My wife called out my sister’s TOXIC boyfriend… now the family is falling apart! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2072 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:06):
Have some good story's coming up for you.

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Speaker 2 (00:16):
My wife called out my sister's toxic boyfriend. Now the
family is falling apart. Ah, this is a throwaway account
as I have work colleagues on my main that I
don't want to know about my family drama, and spelling
will be rubbish as I'm fuming right now. Obligatory. All
names have been changed, so for the Backstorre, I thirty

(00:37):
six female and married to the love of my life
thirty six female. Okay. We met when we were seventeen.
She was out and proud whilst I was still in
the closet, so we didn't start dating until I came
out at twenty one. We got married in twenty nineteen
and have an adopted four year old son. This is
relevant in a minute. By the way, this comes from
throwaway annoying a brother in law on the Okay Storytime
separate it. So my sister's twenty seven female Sarah has

(00:59):
a law long term boyfriend twenty eight male Steve, who
the family cannot stand. They've been together for eight years
and the whole family has hated him from the first
time we met him. He is rude, obnoxious, arrogant, and
all in all a crappy human being. He is also
someone that likes to claim that he's just being honest,
but if someone is on his back to him, he

(01:19):
flips out and sulks like a toddler. In fact, my
toddler is better behaved than him. He isn't abusive to
Sarah and doesn't direct these comments towards her, it's just
the rest of us. He's actually a good partner to
her and treats her well, which is his one redeeming quality.
My Dad and Kay hate him the most and will
do anything to avoid him. At family gatherings. Kay usually
just ignores him and brushes off anything he says to

(01:42):
her as she doesn't like conflict. However, there have been
a few occasions that she has said something back, but
it's usually said in a joking manner, which amuses my
dad to no end. My mom is a peacekeeper and
will do anything to avoid drama, so she just changes
the topic whenever he starts, but She and my grandparents
all hate him just as much as the rest of us.
Sarah is the only one that obviously doesn't hate him.

(02:04):
Our son's birth mother, Tests was Kay's best friend who
sadly passed away in twenty twenty one. Oh This was
a real shock, as she had an underlying heart condition
that she didn't know about and simply went to sleep
one night and never woke up. Jack had been left
alone and is caught all days screaming for his mom
before Kay got worried that Tess wasn't answering her texts

(02:25):
and went to their house to see if she was okay.
That is awful. She found Jack and is caught and
Tests in her bed. Wow, we adopted Jack as no
one in Tessa's family was in a position to take
him in. We raise him as our own, but he
knows who Tess is. Obviously, this is a very sensitive
topic for Kay as it was so traumatic for her
and Jack. Now onto what happened last weekend. It was

(02:47):
the anniversary of Tessa's passing away on Saturday, so Kay,
Jack and I went to visit her grave. Kay is
always quiet after going to see her, and this time
of year is especially hard for her. On Sunday, we
had a family gathering at my parents. These happened every
couple of months as just to catch up for everyone.
At first, nothing was out of the ordinary. Kay and
my dad were off to the side talking as usual.

(03:08):
Only I could see that Kay was obviously struggling, so
my dad and her went for a walk so she
could clear her head. This is something they have done before,
so nothing too unusual. However, Steve had an issue with
this and asked why they had left and why he
wasn't invited to walk with them. Because you're not. Because
you're freaking not. That's all there is to it. I

(03:28):
explained about Tess and Kay just needed a minute. This
wasn't good enough for Steve, though, and he said she
should have gotten over it by now.

Speaker 4 (03:35):
Oh man, it's always the wrong thing to say.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
At this, my granddad, who is naturally a very quiet guy,
said that his best friend had passed over twenty years
ago and he still had days where he missed him
so much it hurt. Oh, you don't just get over
something like that. Steve shut up After that, good, Kay
and my dad got back and she was in a
much better mood. We all sat down at the table
for our late lunch and started chatting. Everything was fine

(04:00):
at first until Steve started trying to butt into Kay's
conversation with my granddad. When it was obvious that they
weren't going to include him, he very loudly stated, this
is ps. She's getting all the tension from everyone because
her friend passed threefing years ago. Get over it, for
f's sake, we're all sick of hearing about it. Oh
my god, I'm plungching it. I'm throwing hands. This is

(04:23):
You're a terrible person. Yes, Steve, you are satan spawn.
The whole table went silent, and I took one look
at Kay and knew she was about to go off
on Steve. Only it didn't happen the way I thought.
Rather than exploding at him, she looked at him very
calmly and said that her and granddad weren't talking about tests.
They were making plans to take him to the Christmas markets,

(04:45):
but if he wanted to be a wiener, then no problem.
She then went on to Satan that everyone in the
family hates him because he's a toxic, narcissistic f wad
that whenever he can't come to a family gathering, the
whole family is much happier. That there is a reason
he has no friends and that his own family can't
to be around him. That reason is that he's rotten
from the inside out. And that test may have only
been on the planet for thirty two years, but she

(05:06):
had made a bigger impact on people than he would
if he lived until he was one hundred and fifty,
But that our family was rammed with people because she
was so loved, Whereas he'd be lucky if anyone other
than Sarah went to his.

Speaker 5 (05:21):
Just whoa justbliterated him? Yeah, that was and she said
all that calmly. Yeah, she freaking nailed that. What a response,
What a response?

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Amazing? No, No, she's my hero, she's my hero. Oh no,
she's both of our heroes. Yeah that was incredible. Wow,
Wow wow wowow.

Speaker 4 (05:42):
Stellar performance, incredible, incredible. So did they does she actually
say that to him or does that just what they
were thinking? She said that amazing, amazing.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
After that, she got up and went to the back garden,
and I followed her. A few minutes later, my dad
came out and said that he told Sarah and Steve
to leave. He went back inside and Kay apologized to
everyone and said she should have just kept her mouth shut.
No girl, nah, no, he needed to hear it. Everyone
other than my mom told her what she had done
was right and it was about time someone told him.

(06:12):
My dad then found it hilarious that a lesbian had
been the one to tell him straight, which light in
the bood a lot, that's funny. We spent the rest
of the afternoon there before going to pick up Jack
from Kay's mom's house, as she had had him overnight
on Saturday for us. The reason I'm making this post
is that yesterday I got a call from Sarah saying
that her and Steve wanted an apology from Kay or

(06:35):
they weren't going to Christmas. Oh no, oh no, they're
not going to Christmas. What are we gonna do?

Speaker 4 (06:43):
Yeah, It's like, well, then I'm not gonna apologize because
I don't want to apologize.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
There you go. When I reminded her that we wouldn't
be at Christmas either, as it is our year to
spend it with Kay's mom, so it made no difference
to us, she got really upset, saying that she wanted
an apology because he was way out of line. I
said she wasn't and that I wouldn't even contemplate asking
her to apologize because I agreed with everything she said
and so did everyone else there. She ended the call
and I just went back to work. Then today my

(07:11):
dad called me and asked if Kay's mom would mind
a few more for Christmas, as he was refusing to
spend it with Steve, so he and my granddad needed
somewhere else to go. Apparently, after Sarah had called me,
she called mom and started ranting, and my mom had
told my dad to get Kay to apologize, but she
said no to and they had an argument, and my
dad has now decided that he's done with Steve, even

(07:32):
if it affects his relationship with Sarah. He's not having
it anymore. My mom wants Sarah there and she won't
go without Steve, so my dad is going somewhere else,
and my granddad agreed with him. I text Kay's mom
and she said they were welcome. So now my mom
is furious and said that my dad and Kay are
ripping the family aparts, or maybe Steve just freaking sucks.

Speaker 4 (07:53):
Yeah, it's okay though that, like you know, this.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
Part of the family gets ripped out of it. Yeah,
are we really losing anyway? Nah? Exactly. So basically this
is turned into a crap show. Kay has said she
will apologize if I want to, just to keep the peace,
but I've told her no way. Everything she said was true.
I just don't know where to go from here. And
the people in my life all hate Steve that much
that Kay could have physically attacked him and they would

(08:19):
all still think she's in the right. So that's why
I'm asking Internet strangers who might have had to deal
with difficult family members, what can we do to get
into a place where we can be around each other
and the complete I'm struggling to see away right now. Wow,
didn't realize how long this got until I went to
post it. Sorry about that, And there are some comments
and an update. But what do you think, op he

(08:40):
can do?

Speaker 4 (08:41):
Just remind me is this like, is there any other
issues with Like is the other.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
Family saying anything about like the mom is mom, Sarah
and Steve and that's it. Everyone else is on a
peace side. I feel like, you know, they'll survive.

Speaker 4 (08:58):
Yeah, they'll survive because he did say very out of
pocket things about grieving, you know, and so I feel
like no one else likes him exactly.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Honestly, I think it might sort itself out because if
everyone else in the family beside your mom is against them,
then you guys just keep having Christmas parties and then
eventually Steve and Sarah you'd be like, well, we're not
it's not fair that we're.

Speaker 4 (09:21):
Not invited, right, and then they just want to come anyway.
And honestly, to like, I wonder if the mom, like
partially is just trying to keep the peace, and that's
what I'm thinking, Yeah, just trying to keep the peace.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
It's like she probably does agree with we want everyone together. Yeah,
so it's like it. I think it will work that
you're right standard ground, and then everything will happened the
way people who are wrong will, you know, just get
what they get and get glad that everyone else agrees
with you, so you're good. Some of Opie's comments, one

(09:56):
commenter says for things to be peaceful, both parties need
to want Kay did nothing wrong. I wouldn't ever spend
another moment with Steve. I would let Sarah know I
love her and we'll see her anytime anywhere, but I'll
never see Steve again. If you have one guest that
basically wants to crap on the holiday table. There is
no path forward with them. Opie responds. If it was
just Sarah upset, then I wouldn't care. But it's my mom.

(10:18):
She tries so hard to keep the whole family together
and she's devastated by what's going on. If it wasn't
for her, then Sarah could take a running jump for
all I care right now, and then Sarah, this is
the issue that Steve and Sarah don't see anything wrong
in what he's done. It was just him being honest.
I would be happier for her to apologize if Steve
and Sarah admitted that what he said was in the
wrong as well. Without that, I'm being stubborn about it,

(10:41):
as you should. Yeah, my dad told Kay he will
fall out with her if she apologizes, as she did
nothing wrong. Good on the Dad. There was no screaming
or shouting. She said it very calmly. I feel like
I'm stuck between making my mom happy and doing what
I believe to be right. You should always be doing
what you believe to be right exactly, and things will
be you know, things will happen the way're supposed to
other commentery, Opie says, my sister doesn't see anything wrong

(11:03):
in what he says, as he's just being honest, but
loses it when someone is honest back. I don't understand
her anymore, Opie says about her mom, take the high
road and rise above it has been two of my
mom's favorite things to say over the years. I just
feel like enough is enough. He crossed a line this
time that he can't come back from. I especially don't
want my son around him when he's saying things like

(11:23):
that about tests. Absolutely yeah, absolutely yeah. To another commenter,
Obi says, if I hear my mom say take the
high road one more time, I'm going to scream. I'm
sick of the high road. I've been on it for
hot eight years. I'm happy on the low road now.
And then later that day, Opie says, well, I've just
found out that my Granny and Pau, my mom's parents,

(11:43):
are going to my uncle's for Christmas, and Steve's not invited,
So it looks like it's just going to be my Mom, Sarah,
and Steve for Christmas this year. How op he feels
about that vindicated, as my mom is like her parents,
they're all peacekeepers, and if ever they have had enough,
then it shows that he's not just stepped over the line,
he ran right past it. And then he continues. Kay's
mom has already told her that if she changes her mind.

(12:06):
If the mom changes her mind, then she is welcome
at her house, even if it's Christmas morning. She's more
than welcome. Obviously, Steve and Sarah aren't invited at all,
but it's good that my mom has an option at
the least. Later reflection, Opie says, I have realized that
he's been trying to target Ka and my dad's relationship,
as they're very close. I think that's. Yeah, that was
pretty apparent because he was like, oh, I can't go

(12:26):
on the walk. He's trying to like infiltrate it and
get what Ka has. But you have to be cool
and a good person, yeah, and it seems like you're neither.
The people have to like wike you around. Yeah. To
have a relationship with a person's father, you gotta they
have to like you a little bit, just a little
at least. They have traveled all over the country visiting

(12:47):
class car shows together, which Steve has tried to get
in on, but he doesn't know anything about cars, so
there's no point in him going even if they did
like him. I actually think he's been trying to push
K and I out of the family so that he
gets my dad to himself, even though my dad can't stantem.
Update eight days later, Hi, I know how much this
community loves an update, so I thought I would give

(13:07):
you one. As things seemed to be sorting themselves out
after I wrote my last post, A few things happened
in the next couple of hours. First thing was that
I spoke to my grandparents on my mom's side. They
were there when this all happened, but they're like my
mom and just constantly try to keep the peace. That's
where she gets it from. They were supposed to be
spending Christmas with my mom this year, but had changed
their minds and decided to spend it with my uncle instead.

(13:30):
They have made the decision to not be around Steve either,
as he causes too much drama. They asked if they
could come and see us and Jack on the twenty
third before they head off to my uncle's, which I
happily agreed. Lovely. This really surprised me, and it outright
shocked my mom. As like I said, they are the
biggest take the high road type people I've ever met.
But even they'd had enough. The next thing that happened

(13:50):
was my dad called to let me know that Steve
and Sarah had now decided that they wanted Kay to
make a public apology in front of the whole family
and admit she was lying, and that the family loves you.
What she can't what?

Speaker 5 (14:07):
No like?

Speaker 2 (14:09):
You have no leverage is the thing? Yeah, you've got
no leverage, right, No one likes you. He was laughing
as he told me this and called them delusional, so
any small chance of a superficial apology went out the window.
The third thing that happened was jacketting home from after
school club with the recorder that I am sorely tempted
to shove up the teacher's backside. So all in all,

(14:31):
it wasn't a great day. I remember the recorder part
of my elementary school career. Oh yeah, my mom hated
that thing. I don't think any kands slid it like
to Yeah, a bunch of kids not playing the recorder
who don't know how to play the recorder right right?

Speaker 3 (14:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (14:48):
No, I.

Speaker 4 (14:50):
Live like right across the street from an elementary school,
and like you know the school I went to, and
like everyone in my neighborhood was like kids around the
same age, and so like every year it'd be like, oh,
persons to the recorders to play record.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
It's just like that. So it was like speaking exactly exactly. Yeah. Though,
through talking to people on here, I also realized that
Steve has been trying to push Ky and I out
of the family, organizing trips that he knows we wouldn't
have gone on them anyway, as a week and away
with him sounds worse than a paper cut to the eyeball,

(15:23):
and him constantly trying to get my dad away from
k whenever we were all together. I think this is
because he is jealous of Kay and my dad's relationship. Anyway,
things went quiet for a few days until the weekend.
Our town has a big Christmas fare that runs from
November through December, and we always go to it with mom, dad, granddad,
and Ka's mom. We decided to cheer my mom up
a bit to go on Sunday and then out for

(15:45):
a dinner. After my mom was told that if Sarah
or Steve showed up then we would all leave and
she promised they wouldn't be there. Things were a bit
awkward at first, but settled after a while. At one point,
Jack got my mom and dad to take him on
the giant snowslide, and as my mom walked back over
to us, she had tears in her eyes. I pulled
her to one side to see what was going on,

(16:05):
and she said that whilst waiting in line, Jacket said
he was happy Uncle Steve wasn't here. When my mom
asked why, he said that Uncle Steve was a bad man.
My mom tried to say that he wasn't, but in
typical stubborn four year old fashion, he had argued and
said he learnt in school that people who say mean
things all the time are bad people, and Uncle Steve
said mean things all the time, so he was a
bad man, and that he didn't like him based base.

(16:29):
How are you gonna argue with that, dang mom. Yeah,
there had been a case of bullying in his class
a few weeks ago, and the teacher had done a
lesson on how wrong bullying is, so I think that's
where this came from. This finally broke through to my mom.
If even a four year old can see what a
horrible prick the man is. Then she had two as well.
She said that she felt stuck because she hated Steve.

(16:51):
She's like, I didn't know to tell you I hate
I hate him so much, but I was trying to
keep the peace and agreed with everything that came. She
had said, but she loves Sarah and doesn't want to isolator.
I told her I would always be there for her,
but I wasn't putting myself, Jack or Kay through being
around Steve again, and she needed to think about what
she wants, not what I want or Dad or Kay

(17:14):
or Jack or her parents or Sarah or Steve, but
what she wants. She went quiet and then said that
Kay's mom had told her she was welcome at hers
for Christmas if she wanted to, and that she could
decide on Christmas Day if she wanted. Kay's mom would
save her a plate. This is lovely. Yeah, this is
going well. And we went back to the group, and
a little while later I saw Mom and Kay's mom

(17:34):
having a deep discussion whilst walking behind us. Neither will
say what they talked about, but Mom seemed a bit
happier after their talk. They have also been talking since
as yesterday, my mom told me that she will be
coming to Kay's mom's for Christmas, and they've been talking
about going shopping together next week. When Mom told Sarah
after calling me, Sarah predictably lost her mind and said
that mom was choosing us over her. My mom told

(17:57):
her she was choosing to have a good Christmas rather
then being belittled and made miserable, all for the sake
of Steve and is so called honesty. Sarah then called
me and asked if I was happy that I'd won.
She then did the unforgivable ough and used a few
homophobic slurs towards me and Kay called Jack the B

(18:19):
word of a or. I ended the call, blocked her everywhere,
and then let my family know what had happened, and
then I never wanted to speak to her again. They're
all as appalled as I am, and my Ganny mom's
mum called Sarah and apparently told her that she was
passed away to her and she wouldn't have a bigot
in the family. Wow, crops to the family for not

(18:41):
for standing on business. Yeah, like I don't. You never
can talk to us again, right? I Love?

Speaker 4 (18:47):
There are so many stories where it's like the family
is like, well, well she's gonna away their family, but
this one is like.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Girl, get out, get out of heah. You're not welcome
by Christmas because you're a grinch and you don't even
have a nice redemption arc. Exactly, your heart's drinking. Sarah
had been trying to reach out to apologize because she
knows she has stepped over the unforgivable line, but I've
just kept blocking the fake accounts that she's making on Instagram.
Steve tried reaching out to my dad after this, and

(19:15):
when he eventually answered, Steve tried to say that Sarah
was just angry and didn't mean it. I don't care.
I don't care even if you're angry. Using slurs is
never excuse me, Like what do you mean, because that
means that you that you've thought that you know, you
don't just use slurs willy nilly, right, you've had to
have used them before, right, or at least have like

(19:37):
the mindset yehere, like you know, or where you think
that like it it's not that serious or something like that,
or that that's an okay thing to say, like you
can't you can't like do something like that and then
just say like, oh, but it didn't mean it. Yeah No,
I just like, can't take that back? Yeah yeah, According
to my mom, and dad ended up giving him a
verbal lashing and told him that he was the worst

(19:57):
thing that had ever happened to Sarah and our My
dad has told Sarah he is disgusted with her, but
will be there for her if she leaves Steve. Until then,
good luck. Mom has gone a low contact as well,
but wants to keep the door open so that Sarah
isn't completely isolated. I had a few people saying that
Steve may be abusive towards Sarah, but I really don't
think he is. He usually acts like a wiener when

(20:19):
the attention isn't on him. He knows that when he
says wienerish things, then all the attention is on him,
and he revels in it. He's a troll. After Sarah's outburst,
I just think they're both toxic and feed off each
other's toxicity. She lets him get away with the things
he says because she gets pleasure out of watching us
all bite our tongues and keep quiet. So Mom's angry,
Dad's angry, Our three grandparents are angry. Extended family's angry

(20:42):
and Kay is my rock, but I can tell she's
really angry about what she said towards Jack. I mean,
at least have you have the support system behind you.
Everyone is behind you, and Kay and Jack good, and
that's like the thing to remember. Like obviously what Steve
and Sarah said and are doing is despicable. Sad to
lose a person like your sister, but just know that,

(21:04):
like you have done nothing wrong, right, and it's just
them being big. It's yep. I'm just sad and done
with it all. At least now I know what she
really thinks about Jack k and myself. So there's that,
and you know what I think. What do you think, Sophia?
I think you should listen to more episodes and stories
like this on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favorite podcast app.

(21:24):
Just search about a start time. What a great idea,
I know, That's what I think. Just at just a
little bought and there is a little bit left. But
do you have any final thoughts? I feel like you
know you kind of are taking the high road in
a way you are, I mean, you know a way
have you like shouted at her right or like gotten

(21:44):
physically aggressive with her.

Speaker 4 (21:46):
Because taking the highroad doesn't have to mean like tolerating
just let me.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
It doesn't mean letting someone walk all over you.

Speaker 4 (21:51):
Exactly like you can still handle it in a very
mature way. And I think that's like very high and
I think it's what you do, know, and so so
I think I commend you for that good job.

Speaker 2 (22:04):
It's about what's doing. It's about doing what's best for
your family. And Jack does not need these people around
him because they suck. Yeah, but there is a little
bit left. Let's get all into it. Nah, not the
perfect update, but we move on. It will be nice
this Christmas to have both sides of the family together
for the first time and not have to worry about

(22:25):
Steve being a wiener. But I'm sad that this is
how my relationship with my sister has ended. I'm trying
to get into the Christmas spirit, but it's a tough
one right now. The only things that are making me
smile are Cay and Jack being goofy idiots trying to
cheer me up. However, the recorder can go to hell.
I curse whoever invented the thing, Like, seriously, f you,
thanks for all the support. In my original post and

(22:47):
opening my eyes to a few things. Maybe internet strangers
are the way to go for advice after all, hope
you all have a good Christmas slash Holidays. And then
one commoner says, I don't think the wienerish brother in
law and Sarah Saga have concluded. I'm glad you'll have
a peaceful Christmas and theory. I just think the pair
of them are not convinced yet that they're shut out.
Obie says, it wouldn't surprise me if they try and
turn up to my parents for Christmas, but we won't

(23:09):
be there, so they won't get far. As long as
they stay away from me, okay and Jack, then I
don't care what they do. Colminser says, many small children
playing recorders with more enthusiasm than skill. Follow Steve everywhere,
Follow Steve everywhere. Obi says, this just made me laugh
a little too hard. Thanks for that, and that is
the end of that story. It's seeming like tough, always tough,

(23:32):
losing a family member right anyway, even if it means
like cutting them off right. But it does seem like
this was the right decision for everyone involved and handling
it well, even though it's difficult.

Speaker 4 (23:43):
Agree, that's that's and that's amazing, and that's amazing.

Speaker 2 (23:47):
Christ just spirit. Yes, but that is the end of
that story.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
My boyfriend and man'spleen farming to my new friend and
now he's not talking to me.

Speaker 3 (23:57):
I do that all the time and people will love it.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
Yeah, please plan farming to me.

Speaker 3 (24:01):
So farming is and you're done.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
We're not longer talking. I twenty four female, had been
with my boyfriend, twenty eight male for nearly two years.
He's usually a caring and patient partner and we are
very close. Our relationship was a bit of a slow
builder because I was inexperienced romantically and very nervous about dating.
When we first met on an app. My boyfriend James
fake name for privacy, didn't mind that I was new
to dating. It was very courteous and patient with me,

(24:24):
and honestly was wonderful about making my romantic first into
positive memories. By the way, this comes from user available
respect four five six, and you can submit your stories
on the r slash Okay storytime separated. So James and
I have very few arguments in our entire relationship. I'm
a by woman. I've known this for a long time.
A lot of by women probably know it's so much

(24:44):
easier to meet guys on apps than finding other women
looking for women. I was open with James from the beginning,
but I didn't get much of a response regarding this,
which seemed fine, but I was trying really hard to
present my authentic self and be genuine. Turns out a
big part of myself is crushing on girls me too. Anyways,
it was only a small thing. I was calling a
video game character my wife, and James snapped me not

(25:07):
to say that. I tried to defend myself, saying she
was fictional and not a threat to our relationship. But
I did start to see it from his side, and
I get that it must have felt disrespectful to him
as my boyfriend. I don't think he's a problem with
my spiciality. He has a gay male friend and there's
no issue there. If anything, I was glad it wasn't
the trope of straight dude things. It's hot that I
like women more of the matter at hand. A few

(25:29):
months ago, I did start to feel like I was
missing out on a real connection with similar minded people,
not romantically, to be clear, but I thought it would
be nice to have queer friends and go to pride
festivals and whatnot. I'm dating a man, but I'm still
a queer woman and I wanted to meet people I
could relate to. I started going to local women's LGBTQ
plus casual social meets and has been wonderful. It's a
really laid back and welcoming space. I've become friendly with

(25:51):
quite a few people. I've been invited to outings and dinners.
I'm so happy I decided to go, as it's had
a really positive impact on my social life. I only
had a few friends before, and they were not mutual
to each other. There is one person from the group
in particular who have started to become really close to.
She's great. She's so much fun to be around with
and we have so many shared interests. I'm calling her
Emma twenty five female. Before we go into the story,

(26:14):
you think we should bring the boyfriend to these events?

Speaker 3 (26:17):
Who ah?

Speaker 1 (26:20):
I think it should be a conversation because, for OP,
you should be open about what you want with your speciality.
You know, this is something for you to explore. He
should support that, not you like, not necessarily a tug
of war, but that's something you want to explore. He
should support it full me.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
It just sounds like she wants to meet more people
in that community. Yeah, and Emma could be a friend.
I don't know where this is gonna go, but I
feel like she may develop a little crush on Emma.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yeah, or boyfriend's gonna get really threatened.

Speaker 3 (26:52):
Yeah, because it gets threatened over a video game character.

Speaker 2 (26:55):
That Yeah, that's wild.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
James has met Emma since she has come over a
few times already. I live with James, and he said
she was really cool and he was happy I was
meeting lots of new people. Nice. I have probably been
a lot more chill and bearable to live with since
I'm feeling more fulfilled socially. But that's until this last
week or so, since James has really changed his tune.
I don't think it's possible to give all the context,
but I'm going to keep trying to explain things. The

(27:17):
three of us went to the cinema and got food.
After Me and Emma were possibly acting a little bit
obnoxious and talking maybe too loudly about the intensely homerotic
undertones and the Deadpool and Wolverine car scene. I noticed
James glaring, so I was trying to pull it back
a bit and read the room before I got a
chance to change the subject James and to Emma, could
you not try to ruin the effing film just because

(27:37):
you want to make it gay? In a tone I've
never heard him use before. It kind of flashbanged me,
and I still can't believe the way he looked at her. Amazingly,
she completely shrugged it off and laughed, and our food
is brought to the table, so things just moved along.
When James and I got home later, I sinsed he
was being a bit cold towards me, but maybe I
imagined it. The following morning, I asked if he was
doing okay, as he was still a bit frosty with me.

(27:58):
I apologized for me and Emma maybe being a bit
over the top, but we were having fun. He said
it was fine, but he wants to go and see
the film again by himself. Kind of puzzling since we
weren't making a sound during the film, but he probably
would have gone to see it again regardless of what
happened with me and Emma. I tried to let that
drop and get on with things, but work is driving
me mad at the moment. Just a busy season right now,

(28:20):
and I can go without any more on my plate.
I've been playing a lot of Stardow Valley in my
off time, which is a poor way to distress, since
I run my form with an intensity that I myself
cannot comprehend.

Speaker 3 (28:30):
And the nerd translation of that is.

Speaker 1 (28:34):
Oh, you're going to me. I don't really play Starduo Valley,
but it is a farming sim pretty much.

Speaker 3 (28:38):
Thank you. He knew what it was, don't don't. Don't
act like you don't know what it is.

Speaker 1 (28:43):
It's more than there's that. It's like, hey, James pops
in co Ops sometimes, as he enjoys the game too,
but he prefers the Farming Simulator game series, which is
a more realistic representation of farming. While texting Emma, I
mentioned Stardu and she asked if she can join me sometime. Joking,
I asked if a she could handle my iron fisted
rule of the crop fields and B maybe wouldn't feel

(29:04):
like a second job. Emma works in agriculture. Turns out
she has hundreds of hours logged in and knows what
she's doing, and promised she wouldn't mind the monster I
become when managing seasonal crop schedules. This is actually really funny.

Speaker 3 (29:16):
This is funny, and I see a little bit of.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
Flirting, playful flirting, but I think it's it's like harmless flirting.

Speaker 3 (29:25):
I'm still keeping an eye on it, okay.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
But we I will kind of want to talk about
James getting a little up tight at the movies and
the comment he said, Oh he's jealous, dude. Yeah, I
was gonna say, oh, he's very jealous that you guys
have a connection, but also like maybe he does feel
threatened from Emma just a little bit, And why do
you you didn't have You shouldn't have to apologize having

(29:48):
a good time with your friend, like maybe, oh, I'm
sorry that we were a little loud, Like okay, and
be like I'm gonna go fine, we go see a
movie by myself. I would, I would. I would bring
up the problem there. I'd be like, hey, what' really
going on?

Speaker 3 (30:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
Emma and I were playing late in the evening and
James appeared in the game. We both typed hello to
him in the chat box, and he left the game
seconds after I shouted him in the next room. Asking
where he'd gone, but I didn't get a response. I
spent a bit more time playing with Emma, stopping around
Pelicantown and having fun, then turned off the game. I
went into the living room to see James on the
sofa and knows him playing farming simulator on the PlayStation.

(30:21):
I joked, asking, did you fancy some real farming the night.
I got a bit of a crappy response, and he
grumbled that he didn't want to interrupt. I told him
he could have played with us. Then he told me
he's not keen on Emma. M wow.

Speaker 3 (30:36):
I had no idea, didn't see.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
That one coming. I didn't want to point out that
he previously said otherwise, people are entitled to change their
minds and opinions. He has friends I'm not keen on,
so this is probably fair. Honestly, I kind of froze
up and didn't know what to say. I don't normally
get this kind of attitude from him. Maybe I was
quiet for too long, because he turned off his game
and he said good night and went to bed. When
I went to bed an hour later, he was still awake,
and we started talking to summarize how that went. I

(31:00):
asked him if he wanted to tell me what was
going on his mind. He said that he just felt
a bit excluded and he was sorry for being grumpy.
I apologized for making him feel that way, but I
told him I was happy I had found a good
friend and it was okay if the two of them
just don't mix well together, he doesn't have to see
here all the time. He told me not to hide
the friendship from him and that he would just work
it out in himself. I still don't really know what

(31:21):
that means, but it felt like a peaceful resolution at
the time. I'd weekend plans with Emma and some others
from the group to go for a walk slash hike,
and James was originally planning to tag along, but changed
his mind and then changed his back, so we went
together and met up with everybody at the car park.
He seemed to be in a good mood that morning
and back to his usual easy going self, and we
were mostly all enjoying a nice scenic walk. We had

(31:42):
one person pointing out different types of trees, one geology
enthusiast admiring rock formations, and one person passing out home
bake goods. Pretty incredible outing. We were high up and
had great views of the area, mostly forrest and farmland,
still being huge into the stardew grind. I was joking
about it looking like my farm. It was windy. I
didn't hear exactly what was said, but I gathered that

(32:03):
Emma was talking about farming and James tried to correct
her on something that was said. I heard Emma say, James,
I'm a real farmer. There were a few laughs, even
from James. In the moment. My heart absolutely crapped itself
because I thought he was going to snap, but thankfully
he seemed to shake it off. Later on our way
back down, we all spread out and I was walking
next to James and he was looking at his phone

(32:25):
studying something. He started telling me about the general options
for getting into a career in agriculture. I just nodded
along and hurt him out. I don't want to puke
fun at him for this timing of this. I think
this is something he has genuinely considered. He really does
enjoy farming simulator, and it seems like the game has
taught him a lot about farming. Somebody even must have
overheard this and mentioned it to Emma because when we
got back to the car park, she came over. She said,

(32:46):
sorry if I was a bit pointed, just let me
know if you want any tips on anything. Genuinely, James
just said a quick yeah, cheers and sort of shuffled
out of it.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
And you can shuffle stories just like this on your
favorite podcast platforms like Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Worry we listen
to podcasts. Go search up Okay story times for more
stories just like this.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
There's another one right there. We just added another one,
and another one, another one. There's a little bit more
to this story.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
I don't know. I don't know what Emma's prerogative is here.
She could be just a fun friend. I think why
I'm like she's after Opie. I don't know why I'm
feeling that way.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
I don't feel that way. I feel like this needs
to be a conversation with all three of you, especially
if you want to keep a connection with someone one
that's romantically and a friendship that you really enjoy you.
I mean, yes, you don't need them to be complete buddy, buddy,
but you're like, hey, I'm in the middle of this
and there doesn't need to be any tension. Please get along.

(33:45):
It seems like they do from time to time, but
it's like, you're not fighting over me, like I love
you both. I love you as a friend, I love
you as a lover.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
I think this needs to be a conversation between all
three of them. Hey, can we actually have a genuine
talk about everything?

Speaker 3 (34:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (34:02):
So it doesn't make me feel like a bad person.

Speaker 3 (34:05):
Yeah so okay, no, sure, true dad.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Back to the story now I'm writing it down. It
kind of sounds resolved there, but I'm still up to
the point feeling really unsteady. James has been giving me
the silent treatment since then. I've been trying to discuss
this because I think we need to talk about whatever
is going on here regarding my friendship with Emma. Okay,
wow on that one. This feels so uncharacteristic from him,

(34:29):
and it is all still recent. It's been four days
since the walk and the air is still not clear.
Do I need to assert myself that I should be
okay for me to have this friendship. I need to
know what the problem is, especially with it being a
friendship with my queer friend in a queer friend group
where I am also queer. He's been brushing me off
and saying things are fine. We do not have proper arguments,
but I guess that means we've never learned to deal

(34:50):
with conflict either. With what context I've been able to describe?
How should I go about bridging this gap when he's
not acknowledging any of it right now? Sorry, this is
all a mess. I really appreciate any of so, like
I said, this needs to be brought up to both parties. Yeah,
and this needs to you because it also affects you
the most. Yeah, you need to talk to James immediately

(35:11):
because the cold treatment, the silent treatment. That's not right.
He's not being very mature about this, the saying it's fine,
it's fine, I'm fine. Obviously you're not fine. Yeah, but
that is the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
Hey, it's Sam' your og host.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
Here.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three
minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (35:32):
I thought my boyfriend having a teddy bear was cute,
but now it's disturbing.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
Just let the man have his teddy bear.

Speaker 3 (35:38):
Okay, now, please, no joke, this is actually serious. I've
been with my boyfriend for three months.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
Now.

Speaker 3 (35:44):
So it's pretty new. So far everything is going well
except this tiny detail. He has this teddy bear. Let's
name him Teddy.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (35:53):
Teddy has been always a part of my boyfriend's life.
You got him from his birth or in the age
of five or six, whatever age is a pro aged
to remove a teddy bear from a child. His parents
tried taking Teddy away from him. He screamed and cried
so loud without stopping. They ended up giving up, so
he kept Teddy with him his whole life. By the way,
this comes from Throwaway. I wonder why on the r

(36:15):
slash Okay story toms ub bred and so. He mentioned
Teddy to me pretty early, about a week after us
being together, he showed me pictures of him, and I
find it cute. At first, he had plenty of pictures
of him in different situations, him with the mug, him
laying in bed, him studying. I truly found it adorable
since I thought it was just a joke really, and
I didn't think that Teddy was such a big part
of his life. The more we got to know each other,

(36:36):
the more he started mentioning him. He'd often make jokes
about him when he had come back to his flat.
He'd say, I have to come back to Teddy. He
is waiting for me.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
Okay, that's a little weird.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
And then later he texts me, okay, I'll put Teddy
to bed now, so I might go to sleep as well.
I don't want to wake him up again. A little weird,
but still cute. But he really started talking about him constantly,
always linking what we were doing to him. I wish
Teddy was doing this with us. Teddy doesn't really like people,
so I won't take him with me for this party,

(37:06):
et cetera. He'd send me selfies with him at least
twice a week. He also sometimes said weird stuff, like
whenever we watched a spicy sleep scene in a movie,
he said, that's what me and Teddy do when we're alone.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
Okay, I wait, wait.

Speaker 3 (37:21):
Wait, wait, wait you well, just here we go. Or
when I asked when he lost his V card, he answered, oh,
I lost it with Teddy a few years ago.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
Okay, I take it back.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
They were jokes that made me uncomfortable. He always seemed
to consider him as a baby Slash's son, Slash's brother,
so him being spicyalized was extremely weird.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
For me.

Speaker 3 (37:46):
I told him that it was weird and he just laughed.
But I don't think he took me seriously. Okay, about
a month ago, I told him I was okay with
him bringing Teddy. When he was staying around my flat,
I could see he was making him sad to leave
him at home, and also was very curious to finally
see him in person. I can't go to my boyfriend's flat.
There are rules that are strict. He can't invite anyone.

(38:09):
When he got in the car, he pulled him out
from his bag and had him give me a kiss
on the cheek. When we drove, he opened the window
and put Teddy out of the car a bit like
a dog would. He said it was read for Teddy
to trowl like that, and he could feel that he
was happy. Teddy smells a lot. My boyfriend has washed
him in twelve years.

Speaker 1 (38:27):
Oh No.

Speaker 3 (38:28):
For the rest of the car drive, he hugged him,
gave him kisses. He has a weird twitch where he
just compulsively pats the back of Teddy and makes a
weird sound because Teddy used to be able to play music.
When he press his belly, he rubs Teddy's clothes in
between his fingers. You can guess that Teddy is in
pretty bad state. He used to be red, but now

(38:50):
he's just gray. And when we're in bed, he always
puts Teddy's mouth on mine and I always avoid it
as I find it disgusting, and I told him that
I hate it, but he does listen. He always tries
to have Teddy touch my breasts or my booty when
we have spicy sleep. I often end up finding him
in between us, and every time I throw him away,

(39:11):
my boyfriend says, oh no. He likes to watch in
a joking way. He often mentions us having a party
of three with Teddy. Now now we already already know
what I think, Like everyone knows.

Speaker 2 (39:27):
How I feel about this. Ah, but we could use
this to.

Speaker 3 (39:31):
Our advantage here, No, hear me, How if you really
like this guy and he's the one for you, No,
you'd be like, hey, how's Teddy feling right now? And
then whatever Teddy's feeling is actually how he's feeling, and
it could be like a.

Speaker 1 (39:45):
You gotta burn this. I'm not kidding you got this?
He seriously, one needs to get rid of that bear.
I'm flip switching here, I'm complete. At first, I thought
it was like, oh, it's really cute, and like, oh,
that's fine, you can have a Teddy bear. No, no, no, no, no, no,
this is not okay. This is like clinical you need help,

(40:06):
because that is that is I'd.

Speaker 3 (40:09):
Say, give him a recommendation to a therapist and walk out.
I think that's best. But we are not even sure the.

Speaker 1 (40:17):
Way done or should should ope be a monster?

Speaker 3 (40:21):
No, we don't want to do that because we don't
know what he would do.

Speaker 2 (40:23):
I we don't know.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
I am genuinely scared for op.

Speaker 3 (40:27):
Now this is weird. This is scared leaf leaf Okay,
Now I'm not an idiot. I know communication is important.
I tried talking to him so many times, sometimes in
a joking way too, so he doesn't feel attacked. Like
once I asked who he choose if he had to
choose me and Teddy. He said Teddy, but also so
many times in a serious way. I told him I
didn't like it when he was rubbing Teddy on my

(40:47):
face and body. I told him I found his relationship
with him way too intense and weird. But every time
he didn't take it seriously, made jokes and never truly
told me what he thought. I should mention that he
is like that for any serious conversation. All he does
is make awkward jokes and never tells me how he feels.
He said I love you first because he was wasted.
This is becoming hard to handle. I have been away

(41:09):
from him for two weeks and kind of relieved I
wouldn't see Teddy anymore. But all he did was send
pictures and whatever. I asked him, what are you doing
or what did you do today? His answer was playing
with Teddy today? He told me I was perfect, which
was at first, and I sure didn't expect that. He
doesn't give me a lot of compliments. When he said that,

(41:30):
I said really, and his reply was actually, no, Teddy
is perfect. You come way after him? I just gave
up and didn't reply. Now I have three questions. One
am I overreacting? Am I the one not being tolerant enough?
Am I some born girlfriend who can't welcome some childishness
in her couple?

Speaker 2 (41:49):
Two?

Speaker 3 (41:49):
What should I do? Should I let him live his
life with Teddy? Should I ask him to make a
real choice? Should I ask him to just stop these
spicy sleep jokes? Like? Who am I to ask saying,
I don't know, is it my place to tell him
to stop being so weird with his Teddy bear? And three,
how do I get him to finally talk to me
and take me seriously? We have an update, girl. I

(42:12):
think another red flag that I saw was his flat,
Like he has very strict rules and you can't go
over there.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
That's that's yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:21):
I don't know what that's about, but I would probably
consider that, like maybe he still lives with his parents.
I think this guy might be damaged under the hood
pretty bad.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
Something traumatic must have happened.

Speaker 3 (42:32):
And this is not a you know, makeover project that
you should take. I think this should be a therapist.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
Job, and like you should obviously care about the guy,
but this is something that is gonna take a lot
of time. And this is not like an easy fixer upper.
It is some deep trauma that needs to be brought up,
and I feel like he's got a joke about it. No,
I don't need help, Teddy says, I don't need help.

(42:59):
Teddy doesn't need help. I think you're gonna have to
talk to his parents or something, because this is a
serious case of I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 3 (43:08):
I don't think parents. I think parents put up with this,
gave up on him in his relationship with Teddy, and well.

Speaker 1 (43:15):
I would at least try to talk to his parents
because they maybe they might know they're rude.

Speaker 3 (43:20):
I believe they are really. I think he still lives
with his parents and he can't she can't go to
his flat because he.

Speaker 1 (43:26):
What does he do for work? How did you meet
this guy? I want to know some details that, like
where did this come from? But this guy has some
very like psychotic behavior, like, oh, you can't come to
my flat. I have strict rules. I follow up. I
do all these weird jokes with this Teddy Bear that
I haven't watched since I was twelve years old. Let
me rub him on your face. Also, I've done really

(43:47):
weird things with Teddy even though he's like a brother
to me.

Speaker 3 (43:51):
Yeah, I think we're about to get a lot more
answers in this update.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
I hope. Yeah. This is this is weird. It's one
of the weirdest stories I've ever heard. In my opinion,
out of all the stories I've read, this is the
one that kind.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
Of like top five for sure.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
I'm like squirming and cringing.

Speaker 3 (44:07):
A Lotah first of all, I like to say thank
you to you all. I'm safe for those who are word.
You're all really scared me though, I had many questions
that were asked, so I'm quickly going to reply to
the ones I saw most offer him. Why are you
with this guy? Are you insecure? Why are your standard solo?

Speaker 2 (44:23):
Et cetera.

Speaker 3 (44:23):
I obviously didn't write down his niceness description. Apart from
his weird teddy bear fantasy, he was a completely normal
guy with friends, going to parties, studying and so on.
He's quite the popular guy. In fact, even though I
don't care about this kind of thing, he took me
on dates and made me feel special. I really thought
he was a keeper. At the beginning. Him being a

(44:43):
little childish didn't bother me. I myself had stuffed animals,
and even though they're in the cupboard, I used to
love them as a kid. That's when he started spicy
sleeping his bear and involving me in it. That freaked
me out. The problem is it's hard to tell when
he's joking or not. He constantly makes jokes. That's why
I could never tell whether I was overreacting or not.

(45:06):
Is he just joking or does he mean what he says. However,
one thing I really didn't see coming, and you guys
helped me realize it is lack of respect towards me
and my boundaries. Sometimes it's easier to see from an
external point of view. This whole time, I was too
focused on wondering whether it was normal or not for
me to feel uncomfortable. I didn't realize not once did

(45:26):
he help me feel comfortable despite me telling him how
I felt. Thank you all, because that's the one thing
you all really helped me for. I would have probably
taken more time to realize it on my own, even
though it looks obvious about the guy who said he
knew him. Unfortunately it wasn't him. Thank you so much
for the help, though, run away. He's going to pass

(45:46):
you away. He's psychotic. Although this behavior is extremely weird,
I don't see him hurting anyone. Yeah, obviously it's easier
for me to tell since you all have based your
opinion on what I said. He doesn't match this I
go path personalities at all.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
That's what they all say.

Speaker 3 (46:03):
I'm not allowed to visit him because he lives in
a private home. A person hosts him in one of
their bedrooms, and this person doesn't allow any visit. Is
it weirdly strict? Yes, but it's believable. And I've seen
his sister once, who's confirmed that she couldn't visit him herself.
One thing is sure, though. Although he may not hurt anyone,
he seems to have a serious problems and I'm not

(46:24):
sure if I can handle it. It's fake. It looks
like the Ted movie. I know. All looks surreal, but
it's true. I have multiple pictures of Teddy if some
of you were interested. I know a lot about Teddy's
past because my boyfriend won't shut up about him. That's
why I knew. I know the movie Ted and I've
never seen it, but my boyfriend actually suggests that we

(46:45):
should watch it like a month ago. Burn Teddy, make
him disappear, et cetera. Haha, thank you. I did think
about that a lot. Often hide him when he brings
him to my flat, so I know exactly where he is,
so my boyfriend doesn't think about him though. He always
ends up looking for him though, but still it gives
me a break. What did you do? In the end,
I was meant to see him today, so I picked

(47:06):
him up and we drove to my flat. Of course
Teddy was there, and when he came in the car,
my boyfriend had him give me kisses and stuff. I said, stop, please,
in a cold way, and he stopped. I said we
needed to talk, and he listened because I started crying.
I thought it would be hard for me to start talking,
but since I was so stressed with all your comments,
I just broke down and cried. I told him how
I needed him to stop with Teddy, that he needed

(47:28):
to stop being so close and dependent on him, and
Teddy shouldn't come to my flat anymore. I'm just like
imagining this conversation.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
While he has Teddy in his hand, He's.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
Like, Teddy shouldn't come to this flat anymore. Teddy is Teddy,
and then he.

Speaker 1 (47:40):
Puts like the head like Teddy's head down, and he's like,
is that how you feel?

Speaker 3 (47:44):
Yeah, just like you're in the car.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (47:48):
Wow, I'm just just wow.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
I'm this is this is one of those stories where
it's like a complete shock and awe because I get
at the beginning, I was like, oh no, he just
like loves his Teddy and Baron. It's like an emotional bond.
This is a basis, oh yeah, this is yeah. I
want to see how he responds.

Speaker 3 (48:07):
His response. At first he was silent, but then he
said he didn't understand why I was so uncomfortable with it.
That is purely joking, that he knew Teddy wasn't real
and that it was hurting him to see that I
thought he had a problem. I was extremely disappointed of
this reaction and just told him I needed a break.
I drove him back to his flat and that's where

(48:28):
I am now. By the way, if you want to
listen to more crazy stories just like this, go to
your favorite podcast platform, search up Okay story Time and
you will get a plethora of stories just like these.
But I say, I said, we just finished it out.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
I said, we just finished it out. But I do
you just tell him how it is and if he
can't see straight, like, hey, get help and I'm out
of this relationship. It's only three months.

Speaker 3 (48:53):
In edit, everyone is saying the post is deleted. I
have no idea why wasn't deleted before the original post
is available? Thanks, thank you all for your comments. I
realized there was a confusion. No, I'm not in his flat.
I'm home safe until I'll sleep out of friends tonight
and I can talk about it, and I'm never going
back with him. He sent me terrible messages all night
which convinced me to never get back with him. Thank

(49:13):
you again and have a nice day. I'll send a
picture of Teddy for those who want one in a bit,
but I have to get ready for school first. Don't worry.
The face of my boyfriend won't be sean. I'm breaking
up with my boyfriend of two years because of a
TikTok comment.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
Well, it's the good thing TikTok's Oh wait, never mind.

Speaker 3 (49:31):
I feel so icky. I've we've been together since I
was sixteen and he was seventeen. My friend sent me
a link to his TikTok of these two guys talking
about how when one of them cheated on his girlfriend,
she cheated on him after finding out instead of working
to fix the relationship.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
Ah, the good old eye for an eye.

Speaker 3 (49:49):
By the way, this comes from throwaway TikTok comment on
the r slash ow okay storytimes I've read it. Demand
of the video said it was his biggest heartbreak because
while his meant nothing to him, she's with one of
his ex friends. She said she had a crush on
before they got together. The video said it's a woman's
duty to be nurturing and forgiving in a relationship, and
that women have to understand that certain men aren't monogamous.

(50:14):
My friend sent it to me and said, I cannot
believe how out of touch these men are. After watching
the TikTok video, I decided to read the comments. The
first one I see is my boyfriend tagging two mutual
friends of ours and saying women question mark Christian mark what.
One of our friends responded to the comment and said

(50:34):
females are so dramatic, and my boyfriend responded, agreeing to him.
I feel sick. I thought we had the same views
on things like this. He was raised by a single
teen mom who worked three jobs to keep a roof
over his head, food in his mouth, and allowed him
to play soccer despite their tight budget and expensive little
league fees. When we first started dating, I asked him

(50:56):
who his role model was, and he said his mom.
He went on and on how strong and brave she
is and how much he appreciates her after all she's
done for him and was single and living alone at seventeen.
Because my boyfriend's father cheated on her after she gave
birth and was recovering because he can't be expected not
to have spicy sleep for eight weeks. I am just upset.

(51:20):
I'm at school right now. It's typing this out in
one of the bathroom stalls because I can't keep this
to myself anymore. I'm disgusted with him. He texted me
earlier this morning asking if we want to hang out
after school, and I said yes. I'm going to break
up with him and tell him why.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
Yeah, sorry, you have your reasonings.

Speaker 3 (51:36):
And to add, he has commented under almost every post
this account has made, agreeing with all of their misogynistic views.
He thinks girlfriend slash wives or property of the men
they're with. Edit too. I'm going to show up at
his house and say we're done lmao and leave. I'm
going to tell him what I saw, and if there's
no explanation for it, I DeKay, what the heck kind

(51:56):
of justification there is for the crap that he said?
But we'll see then I'll break up with him. I'm
giving them the benefit of the doubt as much as
I can. I don't know why some of y'all think
I'm just gonna say we're done with no explanation or discussion.
Mini update, y'all. Okay, short amount of time for my
last comment. I made my last comment from my car
and then started driving back home to hopefully try to

(52:18):
get my crap together before he gets off work. In
twenty minutes, his mother called me while I was in
the car, literally as I'm driving two minutes away from
my house. She calls me and asks what sides I
want her to make for Thanksgiving? She's a literal angel, WTF?
And I tried to keep it together the best I could.
I guess you could hear that I was upset, and
she said, in her mom's voice, what's more, I'm beautiful.

(52:39):
And I started sobbing, like so bad. I had to
pull over at the interests of my neighborhood. And I
told her the bare minimum of what I'd seen, as
much as I could through a crap ton of snot
and tears, and she was just dead silent for like
twenty seconds. And I swear my heart fell out of
my butthole.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
Why did you write that? You could just say?

Speaker 3 (52:59):
My heart felt like there's only one hole for it
to go out.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
Keon, you can always throw up your heart.

Speaker 3 (53:06):
Oh, she didn't want to go there. She said, honey,
he's not at work right now, and I dang near past.
Get this, y'all. Her best friend owns a bunch of
apartment complexes like luxury nice apartment like three point five
k a month. Kind this mffort is viewing an apartment
to surprise me with when I graduate.

Speaker 6 (53:27):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (53:27):
Oh, that breakup don't seem so good now.

Speaker 3 (53:31):
It's getting a little complicated.

Speaker 1 (53:33):
It's yeah, maybe maybe we slowed the brakes. And just
so we talk about this.

Speaker 3 (53:38):
His mom said, her friend offered one of the apartments
to my boyfriend for dirt cheap, and he's planning to
get all the papers signed and surprise me with it
on Valentine's Day. Since the current tenant, the friend's oldest
daughter is moving out to a house with her wife
and her release ends February first, his mom's coming over
to look at the screenshots I have. Then she's taken

(54:00):
me back to their house to confront him. She's literally
the sweetest you guys.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
She said.

Speaker 3 (54:05):
She wanted to be in the house when I talked
to him, just in case. Currently sitting right inside the
front door of my house, taking the eight minutes in
between their house and mine to type this out. I
am in shock. I'm just waiting for her to pull up,
and I'll update as soon as I can. I don't
think that I'm sad anymore, just pissed off and confused
as how we got an update.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
Yeah, I'm not sad anymore. I'm I'm getting a brand
new apartment. Dude.

Speaker 3 (54:29):
She's like, what, this relationship is really not that serious,
it's just two years whatever, we'll break up and then
apartment three point five game luxury. Okay, oh my goodness,
we'll get an update.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
So yeah, see what she says.

Speaker 3 (54:43):
First things First, I see a lot of people thinking
the apartment changes things. It does not. Yeah, my wording
was off, and I apologize. When I said I wasn't
sad anymore, I meant I no longer was grieving our relationship.
I was angry at him. The apartment was never going
to make me stay with him. Second, also about the apartment,
it's three point five k for a one bedroom. His
mom said he was looking at a three bedroom what

(55:05):
would have been our room and then office for each
of us. We would have been paying maybe thousand a
month for what's usually five point eight K monthly apartment?

Speaker 1 (55:16):
I take that deal.

Speaker 3 (55:17):
I would be rethinking this relationship if I heard that,
I'd be like, Yo, what three bedroom apartment.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
And I get my own office for one K?

Speaker 3 (55:26):
You know, you know I'm gonna be live streaming out
of that like crazy.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
Well, for one K?

Speaker 1 (55:33):
I want to be friends with your mom's friend. What
the heck?

Speaker 3 (55:36):
Me too? I only brought up price because he graduated
from high school last year. He's not in college. He
works a good job, though, and I'm still in high school.
We spoke briefly about getting an apartment in that complex
once we're on our feet financially. I should have included
that in our previous post, because while his mom's friend
owns cheaper apartments, he was getting the one we both
deemed our dream. I don't know what to fill right now.

(56:00):
I just can't make sense of anything at the moment,
So this update might be messy and all over the place. Now,
onto the update the talk. I got to his home
and immediately showed him the screenshots. I asked him what
the f they were about and told him I was
disgusted with him. I could literally see the color drain
from his face on a shocking He started talking really fast,

(56:21):
and after like forty five seconds of rushed explanation, he
just stopped. He stopped talking for a minute or two
and just start stared at the floor. This pissed me
off so dang bad. So I got up to leave.
He grabbed my hand and told me he could explain everything.
He handed me his phone and told me to open
his discord and click on one specific server. Y'all. I
just kind of stared at him, like WTF. Anyways, he

(56:43):
explains to me that one of the two guys he
was tagging in these posts was a chauvinist, and him
and a few other people were gathering evidence to send
to the dude's girlfriend. I did not believe him at all.
Then the mffort opens his laptop, pulls up one of
those group Google doc things, and it goes back like
a month and a half. Him and some of his

(57:03):
friends had noticed some weird behavior from the dude and
decided to warn his girlfriend. The problem is she's naive,
and they thought she wouldn't believe him without evidence.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
Girl, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (57:13):
I don't believe I didn't just see this Google docter.

Speaker 1 (57:16):
But also the comments that you he had. He was like,
women are like agreed? Was he trying to like entrap
his friend to do that?

Speaker 3 (57:27):
So technically in that video that we're talking about how
women should be forgiving, and I think he was baiting
him like women question mark question mark, like asking him
like playing dumb, like women, what does he mean by that?
And then the guy went into detail like you know, women,
should you know that?

Speaker 1 (57:45):
I mean, he has the evidence. But also if you
you think you guys are such deep partners, you would
talk about it like he would. You would be like, Okay,
well he probably has his reasons.

Speaker 3 (57:57):
You would probably has his reasons.

Speaker 1 (57:58):
Like you would get were two men with the girlfriends,
you would get a woman's perspective on things like if
you're trying to help out another like women, or like
what's like okay, what's the girl code? Or like how
would you go about this?

Speaker 3 (58:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (58:12):
But I don't know, I'm still on my my.

Speaker 3 (58:16):
I mean we got a lot. I feel like he's
gonna I don't know, Okay, it goes back a month
and a half of evidence and like their discord server like.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
That's kind of crazy, and he guess what he didn't
have time to like, all right, guys like put like
make a Google doc. It was just like, look at
my phone, all right, you don't believe me. Where's my laptop?
It was like immediate, yeah, you know. He did not
have time to think it up and create something else. No,
just like I loot if he's just like really elaborate
and he's like, I have a backup plan.

Speaker 3 (58:42):
Get I think this is truth. The doc had links
to every TikTok they'd all commented on, screenshots of their comments,
and screenshots from the discord, then deciding what TikTok to
comment on and what to say the comments he made
on the discord server. Someone sent a screenshot of a
private message from the guy Dean they were gathering evidence about,

(59:03):
basically saying he didn't trust my boyfriend because my boyfriend
never said anything negative about me. So the other mutual
let's call him lucas he tagged in the videos, came
up with the genius idea that my boyfriend should talk
crap about me publicly and call me his b and
his property to gain this dude's trust. Literally, WTF what
I told my boyfriend that even if this was a

(59:25):
setup for this dude, what he said about me was
unacceptable and downright effing disgusting. He agreed wholeheartedly and showed
me the part of the other conversation where my boyfriend
refused to say the things Lucas told him to even
after Lucas told boyfriend that Dean didn't trust him. My
boyfriend's brilliant solution give Lucas' TikTok passwords so Lucas could

(59:47):
do it. I saw in the server that boyfriend did
give Lucas his passwords, and Lucas sins a screenshot of
the first comment right after he made it.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
I'm so confusing.

Speaker 3 (59:57):
I think here's what I think. I I think Lucas
wants to get with Dean's girlfriends. So Lucas is like,
come on, man, you're the one that has a girlfriend
like you gotta you gotta come over here and like,
gain this dude, trust.

Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
Why then, why are you friends with these people? This
is where I might just get away from these dudes high.

Speaker 3 (01:00:14):
School who knows, who knows?

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
Yeah, they just graduated high school. And I still that's
very odd. And even if you were saying these things
on the internet, or having somebody else say these things
on the internet. It's like I said earlier, it's gonna
stay on the internet. You can't and it makes it's
a bad reputation that's already out there for the entire
internet to see. If you were doing this, I would

(01:00:36):
have let my partner at least like, Hey, this is
the plan. We're gonna trap this guy. You're gonna be
part of it.

Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
Terrible communication, no communication at all.

Speaker 1 (01:00:46):
Yeah, this guy likes hiding things. Obviously, he's like apartment.

Speaker 3 (01:00:52):
I think it's a way for the past week and
a half. That's when the first comment about me was posted.
Lucas had been in boyfriend's ticktok. At this point, boyfriend
was in tears and told me he was so sorry
and he would leave the discord, block Lucas and never
talk to him again. He said he deleted his TikTok
and set up parental settings on his phone to ensure
he doesn't download it again. I said no to everything

(01:01:13):
except him leaving the discord and not participating in the
dock anymore, telling him I know about the apartment. In
the aftermath, I basically just told him I know, and
due to all this, I won't be moving in with him.
Whoa He was upset that the surprise was ruined for me,
but he said he understands. He told me that he
respects my wishes and wouldn't move forward with getting the apartment.

(01:01:35):
He brought up couple's therapy and said that he would
go to individual therapy as well. He also offered to
message Lucas and tell him off. In his notesap there
are like three paragraphs already written. Apparently after one comment
Lucas made about cheating on me with boyfriend was trying
to find a way to end whatever it was what
they were doing. I told him I would go to
couples therapy if and only if he one did individual

(01:01:59):
therapy for a month or a bit more weekly appointments
and when his therapist suggests I com in for a session,
I will go Two messages Lucas in front of me
and three never pulls any crap like this again, I
feel like, still get the apartment because that's one hell
of a deal.

Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
Yeah yeah, but.

Speaker 3 (01:02:19):
Don't move them with them right away for you not ready,
and go to couple therapy. That's what I think.

Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
It seems like Op wants to maintain the relationship if
he abides by these rules. I mean the yeah, I
mean the fact that he immediately again was just like,
I'm so sorry. I'm gonna get out of this right now. Therapy,
couples therapy. But like I said, man, the things on
the internet, they're out there for everyone to see, even

(01:02:46):
though you didn't really say it, and you had Lucas
say it for you. Not Okay, this is a this
is one of those you're walking on like a tight
rope kind of thing. See how it goes, and you
just gotta if you really want to put in the effort,
which I see, it's it seems like Opie does want
to do Yeah, he's like Opie's trying to give him.

(01:03:08):
I guess one more chance, but I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:03:11):
We'll see. I did say that maybe it's not best
we be together in between now and how he feels
as though he's had enough individual therapy to be ready
for the couple's therapy. He got very emotional and said
while he understands and respects what I want, he loves
me and doesn't want us to end. He told me
to take all the space I need, asked me not

(01:03:32):
to count this as a breakup. He said he still
wanted to be able to call himself my boyfriend. I'm
pissed his f at him, but the way he phrased
that it was cute. I told him, Okay, no breakup,
but definitely a break. Ground rules for the break. He
brought ground rules up first. He told me that they
don't have to be for me, but he wants to

(01:03:53):
show me that he's sorry and prove that he doesn't
agree at all with what Lucas did. This was his solution.
Give me rules to follow, and I will every day
until I made this up to you.

Speaker 1 (01:04:04):
I don't know now. It's like an ultimatum, and ultimatums
are not great.

Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
Yeah. Number one, no contact with Dean. Two this is
not rass slash Rachel situation. No dating, flirting, sleeping with
anyone else.

Speaker 1 (01:04:17):
On a break.

Speaker 3 (01:04:18):
Three he apologized to his dang mother for texting is okay,
but not like we did before this. No texting multiple
times an hour, no just talking checking in good morning,
good night texts are okay. He came up with one, two,
and four. I told him to apologize to his mom
for almost making her pop a blood vessel in the
Dairy Queen parking lot.

Speaker 1 (01:04:39):
That's good on you.

Speaker 3 (01:04:40):
Lucas. He texted Lucas in front of me, basically just
copy and pasted the message he already planned on sending,
and he added some things. That gist of it is,
I can't believe I went along with this. I can't
believe I let you say that crap about my girlfriend.
Why the F do you even think of her that way?
Don't ever talk to either of us again. Then he
blocked him. He blocked Dean as well, not before calling
him out and sending him the dock link to him

(01:05:02):
and Dean's girlfriend. My request Loo the Kraken boyfriend's mom.
They're talking right now. She's pissed. She was in the
room next to the one we were in, so she
heard most of what was said. He's showing her the
screenshots of the discord and the messages he sent Dean
and Lucas when we first got there. I had to
convince her to let me talk to him first. She
was going to beat his butt LAO. I saw some

(01:05:24):
comments briefly about it being weird that she wanted to
be in the house just in case. So let me explain.
Boyfriend's father was abusive. That was a short story. The
long story short is that he said a lot of
the things that were in the screenshots, and when she
would talk to him about it, he would abuse her.
My boyfriend has never been violent with me or anyone.

(01:05:47):
Mama beartt was just applying her past to the present
situation because she didn't want me to go through what
she did. By the way, you can join us on
your favorite podcast platform if you like to hear stories
that are crazy just like this. Just search up Okay
Storytime on Apple, Spotify, wherever you listen to podcasts. Check
it out. Yeah, I think the boy the mother was

(01:06:07):
just being supportive, was being saved.

Speaker 1 (01:06:09):
No, the mom, well, the mom wanted to be there
because she can't believe what one her son did to
ope and how he's saying all of this stuff, especially
what he's been through and what she's been through, especially
when he's like, my biggest role model is my mom
because she's a singing she was a single mother and

(01:06:30):
she raised me through helen back and she's like a supermom,
So she wants to make sure that's hammered in as
well of one what are you doing? What do you
believe in? So I think the mom was just being
there to make sure everything, even if it wasn't for Op,

(01:06:50):
which it was definitely. She was there for Op. He
was there for her and her son's benefit. So like
she said, mama bearing, so.

Speaker 3 (01:06:59):
Mama bearing for Jerseys. Boyfriend said that he wanted me
there for Thanksgiving. He said he'd be in his room
the whole time so I could spend the holiday with
his mom and her friends. Oh, come on, I said, no,
he should be able to spend the holiday with his family.
He asked me if i'd come for his mom. I said,
I'll think about it. I think that's everything. I don't
know how I feel right now. I'm tired of neverwhelmed.

(01:07:21):
I'll be going to individual therapy as well. I'm waiting
until a boyfriend and his mom get done talking so
she can take me home and I'll probably sleep for
twelve hours. Thank you for the support. Everything today happened
so fast. My head is spinning. These past five hours
felt like fifty.

Speaker 2 (01:07:38):
Hey it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors
that keep the show going.

Speaker 4 (01:07:43):
My aunt demands I give up my baby to my
infertile cousin.

Speaker 2 (01:07:48):
I said no, that's not your baby, jee, That's not
how that works.

Speaker 1 (01:07:53):
No.

Speaker 2 (01:07:53):
I twenty four female.

Speaker 4 (01:07:54):
I'm currently eight months pregnant with the baby girl, and
my aunt slash cousin have been giving me trouble since
I the news. My partner and I already adore our
girl and have no plans to give her up, but
my aunt wants me to give up my child to
my cousin, who has been suffering with fertility for the
past five years.

Speaker 2 (01:08:12):
Ooh, dangay, I mean that's really hard. Does it mean
that she deserves your baby?

Speaker 1 (01:08:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (01:08:17):
Right?

Speaker 2 (01:08:17):
Based on the title.

Speaker 4 (01:08:18):
By the way, this comes from it's everle there on
the Okay storytime sepreddit, so for more context. My aunt
has raised my sister and I as a motherly figure
after our mother passed away when we were very young.
We have been quite close with our aunt slash cousin
throughout our life and have been trying to support my
cousin through her struggles with infertility. My aunt is also

(01:08:39):
very religious, being a Mormon who regularly attends church and
has a very rigid, closed minded view on mortality and
values and living a good life. She believes that a
child deserves a strong foundational religious upbringing with a strong
providing father and a loving, attentive mother. Since my partner
is not Christian, and because we both have full time
jobs and careers, she believed that.

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
My child will grow up confused and misguided.

Speaker 4 (01:09:03):
In our household due to our religious differences, lacking a
proper sense of identity and adequate care. She says she
fears that our child's well being will not be put
first in such an environment and that our kid could
likely go down a.

Speaker 2 (01:09:15):
Dark, immoral path.

Speaker 4 (01:09:16):
According to her, my cousin, who works part time from home,
and her husband are way better able to provide my
child with a loving home with good values and religion.
I have both my aunt and cousin blocked on most
forms of communication, and I have moved to a new
home where they do not know the address. My partner
and I also got married in a private ceremony so
that they wouldn't have control over my medical decisions.

Speaker 2 (01:09:37):
Out of the two, my aunt husband.

Speaker 4 (01:09:38):
More aggressively towards me and even showed up to my
old apartment one day to scream and argue with me
about the situation.

Speaker 2 (01:09:45):
Wo why why?

Speaker 4 (01:09:47):
She in a fake nice tone, tried to get me
to come with her to a cafe near the church
to speak with me about the baby, even when I
told her there's nothing to be discussed and then I'm
keeping the baby.

Speaker 2 (01:09:57):
I spoke with the apartment.

Speaker 4 (01:09:58):
Manager and had to hide until she she left after
half an hour. My aunt also has her church friends
after me. Oh boy, my god, they set.

Speaker 2 (01:10:06):
The whole tad on you, right.

Speaker 4 (01:10:08):
They sometimes regularly send me hostiles text messages and coy smails.
My cousin has been on the quieter side towards me,
and has been struggling with depression and trauma from her
latest pregnancy last year, ending in a still birth of
her baby after pre term labor at thirty weeks.

Speaker 2 (01:10:23):
Oh that's I mean, like this is so hard, because
like this person is going through something really really difficult, right,
and everyone's making it about like, you know, silly, stupid things.

Speaker 4 (01:10:36):
She has been regularly posting on social media and has
joined motherhood related groups. I've heard through the gossip that
she's trying to get a baby through those groups and
has been banned from a considerable amount of them. To
her dismay, she had been harassing young moms and widows
for their babies oh.

Speaker 2 (01:10:53):
Oh, whoa, what the heck? You are also not a
good person, it's saying, insane.

Speaker 4 (01:10:58):
Yeah, my cousin is desperate for a baby to fix
her family and is apparently waiting for my name to
give birth. She from my baby girl, who she apparently
sees is her own late baby in.

Speaker 2 (01:11:11):
She needs massive amounts of therapy. Yes, this is clearly
like a psychotic break much bigger issues. This is like,
this is the loss of you're going through loss of
your child, and your mind is filling in with like
he's replacing it like the baby wherever it can. Yeah,
and this is just not Yeah, this is therapy need

(01:11:33):
like very very much.

Speaker 4 (01:11:36):
My aunt and her are apparently sure that I will
be overwhelmed with my decision and the responsibilities with motherhood,
that I will give up slash give more to my
baby by letting my cousin and her husband adopt her.

Speaker 2 (01:11:49):
This is insane. I really quick cannot imagine. I just
can't understand the aunt and the husband entertaining the these
thoughts of a clearly just devastated woman just clearly like
having a mental breakdown, right, and they're just letting it.

(01:12:11):
They're just like encouraging it.

Speaker 4 (01:12:13):
My aunt says that giving my baby to my cousin
it shouldn't be as hard as it could because we
are family and I could have a baby later on
as I'm still young and have plans to attend grad school.

Speaker 2 (01:12:24):
After working for a while. This justification is just like okay, sure,
but like it's a crazy baby. These are crazy people.

Speaker 4 (01:12:31):
Yes, you get an attachment to your baby when it's
inside of you growing, and you don't want to just
give that up just because like, oh yeah, I can
just have another one.

Speaker 2 (01:12:39):
Yeah, I just like I gotta make the decision of
course to give up their baby, and that is a
personal decision right that no one else can say, hey,
just do it. This is like other ringing out the
stories where people are like, just give me the money
you have extra exactly. And if you can't just.

Speaker 6 (01:12:53):
Say give me a baby, you can have another, you
have another because then too, like you go through so
much when you're pregnant, yes, and you can't like that
it's something that you have pregnancy with like beforehand, be
like a surrogate or something like that.

Speaker 2 (01:13:05):
Yeah, there is a whole big process about sergucy. Yes,
you can't just be like, hey, you went had a baby.
I'll take it right too. Right. This is not like
a Rumpels stilt skin situation exactly. I just have her
first born.

Speaker 4 (01:13:17):
My cousin also apparently wants to get into contact as
we had before my pregnancy. I will not be speaking
to her again until after I give birth, to see
where she is then to prevent further stress during my pregnancy.
I have been very supportive of her through her infertrinity
journey and generally liked her more than my aunt growing up.
But her behavior and thinking have shocked me and are

(01:13:37):
making me fear for my safety. I am planning a
big wedding party for next year since my partner and
I privately got married this year, and I am not
sure if my cousin or aunt.

Speaker 2 (01:13:46):
Would be invited or able to come. Don't invite them, yeah,
I would not want to invite these people to anything,
leave them mad of it.

Speaker 4 (01:13:53):
I have a lot of family support from both sides
right now, apart from those who are close to them
and on their side, but I am not sure if
that support will be as strong in a year, and
what my relationship with my aunt or cousin will be then.
I have skipped some family events that I know they
will be at, but I don't want to miss out
on those family gatherings and fun forever. I'm not sure
how the future will look like with my aunt and

(01:14:14):
cousin after my baby and the issues that arise with that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:18):
Any support would be appreciated. And there is an update.
Wooo should we just jump right and just jump in,
just do it? Update? This will be a small update.

Speaker 4 (01:14:29):
We got in contact with the local church leader and
talk to them about the situation with my aunt and cousin,
who are both active members. We talked to him for
a while. He initially dismissed my concerns as personal conflict
between family and tried to refer us over to counseling services.
We explained to him that my cousin is dealing with
trauma from her baby's death and that she is having
false hopes about adopting my baby, which would be raised

(01:14:50):
in a good home. We also told him that my
aunt is feeding into those hopes and has been harassing
me on her behalf, causing disturbance and a lot of stress.
He told me he understood my and that he knew
what my cousin has been going through with her inability
to have kids. He said that he would contact my
aunt and cousin to see what they have to say
about the situation.

Speaker 2 (01:15:08):
I talked with him again today.

Speaker 4 (01:15:10):
He said that my aunt and cousin would like to
speak with me, and that they were concerned that I
stopped communicating with them, especially since I moved away.

Speaker 2 (01:15:19):
They're probably just concerned, like, what are you like a baby?

Speaker 4 (01:15:23):
Are you okay in your pregnancy so that my baby
can be healthy as well. I explained to him that
their behavior regarding my baby influenced me to do these
things and pressed him on what they said. He said
that my cousin had talked with the church therapist and
was looking into adoption to start a family because her
I VF treatments were likely not going to produce a
child with her condition. I emphasized to him that I

(01:15:44):
was not giving up my baby and that my cousin
had been thinking such. He said that he understood that
and started asking me for personal details on how I
was doing now. He was again trying to set up
a meeting between us and my aunt and cousin, referring
us to services. I told him I was not comfortable
with that at the moment, and he told me to
at least call my cousin once. He said he will
meet with my aunt on Sunday, since I was too

(01:16:06):
scared to do it on my own.

Speaker 2 (01:16:07):
Girl, girl, mister pastor man, curly curlye, what are you
talking about? Too scared? My guy? He's like, he's like,
oh my god, they keep bringing these problems on me.
Deal with it on your own, Jesus, fix it for you,
doctor Jesus exactly. Our call ended.

Speaker 4 (01:16:28):
After that, I'll comment any update on what he says
in the coming days under this post edits.

Speaker 2 (01:16:34):
I'll also edit this post.

Speaker 4 (01:16:35):
To make the update easier to find, since I don't
want to create a whole different post on it.

Speaker 2 (01:16:39):
Another edit.

Speaker 4 (01:16:40):
I'm not satisfied with his response and do not like
that he is putting pressure on me with reconnecting with
my aunt and cousin. He says he understands my concerns,
but I think he's being rather dismissive of them and
trying to force.

Speaker 2 (01:16:51):
Us to resolve our issues. Yeah, it seems like he
just thinks this is He's like, oh, it's just a
family thing. Whatever, Just say you're sorry or whatever, right,
And he's like no, trying to take my child take
my child.

Speaker 4 (01:17:06):
Yeah, that's a big issue, especially since they're like relating
it to religious things. Yes, it's exactly using religious reasons. Yeah,
like maybe he can talk some sense into them. You're
using religious reasons as well.

Speaker 2 (01:17:18):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:17:19):
My partner and I thought that it was worth a
short reaching out to him because he has influence and
religious authority over my aunt and cousin. Exactly, I'll see
what he says on the next phone call and see
what I can do to make him care more. Another
edits to make it clear, I didn't give him any
personal information and have no plans for any in person
meeting with my aunt and cousin. We are in contact
with legal help, and we do not live in Utah.

(01:17:41):
Just to make me clear, I get like, might be
moments in Utah. They have to be in Utah in
the moments.

Speaker 2 (01:17:48):
There is another updates. We spoke again with the bishop.

Speaker 4 (01:17:52):
He said that there isn't much he can personally do
to resolve the situation within his capacity between me and
my aunt cousin, other than to for them to counseling services.

Speaker 2 (01:18:02):
Okay, okay, that's like not truth. Obviously, you can't force
them to do anything, but you can still talk like
part of that, part of the role of a religious
leader is to offer counsel That's kind of the thing.
It's like, that's why you're there, that's why we have
I mean, at least I'm relating this to the Catholic Church,
but that's like, yeah, you have confession to talk to

(01:18:24):
a pastor or like well, to talk to a priest. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:18:28):
And maybe since they're like Mormon, maybe it's like different
tools because if they have like a church counselor, then
maybe it runs a little differently. But still it's also like,
like I.

Speaker 2 (01:18:39):
Feel like at least counseling would be like.

Speaker 4 (01:18:42):
More stuff in conversation with them, Like if counseling was
like the right thing to do in this situation, it
would probably be more effective. But it doesn't seem like
it is, because I think they went to counseling. So
I asked him if he did meet with my aunt,
and he said he did. Their conversation was apparently focused
on my cousin and helping her heal. He told me
that my cousin was also grieving the loss of communication
with me and my sister, who hasn't been talking to

(01:19:02):
her much anymore. I told him that my cousin was
trying to take my baby to replace hers, and that
her and my aunt's behavior was threatening the safety and
well being of me and my family. I think he
was losing interest in the conversation, so he just told
me to do whatever I feel is that's for my family,
but to consider the grief my cousin has been through
and contact family counseling services for further help on this matter.

Speaker 2 (01:19:23):
This is me son. He's like, Okay, gus, go talk
to someone else.

Speaker 4 (01:19:32):
Yeah, that's crazy. I really I wonder too, Like, I
just can't imagine if this was brought up in their
counseling or if he didn't want to bring it up
or something, or if it was brought up, then maybe
he just like, yeah, there's no saving that.

Speaker 2 (01:19:44):
I can't help you like an issue an ish me.
There you go.

Speaker 4 (01:19:49):
Me and my partner sent him an email afterwards with
a copy to our lawyer to close off communication. I
decided to unblock my cousin and send her a message.
I told her that my partner and I are keeping
our baby and that is not up for discussion. I
encouraged her to seek proper therapy if she hasn't already
done so, and told her that I am not comfortable
with her, her husband, or my aunt being involved in
my child's life. She hasn't responded yet. Regardless of what

(01:20:11):
she says, our relationship will not return to as it
was before and she will not be a part of
my child's life. And there is another update five months later.

Speaker 2 (01:20:23):
Five months later, here's the update everyone has been waiting for.

Speaker 4 (01:20:28):
I was busy in the last few months with the
birth and projects I have been working on as I
recover from birth and take care of my new baby.

Speaker 2 (01:20:35):
I logged inter redded a few times since then, but
haven't gotten a chance to update.

Speaker 4 (01:20:38):
I am now twenty five and my baby is almost
four months old.

Speaker 2 (01:20:42):
Time flies woo. She's doing well and brings us so
much joy. I love going on walks with her and
she's growing up so fast. Love it. I am planning
to go back to work soon, looking for a new job.
Thank you all for the.

Speaker 4 (01:20:54):
Concern and well wishes, and I hope everyone is having
a great time during the Thanksgiving holiday season. Now the
date that everyone is looking forward to. My cousin and
my aunt. Since my last update, my cousin and my
aunt were silent for a while, and my cousin didn't
respond to my text. In August, my aunt reached out
to me through a new number and asked me how
I was and if I had the baby yet.

Speaker 2 (01:21:16):
We talked.

Speaker 4 (01:21:16):
She was concerned about mine and my baby as well
being since I distanced myself from a lot of my
family and had to leave my job. I asked about
my cousin. She says that they've been trying to adopt
a baby through their church connections, but nothing has been
successful so far because they probably just started on that
also through the church connections. Does that mean like there's

(01:21:37):
people in the church that are giving up their children
for adoption, or they know people, or does it mean
that they see other pregnant people in the church and
I'm just like, hey, he can have your baby, you can, Hey, hey,
are you gonna Are you gonna have that? Someone is
finishings like, are you gonna fish fish that?

Speaker 2 (01:21:56):
Are you gonna are you either gonna take care of
that take care of that baby. I'll take you. I'll
take it if you don't want it. That's That's what
I'm gonna guess, is their connections.

Speaker 4 (01:22:05):
I asked about whether they consulted with the proper adoption agency,
but my aunt said that my cousin's husbands passed may
become a problem.

Speaker 2 (01:22:12):
Didn't know about that. Well, they said earlier that she'd
been denied by a bunch of agencies. Oh, I forgot
about that. Do we know what his past is? I
don't know. If we've heard about that mafia. I think
you got it, the Mormon mafia. The more, the more mafia.

Speaker 4 (01:22:29):
And she proceeded to rant about how the white birth
rate is dropping and how people were actively denying themselves parenthood.

Speaker 2 (01:22:38):
Okay, oh, don't like that. Don't like that one bit.
Oh boy, I don't know to say about that.

Speaker 4 (01:22:50):
She asked me if I still wanted the baby, and
got angry about nine month terminations. She is pro life
without exceptions. Oh my god, Oh so that's the denying
their own pregnant.

Speaker 2 (01:23:00):
Yeah, is this like when when like pro lifers are like, oh,
like there's all these terminations happening, like right before the
baby is born, which is that's just birth? That is
just birth? Is that like what they do with the
statistics or something. Yeah, they're like, yeah, like all of
these babies are getting terminated, like at nine months. I'm like,

(01:23:23):
that's just birth, baby, girl, Like, that's just birth.

Speaker 4 (01:23:26):
But also too in this case, like of these people,
still births also happened.

Speaker 2 (01:23:31):
Yes, I mean also that there are a lot of
different reasons why pregnancy cannot come to term exactly.

Speaker 4 (01:23:40):
I reaffirmed to her that I did, and she talked
about how my cousin was getting old.

Speaker 2 (01:23:45):
But she's in her early thirties. I'm wondering when they're gonna,
like what's the timeline for them? Not asking are you
still having the baby?

Speaker 3 (01:23:54):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:23:55):
Really?

Speaker 2 (01:23:55):
How old is that? Maybe four months? Like is it
like eighteen? And they're like, hey, don't have that baby still?
Like is this like the baby for eighteen years? Could
I keep going on my turn? Like you've had it
long enough, you let's switch. Let's just like trade off, right,
you take it every two years, I take it every
three years. It's fine. But she's in her early thirties

(01:24:15):
and that her nest is still empty.

Speaker 4 (01:24:18):
She wanted me to at least share the joy and
let me cousin and let my cousin.

Speaker 2 (01:24:24):
Ye meet my daughter's life, let me cousin, Let me
be in my daughter's life and spend time with her.

Speaker 4 (01:24:30):
I told her that that would not be possible due
to their past behavior. I fear that my cousin would
try to become her mother and let her delusions get
her again, absolutely, or kidnap her chase.

Speaker 2 (01:24:39):
Yes, I feel like that is a lot of a
very dangerous things about letting her be around your kid. Absolutely.

Speaker 4 (01:24:44):
My aunt said that my cousin was trying to become
better and got some church counseling. I still told her no.
She then asked me if I knew anyone or any
resources to adopt a baby. I told her I didn't,
and then my cousin and her husband should be careful
and patient with trying to be come parents. My aunt
emphasized how becoming parents was important to my cousin and
her husband because they deserves children at this point.

Speaker 2 (01:25:08):
And for deserves children.

Speaker 4 (01:25:10):
Yeah, I don't know what that means, Like, like are
you saying, op, he doesn't deserve so the child, like
having a child is not for you, the like you
as a parent are like are there for the child right?

Speaker 2 (01:25:22):
Nail way around? Right? And for their reputation? Oh my god?

Speaker 4 (01:25:26):
Whoa they deserve children at this point and for the
reputation since everyone around them is reaching the parenthood milestone.

Speaker 2 (01:25:33):
Girl, you're like everyone else is having one. I want
one one fair. I get it that you can't, and
that's that breaking. It is really sad like this. Yeah,
you can't.

Speaker 4 (01:25:46):
You can't just react with this and just expect her
to give you a baby.

Speaker 2 (01:25:51):
You can't cheap, cheap trying to steal babies. Stop it
because it's like, well then what about them? Yeah, well no,
they don't have a baby. They don't deserve a baby. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 (01:26:00):
She asked about my future family plans and pushed me
on when I'm going to get pregnant again.

Speaker 2 (01:26:04):
Or have my next child? Girl, girl, can of this one?
Can of any of the other ones?

Speaker 4 (01:26:09):
Unless you like pay me to be a surrogate me
being OPI Yeah. She told me family planning was important,
especially after this surprise pregnancy, and asked if they could
be involved next time, involved in the pregnancy. You want
to be there when it's concealed.

Speaker 2 (01:26:23):
If it was meire like, we'll just be in the background.
We wouldn't have been making noise.

Speaker 4 (01:26:28):
Yeah, you won't even know where they're As the call
went on, more and more of her past and unusual
behavior became a parent and I was getting tired of it.
I wanted to end the call, but she ended it
first because she had some activity.

Speaker 2 (01:26:41):
I really hope that she gets helped, though, like truthfully, like,
yes'm this is sam much she needs. This is sal help. Yeah,
because she has gone through like a really traumatic experience
and like incredible losses and has come out of it
just just not well health. And she has these people
encouraging her to these crazy ideas. Yeah, and it's I

(01:27:02):
really hope she gets help.

Speaker 4 (01:27:03):
Thankfully, I have my sister to keep me in the
loop with what's happening with my aunt and cousin and
other matters regarding my family and my old church. Everything
my aunt said was apparently true about my cousin. According
to my sister, my cousin's overall mental health seems to
have improved from her worst, but she still has her
deep depressive periods.

Speaker 2 (01:27:20):
I mean, until she stops asking for your child, I
think you can assume that she's not doing great. She
sometimes feels very empty with her lack of children and
her worstened relationships with me and my sister. That could
be true, And I mean, I'm sure that that's something
that should be looked at. Yeah, because that is a
very I mean, that's a very common feeling for women

(01:27:40):
who lose children, yeah, and or who can't have children.
And like, it's totally understandable to be sad and depressed
and to have that jealousy even or longing, but when
it comes to a point like this, you.

Speaker 4 (01:27:56):
Can't react in this way. And it's also like hard
because she obviously can and see that. Like the worst
in relationships with me and my sister is Yeah, these
like unhealthy reactions.

Speaker 2 (01:28:08):
The thing is that if she was like reacting better,
she'd probably be able to be around these kids. Yeah,
we should probably be able to have a relationship with
these kids. And yet she's in trying to pull them
closer to her, she's pushing further away. So maybe we
can like explain that. Yeah, it's like, yeah, I want,
like I want you to be around the kids, but
you can't keep trying to take them.

Speaker 4 (01:28:30):
Right, right, But we always want you to be around us.
All you have to do is listen to episodes just
like this one on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or your favorite
podcast app.

Speaker 2 (01:28:44):
Just search.

Speaker 4 (01:28:45):
Okay, storytime, We'll always do that, but there is a
little bit more. My cousin and her husband are also
trying to find an IVF doctor abroad in hopes of
a miracle, since a lot of their options are shutting
down here. My cousin apparently still views my baby as
something she lost interesting, but she believes God will give

(01:29:08):
her kids soon and has been trying to get her
sins forgiven. We are skipping Thanksgiving with my side of
the family in a few days for obvious reasons. I
am going back to the workforce soon, likely after all
the holidays. I have my childcare arrangements ready with all
the necessary precautions, and the future is looking good overall. Again,
thank you all for your support and let me know

(01:29:28):
if you have any questions about anything Mormonism, my family, motherhood, etc.

Speaker 2 (01:29:33):
And that is the end of the story.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My wife called out my sister’s TOXIC boyfriend… now the family is falling apart! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2072