us. And she sees that You'll see it too,
and your baby will thrive on it. Hepy responds, thank
you for sharing this. It really moved me. I love
it you connected your own sense of worth and agency
to the example you're setting for your daughter. It's such
a powerful reminder that how we treat ourselves shapes how
(58:13):
our children see themselves. I'm taking this to heart and
I hope to be that kind of strengthen example from
my little one too, and that here's the end.
Speaker 4 (58:22):
Yeah, worry about your baby. Don't worry about Casey. Get
her out of your life.
Speaker 1 (58:27):
Yeah,
Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og Okay Storytime
podcast hosts.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
We have some great stories coming up.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
But before that, we have a quick two minute break
from the sponsors that keep.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
The show alive.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
My sister passed away years ago, but now she's sending
me a follow.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Request from beyond the grave.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I'm flipping out, you guys.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
My sister forty female and I twenty two female, hadn't
been close at all given the age difference, the fact
that she lived across the country, and the parent that
we share was horrifically awful towards me. Still, when she
was diagnosed with twenty thirteen, I helped by sending her
some money here and there. By the way, this comes
from user home Skilly Biscuit, and if you want to
(00:40):
submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay
storytime subreddit.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I'm Dakota, I'm.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Keon, I'm Carly, and we already give.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Good advice Goofily, but we don't have all the answers.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
We're only human.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
We only know what we would do in any given situation.
So if you would do something different, let us know
in the comments. As Op says, she ended up getting
a lot worse, and when I dropped out of college
for unrelated reasons, I worked several jobs so I could
help her out a lot more financially. I got the
news that she passed away summer of twenty sixteen and
was invited to attend the service, although I couldn't because
(01:16):
I was I was not able to get off of work.
Fast forward to today, when I get a request from
her social media account and looking through her posts, she's
not only alive, but way better off than I am.
I'm glad she's not passed away, but what I haven't
said anything to her because I'm not sure a how
to confront her about it and be what I even want. First,
(01:39):
I'm immediately suspecting this is a hacked account that is
now being used for you know, spam or for scamming.
I don't think I want to have a relationship with
my sister given what went down. But mostly my mind
is reeling and I'm trying to make sense of it.
Any advice and we have some relevant comments. Fields of
(02:00):
Lavender says, who told you the news that she had
passed away? Was it possible someone told you without her knowledge?
Opie says her husband called to tell me. Fields of
Lavender also responds, did your half sister know that her
husband did this?
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Opie says, no idea.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
I haven't worked up the courage to talk to her yet.
Nami Mimi says, working on the assumption this isn't some
kind of phishing scam from someone out for some profit
from you. You mentioned that the parent you share was
harmful to you both. Can I ask are they still
in the picture? Would it be possible that this passing
(02:36):
if it isn't some bizarre fake set up by the
husband without your sister's knowledge, hasn't got more to do
with her relationship with this parent than anything else. If
the parent in question is still alive and the sister
was involved in this passing away scenario, then be wary.
She may have legit reasons for pretending to be passed away,
(02:58):
but it's.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
An extreme reaction.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
More likely it would be to shake some responsibilities or
debts or similar. If there is a benign reason for
this scenario, it may be she's reaching out because you
had tried to help and she has feelings about this.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
None of this is on you.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
This is a lot to process, Opie says, well, her
latest pictures have been this Christmas with said parent and
his new family, as well as her husband. They look
like real recent pictures and everyone looks happy, and the
account has been active throughout the time she was supposedly
passed away until now, so I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
The bloody Menace replies.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
When your sister was ill, did you speak to her
on the phone or FaceTime? If all communication was done
on Facebook or online during this time, I'd suggest that
someone was catfishing you, as this was the time they
were requesting money. Also, did you send the money to
her actual bank account or just wire it? That is
a good point because remember op has actually been sending
(03:55):
money the whole time, which I.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Forgot that little detail.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Opie has been constantly sending money to their sister because
they were sick.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Or was she right?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Or was it the sister? Was it maybe the mother?
Was it somebody else pretending to be your sister?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Let's continue. Is there a mutual family member you can talk.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
To about this? This is such a big shock and
you'll obviously be very betrayed and confused.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
You need some support.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Sorry this happened to you, Opie says, Thanks, I've gotten
a lot of insight from people's comments, but I'm still
just baffled. I was pretty removed from that side of
the family. She and I spoke to each other occasionally,
but when she told me about the cancer, we got
a lot closer and would skype pretty often until her
health went downhill, but even then we would still talk
(04:42):
on the phone. Winnowing Wins says. My only thought is
that if her husband lied about it, wouldn't she have
reached out to the family members and friends who presumably
attended the funeral to ask why she hadn't heard from them.
Unless she was no contact with most of her family,
and if she was in on the it seems odd
of me that she just pop back up on social media.
(05:04):
I mean, if you were really the only person or
one of a very few people who could have been
duped in such a way by her husband, it's possible
that's what happened. Otherwise, I think it's a hacked account
because I have a hard time believing someone would fake
their own passing and re add their sister unless it's
a cry for help or she has memory loss of
some sort and there's an edit to add. Actually, something
(05:25):
has occurred to me sometimes if you go through ad
former email contacts, it's actually easy to accidentally request people.
LinkedIn is the worst for that. So it's actually possible
she did fake her passing and then blew her cover
by way of technical failure. But the question remains, how
are you the only one who didn't know unless she
(05:47):
has all new contacts and or you were the only
person from her past she stayed in touch with. Opie replies,
I'm assuming that I was the only one that got duped,
since her account has been active this whole time. She
and her husband were the only ones I kept in
contact with on that side of the family, so of
course I never got any confusion when I talked about
my sister having passed away and it occurred to me
(06:08):
to seek proof of her passing. I don't know why
she would have added me if she did fake it,
but your edit seems like a reasonable explanation, and there's
a comment from op Honestly, the thing that hurts me
the most is the recent holiday pictures with our father.
When we reconnected after the diagnosis, we had this huge
heart to heart about the abuses he inflicted on us,
(06:30):
as well as him being the reason for our distance.
Even if it turns out to be a huge misunderstanding.
I don't know how much better of a relationship I
would want, because I don't want to invite him back
into my life, even just by association.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
And there's an edit.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
But before we get into the edit, what are our
theories here? Any thoughts?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Theories?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I mean ideas we've set them either A. The big
ones are A she faked it. She faked it, and
maybe we don't know why, but maybe this is a
cry for help or something like that. Be someone goneto
her account and trying to reach out to you for money.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
It just seems so unlikely to me that they'd be
doing something sketchy if they're just like posting stuff publicly
like do doo.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Uh, it's so strange. But let's get into the rest
of the story.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
A lot of perspectives here.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
It looks like the only thing I can do is
talk to her, but I'm still just not there yet.
Judging by the pictures on the account, the cancer was real.
There are a lot of pictures of her in the
hospital and her recovery process afterwards, and through the time
she was supposedly passed away. There are a lot of
recent pictures with harmful parent and his new family as well,
so I don't know what to think. It was her
(07:47):
husband who broke the news to me, and I didn't
think to ask for proof, because well, who thinks of that.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
At a time like that.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
She hadn't talked to me for a while because she
said she hadn't been feeling well, and my only contact
with them at that point was with them. And there's
an update ten days later. Let's just get into it.
I want the information. Ten days later, my sister, who
I was told passed away after a battle with caner,
added me on social media. After going through her profile,
(08:15):
it was clear that it was definitely her. You guys
encouraged me to talk to her to find out what happened.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
And it took me a bit to come up with
the will to do so, but.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
I finally did. I sent her a very short but
polite message saying that I was glad that she seemed
to be doing well, but I was very confused because
I had been told she passed away. Apparently our father
told her that I was a huge source of negativity
and that it was unhealthy for her to have me
in her life. While she was going through the cancer.
She told me she didn't believe that, but that he
(08:45):
offered to pay for her treatments in full if she
just cut contact with me forever, and they came to
the conclusion together that it would be better for me
if I thought she was just gone, huh what yeah,
talk about like the abusive father.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
That's insane.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
She told me that she was reaching out now because
he had given her permission to as he felt I
was in a better place now. I was pretty furious
when I read that, especially since I had been helping
her out financially and in pretty significant amounts. I know
how stressful medical bills and how much of a relief
it would be if someone offered to completely take care
of mine would be. But at the same time, I
(09:28):
hate that our relationship had a price tag. We grew
pretty close, at least I thought so, even commiserating about
how awful that man had made our lives, but he
was able to just swoop in so easily and manipulate
us again. I don't know what to say it first,
so I let myself cool down and talked about it
with my partner, and then ultimately decided to let her
(09:49):
know that I appreciated her telling me the truth and
that I'm glad she's well, but that i'd prefer if
we didn't talk much going forward, as I was really
hurt by what she did and that I didn't want
any avenue for our father to have any contact, much less.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Control over my life.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Well, it's just such an easy workaround. Someone's like, yeah,
i'll do this, but all you have to do is
do this thing that I can't really ever truly verify
because you could have just used like your husband's phone
or done anything, maybe just a different Instagram account whatever.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Like you could have done didn't know literally anything, didn't
opie like reach out to other people and be like,
oh my did she pass and like were you there
at the I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
It's just such a crazy lie to use as well,
where it's like, oh, yeah, she's not. It's like you
could have probably just immediately been honest and been like hey,
like I know this sucks, but like it kind of
works out for both of us because you don't have
to pay any more money to help me, and I
can get my treatments fully paid for and honestly, like,
(10:52):
I'm not just gonna cut you off forever. There's an
expiration date to this some comments to finish us off here.
My two cats are great, says Opie. I'm so sorry
you're going through this. You handled this amazingly though. You're
more thoughtful and mature at twenty two than your sister
is at forty one. Thing I wanted to point out though,
quote he felt I was in a better place now.
(11:14):
Was your dad just pulling this out of his butt
or does he have some way of keeping tabs on
you? You might want to look into this and see how
he is getting information about your life. Ohpi replies that
thought just sent sheells down my buine. I think he's
just making things up because there haven't really been any
changes of note in my life. And for Mrger says
(11:36):
she was reaching out now because he had given her permission.
She didn't even have the guts to actually reach out
to you, though, she just blankly added you on social media,
causing you to have one of the biggest mind f's
anyone could go through like. She could have added a
note explaining what happened and why she was actually reaching
out now. I'm so so sorry. I don't have any
(11:56):
real advice, but I just want to say that I
think you've handled this really sensibly so far. I'm glad
you have your partner to lean on right now, and
please be kind to yourself. Ope responds, Yeah, I'd honestly
rather still be kept in the dark. I think there's
a lot of emotions that I have to work through
regarding this, But my guy is a really solid dude,
(12:17):
and other than some very mild I told you sos,
he's been amazingly supportive. When OP was told to get
the money back that they gave the sister, they say,
I'm not really interested in getting any money back. Of course,
it would be immensely helpful, since I'm at the moment
trying to go back to school, still trying to pay
off my own medical debt, and playing with the idea
(12:38):
of a wedding. But that wasn't money taken from me
unfairly at the time. She was really in a spot
where she needed it, and I was happy to be
able to help. Plus I had a sister for a
while because of it, so I'm okay with just letting
that go. There's a comment from OP summing everything up
to finish us off. There are a lot of emotions
I have to work through. Still, I feel hugely betrayed
(13:00):
by this, especially because it was never a situation where
she was faced with the decision of cutting your sister
out or passing away. She wasn't having to turn down treatment.
She just didn't want to be shackled with all the debt.
I'm really frustrated and really hurt. And maybe I'm holding
her too high of a standard, because I know situations
(13:21):
are different for different people, but I was somewhat recently
in and out of the hospital for a hard condition,
and I would have given anything to have family that
actually cared about me.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I don't know either way.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
I'm resolved to more or less avoid her, so I'm
just trying to put it out of my head. And then,
for you, is the end of that story?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
If I were opening a situation like why why why?
Like Okay, you gave me a reason, I don't believe that.
Why is it? Like I just want the truth of
like did you just want more money? Like there's it
seems like there's so much more too than the reasoning
we got, and that's what ticks me off. I'm like you, yeah,
I think you see it in movies.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Move though. I think you see it in movies.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
You're like, oh, they fake their own or like, okay,
that makes sense, they want to get off the grid
or what have you. But then she's like posting holiday photos.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
That's why I think it's a grift.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
I think they were grifting, and uh, you know, I
don't know it's I think it's the wise move though,
to kind of just be like.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Look, something is weird here.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
I don't know why, I don't know what, but I
know it's weird. So I'm just removing myself from the
equation and they let's just don't give me the money
back whatever. I'm just letting you be. I'm glad you're okay,
I guess, but don't ask me for money anymore.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Don't talk to me.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
I don't want to connect with you.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
I finally found my step brother, but then he suddenly
disappeared on me. Is he a magician? And by the way,
this comes from our own subreddit.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
No way her own, one of our own.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
This story takes place over several years, and the outcome
is something that I can't get my mind off of.
A Couple of years ago, I thirty three female jumped
on the twenty three and me bandwagon and did a
DNA test to learn more about my heritage. I was
really into finding out where my family originated from and
was never interested in the family matching side of it,
knowing my huge family would yield hundreds of matches. By
(15:20):
the way, this comes from user Ella the Amulet and
if you want to submit your own stories, just like
Ella did, go to the r slash Okay storytime Sebert it. Yeah, yeah,
I'm Keon, I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and we're here to
give good advice Goofily, But we don't have all the answers.
We only know what we'd do, So let us know
what you would do in the comments, hope, he says.
(15:43):
Several months went by and I would get alerts about
new family matches, but never made the effort to see
who was there. At this point, it had been several
years since I moved out of my parents' house and
lived across the country, but in twenty eighteen, I had
to come back for several months to take care of
my mom and younger sister fifteen at the time, as
my mom was having major surgery. My sister has cerebral
(16:05):
palsy and is unable to care for herself, my mom
wouldn't be able to do any heavy lifting, and my
dad isn't the helping type of guy. During my stay,
I thought it would be fun to finally put time
into my ancestry and started building my family tree. I
also decided to revisit twenty three and MES as it
had more updates and features, but still didn't check out
(16:25):
the relative side. Looking back now, I kept avoiding it
for a reason, as I kept getting this gut feeling
that I needed to fully see the results. Finally, after
several weeks of the nagging feeling, I logged on with
my laptop and the results floored me. There was a
twenty five percent match with a man labeled as a
DW on my family tree. The descriptions that stated that
(16:48):
this person was related to me as a half sibling
from one of my parents rot row. I instantly felt
the blood drain from my face and was terribly ill. Second,
I thought it had to be a mistake, but after
checking his profile and seeing he came from the same
hometown as I did, there was no mistake. He was
(17:10):
the product of my father either having an affair or
before he met my mom again, he's not the type
of guy to help around. I took this information very hard,
not because I was upset that I had a long
lost sibling, but because I didn't know who he was,
how old he was, and how I was going to
break the news to my mom. My dad doesn't have
(17:33):
the cleanest record. I don't even have a relationship with
him anymore due to him just being a horrible human being.
For context, just weeks before this, my mom had found
out my dad had been cheating with a string of
adult workers and had gotten so bold as to let
them call the house phone when they were looking for him. Previously,
(17:54):
he's accused me. He's accused my mom of cheating and
stating that my sister isn't even his Oh my gosh.
All the stems from his own guilt, as my mom
is the definition of a saint projector.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
He's projecting.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
He's a projector, and my mother is incapable of what
my dad as accuser of. At this point, my mom
and dad aren't together anymore, thank goodness. They're still married
but are basically housemates sleeping in separate rooms, with my
dad avoiding divorce to keep the peace, but in reality
because he knows he's on the losing side if they
were too legally split. Things were tense regardless, and the
(18:32):
news of this new sibling wasn't helping much. But after
fighting internally with it, I decided to reach out to him.
I sent him a message simply stating that the results
matched us as siblings and that I had obvious questions.
I didn't expect a response much less, so soon after
a few hours, I saw a new message notification a
(18:52):
response from my brother. His name was Darryl, and he
said to ask ask away and that he had questions
as well.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Shortly afterwards, I received a notification on Instagram that I
had a new follower, followed by a message notification Daryl
had found my Instagram page. Before I opened his message,
the first thing I noticed when I saw his page
was we had this same tattoo.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
Mm huh, what what is this about to turn in
like a memory loss story?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
What we had to separate you from birth? Because if
you guys combine your tattoos, you'll open the ninth gate
of h double hockeys. Daddy Wombo, Yeah, this isn't your
typical everyday tattoo. This tattoo is inspired by a band
that isn't mainstream, But if you were to go to
a show of Theirs, you would see that almost every
fan has a rendition of this symbol. I felt an
(19:46):
instant connection and was in shock at the coincidence. I
also had a picture of it posted on my page,
so when I opened his message, he said he was
sorry for moving so fast that his husband actually couldn't
help help himself, and looked me up and was equally
shocked that we bore the same tattoo, and noted it
was kind of freaking can have Phareka?
Speaker 1 (20:07):
So y'all just like the same band.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
That's just cool coincidence, I think not. The second thing
I noticed was how similar he was to our dad.
I could tell he was on the shorter side and
in his self is his hands were identical to our father's.
I had no doubt he was my father's kid.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
He's got my father's hands, well, I can tell me
he's got my father's.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
I have never heard somebody be like they have the
same hands. Interesting. From there, it was message after message,
getting to know each other and realizing how much we
have in common. He told me about his life, how
he was conceived before my parents ever even met. His
mom was a substance addict adult worker in the eighties
in my hometown. How he was later placed in the
(20:50):
foster care system. He was eventually adopted by a nice
couple that he sees as his actual parents, and he
didn't want anything from my family or me. He just
wanted to know where he was from. I felt so
sad knowing all he'd been through, and was pissed at
my dad for causing this, but at this point I
still didn't know if my dad was even aware of him.
(21:11):
I told him as much. I was very straightforward about
the type of man our father was and that he
would never accept him. My dad is a closet guard
and hates anyone that dresses or looks out of the norm.
Darrel dies, his hair often is covered in tattoos and piercings.
I told him I was sorry for being the bearer
of bad news, and he said he was fine with it,
(21:31):
that he didn't have intentions of meeting or getting to
know our dad, as he already had his parents that
love and support him. Over the next several months to years,
we kept in touch with the promise of meeting each
other one day. Unfortunately, that day never came, as he
slowly started removing his social media pages. First was his
Instagram account. I quickly noticed and sent him a message
(21:52):
on snap asking if all was well since I noticed
his account was gone, and he said he was okay
but was experiencing hate issues. He's very left wing and
very vocal about BLM, LGBTQ, et cetera, so I figured
it had to do with something of that nature. Our
messages between each other also slowly stopped, until finally he
either shut down his Snapchat or blocked me without any explanation.
(22:16):
Before this, I had shared my number with him, but
he never called or texted. My final attempt at a
connection was returning to twenty three in me and sending
him a message letting him know that I didn't understand
why he stopped talking to me, but I respected his
wishes if that's what he wanted. He never responded. All
of our conversations were chill and there was never a
rift or confrontation, so I never truly knew the motive
(22:38):
behind him cutting me off. I kept the secret for
the longest time. I never told my dad, but I
did eventually tell my mom It wasn't until my last
visit in twenty twenty three that I finally broke My
mom and I were having a heart to heart when
I was talking to her about growing up and never
being never being told I was loved by her or
(22:59):
my dad. This led to deeper conversations about my depression
and my self worth and how my life had been
affected by all of those things. I eventually told her
that I had something I was hiding from her that
had been eating me alive for the last several years.
I told her everything, and it was so freeing good
on EUOPI. Surprisingly, she wasn't upset, she didn't cry, she
(23:22):
was irreally calm. She asked if I had told my dad,
and I told her, of course not, that there was
no point since my dad would say that I was
making it all up, or how can I possibly know
if those tests were even real? The worst part was
that the only proof I had was the twenty three
in me account. All those profiles and pictures of Daryl
were gone. She said I needed to tell him, but
(23:44):
I refused, though I though I said if she wanted,
if she wanted to, then she could. She said she
was going to save it and place it in her
arsenal for the future in the event that my dad
tried talking his nonsense again.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Ah.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Several months go by, It's my birthday. It's my birthday,
and I'm in the middle of eating dinner with my
husband at this restaurant I love. When I receive a
call from my mom. She wishes me a happy birthday
and starts chit chatting away as she normally does. Eventually
she drops the bomb on me that she confronted my
dad about my half brother. In that instant, my stomach
(24:20):
churned and I wasn't sure if I was ready for
her to tell me the story. Before I could stop her,
she gave me the rundown. It started when they were
talking about a relative having a kid out of wedlock.
My dad was making snarky comments about how dumb they
were to let something like that happen, and obviously not
being careful to not get caught cheating. What from the
(24:41):
cheating guy himself?
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Was your dad?
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Like? Who is your dad? What is up with that guy?
Speaker 2 (24:47):
My mom responded along the lines of I'm sure you
have a lot of them floating around, huh, And he,
without shame, said he probably had like ten.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Who are these people?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Who is this guy?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Who is this man? Hope you?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
I just want to talk to him. I want to
talk to your dad. It took all my mom's might
not to slap him and said told him she knew
of one, and essentially told him everything I had told her.
Turns out he knew.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Yeah, that doesn't surprise me after how he's been talking,
and the guy sounds like the most unbothered individual of
all time.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
At first, he tried to deny it and how could
she possibly know? My mom told him about the DNA
test and I called it. He tried to say it
was probably a lie. However, he quickly caved after my
mom started sharing the details. He was trusted.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
He knew the whole time.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
He's like, it's probably a lie. Trust me.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
I do that all the time. I'm constantly lying. Take
it from the horse I have the mouth. It's the lies,
he said.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
At the time, Darrel's mom showed Darrel to my dad,
but my dad didn't believe that Darryl was his. He
said that he thought the girl was Darryl's sister. For
all I know, she may be my sibling too, since
Daryl was dark and ugly, and she was fair skinned
and pretty. Those were his words, but he called.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
The baby ugly.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
His baby's too ugly to be my baby.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
I'm beautiful, ugly baby, coma.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
It's not what's on the outside, Papa, So it's on
on the inside, and you're the ugliest one of them all.
But didn't claim either because it wasn't his problem. My
mom called him a pig and told him he should
be ashamed of himself. Daryl suffered because of his choices.
My mom cried for him and told me she later
(26:42):
prayed for Daryl, praying to God that he is taken
care of and at peace with his life, and begged
for forgiveness about my dad being the sick person he was.
There's a little bit left. It's one of those things
where it's like, well, we already knew Dad sucked, and
this is just this is I don't even know how
you can multiply this by even more. But he's like
(27:03):
you just at this point, we should just kick Dad out.
Dad doesn't deserve anything good going for him. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Yeah, I don't know what kind of the separation agreement
is or the process, but come on, folks, it's it's
just like him.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Get him out of there. What are we doing? Where
do we need him to be? Where we want him
to be? I don't want him to be around us.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, he sucks. Back to the story, I felt sick.
I've never been more ashamed of being this man's blood
made me so angry that he would see people much
less his own flesh and blood children as disposable. I
shouldn't have been surprised after the way he treated me,
me who actually grew up in this same home, But
(27:45):
it was all still a shock, and it all just
solidified those negative feelings I had for my dad. I'm
kind of glad Darryl never found out this part of
his life because I don't want to know what it
would have done to him. Would he have been crushed,
would he have ever would he have ever cared? I'll
probably never know. I wanted to share the story to
(28:07):
kind of put it to rest, to try and find
my peace. I'm still sad about my brother. For a moment,
I thought I found my equal, someone who got me
and didn't make me feel so out of place. I
also just wish I knew how he was. Unfortunately he didn't.
Luck out with his dad's genetics and suffers from depression
like I do, but his is more severe. I hope
(28:28):
he's happy and living his best life. Darryl, if you
ever read this, just know your little sister still cares
and is still holding onto the chance of getting to
meet her big bro. Dang right there as oh man.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
That's that aw man. Ouch.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Yeah, again, it seemed like you guys wanted to do something.
But maybe Darryl, it could be again you can respect
his wishes of maybe he didn't need to figure that out,
figure that part of his life out. He seems like
he found people that love and cares for him. It
does suck for uop because again you found someone that
not only by blood but just by coincidence, you all
(29:08):
seem to mesh well.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Y'all have matching tattoos.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
But back, you know, you never know. Door doesn't necessarily
stay closed forever.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
But yeah, and I don't think you can take it
out in Darryl. I don't think it's like, Okay, we
were talking and then you just kind of fell off
fell off there, like what happened. It's just like all right, cool,
if the door opens again, great, if he reaches out great,
but just be happy that you know you found someone
that you're related to, and you guys, just in life,
(29:39):
you guys, you know at least cross paths that you
actually had the we were able to reach out to him,
and you know, even if it was for a moment,
I think he he loved. That. Gets your dad out
of there. I don't know your dad sucks. That's it.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Indeed, Hey, it's Sam, your og host.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Here.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
We're gonna get back to the stories. Here's three minutes
of ads from our sponsors.
Speaker 4 (30:02):
My father shamed me for being upset over something they caused.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
I'm shaming you anyways.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
I seventeen female, have a very strain relationship with my
dad forty eight and stepmom forty nine. Growing up, my
dad has always been the type of dad to be
told when to actually parent and not do it himself.
My parents separated when I was four years old, and
due to my mom working in pubs and my dad
working two jobs at the time, I ended up living
with my nan. By the way, this comes from Feeling
(30:32):
Orchid fifteen thirty four and if you want to smit
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story time,
Separate it I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, I'm Carly, and we're
here to give good advice. Goofy, But we don't have
all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So
let us know what you'd do in the comments, and
Ope says there was a system set up so every
two weeks I would go to my dad's on the weekends,
(30:55):
and on the weekends between I'd go to my mom's
so I could see them both. Even before I was born,
my dad was a crappy person and cheated on my mom.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Twice ah yikes.
Speaker 4 (31:07):
After I was born, she would do everything while he
would sit with a newspaper in front of the TV.
Once I moved into my NaN's and my granddad's house,
my Nan would have to chase after my dad to
get him to help pay for things. I have hypermobility
in my legs and it affects my feet really badly,
meaning I need to have supportive inserts and specific shoes,
(31:28):
which got expensive. My Nan and mom would pay some
and my dad would pay some same with school uniform
and supplies, but my Nan would have to text multiple
times to see any money from my dad to help out.
Just in general, he would be difficult to get a
hold of whenever it concerned me. In twenty twenty, my
nan passed away from cancer, so I moved in with
(31:51):
my mom as my granddad was struggling with having my
uncle and me living there. This then led to my
mom and dad coming to my coming to an agreement
where he would send my mom fifty pounds a week
two hundred pounds a month in total to dealt with
my food, uniform and supplies. That feels like, I don't know,
is that enough?
Speaker 2 (32:11):
No?
Speaker 4 (32:11):
For all of that.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
No, But I feel like what we're going to get
and what we already seen his dad is never going
to be enough.
Speaker 4 (32:19):
Yeah. When I got into year eleven, I had to
travel for two hours on a good day or three
to four hours on a bad day home from school.
What so me, my mom and dad decided that my
mom would get twenty five pounds from my dad instead
of fifty pounds, and I'd get the other twenty five
for travel train fairs. Now, I want to point out
(32:40):
that even though at first the money helped, soon because
of train fairs getting more expensive, the twenty five pounds
wasn't really helping me. My mom would have to send
me money a lot of the time so I could
actually get home and get something to eat, especially if
the travel was bad. That day, my mom tried to
speak to my dad and things got sour quick as
he thought it was more than enough to make matters worse.
(33:03):
My mom lost her job and went on child benefits
and universal credit. We lived in a council hostile for
a year and train fares went up again, so it
was hard with travel, but thankfully the hostel was closer
to my school. Also, at this time, my dad only
had one job, which was paying well. He told me
so himself. He didn't offer to help out with me
(33:27):
at all though, and I had stopped going every weekend
to his and my stepmoms, so he has more money
now and he's still not helping.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
And Lou says, uniforms are standard, they are standard zone
never mind. Yeah, but still why so far away one?
Speaker 4 (33:41):
That's what I'm wondering.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Also, I guarantee the dad was like back in my day. Yeah,
it cost only twenty five is so much? Twenty five
pounds it cost a cent?
Speaker 4 (33:49):
Yeah, I would have to confirm whether I was going
or not, as I was distancing myself from that side
of the family due to comments that were made. Now
on to the main issue. I'm many others, but there
are the bigger points that still get spoken about. Every year,
for my stepmom's birthday, sometimes not landing on it, whichever
week it was, we would go to a caravan site
(34:10):
for the weekend. There'd be pubs, arcades, and a clubhouse
for kids with a bar for adults. We went every
year and sometimes for Easter. As I got older, I
didn't have much in common with my cousins or family friends,
so I got left out a lot. I would always
end up alone in the arcade or on my phone.
Last year, my cousins and family friends were allowed to
(34:31):
bring friends and partners who my stepmom had not met
or met briefly, and they all hung out together, leaving
me out. I tried to join in, but they would
divert to what they wanted to talk about, which I
wasn't interested in as much. Now the actual issue this
year is my step mom's fiftieth birthday and the caravan
(34:51):
weekend is next weekend. Her birthday is next Tuesday. Since
it's her fiftieth, she and my dad are getting a
caravan alone, So I originally would have been in a
caravan with my half siblings and my half brother's girlfriend.
Now I always end up playing referee as my siblings
argue a lot, so I really wasn't comfortable staying in
a caravan with them, knowing there will be arguments. I
(35:14):
had asked originally if my best friend could come this time,
as pretty much everyone else going, the whole family and
many friends have friends and partners going. My stepmom hasn't
met her, but my dad is multiple times and likes her.
So I asked my dad to ask my stepmom if
she could come, as he would vouch. As he could
vouch for her. My friend is responsible, we both are,
(35:34):
so I knew we wouldn't do anything stupid. Over the weekend,
my dad got back to me and said that he
decided she couldn't come. I said okay and left it
at that. Then one day my mom asked about what
my dad said, so I told her that he said no.
She then offered to pay for a caravan for me
and my best friend Stan by ourselves dealt with space
(35:55):
and take the financial burden off them in case that
was the issue. So I mentioned it to my dad
what my mom was offering, and he blew up at
me for gone behind his back. I didn't. My mom
was being nice and offering to do this.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
You know. It's one of those things. It's like the
thing where you're like, you go, you asked your dad? Yeah,
You're like, Dad, can I can I get this? And
he's like, no, go ask your mom.
Speaker 4 (36:16):
Hmmm, and then and then OPI does and then gets
in trouble for it.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
My dad then got my stepmom to be to message
me and basically she said, it's my birthday, I choose
who comes, not you, which I understand wholeheartedly. It's her
birthday weekend, so obviously she chooses who comes. But I
wasn't forcing this honor. I was just giving an option
that my mom gave. They both then said that they
didn't want to be responsible for anything, which they wouldn't
(36:44):
be as my mom was paying for it and my
brother on my mom's side would be staying with us,
so we had an adult with us. It basically got
to the point where they both told me I disappointed
them and then didn't speak to me for two weeks.
They both started messaging me acting like nothing happened. I
then posted a TikTok from the trend You're so funny. Thanks,
(37:07):
Then you say what bad thing happened? Mine said thanks,
I got shamed for expressing my feelings for the first
time and got told I disappointed them for starting something,
and then didn't speak to me for two weeks. Then
they decided to message me on separate days, acting like
they didn't shame me or I have a go at me,
when all I wanted was for them to listen and
understand my perspective for once rather than their own. That's long.
(37:29):
Who was gonna say, also give you it gives no contact.
They both saw it. I clearly didn't name them. I
even have a screenshot of my original video if anyone
needs to see it. And they both commented and started
messaging me angrily, so clearly they knew it was about them. Okay, Opie, Opie,
you posted a really petty TikTok.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Of course they're gonna know, at least specific to anybody,
this is oh piece of cow.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
Oh what TikTok did they post? Oh, it's that's about us.
They've always acted that way, as in shaming my feelings
and disrespecting them. My stepmom then blocked me after getting
pissed off or blasting her on TikTok. Well, technically I didn't,
as I didn't mention them directly, so it says enough
(38:20):
that they knew it was about them. Again, pretty obvious
that it was about them, Pretty obvious. But there is
a little bit left of this story. I feel like
it is somewhat valid for the stepmom to be like,
I don't want you to bring a random friend I
don't know to my birthday celebration.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
That's I think this is all very fair. Again, I
feel like your mom not necessarily. Maybe it's not true.
Maybe it is. I feel like your mom's kind of
like making decisions for this event when.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
Yeah, that shouldn't be Yeah, I mean it's for like
the step.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Step mom, so it's like stepmom's birthday. Yeah, and again
maybe she should have had a conversation with your dad
about it and maybe your step mo. I'm like, hey,
Opie deserves a friend. You know, everyone has friends going. Yeah,
the brothers got like, I feel like there was like
a little miscommunication there. But again, if if it is
the step mom's birthday, yeah, and I got I.
Speaker 4 (39:15):
Know she may suck. Still, I don't want to discredit
experience with you know, stepmom. But I think in this
situation it.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Is it's the roles reversed. Yeah, I OPI. It was
your birthday and your step mom was coming, and she's like,
I'm inviting my friend. Yeah, and you're like and she's like,
how do you feel about that? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (39:37):
But there's a little left. Anyways, my mom still booked
the caravan for me and my friend, but my dad, stepmom,
et cetera don't know that we're going.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
That's not gonna be great.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
Are you going to the same place, So we're just
going for a holiday and not her birthday. If they
have a problem, then they can treat me like an
adult and actually listen to me. This is a bad idea.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
This is a very bad idea. You're gonna post this.
I'm TikTok yep.
Speaker 4 (40:02):
Then my dad used my NaN's will to bribe me
into talking to him face to face about it. All.
I did speak to him, and he didn't let me
get a word in whatsoever. Like always, many things have
happened with my dad being like this, which has put
me in tears, saying I hate him, and just some
other things. In general. I'm at the point where I'm
certain I will cut them all off once I turn eighteen,
as I won't need my dad's financial aid that he
(40:24):
sends me each week. I know some things I have
done aren't right, but I just need an outside opinion
that isn't my mom or my friends who know of
this so read it. Would I be the able if
I were to cut them all off after everything that's happened,
and that's the end of that story.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
I mean, this is not on U.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
Op.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
Yeah, this is definitely on your mom and your your
dad having a conversation.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
Parents are probably kind of putting opee in the middle
of this, That's what I'm saying. Like the mom's like, ah,
I'm gonna do what they don't feel like.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
I feel like they're using op as like a like
a ping pong ball of like yeah haha, no haha,
like she yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:04):
And also op in terms of like would it be
the ale if I cut them off? I don't think
you would be the a hole. If you truly have
a terrible relationship with your dad and just cannot be
around them, then yeah, you know, do what you need
to do, but just uh be aware that in this
situation you know, I don't know. If this is the
(41:26):
only situation that you're basing this off of, I probably
wouldn't have cut them off. But if it's kind of
a like a comp just foundation of a bunch of
different things, then maybe yeah, yeah, I don't have to
know other scenarios, because from just this one scenario, I'd
be like.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
Dad said no, yeah, was like dad said no, yeah,
and mom said yes yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:50):
Not talking to you for two weeks that was crazy.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
We've all been there. I've been there. I'm assuming you've
been there. Carly's maybe been there. I don't know. I'm
not speaking for everyone, but I've been there where I'm like, hey,
parent A, could I do this? Or could I go out?
Or could I invite a friend? Or can I go
to whoever? Cah I go do this? And they say no,
and then parent B says sure of course you can,
(42:13):
and you're like, just use that they said yes, yes,
said yes, I'm gonna go, and the other parents like
I said no, and then it becomes a huge thing
and guess they're like, well I said yes, and they
just turned towards you and be like, what are you
to do?
Speaker 4 (42:26):
Yeah, so you have to choose.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Here, it's John, your og host.
Speaker 5 (42:30):
Here.
Speaker 3 (42:31):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a
quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
I ruined my cousin's life. Just why existing?
Speaker 4 (42:39):
Well, maybe you should stop. We're ruining his life, not existing,
continue to exist.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
Okay, trigger warding verbal So I eighteen female have always
had weird drama with my cousin Casey twenty three female.
For some reason, she's always had this bizarre obsession with
being in competition with me while loving my older sister
twenty four female like she's God's favorite. No idea why
(43:07):
I gave up trying to figure it out years ago.
By the way, this comes from user Lily g. And
if you want to submit your own stories, you could
submit them to the r slash. Okay, sorry time starbur it.
I'm Keon, I'm Sophia, I'm Carly. We're here to give
good advice, Googly, but we don't have all the answers.
Just flease. We only know what we do, so let
us know what you would do in the comments. Ohpi
(43:29):
says for context, she lived with us from middle school
up to now because of family issues, and even then
she treated me like a punching bag, and unfortunately it
worked for a while. I had under baggy clothes, avoided people,
and had zero confidence. Fast forward to junior high I
started finding myself made some friends, got a little style,
(43:51):
learned makeup from my sister, and got into my nineties
baggy clothes but cute era heck yeah coming back. Casey
hated every second of it, claimed I was copying her.
She wore baggy hoodies and sweats with crocs every day.
It got worse when I got a boyfriend and she
dead but tried to steal him. My mom had to
(44:11):
intervene multiple times, while my dad kept telling me to
let it go. She's been through a lot. Spoiler alert,
She's been through a lot her entire life. According to everyone,
I graduated high school early at sixteen with honors and
college credits. She hated it and called me a dumb
prick who wouldn't get far. She didn't even come to
(44:31):
my graduation. Meanwhile, she dropped out of college twice. Projection.
I think, yeah, I think so. What made it worse
was I found out I was pregnant in November, and
Casey immediately started telling family. I didn't know who the
father was. That could have been multiple men. Casey, mind
(44:52):
your dang business, Casey, Casey, Casey, Oh, well, mind you.
I'd been with my boyfriend for two years at this
point when no one believed her, but she tried to
take the attention off of me and tried to get
pregnant herself. She admitted to this, but it was a fail.
We were all there for her. I even wore baggy
clothes so she wouldn't feel triggered seeing my bump. Still,
(45:14):
every time I had a craving or talked about my pregnancy,
she made it about her. She would literally cry at
the dinner table because it should have been her dramatic
right then, when I announced my baby's name, she went
and got a customed blanket made with the same name
and her du date, claiming I stole it. The name
(45:35):
was my mom's mother's name, who she has no relation to.
She's my dad's niece. Eventually I kept the name. We're
planning my baby shower, talking about decorations and food. When
she loudly scoffs from the living room. No one cares.
Speaker 4 (45:51):
Is she's still here? Can we just get her out?
Speaker 2 (45:55):
We ignore her? Yeah, we said, the baby's name again,
and here she goes, uh name you stole from me.
Speaker 4 (46:02):
I'm sorry if someone yelled no one cares. When I
was announcing baby, I'd be like, uh, can you shut up?
Can you leave? If you don't care, you can go.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
I rolled my eyes because why are you still on this.
I'm showing my mom a pick of a customed Carci
cover I ordered. She storms in with her own baby
stuff she bought, mumbling hopefully I don't steal her ideas,
like I have most of her things already. I don't
want your ideas. Once again, I ignored her, and my
(46:32):
mom told her she loved them when she sees me
not caring. She then went full on explode mode, accuses
of me of copying her, being jealous, needing to heal
before I bring a baby into this world, and rainally
brings up the hormonal hygiene struggles I've been having lately
that she overheard me talking about. We left to the
backyard where my sister was, and this woman followed us out, screaming,
(46:57):
saying we treat her worse than her own parents did.
That's a big lie. My parents have babied her for
years while she treated me like dirt. My dad eventually
came upstairs from the basement because she was so loud.
He asked what was going on, and for once, instead
of coddling her, he went off. He straight up said, Casey, for.
Speaker 5 (47:16):
God's sake, I love you, but what is your problem?
You pick fights constantly, you play victim, and you're not
in middle school anymore. If you want to stay here,
you need to get your act together. I can't keep
doing this with you, or picking, or you picking with
a teenager who has done nothing to you.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
She was shell shocked.
Speaker 4 (47:40):
Finally put in her place.
Speaker 2 (47:42):
She stormed her room, packed a bag and left. Later,
she texted me this You've won. I can't fight you anymore.
You've always ruined my life. Even when I was with
my parents, you were always the favorite, and I always
hated you. You ruin everything for me, and now I
(48:04):
feel kind of bad. I didn't respond, and no one's
heard from her since. I would have responded with like
cup pong or something, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (48:13):
Would you like to play game?
Speaker 5 (48:14):
I am?
Speaker 2 (48:14):
I going to play Battleship. Yeah, that's so cool. Update.
Hey you guys, I'm honestly all overwhelmed by all the responses.
I didn't expect this to blow up like it did,
but thank you so much for the kindness, advice, and support.
You're welcome.
Speaker 4 (48:27):
You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (48:28):
I wanted to answer some of the questions I've been
seeing a lot in the comments. One was she the
youngest girl before me? Yes, she was the last girl
born for five years before I came along. Our family's
mostly boys, with only a few girls, so I do
think that may have played a part in how she
felt about me.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
Two.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
Why didn't my parents get her into therapy? My mom
has tried several times to give into my dad to
get us all into therapy, but he's one of those
people who doesn't believe in it. He always told us
to pray or write it down, which honestly helped me
at times growing up. But she definitely needed professional help,
and she still does. I've asked him recently to consider it,
(49:10):
and he just rolled his eyes and ignored me. Three
my parents' ages. My mom is forty six and my
dad is fifty seven. They've been married since nineteen ninety eight,
so about twenty six years now. Four What happened with
her parents? Well, we live on the East Coast and
they were all the way in Oakland, California. That's for contact. No,
we haven't spoken to them since they lost custody of her. Five.
(49:34):
Why was I so nice to her because I genuinely
looked up to her My older sister was never really
around much, and I thought she and I could be
close like sisters. I really wanted that six was their favoritism,
Not really. No, I feel like we were treated fairly
for the most part. If anything, she got a little
more attention and was doted on more, probably because of
what she'd been through. Oh, because of what she's been through.
(49:56):
I only got extra toys when I was little because
I was four years old and too small to do
the stuff they did. Seven. Where is she now? No
one has heard from her since she left. She's blocked
all of us, and as far as we know, she
doesn't have a job or anywhere stable to go, which
honestly makes me nervous because it's likely she'll try to
come back eventually. So we're keeping our eyes open and
(50:19):
being cautious, and we have some comments. He he he
he he he. Don't feel bad, lol. She constantly was
an a hole to you, and when she didn't get
her away, she threw a pissy fit and ran off.
She'll either be back or crash somewhere else, regardless. It's
not the last you'll hear of her, all right, Opie responds,
(50:44):
part of me wants her to stay gone. My parents
are out here, low key worried, so that's what really
makes me feel guilty. Chicken nuggets and subs. Make sure
she is on the no list if you put the
baby in daycare and even the church nursery. She seems
very sadly unhinged and needs therapy help. He responds, Oh,
(51:05):
trust she's going on the list. I'm not taking any
chances with my little one around that chaos. You're absolutely right,
better safe than sorry when it comes to mental health.
Uh procrastinators supreme. Don't ever leave her alone with your baby,
and don't let anyone else leave her alone with your baby.
Be sure your child gets all its checkups, doctor visits,
(51:28):
et cetera. She seems like she'd call protective services on
made up charges too. Be careful. She may appear better
in the future, but I'd be wary of her for
a very long time. Electrical Elk five three six says,
when she was screaming at you, she was screaming about
everything she hates about herself. She's jealous and has unresolved issues.
(51:50):
She's done well, but that's not a free past to be.
To be awful. Distance yourself as much as possible from her,
let her stay away. I'm sorry the adults in your
life didn't protect you like they should have from her
terrible behavior. You're not the a hole, Nope, he responds.
He means a lot hearing that, And yeah, I wish
the adults had stepped in sooner too, But I'm grateful
(52:10):
my dad finally saw it for what it was. I'm
definitely focusing on keeping my distance and protecting my peace judgment,
not the a hole. Yeah, uh, yeah, you did nothing wrong.
Speaker 4 (52:22):
Yeah, this girl's a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (52:24):
Yeah, you did nothing wrong that we know of.
Speaker 4 (52:26):
But yeah, you've not told us about anything you did wrong.
Speaker 2 (52:28):
Yeah, and we have an update. We're going straight into it.
Seven days later. Who well, we all called it. Casey
ended up coming back about two days later, wasted and
higher than ever. It was around one am. I was asleep,
but apparently my parents were still up watching a movie
when she came in. My dad, who's a recovering heavy drinker.
(52:48):
And has been sober since I was fourteen. Was furious
and disappointed. They tried to sit her down to talk,
but she just cried and said she was tired and
wanted to lay down, so they let her go upstairs.
A little while later, my parents stepped outside to the
back patio for a smoke break, and of course, while
they were outside and out of earshot, Casey came to
(53:10):
my room. Oh boy, oh no. I woke up to
her trying to open my door. Thankfully it was locked.
It was locked.
Speaker 4 (53:20):
Good.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
She started whisper shouting for me to open it, calling
me a piece of crap, and saying we needed to talk.
When I told her to go away and that we
can talk in the morning, she started banging on my door,
kicking it and saying that I would never be prettier
than her and that I was the ugly black sheep
in the family. I told her to go to bed again,
(53:42):
but she wasn't done. She threatened me, saying that if
she saw me tonight, it wouldn't be good for me.
Speaker 4 (53:48):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (53:49):
At that point I started recording and sent a video
to my dad. He came rushing back inside and went off.
He told her she wasn't staying another night in the house,
and she needed to start packing as soon as possible.
Speaker 4 (54:01):
Finally, get her out.
Speaker 2 (54:03):
Coming home wasted and bullying me again was unacceptable, and
she needed to figure out where she was going in
the morning. She broke down crying again, claiming we were
all she had and that she just wanted to talk.
All right, alright, five seconds ago, you were threatening me
that if you saw me in my own house.
Speaker 4 (54:19):
Pretty big switch up.
Speaker 2 (54:21):
That ud good. My dad didn't budge this time. He
told her the only person she needed to talk to
was a therapist.
Speaker 4 (54:28):
Yes, finally, your dad's actually.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
Listening to you, and until she got professional help, she
wasn't welcome here. She was shocked because, like I said before,
my dad was has always been old school and kind
of coddled her. But not this time. My mom came
inside mid conversation, sat her down, and apparently had a
heart to heart about how unacceptable it was for her
(54:52):
to live in our home while treating me like garbage.
Speaker 1 (54:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:57):
I was watching the whole thing go down on the
security cameras from my phone because yes, I'm that petty. Yeah,
But then my sister Monica started texting me taking Casey's side. Oh.
She asked me to stop making it so hard with Casey,
saying she only wanted to talk. I told her it
was one o'clock in the morning and I was barely
(55:17):
able to get out of bed, so I didn't want
to talk. Monica responded that she was tired of me
playing the victim and that I was exhausting and making
things harder to deal with. I replied that I had
cooked for them, cleaned up after them, always tried to
be nice, and neither of them did anything for me.
I told her to stop texting me and to say
good night. I cried. I always looked up to both
(55:39):
of them, even after everything, but this was my breaking point.
So here's where we are now. Casey left the next
morning to go stay with the friend. She's been texting
and calling my parents begging them to reconsider, but they're
standing firm. If she wants to be a part of
this family, she needs therapy first, no exceptions.
Speaker 4 (55:58):
Agreed.
Speaker 2 (56:00):
Heavily agreed. As for my older sister, Monica, we haven't
spoken since those texts.
Speaker 4 (56:05):
You know what, Monica can go deal with this girl
if she loves her so much, Yeah, you can deal
with her, she can have her to live with her
and then everything's fine. Yeah, put your money with your
mouth this.
Speaker 2 (56:17):
My mom noticed and asked what was going on, but
I told her to ask her daughter because I had
nothing to say. So there's a little bit left, Syvia.
What do you?
Speaker 5 (56:26):
What do you?
Speaker 2 (56:27):
What do we do?
Speaker 4 (56:28):
I think you're I mean your dad's kicked her out,
Casey out. Uh, she's not, hopefully not going to be
around you. I think you block her.
Speaker 2 (56:38):
I would block, I would block. I'm maybe like I
might need to get a restraining order.
Speaker 4 (56:43):
Yeah, she's threatening you, and then you just go no
contact with her, and then you tell your dad that
she threatened you.
Speaker 2 (56:49):
I've officially uninvited both Monica and Casey from my baby shower.
Neither of them will be involved with my baby, and
my mom said, it's my decision. No aunt Monica, no cousin.
My dad's standing firm too, no more excuses, no more drama.
And me, I'm focusing on my pregnancy, my business, and
(57:09):
reclaiming my piece. This is supposed to be a happy
time for me, and I'm done letting them take that away.
I deserve to be excited about this baby without guilt.
Thank you to everyone who's been so kind, offered advice
and reminded me that I don't have to tolerate this treatment.
It means more than you know. And we have some
comments here comments the thief Empress. When I had my daughter,
(57:32):
I was hit with the absolute fact that this was
a person. I had made a person, and oh my god,
that made me a person too, and I knew I
could no longer allow people to treat me like I
wasn't a person, because my daughter would grow up thinking
that I'm not a person, and by extension, she wasn't
a person either. I stand it for myself, talk back,
(57:53):
refuse denial of facts, and do what I know is
right for us. And she sees that You'll see it too,
and your baby will thrive on it. Hepy responds, thank
you for sharing this. It really moved me. I love
it you connected your own sense of worth and agency
to the example you're setting for your daughter. It's such
a powerful reminder that how we treat ourselves shapes how
(58:13):
our children see themselves. I'm taking this to heart and
I hope to be that kind of strengthen example from
my little one too, and that here's the end.
Speaker 4 (58:22):
Yeah, worry about your baby. Don't worry about Casey. Get
her out of your life.
Speaker 1 (58:27):
Yeah,
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