My wife CHEATED while pregnant...but now she’s telling everyone I'm the cheater! -r/AITAH | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hmm, my wife cheated while pregnant, but now she's telling
everyone I'm the cheater.

Speaker 4 (00:21):
That's not how that works, Trigg.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Warning mentions of My wife is a pretty terrible person.
I'll explain in a second, and you can yell at
me if you think I'm being unfair by calling her that.
And I probably shouldn't have married her or even dated
her in the first place. She has two awesome kids
with another man, and I began being in their lives
when they were one and four. By the way, this
comes from good competition five seven four one, and if

(00:44):
you want to sumit your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay Storytime suppered it. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly,
and we're here to give good advice. Goofully, But we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,
So let us know what you would do in the comments.
I knew their mom back in high school and had
a brief strictly physical relationship with our strictly physical, no emotion.
Then we went dark with each other until reconnecting like

(01:06):
twelve years later. She was fun and we had the
same humor. She was everything I wanted in a mate,
and I loved hanging out with her and her kids.
But then she kept randomly going back to their father,
who is terribly harmful. I tell you all this so
you know why I stayed as long as I did.
I was able to provide for her kids and her
and prevent her from taking them back into a horrible household.

(01:27):
Past forward four years, we had a child together. We
did Christmas, her and I, her two kids, our new
baby girl. I thanked God that I had everything I'd
ever need in my life, and things were good. I'd
later find out that six months later she began sleeping
with her ex. I'd even find out that she'd been
sleeping with him while she was pregnant with our daughter.

(01:47):
The thought makes me physically ill and torments me every day.
I want to leave her, but there were these little children,
and I would rather have gone through the worst torture
imaginable than see them go live with the ex, especially
my daughter, who is my world, but the other kids
as well as I love them very much too. We
went to a marriage counselor, but she would often storm
out and things fell on her and she'd have to

(02:08):
take responsibility. Things got somewhat calmer, but she never seemed
to want to treat me with much love or respect.
Even as I worked my butt off to make sure
we all had everything we needed plus trips, et cetera.
She didn't work at all, so much as being left out.
But I doubt anyone will even read this, it's so long. Anyway,
fast forward to November twenty twenty four. She had almost

(02:28):
never been a participant in our marriage no matter what
I did. I'd given up on all the stuff I
did for so many years to show her how much
I loved her and focused on just being the best
dad and stepdad I could be. Without my being a
good husband. There was nobody participating in the marriage anymore,
so it turned into more of a roommate situation where
I still paid for everything. It should be mentioned that

(02:49):
I constantly begged her to do fun stuff with me
like we used to. I told her that all our
relationship needed was for us to actually try so a night.
It was my friend's father's birthday. This family is my
second family, and I went to the birthday party. It
got late, like midnight, and she texts me to tell
me that since I could spend the night out places,
she's going to as well. She tells me that next

(03:11):
weekend she's going to go out with a friend. I said,
why not go out with your husband? If you're finally
willing to do something, that would be great? Who's going
to meet a guy she worked with someone I'm pretty
sure she'd already been sleeping with. This is a terrible,
terrible situation.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
I don't like this story.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
This is dreadful. I hopee. Is there any way that
we can like have some custody of these kids? Right?

Speaker 4 (03:34):
And wouldn't there possibly be away Like obviously, yeah, we're
worried about all the kids. But he's like and specifically like,
my daughter's never going to that ex's house. Well, you can,
can you say that in the custody agreement?

Speaker 1 (03:45):
Say he's incredibly Do you have any like whatever proof
you have of this, start gathering that proof, right? You know,
the other kids are his, the one kid is his,
The other kids are the exes.

Speaker 4 (03:56):
Yeah, that's what I meant, because, yeah, like, I don't
know that you can necessarily control that situation unfortunately, but
for your own kid, yeah, you one hundred percent can
do something about that.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
I got mad at how stupid this all was, and
we both agreed we should get a divorce and be
done with all this. I was the first to take
off my ring because of how angry all this made me.
The whole marriage. I dreamed of a day she would
actually care and try, that all the suffering would be
worth it and we could all be a happy family.
We all deserved that. This was never going to happen. Unfortunately,

(04:26):
she started openly dating the guy. She would go over
to his house every Friday night and come back with
spicy kiss marks all over her neck like she's seventeen.
She's thirty seven. A couple months into this, I decided
I needed to go out with someone for my own good.
But who? I went on a fifty shades club site
that had previously made an account on for other purposes

(04:47):
long story, other purposes?

Speaker 4 (04:50):
What are the other.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
Purposes of the purposes it does? Fifty Shades club might
be ah, it might be a change because it's in bracket,
So I wonder what the original thing was and talk
to a girl who I eventually met up with. She
did not look like she did in her picks and
I was not attracted classic they never do, but had
lunch with her and decided I needed to at least

(05:11):
give it a shot. We met up a second time
and drove around and then got baked outside the car smoking.
She tried to get me to have spicy sleep with her.
I felt really awkward about it, but gave it the
college try and couldn't do it. Literally, couldn't physically or
mentally do it. I felt really defeated in every way
possible and told this woman that we were just not
going to work out in any way. She flipped out

(05:33):
I was using her very spicy sleep, even though we
never even had spicy sleep and met on a site
about spicy sleep. We spent less than four hours together
total ever, but she went on a Facebook group for
women who think their boyfriend is dating someone else and
put my picture in info up. That's insane.

Speaker 4 (05:52):
Oh that's that Facebook group. Are we dating the same
guy problem?

Speaker 1 (05:55):
That's crazy? Oh my goodness. I felt very violated, but whatever.
A friend of my wife saw this and didn't know
we were no longer together. She informed my ex, who
then got completely unfairly angry. She had zero right to
care or even know. She started saying she was going
to make stuff up so she could leave with the
kids and move to the other side of the country.

(06:15):
I'm flipping out. That's my family, my child. Anyway, last part,
I promise if you are reading this, things calm down.
And we realized we needed each other just to make
it in this terrible economy.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
No no, maybe they.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Mean like divorced, but like okay, welling seems so. We
filed for divorce, but decided to cohabitate for the sake
of the kids. She admitted to being the worst possible wife,
though she still claimed she married me because she loved
me and not just to use me for the money
and stability for the kids. But it was she who
left this marriage if she was ever a part of it,

(06:52):
not me. And yet now I just found out that
she's been telling her family we're divorcing because she found
out I was cheating on her with the woman and
from this website I was using. Can you believe it?
She cheated on me more times than I can count
with an ex and a janitor from her work, and
she's pretending to her family who likes me and recognizes
the stability I brought to her and the kids' lives,

(07:14):
and to look justified. Since she cannot explain any real
reason other than lust and immaturity why she would leave me,
she's trying to lie to everyone about me. So am
I the a Well if I tell everyone the truth?
I have thirteen years of texts outlining how absolutely terrible
she is. I seriously I have about to go through
a ton of counseling. She's a terrible, horrible, deranged person.

(07:34):
And the story right now is that I cheated on
her and broke up our marriage. Honestly. Now, Yeah, yeah,
tell them because at this point, it's not even just
like petty revenge. This is your family is at risk,
to your reputations at risk. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (07:47):
I like too that. He's like, can you believe she
would do?

Speaker 3 (07:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (07:50):
I unfortunately really can.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
It great sucks, Yeah, but I think this is no
longer just like Petty. This is the custody of my
child is at stay you because they could they could
convince her to take your kids away. She could convince
a cord. If she's got like a bunch of people
on her. You know, there are many things at risk
here if you don't tell them the truth.

Speaker 4 (08:12):
And I don't think it's wrong, even just for the
sake of relationships with that part of the face.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
No, exactly like you, you would lose support from them
if they think this is true. Note, please know she
can also be the funniest, most awesome, caring person. Dude,
you don't.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
You don't have to.

Speaker 4 (08:25):
We don't need the back like you opened this.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
Yeah, the worst person ever, you don't. We don't need
to go back. I just haven't seen that version of
her in years now, and honestly very little ever, but
enough for me to fall in love with it. She
was diagnosed with BPD when she was younger, and then
supposedly a second doctor said no, he's like, ah, nah,
you're good.

Speaker 4 (08:45):
That's rough then, because if that is unmedicated BPD, that
needs to be medicated. Yeah, that could honestly be the
cause of a.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Lot of absolutely my heart breaks for her and the kids,
knowing how easily everything could be for us all but
therapy has shown me that is not a realistic thing
to ever expect to happen, and Common one says, you're
both in need of a lot of therapy. My friend
op says, I've been in therapy since we both did
counseling together. She was seeing a therapist for a bit
and it was helping a ton, but then she had

(09:15):
to switch to remote when the VID happened and just
stopped completely and things got terrible after that. My cortisol
levels from stress have been so bad. I've been having
heart issues caused by it. Common two says, not the ale,
tell the family if necessary, but you really only need
to worry about the kids. Document her cheating or these
agreements you two have been having for the courts. Opie says,

(09:35):
her cheating is documented through her family court cases with
the Rex that she cheated on me with, and you
believe I sat in a courtroom holding her hand and
then listening to him tell everyone in court about his
affair with my wife and how long it spanned, and
how it wasn't just spicy sleep but a relationship, how
they would meet as I worked my butt off to
make sure she didn't have to work, when she pretended

(09:57):
to be staying at her mother's and would leave the
kids there with her and meet up with them, et cetera.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
So many.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
Okay, Now she has no choice but to snap out
of this and realize how much better life is for
everyone when she is the version of herself that rocks
and just gives even just a little to her marriage
in the family dynamic. Things are finally going to be
better and make this all worth it. Moments, so so many,
and that's the end of that story. Oh Pee, please
prioritize yourself.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah, please, and your kids.

Speaker 4 (10:26):
Yeah, my wife is obsessed with her coworker. I think
she's cheating on me.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
Stop it.

Speaker 4 (10:34):
Things have been pretty rocky between my wife twenty seven
female and I twenty eight male for several months. We
had a rough twenty twenty, but I thought it was
due to job stress the VID and then she lost
her job while mine got worse. Then she started a
new job and we drifted apart early this year. I

(10:54):
expressed my sadness that we are so distant and haven't
connected in a long time. We haven't been physically intimate either.
By the way, this comes from Cheesecake Okay in ninety
two thirty nine, And if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay, storytime subpredd it.
I'm Carly, I'm Sophia, and we're here to give good
advice goofully, but we don't have all the answers. We

(11:16):
only know what we do, so let us know what
you would do in the comments. In early April, I
started individual therapy and have been trying to share my
thoughts with my wife and be vulnerable and honest. She
told me she feels smothered and needs space, which I've
tried to give her through all of this. She's indicated
that she wants to work on improving things, so I've

(11:37):
had hope that if I keep trying, things will move
forward to a better place. It hasn't giving space, being supportive,
not being controlling. She still seems far away. I brought
this up and said I don't think there's a way
to improve without spending time together addressing it. She said
she had been trying and putting an effort for the
past year. Anne felt like I wasn't doing anything and

(12:01):
now she's burnt out. I apologized and said I'm ready
and willing to fix things now, but I need her
help too. She didn't have much to say to that
because of the distance between us. I've noticed how close
she's gotten with a coworker, a single guy about my age.
They see each other every day, go to lunch almost daily.

(12:24):
My wife frequently stays late at work, and I'm pretty
sure he's always there too. They go out for drinks
and attended soccer games together, just the two.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
Of soccer games alone.

Speaker 4 (12:37):
The soccer games, oh, well, like supervised soccer games with
soccer games?

Speaker 1 (12:43):
Is it like a child soccer game? Is it there?
Do they have a child?

Speaker 4 (12:47):
I know they've gone to his place till after midnight.
This makes me uneasy and hurt. My wife doesn't do
any of this with me. It seems like a chore
for her to spend time with me, but she willingly
and gleefully adores being around this guy. We'll call him Mark.
This has been happening since early March. I didn't bring

(13:10):
anything up because she mentioned she didn't want to make
me sad by hanging out with Mark. Things were rocky
between us, and I wasn't confident enough to assert myself.
I didn't want to be the jealous boyfriend type. As
things deteriorated and I observed her spending most of her
time with him, it's been hurting more. I told her

(13:30):
last week, they're making me uncomfortable. She asked, well, what
do you want me to do about it? I felt
like she should decide what to do with that information.
She never suggested anything, just said I can put my
mind at ease, and it tapered off into her accusing
me of not trusting her. I told her, I trust
her not to do anything physical, but don't trust Mark

(13:51):
because I don't know him. After I said I was uncomfortable,
I didn't want to tell her what to do or
make her feel controlled, but she didn't propose anything to
resolve it. The next few days, she was home more
often and didn't go out for the usual drinks with coworkers.
I could tell she was sad, and I ended up
telling her I want her to be happy and do

(14:11):
what makes her happy. I've spoken with my therapist about this.
I told my therapist. She and Mark see each other
all the time. She actively chooses to spend more time
with Mark than me. She constantly texts him. I've seen
her texting him long threads when I'm lucky. If she
sends me three texts during the day, he's gone out
drinking with him and went to his place, not getting

(14:33):
home until two am. Last weekend, she had Mark dog
sit while I was out of town and didn't tell
me until after. She seems happier when she comes back
from hanging out with him. That reminds me of how
she was when we were first dating, and that crushes me.
From my perspective, I feel like lines have been crossed
that shouldn't be in a marriage. It hurt when I

(14:56):
told my wife her closeness with him makes me uncomfortable,
and she immediately said, well, we are just friends, so
you can put your mind at ease, then immediately shifted to, well,
what do you want me to do about it? He's
one of the few things that have brought me happiness
and support lately, which crushed me.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
Yeah, emotional cheating for sure.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
This past Saturday, she went to a coworker's wedding. Mark
was there. They got wasted, and the DD brought her
home at one am, absolutely wasted. While I was helping
her get into bed, she kept repeating, how Mark is Mark?

Speaker 1 (15:29):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (15:30):
Did Mark get home? I said, I'm sure he's fine.
Then she said I know his number and started saying
my number that hurt. She kept asking about him until
she fell asleep. Now, a couple of days out, I
feel even more like she's lost feeling for me and
is more emotionally invested in him than she's willing to admit.

(15:50):
I want to have an honest conversation, but I'm nervous
it'll come out as accusatory and make her defensive. How
can I broach the subject? How can I get answers
about the dynamic between her and Mark without being accusatory?
Is she emotionally cheating? My therapist said, I should have
this conversation and know my boundaries for what is and

(16:12):
isn't okay. I've confided in close friends and my sister,
and every single one thought it was messed up. That
makes me feel validated, But I don't know the best
way to initiate this conversation. We have an updates. She
could tell if something was up and kept asking what
was bothering me. I finally talked to her. I mentioned
my concerns and said, what's been happening isn't okay and

(16:35):
feels like boundaries are being crossed. She seemed unfhazed and offended.
I'd think something inappropriate was going on. She denied being physical.
She said, I've only been out till two am with
him twice. That's two too many times for me. She
refused to see it from my point of view or
an outside perspective. My wife refuses to believe she's crossing lines.

(16:58):
She wouldn't acknowledge that maybe what she's doing is wrong
or hurtful. He's like my best friend right now. Yeah, well,
why can't I be that? I'm your husband. I'm trying
to work on things, and I feel like there's stuff
you're not telling me. She kept saying, what do you
want me to do? She kept pointing out they haven't
been together too much or stayed out late more than twice.

(17:18):
Her first reaction, rather than being sorry, I'm hurt, was
to say, well, what do you want me to do
about it? She kept deflecting The amount of times doesn't matter.
What matters is that now she knows it's hurting me,
and I'm not going to put up with it anymore.
I told her, I want to be happy and be
with someone who makes me happy. She told me she
loves me and wants to be with me. It felt hollow.

(17:40):
I told her, she seems completely emotionally invested in him,
and there's no more room for me. I feel like
a roommate who sits around while she dates Mark. She
kept saying, we're just friends and I'm not even with
him all that much. She denied physical intimacy. She said
other coworkers have asked if anything is going on between
her and Mark. I asked, what is anything going on means?

Speaker 1 (18:03):
To her?

Speaker 4 (18:04):
She couldn't spell it out. I told her, I find
it hard to believe Mark, a single guy my age,
has anything to gain from being just friends with a
married woman. No matter how good a guy she thinks
he is, he's had the thought cross his mind. She denied.
They talk about their feelings for each other. I don't
believe it. If he knows about our marriage issues, it's
suspicious he continues to hang around. He's waiting for the

(18:27):
off chance we break up. I can't shake the feeling
she's lying to me. I feel gas lit. I told her,
I sat on my true feelings for so long because
I was being too considerate of her feelings and neglecting
my own. I told her, we need to tell each
other the hard stuff and be open and honest and vulnerable.
I'm not going to talk to her about this again.

(18:49):
There's no point. She seems unwilling to accept she's in
the wrong. If another update, I.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
Mean again, I think this is over. Yeah, I think
your relationship is over. It sucks if you've been to therapy.
She refuses to admits she's wrong. You are hurting. She's
clearly not happy in this marriage. That's it, that's it. Yeah,
there's not much else he can do. I think you
just have to like Unfortunately, you set a boundary, she's
crossed it.

Speaker 4 (19:12):
I told her I know about her and Mark. I said,
I don't want to do this anymore and want her
to be happy, but if that includes being with Mark,
I don't want to continue together. We should go our
separate ways. I don't want to be in a marriage
with a woman who isn't in love with me. She
cried and confessed that she and Mark have feelings for
each other.

Speaker 1 (19:32):
Wow, everyone's shocked. Everyone's so shocked.

Speaker 4 (19:36):
But insists nothing physical happened. I told her, regardless, I
don't feel we can continue and we should separate. I
threw out the D word several times, and she got upset,
saying I'd already made up my mind without her and
wasn't discussing it. I told her she had made up
her mind to pursue those feelings with Mark and did
nothing to stop it. She told me I was being

(19:58):
mean and not understand. I said, I can understand her
losing feelings for me and falling in love with someone else,
but I don't have to accept an EA and wasn't
going to put up with this. Then she started begging,
saying it's a rash decision to divorce and we should
try separating first. I said, I know what that will do.

(20:19):
You'll just go off with Mark, right. She didn't answer.
She maintained she doesn't want to jump straight to divorce.
I maintained I see no other option. Even marriage counseling
wouldn't work because of work obligations. I can't just leave,
but I booked a flight to stay with my family
this weekend. I cannot describe the relief I felt when
I told her we should proceed to divorce. The other

(20:40):
feeling was realizing she's made a choice. She's picking him
by not saying she'll cut things off completely with him,
She's made a choice. I don't want to be with
someone who won't choose me and edit for everyone concerned
about the divorce process. Our finances are already separated and
we have very little marital property Under the law. The

(21:01):
biggest dispute will be over our dog. I'm in a
no fault divorce state, and the sixty day separation requirement
is already met as we've been living under the same
roof without spicy related cohabitation for over sixty days. I
don't foresee this being too procedurally or financially difficult, emotionally
and mentally for sure.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
Dang man, Well, wow, there you go.

Speaker 4 (21:24):
Yeah, good on you for holding Yeah that what you
were feeling was true and she was crossing those boundaries.
And that's the end of that story. But we're going
to go to the next one.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
My wife's coworkers got into each other's faces. Now she's
considering resigning.

Speaker 4 (21:40):
Really, that's fair.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
Figger warning physical altercation warning. It was a crazy day.
My wife, thirty four female, has worked at a really
small casual business for about three years with only about
twelve employees. Since I thirty female, work from home, I'll
often go into her office and work from there. They
have extra space and allows me to get some social
interaction and spend more time with my wife. By the way,

(22:03):
this comes from crazies at work, and if you want
to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
Okay storytime subbured it. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, and we're
here to give good advice goofy, but we don't have
all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So
let us know what you would do in the comment.
I've become pretty good friends with everyone because I've been
going in there on and off for three years. The
story involves one girl, thirty five ish female named Jen

(22:26):
and her half sister, Amanda, thirty ish female. My wife
and I are pretty good friends with both of them.
On Thursday, my wife and I went into her office
and brought food and drinks for everyone to enjoy prior
to the holiday. This is pretty regular at this workplace.
Everyone was working, having a good time and getting along.
People started drinking around two thirty because things had slowed down.

(22:47):
The boss also left around this time to go out
of town for the weekend. Jen and another girl were
making fun of Amanda a little and trying to pressure
her into staying at the office until five, so they
could leave early and go to happy hour. Man, being
pregnant and having another young child doesn't always work full
time and obviously doesn't drink. She didn't want to stay,
so her older sister started being rude and making comments.

(23:10):
I was in the room working, so I heard Jen
tell Amanda that she needed the hours because her boyfriend
couldn't support her. Amanda said he was supporting her just
fine right now. Jen then told her he wouldn't be tomorrow.
Amanda got up and walked out, obviously upset and crying.
She asked to use my wife's phone and call the
boss to say she was quitting. She told the boss
her sister was being rude and trying to pressure her

(23:33):
to stay. Next thing I knew, Jen ran up to
her sister, who was crying and cleaning out her desk,
screaming at her that the boss had just texted her
to go ahead and leave for day and that someone
else could stay. They started getting into each other's faces
and doing the whole thing. Hit me. I wish you
what kind of back and forth threatening at this point,
because no one else was. I got in the middle
and told him to calm down and that this wasn't

(23:55):
the place or time for this conversation. Jen screamed at
me to stay the f out of it and that
this was fest our stuff. So I said it still
wasn't the place for it. They walked away from each other,
but Jen was fuming. I went back to my desk.
Someone said something to me and I said I didn't
know why we couldn't just get along, that this wasn't
the way to deal with a problem or the place
to do stuff like this. Jen heard me and walked in,

(24:16):
got in my face, snapped her hand and sarcastically said
thank you. Then she walked away.

Speaker 4 (24:22):
These girls are being so rude, so I will say, like,
don't walk back into the other room and continue.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
To talk about that.

Speaker 4 (24:29):
Probably wasn't the best plan. The shoe girls that are
really heated, right.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Yeah, let's not bring anything up. Another girl, Katie, volunteered
to take Amanda home to help de escalate the situation.
Amanda grabbed her stuff to leave, but had to walk
by Jen's desk, which is sadly by the door. According
to someone else, Jen started saying not to take Amanda
home and to just make her walk. They started yelling
at each other again, pulling up stuff that only sisters know,

(24:54):
like at least my car didn't get repoed. I walked
in when they were in each other's face again. I
stood there frozen for a second, and suddenly Jen plunged forward.
Then they started slugging each other. I ran in and
got between them, yelling at them to stop and physically
trying to pull them off each other. My wife, who
walked in about this time, saw me in the middle
and ran to help. She stood with her arms out

(25:16):
on each of their shoulders, trying to keep them apart.
They were still yelling, so my wife started yelling stop it,
over and over. Jen started yelling at my wife if
you shut the f up. I yelled back, not to
talk to her like that. We stood between them and
started yelling at Amanda to just leave right now, walk
out the door. Amanda eventually walked out. I walked out.

(25:37):
Amanda was outside in Katie's car, about.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
To go home.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
We walked into the back room in shock. We saw
Jen get on the phone and walk into the bathroom.
My wife then saw her run out fast. We heard
someone yell something like my car. Another girl told us
to just stay in the room. We were in a minute. Later,
I had to check and I saw Jen get into
her car and drive off. We found out later that
Jen had run outside open the car and they started

(26:01):
it again. That was Katie yelling, they're fighting in my car.
She pulled them off each other and took Amanda home.
Other people in the office were saying they didn't want
this to get back to the boss. It should. These
girls should get fired. Don't get one sisters. They said,
Jen and Amanda had a tough life and basically we
shouldn't have gotten involved. That is ridiculous. Come on, you

(26:23):
are in a place of work. You are supposed to
be professional. I don't care if your sisters and you've
had a tough life. Be professional. Eventually, we got a
call from Amanda that she had called the police, and
she texted me to ask if Jen was still there
because the police were bringing her back. She also called
the boss, who contacted my wife and said she was
on her way back. The police came and got my
name in number since I witnessed it. The cop asked

(26:45):
who started it, and I told the truth. Jen started
it verbally, but Amanda wouldn't walk away. They were in
each other's face and Jen hit first. After this, the
cop left and Amanda was just there crying. She started
telling us things about Jen and her upbringing we didn't know.
She said that her mom and Jen had always been
so mean to her. How should we handle it? What
should my wife say to the boss? Should she still

(27:06):
work there? If they let them both stay? And there
is an update? Say the truth?

Speaker 4 (27:11):
Yeah, the truth.

Speaker 1 (27:12):
I think you just say what you witnessed, that you
got in between it to stop it, because no one
else was willing to help you.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
Guys, you got yelled at.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
And then the police were called. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (27:23):
I don't think there's any need for any other information
except exactly what happened that day. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
And I don't think that your wife has to leave
necessarily unless she is uncomfortable, unless Jen and a Mana
both stay and make her uncomfortable.

Speaker 4 (27:36):
Yeah, I don't think she has to leave, But I
also could totally, Like if she comes to you and
she's like, I want to leave.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Yeah, then absolutely, then she's no longer comfortable in this workplace. Update.
I'd like to clarify a few things. This behavior isn't
a regular occurrence, not at my wife's work, and definitely
not in our life. This was the first time we
had witnessed anyone acting like this. My wife works at
a very casual and creative place. She's a graphic designer.
People sometimes bring their pets, children, and essos to work.

(28:04):
They often eat lunch together as a company and make
an effort to celebrate and enjoy each other. Sometimes booze
is involved, other times it isn't. It is a family
owned business. The owner is a very nice guy and
as a tendency to hire people that need second chances
of life. Him and his wife also have six children
of varying nationalities, all adopted. Because of the owner's tendency
to give everyone a chance, it has resulted in some

(28:26):
bad hires. He'll often hire family of current employees just
to help them out. They come from some rough backgrounds
and often say things like f the police and snitches
get stitches. Jen was actually hired first and Amanda was
hired based on her recommendation. All accounts, they've both been
very nice people at work in great employees up until
this point. For clarity, the owner was out on vacation

(28:48):
last week and the manager, April, was there all week
and left only a short time before the drama. Went down,
I decided it was best for me to stay out
of her work drama for this week and not go in.
We didn't hear from anyone over the weekend. The police
also haven't contacted me. When she showed up Monday, neither
Jen nor Amanda were there. My wife asked April if
they'd be coming in, and she said they were not

(29:09):
coming in that day, but they were still deciding what
to do. Once the owner got in, he asked my
wife what she thought about the event, and she told
the truth. Amanda did a lot of things wrong and
should have walked away, but Jen was definitely the instigator.
She also told them she was scared of Jen after
seeing her behave that way, and that it would be
very hard to work with her. He said, you know,
I want to give everyone a second chance. My wife

(29:31):
was floored. She said she understood second chances, but when
it came to violence, it was a risky second chance
to take on behalf of every other employee. He even
mentioned Jen coming in on Tuesday. My wife was definitely
not happy. He said he wanted to give Amanda the
same chance, but that she had quit before this went
down and didn't think there was any chance she'd come back.
He thought he might have them work on alternate days.

(29:54):
I think if he hadn't talked to my wife, he
would have had them, or at least Jen, come back immediately.
Important note that the other witnesses besides my wife and
myself were Jen's cousin and her lifelong friend. They were
clearly more hesitant to say anyone was the instigator or
take a stand that either should be fired. My wife
was the only one willing to paint an accurate picture

(30:14):
of what happened. Everyone seemed willing to get over it,
move on and put on a happy face, except my wife.
April seems to really understand the severity, but the owner doesn't.
We basically decided that if Jen came back, my wife
would start looking for new jobs and leave ASA. We
are genuinely scared for her to work with her, especially
with the mentality of the employees and the fact my

(30:35):
wife and I intervene. Not to mention, my wife has
spoken up and said she doesn't feel either of them
should come back, but especially Jen. Today my wife went
in and they weren't there. She immediately talked to April
and said, I don't want to be the only one
with a problem with her working here. If I am,
then maybe I'm the odd one out. April said, you
aren't the odd man out. More people feel this way,

(30:55):
not sure who, because no one else is acting like it.
My wife said, the owner indicated she would be back soon,
and April said, no, it will be a while before
she can come back, not really saying if she has orsen't,
just that it won't be now. The police also stop
by the office today. Apparently they can't get a hold
of Amanda anymore. I know she's okay because she's been
posting on Facebook. I think she's just scared to follow

(31:16):
through with pressing charges. Snitches get stitches. Oh what do
you guys think? Are we the crazy ones for feeling
like Jen should not work there any longer? Should my
wife be willing to put on a smile and work
with this person, or should she continue to be vocal
about her desire for Jen not to return. Does the
fact that they wanted her to come back makes my
wife want to quit? But at the same time, they

(31:36):
really seem to respect her and her opinion and only
seem to reconsider when she disagreed.

Speaker 4 (31:42):
That one's like, so I think at most you go
back to the boss one more time. Yeah, you re
expressed your concerns. You can add into that, I will
probably be leaving. And if she stays yes, and after
that though, I don't think you can, like if you
decide to say, you can't really.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
Keep bringing no. I agree.

Speaker 4 (32:01):
And that's the end of that story. But we're gonna
go to the next one.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
Hey y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get
back to the story. So but here's a quick three
minute break from as for more sponsors.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
My wife left her wedding ring with my mother in law.
I'm afraid she'll lose it.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
She might throw it down the ditch.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
So yesterday my wife, let's call her Ruby, twenty one female,
went to visit her mom like she usually does on weekends.
I twenty two mail work weekends outside the house, but
weekdays I'm remote and her mom works Monday to Friday,
so it's the only time they really get to see
each other. No issue there. Ruby is currently on maternity
leave and our baby is due next week, so I

(32:37):
totally get that she wants to spend time with her
mom while she can. By the way, this comes from
champ Ooh seventeen and if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime, Separate
It and I'm Angie, I'm Riley, and we're here to
give good advice goofully, but we're not experts. We're just
gonna guess what we would do in these situations. But
let us know what you would do in the comments.
Oh P says here's where things went off. Ruby came

(32:59):
home in a taxi and told me she accidentally left
her wedding ring at her mom's place. She took it
off because it was hot and her fingers were swollen
pregnancy stuff. I didn't get angry or anything, just asked
where she left it and said let's go back and
grab it. I offered to drive us since I didn't
want to wait. That's when it started getting tense. She
tried explaining over the phone that her mom would keep
it safe and we could pick it up tomorrow. I

(33:21):
heard her out, but I wasn't comfortable with waiting. I
was polite, calm, didn't insult anyone, but I insisted that
we go get it now. I even said that I
could go alone. After helping her go upstairs, but she
didn't want that either. By the time she got home,
I was already waiting in the car. She got out
of the taxi clearly upset and pushed me away. When
I tried to help her with her bag, she gave

(33:43):
me the silent treatment while calling her mom to say
that we were coming back for the ring. Then she
finally asked, why are you doing this? Why can't you
trust her? And that's where I lost my cool a little,
not yelling or anything, but I stopped sugarcoating. I told
her the truth. No, I don't trust her mom. She
knows why. Her mom once lost our engagement ring during

(34:05):
a rough patch and it magically showed up months after.
This same thing happened when with many other sentimental items
I gave her and some of them never reappeared. Ruby
insists it was just a mistake, But to me, there
isn't a reason to blindly trust mother in law. That
wasn't the only thing either. Her mom has insulted me,
made insulting comments about my background, and has never apologized

(34:28):
for any of it. I listed those things out not
to throw them in Ruby's face, but because she kept
asking why, I asked her why her mom gets all
this grace for doing things. She just wished me to
my grave yesterday because Ruby was feeling sick while I
was picking up her meds. But I can't even state
the facts without her getting upset. She cried. I comforted her,

(34:51):
apologize for being harsh, and made it clear that I
wasn't trying to attack her or her mom. I was
just being honest. I told her, I don't believe her
mom would purposefully throw away the ring, but based on history,
I wasn't willing to risk it getting misplaced again. If
I ever wanted to test whether things had improved, it
wouldn't be with something as personal as our wedding ring.

(35:12):
So we went back. Her mom gave me the usual
cold stare, but at this point I don't care anymore.
Later Ruby and I talked. She said she understood and
forgave me, but she still felt hurt about the way
it went down. I didn't yell, I didn't insult anyone.
I just acted quickly, maybe too quickly, and didn't give
her time to process it. So I agreed and apologized
for that part, but I still feel down about all

(35:34):
of this as well. In my defense, I just panicked
a bit. I valued that ring a lot, and when
something feels urgent, I move Ruby is actually Ruby has
actually thanked me for being that way in past situations.
But after seeing my wife still so sad about this,
I'm wondering if I should have just let it go.
So yeah, I don't know. I feel like I did

(35:55):
the right thing, but maybe in the wrong way. How
do I fix this? And am I the a hole?
And we do? You have a small update? The baby
is born. You as completely safe and sound. My wife
and son are sleeping right now. I'm checking on babies
so Ruby can get some sleep. She did great and
apologized for everything. She said. She was just nervous about
today and wanted all of us to be okay so

(36:16):
there wouldn't be any drama at the hospital.

Speaker 1 (36:18):
A spoiler, there.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
Wasn't any drama, huh. I know the woman I chose
to spend my life with, and she's a great person.
She cares about her mom as much as she cares
about me. But she did admit that she overreacted and
wanted to support me more. I know this isn't the
end of the story. We already started thinking about some
boundaries to make and this is just the start of
our lives together. Hopefully when I come back with updates,

(36:42):
it will be good news. Good night, guys. I'll do
my best to stay up. And thanks for all the advice,
even the sharp comments. I read all of them, and
you gave me grounds and confidence to set up some
boundaries and communicate better with my wife. And guess what
we got an update. Hey everyone, it's been about three
months since baby first. Because that's the best part. Our

(37:03):
little guy is three months old and thriving. He was
a chunky newborn and he's only getting bigger. He hit
sixteen pounds and two foot one right before his six
two month check up. Healthy, happy, and smiling more every day.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
All right. In the comments put us in the percentile
of where this child is. Yeah, I'm filling ninety seven percentile.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
Oh you think, oh yeah, Does that mean that ninety
seven percent of babies are this way or no?

Speaker 3 (37:29):
No, that means he's like, out of one hundred babies,
he's in the top three percent of big babies.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
Okay, So onto the mother in law situation. Well, it's
been a ride, some ups, plenty of downs, but I've
learned to manage it. So I don't lose my mind, Deliell.
A lot of you suspected that she was pawning stuff,
and yep, you nailed it. What yeah, I mean, why
else would she be taking this valuable stuff and not
returning it. My sister in law eighteen female, recently asked

(37:57):
Ruby for money to cover payments on their mom's on jewelry.
We ended up lending them about two thousand dollars so
they could just recover their stuff altogether. It's been a
month and no repayment. Yet somehow they're always struggling, even
with low rent which is less than one thousand dollars
and food stamps. But that's another story, dude.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
No matter how much money people have, you don't know
how to manage it, you're going to be broken.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
Yeah, if you need to borrow that much, then it's
kind of like what we need to do to in
the first place. Happened to our plan to pay it
back to the other person in the first place. I've
tagged along for a few lunches at mother in law
since Ruby has started seeing through more of her mom's
bs and doesn't like being alone there anymore. Funny thing,
even though we invite her to our place whenever she wants,

(38:45):
she refuses because she quote doesn't feel comfortable. I've offered
to leave the house or stay in our room so
they can have privacy, but nope, if it's not on
her terms, it's nothing. So Gladly for me, visits are
way less often as I'm back to work already, and
until my wife feels comfortable again, I should be there
with them. The worst part is the verbal stuff. Mother

(39:06):
in law never says it when I'm around, but when
she's mad, she yells at Ruby and throws out nasty
comments about me or even our baby. She's said things
like our son will grow up to hit Ruby what,
or that bad things will happen to her because of
how she treats mother in law. It's gross. Ruby's been
doing therapy and we agreed our son doesn't need to

(39:27):
grow up. Hearing that, she explained the best she could
to mother in law that visits stop when she acts
like that. Her response, he must be used to it already.
I've behaved this way since he was in your belly,
so yeah, I wasn't taken aback. I see mother in
law for her true colors. But Ruby got very disappointed.
That day reality check past. After one particularly bad yelling

(39:50):
match just days after we loaned them the two thousand dollars,
we went low contact for a couple of weeks. Eventually,
mother in law showed up at our door with some
of Ruby's old stuff that she found, which are plus
she's and such, in what felt like a big victim
performance of how much she had to walk. We live
fifteen minutes away walking or she could have taken a bus,
but okay, yeah, fifteen minute walk would be like a

(40:11):
five minute drive, like honestly, well, I don't think gis car.
Well yeah, op said that she could take the bus, yeah,
or get a taxi that Ruby always got from her place.
No real apology, but Ruby says she kind of half
apologized later. So they're talking again. As for childcare plans
because Ruby's going back to work soon, mother in law

(40:32):
had offered free babysitting, but that's off the table. She's
joked about spanking our son to quote correct him, and
he wasn't even two months old when she said that,
and she suggested giving him water in the summer. Whether
that's ignorance Ruby's take or something darker my take, it's
a hard no, we're hiring a sinner, actually my mom

(40:53):
who does this professionally and will pay her because our
kid deserves patience and love, not someone with random anger
blow ups. Yeah that is there's a little bit more
to the story. But yeah that if she is a
mom and she has raised newborns, she should know that
you can't give them water for a good while. So

(41:13):
I feel like it isn't just ignorance, it's just stupidity,
or yeah, maybe it's some I doubt she's trying to
hurt the baby. I really doubt that, but I it
could just be something for control of like, oh, yeah,
I'm gonna do this, baby will be like fine, even
even though that's like not what OP wants.

Speaker 3 (41:34):
And something's gonna happen and mother in law's gonna be
but I did my best. It's like, no, you can
do your best. You have to you have to do
the right thing.

Speaker 2 (41:43):
Yeah, because a baby's life is on the line here
if you just don't do well enough or something. But yeah,
good thing. They're not letting her baby sit. But there
is a little bit more to the story. So for now,
mother in law still sees the baby, but only supervised anymore.
Screaming and visits stop again. I doubt she'll ever change.
Therapy is quote for crazy people, according to her, So

(42:06):
we're just keeping contact as low as Ruby will allow.
I'll save my venting for Reddit and my therapist.

Speaker 4 (42:13):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
That's pretty much it, though, thanks to everyone who gave
me advice last time. My mom she studied psychology, and
a couple of friends think mother in law might have
my polar or borderline personality disorder, but she'll never get
a diagnosis because she won't set foot in therapy. So whatever.
For now, the plan is just healthy baby, happy home,
and minimal mother in law.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
And that's the end of that story.

Speaker 4 (42:35):
Hey, it's Sam.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
We're going to get back to the stories.

Speaker 2 (42:37):
But here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (42:39):
My mother in law called me her surrogate and tried
to read am or baby.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
Hey, so the father of that baby is your son.
Let's think about.

Speaker 3 (42:48):
That trigger warning or lose My husband thirty and I
thirty one. I've been married for a year. This is
my second marriage and his first. We met on a
dating app and hit it off immediately. We got very close,
very quickly. It was a shock to everyone in my
life due to the messy divorce and terrible marriage I've
just been through. By the way, this comes from a

(43:08):
Sea driver sixty six and if you want to make
your own stories, go to the r slash okay story
time subreddit. I'm Riley and I'm Angie, and we're here
to give good advice coolfully, but we don't have all
the answers. We only know what we do know, So
let us know what you know in the comments below.
I have one daughter from a previous relationship, and my
husband has always treated her as his own and has

(43:30):
been an amazing father figure. After dating for a couple
of months, we found out we were pregnant. As far
as our relationship and immediate family, with our kids and
our marriage, it's perfect for me. I have never been
happier with partner. The issue is his family. He comes
from a two parent household. Former military. They both moved
around a lot and were stationed in Europe. His dad

(43:52):
is very successful and supports the whole family. His mom
was a stay at home mom and later a caretaker
for her ill mother. He has one younger sister, twenty seven,
who lives on a home trying to finish college up
until last year. His maternal grandmother lived in the home.
When she got really ill, his mom's sister moved in
as well. His father's side of the family lives in

(44:15):
a rural mountain community about nine hours away from us.
When we first got together, my husband needed a hip
transplant at twenty seven. He was recovering at his parents' house.
During this time, I met and began spending a lot
of time with his family. His dad clearly loved his mom,
and I respected him for it. His mom, on the
other hand, was a walking ball of anxiety. Every single

(44:37):
thing sets her off. She hyperfixates, she freaks out, her
voice becomes very high, and she gets confrontational because she
can't let things go. I noticed it when she was
giving my husband his medications after surgery. She couldn't let
others help because she had to be the one to
have control, or she was convinced he would take too

(44:58):
many meds pass away. She would ask me about my
past marriage and seem supportive, but her anxiety would pun
in and she would go on for hours, bringing things
back up and interrupting new conversations. I would watch as
she would hound her daughter for being too anxious or depressed,
My mother in law would scream and call her to

(45:19):
utter names, their curse of people they weren't agreeing with her.
I watched her do it with her own mother. Oh wow,
my father in law, my husband, her sister, and countless others.
Then it turned on me a little. When we first
told them we were expecting, I was scared. They surprised
me at first. They were really happy about the baby.
This whole family was so supportive verbally in the beginning.

(45:41):
My mother in law would ask daily what her grandma
name would be. They checked in, asked about our future,
and encourage us to buy a home. We moved in
with my mom so she could help us with the
new baby and my older child. It also allowed my
husband to bum in with my family. My first child
has autism. I have a lot of medical issues, and
my pregnancy with my second was very hard. There was

(46:03):
a high risk of losing the baby for most of
my pregnancy, which was incredibly stressful. His family knew this,
and his mom's anxiety and some internal biases began to show.
It started with questions about autism. I'll let them know,
and my second was at higher risk for autism since
I already have one with the condition. My mother in

(46:23):
law and father in law would insistently ask how I
would know if my youngest would be autistic or potentially
just copying their older sibling. I had to get research
from my doctor and have my daughter specialists talk to
them because it was super invasive and stressful. They were
also too afraid the baby sent my older child on

(46:44):
their role, and since they don't understand autism, it hurt
that it didn't seem like they were fully accepting her.
But then they would buy her gifts and ask about her,
so I thought I was just being sensitive and dropped it.
I really didn't want a general reveal or baby shower,
but since this was my husband's first child to go
through with this experience, I wanted him to have the memory,

(47:06):
so I agreed they're both as parents' house. The generalville
was okay. This is when I started getting name suggestions
from his mom. Oh no, I politely decline and said
my husband and I would pick a name together. I
didn't realize how this would become such a big deal.
A month later, his grandma turned eighty. We were going
to throw her a big party. Last minute, my mother

(47:28):
in law had an anxiety attack and decided to cancel
most of the party. The band wasn't coming. She told
friends not to come. Grandma was devastated. We did something
super low key instead with just family. While waiting for
some family to arrive, my mother in law sat me
down and told me she was excited for the baby.
She reminisced about when she was pregnant. Then she said,

(47:49):
it's crazy that I'm going to be your grandma. You're
essentially my surrogrit mother, carrying on my bloodline, my family.
I was floored. I quickly excused myself and my sister
while I found me crying in another room.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
My gosh, ah.

Speaker 3 (48:05):
You're just a baby making a machine.

Speaker 2 (48:07):
To her, that's awful.

Speaker 3 (48:10):
A grandchild bearing circuit. Ah. She got my husband and
I and told them what happened, but not to make
a big deal during the party. They didn't understand what
I meant, and got just meant, don't tell their mom,
So they went to their dad and told him. He
immediately went to his wife and told her right there

(48:31):
in the middle of the birthday party. Eighty year old Grandma.
She confronts me and wants to talk about it in
front of everyone.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (48:40):
Ah, I was mortified. I was pregnant and ill. She
went on and on about how I misunderstood her and
that's not how she meant it. Then she tried to
explain it better. It wasn't better.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
Oh now I'm so scared.

Speaker 3 (48:57):
Sheained, basically, you're carrying my child, but I'm the grandmother
of it. And right, you're sohw surrogated.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
It's just so beautiful that, like, our our bloodline is
so important, and now you're you're carrying my son's DNA
and you can create another one of him, and that's
what you're here for. Like that's I'm so scared. What
is it gonna be?

Speaker 3 (49:21):
What does this mean? And then she said she was
sorry and I misunderstood her, which isn't an apology at all.
My husband was so embarrassed and angry. He and his
mom have gotten into a lot of fights over that
one comment alone over the years. Oh wow, And the
baby shower came around some of his family from the
Mountains game and it was my first time eating them.

(49:42):
They weren't as friendly as I thought. His family from
the Mountains didn't interact with my family at all. When
my daughter with autism. Tried to play with them. They
weren't kind to her. At this point, we had recently
announced our youngest name. It was not well received. It's
not traditional, it's not a family We weren't married when
I gave birth, so our child has two last names

(50:04):
ours combined. It's did it go over well? When we
began opening gifts, I noticed all the cards, books, and
gifts were made out to the middle name of our
baby or the middle name and my husband's last name.
Checks were written to this name that doesn't even exist.
I found out it wasn't because they liked the middle
name better. They didn't like my last name or the

(50:25):
first name we chose. They all decided they were going
to call our baby by that instead. I was so upset.
I cried, and my family was floored. It was so disrespectful.
His mom would later say that she felt she deserved
to be consultated in naming our baby because she's the grandmother.
She had given us a handwritten list of names as

(50:47):
she liked and approved of, and our baby's name was
on there. We ended up having a family meeting because
my husband and I were so upset. The surrogate comment
was brought up as well when my father in law
threw it in my face my first child did have
two last names. I had to explain again my harmful
first marriage and how I wasn't allowed to pick having
two last names. They didn't care. I was hospitalized a

(51:09):
couple of times for health concerns with the baby. My
doctor recommended that those around the newborn needed to be
up to date on their vaccines and flew shots so
the baby wouldn't get sick. We told this to everyone
they had to have shots at least two weeks before
meeting the baby. His family waited until we were in
labor to do anything about getting the shots. There were

(51:29):
a lot of complications during giving birth and we almost
passed away, so when we got out, we were strict
about the shots and his family was mad, and we
held that boundary for the full two weeks. When they
came over, they took the baby from my arms and
only gave her back to breastfeet. My mother in law
tried pressuring me into giving a formula and bottles so

(51:52):
she could feed the baby. I didn't like that, so
I said no politely. I hated going to their house.
They ignored our wishes about giving the baby back when
she was upset so I or my husband could soothe her.
I was freshly postpartum and had some PTSD from birth,
and they still didn't respect those boundaries. We asked them
not to kiss her on the face since she was

(52:14):
sick when she was born, and we ended up having
to go to the hospital when she was a couple
of weeks old. H turns out they kissed her anyway
and possibly gave her the crud they had. She had
to have multiple rounds of suction to help her breathe.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
Oh my gosh, so she really the baby really was
messed up from that.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 (52:35):
Thankfully she was okay, okay, But it was just another
situation where they did whatever they wanted. We stopped coming
over as often and I avoided them to stay out
of the drama. I was respectful when I was there,
but didn't go above and beyond anymore. Any advice, please,
we have an update. I think just doubling down low contact.

Speaker 2 (52:56):
Yeah, yeah, dude, I don't know if they come over
without a warning or something without your invite and maybe
like print out the medical receipts, the hospital receipts to
you know, show hey when my three week old baby
or however old he was, your baby was like, this

(53:18):
is how much money we had to spend at the
hospital to save his life because someone didn't respect our wishes.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
Someone someone, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
Again, honestly call her out just because you were kissing
her face and you were not doing what I asked.
So if you're not going to keep our baby safe,
I'm going to keep her safe and keep her out
of the hospital. Yep, by not letting you around it anymore.

Speaker 3 (53:41):
We have an update. A couple of months later, I
graduated college and found my job in a field. My
mother in law offered to be our childcare since she
doesn't work, which saved us thousands of dollars a month.
We were super grateful, and I tried to let things
go since she was helping us. My husband proposed a
month after the birth of our daughter. We wanted something
low key and small with their close friends and family.

(54:05):
We began planning and I invited my mother in law
to go wedding dress shopping with me. Things started going
downhill the week I went back to work. Around that time,
my mother in law's mom began to decline in her health.
It was very sad, and I had so much empathy
for my mother in law. I lost my father at
a young age, so I completely understood and wanted to
support her in grief. The whole time, my mother law

(54:28):
reassured us that she would still watch the kids for
us while I went back to work. The day before
I started my first day, she told us she couldn't
do it. I was upset, didn't say anything because I
understood these were crazy circumstances. My sister in law stepped
up and offered to watch the kids the first week,
and my mother in law would resume after that. My

(54:48):
sister in law is twenty seven. The whole week, I
would rush home after work and find that she was
on the couch playing video games and ignoring the kids.
Both kids diapers were so full and dropping that the
kids developed rashes by the end of the week. Oh
oh my gosh, soo, we said, haven't played video games?

Speaker 4 (55:07):
Come on?

Speaker 3 (55:08):
Who? I told her tom and time again. She couldn't
let it get that bad. My husband and her got
to a big fight about it. To this day, over
a year later. We don't let her watch the kids unsupervised.
The following week, my mother in law's mom passed away.
She'd been sick for years. It was very sad, but
we were prepared as best as you can be. My

(55:29):
mother in law kind of spiraled. She tried watching the kids,
but it was too hard. She continually expressed how she
didn't know what to do with my oldest since she
is a normal and has autism. She got to the
point that she offered to watch her only bilogical grandchild
and we'll cover the cost of childcare for my oldest daughter.
I was so upset. That was a dagger to the heart.

(55:52):
I hated the plaintant favoritism, but I didn't want to
make it worse, so I made arrangements and sent them
the prices for childcare. Well, it was expensive, so she
didn't want to pay it, but also didn't want to
watch her either. Ended up being negotiated that she would
watch her three days a week and I would outsource
to a family friend to watch my older daughter twice

(56:13):
a week, and we would cover the costs. This was
all happening while our wedding was quickly approaching. I gave
all the details to the family about where to go,
what time, and dress code. Everything. I covered the cost
of my mom's sister, my brother's girlfriend, and my best
friend for hair and makeup. My mother in law then
made an appointment to get her hair and makeup done,

(56:34):
but made a comment about not being included. I was
confused because I had offered months beforehand and she never
got back to me, so I assume she didn't want to.
I was accused of not telling them what was going on,
and there was a big fight the week of the
wedding about how they didn't know the schedule or what
to do. I was so confused and brought up how
I sent them everything. We had multiple conversations. She then said, well,

(56:57):
my mom passed away, so I forgot and you should
would have done more to remind me. The day of
the wedding comes, my sister in law wasn't sure if
she was gonna make it in time because she skipped
so many college classes. My husband was really upset, but
we focused on having a good day. We had her
private vows and then did photos with the family. My
mother in law didn't want to be in any photos
with me, only just group photos are ones where my

(57:19):
husband was involved. I called out to everyone before the
photographer left that if we missed any combinations of people
to let me know.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
Now, let us know we're casting this net and making
it known that it will not be our faults if
anything happens.

Speaker 3 (57:35):
No one said anything and the photographer left. It was
that moment my sister in law came to me in
front of everyone, asked me if I was mad at
her because I didn't take a photo with her. To
be honest, I didn't know she was even there. I
was so mentally exhausted from the day.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
Oh good, that's pretty good girl.

Speaker 3 (57:57):
Come on. But I got myself together and asked her
why I shouldn't say anything with the photographer, asked for
last call. She just stayed silent and cried and made
it seem like I was being mean to her. I
was shocked. I tried to talk to her, but it
was in the middle of the wedding and I didn't
have time, so I asked if we could talk after
the wedding and headed through the reception. We got through

(58:18):
the reception and my husband and I had a lovely time,
ignored all the drama and focused on celebrating. Well. There
was a miscommunication about the minimum food and drink we
had to buy something expensive or be charged anyway, we
decided to splurge and buy a bottle of a very
adult beverage. It was one thousand dollars bottle of champagne.

(58:41):
We had a glass each and then let a few
friends taste it. My father in law mother in law
were staying at an airbnb nearby, so we asked if
we could drop the bottles off before going to a
bar crawl with friends. They agreed. The next morning, we
went to get the bottle and discovered that they drank
the rest themselves. What else do you expect that these

(59:02):
people come on? You gotta expect the worst. When I
express that we were upset since that was our wedding
bottle of champagne. It costs a lot of money, the
actor like it was nothing and brushed it off. I
also want to add most of my husband's family decided
not to come to the wedding last minute, and we
had empty tables that we paid money for one hundred

(59:23):
and seventy five dollars a person that we didn't get back.
A month later, my husband got laid off and got
a new job on night shift. My mother in law
never watched the kids again for us during the day
after that. I want to say that we never asked
her to do it, she offered. She said time and
time again that she wanted to be an involved grandparent,
but every time she would cancel or drop the ball,

(59:45):
that would be a fi and she would apologize but
say she was sad about her mother's passing. My father
in law would defend her, my sister in law would
defend her, and it got to the point where it
felt like me and my husband was against the rest.
They also would throw in our face if they helped
us with money at all. They felt they didn't have
to participate if they were being able to throw money

(01:00:06):
at something instead, but held it over our heads, so
we stopped going to them if we hit a rough patch.
Then my mother in law decided staying in the house
was too much for her. She started going on one
to two month long vacations every other month for a year.
We never knew when she would be in town or not.
She would get back and talk all about the great

(01:00:26):
time she had. My husband and herd got into arguments
that she basically bailed the first year of her only
grandchild's life. But she again threw her mother's passing in
her faces while they were on one of their vacations.
We didn't tell them to put an offer to a house.
We didn't ask for anything from them or help with
closing costs. We thought they would be happy since they
had been pressuring us to buy a home for two years,

(01:00:49):
but we could tell that they felt some type of
way about being left out of the process. Through this,
we discovered that my father in law likes feeling needed
financially and it may them feel good help or have
that power over his kids. Okay, I get the helping part,
but stop holding that over people. What the heck, dude?

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
Yeah, like, what what about the I'm sorry? What did
you say about having the power over your kids?

Speaker 4 (01:01:14):
Hey?

Speaker 3 (01:01:14):
You remember those Z rings about you the other day? Yeah?
I bought those for you. Don't forget that I got that.
Remember that necklace too?

Speaker 4 (01:01:21):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:01:21):
That why one that I got that?

Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
Cool?

Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
Everyone? I got that for her?

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
Yeah, big red flag.

Speaker 3 (01:01:26):
That really takes the joy out of the present.

Speaker 2 (01:01:29):
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (01:01:30):
A present is something you give without any any.

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
Sort of like strings attached, string.

Speaker 3 (01:01:36):
Attached or anything you want back expectations from it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
Yeah, now you owe them something.

Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
Yeah, they're like, oh, give me some big thank you,
kiss our feet every time you see us.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
It's like, I'm just gonna give them necklace bag.

Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
Actually, we bought the house and they never came over.
They expected us to put both kids in the car
to go thirty minutes away to their house every week.
Their house isn't baby or kid proofd and things get moved,
are broken, and they get upset. So we don't like
to go. Guys, we got a little bit left here, Angelina. Yeah,
where's the line here? Where was your line in this

(01:02:08):
whole story?

Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
I think the line could have been earlier than this,
but it was definitely at hospitalizing the baby because they
wanted to kiss her face.

Speaker 3 (01:02:18):
Oh yeah, I was gonna say, like wedding time, after
the wedding, Yeah, we're done.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
Dude.

Speaker 3 (01:02:26):
I just can't. I can't. I don't like the person
I am around you, guys.

Speaker 2 (01:02:29):
Yeah, it's just one problem after an next. You don't
care about me. You just don't. You don't care about
me at all. I'm supposed to be a part of
your family. I'm being extremely disrespected by you, and it
freaking sucks. So I just am not gonna really invite
you to things exactly and like I just don't understand
why some of these people are just like, God, why

(01:02:50):
aren't you doing all of this for me when I'm
like terrible to you? Why don't you want me around
when I'm like so mean to you? It's like, do
you want to say that again?

Speaker 3 (01:02:58):
Come on now. Currently, I barely speak with any of
my in laws. I'm borderline no contact. My husband speaks
to them on the phone, and we see them from
time to time when they're in town. They are in
the process of moving to the mountains, but they don't
like to tell people or act like they're conflicted about
going because last month a friend of theirs said they

(01:03:18):
thought it was weird that they were moving away from
their only grandchild. So my mother in law thinks other
people think she's a bad grandma. So she says she
doesn't know if she's going to move or stay here.
But as we write this, she is in the mountains
meeting with builders to build their dream house. Now, guys,
let's see that story end this episode. So wow, love us.
Make sure to subscribe We love you and see you tomorrow.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;} My wife CHEATED while pregnant...but now she’s telling everyone I'm the cheater! -r/AITAH | Reddit Stories