My sister wouldn’t let my daughter be her flower girl…I’ll never talk to her again! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are
the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
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get into the episode.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
My sister wouldn't let my daughter be a flower girl.
I'll never talk to her again.

Speaker 4 (00:20):
You gotta stand up for your daughter.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
Throw those flowers out there. Yeah yeah, So, I twenty
eight female, have a sister, twenty six female, who got
married last month. I'm gonna be blunt. My sister has
always been one of those people that has to have
everything perfect, to the point sometimes it was hard to
be around her. But she was my little sister and
I have no other siblings, so I've always made excuses
when she'd hurt me when I was doing the right

(00:43):
things in her eyes. By the way, this comes from
user Otro on the ar slash Okay Storytime subord it.
So I was kind of nervous when she asked me
and my daughter for to be bridesmaids in February because
I knew she was going to be a massive bridezilla.

Speaker 4 (00:57):
Sound a good sign? I feel like oh, I already no.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
Like Honey Dewey, do we really want to be part
of Auntie's wedding.

Speaker 4 (01:03):
I don't think we want to do that.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
Over the last few months, we've had to practice multiple dances,
pay for very expensive dresses, and put up with her tantrums.
I told her from the start if she was anyway
nasty to my child, I wouldn't stand for it. She
assured me she'd never be nasty towards her. Again, this
is her favorite person in the whole world.

Speaker 4 (01:23):
Foreshadowing hmm.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
Well, now her husband's little cousin eightish, I think, started
coming to dance practice with her mom, and my sister
started to ask her to do little things like show
my daughter how to throw the pedals. I honestly thought
she'd make them both flower girls for a while, But
when she started to make my daughter sit out and
have the little girl do with her poem, I knew
what was gonna happen, but I prayed.

Speaker 4 (01:45):
I was ring. Oh Pie's daughters get getting recast that stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
You're getting recasted, girl, Sorry, you just didn't fit the part.

Speaker 4 (01:53):
You didn't just didn't cut it.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
You didn't make the cut.

Speaker 4 (01:55):
Not everyone's cut. Out for this kind of business.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
I invited her out to a coffee a few weeks
before the wedding and asked her what was going on.
She told me she was glad I brought it up
because she was looking for the right time. Apparently my
four year old wasn't doing everything right and she was
afraid she was gonna mess up her vision by saying
the wrong thing or not doing the dance right on
the day.

Speaker 4 (02:18):
She's four.

Speaker 3 (02:19):
She's four years old.

Speaker 4 (02:19):
She's not gonna do it perfectly. That's not why you
have a flower girl.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
It's not supposed to be perfect. I mean, yes, I
know you want your day to be perfect, but.

Speaker 4 (02:25):
It supposed to be a little four year old being cute.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
It's so cute.

Speaker 3 (02:28):
If they mess up, it's cute, it's cute. It's not
gonna This is not like make or break wedding.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yeah, I told her she was doing a pretty good
job and everyone was always praising her. Sister giggled and said,
it's not their day now, is it?

Speaker 4 (02:43):
Oh my god? I can just imagine her going, it's
not thir day now.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
If it's not their day, So it's not up to us.
What's good enough for her wedding. I asked her straight up,
did she think her niece wasn't good enough to be
in her wedding. She replied with not as oh say.
He replied with not as something big as a flower girl.
But to attend, that's like the flowerl is like the
easiest part.

Speaker 4 (03:06):
They just throw flowers grow.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
Dude again, When the little kids run around and they
screw up, it's so cute, it's gotta happen. It makes
everyone go, oh yeah, gross. I hate how he did that.
I asked her how I was going to break it
to my daughter, who's so excited about being in the wedding.
She just told me to figure it out.

Speaker 4 (03:25):
Your sister sucks.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
I told her I'd give her a day to rethink
her decision. If not, we wouldn't be attending. Not speaking
to her ever again, then left, Yeah, put.

Speaker 4 (03:33):
Your foot down, don't let her walk all over your daughter.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
Well, two days went by, so I couldn't put it
off any longer. I broke the news to my child.
Even though I tried my hardest and sugarcoated as much
as possible, the news still broke her heart. She cried
herself to sleep, so did I and my husband.

Speaker 4 (03:50):
Ah, that's so sad. She was looking forward to being
the flower girl and she just had her dreams ripped
from her.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
That's so sad and dambuse your sister suck. Well. After
a week when I was a no show for anything,
my sister started to panic and started to get everyone
to talk to me, even drop off gifts for my daughter.
When I told them why, a good number of our family,
including bridesmaids, dropped out.

Speaker 4 (04:15):
Yes, this is they're standing on business to you know,
hurt your daughter.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
No, it's a four year old sister. For freak's sake. Man.
We ended up going for a few weeks away with
no phones. When we came back, my sister had sent
me multiple letters and emails apologizing. Her in laws and
husband had called me an a hole for doing what
I did. Edit brother in law saw this post and
told my sister, who cried reading all your comments. How

(04:43):
do I know? Because they showed up at my job
knowing I wouldn't want a scene. They begged me to
delete the post before people they know see it, and
kept apologizing. Finally, my sister said she might be pregnant.

Speaker 4 (04:55):
I don't care. I literally don't worry.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
When your daughter or son whoever wants to be the
ring bearer for I don't know. You already have a husband,
so it's not gonna work. Never mind cut that out.

Speaker 4 (05:06):
But you.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
Don't deserve it, I said. Even if she is pregnancy
doesn't wash away all the crappy things she's done. And
I hope her husband's siblings never treat her child the
way she treated mine because I don't plan to be
a part of her life.

Speaker 4 (05:20):
Damn. Yeah, well, I mean her sister was pretty nasty.

Speaker 3 (05:23):
Yeah, and she do doesn't seem like it. It's not
their day. She burst it into tears, saying she was
sorry and she loves my daughter. I told her to
leave before I called security, and her husband tried to
talk to me alone because I was making her so
upset and everyone was cold towards them because of me.
I told them, no, everyone was cold because Cinderella and

(05:44):
Prince Charming forgot that they were treating everyone like crap,
that no one wanted to be in their happy ever After,
they didn't like my mocking tone and raise their voices
at me, my boss told them to leave. Who knows
the situation and has a five year old herself? So
she's on my side everyone.

Speaker 4 (05:59):
Because kind of crazy. If your boss was like, no,
I'm kind of signing with your sister who I've never
met before.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
No, I was gonna say, I think everyone's on your side. Yeah,
there's no one other than that.

Speaker 4 (06:08):
I mean, she bullied a four year old.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
She bullied a four four year old, made a four
year old cry. She just ruined her because every little
girls like I want to be the flower girl.

Speaker 4 (06:17):
Yeah, and then everyone dropped out of her wedding.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
It's on her, that's what you get. My sister's mother
in law reached out to my parents asking for everyone
to meet up on neutral terms so we can all
work out our differences. I'm gonna go to this dinner
party because I want to hear their story and officially
tell them leave me alone. I will update you guys
important at it. Ooh, my sister's photographer saw this post
and reached out to me on here.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
How was everyone finding this post?

Speaker 3 (06:40):
Yeah, this mst be a really small town or again,
everyone just spread the post. She knew my full name
and she gave me her Instagram to confirm. This goes
deeper than my daughter not dancing. Apparently she overheard my
sister's mother in law and aunt in law talking in
the bathroom. They use slurs against my daughter and husband.

Speaker 4 (06:56):
Oh it's racism. Ah, there it is.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
I guess it's all excuse now, all's good.

Speaker 4 (07:03):
Oh that's why she didn't want the freaking four year
old in her wedding because she was a racist. I
hate her literally, never talked to her again.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
They called me the black man's.

Speaker 4 (07:15):
Or your sister is the devil that was.

Speaker 3 (07:19):
The sister didn't say that. Oh, this was the mother
in law and the in law so, oh my god.
The brother in law or brother in law, the new
husband yeahah, family said this.

Speaker 4 (07:30):
Well, I wonder if they like they were the ones
who were trying to like say, oh, we don't want
her to be the flower girl. Yeah, which still makes
the sister that's the worst.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
The worst. The photographer said they were both wasted. But
brother in law also made jokes around my sister earlier
in the day, which she smiled at.

Speaker 4 (07:46):
Oh my god, disgusting.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
She also thinks my family members heard it and it's
the reason they dropped.

Speaker 4 (07:52):
That does make sense. I actually was kind of wondering
because I was like, oh, it doesn't I don't know
if it necessarily makes sense for people to drop out
because a four year old can't beat the flower. But
this makes a lot.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
More, it makes more sense. Still still crappy human beings.
So yeah, my daughter wasn't a flower girl because unlike me,
her aunt or the other flower girl, she doesn't have
blue eyes and blonde hair.

Speaker 4 (08:14):
Yeah, you're this This family sucks.

Speaker 3 (08:17):
If you're reading this, Sarah and Frank, if you and
your family, my child is too good to be around
trash like you, Yes, both stay the f away from us.
And if anyone died, my family knew the real story
and didn't tell me. Af you two m Edit number four.
Thanks everyone for the love and support, but especially thank
you to the photographer who came forward. Thank you so
much for bringing this to my attention before I let

(08:39):
them back into our lives. You're a real one. Edit five.
So I thought i'd answer a lot of questions that
kept getting asked because I'm tired and we'll be going
to bed soon. My parents are fully on my side,
so are multiple other family members. The ones that aren't
have been cut off. My daughter doesn't know the full story,
but as a treat for all of us. We plan
to take her to Disneyland for Christmas. As for my sister,

(09:01):
some people have mentioned she might be in an abusive relationship. Well,
her husband is from old money and his family is
very well connected in England, which is something she always wanted.
So I don't know if she is in a bad
relationship and afraid it's up to my husband to forgive her,
not me. I don't know if anyone should be forgiving her.

Speaker 4 (09:20):
But we're not looking for forgiveness. We're just looking for
you guys to join us live every weekday at three
PMPST on YouTube.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
Just top our profile, step her profile. My brain went,
did you see v Just go per?

Speaker 4 (09:34):
That was a hard one.

Speaker 3 (09:35):
There's another relevant update and looks like we're continuing of
the list back to the story again, so this edit.
You can post this wherever you like. Please don't message
me again, and I will not give up the photographer's
information because she wants to stay anonymous. Another point, I
found out three family members knew, including a bridesmaid that
dropped out new. I found out three family members.

Speaker 4 (09:56):
Yeah, I found a messed up that they didn't say anything.

Speaker 3 (09:59):
Yeah, I found out three family members knew, including a
bridesmaid that dropped out new Okay, I've seen a lot
of people making fun of the fact me and my
husband cried ourselves to sleep that night. My daughter found out.

Speaker 4 (10:09):
What like, you're just like your parents and you're seeing
your child's you know, seeing your.

Speaker 3 (10:14):
Child said really sad, said it made me sad, So sad?
Have it made you guys?

Speaker 4 (10:18):
Sad means they made you guys out put in the chat.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
We didn't cry about her not being a flower girl,
nor did we cry while she was awake. We cried
because our child was extremely hurt. And there's no worse
feeling than your child thinking they're not good enough for
someone they love.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
Ah.

Speaker 4 (10:35):
I hate this sister.

Speaker 3 (10:36):
I hate the sister for the commenter who was extremely
nasty about my husband crying. A father's love is equal
to a mother's. Men do and are allowed to have emotions.
Just do better, h hot take men have emotions. Yeah,
I have cried before.

Speaker 4 (10:53):
Men cry more men.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
You know what.

Speaker 4 (10:55):
I talked to a lot of men and they're like,
I haven't cried in months, and I'm like, I cried yesterday.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
She's being real, she did cry yesterday. Here's a joy.

Speaker 4 (11:03):
Why did I cry.

Speaker 3 (11:03):
I don't know, I didn't mean.

Speaker 4 (11:06):
I didn't actually cry yesterday.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
But I guarantee you the commenture was a man, Yeah,
was a man.

Speaker 4 (11:15):
My grandfather is a cheater and a hypocrite, so I
told him off at the family dinner.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
MM throw some potatoes out of that one.

Speaker 4 (11:22):
Start some tea, start some drama.

Speaker 3 (11:25):
Get some tea ready, throw it at him.

Speaker 4 (11:27):
Hi, I have a bit of a situation that includes
some family drama and would like some comments on the situation. Also,
this history includes some unhinched people, cheating, screaming, and year's
worth of lies. So I, twenty four female, recently got
into a bit of a fight with my grandpa's sixty
seven male. For context, Grandpa cheated on Grandma during the
time I was born. Then one day he just packed

(11:47):
some of his things told Grahama I was over because
he fell in love with his affair partner fifty nine
female and left her the house and their four kids.
By the way, this comes from Cactus in the Making
on the Okay storytime subvert it. So he came back
a few months later sad and penniless.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
That's what you get, old man Karma.

Speaker 4 (12:06):
A fair partner left him because he ran out of money.
Grandma let him back in, and not even six months later,
he cheated with a fair partner again, this time for
good Grandma.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
Why the worst Grandma or cloud for the old man
by old man.

Speaker 4 (12:20):
I was one year old at the time, so obviously
this comes from what family told me, But basically, there
was a lot of drama and Grandma ended up depressed,
no money, no house. The landlord was a friend of
Grandpa and kicked her out.

Speaker 3 (12:32):
I hate this story.

Speaker 4 (12:33):
It sucks. That is really so messed up. With three
kids that were barely adults and a minor, the family
ended up divided, with two of the kids leaving my
grandma alone because of her depression, and my mom and
aunt staying with her. So on to the recent events,
Grandpa hasn't been very involved in my life because I
naturally don't like a fair partner. My reasons do include
the cheating part, but I didn't like her even before

(12:55):
I knew all the things that went down, so it's
a factor not the whole reason. I rarely see him,
and after almost six years of putting the effort to
keep my relationship with him, I gave up because it
actually hurt me. Yes, I did talk about this with
my therapist and I'm currently doing okay. Two weeks ago,
he invited my family mom, dad, sis, bro, myself over

(13:16):
for dinner, and over meal, the topic of morals comes up.
This must go well, it's probably got lots to say
about morals, like, I'm a.

Speaker 3 (13:25):
Terrific guy, I know everything about morals.

Speaker 4 (13:28):
Grandpa starts bad mouthing my aunt's ex, saying he's a
dead beat, He's not, and whatnot. Eventually he says that
the guy has no morals or concepts of family, and
I snapped, Look, I don't even know why, but I
unloaded everything I told him. Someone who cheated and abandoned
his wife not once, but twice shouldn't be talking about
morals or family.

Speaker 3 (13:48):
Let's go op, yes, that.

Speaker 4 (13:50):
He was the deadbeat who left his wife and kids
to fend for themselves and now has the audacity to
criticize a man that actually cares about his daughter. A
fair part said something about how I was acting crazy again.

Speaker 3 (14:02):
Oh no, doy, it's the affair partner freaking.

Speaker 4 (14:05):
A fair partner. She thinks I'm mentally unstable because I
have anxiety and depression, even though I haven't needed any
medication for over a year and I'm doing pretty well,
Thank you very much.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
Let's go.

Speaker 4 (14:15):
Also, I mean, who cares what she thinks. She's a
freaking affair, Like she got with a married man.

Speaker 3 (14:20):
And she used for his money. Yeah, and was like, oh,
I used you for you.

Speaker 4 (14:24):
I don't think you have to feel you know, too bad?
Whatever she says. Yeah, I went off on her about
how she should never talk about being crazy after threatening
a female coworker of my grandfather's with a hammer because
they spent time together at work. Yes, this happened. Opie's
like not holding anything back and I love it.

Speaker 3 (14:42):
Let it all out.

Speaker 4 (14:42):
Grandpa chimed in, saying she was just worried, as she
is for anybody who has a mental health problem. So
at this point I screamed at him that none of
them cared when it was my grandmother and the depression
and mental breakdown they caught.

Speaker 3 (14:55):
I was literally about to bring it up, like you
don't care, you're an advocate for mental health health. Yeah,
you caused it to one of the most important people
in everyone's lives right now.

Speaker 4 (15:04):
Literally, And the only reason that they're bringing up, oh,
we just care is because Opie's call them out. I
stormed off and the next day went to Grandma's. She
said it was fine if I exploded that I've been
holding things for the sake of family peace and it
wasn't good for me, not mentally nor emotionally. Dad says
Grandpa brought this upon himself. Mom is furious and said
it wasn't my place to talk like that to her

(15:26):
dad or to bring up past events. Bro is super young,
so he didn't care, and Sis is very much on
my side with you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Yeah,
I think is it petty? Sure? Justified? Absolutely?

Speaker 3 (15:39):
Absolutely.

Speaker 4 (15:40):
Grandpa reached out today to give some half buddied apology
and asked for one. I blatantly told him I have
nothing to be sorry about and he should keep his
mouth shut about certain topics. Mom is now giving me
the silent treatment, and Dad told me I went too far,
but understands. I think also the dads probably like, yeah,
you went too far. I totally get them. Well, no,

(16:00):
because he's like, okay, I can't wink well, but.

Speaker 3 (16:02):
He's like yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (16:06):
But I think he's trying to, you know, smooth things
out with Opie's mom and try and not get agrees
with op.

Speaker 3 (16:13):
That's what I feel like, Like your grandma's your grandpa
freakings walks.

Speaker 4 (16:16):
The rest of the family is divided, and my uncle
actually came to my house to discuss my lack of respect.

Speaker 3 (16:22):
This is what I think. This is one of the
uncles that ditch grandma for dad because Grandma wasn't in
the oppressive state. And yeah, uncle is like, I don't
like this, So am I the a.

Speaker 4 (16:32):
Hole for unloading like that and not apologizing. I think
that you were rolling in a lot of stuff and
your grandpa was running his mouth. Again, it's it's never
the best idea to unload in front of a big
group of people when you could have a conversation one
on one. But I don't think that you're necessarily like
I think you're justified in your ale is.

Speaker 3 (16:50):
Justified pettiness again, this I feel like this story, it's
just a icky story that maybe you've seen your grandma's like,
it's okay, it's.

Speaker 4 (17:00):
Okay, we're standing up for your grandma.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
Yeah, and your mom and your aunt decided with your grandma,
which is weird.

Speaker 4 (17:07):
Edit to add thanks for responding. First of all, I
have to clarify that Mom does have a problem when
it comes to the males in her family. She will
justify anything they do and it's terrible, which is probably
because she has her father, who's you know, acted terribly
her whole childhood. I think gotten away with it.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
Not to mention it again, but I think it stems
from her mom, who got cheated on and she was
like letting back, let it back in.

Speaker 4 (17:32):
Yeah, she was actually getting better with therapy, but due
to money issues, we can't afford it anymore. So there's that.
I also want to explain the extent to this problem,
and I'll do it with one single example. Grandpa is
unapologetic about the cheating. He even denies it and has
made up a whole story about him and how he
and the affair partner met on the street, even if
we all know the truth, and Mom, instead of telling

(17:55):
me the truth, chose to keep this from me until
I was around ten years old and was angry that
Grandma wouldn't come to my birthday. I don't know what happened.
Mom made it seem like they broke up and Grandma
went absolutely nuts for no reason. I asked them to
sleep over at Grandma's something that I still do to
this day, and I asked her why she wouldn't come
to my birthdays or any celebration. That's when she told
me the story, and I was furious with everyone except her.

(18:17):
From then on, all of my cousins and siblings know
the truth. It either comes from their parents or myself,
because I'm sick and tired of Grandpa getting away with this.
But you won't get away with not joining us live
every weekday three PMPSD on YouTube. You just have to
tap our profile.

Speaker 3 (18:34):
Just tap it and we won't leave you.

Speaker 4 (18:35):
And there is another edit to add information. But do
you have any final thoughts to the story?

Speaker 2 (18:40):
Fee?

Speaker 3 (18:40):
It seems like this is just like a huge thing
that stems with this entire family, just.

Speaker 4 (18:44):
A lot of family secrets and trying to reckon with them.
And I think half of the grandpa's kids are like, oh,
we have to respect our elders and we have to
respect our dad, even though he's shown disrespect to everyone
in the family time and time again.

Speaker 3 (18:58):
It's just very gross. And I feel like maybe Mom
might be a little upset at Opee because Grandpa hasn't
been called out. Yeah, we haven't heard anyone call out
Grandpa just yet, or like anyone.

Speaker 4 (19:07):
Scared of me. I think it's also so much generational,
and I think that you know, Ope's probably like, you
know what, I'm going to call people out if they're
acting badly, and the opie's parents and uncles and aunts
and stuff are like, well, it's he's her dad, so
you know, it doesn't matter if he did.

Speaker 3 (19:22):
Something passes of the past. Yeah, no, he did. Someone
called our grandpa for his crappy behavior in the past
and his scummy behavior.

Speaker 4 (19:32):
Yeah. Another edit to add, Yes, the fair partner left
him when he ran out of money. She started going
out with three different guys that I know of, and
convinced them to pay for rent, car insurance, health insurance, clothes,
and several things from her family. Grandpa only came back
when he landed a big job. He rented a place
without anyone knowing, then called her and had her move in.

(19:52):
He left Grandma and his kids moved into the apartment
with a fair partner, and she had to cut contact
with the other guys. Six years later, Grandpa found out
she was sort of dating someone else, so she was
friging to Karma man while he was working this well
paying job. She begged for him to stay with her
and gave him her phone so he could be sure
she wasn't doing anything. From then on, she's been nothing
short of a housewife, except for the fact that they're

(20:14):
not married because Grandpa never signed the papers Grandma sent
and after a certain time, Grandma just didn't care enough.

Speaker 3 (20:21):
I feel bad.

Speaker 4 (20:22):
I feel so bad for this grandma. But that is
the end of that. Yeah, Unfortunately, that is the.

Speaker 3 (20:27):
End that I taste in my mouth.

Speaker 4 (20:29):
I am glad that it would be called out this
grandpa because he freaking sucks. He's the worst.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
My brother's fiance demanded I change my appearance for her wedding,
and I.

Speaker 4 (20:40):
Refuse your put down. Don't let anyone tell you what
to do.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
It's my appearance, shut up. I twenty two female, am
going to my sister in law's wedding twenty six female.
So here's the situation. My sister in law is getting
married in two months sixteenth. She has been in full
and extra bridezilla mode for as long as I've known her.

(21:05):
She's been a bit of a control freak and wanting
everything perfect. But this wedding brought out the worst of
the worst of this woman. Ooh, Bridezilla. It's like Bridezilla zilla,
Bridezilla one, Bridezilla squared.

Speaker 4 (21:20):
I was thinking, like, God's what no Bridezilla minus.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
One minus one.

Speaker 4 (21:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
By the way, this comes from user chapter ok thirty
six seventy two on the r slash okay story time subreddit.
So in December of twenty twenty two, the bride and
family started planning the wedding. My sister in law asked
me to be the maid of honor, and there's a
total of five bridesmaids um oh K twenty eight, M

(21:48):
twenty seven, L twenty six, A twenty six, N twenty six.
Those are all gonna have to have names later, but
we'll we'll get to that later. For context, her and
my brother twenty seven male, have been together since the
end of high school and dated all the way through college.
So she's been in my life for a long time

(22:09):
and has been there for me when I needed it.
With me being her maid of honor, I've been trying
to do my best managing college and to help with
all the preparations, I have rearranged my schedules for dress fittings,
cake tasting, cake tasting, You taste the cake, and even
spending the entire weekend making centerpieces for the reception and

(22:30):
the ceremony.

Speaker 4 (22:31):
That's like a normal part of wedding planning. You get
cake tasting, You taste the cake. Yeah, you get like
a bunch of different cake like samples. Anyone can do that, ridiculous.
You can go to a bakery and be like, I want,
I want to do some cake tasting, and they'll give
you a whole sample.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
Life acts. Yeah, freak unlimited. It's not free. It's not
free if you've convince them. Even spent the whole weekend
making centerpieces for the reception and the ceremony because the
ones she ordered quote, weren't good enough and up to
her standard. I've been patient with her demanding orders and
changes that she wanted, but she just crossed a new line.

(23:08):
Last week, I got a phone call from my sister
in law asking to meet for coffee on the Monday
at noon. At first I thought it was another wedding demand,
but heck to the no. When I got there, I
see her and her mom at the table. She told
me her and her mother have some issues and are
worried about how I would look in the wedding photos
as well as at the wedding Dane. Both her and

(23:32):
your mom were like, we think you're ugly.

Speaker 4 (23:34):
Well, there's a problem with your appearance and it's gonna
ruin the wedding.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
We straight up can't let your ugliness ruin our wedding.
And excuse me, that's rude.

Speaker 4 (23:44):
That's what they call rude.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yeah. So for some context here, I'm a bit Gothic.
Oh she's a goth.

Speaker 4 (23:52):
She's a freaking god.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
Can't be goth. This is no goth wedding a wedding,
what are you talking about. I'm a bit goth thick
and have always had my own unique style and look.
I have vibrant, ashy hair with bright pink underneath, a
few visible tattoos, and my nose and all my ears done.
This is just who I am and I didn't expect
I would have to change for someone or anything, and

(24:16):
I will.

Speaker 4 (24:16):
Not don't at all.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
All my families support me and always have my back,
or so I thought. My sister in law and her
mother both went on to say that she wanted me
to dye my hair neutral, cover up my tattoos, which
are all sentimental to me and have meaning and value
and for me to remove my piercinks.

Speaker 4 (24:38):
So just be a different person. Have we thought about that?

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Can you just maybe not be you for today?

Speaker 4 (24:43):
Just for one day? It's not actually asking so much, no.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
Key, we just hate you aesthetic change it for just
one days?

Speaker 4 (24:51):
Supposed to get like that? I don't know, like like
concealer foundation on all the tattoos.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
I think there might be like a tactful way to
bring the but definitely like it's like ganging up and shaming. Ope,
like at a secret meeting is not the way to
do it.

Speaker 4 (25:08):
For sure.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
To say I was stun and jaw dropping embarrassed would
be understating. To say, the least finish it. I finished it.

Speaker 4 (25:20):
You're welcome.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
She She then went to say that she did not
want the bridesmaids or made of honor to look distracting.
I turned around and said that I'm not changing how
I look because it's who I am and how I
express myself. And I won't be changing anything for anyone
because they don't like something on me. Her mother then
went to say that she wants nothing but the best
for her only daughter and wanting it to be perfect

(25:44):
and that if I didn't change my appearance, I would
not be able to go to the wedding. I was livid.
I was livid is an understatement.

Speaker 4 (25:54):
You didn't you do that?

Speaker 2 (25:55):
You you did the that's the second half of the
thing you did earlier, of just the first half. Okay,
I said I was leaving, and I got up and
left and did not pay for my bill.

Speaker 4 (26:07):
They didn't pay for ice.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
Once I got to my car, I started bawling my
eyes out and went straight to my brothers to confront
him about the situation. I explained to my brother that
I was upset and uncomfortable and embarrassed about what his
fiance and his future mother in law had to say
to me. He said that this is their special day
and to suck it up and move on. From then,

(26:31):
I've just been seeing red and I went absolutely insane, saying,
how are you gonna let your soon to be wife
treat me this way? For context, me and my brother
have always been close growing up, even into adulthood. I
just felt I wasn't valued enough. After I expressed my feelings,
I went home to cool down and didn't speak to
my brother, his partner, or her mother. I got over,

(26:55):
I got a handful of phone calls and texts saying
all saying I was selfish and being petty. I am
pretty and petty. I then phoned them asking them if
we could all meet up and talk about the situation,
and they all agreed. We all talked and I explained
how I felt, saying that I wasn't comfortable changing how
I looked, as it took me years to get how

(27:16):
I wanted to look, as growing up I suffered with
bullying and having severe anxiety about how I look and
changing my appearance for one day, and that I thought
it was unreasonable and unfair for her and her mother
to change how I look. She then got upset and
started screaming and causing a scene, saying I was being
selfish and unreasonable and not taking her feelings into consideration

(27:40):
because it's her special day and everyone should bow to
her knees. The mother then said I don't know the
stress of planning a wedding and wanting everything to be perfect,
and I replied that I may not know that, but
I'm not changing my appearance because I like the way
I look.

Speaker 4 (27:56):
It's all such a so unbelievably hurtful to be like, oh,
I want everything to be perfect and you're not. Yeah,
You're something's wrong with you. Maybe, just like this is
how I am. And if me just being me makes
your wedding not perfect, would I want to be there?
Don't have me there because this is yeah, this is
this is how I look. Yeah, and if you have

(28:17):
a problem with that, then you have a problem with me.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yeah. Just hire an actor who looks.

Speaker 4 (28:21):
Like me, and I like they can done double fake.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
Made of honor because you're already you already want a
fake made of honor. Sounds like we all got into
a massive argument, and I left feeling more hurt and
angry than when I went. I then texted my brother
and his fiance saying, I'm no longer attending the wedding
and do not want anything to do with the wedding,
and I will be taking back all the things I
put my hard work into. Oh wow, she's like, I'm

(28:46):
not going to the wedding, and neither of those centerpieces.
I'm ripping them all up.

Speaker 4 (28:51):
They're gone. I'm putting them in my room. They're gonna
decorate my house, my center piece, They're gonna go with
my aesthetic, and you'll just have to deal. Yeah, if
you're laying wedding.

Speaker 2 (29:01):
Yeah, well you probably don't want these anyway, because a
goth because a goth person made them. Before I texted this,
I turned to my family and friends and my partner
at the time and my bridesmaids. But they all say
that it's her special day and I should do what
they want and bend over backwards to make her happy.
My parents and partner think my sister in law is

(29:23):
being unreasonable, but my friends and the bridesmaids are split
and still fifty to fifty on the situation. Some say
she is being unreasonable and I should suck it up
and get on with it for one day, while others
agree that she overstepped the threshold. And I do love
my sister in law, but she overstepped the boundaries and
was asking way too much. I have so much guilt
for not being there for my brother, as me and

(29:44):
him are so close and I just feel like we're
we have drifted apart, and I feel awful. So am
I the a hole for not attending my sister in
law's wedding If she insists I change my appearance and
we do.

Speaker 4 (29:57):
Have an update? Oh man, I don't know. I think
that there would have been a way where the sister
could have gotten her more in line with the aesthetic
of the wedding if she had asked nicer, like she
could have been like, hey, like not talking like not
asking her to cover up the tattoos, but saying like, hey,
can we wear this type of dress or can we
do this type style of makeup and stuff. It really

(30:18):
feels like there was a way for everybody to be
happy about this, yeah, and that it just was nowhere
close to executed. No, it's like there are some things
that you can't it's very hard to cover up, like
tattoos and her hair. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:32):
And then the insult of being like and these are
all wrong. Yeah, everything about you is. Yeah, you're gonna
have to do some work if you want to be
in mom made of honor this wedding.

Speaker 4 (30:41):
And then when Opie went to her brother and was like, hey,
this is these are my concerns, he was.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
Like, suck it up, shuck it up, it's your wedding.

Speaker 3 (30:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (30:47):
Uh, Miss staff and Strawberry says hot take, I don't
think that is too much to ask to tone it
down for the wedding, But I don't think OPI is
an a hole for not going either that again, I
think toning it down and what the fiance was asking,
we're pretty different because she was asking like completely covered tattoos. Yeah,
that was just loud.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
There was probably a way to make everyone happy here,
but they definitely didn't way to hit it.

Speaker 4 (31:10):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (31:11):
All right, let's get into this update. I have decided
to have one last conversation with my sister in law
and my brother. I approached them with a mix of
emotions and determination and vulnerability I had experienced, hoping that
my sister in law would understand how much her demands
affected me before I delve into the crap show that happened.
Before I went to see them both, I had a

(31:32):
separate conversation with my brother. He apologized to me, saying
how deeply sorry he was and he shouldn't have taken
his anger or stress out on me, and that his
fiance has been putting him through heck about this wedding
and it being perfect.

Speaker 4 (31:45):
At least he's apologizing, Yeah, that's something, taking accountability first step.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
In reality, it shouldn't have to be perfect and there
is no need for us to fight and fall out.
I explained to him that the way I look is
really important to me and is a part of my identity,
and I didn't feel comfortable to change it. He said
he would have a conversation with his fiance.

Speaker 4 (32:06):
I'm glad that he's like. It feels like maybe the
brother was kind of caught up in all of the
wedding stress and wanting it to be you know, quote
unquote perfect first way.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
And he's hearing all this other stuff too, and he
can't you just please just take your piers down and
cover up your tatoos.

Speaker 4 (32:18):
For me, please, And then he's like, you know what,
maybe I shouldn't have said that, because.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
I know you, says I'm sorry, my man. Okay, on
to me letting up with them. Like I explained to
my brother, I also explained to them that my appearance
is who I am and alternating would make me feel
like a stranger to myself. I pleaded with them for
her to see me as her future sister in law
and not just a potential disruption to her perfect wedding vision.

(32:47):
Sister in law, however, did not like the idea and
was unmoved, and even more doubled down, insisting that it's
her wedding day and it's so important to her that
I should be able to make this small sacrifice for
her happiness. She accused me of being selfish and disrespectful,
saying that I don't really care about her and I
should just do as she asked. The conversation escalated into

(33:09):
a heated argument. The sister in law accused me of
always seeking attention and making everything about myself. I countered
that she was being unreasonable and controlling. In a fit
of frustration, I told her that if she couldn't accept
me as I am, I wouldn't be attending the wedding
at all. I stormed out, feeling a mix of anger
and heartbreak. Although I was still in the area, I

(33:29):
could hear her and my brother arguing and shouting. He
then said that he no longer wants a wedding and
to be with someone who is so controlling and not
putting his family's interests and feelings first in this situation,
and how he doesn't understand how and how she doesn't
understand how hurt I am, and he wouldn't let anyone
get between him and his family.

Speaker 4 (33:50):
Wow, he what a switch up. He went from like
just do it, like suck it up to like, you
know what.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
Do's my I'm sorry, being like I'm sorry so and
then being like.

Speaker 4 (34:02):
Business Belton has what I was thinking of. Why aren't
either of them taking her out of the wedding party?
That's my question, Like why is she the maid of honor? Yeah,
it's like they don't like each other.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
Something needs to be done here. But I have something
that you guys can do every weekday. You can join
us live on YouTube at three pm PST.

Speaker 4 (34:23):
Just tap our probid trap it.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Just tap it the little red circle. Just tap it.

Speaker 4 (34:28):
Yeah, man, I like the everyone's saying, dou w brother.
I agree.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
I think that I don't know. I mean, I think
if I was the sister, I'd be a little more.

Speaker 4 (34:39):
I'd be like, oh no, I didn't.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
Mean to do a divorce. I wanted to keep my
piercings in just because it feels like it's a part
of me.

Speaker 4 (34:48):
M it does feel quick. It feels like they're I
don't know, But again, the sister was, you know, doubling
down on it and being kind of rude and stuff.
So I feel like there must have been other things
going on. I mean, I.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
Kinda I don't know who said it in the comments,
but it's like, I do feel like there is a
part of both parties that's being unreasonable here mm hmmm,
where it's like op is sort of being unreasonable for
not having any level of like all right, here's where
I can budge on this. Yeah, and also like the

(35:24):
sistern laws being unreasonable for being like this is the
way it is and this is the way it's going
to be and there's no no, there's no as or
bus about it, and it's creating this impasse where like
nobody is finding the solution that works for everybody, which
it's there. Yeah, it's so clear to me that there's
a solution here for everyone.

Speaker 4 (35:43):
It does feel like everyone in the story is pretty impulsive.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
So he kicked her out, and thankfully most of our
family paid for the wedding. As surprise, surprise, the ex
sister in law's parents wouldn't put anything down for the wedding,
so we will get some of our money back. But
now at all, me and my brother have now got
our relationship back to where it was, And he explained
and expressed how horrible he feels for not sticking up

(36:07):
for me earlier. I don't want to get into the
whole argument that happened between my brother and his ex
out of respect for his privacy, not my story to tell.
I hope you all understand. No, I'm upset. I want
to know the juices. Yes, I just again would like
to say thank you for all the support and advice
I've been given. And that is the end of that story.
And it's and it sounded like she was fine with it,

(36:30):
which there's gotta be way more to that. Then that
we are not privy to me, she.

Speaker 4 (36:35):
Said, I don't want to tell, but I feel like
there was definitely a lot more going on.

Speaker 2 (36:39):
There's there's there's gotta be more. This that had to
have been the breaking point of just like, you know what,
you're really gonna be this militant about my sister's appearance.
I don't want to get married to you because you suck.

Speaker 4 (36:51):
Yeah, And it was like, oh, I love my sister,
then you can't love me. Oh dang, John.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
Here we're gonna get back to this juicy story. But
a quick three of ass from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (37:02):
I'm charging my friend for her wedding cake, even though
I promise to make it for free. Hmmm, sounds tricky.
I thirty four female, have a friend who I'll call Mary,
thirty three female, who is getting married in two weeks.
Mary's getting married marriage getting married. She and I have
been friends for several years, and I was excited when
she asked me if I could make her cake. I

(37:22):
don't normally do cakes anymore for people outside of family
and friends, as I'm currently pregnant, have a one year old,
and I'm currently pursuing another master's degree in education administration
so I can be a school principal. Wow, because teaching
is a dead end without an admin license. Unfortunately, the
administrators are where all the money's at in America. At

(37:44):
the time when she asked, I was also teaching full
time and finishing up a different master's program. So, yeah,
you totally have so much free time that you can
make this cake with.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
Yeah, why don't you just just.

Speaker 4 (37:54):
Throw on like another cake? Find another person? Wore?

Speaker 2 (37:57):
Do you also win? Astronaut? What do you the King
of Space?

Speaker 4 (38:02):
By the way, this comes from Cheese and Cake eighty
eight on the Okay Storytime suburned it, So I agreed
to make this cake over a year ago, I told
Mary when she offered a pay that I would do
it for free as my wedding gift to her. I
directly said wedding gift. She accepted, and we started planning
the design. Mary wanted a four tier cake, with each

(38:25):
tier a different flavor, white chocolate, yellow, and lemon, and
several sugar flowers and fonded decorations, as well as three
different flavored butter creams. It was a lot, but since
she's having an August wedding, I had time because school
would be out for summer and I'm actually taking a
year off since finding out I was pregnant a few
months ago. No, I was going to derail us to

(38:48):
talk about cake flavors. I can't do it though.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
I'm just a lot of how I'm doing it. How
do we have vanilla and yellow? Aren't those the same flavors?
What is yellow cake her flavored? Is that just cake flavored?

Speaker 4 (39:02):
That is a great question. Like there's white, chocolate, yellow,
and lemon.

Speaker 2 (39:07):
That doesn't make any sense to me. Two of those
weren't flavors, Yeah, two just colors. Those just colors, Okay.

Speaker 4 (39:18):
Saturday, I went to Mary's bachelorette party. The party itself
was fine, nothing remarkable happened. I couldn't drink, but everyone
had fun. One of Mary's bridesmaids asked what we were
all getting her for her wedding. I said I was
making the cake for free. The bridesmaid and other girls
there said that was a gift because cake cakes are

(39:39):
expensive and they wished they had gotten one for free.
That's it. I had heard nothing else about it until today.
Mary texted me and asked why I wasn't getting her
wedding gift. And there we have it. Now I understand
the title that is so wedding cakes are very very expensive.

Speaker 2 (40:02):
We didn't need that.

Speaker 4 (40:03):
Wedding cakes are very expensive. And for her to be like,
you're not getting me a gift also just weird, just
weird in general, even if like someone wasn't getting you
a gift, to be like you're not getting me a gift,
that's so rude of you.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
Yeah, it's like, what is this an eleven year old's
birthday party?

Speaker 4 (40:19):
Very strange?

Speaker 2 (40:19):
What come on?

Speaker 4 (40:21):
I told her I was, and that it was the
cake and reminded her that the cake was free. She
said that wasn't a gift, and that's a favor. I
told her it's a gift, and that she can't tell
me what I can gift her. I then asked why
she was mentioning it, and she said the bridesmaid I
spoke to Saturday. I told her that she was so
lucky to get a free cake, which you are so
literally everyone else realizes how lucky Mary is except for Mary.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
Yeah, she's like free cake.

Speaker 4 (40:46):
Yeah, killing who that I want a gift sports call.
She agreed, but then was upset when the bridesmaid said
that's a good gift. I asked her if her own
bridesmaid thinks it's a good gift, what's the problem. And
she said it's not up to the bridesmaid to tell
her what her gifts are. I told her, this is
her gift. She said that a gift needs to be

(41:07):
something she could use in her marriage, not just the
cake at the wedding.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
I'm just really, I'm I'm honing in on the like
the bridesmaids don't get to choose what gifts they are.
That's not getting a gift. That's like making people run
errands for you.

Speaker 4 (41:25):
Literally, And I mean, there is a wedding registry, but
the cake is for your wedding. The cake is for
your wedding. Yeah, she's presumably paying for all of the ingredients.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
Four tiered wedding cake, four tiers.

Speaker 4 (41:38):
She's paying for all the ingredients.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
And she's doing all the time dollars.

Speaker 4 (41:41):
Yeah. No, that's a huge deal. I told her, with
me going to school and not working right now, this
is a major expense that I'm taking on by doing
it for free. And she said that wasn't her problem
and that a real friend would do both. Hmmm, I guess,
so he's not a real friend, then, I guess. I
guess we've established that you guys aren't friends.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
That's the response right there.

Speaker 4 (42:02):
Yeah. I responded with, fine, I'll get back to you,
and she thanked me for understanding. Damn. About thirty minutes later,
I sent her a bill for her cake. The bill
was for seven hundred dollars, with a deposit of three
hundred and fifty dollars due by this Friday.

Speaker 2 (42:19):
Dang, and it was all the money.

Speaker 4 (42:21):
Oh, Pi's like, you know what, I know how much
I'm worth. I know my time is worth money and
the rest. Twenty four hours before the events start time.
She asked me what that was for, and I told
her it's not since it's not a gift, she needs
to pay for it. She said she couldn't afford it,
and I told her I didn't care, and this was
what business looks like.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
OOO.

Speaker 4 (42:40):
I did promise to get her a gift off her
registry though she told me no, cake is worth seven
hundred dollars. But in the bill breakdown, I pointed out
where it was going, from ingredients to transportation. Her venue
is forty five minutes away, additional labor. My husband helps
me deliver cake, so he's getting paid to last minute
booking time and the size of the cake on top

(43:01):
of the intricate decorations she wants. If she thinks that's
that seven hundred dollars is too expensive, then she can
go buy her own cake. She doesn't have to buy
it from op.

Speaker 2 (43:10):
Why don't you make your own cake then figure it out?

Speaker 4 (43:13):
Oh but you can't. You literally, this is so frustrating,
like people just taking advantage of their friends and their
friend's time because they think, oh, well, you're my friend,
so you owe me this favor. It's like, no, i'm
your friend, but also my time is valuable and you
don't get a just demand whatever you want She said
she shouldn't be charged for anything since I promised to

(43:33):
do it for free and it's too late to find
another baker. I said, that sounds an awful like, that
sounds an awful lot like not my problem, snaps, snaps,
because it isn't. She then asked if I could just
do the cake for free and forget the gifts. Oh,
now we're noubbling back because you realize how expensive it is.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
Oh, that's funny. I realized a cake was seven hundred dollars.
That's a good gif.

Speaker 4 (44:00):
You can give me that. But I said no, this
is the new deal. And I have not responded to
her texts since she and her fiance were venting in
a group message with the wedding party that I'm not in.
One of the bride'smaids, who was a mutual friend, asked
me what happened after telling me what was being said
in the group text, and I sent her the messages
of our exchange. And now apparently the bridal party is divided. Ooh,

(44:24):
there's some discord in the group.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
You've sown discord in the bridal party.

Speaker 4 (44:29):
Some are saying I should go back and do the
cake for free, like I originally promised, while others are
telling Mary she was wrong and apparently it's become a
huge ordeal.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
In what universe? Are people telling you you need to
actually do the free cake thing. You've made a mistake. No,
she needs to apologize, She needs to grobble and just
be like, Okay, look, I didn't realize exactly what level
of sort of gift slash favor you were doing.

Speaker 4 (44:58):
Yeah, and that was totally my I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
I'll never do that again.

Speaker 4 (45:02):
Yeah, and then you give her an extra hundred dollars.
Her fiance is now mad at both of us for
being petty and ridiculous. My husband is team Mary can
suck an egg and doesn't think I should do the
cake or get the gift, but he told me to
remember this could cost me a friendship, but he'd support
me either way. But he thinks I should stand my
ground in this and not let Mary push me around. However,

(45:26):
my husband also doesn't really like Mary for unrelated reasons,
so he may be biased. Am I the ale for
charging my friend for the cake and refusing to do
it for free after she got mad at me? And
edit to add burner account because I'm pretty sure Mary
has a reddit for wedding subs and there is an update.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
So yeah, my official verdict on this would be not
the ale. Not the ale as long as you have
not received a heartfelt, grallity apology from Mary. Yeah, and
then it'd be like all right, okay, and then still

(46:05):
maybe charge one hundred body yeah, and then get her,
you know, a cheap thing off her for gift.

Speaker 4 (46:10):
Registry her like a bowl, just one Ikia bowl.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (46:15):
No, I think, yeah, I think if she apologized heart felt,
it'd be different. But as of right now, you are
not the able at all, and you don't know or
something that she's not grateful for.

Speaker 2 (46:25):
Yeah. And it sounds like she weaponized the bridal party,
is what It sounds like she kind of she it's
not found out.

Speaker 4 (46:34):
This is what happened.

Speaker 2 (46:36):
That's how they found out. They found out because she
was like, oh pe tacking my cake away.

Speaker 4 (46:40):
Yeah. So she's already not only has she not apologized,
but she's actively like pitting people onto op.

Speaker 2 (46:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (46:47):
But there is an update. I read as many comments
as I could, tbh, I did not expect the amount
of responses I got and responded to who I could.
This post was originally going to be answering as many
repeat questions as I could, but this morning, mutual friend
bride'smaid I'll call Pam, messaged me today to give me
an update. Mary and her fiance I'll call Frank are

(47:09):
currently not on speaking terms because they got into an
argument last night. It wasn't directly because of the cake,
but what the cake debacle revealed to Frank Apparently Mary
has been spending a lot of his money on the wedding. Now,
we all kind of already knew that Mary told us
Frank and his family would be footing the bill. He's

(47:30):
an engineer and his family has a lot of money.
I'm not exactly sure what their family wealth is from,
but it was enough to pay out of pocket for
him and his siblings to go to expensive universities debt free.
That's a pretty good deal. What we didn't know is
that they've been arguing about the finances this entire time.

(47:50):
Uh oh, and my cake was the last straw for Frank. Oh.
Mary's budget for the wedding was thirty thousand dollars, and
she's apparently spent almost double that on intricate flowers, her
wedding dress, decorations, engagement photos, catering, open bar entertainment, and
flying her family in and paying for their accommodations. Yeah,

(48:13):
just a sixty thousand dollars wedding.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
Just a good sixty k on sixty k.

Speaker 4 (48:20):
That's crazy. Yeah, oh my god.

Speaker 2 (48:22):
Never understand it. I never will. I never understand spending
even five figures on a wedding. Like I'm gonna get married,
come to the park. It costs you zero dollars and
we're all gonna hang out.

Speaker 4 (48:38):
We're just gonna hang out and wander around the park
and also married.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
I've got a preacher there. We're getting a we're getting
married at the park.

Speaker 4 (48:45):
Form a line. Anyone else, Barbara get married. I want
to have a backyard barbecue wedding. Yeah, so that's and
that costs the cost of food. Well, I think my plan,
which some of you have heard, I want to have
it in like maybe my future backyard and put the
money into like fixing up the backyard that you went
into a wedding.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
Oh so it's like a breaking in the house slash.
I like how we're now talking about our weddings instead
of all right.

Speaker 4 (49:14):
Right, ope's wedding Mary, Mary's clearly trying to take advantage
of everyone in her life. And maybe it's not the
best friend. Maybe this is not the type of friend, like,
maybe this is the revealing situation where you realize that
Mary is just not a good friend, not.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
A friend at all. Didn't sound like a friend to me.

Speaker 4 (49:31):
The venue alone took a good chunk of their money
because of the size and location an hour away from
where we all live. It's a large house, maybe considered
a mansion, I can't remember. With several acres of land, horses,
a lake, and a field for wedding photos.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
That's a mansion, dude, I can tell you that, right.
I don't really remember if it was a mansion. It
just had a lake in a field and a question
in the scenario.

Speaker 4 (49:55):
Wild horses roaming. The entire wedding party is supposedly staying
there for a few days leading up to the wedding.
I've not seen it in person. Again, I'm not in
the wedding party and never was, but the photos online
make it obvious why it's so expensive. That's crazy that
Opie's not even in the wedding party, Like, is doing
all of this this huge favor for Opie He's not

(50:18):
in the wedding party, and Mary's still sorry. I'm doing
this huge favor for Mary, and Mary still expects a gift.
It's not even in the wedding party. That's crazy crazy.
I had no idea they had spent that much, and
neither did anyone in the wedding party. As far as
we all knew. The most expensive thing Mary had brought
had bought was her wedding dress, to the tune of

(50:40):
five thousand dollars. Wow. I only know because I went
with her to try some on with some other friends
and bridesmaids. Pam's fiance is one of Frank's groomsmen, and
Frank's been venting through the groomsmen and texts about how
much this is costing, and he's not sure he wants
to do this anymore.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
Whoa, uh oh oh No.

Speaker 4 (51:00):
However, he feels compelled to because the money has been
spent and is non refundable. But he said he didn't
know Mary would be this way about a wedding because
she typically sticks to budgets, which is true. He needs
to go have more conversations with Mary and less to
his friends. Yea, he needs to stop complaining about his
wife and urged yeah, talking to Rich be like, hey,
we don't have the money, like this is the amount

(51:22):
of money that we have, we can't go over. Literally,
everyone is surprised by how much she is supposedly spending,
including my husband and me. Mary is the person who
gets everything off brand at the store to save a dollar,
even when she doesn't really need to. From what Pam
told me, Mary asked him to just pay me so
she could have the cake, and he said no, not

(51:42):
because he couldn't afford it, because he was tired of
spending money on just one day. He told her to
figure it out herself.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
You want that cake, figure it out, make it your shelf,
figure it out.

Speaker 4 (51:53):
So nobody knows what is going on anymore, and if
there will even be a wedding. No one has reached
out to me about making the cake either, and my husband,
for those wondering, is still team Mary. Can suck an
egg before anyone asks. No, Mary did not grow up poor.
She was very much middle class like I was, and
she's never been broke or anything. She's also never seen

(52:13):
like she wanted overly expensive stuff. She drives a ten
year old to Dan that despite Frank saying she needs
a new car she won't get rid of because it
runs fine and my dad taught me to drive my
cars into the ground. So this is like totally off
brand for Mary. She's it seems like she's pretty frugal
except for this sixty thousand dollars wedding.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
Want the one day I was just so, I want
my one.

Speaker 4 (52:36):
Day, want my one day to be day to be
sixty thousand dollars worth of day. Yeah, so believe me
when I say it really is out of character for
her to be this nonchalant about money. I'm not sure
if I'll have another update. If I do, it'll be
after the wedding if there is one. And edit, I
know a lot of people are saying things about Mary
just using Frank for his money, But at the same time,

(52:57):
I want to remember that Pam only gave me rank
side via what he's been telling the groomsman. I have
no idea what part he played and if this is
really if this really actually bothered him up to this point,
or if he's ever mentioned the amount she's been spending
to her. It's now six pm and I've not spoken
to or heard from Mary since yesterday. After giving her

(53:19):
the quote, So I don't have any more to add
other than my perspective. It really does sound out of
character for Mary to be doing this, But I remember
when I got married that my husband said he wanted
me to have what made me happy for our wedding.
If he's been telling her what my husband told me
and still giving her money, then he's definitely not an
innocent party in my opinion. And there is an update.

Speaker 2 (53:41):
Let's dig Let's dig into this update.

Speaker 4 (53:44):
Long story short, the villain in this situation wasn't Mary
plot twist, Oh, it was Frank. It was Frank Frank
along and no they did not get married. If you
want to read the first updates, there are only other
to post in my profile, and this update is all
the information I've gathered from bridesmaid Pam and her fiance,

(54:07):
so bear with me. Most of this is what Mary
has told Pam, who then related to me. I love
that opiaza a woman on the inside.

Speaker 2 (54:15):
She's got the inside track.

Speaker 4 (54:17):
Anyway. I've mentioned before that Mary was and is a
frugal person. That's why we all thought the gift and
cake thing was weird, as well as her spending a
bunch of money for the wedding. It turns out that
Mary has actually been trying to save money despite doubling
their budget. Apparently, Frank's family always throws extravagant celebrations and parties.

(54:38):
This includes birthdays, holidays, graduations, and weddings, so Frank had
been emphasizing to Mary that this wedding was supposed to
be huge because that's just how his family is. I'm
guessing it's a way to flaunt success, but that's just
a guess. I don't actually know the real reason. But
Frank has been hands off the entire time. I'm not
surprised my own husband only cared with the food cake

(55:01):
flavor and that the colors weren't pink. But Frank had
been telling Mary to save money since that's what she's
good at, that's what she's good at, and that he
didn't want to spend a bunch of money on one day.
So Mary picked out things that were cheaper. But we're
not good enough for Frank, Like that mansion slash large
house where everyone would be staying. Yeah, Frank's idea, Hey,

(55:22):
you gotta do that for Frank. Gotta do it for Frank. Frank,
he needs his mansion Mary apparently wanted to do a
hotel that hosted weddings because her family could stay there
for less money and the hotel was just cheaper to
host a wedding versus a literal mansion with horses. He
would do this with everything and veto things like her
choices of decorations and vendors because they weren't big enough
or I'm guessing extravagant. Damn Okay. So it seems like

(55:47):
Frank is doing kind of two things. He's saying, Oh,
I want you to budget for the wedding, and she's like, okay,
here's a suggestion. He's like, no, that's so late, that's ugly,
that's not good enough.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
I told you to budget for the wedding. Don't make
us look pulled.

Speaker 4 (56:02):
Yeah, He's like, I want a mansion, but also a
budget mansion.

Speaker 2 (56:06):
On a budget. Sell did you misspell horse garden? Because
that's what I want at the mansion that we have
a wedding at belt.

Speaker 4 (56:15):
And says Frank and his family can't have it both ways.
It's either extravagant or affordable. It seems like Frank just
doesn't because he's wealthy or grew up wealthy doesn't really
understand the value of money. It's like, oh, I want
you to budget, but also doesn't understand that these things
that he wants are very expensive.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
He's he's a he's two faced. Two Francs inside of Frank.

Speaker 4 (56:36):
There are just a little Frank.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
One is fighting to not spend money and the other
one wants to spend all of his money.

Speaker 4 (56:45):
He even told her how big her bouquet to be
and that her dress needed to have a lot of bling.
So basically, Mary has been trying to stick to the budget,
but what was in the budget didn't match Frank's taste
or expectations. So when I said she had to pay
for the cake, Frank accused Mary of not saving the
money despite her being so money conscious. And Mary wasn't

(57:06):
the one who had the problem with the cake, it
was Frank. I guess they both knew the cake was free,
but Frank didn't know I was making it as a gift.
Mary explained that I was, and he said that didn't
count and to ask me about it?

Speaker 2 (57:18):
What Frank, Frankie, shut up, Frankie, how to shut your mouth?

Speaker 4 (57:24):
He said it didn't count because friends doing friends for
friends doing favors for an event like a wedding isn't
a gift on some level, she must have agreed, because
she didn't mention Frank being the one with the problem
at all in the messages. But whatever. Anyway, the cake
was what Mary was really looking forward to because it
was the only thing she felt she had one hundred

(57:45):
percent saying regarding the wedding, and when I charged her
for it, Frank was upset that Mary was not saving
the money like he was expecting. This resulted in a
fight where they ended up not on speaking terms. When
Frank was complaining to Pam's fiance and the rest of
the groomsmen, it was in text, and according to Pam,
Mary found them and left Frank for making her seem

(58:07):
like a greedy bee to everyone and when she was
only getting things Frank wanted without Frank's help. Yeah, that's
really frustrating, I think, regardless of the money issue, to
have someone who like, have a partner who doesn't want
to help you at all with planning. Yeah, but also
is so many little like nitpicky.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
Yeah, you know, Frank is the bride woods in this situation.

Speaker 4 (58:32):
He is, and he doesn't want to help anyone.

Speaker 2 (58:34):
He's the groom gantua.

Speaker 4 (58:39):
I was trying to think of another one, but I couldn't,
and that if it were up to her, they wouldn't
have most of the expensive things she bought for the wedding.
The only contact I've had for Mary was an apology
text message when I told her it was okay and
we were still friends. She didn't answer. In fact, she
hasn't answered anyone other than to tell the wedding party

(59:00):
that the wedding was off wow, apologize for the inconvenience.
And since then, oh, this is what Mary has done,
and since then she's been quiet. She did post on
her social media a long apology for canceling, she said, postponed,
but I noticed her relationship status was gone. But the
location check in is in the hometown where her parents live,

(59:21):
not where we live, So I think she went back
to her parents' house after calling the wedding off. But
that's all I know, and I heard its secondhand from Pam.
But according to Pam, Frank is upset Mary left because
all his money is tied up in vendors that he
can't get back, and he's been trying to plead his
case with the groomsman but only his brother is on

(59:42):
his side. Pam's fiance and the other groomsmen have stopped
talking to him. Frank is losing all of his friends
because he sucks.

Speaker 2 (59:49):
Frank has lost all support.

Speaker 4 (59:51):
But you know what, we would never want to lose
you joining us live every weekday through PMPST on YouTube.
Just tap her profile and there is a li litle
bit left to the story. But what are our final
wrapping up thoughts?

Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
You know?

Speaker 5 (01:00:06):
I feel like like a lot of the the blame
is now immediately shifted onto Frank, which is fair, but
I feel like Mary is not blameless in this.

Speaker 4 (01:00:17):
I don't think Mary is blameless, especially after I mean
like she did text Op about that regardless of Frank's
you know.

Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
Mary was on team Frank. Yeah, Mary was pro Frank.

Speaker 4 (01:00:28):
I think, regardless Frank's part in this, you know, and
maybe in egging her on to go and tell Ope
that the gift wasn't a good enough gift, Mary still
play it was an act of participant in it, and
I think it's good that she apologized. Yeah, she's not
completely blameless, It's it definitely seems like Frank is way

(01:00:48):
more of a problem.

Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
But if Mary apologe by being like, no, it's.

Speaker 4 (01:00:54):
The wedding's off, but you can still make that cake
for free. We can eat it, you can cry, We'll
eat that cake together. Yeah, a man? What is switchero?

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
Frank? Frank was Bridezilla the whole time, but all along.

Speaker 4 (01:01:08):
Scooby Doo mask comes off. It was a it was
frayed along. Also there's more. I heard Charlotte asking why
Mary wasn't paying for the wedding too. I can't answer that,
but Mary works as an s as STNA and doesn't
make a lot. Her bachelor's was in psychology and she
never went on to get her doctorates, so getting employed

(01:01:29):
in her field isn't very easy. Bless you. I also
don't know if they're still together. Mary didn't say they
broke up, just that the wedding is postponed sash canceled.
I apologize if this confused anyone, but I'll try to
answer anything I can in the comments. Just remember I
heard most of this secondhand, besides the apology I got
from Mary and the post she made online, so I

(01:01:51):
may not have all the answers. And edit changed Pam's
husband to Pam's fiance and that is the end of
that story.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
Wooers man.

Speaker 4 (01:02:02):
Oh man, Well, it seems like it it's all working out.
They're not getting franken Frank and Mary are not getting married,
and Mary and Ope may are seemingly making up.

Speaker 2 (01:02:13):
Or the best. Everything happened for the best. My in
laws ruined my wedding by bullying my mother. Now I
wish I had just eloped.

Speaker 4 (01:02:23):
Why would they freaking bully your mom?

Speaker 2 (01:02:26):
Yeah, who's bullying? Who's out there bullying mom's kids? Let's
figure it out by digging into this story. It will
soon be my thirty three female and my husband's thirty
five male wedding anniversary. While some celebrate this special day,
we do not because I hate the day that we

(01:02:47):
got married. Other couples remember it as the best day
of their lives. I remember it as one of the
worst days and was It was just one of many
things that happened the year we got married. Broke me,
sucks usus damn.

Speaker 4 (01:03:04):
Hey.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
I hope things have been on the upswing for you
since Opie. And by the way, uh this comes from
user Cupcake nineteen oh six on the r slash Okay
story time stop read it. So the first crappy thing
that happened that year was I miscarried. Are very much
wanted and loved baby. We had been trying five plus
years for two months before our wedding day.

Speaker 4 (01:03:24):
That's so sad, that's already going into it with like
a lot of pain.

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
One of the worst things I could ever think of
happening at any time ever, is what that was. Wow.
We were devastated. It put me into a dark place
which I didn't think I could get out of, and
we almost called off our wedding, but I pushed through
and tried to look forward to our wedding day a

(01:03:51):
lot of strength there. I had asked my husband's sisters
to be two of my bridesmaids as we had become
close since my hubby and I started dating, as well
as two of my cousins. All four of them said
yes with excitement. I also told them I planned on
paying for us all to get our hair done on
the morning of the wedding at my hairdressers, and then
we can all get ready together in the hotel room

(01:04:12):
I had booked at the location of our wedding.

Speaker 4 (01:04:15):
Seems like a nice deal.

Speaker 2 (01:04:17):
Yeah, it seems like just taking care of these four ladies.
They all agreed and we're all excited. A month before
the wedding, I had to pay the salon, so I
messaged them on the Bridle WhatsApp group to make sure
they could all make it still as I had to pay,
and they all said yes. So I went and paid

(01:04:37):
two hundred plus is that pounds or euros pounds? Two
hundred plus pounds? So I went and paid two hundred
plus pounds for all of us to have our hair
done and told the girls to look at styles they wanted.
I didn't care what they chose or if it looked
better than mine. I don't like being the center of attention,
so I didn't care if one of them upstaged me. Anyways,

(01:04:57):
fast forward to ten days before my wedding, I sent
a message to the WhatsApp group about how excited I
was for the morning of having our hair done and
getting ready and if they had all decided on a hairstyle,
and then several things happened.

Speaker 4 (01:05:11):
Oh, I hope he was being so good about being like, hey,
you know, like, are we ready? Are you guys on
the same page?

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
Can't wait ten days?

Speaker 4 (01:05:20):
Hey? Why did several things have to happen.

Speaker 2 (01:05:23):
Let's see what they were first. My hubby sisters said
they were planning on getting their hair done and would
be getting ready together at one of their houses, so
they wouldn't be coming to the salon or getting to
the hotel until just before the wedding. One of my
cousins said she wouldn't be able to make it because
her car had broken down. I asked her if her
dad could bring her and she still lived at home,

(01:05:45):
and she gave me some excuse which I can't remember,
and then suggested she stay at my flat the night before,
as hubby was staying at his dad's and we can
have a girl's night. And her response to that was,
I don't sleep well at other people's, so I'd rather
stay at home and do my hair and makeup and
look good for your wedding. I didn't respond after.

Speaker 4 (01:06:03):
This, wait, so he said, what was the like you
can say? It was like, yeah, come, you can come
stay at my place day before. She's like, I wouldn't
sleep very well. I mean, that's kind of understandable. I
don't always sleep well, you know, I had to. I was,
I've I think I've lost the ability to sleep over

(01:06:24):
at my parents' house because I was I was house
sitting and I was I stayed over last night and
I just felt like I just didn't get any sleep.
But also that might have been because I'm becoming else. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:34):
I was about to say, you are also sick. You
did just get sick. Both could have been. Maybe it's both,
who knows.

Speaker 4 (01:06:43):
Maybe it's maybe Lene, Maybe it's a bit of both.

Speaker 2 (01:06:45):
Yeah. Uh, my auntie, Oh, this is bullet point number two.
My auntie, the mother of my own my other cousin,
messaged me to say my cousin won't be up in
time to get to the salon. They lived over two
hours from us in the appointment was booked for nine
am when the salon opened, so she will just do

(01:07:06):
her hair when she gets up and make up on
the journey to the venue. I asked, can't they come
down the night before like the rest of the family
who lives hours away, But I was told no because
my cousin was going out with her friends to a
concert the night before my wedding. To this, I just
said fine. So on the day of my wedding, I
was the only one that got my hair done at

(01:07:28):
the salon. When I told my hairdresser it was just
going to be me. The morning of my wedding, she
felt terrible for me. She gave me a refund for
my bridesmaids and for the champagne they would have brided
at the bridesmaids attended.

Speaker 4 (01:07:39):
I mean, at least you got a pity refund. But
that's so frustrating when everyone agreed. Honestly, you should have
made them all pay for it. You should have been like, hey,
you guys agreed. Oh wait, no, she was paying for
it all.

Speaker 2 (01:07:50):
Yeah. Yeah, and she got the refund and also the
chum pagna. She got that bad.

Speaker 4 (01:07:55):
That's so sad. But yeah, that's that really sucks. You're
already gone.

Speaker 2 (01:08:00):
You know, it supposed to be a girl day.

Speaker 4 (01:08:03):
Friends, because you just had something kind of really traumatic
happened two months prior, and it doesn't seem like they
care enough to be there for you. Yeah, because you know,
I've I've realized recently and that I have really great
friends because they show up, and you want to have that.

Speaker 2 (01:08:19):
You have friends that show up for you, Yeah, for sure,
that's the goal. So so I only paid for myself.
During the session, I was trying not to cry, thinking
about how none of my brides were getting ready with me,
as well as thinking about how far along I would
have been if I hadn't miscarried, and the tiny bump

(01:08:40):
that I would have had damns so sad sad. Anyways,
fast forward, my hair's done and my dad picks me up.
We had to go and collect the table center pieces
from a local shop. Now on to that third thing
that ruined my wedding day. After picking up the center pieces,
I had a phone call from my mother and she

(01:09:01):
started shouting at me down the phone, asking where me
and my dad were. She needed help finishing the cake.
My mom made the wedding cake, and she still had
to get ready and we were taking too long. I
told my mom that Dad was just dropping me off
at the wedding venue and then would be on his
way home. After dropping me off at the venue, I
helped finish setting up the reception room and then went

(01:09:22):
to get ready, where my photographer took pictures of me
getting ready, and it was lovely but lonely.

Speaker 4 (01:09:28):
It's supposed to be here, you got your friends surrounding you,
It's supposed to be you in a girlies. This is
so messed up.

Speaker 2 (01:09:35):
The girlies are not coming through for you right now.

Speaker 4 (01:09:37):
Who goes to a car. What's even more frustrating is
the person who went to the concert when like they
knew about this wedding for seemingly a long time.

Speaker 2 (01:09:47):
Yeah, also, come on, wake up early, Come on, also,
wake up early.

Speaker 4 (01:09:51):
Literally just waked up hours early. This is like that
one store. I don't know if you were there, but
there was a story where this guy refused to get
up at like I was there for that.

Speaker 2 (01:10:00):
I can't make it because it's just I'm It's like,
shut up up, shut up, dude.

Speaker 4 (01:10:05):
Yeah, that's this.

Speaker 2 (01:10:08):
After I was ready, though, all the bridesmaids turned up
better after I'm ready than never. Huh. However, it was
ten minutes before I was due to walk down the aisle. Wow,
the girlies really dropped the ball.

Speaker 4 (01:10:21):
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:10:23):
Anyways, I digress. The ceremony went with no problems, and
so did the pictures after, and so did the wedding breakfast.
Not sure why it's called breakfast. We sat down and
eat at like two pm.

Speaker 4 (01:10:35):
Damn.

Speaker 2 (01:10:36):
After all the food and speeches were finished at about
four thirty pm, I decided on a two hour free
time break. So this way, our photographer got a break
and food, and everyone could do their own thing before
the reception started at seven, where other guests we couldn't
afford to invite to the wedding would be attending. My
husband and I went back to our hotel room just
to have some alone time as a newly married couple.

(01:10:59):
I hope you were doing anything inappropriate, and they're okay.

Speaker 4 (01:11:01):
But to keep it appropriate that is interesting, really quick.
The two hours of free time between I don't know.
I mean, unless everyone has a place to stay, I
don't know if I would love that.

Speaker 2 (01:11:13):
I just wandering around, wandering around, wander around for two hours.
I'm taking my wife back to the hotel room, like.

Speaker 4 (01:11:19):
Okay, I don't know if I would.

Speaker 2 (01:11:21):
Like that, but we're like, yeah, okay, here's where. The
fourth thing that happened that day, which also ruined my
day for me, My hubby and I were talking about
how our morning's had been. I told him mine, and
when we talked about his, he dropped the bomb show
that he had overheard Oh yeah, his two sisters complaining

(01:11:44):
about me, saying they didn't understand why I was so
upset over the fact that they weren't getting their hair
done and ready with me. Wait wait, jaw dropped.

Speaker 4 (01:11:53):
I'm sorry, dude, why are you telling your your wife
this on her wedding day? We didn't need to tell
her this, Like maybe maybe this is a conversation that
you have with your sisters later. Yeah, but you say, hey,
don't talk about my wife like that. You don't need
to tell your wife on her wedding Day's like, by
the way, all your girlies don't like it. You know,
they're freaking talking crap.

Speaker 2 (01:12:14):
I love that we're getting married. None of the girlies
or your friends.

Speaker 4 (01:12:17):
Yeah, why would you tell her to say that? Keep
your mouth shut?

Speaker 2 (01:12:20):
He wants to tell the truth. I get it, there's
a principle.

Speaker 4 (01:12:22):
But I think there's there's a time. Wait one, Yeah,
you have to wait. But also it's like you could
have gone and stood up for her.

Speaker 2 (01:12:29):
Yeah, my jaw dropped. I asked Hubby if he stuck
up for me, and he said no, he didn't want
to cause an argument with them.

Speaker 4 (01:12:38):
Then why are you even bringing it up right now?

Speaker 2 (01:12:40):
This pissed me off, but I let it slide. I
didn't want to have an even crappier day that I
was already having. Finally it was time for the reception.

Speaker 4 (01:12:50):
Yay.

Speaker 2 (01:12:52):
We had our first dance, which I hated. Again I
don't like being the center of attention. And then came
time to cut the cake, the final thing that pushed
me over the edge and completely made me wish my
husband and I had just eloped. As I said previously,
my mom had made our wedding cake and it was
beautiful and I was so grateful. We cut the cake.

(01:13:14):
There was no smashing it in each other's faces, just
very simple. However, one of my hubbies relatives came up
to me and made a joke about the cake looking
cheap in front of my mother.

Speaker 4 (01:13:26):
Why would you say, who are these people? Old family?

Speaker 2 (01:13:30):
Kind of suns They didn't know, maybe that the mom
made the.

Speaker 4 (01:13:33):
Cake, relatives didn't know, didn't know, But regardless, why would
you say that about someone's wedding cake?

Speaker 2 (01:13:39):
Yeah? Like, why, you're right? Why make a joke about
the cake looking cheap? At really a weird wedding? These
people always sow their mouths shut. Now, just for backstory,
my mother doesn't warm people. My mother does not warm
to people very quickly, and after meeting my husband's family
at my hen party, she disliked them. I'm not sure why,

(01:14:02):
but it could have been anything like they looked at
her the wrong way. Anyway. My hobby's relative then said
he was joking and that the cake looked amazing, but
it was too late and the damage was done. My
mother flew into a rage and started yelling at my
husband's relative. I told my mom to please stop. She did,
of course, but she stormed off. A couple minutes later,

(01:14:23):
my dad came up to me and started telling me
off for not sticking up for my mom, and now
she was crying at that. I just said, if this,
I'm done, and I stormed out of my own reception
and ran straight to the bridal suite I would be
staying and flooded of flooded with tears.

Speaker 4 (01:14:41):
This is so so much, so much is happening right now.

Speaker 2 (01:14:45):
I can understand why you don't like to celebrate your
wedding day.

Speaker 4 (01:14:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:14:49):
I text my Hobby that I was back at the
room and I wouldn't be coming back to the reception.
I went into our room, ripped my dress off, through
it onto the ground, and just changed into normal clothes
I had packed. Ubby came bursting into the room, asking
what had happened. I explained to him that, and he
was pissed off with his relative as well as my

(01:15:10):
parents for making me cry. My parents then turned up
in our room, and my mom and I got into
an argument.

Speaker 4 (01:15:17):
Yay, it's something everyone here like. All of the relatives
are just exhausting.

Speaker 2 (01:15:23):
All of the relatives are not making your day any easier.

Speaker 4 (01:15:26):
You know, if he's already going through a lot emotionally.

Speaker 2 (01:15:28):
There's a lot going on. Well, we both cried and
then both apologized to one another.

Speaker 4 (01:15:35):
That's good.

Speaker 2 (01:15:36):
I did leave my room, but only to have food.
I never went back into the reception room, and I
just sat out by the front doors of the venue
until the reception was over and everyone left. In hindsight,
I should have stuck up for my mom, but she
was already on edge with his family, and she was
threatening to kick off if anyone from the husband's side
looked at her. Funny again, I just wanted to keep

(01:15:57):
the peace at my wedding because after that my family
would never see his family ever again. But we want
to see you every day, weekday when we're live on
YouTube at three pm PSD.

Speaker 4 (01:16:09):
All you gotta do is tap our profile and you'll
be let's tap it, you'll join in, man oh man.
And there is a little bit left in this story.

Speaker 2 (01:16:17):
But there is a little bit left.

Speaker 4 (01:16:18):
I got Okay. One, I think that op just didn't
really this is not necessarily like a fault thing. But
it doesn't seem like this wedding was really catered to
Ope's wants and desires, like she doesn't want to be
the center of the tension. But a lot of this
was surrounded, you know, was a lot of traditional wedding stuff.

(01:16:41):
Is putting the bride in the groom, at the center
of protection, at the dead syndrome. Yeah, So if that's
not your vibe, then like express that to your partner
and be like, hey, is there any way we can
cut these parts out or something, or maybe compromise about
what we keep in.

Speaker 2 (01:16:55):
Yeah, I think the plan should have been Elope from the.

Speaker 4 (01:16:57):
Video, Yeah, I would you would think that's what it seems.
Your family sucks. And then the fact that your husband,
like most so many times, his family was just being
awful and just saying awful things about you and disrupting
the wedding and he did not stand up for you,
and then your family on the other end is you know,
making problems. It's just a whole mess.

Speaker 2 (01:17:18):
There's problems all over the place. I later found out
my husband's relative tried apologizing to my mom, but she
just gave him a cold shoulder. My brother wanted to
start a fight with the relative and his family. Oh great.
Someone who I had never met before, who was the
girlfriend of one of our guests, attended our reception without

(01:17:39):
us knowing, got so wasted and caused a scene and
tried starting a fight with one of my relatives. And
that my sister in law, my husband's brother's wife found
out she was pregnant on the morning of our wedding day,
and that our anniversary is special to them too. Just
another reason to hate that day. Looking back, we should
have eloped and just had a at a local village hall,

(01:18:01):
or even better, just not got married at all.

Speaker 4 (01:18:04):
Oh, I honestly think that really quick. I think that
given that op was in such an emotional state, I
think they should have postponed the way.

Speaker 2 (01:18:13):
Yeah, I think village hall wedding.

Speaker 4 (01:18:15):
Yeah, but I think you can still do that. Some
of the says do redo. I think you just do
that radial moment.

Speaker 2 (01:18:21):
Yeah, maybe just your mouths or whatever, like the like
a old folksy European.

Speaker 4 (01:18:28):
Tavern, find a little Irish to little Irish plub where
they're playing some folks.

Speaker 2 (01:18:34):
There's a fiddler in there.

Speaker 4 (01:18:36):
That's all I want.

Speaker 2 (01:18:37):
I'm not their wedding.

Speaker 4 (01:18:40):
I think I was in somewhere in Scotland.

Speaker 2 (01:18:43):
I thought you one of the backyard wedding. Now you want.

Speaker 4 (01:18:45):
The I want to know. I know, not the wedding.
This is unrelated. I want to go like I was
in Edinburgh.

Speaker 2 (01:18:51):
You just want to be there.

Speaker 4 (01:18:52):
And I was in like a little pub and there
was a guy playing like the fiddle, and I was
drinking an old mount and I was like, Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:19:00):
This is where I live, this is my home. It
was great.

Speaker 4 (01:19:04):
Yeah, time my life. Shout out to the Ireland Tourism
Board that was actually in Scotland.

Speaker 2 (01:19:10):
But don't tell him. I said that I'm gonna retract
that anyways. So looking back, we should have eloped and
just had a reception at a local village hall, or
even better, just not got married at all. The only
positive is that we now have a gorgeous baby boy.
The day he was born was the best day of
my life. Oh sorry for the long post. A lot

(01:19:31):
happened that day, And be honest, is this the worst
wedding you have ever read about? Oh no, not even close, not.

Speaker 4 (01:19:38):
Even've read so many bad weddings, not even in.

Speaker 2 (01:19:40):
The starting lineup of worst weddings ever.

Speaker 4 (01:19:43):
Yeah for real.

Speaker 1 (01:19:45):
Hey it's sam og host. We're gonnet back to these
delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from our
sponsors to help support the show.

Speaker 4 (01:19:52):
My brother kept insulting me at the family gathering, so
my husband started.

Speaker 3 (01:19:57):
Swinging left and right, left and right, Dodge.

Speaker 4 (01:20:01):
Sorry for the throw account. I have colleagues on my
main account, and I want to keep this as private
as possible, but I also need advice. As my title says, basically,
this past weekend, me and my husband were over at
my parents' house for a barbecue. The day was going
great until my brother, for some reason, started to have
a go at mate, calling me names and belittling me.

(01:20:21):
My husband pulled my brother aside and had to talk
with him, and the insult stopped. By the way, this
comes from Throwaway battle Pit three nine three on the
Okay storytime separated, so an hour or so later we
were standing around talking with some friends and family members
and my brother comes up to me and told me
I'm a or His exact words were, you know you're
an effing or right?

Speaker 3 (01:20:42):
What why? What is the problem for the barbecue?

Speaker 4 (01:20:46):
Help me about barbecue?

Speaker 3 (01:20:47):
And he's like, I'm just like this potato salad is smacking,
and then you get called that.

Speaker 4 (01:20:54):
He said it loud enough for almost everyone at the
party to hear. All I saw was my husband next
to me, look at me. Then I fell to push
to the side, my husband stepping in front of me,
and the next thing was my brother out cold on
the ground with blood on his face. Niama, nice, niem.
All I heard is my mother yelling and my husband saying,

(01:21:14):
you don't talk to my wife like that. I warned
you already.

Speaker 3 (01:21:17):
Wow, you guys got a barbecue and a show.

Speaker 4 (01:21:20):
Before I continue. My husband didn't hurt me. He didn't
push me hard or anything like that. Don't know how
to describe it, but it was like a push that
someone will give you when they're trying to pass. I
went like one step back, that's all. I'm not mad
at my husband. I'm mad at my brother. The whole
day he was demeaning me, insulting me, belittling me, I
don't know where this came from, as he's never talked
to me like that or to anyone that I know of.

(01:21:42):
I wonder what he thought he knew. I'm wondering if
he thought like Ope.

Speaker 3 (01:21:46):
Something didn't get ages or anything like that. No, no ages, Okay.
I feel like if we read more, we're gonna find
out why.

Speaker 4 (01:21:55):
I think I think the brother probably thought he found
out something about Opepe, like she was cheating or something
like that, something.

Speaker 3 (01:22:01):
I don't know, but also maybe intoxicated positive.

Speaker 4 (01:22:05):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:22:06):
We didn't get that detail.

Speaker 4 (01:22:06):
The bigger problem is that I have to choose either
my husband or my parents. My parents are pissed and
have given me an ultimatum. I either leave my husband
and divorce him, wow, or they cut me off completely.
I mean, are they not going to do anything about this? Brother?

Speaker 3 (01:22:21):
Yeah, I'm sorry. Do you understand why? Yeah, the husband
was defending Ope.

Speaker 4 (01:22:26):
My husband doesn't give a crap that they're mad. The
only thing he's mad about is that he only got
one puncheon his words. I love my husband and don't
want to lose him, but I also don't want to
lose my parents. They've supported me through a lot and
I've always been there for me. I know they're serious,
as this is the first time they have ever issued
me with an ultimatum. They also threatened my husband with

(01:22:47):
an assault charge, but he doesn't care and welcome them
to do it. Yeah, I mean I visually, I don't
think that what violence is ever the answer. But I
also understand that from Ope's productive, her husband was defending her.

Speaker 3 (01:22:58):
Yes, and he did give warning.

Speaker 4 (01:23:00):
Yeah. I'm stuck between a decision that will change my
life forever, and I'm panicking. I have received messages from
friends and other family members that have given me support
and condemned my husband, but they are leaning more on
the support side. Any advice will be appreciated. Edit to clarify,
I'm choosing my husband. I have never questioned that, but
I also don't want to lose my family. I am
very family oriented and family to me is everything. I

(01:23:23):
want to find a solution where I can keep both
and there is an updates.

Speaker 3 (01:23:27):
We still didn't get a reasoning.

Speaker 4 (01:23:28):
We don't know I maybe she doesn't know.

Speaker 3 (01:23:31):
I mean, yeah, maybe, but why are the parents just
out of the blue, like we're taking your brother's side?

Speaker 4 (01:23:37):
Yeah, especially when OPI said he said the effing or
thing loud enough for.

Speaker 3 (01:23:42):
It, and everyone heard it. Maybe not everyone heard it,
but people heard it where it was just like, yeah, okay, weird.

Speaker 4 (01:23:47):
We're not going to follow up on that at all.

Speaker 3 (01:23:49):
I don't know where the parents are coming from. Like, yeah,
he kind of deserved it, did he did? He really
hurt him a little bit? Was it well deserved? Yeah?
Shut him up?

Speaker 4 (01:24:00):
Yeah. I think if I were in this situation, I
would be a little bit mad at Like if i
Ropio would be a little bit mad at the husband,
I'll be like, Okay, that's not how we do things.
But I'd also be like the brother is the problem too,
Like he started this, he was running his mouth about me.

Speaker 3 (01:24:15):
This all stemmed from the brother. Yeah. Again he was warned,
if you don't stop, I'm going to shut you up.
And guess what, he shut him up.

Speaker 4 (01:24:21):
And there is an update. My husband is my choice
and I have no intentions of leaving him at all,
never had. I know it's early for an update, but
I'm more confused now about what's going on. My parents
invited me over to have a talk with them, but
they wanted me to come alone as they didn't want
my husband at their house. My husband refused to let
me go alone and said if he isn't going, then
he won't allow me to. I don't like that. No,

(01:24:43):
he basically said, with you alone, that they will just
pile on you, and that I won't let that happen.
So we went together. My parents weren't happy to see him,
and my mother wanted to say something until my husband
told her he isn't there for them but me, and
if he's forced to leave, I will leave with him.
I agree with them. Reluctantly, they agreed. My brother was
there as well. He had a broken nose and a
chip tooth and refused to look at me or my husband.

Speaker 3 (01:25:06):
You deserved it, man, He just kept looking.

Speaker 4 (01:25:08):
At the ground even while talking. Apparently, what happened with
my brother is that he broke up with his girlfriend
a month ago. It's more like she broke up with him.
Don't know the reason, don't care. I wasn't aware of this,
as we aren't close like that. According to him, the
reason he had to go at me this weekend is
because of my life. Terrible reason, terrible reasoning.

Speaker 3 (01:25:25):
No, No, so many people have.

Speaker 4 (01:25:28):
Gone through breakups and they don't start you know, saying
you know, yeah, calling their siblings' names. Yeah. According to him,
my perfect life with my husband kept popping up on
his feeds and he got jealous.

Speaker 3 (01:25:39):
Sounds like an issue, you brah.

Speaker 2 (01:25:41):
Come on.

Speaker 4 (01:25:42):
Everything on my social media is with my husband. I
don't really use it for anything else. But his feed
was full of my posts and that sent him off
as I had something that he didn't. It got worse
when he overheard me and my mother talking when I
had a discussion with her over children. Me and my
husband are currently trying to have a baby, and that
just made everything worse in his head. His life was
falling apart and mine was going perfectly, and I was

(01:26:04):
trying to have what he wanted with his ex. He
said he didn't take my husband seriously when he pulled
him aside, and my husband warned him. I seriously don't
know why he went after me, as nothing he said
was true in any sense, and I did ask him
why he said those things. He refused to answer me.
I asked him why the ore comment, because he knows
my husband was my first and everything and it has

(01:26:24):
only been him all these years. He refused to answer.
I asked him if trying to have a baby with
my husband makes me an oar as it involves spicy
sleep and he just left the room.

Speaker 3 (01:26:33):
Dude, you imagine being so insecure because you just got
broken up with for maybe a good reason.

Speaker 4 (01:26:39):
It's show seemingly a good reason. If this is how
you're acting, and.

Speaker 3 (01:26:42):
You're taking it out on your sister because she's having
a happy life and she wants a baby.

Speaker 4 (01:26:47):
Crazy, you are like, regardless if she was married or not,
it's totally out of line to say this comment. But
also she's married.

Speaker 3 (01:26:55):
You're a sad little man. You are a sad little man.
And wow, the fact that you're like I can't say
anything with a broken nose. Again, broken nose was well deserved.

Speaker 4 (01:27:03):
I asked my parents why they didn't step in and
tell my brother to leave or stop. My dad said
he wanted to, but my mother told him to leave
my brother be as he's actually not hurting anyone. He's
not hurting you. That's ridiculous. He's not hurting you.

Speaker 3 (01:27:16):
He was hurting Ope, yeah, what if he called mom?

Speaker 4 (01:27:19):
Yeah, i'ms the same with the ultimatum. They wanted to
protect my brother. I asked what about me? And they
were silent. That's so sad. All my father said was
the ultimatum was my mother's idea, and he went along
with it. Yeah, it seems like you're a freaking coward, dude.
He's like, oh, well, she told me not to talk
to your brother, so I didn't the app Well, she
wanted to have an ultimatum, so we did that.

Speaker 3 (01:27:41):
The apple does not fall from the tree here.

Speaker 4 (01:27:43):
It seems like this is basically where we are at
the moment. A lot more was said, but I don't
think it matters. My husband did apologize to my parents
for what happened, but refused to apologize to my brother.
When my mother asked him to apologize to my brother,
he outright said no, he won't apologize for standing up
for me and my brother got what he deserved. He
was warned and didn't listen. My mother said, it still

(01:28:04):
doesn't excuse him for hitting my brother. My husband asked
my dad what would he do if someone called his
wife in orr. My father said I would have a
talk with that person, but would never hit someone. My
husband laughed and told my dad he was a weak willed,
spineless man if he allowed someone to demean his wife
like that I do think that this guy is spineless,
but I am I would not want my partner to

(01:28:26):
punch someone, even if they were saying things about me.

Speaker 3 (01:28:28):
I think it was just a like the spur of
the moment. Yeah, and like I said, will deserve but
violence is never the air.

Speaker 4 (01:28:33):
Events is never the answer. I still yeah, it's like
I guess I'm of the mind of if you're going
to start talking crap, expect to get hit, but you
should not hit someone.

Speaker 3 (01:28:42):
Yeah, you know that's true. For clinching.

Speaker 4 (01:28:43):
Yeah, that got my mom read in the face. I
could see her get angry. That is when I told
my husband it's time to leave. I told my parents
that I will be going low contact with them, and
the ultimatum they gave me broke the trust I had
in them. I understand they wanted to protect my brother,
but in doing that, they hurt me. This seemed to
take all the anger out of my mother. They asked
if I will be cutting them out completely, and I

(01:29:04):
told them that's up to them. I don't want anything
to do with my brother at the moment, as he
can't even apologize for what he said to me. I
told them, if they can respect my wishes. We'll see
a you would be respecting our wishes if you joined
us live every weekday three pm PST on YouTube. Just
tap her profile and there is a little bit left.
But regardless of how I feel about you know your
husband's actions, I do think it's the right move to

(01:29:25):
go low contact because your parents are just not at
all supporting you or recognizing that you got hurt in
this situation. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:29:31):
I mean, sometimes actions speak louder than words, and sometimes
words speak louder than actions. And obviously this was all
stem from the brother of just being jealous, Yes, just.

Speaker 4 (01:29:41):
Being jealous, and your parents letting him get away with that.

Speaker 3 (01:29:43):
I don't understand why the parents are just like, it's okay,
so that's what siblings do. Yeah, no, no, no, no
no no.

Speaker 4 (01:29:50):
When we got up to leave, my husband went over
to my parents and actually still greeted them politely, but
told my dad it's time to grow a backbone. Dang.
I don't know what I saw, but I think it
was shame in my mother's face, because my dad looked
at my mother and she looked away from him. This
is where we are at the moment. My husband on
the way back home apologized for possibly escalating things, but
told me it was time someone told my dad the truth.

(01:30:12):
He said, whatever punishment comes, he'll take and deal with
any fallout. I don't need to worry or stress about anything,
and that is the end of that story.

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