October 8, 2025 • 52 mins
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00:19 r/BestofRedditorUpdates - [1] My wife had her wild phase before me, and now that I’m finally thriving, I feel like I missed out, am I wrong for feeling this way?
12:40 r/BORUpdates - Rekindle relationship with my husband after neighbour's husband admitted being the catfish
22:30 r/okstorytime - (23F) want to take a break from my husband (24M) after 6 years together. Am I giving up too easily?
39:37 r/relationships - My[25/F] husband's [27M] parents have no concept of boundaries. What do I do? (X-post r/relationship_advice)
Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is intergalactic John. This is Airlien Salm on the
International Okay Storytime podcast station, and we have some human
stories coming up, not alien, but before we make a landing,
stick around for this two minute not alien ad break
before we get to these interstellar stories. O.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
My wife had a wild phase before marriage, and now
I feel left out.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Time to go back in Zime.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
I've been married to my wife for five years, together
for eight, and we have two beautiful children. She's been
my first everything, my first girlfriend, my first real relationship,
my first in every sense.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
She was the first person to breastfeed.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
You that you can remember, probably hmmm, that you could remember.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
I didn't really date in high school or college because honestly,
I didn't take care of myself. I lacked confidence and
didn't feel attractive, so I stayed focused on other things
like studying the Blade. By the way, this comes from
user head specific sixty seven sixty three, and if you
want usbmit your own stories, go to the Arslashokay Storytime subreddit.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, and op says. My wife, on
the other hand, had a more typical college experience quote unquote.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
She went to the University of Miami. She went to
the University of Arizona.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Technically that one's not a issue, yeah, but they still
get after it.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
She had a few relationships and her phase as she
was extremely attractive.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
She even did stuff with two guys at the same job.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
She was upfront about it when we started dating, and
it never bothered me, although I tried not to think
about it too much.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Now here's the thing.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Over the years, she's become quite reserved when it comes
to intimacy. She says she had her wild side during college,
and now that she's done with that phase, she prefers
a more traditional approach to intimacy. She says she's tried
everything she wanted to and know what she enjoys and
what she doesn't in the boudoir, and she wants to
(02:05):
build intimacy on love, not wild lust. And I completely
respect that. I'm not trying to do something which doesn't
excite her in the bedroom. But lately I've changed. I'm
in the best shape of my life physically, mentally and emotionally.
Even my family and friends are kind of shocked with
how I look. My wife loves the new me and
(02:26):
says she finds me more attractive than ever. But to
be blunt, I don't care that my wife finds me
attractive because I know I look good now. Oh and
it's not like her finding me more attractive will change
anything in the bedroom department.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
So I'm getting Spider Man when he finds Venom in
Spider Man three.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Yeah, I'm hearing the music play in my head right now.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
To your wire going on the street. Dude, he's looking
at the suit like, ooh yeah, feeling good.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
I would say that your wife finding you way more
attractive could do something in the bedroom department.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Could spark some more you know, past things that she did,
wanting her to explore more.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
I find it concerning, though, that you seem to be
like I'm maybe.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Cocky with it.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Was your wife partially responsible for you becoming this version
of yourself?
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Like has this been your gym fuel recently? I think
he wants more action from others, That's what I'm getting.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Anyways, My hormones right now are all over the place,
and I can't help but feel like I missed my
chance to experience that same fun side of life. I
never had the exploration, the experimentation, or the freedom. Now
that I finally feel great about myself. That door seems closed.
I brought it up with my sister, who I'm close with,
and she was surprisingly blunt. She said, it's unfair that
(03:48):
my wife got to have those experiences and now expects
me to settle for less than what she once enjoyed.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
That hit me harder than I expected.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
But my sister also loves me so much and said
some crazy stuff like I deserve to have an experience
with at least one other woman in my life, or
else I'll keep presenting my wife.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Hmmm hm, remember first and only everything? First and only everything, dude.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
After having our special guests from yesterday come through, sounds
like you may need to talk to a spicy therapist
or a dominatrix. I can maybe guide you through this.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah, I think you'll need guidance to get on the
other side. M M. I love my wife. I don't
want to hurt her.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I'm not thinking of cheating or anything like that, but
I do feel stuck between respecting her boundaries and acknowledging
my own desires that never had a chance to exist.
Am I wrong for feeling this way? Has anyone else
been in this situation? How did you cope and we
have some top comments.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
I remember when I was working out a lot, my
hormones were up, I was feeling good all the time,
mental clarity, and I had a lot of energy. And
my other take on this is, if you're feeling this
way about your wife, you might need to, I don't know,
find a new passion or a new hobby or something
and instead of thinking, oh, my wife doesn't want to
do this, Oh my wife had these experiences I don't
(05:10):
want to do this and having that mint like start
falling in love with something else. So that's not corrupting
your mind because it sounds like you do have resentment
towards your wife. It's like fighting an addiction of someone's,
Like you know, I'm addicted to pornography super super hard.
You need to fall in love with, like, I don't know, painting,
and then you love to paint so much that you
(05:31):
don't even think about that aspect. I'm kind of getting
that vibe. I could be wrong, but that's my thoughts.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Like I'm so hot, I want to put myself out there.
It's like, well, you're married, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
You don't want to put yourself out there because you
don't want to cheat, but it's like, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
You want to feel the validation that you're hot and
saw it after yeah desired perhaps Top comments RK eighty
eight fourteen. RK says, I would be careful taking your
sister's advice about your relationship. The right thing is to
have an honest conversation with your wife and be direct.
The butt demon replies, this guy's sister hates his wife.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Conclusion Equal twenty two to ninety says the grass is
never greener on the other side, it's just different grass
from someone who is in the spicy hobbied world. Get really,
really clear on what it is you actually want. Every
fantasy sounds great in your imagination, but whatever it is
you want to explore, it will not be the same
when played out with your wife or any other woman,
(06:28):
if you break up or whatever. It's a tale as
old as time for a married person to have tons
of ideas of what leaving their domesticated problems will be like.
They think they'll be swimming in kitty or men will
be lining up for them, and reality is.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Very, very different.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
They are often disappointed in wish they could have their
marriage and family back, it would be better to talk
to your wife, likely in therapy, that you feel like
you need to spice things up. You won't get anywhere
by just being mad at her. Mm and we have
an update. I agree with those comments that it's.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Clearly your sister has it out for your wife.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Maybe she feels like because she was your first everything,
you shouldn't have married her and needed no experience.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I definitely picked up on that vibe.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Agreed, but we got an day we do.
Speaker 4 (07:12):
Hey everyone, I posted this last night and went to bed.
I woke up a couple hours ago, read through a
lot of replies thanks for all the honesty, and decided
to have a conversation with my wife this morning.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
My wife and I are usually very honest with each other.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
I was upfront with her about how I've been feeling,
specifically that I haven't been feeling very desired lately. She
was surprised at first and even a little shocked, because
we're usually pretty.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Lovey dovey with each other.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
At first, she thought I was joking, but I told
her I was serious. She reassured me that she loves
me more than she can ever put into words, and
that she finds me incredibly attractive. I asked her why
I have to initiate intimacy most of the time, and
that seemed to strike a chord with her. She got
quiet and then told me she would make it effort
to initiate more often, and even kissed me then to
(08:03):
show she meant it. She wanted to do it there,
but I rejected her and told her I wasn't done.
I told her that initiating more was a start, but
what I really wanted was way, way, way more than that.
I opened up about how she's had the chance to
explore her fantasies and experiment in her past, while I
never had that chance. I told her about the attention
I've been getting from other women recently, like, for example,
(08:26):
three women at the library I go to regularly who've
been very upfront with me, and how I've turned all
of them down, but that it still made me think.
I told her, I don't feel desired at all at home,
and in fact, I feel more desired at the library
or park or even at work when I talk to women.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Then I told her.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Directly, I want to seriously spice up our bedroom life.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
I'm not talking about just small things. I told her.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
I'm in the best shape of my life, and right
now I want to feel that kind of quote unquote wild.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Lust that I never got to experience. Not in a
reckless way.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
I just want that passion and at least for the
next few years while I feel this good in my skin.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Okay, does he want another person a part of his
spicy life or does he just want to feel more?
I don't know wild with his wife, I.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Don't know, man. I think that that comment about like
what do you actually want?
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Because this threw me off whenever he mentioned the three librarians.
I have options. I could do something.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Yeah, it's like, okay, so does she. I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Yeah. Also, you're gonna look if you keep up with
your appearances, you're gonna look good for a while. Like
I know a guy that's like fifty one. It looks
great because he works out regularly. Like it's gonna keep
up with you if you keep up with it.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
To my surprise, my wife was very receptive to what
I said. We sat down and talked more openly than
we have in a long time. I told her some
of the fantasies in my head that I'd like to explore,
and she actually listened and took me seriously. Okay.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
See, Okay, conversation goes a long ways, Yes it does.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
It's a wonder what communication can do in a relationship.
I think you probably could have communicated this.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
A lot earlier. Oh absolutely, Let that be a lesson
communicate often and early.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
This feels good, it feels nice, he feels good.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
It is good.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Okay, but then something happened that I wasn't expected. She
broke down in tears. She asked if I still found
her attractive, and that hurt to hear, because of course
I do. I hugged her, comforted her, and told her
I still find her as beautiful as ever. Yes, she's
gone through some body changes since giving birth, but that
(10:32):
doesn't change how I feel.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
About her at all. So yeah, that's probably my final update.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
We still have a lot to talk about, but for
the first time in a while, I feel heard and hopeful.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Thank you all again for your input.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
It really gave me the push I needed to be
honest with myself and with my wife. Comments number one,
I have a feeling this is definitely not over comment too.
He'll be back posting about how he was blindsided by
the divorce after things got spicier II, he convinced her
she needed to do things she didn't want to do
to keep him happy, and she finally left.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Remind me six months Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Comment three. These are the type of posts that I
pray our rage bait, but I know all of them
can't be reply. I've watched a very similar scenario play
out with a couple. I know they were each other's
first everything. Eighteen years and two kids later, he started
getting itchy about everything he missed out on, and they
decided to open the marriage. There was at least a
year and a half of conversation leading to this point,
(11:27):
which is, by the way, not what OPI is discussing doing.
She now has a local boyfriend and out of town
guy and her husband. I'm not sure what his exact
situation is, but from my vantage point, they seem to
be living like roommates who occasionally f I think they
are staying married mostly out of habit. Coming forward, it's
pretty effed up to bring up how often other women
are hitting on him. The first time he bothers to
talk to his wife about this. It's not even a
(11:49):
subtle way to say that he's going to seek out
other women if his wife doesn't comply with his demands,
especially when they have two children presumably under five years old.
Reply says, this guy one hundred percent asked his wife
if she would have a manachantois with him in a
random woman who hit on him at the library.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Well, right, that story.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Wow, that's uh, that's wild.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
The comments did not like. Ope.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Well, first of all, earlier in this story, you're like,
I don't even care that my wife thinks I'm attractive.
I know I am, And then later on you like,
ask her if she still thinks you're attractive. It's like,
clearly you care, and you also attach her ability to
initiate the spicy time with you as a large indicator
on whether or not she does find you attractive. Just
go to your wife and say, hey, I want to
see what you learned at that sorority.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Oh God, show me what you learn Show me.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
We got another story coming on up, we do. My
neighbor used my husband's photos to catfish.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
That's not my husband, that's my neighbor.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
My thirty five male husband and I thirty female have
been married for eight years but separated for the last
fourteen months. I need help and advice on how to
rekindle our relationship. We are currently not on speaking terms
and all of our arrangements go through our lawyers. However,
I will have an opportunity over Christmas to clear the
air and set things straight as you will be flying
(13:08):
in from Sydney to spend times with the kids. By
the way, this comes from Katrina ninety two and if
you want to make your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay story time subreddit. I'm Riley, I'm Dakota.
No p says, So what happened? I received a Facebook
message in September last year that my husband was talking
and exchanging unclosed photos with other women on Tender. We
(13:31):
spoke on the phone for a bit and the only
proof she had was screenshots of their conversations and his profile.
Long story short, I downloaded Tender and found his profile
with his location one kilometer away. Interesting, isn't he not
in the country?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, well we know that it's the neighbor now yet
I mean we we do, but we didn't have a
title for this story. Yeah, that would be odd getting
than your girlfriends.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
I mean if I saw this, I would immediately be like,
is my husband secretly lying to me about not living
in the same country as me anymore.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Like down the block, just like that's yeah, that's a
weird move.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
I was convinced that he was cheating and we had
a terrible fallout that evening. My family came over to
calm the situation, but instead it escalated, and then my
brother wanted and grabbed a hold of my husband. The
neighbors called the police, and my husband was asked to
pack a few things and stay elsewhere for a while.
We separated shortly after. He has since moved to Sydney
(14:34):
to be closer with his dailing father, but caes her
kids for a weekend twice a month. Fast forward to
the beginning of November this year, my neighbors showed up
on my doorstep to tell me that her husband was
catfishing women on dating apps using my husband's photos.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
Oh that's got to be a pretty sinking feeling when
you realize, like, oh, did I implode my whole marriage
for no reason.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
He downloaded these photos from a MacBook that we lent
to him during the VID and some of these photos
were immature nature, including photos of meet The police are
currently dealing with this all of this has been relayed
to my husband through his lawyer, but his response has
been lukewarm. He said we could talk about it over Christmas.
(15:20):
I'm so scared that we might be down too far
the rabbit hole and he will likely push for a divorce,
even though I know that we love each other deeply.
This situation has taken a massive toll on our mental health, finances,
and the well being of our three kids. What is
the best way to approach him in December and make
(15:41):
amends we have some comments. I'd write all this down.
I'd write down all your feelings down on paper. See
how you feel, give him a big welcome. But then
it also is two things. One you want to show
him how much you love him, but then also you
don't want to love baumbam And it's like, ah, it's crazy,
it's a weird place to be in.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
Yeah, I would say, try to go in without expectations. Okay,
the expectation or the desire of just like wanting it
to be fixed, will probably set you up for failure.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Because it'll make you desperate.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
So instead of going in being like oriented in that way,
orient yourself in a way where you have control over everything,
being like I just want to tell them exactly what
I'm thinking and be like, this is exactly how I'm feeling,
and this is exactly what I would want to say,
and not.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Be like, all right, what is he going to say?
How do I plan it? Just be like, is what happened?
Speaker 4 (16:30):
I'm sorry, Like misunderstanding was hurt from a lie that
and you know I didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
I know what to trust. Blah blah blah, whatever happened,
whatever you feel happened. Yeah, Like, I think we'd be
good for the kids. I think it'd be good for us.
I don't think this has to happen. I'm honestly not
qualified to tell you how to get your husband back
right now.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Yeah, we're just giving advice and reading stories. We're giving
our best advice. We have not been through this before.
Yan really says, Oh, there's another thought. Perhaps reach out
to any and all of his old friends, make sure
they all know the truth. That's a good point. Eddie
forty two says Op. Try to salvage what you can,
but the situation was deeply damaging. I'm not blaming you
(17:10):
for leaving when you had what seemed like clear proof
of cheating, that's understandable, but the violent, traumatic way it
unfolded screwed you both over thanks to your neighbor and
your brother, the old one doing someone is never acceptable,
even if your husband had actually cheated, Imagine how we
feel as knowing it was completely unwarranted. Marriage means shared family,
(17:32):
and having your family physically do a harmful act to
him would make anyone hesitant to reconcile. If you want
to rebuild this, everyone needs to be accountable for the mistakes,
especially your brother. It's possible, but it will take some
serious work and time. Joe Holification says, apologize to your husband,
but don't expect forgiveness, And I think this is just
(17:54):
a term of not expecting things. Have low expectations, if
any none. Just apologize to what you can.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
And just pray. Just get real clear about exactly how
you think and feel about it.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
So we have an update two months later. I think
this is after Thanksgiving or like December.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Post Christmas.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yeah, yeah, post conversation. So unfortunately, after having sat down
and discussed things, it was decided that our marriage was
beyond repair and that we should go our separate ways.
Oh sorry, Opie. He is currently in therapy and has
requested that we have a clean break with no further
contact in the future. I intend to respect his wishes
(18:38):
and will continue to communicate through his lawyer on matters
that concern our kids. I have since cleared the air
with our families and friends, and still actively working towards
repairing his reputation. I would also like to clarify the
harmful act and my parents came over in the first place.
The night of the argument. I called my mother to
ask if I could drop off our kids and if
(19:00):
they could spend the evening there, but she was concerned
about my emotional state and ask that I stay put
and they would come to fetch the kids instead. They
arrived and my brother outed to stay outside while my
parents came inside to grab the kids and their backs.
At this point, my father asked to talk to my
ex and calmed the situation. My mom dragged me away
(19:21):
to get the kids and their bags ready. My brother
was very confused when we came outside and was triggered
by my mom saying that my ex might have cheated.
My brother reacted the moment my ex walked out and
grabbed my arm in a non violent way, leading to
the one O two ing and scuffle on the front lawn.
He was remorseful and apologized, even before we found out
(19:42):
my ex was not to blame. It is a series
and unfortunate events that has changed many lives and draw
up my family of love and happiness. I don't know, man,
your brother doing that, I don't know. I mean, you
could get caught up in the moment sometimes, but yikes, yikes, iikeyikes.
It would suck not hearing that. But if I love someone,
(20:03):
I'd probably try to hear them out or something. It
just doesn't feel like you try to hear your husband out,
which is understandable too.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yeah, I don't know. I'm sure there are more problems
than just this, you think, so there had to have been.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Yeah, it's had to have been a final straw situation
or just a culmination of like, no, I don't want this,
because it's like you see a Tinder profile with me
on it a kilometer away and you think that you
just immediately are like, and that is definitive proof. I
gotta assume when he was converted about it, he's like,
(20:35):
what are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (20:36):
It's tough all the way around. I'm just imagining you
getting catfished, and it's a combination of your old acting
photos and you with really good lighting, but it is
clearly looks like you were edited out in the studio.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Yeah no, I would just be like I would quite
literally rather be dead than use dating apps.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
I've now had to focus on my kids, my depression,
and coming to terms with the divorce. I will never forget,
but hopefully the pain will not be his intense any
other thoughts.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
My dude, the best you can do is just move
forward and try to be the good parent for your kids.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
Yeah, agreed. Commeder says you were responsible for all this.
Poor guy. Don't knock like you are the victim here.
Don't say a word to him, and watch as he
finds a wife more deserving and a family more loving.
He deserves that much. Oh my gosh, I don't know
about that one, but dude, that's crazy. I'm not gonna
read those comments. You guys are just gonna both have
(21:30):
to move on, and that's that's how this one turned out. Sucks.
I'm sorry, you'll pee.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Yeah, I mean, it's hard not to jump to conclusions
in that situation, I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
And the real person to blame here is the neighbor.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Really, it's all online dating's fault.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Yeah, what was he getting out of this? And can
we sue him for emotional damage?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Can we the police are involved in this? I truly
can't imagine the state you have to be in to
have a fake dating profile.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
Using other people's pictures and information. Yeah, what level of
just absolutely lost do you have to be to have
to pretend to be someone else talking to people who
were The whole plan is let's meet up.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
They're going to meet you and find out you're not
that person.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
He probably did it to get money out of them,
to extort them, you know, stuff like that. It is
crazy the wheld we live in. But you can make
a change by being a good person. And we had
another story coming up.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Oh yeah, yay, I'm getting tired of my husband.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Sounds like you need a break, don't we?
Speaker 2 (22:35):
All.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
This also comes direct from our subreddit, Oh Boy, Oh Boy.
I twenty three female, have been married to my husband,
twenty four male for five years and we've been together
for six in total. We met young and quickly started
building a life together. But lately I've been feeling like
I'm drowning in this relationship, and I don't know if
(22:57):
I'm being unreasonable or finally waking up.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Uh oh.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
By the way, this comes from user useful Remove sixty
seven eighty three, and if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.
I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, and Op says to give you
some context, both my husband and I work full time
eight am to six pm Monday through Friday, and Saturdays
from eight am to noon. I also attend university classes
(23:24):
every night from seven pm to ten thirty pm. It's
an exhausting routine, but I've been pushing through. We live
with my mother in law, his mom, fifty four female.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Just the three of us.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
The house is hers. My relationship with her is okay
on the surface, but after five years of living under
her roof, I feel emotionally worn out. Since it's her house,
everything has to be done her way. She constantly criticizes
the way I clean, so I eventually stopped doing it
all together. She made it clear she'd rather do it herself. However,
(23:57):
my husband and I are the ones paying for it.
Everything water, electricity, internet, groceries, all out of our pocket.
She doesn't work, but she owns a property in another
city and receives monthly rental income. Even so, every time
my husband asks her to contribute to anything, she says
she doesn't have money. On top of all that, I'm
the one who cooks all the meals, washes all the dishes,
(24:20):
and does all the laundry for myself and my husband.
It feels like I'm doing everything physically, emotionally and financially
while getting very little support in return.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Oh oh pee, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
I mean sounds like a lot.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
It is crazy over the years how much we've expected
our spouses to do. Because it used to be, you know,
in a traditional sense, it was the husband would go
to work and the wife would stay home and prepare
the house and take care of the house. Now it's
changed to, you know, one partner maybe go into work
full time and then also on top of that happy
(24:56):
to take care of the house and the kids. Well,
the other guy only has to work or you have
to split the load up. And then on that part
even more, it's like, oh, I want to start a business,
I want to do it with my wife. Oh I
need a friend, I need to like you know, I
need to like blow off some steam. I'm gonna get
my wife to do that. It's just we have a
lot of expectations over smouse.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
We used to live in a society where you could
thrive off of single income.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
We just don't live in that place anymore.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
And you know, regardless of traditional I think socially, I
think attitudes have changed. It does make sense. It makes
sense to have in a relationship with two people. One
person can make all of the money and one person
takes care of the house. Yeah, don't even gender it
like that just makes sense. You literally can't do that
in the vast majority of cases because in order to survive,
(25:44):
y'all both need to have an income.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
I would love to be a YouTube dad or my
boss girl.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Wife just goes out takes care of it, and I'm
just at home podcasting with my boys, doing whatever, taking
care of the kid. They're like a livestream with the kid.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
I don't counts as being a house husband.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
I'm podcasting with the boys right now.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Yeah, all your chores not getting done, don't get done?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Nuh uh yeah, who by who but my kid?
Speaker 3 (26:17):
They can learn to do it. I can try them.
They can't seem a fun dad. It's time to play laundry.
I'd love playing laundry.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
On a real level, though I would immediately just express
these feelings to your husband in a non confrontational, non
accusatory way, just in a This is how I feel.
I feel like I'm drowning in everything.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
I also suffer from anxiety and depression, though I'm currently
in therapy and trying hard to manage it. But lately
I've noticed that I don't even want to go home anymore.
I feel suffocated in that house. On weekends, I often
choose to stay at my mom's, dads or sister's place,
anywhere but home. That's how unbearable things have become. Now
(26:59):
About my husband, I love him, but sometimes I feel
completely invisible to him. He does things that genuinely hurt me,
and I don't even think he realizes the damage. For example,
a while ago, he admitted that he had been having
spicy related conversations with a female friend on a separate
social media account.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Brother. Oh my gosh, man, this guy stinks.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I got nothing to say to that.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
He told her he wanted to have a three way
with me and her, and he only told me this
after deleting the entire conversation.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Oh all right, that's a great way to establish trust. No, no,
I was talking to this other girl, but it was
just about having a three way, and I deleted the
whole conversation so your feelings can't get hurt from reading it.
He said he just wanted to test the waters to
see if I'd be open to the idea.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
That's insane, because that's not something you start talking to
a stranger about before you talk to your wife about.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
I feel like you want that to happen. It's multiple
conversations with your partner and then a game plan. But
it seems like you skipped a lot of steps there.
Many steps were skipped.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
I felt shocked and disrespected, not because of the suggestion
of a three way, but specifically because he had private,
spicy discussions involving me without my knowledge or consent. I've
tried to move on from that, but last week something
happened that really broke me. On Thursday, my dad suddenly
became very sick. He had high blood pressure, was vomiting
(28:33):
and sweating cold, potential signs of a heart attack or stroke.
He was rushed to the hospital and I was at
work when I got the news. I started crying and
panicking and messaged my husband right away, hoping for support.
His response was, he sent me two silly stickers like
goofy emojis or gifts.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Oh my gosh, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
You divorced this man, dude, I don't even care.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
Like if my dad has a stroke, my dad goes
to the hospital and you send me a gift, I go, oh, okay,
never talking to you again.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Yeah, hot take. I feel like men in this world
we need to I don't know, we need a class
on how to be a man, how to be a
supportive osmon, I'm losing out.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
That's honestly some of the craziest stuff I've read that
you say that and then mid panic a deck he
sends you like the crying smiley face like emoji.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Or the crazy eyes like with the tongue out.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Yeah, it's like what. I was shocked. I told him
that if that's how he was going to respond, I
didn't want to talk to him anymore.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
He simply replied that he didn't do anything wrong. No apology,
no follow up. He never checked in on me or
asked how my dad was doing. Since then, I haven't
spoken to him. I feel completely alone. He hasn't reached
out or tried to fix things, And I keep asking
myself why am I always the one making the effort?
Why am I carrying this entire relationship on my back.
(29:57):
I'm seriously considering asking for a break. I just want
some time to breathe and figure out if this is
the life I want? Do you want a life with
a guy who's definitely.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Cheating on you right now? By the way, Do you
want a guy who can be so emotionally absent from
your life because he's probably still talking to other women
that he could do this to you and say he
finds nothing wrong with it?
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Opie, you know the answer. It's a tough solution. You
know what you gotta do here.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
You gotta leave this guy.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
Yep, just like that, just Thano snap.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
Part of me feels guilty, like maybe I'm overreacting or
giving up too soon. So Reddit, am I wrong for
wanting a break? Am I just running away? Or is
this a sign I've already been carrying too much for
too long? There is an edit here About two months ago,
I had a serious conversation with my husband about everything,
how unhappy I was living in his mother's house, how
(30:49):
we have no privacy, and how the constant stress was
damaging our relationship. I told him I felt like we
were supporting someone who wasn't contributing and that it was
making us turn against each other. Unfortunately, nothing changed after
that talk. Things have just gotten worse since then. Goodness,
there are some comments that I'm sure will be very
supportive of you.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Yeah, of course, cuse you need to leave this guy.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
It's gonna be a tough one, tough season. You know
what you gotta do.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Go.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
Comments number one, take a break and reevaluate the relationship.
If you feel unloved and used, why hang on to it.
Life is too short to be miserable.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Comment two.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
Well, the having spicy conversations with other women would be
enough to divorce in my opinion, So with all the
other mother in law drama, I would say divorce.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Comment three. As someone who.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
Started seeing their partner when we were both in high school,
there definitely gets to be itchy feet moments aka running.
This doesn't sound like it's about the time or age
you got together. This has to do with minimizing valid
concerns instead of talking them out for how to address
the coworker situation is straight up wrong. Would trying a
weekend at a hotel together? Help with reconnection? Think you
(32:00):
should look for another place to live, whether it's together
or not. Hope, He says. We traveled in December of
twenty twenty five to take a vacation. We were away
for fifteen days. Everything went really well, but when we
got back, it felt like it didn't help much. You know,
I'm not sure if it's the atmosphere at home that's
so heavy that it's affecting us without us.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Even realizing it. And there's an update. I feel like
your partner is still talking to other women.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
Yeah, that's worse. But another worse thing is not supporting
you at all.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
And I feel like the two halves of that is
that because he's absent in your relationship, it would make
sense that he's finding that somewhere else.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
Oh yeah, complete sense. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (32:39):
Update, Hi again, I'm back with an update, But first
I want to answer some questions that came up.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Can you move in with your parents?
Speaker 4 (32:46):
Unfortunately no, My mother is emotionally unstable, and I think
living together would only make things worse. She lives with
my stepfather in a one bedroom house, and on top
of that, she and my husband don't get along. My
dad lives with his wife and two young children, ziblings
of mine, age fifteen and thirteen, in a two bedroom home,
one room for them, the other for the kids.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
So there is no space for us there for us.
Start thinking about you? Can you stay?
Speaker 3 (33:12):
What about the kids?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Oh? I just thought she was talking about me and husband.
I know. Yeah, don't just abandon the kids.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Dakota says, abandoning the children.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Abandon you. I abandoned my boy.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Yeah, just I don't know. The wolves take care of it.
I've done it before.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Can you stay in college dorms? No, I'm not in
the US, and where I live there are no college dorms,
especially not for my small private university.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
Why did you get married so young? Well, my life
has always been a bit chaotic. At eighteen, I moved
out to live with my sister, and soon after my
husband and I got married. Coming from a toxic, unstable
family background, I think I saw marriage as a way
to create stability, but now I see it also came
with emotional baggage. I wasn't ready for I'm by but
I've always been clear that I'm monogamous. Still, he once
(33:55):
had spicy conversations with another woman and even suggested a
threesome without ever talking to me first. It feels like
he used my spicy proclivity as a justification for his fantasies.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
But not hours nikes. He has issue with cornography and
says he's trying to get better.
Speaker 4 (34:12):
How's your dad doing? Thankfully, he's doing better now. He's
on medication and being monitored. But honestly, if he had
gotten into the hospital any later, he might not have
made it. And now here's the update. Last night, I
sat down and talked to my husband. I skipped class
because this conversation could not wait. We talked for several hours.
(34:33):
I was honest and reinforced how emotionally exhausted I feel.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
Also take back the kid thing. I don't think they
have kids. I thought they did. I forgot they were
this young. Apologies everyone, apologies. It's hard to keep up
with these stories after a while. Kids, no kids, some kids,
one kid kid on the way. So yeah, I don't
know what she meant by us. She meant both of them. Wow,
moving out of the house. Ah, dang.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
If your partner.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
Everyone was like, yeah, and talking to this other person,
but I was only asking them if they wanted to
do something with the two of us, and I deleted
all of the messages. You go, wow, Richard Nixon, that's
pretty convenient.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Huh. I guess I'll just believe you.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
No, you go, hey, why don't you go take that
person and find another third because it's not gonna be me.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
I'm done, yep, and I'm now an Alaskan fisherman.
Speaker 4 (35:26):
You know how easy it is to not cheat on
your partner. It is so easy to not cheat on
your partner.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
You know how easy it is to break up with
someone you don't find interesting anymore and then continue another relationship.
It's pretty easy too.
Speaker 4 (35:40):
The sad thing is that that's harder than not cheating.
Some people, they're like, ooh, I can't.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
So I'll just be completely wrong.
Speaker 4 (35:47):
Instead of letting someone down, I'll just silently do it
behind their backs until they find out, and I'll make
everything worse. So the update Sam here, we're gonna get
back to the stories, but here's three minutes bads from
our sponsors how his actions have been hurting me and
made it clear that it is no longer possible for
us to keep living with his mother. He listened, we cried,
(36:10):
and it seems that finally he understood the seriousness of
the situation. He realized that if he doesn't change now,
I will change my life, with or without him. We've
agreed to urgently look for a place of our own.
The rent where we live is extremely high, we're close
to international borders, and buying a home isn't an option
right now. I gave us a two or three month
(36:31):
deadline to find something. That's the time I'm giving myself
till then. I'll stay at my sister's place. It's small,
and I'll be sleeping on the floor, but honestly, I'd
rather do that than stay in a house where I
feel like I can't breathe. Yes, I asked for a break,
a short one, just enough to clear my head and
remind myself that I deserve peace. He was surprised and
(36:54):
even desperate, probably because this time I wasn't just threatening.
I was leaving, even if temporarily. There's a little bit
more story left.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
Good move on you, awesome sister and Opie. I hope
you can find a solution here. I think if you
hear the crashing of waves on a boat, and you
see yourself in your dreams kind of in a cold
but yet homie. Boat should probably look into Alaskan fishing.
I think you might like that. Keep your ears and
dreams open to that.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Yeah, an Alaskan crab fisherman.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Yeah, or just a fisherman in general, because I mean,
they make money. And then you just do that for
like six months, go back to school. What's six months?
Speaker 2 (37:33):
What's six months on an Alaskan crab boat?
Speaker 3 (37:36):
Come on.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
So that's where we're at.
Speaker 4 (37:38):
I don't know how this story ends, but I know
it can't go on the way it was. I'm going
to use this time to take care of myself. Self
care isn't just about skincare. It's always about caring for
your mind. And so tomorrow I have an appointment with
my therapist and I plan to open up to her.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
About all of this.
Speaker 4 (37:53):
I hope to find the peace I need. I'm young,
but I've already been through a lot and I don't
want to carry any more unnecessary he burdens in my life.
And that is the end of that story. And you know,
good luck moving forward. You guys can work through it.
You guys can work through it.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Yeah, I would be leaving, Yeah, but I'm not you.
Speaker 4 (38:13):
I think having flirtatious, spicy conversations with someone over the
phone and then deleting all of them and then telling
you what they are.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Is too suspicious for me to look past.
Speaker 4 (38:24):
I think him reacting the way he did when your
father was in the hospital too much for me to
look past. There's a guy sometimes I watch him for
like philosophical stuff, a really good one he had. Sometimes
there are things that are done or said that are
so venomous it cannot be undone. It's basically this is
a video about like not talking when you're angry. So
(38:45):
he shakes up two sodas and he opens one right
away and it like explodes, and then he talks about it,
and then he opens up the other one and it
doesn't explode. It's basically a warning like don't talk when
you're angry. But it's like, don't talk when you're angry
because you can't take certain things back. So this isn't
really in the context of not talking when you're angry.
But I think the way that he did those things,
(39:07):
he cannot take those back, Like I was you.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
It's already out of the bottle. You can't put it
back in the bottle, yep.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
And you got to remember that in this scenario too,
there are two red code Mountain dews and you're on
a white ruck, so you can't clean that up.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Got cod red mount de Cora. God love me some
cold group cold cod red down Dow.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
But guys, we got one more story before we close
this out. I'm gonna find that for us real quick.
My husband's parents are overstepping our boundaries and it's straining
our relationship.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Telling him to step off.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Backstory, My husband and I have been married for almost
three years now. His parents have always been very emotional
and needy. When we were first married, we lived three
hours away from them, his first time living away from home,
and we saw them at least every month. By the way,
this comes from throwaway the in laws and if you
want to speak old stories, go to the r slash
(40:05):
Okay story time subbur I'm Riley, I'm Dakota, and Obi says.
In between seeing them, they would skype with us a
few times a week, an average of an hour conversation
each time, as well as call, text, and email.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
It seems like a lot.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
I finally told my husband that this was too much
for me. He agreed, and we cut it back a little. Yeah,
we cut it back to forty five minutes each call. Yeah, exactly, No, no, no,
fifty incrementally. Now, since that time, there have been little
things here and there where they have clearly gone too
far in their involvement. Some things include opening our mouth,
(40:43):
going through our check book they said they thought it
was theirs, and calling our lawyer regarding a situation they
thought wasn't being handled. Well, these are all beside the point,
but being shared so you can see they have some
problems with respecting our boundaries. Real quick. You know what
I want to see here? I would to see my
(41:05):
husband do laundry. I want to see him cook a meal.
I want to see him change his oil?
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Can he do that?
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Can you change your oil? Oh? He can't.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
Oh it's because his parents did everything for him.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Might just be and that means you're now.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
Gonna have to be the caretaker. Oh you're the new mommy.
Guys who's buying groceries and cooking for their child.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Mama changed the oil, Mama.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
No you didn't. There's oil everywhere how is there oil
in the house, babe? There's oil everywhere. We're like to
oh so besides that, thanks. We do it all right
until we moved eighteen hours away in January, so it's
in school. They became increasingly clinging. They came to visit
(41:52):
for a week less than a month after we moved,
and are constantly sending us emails and text about how
sad they are. We scott often and try to humor
them with pep talks, but it's never enough. Just last
week I received a text from my father in law
that his pariontal soul needs to be watered. Who's sprinkling
(42:13):
the rain drops on that?
Speaker 2 (42:14):
I guess the children. The children must feed your parental soul.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
My husband receives two weeks off per six month period.
He works forty hours a week on top of having
fifteen credit hours, so I really don't see him all
that much. Those vacations are very important to us. He
has a week off in August and in November. When
his parents heard about the November week off, they booked
a flight to come and stay with us for ten
days uninvited. They also invited his siblings down in August.
(42:43):
We are going camping with my family because I understand
that they miss their son. I invited my in laws
as well. Next thing I know, they're inviting their relatives
to join and trying to convince my husband just to
camp for a few days and then leave early and
spend the rest of his time in a different nearby
city with them. Who's your keeper, husband, Mommy and daddy.
Speaker 4 (43:05):
I mean, it's one thing to be like we should
get the family together. It's another thing to be like, hey,
we're hijacking.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Your week off.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Yep, you're gonna do this in this.
Speaker 4 (43:13):
Yeah, I know you have plans to spend time with
your wife. Forget your wife, Come spend time with your family.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
It's crazy you has siblings too. This seems like something
they do with the only child, but he has other siblings.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
Yeah. No, it's just like come up for a weekend, dude,
It's not a come on.
Speaker 3 (43:27):
When I heard about this, I got upset that they
would overstep their invitation and try to steal them away
from time with me and my family. So I put
the kebash on it and uninvited them. Needless to say,
they were not too happy today. Done done. I need
to watch Law Order It was last time you've seen
a long order episode.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
I don't know. I've been pretty unlawful and unruly.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
This all leads up to today. My husband received an
email sent only to him saying that they couldn't wait
until November. They missed him so much, so in two
weeks they'll be driving their old beater car. They don't
have the money to both fly eighteen hours to our place.
His MoMA will be staying four days and leaving, but
his dad will be staying ten days, perhaps more if
(44:12):
he can get more time off work. My husband showed
me the email and said, you can't say no. They're
coming down and we will be treating you and your
dog's name. I flipped out. I told my husband at
this point, it's not about them visiting or even staying
in our small, two bedroom apartment. Is about the lack
of respect that they show for boundaries. My husband is
(44:32):
one hundre percent apathetic to it all. He says that
my life is too short to make ripples and that
we should just enjoy their company. Am I overreacting? We
have an update.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Hey y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get
back to the stories, but here's a quick three minute
break from ask for more sponsors.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
I feel like your husband wants to spend time with
his family. Yeah, and your problem lies with like, well,
shouldn't I be able to spend all of that week
off with my husband?
Speaker 3 (45:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (45:00):
Because I feel like I don't seem enough. But you
got to figure out how to see each other more.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
When you don't have those weeks off.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
Yeah. I think you're both are very busy, and to
preserve this relationship, something has to give, like either less school,
less job, or you know, sacrifice this time that you
have with your husband, knowing that later in the road
you'll have more time with them, hoping, because I feel
like once you get rolling in a busy schedule in
a relationship, that's the vibe. That's how it's always going
(45:28):
to be.
Speaker 4 (45:29):
He's made it clear that his philosophy is life is
too short to create.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
This tension with my family over them wanting to see me.
Speaker 3 (45:37):
Yeah. So summary of previous posts. Last week, my husband
received an email from his dad. The email that my
father in law and mother in law had decided that
they were going to come and visit us for ten
days because they could have waited any longer to see
their son. A direct quote from the email, after stating
that they were visiting, he's no approvals needed, no denials accepted.
I was really gay. Now that bothers me.
Speaker 4 (46:00):
Yeah, that kind of stuff sends me up the wall.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
You are just kids. You don't know better. Where we
got it from here?
Speaker 4 (46:07):
Because it's like that kind of attitude makes me go,
oh yeah, watch this.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Yeah, and they go, where are you? We're in town.
I go, that's crazy, I'm not.
Speaker 3 (46:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Oops.
Speaker 3 (46:18):
I was really angry about the situation. I felt like
they were overstepping their boundaries and my husband seem apathetic.
I gave my husband a couple of days to think
about what he wanted to do. He gave myself a
couple of days to cool down, and then I talked
to him again. He actually was pretty receptive and we
had a good conversation. We both agreed that he would
(46:39):
talk to his parents and discuss appropriate boundaries. We wouldn't
ask them to stay in a hotel because they couldn't
afford it, but would tell them that they need to
respect our need for privacy and alone time. Should we
ask that's happening now? He skyed with his parents on
Saturday alone because I was out of town. He said
that it went well and they like they understood. After
(47:02):
he spoke with them, I sent them both a follow
up text that Saturday night, letting them know that during
the ten days they will be visiting us. One, we
will need to be away for one full day as
we had already made plans to celebrate our wedding anniversary.
Two a friend of mine will likely be dropping in
from out of town and might be with us for
a day or two. Three I asked them to leave
(47:25):
their handguns behind. This is a personal preference of mind.
Six months ago, they both bought handguns for the first
time and have decided they only feel safe when sleeping
next to their pupius. I do not feel comfortable with
that in my house, so I asked that they leave
the pupis behind. That's that's wild to me. Sorry, as
someone that has grown up around firearms and believes strongly
(47:48):
in the Second Amendment. Having to sleep next to them
all the time. Where do you live?
Speaker 2 (47:52):
It feels more like mental illness than anything. I don't know,
believing that that's gonna keep you safer just because they're
like right next to you and you just sleep.
Speaker 3 (48:02):
I don't know, no, no, I some people have opinions
about this, but I'm like, I don't know. I understand
wanting to feel safe and having access to it in
case you need to do defense, but traveling with it
and putting other people at harm, that's.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
I don't know, man.
Speaker 4 (48:16):
I think the only way that that makes any sense
you have like one surgically implanted into your skull so
that when you wake up and there's an intruder right above,
you can go boom.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
But that doesn't work, that doesn't happen. You can't do
that yet.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
I'm working on something. Honestly, wasn't trying to be an antagonistic.
I just wanted to be very clear with them and
up front so there were no surprises when they arrived.
I didn't want them to make conflicting plans and ended
up disappointed. I sent a text because I was out
of the country and didn't have access to Wi Fi
and couldn't call. I didn't receive any response from them
Saturday or Sunday, unusual because they were always quick at answering.
(48:53):
Then yesterday, Monday, my husband texts me tell me that
he got a text from them, saying that they loved
him and missed him, but that they were not going
to visit us anymore. No explanation, just that they weren't
no longer coming, despite the fact that they boot their
vacation time and bought a flight ticket for my mother
in law's return home. He then asked why, and they
(49:14):
said that they would talk to both him and me
over skype. Well, my husband has a super busy week
and doesn't have the time to have another lengthy discussion,
and they had planned on driving down here June thirtieth,
so I told him I would want to talk with
him to try and smooth things over before then, because
at the end of the day, it would be nice
for him to see them, and I don't want him
(49:34):
to miss out on family time because of petty drama
that I may or may have not cost. So I
texted them immediately Monday and told them that I wasn't
sure what was going on, but that I would love
to talk with them and listen to what they had
to say. I told them that i'd be back in
the States today Tuesday, and asked them to let me
know a couple of times that might work to skype.
(49:55):
No answer instead, my father in law text is my
husband as a response to my text that they will
not answer any texts and will only communicate via skype.
So I played dumb and sent them another text today
saying I didn't hear back from either of you, so
I think my last text probably didn't go through. Husband
is busy all week you guys have time to skype
(50:16):
with me today. A few hours later, I get a
text from mother in law saying they will skype when
my husband is able. I responded saying, I just asked,
because between both of our schedules, we won't be able
to skype with you until this weekend, and if you
cancel your plans because of something I said, I want
you to know that I'm available to talk before them
no answer. I know they have checked their phones because
(50:39):
they sent my husband a text after that saying they
were thinking of him. It's frustrating because this is still
boils to the same issue, a huge lack of appropriate communication.
The one positive note is that at least my husband
and I are on the same page. Finally. He's really
embarrassed by how his parents are acting and has said
(51:00):
that unless they have some legitimate reason, their car broke down.
He has nothing to say to them. I don't think
they like Opie.
Speaker 4 (51:08):
I don't think so either, And I wouldn't be beaten
around the bush with like, oh my test didn't go through.
I'd be like, hey, we're all adults here. I'm the
other half of the partnership your son and I share.
If you got something to say about us, you can
say it to me.
Speaker 3 (51:24):
Right here to my face. Sorry, fikes so, and now
looks like they are no longer coming. I do feel
guilty for causing tension between my husband and his parents.
Part of me wishes I just kept my mouth shut
and just gone with it, and then there would not
have been any drama to deal with. Ridiculous, unnecessary drama
at that.
Speaker 4 (51:43):
Yeah, but it's all coming from them. They are moving
about this like they are in middle school. Yeah, literally,
like they're thirteen years old.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
Take you out of this, what's left? That's the issue.
While the other part feels like if I didn't say anything,
they would have continued to overstep their boundaries and I
would have gone crazy. So as of now, they are
not visiting, and my husband has no desire to talk
with them, and I guess I'll stop asking if they
want to talk with me. Yeah, I don't think they
like you, but they're not going to tell you that,
(52:14):
and that's the end of that story.
Speaker 2 (52:16):
I guess they definitely won't tell you that.
Speaker 3 (52:17):
They're only going to talk to your husband and hopefully
you guys can have time for yourselves.
Speaker 4 (52:21):
When I was siding with them, I didn't imagine they
were the most exhausting, annoying yeah people of all time?
Speaker 3 (52:27):
What's he got a little bit more context there.
Speaker 2 (52:29):
It's like, oh, anytime anyone's just like yeah, and it's
not up to you, and no requests accepted, no denials
listened to. It's like, yeah, oh oh okay, you stepped
up and you put a stop to it.
Speaker 3 (52:44):
Congrats Obie. And that's the end of that episode. So
if you love us, make sure to subscribe. We love
you and see you tomorrow.
This is intergalactic John. This is Airlien Salm on the
International Okay Storytime podcast station, and we have some human
stories coming up, not alien, but before we make a landing,
stick around for this two minute not alien ad break
before we get to these interstellar stories. O.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
My wife had a wild phase before marriage, and now
I feel left out.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Time to go back in Zime.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
I've been married to my wife for five years, together
for eight, and we have two beautiful children. She's been
my first everything, my first girlfriend, my first real relationship,
my first in every sense.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
She was the first person to breastfeed.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
You that you can remember, probably hmmm, that you could remember.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
I didn't really date in high school or college because honestly,
I didn't take care of myself. I lacked confidence and
didn't feel attractive, so I stayed focused on other things
like studying the Blade. By the way, this comes from
user head specific sixty seven sixty three, and if you
want usbmit your own stories, go to the Arslashokay Storytime subreddit.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, and op says. My wife, on
the other hand, had a more typical college experience quote unquote.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
She went to the University of Miami. She went to
the University of Arizona.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Technically that one's not a issue, yeah, but they still
get after it.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
She had a few relationships and her phase as she
was extremely attractive.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
She even did stuff with two guys at the same job.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
She was upfront about it when we started dating, and
it never bothered me, although I tried not to think
about it too much.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Now here's the thing.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Over the years, she's become quite reserved when it comes
to intimacy. She says she had her wild side during college,
and now that she's done with that phase, she prefers
a more traditional approach to intimacy. She says she's tried
everything she wanted to and know what she enjoys and
what she doesn't in the boudoir, and she wants to
(02:05):
build intimacy on love, not wild lust. And I completely
respect that. I'm not trying to do something which doesn't
excite her in the bedroom. But lately I've changed. I'm
in the best shape of my life physically, mentally and emotionally.
Even my family and friends are kind of shocked with
how I look. My wife loves the new me and
(02:26):
says she finds me more attractive than ever. But to
be blunt, I don't care that my wife finds me
attractive because I know I look good now. Oh and
it's not like her finding me more attractive will change
anything in the bedroom department.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
So I'm getting Spider Man when he finds Venom in
Spider Man three.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Yeah, I'm hearing the music play in my head right now.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
To your wire going on the street. Dude, he's looking
at the suit like, ooh yeah, feeling good.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
I would say that your wife finding you way more
attractive could do something in the bedroom department.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Could spark some more you know, past things that she did,
wanting her to explore more.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
I find it concerning, though, that you seem to be
like I'm maybe.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Cocky with it.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Was your wife partially responsible for you becoming this version
of yourself?
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Like has this been your gym fuel recently? I think
he wants more action from others, That's what I'm getting.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Anyways, My hormones right now are all over the place,
and I can't help but feel like I missed my
chance to experience that same fun side of life. I
never had the exploration, the experimentation, or the freedom. Now
that I finally feel great about myself. That door seems closed.
I brought it up with my sister, who I'm close with,
and she was surprisingly blunt. She said, it's unfair that
(03:48):
my wife got to have those experiences and now expects
me to settle for less than what she once enjoyed.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
That hit me harder than I expected.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
But my sister also loves me so much and said
some crazy stuff like I deserve to have an experience
with at least one other woman in my life, or
else I'll keep presenting my wife.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Hmmm hm, remember first and only everything? First and only everything, dude.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
After having our special guests from yesterday come through, sounds
like you may need to talk to a spicy therapist
or a dominatrix. I can maybe guide you through this.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah, I think you'll need guidance to get on the
other side. M M. I love my wife. I don't
want to hurt her.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I'm not thinking of cheating or anything like that, but
I do feel stuck between respecting her boundaries and acknowledging
my own desires that never had a chance to exist.
Am I wrong for feeling this way? Has anyone else
been in this situation? How did you cope and we
have some top comments.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
I remember when I was working out a lot, my
hormones were up, I was feeling good all the time,
mental clarity, and I had a lot of energy. And
my other take on this is, if you're feeling this
way about your wife, you might need to, I don't know,
find a new passion or a new hobby or something
and instead of thinking, oh, my wife doesn't want to
do this, Oh my wife had these experiences I don't
(05:10):
want to do this and having that mint like start
falling in love with something else. So that's not corrupting
your mind because it sounds like you do have resentment
towards your wife. It's like fighting an addiction of someone's,
Like you know, I'm addicted to pornography super super hard.
You need to fall in love with, like, I don't know, painting,
and then you love to paint so much that you
(05:31):
don't even think about that aspect. I'm kind of getting
that vibe. I could be wrong, but that's my thoughts.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Like I'm so hot, I want to put myself out there.
It's like, well, you're married, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
You don't want to put yourself out there because you
don't want to cheat, but it's like, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
You want to feel the validation that you're hot and
saw it after yeah desired perhaps Top comments RK eighty
eight fourteen. RK says, I would be careful taking your
sister's advice about your relationship. The right thing is to
have an honest conversation with your wife and be direct.
The butt demon replies, this guy's sister hates his wife.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Conclusion Equal twenty two to ninety says the grass is
never greener on the other side, it's just different grass
from someone who is in the spicy hobbied world. Get really,
really clear on what it is you actually want. Every
fantasy sounds great in your imagination, but whatever it is
you want to explore, it will not be the same
when played out with your wife or any other woman,
(06:28):
if you break up or whatever. It's a tale as
old as time for a married person to have tons
of ideas of what leaving their domesticated problems will be like.
They think they'll be swimming in kitty or men will
be lining up for them, and reality is.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Very, very different.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
They are often disappointed in wish they could have their
marriage and family back, it would be better to talk
to your wife, likely in therapy, that you feel like
you need to spice things up. You won't get anywhere
by just being mad at her. Mm and we have
an update. I agree with those comments that it's.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Clearly your sister has it out for your wife.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Maybe she feels like because she was your first everything,
you shouldn't have married her and needed no experience.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I definitely picked up on that vibe.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Agreed, but we got an day we do.
Speaker 4 (07:12):
Hey everyone, I posted this last night and went to bed.
I woke up a couple hours ago, read through a
lot of replies thanks for all the honesty, and decided
to have a conversation with my wife this morning.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
My wife and I are usually very honest with each other.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
I was upfront with her about how I've been feeling,
specifically that I haven't been feeling very desired lately. She
was surprised at first and even a little shocked, because
we're usually pretty.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Lovey dovey with each other.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
At first, she thought I was joking, but I told
her I was serious. She reassured me that she loves
me more than she can ever put into words, and
that she finds me incredibly attractive. I asked her why
I have to initiate intimacy most of the time, and
that seemed to strike a chord with her. She got
quiet and then told me she would make it effort
to initiate more often, and even kissed me then to
(08:03):
show she meant it. She wanted to do it there,
but I rejected her and told her I wasn't done.
I told her that initiating more was a start, but
what I really wanted was way, way, way more than that.
I opened up about how she's had the chance to
explore her fantasies and experiment in her past, while I
never had that chance. I told her about the attention
I've been getting from other women recently, like, for example,
(08:26):
three women at the library I go to regularly who've
been very upfront with me, and how I've turned all
of them down, but that it still made me think.
I told her, I don't feel desired at all at home,
and in fact, I feel more desired at the library
or park or even at work when I talk to women.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Then I told her.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Directly, I want to seriously spice up our bedroom life.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
I'm not talking about just small things. I told her.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
I'm in the best shape of my life, and right
now I want to feel that kind of quote unquote wild.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Lust that I never got to experience. Not in a
reckless way.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
I just want that passion and at least for the
next few years while I feel this good in my skin.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Okay, does he want another person a part of his
spicy life or does he just want to feel more?
I don't know wild with his wife, I.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Don't know, man. I think that that comment about like
what do you actually want?
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Because this threw me off whenever he mentioned the three librarians.
I have options. I could do something.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Yeah, it's like, okay, so does she. I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Yeah. Also, you're gonna look if you keep up with
your appearances, you're gonna look good for a while. Like
I know a guy that's like fifty one. It looks
great because he works out regularly. Like it's gonna keep
up with you if you keep up with it.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
To my surprise, my wife was very receptive to what
I said. We sat down and talked more openly than
we have in a long time. I told her some
of the fantasies in my head that I'd like to explore,
and she actually listened and took me seriously. Okay.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
See, Okay, conversation goes a long ways, Yes it does.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
It's a wonder what communication can do in a relationship.
I think you probably could have communicated this.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
A lot earlier. Oh absolutely, Let that be a lesson
communicate often and early.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
This feels good, it feels nice, he feels good.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
It is good.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Okay, but then something happened that I wasn't expected. She
broke down in tears. She asked if I still found
her attractive, and that hurt to hear, because of course
I do. I hugged her, comforted her, and told her
I still find her as beautiful as ever. Yes, she's
gone through some body changes since giving birth, but that
(10:32):
doesn't change how I feel.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
About her at all. So yeah, that's probably my final update.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
We still have a lot to talk about, but for
the first time in a while, I feel heard and hopeful.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Thank you all again for your input.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
It really gave me the push I needed to be
honest with myself and with my wife. Comments number one,
I have a feeling this is definitely not over comment too.
He'll be back posting about how he was blindsided by
the divorce after things got spicier II, he convinced her
she needed to do things she didn't want to do
to keep him happy, and she finally left.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Remind me six months Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Comment three. These are the type of posts that I
pray our rage bait, but I know all of them
can't be reply. I've watched a very similar scenario play
out with a couple. I know they were each other's
first everything. Eighteen years and two kids later, he started
getting itchy about everything he missed out on, and they
decided to open the marriage. There was at least a
year and a half of conversation leading to this point,
(11:27):
which is, by the way, not what OPI is discussing doing.
She now has a local boyfriend and out of town
guy and her husband. I'm not sure what his exact
situation is, but from my vantage point, they seem to
be living like roommates who occasionally f I think they
are staying married mostly out of habit. Coming forward, it's
pretty effed up to bring up how often other women
are hitting on him. The first time he bothers to
talk to his wife about this. It's not even a
(11:49):
subtle way to say that he's going to seek out
other women if his wife doesn't comply with his demands,
especially when they have two children presumably under five years old.
Reply says, this guy one hundred percent asked his wife
if she would have a manachantois with him in a
random woman who hit on him at the library.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Well, right, that story.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Wow, that's uh, that's wild.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
The comments did not like. Ope.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Well, first of all, earlier in this story, you're like,
I don't even care that my wife thinks I'm attractive.
I know I am, And then later on you like,
ask her if she still thinks you're attractive. It's like,
clearly you care, and you also attach her ability to
initiate the spicy time with you as a large indicator
on whether or not she does find you attractive. Just
go to your wife and say, hey, I want to
see what you learned at that sorority.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Oh God, show me what you learn Show me.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
We got another story coming on up, we do. My
neighbor used my husband's photos to catfish.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
That's not my husband, that's my neighbor.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
My thirty five male husband and I thirty female have
been married for eight years but separated for the last
fourteen months. I need help and advice on how to
rekindle our relationship. We are currently not on speaking terms
and all of our arrangements go through our lawyers. However,
I will have an opportunity over Christmas to clear the
air and set things straight as you will be flying
(13:08):
in from Sydney to spend times with the kids. By
the way, this comes from Katrina ninety two and if
you want to make your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay story time subreddit. I'm Riley, I'm Dakota.
No p says, So what happened? I received a Facebook
message in September last year that my husband was talking
and exchanging unclosed photos with other women on Tender. We
(13:31):
spoke on the phone for a bit and the only
proof she had was screenshots of their conversations and his profile.
Long story short, I downloaded Tender and found his profile
with his location one kilometer away. Interesting, isn't he not
in the country?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, well we know that it's the neighbor now yet
I mean we we do, but we didn't have a
title for this story. Yeah, that would be odd getting
than your girlfriends.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
I mean if I saw this, I would immediately be like,
is my husband secretly lying to me about not living
in the same country as me anymore.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Like down the block, just like that's yeah, that's a
weird move.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
I was convinced that he was cheating and we had
a terrible fallout that evening. My family came over to
calm the situation, but instead it escalated, and then my
brother wanted and grabbed a hold of my husband. The
neighbors called the police, and my husband was asked to
pack a few things and stay elsewhere for a while.
We separated shortly after. He has since moved to Sydney
(14:34):
to be closer with his dailing father, but caes her
kids for a weekend twice a month. Fast forward to
the beginning of November this year, my neighbors showed up
on my doorstep to tell me that her husband was
catfishing women on dating apps using my husband's photos.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
Oh that's got to be a pretty sinking feeling when
you realize, like, oh, did I implode my whole marriage
for no reason.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
He downloaded these photos from a MacBook that we lent
to him during the VID and some of these photos
were immature nature, including photos of meet The police are
currently dealing with this all of this has been relayed
to my husband through his lawyer, but his response has
been lukewarm. He said we could talk about it over Christmas.
(15:20):
I'm so scared that we might be down too far
the rabbit hole and he will likely push for a divorce,
even though I know that we love each other deeply.
This situation has taken a massive toll on our mental health, finances,
and the well being of our three kids. What is
the best way to approach him in December and make
(15:41):
amends we have some comments. I'd write all this down.
I'd write down all your feelings down on paper. See
how you feel, give him a big welcome. But then
it also is two things. One you want to show
him how much you love him, but then also you
don't want to love baumbam And it's like, ah, it's crazy,
it's a weird place to be in.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
Yeah, I would say, try to go in without expectations. Okay,
the expectation or the desire of just like wanting it
to be fixed, will probably set you up for failure.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Because it'll make you desperate.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
So instead of going in being like oriented in that way,
orient yourself in a way where you have control over everything,
being like I just want to tell them exactly what
I'm thinking and be like, this is exactly how I'm feeling,
and this is exactly what I would want to say,
and not.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Be like, all right, what is he going to say?
How do I plan it? Just be like, is what happened?
Speaker 4 (16:30):
I'm sorry, Like misunderstanding was hurt from a lie that
and you know I didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
I know what to trust. Blah blah blah, whatever happened,
whatever you feel happened. Yeah, Like, I think we'd be
good for the kids. I think it'd be good for us.
I don't think this has to happen. I'm honestly not
qualified to tell you how to get your husband back
right now.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Yeah, we're just giving advice and reading stories. We're giving
our best advice. We have not been through this before.
Yan really says, Oh, there's another thought. Perhaps reach out
to any and all of his old friends, make sure
they all know the truth. That's a good point. Eddie
forty two says Op. Try to salvage what you can,
but the situation was deeply damaging. I'm not blaming you
(17:10):
for leaving when you had what seemed like clear proof
of cheating, that's understandable, but the violent, traumatic way it
unfolded screwed you both over thanks to your neighbor and
your brother, the old one doing someone is never acceptable,
even if your husband had actually cheated, Imagine how we
feel as knowing it was completely unwarranted. Marriage means shared family,
(17:32):
and having your family physically do a harmful act to
him would make anyone hesitant to reconcile. If you want
to rebuild this, everyone needs to be accountable for the mistakes,
especially your brother. It's possible, but it will take some
serious work and time. Joe Holification says, apologize to your husband,
but don't expect forgiveness, And I think this is just
(17:54):
a term of not expecting things. Have low expectations, if
any none. Just apologize to what you can.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
And just pray. Just get real clear about exactly how
you think and feel about it.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
So we have an update two months later. I think
this is after Thanksgiving or like December.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Post Christmas.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yeah, yeah, post conversation. So unfortunately, after having sat down
and discussed things, it was decided that our marriage was
beyond repair and that we should go our separate ways.
Oh sorry, Opie. He is currently in therapy and has
requested that we have a clean break with no further
contact in the future. I intend to respect his wishes
(18:38):
and will continue to communicate through his lawyer on matters
that concern our kids. I have since cleared the air
with our families and friends, and still actively working towards
repairing his reputation. I would also like to clarify the
harmful act and my parents came over in the first place.
The night of the argument. I called my mother to
ask if I could drop off our kids and if
(19:00):
they could spend the evening there, but she was concerned
about my emotional state and ask that I stay put
and they would come to fetch the kids instead. They
arrived and my brother outed to stay outside while my
parents came inside to grab the kids and their backs.
At this point, my father asked to talk to my
ex and calmed the situation. My mom dragged me away
(19:21):
to get the kids and their bags ready. My brother
was very confused when we came outside and was triggered
by my mom saying that my ex might have cheated.
My brother reacted the moment my ex walked out and
grabbed my arm in a non violent way, leading to
the one O two ing and scuffle on the front lawn.
He was remorseful and apologized, even before we found out
(19:42):
my ex was not to blame. It is a series
and unfortunate events that has changed many lives and draw
up my family of love and happiness. I don't know, man,
your brother doing that, I don't know. I mean, you
could get caught up in the moment sometimes, but yikes, yikes, iikeyikes.
It would suck not hearing that. But if I love someone,
(20:03):
I'd probably try to hear them out or something. It
just doesn't feel like you try to hear your husband out,
which is understandable too.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yeah, I don't know. I'm sure there are more problems
than just this, you think, so there had to have been.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Yeah, it's had to have been a final straw situation
or just a culmination of like, no, I don't want this,
because it's like you see a Tinder profile with me
on it a kilometer away and you think that you
just immediately are like, and that is definitive proof. I
gotta assume when he was converted about it, he's like,
(20:35):
what are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (20:36):
It's tough all the way around. I'm just imagining you
getting catfished, and it's a combination of your old acting
photos and you with really good lighting, but it is
clearly looks like you were edited out in the studio.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Yeah no, I would just be like I would quite
literally rather be dead than use dating apps.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
I've now had to focus on my kids, my depression,
and coming to terms with the divorce. I will never forget,
but hopefully the pain will not be his intense any
other thoughts.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
My dude, the best you can do is just move
forward and try to be the good parent for your kids.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
Yeah, agreed. Commeder says you were responsible for all this.
Poor guy. Don't knock like you are the victim here.
Don't say a word to him, and watch as he
finds a wife more deserving and a family more loving.
He deserves that much. Oh my gosh, I don't know
about that one, but dude, that's crazy. I'm not gonna
read those comments. You guys are just gonna both have
(21:30):
to move on, and that's that's how this one turned out. Sucks.
I'm sorry, you'll pee.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Yeah, I mean, it's hard not to jump to conclusions
in that situation, I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
And the real person to blame here is the neighbor.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Really, it's all online dating's fault.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Yeah, what was he getting out of this? And can
we sue him for emotional damage?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Can we the police are involved in this? I truly
can't imagine the state you have to be in to
have a fake dating profile.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
Using other people's pictures and information. Yeah, what level of
just absolutely lost do you have to be to have
to pretend to be someone else talking to people who
were The whole plan is let's meet up.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
They're going to meet you and find out you're not
that person.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
He probably did it to get money out of them,
to extort them, you know, stuff like that. It is
crazy the wheld we live in. But you can make
a change by being a good person. And we had
another story coming up.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Oh yeah, yay, I'm getting tired of my husband.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Sounds like you need a break, don't we?
Speaker 2 (22:35):
All.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
This also comes direct from our subreddit, Oh Boy, Oh Boy.
I twenty three female, have been married to my husband,
twenty four male for five years and we've been together
for six in total. We met young and quickly started
building a life together. But lately I've been feeling like
I'm drowning in this relationship, and I don't know if
(22:57):
I'm being unreasonable or finally waking up.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Uh oh.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
By the way, this comes from user useful Remove sixty
seven eighty three, and if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.
I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, and Op says to give you
some context, both my husband and I work full time
eight am to six pm Monday through Friday, and Saturdays
from eight am to noon. I also attend university classes
(23:24):
every night from seven pm to ten thirty pm. It's
an exhausting routine, but I've been pushing through. We live
with my mother in law, his mom, fifty four female.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Just the three of us.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
The house is hers. My relationship with her is okay
on the surface, but after five years of living under
her roof, I feel emotionally worn out. Since it's her house,
everything has to be done her way. She constantly criticizes
the way I clean, so I eventually stopped doing it
all together. She made it clear she'd rather do it herself. However,
(23:57):
my husband and I are the ones paying for it.
Everything water, electricity, internet, groceries, all out of our pocket.
She doesn't work, but she owns a property in another
city and receives monthly rental income. Even so, every time
my husband asks her to contribute to anything, she says
she doesn't have money. On top of all that, I'm
the one who cooks all the meals, washes all the dishes,
(24:20):
and does all the laundry for myself and my husband.
It feels like I'm doing everything physically, emotionally and financially
while getting very little support in return.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Oh oh pee, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
I mean sounds like a lot.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
It is crazy over the years how much we've expected
our spouses to do. Because it used to be, you know,
in a traditional sense, it was the husband would go
to work and the wife would stay home and prepare
the house and take care of the house. Now it's
changed to, you know, one partner maybe go into work
full time and then also on top of that happy
(24:56):
to take care of the house and the kids. Well,
the other guy only has to work or you have
to split the load up. And then on that part
even more, it's like, oh, I want to start a business,
I want to do it with my wife. Oh I
need a friend, I need to like you know, I
need to like blow off some steam. I'm gonna get
my wife to do that. It's just we have a
lot of expectations over smouse.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
We used to live in a society where you could
thrive off of single income.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
We just don't live in that place anymore.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
And you know, regardless of traditional I think socially, I
think attitudes have changed. It does make sense. It makes
sense to have in a relationship with two people. One
person can make all of the money and one person
takes care of the house. Yeah, don't even gender it
like that just makes sense. You literally can't do that
in the vast majority of cases because in order to survive,
(25:44):
y'all both need to have an income.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
I would love to be a YouTube dad or my
boss girl.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Wife just goes out takes care of it, and I'm
just at home podcasting with my boys, doing whatever, taking
care of the kid. They're like a livestream with the kid.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
I don't counts as being a house husband.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
I'm podcasting with the boys right now.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Yeah, all your chores not getting done, don't get done?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Nuh uh yeah, who by who but my kid?
Speaker 3 (26:17):
They can learn to do it. I can try them.
They can't seem a fun dad. It's time to play laundry.
I'd love playing laundry.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
On a real level, though I would immediately just express
these feelings to your husband in a non confrontational, non
accusatory way, just in a This is how I feel.
I feel like I'm drowning in everything.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
I also suffer from anxiety and depression, though I'm currently
in therapy and trying hard to manage it. But lately
I've noticed that I don't even want to go home anymore.
I feel suffocated in that house. On weekends, I often
choose to stay at my mom's, dads or sister's place,
anywhere but home. That's how unbearable things have become. Now
(26:59):
About my husband, I love him, but sometimes I feel
completely invisible to him. He does things that genuinely hurt me,
and I don't even think he realizes the damage. For example,
a while ago, he admitted that he had been having
spicy related conversations with a female friend on a separate
social media account.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Brother. Oh my gosh, man, this guy stinks.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I got nothing to say to that.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
He told her he wanted to have a three way
with me and her, and he only told me this
after deleting the entire conversation.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Oh all right, that's a great way to establish trust. No, no,
I was talking to this other girl, but it was
just about having a three way, and I deleted the
whole conversation so your feelings can't get hurt from reading it.
He said he just wanted to test the waters to
see if I'd be open to the idea.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
That's insane, because that's not something you start talking to
a stranger about before you talk to your wife about.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
I feel like you want that to happen. It's multiple
conversations with your partner and then a game plan. But
it seems like you skipped a lot of steps there.
Many steps were skipped.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
I felt shocked and disrespected, not because of the suggestion
of a three way, but specifically because he had private,
spicy discussions involving me without my knowledge or consent. I've
tried to move on from that, but last week something
happened that really broke me. On Thursday, my dad suddenly
became very sick. He had high blood pressure, was vomiting
(28:33):
and sweating cold, potential signs of a heart attack or stroke.
He was rushed to the hospital and I was at
work when I got the news. I started crying and
panicking and messaged my husband right away, hoping for support.
His response was, he sent me two silly stickers like
goofy emojis or gifts.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Oh my gosh, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
You divorced this man, dude, I don't even care.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
Like if my dad has a stroke, my dad goes
to the hospital and you send me a gift, I go, oh, okay,
never talking to you again.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Yeah, hot take. I feel like men in this world
we need to I don't know, we need a class
on how to be a man, how to be a
supportive osmon, I'm losing out.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
That's honestly some of the craziest stuff I've read that
you say that and then mid panic a deck he
sends you like the crying smiley face like emoji.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Or the crazy eyes like with the tongue out.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Yeah, it's like what. I was shocked. I told him
that if that's how he was going to respond, I
didn't want to talk to him anymore.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
He simply replied that he didn't do anything wrong. No apology,
no follow up. He never checked in on me or
asked how my dad was doing. Since then, I haven't
spoken to him. I feel completely alone. He hasn't reached
out or tried to fix things, And I keep asking
myself why am I always the one making the effort?
Why am I carrying this entire relationship on my back.
(29:57):
I'm seriously considering asking for a break. I just want
some time to breathe and figure out if this is
the life I want? Do you want a life with
a guy who's definitely.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Cheating on you right now? By the way, Do you
want a guy who can be so emotionally absent from
your life because he's probably still talking to other women
that he could do this to you and say he
finds nothing wrong with it?
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Opie, you know the answer. It's a tough solution. You
know what you gotta do here.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
You gotta leave this guy.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
Yep, just like that, just Thano snap.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
Part of me feels guilty, like maybe I'm overreacting or
giving up too soon. So Reddit, am I wrong for
wanting a break? Am I just running away? Or is
this a sign I've already been carrying too much for
too long? There is an edit here About two months ago,
I had a serious conversation with my husband about everything,
how unhappy I was living in his mother's house, how
(30:49):
we have no privacy, and how the constant stress was
damaging our relationship. I told him I felt like we
were supporting someone who wasn't contributing and that it was
making us turn against each other. Unfortunately, nothing changed after
that talk. Things have just gotten worse since then. Goodness,
there are some comments that I'm sure will be very
supportive of you.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Yeah, of course, cuse you need to leave this guy.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
It's gonna be a tough one, tough season. You know
what you gotta do.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Go.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
Comments number one, take a break and reevaluate the relationship.
If you feel unloved and used, why hang on to it.
Life is too short to be miserable.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Comment two.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
Well, the having spicy conversations with other women would be
enough to divorce in my opinion, So with all the
other mother in law drama, I would say divorce.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Comment three. As someone who.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
Started seeing their partner when we were both in high school,
there definitely gets to be itchy feet moments aka running.
This doesn't sound like it's about the time or age
you got together. This has to do with minimizing valid
concerns instead of talking them out for how to address
the coworker situation is straight up wrong. Would trying a
weekend at a hotel together? Help with reconnection? Think you
(32:00):
should look for another place to live, whether it's together
or not. Hope, He says. We traveled in December of
twenty twenty five to take a vacation. We were away
for fifteen days. Everything went really well, but when we
got back, it felt like it didn't help much. You know,
I'm not sure if it's the atmosphere at home that's
so heavy that it's affecting us without us.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Even realizing it. And there's an update. I feel like
your partner is still talking to other women.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
Yeah, that's worse. But another worse thing is not supporting
you at all.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
And I feel like the two halves of that is
that because he's absent in your relationship, it would make
sense that he's finding that somewhere else.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
Oh yeah, complete sense. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (32:39):
Update, Hi again, I'm back with an update, But first
I want to answer some questions that came up.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Can you move in with your parents?
Speaker 4 (32:46):
Unfortunately no, My mother is emotionally unstable, and I think
living together would only make things worse. She lives with
my stepfather in a one bedroom house, and on top
of that, she and my husband don't get along. My
dad lives with his wife and two young children, ziblings
of mine, age fifteen and thirteen, in a two bedroom home,
one room for them, the other for the kids.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
So there is no space for us there for us.
Start thinking about you? Can you stay?
Speaker 3 (33:12):
What about the kids?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Oh? I just thought she was talking about me and husband.
I know. Yeah, don't just abandon the kids.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Dakota says, abandoning the children.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Abandon you. I abandoned my boy.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Yeah, just I don't know. The wolves take care of it.
I've done it before.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Can you stay in college dorms? No, I'm not in
the US, and where I live there are no college dorms,
especially not for my small private university.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
Why did you get married so young? Well, my life
has always been a bit chaotic. At eighteen, I moved
out to live with my sister, and soon after my
husband and I got married. Coming from a toxic, unstable
family background, I think I saw marriage as a way
to create stability, but now I see it also came
with emotional baggage. I wasn't ready for I'm by but
I've always been clear that I'm monogamous. Still, he once
(33:55):
had spicy conversations with another woman and even suggested a
threesome without ever talking to me first. It feels like
he used my spicy proclivity as a justification for his fantasies.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
But not hours nikes. He has issue with cornography and
says he's trying to get better.
Speaker 4 (34:12):
How's your dad doing? Thankfully, he's doing better now. He's
on medication and being monitored. But honestly, if he had
gotten into the hospital any later, he might not have
made it. And now here's the update. Last night, I
sat down and talked to my husband. I skipped class
because this conversation could not wait. We talked for several hours.
(34:33):
I was honest and reinforced how emotionally exhausted I feel.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
Also take back the kid thing. I don't think they
have kids. I thought they did. I forgot they were
this young. Apologies everyone, apologies. It's hard to keep up
with these stories after a while. Kids, no kids, some kids,
one kid kid on the way. So yeah, I don't
know what she meant by us. She meant both of them. Wow,
moving out of the house. Ah, dang.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
If your partner.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
Everyone was like, yeah, and talking to this other person,
but I was only asking them if they wanted to
do something with the two of us, and I deleted
all of the messages. You go, wow, Richard Nixon, that's
pretty convenient.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Huh. I guess I'll just believe you.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
No, you go, hey, why don't you go take that
person and find another third because it's not gonna be me.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
I'm done, yep, and I'm now an Alaskan fisherman.
Speaker 4 (35:26):
You know how easy it is to not cheat on
your partner. It is so easy to not cheat on
your partner.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
You know how easy it is to break up with
someone you don't find interesting anymore and then continue another relationship.
It's pretty easy too.
Speaker 4 (35:40):
The sad thing is that that's harder than not cheating.
Some people, they're like, ooh, I can't.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
So I'll just be completely wrong.
Speaker 4 (35:47):
Instead of letting someone down, I'll just silently do it
behind their backs until they find out, and I'll make
everything worse. So the update Sam here, we're gonna get
back to the stories, but here's three minutes bads from
our sponsors how his actions have been hurting me and
made it clear that it is no longer possible for
us to keep living with his mother. He listened, we cried,
(36:10):
and it seems that finally he understood the seriousness of
the situation. He realized that if he doesn't change now,
I will change my life, with or without him. We've
agreed to urgently look for a place of our own.
The rent where we live is extremely high, we're close
to international borders, and buying a home isn't an option
right now. I gave us a two or three month
(36:31):
deadline to find something. That's the time I'm giving myself
till then. I'll stay at my sister's place. It's small,
and I'll be sleeping on the floor, but honestly, I'd
rather do that than stay in a house where I
feel like I can't breathe. Yes, I asked for a break,
a short one, just enough to clear my head and
remind myself that I deserve peace. He was surprised and
(36:54):
even desperate, probably because this time I wasn't just threatening.
I was leaving, even if temporarily. There's a little bit
more story left.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
Good move on you, awesome sister and Opie. I hope
you can find a solution here. I think if you
hear the crashing of waves on a boat, and you
see yourself in your dreams kind of in a cold
but yet homie. Boat should probably look into Alaskan fishing.
I think you might like that. Keep your ears and
dreams open to that.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Yeah, an Alaskan crab fisherman.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Yeah, or just a fisherman in general, because I mean,
they make money. And then you just do that for
like six months, go back to school. What's six months?
Speaker 2 (37:33):
What's six months on an Alaskan crab boat?
Speaker 3 (37:36):
Come on.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
So that's where we're at.
Speaker 4 (37:38):
I don't know how this story ends, but I know
it can't go on the way it was. I'm going
to use this time to take care of myself. Self
care isn't just about skincare. It's always about caring for
your mind. And so tomorrow I have an appointment with
my therapist and I plan to open up to her.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
About all of this.
Speaker 4 (37:53):
I hope to find the peace I need. I'm young,
but I've already been through a lot and I don't
want to carry any more unnecessary he burdens in my life.
And that is the end of that story. And you know,
good luck moving forward. You guys can work through it.
You guys can work through it.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Yeah, I would be leaving, Yeah, but I'm not you.
Speaker 4 (38:13):
I think having flirtatious, spicy conversations with someone over the
phone and then deleting all of them and then telling
you what they are.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Is too suspicious for me to look past.
Speaker 4 (38:24):
I think him reacting the way he did when your
father was in the hospital too much for me to
look past. There's a guy sometimes I watch him for
like philosophical stuff, a really good one he had. Sometimes
there are things that are done or said that are
so venomous it cannot be undone. It's basically this is
a video about like not talking when you're angry. So
(38:45):
he shakes up two sodas and he opens one right
away and it like explodes, and then he talks about it,
and then he opens up the other one and it
doesn't explode. It's basically a warning like don't talk when
you're angry. But it's like, don't talk when you're angry
because you can't take certain things back. So this isn't
really in the context of not talking when you're angry.
But I think the way that he did those things,
(39:07):
he cannot take those back, Like I was you.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
It's already out of the bottle. You can't put it
back in the bottle, yep.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
And you got to remember that in this scenario too,
there are two red code Mountain dews and you're on
a white ruck, so you can't clean that up.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Got cod red mount de Cora. God love me some
cold group cold cod red down Dow.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
But guys, we got one more story before we close
this out. I'm gonna find that for us real quick.
My husband's parents are overstepping our boundaries and it's straining
our relationship.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Telling him to step off.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Backstory, My husband and I have been married for almost
three years now. His parents have always been very emotional
and needy. When we were first married, we lived three
hours away from them, his first time living away from home,
and we saw them at least every month. By the way,
this comes from throwaway the in laws and if you
want to speak old stories, go to the r slash
(40:05):
Okay story time subbur I'm Riley, I'm Dakota, and Obi says.
In between seeing them, they would skype with us a
few times a week, an average of an hour conversation
each time, as well as call, text, and email.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
It seems like a lot.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
I finally told my husband that this was too much
for me. He agreed, and we cut it back a little. Yeah,
we cut it back to forty five minutes each call. Yeah, exactly, No, no, no,
fifty incrementally. Now, since that time, there have been little
things here and there where they have clearly gone too
far in their involvement. Some things include opening our mouth,
(40:43):
going through our check book they said they thought it
was theirs, and calling our lawyer regarding a situation they
thought wasn't being handled. Well, these are all beside the point,
but being shared so you can see they have some
problems with respecting our boundaries. Real quick. You know what
I want to see here? I would to see my
(41:05):
husband do laundry. I want to see him cook a meal.
I want to see him change his oil?
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Can he do that?
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Can you change your oil? Oh? He can't.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
Oh it's because his parents did everything for him.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Might just be and that means you're now.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
Gonna have to be the caretaker. Oh you're the new mommy.
Guys who's buying groceries and cooking for their child.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Mama changed the oil, Mama.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
No you didn't. There's oil everywhere how is there oil
in the house, babe? There's oil everywhere. We're like to
oh so besides that, thanks. We do it all right
until we moved eighteen hours away in January, so it's
in school. They became increasingly clinging. They came to visit
(41:52):
for a week less than a month after we moved,
and are constantly sending us emails and text about how
sad they are. We scott often and try to humor
them with pep talks, but it's never enough. Just last
week I received a text from my father in law
that his pariontal soul needs to be watered. Who's sprinkling
(42:13):
the rain drops on that?
Speaker 2 (42:14):
I guess the children. The children must feed your parental soul.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
My husband receives two weeks off per six month period.
He works forty hours a week on top of having
fifteen credit hours, so I really don't see him all
that much. Those vacations are very important to us. He
has a week off in August and in November. When
his parents heard about the November week off, they booked
a flight to come and stay with us for ten
days uninvited. They also invited his siblings down in August.
(42:43):
We are going camping with my family because I understand
that they miss their son. I invited my in laws
as well. Next thing I know, they're inviting their relatives
to join and trying to convince my husband just to
camp for a few days and then leave early and
spend the rest of his time in a different nearby
city with them. Who's your keeper, husband, Mommy and daddy.
Speaker 4 (43:05):
I mean, it's one thing to be like we should
get the family together. It's another thing to be like, hey,
we're hijacking.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Your week off.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Yep, you're gonna do this in this.
Speaker 4 (43:13):
Yeah, I know you have plans to spend time with
your wife. Forget your wife, Come spend time with your family.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
It's crazy you has siblings too. This seems like something
they do with the only child, but he has other siblings.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
Yeah. No, it's just like come up for a weekend, dude,
It's not a come on.
Speaker 3 (43:27):
When I heard about this, I got upset that they
would overstep their invitation and try to steal them away
from time with me and my family. So I put
the kebash on it and uninvited them. Needless to say,
they were not too happy today. Done done. I need
to watch Law Order It was last time you've seen
a long order episode.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
I don't know. I've been pretty unlawful and unruly.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
This all leads up to today. My husband received an
email sent only to him saying that they couldn't wait
until November. They missed him so much, so in two
weeks they'll be driving their old beater car. They don't
have the money to both fly eighteen hours to our place.
His MoMA will be staying four days and leaving, but
his dad will be staying ten days, perhaps more if
(44:12):
he can get more time off work. My husband showed
me the email and said, you can't say no. They're
coming down and we will be treating you and your
dog's name. I flipped out. I told my husband at
this point, it's not about them visiting or even staying
in our small, two bedroom apartment. Is about the lack
of respect that they show for boundaries. My husband is
(44:32):
one hundre percent apathetic to it all. He says that
my life is too short to make ripples and that
we should just enjoy their company. Am I overreacting? We
have an update.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Hey y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get
back to the stories, but here's a quick three minute
break from ask for more sponsors.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
I feel like your husband wants to spend time with
his family. Yeah, and your problem lies with like, well,
shouldn't I be able to spend all of that week
off with my husband?
Speaker 3 (45:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (45:00):
Because I feel like I don't seem enough. But you
got to figure out how to see each other more.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
When you don't have those weeks off.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
Yeah. I think you're both are very busy, and to
preserve this relationship, something has to give, like either less school,
less job, or you know, sacrifice this time that you
have with your husband, knowing that later in the road
you'll have more time with them, hoping, because I feel
like once you get rolling in a busy schedule in
a relationship, that's the vibe. That's how it's always going
(45:28):
to be.
Speaker 4 (45:29):
He's made it clear that his philosophy is life is
too short to create.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
This tension with my family over them wanting to see me.
Speaker 3 (45:37):
Yeah. So summary of previous posts. Last week, my husband
received an email from his dad. The email that my
father in law and mother in law had decided that
they were going to come and visit us for ten
days because they could have waited any longer to see
their son. A direct quote from the email, after stating
that they were visiting, he's no approvals needed, no denials accepted.
I was really gay. Now that bothers me.
Speaker 4 (46:00):
Yeah, that kind of stuff sends me up the wall.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
You are just kids. You don't know better. Where we
got it from here?
Speaker 4 (46:07):
Because it's like that kind of attitude makes me go,
oh yeah, watch this.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Yeah, and they go, where are you? We're in town.
I go, that's crazy, I'm not.
Speaker 3 (46:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Oops.
Speaker 3 (46:18):
I was really angry about the situation. I felt like
they were overstepping their boundaries and my husband seem apathetic.
I gave my husband a couple of days to think
about what he wanted to do. He gave myself a
couple of days to cool down, and then I talked
to him again. He actually was pretty receptive and we
had a good conversation. We both agreed that he would
(46:39):
talk to his parents and discuss appropriate boundaries. We wouldn't
ask them to stay in a hotel because they couldn't
afford it, but would tell them that they need to
respect our need for privacy and alone time. Should we
ask that's happening now? He skyed with his parents on
Saturday alone because I was out of town. He said
that it went well and they like they understood. After
(47:02):
he spoke with them, I sent them both a follow
up text that Saturday night, letting them know that during
the ten days they will be visiting us. One, we
will need to be away for one full day as
we had already made plans to celebrate our wedding anniversary.
Two a friend of mine will likely be dropping in
from out of town and might be with us for
a day or two. Three I asked them to leave
(47:25):
their handguns behind. This is a personal preference of mind.
Six months ago, they both bought handguns for the first
time and have decided they only feel safe when sleeping
next to their pupius. I do not feel comfortable with
that in my house, so I asked that they leave
the pupis behind. That's that's wild to me. Sorry, as
someone that has grown up around firearms and believes strongly
(47:48):
in the Second Amendment. Having to sleep next to them
all the time. Where do you live?
Speaker 2 (47:52):
It feels more like mental illness than anything. I don't know,
believing that that's gonna keep you safer just because they're
like right next to you and you just sleep.
Speaker 3 (48:02):
I don't know, no, no, I some people have opinions
about this, but I'm like, I don't know. I understand
wanting to feel safe and having access to it in
case you need to do defense, but traveling with it
and putting other people at harm, that's.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
I don't know, man.
Speaker 4 (48:16):
I think the only way that that makes any sense
you have like one surgically implanted into your skull so
that when you wake up and there's an intruder right above,
you can go boom.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
But that doesn't work, that doesn't happen. You can't do
that yet.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
I'm working on something. Honestly, wasn't trying to be an antagonistic.
I just wanted to be very clear with them and
up front so there were no surprises when they arrived.
I didn't want them to make conflicting plans and ended
up disappointed. I sent a text because I was out
of the country and didn't have access to Wi Fi
and couldn't call. I didn't receive any response from them
Saturday or Sunday, unusual because they were always quick at answering.
(48:53):
Then yesterday, Monday, my husband texts me tell me that
he got a text from them, saying that they loved
him and missed him, but that they were not going
to visit us anymore. No explanation, just that they weren't
no longer coming, despite the fact that they boot their
vacation time and bought a flight ticket for my mother
in law's return home. He then asked why, and they
(49:14):
said that they would talk to both him and me
over skype. Well, my husband has a super busy week
and doesn't have the time to have another lengthy discussion,
and they had planned on driving down here June thirtieth,
so I told him I would want to talk with
him to try and smooth things over before then, because
at the end of the day, it would be nice
for him to see them, and I don't want him
(49:34):
to miss out on family time because of petty drama
that I may or may have not cost. So I
texted them immediately Monday and told them that I wasn't
sure what was going on, but that I would love
to talk with them and listen to what they had
to say. I told them that i'd be back in
the States today Tuesday, and asked them to let me
know a couple of times that might work to skype.
(49:55):
No answer instead, my father in law text is my
husband as a response to my text that they will
not answer any texts and will only communicate via skype.
So I played dumb and sent them another text today
saying I didn't hear back from either of you, so
I think my last text probably didn't go through. Husband
is busy all week you guys have time to skype
(50:16):
with me today. A few hours later, I get a
text from mother in law saying they will skype when
my husband is able. I responded saying, I just asked,
because between both of our schedules, we won't be able
to skype with you until this weekend, and if you
cancel your plans because of something I said, I want
you to know that I'm available to talk before them
no answer. I know they have checked their phones because
(50:39):
they sent my husband a text after that saying they
were thinking of him. It's frustrating because this is still
boils to the same issue, a huge lack of appropriate communication.
The one positive note is that at least my husband
and I are on the same page. Finally. He's really
embarrassed by how his parents are acting and has said
(51:00):
that unless they have some legitimate reason, their car broke down.
He has nothing to say to them. I don't think
they like Opie.
Speaker 4 (51:08):
I don't think so either, And I wouldn't be beaten
around the bush with like, oh my test didn't go through.
I'd be like, hey, we're all adults here. I'm the
other half of the partnership your son and I share.
If you got something to say about us, you can
say it to me.
Speaker 3 (51:24):
Right here to my face. Sorry, fikes so, and now
looks like they are no longer coming. I do feel
guilty for causing tension between my husband and his parents.
Part of me wishes I just kept my mouth shut
and just gone with it, and then there would not
have been any drama to deal with. Ridiculous, unnecessary drama
at that.
Speaker 4 (51:43):
Yeah, but it's all coming from them. They are moving
about this like they are in middle school. Yeah, literally,
like they're thirteen years old.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
Take you out of this, what's left? That's the issue.
While the other part feels like if I didn't say anything,
they would have continued to overstep their boundaries and I
would have gone crazy. So as of now, they are
not visiting, and my husband has no desire to talk
with them, and I guess I'll stop asking if they
want to talk with me. Yeah, I don't think they
like you, but they're not going to tell you that,
(52:14):
and that's the end of that story.
Speaker 2 (52:16):
I guess they definitely won't tell you that.
Speaker 3 (52:17):
They're only going to talk to your husband and hopefully
you guys can have time for yourselves.
Speaker 4 (52:21):
When I was siding with them, I didn't imagine they
were the most exhausting, annoying yeah people of all time?
Speaker 3 (52:27):
What's he got a little bit more context there.
Speaker 2 (52:29):
It's like, oh, anytime anyone's just like yeah, and it's
not up to you, and no requests accepted, no denials
listened to. It's like, yeah, oh oh okay, you stepped
up and you put a stop to it.
Speaker 3 (52:44):
Congrats Obie. And that's the end of that episode. So
if you love us, make sure to subscribe. We love
you and see you tomorrow.
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