My wife CHEATED and now wants an Open Marriage! | Reddit Stories | EP2268 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is aam.

Speaker 2 (00:00):
This is John, your og Okay story Time podcast host,
and we got.

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Some delicious, juicy stories coming up.

Speaker 3 (00:06):
But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,
just stick around for a two minute break with a
word from our sponsors.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
My wife cheated and now wants an open marriage.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Just looking at her options here.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
So, my wife female thirty and I'm male thirty three
have been married.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
For eight years now.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
We had a fair bit of ups and downs during
our marriage. Five years ago I found out that my
wife had cheated on me with the man she knew
from Tinder.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
It's already happened three.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Years ago or five years ago? Did it happen?

Speaker 2 (00:36):
This is five years ago? Oh?

Speaker 3 (00:38):
This three years into the relationship marriage. She told me
that after they hooked up three times or so. By
the way, this comes from Soggy Ride nine oh one
three And if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay story Time severed it.
So first, I was shocked and wanted to divorce because
cheating is a no go for me.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
Oh well, but she told me how sorry.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
She was and that she only loves me and she
was really trying her best to show me that I
can trust her again, and I did.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Dude, Oh pe, you got oh vaginomanized? Oh yeah, I know,
I understand because she uses her.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
Now my mantroduced to you. My wife's best friend, Chris
Male thirty one.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Best friend, bez friend wink wink bezrunk wink winkink.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
They've known each other for fifteen years or so, and
whenever we had issues, she always ran to him.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
To ah.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
Chris is single. He has had some relationships, but it
never lasted that long. I know he has feelings for
my wife. Dude, come on, we can't be this blind.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
We can't be It's always going on long rides Lord
at night, and sometimes she's Chris.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
He is always telling me that he wants a girlfriend
that is just like my wife.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Oh oh, and keeps telling her that I did not
deserve her.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
Oh, this is at your friend, This is not your friend. Open.
I want someone that's just like your wife, more like
I want your wife. Take out a few of those
words there.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
I never thought much about it because in my head
Chris is like a boot liquor, and I never thought
that he had a chance at my wife.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
Girl brother, my guy sir, anyone has a chance at
your wife sounds like it.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Do give about anybody a chance.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
Fast forwards. Six months ago, we again had our ups
and downs, and my wife shocked me with the suggestion
of opening up our marriage. She's already opened it up,
it's been open. I was shocked and immediately told her
that I didn't want that. At this point, we did
not have spicy sleep for like eight months or so.
Well she had spicy sleep.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
I can assure you you didn't have.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
She was never in the mood, and after trying many
times to have spicy sleep with her, I just kind
of stopped because I didn't want to push her. I
love spicy sleep, and being spiceless for eight months made
me really unhappy. So the more I thought about her suggestion,
the more I wanted to try it out.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
So I agreed, Oh, this is a trap in a tactic.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
She was baffled at first, but in the end we
both agreed and made up some rules which involved there
are no feelings involved, either from us or the person.
We have spicy sleep with no spicy sleep in our apartment.
We tell each other when we have spicy sleep with
someone else. We always use protection I have a coworker
of female twenty eight. Let's call her Sarah. She is

(03:33):
a very flirtatious girl, and I always thought she was
a bit into me. One night, after our shift ended,
we walked to the bus stop together and I told
her about the open marriage thing. She was immediately all
her ears and was very interested. She joked about that
if I wanted to shoot my shot, I could always
ask her, so I did. I told her about the
rules and the feelings thing. She made it very clear

(03:54):
that she finds me spicily attractive, but that there are
no feelings.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
Well usually developed later.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
No, she just wants a new ride.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
The next day, I talked to my wife about my
coworker and she told me I can go for it.
Some days later, I went to Sarah's place and we
had spicy sleep. It felt good, but it was not
the same feeling as having spicy sleep with my wife.
The following days, my wife was really quiet and we
did not talk at all.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
Wow, it didn't work.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Didn't see that coming. I knew something was wrong, so
I confronted her. I thought maybe it was because of
me having spicy sleep with Sarah. Oh boy, was I wrong?
She told me that Chris and her had had spicy sleep.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Oh interesting, don't we have like a rule rules about.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
That, don't We have like four rules? And one of
them is just tell me before you have spicy sleep
with someone.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
And is it the other rule that you don't have
any kind of emotional connection to them?

Speaker 3 (04:50):
Wow, you got two out of the four in one goat.
After hearing this, Ifing screamed at her and we got
into a huge fight. Not only did she break the
rule of not telling me when she had spicy sleep
with someone else, she also broke the first rule about
the feelings. Her excuse was that we never made clear
when we should tell each other when we have spicy

(05:11):
sleep with someone else before it is happening her afterwards, girl,
get too come on. But what really tipped me off
was that she was trying to convince me that Chris
had no feelings for her. I mean, Chris basically told
op that he had feelings for his wife in her eyes.
I was overreacting way too much. I did not talk

(05:32):
to her for two days now, and I'm staying at
a friend's house. At the moment. In my head, I
keep thinking that Chris is somehow manipulating her, so she
separates from me. So am I the ale? And there
is an edit and an update.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
Dude, Chris doesn't have to do a single thing.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
I saw a meme a while ago where it's like,
how other dudes be talking to your girlfriend? And the
dude's like, he's manipulating you. He's said that to you,
but you did nothing wrong. How could you let him
do that to you?

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Exactly?

Speaker 1 (06:07):
And then it's like and the girlfriend's like, hey, baby,
we should talk about a few things. And the guy's like, oh, like,
let's talk, but just getting worm tongued over there.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
Getting worm tungued?

Speaker 1 (06:17):
Get it?

Speaker 3 (06:18):
I do yeah, man, Lord of the Rings, Lord of
the Rings reference man. Oh p, Chris really didn't have
to do much.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
She already cheated on you.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
He was lying this up for more.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
Come on, she's been lining this up about maybe fifteen years.
Edit seems like I'm a boot liquor myself.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
Oh the irony.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
And there's an update. Thanks to all the harsh comments
calling me a witch, idiot, doramat, et cetera. It really
made me realize what an effing loser I am.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Bro, It's okay, you had no one else to talk
to because your wife want over open marriage, and your
friend Chris wanted to have an open marriage with your wife.
She just didn't have anyone to bounce good ideas off of.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
Yeah, and I got an update. And I'm also answering
some questions. Yes, my wife is fairly attractive. I heard
that from colleagues on multiple occasions. Use that pilates yoga
fitness type woman. She's got a front airbag job six
years ago, which I paid for elmail. This is one
year before she cheated.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
By the way, if you pay for you get to
play with it. Okay, those are the rules.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
WHOA Okay, but come on, no, I think it's funny
that OP bought this you know, enhancement, enhancement or whatever,
and then a year after that she cheated.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
Like that's what my money is going to, you cheating
on me?

Speaker 4 (07:37):
If?

Speaker 1 (07:38):
Okay? So like, for example, if Angelina pays for my
what not to get extended, guess who gets to gets
the extension as well. I don't think no one else
gets the extension.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
I don't think you had to give an example.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
I'm just giving this an example in a in a
female's world, okay, not just the man.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
It is just like, you know, consent is still like
a thing. Yeah, you don't own it just because you
pay for it. But I know that's not what you meant.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
Dude. If we're in a okay, if we're in a marriage,
and you pay for that enhancement for me, no one
else should get it.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
Yes, that no one else should do.

Speaker 1 (08:15):
I'm dying this hill. If you pay for you get
to play with it. I think don't care.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
I think the hill is that you shouldn't cheat on
your partner.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
Yes, and especially it's sort of like give it. Here
we go, Here we go, here we go. Oh no,
Andi needs a kidney, I give her one of mine
and then she cheats on me.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
Messed up?

Speaker 1 (08:35):
Even that's that's the same thing as this.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
That's yeah, nice but brown hair, green eyes.

Speaker 4 (08:42):
Me.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
On the other hand, I'm fairly average looking besides my
height and physique.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
I don't have anything else going for.

Speaker 3 (08:48):
Because of my wife's fitness addiction, I got into it
as well, and as a result.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Got pretty jacked bitten. This d in her mouth addiction.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
More like, oh boy, we need a on From this story,
my best friend and I came to the conclusion that
she's only with me for financial security. Yeah, I mean
you paid for her her front airbag job. She's getting
financial security from you. I got a solid education, well
paying job. Plus my parents are wealthy. You have that

(09:17):
generational wealth. My wife has not been working for three
years or so. I was also planning on buying a
house this year. Yes, I think so too. That my
wife had spicy sleep with Chris and probably other men
before the incident.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
Oh my god, she's doing to herself. She's not working.
She's over there canodling brand new front airbags with everybody.

Speaker 3 (09:41):
Uh huh, let's go to the update. However, I am
still at my friend's place. In my mind, this marriage
is over and I'm filing for divorce.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Good.

Speaker 3 (09:49):
I tried to tell her that yesterday over the phone,
but she was not answering my calls for three hours
or so, so I sent her a text before going
to bed, telling her that it's probably the best to
separate and that I want a file divorce.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
I think you should call Chris instead.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
He might Yeah, she might be with him.

Speaker 3 (10:04):
I woke up to an excess of messages. She was
angry at me at first, but shifted to apologizing and
wanting to work things out. We agreed on seeing each
other today, So the next up date will probably be
the last one. But there is a little bit left
to this story. But do you have any final relevant thoughts.

Speaker 1 (10:22):
I'm gonna read this comment Kimberly Fine says fo Riley.
That can take a weird turn. Had a boss who
got his wife big old biddies tattooed on his back
because I paid for him, so I get to keep him.
Failed to see the law in his logic that he
can't see him.

Speaker 2 (10:42):
He got them tattooed on his back, so we can't
see the tig old biddies. That's silly, man. You look
into a mirror or something.

Speaker 3 (10:51):
Had a boss, you got it, So basically he got
his wife's like a tattoo of his wife's front airbags.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
On his back so he couldn't even see them. Really man.

Speaker 3 (11:03):
But there's a second update, folks. Yeah, I think leaving
your partner. Honestly should have left her after she cheated
on you the first time, definitely should have left her
after she asked about the open marriage, and certainly should
have left her now. But there's a second update, folks.
This will probably be my last update. I just had
lunch with my wife, and it was blatantly obvious how
she was trying to manipulate me again. She confessed everything

(11:26):
her and Chris had Spiceslye for over a year now.
She started crying and how it's ol her fault and
now she wants to get back with me. However, I've
had enough of this. I told her that I'm going
to file for divorce and left her crying at the restaurant. Meanwhile,
I've already made arrangements with our family lawyer. I'm staying
at my dad's place for a couple of days so

(11:46):
things can cool off a bit. He's very supportive and
is actively helping me with the divorce. And some top
comments deleted says, what do you even see in your wife?
You sound like roommates that just argue all the time.
She's dude, we already know. Oh, He says, she was
very loving and caring and hot, and that's why I

(12:07):
married her. We were planning to have kids. I don't
know what has changed, Honestly, I was the guy who
always tried to rekindle our relationship, but maybe she's just
not into me anymore. My parents got divorced when I
was nine and it really hit me. So I always
wanted to make it better, but at this point a
divorce might be the best option. I don't want to
bring up any kids in a relationship like this. Ring

(12:29):
Card says, a single guy telling the husband that he
doesn't deserve her is a deal breaker. If they're willing
to stay that out loud to the husband's face, they
are announcing that they don't recognize the boundaries of your marriage,
and the only thing stopping them is the right opportunity.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
I think, all you don't deserve her in a joking matter. Sure,
but I want someone that's just like your wife. You're
not my friend, not get.

Speaker 3 (12:52):
Well, I don't think they were friends. I think Chris
and his wife were friends.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
Oh but even so, I'm probably gonna be like, yeah, wife,
what he's doing? No, you guys can't be friends. Yeah friends,
what are you doing?

Speaker 3 (13:03):
Opie says, reading your comment made me realize what an
effing prick that guy actually is.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
You're totally right. Obviously, obviously he was the.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
One that did this, He made this happen.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
Father's Gravey says, my guy, will you please have some
self respect and leave this woman? This is some of
the most ridiculous crap I've read. She cheated on you
multiple times. Open the marriage up because she doesn't find
you attractive and that doesn't even follow the rules.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
She doesn't respect you.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
Digital Drew says, ugree, divorce this woman before she has
a chance to get pregnant, and all three of you
wind up on Maury for some DNA results. Just that
Guy twelve twelve says, let's be honest, your wife opened
up the relationship just to.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
Sleep with Chris.

Speaker 3 (13:46):
We all know that if she hadn't already slept with Chris.
Wasted Aquarium says she opened it up because she was
already effing and Chris Bhla says, your wife's been banging
Chris for at least eight months. Get out agreed, I
honestly agree with that islander In nineteen eighty one, sixteen
says I never get these scenarios. I need someone to
make it make sense. Did they like realize after fifteen

(14:08):
years now they want to sleep with each other? In
my opinion, that is what a romantic relationship is. Best
friends at f Why didn't they get together over the
previous freaking fifteen years, long before Ope was in the picture.
Moz is no more, says Chris is probably a crappy boyfriend,
which is why you can't keep a relationship. But he's
up pipe player, so the wife keeps him around. Always

(14:29):
need a plumber, always need a plumber. Man, Oh man, yikes, dude, yikes.
You know, be very aware when someone cheats on you,
that's probably not gonna work out. Sometimes it can sometimes yeah,
but uh, yikes, man, this one wasn't gonna work out.

Speaker 1 (14:46):
That one was not gonna work out whatsoever. And oh man,
that would hurt guys. What do you guys think if
you pay for enhancements, do you get to play with
them consentially? Of course? Mean okay, hear me out. If
you are essentially if you're getting if someone's like, oh
you get the enhancements, the considentual he is already there.

(15:07):
The consent is already there. Automatically, the consent is already there.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
That's false bad.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
What do you mean, no, that work? What if someone
did a relationship and they're like, I want enhancements and
you pay for them, the content is already there. They
wanted them, they wanted it.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
Not there. Having the work done is yes, right, here.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
We go, Here we go. Here we go. You, we're
in a relationship, we're married. You come to me and
you're like, hey, babe, I need a B B L.
And I'm like, what in the world why do you
need BBL You basically already have one. But we come
to the conclusion and I'm like, okay, I'll buy you
a B B L. The consent is already there because
you wanted in the first one.

Speaker 3 (15:41):
No, But then ev Andrew says, don't touch me.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
You a relationship, Yeah, okay, consents not the issue in
this part.

Speaker 4 (15:50):
Okay, So okay, I know the jokes that you're trying
to make understand, and I understand that you you you
know that in your head, consents already there.

Speaker 2 (15:59):
We're just clarifying people.

Speaker 3 (16:01):
Online viewers that Riley is saying with consent, Yes, that's
what we're saying.

Speaker 2 (16:07):
We're just trying to see you.

Speaker 1 (16:09):
At it added in there. I'm just thinking that this
is already a married couple. Yes, in marriage is already there.

Speaker 3 (16:17):
You still got to have active enthusiastic consent in marriage,
any relationship always have enthusians cons.

Speaker 4 (16:24):
And Riley knows that guy, he knows that right right now,
he's just really excited about I don't.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
Think we had ad We just put in parentheses at
the very small and the bottom consent is already needed. Yes, okay, great,
because I want that to be a thing if you
pay for when you get to play with them essentially
at the bottom there.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
But there's a little bit, there's no there's no more left.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
Let me get.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
Or another story. My new coworker makes me want to end.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
My marriage is so hot in the way they work hard.

Speaker 4 (16:59):
I feel have been married to my husband, Mail thirty
six for two years after dating for two He is
my soulmates. He is the best person I know and
we have a great relationship. Unfortunately, bedroom Fun is quite bland.
His libido is much lower than mine. But this has
been okay for me so far because I love this
man so much. By the way, this comes from a
shiny bus. And if you want to submit your own stories,

(17:21):
go to the r slash Okay story time, it's Sepreddit.
So I had only one boyfriend before him, with whom
I've lived for four years. Bedroom Fun was much better
with him, but I broke up with him because he
didn't want to get married and I did. About one
year ago. A new guy, Mail twenty four joined the
company where I work. I met him the week he
started and found him quite attractive, but didn't think too

(17:43):
much of it.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
Oh boy.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
We started working back.

Speaker 4 (17:45):
In the office in January this year, and I've had
lunch with him every day as well as other coworkers.
He has a great personality and we have a lot
in common. Sometimes we look at each other and break
eye contact after it gets a bit too much.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
I would never do that with a coworker ever.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
You would you see that all the time with Keon.
You can't deny that. I know he's not huge. Just
because he's not here doesn't mean that it didn't exist.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
I have no idea what we're talking about it.

Speaker 4 (18:14):
We talk a lot during lunch, but not much during
work hours. I've been wearing more revealing clothes, and I've
noticed him looking at my chest a couple of times
when no one is watching, and then we smile at
each other. It has become a game for us. Now,
Oh my gosh, this is so spicy.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
She's trying to cheat.

Speaker 2 (18:33):
She's married.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
I'm terribly I didn't no, Yeah, I didn't hear that part.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
I was eating.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
Yeah, she's she's terrible.

Speaker 4 (18:45):
It would fun if they were, you know, not being
like cheaters that suck.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yeah, come on, man, And.

Speaker 1 (18:55):
Like, it wouldn't be this bad if you didn't describe
your husband as your soul mate.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
I mean, it so would be pretty pretty bad.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
No, but I mean if it was like my husband
doesn't really you know, like anyway he's bad. Like it's like, okay,
divorce and then get with someone else. Right, But but yeah,
mat like this, you have so many feelings involved with
your husband. Why are you like, I don't know, she's honestly,

(19:26):
I think this is just a lust thing, like she's
find and she wants that physical connection where she already
has an emotional like uh.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
Thing the excitement over here.

Speaker 4 (19:36):
My desk is close to the toilets and there is
no one else in this area except me. Sometimes he
comes to the toilet and looks up at me, and
I bend over to pick something up so he has
a better look into my shirt.

Speaker 2 (19:48):
Today wait, wait, wait wait.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
Did we do Do you guys remember that movie Britain? Yes? Yes,
the cat thing where she goes I do you know
that that's what you're doing? Girl?

Speaker 2 (20:04):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 4 (20:05):
Yeah, but today we kind of crossed the line, and
that is why I'm writing this, of course, because the
line has not been crossed already.

Speaker 2 (20:13):
I've been crossing the whole time.

Speaker 4 (20:14):
No, we were having lunch with other coworkers, but then
they all left and we were sitting alone. We had
the best conversation and I've had in a long time.
We were laughing a lot and just enjoying our time together.
When we finished, we went to throw the trash and
clean the dishes. I was standing in front of the
trash bin when he came and hugged me from behind

(20:34):
at the trash can.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
Because this is trashy.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
Guy, trashy, trashy.

Speaker 4 (20:40):
He placed his arms around my waist and his head
on my shoulder. I was wearing a shirt that shows
a lot of cleavage, and I'm sure he was looking
at my chest. During this time, I felt a mix
of this weird adrenaline and arousal, as well as some panic.
I am a married woman, and I know this was
not okay. It would break my heart to know my
husband would hug another word like this.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
This suck. Oh my heavens.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
Girl, reality, you're already cheating, You're already changing the way
you look so another man can look at you. You're
already doing activities and actions so another man can look
at you. We've already crossed this line, wi you.

Speaker 4 (21:16):
I've already crossed this line. It's you've just crossed the
line into self awareness.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
That's where we're at and is now become physical.

Speaker 3 (21:23):
Yeah, well I think before Ope, he was like, oh,
it's just a fantasy, it's not anything real, But now
it is.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
Yeah, exactly like I don't. I'm not really wearing revealing
clothes just for him, am I? Just for me?

Speaker 1 (21:35):
Also, Maurita says, Riley, your binden snap needs work. I
use it in a while.

Speaker 2 (21:42):
I loved it.

Speaker 4 (21:44):
He kept holding me and I think he wanted me
to turn around and kiss him, but I didn't, even
though I really really wanted to, I was able to
control myself. Oh. He let go of me after a
while and we finished cleaning everything up in silence and
just said goodbye. However, I can't stop thinking about him
and our hug. When I think of him, this strange,

(22:04):
overwhelming excitement takes over me, and it makes me feel
really good and full of life.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
Get a love search? Yeah, what happened to a good
old barn?

Speaker 2 (22:15):
He is referencing at TikTok.

Speaker 4 (22:17):
I hope you guys get it. The few times me
and my husband have had bedroom fund since February, I
am always thinking about my new coworker. I feel terrible
for what I'm doing. I know it's wrong and my
husband doesn't deserve this. Please don't judge. I'm here to
get help and advice. I know I'm doing something very immoral,
even though we haven't kissed or anything else. I love

(22:38):
my husband and I see myself with him for the
rest of my life, even if the bedroom fund is
not the best. He is my best friend and an
amazing person who makes me very happy. This new coworker
is someone I don't even know, and I don't think
this will lead to a relationship, but it has made
me feel so good and excited in a way that I.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
Hadn't felt in a long time.

Speaker 4 (22:56):
The feeling that takes over my body when I talk
to him is so powerful that I've started to think
that I would actually sacrifice my marriage just to have
bedroom fun with him.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
He's got a sacrifice a marriage.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
This is the ten percent. You're looking as like you
have ninety percent of what you want a relationship, but
this is the ten percent, and you're willing to risk
your ninety percent to get with a ten percent.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
Yeah, we don't want that. We don't want that.

Speaker 4 (23:17):
But also it's it's really crazy that she was like,
I don't think this will lead to a relationship. I
don't want to throw my marriage away from this, and
then in the next sentence she was like, Okay, but
every time we speak, I just.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
Think I might throw away my marriage. It's a crime.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
You just have a crush, That's what this is. This
is like a little little fleeing you know. Summary. Yeah,
what's that one movie? Yes, thank you, bad thing, that's
what that is.

Speaker 4 (23:43):
Summer loven Yeah, exactly, exactly. Even if we don't get
into a relationship, I think we have such a strong
chemistry that it would be amazing. I don't want to
cheat on my husband, so I'm thinking of asking him
for an open marriage. He knows my libido is higher,
so maybe he will be okay with it. If I'm
honest with myself, I think it would hurt him a
lot that I even ask, But maybe he will say
yes because he knows I'm not one hundred percent happy

(24:04):
with our bedroom fund would me asking this be the
end of our marriage or a solution to my dilemma. Also,
leaving my job is not an option. I am one
of the top managers and my salary is very high.
I doubt I would be able to find another job
of this salary in a.

Speaker 2 (24:17):
Short or medium term.

Speaker 4 (24:18):
We don't work in the same department, so I'm not
his boss and have no influence on his position or salary.
Just to clarify again, please don't judge me. I feel
crap enough as things are. What would you do if
you were me? Ask my husband for an open marriage,
Ignore my feelings and just stop.

Speaker 2 (24:32):
This little game.

Speaker 4 (24:33):
Please help me understand my situation from an outside perspective
so that I don't ruin my marriage for nothing.

Speaker 2 (24:37):
And there is a small updates. But what do you think, op?

Speaker 1 (24:40):
He should do two things? Number one, Yeah, I would
start analyzing your relationship with your husband and see if
this is just a friendship or if this is actually marriage,
because in this marriage, you're lacking a physical connection, which
we are realizing is very important to you. OPI.

Speaker 4 (24:57):
Yeah, And it seems like they've talked about that. That's
what it seems like he knows that she doesn't have
as much fun with how they're doing things in the
bedroom and everything. So I wonder if it's been something
that they've tried to work on or if it's something
that he's just kind of like, I just like, don't.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
Want to do what you want to do, you know
what I mean.

Speaker 4 (25:17):
Which is like, you know, okay in itself, but it's
just some you might need to have a different discussion.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
And that brings me to my second point. If you've realized, oh,
he is more than a friend, he's than my actual soulmate, Yeah,
I think going to like some sort of counseling, like
a spicy counselor or counseling in general, to align yourself
with a physical attraction, because you're getting his physical attraction
with a coworker and super fun of games. But you
need to have this with your husband or the third thing,

(25:43):
you just might need to end at all and try
again because there's something missing in this relationship and you're
longing for that.

Speaker 2 (25:50):
Also, the answer is not open marriage. Yeah, definitely don't
go for open marriage. It's not going to work out
how you want to do. Already have someone in mind, Yeah,
you're just feating.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
Yeah, and yeah exactly, and open marriage only works eight
percent of the time. We've done the math. We see
it all the time.

Speaker 2 (26:04):
Yeah, I know it's not gonna work here. It's it's
definitely not gonna work.

Speaker 4 (26:07):
Yeah, so you definitely have to ignore your feelings, maybe
talk to your husband about it, try to figure out
what will be.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
More exciting for you.

Speaker 4 (26:13):
But there is a small update, So thank you everyone
for your take on my situation. After taking a couple
hours to think more about this, I've decided to bring
it up with my husband this weekend. I will wait
until Friday evening after work so that we can both
talk it out during the weekend without affecting work. If
he wants to continue being married to me, then we
need to talk about the bedroom situation and fix it
as best we can. If he decides to divorce me,

(26:35):
then I will respect his decision and let him keep
our house because I feel really crappy for letting this
game get so far. I bet you won't feel really
crappy when you're filling up this other coworker.

Speaker 2 (26:46):
Oh, it's true, that's her. It's true.

Speaker 4 (26:51):
You would have said that if I didn't no roll
to take you said, so many.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
Were talking about you won't have any proof.

Speaker 4 (27:00):
We literally have three cameras pointing as you right now
and a giant microphone in your face.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
No proof, prove it in Go ahead, Okay, we'll remind it.
Oh wow, look you don't even have to tape. It's crazy.

Speaker 4 (27:13):
Oh my gosh, there are some comments. Comment Number one says, quote,
I will make me end my relationship. Fix the title
for you. Stop putting blame on him. Know what you
are doing. Asking for any open marriage will most definitely
cause more problems. If he even says yes, it might
work for a bit, but you're not asking for open
You're asking to cheat with somebody specific. That's not good intentions.

(27:36):
Just stop what you are doing. Stop blaming him, Just
stop coming. Number two says he's not your soulmate. Don't
throw that word around. You don't knowingly hurt and betray
your soulmate or someone you love. Seems like you weren't
ready for a marriage, and it also seems like you
essentially settled for your now husband. Poor guy, because you
say you broke up with your last boyfriend because he
didn't want to marry you and you enjoyed your time

(27:58):
with him more honestly, just have a clean divorce from
this man and let him find his true soulmate.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
You seem like.

Speaker 4 (28:04):
You're more into yourself and enjoy being chased and wanted
from someone who isn't your husband. You pretty much already
cheated in my eyes, because you entertained another man. You
let him essentially grope you from behind, and you did
nothing about it. Hope for the best outcome for you,
regardless of the fact that you seem like you only
care about yourself instead of having a normal conversation with
your husband and not actively trying to cheat on him.

(28:26):
COMMN Number three says, what I do in those situations
is fantasize about the full picture. Say you sleep with
the twenty four year old, it's amazing, you have mind blowing,
spicy sleep. Now you leave your husband. Now what you're
dating the twenty four year old?

Speaker 2 (28:39):
You work with him? Suddenly the rush isn't.

Speaker 4 (28:41):
There so much anymore. There's a new twenty two year
old at work that the guy is now flirting with.
He's only twenty four and wants to fool around with
another woman.

Speaker 2 (28:48):
You were a fun game to him. Oh you start
to miss your husband yet and there is an update.
But honestly.

Speaker 4 (28:54):
Yeah, that's a good, good way to do it, being
realistic about the situation.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
Yeah, term, Yeah, because she knows.

Speaker 4 (29:02):
She knows this isn't like a relationship that she just
thinks is better than her relationship. Like she she knows
that she's just in this marriage. It's been comfortable, and
she's put up with this stuff that she she's missed
out on because she loves him. But now that you
know they went on and that part didn't really get
as exciting or any more exciting than it needed to

(29:24):
be than now.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
She's got this temptation in front of her. Yeah, this
fresh new meat stick. Oh, she's trying to get a
little little nibble less.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
See, you say way worse things than I do. No idea,
we're talking to say way worse things than I do.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
So she needs to realize, am I gonna cash out
a nice, little comfy relationship for a little meat stick?

Speaker 2 (29:47):
But there is an updates.

Speaker 4 (29:48):
So many people wrote me horrible things, thinking that I'm
an awful person for behaving like this. I know that
this may sound like that, and I do feel bad
about everything, but marrying and living with someone who is
not fulfilling you is really difficults.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
I wouldn't wish it on anyone so dramatic.

Speaker 3 (30:03):
He wouldn't wish it on anyone, And I definitely couldn't
have communicated any of these thoughts or feelings.

Speaker 2 (30:07):
Also, I had to cheat.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
What's really bothering me is the lack of accountability. I
have not seen her once be like, I'm in the wrong.
What's up with this? Well, I mean she's putting it
on her husband saying, oh my gosh, he's not fulfilling
my needs. And then he's putting it on the co
work her. Oh my gosh, she's making me want to
do it.

Speaker 4 (30:25):
Well, okay, I will say she is.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
She is saying that she's in the wrong, that she's
left up produced.

Speaker 4 (30:31):
A little bit, but it feels bad, but she's not
doing anything about it, that's the thing.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
So like, I'll give her that. I guess she's saying it.

Speaker 4 (30:39):
We can't like ragging her for that, but still in
the wrong because she's not doing anything.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
He is an.

Speaker 4 (30:44):
Amazing person, so it makes it really hard. If he
was not nice to me or we had other issues,
it would be an easier decision. But because everything except
spicy sleep is fantastic, it's really tough. Imagine finding someone
you love dearly and who loves you just as dearly,
but he has really low libido and really high so
you feel unwanted, undesired, and unfulfilled.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
Yeah, you feel conversation exactly.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
But you are feeling unfulfilled.

Speaker 2 (31:10):
Right because it's not just about libido. I think, like
it's not it's not just about like, oh, I just
like this stuff more than you do. It's like there,
I feel like.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
She wants to be filled.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (31:22):
Exactly, But I feel like there's still things that you
can do to like say, like, you know, okay, maybe
I don't know, not as often, I don't want to
do these things as often, but like the things that
we do during what's going on over there, Riley just.

Speaker 1 (31:36):
Trying to figure out a way to fill herself up
with love.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
It's not even a good joke that you're cracking up
over there about.

Speaker 4 (31:43):
It's not even that good.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
Yeah yeah, but yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (31:50):
I feel like they could figure some sort of compromise
out and not just like, you know, just be like well, yeah,
we just are completely uncompatible in that sense, and there's
nothing we can about it, you know.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
So sounds like a conversation to do old space.

Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 (32:06):
That was my situation, and I tried to navigate it
as best as I could. I know, some people judged
me for flirting with my coworker Mail twenty five, and
I accept that I did some bad things, but it
wasn't actually cheating.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
Being real, many people in.

Speaker 4 (32:19):
Relationships are attracted to others who are not their partner
and flirt a little bit.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
That's not cheating, but it's not okay either.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
Okay, stop trying to justify yourself and get to the point.

Speaker 4 (32:27):
Yeah, because that's also like, yeah, every couple will have
a different tolerance for what you can do with other people.
Every couple will define cheating differently. So you might think
that that's not cheating, and that might make you feel
a bit better, But does your husband know that you
guys talk about that, Like.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
Recently in our relationship, I was, you know it, tried
to do a blonde chick, but now I'm a tracked to
a redhead chick, and it's like, how do I navigate
that in a relationship? And who knows? It might be
blue hair soon? Who knows?

Speaker 2 (32:53):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (32:54):
Yeah, how are you going to just keep jumping around
for all these different women.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
Ley, it's fun. Fact, it's the same moment I just
gotta that makes.

Speaker 4 (33:04):
It so much easier. Oh, that makes it so much
easier then, so maybe that's just what this is. Maybe
it's just.

Speaker 3 (33:10):
Opie's husband in a wig and like I didn't even recognize.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
Just so attractive in all these different wigs, and then
he like accuses her.

Speaker 4 (33:20):
He's like, oh, dare you now he knows all about
the cheating because he's pricked you. Now that this is clear,
I'd like to ask for another piece of advice from
people who are in a similar position as me, and
people who want to help.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
People that are in a similar situation. They do not
go to the Facebook groups who are like I want
to cheat to my husband's how do I do it?
Don't go there. I'm glad you're here a similar similar
situation as me.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
I love you.

Speaker 4 (33:53):
If you don't want to help and just want to
judge me, then skip it and move on to the
next Reddit post you find.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
Thanks. Well, oh, a long time has passed since my
last update.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
Whoa Well?

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Okay, actually, first, before we.

Speaker 4 (34:04):
Read that, I think, uh, op, if you're genuinely looking
for advice because I can understand you. You made a
noopsia on purpose and that's not okay. What you have
to do now is be honest about it. Stop it
because you know it's wrong.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
You're feeling bad about it.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
Stop, get some help.

Speaker 4 (34:22):
Exactly if you keep going with this, you're you're just
gonna feel worse.

Speaker 2 (34:27):
You know that it's wrong. You know that it's not cool.

Speaker 4 (34:30):
For your husband to be like treated like this, but
kind of accident. Well exactly, she likes it, she likes it,
but you know, sometimes it's fun to play with fire
doesn't mean we can burn things down. We can burn
down people's properly, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
That's exactly.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
Sometimes people like to play with their their hot dog
gonna stick whenever it's on fire. That's a dangerous gain
to play.

Speaker 4 (34:55):
Dangerous game to play. You heard it here first, folks. Yeah, oh,
b roast, you know that it's not okay. So yeah,
just end it, talk to your husband about it, look
at the deeper issue and work on that.

Speaker 1 (35:07):
Okay, real quick, before we get into this update, I'm
gonna need you guys to laugh at one joke because
I am, I am, I need to.

Speaker 2 (35:16):
It's so hard.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
I need to be fulfilled in that way. I'm gonna
turn into this woman and go on some other podcasts
and get make the jokes there. Okay, well I'm gonna
have to go in Dakota. Do you want that?

Speaker 2 (35:27):
Well jakes for the boys and it's just the girls. Okay,
I proclaimed laugh slute, laughing or.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
Yes, I am a laughing or and I am proud
of it.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
Whoa, we can't say that word. Riley lie me too though.
All right on to the small updates.

Speaker 1 (35:46):
Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
Here.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three
minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (35:51):
Long story short, things are in a weird state right now.
Why My husband did well for a while, but around
two months ago he told me that he just doesn't
feel very spicy. He related, and he's never had high
libido in his life, so he's finding it hard to
have spicy sleep. As often as we were, it wasn't
even much. Two times per week Wednesdays and Saturdays. Mostly
they've got its schedule, got it scheduled out.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
In fact, that's when Survivor and other new TV show
come out.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Wednesdays and Saturday. Just get really riled up from survival.

Speaker 4 (36:22):
He told me that for him, it's more spontaneous and
we would be okay to do it once per.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
Week or even less often. For this reason, he accepted
my proposal of an open marriage. Ah, so she did both.

Speaker 4 (36:33):
So she was like, how can we work on our
on our spicy life and then also can we open
their marriage.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
I think he came. He came to her, understood it.

Speaker 4 (36:44):
He accepted her proposal as Oh my god, but yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (36:50):
Swear to goodness gracious, like he goes and has spicy
sleep with that office.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
Oh yeah, it's definitely gonna happen. Like I no wonder.

Speaker 4 (37:00):
It's in a weird state right now, dude, come on.
So he gave me two conditions. The first that I
always use a Wiener wrapper and that I'm very hygienic
so I don't get any disease. Second that I always
come home to sleep, even if it's very late. So
we only have one car, so we even offer to
pick me up at any time, just to make sure

(37:20):
I'm safe at the end of the night.

Speaker 2 (37:22):
First month was a thrill. I don't want to hear
about it. Op, I don't want to hear about it.
I don't want to hear about it.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
But guys, guys, guys. They talked about in an open
marriage and they agreed to it. So this is their
They're playing by their own rules. Yeah, they had a conversation.

Speaker 4 (37:38):
I just can't believe they didn't like figure this out
before they got married, Like this is maybe.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Why you need to wait a little longer than two
years to get married people.

Speaker 4 (37:49):
I don't know, just a personal opinion, but that's pretty fast.
I explained to my coworker the arrangement with my husband,
and we got together right off. It was a I
went to his place after work almost every day for
three weeks and we had a great time. It is
the best spicy sleep of my life so far. There
was a lot of passion, and he had a much

(38:10):
more stamina than I had experienced before.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
And he has a great body too.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
Oh my gosh, dude, I can't, I can't.

Speaker 4 (38:19):
We didn't meet for a week because I got my
period and then he got the VID, so I haven't
seen him since then. I got into dating apps and
have hooked up with a couple of younger guys early twenties.
It has been fun as well. During those two months,
things didn't change much with my husband. We were loving
partners whenever we met at home and he didn't ask
me anything. However, last weekend he asked me a bunch

(38:39):
of questions, who had I been with and how I
felt about them. He didn't care much about the spicy sleep,
but more about the feelings. I told him that I
didn't feel love for anyone else, only him, which is true.
My husband said that he is happy that I'm having
a satisfied life now and that he is worried that
I will love someone else and leave him. I asked
him if he wanted to get divorced, and he said no,

(39:00):
that he wants to be married forever to me and
that if his libido gets hired, then we could close
the relationship again. I tried to convince him to get
into dating apps and find girls, but he wasn't interested.
I shared him I won't leave him, but I don't
know how I can make him trust me. I love
him above everything, but I understand that my actions might
say otherwise.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
I want him to be happy. Please let me know
if you have any advice.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
The move was to get a counselor and figure out
a way to maybe increase his libido because he still
loves you in this way.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
Yeah, dude, who was to get a counselor period? That too?

Speaker 1 (39:34):
Man?

Speaker 4 (39:35):
Like, I don't know, I feel like there are probably
things you can figure out, some sort of compromise.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
Me.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
What have you been doing this whole time? You've been
together for four years? Right, I mean, like have you
really just put it up? Put up with it for
four years?

Speaker 1 (39:48):
Like wild? Wild?

Speaker 2 (39:51):
God, I don't know, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (39:52):
I mean, like, you know, if it works for you, guys,
it works for you, guys.

Speaker 2 (39:56):
I just have a really strong feeling that it's not
going to work.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
Not it's really not because he's starting to get paranoid
about the feelings and now he's probably gonna give paranoid
about the physical aspect of the relationship.

Speaker 4 (40:07):
Yeah exactly, because it's like, you know, even if this
goes on, he like gets more used to it and stuff,
Like he's that possibility of you just like leaving because
of feelings for another that's I mean, that's technically always
a possibility, Like that's you know, you could always do that,
but you that possibility is much higher. No, But now
that he knows you're basically dating, but there are some

(40:29):
comments coming. Number one says everyone should note how she
had someone lined up and wright did you go from
the jump? If someone even broaches the subject of an
open relationship, you know cheating has occurred. And to answer
your question, your husband is correct. Eventually you will fall
in love with your spicy sleep partner and lose all
feelings for your husband. Divorce it would be the best
for you both. Common Number two says, if you actually

(40:51):
loved your husband, you'd let him go instead of manipulating him.

Speaker 2 (40:53):
And causing him constant heartache.

Speaker 4 (40:55):
No amount of justification will make you seem any less
selfish and heartless, and if you'll find the same response
no matter which group you post in next, I hope
his next partner treats him properly because you clearly lacked
the emotional depth to do so. And there is another update,
let's just jump right in. Update number two. I talked
with my husband about how I felt about our spicy

(41:16):
sleep life and that it wasn't fulfilling me. He told
me how he is feeling worse about his depression since
the pandemic has taken a toll on his income as
a freelancer and that has lowered his libido in the
past few months. I was honest with him and told
him there was someone at work who I was attracted
to but wouldn't do anything unless he allowed me to.
I asked him how he would feel about an open
marriage with the promise that as soon as someone wants

(41:38):
to close it, it would be closed and no hard feelings.
I told him that he could also do it with
other women, of course, but.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
He's not going to that's he doesn't want that. Yeah,
he's doing this to make you feel happy exactly, stead
of figuring out aw weighted.

Speaker 3 (41:56):
Oh, I don't think it's like if he has a
little libido, if he's always had that, it might not
be anyway for him to raise that. But then the
relationship doesn't work if that's what she wants and he
doesn't want that. Yeah, don't cheat on your Like you
literally planned to cheat then got permission to go hook
up with someone you already wanted to hook up with him.
We're like lead, you know, trying to lead up to that.

(42:18):
So it just wasn't This is not working anymore. You
can't have a relationship exactly.

Speaker 4 (42:23):
And I hope he is referring to when the request
opened up. After hearing my request for an open marriage,
he cried. Because this was a Friday, he spent the
whole weekend crying and locked up in our bedroom. He
came out to sleep in the couch during the night,
but he spent both Saturday and Sunday locked in with
his phone only. I came in a couple of times
to hug him and try to comfort him. I felt

(42:44):
terrible and repeated several times that I loved him and
wanted to be with him forever, that I didn't want
to open the marriage if he wasn't okay with it,
and he clearly wasn't, so just forget I said anything.
He eventually asked me about this guy I liked, and
I told him how he looks and how he makes
me feel. I told him about our flur day, about
the hug, and that he made me feel it was
time to either end the game or do something about it.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
And do something about it like also ending it, Yeah, dude,
like come on, Also, doesn't this guy know you're married?

Speaker 2 (43:12):
He does?

Speaker 4 (43:13):
Yeah, it's not like, oh, well, I mean, I'm assuming
actually sure she's got a ring on.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
So oh my gosh.

Speaker 4 (43:19):
He said he would think about the open marriage and
let me know in a few days. The week after this,
I was very busy at work, but I wanted him
to feel safe that I wasn't staying extra hours at
work to be with my colleague, so I worked from home.
Having that distance with my colleague made me miss him
a lot, and I realized I might like him more
than I first wanted to admit.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
That week was mostly uneventful.

Speaker 4 (43:38):
My husband was also working from home and we barely
talked during work hours, but we had a nice time
during the evenings. We had dinner together every evening and
watch the new Vikings TV series, which we both really liked.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
Okay, like going on.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
No bedroom fun though, and no mention of the open marriage.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
So this was Oh he did this with her husband?

Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yes, okay, Yes, that what you were clarifying. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 4 (44:00):
The week after that, I went back to the office,
and when I saw my coworker again, I felt this
amazing sensation again. I realized how attracted I was to
him and how much I wanted him to touch me.

Speaker 2 (44:09):
The thought of it still drives me crazy.

Speaker 4 (44:12):
It was his twenty fifth birthday that week, so we
went out with other coworkers to have dinner. At the end,
we were alone in the restaurant and we held hands.
It felt unbelievably good. I was about to leave because
I felt I was starting to cross the line, but
then he asked me if he could kiss me.

Speaker 2 (44:27):
I asked him if he knew I was.

Speaker 4 (44:28):
Married, and note I don't wear my wedding ring during
the winter, so he hadn't seen it.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
Wait, why not during the winter.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
Yeah, what's that about. There's no way. It's too cold
because it's on your body.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
You're just wearing gloves, and you don't want it to
come off whenever you take your gloves off.

Speaker 2 (44:44):
That's just weird. Interesting.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
Hey, it's johnio og host here. We're going to get
back to the stories, but he's a quick three minute
break of ass form more sponsors.

Speaker 4 (44:51):
He said yes, but that he didn't mind. After that,
I let go of his hand and left the restaurant.
I didn't say goodbye.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
I just left. When I came home, my husband has
the bedroom with candles and music, and.

Speaker 4 (45:02):
He even brought me my favorite candy and big Teddy
Bear plushy that was holding a letter. We sat on
the bed and he asked me to read the letter
out loud. It pretty much said that he loved me
above all things and he would do anything to keep
us together, and he proposed again.

Speaker 2 (45:15):
He gave me a ring.

Speaker 4 (45:16):
With no diamond and put it in my right hand.
He told me he was going to get a job
so that he didn't have to worry about his freelance business,
and also he was going to start working out too,
to fight his depression and hopefully get his libido up again.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
I'm sorry, just a little. This is the same story.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
Is just a commenter, This is the same story.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
This is the same story.

Speaker 3 (45:34):
Yeah, basically, op, he is kind of going back in
time a little bit and saying that originally he said
no open marriage. He cried, and then she went had
dinner with the coworker and was like, oh, we almost kissed.
And then she goes back her husband's prepared all this
and is now saying, I want to do whatever you
like want.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
Okay, okay, So we're we're getting the Playboy play here.
It makes sense why this guy's libido was low, because
right now he's probably having to struggle to make it.
Ins me. Yeah, then, also working at a freelance job,
it's very lonely. If he's working at home, it's very tough. Yeah,
Mace kind of sense because he's trying to hold it
down on his end and doesn't have a lot of

(46:10):
social interactions.

Speaker 4 (46:11):
Yeah, I mean, he literally just said that he's going
to try fighting his depression. So he's been just depressed
this whole time. Like, no wonder his libido's down. That's
how that happens.

Speaker 1 (46:22):
Yeah, when I had a freelance business, I was pretty
stressed out a lot because I was like hoping, Oh am,
I gonna make ends meet this month. Everything it's really dark.

Speaker 2 (46:30):
I'd so see there's things to do about the low libido.

Speaker 4 (46:33):
It's not just like a he's just stuck with this
for the rest of his life, not like, hey, maybe
I can help my husband like not be so depressed
anymore or something.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
And if he's not working out too, like, dude, I
haven't worked down a little bit. In my head is
so foggy. Yeah, whenever I work out, I'm pretty sharp.
And if you're not, you know, getting those kind of
endorphins or you know whatever, the type of serotonine whatever,
don't mean Yeah, your brain's not gonna be a sharp
and it's not gonna be feeding off of that.

Speaker 4 (46:56):
Yeah, and I think working out too like does actually
hired your libido too, so that in itself, like ye
would help.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
But oh man, the.

Speaker 4 (47:05):
Fact that he's doing all this after she literally just
almost kissed this guy. Yo. Yeah, he told me he
didn't want an open marriage and apologized a bunch of
times for not being as good in bed as I
wanted him to be. I kept reassuring him that he
is the most amazing person in the world, that he
is more than enough, that it is me who is
stupid and has issues. I told him we could go
to the gym together and I would behave professionally with

(47:27):
my coworker from now on.

Speaker 1 (47:28):
So that's just Gauzanda says, OPI heard the libido was
down because her husband was depressed, and she didn't go
how can I help you out of the space. Instead,
she wants to open the relationship like she saw an opportunity.

Speaker 4 (47:43):
Yeah, yeah, I feel like, yeah, there's there's like a difference.
You know, finding your your spicy chemistry is important in
a relationship.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
But like using the.

Speaker 4 (47:53):
Excuse of like, oh, I just like have a high
libido and you just have a low libido. It's like, okay, well,
if there's that issue, then it's like either work on it,
find a good compromise that you're actually okay with, or
or you just aren't compatible.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
And then Dushes also says, also, I don't like that
OPI phrased it a ring without a diamond instead of
like an emoder ring or whatever the gyms were in
the ringk She's like, oh he got me a ring
without a diamond and proposed to me instead of oh
he got me a ring. Yeah yeah, sure, yeah, that's
really good wording, good good eye, good iron.

Speaker 2 (48:21):
Yeah yeah, but there's a little bit more to the story.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
And sorry, uh perverse Lea says, Dudes, I am Polly,
and this woman's behavior as me why I I'm not
understanding how she can treat this mono man like this.
This is cheater behavior, not poly behavior.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
Eactly, She's not in a Polly relationship or our open relationship.
She's a cheater.

Speaker 4 (48:41):
Yeah. Yeah, it's that whole libido excuse, like, oh, it's
just biology, babe.

Speaker 2 (48:46):
I can't do anything about it. I need this. Things
are much better between us now.

Speaker 4 (48:51):
He has put a lot of effort into performing better
in the bedroom, and going to the gym has helped
us both with the negative feelings we had. As a
result of our conversation, we are now at a much
better place than we were before, and I feel more
connected to him than ever before. I am, still, of course,
attracted to my coworker, but I decided to close that
door and just ignore him from now on.

Speaker 2 (49:08):
We don't work in the same department, so I don't
need to.

Speaker 4 (49:11):
Talk to him at all. The last time I spend
with him, the less I like him. I feel that
the infatuation is starting to disappear, which I am very
grateful for. Thank you again to everyone who reached out,
especially those who told me about the affair fog. It
really helps me put things into perspective and prevented me
from making a stupid mistake I would.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
Regret for the rest of my life. And that's the
end of that story.

Speaker 4 (49:31):
But I'm very confused because this sounded like we were
going back in time to like when when the question
was first popped up, is like, hey, do you want
to have an open relationship? And then now it looks
like they chose not to, But we read earlier.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
I feel like our updates.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
Got a little out of line there, I am I kind.

Speaker 4 (49:51):
Of I have a feeling because one of the updates,
like it didn't have a specific update like time, like
title thing.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
I think it might have been out of order.

Speaker 4 (50:00):
And I think that update, I think it sounds like
they were going to be fine with like not having
an open relationship.

Speaker 3 (50:06):
No. I think what happened was that he said, yeah,
I'm cool with an open relationship.

Speaker 1 (50:11):
So I think what it was.

Speaker 2 (50:12):
So Op comes to him, says, hey, a relationship. He
starts crying, says no.

Speaker 3 (50:17):
She goes to have dinner with the guy that and
almost kisses him. Comes back, he's like, actually, I'm okay
with it. They try it out and then realize this
isn't working, and then he tries to work on his libido.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
I think that was.

Speaker 1 (50:32):
That's the journey.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Yeah, it's weird, Yeah, yeah, super weird. Wasn't update one.
She had an amazing few weeks sleeping with a coworker
and that did I imagine that, So I think she
had there was like a few months. I am confused
by the I'm kind of.

Speaker 4 (50:49):
I'm kind of guessing maybe like at first he wasn't
okay with it because he said, like, he'll do whatever
you can to keep the marriage, but that meant like
going to the gym and stuff. He then said he
does like he told me he didn't want an open marriage.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
Well, Nigie said they never opened it since I'd give
him a week and told her.

Speaker 4 (51:07):
To No, it could have been too that, like maybe
they opened it at first, and then after a while
he was like, no, this just I just actually really
don't like this.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
Yeah, and then.

Speaker 4 (51:15):
Maybe maybe the kiss that he was asking about was
kissing in public because that was at a party, so
maybe that's what it was. They were doing things in
secret and then and then I guess the whole time
he didn't know that. And then afterwards now since things
were kind of weird, now he's like, no, I don't
want an open marriage. Yeah, but ah, man, man, oh man,

(51:36):
I always think you guys can be happy.

Speaker 1 (51:37):
One more story for y'all. I'll then right up. My
wife cheated at the start of our relationship because she
was unsure about me.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
Well, you I thought you were sure when you married me.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
My wife, thirty six female, and I thirty eight male,
have been together since twenty ten. We both were at
full time and don't have kids. We've been trying for
a while without success. Through recent events left me wondering
if I really want this with her now. By the way,
this comes from a throwaway and affected mars And if
you want to make your own stories, what are the
ur slish o caase stories? Time Subred that we met

(52:12):
when we were both in the university, me two thousand
and seven and she two thousand and eight. We were
friends before we got together in the end of the
two thousand and nine started twenty ten semester. She was
going through a bad time in her relationship at the time,
and I ended up supporting her with a mutual friend
of ours. She broke up with their ex, and a
few months later, one thing led to another and we

(52:33):
ended up kissing, which led to me inviting her on
a date, and the rest just happened. We were officially
together twenty ten, and I couldn't be happier. Our marriage
and relationship in general were always pretty good. We've always
communicated well and I never had a reason to suspect
my wife was cheating. Last Saturday, there was a barbecue

(52:55):
in her brother's house. I got inside to get some
stuff in the kitchen, and while I was looking in
side the fridge, I however, heard my wife talking to
her sister in the other room. I wasn't trying to
snoop on them at first, I really don't do this
kind of thing. But then I heard something like, ope,
can never know about this. Well, of course that was
my cue to actually snoop. I hadn't listened to her talking. Apparently,

(53:21):
her sister almost cheated on her boyfriend and was feeling guilty,
and my wife told her about the time she slept
with a guy who was a lab assistant with her
at the university after we started dating we were exclusive
see edit two in twenty ten.

Speaker 2 (53:36):
WHOA, that's crazy.

Speaker 4 (53:39):
Her sister is like, oh my gosh, like I feel
so bad I'm cheating.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
And then she's like, it's okay, it's okay, you're fine.
Like I've been there, I've done it. It's okay, it's
not a big deal. This is how you can keep
a secret. And that's when she stops keeping her secret.

Speaker 1 (53:52):
No, absolutely not. I the fact that a sibling or
a friend could ever justify someone on cheating that is
not a healthy relationship. So oh, why would this wife
want to cheat, so, in her words, she said, I
wasn't sure about things with OP would work out at
the time, and I allowed myself to do it. I

(54:14):
felt guilty once I saw how much he loved me
and treated me, and I could see a future with him.
Then her sister asked if something else happened later in
the relationship, and my wife said, no, it was just
that one time, and I wish I could forget about it.
I haven't talked to her about this yet. I'm not
try to approach it. I feel incredibly hurt, and I
know confronting her right now may just worsen things again.

(54:35):
I've never had a reason to suspect you cheated, but
she hit this from me all these years, and now
I just found out. It feels like she just cheated
on me, and I'm really broken. He noticed I'm not
myself these past few days, and I just missed it,
saying it's just stress. But she knows me and you
will keep trying to get an answer. I don't know

(54:56):
what to do. Did I just try and forget what
I heard. I don't know if I should talk to
her right now or process it in therapy first. We
haven't edit I had this happened to a family member once.
Really yep, their partner cheating on them and they found
out like ten years later.

Speaker 2 (55:11):
Oh really yeah, and they.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
Still stay together through a very hard time. But did
they say that that they don't have kids right now?
Right of you? I don't think, Okay, okay, I think
they were trying to have kids. But now he's stuck.
Do we break up? Do divorce?

Speaker 4 (55:30):
I mean maybe, like maybe that's on the table, because, like,
like you said, yeah, it feels like you just got
cheated on. Like I remember, Oh, I spilled my burrito
on the couch on cleaned it up. I'm sorry, but yeah,
it's like it it hurts. I remember like leaving a
relationship and then like nine months later I realized that
he like definitely probably cheated on me. And even though

(55:52):
I was like very happy to not be with him anymore,
I was still like hurt so much by that.

Speaker 2 (55:59):
And he's not, you know what I mean, way out
of the picture. So it's like it's still like it
still gets you.

Speaker 4 (56:04):
But then if you're still with that person and they
haven't even given you a hint that they might have cheated,
like they are that trustworthy while actively like had been
keeping the secret this whole time. Mm hmmm, that's a
that's a even more trust that's being broken.

Speaker 1 (56:21):
Got net it? I decided it will talk to her,
but not right now. I'm so very upset, and I
don't want this to turn into a shouting match. I
want it to be a conversation, not a fight. I
have a therapy session today and I will speak with
my therapist about it. Hopefully it will help me start
this conversation with my wife. Had I known she cheated
at the time, I would have definitely broke up with her.
I understand everyone's saying, just leave, but this is the

(56:42):
person I built my life with, the person who supported
me in so many ways and helped me grow as
a person and as a professional. Or I make any
harsh decisions, I want to hear what she has to
say about this. Then I will decide for myself what
I will be willing to do going forward. No, I
don't believe she cheated on me any other than this time.

(57:03):
She never gave me any reasons to think she did.
I've always had access to her phone, She's never secretive
of anything, and we spent most of her free time together,
But how do you answer? When I talked to her
about it, will surely either confirm this or change it completely.
We had an edit too. I talked to my therapist.
It helped me a lot. My head is in a
much better place now, and I will talk to my

(57:25):
wife tonight. My decision on what will be my next
steps we based on the way she reacts and responds
to me. Also, people are assuming we aren't exclusive when
the cheating happened, we were. Words were lost in translation
after we started dating. Literally means Spanish, I believe in
my mother's tongue, and this is something we say in

(57:47):
my country only when couples are exclusive, which was in
our case. We did have a phase of friends with benefits.
Then we were both seeing other people, but we knew
about it. We have an update.

Speaker 2 (57:58):
Oh wait, a secon have a little burrito. Wait a second,
she's eating a burrito.

Speaker 1 (58:03):
What do you got to say?

Speaker 4 (58:04):
We had a little bit of a friends with benefits
thing while we were seeing other people.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
While we were both seeing other people.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
So they were seeing other people and they said, hey,
now we're together. We're boyfriend girlfriend now.

Speaker 2 (58:15):
Yeah, but it said that.

Speaker 4 (58:16):
We were We had a friends with benefits thing while
we were both seeing up.

Speaker 1 (58:20):
So this is what happened. They were friends seeing each
other messing around, friends with benefits, became exclusive. He then
hooked up with the other guy.

Speaker 2 (58:29):
But Angie's implying that they were in relationships when I started,
so that's.

Speaker 4 (58:34):
Yeah, So they basically like were cheating on their relationships
with each other it I.

Speaker 2 (58:38):
Think she was implying that they were also seeing.

Speaker 3 (58:42):
Other people at first, but then they became official, so
they were like seeing people officially, they were just kind
of dating around.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
Okay, update anyway, after I made the post, I talked
to my therapist. She helped me put things in perspective
and made me really think on what and how I
value my relationship with my wife. She made me realize
that and I really needed to have this conversation with
my wife, but not about the cheating itself, but how
she hid it from me. Last night, I decided to
speak with my wife. I've waited until we were both

(59:10):
chilling and called her to our bedroom saying I needed
to talk. Tensed up and went with me, asked me
what's wrong. We both sat on her bed and had
to hold myself together not to break down in front
of her. I said, I heard when she spoke to
her sister about the time she cheated when we started
our relationship. Yes, we started being exclusive, I said. I

(59:30):
was hurt a lot, but even more due to the
fact that she hid it from me. I asked her
why she did it and why she never told me anything.
She broke down crying in front of me. She said
it was true, happened right after we became exclusive. She
said that us being friends at the time and even
having a friends with benefit phase, made her fall in
love with me pretty fast. At the time, she had

(59:51):
some friends that kept encouraging her stay away from me
because she was getting too much attached and too fast,
and she needed to wait and have more fun before
going all in into another relationship. When I asked her
to be my girlfriend, he said, she really wanted to
be together with me, so she said yes. But her
being her words, a naive idiot at the time, she

(01:00:14):
let herself get influenced by those friends and in one
of those nights outs, he got wasted and ended up
making out with the guy that worked with her in
the lab. He said it was just a makeout and
nothing spicy related. Happened. She swore she exaggerated the story
to her sister, but they didn't have spicy sleep. She said.

(01:00:35):
She regretted it immediately and left the party for her
home and cried all night.

Speaker 4 (01:00:39):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
Now, I don't like that that she exaggerated it to
the sister and believe that she did. I don't believe that.
I think we should call the guy or become friends
with the guy and trying to get out.

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
Of him from ten years.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
Ago, plan a seed, plan a guy beside of him.
You could try disguise yourself and then be like, hey,
you ever see this guy. Oh yeah, yeah we made
out once, or oh yeah me and her hooked up. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:01:04):
I don't know why she would exaggerate for her sister though,
because his sister didn't actually cheat, right, she was just
like thinking about cheating.

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
So it's not like she was like, oh, no, I
slept with someone.

Speaker 4 (01:01:13):
Ah, and then their little wife is like, oh, it's okay,
I did that too, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:01:18):
It's like you you didn't have to do that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
Like what I said, It was a relevant if they
had spicy sleep or not. It was the fact that
she kept this hidden from me that hurts the most
right again and said it was wrong of her and
it was a stupid mistake. You just want to pretend
it never happened. Said she was afraid I was going
to leave her for something so stupid and did not
have the courage to tell me. She swore she loved

(01:01:42):
me and never felt anything for anyone else after we
got together. Then she begs me to forgive her again,
saying it was a stupid mistake out of a young
and naive girl who has gotten out of the bad
relationship and let herself be influenced by bad friends. I
felt she was honest, and I mean it. I believe
every word of her, and I feel he genuinely regrets

(01:02:03):
what has happened. We have a little bit of laugh girls,
What do you got to say? Yeah, he's liar, liar?

Speaker 4 (01:02:11):
Yeah, Like if you if you really think that you
could still work this out, and you want to still
work this out, then that would be great if you could.
But I mean, if she's been lying to you this
whole time, and then I mean, maybe she's telling the
Jeri about not.

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
Actually hooking up with him. Maybe, but I don't believe it.
So if if she's lying then she's lying to you
again right now.

Speaker 4 (01:02:31):
She had a second chance, had so many chances all
of these years to not lie to you about this,
and she's literally you're confronting her.

Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
She's had another chance that she's down't go away.

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
Caylen says, funny, how she's not taking accountability. Yeah, yeah,
she's my friend said it. I was just gonna have
a bad relationship. I'm just hearing. I'm truly sorry.

Speaker 4 (01:02:52):
Yeah, it's like, no, you were an adult. You were
aware of your actions. I know you're wasted, but you
were still in control, and so you did it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
Back to the story, said, I forgive her, but I
want to be able to celebrate the date of our
start again. So we decided to pick another date. We
now celebrate our marriage anniversary and the date we moved
in together. We deflated like a balloon after we spoke.
We said it was tormenting her to keep the secret.
I'm not gonna lie say. The situation did not leave

(01:03:22):
a mark in our relationship. It did. Things definitely shifted,
but not in a we need to end things kind
of way. Talking to her really did me good and
I love her more than anything, even though it hurt
I'm now certain we will both be able to navigate
this together. That's the end of that story. Wow, beautiful,
this makes cheating makes relationships strongers. Guys, if you want

(01:03:43):
your relationship to be stronger, maybe go cheat and get
back together.

Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
Well well.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
Yeah, it makes ten percent of relationship stronger because the
ninety percent of people leave.

Speaker 2 (01:03:57):
All right, Well, sir, roll the dice.

Speaker 1 (01:04:00):
Were That's my PSA for the day. But guys, AT's
the end of the story.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
That's the end of that story.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
And the end of the episode. So if you love us,
make sure to subscribe. We love you and see you tomorrow.

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