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January 30, 2025 โ€ข 60 mins

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My uncle forced my grandpa on a carnivore diet, so
I called protective services. And this comes directly from one
of our own and the subreddits. I have so many
opinions about this. Everyone's gonna open up and we're gonna
learn so much of this episode because I have so
many opinions. Okay, here we go.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Two.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Just give the characters up front fake names. Use for
Amminimity me female twenty eight. My mother will call Paula
female sixty one. My uncle, my mother's youngest sibling, we'll
call boot Scoot Junior, male fifty six. My grandfather boot
Scoot Senior, also referred to as Pap mal eighty three.

(00:42):
My sister Carla female thirty six, my now deceased aunt
Bibie female fifty four when she passed in the middle
of the children to my grandma and Pap, just in
case I have to include them for any reason. My
husband Keannu thirty three male. All right, so we have
all the characters.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
All the characters we got boot Scoot Junior, Bootscoot Senior,
and then some months Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
And by the way, this comes from non four M
three and zero on on the R sage. Okay, not
story time Sebready, here's a bit of context, so that
maybe there aren't many questions. So my grandfather has always
been her mudgety old man. He's reminiscent. These are big
words of Clint Eastwood's character in the movie Grand Terino

(01:28):
if you need a picture painted, but add about seventy
five pounds. At least he was much heavier at the
time when I saw him at a distant relatives funeral
over a year ago. He's very opinionated, has been verbally
abusive to the people in his younger years, and even
a little bit on the physical side of bubu to

(01:49):
his wife when she was live. So he ostracized himself
from most of the younger family that way. Yes, he
calmed down with old age, but that doesn't negate the
things that he's done. So my nuclear family is low contact.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
That makes sense. Is this? Wait? Is this Bootscoot junior?

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Bootsgoo Senior sounds like boot Scoot senior.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Okay, yeah, so not not the best guy.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
I'm the best guy either. My mother moved back to
our town earlier this year after living near California for
almost twenty years, so she now lives with me and
my husband and children. When Bootscoot Junior got divorced, he
eventually moved in with boot Scoot Senior to help take
care of him as he got older. My mother had
tried for a time to be his character taker about

(02:37):
four to five years ago now, but she is an
out lesbian and our senior is very homophobic, so she
had to step down because he was saying awful things
to her. So for the last three years approximately, Bootscoot
Junior had been taken care of Senior. Now Bootscoot Junior
is an add duck.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
So Bootscoot Senior school Junior. Yes, maybe maybe learning a
thing or two.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
I am all here for a little conspiracy theory diving,
but he goes a bit far. When he moved in
with Senior, Junior was heavy set by his own words,
that's not my judgment, so he was trying to lose weight. Well,
somewhere along the line he learned of something called the
carnivore's diet. It's literally three rules only meat only, drink

(03:24):
water only, season it with salt. Junior began to lose
weight rapidly.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
Okay, I'm so confused, Powell.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
It does. There's some people on TikTok that went like
super viral. They eat three pounds of meat every day.
A pound?

Speaker 2 (03:38):
Is that? Because don't you you need like you need
veggies and you need like other things to stay healthy.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
I believe your This is just from me listening to
my mother and you guys know who I am. Your
blood naturally produces certain whatever you need.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
Maybe some people do it in more.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
Yeah, some people's blood like blood supplies what they need regularly.
They can go on that kind of diet. But other
people can't do that.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
The only thing that I'm wondering about is like scurvy,
you know, because if you don't eat any vitamin CEA,
but vitamin C is like oranges and citrus and stuff,
and so if you're not eating any of that stuff,
you're losing your teeth.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
That's true. I've seen that on TikTok where people like
I haven't had any headaches anymore. I feel great in meat.
I don't buy it, but I don't buy that we
had doctor assumed that he was my grandfather's older brother
because of how good he looks. A curious Google search
without digging at all will bring up all the awful
things about this diet it can go to cause heart disease,

(04:37):
kidney problems, clout cancer, and in some cases, and that
just the first couple of things listed. One of the
big problems though, that it causes significant nutrients deficiency because
you're not getting any vitamins and minerals you need from
just meat and water and salt. Now to the actual incident,
Bootscoot Junior decided that he didn't like his father's way,

(05:00):
and since he was doing the cooking and cleaning and
the food shopping, decided to put his eighty three year
old father with diabetes on his die with him. Mel
pre No, when you have diabetes, you need salt like
you need more meat.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
No, you need like you need a very specific kind
of meat like food and diet and stuff yourself. You
have to get a certain amount of sugar, is Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
So you get them on barbecue chicken, then you put
them on some uh some goat meat, and then after
that finish it off with some mass.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
Grandfather is not gonna survive this diet. I'm so stressed.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
A part of the carnivore diet is the you can't
cut it unfortunately because of it because of our low
contact with them due to our opinions and ideologies, we
didn't see how bad things were getting. So my mom
gets a call from her brother saying that Pap is
in the hospital and they're trying to transfer him to
a nursing facility because of how weak and lethargic he is.

(05:59):
Mom asked what happened. Junior told her Pop fell and
hit his head, so he brought him in. It wasn't
until my mother and I and my sister went to
visit path the next day that we saw how bad
they really was. Pappy is so skinny that you can
see every bone in his body. He's lost terror due
to the malnourishment. He's so weak he can't chew and

(06:19):
he can't swallow without help. He's wearing napers doppers, and
when he talks, he damn near whispers, as if if
he talks all he's usually sleeping. And he had lost
about all but tu's toes to his diabetes.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
This is this is abuse. I get that man out
of there. I feel like you could send this guy
to like this, the junior to jail, like call the
police on him. That's crazy. If he if he's in
charge of taking care of the father, he cannot be
letting him live this way.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
I work as a CNA. I see this stuff daily,
but this was significant decline very quickly. Booscoo Junior showed
up to visit while we were looking at him and
was acting as if Pap was one hundred percent fine.
Told us my sister had needed to drive from her
state to visit because he wasn't dying and he probably

(07:15):
gonna come home soon. We asked him about what he's
been feeding Pap, and that's when he went off on
his carnivore diet tangent. He says he's never been healthier
or felt better. He said it cured PAP's diabetes. He
said he's done his research and Pap doesn't need his
insulin anymore. Said me and my mom and my sister

(07:37):
could do it with trying because they are way overweight.
I wouldn't pretend to be skinny here, but yeah, I'm
chunky with But what the hell?

Speaker 3 (07:45):
He Oh my god, he.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
Said, if aunt Biebie had been on this die, she
would have lived longer to At this point, I'm realizing
how delusional this manage. Right now?

Speaker 2 (07:54):
Okay, wall, I'm sorry. Is he not giving his diabetic
father insulin either he isn't.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
He swears he did his research, but it doesn't take
more than a minute long Google search to find everything
wrong with his diet. But he can control his own
body and life, so we on that. But to force
your eighty three year old father onto the diet so too,
stop checking his blood sugar or giving him insolin is
something else. Entirely. I genuinely believe that Pap is nutrient

(08:25):
deficient and that's what causes plummeted downhill.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
Absolutely absolutely, that's what's causing it.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
Facility is literally assessing him to be put on hospice.
Junior says he only failed once, but Pap is covered
in bruises until he fell more than once. So after
a long sense of talk with my mother, my sister,
and my husband, who is also a CNA, my mom
asks if I would make an honest call to adult
protect his God. Yeah, wow, I said absolutely, While apparently

(08:57):
either the hospital or the facility already had because he
had an active caseworker and a report had been made
the day after he was transferred from the hospital to
the nursing home and wellness facility. We left a message
as the caseworker was out in the field, so I
wasn't able to talk to them directly, and it was
a Friday, so I'm hoping to talk to them on Monday.

(09:19):
We went to visit Pap again on Saturday and Junior
showed up. He started giving the aid a hard time
for giving Pap a mushed up brownie, despite Pap saying
he really liked it and wanted it.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
He's finally getting food that's not meat.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
Then he got mad, saying he was questioned earlier that
day by Adult Protective Services about why Pop was up skinning.
He told them it was because he just doesn't want
to eat those days that much, except anyone can tell
he's too weak to chew and the meat isn't exactly
easy to chew to begin with. We left before he
could start pointing fingers, but not before he handed a

(09:57):
steak to one of the nurses and told him to
heat it up for you, the PAP who doesn't have
his dentures. I feel like Junior is a danger to
himself and others. By the way, you won't be a
danger if you joined us live every weekday at three
pm PSC on YouTube. It's taper for Rofhile I feel
like he is delusional. You're not wrong, girl. He thinks

(10:18):
doctors are all liars and government lackeys. If you don't
immediately agree with him about this, cardvoar, diet shitannery your
enemy numero uno. So when APS calls back on Monday,
would I be the A hole if I called him
out told them everything I've learned? How do you reason
with someone so reasonable? My Pap wasn't a saint by enemies,

(10:42):
and the love I felt for him as a child
is doormat to be frank. But when my mother is hurting,
Grandma died when I was seven, and she was close
with her. She's losing her last living parent, and it
may very be because of their own little brother's negligence.
So RADI am I the A hole?

Speaker 2 (11:01):
I think that you would be the a hole if
you don't tell, Because this is this is not like,
oh he's weird guy. This is a person's life seems
to be at risk. Someone's being treated really your grandfather's
being treated really terribly and obviously like he wasn't a
good guy, Like he's mistreated you and your family in

(11:23):
the past. But no one deserves one deserves this when
they're that old, so definitely call Adult Protective Services and
let them know what you know, because this is this
is not safe. My girlfriend's mother stole ten k from me.
I'm calling the police. My relationship with my girlfriend's mother

(11:44):
has recently turned sour after she took my Transformer toys
from my flat to give to her grandson. She stole
the transformers. I'm presuming they're worth a lot. She has
refused to give them back, saying that someone in the
twenties shouldn't have toys in their flat up. The issue
is that they are collectibles in addition to toys, since

(12:04):
the majority of them date to the nineteen eighties. Their
combined value is estimated to be roughly ten to eleven
koh haven't gotten them appraised, but that is what I'll
put down if I make the report. I informed her
of the value, but she brushed it aside by stating, well,
they're just toys. I even told her I'll go to
the store to pick some toys for her grandson, but
she doesn't want that and refused by saying they don't

(12:27):
make them like they used to. By the way, this
comes from Russo DOL eighty six on the r slashaka
storytime Subreddit. I'm sorry, did she like break into his house?
When did she steal these toys? That's insane. My girlfriend
and I have spoken about this, but she doesn't want
to become involved and prefers that I handle it on
my own red flag.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
That's your mom, that's her mom.

Speaker 3 (12:50):
Her mom stole your stuff.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
I told her that I have exhausted all options and
that the next logical step is probably to report the
items as stolen. Also, who kind of because if she
gave the toys to her grandson, he's probably like open them,
you know, because sometimes with collectibles they have them in
the packages and stuff. Dealing something worth ten K isn't
a misdemeanor either. This is a felony level theft. Additionally,

(13:15):
the mother took them by entering my flat using my
girlfriend's key. That's literally My girlfriend said she would speak
to her mother and ask her not to do anything
similar ever again. But I should let this one go
and not escalate the matter because if I reported it,
we would be done. You should be done. Yep, she
literally stole your stuff. Doing it now, your girlfriend's not

(13:36):
doing anything about it, and it's like, just let it go.
Just let it go. It would be different if your
girlfriend said, oh, like, you know, just let it go.
I'll get the stuff back, and she gets it back. Yeah,
that's different. She said she would only talk and involve
herself if I promised to not do anything about it.
And I should value our two and a half your
relationship more than some plastic toys. No one is listening

(13:58):
to ape about the value of these toys.

Speaker 1 (14:00):
That's not what we're debating the relationship over. It's about stealing.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
Ten K worth of stuff. Also, just even if it
wasn't ten k, she stole his stuff. I don't understand
why she isn't valuing our relationship and getting my stuff
back from her family. Yeah she's she's saying, oh, I
should value the relationship over the toys. You should value
the relationship over your wrecking, you know, protecting your mom
who's a thief.

Speaker 1 (14:22):
Yeah, why don't you prioritize a relationship over the month?

Speaker 2 (14:24):
I just want my things returned. I genuinely find it
hard to believe she's siding with her mother. We've already
been into a few arguments over this over the past
several days, and I don't think things will get better.
A part of me believes that her mother will likely
sell them for a profit or something and then purchase
the cheaper ones for her grandson to give him on
his sixth birthday. This kid is only six, he doesn't

(14:46):
care what toys he gets.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
It might be starting his entrepreneurial journey.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
So many I don't want to involve the police and
ruin my relationship with my girlfriend or her mother. Up
until now, her mother has been nothing but nice to me.
Is there a more effective a pro to take advice?
And there are some relevant comments, but I feel like
if your girlfriend's not supporting you, it's kind of game over. Yeah,
relevant comments Opie. When told to go over and get

(15:12):
them back, Opie says, get them out. I don't know
where they are, most probably in their house, but I
don't think she'll let me search her house for my stuff.
Asking for it hasn't worked. And Airplane Corn says, hang
the f on. She can answer your house to steal
your crap, but she won't let you into her house
to get your stolen property back. Bro, I can't effing

(15:32):
even get the f out of here. Tell your girlfriend
to take you over there and let you in and
look for your crap also said, child recipient of your
stolen property is a relation to your girlfriend. Tell her
to get you in touch with that child's family so
they can return your stolen property. If your girlfriend want
to either, then she's morally complicit in you being robbed.

Speaker 1 (15:52):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
King Alistair says, sure you want to be with a
girlfriend who supports her mother and theft instead of just
going and taking those toys and bring them back to you. Oh,
he says, I see what you're saying. But other than
this one thing, the rest of our relationship has been good.
But I think sometimes one big thing is enough to realize, oh,
this person is not right for me.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
Limitless Megan says, here's the thing. Her mother led herself
into your home to intentionally steal from you. But she's
not gonna say anything. She's taking the keyback, she's not
demanding things get returned. She's doing nothing, and she will
punish you if you do the one thing you have
left to do. Basically, your girlfriend is helping her mom
steal from you, and I'm guessing agrees with her mom

(16:33):
about your toys. Quote. Are you sure your girlfriend wasn't
in on them being taken? And why is it okay
for her to throw your two and a half year
relationship away so her mom can get away with literally
stealing from you? And why would you want to preserve
a relationship with someone who thinks so little of you,
your feelings and your belongings. And there is an update

(16:54):
to finish this story off. But I do think I
think file a police report with a girlfriend.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
I am curious with the girlfriend. Does his girlfriend live
with Opie?

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah? I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
That if she was living with OPI that is my
other concerns.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
She has a key to the apartment, but I do
believe that she doesn't live with him.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
If she live with him, she probably want to stay
together because she has nowhere else to go.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
Update. I broke up with my girlfriend good because she
continued to take her mom's side and threaten to break
up with me. Well yeah, just like call her bluff, right, Okay,
let's do it. Police report has also been filed. Smart
wrote down the estimated value to be thirteen K when
the police asked for me for it. Fingers crossed now

(17:38):
relevant comments. Queen Silly says, don't forget to get your
lock change. Definitely, she's already broken in Yeah, good point,
Opie says, already asked the building manager to do that.
They should get changed by the end of the week,
and embarrassed help says, does the theft of ten K
plus worth of stuff increase the potential charges that girlfriend's
mom's could mom could face, not to mention that they

(18:00):
may become damaged while in her possession if she doesn't
try to sell the Opie says, according to the police, yes,
that is why they asked me to add three K
to my estimation. They would have to be appraised once retrieved,
though for charges to be pressed. Mundane Currency says, everything
will be out of the box now. No way a
kid understands value, which is what I'm saying, unless she

(18:20):
sold them to collectors, in which case she will have
to pay you for them. And Opie says she hasn't
given them to him yet. She's waiting for his birthday,
which is in a few days, thank god.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
Yeah, I suspect she won't.

Speaker 2 (18:31):
Give them to him now after knowing what they're worth,
and will try to sell them for profit. And there
is an update two years later. I'm just gonna read
it because it's sort Oh my gosh, I wanted to
give you an update about my Transformers collection that was
stolen by my ex's mother. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to
recover any of that. No, that's but we settled for

(18:53):
seven K, so Opie basically lost about oh seven This
amount is definitely less than what I believe was fair.
But at this point I'm ready to move on. The
past two years have been incredibly tough and I just
want to put this behind me. Thank you all for
your support. It meant a lot to me when I
needed this most that really, I mean, I'm glad that

(19:16):
op He's no longer in that relationship, but it does
that they didn't get what they were owed. I hope
that freaking six year old likes his Transformers.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
I bet he's happy with them.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
You better be freaking happy.

Speaker 1 (19:27):
Oh man. I would do my best to find those
yeah Transformers. I wonder what they're worth now.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
Probably less because like if he played with them, he
didn't really specify whether she gave them to the kid
or she sold them.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
What a bummer.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
I forbid my sister from announcing her pregnancy at my wedding,
but she did it anyway. Projects I thirty female got
married last weekend, congratulate and it was supposed to be
the happiest day of my life. But drama unfolded and
now my family is split in half. No, I need
to know if my the a hole or if my

(20:01):
reaction was justified by the way. This comes from Outrageous
Gap seventeen six ninety on the Best of Redditors subreddit.
So backstory. My younger sister, twenty seven female, let's call
her Lucy, has always been the golden child of the family.
She's smart, beautiful, has always been the center of attention,
whether it's her birthdays and graduations or significant life events.

(20:25):
I've always felt I was living in her shadow, but
I've never said anything. He goes well, She's my sister
and I love her. Lucy got pregnant a couple months ago,
and while I'm genuinely happy for her, I was also
relieved that my wedding day could finally be about me
or once no one overshadows me, no unexpected news, just me,

(20:46):
my partner and our big day. A week before the wedding,
Lucy called me and during what I thought was a
casual sisterly chat, she drops this bomb show wouldn't it
be amazing? If I propose my pregnancy during your recon
it would be such a surprise. Wow, wouldn't it be
great if I made your day about me like.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
We usually do. Because she's been pregnant for like a months,
and she's like she had all this time to announce it,
but she's waited. She's waiting until she can steal the day.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
She went on to explain that all of our family
would be there. She thought it would be such a
special moment for everyone.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
It's a pea special moment. Get your own.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
I would say, yes, if you bay me half of my.

Speaker 2 (21:31):
Wedding, Yeah, yeah, if you help out.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
I was stunned. I told her politely but firmly, that
I didn't think it was a good idea. I had
spent months planning this day and I wanted it to
be about my husband and me, not a pregnancy announcement.
Lucy said I was overreacting and being selfish. She said
it wasn't a big deal and that everyone would be.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
So happy, you and me happy.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
I read reiterated my stance no announcement at my wedding.
I thought that was it. We've talked about it the
day of the wedding. No fast forward to the reception.
Everything was going beautifully. I was having the time of
my life until I noticed Lucy looking a bit smut.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
No, she's got to do it.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
That's when she tapped her glass for attention. My stomach
dropped in front of all of our guests. She stood
up and announced her pregnancy. Anyway, the room erupted in
cheers and congratulations. I was frozen in shock. It felt

(22:38):
like a dream. People immediately swarmed her with hugs and questions,
and suddenly my wedding was no longer about me. It
was Lucy and her baby. I was furious. My husband
could see it, my bridesmaids could see it, and honestly,
anyone paying attention could see. I was upset, but I
didn't want to cause a scene where I left the

(22:59):
reception or crying in the bridal suite. My husband tried
to console me, but I was hard. Now here's where
things get worse.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
I don't like things. See.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
It was the next day Lucy sent me a text
saying I was being a drama queen.

Speaker 2 (23:13):
Of course Lucy would say that.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
And that everyone was happy for her. My parents are
taking her side, Oh my goodness, saying I should have
just let her have her moment.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
She has her moment every day, and.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
That I'm being mature for being upset. But a few
of my cousins and friends have reached out to me
telling me that they thought what Lucy did was selfish
and wrong. The family is now divided. Some say I'm overreacting,
while others say Lucy was out of line. So am
I the a hole for getting upset that my sister
hijacked my wedding?

Speaker 2 (23:44):
She's not the ahole? Obviously not the ahole? And I
think that you need to stick by the family members
that are on your side and kind of push those
other ones that are not taking your side, because I mean,
why are they so supportive of Lucy? It seems like
this has been a throughout your life and it's just
not serving you, yeah anymore to be around these people.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
Everything in a nutshell. My sister asked to announce her
pregnancy at my wedding. I said no, but she did
it anyways. Now I'm being called selfish and immature for
being upset about it? Am I the a whole? Comments?
Not the ahole? Go no contacts with her on her side.
She needs to learn that her actions have consequences. Silence
is your best response to all of them f people

(24:25):
talking over your paid party for their selfish bs. I'm
on to two. At her baby shower, announce that you're
pregnant even though you're not. That's pretty good. Come to three,
not the a hole. Send her the bill for her
announcement party. There we go, Yes, get paid. Explain to
your parents you told her and she did it. Anyways,
she should pay, save your messages and video, offer to

(24:49):
go immediately to Small Claims Core. If she doesn't pay,
I would even figure out how far in the reception
this was done and charge her that percentage of all
the costs and blast her on social media. Good phrases
and hashtags are hashtag golden child, hashtag entitled, hashtag made character.
Let everyone know she can't stand for anything to be

(25:10):
all about you, even at your own wedding. Let her
face the consequences or pony up the money. That is brilliant.
This is the best comment. Suing and then going on
TikTok with it. Get ready with me explaining what your
sister did. That is my favorite comment ever.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
Update.

Speaker 1 (25:27):
Hey Reddit, it's me again, the one whose sister hijacked
her wedding with a surprise pregnancy announcement. First of all,
I just want to thank everyone who commented on my
original post. I never expected to go viral, and reading
your responses really gave me some clarity I figured out
I owe y'all an update, especially since things have really
escalated since then. What happened after the wedding. So after

(25:47):
the wedding, I took a few days to cool down.
I didn't want to respond to any of the family
drama immediately because honestly I needed some space to process everything.
Lucy and my parents kept pushing for a result, insisting
that I should apologize for storming out my own wedding
and for making a big deal out of nothing. I

(26:09):
held firm, though I told them how deeply hurt I was,
how Lucy had completely disregarded my feelings and my boundaries.
I tried to explain that it wasn't just about the announcement,
it was about years of feeling like I always came
second to her. Unsurprisingly, Lucy doubled down and kepp calling

(26:29):
me dramatic and self centered.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
My parents were still on her side, repeating how everyone
was happy and that I should let it go.

Speaker 2 (26:38):
That's the only thing they say. They're just not the
broken records. This is literally they're like, you're thalfash, you're
making this about you. Just let it go. That's the
only things they say.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
Family divide. Now here's where things got even messy. My
cousins and some extended family caught wind of what was
going on. Thanks social media, and the family divide has
gotten even wilder.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
Everyone's taking size. We got a family civil war going on.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
One of my cousins actually called Lucy out publicly, saying
what she did was attention seeking and disrespectful.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
Well this is great because now it doesn't even have
to do anything.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
Bro, we got a civil war coming here.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
Literally. Oh, he's just like, take a step back, let
my family do with the duncan.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
That led to a full blown family argument in our
group chat, with people picking sides. The weirdest part, some
family members who initially didn't say much are now telling
me they've always seen Lucy as a golden child too,
and they're really glad someone finally spoke up. Of course,
just didn't go over well with my parents. My mom
told me I was tearing the family apart, but I

(27:42):
needed to put an end to this nonsense. But I
wasn't the one who made it public, and I can't
control what other people say or think.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
Yeah, if someone else posted about it and was like, hey,
I notice this behavior. That's not a Bee's fault.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
The breaking point. What really shocked me, though, was how
my dad reacted. He's usually the peacemaker, but he straight
up told me that I ruin Lucy's big moment, her
pregnancy announcement, and that I'm holding a grudge for no reason.
That hurt more than I expected because I always thought
he at least understood where I was coming from. On

(28:18):
top of that, my parents invited Lucy and her husband
over for dinner a few nights ago, but they didn't
invite me. When I asked why, my mom said that
they didn't want any more drama.

Speaker 2 (28:28):
Lucy's causing the drama. This is so annoying. Lucy is
so manipulative, and the parents just eat it up.

Speaker 1 (28:34):
This is so crazy. So now I'm not only dealing
with the emotional fallout from the wedding, but I'm also
feeling like I'm being pushed out of my own family.
I've been doing a lot of reflecting and honestly I
don't think I can keep pretending everything's okay for the
sake of keeping peace. I love my family, but I
can't keep sacrificing my feelings and self respect just to

(28:55):
avoid conflict. My husband has been super supportive through all
of this, and he he's encouraged me to set clear
boundaries with both my sister and parents. So, as hard
as it is, I've decided to go low contact with
Lucy and my parents right now. I'm not cutting them
out completely. I need space to heal and to figure

(29:16):
out or if I want to move forward with them.
Some of my cousins have reached out to say they've
supported me good and that's been a huge comfort during
all this. Am I they ale for density myself after
everything that has happened, not the a whole. We have
one comment I'm gonna read commenter one. Absolutely not the
A hole. I hate suggesting low contact or no contact,

(29:37):
but to be honest, it sounds like the only option
in the scenario if you wish to keep your self respect.
What Lucy did was terrible, and the way your parents
are taking her side is equally forward. I would get
closer to your cousins. They seem like your real family. Ope,
thanks for the sport. I agree, no low contact seems
necessary to keep myself respect. Lucy's actions her and my

(30:01):
parents siding with her make it worse. I'll definitely focus
on my cousins who've been supportive, appreciate your advice, and.

Speaker 2 (30:09):
There you have it. That's it. I think that's the answer.
I think it's find your cousins, find your real family,
and drop these people who've been making your life all
about Lucy for years.

Speaker 4 (30:20):
The guy I'm dating won't stop talking about his female
best friend. I can't take it anymore.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
Don't take it. I started seeing this new guy Beck
a couple of weeks ago.

Speaker 3 (30:30):
I had known him for a while before we began dating.

Speaker 4 (30:32):
He is really sweet and awesome, and the first three
dates we went on went amazingly and I really enjoyed
being with them. By the way, this comes from throwaway
for Days on the Ours Last Okay Storytime subreddit. So
here's the problem. He has a very close friend Kim,
who seems to constantly be in the picture.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
During date number four, he talked about her a lot,
like a lot, a lot.

Speaker 4 (30:55):
She was somehow at the topic of every conversation and
When I would try to chain topics, he'd always find
his way drifting back to a memory of the two
of them shared together. Granted, they grew up together and
I also dated at some point, so it would make sense.

Speaker 3 (31:10):
That they would have lots of memories in chemistry.

Speaker 4 (31:12):
He also began telling me the trip the two of
them are planning to take, how they were taking her car,
staying in her family's house, et cetera. I tried to
ignore it at first and just let it go because
I too have a close friend of the opposite sex.

Speaker 3 (31:25):
But we never do anything like the way they do.

Speaker 4 (31:28):
Our relationship is platonic and the most we ever do
is play Xbox together. I asked him to be my
date to my brother's wedding, since I had plus one.

Speaker 3 (31:37):
This was after about two weeks.

Speaker 4 (31:38):
Of dating, and he declined, saying he had already made
plans on that day to go bowling with some friends.
But after I spoke with a mutual friend of ours,
I found out she was going to be there and
that they had set it up together.

Speaker 3 (31:49):
It's been two weeks, You're fine, he said.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
He was going to bowling with his friends, which she's
his friend, right like I think. I think that's fine.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
Yeah, I don't know for in the place to be
jealous just yet.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
No, I think too early.

Speaker 3 (32:03):
We'll find out though there might be more that we
don't know. I was thinking of it for a while,
and the more I thought of it, the more it
bugged me.

Speaker 4 (32:09):
So on our last date, I said I didn't want
to pursue a relationship anymore.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
WHOA.

Speaker 4 (32:13):
He was confused because I had been acting normal up
until this point. He asked me why, and I told him.
I said, I'm sorry, but it makes me uncomfortable how
close you are with Kim. You talk about her a lot,
and she seems to be a big part of your life.
And since we are not official, I would not try
and tell you what to do. I'm just gonna walk
away before it makes me uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
Oh, he's allowed to do whatever she wants, right, If
she doesn't want to have this relationship, that's retally fine. Yeah,
I personally would not do that, But that does not
mean like, like, oh, he can do whatever she wants.

Speaker 3 (32:41):
Oh right, yeah, right, who are we to tell you
what to do?

Speaker 2 (32:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (32:44):
He did not take it well, said I was giving
him an ultimatum and trying to force him to choose,
and then I was being manipulative. I insisted that I
just wasn't okay with it and did not want to
date someone who had that kind of relationship with someone
who wasn't their girlfriend. We were they're not officially boyfriend
and girlfriend, and I felt that I needed to break
things off early before crap hit the fan. Well, I

(33:06):
got an uber home because I didn't want him to
drive me home. He was fuming, And later that evening
I get a text from a number I didn't recognize.

Speaker 3 (33:14):
Can you guess who it is? You guessed it?

Speaker 4 (33:16):
It was kiss Kim texted me a paragraph about how
Beck was crazy about me and she thinks I'm wrong
for judging her when I haven't even met her, and
how I heard him and he was being manipulated.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
Okay, I think that both Beck and op Yeah seem
to forget that they've only been together for two weeks.
I responded, saying that I did not judge her at all,
just that the nature of their relationship did not sit
well with me and I wanted to.

Speaker 4 (33:42):
End things before they got complicated. She responded saying that
I need to give him another chance and that maybe
me and her should meet so that I can see
that she isn't a threat and we could all be friends.
I didn't respond to her, and shortly after his mom
and my mom texted me, telling me I'm overreacting. It's
a massed into a much bigger deal than I thought
it would be. I don't want to be with him

(34:03):
or even try again because of how dramatic I feel
that everyone is being. I've repeatedly been accused of being insecure,
among other things, and I literally cannot believe.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
That it's blown up like this.

Speaker 3 (34:13):
I'm not an insecure person.

Speaker 4 (34:15):
I just got a really bad vibe from the situation
and didn't want to be a part of it.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
Am I wrong for this? Should I give him another chance?
Should I talk to this girl? What do we think?

Speaker 3 (34:22):
There's another update?

Speaker 2 (34:23):
But let's answer this honestly.

Speaker 3 (34:25):
No, Yeah, no, don't give him another chance?

Speaker 2 (34:28):
Right? Like? Do I think that op? Maybe you know,
read into the situation a little bit too much? Yeah? Possibly,
I agree, but also kind of proven right now, like
these people, I don't want to be part of it, right,
Like the bad vibes she got seems to be pretty accurate. Yeah,
So it's like you're good again. You went on a
couple of dates over the course of two weeks. Yeah,

(34:49):
you don't know anyone anything here. Yeah, this is truly
so dramatic. A relationship should not be this dramatic two
weeks in. No, they're not even official, I'm sorry. Within
the course of a month. Yes, you can break up.
You can break it off for literally any reason.

Speaker 3 (35:03):
Now for the update.

Speaker 4 (35:04):
I did not respond to Kim, but instead explained things
to my mom and she sided with me completely. She
told me that Beck had called his mom, who was
a former coach of mine.

Speaker 3 (35:14):
Okay, so they're a little involved somehow, and.

Speaker 4 (35:17):
Told her that I yelled at him and tried to
manipulate him because I was feeling insecure, I was lying, buying.
He said that I broke up with him when he
wouldn't do as I said, and she presumably contacted my
mom afterwards. As you will see from my post, this
was not true. I told my mom this and describe
the situation. She understood how I felt and why I
loved him, and said that he sounded like a prick

(35:39):
and she was happy I didn't bring him to my
brother's party for his wedding. I blocked Kim's number and
did my best to gently explain to his mom what
really happened, understanding the whole time. She'd probably believe her
son over me, but surprisingly she didn't. She did say
that he genuinely cared about me, and evidently I was
a hot topic of conversation for a while before all
of this. She said he was crazy about me and

(36:00):
was excited to see where our relationship would go. While
she admitted her son was immature at times but meant well,
she was very nice about all of this, so I
really appreciated that I was genuine and understanding. I said
that while I understood, I couldn't just ignore the red
flags presented to me since nothing has changed other than
him trying to have other people convince me it's fine.

Speaker 3 (36:18):
Well, then I made the right decision.

Speaker 4 (36:20):
She said she understood, and that was the end of
it with her, at least ominous.

Speaker 3 (36:28):
The worst with Kim did not end leave her alone.

Speaker 4 (36:32):
I know, please stop, You're making it worse by being
so involved, Like, why are you so upset? The worst
with Kim did not end until I almost had to
quit my DoorDash job.

Speaker 3 (36:44):
It's not with door Dash, but for the sake of anonymity.

Speaker 4 (36:47):
I primarily delivered to elderly or families with children. But
as I was unloading girl she's out front of a
house who had only ordered bread, cheese, and bacon.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
I was a little confused, mostly.

Speaker 3 (36:58):
Just horrified when I realized who it was.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
Do you know?

Speaker 4 (37:04):
Was Kim had ordered from my line and gotten me
to deliver to her house. She somehow found out I
was working in her area. I didn't know it was
her area, and I guess she did her best to
get a hold of me. So yeah, I met her,
not by choice, but I did. She ordered from her
mother's name, I'm guessing because it wasn't a Kim who
had ordered it. She immediately began questioning me about if

(37:26):
I was still talking to Beck and if we were
going to get back together, if I had gotten over
myself yet. However, her expression told me she already knew,
but was trying to annoy me in any way possible, just.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
In general being an absolute be.

Speaker 4 (37:39):
I was polite at first until she asked me about
getting over myself, to which I said, off Freddit's advice,
So it really is Yrga's fault. Oh well, I asked
if she had gotten over the fact that her boyfriend
gotten dumb.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
There you go.

Speaker 3 (37:54):
She didn't take that well and didn't take the bag
of bait game.

Speaker 4 (37:56):
I was trying to give her fine by me because
legally customer declines a product, you bring them, you refund
them and keep whatever it is, since you usually can't
turn a food item. So I'm eating some crispy I
mean freedom makeing as I type, look at you, you're
just waiting only up. Honestly, I left and it's been
pretty quiet. I have a new date to my brother's
wedding party thing and he is delightfully just a friend.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
But Beck and Cam don't know that.

Speaker 4 (38:22):
So I'm gonna be posting lots of pictures all night.

Speaker 2 (38:25):
Yes, but also maybe, like maybe we don't need a
You don't need to do that back in camp you again,
two weeks.

Speaker 4 (38:31):
We've both planned on this, by the way, and he
knows everything, so it's even a funnier in that way.

Speaker 3 (38:36):
But you can plan on joining us live on YouTube
every week day three pm PST. Just top our profile.
You have always be there.

Speaker 2 (38:43):
You're always there, truly. I think you need to block them.

Speaker 3 (38:47):
You get two weeks, you need to block them.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
This is stop talking to them. They're weird.

Speaker 4 (38:54):
So insane. Yeah, this is so insane. Beck has been
stalking my social media. There you go, more stocking unlike
and then liking posts.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
He even so so high school. It's like he's trying
to get you to notice that he's looking. Yeah, exactly.
It's like, oh god, he should do the mature thing
and post Instagram stories so and then see if they've
watched They watch it, Yes, mature. Yes, it's like everyone else,

(39:23):
everyone else.

Speaker 3 (39:25):
Stories just for a certain person.

Speaker 2 (39:26):
Yes, and you just wait and your scroll. Yes are
we are we speaking off of experience now.

Speaker 4 (39:33):
He even reported a picture of mine that had me
and another mail in it. He'll probably be like this
for a little while longer and then drop everything. But
it's kind of funny to watch. Honestly, you actually dodged
a bullet massively, really did. I'm moving on and overall
am single and happy. Thanks for the advice, read it.
I appreciate you guys. That is the end of the story.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
Man. Actually, you know, I just kind of take the bag.
You didn't really dodge the bullet, You kind of The
bullet is a bludger and it's chasing me. Around. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (40:04):
Yeah, you're just like you're wearing the right protection and
running away in yes right ways. Yeah, but that is honestly,
that is honestly really funny to watch though she's so
obsessed with me.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
After two weeks, it is so sad.

Speaker 4 (40:17):
Yeah, it's kind of like a little okay, but also like, no,
I have to actually deal with it, So you're good.

Speaker 2 (40:23):
My girlfriend said no to my proposal, but she still
wants to work on a relationship.

Speaker 3 (40:28):
Just give her some time for a second.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
I have decided to come on here to see if
I can find positivity as I'm really struggling to come
to terms with this. We've been with each other for
six years. Wow. She's happy with me, but not so
happy with some aspects to the relationship, but she doesn't
exactly know what's missing. By the way, this comes from
duco Zuzu ten on the Okay Storytime separatedit, so we've
been speaking quite a lot about it, and she's been

(40:52):
quite reassuring. To be fair to her, she feels I
didn't consider her feelings as we've not really touched on
the marriage subject. She doesn't really feel ready for marriage
right now and doesn't know if she ever wants marriage.
I do need to dig in more, but knowing her,
it is scary. People worry about divorce, et cetera. She
wants to make a decision when she's one hundred percent certain.
She also feels I don't feel ready for marriage. I
see the engagement more as a pre commitment, but she

(41:14):
sees the two as one, so adds a lot of pressure.
Although financially I'm pretty good, she feels a lot of
pressure because financially she isn't ready either. She started her
own business, but it's been going slow for her. We've
been renting for about a year and a half and
aren't ready to buy a house financially. We've had a
challenging year and she feels we've lost some of her intimacy.
I've had to go through reapplying for a job. We've

(41:35):
made the decision to terminate a pregnancy. Please don't give
your moral view on it. We feel terrible as it is.
She's struggling a bit financially. I've got some minor health
scares well. I need to really start looking after myself.
Around last April, we had a difficult talk where she
said she's not sure if we're spicy sleep compatible and
now she was worried we aren't. We had a very
deep discussion and I took it well and we showed

(41:56):
strength to strive through the reason this conversation came up
was because I felt she had lost her affection to
me a bit. In the discussion, I had to explain
myself because I suffer with prostatitis premature E, which has
made me feel very reluctant to have spicy sleep due
to the pure embarrassment. She never judged me on that
and has been really supportive to tell the truth, but

(42:17):
it's been very difficult for me. I have resorted to
taking certain pills, but even throughout a relationship before moving in,
we've mainly had spicy sleep after drinking, whether it's a
little or a lot, as it gives me more confidence.
Moving forward to June, she ended up getting pregnant. We
made the decision to not have a baby, which was
really challenging and heartbreaking for us, although she still holds

(42:38):
it against me a bit. When she first told me
how my reaction said it all. When she first told me,
I explained to her that I was also very much
in shock, but because she's been adamant and scared about
the situation and saying she isn't ready. I couldn't then
convince her to keep a baby she doesn't feel ready
for when I can see that, of course we want
a baby, but the timing wasn't right, and I didn't
want to push her into a decision. The termination had

(42:59):
been tough, both mentally and physically with her from end
of let's say July all the way up until mid September.
Mentally she was better, but physically struggling with bleeding for
months and has only just come out of it now.
The timing of my decision to propose, in hindsight, was
awful and not thought full of her and mine and
her opinion. We have been getting better and closer and

(43:20):
I wanted something positive to look forward towards the end
of the year. She feels this isn't something we need
to look forward to. I feel really stupid that I
went with this without really thinking properly about it. Maybe
it was pressure from people I don't know. We've always
said we don't need marriage to prove her love. It's
all just a bit of paper, and I now truly
feel I have fallen into the pressure from other people,
given the constant questions, I've always told people we're in

(43:43):
no rush. So I don't know why I've gone through
with this and there is more, but just pausing really quick,
I think that they just need to have the talk more.
They just need to talk more. Yeah, because it seems like, oh,
p I would say, oh, he probably did brush into it.
I think that I think both parties should kind of
know or kind of be expecting a proposal. I think
it shouldn't be a complete surprise. I think there should

(44:04):
be a lot of conversations that go into it in
the lead up. Like I think the actual day and
how it happens should be the surprise, right that it's
coming shouldn't be a complete Yeah. I've heard like a
lot of people before they get proposed to be like.

Speaker 5 (44:16):
Yeah, so one of them is like when you're gonna propose,
like or they go ring shopping or something like just
so you know, because I mean, yes, you want the
proposal to be a surprise, but they don't want the
fact that they are proposing at all.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
Yeah, to be a surprise. Yeah, it should be something
you're kind of expecting. Yeah, And so it seems like
Opete does recognize that, and it's like, oh, you know,
like I did make a mistake. I just went through
a hard year. That doesn't necessarily mean that your relationship
is over. I think it's just like you need to
start having a lot of those hard conversations and figure
out do you maybe you do want to get married.
Maybe that is something that you know that is important

(44:51):
to you, And that's totally fine. Yeah, because I also
feel like too, if your finances also aren't in order
or like where you want them to be for a marriage,
Like I feel like, you know, people don't usually like
long engagements, you know, so it's like if you're engaged,
then like a wedding is probably on its way in
like a year or something, and that's another expense. Yeah,
and you start planning now, you like you're supposed to

(45:11):
generally people get like their wedding dress like at least
six months before the wedding. Yeah, And so it's like.

Speaker 4 (45:16):
That's such a big commitment, not even just like relationship wise,
but just like for planning a wedding. That's so much
to do and to pay for, so like it makes
sense that the timing is just wrong.

Speaker 2 (45:27):
Yeah, and you lost to like you had to, you know,
give up a baby. Right, it's a big deal. Lots
of stuff come right now. Just I think I think
it's just a conversation you need to have with your
girlfriend and get on the same page exactly. Since the rejection,
I've explained how I feel heartbroken, vulnerable, rejected, unwanted, unloved.
She's been reassuring me after questions I've asked, and her

(45:47):
answers are she still loves me. She's still been insisting
she wants to try and work past this. She wants
us to work towards something. She still wants a future.
It's just the whole something is missing and she doesn't
know what it is. Is making me over think and
it's terrible. She's saying, it's not necessarily spicy sleep and
me not lasting long enough, but just general intimacy. We
don't know whether it's been since moving in together and

(46:08):
fallen into the routine, routine trap at home with work
life too. She's saying, we probably lost a bit of
a fun together physically or mentally. We've fallen into habits
on watching TV series, et cetera, a lot, being on
our phones, a lot, like in bed, for example, after
speaking about it. I do feel that technology has gotten
in our way personally. I hate it when we're both
on our phone in bed. Even though I've addressed it,

(46:30):
I haven't led By example, we used to always kiss
each other good night in bed, but we stopped doing
that quite early after moving in, whereas before when at
each other's parents, we always kiss good night. So moving forward,
we have some solutions which may help our relationship get
better and build on the intimacy. See, this is the solution.
It's just talking it out.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
I totally feel for ope, hearing from a partner something's missing,
but I don't know what it is that is that
would make me insecure, be like, yeah, am I what
am I doing wrong? Right? That'd be correctly. So that's
also something that on her end, she needs to figure
that out and stop saying, oh, something's missing. But I
don't know, Like, that's totally not fair to you either.

Speaker 3 (47:08):
Just need a little more time.

Speaker 4 (47:10):
Yeah, I think she can figure out the specifics and
keep that to herself.

Speaker 2 (47:13):
That's the thing. I don't think that you could say
something's missing but I don't know what it is. I
think you have to figure that out, and that's just
a stress, yeah, like say something else. It could be like,
you know, I'm still figuring some stuff out about my
right what I want to, you know, moving forward for
a future. I've been reading a lot online and on
here too, where you read about stories when the wife
first rejects proposals and then they live happily ever after.

(47:33):
But I can't help overthink the situation, and this is
what I'm finding very challenging. I accept her decision, it's
just I need to find positivity. One minute I'm positive,
next I'm negative. And this obviously hurts her too. And
she's been a lot closer with me the past few days,
showing the affection I guess I had been wanting. This
isn't going to help her in the long run, really,
if I'm going to keep acting like this, So I

(47:54):
really need to fix up and wake up. But it's
only been a few days. I guess I've come here
for advice and positive. I know I'll get some negative
comments like she's just waiting until she finds someone better,
et cetera. But if there's anyone with real advice and
have been in this situation, I would be really grateful.
She doesn't believe we need any counseling because we need
to communicate work through this together, which I do agree.

(48:14):
But input is also really good. We're going to try
other things to bring the intimacy bond back. I do
think that's counseling. I mean, you've been together for six years.
I think that counseling could be helpful. Yeah, I don't think.
I think some people are insecure, which is like fine, Yeah,
that like it's it's like a sign of things going
wrong or something like that.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
But it's like nice, it's just counseling.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
Just counseling, you know everything. That's totally totally bad. She
also actually said maybe this is what we needed, and
it could hypothetically be true. I totally understand her point, though,
if we go into marriage without solving our issue, this
could be more damaging. She wants us to solve our
issues before making such a big decision, which I think
is good. Again, my negativity kicks in and she thinks
maybe because she feels terrible, she wants to give me

(48:55):
false hope. I am an overthinker, so this doesn't help
me at all, but you know it does help. Joining
us live every week to have three pmpst on YouTube.
Just tap her profile and there is a little bit
left to the story. But do you have any final thoughts.

Speaker 4 (49:07):
One thing I heard some advice that I've heard someone
say one time, is like, just for anyone in a relationship,
it's like, wait as long as possible, yeah, to get married.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
You know, there's no rush.

Speaker 4 (49:18):
Yeah, Like I feel like like there's a lot of
expectations around marriage just in general and people's cultures and whatever,
and then like with your age and stuff, and so
I think people do feel like they need to rush
it a lot, and then they do and then it's
like wait, but like I don't really know, and then
people will get cold feet or something like that. Yeah,
but if you're both like it makes sense to feel like,
if you're both.

Speaker 2 (49:38):
In a space where it's like I cannot wait to
be married to you, then like then that seems great. Yeah.
I think it should be something like you are like
one hundred percent certain not yeah, exactly, yeah, and you
know that the other person is to yes, you got it,
and you've had those conversations you're both like, yeah, this
is what we want right right. I want a future
with you right forever. I've also canceled my plans with

(49:59):
my friends this Saturday, not overly bothered, so we can
do something together what she would like. I think she
appreciated this, but given the circumstances, I want to put
her first. I suppose this stuff happens with a lot
of couples in long term relationships, and maybe this is
what we needed to strengthen us. I hope. I feel
she's been totally honest with me, and I've been telling
her to only be honest with me about the situation.

(50:20):
Thank you for your time. Well, and that's the end
of that story. That's the end, man. I think I
think they're gonna be okay. My partner and I just
got engaged, but he won't stop lying to me.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
You're done, is done.

Speaker 3 (50:33):
I am delighted to share that I recently got engage.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
My partner and I began dating when we were both
seventeen years old, and from the very beginning, we felt
a strong.

Speaker 4 (50:42):
Connection and knew that we were meant to be together.
We have had numerous conversations about marriage over the years,
and we mutually decided to start planning for our future
together when we both reached the age of twenty five.
By the way, this comes from Ackermru on the our
slash Okay storytime subreddit. So everything was going wonderfully until
he recently completed his studies.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
I'm aware that some people may.

Speaker 4 (51:04):
Advise us to take things slowly due to our age,
but we are both resolute in our decision and.

Speaker 3 (51:09):
Committed to building a life together. So here's a little
background story.

Speaker 4 (51:12):
I have been working full time for seven months while
also studying for a part time degree. In the meantime,
my partner recently graduated and is looking for a job. However,
it is challenging for him as a fresh graduate, and
he is unsure of his next steps. As a result,
we are both feeling stressed and anxious about our financial situation.
Our elders have always told us that the test of
engagement is significant and if we remain strong, we will

(51:35):
overcome it. Whenever we hear this phrase, we know we
can persevere because we have weathered storms and.

Speaker 3 (51:40):
Hurricanes to reach where we are today.

Speaker 4 (51:43):
We thought those challenges were difficult, but they pale in
comparison to our current situation. To make matters worse, my
partner has been working as a hitch driver, which is
illegal in our country.

Speaker 2 (51:54):
Oh, what is a hitch. I don't know. But also
maybe you shouldn't tell on him. Yeah, right, telling the
internet right now. Hitch is long distance ride share professional
driver who connects with riders heading to the same destiny
as like a hitchhike. Oh okay.

Speaker 4 (52:07):
He has a license to drive, but not to pick
up and drop off passengers. If he is caught, he
could lose his license, face fines, or even be jailed.

Speaker 2 (52:17):
Really hears as to where this is. Yeah, I didn't realize.
I didn't know hitchhiking was illegal. Yeah, I mean, I
don't think it is here. Maybe it's like if you
charge them without like a Maybe, I don't know, that's
some sort of license. Interesting.

Speaker 4 (52:29):
I have repeatedly advised him not to take risks and
to find a part time job until he finds a
full time job that he enjoys. However, his reasoning often
outweighs my concerns, so we reached a compromise. He agreed
to keep his location on so that I can ensure
his safety, and in return, he is allowed to continue
hitching as he has done for many years. I trust
him to be cautious and avoid any unwanted legal situations.

(52:52):
The issue now is that he feels uncomfortable having his
location share, as if he's being constantly monitored. I've tried
to reassure him that this is solely from my peace
of mind. I experience anxiety and fear when he is
out there, especially since he is engaged in an illegal
activity and driving at nights, driving strangers.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
Yeah, that's dangerous.

Speaker 4 (53:11):
Yeah, I am not afraid of him, but rather for him,
as reckless drivers pose a significant risk, particularly during nighttime hours.
My worries prevent me from sleeping soundly until I know
his whereabouts and that he is safe. Therefore, he eventually
agreed to our arrangement. It was going well for a
while until that one night. I was texting him, but
he was not replying. I know that he usually replies

(53:34):
after two or three texts, but this time he was
quiet and unresponsive. I started texting him after I finished
work at ten pm, and until three am there was
no news from him. When I looked at his location,
it was at a place where he was not moving.
Usually the locations shared are accurate, but this time I
was not so sure. My mind was racing and my
heart was palpitating so fast that I felt.

Speaker 3 (53:55):
It in my throat.

Speaker 2 (53:56):
All sorts of scary scenarios ran through my head. Quickly
rented a car and went out to find him using
his last known location. Finally, he texted me back saying
that he was fine. I was angry and upset because
I was so scared for him. I did not know
what I would have done if he had not been
safe and sound. I had thought that perhaps now he
is aware that I am out here looking for him,

(54:17):
he would find me to calm me down. However, instead
he drove back home, leaving me alone in the eerie night.
When he arrived home, he told me to return home
and rest, since I am now aware that he is safe.
I was taken aback. Yess.

Speaker 4 (54:31):
I understand that I went out of my way to
find him even though he was actually safe. But couldn't
he spare a little time to ensure that I am
safe as well? Isn't that common currency? I find it
difficult to articulate, but it deeply upsets me that he
did not show the same level of care towards me
as I did towards him. When I returned, I expressed
to him that his behavior was unacceptable and that I

(54:52):
was deeply hurt. His reasoning was that he was tired
and could not keep his eyes open any longer. I
felt torn, but I'm unsure how to pres I questioned
the validity of my feelings, but nevertheless I communicated to
him that I am unhappy. He apologized and mentioned that
we would talk further on my day off. My day
off happened to be on a Saturday, and I had
classes that day. We had made plans to meet afterwards,

(55:15):
but he informed me that he was feeling unwell, so sorry. Naturally,
I did not want to compel a sick person to
meet me, especially since we needed to discuss some important
matters from the past few days. Despite my feelings of frustration,
I offered to buy him some food to help him
feel better.

Speaker 3 (55:33):
Considering that he is still my fiance. However, he declined
my offer.

Speaker 4 (55:36):
Although I was hurt, I respected his decision. My next
day off was on a Tuesday, and I had planned
to meet him again. However, he did not respond to
my messages, even though I sent several texts in a row.
I initially assumed that he was sleeping, but when I
checked his location, I noticed that it had.

Speaker 2 (55:52):
Been turned off. Ahfuly suspicious.

Speaker 4 (55:56):
This raised concerns and made me feel anxious about what
my be happening. I decided to reach out to his
sister to inquire if he was at home, but she
informed me that he was not. I then contacted his mother,
who mentioned that he had gone out in the morning
and she had assumed he was with me. The news
left me feeling confused and upset. If he was going out,

(56:17):
why didn't he inform me. I sent him another message
asking why he was ignoring me and what the matter was.
He responded by saying that he had just woken up
and was planning to clean the house. I suggested that
he send me a short video message to show me
that he was.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
Indeed at home and cleaning. This is getting a little
bit yeah, maybe like maybe he is lying, but I
think op's maybe also overreaching at times too. I think,
so I see like it's getting a little bit you
scared that that he's like in an unsafe situation. Then
like I could see that, like send me a video,
see that you're okay, because I don't trust it, you

(56:51):
know what I mean. But it's a very likely thing
that's happening is that he's cheating and in that case,
it's not okay to ask for like a video proof.
I don't know, it just leans into like lack of trust,
and that's that's something that like you need to have
a conversation with, right, rather than feeding into this, you know,
fear of being cheated on by like demanding that they

(57:12):
start recording where they're going and making them show you
their phone. It's like it just feeds into it. Yeah,
Like just because like even if you don't trust them,
like you can't ask to do that.

Speaker 3 (57:24):
Yeah, that's still you could just kind of at that point.

Speaker 2 (57:26):
You got to deal with it on you. Yeah, it's
like either you need to have a conversation where you
explain your insecurities and why you're feeling that way and
you talk about what can be done, or you break
up those like the two opshows. Yeah, he made me
feel uneasy for asking, and he openly admitted that he
needed some time alone, so he went out to get
breakfast and decided to take a stroll. He explained that

(57:48):
he didn't want to let me.

Speaker 4 (57:49):
Know because he thought I would want to join. This
hurt me deeply because I wish he had just been
honest about not wanting me to come along rather than
hiding it. I was already feeling frustrated from the previous
and these small untruths made me break down and express
my feelings to him. I would have understood his need
for some time alone. I just couldn't understand the need
to be untruthful.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
After all, I am his.

Speaker 3 (58:11):
Fiance and I would have respected his space if he
had asked.

Speaker 2 (58:14):
It also felt a bit unfair for him to choose
my day off for this, and I was looking forward
to talking and working through things together.

Speaker 3 (58:21):
But something that you can look forward to is.

Speaker 4 (58:23):
Joining us live on YouTube every weekday at three pm PSD.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
Just top our profile. Habit ta happen. But I think
Ope is right for being upset, like because they had
established that, you know, they would talk about this on Saturday.
But I do think that like, on the other hand,
seems like there's a little bit of like anxious attachment
going on here. Yeah. I'm not a fan of having locations.
It feels a little ichy to me. I personally want

(58:49):
everyone's locations. I am the opposite, not because I wanted,
like I feel the need to know where my part
like my partner is or something I just liked to
little really have everyone. I knows that's just a me thing.
But also I don't think I wouldn't say that I'm
a jealous or you know, or at least in the

(59:10):
one relationship i've had it. Yeah, yeah, right, but yeah,
so I do like having everyone's location services.

Speaker 4 (59:18):
I think, I think it can be fun sometimes, but
it's also like, I don't know situations like this.

Speaker 2 (59:22):
I get that it depends on why you're asking it
for it for sure, because I think there are some
cases where couples get into this kind of unhealthy where
they're like, I want to know because I need to
know where you're at at all times. Whereas for me,
it's just like.

Speaker 4 (59:35):
I've collected enough, but there is more to the story,
so let's see what's happening. Honestly, this isn't the first
time something like this has happened. He has been untruthful
and has made me feel low for a while now,
and I'm beginning to realize that I deserve a relationship
with honesty and respect. Right now, I'm unsure of how
to proceed, especially since I don't fully understand its perspective

(59:59):
or reasons for acting this way. However, I feel that
being dishonest is not justifiable. I'm working on emotionally distingc
myself so that if it eventually comes to a breakup,
I'll know that I did my best and perhaps it
is for the best. I'm just trying to stay calm
and compose. But I could use some advice on how
to handle the situation.

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
And that is all she wrote. I think, yeah, I
think it's a little bit. There's a little bit going
on on both sides. I think they've been in this
relationship since they were seventeen, yeah, and probably are a
little bit codependent. So sometimes you just like realize, you know,
this is not your life partner, and that's okay.

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
I totally agree with that. That is the end of
the episode, So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
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